Beyond Living: Thriving

What does it mean to not simply live but to truly thrive?

To transcend daily drudgeries—early-morning alarms, bumper-to-bumper traffic, endless to-do lists, and piles of laundry —to enthusiastically embrace opportunities for growth and enrichment? Because though this world may not be our final home, we were put here with a purpose: to prosper—and to help others do the same.

Through their life’s work, six Walla Walla University alumni have uncovered the secrets to thriving—whether it be finding your purpose, overcoming challenges, or simply getting a better night’s sleep. Let their experiences help you live your very best life.

by Amy Wilkinson

Nurturing Spiritual Well-Being

Paul Dybdahl ’92Theology professorCollege Place, Washington

“I've had people say over and over again, ‘I've never had a conversation like this with my parents before,’” says Paul Dybdahl.

These conversations are sparked by coursework in classes Dybdahl teaches as a professor of mission and New Testament at Walla Walla University. He asks students to interview someone else about their spiritual journey and repeatedly, often after interviewing someone from their own families, students are shocked about what they discover about others’ beliefs and spiritual journeys—in a positive way!

Dybdahl is convinced that this sharing of deeply personal religious beliefs and experiences is often neglected, yet incredibly valuable. “It connects us with people we may have assumed were fundamentally different from us, we’re surprised by people we thought were just like us, and it sharpens our own ideas and challenges us to live more faithful lives,” he says.

Dybdahl was born in Thailand to missionary parents and lived in Asia for the first eight years of his life. In part, it was these early years and time spent as a student missionary teaching in Thailand while in college that pushed him to consider his faith from a more global perspective. That sparked a continued interest in telling the story of Jesus across cultural barriers and eventually led Dybdahl to earn a doctorate in missiology.

If everyone took just three minutes of quietness every day, I think the world would be a different place and a better place—a more thriving place.

In 2017, Dybdahl published a book and presented a lecture to the university campus exploring how interaction with those of other faiths can actually strengthen our walk with Jesus. “I think we tend to be afraid of people who are not of our religion,” he says. “We don’t need to be afraid. If we listen, we can be blessed, and though we are different, there is common ground that we share.”

While Dybdahl is quick to admit that there are many ways to invest in spiritual growth, there are several practices he has found personally meaningful. Participating in a spiritually focused small group or having a prayer partner can have a profound impact, he believes. Using varied biblical postures in prayer; memorizing and reciting passages of scripture; and establishing spiritual routines are all part of the Christian tradition, but it took seeing their prevalence in other cultures for Dybdahl to pay more attention to their significance.

“I always thought of ritual as negative, but the Bible is full of rituals. I think a wise person will intentionally incorporate meaningful, spiritually significant rituals into their life,” Dybdahl says. “For example, most of us know that Muslims have set times of prayer throughout the day. But the practice of regular times of daily prayer is part of the biblical tradition as well. We should notice that and consider how we can incorporate that practice into our lives.”

The one religious practice Dybdahl would especially recommend? Listening.

“I think of a personal spiritual life as being primarily about listening. For me as a Christian, that would mean listening to God, to God's word, paying attention to what's happening in my own mind and heart, and trying to listen to people around me,” says Dybdahl. “As a believer, I feel like this is a process that God engages in with me, helps me to listen, helps me to hear what I need to hear. God speaks, but I won’t hear if I’m not listening.”

“If everyone took just three minutes of quietness every day, I think the world would be a different place and a better place—a more thriving place.”

by Kelsi Dos Santos

You Snooze, You Win

Dr. Eric Haeger ’91 Doctor of sleep medicine, family medicine Brewster, Washington

“We spend a third of our life sleeping,” says Dr. Eric Haeger, a 1991 biology graduate and physician board-certified in family and sleep medicine. “Uninterrupted good quality sleep is so important.”

