As You Are — D.C.’s ‘Cheers’ for queers

JESSICA

Growing up in Tennessee, Abby Clayton denied herself hobbies like crafting because she already felt like an outcast. Due to the lack of queer representation around her, she felt there were parts of herself she couldn’t express or didn’t know existed. When she stepped into As You Are. DC, a café and bar space on Barracks Row to watch a Mystics game, she found the unexpected: a place where she could be all parts of herself — crafter, athlete, and queer.

“Being in a place where people are so authentically themselves is so encouraging to me as I try to live that out more and more every day,” said Clayton, who now returns regularly for Wednesday Craft Nights. “It’s mind-blowing to me. We’re the cool people now!”

Stephanie Storlie, a 35-yearold teacher who lives in Anacostia agrees. Storlie also comes for Craft Nights where about 30 people of all ages knit, paint, crochet, and socialize. She immediately felt a deep sense of community with other queer people who shared her enjoyment of knitting, something unavailable to her in her younger years.

“There’s this concept in the queer community of re-parenting or reclaiming the parts of our lives that weren’t what we wanted them to be,” Storlie said. “I can do that here.”

When co-owners Jo McDaniel and Rachel Pike opened the space in March 2022, they dreamt of a queer space that was more family-friendly, multi-generational and comfortable for non-drinkers.

Based on the diverse programming, you could say that dream has been achived: how about not just a drag queen show, but one for performers of color with ASL interpretation? Check. What about a Trans Night with corn hole toss on the dance floor? Yep. For those more introverted? Try the More Than Strangers Happy Hour (think speed dating, but for friends), Craft Night or the Magic card game gathering just for queer gaymers.

After the Club Q shooting last fall in Colorado, AYA hosted a vigil and a grief workshop at no cost where a therapist from the gay community shared how to process such events in a healthy way. Film screenings, panel discussions, and a regular Go Gay DC Sunday meet up have brought together queers of all generations.

In addition to a coffee bar, sandwich and weekend brunch offerings, patrons will find vegan cheese, nondairy milks, and house-made syrups like lavender and gin- ger. You can add a $25 donation to your tab for unhoused patrons who often stop in for a free hot meal and to help themselves to the clothing donation box by the door.

So how does one build a culture that welcomes so much diversity within the queer community? McDaniel and Pike started by training staff in an enthusiastic model of consent that they have developed over two decades of combined experience in the service industry and security as well as community activism.

“We’re looking to change bar culture — not just queer bars, but all social spaces,” said McDaniel. “We want to help people socialize safely, to empower those who have been taught to be pleasing.”

If a server sees someone hesitate to take a drink, they will ask: “Is it a ‘Hell yes!’ for you?” If not, they will speak up for the person, pour them ginger ale or serve no drink at all.

Rape culture starts small with observable behaviors in a public space, according to Pike, so staff also intervene if consent is unclear with behavior, touching or staring. Sometimes people want to belong so badly in queer spaces that they will say yes to things that they don’t want to do, so enthusiastic consent is paramount, Pike said.

When asked how they are able to balance free programming with keeping a business afloat, Pike said, “It’s probably a little bit harder on us because we’re not chasing dollars. But it’s also worth it every day because people have a place to be to be safe and included.”

A white neon sign glowing above the front door bids patrons farewell as they exit: “with love.”

“With love—period. As you are—period. No exceptions,” Pike said. “We’re going to create the world in here that we would like to see out there.”

As You Are. DC is located at 500 8th St., S.E. You can check out the event schedule and menu at asyouaredc. com.