Change Your Story with Kirstin Leigh

Self-Indulgence—the Imposter of Self-Love

BY KIRSTIN LEIGH

"All things are permitted, but not all things are profitable. All things are permitted, but not all things build people up." (1 Corinthians 10:23 NASB)

“Calgon, take me away!” Do you remember the famous Calgon commercials? The woman relaxing in a bathtub of overflowing bubbles, convincing us that Calgon would take away all of our troubles?

What about the splashy magazine ads that we see every day sporting models dressed in exquisite clothes carrying shopping bags with “You Deserve It” written in swirling letters across the top? Or the happy people boozing it up on billboards saying things like, “The Time is Now, Have Fun, Enjoy Life!”

Do you know people who indulge in a massive ice cream sundae topped with whipped cream and every topping imaginable after being on a diet for a week? Have you ever been this person? I have!

I’ve overindulged in everything I mentioned more than once, often in the name of self-love. And at times, it was fun—for the moment! But adding to the debt I was trying to eliminate, waking up with a headache and regrets, and indulging in unhealthy food…well, none of it felt very loving the next day.

Don’t get me wrong, bubble baths are great. And who doesn’t love a new outfit? A new outfit for a specific occasion can give us a boost. And sometimes—for some people—drinks and sugar are fine. But the point is, when we overindulge in some of the things we often associate with self-love, they can actually lead us to think less of ourselves.

I’m not talking about being perfect or never treating ourselves, but about getting to the root of what it really means to love ourselves.

Our culture focuses on the “self” part of self-love and often encourages us to do things that have nothing to do with loving ourselves. It has perverted the term to the extent that, as believers, we often tune out when we hear the expression self-love.

Yet the Bible tells us in Mark 12:31 that we are to love our neighbor as ourselves. How can we do this if we don’t know how to love ourselves? In 1 Corinthians 3:16 we learn that our body is a temple, that God’s Spirit dwells in us. Ephesians 5:29 says we are to nourish and cherish our flesh, as Christ does the church! "For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." (Ephesians 2:10 NIV)

God loves us more than we can imagine, and self-love is when we make decisions that align with who He created us to be. It’s when we pursue His heart when we’re hurting. It’s going to Him with our questions—before we pick up the phone, turn to our spouse, best friend, counselor, etc.

Self-love is about treating yourself with respect—and extending that respect to others. It’s creating a life you don’t need to escape from. It’s being able to walk into any room with your head held high and not feel like a fraud. Self-love is knowing it’s okay to be vulnerable, ask for help, and understand that you are worthy of love.

We can’t do any of these things without God. But with God, all things are possible. (See Matthew 19:26)

In its truest essence, self-love is about aligning our thoughts, habits, words, and ways with God. It is treating ourselves with the love, forgiveness, and grace He gives us. It’s being healed and whole and walking in the freedom He provides. It’s asking tough questions, such as:

"Am I making decisions that honor God? Are bad habits holding me back? Do my relationships build me up or tear me down? Am I pursuing God’s purpose for my life? Have I settled with “okay”? What am I hiding? Why am I hiding it? Is my past affecting my present? Am I living life at my highest potential? If not, why not?"

And the most important question: "What am I going to do about it?"

Immerse yourself in God’s Word. Read books that inspire you, listen to music that moves you in the right direction, pray, and take classes or workshops that will help you break free from strongholds.

Indulge in God’s love for you. This kind of self-love will Change Your Story.

After running away from her dreams and battling addictions for over a decade, Kirstin Leigh is now a bestselling author, speaker, actress, and the founder of “The Change Your Story Workshop.” She is passionate about empowering others to break free from strongholds and discover the masterpiece that lives within. To find out more about Kirstin or to purchase her books, you can visit www.Kirstinleigh.com. For information or to enroll in “The Change Your Story Workshop,” visit www.thechangeyourstoryworkshop.com