infill The Stoppage List

Dear Deirdre I’m under considerable social pressure to take my own tools with me when I go digging. I have a fine set of tools that I keep in excellent condition, including my heritage brickwork tools and a high-grunt Tirfor winch that I spent a great deal of money on. The problem is, my WRG group are rather cavalier with tools and I’m rather nervous about sharing them. What’s the best way to handle this?

- AB, Bolminster

Deirdre writes WRGies are notoriously careless and that’s why most WRG tools look like they’ve been run over with a van. Don’t feel you have to share your good stuff if you’re not comfortable doing so. You can always tell your friends that they were stolen out of your shed – but then unfortunately you will have to use WRG’s dodgy tools instead of your nice ones. Maybe it’s best if you bring them to site but don’t share them. Writing your name on the handle should help. You can also write some really stern threats and curses on there to really reinforce the message.

Dear Deirdre 6 years ago I suggested we buy a new teapot for our kit but we’re still using the same horrible bashed up old thing. I keep reminding people about it but no one ever seems to want to replace kit. Is there any way to speed up this process?

- JK,Wolversbury

Deirdre writes Trying to get kit replaced is like trying to launch a major infrastructure project. The time between the conception of the idea and the realisation of it can be decades. I don’t understand why replacing a teapot is WRG’s equivalent to commissioning Crossrail but that’s just how it is round here. Your best bet is to just throw the damn thing in the cut and then produce the new teapot you’ve bought, just in time for teabreak. Just be aware it may take another 6 years for you to get the expense refunded.

Do you have a question for Deirdre? Just email it to the editor.

The stoppage list

As mentioned opposite, London WRG has sadly lost one of its stalwarts, Allan Scott. One of his notable contributions wasn’t actually on a restoration site, it was at the WRG Panto Snow White and the Severn Wharfs in which he would have starred as the wicked Lord High Executive of all the canals, had he not gone down with the lurgy on the eve of the performance. But he’d already written this adaptation of I’ve got a little list from Gilbert & Sullivan’s The Mikado, and understudy Dave Parrish was recruited to perfom it. We reproduce it in Allan’s memory:

As someday it may happen that a stoppage must be found I’ve got a little list

I’ve got a little list

Of waterways throughout the land that should be underground They never would be missed They never would be missed

Like K&A and Macclesfield, the Bridgewater and Peak The Caldon, Rochdale, Huddersfield, The arm that runs to Leek

And drain the reservoir along the GU up at Tring

Just think of all the chaos and confusion that would bring I could go on and on but now I think you’ve got the gist They’d none of them be missed

They’d none of them be missed

Chorus: You may put them on the list, You may put them on the list And they’d none of them be missed, And they’d none of them be missed.

We can’t forget the do-gooders restoring bits of cuts I’ve got them on the list, I’ve got them on the list

Like KESCRG BITM WACT and WRG and groups of similar nuts I’ve got them on the list, I’ve got them on the list

Then theres all those trouble makers domiciled at 114 [1] What is it that they do all day?

I’ll give them all “what for”!

And IWA groups and festivals and rallies ’cross the land And Chairmen such as Audrey Smith [2], it’s getting out of hand

And the editor of Navvies who we know is always pissed

They’d none of them be missed

They’d none of them be missed

Chorus: You may put them on the list, You may put them on the list

And they’d none of them be missed, And they’d none of them be missed.

Editor’s notes [1] IWA’s then address, 114 Regent’s Park Road, [2] the then IWA Chair