The Sycamore by The Sycamore

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May 2009

social and environmental focus magazine

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Sycamore the

wells’

May 2009

social and environmental focus magazine

Constants EDITOR’S LETTER STAFF HEALTH The SICKamore A Spring in Your Step Getting to Know You FILM Film Reviews Dishonorable Mentions TV Recommendations MUSIC Music for You The Latest Music on Campus CREATIVE WRITING Becoming Kayleen The Life of Henry Haskell STYLE Express, Don’t Impress Model Students ADVICE Dear Minerva

Features P. 3 P. 4 P. 5 P. 6 P. 7 P. 8-9 P. 10 P. 10 P. 11 P. 12-13 P. 14 P. 27-29 P. 30-34 P. 35 P. 36-37 P. 38-39

Balinese Spirit Though it looks bad on the outside, these amazing children will inspire you. Desiree Vea, ’09, describes her experience in Bali. P. 15 Personal IDENTITY Professor Laura Purdy and Kyra Schugt, ’09, on defining their identities P. 18 AN IDENTITY CREATION Ana Giovinazzo on expression via the pen P. 20 Wells’ Identity Kate McNamara presents our school through the eyes of fellow students, alums, and staff with photos from the Wells College Digital Archives P. 23

On the Cover Thanks to everyone who volunteered to have their pictures taken for this issue! If you have a photo that you think would look great on our magazine cover, e-mail it to SycamoreGraphics @gmail.com, and your work could be featured on the front of the next issue! 2

On the BACK Congratulations to Kate Dingley, winner of this semester’s Sycamore Photo Contest! Kate is a sophomore and a visual arts major. The Sycamore May 2009

editor’s letter

The Sycamore’s Editor in Chief, Alex Schloop, discusses the Spring 2009 issue

t the beginning of this semester, our Editorial Board—which has become more like a family than anything else—sat down to choose a theme for the Spring 2009 issue. We asked ourselves what was going on in the world and on campus, and what could be a fruitful topic for analysis, research, and elaboration. The winning theme was Identity, brought up by our Music Editor, Chelsea Eriksen, and we quickly began to brainstorm about how identity affects our world and our lives. We found many possible topics to write on, including the ever-changing identity of Wells and how to become comfortable with and develop personal identity. We also chose to explore the expression of identity through several media, including music, writing, and style. You will find these pieces in the pages that follow. I hope you find this issue of The Sycamore informative, interesting, and entertaining. This issue is a testament to hard work and dedication; the amount of time that went into making these pages seems immeasurable. I am deeply grateful for the dedicated efforts of the entire Sycamore staff and the passionate support that many students, professors, staff, community members, and administrators have provided. Any misunderstandings or ambiguities from last semester have seemed to fade, and I finally feel that the Wells community is accepting

The Sycamore May 2009

this magazine with open arms. However, I would like to clarify one point. Magazines are, by nature, editorialized, which means our content is driven to argue a point. It is neither our mission nor nature to provide an unbiased news source; our sister publication, The Onyx, does a fine job of that. In this issue, for example, we are not attempting to collect and present data on identity. Rather, we make an effort to argue conclusions that we have drawn and aim for them to be a springboard for discussion and thought. While newspapers might answer “who,” “what,” and “when,” magazines offer suggestions for “how” and “why.” If you have yet to contribute to The Sycamore, I highly encourage you to do so. We attempt to involve the whole student body as much as possible by holding contests, accepting articles, conducting interviews, initiating discussions, and providing outlets for creativity and expression. We will continue our short story and photography contests next semester and will be adding a poetry contest called the “Quill Contest.” Be on the lookout for our annual print sale next semester, too. Our little sapling of a magazine is maturing and developing, and I look forward to seeing immense growth in the future. As I think about next semester, I see endless possibilities. Thank you for helping this dream come true, and, as always, happy reading! Alex Schloop, ’12 Editor in Chief 3

Sycamore the

wells’

May 2009

social and environmental focus magazine Editor in Chief Alex Schloop, ’12 Layout Designer

Copy Editor Creative Writing Editor Layout Assistant Graphics/Layout Editor Music Editor Health Editor Style Editor

Ana Giovinazzo, ’11

Film Critic Staff Writers

Josh Wilmott, ’11 Kate McNamara, ’11 Emily Ambrose, ’11

Contributing Writers (18-19) Creative Writing Contest Winners

Cover Art Cover Design Photography (4, 38) Featured Photographer (15-17) Photo Contest Winner (Back) Photography Resources (3, 6, 10, 11, 13, 30, 32, 33, 35) (5) (8) (9) (18) (23-26) Interviewers (23-26)

Publisher Advisor Secretary Treasurer

Molly Cichy, ’10 (abroad) Chelsea Eriksen, ’11 Courtney Kasche, ’11 Elsa Dial, ’11

Laura Purdy, Philosophy Professor Kyra Schugt, ’09 Kayleen Wilkinson, ’10 Caroline Lamarque, ’11 Alex Schloop, ’12 Molly Cichy, ’10 Desiree Vea, ’09 Kate Dingley, ’11 Sxc.hu Benettontalk.com Soundtrackcollector.com Wordpress.com Media.photobucket.com Nineinchnails.net Wells.edu Wells College Digital Archives Emily Ambrose, ’11 Courtney Kasche, ’11 Stephanie Marvin, ’12 Alex Schloop, ’12 Jacobs Press, Auburn, NY Daniel Renfrow, Sociology Professor Loey Rotchford, ’11 Stephanie Marvin, ’12

