Senior Moments

Senior Moments - we all have them, some of us more than others. I had a senior moment recently and it kinda, sorta lost me a job. Let me tell you about it.

I’ve been sitting around a lot lately wondering what life is all about. Why am I here? What’s my purpose? I decided maybe a job would help me feel more like a part of the real world. If I had a job I couldn’t just sit around, I’d have to get out and about. I’d have to see and speak to real people, not just the people I yell at on TV. So I decided to sign myself up on every single job finding site I could find, and trust me, there are a lot of them. Big mistake! I started getting so many job listings that I was “qualified” for that I couldn’t keep track. Now answer this, I was a secretary my entire working life. Why do you think these sites think I’m qualified to be a designer, or a medical professional, or an exotic pole dancer? (I made that last one up to see if you were paying attention!)

After a big scare with a job scam recently I decided to apply only to places that I knew were reputable, like Walmart. I know what people say about Walmart employees; I’ve probably said the same things, but when you want to rejoin the world you’ll start anywhere, right? Well I would start if I could just get an interview! Please, interview me, offer me a job, any job. I’ll say yes, I promise. Do I sound desperate? That’s because I am.

Finally! I got called for an interview at the Walmart Neighborhood Market about five miles from my house. I’d never heard of a neighborhood market in Michigan, but they have ‘em all over Florida. The interview email said to stop in anytime that day and ask for Victor. I headed right out and found Victor. Unfortunately Victor wasn’t expecting me. He didn’t have any of my information in front of him so he made notes on a napkin he found on the desk. Victor looked like he was 15 and I think I detected a bit of laughter in his eyes that a woman of my age might want to work at a fast-paced store like his. I’m older, but I’m not dead so I tried to sound as full of energy as I could. I would have hired me if I was Victor, but alas, it was not to be. I never heard back from Walmart … nothing! Not a “nice that you applied, but we don’t want you” email or nothin’. I checked the job site and it didn’t even show I was interviewed. I’m thinking someone used that napkin with Victor’s notes to wipe their mouth after lunch and the information about how great I am was never entered into the computer. Talk about dejection, I was feelin’ it. I’ve always thought Walmart hired anybody and everybody. For heaven’s sake they hired my daughter-inlaw’s sister’s 16 year old kid, but they didn’t hire me. I feel like such a failure!

I decided to give it a few days and then I applied to Walmart again. Guess what? Someone called me for an interview, but when Victor saw me heading toward the office he took off running through the aisles. I ran after him, but forgot who I was chasing and why when I got distracted by a bag of M&Ms in the candy aisle. Ya gotta love those Senior Moments!