DATING MAGAZINE
SPOTS
152
SEXY
FUNNY FEISTY SUMMER LOVE
dirty Speed dating
contents
Stuff we put load of effort into 5
7 WAYS TO DRIVE A MAN WILD
6
A BEAUTY SALON WILL HELP YOU
7
LOOK YOUR BEST
8
UNIQUE FASHION ACCESSORY
9
WEDDING VOW ADVICE
10
A GUIDE TO DATING
11
BEING AUTHENTICALLY YOU
12
CHANGE YOUR DATING REALITY
13
COSMETIC DENTISTRY
14
DATING ONLINE
15
DOES ONLINE DATING WORK?
contents
16
E-‐MATCHMAKING
17
FUN DATING IDEAS
18
GET MARRIED TO A GUY YOU CAN HAVE FUN
20
LIFE AFTER A BREAKUP
21
GOT ATTITUDE
22
HOW DID ONLINE DATING BECOME SO POPULAR?
23
HOW TO GET HIM/HER TO LIKE ME
24 26 27 29
HOW TO HAVE BETTER RELATIONSHIPS INSTANT DATING STRATEGIES IS IT LUST OR LOVE LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT
Editor’s Note
Welcome to the first issue of Dating Magazine. I know there were some of you out there thinking we couldn’t do it. Go on fess up To be honest it’s not been entirely easy, but the team are working so hard to bring you each new issue. This one is a great issue, we have heaps of great articles, plus some featured products to help those on the dating scene. Regards, The Editor
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7 Ways to Drive a Man Wild
It's unbelievable the amount of bad advice there is out there on how to seduce a man or if they give you advice they forget to tell you how to use it properly. So here are a couple of tips on what to do and what not to do to drive a man wild and an instruction manual. 1) Dress in a way that makes you feel sexy and also flatters your figure. Let's face it some of us look ridiculous in stilettos. Red is almost always a good color. Try a red slinky dress and comfortable undergarments. Those torture devices they sell to suck in our guts look great under the dress but are not sexy at all when you are trying to yank them off for a wild night of pleasure. 2) Pay attention to what he has to say for a change. Yes you can talk about yourself but a man finds it really refreshing when a woman allows him to have his own time in the spotlight. 3) Don't talk about your ex. If he asks, keep it short and sweet. You are starting fresh with this guy. No need to bring in the ghost of past relationships. You are perfect to him in the beginning. There is no reason to make him wonder if the last guy who dumped you was right. 4)Wear a light attractive scent. This means layering scents. Bathe in scented bath oils first. Then apply a light powder in the same scent. Finally spray the same scented perfume in front of you and walk into the mist. Do this about 45 minutes before you see him. If you overpower him with your scent, instead of wanting to edge a bit closer he will be running for the nearest exit.
5) If you bring him back to your place make sure it is dimly lit. Soft lighting minimizes lines and wrinkles and gives your skin a bit of a glow. Keep candles handy or lamps that have adjustable lighting. In soft lighting you can be his dream woman and you can feel a thousand times better about undressing in front of him. 6) Do a strip tease for him. Now I am not talking about a ten dollar hooker strip tease. I mean a slow undressing. Have him lie on the bed to watch, as you slowly slip out of your dress, then your undies and finally your stockings and shoes. Make him wait a bit. 7)Explore his body in detail. Consider it a five course meal. Drive him absolutely wild by discovering all the hidden spots he didn't even know existed. Most women just lie there and let the guy do all the work. Participate and you have just blown past most of the women he has had sex with.
A Beauty Salon will help you look your best!
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A beauty salon will help you look your very best with a price that will fit in almost any budget. A beauty salon will be able to make your hair, skin, toes, and fingernails look marvelous. In addition, most beauty salons offer their services for a fairly reasonable price. However, sometimes it may be difficult to choose what service you want. If that is the case, simply be on the lookout for any fashion style that you like. Look through magazines and cut out photos of styles and colors that you find pleasing. Take notes so that when you do go to a beauty salon, you will know exactly what you want. However, be aware that some beauty salons are better than others. To make sure that you are in high-quality beauty salon, check to see if it has clean beauty salon equipment and a clean work area. Also, be aware that in most states, beauty salons are required to publicly display their establishment license. If the salon or barbershop won’t show you an establishment license, you don’t know whether the shop’s health and safety procedures have been approved by the state.
Time saving Beauty Salon Tips A beauty salon visit can be time consuming. To get the most from your visit and still have time left in your day, try these time-trimming tips. Before you leave your beauty salon, schedule your next appointment. Call ahead on your appointment day to see if your stylist is running on time. If not, you won’t have to waste time sitting at the beauty salon when you could be home. If you want to be quickly in and out for your beauty salon appointment, try to schedule the first appointment for the day.
cigar box purse or handbag is a unique fashion accessory with a touch of old world charm
DM 7
There’s an unmistakable charm about a cigar box purse or handbag. Neat, petite and elegant, and decorated with romantic, quaint and quirky images from a bygone era, these design gems are becoming increasingly sought after fashion accessories. You can buy cigar box purses and handbags made from real cigar boxes, or they can be decorated with just about any image you can imagine, including classic movie stars, fashion photographs, dancers, animals, flowers or abstract designs. If you shop around online, you’ll find a huge range of cigar box purses and handbags, many of them uniquely designed and sold by the artist who created them. You can even have a cigar box purse or handbag custom made using a favorite image of a pet, a special place, person or thing, or perhaps a cherished old photograph of a great aunt or grandmother taken in a bygone era. Any image is suitable, so long as it’s your own, and there is no copyright existing in the photograph or artwork. Or if you’re particularly creative, you could even make the
Making your own cigar box purse or handbag. It’s very simple to make a cigar box purse or handbag yourself, and you’ll have the satisfaction of having something which is absolutely unique. A handbag or purse you’ve made yourself also makes a lovely gift for someone special. You can buy a simple wooden box, or a real cigar box if you can find one, some paint and lacquer, and the hinges, corners, handle and clasp from purse hardware suppliers which you’ll find online. Of course, you’ll also need a photograph or piece of artwork to use on the box. Choosing an image, a color scheme and purse hardware pieces which work together artistically is great fun, and very satisfying when it all comes together. It’s a very simple job to paint the box, glue on the image, cover the whole thing with a few coats of lacquer, then attach all of the purse
After the best advice relating to wedding vows. When you're after top information about wedding vows, it will be intricate separating quality information from poorly sourced wedding vows suggestions or help so it's astute to know how to moderate the advice you are presented with. Find Your
relevant
wedding result is
a
click
vows away!
