Some Lockdown Reflections

One of the very few benefits of living in lockdown has been an increase in time available for contemplative thought, reflection and, where necessary recalibration. There has been so much for which to be thankful. I am, if not clearer, then even more certain of what it is I value and prioritise, feelings engendered both by absence, in some cases, and increased time to invest in others.

At the very top is my faith. For 25 minutes of my daily hour’s exercise I listen to The Bible in One Year and Nicky Gumbel’s words on three Bible passages. A few of these have been updated to include reference to coronavirus but most do not mention it. Despite that, the same messages repeat. God is in control. Trust him to fulfil his great purposes. Live for eternity, not just for today. It is not rocket science, but it provides perspective and hope in a world that has never been so shattered. Tuning in daily to a few sections of God’s word and listening to Nicky’s exposition has become the central focus of my day. when anxiety or frustration take a hold. Second, again by a distance, is my family. Greater familiarity has not resulted in any greater contempt, in fact quite the opposite. I have never been more tuned in to the needs and current feelings of my own family or to those of my siblings and mother, or to those of my in-laws. How I value their support and love, even if it is not always put into words. How I hope I am able to give back to them a small measure of the enormity they continue to give to me. A resolution I have made is to be more alive to all my family, closer or wider, and to be a better listener. One of the things about remote contact is that it forces me to listen as only one person talks at a time. In real life it is all too easy to switch off mentally whilst giving an appearance of taking things in. Naturally there are still the same issues over which opinions differ but a benefit of group conversation is that these do not tend to surface. It is much harder to enjoy the cut and thrust of debate (i.e.argue) when there are several others in on the conversation and not remotely interested in it.

I wish I were better at living out what the Bible says in practice. I can become anxious when things that should be within my control begin to get out of hand, never more the case than when preparing a meal every fourth day. Even with all the time in the world at my disposal, I am not very good at exercising patience. I can be anything but gentle in my snappy responses

I had no idea, either, that not being able to see family would make me realise how much I miss them.

Third is my health. Especially at the moment, I am just so grateful for the genetic mix that has blessed me with an absence of underlying conditions, apart from some dermatological stuff which sun and early nights resolve naturally. I have missed fewer days from illness in 40 years of teaching than I have on the fingers of one hand. I see colleagues and students coping with debilitating ailments that either prevent them from enjoying sport to the full or making academic progress more difficult and compare that with my own ability to do both. It is humbling but it also provides another reason to be thankful for the set of cards I have been dealt.

Fourth, and a very important fourth is my circle of friends. Lockdown has deprived

me of any more than visual contact with my chums and I miss social time hugely. There are some friends with whom I keep in contact that pre-date marriage; there are some that my wife and I got to know together after we were married and there are more that I have hooked up with during my time at Wellington. There are a few we have got to know thanks to having children of the same age at the same schools. There are a whole lot more with whom I would have a pint in a heartbeat, if it were possible. I have always been gregarious by nature and deprived of an outlet for that, I am diminished.

Fifth is sport. Even more than contact with friends, with whom I can at least talk, the absence of sport leaves a void that is unfillable by any other means. I found myself watching a re-run of the Solheim Cup on television last night. I didn’t even know the outcome and it was played last year. But it was on TV and I was having withdrawal symptoms and it was the only action available. Football, with my allegiance to Crystal Palace, rugby internationals, the beginning of the flat racing season and the first classics at Newmarket, The Masters and, of course, cricket all fill my down time and get my blood racing. I am a sport nut. I wish I could still play more sports actively. If anno domini means I cannot, I want to watch as much as I can, in the areas that interest me. I am having to fill in all sorts of surveys about wellbeing at the moment. The only area in which I can honestly say my wellbeing is being negatively impacted is the absence of live sport. It cuts little ice with some people, who seem to regard sport as a trivial frippery. It isn’t.

Sixth, and last, is the Common Room at Wellington, by which I mean the people, not the location. I have been unbelievably lucky to have shot the breeze in the same room for so long with so many who know so much. Yes, there is a social part of this, but I have come to realise that every day I go to school I learn something new. It may be in a passing comment from a student, it may be in a shrewd and pithy observation from a member of the non-teaching staff. Above all, though, it is in conversation after lunch or during break or after games or in the Social Club or over a night cap that I have broadened my knowledge. The stupendous combined intellect of over 100 individuals, each with specialist areas, most with university degrees or doctorates, all with more than one area of genuine interest outside their academic field, is a gold mine to which I have had privileged access all my working life. I took it for granted for many years but as my time at the chalk-face begins to play out, I realise that it is, above all, what I will miss when I retire.

Wealth? Get serious. Status? Never had any. Possessions? Here today and gone tomorrow. The longer lockdown goes on, the more my heart echoes the words of Henry W Baker, ‘for love in creation, for heaven restored, for grace of salvation, oh praise ye the Lord.’

Mr Dewes, Geography Teacher