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Kingdom Promise: Abundance, Hope, and a Future
SURRENDER
by Kelly Williams Hale
“If it’s meant to be, it’s up to me.”
Maybe, like me, you’ve heard this saying. Or perhaps—again, like me—this is a mantra in your life.
I remember when I would ask my kids to help around the house— giving them chores to empty the dishwasher or fold the laundry. Like obedient children, they would complete the task, but it would be (in my opinion!) not done “right.” Inevitably, I would re-fold the clothes or re-load the dishwasher! All the while muttering under my breath, “I should’ve just done it myself.”
If we want something done right, we need to do it ourselves. Right?
I’ve discovered this is a common mindset for women—particularly women who struggle with control. Unfortunately, many of us wouldn’t view ourselves as “control freaks,” yet we find it difficult to trust handing off tasks to others. It’s not that we think they’re incapable; we just want things done “right.” In other words, done “my way.” In fact, we will often reassign our commitments and priorities so we can personally take care of the very thing we asked someone else to help us with!
I have been so guilty of this. That’s another side of the coin, by the way: guilt. It doesn’t take much for us to feel the need to control a situation and, conversely, feel guilty for not trusting someone else to handle it. This paradigm also keeps us from asking for the help we sometimes desperately need.
The looping thought in our mind is I’ve got this. I don’t need any help. I’m a strong, independent women. I’ve got this.
If it’s meant to be, it’s up to me.
But God says: Trust Me. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight (Proverbs 3:5-6 NIV).
We were not created to operate independently of others. We were designed for community. We are told in scripture to serve others (1 Peter 4:10-11). The world, however, seeks to exalt “self.” Self-sufficiency is the name of the game. I willingly participated in this game until fairly recently. I’ve been the queen of personal development, devouring every self-help book I could find. All in the pursuit of growing. Which is not a bad thing. As we grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ as we are instructed in 2 Peter 3:18 (NIV), we are meant to change. God loves us too much to allow us to stay the same. Sanctification is part of working out our salvation (Philippians 2:12) and is a lifelong pursuit.
However, if we are to become who God created us to be, we must relinquish the need for control. The process begins with trusting who God is and includes surrender—surrendering our will to His plan. This is where the rubber meets the road. Surrender is essentially the highest expression of faith. And without faith, it’s impossible to please God (Hebrews 11:6 NIV).
God showed me that in my quest for personal growth, I had succumbed to the worldview of self-sufficiency. Slowly—and unintentionally—I had put more value on my own will and strength than on what God says.
Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what good, pleasing and perfect will. (ROMANS 12:2 NIV)
I look back on my journey and can clearly see I was conforming to the world. I was trying to construct a path to abundance, hope, and a future without fully surrendering to God’s will for my life.
God has shown me that fear is the root of our need to control. There are many definitions of fear, but this one is most accurate as it relates to control: a feeling of anxiety concerning the outcome of something. There’s safety—or at least reassurance—when I am the one responsible for a task or situation. But God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7).
Letting go and letting God takes practice, for sure! But what a sense of relief that we can trust the One who created the heavens and the earth. He literally has the whole world in His hands. And we get to breathe a cleansing sigh of relief knowing He is faithful and just to keep His promises (Hebrews 10:23). Whew!
We can truly say, “Jesus, take the wheel,” knowing we are safe and secure with HIM in the driver’s seat. Surrender is the path to freedom.
Here’s a simple four-step formula for when (not if!) you feel compelled to snatch back what you’ve handed over to God, based on Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV).
STEP 1. Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Trust is built on relationship. We cultivate relationship with God when we spend time in the Word. Ask the Holy Spirit to illuminate scripture that strengthens your trust in Him.
STEP 2. Lean not on your own understanding. Oh, this one is tough! Our human self wants all the answers… and we want them now! This is difficult when we are dealing with disappointment, an unexpected diagnosis, or a prodigal child. But we can lean on the Lord and ask Him for wisdom in any circumstance (James 1:5-8).
STEP 3. In all your ways submit to him. We are commanded to submit ALL our ways to the Lord. Not just what’s easy or the things we’re comfortable with handing over. This verse says we are to submit ALL our ways. Our thoughts, our plans, our family, our work, our desires, our heart, our hurt, our fear, our hopes, our SELF. What we don’t want to deal with and what we want to CONTROL. Everything. Give it all to Jesus.
