Why do you think winners compete? Is it for the trophy, or the cash prize, the recognition or simply the thrill? Well, these do matter to some extent, but I think winners compete to find their place in the world, to better themselves and to leave a mark. Winners are people who make the decision every single day to improve the way they live… they, then act, give and do whatever it takes because at the end they know that there is a special place for those who give the best they can. They put value on everything they do. They work with passion—even on the things that may not often be considered worthwhile, but must be done. They put their soul in what they do. And they often do it without expecting a reward. They know the value of time, and they appreciate opportunities. Winners are also givers. They take chances even as they relentlessly pursue goals and dreams. They believe in themselves and they are not afraid to relinquish their comfort. They are people who truly enjoy the essence of being alive! I am happy to acknowledge the growing participation with each passing year… it means that there is a growing breed of young change makers and leaders who will not only make a difference in their own lives, but will work towards larger good. These young women carry the power to create change. But remember change doesn’t always have to be big… it can be a small thing that you do today to improve one aspect of your life or your home—it could be as simple as reading a good book, cleaning the clutter in the house, getting out of a bad relationship, lending a helping hand to your neighbour, joining a community programme or beginning to exercise. Everything on this earth is in a continuous state of evolving, refining, improving, adapting, enhancing... changing. You were not put on this earth to remain stagnant. Change is in the air. Your time is now. Until the next issue,
swadhwa@vow.com.np
i see it
editor’s pick
What if there isn't “anymore”…
My first brush with ‘we will not be forever’ was when I was about eight years old. A telegram came for my mother saying that my granny was on her last few breaths. And as Corporate Associate Editor mom left in a rush of tears and confusion, another one followed saying that she was no more. I visited my grandmother on holidays and bewildered all I could think of at that time was who would grandpa cook for and talk with if she was gone… forever. I had always seen them together—talking, laughing, cooking, teasing, fighting… always together! Charu Chadha
I couldn’t be there at this year’s VOW Top 10 College Women Competition, but I was there in thought and spirit. I could imagine the crisp Pokhara air, the shimmering lake and yet more the enthusiasm and sheer energy of the young participants. When we began this journey, the very first group of participating students allowed us to feel—that yes, we were doing something right... that this platform was required to bring to the fore and to talk about the dreams, aspirations and goals of young and aspiring leaders of tomorrow. I often reflect on what it takes to compete—to put yourself in all entirety in front of a group of experts to be judged on not just what you have already achieved, but the journey you are carving out for yourself… your place in the world and what you are doing to make a difference!
the w ay
Change is in the air... The Power to Create Change
But I understood the pain of learning that sometimes there isn’t “anymore” much later. Dad struggled with quiet dignity and fought valiantly with the cancer cells overtaking his body… but one evening, he wasn’t there anymore. I felt all emotion drain from my body. I didn’t know whether to cry because he was no more, or to feel happy that he did not have to battle the pain wrecking his body and tearing at his soul. I felt nothing. Dad and I had decided that I would perform his last rites. It was a cold November night. Much later, after the flow of well wishers and concerned friends and relatives ebbed that it struck me that Dad was really no more. There would be no more hugs, none of his special cooking, no more phone calls, chats, jokes, advise or sermons, no more celebrations together, no more “just one minute”. "Sometimes, what we care about the most gets all used up and goes away; never to return before we can say “good-bye” or say "I love you". So while we have it, it's best we love it, care for it, fix it when it's broken and heal it when it's sick. This is true for all relationships… and old cars... and children with bad report cards, and dogs with bad hips, and ageing parents and grandparents. We keep them because they are worth it, because we are worth it. Some things we keep—like a best friend who moved away or remaining friends after divorce. There are just some things that make us happy, no matter what. Life is important, like people we know who are special… and so, we keep them close”... I read these lines somewhere, and today, I know that you must live like you are here forever, but love like there’s no tomorrow.
june 2011 Volume 7 | Issue 9
beauty Beauty Tips 24 Lux A mermaid's guide to great skin-care...
26
Lakme makeup tips Nude makeup The Do's and Dont's Beauty Q & A with Dolly Singh
28
Sunsilk hair expert Hair colouring The right way to do it...
63
My Beautiful life Sahana Bajracharya tells us about her favourites
60 Woman to Watch Sensual Sushma
savor
45
T h e p o w e r t o c r eate c h a n g e
june 2011
42
regulars 11 The way I see it 11 Editor’s Pick 17 Let’s Talk 18 My Cup of Tea
The best years of my life...
32 Hold My Hand 36 Relationship
Is once a cheater, always a cheater?
54 Reader Writes
My environmental warriors
56 VOW Living
5 pots can make a garden
58 Tête-à-tête
All about the birds and the bees...
74 VOW Sex Rules
Men, wake up and smell the coffee!
76 Animal Anecdotes
career & finance & Lovely 38 Fair Career Guidance
child care parents, no 30 Hey thought control!
39 42
male menu a man-woman 34 Inrelationship,
Being a perfectionist may not be a perfect idea! Career Q & A with Dr Niti Rana Woman at work Spreading happiness Sapna Thapa
what counts as cheating for you?
health, fitness & nutrition Feature Q & A with 64 Health 68 Medical Ear acupunture Dr Bharat Rawat Bye, bye bad habits!
66 Exerfile Breathe easy, gal! Bulletin 68 Health Mental Health Q&A with Dr Sharad Man Tamrakar
70 71 72
Dr Neil Pande Dr Ruchi Saxena Dhakal Well Being Celebrity Workout with Sandesh Exercise that works! Fitness Q & A with Sandesh Palungwa Limbu Nutrition and Diet Fruits and Veggies More matters!
The itchy season is here... Pet Q&A with Dr Saroj Yadav
94 Star signs
Dress to Seduce!
entertainment 22 I spy Quiz & Polls 80 VOW Are you a financial wizard? 82 VOW Spices Picks 89 Flick Your guide to happening movies, music and books
90 92
Musical Conversation "Music is an integral part of my life" Dr Sanjeev Upreti New Spark
vow Cover Look
Publishing Committee Managing Editor/CEO - Shalini Wadhwa Editor - N P Shrestha Corporate Associate Editor - Charu Chadha Photo Editor - Sanchit Lamichhane
Editorial Assistant Editor - Poonam Maharjan Reporters - Evelyn Moktan, Samridhi Rana, Pramila Rai
Art & Design Designers Bindu Kumar Tandukar, Anup Man Shrestha
Art & Design Support Senior Designer - Bikram Chandra Majumdar Recently seen in Batch No 16, actress Sushma Karki is here to stay in the tinsel world. Turn to page 60 to know more about her. Photographer: Rajiv Shrestha Makeup & Hair: Ritu Pradhan, Tel: 9849274583 Wardrobe: Fuel, Durbar Marg, Tel: 4238428 Accessories: Bentley, Durbar Marg, Tel: 4228338 Shoes: Envy, Durbar Marg, Tel: 4224241 Cover design: Ajit Sharma All editorial enquiries should be sent to Charu Chadha at GPO Box: 2294, New Baneshwor, Kathmandu, Nepal Fax: (977-1) 4782100, Email: editorial@vow.com.np All advertising enquiries should be sent to Charu Chadha at GPO Box: 2294, New Baneshwor, Kathmandu, Nepal Tel: 4780450, Fax: (977-1) 4782100, Email: marketing@vow.com.np Pokhara Office : Pokhara, Naya Bazar Tel: 061-538913, Mobile: 9856026572 is published monthly from Kathmandu, Nepal by Speciality Media Pvt. Ltd., GPO Box: 2294, New Baneshwor, Kathmandu, Nepal. Tel: 4780450, Fax: (977-1) 4782100, Email: vow@vow.com.np VOW
The contents of this publication may not be published in any form whatsoever, without the prior written consent of the publishers. All materials©vow. A note to readers The views expressed in articles are the authors’ and not necessarily those of VOW. Authors may have consulting or other business relationships with the companies they discuss. While every precaution is taken, no responsibility is assumed for the return of unsolicited material. All opinions expressed herein are those of the writers and do not necessarily reflect on the publisher. The contents may not be reproduced in any form without the prior consent of the publisher. All rights reserved. Publisher – Speciality Media Pvt Ltd CDO Regd. No 33/061/62 Printed by Jagadamba Press Pvt Ltd Tel : 5250017, 5250027(Fax) Pre-press (CtVP) by BiG CtP House Pvt Ltd Tel : 4036219 Distributor: Kasthamandap Distributor
Designers - Ajit Sharma, Sudin K Shrestha
Photography Photographers - Nibendra Pradhananga Sanu Raja Maharjan, Shankar Bir Byanjankar
Marketing Assistant Manager - Budhi Katel Senior Executive - Binod Thapa Executive - Abhishek Bhakta Shrestha Marketing Assistant - Insan Dheke
Subscription & Distribution Manager - Raju Singh Bajiko Executives - Radhya Shyam Gambanjar, Rakesh Prajapati
Support team Chief Accountant - Birendra Dhoj Shrestha Executive-Accounts - Jaya Prakash Shrestha Editorial Secretary - Abish Bhattarai Secretary Administration - Alisha Shakya
Belated Happy Mother’s Day!
Whenever I go through the pages of VOW I feel pompous for being born a girl. Reading the success stories of women from various fields takes my pride to a different level. VOW has always been a guide to us. We can say that it’s our second “Mommy”. It has all the solutions that a daughter can get from her mother. It has bit of emotion and bit of happiness that every mother-daughter relationship has. This magazine is so close to my heart that I wait for its arrival as eagerly as I would wait for my mother when she is out of town. Nevertheless, I want to say this to VOW—since I started to read you, I have got another mother and ever since I have started respecting you. Wish you a belated happy mother’s day, VOW! – Devika Biswas, Satdobato
VOW is the voice that every man should listen to
I was going through your magazine as usual as I do every possible month. One of my friends asked me why I always read VOW as it is for women. Why can’t I? It does not say “only for women”. It is titled ‘VOICE OF WOMEN’, the voice that every man should listen to. So my spontaneous answer was that everyone should read it… I don’t think I said something wrong, did I?
I want to learn things a woman should know in her daily life and in that sense help my partner. And for that I do not have to wander around as VOW is a complete package. I have however, in a joking manner told my friends that I will suggest VOW that you should also have a VOM (Voice Of Men). Well, maybe in the future? – Sandes Gurung, via email
VOW, you read my mind!
The reason why VOW is my favourite magazine is because I think we share a telepathy. Every month there is at least one article that is clearly attached to my present situation. Charu didi’s column is incredible and charges me every now and then. Many articles have helped me, and I find myself following it. My relationship with my best friend which was crumbling, healed. I felt no bounds of happiness All letters on this page recieve a gift hamper from Foot Fetish, foot and body treatment. Tel : 4700701
getting back together like we used to be. We enjoyed pampering our feet together applying the home made scrubs. The March issue that marked the women’s day special with Sanyukta Timsina on the cover was absolutely fabulous! I loved how colourful it was and the rest of the features were awesome as well! VOW magazine has played a very important role in helping me become a bold and a beautiful girl. I turn to VOW to keep myself updated and look for inspiration time and again. A wise mind always has something to learn, so I will only say ‘Keep the light on.’ – Srijana Shrestha, via email
Beauty lies within VOW
I am a teenage girl from a middle class family. I am average looking, but as every girl wishes, even I want to look different from others. I was really in need of a bold make-over but I was running out of pocket money. All thanks to VOW, while I was going through the pages of May issue, suddenly my eyes got glued to the Lakme Makeup Tips. I got some really helpful tips on how we can look bold and beautiful easily at home without much cost… I am glad to say that I got an all new bold look just because of VOW. Not only that, your magazine has many other beauty tips pages that are very much beneficial for young girls like me. – Samita Sharma, via email
The best letter on this page has won a Meal Voucher for two (excluding beverages) at Krishnarpan, a speciality Nepali restaurant at Hotel Dwarika’s.
My Cup of
Tea
Come host our next session of
My Cup of Tea Tell us what you want to talk about & who you’d like to invite.
Let’s discuss issues, exchange notes or
simply gossip send us an e-mail at editorial@vow.com.np
Please collect your gift from the VOW office, New Baneshwor Tel: 4780394 subscribe online: www.vownepal.com | VOW | 17
Date: 19 May Participants Gopal Chitrakar, Freelance Photographer; Artist Prabin Bikram Rana, Deputy Director, Alliance Francaise Jen Shrestha, Director, NB Group Mahendra Khanal, Principal, Kanjirowa National School
of my life…
wn Nostalgia. To lose ourselves do but ng thi the memory lane… to do no s of our reminisce over happy episode de us past… to laugh about what ma de us cry then, or cry about what ma aren't laugh. Memories are magical, ocent they? Recollections from an inn nce and childhood, rebellious adolesce always adventurous youth can almost brighten a dull day. We invited four dynamic time individuals to journey back in ars of and share with us the best ye their life!
18 | VOW | june 2011
Gopal Chitrakar I have always been a happy person, finding reasons to celebrate life. I don't have big expectations—I am happy to talk to my friends, play golf and keep myself occupied with work. And I would say that I am satisfied with this particular stage of my life. Well, 2007 was the year in which my daughter got married and that moment both I and my wife felt proud as parents. The preparations that we made for the wedding, the dreams that I would say the best we held for the bright future of our daughter… years of my life were everything that happened that year makes 2007 one of the most memorable years of my life. those eight years But of course, I would say the best years of my that I literally spent life were those eight years that I literally spent pursuing my wife. pursuing my wife, who was then my girlfriend. We were not facilitated with modern-day communication technologies and we had to meet in person to communicate. Despite the uncertainty of whether or not we would actually meet, I would go around at possible junctions, sometimes just to catch a glimpse of her. At times, I would have to wait for hours and hours just to talk to her for a few minutes. But I never had any complaints… those years were filled with love, compassion, excitement, and everything good… Now if you ask me if I want to relive any of my past years, I would say that I would love to be a teenager simply for the fact that I had an abundant supply of energy then. I presume I could achieve so much more if I had that energy now. However, there are certain things I would like to do again—for instance, taking the SLC exams! You know I had flunked in SLC on my first attempt. First, studies never interested me, and second, I was too busy helping my mom making chapattis for the eatery that my parents owned. After passing SLC on the second attempt, I thought I would just quit studies, but I should credit my wife for giving me that boost to study higher. I learnt that she had confided to one of her friends that she was not sure whether she should even be going out with me as I wanted to quit studying. There was no way I could lose my girl, so education then appeared in my list of priorities. So yeah, I would love to relive the SLC days and put all my efforts into it.
Prabin Bikram Rana
I will not be particular and single out a year or years as being the best. For me, it is more about certain moments in my life that make me feel happy and proud. For example, I was just 16 when I started working. I was the research assistant for Dr Tirthaman Shrestha, professor of TU, who was a zoologist. He was doing his research on the dolphins and I used to type out whatever he'd written. I am sure my So I became financially independent at an early age, and I was definitely proud that I didn't have to bother best years are my parents for money. Maturity seeped earlier in me yet to come. and my parents trusted in my ability to make decisions for myself. I guess that was the period that has shaped me to be the man I am today. In the meantime, I started studying French while also doing my commerce studies side by side. It so happened that because my mind was fully consumed with learning French, I failed in Accounts, and then I decided that I had to excel in French. Fortunately, I was awarded with a scholarship that took me to France for five years. I had a great experience—I met people from different countries, travelled to new places, and learnt many new things. Today, I am the only recognised translator by the French and the Nepali governments. Right now, my priority is my family, my two-year-old son. He doesn't yet speak but I feel I can understand gestures that are uniquely his. I hope to be a good father and teach him valuable lessons that will make him a good man. I am also working on being a better man each day, contributing towards the goodness of the community. I am sure my best years are yet to come.
subscribe online: www.vownepal.com | VOW | 19
Jen Shrestha I feel the best years of my life are yet to come because I have just turned 31 and I have so many things to do, so many things to learn and experiences to earn. However, I would say that 2009 was a great year for me as I got to see happiness twinkle Life is in the eyes of my father, who has always worked for the happening welfare of cancer patients, on becoming the chief of right now. Cancer Relief Society. I also consider 2011 a lucky year because I got married and was awarded the Rashtriya Nagarik Sammaan by Nepal Youth Society the same year for my contribution towards Nepal's social sector. Thirdly, I was elected as the youngest executive member of FNCCI recently. So yeah, life is happening right now. Of course my teen years were full of fun, excitement, adventure… but even amidst all that, in the back of my mind, I always knew I had to work hard and get good grades too. I wouldn't say I was a brilliant student, but I was very popular among my teachers because I knew exactly how to deal with each of them. Everything was fun back then, but looking back at my teen years, I had never realised then that those days would mean so much to me when I grow up. I just went with the flow, like I guess everyone does, without even thinking what I was living then would make the best years of my life. Had I known then, may be I would have had more fun and made my school days more memorable. I have no qualms about growing up because I have experienced that with age comes wisdom, but if I had an opportunity to relive the best years of my life, I would definitely go for my school days! Those were the best years of my life, but I do believe that the upcoming years too will mean a lot to me, and may be 10 years down the line I will have many things to share about why post 2011 were the best years of my life…
Mahendra Khanal
The best years of my life were my school days at Budhanilkantha. Reminiscing the time spent there makes me nostalgic—the school's scenic beauty, the diverse culture, and the leadership qualities that the school instilled in us… I made many friends back then. It was an opportunity to learn a lot of things from my peers. However, amongst all these, what I most fondly remember is when one fine evening the school's head teacher called me and said, "Mahendra, we are planning to appoint you as the school's head boy." You I motivate myself to know, I was already very proud for having been chosen under Budhanilkantha's scheme think out of the box of including deserving students from all the and be innovative 75 districts of Nepal. So, the proposal of me each day so that I becoming the head boy of the school just left can create memories me overwhelmed with pride and happiness. It to look back at when was a big achievement. I continued to learn and I am really old. share my knowledge ever since. Even now, my friends and colleagues tell me that the school reflects in my personality. Later, I also thoroughly enjoyed my days in the UK where I went to pursue my postgraduate degree. When I was living those days, I never thought it would mean so much to me later in life… like now. I still anticipate good years ahead, and I motivate myself to think out of the box and be innovative each day so that I can create memories to look back at when I am really old and say, "This is what I did during my 40s or 50s…" I have been teaching for many years now, and because I was a little raw when I started out, I believe that I would have been one of the best teachers in the country only if I had the experience and exposure that I have today. I would most certainly like to relive that period when I started teaching. In the coming days, I anticipate making my school very child friendly so that every student walks in to realise that it’s the school they've always dreamt of attending. Text» Poonam, Samridhi, Pramila Photos» Shankar Bir Byanjankar 20 | VOW | june 2011
i spy he's got the look!
those were the days my friend
doctor's day out
Yogendra Sakya
Siddhant Pandey
strangleeeeeeeee
Neil Pande
Aditi Shrestha and Raveena Desraj Shrestha
leading the style brigade
ŠVOW photofile/CC/SL/NP/SRM/SB
oink!
we love to do the wild thing too Rajendra Sharma and Sandesh Palungwa Limbu
Ranjit Acharya
Jenisha Moktan and Samriddhi Rai
mero nepal
gotchha
Suman Joshi and Neeraz Koirala
brothers in arms
music for change
Anil Shah
rhythm of life Yogeshwar Amatya
Nima Rumba and Avinash Ghising
my cup of tea
Abhaya Subba with a member of the audience
SSP Shailendra Khanal and Ashok Palikhe among friends
lens talk
flying high
celebrating womanhood Nisha Adhikary and Hricha Thapa
Rachana Gurung Sharma & Renchin Yonjan
honouring lost lives
Samyukta, Sadichha and Sahana
changemakers
Nepal Unites
Santosh Shah and Bikas Rauniar
ho ra!!!
