The 7 day Black and White Challenge and PG&E black out

SMOKE ON THE WATER

For 25 years I have walked to this bench the morning after the night.

It is not for me to explain what this night is about...

Nor is it to describe the process, the visions, the meanings, not even the intentions.

Let’s just say, I quietly, slowly, walk to this place, raw, open and receptive.

The work in the night leads to morning light and calm new horizon.

The bench is ground zero, the ocean of infinite wisdom,

and the Duxbury Reef of profound nature,

and the Bolinas shore of waves and the surfers immersion into water and the Salmon fisherman's cast into the sea.

Bolinas Ridge, the stalwart wall between the mystery of these heavenly and "over-the-hill" earthly conditions

There are fires burning this morning.

I receive an early text from a friend in Oaxca Mexico...

Homes and lives are threatened, “My Auntie in Windsor is in trouble, can you help me?”

The Kincaid fire has just started. Mandatory evacuation are in effect.

PG&E announces power will be shut off, heavy winds in forecast, at least 5 days.

PREPARATION

Power is shut off. All of Sonoma and Marin County go dark.

I spend the night at Jenny’s, some of the east bay has power...

Gas stations are open, grocery and hardware stores are open.

Early morning-- buying gas, ice, cat food, veggies...

Stop at the office and pick up Burning man supplies,

A new usage for that name,

however, there is no humor in that irony

Traffic lights are out

I narrowly escape a collision,

the afternoon sunlight reflecting off the lens makes the light look green

Last second I stop as car rushes the intersection.

no one seems to know what to do...

Fucking be careful right now.

The PTSD from two years ago has already taken hold.

IN THE MIDDLE OF IT

Next day I pull out solar panels and batteries

LED lights, phone and computer can charge.

Crew’s can’t work

Generators in the valley are annoying

A weird kind of snow day, white smoke.

I feel comfortable with my solar power set-up...

A frontiersman pride, but there is nothing here to be proud of.

It is scary about the fire, everyone feels it, people are inside, it is quiet,

except for those damn generators...

It is beyond disappointing no one can believe it is happening again...

Everyone says the fires are now the new normal.

I snack on almonds, heat up some soup and go to bed early.

ANXIETY

I wake up...

Drive to look at my jobs, inspect this upside down world....

Crews are still not working, no power.

Dark shops, no school, no traffic

strange apocalyptic feeling,

Suddenly feel nauseous with anxiety....

Triggers old memories of loss and financial strife

I begin to feel a bit untethered.

Striking close to home, our poor planet has bent past the tipping point.

The climate change is now, the shift into demise has manifested as disaster fires.

Hundreds of thousands of acres burned, homes burned, wineries burned...

People all over, all the way out to the coast, evacuated. Things are crazy now.

PG&E is corrupt and antiquated; our infrastructure is corrupt and antiquated.

I read on IG, a young friend reaches out to his friends and asks--

“What do you know about anti-depressants?” Breaks my heart, I want to cry.

IMMERSION

I drive out to Bolinas again to sit with the Shaman.

I tell him of my anxiety, he tells me a lot of people are feeling the same way

He comments that I am permeable, I think it might be a complement.

Not sure what it means, I reflect on it, and just let it settle and listen.

Afterwards, I get ready to ride my bike.

Fires are burning, people are evacuated, power is out,

but it is an epic, perfect, Indian-summer day, sun low in the sky, warm, no wind.

It’s all about the light. The Doug Fir and White Pine stand tall and silent.

The low angle sun reflecting off the ocean, through the trees, long shadows

So magic. Total Immersion into the Forest

I read they now call it Forest Bathing, I had laughed then.

and now with showers of light. A new kind of language here.

The Language of the forest is invisible and the hair stands up on my arms...

I glide through the trail like a low flying bird.

Even up hill is swift and easy. The Sunset is incomprehensible.

Thursday I feel distraught and drawn. Just forget about a black and white pic.

I call C & S, who months prior have invited me to their cabin.

I text-- “Too much work stress, too cold and the power is out, I think I’m out!”

They know what that is code for and respond--

“That is reasons to come not to stay home.”

I decide to leave Friday morning, making coffee at 4:30am on road by 5:00am

We do a trail I’ve never ridden before, new area...

One moment after the next I am astounded.

The technical aspect has my body buzzing,

At elevation the light is simply mystical. Is it me, everything is glowing.

I suddenly realize what is the truth behind permeable.

Everything is living, Life is moving through us. Grace and Goosebumps.

4 hours back I’m anxious and exhausted in bed, suddenly, I’m riding

through some the most rugged and astounding wilderness. Ever!

Do not say it aloud, do not even think it, but suddenly I’m the most lucky man

THE VALUE OF LIVING

Another bike ride. Another new trail.

I exclaim on the trail that there is nothing I love better!

My friend up ahead laughs

Or maybe one of five favorite things... but still...

This is the same, deep medicine, deep medicine.

I’m chanting that all day... my friends know I’m a kook this way

A lingering muscle tear from the bike trip to Canada...

Have hardly ridden in a month

The Forest is sending me information, calming, purifying, integrating.

It is a chore to make the final climb. It is not the flowing grace of earlier,

but still, there is no cramping, no stopping, no injuries or mechanicals.

4 hours of riding and 5,000 feet of climbing... a big day.

A great day.

At 64 I am doing more than I have ever done at a younger age. Yes lucky.

All rides I saw no one else on the trails. Maybe it’s not about being lucky,