The Sycamore May 2009

• HealtH

the sickamore Courtney Kasche Health Editor

e love to share here at Wells—however, sometimes we share just a bit too much. Unfortunately, what I’m talking about lasts for days, affecting a majority of the Wells population. You guessed it: the Wells Plague. Nobody has time for the Wells Plague, yet it seems everybody gets it. The following suggestions may help you avoid being the victim the next time around. Hand-washing is the easiest way to keep your health in tip-top shape. Frequent hand-washing throughout the day, after bathroom trips, or after touching germinfested doorknobs can prevent those pesky germs from infecting your body. As tempting as it is to share a soda in the Commons or just taste a sip of a friend’s great new drink, think twice. Sharing drinks spreads germs, and is an easy way to pass on things like mono. With such busy schedules, nobody has time to fight off mono. If you are very ill, stay in bed and rest. By going to class, you are spreading germs to other students and even your professors. Trust me, this won’t buy you an A on that next exam. E-mail your professors and clue them in to what is going on. If you are extremely worried about missing class, talk to the Medical Center about getting an excuse note for class. Make sure to make an appointment at the Campus Medical Center. By prolonging this step, you will feel worse for longer. The medical staff can let you know what things you can do to starting feeling well again. In some cases, they may just be able to suggest rest. Be sure to follow all instructions given by the physician or nurse in order to get back to your normal routine as soon as possible. Make sure you are drinking fluids throughout the day. Chances are, if you’re trying to fight off the bug, you are probably not as hungry as you usually are, but it is essential to maintain hydration. It is a smart idea to wear flip flops in the shower. The Wells College bathrooms are cleaned every weekday, but even so, without shower shoes, it is easy to contract bacteria and fungi that may cause athlete’s foot or other issues. Don’t touch! Avoid touching your face unless your The Sycamore May 2009

A handy guide to surviving the Wells Plague

hands are definitely clean. Your eyes, nose, and mouth are easy access points for germs. Try taking Tylenol, Advil, or other over-the-counter remedies to help manage the symptoms of your illness. These drugs will not cure your illness, but they can help you to feel slightly better while resting. Listen to your body. Take a nap if you feel you must. It is a good idea to nap for 60-90 minutes. Sleeping more than that could potentially make you feel more exhausted. By overworking yourself and feeling stressed, you are more likely to lower your immune system and become ill. If you can try to follow these guidelines, you should be sicknomore. • 5

Health •

A Spring in Your Step

A message from the Aurora Community Medical Center

pring is here! Believing in spring during dark, cold, rainy days is often difficult in Central New York. People’s moods are often swayed by the weather. For example, you might feel low on dreary days. What’s important is to keep things in perspective. We know in our hearts it is spring, and sometimes we have to make spring happen from the inside, out. First, we must make sure our bodies are healthy. Adults in their late teens and twenties require about eight hours of sleep. Some require more than eight hours, others less, but don’t try to deprive yourself of sleep if your body is telling you it needs more. Sure, you have tons of homework and studying to do, but you must be aware of what your body needs. Symptoms of fatigue from lack of sleep are increased irritability, loss of patience, difficulty focusing (for example, having to reread the same paragraph over and over to understand it), and lack of interest in things you used to be interested in. Stress is always worse when you are tired. Second, we need to feed ourselves well. The dietary requirements include five fruits and vegetables daily, so look for some spring colors in your diet. Include some green (veggies), and some red and yellow (fruits) on your plate every day. Fresh is always best. Hydration is important too. You need 6-8 glasses of water daily. Females need to increase their calcium intake, so choose milk and calcium-fortified juices. Be careful of hidden calories in juices, though, and limit them to one glass

daily. Milk should be skim, as it has fewer calories and more calcium per serving than higher-fat milk and milk products. Eat foods you enjoy, but don’t make food too important to your happiness. Moderation is the key. The next important thing to inner well-being is exercise. You should not miss out on an opportunity to exercise. It isn’t really a dirty word, though many people seem to think it is. Exercise is actually training for a lifetime of feeling good. Have you ever taken a walk when you were stressed instead of having a chaotic meltdown with five of your closest friends? It is amazing how easy it is to think when you are walking or swimming. These activities help you to clear your mind and sleep better, too. Be creative with exercise. Go to the gym, go for a walk, play some active sports or games with friends, do some yoga—but just do it! It will put a spring in your step. Challenge yourself to exercise 15-30 minutes daily. You can do that through three episodes of 10 minutes each, two 15-minute walks, etc. Exercise must increase your heart rate to be beneficial to your cardiovascular system. Besides helping to lose weight and tone muscles, exercise will reduce your chances of developing diabetes, high blood pressure, and strokes, too. Start your own personal spring internally. Experiment with healthy changes and see which fit you the best. Get out of winter mode and ready for better weather. It’s spring! • The Sycamore May 2009

• Health Getting to Know

You

Courtney Kasche

Health Editor

How to have a healthier attitude about your identity

ollege is a fantastic opportunity to become the person that you have never been before. This is especially true for students that attend colleges away from home. Yet more than a handful of students often say that they do not know who they are. This is strange, because after all, we have had 18 or more years to get to know ourselves. One of the easiest ways to learn more about you is to develop your self-esteem and self-confidence. Find ways to try new things and spend time with people that are different from you. There are programs currently working to develop the self-esteem of young girls and women. The Dove Self Esteem Project was developed in 2005 to help avoid beauty stereotypes that young girls face. The project includes television commercials, online interactive games, and messages being sent, reminding these girls that they have the potential to be happy by just being themselves. It also includes ways for parents to get involved and help the movement. This is just one example of many that are working to promote healthier attitudes, which could help to lead healthier lifestyles.1 There are many other things you can do to get to know yourself. Take a dance class, a karate class, or start running outdoors. Some people find physical activity a great release while doing something they enjoy. Others enjoy reading books, especially books they can relate to. An inexpensive weekend getaway may help clear your mind. Whatever it is, it is important to find ways in which you can express yourself in a healthy manner. You will feel more relaxed, and in most cases, you may meet some new friends along the way. • 1

Information in this paragraph is from Dove.com.

The Sycamore May 2009

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Film • Boogie Nights Paul Thomas Anderson’s second film, Boogie Nights, is—dare I say it—a masterpiece. Anderson takes us back to a time when pornos were shot on film and played in theaters, when a pornographer was called an actor and could become a star. This no-holds-barred film shows us exactly what the porn industry was/is about: business, not sex. However, one must dig further than the surface to see the film’s true meaning. It is less about porn, and more about success and untraditional family structures. Much like Robert Altman’s Shortcuts and Gosford Park, Anderson uses an ensemble cast to show an array of different characters, all caught up in the same struggle for success. Mark Wahlberg, Burt Reynolds, Julianne Moore, John C. Reilly, Philip Seymour Hoffman, William H. Macy, Don Cheadle, Luis Guzmán, Philip Baker Hall, and Heather Graham are the big players in Boogie Nights, and all give top-notch performances. Even with its 152-minute runtime, Boogie Nights is alive in a way that few films are. Every frame is precious and crucial to the film’s meaning. It’s clear that Anderson has a firm understanding of not only film history (utilizing ideas from such films as I Am Cuba, The Player, and Battleship Potemkin) but also how to balance the old ideas with the new and make it work. A must-see for any true movie lover.