Dolly Singh with Rati Shah and Mukunda Malla
A mermaid’s guide to great
skin-care... Sometimes, nothing feels better than a cool dip in a pool on a hot day. But while swimming is therapeutic for the mind and the heart, it is not always best for your skin. Whether you swim in a chemically treated pool, a salty ocean, a pond or a lake, there are steps you can take to ensure that your skin remains healthy and hydrated.
Protect yourself from UV rays:
Apply waterproof sunscreen with at least SPF 15 or above, before and after swimming. The sunscreen product should be sweat-free, oil-free and offer all-day protection. Sunscreen lotions that contain vitamins A, C and E will help in keeping your skin moisturised. Make sure to apply the sunscreen lotion evenly on all exposed parts of your body. Always follow the product’s label for recommended applications. Try using body washes that has petroleum, glycerine or mild cleanser with lukewarm water to help your skin moisturise and hydrate.
Rinse off:
When you get out of the water, rinse off. Most public pools are treated with chlorine, and chlorine can be a health hazard, not just to your skin but to your lungs as well.
Moisturise your skin:
Swimming pools are routinely treated with chlorine to kill bacteria to keep you free of infection, but the chemical can contribute to skin dryness. Applying a
lotion or cream-based moisturiser to your skin after a post-swim shower can remedy the dryness over time. Over-the-counter products are sufficient for most cases of chlorine-induced dryness. If your skin continues to be irritated after swimming or if you develop flaky patches, contact your doctor to discuss treatment options.
Purify the skin:
Drinking plenty of water helps in purifying your skin. It replenishes the moisture you have lost through sun exposure, and flushes out toxins, of which chlorine may be one. The skin is more likely to feel rough and dry if you are dehydrated. Your skin will stay healthier when you are hydrated from the inside.
Use soap and warm water:
Showering and washing your body with soap and warm water is a skin-care ‘must’ after swimming as chlorine bonds to your skin. Also, make it a point to wash your swimsuit with soap to avoid irritations the next time you put it on.
Happy
swimming!
The trend of nude or minimalist makeup is big right now. It is also perfect for the summers where one wants to look pretty, but not overdone. Looking at pictures splashed across magazines, you may decide that the nude look requires less or no makeup. However, the opposite is true. To achieve that flawless nude look, you require makeup as well as skill. While it may be difficult initially, it is not impossible. Following these simple tips you will be closer to attaining that fresh look.
Q&A BEAUTY
I am a 22-year-old girl, and I am really in a dilemma to choose the best cream for my face. Currently I am using Olay Complete UV All day Moisturiser with SPF 15. Is it good? – Shubh Shrestha Since it is summer now, the moisturiser you are using is perfectly fine. It depends on the skin type you have though. If you have really dry skin, use a cream that has Vitamin C which will cover your dryness, and in case it’s oily, use a water based moisturiser. I would recommend that you use a higher SPF since the weather at present can make your skin really dry. Also the chance of getting pigmentation is very high without sufficient SPF. I hope my suggestion will help you choose the moisturiser your skin needs. If you have further queries, do contact me.
NUDE MAKEUP THE DO’S AND DON’TS
It is pertinent to remember that nude makeup looks best on skin that is flawless and glowing. So a concealer is going to be your best friend here. Nude makeup is about having a fresh face, nude glossy lips and smoky eyes. The key factor is that your lips should look natural. Colour should be kept to a minimum. Just add a coat of light coloured gloss. For your eyes, line it with a black eyeliner and two coats of mascara. Voila!! You are ready to go. • • • • • •
You will need:
Concealer Lip balm A lip gloss with a slight tinge of pink or peach Black eyeliner Mascara Either a tinted moisturiser or a foundation that is light in texture and transparent with a powdery finish.
DO
• Use a suitable foundation. • Use a concealer. • Use lengthening mascara to enrich your eyelashes against dark circles. • Use a cream or beige eye shadow in a shade close to your skin’s natural one. • Remember to cleanse and moisturise your skin before starting. • Try tinted moisturiser instead of regular foundation. • Remember to use products as close to your skin tone as possible.
DON’T
DOLLY SINGH, proprietor of Dolly’s Exquisite Creations, will answer all your beauty and makeup queries. Email your questions to Contact her at 4445080.
• Use too many colours. Stick to the neutrals, like beige, peach and rose. • Overdo on concealer as it will highlight that part of the face. • Dab too much concealer on your lips. It will only make it look untidy. • Use too pale a shade as you will end up looking ghostly. • Forget that minimum is the way to go for nude makeup. • Think that this look calls for special cosmetics. All you need to do is choose colours that match your skin tone.
Hair colouring
The right way to do it...
Coloured hair requires extra care and nurture. For those who love experimenting with colour, it is imperative that you know how to pamper your coloured hair to ensure that it stays healthy. The healthier your hair, the longer the colour will last. So while you try different colours, it is wise to preserve the intensity of the colour and maintain the smoothness of your hair. VOW shares with you some pre and post-colouring tips to make your hair look gorgeous and beautiful, just the way you want it to be. Here’s how:
Pre-colouring hair care
• Wash your hair to remove all pollutants. Do not condition or use a shampoo-cum-conditioner mixture. The conditioner will interfere with the hair colour bonding to your hair. • Get a trim as this makes your hair more manageable and removes the worst of your split ends. Getting rid of unruly hair will make the colour look better. • Let your hair breathe free of frequent chemicals. If you want to perm or straighten your locks, make sure you wait for two weeks at least before you apply colour.
Post-colouring hair care
• Once coloured, cut the dead ends from your colour-treated hair once a month. • Use shampoo that is meant for coloured hair. Such shampoos do not strip away the natural moisture from your hair, while regular shampoos do. It also keeps the colour soft and fresh looking. • Oil, wash, and condition your hair at least twice a week so that it remains clean; it also prevents the hair from getting dry. • Do not blow-dry your hair using the hot setting. Use the cool setting or the low heat setting instead or try drying it naturally. • Coloured hair tends to be more brittle and soft, which is why you should not comb it when it is wet. Remove the tangles slowly with your fingers or use a wide-toothed comb. • Use a leave-in conditioner instead of the type that washes out. Leave-in conditioners offer manageability all day long, and as most of these contain sunscreen, they protect your hair from the harsh UV rays too. • Chlorine can cause a lot of damage, so avoid swimming for a few weeks after you colour your hair. If you must, make sure you use a swimming cap and that you condition your hair before entering the pool. • You should try to wash your hair once every other day, rather than every day. This will help your colour stay much longer without drying out your scalp. • Stay away from curling irons. The heat will destroy your hair. If you want to curl your tresses, you should use curlers and allow your hair to dry naturally. Then remove the curlers.
child care
Give your child lots of free time just to play:
While structured time and extracurricular activities are important, it is also equally important to give your children unstructured playtime so that they have room to just be creative with their play.
Praise the p rocess, not the product:
Hey parents, no thought control !
When you celebrate the joy of your child’s finger-painting and drawing or just playing a good game of tennis irrespective of the result, you make the process rewarding instead of the end result.
Here’s how to let your child’s creative talents bloom...
It doesn’t matter where you go as long as it’s something that you do together. Make that a regular part of your life and both of you will find yourselves being more creative!
Parenting your child in this 21st century is a big opportunity to discover your child’s true potential early on and to egg her to pursue her area of interest up to the point of excellence. However, the discovery itself is just the beginning of the journey where you ensure that your child gets the chance to hone her talent. And how do you as a parent polish these rough-cut diamonds? Here’s how...
Ask your child questions:
Leaping from small beginnings to giant ones
Pay attention:
Before you got yourself committed in a defined relationship like marriage, did you catch yourself thinking if only you had pursued your interest in tennis? Or if only you had continued with those guitar lessons, or pursued your hobby of writing? While many of you may by design find your true calling, others may just chance upon what they are most passionate about. Now, as parents however, you have the opportunity (once again) to help your young ones discover their passion/genius early on and then help them pursue this to the point of excellence.
Creating opportunities for excellence
To recognise and encourage the unusual in your child, here are some tips to get you started:
30 | VOW | june march 2011 2011
Encourage exploration and curiosity:
Let your kids play with the old digital camera, teach them how to do some basic design stuff on the computer or let them putt a hole while you go golfing during the weekend. In short, inculcate her interest in a fun way.
Take your kids to art and cultural events:
Ask her what she thinks about life. When she asks you why the sky is blue, ask her what she thinks about it first. This gives kids the chance to use their imagination.
Tell stories:
Don’t just read them books, but tell stories to them off the top of your head so that your kids will learn that they can do this too. Also, story-telling is a great way to introduce new concepts to your kids in an interesting manner.
Give your child choices:
One of the benefits of doing so is that the child learns that there are many options in life and that it’s okay to choose one and see what happens. As it is important for your children to listen to you, it is equally important for you to listen to your children when they are saying or showing you something. Sometimes, parents dismiss things that they don’t realise are truly unique like the mud hut their child made in the garden or a great shot she played in the tennis court.
Encourage your children to dream:
Children’s dreams often change from minute to minute, right from being an astronaut to being an actor or an artist. If your child is drawn to art, he or she will probably go on to become a successful artist with your help and encouragement. Let your kids dream. It’s going to be a while before they have to figure out what they want to do with their lives anyway.
hold my hand How can I change him back... I am in a relationship with my c l a s s m a te s i n c e l a s t ye a r. O u r relationship worked well for eight months but since then we are having problems. There are many problems in his family and he says that it is the reason why he has changed. He is rude to me nowadays, does not give me time, does not share anything with me and simply says I don’t need to worry about his problems. Whenever I try to make him feel better he says, “My family is there to do things for me, you do not need to worry about it.” On top of it all he makes me feel as if I do not matter to him… I am nothing for him. I know he is just showing off, as he often gets annoyed when I talk to other men. I am just 17 and I wonder how I can spend the rest of my life with him if he just continues this way. The problems in his life never seem to go away. Can problems in life really make one change this way? How can I change him back when he simply tries to stay away from me? How should I show him that I am not leaving him no matter how big the problems are? I try telling him but he does not believe me at all. I cannot consider my life without him. I know he loves me but why does he treat me like this? I never get answers when I ask these questions. Is it that he wants me to forget him because he does not want me to suffer at the hands of his family? He sometimes seems to mean this. What should I do? – name withheld Take a moment, breathe… think of all the beautiful things in your life, all your dreams, your goals and your aspirations. At 17, life is just beginning and you have so much to do, experience and enjoy. Don’t take things too seriously; don’t focus on just one aspect of your life and make yourself miserable. At your age, you should be enjoying making friends, meeting new people and building new relationships. 32 | VOW | june 2011
Shalini Wadhwa
The guy you are dating could really be having problems at home, and you must remember that each person has a dif ferent way of reacting to situations—perhaps he needs privacy to be able to internally understand and resolve his issues. You need to understand and respect that. We are certain that he is aware that you will be there for him should he need you. But nagging him, adding emotional burden by complaining and fretting constantly are only going to take him further away from you. You have also mentioned that he has changed towards you. Maybe you need to look at your behaviour more closely too. There’s always a possibility that he is just going through a difficult phase. But it is equally likely that maybe you are being too demanding on him. He should be pretty much your age as you are classmates… and guys his age are usually out having fun with the boys, or doing stuff by themselves whether it is sports, music or just hanging out with pals. Step back a little and give him space. Another sentence that caught our attention was—”I wonder how I can spend the rest of my life with him if he just continues this way…” You are way too young to be looking for a commitment like this from a guy your own age. You both have your education to complete, careers to start, experiences to gain. He is simply looking for some breathing space in your relationship, and while this truth may hurt you now, you will eventually realise the importance of individuality and independence in the coming years. He doesn’t love you or like you less, but
Charu Chadha
he is being intimidated by the intensity you are bringing into this relationship. Enjoy each other, help each other grow… and who knows where the years will take you. Don’t be hard on yourself either… you seem to be a sensitive and caring person, but sometimes it’s important to allow others to fight their own battles, just the way you would want for yourself. Take care.
I am not yet ready for marriage I am 23 years old, still in college completing my last year. Currently I am also employed in a low ranking organisation. I was in a relationship with a guy who cheated on me, and that has been the most horrible story of my life. I am single since the past year and a half. The problem is that my family, especially my sister who is already married, are insisting that I get married. Most of my friends are already married and seem to be happy as well. But, the truth is, my family background is not very strong: My mom is a single parent—divorced from my father who is no more. Due to this reason I do not have a citizenship certificate despite fulfilling all the required documents. I have a birth certificate and the death certificate of my father as well. But since my mom neither has her marriage certificate nor a citizenship certificate issued under my dad’s name, I have been denied my citizenship rights. Due to this I am compelled to work in an inferior organisation, in a lower position. My family is forcing me to get married also due to these reasons… but my past scares me from getting into a new relationship. It doesn’t mean that
I will not get married at all, but I need some time. I want to heal myself and feel happy as a single woman again. I am even waiting for the right guy who will not betray me. Yes, some guys are proposing but I do not have any feelings towards them. The other thing is that I am not comfortable with having an arranged marriage. Additionally, I want to make my career too. But my sister says that unless I have a citizenship I cannot move anywhere in my career… and for this I have to marry. She even said that I should at least have a boyfriend if I am not ready for arranged married. She knows all about my past, yet she doesn’t understand my pain. Getting into a relationship or marriage is not a game… it’s not like I am entering a store to buy food items. I do not want to have the same life story as my mom with a future submerged in darkness. Please tell me what to do. Am I right or not? Is marrying so essential? I feel that it is more important to know your life partner first. Please help me. - Rajya Laxmi First things first, marriage is a lifetime commitment of love and respect… it is not something you can use as a transaction or something that will help you get ahead in your professional life. You need to consult a good lawyer for your citizenship certificate. We would recommend that you consult with FWLD (Tel: 4242683, 4266415) and take proper course of action. Things are difficult to get done in Nepal and our laws and systems are not entirely helpful, but one step will lead to another and another, and soon enough you will meet with success. If you feel that you are not ready for marriage then you most certainly are not. Don’t dwell on this too much… about what’s right and what’s wrong… what will benefit your future and what will not. Just strengthen your mind to be more positive, focused and goal oriented. Learn to be happy and true to yourself. Your sister chose her own path and while she means well for you, perhaps she needs to understand that you are different and you would like to do things your way. She needs to respect your individuality, thoughts and decisions. Don’t allow the past to scar your present and future. Good and bad things happen to both good and bad people… you just need to accept that and move on with your life with no regrets or bitterness. As for working in a low ranking organisation and in a low position—there is no such thing as anything being “low”. You should be glad that you have a job and the fact that you also have the choice of doing better tomorrow. Be thankful for all the little blessings in your life. Yes, it can be frustrating that you do not have the requisite legal documents to acquire better opportunities, but remember this is just a passing phase. Meanwhile, focus on learning, developing and growing as a person. There are better days and better opportunities coming your way… just ensure that you remain a good and positive person to attract all the goodness into your life. Take care. Send your questions to editorial@vow.com.np
subscribe online: www.vownepal.com | VOW | 33
male menu
man-woman relationship, what counts as cheating for you?
In a
No relationship is untouched by possessiveness and jealousy. Period. However, the magnitude of these emotions may vary from one person to another. Some of us are possessive to the extreme, feeling slighted when our better halves even talk to someone of the opposite sex, while some of us are quite understanding and don’t make issues on why s/he looked at the hottie who just passed by. Similarly, for some of us cheating would mean something as simple as telling how good looking someone other than our own partner is, while for others cheating is a heavy word and would me having an affair while in a committed relationship. We asked a few men, what counts as cheating for them. Read on...
Dil Bhusan Pathak
Executive Director, Interface Nepal Cheating to me would mean having negative emotions in a relationship and this negativity determines the degree of cheating. Besides having other relations with other persons without your partner’s knowledge, cheating to me would also mean lack of interest to spend time together, lack of commitment to be involved in activities together, not sharing responsibilities and also failing to communicate each other’s feeling, leading to a lot of misunderstandings, mistrust and suspicion. I must say here that I have been fortunate that, despite the debates, discussions and silence, cheating is something out of my vocabulary, and it’s something I always pray will stay out of our relationship.
Narendra Shrestha Deputy Photo Editor, Kantipur Daily When we are committed to a person, whether bound by matrimony or not, being faithful is very important. For me what constitutes as cheating is the very obvious extramarital affair. Of course there will be times when lack of communication and misunderstandings will create problems. But there is nothing that cannot be solved. Personally, I would not be narrow-minded and upset if she talks to her friends or colleagues. We understand each other and our profession. I am a photo journalist and I have to be on the field a lot. I work with many women reporters and often I have to give them rides to events. There are chances that our relatives might see me and get the wrong idea. However, my partner understands that there is nothing wrong and that no cheating business is ensuing here. We should never misuse the trust that has been placed in us.