STEP 4. And he will make your paths straight. This is the promise we receive when we follow Steps 1 through 3. God will direct our steps. When you don’t know which way to go, surrender. When you don’t have the answers, surrender. When you are trying to control outcomes, surrender.
Surrender is simply another word for having faith. Learning how to lean on the Lord fully will test our faith. Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything (James 1:2-4 NIV).
The Holy Spirit will empower you to release your need for control. Ask Him to show you what His will is.
What a relief to know we don’t have to do life in OUR own power, but we get to co-labor with Jesus on our journey of faith!
Wonderfully Made
God has given each of you a gift. Use it to help each other. This will show God’s loving-favor. (1 PETER 4:10 NLV)
knew He was sovereign and the Creator of the universe. What I lacked was believing that I was loved.
Growing up, I felt a strong need to DO good. I was praised for getting good grades or helping around the house, receiving validation for what I did, not necessarily for who I was.
I always felt like an ugly duckling and constantly compared myself to the other girls in my class, in magazines, or on TV. If only I looked like her. If only I was shorter, smarter, skinnier—fill in the blank—then I would be happy. Worthy. Enough.
It took me years to understand my worth doesn’t come from the things I do (or did) or what I look like, but rather, it comes from who God says I am: Chosen. Loved. His favorite daughter.
You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
You saw me before I was born.
Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out
before a single day had passed. (PSALM 139:13-16 NLT)
But I am still human, and life has a way of throwing us all curveballs that can throw us off our game. Even the most devoted believer will go through seasons of doubt, fear, and uncertainty. But God. He is faithful to finish the work He started (Philippians 1:6). Romans 8:28 tells us, And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose (NIV).
A common way our enemy will derail us on the path to our destiny is to tempt us with lies. The lie often begins with, “Did God really say?” (Genesis 3:1)
For me, it sounded like this: “Did God really say you’re meant to teach single moms? How can He use you? You’ve made so many mistakes.”
Maybe you’ve heard these lies: “Did God really say you had a gift to sing?” “Did God really say you should start that business?” “Did God really say you have a message to share?” These lies have a way of dimming the light we are meant to carry into the world.
You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. (MATTHEW 5:14 NIV)
Fear is real. God gave us the emotion of fear to keep us safe. But Jesus says, “Fear not.”
Fear can keep us from becoming who God says we already are. We get caught up in perfectionism, pleasing others, and downplaying our gifts because they make folks uncomfortable. When fear keeps us from being ourselves, we begin to live a life never meant for us.
Jeremiah 29:11 says, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Verse 12 continues, “Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you” (NIV).
God has a purpose specific to you. That means He’s given you everything you need to fulfill His plan for your life. The key to unlocking all He has for you is found inside your very soul. We were each created purposefully—with our unique personalities, strengths, and even our limitations. (Yes, God knows about your big ears and curly hair—He created them!) His desire is for each of us to “Do more of what makes you awesome.”
Mind you, we are all a work in progress, admonished to grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ (2 Peter 3:18 NIV). God loves us too much to allow us to stay the same. Abiding in Jesus will, at times, feel like being pruned. Uncomfortable. Awkward. It may even hurt. We may fear we’ll be disappointed in the results. But God is a gentleman. He won’t force us to do anything. We get to choose to follow Him. As we walk out our faith, we will quit comparing our Chapter 1 with someone’s Chapter 12. As we go deeper into the Word, God will reveal what’s next for us.
I’m so excited to see what God does this year!
I am loved.
You are, too.
GOD HAS A PURPOSE SPECIFIC TO YOU. THAT MEANS HE’S GIVEN YOU EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO FULFILL HIS PLAN FOR YOUR LIFE.
Kelly Williams Hale is an author, speaker, and coach. Through inner healing and intimacy work, Kelly teaches women how to get past proving their worth and how to fall in love with God. You are invited to join her Facebook community—Sisters Who Shine— for inspiration, encouragement, and support. She can also be reached at thebebravelife@gmail.com.