FILM

Stroszek Werner Herzog once said that he was not concerned with creating images that have been already created, but rather with creating new images, ones no one had ever seen, and this is apparent in Stroszek. Stroszek is a very difficult film to describe. I believe Roger Ebert said it best: “Who else but Werner Herzog would make a film about a retarded ex-prisoner, a little old man and a prostitute, who leave Germany to begin a new life in a house trailer in Wisconsin? Who else would shoot the film in the hometown of Ed Gein, the murderer who inspired ‘Psycho?’ Who else would cast all the local roles with locals? Who else would end the movie with a policeman radioing, ‘We’ve got a truck on fire, can’t find the switch to turn the ski lift off, and can’t stop the dancing chicken. Send an electrician.’”1 This film is not a popcorn flick, and it’s not a film you disregard at a party, it is a film you watch! Herzog, the man who ate his own shoe, who threatened to shoot one of his actors eight times and save the last bullet for himself, and who shot an entire film with a cast of midgets, tackles America in Stroszek. We follow these characters as they move to America in hopes of prosperity, only to find failure due to misinformation, credit card debt, discrimination, and language barriers. A truly brilliant and poetic look at the myth of the American Dream with brilliant cinematography and acting. 1 http://www.ebertfest.com This is a film to be seen, then discussed, in that order. 8

The Sycamore May 2009

• Film

REVIEWS

Buffalo ’66

Vincent Gallo is not only the star of Buffalo ’66, but also the writer, director, and composer of all the original music in the film. Unfortunately, Gallo could not carry the same genius from this film over to his next film, The Brown Bunny. This semi-autobiographical film chronicles the life of Billy Brown, a sketchy, neurotic man who places a bad bet on his hometown football team, the Buffalo Bills. When it comes time to pay, Billy doesn’t have the money. In order to repay his debt, he is forced to take the heat for someone. While in prison, Billy learns that the Bills’ kicker had thrown the winning kick. Upon his release from prison (where the film begins), Billy decides that he will find the man responsible for his jail time, and kill him. However, his plans change when he meets Layla (Christina Ricci)—or rather, kidnaps her and forces her to pretend to be his wife, all to impress his parents. What follows is a comical and sad story about a man with no love in his life, and no idea how to deal with it when it finds him. While the film’s pace and unconventional approach to situations might throw some people off (such as Christina Ricci tap dancing under a spotlight in a bowling alley, or an elderly man lip-syncing to old records), others will take great joy in this film’s quirky style.

Julien Donkey-Boy Harmony Korine first appeared on the scene at age 18 for his controversial screenplay, Kids. After Kids, Korine went on to direct Gummo, Julien Donkey-Boy, and most recently, Mister Lonely. While all of Korien’s work is daring and inspiring, there still remains something very special about Julien Donkey-Boy. Julien Donkey-Boy follows the story of a schizophrenic boy named Julien and his family. This is not a documentary, but Korine does use many techniques commonly associated with documentary filmmaking, such as filming unsuspecting people while the actors play their roles. As we move through the film with Julien and his unusual family (including a brother who is training to be a wrestler by fighting garbage cans and dragging himself upstairs on his hands only to stand up and run back down to do it again), we begin to see the hardships that fall upon not only Julien, but his entire family, all of whom are dealing with their own lives in addition to the burden of Julien’s. This film is not just a character study, but also a look at the more human characteristics of someone who is normally cast aside. The film is part of the Dogme 95 movement (an avant-garde film movement designed to challenge the way filmmakers think of filmmaking), which is a large reason why Julien Donkey-Boy looks the way it does. The film stars Ewen Bremner, Chloë Sevigny, and Werner Herzog. It is a challenging film in more than one way, and many viewers who are not used to avant-garde films might find it impossible. However, those who stick it out to the end will understand its importance. •

Josh Wilmott Film Critic

The Sycamore May 2009

Film •

Dishonorable Mentions These are films that don’t deserve a full review. These were not my cup of tea, but maybe you will like them. I sure didn’t.

Sid and Nancy – The fictional retelling of Sid Vicious and Nancy Spungen’s relationship. The film is historically incorrect, and this makes it almost unwatchable for anyone who knows the true story. Bullitt – A cutting-edge cop film, or at least that’s what they want you to think. Some films stand the test of time. This one does not. Death Wish – After the first vigilante act, you can pretty much guess exactly what happens. It’s amazing they made 5 of these films. The Brown Bunny – Watch Vincent Gallo drive down the road, cry, get gas—not only once, but twice—and then get a blowjob. The end. Does that sound fun? Then rent it. Otherwise, don’t. Gerry – If you like really long takes of people walking across wide-open landscapes and not talking—and for no real reason—then you might like this. •

TV Recommendations Trailer Park Boys A Canadian mockumentary about Ricky, Julian, and Bubbles, three trailer park idiots whose pastimes include smoking dope, getting drunk, and going to jail, all while trying to make an “honest” living. This lowbrow comedy is not for everyone, and the description undermines its genius. Just watch it, and then judge it. Kenny vs. Spenny The Canadians strike again, this time with a “reality” competition show starring two “best friends” who compete against each other. “Why? Glory for the winner, humiliation for the loser.” Some of the competitions include who can gain the most weight, who can dance the longest, who can keep a dump in their pants the longest, and who can handle more torture. This hysterical, sometimes disgusting show is made even more interesting by one of the stars, Kenny Hotz, who finds a clever way to cheat in just about every episode. •

Josh Wilmott Film Critic

The Sycamore May 2009

• Music

Music For Chelsea Eriksen

If you like Sleep, Blend Crafters, or Black Star, listen to Danger Mouse and Jemini. Their only album is also their first collaboration. The album combines old school and modern hip hop. Danger Mouse pools from various genres to create the beat, while Jemini’s lyrics flow flawlessly. You can find their album, Ghetto Pop Life, on iTunes.