34 | VOW | june 2011
Ujwal Thapa
Entrepreneur; Writer, whynepal.com When you lie about your nature of relationship with someone else, that is cheating. If you know that your partner objects to you having a physical or emotional relationship with someone else but you still do it then that’s cheating. Even if s/he never finds out. Therefore, it is essential that you are frank about your needs and your flaws with your partner at every moment of your relationship. If you feel that your partner can’t meet your needs, talk about it. There is always a solution.
Shekhar Golchha
Executive Director, Golchha Organisation
By definition, cheating implies a man/woman in a relationship involved with a person of opposite sex (sometimes same too!!) outside the moral parameters of a relationship. Sounds complicated? My advise to guys who cheat—be smart, don’t get caught!
Niroj Lama
Director, Jasmine Fitness Club and Spa I think it depends from one individual to another. Personally I believe in being faithful and staying true to my wife. We both have male and female friends and we are both cool with that. If you are happy in your relationship nothing and no one can make you go astray. Such situations should not arise and if it does, there should be a limit that should not be crossed. While freedom in a relationship is necessary, deep understanding is also inevitable. And I would label it “cheating” when that freedom is misused and understanding is crushed. Text» Pramila Rai Photos» Nibendra Pradhananga
subscribe online: www.vownepal.com | VOW | 35
relationship
Is once a cheater, always a cheater? Is it a good idea to forgive a cheating partner?
Researches have shown that in a marriage, cheating is relatively common where 22 percent of men and 13 percent of women CHEAT! Over the years, studies have also discovered that spouses who described themselves ‘happy’ with their marriage have affairs! This is a harsh reality and no wonder you will feel devastated if you were to find out that you’ve been cheated on… it is like being kicked in the gut or worse. Cheating creates so much heartache and pain... and loss of self esteem and confusion too. There will be moments when you want to take your cheating partner back but at the same time you may also feel like you can never really forgive him/her. You may experience feeling trapped in an anguished crossroad with questions undoubtedly looming in your head like: Is the cheater going to cheat again? Should you trust him/ her again? Is it true that “Once a cheater is always a cheater?” and so forth…
Some signs that show someone will not cheat again
Whatever issue is on your mind, studies have confirmed that if you have a decent chemistry in your relationship, you and your partner can actually work through the crisis of affairs. By doing so, your relationship will become more intimate and both of you can put an end to cheating once and for all. Therefore, “Once a cheater, always a cheater” is not entirely true because aftermaths of cheating leads people to learn and grow from the painful emotional hurricane and the loss of closeness in the relationship. Here are five signs that indicate your cheater is not a chronic case and that you and him still have hope: • Your partner is truly remorseful and regrets having cheated. Look for heartfelt apologies that ring true when you hear them. • Your partner cuts off contact with his or her lover. • The cheater shows a renewed appreciation and devotion towards you. • You wind up having deep, open and honest conversations with each other about your relationship, what was
36 | VOW | june 2011
Rajani Kayastha,
cer, UNDP
Singer/Monitoring and Evaluation Offi
ner se that they have cheated on their part People make mistakes and if they do reali that ve belie also I ts. ge his/her cheating habi and feel sorry, the cheater can chan has feels really sorry for the mistake s/he s/he n whe and ct no individual is perfe k that thin I t. wha er matt no her him/ pt acce done then the partner should forgive, in this his/her weaknesses. So I don’t believe is how you can love your partner with cheater thing! saying that once a cheater, always a
Max Khatri,
Managing Director, The Factory
I have pretty much heard a lot of similar kinds of proverbs and it is not a big realisation that time changes and everything with it. So I believe that people and their habits change too. However, for some it could be a character issue, while for many of us it is a curiosity and cheating happens when we are looking for somethin g which is not there in our lives and I also think that the best way to deal with it is to admit it! On a personal level I don’t agree with this proverb that once a cheater, always a cheater. And I definitely think that it differs from individual to individual.
missing in it and where you’d like to take it in the future. • Your partner wants to enter counselling either individually or with you to understand his/her own dynamics and to make your relationship better and more intimate.
Signs of a constant cheater
On the contrary, there are players or sex addicts who will cheat and cheat and cheat again. These are the ones you truly have to watch out for if you are in a fresh relationship. So how do you tell if you are dealing with a constant cheater? Here are some common signs: • S/he’s working late a lot. • S/he’s suddenly taking trips you can’t go on. • S/he’s got new hobbies that don’t include you. • Mysterious phone calls with hangups.
• Credit card bills for unexplained hotel stays or gift-type items. • Less sex. • S/he’s more distant, angry or picky. If you find your partner is cheating on you again and again, it’s time to protect yourself from further heartbreak by breaking up with this person. Just remember that there are wonderful individuals waiting to date you!
Note:
If your partner strays, it doesn’t absolutely mean s/he will do it again. Once a cheater, always a cheater isn’t necessarily true. Forgiveness and a new coming together are possible. If you have been betrayed but want to see if it can work, just stay heads up for a while and see which way the train is heading!
Being a
perfectionist
may not be a perfect idea! Are you a perfectionist? Do you spend a lot of time ‘perfecting’ your work so that everything turns out the way you want it to? May be all of us are perfectionists in our own right. We set certain bars for ourselves and put our best foot forward to achieve them. We dedicate attention and time to maintain our personal standards. In fact, the passion for excellence in a perfectionist drives him/her to run the extra mile, never stopping and never relenting. However, there is also a flipside to being a perfectionist—it may not be such a perfect idea. Perfectionism, at its extreme, prevents us from being our best and may give rise to problems like: 1. Becoming less effective. If you get
stuck doing the little things because they seem like a good addition, without consciously thinking whether they are really necessary, then it will make you less effective. Sometimes, not only do the ‘additions add no value, they might even ruin things. For example, over-cluttering a presentation with unnecessary details.
2. Procrastination as you wait for that ‘perfect’ moment. Our desire to
be perfect in everything makes us wait for the ever ‘perfect moment’ before we get to it. Sometimes, it becomes too late!
3. Missing the bigger picture. The
perfectionist may also get so hung up over current details and tasks that he or she forgets about working on the bigger picture.
38 | VOW | june 2011
These problems develop when the quest for perfection turns into an obsession, as the perfectionist refuses to accept anything less than perfect. Such perfectionists can be called “maladaptive perfectionists”. The answer lies in not stopping being a perfectionist, but to be conscious of our tendencies and manage them accordingly. We should want to be healthy perfectionists who are truly achieving personal excellence, not maladaptive perfectionists who sabotage his or her own personal growth efforts.
2. Focus on the outcome. High impact
Here are a few tips to become a healthy perfectionist:
4. Be okay with making mistakes.
1. Get a view of the bigger picture.
Analyse and study your long-term goals. What is the end objective? What is the desired output? Is what you are doing leading you to the overall vision?
activities are important. Ask yourself if what you are doing would make any real impact. If not, stop working on it and delegate it to someone else or do it quickly. Seek out high impact tasks and spend time on them instead.
3. Set a time limit. If you do not give
yourself any time limit, you will take forever to do it. Then the process of working towards your goals may get stagnant and boring after some time. Trying to achieve 100% perfection is highly ineffective as everyone tends to make mistakes. If you are busy perfecting one thing, you will forget about other important things. Learn to accept that mistakes happen and that then only can you grow faster by learning from them.
Q&A CAREER I am a 53-year-old woman. I have thoroughly dedicated more than 35 years in the field of education, handicrafts, and hospitality. For the past 10 years I have been working in the hospitality sector and I am considering retirement from my active work life this December due to my waning health, especially knee problems. I feel that I need some rest from this rush-hush life and I also want to spend quality time with my grandchildren. However, when I put my retirement issue before my siblings they were not too happy. They told me that I wouldn’t be happy without work and that I would just get depressed. Also because my husband died a year ago, I somewhat feel they maybe right too. I want to do something that’s not stressful. Please suggest. – Bina Mathema First of all, please accept my sympathies on your recent loss. I hope you are dealing with your grief in the best possible way. You and I seem to have a lot in common and I do understand the nature of your current predicament. Believe me, there is no real retirement—you must carry on as long as you feel fit and believe that the work you are doing is right and useful. It is important to spend time with your family and also take better care of your health. However, an old man once told me that his mind is active because his body is active and vice versa. Therefore it is vital that we keep both our minds and bodies active and healthy. As far as being stressed is concerned, it is all again in the mind. People can feel stressed about a simple thing like what to eat for breakfast so it is not about finding work that is not stressful but more importantly trying to avoid stress regardless of the kind of work you do. It is so fortunate that you are experienced in a variety of fields such as education, handicrafts and hospitality. I am sure you will find something worthwhile to do in one of these areas or it may be exciting to try out something new and innovative. Why don’t you explore the possibility of doing something different so that you feel motivated and enthusiastic? That way you will be able to gainfully utilise your time as well as feel good about whatever you choose to do. All the best!
Dr Niti Rana, professional
trainer and motivator and director of The New Era Career Development Institute, will answer all your career queries. Email your questions to editorial@vow.com.np Contact her at 4471957.
subscribe online: www.vownepal.com | VOW | 39
woman at work
S
trong, soft spoken and independent, Sapna Thapa, the founder director of Mother Care International Preschool, has dedicated more than two decades of her life into teaching, especially in Early Childhood Education (ECE). This energetic, busy, hardworking and down-to-earth educator shares with VOW her interesting career experiences… Share with us your childhood days. What were you like as a kid?
I grew up with a family who gave good education the highest priority. Although my paternal grandmother was not literate, she understood the value of education and made sure that my parents sent us to good schools. As a child, I was an avid reader; my father played a vital role in nurturing a profound love for books and stories in me since my early years. As a child, I was very curious, experimental and a little on the naughty side. I loved animals and brought home every stray dog, cat, pigeon or any other animal that I found. I still love them. I was a tomboy and climbed trees, played with marbles, catapults and all other games that boys played. However, I still liked to play with my girl friends and we played ‘house, shopping and teacher’.
Tell us about your education.
I studied in Loreto Convent Darjeeling, and then went on to St Joseph’s College. Then I took teachers’ training in Mount Hermon Teachers’ Training College in Darjeeling. Later I did my Diploma in Early Childhood Education from the Montessori International in the UK and then earned a postgraduate degree in the same subject from the University of Sheffield in the UK. Currently I am following my EdD (Doctor of Education/Early Childhood Education) from the same university. I still have a few more years until I receive my doctorate degree.
What influenced you into Montessori?
Before I answer this question, I would like to clarify a few things about ‘Montessori’ education. Here’s an excerpt 42 | VOW | june 2011
from one of my papers on early childhood education: The contribution made by Dr Maria Montessori (1870) towards early childhood education during the early 1900s, had its basis in including ‘socially deprived’ children with ‘learning difficulties’ into mainstream education. Her philosophy incorporated issues such as vertical age grouping and observation of the ‘sensitive periods’. She believed that all children were capable of learning as they were born with an absorbent mind that allowed them to learn through their senses; through repetition in a prepared environment. She designed a range of didactic apparatus to help children with learning difficulties. These children were then successfully integrated into mainstream education after a matter of just two years. Her methodology gained immense popularity in many parts of the world and many Montessori schools are still one of the sought after preschools for young children. In short, Maria Montessori devised a ‘methodology’ to work with young children using didactic apparatus. However, early childhood education embraces much more than just one method as each child is unique and has different learning styles. In Nepal, the term ‘Montessori’ is ambiguous and every one assumes that an early childhood centre is nothing but one that follows the Montessori method. I was trained to become a teacher in a regular school. It was only during the second half of my training that I chose early childhood (ages that incorporate 0-8 years; 0 meaning, from the time of conception). I specialised in this area of education and the philosophy of Dr Maria Montessori was part of my course besides many others
such as Susan Isaacs, Pestalozzi to name a few. Hence, it was not only the Montessori method that influenced me to pursue early childhood education, but the entirety of the philosophical and methodological aspects of other reformers as well. That is why, I do not want to be called a Montessorian, because I do not or cannot become a true Montessorian just by placing a few didactic apparatus in my school and using her methods for each and every child. Children are unique and each one has their own learning style so one method may not suit the other. An Indian author who has written several books on postcolonial early education expounds that culture and societal aspects are some of the intrinsic needs in understanding how children learn. Since Western ideologies and methods are scientifically proven to help children, they are more readily adapted in most of our preschools today. However, we seem to be unaware or unconcerned by the context in which they were created and hence force them on our children and into our culture. Therefore, I would rather follow the child’s learning style and adapt methods that are best suited for him/her rather than forcing the child to follow one particular method.
How did Mother Care International Preschool come up?
It came up because I could not work with anyone. No one believed in my ideas and philosophies about early childhood education then. So I decided to begin my own preschool.
Your inspiration?
My mother who always believed in me, my husband who has always trusted and supported my judgement… my children, who were often my experimental ‘guinea pigs’. Finally, my biggest inspiration was my father, who was one of the best teachers of his time.
What’s the current scenario of Early Childhood Education in Nepal?
Early Childhood Education is a fairly new concept in Nepal and I think we
You can never be taught to be a teacher; you have to feel it from within. Sapna Thapa Founder Director, Mother Care International Preschool
Educator!
Spreading have a long way to go till every parent becomes fully aware about the importance of giving the right experiences, creating a stimulating environment and supporting the child’s intrinsic needs during the first six years of life. Most parents believe in just making children learn the ABCs and 123s during the foundation years (0-6) when they could be guiding their children into developing several life skills, character and personality traits along with a number of good qualities such as leadership, analytical thinking and an inquisitive mind. Thus many such preschools bend under the tremendous pressure that parents put on them and succumb to adapting traditional methods of teaching little children to follow adult led activities in preparation for the next level. Today, the admission into grade one in prestigious schools has become a rat race and every preschool child is under pressure to meet the requirements of the entrance test. Hence, most preschools become mere ‘downward extensions’ of regular high schools. The concept of ‘holistic’ and ‘inclusive’ education is only on paper and young children suffer the consequences when their parents and teachers force them into the vicious competition to get admitted into grade one.
What are the most challenging aspects in this field?
Convincing parents that the early years are the foundation of the future and that children need to play to learn. Through play, children begin to make sense of how the world works, they learn to solve problems, become leaders and acquire so many other positive skills that will aid them throughout their lives.
And the rewarding aspects?
Watching little babies grow into sensible human beings. It is very rewarding to meet parents who have nothing to say but good things about the preschool and how well their child is doing now because of the foundation they were given. It is rewarding to see all my colleagues work hand in hand with me, equally passionate about their profession and so determined to bring change.
Can you recommend any good ECE books as an introduction for those of us who aren’t very familiar with ECE ideas?
You can get thousands of books. I would recommend some books that
Montessori wrote herself: • The Secret of the Child • The Discovery of the Child, and • The Absorbent Mind
Any advice to those interested in pursuing a career in this field?
You can never be taught to be a teacher; you have to feel it from within. You will be successful only if you enjoy what you do. If you do have this calling, get into the heart of the matter by getting a sound education in the subject rather than going for short term ‘crash courses’ or short term ‘teacher-training’. A good education in the field will provide you with the knowledge and the insight that will help you understand how children learn rather than what to teach them. Always keep in mind that children are not commodities, they are thriving human beings with fully functional brains.
Text» Evelyn Moktan Photos» Nibendra Pradhananga
subscribe online: www.vownepal.com | VOW | 43
Serious, funny, quirky, artistic to downright sensible, this year's list of eligible bachelors ranges from doctors, engineers, singers, sportsmen to an event planner. Here we introduce them to you with their thoughts on marriage, relationship, the wildest thing he's done to the first thing he notices in a woman. Read on...
Bikash Malla
In three words he’s: “Friendly, disciplined and hardworking.” In his spare time: “I listen to music. My favourites are The Edge and 1974 AD.” Three things no one knows about him: “I play almost all sports and I stood second in my commando training and I have six pack abs!” Something he cannot live without: “A cell phone.” Film that never bores him: “3 Idiots.” Fetish: “Watches and sunglasses!” One thing he is most afraid of losing: “My football career.” Always on a man’s mind: “Freedom.” If his woman were more successful than him: “I will be the happiest person because her success means my success at the end of the day.” First thing he notices in a woman: “Her eyes.” His ideal life partner should be: “Humble, understanding, loving and not possessive.” The most important value in a relationship: “Faith.” Metrosexuality is: “A waste of time.”
Age: 26 Profession: Goalkeeper, Nepal National Football team and Tribhuvan Army Club Star sign: Capricorn
Manoj Tripathi
Age: 28 Profession: Script Writer Star sign: Cancer
In his down time: “I enjoy playing guitar, composing songs and playing for my close friends. I also read.” His feminine side: “Being able to think like a woman and give life to her fictitious character via my words.” Best thing about being a bachelor is: “You can lust over women and still can tell this to your girlfriend.” Always on a man’s mind: “Lots of ‘S’es—security, status, superiority and well, that’s it!” He cannot live without: “Travelling, visiting my family, the internet... and of course, ELECTRICITY.” His first crush: “My school teacher when I was in standard two. Clichéd but true.” First thing he notices in a woman is: “Her positive attitude in life and chirpiness. It makes her company enjoyable!” Biggest turn off: “Bad dress sense, low IQ, and above all bad and off key voice while singing along with me.” Ideal life partner is: “A person who is compassionate of other’s problems, who believes in giving rather than taking, has a respect for life and living beings and above all, a God loving and fearing person.” Woman making the first move is: “The most attractive thing a woman could do… a total turn on.” Toughest question a woman asked him so far is: “Are we getting married? And I couldn’t tell her on her face that she was not the right person for me.” Women want: “Love, security and kids.” Beauty or brains: “A beautiful brain.” Sweet or sexy: “A mixture of both.” Marriage is: “The fuel in the journey of life. It can either make or break the journey.” 46 | VOW | june 2011
Manas Ghale Age: 27 Profession: Rapper, Nepsydaz Star sign: Libra
In three words he’s: “Cool, funny and humorous.” In his down time: “I like to take pictures, play snooker and jam up with friends.” One thing no one knows about him: “I am camera shy.” His childhood ambition was: “To become a chef.” He’s inspired by: “My mother because she’s a strong and hardworking woman.” His craziest dream is: “To be known by the next generation as the best Nepali rapper, something like the Narayan Gopal of Nepali hip-hop.” Films that never bore him: “Up in the smoke and Grudge.” First thing he notices in a woman: “Her body and her height.” Biggest turn on: “Dance moves.” Biggest turn off: “Body odour.” His ideal life partner should be: “Understanding, stand by me through the good and the bad times and who is fun to be with.” The toughest question a woman has asked him: “Names of my ex girlfriends.”
