Making Self Care a Habit

WORDS: Beverley Le Cuirot Founder, WellBeing World

Whether we are busy running around after a lively 3 year old, or taxi to three active teenagers; a volunteer in the community, or a carer for elderly parents; an international corporate high flyer, or an entrepreneur with an exciting, but fledgling business; or perhaps a mix of all three … wherever we are in life, our lives are full to bursting … so when do we find the time for ourselves? And is it really necessary? I would suggest yes, absolutely yes.

It is a certain truth that we cannot pour from an empty cup. I know, I’ve been there so many times, and I’ve worn myself out on all occasions. I’ve been the international corporate high flyer, and I’ve been the entrepreneur; I’ve also had the worry of parents with cancer, family members with mental health problems, and I’ve cared for three very precious, aged and ailing fur babies. I’ve also volunteered, studied, and worked with a number of businesses, alongside my own businesses. The late night working has never stopped. Until now.

I have finally listened to my own advice, and I have started to put myself first. How many times I needed to tell myself that, I don’t know.

I’ve worked through the night (in the 1980s when that’s what you did in the Advertising game); I’ve worked through my lunch hour every day for a year thinking my international job was more important; I’ve eaten a diet heavy in processed foods, sugar, salt, and tea and coffee by the gallon (not good habits for the digestive system); and I’ve had pleurisy and flu more times than I can remember.

I have also teetered on the edge of total exhaustion and burnout, diagnosed following a family bereavement and relentless periods of working long hours, taking on too much and not managing my own stress levels. Yes, much of this was when in the corporate world … and things have changed now as I learn more about how to manage my own wellbeing but I’ve done the same once or twice whilst working in wellbeing – when I really should have known better.

I think we all know what we should do to help our own wellbeing – for me, it’s based around the four essentials of Eat, Move, Sleep, Relax – but we often don’t do it. Why is that?

A lot has to do with self-worth; we always seems to put everyone else’s needs ahead of our own. Perhaps like me, you had a loving and well meaning Mother who often reminded you not to be selfish. Well, sorry, Mum but self-care is not selfish. It is truly is the most self-LESS act there is, for if we are not happy and strong, how can we care for those around us, our children, parents, pets, employees, clients … all of whom depend on us? It is an essential investment.

So, I recently started my own 30 Day Self Care Challenge. It wasn’t easy thinking of me and what I needed every day, but I kept going. Little by little, it grew to be something I really looked forward to. There are many different things you can do for yourself, it really depends what means something to you. It can include a regular 10 minute Meditation before you start your day; a Gratitude review at the end of the day; signing up for that Yoga class; walking round the block at lunchtime or a quick visit to the beach to breathe in the fresh air. Go on a shopping spree if you must, but not too much!

It could be taking time each day to read a few pages of a book or a magazine (WellBeing World is always a winner!), catching up with the film you’ve been meaning to watch; planning a date night, or a coffee with a close friend. It can also be mindset related, ie, valuing yourself and saying a polite ‘No’ to something you really don’t want to do – and not feeling guilty about it. Forget ‘should’. And let things go.

Taking the time for Mindful Eating is also a good one; cutting out processed foods and cooking from scratch (got to plan ahead a little with this one, though!). And it is most definitely allowing yourself to have enough sleep – 8 hours if you can – but as with all these things, everyone is different and you will find your own happy medium.

One of the most important things is to schedule specific time slots for yourself in your diary – and absolutely not to feel guilty about it. It’s still not easy though. Especially if you are a freelancer or contractor and if you’re not working you’re not being paid. But if you wear yourself out, you won’t be working at all, so it’s a good investment of your time. The same with children. Yes, they need you, but you need you, too.

Plan ahead so you can give yourself the time you need, even if just 10/15 minutes every day. At the time of writing I am on Day 20 of my Self Care Challenge, and it is getting easier and more natural every day. So much so, I am confident in saying I am developing a habit which I know will serve me and my loved ones well. They will thank me for it, and I will thank myself, too!