Infill Deirdre returns

Infill Deirdre has the answers!

Dear Deirdre I’m about to head off on my first canal camp since 2019! I can’t really remember how I used to pack. Have you any reminders? - AH, Milton Pagnell Deirdre replies It depends on what kind of WRGie you are really. Old hands will probably have a collection of old rags they’ve been wearing on digs since around the late 1980s. Moths won’t go anywhere near these garments, so you can be confident they’re still just as you left them – probably balled up in the garage where you threw them after the last dig. It’s just your phone charger you need to throw in too.

If you’re a part-timer or a novice, you’re more likely to have washed your kit when you stuffed it away before the plague came. It’s well worth giving everything a good shake and a sniff to check no mice have nested in there since you last used it. You’ll finally be able to get a second use out of that new bedroll you bought in 2019. Remember to take a proper bed pillow – by now you’ll have forgotten how awful that blow up one is and what a waste of money it was.

Whatever kind of WRGie you are, make sure to give your boots a good check before you go. Soles can really deteriorate over time, especially if they’ve been caked in lime mortar prior to storage. And remember you wore your favourite digging shorts to redecorate the hallway in first lockdown – you’ll need to dig them out again and hope the paint splatters aren’t too bad.

Dear Deirdre Oh god I’ve just found the tea towels in with my digging gear. I must have volunteered to wash them after my last dig two and a half years ago and forgotten all about it. What on earth can I do? They’re all stuck together with black spots on. Shall I try mould remover and a boil wash? - MJL, Dull Eastwich Deirdre replies I think some things even a boil wash can’t fix. It might be time to replace the tea towels, which have probably been in circulation since they nationalised the waterways. They’re so thin now that you might as well use cobwebs to dry your dishes. I find Wilko are usually good value.

Meanwhile down on Bond Street...

One of the various things that bricklayers will bore you with, if given the chance (or even if not given the chance) is ‘bonds’. These are the various patterns that the bricks are laid in to make a wall, and they have names like English Bond, Flemish Garden Wall Bond and Rat Trap Bond. But here are some others that you’re probably less familiar with...

The “Michael Bond” - uses marmalade instead of mortar The “Unibond” - only needs one brick. A strangely pointless bond. The “Basildon Bond” - if you really want your wall to remain stationery! (sorry) The “Bond-I-Beach” - especially good for building barbecues The “James Bond” - two gaps and then seven bricks! The “Premium Bond” - made of gold bricks. And with a fairly low chance of success. (You may like to draw parallels with some organisations’ approach to canal restoration in the past. I couldn’t possibly comment.) The “Government Bond” - allegedly strong and stable. Usually to be found with rotten foundations. The “Brooke Bond” – has tea leaves in the mortar. Alternatively, a bond used by the sort of bricklayer who can’t get a brick down until they’ve had their third cup of tea while peering at the wall, prodding it with their trowel, muttering and then having another cup of tea. (What, there’s any other sort of brickie?) The “Bond-age”. Original meaning: the pattern you get when using old hand made reclaimed bricks of different sizes. Current urban slang: using straps/ties or other metal inserts to stabilise the resulting wall Coming soon: “Throwing in the trowel” – the WRG editor finally gives up on trying to write any more ‘amusing’ pieces about bricklaying…

Another Dr Floodbush contribution