Yet, one out of three Americans don’t get the recommended amount of sleep (seven to eight hours a night), according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Not hitting those targets can have grave consequences, including an increased risk of chronic conditions, such as heart disease, type 2 diabetes, and depression. While sleepless nights can be a problem of our own making (think: the university student who stays up all night studying to ace her psychology final), the majority of patients who walk through Dr. Haeger’s doors—he owns and operates four sleep clinics in Brewster, Moses Lake, Spokane, and Wenatchee, Washington—have a real medical condition interrupting their ZZZs.

“This is where the rubber meets the road for me,” he says. “Probably 95% of the people I see have sleep apnea.”

Sleep apnea is a condition in which breathing stops and starts throughout the night. While six million Americans have been diagnosed with the condition, it’s thought that upwards of 30 million people may have it and not know it. Symptoms often include snoring, waking often, and daytime drowsiness.

“A person with sleep apnea just arouses way too much at night,” explains Haeger. “And with every arousal, the brain is being interrupted.” Meaning the person has fewer opportunities to reach the deeply restorative phase of sleep known as slow wave sleep. “Slow wave sleep is absolutely necessary for longevity and for life,” Haeger says.

We spend a third of our life sleeping. Uninterrupted good quality sleep is so important.

With sleep being such a vital part of life, Haeger has made it his mission to help as many people as possible make “huge positive changes.” (And not just in sleep medicine, but in addiction treatment too: He is also the medical director of New Start Clinics, an opiate treatment clinic.)

That drive to help started at an early age: While living with his missionary parents in South America, an 8-year-old Haeger stumbled upon a funeral for a child who had died from dehydration. “My little brain was like, ‘Well, this is dumb. You can fix this—can’t you?’” he recalls. He knew he could fix problems like that as a doctor.

After graduating from WWU, he earned his medical degree from Loma Linda University in 1995 and completed his residency in family medicine at Highland Hospital in Rochester, New York. He and wife Michelle (whom he met at WWU) then spent six years as missionaries in Guam, where Haeger was first approached with the idea of sleep medicine by the administrator of his hospital, who was a former sleep tech. Haeger wasn’t able to dive deeply into the specialty before returning to the states, but once home in Brewster, Washington, he was once again approached by a health-care executive curious if he could add sleep medicine to his area of expertise. This time, Haeger pursued it wholeheartedly, studying at Stanford School of Sleep Medicine and sitting for his boards.

Now, 15 years into his own private sleep practice, Haeger says he’s learned a lot along the way—not just about sleep but about running a business. “It’s really important that you play to your strengths and surround yourself with people who can help you with your weaknesses,” he says. And a little perspective doesn’t hurt either: “If God were to say, ‘You're done here.’ That would be okay. My life is not just this. It's important to understand that we all have value that’s more than just our business.” Clearly, for Haeger, that value lies in helping others: “I only have so many turns around this little rock. We all do, right? If you're really going to help, you’ve gotta get on it.”

by Amy Wilkinson

Eat Right to Live Right

Kelsie (Schafer) White ’16 studied health promotion at WWU. She is now a registered dietician and recently published a plantbased cookbook, “Planted in Simplicity.”

“We know that food is necessary for survival. We are required to eat so our bodies can perform their functions. However, we often forget that food is necessary for us to not only survive, but thrive.

“One of the best choices we can make is to transition from consuming highly processed foods and animal products and focus on getting most of our nutrients from whole, plant foods. These foods not only provide us with necessary macronutrients (carbohydrates, proteins, and fats) and micronutrients (vitamins and minerals), but also provide us with an often overlooked yet essential nutrient for our health: fiber. Fiber provides health benefits in many areas and is a great place to start on your journey towards healthy living.”

On Making Your Space Work

Elena Harris ’21 Decluttering coach and entrepreneur College Place, Washington

“As a child, Elena Harris, a 2021 business graduate, displayed a preternatural affinity for organizing— carefully lining up her possessions and playthings by size and color.

As she grew, she “helped” her mom wrangle her increasing collection of stuff by throwing out items she had no apparent use for—much to her mother’s chagrin. And later when tasked with a seemingly unrelated duty—such as teaching youngsters in Peru as a student missionary—Harris inevitably found herself sweating the systems.