Dr Satish Gurung
Age: 32 Profession: Doctor (MBBS,MD) Star sign: Pisces
He will never forget: “During my childhood, after watching Superman, I tried to fly with a towel tied around my neck and ended up with five stitches on my forehead. I still have the scar, which I call my third eye!” Film that never bores him: “Invictus, it never fails to inspire me to do better in life." Women want: “A trustworthy, caring and protective man.”
In six words he is: “Hardworking, independent, tidy, imaginative, compassionate and devoted.” In his down time: “I play football, listen to music, swim and go for hikes.” Best things about being a bachelor: “Freedom, less responsibility and having not to worry about anything.”
First thing he notices in a woman: “Eyes and good skin.” Metrosexuality is: “Urban men with interest and knowledge on style, fashion and appearances, which I truly support and also advice others to accept.”
The most important value in a relationship: “Trust.” His ideal life partner should be: “Someone who can build a relationship that is based on love rather than make it a task, who is caring and most importantly someone whom I can trust completely to be by me for the rest of my life.” A female fashion no-no: “Boyfriend jeans.” His take on a woman making the first move: “In this modern world of equality between a man and a woman, she has the right to make every move.” Beauty or brains: “Beauty with brains.”
subscribe online: www.vownepal.com | VOW | 47
Swapnil Sharma
Age: 26 Profession: Singer – Lead vocalist, The Shadows Band Star Sign: Sagittarius In three words he’s: “Friendly, determined, imaginative” In his down time: “I love to travel and play football.”
Best things about being a bachelor: “I have more time to do the fun things that I want; I can invite my friends over to my place whenever I want to and clean my room whenever I feel like!” Four things no one knows about him: “I can sing classical very well since my base was in classical music, I worked as a child artiste in Radio Nepal, I have won the National Level School Music Competition and I have been a vegetarian for the last 10 years!” His craziest dream: “To share the stage with Steven Tyler one day.” Film that never bores him: “Hera Pheri. I have watched it more than 10 times and still it never fails to crack me up!” A colour he identifies with: “Black because I think I am at my most creative in the darkness.” Woman is: “A very strong power full of capabilities.” First thing he notices in a woman: “Long hair.” A female fashion no-no: “Too much makeup.” Biggest turn on: “Soft-spoken, expressive women.”
Parakram Singh Yonzon
Age: 30 Profession: Human Resource Consultant Star sign: Sagittarius
48 | VOW | june 2011
Keyur Krishna Shrestha
In three words he’s: “Spontaneous, impulsive and emotional.”
Age: 27 Profession: Managing Director, Bipassana International Star sign: Leo
In his down time: “I love to play football and go for hiking.” The best things about being a bachelor: “ Freedom, no cross questions and no time restrictions.” His childhood ambition: “To be an architect.” His craziest dream is: “To travel around the world like a hippie.” Film that never bores him: “Lord of the Rings.” Wildest thing he has ever done: “Last year on a whim I packed my bag and drove to Pokhara for a night, all by myself.” One thing he is most afraid of losing: “Confidence.” Always in a man’s mind: “Boy’s toys, and girls.” Woman is: “A part of who you are.” To impress a woman: “I would just be myself and if she is into football, invite her to watch a game with me.” Pouty lips or curvy hips: “Curvy hips.” First thing he notices: “The way she carries herself.” Biggest turn on: “Beautiful eyes.” His ideal life partner should be: “Passionate, caring and with a good head on her shoulders.” The most important value in a relationship: “Fidelity.”
In three words he’s: “Hard working, down to earth, and positive.” In his down time: “I play sports and enjoy nature photography.” Best things about being a bachelor: “I can work or lay in bed for 24 hours, I can travel without making any predetermined plans, and I can come home anytime I want.” Metrosexuality is: “A sign of urban modernity.” Three things noone knows about him: “I started to work when I was in grade seven, I tried to tame a pair of crabs when I was in my teens and I never carry a wallet.” Film that never bores him: “Stephen Chow’s Kung Fu Hustle.”
Life is: “About perseverance—falling down and learning to fly again.” The most important value in a relationship: “It is trust, feeling comfortable and stress-free about the relationship itself, as well as sharing a compatible sense of humour.” Woman is: “What complements and completes a man.” His ideal partner should be: “Loving, interesting, and compatible with me.” His first crush was: “My English teacher when I was in grade five!” Biggest turn off: “Chipped nail polish.”
Biggest turn on: “Good sense of humour.” Women making the first move: “A bonus!” For his perfect date he would: “Pack self-cooked food and a bottle of wine and take her for an hour of hiking or mountain biking somewhere overlooking Kathmandu valley.” Waiting for the right girl or the right time: “Right now, for the right time.” subscribe online: www.vownepal.com | VOW | 49
Eelum Dixit
Age: 25 Profession: Actor/Director Star sign: Leo
In three words he’s: “Hardworking, adventurous, flexible.” In his down time: “I like to listen to hip-hop and R&B, and love to travel.” Four things no one knows about him: “I quit smoking for internet, I was born and raised up in Sankhuwasabha, I used to be a rap artist and I joined a gym for six months to gain weight but it didn’t work out.” His craziest dream: “PartyNepal Outdoors at the Everest Base Camp.” Films that never bores him: “Matrix, X-Men and Fahrenheit 9/11.”
Paras Khadka
Age: 23 Profession: Captain, Nepal Cricket Team and Armed Police Force Star Sign: Scorpio
In his own words, he is: “Just another person who strives to be a better human being, who loves life and is driven by passion for his work.” In his spare time: “I watch football with my friends, play tennis, and shut the hell up for a while.” Best thing about being a bachelor is: “Well... what’s the best thing about being married? Hopefully things won’t change so much if it happens.” Cannot live without: “Creative space.” Most afraid of losing: “My head.” Perfect night date: “Apartment. Steak. And I’d be the one doing the cooking.”
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Chick traits he craves: “Personality, how she thinks, what her core beliefs are. I look into her eyes, and that’s where I can find if there’s any possibility of attraction.” Biggest turn off: “Accents that are forced and put on, and behaviour that is not genuine.” His take on woman making the first move: “Go for it.” The most important value in a relationship is: “Understanding.” Beauty or Brains: "Brains." About metrosexuality: “I hate shopping so much that I could never identify with a metrosexual – also, there’s so much to life, why spend your time looking in the mirror so often?”
Shree Gurung
Age: 28 Profession: Event Director, PartyNepal Star sign: Scorpio
One thing he is most afraid of losing: “Trust.” First thing he notices in a woman: “Beauty and physique.” Biggest turn on: “Confidence.” His ideal life partner should be: “Grounded and practical.” Women want: “A responsible and a caring man!” The most important value in a relationship: “Respect.” Metrosexuality is: “While I don’t really have any objections to it, I would not advocate it because I believe men have to be men.”
In his spare time, he: “I play sports—all sports, hang out with my friends, party and watch TV.” The best thing about being a bachelor: “You can do whatever you want!” Always on a man’s mind: “Women, money and gadgets.” His childhood ambition was: “To become a doctor but then I realised I could not stand the sight of blood so I shifted my base to architecture.” He’s most afraid of losing his: “Humility.” The first thing he notices about a woman: “Her beauty.” Biggest turn off: “Unnecessary attitude.” The most important value in a relationship is: “Trust and adjusting to each other’s flaws.” Cricket is: “What I am today! It is all because of cricket.” Marriage is: “A beautiful institution where two people date each other for the rest of their lives, willingly share things together and enjoy each other.”
subscribe online: www.vownepal.com | VOW | 51
Jwalanta Shrestha
Age: 25 Profession: Computer Engineer; Researcher Star sign: Gemini
In three words he’s: “Geeky, busy and helpful.” In his down time: “I travel and take photographs.” Wildest thing he’s done: “I have done a few serious computer pranks (which I can’t mention here :P)” Film that never bores him: “The Matrix.” Woman is: “The future of man (as suggested by Google search!)” First thing he notices in a woman is: “Her simplicity.” Biggest turn off: “Arrogance. I hate women who are rude to waiters in restaurants.” A female fashion no-no: “Excessive perfume.” His ideal partner should be: “Understanding and adaptable.”
Meet Sanjeev: “I am a simple, fun loving guy with a positive outlook towards life and ready to take up new challenges.” His feminine side: “My friends say I cook well, and yeah, I love spending time in t he kitchen trying out new dishes.” The best things about being a bachelor: “Firstly, I have the liberty to spend money lavishly, secondly, I can party hard during the weekends and thirdly, I get to control the TV remote, watch sports, and movies of my choice—no nagging for daily soaps!” First thing he notices in a woman: “Her eyes.” His definition of an ideal life partner: “Someone who’s considerate, charming, caring and loving.” Women want: “To be loved, understood, pampered and feel secured.” He believes the most important value in a relationship is: “Trust and communication.” Marriage is: “A wonderful opportunity of journeying through life and learning more about it with someone who has entrusted their heart and soul to you. Could there be a better privilege than this?” Three words that define him the best: “Honest, compassionate, and fun-loving.”
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Dr Sanjeev Silwal
Age: 27 Profession: Doctor Star sign: Aries
Women making the first move: “Sweet. It should happen often.” Marriage is: “A compromise that pays off.” The most important value in a relationship is: “Respect for each other.”
Jeevan Lama
Age: 27 Profession: Managing Director, Education.com; Programme Manager, Sailung Foundation Star sign: Aquarius
Foxy foodie: “I can’t get enough of cheese. Cheese is heaven for me!” Pouty lips or curvy hips: “Pouty lips!”
In three words he’s: “Simple, energetic and hardworking.” In his free time: “I read motivational books, dance and travel.” The best things about being a bachelor: “I have more time for my friends and I can work freely.” His childhood ambition: “To join the British army.” One of his craziest dreams is: “To be a politician.” Film that never bores him: “3 Idiots.” One thing he is most afraid of losing: “My ideas and plans.”
Always on a man’s mind: “Girls.” Marriage is: “Something that binds your relationship.” First thing he notices in a woman: “Her eyes.” A female fashion no-no: “Outfits that are too revealing.” Biggest turn on: “A good physique.” His ideal life partner should be: “Supportive, understanding and close to my family.” The most important value in a relationship is: “Understanding.”
Text - Evelyn Moktan and Pramila Rai Photos - Shankar Bir Byanjankar
reader writes
My environmental
warriors
A few months back, my six-year-old son, Jayesh, came home from school very excited, saying his school, St Xavier’s, has been declared a poly-free zone. When I very innocently asked him what “poly-free” meant, he was taken aback at my ignorance and went on to give me a thorough explanation as to what it meant and how the use of plastic bags pollute our environment and make the world dirty and unhealthy. He then proceeded to explain how plastic bags used to carry our milk packets every day is used only for two minutes and then discarded, which adds to a minimum of one plastic bag per family every day being discarded. Then he went on to tell me that I should not carry a plastic bag for our daily milk purchase. I agreed and said I would think of an option. But as old habits die hard, every morning I still carried them in a plastic bag, and every morning Jayesh would come down, eyes wide open to see if we had made a change as per his request, until one morning he got furious and said he would make me a paper bag for us to carry milk packets in. I controlled my laughter and explained to him that a paper bag would tear right after we put the wet milk packets in it. He looked around and then pointed to my newly purchased fancy gunny bag and said, “That wouldn’t tear.” I agreed to his 54 | VOW | june 2011
worthwhile demand and later went to the market to check for something more durable till I found a small basket that could hold my daily purchase of five packets of milk and some veggies. Jayesh was very happy to see the basket and the next morning proudly picked it up to go for milk shopping! He would also make it a point to remind us every other morning to take the basket with us to buy milk as initially it was not really easy to remember to take the basket along. Now my husband and I make it a point to remember it before our six-year-old poly-
free advocate can make any comment early in the morning! That is not all. In his effort to ‘poly-free’ our world, he has replaced the plastic bag used to carry his sports uniform and shoes to school with a cloth-bag, which he had requested me to sew. One day, this bag tore and when I told him he could use a poly bag just until I fix it, he came up with a better idea of packing his sports shoes…in a newspaper! I must say it was very impressive. He has even replaced his grandmother’s plastic bag that used to keep her religious books with a paper bag. Along with his sister Julin, who studies in class four in the same school, he has made a poster, which he has put up at home; he makes every visitor read it. He has also taken it to his school for display. By sharing the story of my little environmental warriors, I would like to request every parent to listen closely to their children. They might also have better ideas than us. I guess you would agree with me that the new generation is definitely much smarter. Today my husband, Jai, who is an environmentalist and I are very proud to say that we have majorly reduced our poly-bag consumption due to our sixyear-old son’s appeals! Earlier, we used at least 50 poly bags every month—30 for milk and 20 for veggies, etc. So, like us, if every family could make a conscious effort to reduce their poly-bag consumption, our world would definitely be a cleaner and healthier place to live in. Text» Swosti Rajbhandari
5
living
Pots can make a
garden
When your hobby clashes with your space… If you have green fingers, and itchy ones at that, you might be disheartened by the lack of garden or space in your home. But as they say, where there is will, there is a way… Whether you live in a flat or in a rented room, you can always cultivate this hobby of yours. What you need to do is start container gardening. Container gardening is the system of growing plants in containers instead of the ground. You can grow your favourite plants in containers, both small and big, made from either plastic or terracotta. They serve to brighten up your small home and add visual value to it. So remember that beautiful old bowl you just cannot seem to get rid of? Use it.
Here are some of the reasons why you should try container gardening… It’s economical:
This type of gardening can be very economical when compared to conventional gardening. You can take any old bucket or container and use it to nurture a new life.
Garden anywhere:
Any space, however small, can be used and enhanced. For example, your window ledge, wide stairs or a spare corner in your veranda can be made use of.
It’s portable:
One of the best things about container gardening is its portability or mobility. You can move your pots and plants around without much hassle. This gives your place a new look every time. And the cost: a few of your calories!
Flexibility:
You can plant whatever you wantranging from a variety of vegetables to herbs, seasonal flowers, fruits and perennial plants! All you need to consider is the size of the container and the weather. 56 | VOW | june 2011
Vitality:
The pretty colours of the flowers brighten up many a dull corner. You can mix some vivid coloured flowers amongst your duller ones to create a more interesting look.
Starting your own garden
Start by deciding what plants you want. Your garden is only restricted by the climate and how far your imagination can stretch. Flowers enhance the beauty of a room or any drab place with their vivacity and bright splashes of colour. You can choose from Rose, Petunia, Cineraria, Pansy, Marigold, Calceolaria, Azalea, Bougainvillea, and Geranium… anyone that’s available in a nearby nursery. Or even better, you can try them all. Another option could be herbs. For your herbs, try using commercial potting mix instead of the usual garden soil because they have minerals suited for container growing. Attempt growing herbs for daily use. Garlic, coriander, ginger, basil, oregano, rosemary, lemon grass, celery, parsley, sage, mint or chives can be cultivated easily. You can place your pots of herbs in and around your kitchen for easy access. Similarly, you can also plant vegetables and fruits. Green leafy vegetables like lettuce and spinach, and tomatoes grow very well in containers, and so do a variety of fruits these days, including meyer lemon, guava, kumquat (muntala), strawberry, orange, mango, apple, etc. Next, you must get a pot. You can
either go and buy pots or use any unwanted containers you have lying around the house. Make it fun by painting your containers. You can get clay and metal pots of various sizes for your plants. Showcase your creativity by placing them around your home in totally different ways. Finally, you need mulch. It is a protective cover placed over the soil to retain moisture, reduce erosion, provide nutrients, and suppress weed growth and seed germination. When you add soil to your container, leave a 2-inch space between the top of the soil and the top of the container. You will be able to add ½ inch or so of mulch later. You can use dried leaves, sawdust, shredded newspaper, hay, straw, etc as mulch.
