[New] 8 Reasons Why You’re Not the Toxic One YOU DO NOT RELATE TO ANTI-HERO

BY GRACIE KIBORT

Have you been called a drama queen once or twice? Is your name featured on the hit list of not one but two ex-friends from high school? Secretly believe you’re too good for everyone around you? You can’t possibly be the problem! Let me tell you why.

1. You don’t gossip, you vent It’s different, I swear. People should know better than to cross you, and when they do, it’s your right to divulge the situation to your roommate. And your mutual friends. And your boyfriend. And his roommates. Someone once told you it was okay to YikYak about someone’s physical description and personal info. It’s very cathartic and anonymous, don’t worry about it.

2. You are above drama Ugh, the worst! No matter how hard you try to avoid it, drama has always clung to your leggings like the hair of your Goldendoodle. It isn’t your fault! It just has a way of finding you like your ex on campus. Remind yourself that the cream always rises to the top, and make sure to only vent your frustrations to a few (ten’s a few, right?) close friends.

3. You put yourself first You’re number one and won’t be number two. You’ve never questioned your self-worth for an instant, and understand feelings have to be hurt to protect your own. It’s not that friends are collateral, but like Abby Lee Miller once said “Everyone’s replaceable.” We know who’s top dog is around here, and sometimes it takes an honest person to sacrifice others to save what really matters, yourself. Without a doubt, your oxygen mask is going on first.

4. Particular not picky

The constant accusations of being picky drive you insane! You aren’t picky, you’re particular! So what? You like things the way you like them. You hate skinny jeans, Taylor Swift, and Adidas Superstars. Chipped manicures make you gag. In fact, it grosses you out to have them within your vicinity. You have definitive specifications, and even though you know you’re particular, you have the right taste. Better taste. You crave control like your Juul, and wholeheartedly believe the world would be better and prettier if it was in your jurisdiction.

7.

Honesty is the best policy

Let’s clear the air: honesty ≠ being mean. The first time you saw “Glee,” you immediately identified with Santana Lopez. Just like the cheerio, people love you because you keep it real and are hilarious. You’ve been described as blunt, a bitch, and even a scum-sucking road w****. But you can’t help it, you’re fluent in one language, and one language only—honesty. You have a unique tendency to always be right, and people like to weaponize it. They need to lighten up, let it roll right off your back, girl. They’re probably just resentful because you’re prettier.

5.

Quick with the scissors

Cutting people off is your forte. Loyalty is a requirement from your besties, and if betrayed, there is little hesitation. The receipts of ex-friends and hookups are lengthy, but you refuse to keep any toxic energy around. It’s bad for the vibes! If it is not serving you, it’s stifling you. Haven’t you heard it’s impossible to keep a snake as a pet?

8. Toxic positivity isn’t a real thing

6.

One of the guys

Girls are so much work. They are dramatic and sooo fake. Luckily, the guys love having you around. They think of you as one of their own! You’re always invited to game day and the pregame. It’s such a bummer when they invite their girlfriends. Girlfriends are always so jealous of you, because you’re not like *them*. It’s not their fault they’re in love with you or something!

You’re lucky to be so fantastically blessed physically, socially, financially, mentally, etc., etc. Most people aren’t as fortunate as you. To cope, you spread positivity like COVID, hacking and sneezing smiles in every which way. You’re sympathetic and helpful. “Aw, you’re still single? Do you think it’s because of your acne? You should wash your face more!” Whenever the going gets tough you tell your friends, “You might’ve brought this on yourself, but negativity only breeds more negativity. Smile more!” The self-described ray-of-sunshine. Why bother frowning when your life smells so sweet? It causes wrinkles!

Don’t freak, clearly, this isn’t a “you” problem. Objectively speaking, life would be bitter, sad, and uglier without you. Girl world is cutthroat, and you’re just doing you.

If you’ve been around for at least the last decade, you’ve likely seen or at the very least heard of the cult classic chick flick, “Mean Girls.” The 2004 film, starring Lindsay Lohan and Rachel McAdams, tells the story of teenager Cady Heron who was educated in Africa by her biologist parents. When her family relocates to the suburbs of Illinois, Cady finally gets to experience public school and gets a quick primer on the cruel, tacit laws of popularity that divide her fellow students into tightly-knit cliques. She unwittingly finds herself in the good graces of an elite group of cool students dubbed, “the Plastics,” but Cady soon realizes how her shallow group of new friends earned this nickname.

“Mean Girls” immaculately portrays the American high school queen bee as the stereotypical lipgloss-wearing, designer-bag-toting, boyfriendstealing, supervillain of its plot. It was iconic for its time not only because of its moral messaging about why unkindness and judgmental behavior were not okay, but it also gave young girls an understandable antagonist. It effectively instilled in us that the dark side of womanhood is catty, conniving competitiveness.

While “Mean Girls” is pop culture satire, it is also emblematic of a larger problem with modern-day feminism. Even as a society still dominated by patriarchal values, there is no denying the great strides that we have made for women’s rights. However, in the quest for liberation–whether that be for reproductive rights, closing the wage gap, or the promotion of women in leadership positions–we seem to have lost our sense of what it means to be a feminist.

What began as “girl boss feminism,” an empowered campaign for a woman’s right to professional opportunity beyond two kids and a white picket fence, has somehow devolved into an averseness to, and even shaming of, the women who choose not to pursue a career and/or chose to adopt more traditional values like staying home to raise a family. The irony lies in the fact that modern-day feminism should regard a woman’s right to choose, but it appears that those choices consist of prescribed ideas of what an empowered woman should look like. Under the insidious guise of progressivism, misogyny has pervaded the feminist movement to pit us against each other and make us believe that the “mean girl” is the woman who is either too competitive, too career-oriented, or too traditional, and perhaps even brainwashed. Internalized misogyny may not steal your quarterback boyfriend or put your name in the Burn Book, but its ability to masquerade as contemporary feminism makes it far more of a threat than Regina George.

If Regina George would have had access to social media, the Burn Book would have spread a lot further than it did in the movie. Social media has played a major role in the toxicity of modern feminism. If you go onto almost any social media site, the wall will be filled with girls posing in scandalous clothes that they bought off a fast fashion website, especially during the weekends. Hundreds of comments and likes will be on that one post, feeding into this idea that if girls keep posting these somewhat fake photos, they are loved by mostly complete strangers.

If this is something you have done before, I pose this question to you: is it worth it? How hard do you have to try to make sure the angle is right? How often do you check on the post afterward to see who liked/commented?

We are all guilty of this. We all want people to think what we’re doing is cool and fun. We want people to love us for who we are, but sometimes that gets lost in the mix of it all. Girls become obsessed with the idea of fake perfection and strive for the attention that others pour down their throats. The more “likes” they get, the hungrier they are to seem even more perfect. If anybody sees them slip up for even a second, everything they have worked so hard for could be over. But this has to be pure hell for them. Putting on a show for everyone around them has to be awful.