Here's a few pieces of advice that we think you should use when you're seeking information about wedding vows. Please be aware that any recommendation we may offer is only applicable to internet based information regarding wedding vows. We do not offer you any guidance or advice when you are also conducting research offline. Look for wedding vows Find wedding vows at one of the best sites the Internet has to offer!
A good hint to track when offered help or advice concerning a wedding vows web site is to research who is behind the website. This may show you the people behind the site wedding vows identifications The easiest way to work out who is at the back of the wedding vows web site is to look on the 'about' page or the sites 'contact' page. Any reputable site providing information about wedding vows, will almost certainly provide an 'about' webpage which will list the owner's details. The particulars should reveal a number of key indications about the website owner's expertise. This enables you to make an assessment about the webmaster's training and understanding, to advise people on the subject of wedding vows.
A GUIDE TO DATING
People in long-term relationships, whether they are married or dating, often complain about getting into a rut. Your relationship may have started off with the great burst of passion and excitement but perhaps it began to wane because life is busy and work can where you out by the end of the day. If you're in a dating relationship that seems to be in a rut, or wonder why you can't keep a long term relationship exciting anymore, perhaps you need to go back to the beginning. That doesn't mean you need to break up with your current partner and find someone new, it means you need to refresh the relationship with exciting and spontaneous activities. When you look back on a period of your life, what is it that you remember? Is it the average day-in, day-out activities? Not likely. It is more likely those fun and spur-of-the-moment times when you did things that were hilarious or scary or new. That's what it means to go back to the beginning of a relationship, when everything you do is spontaneous and new. Next time you and your girlfriend or boyfriend are deciding to do something on Friday, don't settle for dinner-and-a-movie. Do something different! Here are some ideas: Play paintball Rent a classic car Go skydiving Have a picnic
Or surprise spontaneous:
your
date
with
something
Start a water fight Go for a romantic boat ride and tip the boat Blindfold your date and take them somewhere they never been Surprise your date at work just as they're finishing up for the day Relationships fail for many reasons. One of the saddest reasons is that people simply drift apart because the other person doesn't excite them anymore. It doesn't have to be that you're your relationship, whether dating or married, can thrive when it is filled with adventures that the two of you share as you build memories together. You'll look back on your time together with fondness as you consider the many fun and spontaneous things you did together. But doing those things is a choice. Choose to return to the beginning of your relationship and have fun again!
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BEING AUTHENTICALLY YOU
I once read a fascinating, but all too realistic, story about a woman who opened her closet door and out tumbled various pieces of sporting equipment and memorabilia. While these possessions represented the last decade of her life, she didn’t realize until putting them all away that she felt no connection to anything in her closet. You see, this poor woman had put aside her own interests for the hobbies of a long line of significant others. Standing before her newly straightened shelves, she recalled relationships with Partner A in the water skis, Partner B in the bicycle helmet, and Partner C with a paintball gun. She asked herself, “How could I have given up so much of myself so that nothing in my closet reflects my own interests?” My simple answer is that she had a desire to fit in and be accepted. It’s a pretty safe bet that if a woman wants to become her partner’s ideal mate, she only needs to transform herself into that person. And it happens … again, and again, and again. Still, we wonder, what does this cost her? And, is it fair to her significant other? Maybe, most importantly, we need to recognize that following this plan of action leads her to never finding a true ideal mate. Like many of my coaching clients, I was raised with the unspoken messages of not asking for too much, and not being too vocal about my strengths. As a result, this upbringing and my need to be accepted after my divorce found me dating men who didn’t require much from their partner. At the same time, they didn’t offer much, either. If you were looking for your ideal partner today, would you really be interested in someone whose only goal was to become your vision of a good mate? Would you want to spend time with someone who presented himself one way, but after the curtain was drawn, you saw something much different? Whether the person is a significant other
don’t believe most women are trying to fool a mate with smoke and mirrors, but I do fear that many transform their lives to match their partner’s because they don’t yet know who they are, what their likes and dislikes are, or how to measure their goals and values. A staggering number of women in my divorce workshops say, “I’ve given so much to my ex-husband and the family that I feel like I’m left with nothing. I couldn’t even tell you my favorite color, or what I want for dinner.” My heart immediately goes out to these women because years ago, their words were mine. Sometimes help comes from the most unexpected places. A few weeks ago, while preparing for an appearance on an Orlando news program, I had to confront my comfortable pattern of downplaying my strengths. In the length of a short guest feature, I had to explain the ways I help women, and why I’m good at my work. This moment was significant for me, and one I will remember every time I find myself wanting to go back to that old habit of not being true to myself. You can win in relationships and business by authentically knowing and being who you are, using the skills you bring to the table, and having a level of comfort that allows for flexibility and change. Women shortchange themselves by jumping into relationships before taking the time to fully discover and appreciate themselves. They don’t stop to think about the characteristics they desire in a partner. Are
you
looking
for
your
ideal
Surprise—it all begins with being authentically you.
relationship?