Things to remember: Wooden containers are prone to rot easily. Make sure your containers have wide openings. Do check that your pots have sufficient drainage. Use containers that won’t crack easily, like metal, stone, fibreglass. Plants in clay pots need to be watered often as clay is porous and water seeps very quickly. The problem with weed that conventional gardening has and the risk of soil-borne diseases are considerably less with container gardening.
tête-à-tête
All about
the
bees...
and the
Sandra L Caron, PhD, is a Professor of Family Relations and Human Sexuality at the College of Education and Human Development at the University of Maine, USA. She has been a faculty member there for the last 20 years; Dr Caron also works as a sex therapist in Bangor, Maine. She is the founder and director of three peer education programmes: Athletes for Sexual Responsibility, The Greek Peer Educator Programme and Male Athletes Against Violence. In research, her 50 -plus publications have focused on social-sexual development of young people, with an emphasis on sexual decision making, contraceptive use/safer sex, sexual assault and sexuality education. She has served as a board member for American Association of Sex Educators, Counsellors and Therapists (AASECT) and has also been part of many committees in Maine as well as on campus. Dr Caron has made a huge impact in the University of Maine in the area of Human Development and Human Sexuality. It is no surprise then that her Human Sexuality class is one of the most popular courses at the University. Given the sensitivity of the subject, for her class she even dresses up as some of the famous women of reproductive history; she shows clips from movies and sitcoms and involves the students in many interactive games. Sometimes, she gives them candies too! When asked how she feels about being a professor of Human Sexuality, Dr Caron says, “Many people do not realise that the field of sexology is an academic discipline and assume they know about it because they see it in the media and learn through osmosis. It is important to realise that there have been all kinds of research; unfortunately, we live in a time where people are uneducated or misinformed about the field of sexuality. 58 | VOW | june 2011
People learn about sexuality through movies and advertisements, but they have not been taught like they would be taught math. I am not talking sexuality as in ‘doing it’ but it is about understanding the facts—how the body works, relationship issues. You see, everyone is taught the three ‘R’s in school—Reading, (w)Riting and (a)Rithmetic, but not Relationships and it should be the fourth R. There is an academic side to sexuality that people take for granted. The media is designed to entertain not educate, so you get a lot of misconceptions. Many people develop many bed-time fables due to what they see in the media as to how things are supposed to be. Many couples carry that idea with them and cannot understand why they cannot make the magic happen like in the movies and get frustrated because they feel there is a certain way to be. People tend to forget that we are individuals and we need to
focus on what works for us rather than live up to a standard portrayed in the media.” Dr Caron is also a professor of Family Relations, another popular course where students are taught about such issues like dating, mate selection and different kinds of families. “There is a lot to learn about families, relationships within families, and how the dynamics work. People assume that they know about families simply because they have a family—it’s like walking through the woods and claiming you know forestry!” That she has been a professor for over 20 years is testament enough of the love she has for her job. “What I love about being a professor is working with the students because they are the future lawyers, doctors, leaders, parents, and if I can get them to take an issue as sexuality to their hearts, it will most likely influence their careers. It will give the topic more credibility. As parents, hopefully these students will be better educators than how their parents had been to them. I also like being a professor because you are not only teaching but you are also doing research and public service in a way by being a member of different committees and speaking to the public on issues that concern most of us. I can put my energy in a lot of different places.” In Maine, she has served in the Board of Directors for organisations such as Family Planning Association of Maine, the Eastern Maine AIDS Network, and the Mable Wadsworth Women’s Health Centre. So how does one link family relations and human sexuality? According to Dr Caron, both these areas have not been seen traditionally as something to do with biology or psychology. They fall under the area of Human Development which takes psychology, sociology and education together in imparting knowledge about
how children, families and people interact. In between getting phone calls, rewriting the Hock book and preparing for the next semester, she elaborates, “We are mostly raised in a family and it is assumed that once there are children in the picture, ‘everybody knows how to take care of the kids’. They think it’s automatic. Parenting is not seen as something people need to learn. There is a lot of study done on what makes a good parent and what good parenting is. Unfortunately, we have a lot of family problems like abuse that people grow up with and assume that things will be fine with time.” Dr Caron is one of the two licensed sex therapists in the state of Maine and has inspired many students to follow her track. She explains how one can go about becoming a sex therapist in the US: “In order to become a therapist, I needed to get a master’s degree in counselling, my specialty being sex therapy. There is no state license for that but there is a license in clinical professional counselling and I specialised in sexuality. It is no different from someone specialising in addiction, adolescents, eating disorders, etc. I have additional training through a national organisation AASECT. I have had a lot of trainings through attending workshops. My PhD is in Human Development with a specialty in Human Sexuality and that is how I became a professor of sexuality.” There are many negative connotations associated with therapy and when asked about them, Dr Caron explains, “As more people understand the discipline of psychology, counselling and therapy, there is a greater awareness and an understanding that we all need help sometimes. We could all use a perspective that is not our mother’s or sisters’. It helps to hear a perspective that is objective, someone who can stand back and offer support without judgment. The idea that we can all do it alone or just get help from the family does not always work because the problem could be with the family. Sometimes you need someone outside to work with you. People who come to therapy have acknowledged that they need help. We cannot force someone to get help. They need to choose to get help. The beauty of therapy is that people choose to come to therapy and they are already making a change. In couple therapy that I have done over the past 15 years, I have come across couples where one is more willing to get help than the other. There can be problems with performance, desire and relationship issues. We do not just focus on what is going on in the bedroom. The best indicator is how they interact in the living room, kitchen to tell us more about what is going on. There will be cases when one is more motivated and the other is reluctant, which is a challenge because unless both are willing it is difficult
to help them move in a positive direction.” So does gender play a role in therapy? Are women more prone to get help than men? “It is hard to make generalisations based on gender as to who is more motivated and cooperating. Most problems occur because they are uneducated or they are ignorant; it can also be about the way they were raised or maybe they just need some support. Couples’ issues are universal. They are not just limited to one culture or continent. I think as human beings we all want respect and dignity—we want to be in a relationship where there is trust and caring. Being raised in a more strict religion or environment where one was put down by the family can have an impact in their future relationships.”
Given all the responsibilities of being a professor, a sex therapist and a member of many committees and organizations, Dr Caron is also a mother to an eight-year-old daughter, Joy, who, quite obviously is the “joy” of her life. She says that despite being an American woman it is difficult to be a woman who is a professional as well as a mother because we live in a world where double standards are still alive and well. “It is expected that if a child is sick, it is the woman who will take time off work. As women, we have come a long way but we still have a long way to go. Certainly my job has the flexibility—since I am a professor I do not have an eight-to-five job. My job allows me to take my daughter to her doctor’s appointment when needed. It requires being very organised when you are juggling a lot of things and it helps to have support from your family and friends,” she says with a smile as she looks at the picture of her daughter placed on her desk. We assume that for a developed country such as the United States, issues of sexuality should be a topic without any taboo, but it is not so. “It is unfortunate that most societies are sex saturated, yet sex silent. There is sex everywhere but we tend to be a society where we still do not educate people on sex issues. People are very critical of the issue. Sex educators are trying to teach facts, figures and research. Most high school students get their information from their friends who are equally ignorant, which is very dangerous. It is the blind leading the blind. It is an issue that people should talk about because
many lives can be saved. It could prevent many unplanned pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases. Concerning STDs, in many countries including the United States, people think it is better not to know. There is also the thinking that if you get an STD, you deserved it. People think that talking about sexuality promotes promiscuous behaviour but there is nothing to promote, it is already going on. Many countries are more interested in the morality than in the reality of the issues. There is the belief that if we withhold the information and the services, the children will act responsibly, which does not usually happen. In fact, in countries like Sweden and the Netherlands where there is more sex education, children act more responsibly and there are fewer cases of teenage pregnancies and STDs. Talking to children about sexuality you are more likely to make them more responsible adults.” Despite her hectic schedule, Dr Caron still manages to be charming and inspiring to so many. She was excited to talk about some of her latest projects, “I have just completed collecting 20 years worth of data from college students on their attitudes and behaviours towards sex in a Human Sexuality survey. I am looking forward to working on that data and coming up with a few publications on them. I am attending the World Congress on Sexual Health meeting in Sweden where I will be presenting a paper on the difference between adolescent girls in the Netherlands and the US, difference between a country that acknowledges sexual health and a country that represses it.” She may be a busy professor with a “crazy” schedule, but she still manages to stay connected to her old students as well as make time to get to know the new ones. She gave me time to meet with her before I had applied to the University and within 16 months of that I was working with her. Towards the end of this chat, I asked her if she had any more key points she wanted to share, and she had this to say: “Sexuality is an important part of who we are and if we can acknowledge this part of ourselves, it will be easier to take responsibility for our actions. Your sexuality is yours; it’s been with you from the time you were born. It is important to take ownership of your life. It is important to see yourself for all that you are instead of all that you are not. It is never too late to learn.”
Text» Anjana Rajbhandary subscribe online: www.vownepal.com | VOW | 59
woman to watch
Sushma Karki, Actress
about me...
©VOW photofile/Rajiv Shrestha
Nickname: Sush Star sign: Scorpio Strengths: Honesty and straight-forwardness Weakness: I easily trust everyone. Childhood ambition: To become a singer (I still have that dream… am even training…) One role that I want to play: That of a psycho! First modeling assignment: A photoshoot with Saptahik weekly when I was just studying in grade eight. First film: Mero Euta Saathi Chha Recently seen in: Batch No 16 I love wearing… casuals—T-shirts and pants; also traditional attires like kurtas and saree. I have a fetish for… lingerie!
60 | VOW | june 2011
Dress: United Colors of Benetton, Durbar Marg, Tel: 4221454 Bangle: Bentley, Durbar Marg, Tel: 4228338
Dress: Hangers, Tel: 9813166172 Hat: Fuel, Durbar Marg, Tel: 4238428
Dress: Hangers, Tel: 9813166172 Bangles: Bentley, Durbar Marg, Tel: 4228338
my beautiful life
Sahana Bajracharya First Runner-Up, Miss Nepal 2010
At 21, the petite, pretty and confident Sahana Bajracharya has already established herself as one of the most sought after models in the industry. Seen in several advertisements and as a television host, she is constantly spotted in happening parties and events also promoting social causes. Here, she shares with VOW, things that constitute her beautiful life...
Hawaii
in my life and the love that surrounds me.
Current cell phone... iPhone 3GS
In my handbag, I always have: Moisturiser, lip balm, compact, and cash.
Current watch: Anne Klein's gold charm watch
MAC Viva Glam Gaga Lipglass, Dior Addict Lip Maximiser N° 001 and Lancome L’Absolu Rouge lipsticks. I use Clinique Perfectly Real Compact Makeup and Shiseido Sun Protection Liquid Foundation.
For hair and skin treatment…
I frequently visit Spa Prana for my nails and skin, and for my tresses I visit Arden, The Beauty Point.
Favourite designers...
Tenzin Tsetan Bhutia from Nepal and Elie Saab internationally.
The secret : behind my glow lmate
A happy life and a sou . who truly understands me
The most beautiful moment of my life... I will
Makeup I use eyeshades of Estee Lauder Signature (Arctic Night and Truffle), Dior 5 Couleurs Designer and Chanel Ombres Perlees.
Skin care :
As I have a combination skin type, I wash my face with Clinique Liquid Facial Mild Soap. During the day, I use Dior Hydra Life Skin Perfect cream, and at night, I apply Clinique Moisturiser. Since I am very particular about protecting my skin against sun exposure, I use Shiseido Extra Smooth Sun Protection SPF 38.
Current perfume:
Pleasures by Estee Lauder and Chanel No 5
Latest splurge:
Herve Leger Bandage dresses for my sister and me.
Style matra:
always remember the Miss Earth 2010 pageant in Vietnam, where my wish to represent Nepal internationally became a reality. It was an immense honour to wear the sash with “Nepal” emblazoned across it and I hope I made Nepal proud.
Diet secret:
The most stylish movie I've watched:
Sex and the City. Both the movie and the serial.
Mix, Match, Smile and Shine.
Fresh fruit juices that my mom makes for me everyday.
Shopping destination:
Favourite hand-me-down item: My Grandfather’s library.
ENVY, Durbar Marg for shoes, and GINGER, Pulchowk for dresses! Text» Pramila Rai
©VOW photofile/Shankar Bir Byanjankar
Ideal holiday destination:
My life is beautiful because... of the people
health feature help in continued, steady stimulation throughout the day.
Ear Acupuncture
Bye, bye bad habits! According to a report, there are more than 150,000 addicts in Nepal, 64 percent of who are school kids. Smoking and alcohol are accepted in Nepali society, with both cigarettes and liquor freely available. The reasons why a person indulges in such habits are usually to give company to friends or visitors, to have fun, to be a part of a social party or meeting, and of course, to relieve stress, think clearly, feel happier, lighter, less anxious or tensed or to forget a traumatic situation. Most of the people who approach me for quitting such habits say that they really want to quit, but are not able to do it as the craving is still there, and they often replace one thing with another—for example smoking with chewing tobacco—but are not able to completely give up the habit itself. This usually happens because after a while, psychological dependence is replaced with physical dependence, ie, your body needs these substances more than your mind, and then it is not easy to quit anymore. If you have been trying to get rid of smoking, chewing tobacco, alcohol or drugs, or know a person who has been trying to quit these habits, here’s news for you. Your ears have functions beyond hearing and being pulled for a mistake. According to Chinese medicine, the ear has many points related to your body’s organs and functions. When the right points are stimulated, they help in treatment of various diseases, as well as in maintaining good health. Out of these points, 5-6 points are selected on each ear for being treated with sterile acupuncture needles, ear seeds or punch needles. These points have 64 | VOW | june 2011
been identified by National Acupuncture Detoxification Association (NADA) and American College of Addictionology and Compulsive Disorders (ACACD) to be specifically useful for treatment of substance-abuse, addictions and habits, in detoxification, and for relieving stressrelated conditions. Typically, both ears of the patient are needled at the same time for 30-45 minutes. Because the protocol for the treatment does not change from person to person, it does not depend on any kind of case history. This allows for a complete nonverbal treatment. During the session, it is important to maintain a quiet environment to allow the person to relax and allow the healing to take place. If this is done in a community setting, where a group of people receive the treatment together, it helps in building support and motivation. Because all patients in a group receive the same treatment, it helps the person in overcoming feelings of denial and of being singled out, and also allows the physician to treat many patients at the same time. At Karuna Healthcare, the needling session is usually followed by pasting seeds (mustard seeds) on to the points which can be roll-pressed 3-4 times a day and can remain for 2-3 days in the same place. These seeds also serve as alternatives for people who are afraid of needles or are just reluctant to get needled. Punch needles, which are round needles, can also be used and allowed to stick to the points; they
People receiving this kind of treatment report of having experienced an improved sense of well-being. They feel ‘energised’, ‘lighter’ and ‘more relaxed’ after the session. They also mention about having better sleep quality, lesser dreams and nightmares, happier mood during the day without the need for a smoke, a drink or a patch which they would usually do during the day, often not knowing why they are taking it. Thus, one does not feel the need for reverting to substance abuse as often as they generally did; gradually, they get over the habit completely as the craving reduces. Lots of studies have documented the effectiveness of this treatment programme, particularly in improving retention in drug treatment programmes, instilling more faith in the process, better cooperation, hopefulness about recovery, reduced anxiety, and reduced need for medicinal support. This protocol can be used with other modalities of treatment and care, such as counselling, education, family involvement, mutual support group involvement, self-help programmes, general medicinal support and a holistic healthcare focusing on physical, mental as well as spiritual health. Besides being used for habits and addictions, these points help in general detoxification. They also help in relieving one of the associated health problems arising because of long term use of these substances. The same protocol has been used to relieve stress, anxiety, fears, effects of grief, shock, and panic; it also helps in tackling the problem of an overcrowded mind vexed with thoughts. Thus, it has been very useful in the management of post-traumatic stress disorder; it is also used as a psychological first-aid in situations of disaster. When applied in disaster settings, it helps in helping the victims, volunteers as well as the healthcare team to face the situation with greater courage and a clearer, relaxed state of mind. It can help a person to tide over memories of past emotional trauma and the effect these emotional assaults have had on the health of the person. With so much to offer to modern society, where most of us are stressed or are suffering from expressed or unexpressed overwhelming emotional states, such a detox treatment must be conducted more often in community settings. Dr Ruchi Saxena Dhakal, MD (Hom), MBA (HCS), is a consultant homoeopath at Karuna Healthcare, Maharajgunj. Contact her at 4017511 or email her at drruchi@holisticswasthya.com
exerfile
Breathe easy, gal !
In these competitive days and busy times, we are more often plagued with stress and tension. With a fair share of pressure at work and also on the domestic front, it is no wonder that women get exhausted easily. We all need to be free from strain in the body and in the mind-to be more happy and productive. These seven steps will leave you feeling happy and light in no time.
1
STEP
Stand straight with your feet together. Lift your arms straight up and inhale. Then bend your body forward and hold your ankles. Exhale. Then come back to the first position.
Required: Four times
STEP
Stand straight with your feet together. Keep your hands crossed at the wrist and squeeze your chest. Exhale. Take your right leg one step forward and stretch your left leg at the back. Open and lift your hands upwards and then slightly sideways and also open your chest to inhale. Then come back to the first position.
2
Š VOW photofile/Sanu Raja Maharjan
Required: Four times on each side
3
STEP
Stand straight with your feet together. Keep your hands crossed at the wrist and squeeze your chest while exhaling. Take your left leg one step forward and stretch your right leg at the back, also pulling your elbows to the back. Open your chest and inhale. Then come back to the first position. Required: Four times on each side
66 | VOW | june 2011
STEP
Stand straight with your feet together and your arms raised above your head. Now cross your fingers together with your palms facing upwards. Next bend your torso to the right while exhaling. Come back to the first position while inhaling, and then bend your torso to the left while exhaling. Required: Four times on each side
4
STEP
Stand straight with legs open at shoulder width apart. Now lift your arms straight up above the head while inhaling. Next, bend both the knees and take your torso forward while exhaling, keeping your back parallel to the floor. Then come back to the first position while inhaling.
5
Required: Four times
6
STEP
Lie on your back with knees bent and open at shoulder width apart, your palms placed beside your hips. Now lift your hips with the support of your palms on your back. While pausing in the position, breathe normally—raising your stomach slowly as you inhale and gently squeeze your stomach as you exhale. Then come back to the first position. Required: Eight times
STEP
Lie down flat on your stomach with your elbows bent and your palms placed firmly beside your chest. Now press your palms against the floor and stretch your elbows to lift your upper body while inhaling. Then come back to the first position while exhaling.
7
Required: Eight times Hisako Utsugi is an America Fitness Aerobics Association (AFAA) and Japan Aerobics Fitness Association (JAFA) certified aerobics instructor, as well as a certified yoga instructor. She is also an exclusive instructor at Lalit Mandap Hardik Club. subscribe online: www.vownepal.com | VOW | 67
health bulletin
Q&A
Q&A HEART
MENTAL HEALTH
I am in my late 20s and my family has a history of heart disease. My grandfather died of heart failure and currently my uncles and my father are undergoing treatments as well. Most of the time, I have noticed that most of them complained of pain in their left arm or shoulder. Why do heart attack symptoms usually involve the left arm and shoulder? – Rina
My cousin is 22 years old and lives with his mother while his father lives with his second wife. He started using drugs while in school. He chose Marijuana and Nitrovate. Occasionally he also used to drink alcohol and use higher doses of drugs. For the last three years, he has remained very lazy, avoiding anything that needs mental and physical effort. He’s put on weight too, and he also keeps on taking deep breaths as if he is very tired. He is short-tempered and beats his neighbours and even his mother at the slightest pretext. He can’t stay in one place even for five minutes. I tried taking him to rehabilitation centres but it failed. I took him to a doctor and he has even been taking the prescribed medicine… but his condition is getting worse—he says he can’t stay calm without the medicine. We have admitted him to a rehab centre now where he continues to take the medicine. However, the rehab staff say that their service can’t cure his mental illness, which is hindering his addiction treatment. My hope for his recovery is dwindling. Please suggest what I should do… – Bikash
You seem to have a strong family history of heart disease. If your relatives suffered from heart diseases at young age (below 55 years in men and below 65 years in women) then it is considered a significant risk. It’s nice to see that you are aware of this and taking precautions from a young age. Enough studies have proven that earliest blockages in arteries can be seen as early as in early twenties (Fatty streaks). The symptoms of heart attack or angina can occur anywhere in the chest or any of the arms. It may also radiate to back, lower jaw or even upper stomach. The distribution of pain actually depends on common nerve supply from the same level of spine. Our mind is more used to feeling pain in body areas as compared to “heart”! The most important symptom of heart disease is chest discomfort on any heavy physical activity. At this age, you should just try to maintain your weight, enjoy a healthy diet and avoid tobacco in any form!