“The aspects of teaching that I was really excited about, I realized, were the organizational aspects, coming up with a plan and decorating the classroom,” she recalls.

Harris had no idea her organization passion could be a profession until she stumbled upon the work of Marie Kondo, a Japanese organizing expert who popularized the notion of keeping only the things that “spark joy.” With a newfound direction, Harris pivoted her career ambitions from teaching to declutter coaching, launching her business, Elena’s Declutter, her junior year, with a fellow student as her first client.

You can't start getting less overwhelmed until you actually start to get rid of stuff.

As a declutter coach, Harris’ work is as much psychological as it is practical—she is not a housekeeper, but a facilitator, and she can only help those who want help. “I teach people how to declutter for themselves,” she says. “I'm there to help them actually take the time to do it. And when they get stuck, I help them pivot or think about it differently.”

Contrary to what you might see on home organization shows like Tidying Up With Marie Kondo or Get Organized With the Home Edit, decluttering isn’t a process that can be done in the span of days. While Harris does take on shortterm projects, many of her clients have been with her for years, making slow and steady progress as they winnow piles of stuff that have left them stressed or even unable to perform daily tasks. (It’s difficult to put on a clean pair of pants, for instance, if there isn’t a clear path to the dresser where they’re kept.)

Humans hold onto belongings for many reasons, be they emotional or financial, and decluttering years’ or even decades’ worth of stuff can feel daunting at best, impossible at worst. For those unsure of how or where to start, Harris advises gathering three containers (one for throw-aways, one for donations, and one for items to sort through) and heading for the kitchen.

“Starting in an easier place in your house or an easier category of things is really important,” Harris says. “If somebody's super stressed out by their kitchen, and there's not a lot of sentimental items in there, that's a really good place to start versus going through the garage, which has all the stuff that they haven't been dealing with for a really long time and there's probably more sentimental items, like pictures.”

Baby steps help build confidence “so then the next step gets a little bit easier,” says Harris. And when a client falters, she reminds them of their goal (a peaceful bedroom, perhaps) and what steps are needed to reach it (emptying out that overflowing bedside table).

Harris is a big believer that one’s physical space is a reflection of what’s going on in one’s headspace, and her biggest piece of decluttering advice is simple: just begin.

“You can't start getting less overwhelmed until you actually start to get rid of stuff,” she says. “The visual and physical clutter makes it impossible to feel sane.“

by Amy Wilkinson

Living with Leverage

Ben '07 and Celina Dawson att. live in College Place with their five children.

“Before we share anything about service, we must say thank you to our parents who demonstrated it to us rather than telling us about it.

“Service is a gift that has opened the door for our family to connect in unexpected, meaningful ways. Our first ‘formal’ service event was a Maranatha Volunteers mission trip in 2019. Since then we’ve been on volunteer trips nearly every year and it has become a family tradition that we all look forward to as a major highlight.

“It’s fun building connections together as a family through planning, anticipation, and imagining ways we can help others. The actual event (participation) is just the icing on the cake.

“Service is living with leverage: you’re accomplishing way more than you ever could if living solely for yourself. And being a part of it is a blessing our family wants to keep!”

The Great Comforter

Tajloi Cunningham ’13 Hospital and Army chaplain New Haven, Connecticut

Tajloi Cunningham wanted to be a pilot. But God had other plans for him.

As a freshman, Cunningham declared an aviation major and began performing all the necessary tasks and studies to take his seat in the cockpit. By his third year, he was regularly taking off and landing at nearby Martin Field. But after a string of inexplicable flight issues (like a blown out tire and stuck throttle), Cunningham started to wonder whether God was trying to literally steer him in another direction.

“I was very strong-headed,” Cunningham says of his initial resistance. “The Lord got a hold of me and issued an ultimatum. I cried about it. I prayed about it. I made the decision to switch to theology.”

The change of major meant an additional three years of study to complete his degree, and Cunningham used that time to dive deeper into the ministry, taking the post of student pastor for the Berean Fellowship, the African-American-inspired worship service on campus.

