Mark Your Territory! respectfully, of course.

By Jaya Lockhart (FBM ‘24)

“Marking territory” is often associated with an animal of some kind, taking what is most valuable to them and hiding something from anyone that might threaten to take it from them. We all have experienced our fair share of “marking” — our food, our clothes, our work and even our relationships.

We are territorial beings, we walk around confidently believing “what’s mine is mine and what’s yours is also mine.” We can so easily get consumed with what is ours that we had to actually be taught that “sharing is caring”. The question is, when did the consideration of others become the inconsideration of ourselves? When are you allowed to say no because your yes is wearing thin?

Marking your territory is less about taking something you deem holds great value and hiding it away for safekeeping, but more about YOU standing up for YOU.

In today’s society the line between loving others and loving yourself is so faint that it makes it challenging to actually decipher how to set healthy boundaries. It makes perfect sense, since you wake up with you, go to bed with you, work with you, breathe with you, even take vacations with you, how could you really not start with loving… you? The true answer is, you can very easily when you give more than you ever receive. Mark your territory and set the standard, take inventory of your life and what you’re pouring out. True lovers & friends, they’ll meet you where you’re at and that is enough.

By Grace O’Hanlon (FBM ‘26)

There is a dark cloud of tribulation residing over the dating culture of New York City. It’s hard enough for people in their late 20s and early 30s to find a partner, where’s the hope for college students?

In our generation, there is a common fear of commitment proven in the average lifespan of relationships. Think of your own friend group, how many of them have been in a relationship for longer than five months? The universal fear of risk, the increasingly high standards, and unfavorable dating apps, make the pool of eligible singles appear alarmingly formidable.

Is the Old Hollywood, ‘Breakfast at Tiffany’s’, ‘When Harry Met Sally’ love, dead? When will we learn to stop romanticizing heartbreak, and the manic dating culture of Sex in the City, to refocus our priorities on what we actually want in relationships?

I’ve done extensive research and interviewed students across Manhattan to answer our most pressing questions.

Dating platforms provide users with an abundance of seemingly endless options, yet the success rate among the people I’ve interviewed was miniscule. The majority unanimously agreed that apps like Hinge provide low quality interactions. I went to the FIT, NYU, Parsons, and the Fordham campuses in order to ask students what their biggest issue with meeting people was.

The average NYU student answered “I’m afraid to approach people.” This can be understandable for freshmen and sophomores attempting to navigate Washington Square Park, but eventually you would think they would gain the confidence, right?

The average Fordham student said, “I am afraid of rejection.” When I asked the average FIT student what their biggest problem with the dating culture was, the most common answers were, “I can’t seem to meet anyone” and “My standards are too high.”

Of course fashion students would have high standards for their significant other, it’s like that Clueless quote, “You see how picky I am about my shoes, and they only go on my feet!” The answers from Parsons were varied but most similar to that of FIT.

NYU had the largest amount of relationships which made sense considering the sheer size of the student body. After speaking to singletons, I decided to shift my focus to lovely couples. I wondered if they would have the answers to where and how we should meet people. The concordant solution was this: if you want an old fashioned New York romance, you need to reach out to your friends.

Fifteen years ago, the majority of Americans met their partner through a mutual friend or acquaintance. It makes sense why these relationships are so successful considering that a mutual friend means you forgo the risk of unanswered texts, and standing outside of a restaurant when your Hinge date is a no show. There is a certain air of responsibility placed on both members in a relationship when you have a mutual friend in the mix. It’s basically the best insurance factor you could have in the dating world.

If you have reached out to your close friends and the answer is ultimately no, hope is not lost. I kept track of the most common settings couples mentioned when I asked them where they met their partner. This all depends on the type of person you are attracted to, but nevertheless, they seem to work the best for people wishing to meet others naturally.

Option one: Join a gym or workout group. If you like running, consider a running club. When you are forced to interact with people in a setting like a workout class, there are a multitude of conversation starters you can uncover. Also, you can build up the confidence to ask them a question if you’re forced to spend an allotted amount of time together.

Option Two: Dog parks. I’m not kidding. Someone told me this was the best option in an interview. If you don’t have a dog, find a friend who does. If you don’t like animals this might not be the best option for you. Pick a sunny day and remember smiling goes a long way.

Option Three: Pizza places in the NYU vicinity: The best options I’ve uncovered are: The line in front of John’s of Bleecker Pizza on a Friday or Saturday night, Lombardi’s Pizza in Nolita, and Prince Street Pizza. Worst comes to worst, at least you got to eat some solid food.

Dating apps are creating a generation that is afraid of vulnerability, and true commitment. Putting yourself out there can be your own way of pushing against what society tells you is the modern day “normal.” If you feel dispirited but part of you is still hoping for that ‘old Hollywood perception of romance, don’t give up on dating just yet. In a city of 8.4 million people, there has to be someone out there who wants what no one else can offer: you.