The Sycamore May 2009

If you like Orson, Mika, or Pilot Speed, listen to The Feeling. This fivepiece band has a snappy and electrified pop sound. Off of their debut album, Twelve Stops and Home, the song “Helicopter” shows the band’s ability to harmoniously blend their voices in a way that is reminiscent of Queen. You can find out more at www.thefeeling.co.uk.

P If you like Elastica, The Raveonettes, The White Stripes, or The Raconteurs, listen to The Kills. They have a grungy-meetselectronic sound. Some of their influences include: Suicide, Cabaret Voltaire, and Royal Trux. You can check them out at www. thekills.tv.

You

Music Editor

If you like Arcade Fire, Cursive, Modest Mouse, or Interpol, listen to Murder by Death. Their sound has been described as gothic country. On their latest album, Red of Tooth and Claw, Adam Turla’s soulful howl sounds a lot like Johnny Cash, and yet the dark and energetic music helps to create a wild collaboration of genres. You can check them out at www.murderbydeath.com. • 11

Music •

THE LATEST New artists worth noticing

Chelsea Eriksen Music Editor

Grand Ole Party Grand Ole Party consists of three musicians: Kristin Gundred as the drummer and lead singer, John Paul Labno on guitar, and Michael Krechnyak on bass. Their debut album, Humanimals, was released in 2007. Gundred’s deep and expressive wail both excites and hypnotizes. Listening to Humanimals, you can immediately hear the band’s stimulating combination of funk rock and blues. Grand Ole Party are now recording, and surely will not disappoint with their next album. You can find out more at www.myspace.com/grandoleparty.

The Urges The Urges are a five-member band that started out in Dublin, Ireland in 2003. They released their debut album, LP Psych Ward in 2007, then re-released it in 2008. Their music is reminiscent of ’60s garage rock. The eerie sounds from the organ create a spooky and dark sound, while Jim Walter’s crooning voice accents the gritty music perfectly. Listening to LP Psych Ward, you feel like you have been transported into some catchy, drughazed, haunted paradise. You can check them out at http://www.myspace.com/theurges.

1 and Doubt” is the outstanding song. The acoustic guitar mixed with the string instruments transform this pop love song into something else completely. You can look them up at http://www.myspace.com/slowrunner.

SINISTER TRAILER PARK MAGIC

Sinister Trailerpark Magic consists of four members who got together in 2006 after deciding that they were sick of modern music. So, each of the members left their previous bands, and in 2007, they released their SLOW RUNNER debut album, Sinister Trailerpark Magic. Their music changes from chaotic to serene, cacophonous to catchy, Slow Runner released their debut album, No Disas- violent to peaceful. Each song is a surprise. The whole semble, in 2006 and have since released two more. Their album leaves you wanting more. They have managed to most recent album, Mermaids, showcases the band’s blend genres seamlessly. To find out more about Sinisversatility. Mermaids is mostly comprised of love songs. ter Trailerpark Magic, go to http://www.myspace.com/ This concept may not sound interesting at first, but the sinistertrailerparkmagic or http://www.sinistertraileruse of strings, synths, and mandolins blending with Mi- parkmagic.com. chael Flynn’s intense lyrics and sweet voice create their 1 http://betterpropaganda.com magically ethereal sound. Off of Mermaids, “Love 12

The Sycamore May 2009

• Music An Interview with Jeremy Cavan of Sinister Trailerpark Magic

Do you think of your music as a way to express yourself? Absolutely. It’s the only way I express myself, other than yelling at people. I think a lot of people that are sick in the head use music as a way to express themselves and stay sane. What do you think your band’s identity is? We consider ourselves to be a “rock ‘n’ ruin” band. We kinda came up with it; it means structureless, non-repeating music. Our identity is just to be as different as we possibly can, and to disturb your lobes. If you really wanna push yourself playing-wise, you wanna keep your listeners pushing themselves to get it. It’s give and take, you know? What inspires your music? Well, originally, we got into music because my dad bought me a guitar and my brother a set of drums. As I got older, I got angrier, and started writing in high school. Then I met women and wrote some heartthrob music, and then I got angry again. My brother’s stuff is very different. He’s more emotional in his lyrics, and I tend to be more cryptic. When creating music, do you seek to appeal to an audience, or do you play primarily for yourself? It depends. There have been quite a few times where we have been asked to do something. Just a few months ago, we were asked to do a cover song, and we made it a lot longer and changed it. So, in that case, we were considering our fans, but for the most part when I write a song, I start at a point or a melody line and I do stream of consciousness and I write as fast as I can for six minutes, and then I go back and rewrite. Then I write lyrics and go over them with my brother (the drummer). Later, I go over everything with the rest of the band and we all decide on the final stage. •

Chelsea Eriksen

Music Editor

The Sycamore May 2009

Music •

Music On Campus 1

Chelsea Eriksen Music Editor

3 4 5

Sam Share, ’12 & Van Bucsko, ’11 (1)

Where you’ve seen her on campus: Whriligigs What influences your music? Early Music Ensemble SS: There are bands that I look to for inspiration for dif- Talent Show Fall 2008 ferent ways to make noise. Sound-wise, the first people Performed at Weinachten with the Whriligigs and perto do the extreme feedback stuff were The Jesus and formed solo on guitar singing “Santa Claus is Coming Mary Chain and My Bloody Valentine. Also, Light- to Town.” ning Bolt, Black Dice, and The Liars. Concert Choir for Fall 2008 Where you’ve seen them on campus: Van has participated in last year’s talent show and the David Foote, ’10 & Mac Greschak, ’12 (4) Spring Weekend boathouse show. What do you think your music’s identity is? Sander Moolin, ’11 & Jason Calhoun (2) DF: I try to be a little bit uplifting, a little bit pensive, and make people appreciate the world around them a Band Name: Do Kashiteru little bit more. What do you think your music’s identity is? Where you’ve seen them on campus: SM: We want it to be music that can both entertain Open Mic Night(s) and positively influence people, either by the lyrics or the music itself. We want people to enjoy it, to be enter- Janis Esch, ’10 (5) tained, to be able to draw things out of it each time. Where you’ve seen them on campus: With band members: Marshall Anderson, ’09, Dan Open Mic Night Speciale, ’10, and Sander Moolin, ’11 Fashion/Talent Show 2008 Emily Mulkerne, ’12 (3)

Do you think of your music as a way to express yourself?