He is definitely a highly distressed person but his behaviour is also harming his family, neighbours and society. If not tackled in time he might be criminalised in the near future. His illness has become very complicated with genetic influence for short temperament, and family issues which has now become compounded by excessive use of multiple drugs and alcohol. Marijuana is known to cause “Amotivation Syndrome” and his laziness and obesity are coming from that. His disruptive behaviour, jitteriness and keyed up state falls under the diagnosis of “Manic Depressive Illness”. And such people are known to tackle their inner distress by self medicating with alcohol and tablets like “Nitrovate”. Your cousin needs a comprehensive therapy from a psychiatrist or a mental health professional along with medicines. With regard to the duration of his illness, he requires long counselling sessions for quite a long time. Don’t be frustrated, it might take some time before he comes across a “matching therapist.”
Dr Bharat Rawat,
Executive Director and Consultant Cardiologist at the Norvic International Hospital, will answer all your heart queries. Send your queries to him at drrawat@norvic.wlink.com.np
Fond memories of the past = Happier present
Dr Sharad Man Tamrakar,
health bulletin
Neuro-Psychiatrist at Norvic International Hospital, will answer all your mental health queries. Send your queries to him at editorial@vow.com. npContact him at 4258554/9851007474.
68 | VOW | june 2011
People who remember the past fondly are more likely to experience greater happiness in the present, according to a new study published in an American Journal Personality and Individual Differences. Similarly, researchers found that people who tend to focus on regrets and negative experiences are not as satisfied with their lives as those who maintain a rosier view of the past. Personality has a lot to do with how one recalls the past, according to the study, which examined how people’s levels of extraversion, neuroticism, openness, conscientiousness and agreeableness relate to their attitudes and life satisfaction. The study’s findings suggest that people with certain personality traits are happier than other because of the way they think about their past, present and future. The researchers found that highly extraverted people are happier with their lives because they tend to hold a positive, nostalgic view of the past and are less likely to have negative thoughts and regrets. People high on the neurotic scale essentially have the exact opposite view of the past and are less happy as a result.
Q&A TEETH
Q&A HOMOEOPATHY
I am a 31-year-old woman. I had an RCT and crowning done a year ago on one of my lower molars. Since two weeks I have been feeling pain in that tooth. When I visited my dentist I was surprised to learn that I have an infection in that area. How is that possible? I had thought that there’s no prospect of pain or fear of losing a tooth after a proper RCT and crowning. What should I do now? My dentist says I have to do RCT again. – Padma Sharma
I am a 37-year-old man. I used to have a thick mane but of lately I have been losing hair incessantly. I heard that homoeopathy medicine is very effective and will cure my problem. Is that true? Will it give me desired results? Are there any side effects? Please advise. – Laxman Thapa Dear Laxman ji, I need to know if your hair loss is only since a short duration, did you suffer from an acute disease prior to this kind of ‘incessant’ hair loss, or an event of high stress, or did your diet pattern suddenly change? Also, it is important for me to know if the hair loss is from all over your scalp or only in the front area, sides, top, and vertex. If it’s an acute onset hair loss from all over the head in large quantities, it can probably be a condition called Acute Telogen Effluvium. Chronic Telogen Effluvium is a gradual loss of hair from all over the head. If it is patterned, it is a condition called Androgenetic Alopecia (AGA), or typical Male Pattern Baldness. Homoeopathy can help you to a good extent in cases of Acute and Chronic Telogen Effluvium, along with nutrition. In case of AGA, which is a progressive condition, homoeopathy can help to slow down the progress, so that the hair loss does not further deteriorate, while recovery of lost hair is possible in some percentage of follicles which are in growth phase and have not undergone permanent changes due to AGA. Hence the pattern and grade of your hair loss needs to be assessed. In cases of AGA the homoeopathic treatment needs to be continued for at least two-three years to ensure the full hair cycle is observed. There are no side-effects of homoeopathic remedies. They are constitutional remedies prescribed in small doses selected after complete assessment of your physical and mental makeup and can help in lessening the effects of familial predispositions, as is commonly seen in patterned hair loss in families, as well as reversing the effects of acute diseases, sideeffects of medicaments, long-term malnourishment, nicotine (tobacco) and in managing associated internal diseases which can contribute in causing and maintaining hair fall.
Root canal treatments occasionally fail. The main reasons for such failures are: 1. Missed canal 2. Inadequate shaping and cleaning 3. Leakage 4. Development of cracks and so on. Sometimes the tooth has more canals than anticipated and found, and this may be a place for the microorganisms to hide and eventually cause infection. The most common tooth that gives this kind of problem is the upper molar. Sometimes the canals are curved, narrow and branched out, making it very difficult to shape and allow the antibacterial solutions to penetrate. If the seal that is placed is not tight or gets broken over time, bacteria can again penetrate and cause problems. Similarly, the development of cracks on the tooth could be the other cause for failure. Re-treatment deals with these problems usually. Looking at your incidence of root canal at the age of 31, I would consider you to be at high risk of cavity, and would like to advise you to properly brush twice a day along with floss or inter-dental cleaner and visit your dentist at least every six months and follow his advice fully.
Dr Neil Pande,
General Dental Practitioner at Healthy Smiles, will answer all your teeth queries. Send your queries to him at neil@smilenepal.com
Moms may pass hypertension risk to kids
Dr Ruchi Saxena DhakaL,
Consultant Homoeopath at Karuna Healthcare, will answer all your homoeopathic queries. Send your queries to her at drruchi@holisticswasthya.com.
Contact her at 4017511.
Mothers with a certain genetic mutation may pass the tendency to develop high blood pressure on to their children, according to a new study published in Circulation Research, a journal of the American Heart Association. Researchers from the US, China and Austria made the discovery after focusing on a five-generation Chinese family. Many of its members who descended from the same female ancestor had high blood pressure. The researchers found in these people a genetic mutation that affects the mitochondria. These are the “powerhouses” of the cells that convert energy into useable forms. The discovery suggests that a mitochondrial DNA mutation could be the basis for high blood pressure in some people.
health bulletin
Peppermint good for IBS
A new study by the researchers at University of Adelaide has shown that peppermint can relieve the pain caused by Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS). It does this by activating an anti-pain channel in the large intestine. This study proves that the leaves of this medicinal plant activate TRPM8, the anti-pain channel which in turn decreases the pain sensing fibres, especially the ones activated after eating chilli and mustard. This is the first study that shows an evidence of the pain relieving properties of peppermint, although several naturopaths have been prescribing it for many years. subscribe online: www.vownepal.com | VOW | 69
well-being
Celebrity workout with Sandesh
exercise that works!
Single Leg Squeeze Lie flat on your back, hands on the sides of your hip, palms facing down, bend your right knee and straighten your left leg.
1
2
celebrity of the month
Lift your hip about two inches off the floor and raise your left leg about 60 degrees from the floor.
Sugarika KC,
Former Miss Nepal, Owner of Induction Height 170.18 cms
Squeeze your gluteus muscles to lift/ push your hips up (exhale), lower your hip (inhale). Repeat (10 times on each leg)
3
Weight 52 kilos
Hip Circle Kick Back
Diet: I am a lacto-vegetarian. I take normal Nepali food for breakfast, for lunch it is usually light snacks like fruits, fresh juices, salads or dried nuts, and dinner is usually rotis, milk and spinach.
Assume an all four posture, knees hip width apart, hands shoulder width apart, back straight , stomach tight. Straighten your right leg and lift it parallel to the floor.
1
Current exercise: I do basic yoga. Aim: I want toned curvy hips. Medical history N/A
Draw your leg back so that your thigh becomes parallel (knee pointing laterally out) to the floor.
2
and lifestyle ergy. y h lt a en he ows a e and active ll o f a Sugarik lot of positiv mend her to ree a th om shows , I would rec ing at least ve r in ur e a c Howev esistance tr ore weight, r m p take u to add a week s her e im t n, but t a th. ia g r n a t e r e t no eg and s pure v ufficiency is at is a ik Sugar for protein s e more apt an ar rn conce Our bodies gh plants th . u o m r r proble g protein th ealthie in it’s a h , legumes, b d r n o s a b s a tils ct l produ … beans, len nut and a im n a ny day olegrain, dry urce| ajune 2011 wh 70 |so VOW ducts, soy pro paringly). (s seeds
Close your knees together before kicking back to repeat the movement. Repeat (15 times on each leg)
3
Sportswear courtesy:
NIKE Durbar Marg, Tel: 4221451
© VOW photofile/Rajiv Shrestha
TiPs
Lateral Squat lift Stand straight, feet close together in a chair position, keep your spine straight and slightly leaning forward, hands placed on the thighs for support.
1
Hi! I have been doing yoga for the past three years. I am 5.2 in height and weigh 61 kilos. I have put on about five kilos in the past year. I do 30 minutes of asanas and 15 minutes of pranayama four days a week. I eat non-vegetarian everyday. I want to lose weight. Please help. – Radha, Boudha
Step back with your right leg - back lunges.
2
Step forward with the same leg to the original position. Repeat (10 times on each leg)
3
Lift your right leg laterally and parallel to the floor and return. Repeat (10 times on each leg)
4
Stand straight with your feet about hip width apart; draw your right leg backward about shoulder width apart (fighting stance).
Hi Radha, it’s great to know that you are exercising regularly and yoga is the best form of exercise to enhance energy and improve health. The understanding that exercise alone can control weight/weight loss is false and not possible. To achieve weight loss you need to burn more calories than you consume (negative calorie balance). And managing food along with proper and adequate (your need) exercise is important to bring about that energy balance.
Things you can do • If you are comfortable with your asanas perform dynamic movements instead of static (holding), keep moving as in Surya Namaskar. • Jog or run 3-5 times a week (30 minutes or more). • Increase your other bodily activities like walking, climbing stairs, house chores, play and sports, etc.
Switch squat 1
Q&A WELL–BEING
• Join a gym to add motivation, variation and intensity.
by 2 Squat bending on your knees and easing off on your hips at the same time.
• Find ways to stay stress-free; stress is directly or indirectly related to weight gain and other bodily imbalances… meditate, let go, laugh etc. • Plan your meals; make small healthy changes to make it practical and sustainable. • Cut down on your meat consumption. • Eat more of wholesome and water based food with balanced combination… keep it colourful and natural. • Don’t overstuff yourself, instead spread your meals between 3-4 hours of time interval throughout the day.
Quickly lift yourself back up and make a small jump to switch your right foot forward and squat.
3
Switch again to bring your left foot forward and squat. Repeat (14 times)
4
Good luck!
Sandesh Palungwa Limbu
a certified professional fitness instructor, founder of RAGE Fitness, also specialises in mixed martial arts. He will answer all your fitness queries. Send your queries to him at ragefitness@live.com
subscribe online: www.vownepal.com | VOW | 71
nutrition and diet
As summer slowly rolls in, I enjoy strolling down the bustling streets, bargaining for the cornucopia of colourful fruits and vegetables that vendors offer. The vibrant mustard greens, sweet fragrance of litchi and guava brings nostalgic memories of summers spent with my family. These beautiful produce adds zest to our palate, offers pleasure to our eyes plus provides exceptional health benefits such as lowering the risk of heart disease, reducing blood pressure, and preventing certain cancers and digestive problems to name a few benefits. As fruits and vegetables have continued to remain in the spotlight since ancient times, what is in fruits and vegetables that make them so divine?
c Re
ipe of the M o
Fruits and Veggies
More Matters! Naturally occurring specific vitamins and minerals called antioxidants, found in fruits and vegetables play a vital role to prevent or repair damage to cells caused by free radicals. Free radicals are produced when we breathe, digest, smoke or even exercise and they attack our healthy cells, making them susceptible to chronic diseases such as certain cancers, heart disease, diabetes, etc. Most common antioxidants are vitamins A, C, and E, carotenoids and selenium. The process of how antioxidants work in our body is similar to enzymatic reaction of an apple. When we cut an apple and expose it to air, it turns brown but if we dip apple in Vitamin C, it remains white. Hence, we should eat antioxidant rich food to protect our cells and to prevent ourselves from various chronic diseases. Fruits and vegetables are also great sources of dietary fibre which are effective in lowering your blood cholesterol as well as regulating bowel movement. Fibre also helps provide feeling of fullness, so it is a good strategy for weight management to replace high calorie snacks such as potato chips or candy bar with fruits and vegetables. Since they are naturally very low in sodium and fat, it is also beneficial in terms of lowering blood pressure. As it is hard to argue the importance of fruits and vegetables, why not try to make them part of our everyday healthy meal plan?
n th
Preparation time: 15 minutes Serving size: ½ cup Salsa Serves: 7
Ingredients:
ith
er Heat w
umm Cool off S
lsa a S o g n a M 72 | VOW | june 2011
• • • • • • • •
1 mango, medium 1 cup pineapple, chopped 2-3 cup green onion, chopped 1 cup red capsicum (bell pepper), chopped ¼ cup fresh coriander (cilantro), chopped 2 tbsp lime juice 4 tsp olive oil or vegetable oil 1 jalapeno or serrano pepper, seeded and chopped
HOW MUCH? Most people should aim for at least five servings of fruits and vegetables a day and potatoes don’t count here. Go for a variety of kinds and colours of produce, to give your body the mix of nutrients it needs.
One serving of fruit = 1 medium piece of fruit or ½ cup fruit (raw, canned, or frozen) or ¼ cup dried fruit. One serving of vegetable = ½ cup cooked vegetables, 1 cup raw vegetables
TIPS
Buy fruits and vegetables in season as they have peak flavour and are comparatively cheaper. Only buy what you need to prevent spoilage and eliminate waste. Use cooking methods that re-uses the cooking liquid such as soups, or uses very little liquid such as steam or microwave to preserve nutrients. Blend your favourite fruits with some yogurt and ice into a smoothie.
Top produce of the month
Mango Lady finger Litchi Guava Squash Mustard greens
Directions:
Combine mango, pineapple, green onion, capsicum (red bell pepper), fresh coriander (cilantro), lime juice, olive oil, and jalapeno pepper in a medium mixing bowl. Cover and refrigerate the left over for 1-3 days. Serve with pita bread, chips or crackers.! Nutrition analysis: Per ½ cup serving: 67 calories, 3 grams fat and 2 grams fibre. Dixya Bhattarai is a nutritionist affiliated with American Dietetic Association and Illinois Dietetic Association.
sex rules
Dr poonam thapa,
Sexual Health Expert and Life Coach, will answer all your sexual health queries. Send your queries to her at editorial@vow.com.np
I am a 28-year-old newly married career-oriented woman. When we first had sex, it was upon my husband’s initiation. He made the first move and tried to make me excited but I didn’t get excited at all. However, he didn’t let go and had sex with me within five minutes. The sex was painful, and it also left a burning sensation down there. I thought it would only happen for the first time and that later I would enjoy having sex, but I haven’t. What can I do to enjoy sex? Also, I don’t want to have a child for at least a year. I have already told him this and he even said okay, but then he never uses condom. So I have been taking pills, but I heard that pills have many side effects and that I will later have complications in conceiving. I consulted some of my doctor friends and some of them said I might have problems conceiving while some said I will not. Please suggest what I should do. Should I stop taking pills altogether? You will feel some pain in having penetrative sex for the first time. The burn however is due to the penis rubbing against a dry vagina. At your age, you were dry down there because you were not aroused in spite of your husband trying. On the other hand, what your husband probably did not realise is that arousal pattern for women are quite different from men. Most women like to take their time. It’s not too much to ask, is it; to be wooed with love, tenderness and sweet nothings… especially the first time. The “wham bam thank you ma’am” technique seldom works if you wish to
74 | VOW | june 2011
foster a passionate relationship within a marriage. The best turn on for a woman is empathy! Nevertheless, give your husband the benefit of doubt and make him realise what you want out of sex. When you have this conversation with him, don’t indulge in the blame game or say “you” to many times but just talk about the “I” ie focus on how you feel. Keep in the back of your mind that he is just one of the many men in the world who don’t have a clue about sexual etiquette within a marriage. And men - yes there is such a thing. As the woman you must also understand his needs while trying to re-educate him about most things sexual. I am serious. Tell him to hit the road if he does not use a condom when you ask him to. In my book you have every right to. Well, you probably won’t be, being a married Nepali woman and all that! As for him, he is refusing either out of laziness or ignorance. Whichever reason it is, the important thing is it’s not working for you. Refusing his sexual advance is your best bet if you don’t want to be pregnant or use the pill which you already are. I am not sure how easy it is for you to say NO to sex without a condom but do listen to his reasons too. I mean, does he want children and that’s why he is forcing his hand because you are adamant about not having one right away because of your career? Men are strange creatures when it comes to social control and you don’t know until you ask and have some mutual harmony first. If he says condom use brings down his pleasure; it is absolutely not true. You have another option—why not make the wearing of condom part of foreplay, use it as a sexual accessory and you will see it will soon become a habit with him. I have no doubt that he senses your unease. So tell him that you would be more interested in sex if he used a condom. I think your fears about the pill are unfounded. Each body however is different, so talk to an independent and experienced gynaecologist, not friends who are doctors. And if you are still dry after all this, do use a water based lubricant during sex and also reflect on your own attitude to sex but again without blaming yourself. If he does not change, have a deep think because you can’t run your life forever on fear and pain!
