Safeguarding Newsletter
Designated Safeguarding Lead (DSL)
Delyth Lynch Deputy Head (Safeguarding) Biology 07825 419190
Deputy DSL David Walker Deputy Head (Pastoral & Wellbeing) Physics 07717 765343
Deputy DSL
Ed Venables Director of Admissions Economics 07766 168286
Senior Deputy DSL Jess Goves P&R teacher Former HM 01344 751774
Deputy DSL Gaby Moretti Chambers Operations Manager (Wellington Health & Fitness Club) 01344 444243
If you are concerned for a child’s welfare, health or safety or if you have
member of staff or member of the general public – please contact
A note from the DSL
There has been so much going on in the world of safeguarding over the last few months, that it has been difficult to hone in on one or two important topics and so this edition is loosely themed around current online issues and trends. I am also slightly concerned that it is November already. Yes, November where did that come from? There have been times this term that I have simply felt “weary”: the combination of being genuinely upbeat and enthusiastic about being “at Wellington” again – with concerts, matches and experiencing the buzz of seeing young people achieve alongside thoughts of feeling overwhelmed or just tired and wondering how on earth I managed to cope so well with everything before the pandemic. What I am forgetting, of course, is that the pandemic is still ongoing and we continue to live alongside subtle complexities which are genuinely making life harder to navigate.
A few weeks ago I sent my daughter to school with two packets of Colin the Caterpillar cakes for a bake sale because I was too
busy and, quite frankly not interested in staying up all night in order to whiz up a Nigella traybake. I felt guilty for a millisecond until I accepted that I was just doing my best. We all need to continue to remind ourselves daily that all of the people around us are doing just that; I am a firm believer that no one gets up in the morning and deliberately thinks that they are going to make people’s lives miserable that day.
It is so important, however, that we all do just take time to slow down and notice; that we don’t turn a blind eye to something because we are too busy, especially when it comes to our own children. We need to fully listen to what they are saying, as well as what they are not saying and reminding ourselves that it is what we do – the actions that we take – which are more important than the words we say. This concept is vital in the context of safeguarding; as I said in my ‘Year Ahead’ talks, I need all parents to be willing to be open and honest about incidents and issues so that we are aware of the landscape, can
concerns about the behaviour of any adult – parent, the Designated Safeguarding Lead or a Deputy immediately.help accordingly and also use information to educate our young people. If we fail to notice, we fail in our duty of care to our children because we are limiting the range of our thinking and our actions. As the Scottish Psychiatrist Ronald Laing said, “And because we fail to notice, we fail to notice that we fail to notice.”
We are all busy, but I wonder if taking a few minutes at the end of every day to work through the following questions could mean that we are better attuned to the needs of those around us and therefore in a stronger position to support, act with compassion and be present for our children.
What did I notice about myself today? The way in which
I dealt with things, spoke to people or the way I felt?
What did I notice about my family today?
What did I notice about my children today?
...and what do I need to do about it?
PS - On the evening of the bake sale, my daughter informed me that the first cakes to disappear were “the Colins”. The under 11s did not scrutinise the table looking for a home-made sponge. They looked for the ones with smiley faces and the most chocolate. That’s an excellent metaphor for life isn’t it?
INTRODUCING. . . Jenny Griggs, our new Head of Student Emotional Health & Wellbeing
winding both of these areas down so that I can focus on the role at Wellington.
What led to you being interested in child and adolescent psychology?
Tell us your story! You have been at Wellington for a month now, but what did you do before?
I qualified as a Clinical Psychologist in 2003 when I completed my Doctorate at UCL. I then worked for 12 years for an NHS CAMHS (Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service) team in Cheltenham.
In 2015 my family and I moved back to Wokingham and I set up an independent practice offering therapy to both young people and adults. I also do some work for the University of Reading supervising NHS staff who are training in CBT. I am now
I decided when I was 16 that I wanted to be a Clinical Psychologist, though I can’t quite remember how I even knew this was a profession! I always liked helping people and being a listening ear, and have always been very curious about what makes people the way they are. I completed a degree in Psychology which fuelled my passion to pursue a career in clinical psychology, and started my interest in CBT. Then followed three years of getting work experience to gain a place on a course and most of this work was with young people, in inpatient settings, and here I discovered how much I liked working with young people, particularly teenagers. I then gained a place on the Doctorate course and completed placements with people from across the age range and found again that the group I most liked working with was the teenagers.
What does this new role at Wellington involve?