“It was beautiful,” he says of his time with the fellowship. “Folks from all backgrounds showing up—that's what made it so special.”

At the same time, Cunningham admits to spreading himself too thin, resulting in burnout. So upon graduating in 2013, he decided to forgo church ministry for a post as an intervention

specialist at Jubilee Leadership Academy in Prescott, Washington—a boarding school for teens with behavioral and addiction issues—while also working as the assistant varsity soccer coach at WWU. It was during a conversation with head coach Troy Fitzgerald that the seed of military chaplaincy was planted.

“I realized it was very similar to what I was doing as an intervention specialist,” Cunningham recalls. “I took Pastor Troy’s advice, and I got on the phone and called recruiting.”

Cunningham needed a master’s degree in order to serve as a military chaplain, so he enrolled at Andrews University. To get endorsed after graduation, he spent another two years as a hospital chaplain at Yale New Haven Hospital in Connecticut. A role at Hartford Hospital followed, where he works today as a chaplain.

Cunningham did eventually get his commission into the Army: He is a Battalion Chaplain for the Connecticut Army National Guard. And, yes, he endured a three-month boot camp—push-ups and all. With a one-weekend-a-month National Guard commitment, the bulk of Cunningham’s chaplaincy time is spent walking the halls of Hartford Hospital, where in a typical day he may counsel an employee going through a divorce, console a grieving widow, or sit vigil as a patient takes their final breath. With seven units to oversee, the work can be taxing.

Intentionality allows us to assess our feelings and take action to address them ...

Through his time as a chaplain, Cunningham has devised a four-pillar approach to self-care in order to thrive through life’s trials. It’s an approach he lives by and one he shares with those he ministers to. Those four pillars are: honesty, intentionality, courage, and consistency.

Honesty is required for true self-reflection and introspection, says Cunningham, to identify why you’re feeling the way you are. “I ask, ‘What is the question sitting with you right now?’ If it’s that you’re upset, why are you upset? And then I critically evaluate the response. ‘Is this response appropriate to the event that happened?’ And oftentimes it's not.”

Intentionality allows us to assess our feelings and take action to address them, whether it’s seeking guidance from a trusted confidante or spending time engaged in a hobby that brings joy and fulfillment. “It’s not going to happen by happenstance,” Cunningham says.

Courage helps us make the necessary changes we need. “Change is scary, but it requires courage to implement.”

Finally, consistency reminds us to return to this framework whenever we need it. “Have this system, and whatever you go through, engage this process to help you to cope.”

by Amy Wilkinson

He Went Up On a Mountainside

Grant Hartman ’21 studied engineering at WWU. He works at Bonsai Design, merging his engineering skills with his love of the outdoors to contribute to their adventure course designs.

“As John Muir aptly described, ‘In every walk with nature, one receives far more than he seeks.’

“‘The outdoors.’ At what point did our society create a lifestyle so centered on being inside that we now have to consciously decide to ‘get out?’ My most memorable events in life have occurred where we were designed to be … outside! Pouring out my heart on mountain tops, graduating on Centennial Green, being rebaptized in the Jordan, and pushing my abilities rock climbing or skiing.

“Now go create your new experience! I encourage you to spend time in His creation where you can connect with others, develop new skills, spend time with our Creator, and ultimately, thrive! Jesus himself saw it as a place to connect; ‘After leaving them, He went up on a mountainside to pray.’” Mark 6:46

Walking the Walk in Education

Rebecca Parshall ’10 Director of strategy at an educational partnership Atlanta, Georgia

Dr. Rebecca Parshall, a 2010 humanities graduate, has a passion for educational equity— creating a fair and inclusive system in which all children can learn. You can see this passion in the fire in her eyes and hear it in the vehemence of her voice as she talks about her early teaching experiences and current work in education strategy.

“Education allows people to live choice-filled lives,” she says. “There is an inherent dignity to being able to choose your profession, where you live, how you live, and to be able to support and sustain a family.”