I am a 27-year-old woman happily married to a doctor. He is a caring and loving person but he likes masturbating while watching porn rather than having sex. I have talked to him about how it irritates me but he takes it very coolly and says it’s very normal for men to watch porn and masturbate. Is it so? I even proposed to watch it together and have fun but he didn’t allow me citing that girls and women aren’t supposed to watch such movies. Though I believe he’s not really addicted to porn, he watches it when I am not at home and masturbates. This habit of his is really disturbing me and creating a sexual distance between us. I have stopped approaching him and so has he. It’s been several months since we last had sex. I have found him masturbating many times, and even I did the same. But I never get satisfied. Could you please help me out? Your doctor husband seems to have a lot of unfounded beliefs about not just him but about you too! But then being a doctor does not make him an expert on sex per se or women. Let’s put that myth to rest. Instead let’s focus on this caring and loving person who surely has a problem with low libido. Or maybe he is just simply lazy. Developing sexual intimacy with a woman (or a man) is hard work. To top it all, he has an attitude problem about what women can and cannot do. You on the other hand, seem to believe what’s good for the gander is definitely good for the goose when it comes to sex in a marriage. I am with you. It’s one thing to watch some porn or masturbate as a teenager who is discovering sex through self sex, it’s quite abnormal for a grown up man to use chronic masturbation and porn as a crutch to the detriment of a marital sexual relationship. Sorry, but what you are describing sounds like undiagnosed addiction to me which is nicely couched within a marriage as many things tend to be. Porn can or may be used occasionally by couples to enhance sex but the regular watching of porn, any porn can create problems in a relationship especially when it is always one-sided. Not a very happy situation, is it? I am not sure what kind of porn is being used by your husband but there is ample proof that adult men who use porn on a regular basis may be suffering from low-mid grade depression and if this is not treated they can develop a type of intolerance to mental sexual stimulation that is around them, you included. Eventually, such persons can reach out for more and more extreme content. If he is watching as much porn as you are saying he is, he isn’t watching anything that is close to normal sex in a romantic relationship type of porn. In this abnormal marital environment, masturbating alone will not work for you because what you actually want and need is the warmth of a human touch with a partner. There are no easy options in such a case. It’s time to have that open and honest talk with your husband about how you feel and ease him into seeking some psychological help. Don’t be accusatory and don’t mention the masturbation anymore. Don’t be defensive about yourself either. You need to first find out if he is disinterested and unable to have an erection with you or just plain disinterested. A difficult one to face but take it from there and let him know how the lack of sexual contact as man and wife makes you feel—hurt, upset and much more. His behaviour is definitely not doing wonders for your self-esteem. If he is as caring and loving as you say he is, he will listen up, change behaviour and/or get help. If he doesn’t show any empathy, it’s time for you to take stock and look at some other options!
subscribe online: www.vownepal.com | VOW | 75
animal anecdotes
The itchy
season
i s h e re…
Itching might seem a simple thing, but if it is undiagnosed or misdiagnosed, it could lead to real trouble for your pet.
As summer gets going, your dog, very often, may show some signs of itching; if this is overlooked, it could lead to a big problem. Excessive scratching is a common condition with dogs and a frustrating problem for the owners. But if you follow some logical steps, it can be treated easily with your vet’s advice.
First examine your pet
Fleas are the commonest cause of itching. There are two problems caused by fleas. One is flea irritation, caused by excessive numbers of fleas. In this condition, the fleas can be easily seen crawling through your pet’s coat. The other is flea allergy, where you only need a small number of fleas to cause a big problem. Courtesy just one ferocious flea, an allergic pet can be left scratching for most of the day and you won’t even know that the flea is there. So, the first step is to follow a perfect flea-control programme. Remember this is the ideal time to get suggestions from your vet.
Look out for infections
Infections are more often a cause of itchy skin than many owners realise. Bacteria, yeasts and fungi give rise to nasty skin complaints. This is a very serious condition and needs immediate action. Your vet will help you to confirm the diagnosis and prescribe the right medication. Never try any medication at this stage by yourself because it could be fatal for your pet.
The mange factor “Mange” is a term often misused by pet owners to describe any
itchy skin condition. True mange is a condition caused by a mite that irritates the skin and causes hair loss. The Demodex mite or, more rarely, the Sarcoptes mite, can cause major skin diseases leading to hair loss, especially around the face, and the development of secondary infections. If you don’t take prompt decision, you may lose your pet.
The final step
Very often, different factors are involved in itching, including some sort of systemic diseases and endocrinological disorders. Therefore, it is mandatory that you have patience because in many instances your pet needs long-term therapies.
Perils and Considerations
Some pet owners believe that there are injections for any kind of itching which can be administered twice annually. But there is no such miracle injection, so be correct with your facts.
Q&A PET Dr Saroj Yadav,
senior veterinarian at Animal Hospital and Research Centre, Subidhanagar, will answer all your pet queries. Email your questions to sarojyadav641@hotmail.com Contact him at 4480005
76 | VOW | june 2011
I have a two-year-old pet dog named Jumbo. I have been noticing that every summer it has sores and rashes between its paws and neck. It becomes worse as it licks the rashes and even the antiseptic cream that is applied on it. I would like to know if there is anything that I can do to prevent the sores and the rashes from appearing at all. – Bikram Rana Skin problems are quite common during summer and rainy seasons and sometimes it becomes very frustrating for pet owners. From whatever I have grasped from your question, I can infer that your dog is suffering from some sort of pyoderma or pododermatitis. Both of these are very common skin problems in our context. Although many factors are responsible for these skin infections, bacteria and fungus are found to be the leading cause. However, do visit your vet so that you get a confirmed diagnosis and initiate treatment as soon as possible before the problem becomes worse. Always remember that most skin problems require four to six weeks of therapy to completely heal.
subscribe online: www.vownepal.com | VOW | 77
quiz and polls
Are you a financiizaalrd? w and keep a close y el is w et dg bu u yo Do , or does your eye on your finances h your fingers? ug ro th ip sl st ju ey mon out. Try our quiz and find
1
You receive an unexpected bonus from your employer. You…
5
a. Think very carefully about what to do with it before you spend anything at all. b. Look on it as an unexpected windfall and treat yourself to something you want but do not necessarily need. c. Put it straight into the bank.
2
Without looking, do you know how much cash is in your purse or wallet right now?
6
a. Yes. b. More or less. c. You have no idea!
3
You want to go on holiday, but you are not sure if you can afford your preferred destination. You…
a. Go through your finances and see if you can economise elsewhere to cover the extra cost. b. Book it anyway, and worry about paying for it when the credit card bill comes in. c. Play safe and choose somewhere less expensive.
4
You want to buy a new car. You…
a. Take out a loan and buy it at once. b. Wait until you have saved up enough money. c. Dip into your savings account— you have been budgeting for the expense in advance.
80 | VOW | june 2011
7
When you are buying clothes, you…
a. Choose good quality classic clothes, which will not go out of fashion quickly. b. Buy cheap clothes in the latest fashion, and send them off to the charity shop at the end of the season. c. Have just one or two expensive garments, and keep up to date with cheaper accessories.
Do you stick to a budget?
a. Yes, unless there is a real emergency. b. Sometimes, if you have overspent and need to make some economies. c. What’s a budget?
9
10
Do you put money into a pension account for your retirement?
a. No. b. Yes. c. Not yet, but you might consider it when you get older.
8
Your car insurance comes up for renewal and the premium has been increased. You…
11
a. Groan, but pay up as usual. No point risking it. b. Ring them up and ask why it has gone up. c. Ring up several other companies and decide if your company is still offering the best deal. If not, you invest in a company that offers a better deal.
You get a letter from your bank saying you are overdrawn without prior authorisation. You…
a. Throw the letter in the bin and ignore it. You do not believe they can do anything either ways. b. Contact the bank immediately and explain why. c. Contact them and ask them to check their records because there must have been a mistake—you are never overdrawn.
A friend gives you a tip-off about some shares, which he thinks are about to go up in value. You…
a. Buy a few, but don’t spend any more money than you can afford to lose if she is wrong. b. Buy as many as you can manage, even if you have to borrow money to do it. c. Check out the shares for yourself and only invest if you agree it is a good deal. After all, no one can be trusted completely.
You are dining out at a very good restaurant. You…
a. Choose whatever you want from the menu without looking at the price. b. Have a quick look at the prices to see what you might have to pay, but choose what you want anyway. c. Take the price into consideration while choosing.
So, are you worthless, worthy or wise? Add up your score and read on….. CHECK YOUR SCORE 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11
a 5 10 5 0 10 10 0 0 0 5 0
b 0 5 0 5 0 5 10 5 5 0 5
c 10 0 10 10 5 0 5 10 10 10 10
0-30: WORTHLESS
You act on impulse, resulting in spending more than you can actually afford. Change your ways now before you find yourself seriously in debt.
35-80: WORTHY
You are sensible most of the time and think before you spend. You know how to enjoy your money without being careless.
85-110: WISE
You keep a tight rein on your finances—you must be your bank manager’s favourite customer. But make sure your money does not rule your life and stop you from having fun.
Some say the world will end in fire, some say in ice. Like d) 28% it or not, the geologic time scale tells us that no species lasts forever. How do you think humanity will go extinct? a. Superbug. We’re going to accidentally or intentionally help breed a sickness that we can’t cure. c) 22% b. We’ll be around until the sun dies. Here’s to five billion more years! c. A giant asteroid will slam into Earth, creating a huge fireball that burns most of the world’s forests and setting off the most massive earthquake the world has ever seen, rendering the Earth uninhabitable for the few remaining survivors. d. I have no idea!
a) 11%
b) 39%
QUESTION OF THE MONTH
Which one of these is your favourite fitness class? a. b. c. d. e. f. g.
Yoga Boot Camp Dance/ Zumba/ Salsa Kick Boxing Pilates Aerobics Mixed Martial Arts (MMA)
Voice your opinion in our poll and make your choice count. Send your answers to editorial@vow.com.np or simply log on to website www.vownepal.com
subscribe online: www.vownepal.com | VOW | 81
spices
Recognising tomorrow's leaders Honouring achievements, changing destiny!
With the aim of encouraging more out-of-valley participation, the awards ceremony of the Fair & Lovely VOW Top 10 College Women Competition 2010, was held at Pokhara Grande on 14 May amidst personalities from different sectors of the society and students from participating colleges. In the ceremony hosted by renowned radio personality, gifted singer and dynamic professional Rajendra Sharma, Renchin Yonjan was the keynote speaker. She highlighted the significance of making and living our choices as a woman‌ as an individual. Miss Nepal 2010 Sadichha Shrestha, first runner up, Miss Nepal 2009 Hricha Thapa and Founder and Vice President of Children and Youth First (CYF) Haushala Thapa, all past winners of VOW Top 10 College Women Competition shared with the audience what the competition means to them and why it is 'the' platform for young women aiming to become leaders of tomorrow.
Like every year, three winners each from the +2, Bachelor's and Master's categories were selected after a rigorous in-house selection after which shortlisted candidates were processed by a panel of judges comprising 12 eminent personalities. The candidate who scored the highest number of points from all the categories was awarded the most outstanding student of the year. The awards were presented to the students by the panel of judges. The winners took home certificates and trophies, cash prizes of Rs 10,000 each sponsored by Everest Bank, an annual subscription of VOW magazine and a special gift hamper from the title sponsor Nepal Unilever Limited. VOW Corporate Associate Editor, Charu Chadha shared, "This platform was created seven years ago with the implicit belief that young women must bring forward their achievements, talk about their dreams and aspirations, share their views and personalities, and collaborate to become influential leaders whose voices will tomorrow be heard in all corridors of power and decision making."
82 | VOW | june 2011
Praying for Japan
DREAMS, a newly formed not-for-profit organisation working for the betterment of the environment, organised “Light a Candle and Pray for Japan” on 22 April at Dashrath Stadium for the victims of the devastating earthquake and tsunami that took place on 11 March, 2011. In the event attended by students, socialites, business people and media persons, the chief guest was Chief of Nepal Army Chattra Man Singh Gurung. The event started with chants by Buddhist monks and prayers for the victims of Japan's catastrophe. The attendees later lighted a candle each and signed a condolence book, which was later handed over to Asami Nakabai, representative of the Japanese Embassy.
Nepalese Printmakers
On 29 April, Artist Proof Art Gallery in association with Artist Proof Prints Gallery, Anterwarpen, Belgium organised a unique exhibition titled, "Nepalese Printmakers" at New Orleans Café. Ragini Upadhyay Grela, a noted artist and the curator of the new gallery informed that this is the first printmaking art gallery and exhibition in a SAARC country. The exhibition showcased 29 paintings by eight artists—Shanker Raj Suwal, Ragini Upadhayay Grela, Uma Shanker Shah, Dr Seema Saha, Saur Ganga Darshandhari, Santosh Dhital, Bipana Maharjan and Rukumani Shrestha. Ang Tshering Sherpa, Honorary Consul of Belgium inaugurated the gallery and the exhibition.
subscribe online: www.vownepal.com | VOW | 83
spices
'NepalUnites', an initiative started through social networking sites, brought together thousands of young patriotic Nepalis together on 21 May at Khula Manch to urge the government to form the constitution on time, shouting slogans like, 'No work. No pay,' 'My Nepal is my responsibility.' There was an air of seriousness, patriotism and passion amongst the protesters ranging from youngsters to the crème de la crème of the society to prominent people from the media who had come together to express that they are not at ease with the poor performance of the government. 'NepalUnites London' also organised a protest rally on 27 May in front of the Nepali Embassy London for the same cause.
Salbata Ghimire crowned Kid Queen Nepal 2011
Nepalese Fashion House organised the 9th Sani Housing Kid Queen Nepal 2011 at Nepal Academy Hall on 30 April. Out of 41 contestants, Salbata Ghimire won the prestigious title while Sargam Basnet and Shristi Tamang won the 1st and 2nd runnerup title respectively. The contestants, between 9-19 years old, were from 32 different schools.
Kalashaktishwari: Celebrate Being a Woman
Centre for Health, Education, Training and National Advocacy (CHETANA) presented a splendid painting exhibition titled "Kalashaktishwari: Celebrate Being a Woman" on 8 May at Newa Chen Art Gallery. The exhibition portrayed the strength, perseverance and dedication of the participating women artists—Sharada Chitrakar, Shashi Kala Tiwari, Shobha Adhikary, Sarita Dangol, Jasmine Rajbhandari, Sunita Maharjan, Gyanu Gurung, and Sushila Singh—who listened and followed the voices of their hearts. Chandni Joshi, Vice Chair, South Asia Partnership International (SAPI) inaugurated the exhibition.
©VOW photofile/Shivalal Shrestha
NepalUnites to urge the government to act up!
Nepal International Indigenous Film Festival held
Marking its fifth year, the Nepal International Indigenous Film Festival was held from 22 till 25 April. Organised by Indigenous Film Archive, 42 films from 20 countries were screened at the City Hall and Nepal Tourism Board. Along with the screening of the films and documentaries, the event also showcased folk dance performances, food stalls, cultural floats and wearable arts.
Pigeon for peace
Wi t h t h e a i m o f pressurising political leaders to complete drafting the constitution on time, pigeons were flown by members of Nepal Pigeon Keepers' Association (NPKA) at a programme organised on 23 April at the residence of Gorakh Sumsher JB Rana, advisor of NPKA. Buddhist monks also chanted prayers of peace at the programme which also marked the inauguration of the 12th National Pigeon Flying Competition.
Of stories and people
To commemorate the 150th birth anniversary of Rabindranath Tagore, a festival was organised by Anandalok, a Nepali musical group, the Embassy of India and the BP Koirala India-Nepal Foundation at the Nepal Academy Hall. President, Dr Ram Baran Yadav was chief guest at the event and inaugurated the festival. The festival went on from 7 till 10 May. The first day of the festival saw Rabindrasangeet being performed and in the next two days, four short award winning films based on Tagore's short stories were screened to the delight of its viewers. On the last day, Ashesh Malla presented a play based on Tagore's work.
Shubharambha—The Musical Journey in collaboration with Nepal Bharat Library hosted a Write and Recital on 23 April to celebrate World Book Day. It was a delightful intimate event where writers and poets like Geeta Tripathee, Shree Om Shrestha, Kishor Pahadi, Sanat Kumar Basti and Prakash Sayami shared their poems and stories, and talked about Indian artists' inspiration and impact on Nepali literature and society. Noted novelist Jagdish Ghimire was chief guest at the event. 84 | VOW | june 2011
Celebrating 150 years of Tagore
Inspirations from Nepal
Lieutenant Colonel Mark D Vickers QOGLR put up his first solo art exhibition titled, 'Inspirations from Nepal' at Park gallery. The exhibition opened on 24 April and closed on 6 May. His collections were of oil, acrylic and water colour paintings. John Tucknott MBE, British Ambassador opened the exhibition. 50 percent of the sales proceedings were donated to HOPAD Child and Women Promotion Society.
Let the good times roll
To celebrate their fourth anniversary on 7 May, Children for Green New Nepal (CGNN), a non-profit organisation that aims to spread awareness about the environment among youth, organised an event in which its president, Bijay Prajapati made a presentation outlining the organisation's goals, values and achievements till date. The event also saw Ciney Gurung, popular singer and environment ambassador of CGNN perform along with dance performances by children.
Mega Bank's mega photo exhibition
Professional and amateur photo-graphers competed in the first Mega Bank Photo Competition 2067. The photo exhibition was organised with the help of Photojournalist Club (PJ Club) which is a nonprofit organisation promoting photojournalism in Nepal. The five-day-long exhibition which ended on 16 May had a total of 141 photos on display selected from around 4989 photographs that were submitted by nearly 600 photographers. The exhibition saw President, Ram Baran Yadav, Chief Justice, Khilraj Regmi, former Prime Minister, Madhav Kumar Nepal and Maoist Vice-Chairman, Dr Baburam Bhattari appreciating the photographs. The award for the Photo of the Year was won by Yalu Joshi. The total prize for the competition was worth Rs 400,000.