JE: Yes, but I don’t think that’s necessarily my ultimate objective; it’s kind of a side perk. Really, my main goal is to reach out to people and not just make music that Who are your influences? EM: A lot of where I get my inspiration from is Alanis means something to me, but means something to other Morissette and Regina Spektor—Alanis for her lyrics people. and Regina for pretty much everything. Glen Hansard Where you’ve seen her on campus: & Markéta Irglová are big inspirations for a duo project Performs with band Visions of Cody at the Fargo. I am working on with a friend of mine back home. They Open Mic Night(s) wrote the Oscar-winning song “Falling Slowly” from Show at the Sommer Center • the movie Once. All of their music is incredible. 14

The Sycamore May 2009

â&#x20AC;˘ Features

Balinese Spirit

Desiree Vea

Contributing Artist/Writer

There is an orphanage in Gianyar, Bali that is home to about 180 children. Many of the children have parents, but the parents cannot afford to support them. They sleep about twenty to a room, each room holding children ages five through seventeen.

The Sycamoreâ&#x20AC;&#x201A; May 2009

The orphanage only has three staff members, so the children take care of each other. Although at first glance the situation looks bad, stop and reflect--listen and learn.

Yes, the ground is polluted and no one has space, and yes, they only eat rice and cabbage. Yet their happiness is never-ending.

The Sycamoreâ&#x20AC;&#x201A; May 2009

These children see the mistakes of their forefathers, and in seeing, have begun the process that will create change.

They love being at the orphanage and enjoy the little they have. Although children are raising children, they are wiser than we can even imagine and have a passion for understanding what they do not yet know. â&#x20AC;˘

The Sycamoreâ&#x20AC;&#x201A; May 2009

Features • The colorful quotes on these two pages are anonymous responses by Wells students to the question, “How do you express your identity?”

“I draw.”

PERSONAL Expressing and becoming comfortable

It seems to be the season for introspection—just recently I wrote another response to a somewhat different question (why don’t I believe in God). For me, becoming comfortable in my own skin has been a bumpy ride, a continually evolving process, with periods of serious discontent alternating with periods of relative satisfaction. Why can’t I be more disciplined, more productive, more like the famous Ms. or Mr. X, Y, or Z out there? Why aren’t I doing more to make the world a more just, better place? Well, given where I started out, the hand I was dealt, the mistakes I’ve made along the way, and the challenges that have faced me, I’m doing pretty well! You might think that by the time one has reached what we might politely call the second half of life, all this stuff would be settled. Ha! You students might be thinking that you’ll be your final self when you graduate—just as I naively thought I would “know it all” when I got my PhD (double ha). Biggest challenges? Many. But the two that stand out were recouping after a serious false start in careers, and beating a big cancer. The first involved starting from scratch after first preparing for a career in ballet, and then, at the eleventh hour, rejecting it. What did I get out of the first experience? Mainly, fierce self-discipline. The second? A firsthand taste of what it’s like to be—and recover from being—really sick. And, oddly, some of the qualifications for being a practicing bioethicist magically came along (together with an equally magical leave from Wells) as soon as I was recovered enough to take it on.

Laura Purdy

Professor of Philosophy Contributing Writer

“I create.” 18

The Sycamore May 2009

• Features

IDENTITY with your personal identity

Self-awareness rarely comes in the form of an epiphany. We come to understand ourselves and our purpose through the choices we make, and how we handle them. Yet there are distinct moments when we are fearful, and confronting those fears leads us to discover something powerful within our abilities. My most recent encounter with fear came in the form of one of those infrequent trips home. I believe at this point in my life, my greatest fear is being unable to help my mother and brother. Leaving Minnesota, I understood that in a sense, I was escaping a laid trap of misery, one that was unconsciously set by family. The trap has existed for years due to the heavy regrets, insecurities, and accusations between people who don’t admit they deeply love each other. I believe the correct name for this feeling is déjà vu. Being home, I had to face the situation I flee on every return visit. Sitting in the car, listening to my mother’s laundry list of impossible hurdles, my battlefield emotions of anger and anxiety melted into a calming peace. I looked at her and saw beyond her paralyzing concerns. I understood that I could never change her, only comfort her. And really, that is all she needs. I looked at her with empathetic eyes rather than critical ones. I realized my power is to love unconditionally. My family is far from perfect and may never change. I realized I don’t need a savior, nor should I take the role of one. I merely have to be myself. For my family, that is enough, and for me it is more than plenty. From them, I have learned to understand people for who they are. We need to appreciate their strengths and not dwell on their weaknesses. •

“I sing.”

Kyra Schugt, ’09 Contributing Writer

“I’m me.” The Sycamore May 2009

Features •

An Identity

Using your life as inspiration for writing, and discovering yourself in the process Ana Giovinazzo

Copy & Creative Writing Editor

ast summer, I had my wisdom teeth removed. I’d always hoped to avoid it, but it turned out I wasn’t one of the lucky ones whose mouths welcome new molars. The oral surgeons prescribed Vicodin to dull the ache in my jaw so the following week might be a little more bearable. During the second day of my recovery, though, I found out my body wasn’t used to handling so much medication. I remember standing at the kitchen counter and washing down my pills. There was a very sharp pain in my gum, and then my vision began to get dark. I grabbed the counter for stability, but all of a sudden, I fell unconscious on the floor and heard my family yelling my name. “I’m trying to sleep,” I thought. “Why is everyone bothering me?” When I awoke, I discovered I’d fainted and had hit my head against the dishwasher. My mouth was hurting, my head was pounding, and all I could think was: “This will make a great scene for a story!” No, not the sort of story you tell your friends. This was the kind of detail a writer considers useful for the sake of realism. I’d never fainted before, so how could I have effectively described it? Now, I had the ability to take this experience and manipulate it. I could choose to simplify it or dramatize it. I could make it the final scene in a short story, or maybe the opening anecdote of a magazine article. The point is, I had the option of using writing to express my experience, and the option of using my experience as a tool to improve my writing.