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Change Your Dating Reality
want to share with you the key to finding the Right One and getting married the Time went by, and the young man forgot his pledge. Then he began quickest way possible -- guaranteed. experiencing serious hardships -- each time involving a weasel or a pit. In the end, he realized why these things were happening, and resolved to keep his It's not hard, doesn't cost any money, and takes only about one minute a day. pledge. He married the woman, and the misfortunes stopped. You already have all the tools you need to make it happen, you just need to apply this for one minute every day. Rabbi Chaim Shmulevitz gives insight on how this works. Obviously, the weasel and the pit have extremely limited powers. Yet when the young man What will guarantee that you find the Right One and get married the quickest way possible? A key ingredient is to believe in yourself, and I am going to initially designated them to be his witnesses, God took his sincerity into show you why it works, and how to do it the right way. account and actually changed the reality to give the weasel and the pit the ability to uphold the promise. The word "manifest" means to turn a thought into a thing. Everything you see around you -- cars, houses, the table, a pen -- were all once thoughts that someone turned into a real object. When you manifest something, you make it The same principle is true for you. If you really believe in something, God may change reality so that it comes about. appear in the real world. Now as a single person, you have an idea that you want to get married, and what you want to do is manifest that idea into reality, to be standing under the marriage canopy. However, this powerful idea is a double-edged sword. Just as it can work to your benefit, it can be to your detriment by bringing about something that is A key underlying force that allows you to manifest an idea into reality is to bad for you. Let's say you meet a really great person on a date, and decide believe you can do it. We can all relate to times where the situation looked that you absolutely, positively must marry this person. bad, but through sheer will and determination people beat insurmountable odds. In reality, though, you may be temporarily infatuated with this person, and in Consider a life-and-death scenario of being out in the wilderness alone. fact they are really bad for you -- and marrying them will be a disaster. Yet if Gordon Smith, an instructor who spent 26 years in the U.S. Army's Special you will it hard enough, and are over-insistent, it is possible that God will allow Forces, says: "If you have a guy with all the survival training in the world who you to marry that wrong person. has a negative attitude, and a guy who doesn't have a clue but has a positive attitude, I guarantee you that the one with the positive attitude is coming out of That's why, when you are dating, you should always ask God to help you the woods alive. Simple as that." marry the "right person" and not any specific person. Â http://www.fastcompany.com/magazine/69/fighttosurvive.html This heightened motivation of people in dire situations appears to be the force that gets them through. But that's not the whole story. The amazing thing is what happens behind the scenes, the real secret to success. There is a stronger metaphysical component at work here. Remember the Six Day War and the Yom Kippur War? The tiny State of Israel was surrounded by hostile Arab countries numbering over 200 million people. What happened? The Arab countries should have wiped Israel off the map in
DM 13
Cosmetic Dentistry
Nothing since that Ancient Sumerian fashioned the first toothbrush from a simple twig has impacted the dental field more than cosmetic dentistry. Today it is possible for the average American to sport the same picture perfect smile as any celebrity. Cosmetic dentistry encompasses several different procedures which we will investigate. You may even have some of these procedures in your mouth right now. . .in fact the odds are that you have had some type of cosmetic dental procedure in your lifetime. It’s important to meet with your dentist for an initial examination to determine if you are a candidate for cosmetic dental work. Your teeth must be in good condition before any cosmetic work is undertaken. If any type of dental disease is present, your dentist will explain what needs to be accomplished before proceeding with cosmetic work. Once that is determined the dentist will explain the various cosmetic options available that are suitable for your needs, whether it be braces, bridges, bonding, veneers, bleaching and so on. Whitening is one of the primary reasons that people consider cosmetic procedures. But, it’s important to realize that often whiteners alone may not help. In fact, studies by the American Dental Association have shown that teeth with a yellowish tone will whiten well with a bleaching process whereas teeth that are brownish may not bleach well and grayish teeth may not bleach well at all. If you have had other cosmetic processes done and then decide to try whitening, you could end up with a very undesirable effect of not having all your teeth uniform in color. It’s important to follow the advice of your dentist and not be swayed by advertising or how your best friends’ work turned out!
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Dating Online - The new way to meet people
A lot has changed since the days of matchmaking and escorted evenings out. Dating in the 21st century has taken many turns, among these the emerging popularity of meeting partners online. Online dating has many benefits. The shy dater can open up and get to know a person without having to deal with first-date jitters that often come from fear of the unknown. By the time he or she meets the potential paramour, they have already established a comfort level that allows the date to flow much more smoothly. At the other end of the spectrum, social butterflies love online dating because of the number of fish in the sea. With so many people to choose from, booking several dates in a short amount of time is easy. Online dating allows you to be discreet, and it also enables you to be choosy. You choose partners based on common interests gleaned from dating profiles. This is an attractive alternative to approaching a potential mate in a bar going on looks alone. As the online dating community has grown, so too have the number of vendors willing to help you promote yourself. Professional writers and photographers offer services to assist you with your dating profile. They hawk services to help you attract more hits to your online profile, which obviously helps lead to more dating options. Dating websites vary. Some require a fee to enjoy certain benefits, such as the ability to post a picture or short video. Other dating sites offer free private e-mail accounts and access to thousands of profiles without paying a dime. When engaging in online dating, however, it is important to exercise caution. Remember that anyone with Internet access has access to these sites. It is virtually impossible for dating sites to weed out the bad seeds; the online dater must take care in setting up dates with strangers. When first meeting face-to-face, choose a public place. Don't divulge too much information until you have a good idea of the person's character. Be careful not to tell too much too soon. With a responsible attitude and an open mind, online dating can be fun, safe, and exciting. Â
Does Online Dating Work? Dating Online is currently the Internets biggest craze, and its here to stay! But does it actually work? I mean, there are tons of Dating websites, but their success with matchmaking is kept rather low key, and I found out why. When I was searching for Online dating websites, I felt that I couldn’t trust many of the companies and that they were just trying to get money out of me. After many hours of research I was exhausted by the idea of Online Dating, it just seemed more hassle than what it was worth, but I was determined to see it through. A lot of websites that I researched were either free or had rock bottom membership fees, and I found that these were the worst to go to, bar a few exceptions. Eventually I found a handful of websites that I could trust and were worth the money that they were charging, but it just took so long to find these trust-worthy sites. So I signed up and begrudgingly paid the membership fee. One of the most important aspects I learnt early on is that your personal profile that you place on the dating website should be immaculate! By this I mean spend time modifying and perfecting your profile, as this is what counts the most! The last thing you want is to be receiving messages from other adults who are just not right for you, its better to make contact with another adult who is very similar to yourself, than to make contact with 10 adults who only share a few similarities. Eventually I started meeting other people who were very compatible to myself, and as a result have made 2 great friends who are now a major part in my life and have been going out with my long-term girlfriend for over a year (I’m planning a trip to New York at Christmas, so that I can propose to her!)
