WOMEN ON THE FRONTLINES:

How SEVEN People Dealt With the Realities of COVID-19 Crisis

By Lola Mendez

Women are particularly affected by the increased demand for emotional labor from this collective grief and trauma our communities face during this pandemic.

A March 2020 survey from the Pew Research Center found that 47% of women say their personal life has changed drastically during the COVID-19 outbreak. Nearly half of the women said childcare responsibilities have been a struggle, and Pew also reports that women of all ages are more likely to experience high distress.

The time for wellness has become scarce during the pandemic, which has blurred the boundaries between work and home life during quarantine, and diminished physical and social support due to social distancing and mandatory lockdowns.

We spoke to some women about the harsh realities they’re facing during the COVID-19 crisis, and what they’re doing to ease their worries.

Coping With the Loss of a Loved One

Pennsylvanian Lissa Poirot has eye cancer and went through radiation in February. In March, her fiancé was tragically killed. Soon after, she went into lockdown with her two teenagers before they could plan a memorial. “I’m still awaiting the results of my radiation to find out if my tumor is gone while I grieve his sudden loss,” she says. “My fiancé was a rock to me; he managed the finances, and took care of me when I was going through treatment. If the quarantine would have started a week earlier, perhaps he would be here with me, trapped inside.”

Pet Therapy

Poirot has a puppy and is taking dog walks with her kids. “Pets have healing power; they raise serotonin and dopamine levels in our brain which helps with anxiety and depression. Pets provide companionship, a sense of security, and comfort,” Noreen Iqbal, LCSW, and the founder of Olive Branch Therapy Group in New Jersey, says.

Coping with An Unstable Job Market

Julia Metraux lives in Massachusetts and graduated from university during the lockdown. She’s facing challenges with the harrowing employment landscape and dealing with an autoimmune disease, systemic urticarial vasculitis. “I’m worried that I won’t be able to find a full-time journalism job during the pandemic,” she says. “I hoped to find a job with health insurance. My biggest fear is that the pandemic will ruin my hope for the future which is difficult during massive layoffs in this industry, and it feels like most publications have frozen their budgets.”

Sleep as Self-Care

Metraux is prioritizing sleep as a form of self-care. “Sleep around the same time that you usually do each day. This keeps healthy behaviors intact and provides a level of predictability in your day,” Dr. Alex Lee, a Los Angeles-based LCSW and Director of Coaching at Ria Health says.

Coping with Caretaking as a Single Mom

Ruby De Santiago is a single mom in Arkansas receiving no financial support from her son’s father and is the sole provider for her family. “I’m the fun parent and the disciplinarian. I’m tired all the time; it almost feels like I have a newborn again minus the nightly feedings. I don’t have a partner to pitch in economically or emotionally. I feel alone in this parenting journey,” she says. “Being the sole source of emotional, physical, and mental comfort for my son is a heavy weight to carry on my own. I don’t have a partner to carry the burden or co-parent as my ex lives across the country.”

Prioritizing Me-Time

Santiago fits in ‘me time’ whenever she can. “Self-care is critical, especially for caregivers. It’s vital to take care of yourself to be the best mom. Having a cup of tea in the morning and journaling things you’re grateful for is a short, calming activity,” Dr. Nekeshia, a psychologist at her Florida practice, Hammond Psychology & Associates, P.A., says.

Coping with Eating Disorders During the Pandemic

Lydia Rhino lives in Colorado and has been in eating disorder (ED) recovery since 2014 and is afraid of relapsing. She’s dealing with hectic grocery shopping, which is already stressful under normal circumstances. It’s been challenging for her to see body-shaming and an uptick of workout routines on social media. “I cried in the grocery store for the first time in years when items that I purchase routinely were sold out,” she says. “On social media, people are sharing home workouts, posting memes about weight gain, and emphasizing that we can control what we eat and how we exercise.”

Therapy Sessions

Rhino has been reaching out for more support during the pandemic with weekly therapy sessions and virtual support groups. “I felt like I was failing at my recovery because I needed extra support; but I’ve accepted that needing more support is an act of bravery,” she says.

Clinical Psychologist in California Dr. Carla Manly stresses the importance of reaching out for support before you become overwhelmed. “There’s strength, not weakness, in reaching out for support. Support groups can be incredibly helpful for boosting mental health,” she says.

Having a Loved One Who is Sick

In Kansas, Kymberly Thorup is a first-grade teacher and the sole provider for her family as her husband Taylor is battling cancer. “I’m trying to hold it together. Taylor has doctor appointments throughout the week and cannot drive, no one can watch our son, and visitors aren’t allowed. It’s difficult keeping a 4-year-old entertained in a car for hours. Sometimes the appointments are last-minute and I have to have video meetings with my students in the car.”

Playing with Her Child

Thorup has incorporated her son into her fitness routine. “If they don’t want to go on a walk, bring a bug jar and binoculars. If they don’t want to do yoga, try Pokémon yoga,” she says. Dr. Lee says it’s important to stay active and suggests trying new online workout videos, setting a timer for squats throughout the day, or holding a plank before bed at night.

Coping With Loss of Work

Puerto Rican Carmen Portela is the co-founder of a sustainable tour operator, Local Guest. “I’m worried about the future of the tourism industry,” she says. “I worry about the potential consequences of staying in lockdown or reopening the economy, my business failing, and my financial stability. There are days when nothing makes sense and anxiety takes a hold of me.”

Plant Therapy

Portela has found caring for her 25 plants to be therapeutic. “When we’re confined indoors, it’s important to bring nature inside. Plants have a positive effect on mood because the mind equates plant life to the soothing, uplifting realm of nature,” Dr. Manly says.

Dealing With the Stress Two Family Members Hospitalized with COVID-19

Cassondra Hartsfield, a Health Insurance Specialist based in Northeast Ohio, struggled when her mother and boyfriend were hospitalized in the Intensive Care Unit at St. Elizabeth Hospital as a result of COVID-19. “They went into the hospital within a week of each other,” she says, adding that not having the ability to see them in person contributed to her anxiety. “All the stress (of running the family and keeping things together) fell on my shoulders,” she says. She also worries about her son, a NCAA Student Athlete away at college in Pittsburgh in Pennsylvania, who has a compromised immune system and is unable to come home and help alleviate some of his mother’s difficulties because of quarantine. “Not being able to be with my mom was hard; it was hard to simply rely on the nurses’ words,” Hartsfield said, adding that at one point, she was sure that she would lose her mother, who suffers from diabetes and high blood pressure. Despite her mother’s release from the hospital, Hartsfield says that she still continues to battle COVID-19 related issues, including sugar levels that are out of control, as well as high blood pressure.

Music and Prayer

Hartsfield turned to music to help her stress levels. “I put on whatever soothing music I was able to find online, and I prayed many times a day,” she says. She also researched online breathing techniques and other alternative medications for her mom and her boyfriend. In the end, she believes her optimism and continued prayers from family members helped her mother and boyfriend turn the corner for the better. “Emotionally, I make certain that I’m eating healthy, well-balanced meals, connecting with my family, and staying informed by fact-checking sources to find reliable information. Mentally, I remain optimistic,” she says.

Lola Méndez is an Uruguayan-American freelance journalist writing about sustainability, travel, culture, wellness, lifestyle, and more. She’s a full-time globetrotter who travels to develop her own worldview and has explored over 60 countries. Passionate about sustainable travel, she seeks out ethical experiences that benefit local communities.