Turning Your Diary into a Journal Even people who say they “don’t write” probably do. How many of us haven’t created a blog or kept a diary at some point in our lives? Diary-keeping is a way of chronicling our lives, exploring our feelings, and venting about our problems. Blogging is the 21st century method of doing the same thing. Diaries and blogs help us express ourselves, but they don’t go beyond the initial spill onto the page. If we go back and reread our entries, we will likely find paragraphs full of unscreened emotion. This is because we experience a mad, eager rush to get everything written before the memories start evaporating. It’s for this reason that when we look back at our diaries, we often find useless, subjective accounts of complicated incidents. Many serious writers will probably admit they keep a diary, but often, they also keep a “writer’s journal.” This is a notebook in which they jot down story ideas, sources of inspiration, or snippets of dialogue. Imagine overhearing a funny conversation at a restaurant or witnessing a strange spectacle in the lobby of a theater. If you’re prepared, you can have your notebook out in moments. After writing down whatever you find useful, you have free reign over the material. A writer’s journal helps eliminate writer’s block. Need inspiration? Just page through your scribblings. It also takes the pressure off of those of us who are daunted by the idea of keeping a regular diary. You don’t need to feel like you have to write a summary of every day; just write about something when it feels important to you. Focus on what matters to you, and the rest will come easily.

The Sycamore May 2009

• Features

C r e a t io n Putting the “Creative” into

Doing Poetry the Right Way

Creative nonfiction is the art of taking those sloppy diary entries you have accumulated over the years and turning them into something worth reading. You can dramatize emotional incidents, revitalize the mundane, and even publicize what was once private. As the author, you can manipulate what you experienced in order to tell a better story. You might wonder how one can be “creative” with truth and still call it nonfiction. Though creative nonfiction is, essentially, about telling the truth, there are ways a writer can dress up a piece. If you’re not the type of person who has chronicled every detail of hir life, you may have trouble remembering exactly how things took place. How old were you? What color was that ugly dress your aunt was wearing? Who bit your cousin Donald--was it your brother, or your dog? These details may have grown fuzzy over time. You could fact-check, or you could simply accept that the story is going to be from your perspective. No matter how well you think you recall the situation, there will be someone who remembers it differently. This is how nonfiction gets to be a creative endeavor. Take advantage of your faulty memories and color the scene with subjectivity and new dialogues. The key isn’t to get every element correct, but to capture the heart of the situation. Even if everything isn’t exactly accurate, there will still be an element of truth in anything you write, since it feels true for you.

Poetry is the form of writing that requires the most careful consideration, but many people have the wrong idea about it. For example, while a clichéd chorus may be repeated four times in a single pop song on the radio, this repetition wouldn’t be viewed as careful construction in a poem. In poetry, every word is important, and the stock phrasing you might get away with in a lyric causes readers to cringe. That said, there is a right way to do poetry, and it doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice your ideas in order to be esoteric. But how do you start? Maybe you want to write about a failed relationship, but the stanzas keep coming out whiny and desperate. The problem might be that you’re using poetry solely as an emotional outlet. Even though poetry is a great way to work through emotions, it is also an art form. Instead of writing lines stating how sad you feel, think about how to convey this in images. If you feel broken, you could try comparing yourself to a tree struck in a lightning storm. If you’re angry, maybe you’re the lightning. Play around with language and use metaphors to dress up what would otherwise be a diary entry with line breaks. Poetry is a challenging endeavor, but it does open doors to an entirely new realm of self-exploration. It takes practice to get the hang of constructing a poem that will be cathartic to you, but also interesting and understandable to everyone else. What you need to remember is to first write for yourself, then turn on that editor and make the art happen.

Creative Nonfiction

The Sycamore May 2009

Features •

“Even if you have secrets

you can’t tell your best friends, you can examine those ideas

through the written word.”

Finding Yourself Through Fiction

You’re not tied to fiction in the way you’re tied to creative nonfiction or autobiographical poetry. Your fiction When you write in a diary, you’re focusing on writing is completely separate from you, so you can be the true events rather than the best way to convey as close or as far from it as you like. So, use your own the story. If you write a creative nonfiction piece, experiences, or don’t use any at all. No one can get mad you might hold back for fear of who will see it. The at you for making things up. length of a poem could be too limiting. If you have any of these problems, then maybe fiction is for you. Fiction isn’t as risky as these other forms, since you never claim it to be true. All you’re required to do is tell a story. You can create characters or fabriWriting allows you to deal with the things you somecate entirely new situations. You can put your opinions into the characters’ heads or have them oppose times can’t admit or express vocally. Even if you have secrets you can’t tell your best friends, you can examyou. This is the advantage to fiction: you can use it to ine those ideas through the written word. So, try letting examine aspects of life and express your thoughts your writing carry that emotional baggage for a while. without people assuming the story is about you. For Whether your mode of expression is through prose, poexample, most popular fantasy writers aren’t actually etry, true stories, or simply a diary, you may discover a witches and wizards who bring about the destruc- few things about yourself in the process. tion of a great evil. Generally speaking, authors of After all--fact or fiction--it is your story. • successful murder mysteries probably aren’t serial killers, themselves. However, these writers may have dealt with some emotional conflict in their lives similar to that which their characters have endured. Or maybe they simply had a story to share.