Online Dating has worked wonders for me, even though it’s taken time to get their, and I Strongly believe that if you spent time looking for the right Dating website, that’s suits you and your needs then you will also have similar success. This thought gave me a brainwave.
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e-Matchmaking: Can a Computer Program Find Love For You?
I logged on to a dating site the other day and was greeted by a large, flashing message. It promised that if I took the time to answer a series of questions that they would find a "perfect match" for me. Imagine that? All the work and worry of being single - gone! We truly have evolved! Not only can computer programs manage the entire traffic system of a city and make chess grandmasters cry, but now they can lead my perfect match right to my doorstep. I always wanted a Stepford wife, I hope it comes assembled. The recent trend in Internet Dating has been the use of a "computer personality test" of some sort. Websites claim that these tests, usually developed by a "top psychologist", have the ability to understand you and your needs through a series of questions. Confused? Lost in love? Problems communicating? Don't worry, the Online Dating Hal 5000 can figure you out! In fact, when you're done, this computer program will know your needs and desires better than you do. Remember the Broadway play “Fiddler on The Roof”? You might not, it was the first Broadway play I went to when I was seven. A song that always stuck in my head for some reason was “matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match…” The song starts as a plea to the matchmaker to bring true love straight to the altar; someone beautiful, rich, intelligent, and perfect. But by the end of the song, the singer realizes that the Matchmaker might not be up to the task. She decides that
GPS location is also a successful tool that mobile marketing utilizes. It can direct the text message blast within a certain mileage of the business or target certain demographics specifically. By reaching a more precise target, there is no wasted circulation and the message is delivered to the intended target audience. Through the help of mobile carriers, there may be user profiles to better pinpoint a target audience. Mobile marketing uses geography to make advertising integrate into a campaign, focusing at home or away. The use of an effective mobile marketing campaign has the chance to double a business' revenue but at the cost of $100,000, in 2007. In a recent campaign I conducted for a counseling business, the use of text message appointment reminders and online booking doubled the profit intake for the business. Since mobile marketing is a recent advertising campaign, there are still challenges to be considered. But, it has proven to be an effective and upcoming marketing medium. The beginning of mobile marketing has been successful and shines hope on upcoming advances for companies such as AdMob, Quattro Wireless, Millennium Media, JumpTap, and InMobi. Future mobile marketing may include video messages, advertising with games, screen savers and coupons. Mobile marketing has proved to be a success for many businesses, and is an upcoming leading medium in the advertising world.
Fun Dating Ideas to Spice Up Your Marriage
One of the best benefits of marriage is that you have a permanent dating partner. Don't let the fun end after the honeymoon. Here are some ideas for fun dates.
1. Spend an afternoon at the opera. These aren't as expensive as you might think. Check out a local college for possible discounts on campus performances. If you go, be sure to check out the plot of the story beforehand.
Are you more of an adventurous type? Check out some of these ideas.
2. Sample a variety of cafe's. Instead of just staying at one restaurant, have dinner at one place and dessert at another. Try to find places within walking distance, this way you can enjoy the scenery.
* Get together with friends and make your own movie. You could also film a scavenger hunt. These are a blast to film and to watch.
* Design a card board box car and order your favorite meals at a fast food restaurant.
Are you a married couple looking for some cheap dating ideas? You could:
3. Head to the zoo. The zoo can be quite a fascinating place. Check out everything from pengiuns to gorillas. If you're more of an aquatic fan, check out your nearest aquarium. 4. Up for peanuts! A summer ball game is always fun, whether it's major league or little league. 5. Hit the outdoors. Pack a lunch and head to the nearest trails or even learn to kayak. 6. Check out the museums. Whatever your interests, you're sure to find a museum that matches your tastes. The next time you're out on a dinner date. Stop in at a museum before-hand. 7. Picnics are always a pleasure. Pack a lunch and a blanket and head to your nearest park.
- Sketch your dream-house floor plan and talk about the possibilities of each room. - Attend an art festival. - Walk in the rain. - Build a fire, turn out the lights and talk for hours. - Go swimming in the middle of the night. - Build a snowman together. - Take a bike ride. - Have a candlelight picnic in the backyard. - Share a milkshake with two straws. - Go to a coffee shop. - Raid the kids room and fly a kite. Hope these ideas help to put a little quirky fun into your marriage.
DM 18
Get Married to a Guy You Can Have Fun With Forever
How often do your married friends complain about husbands who spend weekends on the couch watching games? Didn't they notice these guys were sports fanatics while they were dating? Did they think things would change after the wedding? Life is fraught with ups and downs, so it's critical to marry someone you can have fun with, today and fifty years from now. Here's how you can find that person: 1. Write down a list of the things you like to do. Then do them. I have a theory that if all the singles who claim to enjoy long walks on the beach actually took long walks on the beach, they'd meet, get married, and the personal ad industry would collapse. If you like to read, hang out in a bookstore. If the bookstore has a cafe, become a regular there. If you like beer and bands, grab a friend and get to know the faces at a neighborhood bar (take a cab; no drinking and driving, please). Do what you like to do.
