7 minute read
Chasing Butterflies Journals
Be brave. You are enough, and God is with you.
BY CONNIE VANHORN
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Joshua was a man after God’s own heart. He was given a huge responsibility and desired to follow God wholeheartedly. He was a true warrior for God. Joshua was to guide the Israelites into the promised land. Nothing about this battle was going to be easy for him. Joshua had a fearful heart, yet he followed God’s call to walk the path He commanded instead of his own.
God has given us great responsibilities. Whether you are a wife, mother, or church or business leader, God has entrusted you with much. He has specifically positioned you to oversee your household or work environment or lead your children. And He has definitely tasked you with chasing after Him. Sometimes, it can feel like we carry the weight and responsibility of a thousand tons.
After becoming a Christian, I quickly learned that life wouldn’t be all roses. Previously, I had viewed Christianity as a weightless existence. With my newfound faith, I thought I would finally feel good enough. But this was not the case, and I soon realized that I was about to hit some rough seas. God would take me on a journey of self-discovery through the waves of life, but He would be there with me. He never promised it would be easy or pain-free. I didn’t feel equal to others, good enough for the task, or perfectly put together instantly. It’s quite the opposite. But God was working to squeeze out all those icky feelings and parts of me that serve no purpose for His kingdom. He was preparing me for the fight of my life.
I learned about the battle between good and evil. I wasn’t quietly dancing through life anymore. As a Christian, I realized that I had become a target and must lift my shield and be ready for the arrows.
God is training up warrior women. We can look at some of Joshua’s battles to find courage. Joshua was told to care for God’s people, go into battle and face giants, defeat enemies, and conquer the land. This life is not easy, but there’s a greater battle going on. Like Joshua, we need God’s constant encouragement as we wonder, “Can I live up to God’s expectations? Am I enough? Can I do what God has called me to do?”
Success starts with following God’s Word— knowing and living by it. Sketch it into your heart and mind every day. Let your eyes see with an eternal perspective. When I first got saved, I carried my Bible constantly. I even had someone refer to me as a “Bible thumper.” I wrote scripture on sticky notes and left them all over my house and in my purse. I even drew a cross on my wrist. God was sketching His Word into my heart and mind, allowing me to see with kingdom perspective as He prepared me to face battles. Those sketches of His Word and love for me sustain me now. If we walk obediently to His calling, God will prepare us to be warriors and take on the darkness of this world.
God thinks you are worth more than rubies. We need to see ourselves this way. We can use God’s Word as our greatest weapon for survival.
I love looking at the examples in the Bible of women who were God’s ideal warriors.
Mary gave up everything to follow God’s will. And despite how she may have been looked down upon initially, she was successful and blessed. Mary was chosen by God, but she still had to walk through opposition, holding her head high and trusting God.
My first test with opposition was early in my walk with God. I enrolled my children in the school where we were going to church. I was involved in the women’s ministry and, for the first time in my life, I believed I was good enough to be in God’s family.
When it came time to enroll my youngest son in the kindergarten program at the church, I was elated. He had been attending a public school program, and I would finally have all my children in one school in God’s house. The church gave me the paperwork to fill out and have the pre-k teacher at the public school sign the forms that showed he was kindergarten-ready.
I thought I did everything right, but I inadvertently signed where the teacher should have. A few days later, the church called me into the school office for a meeting. I thought it was to congratulate me on my son’s placement.
The head of school and the kindergarten teacher were sitting across from me. The headmaster explained they do not tolerate forging. They went on to say that my son would not be granted entrance into the kindergarten program. I was shocked, embarrassed, and very confused. I didn’t forge anything. I asked to see the paperwork and explained that it was only a mistake; I would never intentionally sign for another person.
They wouldn’t hear my pleas of innocence, and I was humiliated. The teacher was the beloved kindergartner teacher, and she was also in my Bible class. It destroyed my credibility as a Christian and caused me so much shame.
I wanted to run away. I wanted to leave the church and start over. That’s what the enemy wants, right? The enemy wants to take us away from things that lead us to God. He wants to kill, steal, and destroy our view of ourselves.
This was my first experience with the bullseye on my back. Through this experience, I realized the enemy would try to destroy my purpose in God’s kingdom.
I refused to be chased away from my church family, but this wasn’t easy. I tried so hard to walk with my chin up, like Mary. I felt so shameful and unworthy, but the beauty is that God was changing me. We change in our suffering. We change in and through opposition.
I eventually went to the pastor about the forging issue and pleaded my case of innocence. As it turns out, the form was not written clearly, so they changed it completely. And my son was enrolled and joined his siblings at church school.
God loves us deeply, but that doesn’t mean life will not hurt.
How do we become brave women?
Through obedience. If God tells you to walk on fire, trust His direction. You are God’s prized possession, and He wants you to look up at Him with your whole heart. He is not looking for your perfection but is only after your willing heart. Seek God first in all you do, and let everything else fall into place. God will qualify and propel you into position.
You are enough. You are made in God’s image; He created a purpose just for you. Like Joshua and Mary, you can change the world by following God. God is calling you to walk into your calling with courage.
Be brave. You are a warrior for God’s kingdom, and He calls you to live extraordinarily. You are far more precious than rubies, and He will be with you wherever you go.
