Expect the unexpected

written by Kendra Zieman

Why does everyone put so much pressure on our kids to be perfect when we are not perfect ourselves? My husband and I are raising three boys who have three extremely different personalities; we have to parent them each differently and our parenting is not always perfect. We learn as we go, just as kids are learning as they grow. Expect the less than perfect moments and learn from them. It’s OK to have flaws, and if you are looking for perfection you will spend your life disappointed.

This time of year, our family spends a lot of time at the baseball field. My husband coaches and two of our three boys play ball, so we are always there watching somebody. During a game a couple of weeks ago, a young boy was up to bat and his parent hollered “wait for the perfect pitch.” My youngest decided to let that dad and everybody else around know that ”nothing is perfect!” As he loudly hollered that back, my first thought was, he’s not wrong. I’m not sure that it was necessary to be announced but this has been one of his many favorite lines recently.

As a mom to three boys, I have been blessed with the ability to work from home, two jobs actually. The other day I was on the phone with a customer and my youngest (again) decided to announce that he needed to poop. I could feel my face turn red as my heart rate was rising and I just wanted to crawl in a hole. The gentleman on the other end of the phone seemed less than impressed. I apologized and explained that I had my little one home with me for the day. At this point there was nothing I could do but finish the conversation and move on (as I’m thinking to myself—nothing is perfect).

Literally the next day, I took a phone call from a customer and the first thing she said when I answered was, “Hi. I want to apologize in advance, I have my twins home with me and they always seem to say inappropriate things when I’m on the phone.” I told her she’s talking to the right person then and I shared my experience from the day before. We both laughed and knew we were in a “safe space.” Sometimes people just get it and those are my kind of people. Life isn’t perfect.

While raising three boys, you always need to expect the unexpected. We all know there is a right and wrong place for certain things, but, in our house, we preach telling the truth (this is where the no filter comes from) and there’s no wrong time or place for the truth. Even if it includes poop.

If we are raising boys who know the truth is always the best and that nothing in life is going to be perfect, then I think we’re doing a good job. We as a community need to stop focusing on and fantasizing raising perfect kids. Sometimes parenting and/or being a kid is hard, sometimes it’s messy and even stressful. But, if we can raise kids that tell the truth, feel comfortable speaking their minds, and understand there will be flaws and mistakes along the way, we will all be in a better place.