Do what you like to do. This technique worked for a good friend of mine. After discovering that his longtime girlfriend had been cheating on him, he left her. Then he gave himself time to mourn and moved on. He had two hobbies, cooking and hiking. He enrolled in a cooking class and joined a hiking club, in the hopes of widening his social circle. After the cooking class ended, he invited his classmates to a party at his house and encouraged them to bring friends. Guess who showed up? A fun, attractive (and faithful!) woman who enjoys entertaining and good food as much as he does. They've been married three years now. 2. Write down a list of things you'd like to do but haven't gotten around to yet. Would you like to build a bookcase? Check out the list of classes at your local Home Depot. Want to learn how to fix your transmission? Take an auto repair course. Women are bound to meet men there. If you're bent on improving your money management skills, take a finance course. You'll likely meet smart, upwardly mobile people. The key to attracting a husband who you can have fun with 10, 25, and 50 years from now is to do the things that make you happy today. Then see who shows up
DM 20
Getting an Exciting Life After a Break Up
BREAKING UP. The End. The journey is over. You feel rejected. Hopeless. You don’t want to go back in the jungle again. You may even have that dread feeling of failure. Suddenly, all the love songs at the radio seemed to have been written for you. You want to stay in bed. Shut all the doors and the windows. Bring the kids to your relatives for a while. You don’t feel like talking to anybody now. You swear to yourself that you will never get involved with someone again, half believing it. Life is much more exciting than that. Besides, you are not the last and only person experiencing a separation. And, it might not be your last breakup either. With the proper mental tools, break ups could be less painful. Breaking up, I prefer to call it an opportunity for a change of habits. It’s like having an addiction and you need to cut yourself from it. It’s painful but necessary. The good news about it is that it doesn’t need to be Hell on Earth. There are effective ways to go through this process with smooth sailing. First, you absolutely need to stop thinking of the great moments that you had together. Chances are that those moments happened a long time ago, not to mention, not that often either. Keep in mind the reasons of your break up, until your mind is in sync with your heart. And don’t keep in touch with that person for now, if you can. Or reduce the frequency of contacts at its bare minimum. Write a letter You need to let the emotions out. Write everything that frustrates you, made you angry, sad, etc… You don’t necessarily need to send it to your previous partner but at least, this is a proven healing process for you to calm the storm inside. You can choose to keep it somewhere to read for yourself later, when the healing process will be over. You might discover some strength that you are not aware about you. Make new friends. You need to socialize more the ever. How do you do that? Go to fairs, reading clubs, sports clubs, art clubs, etc… ask questions, make conversations, and exchange phone numbers with people to do activities and keep in touch. Offer to help with something. Friends come fast like that. Don’t jump into another relationship to avoid facing your feelings of emptiness. Chances are that there will be other disappointments. You need to finish the process of unblocking all of your emotions to freely open your heart again to someone else, and increase the chances of success. Pamper yourself. Treat yourself. Take naps in the Sun. Get a pedicure. A great massage. Read the bible. Read inspiring texts that will give you strength ( Like the book “Chicken soup for Soul”). Go jogging. Do someYoga. Listen to Jazz music. Eat well. Go pick apples with the kids. You know what I mean; do all the activities that help put your soul to calm. Stay away from unsupportive people Neutralized your mind and heart from some comments of your family and friends. I am sure that they really want your good. But they maybe are a little bit …. “clumsy” in the way they express their caring for you “ When are you going the get married? You can’t go from people to people like that! You are getting old, you know?” or “ There are other people you know; 1 lost, 10 found!” (I hate that one). Hang out with people who are taking your mind off things, who understands and gives you the support that you need. I remember reading this about hardships that “ It is not only time that heals the heart, but also all the warmth and
Find
at
least
3
Passions
You will need to get all the strength that you can possibly have to open your heart to fun. Fill your life to the fullest with different passions. Take cooking lessons, take a gold lesson, try other sports, and try painting, other arts, and hobbies of some kind. Learning a new thing will keep your mind busy, you will have a new skill and will feel good about yourself and, you will be more interesting for a future mate. One of my friends was single for at least 2 years. She decided to join a badminton club. The first semester, nobody was really interesting for her. In the second semester, there was still no new blood coming. But she still subscribed because she enjoyed the activity so much. The third semester, this dark handsome policeman join the league and it didn’t take long before they hooked up. And today, they share, among other things, this passion. It’s an opportunity to have fun together and to be together. Date
Again.
Yes! You read right! Date again! Jump right back on the Horse again! You need to rebuild your self-esteem and being in situations where people from the opposite sex find you interesting will prevent that you go down into that whole. You don’t need to get deeply emotionally involved. Date to have fun. Keep the relationships light and simple. Where do you find those people? Go on dating sites, classifieds, friends, and acquaintances. Since you are not out to find a husband and wife yet, you won’t be threatening. Get
to
the
stage
of
feeling
great
being
single
Take the time to Truly feel fulfilled in a single life. This is a powerful way to find true love because if you are having a great life alone, you will be willing give up your exciting single lifestyle for the person that is really worth it. Be
and
Feel
Successful
And if you are out for revenge the greatest revenge of all is Success. Take this opportunity to develop your personality even more. Your children, if you have, will be proud of you and people around you will admire your strength and more opportunities will occur. If you were to consider coming back with your partner, start considering it not before 6 months to a year after the break up. This has given time to you and your partner to reflect on your mutual faults and strengths, and to heal. Experiencing loss is a difficult moment of our life to pass. But you can take this opportunity to prove to yourself, once again, how much of a winner you are; take this opportunity to transform yourself even more. If you transform your life while you are not in a relationship, with a partner, you will collect the fruits of these initiatives.
DM 21
Got attitude?