It is a new role so will be ever evolving. The role will involve working closely with Dave Walker and the pastoral team and having oversight of all the young people at Wellington who are struggling with pastoral issues and making sure that they have the right support in place, whether this comes from the team at Wellington, or from external providers. This will
mean liaising closely with the pastoral and safeguarding teams, HMs, staff in the Health Centre, and the counselling team. I also hope to work closely with students and parents to think about mental health within Wellington and to make sure that everyone has access to the right levels of support, and education around mental health. I am really excited to become part of the team and take on the new role within a system that already places such a huge emphasis on wellbeing and mental health.
What do you enjoy doing, when you are not working? When I am not working I enjoy spending time with my family – my husband and two teenage daughters, and our very adorable 6 year old cocker spaniel, Max. I also love spending time with friends and extended family. Reading when I have the time. And lots of travelling, I enjoy walking, and sometimes more substantial exercise but this very much goes in phases!
Tell us one thing that no one at Wellington knows about you!
As a child and teenager I did a lot of dancing, both ballet and modern. My husband and I performed a cha-cha-cha as our wedding dance. Sort of like Strictly Come Dancing but not quite up to the same level!
IN THE SPOTLIGHT – Pornography and its wider impact on young people
In June, Children’s Commissioner Dame Rachel de Souza warned that children’s access to online porn fuelled sexual harassment and that the use of such website was partly to blame for normalising peer on peer abuse and sexual harassment in schools. She stated that “online hardcore pornography warps boys’ expectations of normal relationships and normalises behaviours that girls are then expected to accept.”
Bringing up the subject with G7 leaders, she highlighted the need for effective age verification online. However, experts warned that blanket porn blocks may be neither effective nor helpful. For example, Ruth Eliot, a sexual violence prevention specialist at the School of Sexuality Education said that trying to stop young people from finding online porn was “a fool’s errand”. “Abstinencebased education around sexuality has never worked. Children choose to watch porn as a result of a perfectly natural and normal curiosity about sexuality. Instead of policing that, we should upskill them on how to experience porn in a way that makes them understand the cultural context and that it’s not an instruction manual.”
But what has research told us about pornography? Clearly there is a lot of discussion about the possible affects and the messages pornography generates about gender, equality and sexuality. What we do know1:
• Nearly half (53%) of children between the ages of 11-16 experience regular exposure to sexual images, rising from 28% of 11-12 year olds to 65% of 15-16 year olds who reported seeing pornography.
• Young males (59%) are more likely than females (25%) to deliberately seek out pornography and to do so frequently.
• 28% reported viewing online pornography for the first time accidentally; 19% searched for it on their own.
• Pornography use can shape sexual practices and is associated with unsafe sexual health practices such as not using condoms and unsafe anal and vaginal sex.
• Pornography may strengthen attitudes supportive of sexual violence and violence against women.
• Attitudes and responses to exposure also vary by gender, with females having more negative views and responses such as shock or distress compared to males, particularly in older teens, who are more likely to experience pornography as amusing, arousing or exciting.
The use of pornography by adolescents is associated with:
• Influencing a young person’s expectations about sex, for example what young men expect their partners to do and vice versa.
• Unsafe sexual health practices such as not using condoms and unsafe anal and vaginal sex.
• Dame Rachel de Souza has spoken out specifically about the evidence which suggests that pornography reinforces the double standards of ‘active male sexuality’ and the passive female receptacle with male adolescents who view pornography being much more likely to view women as sex objects and hold on to sexist attitudes such as women ‘leading men on’.
• Pornography may strengthen attitudes supportive of sexual violence and violence against women. Adolescents who consumed violent pornography were six times more likely to be sexually aggressive compared to those who viewed non-violent pornography or no pornography.
Most children and young people – around 60% – are seeing porn and adult material online through social media sites, which Wi-Fi filters and on-device controls are ineffective to stop. The UK government’s Online Safety Bill was published in May 2021 and under the terms of the Bill, social media companies will be prevented from allowing under-13s onto their platforms, through AI-driven age verification measures. This will mean that children will be protected from a broader range of harmful content and activity, shielding them from harm on the most visited pornography sites and pornography posted on social media.
• Stronger permissive sexual attitudes (e.g., premarital sex, casual sex). There is some evidence that exposure to pornography can increase the likelihood of earlier firsttime sexual experience, particularly for those adolescents who consume pornography more frequently.