The Sycamore May 2009

• Features Wells’ Identity

wells’ Identity

Kate McNamara

A Person

Examining our college’s identity in changing times Kate McNamara

Staff Writer

The Sycamore May 2009

Features •

laces can have an identity just as individuals can. The identity of Wells may mean different things to different people, and many are not even sure how the identity of Wells is defined. Admissions pamphlets praise Wells’ small class sizes, beautiful campus, and learning outside of the classroom, but students may experience a different Wells identity. The Sycamore spoke to two students, a staff member, and an alumna to discover the unique views of the identity of Wells. Senior Travis Niles is well known for his work as an RA, his position as an Oddline coach, and his membership in Henry’s VIII. He first visited Wells in 2006 and was “enchanted... The sunset, the old brick buildings, the overall zeitgeist of the place just said home.” His first perception of Wells was that the college was in a time of turmoil and conflicting opinions. He saw that students were still reacting strongly to the coed decision, while the administration struggled to find solutions to bring progress to the school. “It was both hostile and home, a place that needed to find a balance between tradition and modernization.” Today, Travis continues to see Wells as being in a state of change. He states, “There is still much to be done to modernize this place, to allow it to thrive.” However, he feels a strong sense of community within Wells that “extends back through generations of alums. It’s sort of like being in a secret society... a really big secret society.” Sophomore Ayako Otsu arrived at Wells earlier this year. She was attracted to Wells because it “was a small college, had a variety of races, and was very friendly.” Ayako says that her experience at Wells has remained true to her first impressions of the college. “My favorite aspect of Wells’ identity is the small classes,” she explained, adding that, “I don’t like the idea of Wells getting bigger. I think that will change the identity for the worse.” You may have seen alum Annie Ryerson working in the Admissions office. As a Wells student, she worked as a tour guide, and after graduation, she joined the admissions office as an employee. She told The Sycamore that her perception of Wells was different from most students because “there was no real arrival moment for me. My mom is an alumna; therefore, I have always been familiar with Wells, and it has always been a part of my life.” 24

The Sycamore May 2009

• Features Annie believes that she had a different perspective of Wells as a student. “As a student, I was able to obtain friendships and share experiences that will last a lifetime. My love for the school grew stronger as it became a more significant part of my personal narrative.” As an alum, Annie still loves Wells and says that “Wells means more to me than it ever did before.” Annie hopes that “all Wells students are able to forge the same friendships and deep bonds with their peers that I did.” Su Woods is an alumna who graduated in 1984. She originally looked at Wells because her sister was interested in the school, and then she decided to attend, too. “I just knew I’d be happy at Wells.” Her first impression of Wells was awe at the beauty of the campus. “Aurora in late August? Come on... my first impression involved a terrific inhalation of beauty.” Su accepts that the college needs to change in some ways, noting that “a stagnant college cannot truly educate its students.” At the same time, she believes that Wells has held onto many of the principles that it embodied when she attended. “[It is] still beautiful, still committed to education, still fostering growth and leadership, still genuinely interested in all of its communities.” At one point, her son attended Wells, and she enjoys the shared sense of identity they have invested in Wells. She says that they share “a lexicon which is labeled ‘Wells.’” The Sycamore asked each interviewee about the changing symbols at Wells and how they may affect Wells’ identity. Travis’s answer was a firm, “no, absolutely not.” He asserts that “never mind the logo. You, the student, should be a symbol of Wells.” Su agrees, pointing out the importance of marketing in the decision to change the logo. “A college needs to figure out how best to appeal not just to prospective students, but also to their parents—two radically disparate marketing groups!” Annie recognized that “there are certain aspects of Wells that are different today compared to when I was a student, and it is possible that the changing symbols reflect that.” She also adds that, while the symbols may be a part of the changes at Wells, the fundamental identity of the college will probably remain the same. Ayako shared a similar perspective, stating, “I think the changes in symbols are not significant in regards to Wells’

The Sycamore May 2009

Features • actual identity, [but] I feel that the old symbols really helped with unity. I am not sure the new ones will.” One common factor emerged in each interview: traditions! Everyone agreed that traditions are a big part of the Wells identity. The two current students, Travis and Ayako, both said that the Oddline/Evenline festivities are their favorite Wells tradition. Travis described the zany tradition perfectly: “Where else can one sing loud and obnoxious songs, be rowdy whilst clad in strange garb, and have it be considered normal?” Su fondly remembers the ringing of the bells at mealtimes and other occasions. Annie loved the traditions on the last day of classes, saying, “For me it was always the best day of the year!” Ayako presented another sentiment that is easily shared among the student body: “I really, really want the food to change.” Regardless of what identity means to each individual, it looks like there are some aspects of Wells’ identity that all members of the Wells community can appreciate and share. •

The Sycamore May 2009

• Creative Writing

Becoming Kayleen K a y l e e n W i l ki n s o n

ometimes when a child is born with a giant nose or gargantuan feet, the hopeful parents say, “Don’t worry, you just need to grow into them.” What I had to grow into was myself. I hardly inhabited my body, and had little control over my life. I was the one the kids would call the suckup or goody-two-shoes. I painstakingly followed the rules—I was terrified not to. It was like I was under a spell. Someone could have told me go run into the wall ten times in a row, and I would have done it. It’s fine to be this way when you are a kid, but it’s no way to live an entire life. I was born on September 11, 1988, to Jacqueline Marie Wilkinson and Timothy James Wilkinson. It was Grandparents Day, so my parents got my first name from my mother’s mother, Kayleen Dunsmoor, and my middle name from my father’s mother, Hannah Wilkinson, to get me: Kayleen Hannah Wilkinson. While my mom lay in the hospital bed with me in her arms, my dad was out “celebrating” with his friends, an affair that lasted three days straight. Very little in my life stays the same for long. The man that was my father that day is not my father anymore. Today my father is James Darrell Scanlon, and my mother goes by Jackie Scanlon. But I am still Kayleen Wilkinson. 4

The Sycamore May 2009

I don’t think Timothy Wilkinson knew how to love. Every other weekend, he cut the crusts off my turkey sandwiches, watched Nickelodeon with me, and kept the crayons and paper well stocked. Usually, he would call me on my birthday or holidays, but never forgot to remind me when it was his birthday or Father’s Day. When he didn’t feel like drinking with his friends, he would take me skiing or horseback riding. Sometimes his friends would call during one of our rare visits, so he would drop me back off to my mother early. One Christmas, he bought me a My Size Barbie with a pink sequined leotard that I wore every day for weeks. One of the last times I saw him, I was about fifteen and he told me that I ruined his life. When I was sixteen, my stepfather wanted to adopt me. He was uncomfortable knowing that my father had all legal rights to me, and if something were to happen to my mother, my stepfather wanted to be able to have custody. Because I was under eighteen, my father needed to sign a form to allow the adoption to take place. We asked, he refused. We had our lawyers ask, he refused. Then I decided that I would ask him myself. I was too meek and clueless to stand up to him when I was young, and anytime I did challenge him, his curled lips spat out, “Your mother is brainwashing you.” Everyone was shocked when I announced that I would meet with him, face to face. But the time had come for me to stand up for myself. “Are you sure you want to do this?” my mother asked. 27