Probably you do have attitude, but what is it? Jaded, self-protective? Frightened? Is "scared to death" too strong? What you want, a plan to get there, and an attitude to match is vital for partnering success. Think about it: if you are sure that what you are doing won't work, chances are very good that you will be right. It’s like planning a trip to where you really don't want to go, but it is the only route you know. Who wants to spend their vacation in the city dump? That’s just what you are deciding to do if you are saying things to yourself like "There are no good men out there," or "Women are just looking for a fat wallet," or "It’s not going to work, so why try?" You can be sure with those kinds of attitudes, you won't find any good men, or will just find golddigging women, or you won't get anywhere at all. Do you know how, when you suddenly become interested in something, you start noticing it everywhere? A few months ago, I got a sudden inspiration that I wanted a white convertible, right out of the blue. And then I started noticing convertibles. Never knew that there were so many of them around, but then again, I hadn't been looking before. It’s the same way with those PT Cruisers -- I think they are as cute as a button, and I notice them. I do not notice Cadillac’s or Chevrolets or BMW’s. That’s the way it works with attitude and dating. You get a "destination" in your mind, where you are heading, and then, both consciously and unconsciously, you notice things and make choices that get you there. So it is very important, if you want success, to have success as your destination.
I am convinced, that for everyone who wants one, there is a perfect mate Out There. And, if you are looking, it is crucial for you to believe that too. The question is where this person is, finding him or her, and how long it will take. Those are the real questions. So can you believe? Can you adopt an attitude of bemused curiosity? Of wondering who your sweetheart will be and when and where he or she will manifest themselves? Of readying your life to accommodate sharing with another? Of hopeful expectancy? Of an opening to possibility and an acceptance of what is to come? Just try an Attitude Adjustment and see what happens.
How Did Online Dating Become So Popular?
The reason is pretty simple. It is very much the same reason that the internet itself became so popular. The Internet opens up a whole new world of communication and contact. And the reasons for this are given below. Speed
Options and Opportunities
Try to picture what used to happen earlier in the days when people had to depend on the good ol’ postal system. During those days, a person had to wait for one or two days for a letter to get across to a person who lived in the same state itself. The second person in turn would take one or two days to respond and this letter would take on or two days to get back to the first person.
The Internet provides for other options like voice chat or video conferencing and stops short only of the physical touch. But then who would want to start a relationship by touching right away? You can see a person, talk to a person, and listen to the person’s voice, can you think of a better way to start a date?
So in effect, a single correspondence would stretch over a week. But now it’s a totally different story. The time taken for the first letter and the response has been brought to an amazing 2 minutes! Waiting may make the heart grow fonder but e-mail makes two people get close faster!
Economy
Privacy The Internet provides for absolute privacy too. One can carry out communication with another person in the absolute privacy of one’s bedroom or bath room or wherever one chooses to be. There is no fear of eavesdropping (ugh) or over hearing (shudder!) thanks to e-mail and chat facilities.
All this and more is possible thanks to the internet and the best part is that all this comes to you for peanuts. All you need is a P.C (who doesn’t have one?) and an Internet Connection (how can anybody live without one) and you are all set. The only thing more you could ask for is a step by step guide to find your dream date…well here it is!
DM 23
How do I get him or her to talk to me?!!!!
This is a common concern in our society for single people of any age; how to make contact with someone that we like on a soft matter without being forward. The truth of the matter is that we have the opportunity to meet that special person everyday; at the bus station, at the grocery store, at church, at a class, at the gym, at the coffee shop, at the library.
1. Eye contact There has to be a little game of eye contact. He looks at you. You look at him. You look away. You look again. He looks at you again. You smile. He smiles back. And so on... And Men, you keep your eyes on her until she looks back.... and maybe, smiles. Then, approach her and introduce conversation. The easiest way is to say :" Hi! My name is _______. What is yours?" And say something nice about her. Something about her hair, something about the color that she is wearing, or the make up. Whatever you find nice and feminine about her appearance. Later on, VERY IMPORTANT, say something nice about HER personality. Not on a physical level, but on a mental level. Is she intelligent? Did you notice that she is sweet? Did you notice that she how strong her values are? Do like that? Well then, go ahead and say it. The impact is worth the effort 2. Smile. It's the simplest way to have eye contact softly. Not many people do this and this transforms that way we are perceived. I saw once on TV. a report on some kind of monkey in the African jungle; two males were fighting to get a female and to stop the fight, one had to show his teeth to the other one. For us human, smiling can have an emotional impact that could lead to dramatic effects on our lives. Exercise: Smile to at least 5 strangers everyday, even if the person is not attractive to you. Be careful not to look as if you were "simple of mind". Just like a glance, a brief smile by looking in the eye and let go. Try to get the habit, you will be surprise of the impact that you will have on other. Smiling is inviting and soon enough, it will become a reflex that could let you go far. I know one coworker got a promotion because the upper management tought he was a candidate with the skills to do the job but also because he seemed like someone with whom it is easy to get along with.
3. Introduce conversation. The easiest way to introduce a conversation is to ask a question. Then, follow it with a short amusing story about the situation. For example, if you are at the grocery store and you see that cute girl near the peas section, excuse yourself and ask her what she would recommend. After she has answered, follow by a joke you have seen on TV or something that happened to you about peas when you were younger. Laughing or make a person laugh is a quality that you have to develop. One important thing; don't think of the rejection; it will paralyze you. If they decline, say to yourself that there must be a good reason - they are already in a relationship or not ready to get involved yet, etc..- Move on to the next one. Very important. Don't let one or two declines prevent you from meeting that special person. If you don't take charge of your love life, who will? 4. Then you can pass on to the next step: You give your phone number or ask for it. Simply. That is the lowest pressure invitation because it leaves the decision to the other person to call you. Or not. That way, no one is getting hurt. You can meet tons of people that way and be a "hot commodity". The more you will have dates, chances are that you will feel better about yourself and you will become more attractive to the eyes of the others. Say something like " You seem like a fun person and I would like to see you again for coffee. I don't have much time right now so I am leaving you my phone number and call me next week and we will arrange for meeting. It was nice meeting you" You can invite that person early in the conversation and let that person decide if they will call you. No pressure for anyone. Imagine if you do that to 3 people per week, chances are that you will have a busy dating life. You will make all of your unhappy married friends envious. Those are just basic instructions to meet people. However, be creative. Try new method. At worst, somebody will say "no". At best, you may meet the person of your dreams...