As a primarily homeschooled student in the suburbs of Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Parshall was unaware of the inequities—stemming from racism and poverty—that exist in education. But a pair of pivotal experiences in college and shortly thereafter opened her eyes. The first came while volunteering at an orphanage in Zimbabwe while astudent at WWU.

“My experience abroad really helped me to understand power and privilege in this world,” she says. “That then prompted me to investigate further power and privilege in the States, and I learned about educational inequity here.”

That experience inspired her to become a teacher, earn her master’s degree in special education, and join Teach for America, a non-profit that nurtures equity-oriented leaders. As a member of the organization’s Teacher Corps, Parshall was placed in a high school in the southern Los Angeles neighborhood of Watts, where a second experience once again left her humbled.

“My very first day of teaching, I had what I thought was a behavioral showdown,” she recalls. “I had a student whose cell phone sounded like it was going off. I quietly told him, ‘Hey, put it away.’ And he said, ‘It's not my phone.’” Parshall tried to remain calm as the supposed cell phone beeped again and she again asked the student to put it away. This back-and-forth continued. “He finally threw his leg up on his desk, and pulled his pant leg up. It wasn’t his phone. It was an ankle bracelet. He was on probation.”

In that moment, and the years to come, Parshall learned how much she truly didn’t know. “More than anything else, my teaching experience was an education for me in American systems of oppression,” she says. “That led me to a desire to study the history and systems of public education to try to impact it.”

Education allows people to live choice-filled lives. There is an inherent dignity to being able to choose your profession, where you live, how you live, and to be able to support and sustain a family.

After moving to Atlanta, Parshall eventually transitioned into coaching teachers then school administration.

“I thought that when I left the classroom, I would have more control over the structure of schooling. I had about 1% more control as a school administrator,” she says with a laugh. “That led me to pursue doctoral studies in education policy, and ultimately into a role in which I can influence not policy, but partnerships and supporting public education at a regional level.”

As director of strategy at Learn4Life, Parshall takes a “cradle to career” approach to assessing the educational system in metro Atlanta, examining key metrics from kindergarten readiness through post-secondary completion rates. (These metrics can be incredibly telling: If a student isn’t reading proficiently by the end of third grade, for example, their chances of graduating high school, entering or completing post-secondary, and earning a living wage are significantly lower, according to Parshall.) Next, she brings together key collaborators, including non-profits, philanthropies, school districts, and community and business members, to assess the data, determining what’s working and what’s not and enacting next steps.

It truly takes a village, and Parshall believes it is all of our responsibilities to help support public education and ease the inequities facing students.

“Supporting public education starts with a foundational belief that public education is a public good, and that we all benefit from the success of our public school systems,” she says. “Having an educated population increases economic prosperity through high-wage jobs, increased taxes, and decreased pressures on our social systems.” And, hopefully, allows everyone to live the life they choose.

by Amy Wilkinson

Humanities Build Bridges

Dan Lamberton is a WWU professor emeritus of English, having taught here since 1997. He is a visiting professor at the University of Washington’s history and English departments, and served on the board of Humanities Washington for many years.

“When Herman Melville began Moby Dick with the sentence ‘Call me Ishmael,’ he anchored his book to holy ground. One great book is informed by the ancient stories of another. Such deep connections are what the humanities provide. One can't read or talk or think wihout recollecting what one has read. For me, the humanities endow deep and useful memory and have helped me build bridges between the arts and people and our natural world—a beloved place. As Robert Frost wrote, ‘Earth's the right place for love.’ It's all we have. God so loved it.”

What Has Your Attention?

Jerry Woods ’97 is the morning show host and director of promotions at WGTS 91.9 in Silver Spring, Maryland.

“The average person today sees more ads in one day than someone in the 19th century did in their entire life. So many things are vying for our attention. It’s become important to curate what goes into your head. So much of today’s entertainment doesn’t line up with living a Christ-like life, and it’s easy to pass it off as ‘just entertainment.’ Everything we put into our heads is taking us a step closer to Christ or pointing us in the other direction.

Today is a good day to start being selective with what goes into your head. Paul gave us a good guide in Philippians 4:8 when he said, ‘Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.’”

