Audit Your Life

Carl Thomen, resident of Prince Albert, shares some valuable life lessons on his favourite subject – yoga and the art of relaxation. Follow his steps to reviewing life and designing a more fulfilling, honest way of living life well.

When we interact with the natural elements of nature we receive balancing and rejuvenating energy"

I haven't always been healthy. Previously, I over-trained to get rid of stress, I drank too much, and had no time for people. I also forced myself towards definitions of success that, while accepted by society, seem to do a lot of damage to many. The fact is, you can look good and make money while at the same time, in an holistic sense, be on the brink of survival. The ugly truth is we’re not in a good place collectively, although we convince ourselves we are because, well, we have so many things, and we’re doing so much stuff. But try sit still for ten minutes with your eyes closed. You probably can’t, right? The movies in front of your eyes and the cacophony of voices in your head call your attention to everything except being okay with this very moment, here and now.

Man, do we need to relax.

But how? Why isn’t there a pill for whatever is causing us to be so manic all the time? That’s the real problem. There’s no magic bullet for stress and discontentment. Relaxation, like anything, requires practice. There are things you can do to be a better, more relaxed human, but oftentimes the ego and conditioned behaviour get in the way. That’s natural and it’s okay. Stick to it, and you’ll emerge feeling a lot better.

Give Yourself Permission

First, pull back and look at yourself. Chances are, amongst the busyness, you’ve lost your centre - that feeling that everything is actually okay and working the way it must. Before you can find it, acknowledge that your quest is worthy. Give yourself permission to relax, to take time to explore your body and mind. Otherwise, all you’ll be telling yourself is that you could be putting in a load of washing or watching Game of Thrones.

Breathe, Stretch, Sit

Or, in yogic terms: Pranayama, Asana, Meditation. Pranayama is controlled breath. Stress forces our sympathetic nervous system (the ‘fight or flight’ response) to kick in, and our bodies spend their days reacting as if we are running away from a sabretoothed tiger. Long-term stress responses suppress our sexual, digestive and immune systems, and leave us exhausted.

Breathe

Controlled breathing stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system, oxygenates the body, and calms the mind. Kapalbhati breaths (short, sharp exhalations through the nose) clear out the lungs and the nasal passages and increase oxygen uptake. Do three rounds of thirty breaths each. Follow this with three rounds of Anulom vilom (alternate nostril breathing). Slowly breathe in through the right nostril, and out through the left. Then in through the left, and out through the right. Do three sets of ten, breathing deeply into the abdomen, not the chest.

Stretch

Asanas are yoga postures and excellent for balancing and strengthening the body. Our bodies carry so much stress (especially in our shoulders and hips), that stretching and toning helps both our flexibility and our mental state, leaving us calmer and more balanced. You don’t need to be flexible or strong, simply decide to get on the mat, whether in front of a YouTube video or in a structured class.

Sit

Meditation is available to anyone. You don’t have to sit, you can also meditate while making tea, walking or swimming. It simply means being absorbed and aware of the moment you are in and not following the mind as it trundles off on a tangent. Focus your attention on the breath, it will links you to the present moment. When your mind wanders (and it will), be aware it’s wandering, and gently remind yourself you are thinking. Then, return to just focusing on your breath, or your step, or your stroke. Eventually, your mind will quieten. Eventually.

Commune with Nature

Nature is a constant reminder that the stress and self-importance we live in mean nothing in the greater processes that shape existence. Finishing a presentation in time has no relevance to the currents of the sea or the waxing moon. When you really pay attention to nature, you realise you are just one example of life, not the example. This is the beginning of awareness.

Eat for Balance

Fad diets aim at fast weight loss and so by definition cannot promote balance. The goal should be feeling good in your skin (not just looking thinner). Food has become the repository for so much of our neuroses: we have to cook like a master chef, feed our children the latest expert recommendations, avoid GM, promote organic, eat less meat and more raw. What should be a symbol of community, of life and love and shared experience, has become a tricky ordeal. Use common sense, and truly listen to your body (not the neurotic voice in your head that yells out ‘coffee and chocolate’ all the time). Your body knows what it needs.

Improve Your Posture

Proper posture improves blood-flow, and boosts confidence. It relieves tense muscles and prevents back pain. When working at a desk, sit straight, and have stretching and walking breaks. When walking, walk tall, and let the shoulders relax. Lift your chin. It is worth remembering that your body will take on that form which you (consciously or not) spend most of your time in, so it is better not to twist yourself into injurious shapes.

Know Your Thoughts

What you think becomes you. If your default reactions are fear-based you won’t experience the highest joys life can offer. For life is just the path of the pendulum as it swings from pain to pleasure and back again; those polarities are simply different sides of life’s coin. You can train yourself to think positively, to react with kindness and an open heart. You can ask the universe for the life you want, and when you let go of the fear and attachment of how it comes to pass you will surely be happier. The Latin phrase temet nosce is oft repeated, but to truly know yourself is difficult, yet a prerequisite to being a better human.

Treat Yourself Well

You are already everything you need to be, you just have to remember it. Rather than spoiling yourself with expensive distractions, learn to be kind to yourself. Drop self-admonishment and smile in acceptance of yourself. This is our biggest challenge, as we tend to believe negative framing around us. You are enough. Believe it.

Be Compassionate

First to yourself, and then to others. We continually pass each other as we rush from one thing to the next, seeking connection but struggling to find it. We are all deeply flawed, and yet also startlingly unique and wonderful beings. Recognising that we are just like everyone (and everything) else, and there really is no ‘other’, is the starting point in personal evolution. We can’t get there without being compassionate, without allowing others to feel safe in experiencing their joys and fears, their highs and their lows. Truly listening and witnessing another person, is the most powerful experience we can share with another human being. Learn to listen, to be compassionate. By changing another life you will change your own.

Carl Thomen offers yoga retreats in Prince Albert filled with soul-feeding activities and not limited to yoga, breathing, hiking, stargazing, healthy food and great wine. Email him on carl@rajararetreats.com