Menn er ikke et mysterium når De lærer lese dem! If you know how to read Norwegian, then you know that the title of this article is: “Men are not a mystery when you know how to read them!” But if you don’t read Norwegian then you were left in the dark. My point? Most women have no idea how to read men. Sure, we may think that we know what they’re thinking; we may think that we know what they want, but the truth is: Most of us would have better luck translating Norwegian than we would understanding what’s really going on in the average man’s head. Here’s a quick quiz for you. Let’s see how you do: 1. I try to be nice to men and they reject me (T/F). 2. I want men to please me but they rarely do (T/F) 3. I have no idea what triggers a man to reject a woman (T/F) 4. I end up turning off men who seem interested in me (T/F) I said it was a quick quiz, so I won’t bother listing the hundreds of other “male mysteries” that we are confronted with every day. It’s enough to simply say: “What in the hell do they really want and how do I show them that I have it?” Look, get your mind out of the bedroom for a minute. We all know that men have two entirely different brains and that one of those brains has only one goal in life. If that’s your only goal as well, then you don’t need to understand how men think. All you have to do is waive your booty around and guys will snap you up at night and spit you out in the morning. But if you are truly interested in finding someone that you can have a committed relationship with (whatever that means to you), then you’re going have to start figuring out how that other brain works. I’m talking about the brain that’s more complex; the one with multiple needs, feelings, and ego. Unfortunately, when you start trying to get some attention from that brain, everything turns Norwegian on you.
How to Have Better Relationships with Men It may be fun and easy to blame the language barrier on the guys, but this failure to communicate is not their fault. Now some of you are going to hate me for saying this, but the truth is – the fault is ours. Let me tell you a short story that will illustrate what I mean. A few years ago I went to Toronto for business. I walked into a convenience store to buy some mints and a bottle of water. The clerk rang up the order and gave me the price in Canadian dollars. I asked her how much that was in American dollars. She replied “I don’t know, we don’t accept American dollars.” I was shocked! “You don’t accept American dollars?” She replied “If I came into your store in America and tried to pay with Canadian dollars, would you take them?” I saw her point immediately. I was expecting her version of “normal” to match my version of normal. It didn’t match and I left the store without my mints and water. Well friends, we women make the very same error every time we try to communicate with men. Our vision of “normal” doesn’t match theirs. Is that their fault? No. It’s our fault because we don’t bother to try and understand what their vision is. Now, the argument could be made that men don’t make much of an effort to understand our vision of normal either. And while that is certainly true, it’s not relevant to the discussion. What is relevant is that ONE of us has to make the effort and, if you’re not getting what you want from your relationship with men, then it might as well be you who tries to bridge the language barrier. And that leads me to my final point for today. I know exactly how to communicate with a man’s “other” brain. I know exactly how to get men to do what I want them to do. I know exactly what they are thinking, and I know how to attract a man and how to keep him from rejecting me. I wasn’t born knowing all of this, and I certainly can’t read Norwegian. But I can read English and, if you can as well, then you really should get your
DM 26
Instant Dating Strategies Anyone Can Use
Most of us walk around caught up in our own thoughts. We don't look at people as we walk down the street and we have the radio blasting in the car so we don't even notice those single, sexy individuals in the cars next to us. Tip #1 Get out of your head and into your environment. Instead of saying that there aren't any available guys out there, why not take your head out of your book at Barnes and Noble and notice if anyone is noticing you? There are probably plenty of attractive men out there dying to ask you out. Your body language may be part of the reason why they don't. Tip #2 Have open body language. This means no crossed arms. No hiding behind books. No hunching your shoulders. Tip #3 Make eye contact. Instead of looking down when a cute guy looks at you, meet his gaze. The right eye contact can be sexier than the hottest verbal conversations. Tip #4 Smile more. Studies have proven that a smiling face is thought to be friendlier and more attractive than someone who goes around with a tight jaw. Relax your jaw and allow your lips to be at least partly parted at all times. Notice the difference in how many more people smile, look your way and approach you.
DM 27
IS IT LUST OR LOVE?
Far too many people, both men and women alike, confuse lust for love. Physical attraction alone will not withstand the test of time in relationships. Physical attraction is an important factor but must never be the only factor you rely upon when choosing a mate. Many make the mistake of confusing lust and love and end up broken-hearted when the relationship doesn't last. Perhaps you're wildly attracted to someone and thoughts of that person dominate your mind a good portion of the day and night. Perhaps you can't wait until the next time the two of you will be together again. When you are together you can't keep your hands off one another and when you're apart, you fantasize about the next time you can see one another. True love and lust are easily confused because they are so much alike. As a rule of thumb, if you share few other interests and have nothing in common other than an overwhelming physical desire for one another...it may be lust. If you have nothing of real value to say to one another and have difficulty relating to one another outside the sexual arena...it may be lust. If you don't particularly enjoy one another's company unless you're having sex...it may be lust. On the other hand, if your relationship is based on factors other than physical attraction and sex is not necessarily the number one priority...it may be love. Most long-term relationships are built on a strong friendship which turns into love over time. Having sex is not the driving force behind the relationship, but is a nice sideline to it.