A Purpose-Driven Life

Jan Roberts ’73Pianist, retired missionary nurse Walla Walla, Washington

Jan Roberts has always had a clear vision of her life’s purpose. In fact, her mother used to say that, as a child, Roberts had three goals: to play the piano, to serve as a missionary, and to work as a nurse. She accomplished all three before the age of 25.

Born in Bozeman, Montana, Roberts got an early taste for mission work when, at 7 years of age, she moved with her parents to Ghana, where they were called to serve.

“We did school in the morning and had the afternoon free to play with each other or to enjoy monkeys or chimpanzees or ride bicycles,” she recalls of her childhood there.

After four and a half years, her family returned stateside, and Roberts enrolled at Walla Walla University. Having taken piano lessons since the age of 5, she declared a music major her freshman year but quickly switched over to nursing by her sophomore.

It was while studying at WWU that Roberts met her husband, Bob, and the two married a couple of weeks after graduation. Posts in Spokane and Auburn followed, until eventually, Roberts convinced her husband to consider missionary work. He was hesitant about traveling so far away, but Roberts won out. Six weeks after applying to the General Conference in the summer of 1975, they received their call to Ethiopia. They waited until the birth of their first child, Eric, in December, and boarded a plane two weeks later.

Their time in Ethiopia was short-lived, however, due to upheaval in the country. Emperor Haile Selassie had been assassinated the summer before. The Adventist hospital where they were stationed was soon nationalized, and after four months, they relocated to the western side of the country, where they stayed for another 10 months.

Despite the turmoil, Roberts recalls feeling at peace, trusting that God would watch over them. “Other than not knowing where you were going tomorrow, or what you're going to be doing, I don't remember feelings of ‘Help! I want to get out of here,’” she says.

After a few more stops in Africa, Roberts and her family (which had grown to include daughter, Stephanie) landed in Zaire, now the Democratic Republic of Congo, where they stayed for 14 ½ years. Roberts put her nursing skills to use identifying health care gaps at the local clinic. She discovered, for instance, that they didn’t have access to childhood vaccines, so after an outbreak of measles, she knew where to start—but not how. At the time, their only method of communication was radio, so they couldn’t simply call for vaccines. Roberts prayed on it, and her answer came.

“As God does, he loves to surprise us,” she says. “He brought somebody to my front door.”

That somebody was a Peace Corps volunteer, who was hoping Roberts’ husband could help transport vaccines for her organization. (He worked as a pilot.) So with a little coordination and teamwork, they were able to source and administer the measles vaccine at their local clinic.

“That program expanded into the other childhood vaccinations, then into a well baby clinic and nutrition center, then a whole health center. By the time we left, it was really well established,” Roberts says.

The family’s next post was in Papua in Indonesia, where they spent 22 ½ years. Because of visa issues, Roberts couldn’t technically work as a nurse, but she helped with preventative care and held health seminars at local churches.

You have to make an effort to find your purpose. Everything isn't just dumped in your lap.

In 2014, Roberts returned Stateside, and now calls Walla Walla home. And with the change in locale came a change in career, shifting her focus from nursing to music.

“Every place that I’ve lived—from Ghana to Papua—I was able to have a piano,” Roberts says. “That’s pretty remarkable, and little did I ever dream that I would use that to earn money, to help support myself. I've been so blessed that I was able to keep up my skills and improve on them.”

Roberts is now employed by both WWU and nearby Whitman College, and she also plays for several local churches and events. When it comes to living a purpose-filled life like Roberts, she says it’s all about following the Lord’s will.

“Let God lead you as much as you can,” she says, adding that, ultimately, the legwork to realize your dreams will be wholly yours. “You have to make an effort to find your purpose. Everything isn't just dumped in your lap. If you're in school, learn as much as you can about as many subjects as you can. If you're out of school, but still have unrealized goals, do the same thing. One of my husband's favorite sayings was, ‘You'll never learn any younger.’ I do try to still keep learning—in music, in preventative health, in the medical field.”

by Amy Wilkinson