6 minute read
Chasing Butterflies Journals
Learning to Fly with Cracked Wings
by Connie VanHorn
Did you know that butterflies can fly with cracked wings?
Butterflies are beautiful creatures with the remarkable ability to continue flying even with cracked wings. Despite their delicate appearance, butterflies have evolved to adapt and survive in the face of adversity. When a butterfly’s wings become damaged, it doesn’t give up or lose hope. It finds ways to compensate for the cracks and take its flight through the beautiful skies.
In many ways, the resilience and determination shown by butterflies can serve as a powerful example for our own lives. Like butterflies, we will have struggles that can leave us feeling broken, damaged, and left with cracks. However, it is important to remember that these setbacks do not define who we are in God’s eyes. God sees through the cracks, and we are called to see others this way, too.
As a young daydreamer, I often envisioned a future where I would soar to great heights. I would daydream about being a star one day. At a young age, I believed my purpose was to become a country singer, but as time passed, I realized that my true calling was yet to be revealed. At the young age of 18, I set out for Los Angeles, fueled by my desire to shine bright as a star but without a clear vision of the path ahead. I just wanted to “be someone special.”
The constant inner pull to be something significant stemmed from a deep-seated place within me that was rooted in my trauma-filled childhood. I had never felt good enough, and I thought I had to be something great to be liked. That is where my worth settled for many years, and as I carried the weight of my past into adulthood, I embarked on a journey of self-discovery and healing, but I had to go through some hard things first.
GOD STILL ALLOWS US TO FLY—EVEN WITH CRACKS!
It was during one of the most difficult seasons of my life that I encountered an intervention that would change the course of my life forever. In August 2014, I surrendered my heart to Jesus, paving the way for a transformation and a newfound sense of purpose. God rescued me from my past and the pain that had weighed me down for so many years. God was fixing my cracks and gradually unraveling the layers of pain and insecurity that had stolen my sense of worth. He showed me that my worth and value are in Him alone, and if I were to be anything, it would be for Him.
Through journaling, I began to document my journey with God, capturing everything I was learning and the miracles I witnessed along the way. I titled everything “Chasing Butterflies.” I was chasing my new life, and I wanted the whole world to know about my amazing and loving God.
Despite all my doubts and insecurities, a vision began to grow within me—a dream to share God’s love and grace through writing! While lacking formal education and a writing community and resources, I found hope in the realization that God equips those He calls, regardless of their perceived shortcomings—and I had plenty of shortcomings. I didn’t know how He would do it, but I never lost faith that He could. I believed in Him, and I wrote my vision in my journal every day.
The turning point came the day I witnessed the launch of Women World Leaders’ book titled Courageous Steps of Faith, which ignited a spark of courage within me. Encouraged by a deep burning desire to write a vision of purpose, I bravely submitted my testimony, “Chasing Butterflies,” to Kimberly Hobbs and Julie Jenkins, never expecting the response that awaited me. They invited me to be part of their next book, Victories. It was a dream come true—I could hardly believe it.
GOD SEES THROUGH THE CRACKS, AND WE ARE CALLED TO SEE OTHERS THIS WAY, TOO.
I recognized that pinch-me moment as an affirmation—a sprinkle of hope from God, guiding me toward a path of service and storytelling. It was a reminder that God’s plans for our lives exceed our own limited perceptions and that, through faith and perseverance, we can transcend our fears and embrace the journey God has called us to with open arms and bold faith.
Beginning my journey with Women World Leaders was a dream come true. However, my personal life was a mess at the time, and as hard as I tried to separate the two worlds, it was difficult. I encountered numerous obstacles and faced adversity in all areas of my life, so I had to be open and honest with what I was going through. This was hard for me because I had become so good at hiding all my cracks.
I knew my life looked different. Messy. Despite my brokenness, Kimberly and Julie looked beyond my flaws and circumstances and saw the light shining through the cracks of my wings. They viewed me through an eternal lens and instilled belief in my abilities. Their faith in me empowered self-belief, even when others doubted my ability to soar. It has been a few years since then, and I am still evolving, but their love and support, along with that of the other women within this amazing ministry, were the slingshot in my taking flight. I can only hope I can pass along this same lifechanging love to others.
God is still working on me, and He’s working on you too. Ironing out the wrinkles takes a lifetime, but God still allows us to fly—even with cracks!
Let us strive to see the goodness in others, to look beyond imperfections, chaos, and brokenness. By doing so, we may witness extraordinary transformations and miracles.
Just as with a butterfly, we can look beyond an individual’s cracks and observe her beauty as she rises to her God-given purpose. And by drawing inspiration from the resilience of butterflies, we can learn to embrace our own imperfections and find new ways to soar through this life. By drawing on God’s strength and seeing ourselves as He sees us, we can ascend above our past and adversities and continue moving toward the visions and the purpose God has called us to. Fly high!
See past messy.
See past broken.
You might just see a miracle.
THEREFORE, IF ANYONE IS IN CHRIST, THE NEW CREATION HAS COME: THE OLD HAS GONE, THE NEW IS HERE! (2 CORINTHIANS 5:17 NIV)