There really is such a thing as "love at first sight". It happens to many people and the relationship may last for the rest of their lives. A budding relationship based on lust feels much the same as one which is truly "love at first sight". So how do you tell the difference? Ask yourself the following questions. Read each question carefully and really think about it before answering. When answering, try to be as truthful as possible. If you can honestly and sincerely answer "yes" to all or nearly all of the questions, it may be safe to assume what you feel for the other person is actually love and not merely lust. There is a very fine line between lust and love because the two of them are closely related. Being able to tell the difference can save you from wasting your time pursuing an unhealthy relationship which is doomed to eventual failure. If your long-term goal is to seek out a partner with whom you can build a solid, lifetime commitment, knowing the difference between lust and love is an essential and vital skill you'll want to master. Learning to accept a relationship for what it really is can mean the difference between a broken heart and a happy, fulfilling, lifetime of bliss with your partner.
LOVE at first sight
Yes, men think so...or is it 'lust' at first sight? How can a woman or man 'really' know? If a woman thinks it is 'love at first sight', she may have found an incredibly 'hot' guy who matches her ideal social persona 'catch'. If this guy actually knows how to be a natural, all women will want him and she will have to fight with others to 'keep him' (I can teach you to be this man). Otherwise most of them appear to be quite boring because they try to impress her and don't 'get it'. But when dealing with 'love at first sight', yes it might be, but then longer term dynamics start to sink in and kind of spoil it. Beauty is in the eye of the beerholder, I mean, beholder.
'Love at first sight' is usually only perceptionally based if not in its entirety. No one can match up ideally to one person's expectation of who they are or who they should be. Once you find out more about them, you're going to be disappointed in what you thought they were. See how selfish we as people really are?! Eventually you go through the hardships of a 'real' relationship and very very rarely will everything work out perfectly where the people are a real match (at least in our highly developed, opinionated, individualistic cultural society). You are only throwing your perception or ideals on who you think that person is or should be (I have done this a lot in the past). We want a person to be the ideal match to what WE think they should be. Most often if not all the time, we find out they are not actually what we idealized and then are a little disappointed. A real relationship is going to take a lot of work and a lot more work than two 'simpler' people. If you can spark attraction shortly after you meet a woman, there is a more realistic chance she will feel deeper emotions for you than her social persona (of what states what she says she wants) and she will often forgive your other misgivings as long as you understand natural attraction. This is actually very generous of her because now, guys (way) below her level physically actually have a chance. The process of attraction is slightly different for men and women. Men will often instantly disqualify women for a sexual relationship based on their looks (ahem), while women keep an open mind to see who knows how to make them 'feel' the feelings that they respond to so powerfully physiologically and emotionally. They are interested in a mans character attributes because that are things that can be of interest for the long haul. These feelings have a biological root which she cannot choose or control. This is why an average looking guy who 'get's it' can have more of a chance than a good looking guy who easily proves himself wrong to her right away. She will resent that most of her counterparts do not 'get it' yet but will be open to starting something with a man who finally can just 'lead her through' the natural process of attraction...then often sex 'just happened' or she got 'swept away'..this is the way it is supposed to be and that she fantasizes about (and reads in those sappy romance novels). Don't be thrown off by what a woman says she wants if you are not that social reflection of her consciousness yourself, she is programmed biologically to react to men who are true naturals with her or who display aspects of being a natural. Do not let that stop you. Her biological inheritance (when in tandem with a true natural man) will override ANY social programming she may have, as long as he maintains true congruency and doesn't 'screw it up'. If you are a natural you probably won't screw it up when you are reaching that part of her (there is much more leniency here). If you are 'walking on egg shells' by trying to be 'qualified' by her social persona, it's virtually a guarantee you'll screw it up even with any small move. Take the very ending of 'Boat Trip' where Roselyn Sanchez says to the wussy Cuba Gooding, Jr. character, "Ok, but you BETTER not screw it up."
ROMANTIC FALL FASHIONS
Get swept away in romance this fall. As usual, designers are pulling out all the stops designing for fashion forward women for Fall 2005. The new look is girlish, innocent romance. Some are calling this new look "Gypsy Romantic." It is accentuated with the use of lush fabrics and rich colors with patterns inspired by middle eastern culture. It's made fun and flirty with embellishments of fur, pearls, sequins, and beading. Velvet coats in gem tone colors such as emerald and ruby with fur trim around the collar. Taffeta dresses in gold with midnight blue velvet accents, elegant woven jacquard jackets with Inca inspired designs, shear sequined viole camisoles. A rich emerald green sweater with a seed-pearl neckline. Indian and Thai inspired tunics paired with pencil pants, a Peruvian inspired woven top paired with a short boiled wool jacket worn with a silk georgette skirt. Layering plays a big role in this new look. Designers have taken this new romantic look into account, right down to your toes. Moroccan-inspired jeweled shoes are being called the "look of the moment." These new jeweled shoes come in a wide array of colors, and fabrics. They feature hand inlaid sequins and seed beading. Some are also further embellished with embroidery. You can find these embellished shoes in flats, wedges, open toes or 4 inch heels. The best part of these shoes is that they're fancy enough to be worn for dress-up with a gown, or to work, yet they have a bit of playfulness about them and can be worn with casual pants, jeans or capris. You can have these shoes do all the talking. Place them center stage by pairing them with a simple black dress and stockings. I guarantee you'll be stopped by strangers who'll think you're Cinderella! There is also the bag of the season, the hobo. It seems that the old saying "everything old is new again" pertains to the hobo bag. Hobo bags have never truly gone out of style. This season the designers bring them to you in a variety of colors and fabrics. Metallic and iridescent leather hobos are hot. Woven fabric bags are hot. Suede or corduroy. Some designers have captured an edgier rock and roll look using studs, buckles and whip stitching as accents. Play with any of these fashions. Buy a new tunic and pair it with your favorite jeans and boots. Anything goes. By adding a few new choice pieces to your existing wardrobe you too can have the "Gypsy Romantic" look.