1 Quadara, A., El-Murr. A., & Latham, J. (2017).
The effects of pornography on children and young people: An evidence scan. Melbourne, Australian Institute of Family Studies
Whilst most research has focussed on heterosexual men, one study found a link between increased levels of depression and anxiety in females who viewed pornography2. Gay and bisexual adolescents also view more sexually explicit material than heterosexuals which results in a more negative body image as well as increased symptoms of anxiety and depression3. Gay pornography frequently portrays men degrading men and women degrading women which may lead to a normalisation of these attitudes within everyday relationships.
Students at Wellington discuss pornography within their Well-being lessons in the Lent Term. They look at the potential risks and harms that are posed by pornography and use stimulus material to debate an awareness of the debate concerning the effects of pornography.
2 https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/ PMC6088458/
3 https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/ PMC5842099/
Parents should be aware of the following in order to support the work of the Well-being team and to facilitate open conversations around this topic:
• Don’t shy away from discussions on pornography. All parents play a vital role in making sense of their children’s exposure to online pornography and to develop critical thinking in this area. Even if you are not hearing much about pornography from your children or don’t think they are accessing it, you should still assume that they are being exposed and are watching it; perhaps they just aren’t telling you.
• Ensure that you are fully engaged with the current online dangers and opportunities facing your children. Research suggests that parents are less likely to be intimidated by online risks if they are informed and take an active role in the digital lives of their children.
• Be vigilant, especially if your child is prone to taking risks or is emotionally or psychologically vulnerable. Whilst pornography is not accessible over the College internet (due to the filters in place), your children will be able to access material via 3G and 4G. Check your home internet filters too.
• By being open, your children are more likely to seek help or advice if they have been exposed inadvertently to online pornography. Encourage them to open up, reassure them that they wont be punished and help them or signpost them to individuals who may be able to help them report inappropriate requests or content.
Parentology – “How pornography affects the teenage brain” 10 amazing resources to help you talk to your kids about porn can be accessed here.
Signposts for young people:
• Brook: A sexual health and well-being charity for under 25s which offers information, support and guidance for young people on anything from sex and relationships to gender and sexuality. They also provide resources for schools: www.brook.org.uk
• Stonewall: An LGBT charity who offer support to anyone on issues like gender, equality and sexuality and free educational resources for schools: www.stonewall.org.uk
• The Mix: 0808 808 4994 – A charity which offers essential support to under 25s on anything from embarrassing problems and weird questions to please-don’t-make-mesay-it-out-loud thoughts: www.themix. org.uk
WHAT’S GOING ON ? An insight into the world of safeguarding at Welly
our interviewers and also trained 14 new recruits. There has been an extensive review of the VBA interview process (which Wellington has had in place for 8 years now) over the last 9 months. With a new protocol in place, it is our aim that this vitally important aspect of our recruitment is now a little easier to navigate for all involved. Furthermore, Gabby Moretti-Chambers, Ian Davies and Delyth Lynch all trained to become “train the trainers”. If you would ever like to learn more about the process, please do contact HR Director Jacqui Self ( JSelf@wellingtoncol lege.org.uk) or Delyth Lynch.
Instilling a culture of supervision at Wellington
Looking after young people is challenging and emotionally drain ing. The DSL team have received external supervision for a year now, where time is spent reflecting on professional practice and working through any areas of challenge and concern. Recognising the importance of this, Senior Deputy DSL Jess Goves, has been working incredibly hard to put together a sustainable and authen tic supervision policy for Wellington which will support those who are closely involved in safeguarding our young people. In September, four staff – Jess Goves, Iain Sutcliffe, Ed Venables and Delyth Lynch – trained to become supervisors so that supervision could be offered to the HM team. This process will be constantly reviewed and it is hoped that supervision may be offered to oth er groups of staff in the future. If you are interested in knowing more, please contact Jess: jcg@wellingtoncollege.org.uk
VBA (Values Based Attitudes) interviewing
We welcomed VBA expert and consultant Kerry Cleary back to the College in October. She ran a day of refresher training with
WHISPER
Whisper is an anonymous reporting tool which all students can access to report and share in formation and also gain advice on certain issues. Do encourage your children to use it, especially if they are grappling against not wanting to be seen as a “snitch”. It has proved to be an excellent communication tool since its inception in March 2020 with a whole host of concerns coming through, from questions about how to help friends, reporting unkindness or asking for advice about a home situation. It is available on the MyWelly homepage.
Our VBA interviewing training team