Personality Enrichment and Interaction Programme held
In its latest edition of Personality Enrichment and Interaction Programme held on 9 May, Namuna College of Fashion Technology (NCFT) featured Sadichha Shrestha, Miss Nepal 2010 at its guest speaker. She shared her experiences of the Miss Nepal and the Miss World pageants as well as the responsibilities that come with the privilege of being a beauty queen. Talking about fashion, glamour and its relation to boosting self-confidence, she interacted with the students and made it a fun event for all. subscribe online: www.vownepal.com | VOW | 85
serving for 10
• Lamb fillet medallions • Parma ham • Arborio rice • Saffron • Onion • Garlic • Chicken stock • Cream • Butter • Marsala sauce # • Sage • Egg • Parmesan • Fresh Asparagus • Red peppers thick strips • Baby carrot peeled and trimmed • Long French beans or snow peas • Baby corn • Leeks stem • Leeks leave • Grated cheddar cheese
50gr x 10 140gr 250gr 1/4g 100gr 20gr 500ml 100ml 100gr 250ml 10gr 3 each 120gr 1kg 300 gm 20 nos 400 gm 20 nos 500gm 200gm 150 gm
method Sauté onions and garlic add rice, white wine and chicken stock, season and cook to all stock is absorbed. Remove; add in cream, Parmesan and eggs season if required, set on a tray and even out to 15cm high. Once rice is cold and set cut into circles place on oiled tray and reheat in the oven. Roll Parma ham around Lamb and panfry. Monte Marsala jus and add sage. Separately prepare vegetable for the complete set of main course Plate Trim and make same size of all above mentioned vegetable and blanch them till 70% done and season with salt, Pepper, honey , fresh basil and glaze with garlic butter then make a bunch of seasoned vegetable and tie with blanched leeks leaves and gratin ate with finely grated cheddar cheese and keep on side. Finally combine all the prepared items (meat/ starch/vegetable/ sauce) together as per own creation on the dinner Plate for 10 people. Note:- for the marshalla sauce # Rosemary fresh Marsala wine Parsley chopped Garlic chopped Chopped shallots Butte Oil (olive or sunflower) Lamb stock Sliced button mushroom All purpose flour Salt and pepper, to taste
250 ml 2tsp 2tsp 5 tsp 3tsp 3tsp 500ml 200gm 150 gm l
Culinary journey started from India (Chennai) Worked in various Hotels such as Sheraton, Park Plaza,Park Inn in India The Kohinoor – under Fabulous Paradise SDN.BHD- Malaysia Executive Sous Chef in Soaltee Crowne Plaza Kathmandu,Nepal
Yuba Raj Pokhrel, Chef
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Ingredients
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Norvic alerts people on hypertension, 'the silent killer'
Norvic International Hospital organised awareness programmes on hypertension in 10 different locations around Kathmandu on 17 May, World Hypertension Day. This day highlights the dangers of preventable diseases such as stroke, heart and kidney disease. 17 May is internationally utilised to create awareness among the public so that it leads to prevention, detection and treatment. This year's slogan was, "Know your numbers and target your blood pressure." People in selected areas were offered free blood pressure check-ups while around 100 people were screened for BP and blood sugar at the hospital itself.
A musical evening with Aavaas
On 5 May, Nepa~laya hosted a paleti session where singer Aavaas's new album Lamppost was also launched. The album is a collection of 10 songs and is his second offering after a gap of seven years from his first album. During the paleti session, Aavaas entertained his listeners with some of his songs.
Paving a way towards healthy happy Nepal
If things go smoothly the health care system in Nepal might get a fresh boost with the help of AMRI Hospitals, Kolkata. Known for its dedication and excellent medical services, AMRI Hospitals are fast spreading in eastern India. On 8 May, doctors representing AMRI as well as doctors from Advanced Poly Clinic announced, in a press meet, the launch of AMRI Women and Children Hospital and Advanced Poly Clinic branch in Pokhara.
CWIN launches report on sexual abuse of street boys
Child Workers in Nepal Concerned Centre (CWIN) with the support of Save the Children carried out a research on 'Sexual abuse of street boys in the Kathmandu Valley'. The research exposed various vulnerabilities and sexual abuse existent on the streets of Kathmandu. Susan Grace, the Australian Ambassador was chief guest at the report launch. The programme took place at Hotel Himalaya on 5 May.
Debutant singer Poonam Prakash releases album
Singer Poonam Prakash entered the music industry with the release of his solo album 'SARAS'. Gramo Music and Entertainment organised the event at Picasso 'Artist de la Cuisine' on 17 May. ŠVOW photofile/Sanchit/Nibendra/Sanu/Shankar subscribe online: www.vownepal.com | VOW | 87
Your guide to happening movies, music and books What’s New
movie
What’s Hot
What’s Selling
Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides Director: Rob Marshall Starring: Johnny Depp, Geoffrey Rush, Penelope Cruz Genre: Action, adventure, fantasy Captain Jack Sparrow is back on the silver screen for the fourth time. Serving us once again a tale infused with humour, adventure and a possible romance, Johnny Depp weaves his magic. Penelope Cruz has us excited as the new valued addition to the film. The fourth sequel is about Jack Sparrow going on a journey to find out the Fountain of Youth after Angelica (Penelope Cruz) forces him aboard the ship Queen Anne’s Revenge of the legendary pirate Blackbeard. Along with Captain Hector Barbossa and Jack’s long-time friend, Joshamee Gibbs, the presence of a mysterious mermaid (Astrid Bergès-Frisbey) promises to make all of this interesting. The script is said to be inspired by the 1987 historical fantasy novel On Stranger Tides by Tim Powers.
music
Glee: The Music Presents the Warblers Genre: Pop
The Warblers, an all-male singing group, from the hit musical comedy series “Glee” give us here covers of 13 popular songs. Each song is given a new exciting twist, as is the trademark of “Glee”. The hit Katy Perry track Teenage Dream and Destiny’s Child’s Bills, Bills, Bills have had a makeover in the hands of the Warblers. Another wonderful song is the Train’s Hey, Soul Sister which sounds amazing. Of course, away from the show’s narrative, songs like Maroon 5’s Misery maybe too much for some of us, but over all still worth a listen.
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo Author: Stieg Larsson
This award-winning crime novel is the first of the interesting trilogy, the “Millennium Series”. The plot starts with the protagonist, journalist Mikael Blomkvist facing professional ruin. Facing imminent jail time along with a low phase in his career, he finds himself intrigued by an assignment: to clear the mystery behind the disappearance of the niece of Henrik Vanger, former CEO of Vanger Enterprises. The niece, Harriet, disappeared one day around four decades ago and Vanger begins fanatically collecting all the information pertinent to that mysterious day. Blomkvist takes on the task of writing the Vanger family history as a cover for the investigation. He spends a year with the Vangers and with the help of a private investigator Lisbeth Salander, takes on the task of solving the case.
subscribe online: www.vownepal.com | VOW | 89
"Music is an integral part of my life" Dr Sanjeev Upreti Writer
Well read and eloquent, Dr Sanjeev Upreti is an interesting individual. It is fascinating to hear him express his views which he does with carefully chosen words… a question or two thrown in and a beguiling smile. Armed with a PhD from Brown University and two master degrees, one from TU and the other from the State University of New York, he has been sharing his vast knowledge with students at the Central Department of English in Tribhuvan University for the past 20 years. He is also a columnist for Kantipur Daily, playwright, and a theatre artist. In 2007, he authored the popular novel Ghanchakkar which left an indelible mark on its readers. The novel had political undertones and propelled the writer to instantaneous limelight. VOW talked to this versatile man of words about his thoughts and taste in music, and many other things in between…
Excerpts How did your interest in the creative field manifest?
I spent a very lonely childhood as I was an only child. My father was in the Nepali Congress during the Panchayat era and was posted to remote places like Humla and Jumla. There were few schools, and those too were very far away. I had no option but to stay home and read. And that is how I got initiated into reading which later translated into my love for writing. I write plays and often act in some plays in Gurukul. However I never act in plays I have written myself.
What is music to you?
Music is an integral part of my life. I have come to understand it to be a meditative experience. Good music awakens the humanitarian in us. I think all lawmakers should listen to good music. Then there would be no violence in this world. And while the effect of music might not be a direct, one to one thing, I am firm of the belief that it helps eventually make us more creative and expressive. Music relaxes me and helps me with my writing. 90 | VOW | june 2011
My wife is a testimony to the importance of music in my life: When I was pursuing my masters in the United States I was trying to convince a young lady to marry me. I played the guitar and the harmonium and sang songs for her... and as you can see I did succeed! (smiles)
What kind of music do you like?
While I enjoy all kinds of music there are some genres that I am partial to. I like instrumental music, both Western and Eastern. Well, instrumental because sometimes words tend to distract me. I also enjoy listening to classical songs and instrumental Jazz. From the West, I like Tchaikovsky while in the East the magic created by Zakir Hussain’s tabla, Bismillah Khan’s shehnai and Ravi Shankar’s sitar is almost incomparable. Also in Nepal there are some good classical players. I used to regularly attend the musical soiree organised in Kirateshwor every full moon night. However I have not been able to make it there these days. ‘Sukarma’ frequently plays there, and ‘Kutumba’ is another favourite of mine. Recently I listened to a new group called ‘Maya’. Although I have listened to them only once, it was an amazing experience. Apart from these, I like old Nepali and Hindi songs and gazals.
A song that… gire
mjhim Relates to your life…“Ri I sang nzil. sawan…” from the film Ma e. wif my s res this song to imp
… “Ritu Is your all time favourite and
Thapa haruma timi…” by Arun by Jagjit Singh …” zar Na Si ki “Jhuki Jhu
Inspires you…
Most memorable performance or concert you have attended?
I really enjoy Jazzmandu, the annual Jazz fest in Kathmandu. I have not been able to attend each festival but I really enjoyed the ones that I have attended. The last Jazzmandu was a very enjoyable and pleasurable experience. A lot of saxophone is used in Jazz, and the sound of the saxophone goes to my heart. Maybe that is why I like Jazz!
What do you think is the relationship between music and theatre?
Music is very instrumental in theatre. From the plays that I have been a part of, whether the ones I have written or those I have acted in, or even the ones I have watched, I have realised that theatre needs music to enhance its story, to take it to the next level. In theatre there are different art forms combined: writing, lighting, stage design and music. Music creates mood—good, bad, happy, sad… whatever is required. Also background music plays a vital role.
“Pyaarka pehla khat likhne Jagjit Singh
Uplifts your mood…
“Timilai ma k bhanu...” by
mein…” by
Narayan Gopal
You find melancholic…
Jagjit Singh “Milkar juda huye…” by
ur You would dedicate to yo country…
I listened During the Jana Andolan m the film to “Gau gau bata utha” fro times. It’s of ber Balidaan quite a num dedicate to to g son e riat quite an approp my country. Text» Pramila Rai Photos» Shankar Bir Byanjankar
subscribe online: www.vownepal.com | VOW | 91
new spark
Aishwarya Diamonds: Symbol of Pride! Check out the newest diamond brand, 'Aishwarya' launched by Shree Riddhi Siddhi Jewellers and make special moments last forever! Gift your loved ones Aishwarya necklaces, finger rings, bracelets, bangles, tops and pendants to treasure for a lifetime. The company also provides International Gemological Laboratories and Institute (IGL&L) certification to its costumers along with buyback guarantee. Shop No 1, Bishal Bazaar, New Road Tel: 4243184 Open: 11 am to 7:30 pm, Sunday to Friday
Make Yoga apart of your life at Pranamaya
MMA at Rage Fitness Tough times don't last, tough people do. Try out Mixed Martial Arts (MMA), an extreme exercise at Rage Fitness under the supervision of MMA expert Sandesh Palungwa Limbu. MMA is a full contact combat sport which is fast gaining immense popularity across the globe. Thasikhel, Lalitpur For further details or to enrol, contact: 5002051, 9851006697 or log on to www.ragefitnessnepal.com
Lakas Café and Bar
The friendly and safe environment of Pranamaya Yoga Kathmandu makes it the apt place to practise yoga. Under the supervision of experienced teachers, Pranamaya offers a variety of daily classes, workshops and retreats to help rejuvenate your mind and body. Special yoga classes are provided to children, postnatal mother and pregnant women as well. Join in and find out what style of yoga you'll enjoy the most. For further details log on to www.pranamaya-yoga.com Moksh Complex, Pulchowk Tel: 9851002920
This cottage-style café is a cosy place to enjoy with family, friends and loved ones. Lakas offers Continental cuisine along with an array of Newari dishes! You can also go fishing or relax in one of the luxurious cottages flanked by fields. Siddhipur, Lalitpur Tel: 9849341452, 9841508335, 9851012561, 9803211918 Open: 8 am to 8 pm, seven days a week
Bossini's Nepal Tourism Year 2011 campaign Now here’s your opportunity to promote Nepal Tourism Year 2011 in style. Just grab a special edition Bossini t-shirt available at their outlets and spread the word.
Bossini, Durbar Marg Tel: 4246796 Open: 10:30 am to 8 pm, seven days a week
92 | VOW | june 2011
Get fresh at the Oxygen Lounge Bar!
One of the latest lounge bars in Pokhara, Oxygen is 'the' happening place to enjoy with friends and family. Keep the good times rolling with live music, healthy food— Mexican, Italian and Continental delicacies, and a wide range of beverages. The beautifully designed bar easily accommodates 120 people and is the ideal place to enjoy the beautiful Lakeside. Lakeside, Pokhara Tel: 9804103258 Open: 8 am to 11:30 pm, seven days a week
The answer is Urban Design
Thinking of redesigning your house but not sure where to get the latest designer furniture? The answer is Urban Design! This new furniture store launched by CASA: The Home Store offers you a contemporary and modern urban lifestyle. On offer are original designs in chairs, sofas, coffee tables, consoles, side tables, shelves, cabinets, beds, breakfast trays, study tables, mirrors, and original art work. IV Floor, Ranabhatt Complex, Anamnagar Tel: 4102684 Open: 10:30 am to 7 pm, Sunday to Friday
3-Stripes now at City Centre Adidas, one of the world’s leading sports brands, has opened its exclusive performance store at NLIC City Centre. Occupying an area of 1400 sq feet, this global sportswear store in Nepal features a range of latest footwear, apparels, accessories and gears.
First floor, NLIC City Centre, Kamalpokhari Tel: 4011502 Open: 10 am to 8 pm, seven days a week
Bluebird Mart: Shop till you drop Spread over 8,000 sq feet, the newly opened Bluebird Mart is the right place to shop for your necessities under one roof and at affordable rates! Enjoy shopping for your goodies in a whole new style. Top floor, Bluebird Mall, Tripureshwor Tel: 4245726 Open: 10 am to 9 pm, seven days a week
Fish pedicure at Butterfly Beauty Salon
If you are looking for a complete beauty salon for skin and body then Butterfly Beauty Salon is the place to go. The salon offers all kinds of treatments, however its speciality is the fish pedicure—the first of its kind in Nepal. Go along with a bunch of friends and enjoy this tickling treatment. The salon also has separate sections for men and women. First floor, NLIC City Centre Kamalpokhari Tel: 4011660 Open: 11 am to 7 pm, seven days a week
It is never too late to think and plan for your retirement! It's always wise to start early—no one likes to lose financial independence in one's life so better gear up and fill up the pension plan for a financially secured future. This plan, initiated by Prime Life Insurance Company, will provide you with financial security after an active work-life. You can either opt for a guaranteed lifetime annuity or return of the insurance amount with bonus. For further details, contact Prime Life Insurance Company, Hattisar Tel: 4441778, 4441664 Open: 9:30 am to 5:30 pm, Sunday to Thursday (On Fridays, it's open till 3:30 pm)
– Evelyn Moktan
© VOW photofile/Sanu Raja Maharjan
Start your pension plan now!
star signs
Dtoress
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Every sign loves certain colours, styles, and even designs of different time periods. If you know what you’re dealing with, you can dress for success in love both during the hunt and after the prey has happily surrendered.
Aries (21 Mar – 19 Apr)
Red, red, and red. Men just can’t resist it, so if you want to be irresistible, do it up from your head to your toes. Oh, and Aries rules steel and iron, so don’t forget the spiked heels.
Taurus (20 Apr – 20 May)
Taurus is a fixed Earth Sign. It rules spring, too, so think of that sweet, earthy smell after it rains. It's all about tans, greens, and the dark brown of the earth herself. Dress yourself so you remind him of the earth, and you'll be his own personal goddess.
Gemini (21 May – 20 Jun)
Life is like a perpetual amusement park for these easily bored signs, so if you want to capture their interest and keep it, make your wardrobe as diverse as they are. No, it won’t be easy, but think of all the fun you’ll have shopping!
Cancer (21 Jun – 22 Jul)
Cancer is notoriously fond of home and family, but that doesn’t mean they’re into aprons. They do like blues, and other water colours that cater to their love of soothing and being cared for.
94 | VOW | june 2011
Leo (23 Jul – 22 Aug)
Sagittarius (22 Nov – 21 Dec)
Leo rules gold, and they just love sunny, bright colours. If you want to catch his fiery eye, deck yourself in golden hues. If you can’t afford accessories of the real thing, at least be sure your clothing includes gold—oh, and red, too, since the Lion is a Fire sign.
They’re notoriously casual, so if you want their affection, don’t be too dressed up, and don’t ever expect them to dress up too formally unless they’re bored and they suggest it. Your ideal outfit would be jeans, nice sneakers, and a fitted t-shirt.
Virgo (23 Aug – 22 Sep)
Capricorn (22 Dec – 19 Jan)
Libra (23 Sep – 22 Oct)
Aquarius (20 Jan – 18 Feb)
They’re notorious for an almost obsessive love of neatness, so check yourself for lint and wrinkles before you make your approach. Don’t worry if he's not quite as neat and pressed. This just means that he was probably in a hurry to meet you.
Balance is what this sign is seeking in all things. So to get his attention, be sure you match. That means a complementary belt, shoes, and bag, not to mention any other more “personal” accessories. And no loud colours. Librans love subtlety.
Scorpio (23 Oct – 21 Nov)
Black is their colour - and don’t think they won’t notice you if you’re not wearing something more striking. In their minds the little black dress or the elegant black suit is far more striking than someone decked out colourful as a clown.
Unlike their Sagittarian neighbours, this sign just loves being dressed up. If you meet him in an official capacity, he’ll just love to see you looking sharp and formal. He adores uniforms, including the standard pinstripes. It tells them you’re assertive and successful.
Got any 60s-era clothes? Know where there's a vintage shop—that's the way to your Aquarian's heart. Either that, or try a funky yet sophisticated hairstyle no one else has. He wants everything about him, including his partner, to reflect how different he is.
Pisces (19 Feb – 20 Mar)
Soft and natural—that’s what Pisces love. The thing is, he also loves glamour, because it helps him escape reality. If you want to keep him around, you’ll have to use every cosmetic trick in the book— and not just makeup. Clothing can make a new statement everyday.
subscribe online: www.vownepal.com | VOW | 95