Creative Writing • the time had come for me to stand up for myself. “I need to,” I said. At this time, I was seeing a counselor, partly because of the stress of having to rehash to lawyers and court liaisons every horrible thing my father ever did, but also to address my disinterest in food. “This is very brave of you,” the counselor said. “It’s not. I have to.” In the days leading up to the appointed meeting time, I told myself over and over: Do not cry, you will not cry, you do not need to. I thought that if my face was red and steeped with tears, my argument would be less effective. I don’t know why I felt the need to repress all emotion. I did not want pity for this, and I wonder if I would have accepted consolation if there were someone there to offer it to me. I don’t know how long the meeting lasted. We met in a house that sat next to our church, and was owned by the church. I saw his car in the parking lot next to the car of our youth pastor, who was going to be at the meeting. My mom wanted someone else to be there, and she couldn’t do it herself. When I opened the door, my dad and the pastor shot up from their seats. I crossed the room and sat on the couch. Do not cry. My hands were cold. My dad spoke first. “First of all, I just want to say that it’s so good to see you, and I miss you so much. I’m glad we got together. It’s just good to hear your voice. I saved all the messages you left on my machine at home, and I listen to them over and over, just to hear your voice.” He smiled. “Why won’t you let Jay adopt me?” The high corners of his mouth plunged from his face. “I am your father.” He said it in the voice that parents get when an unruly child needs discipline. I exploded with tears. The battle sucked every ounce of strength, every breath, and all of my emotion to convince him to let me go. I tried to show him that he didn’t know anything about me. I asked him questions like: Who was my best friend growing up? Where do I do gymnastics? What do I want to do when I grow up? 28

He didn’t know any of it, but he was convinced that we had special mind powers. “If there was a huge event with lots of people, and we were both there, but we didn’t know the other one was there, as soon as we both got there, we would find each other without saying anything. We could just sense it and find each other,” he explained. No matter what I said, it didn’t register. He was so far gone that I was terrified words could not reach him. Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore. “This is the only thing I have ever asked you to do. If you don’t do this one thing for me, I will only remember you as the most selfish person in the entire world.” I was breathing heavily. I felt like my face was sharp, as if it were a knife I was holding to his throat. “All right. I’ll do it.” I nearly collapsed onto the floor when I finally heard him say it. I instantly felt relief and regret, because this was the one thing he ever did for me that I needed him to do, and it was the last thing he could do. This was the biggest thing I have ever done for myself. I acted under the influence of my interests alone. 4 There is an enormous amount of paperwork that goes along with choosing a new father. The government needs a record of all the changes that take place. Most of this was time-consuming, but took little thought. After all, it was rudimentary government paperwork, except for the section concerning my new name. Everyone assumed that I would change my last name to Scanlon. At least my mother’s reasoning was: Why would you still want to associate with such a horrible man? But

Kayleen Wilkinson did not struggle and die a martyr just so that Kayleen Scanlon could have a fresh start. The Sycamore May 2009

• Creative Writing when I think of my name, I don’t think of him. I think of me, and who I am. I needed something to cling to. I needed to be sure that despite it all, I was still me. Kayleen Wilkinson did not struggle and die a martyr just so that Kayleen Scanlon could have a fresh start. I didn’t want to be a new person. Kayleen Scanlon hasn’t done anything worthwhile; she won’t be found in any yearbooks or scrapbooks or newspaper clippings. I needed to prove that I could survive. I couldn’t give up on who I started out as. “You can change your name to anything, actually,” my mother told me. Well, it would be fun to be a Rockefeller. Ooh, or a Romanov—then I wouldn’t even have to marry into the family. Kayleen Nixon, just for scandal’s sake. But I hesitated. A new name means a new person. In some cultures, you get a new name whenever you go through a major life-changing event, but when you finally learn to define yourself, should you abandon your name? I tried out “Scanlon” one day at church. I spoke with a lady I was only somewhat familiar with, discussing dresses, school, and track. “Track? Is that up at the high school? My aunt is the coach! What is your full name?” “Uh… Kayleen. Scanlon.” I threw up the words. It felt like my soul had burst into worms that could not crawl out of sight, but could only lie there, ugly, squirming, and vulnerable.

when you finally learn to define yourself, should you abandon your name? “Huh. I don’t recognize the name.” Shocking. The days passed by like dominoes crashing down one after another, relentless. The Sycamore May 2009

One day, my mother emptied the coffee maker and said, “Ya know, we need to know if you are changing your name or not.” She was paying more attention to the soggy grounds and filters than to her words. I held my toast and stared out the window. “Yeah.” My stepdad came in and announced that it was time to leave for gymnastics. I had just gotten my permit, so I drove, and my stepfather sat next to me. It was an hour-long trip that I made everyday from my house to the gym, through the country and down the highway. Jay wasn’t much of a talker, so the radio was always on. I was calmly mulling over the name situation, mostly noting that I was sick of the word “name,” when a U2 song leaked out of the speakers. I want to run… I turned it up. I want to reach out and touch the flame where the streets have no name… Tears soaked my face as I tried to focus on the road. Jay said nothing. I didn’t want to have to choose. I did not make up my mind in time. The day I went to court with my parents to make the new fathership official, I sat at a desk with the judge’s podium towering over me. The bailiff set a fat tome in front of me. Instantly, my eyes slumped to the legal print letters spelling out KAYLEEN SCANLON. I lifted my hand to the page, pointing at it wide-eyed. “No.” The judge paused and looked over the rims of his glasses. “Oh, we’re not changing the name today? Okay, then.” I was handed a pen and was instructed to start crossing it out. I flipped through page after page, scribbling, smudging, and blotting out the name I was expected to take. I guess I wasn’t in the lawyer’s office the day they asked the name-change question. After hours of legal procedures, it was all official. Let the record show that Kayleen Hannah Wilkinson has been emancipated from Timothy James Wilkinson; James Darrel Scanlon has adopted Kayleen Hannah Wilkinson; Kayleen Hannah Wilkinson will remain Kayleen Hannah Wilkinson from this day forth. •

Kayleen Wilkinson

is a junior and a creative writing major. Congratulations on winning The Sycamore Creative Writing Contest! 29

Creative Writing •

The Life of

Henry H When summer came around each year, the boys and I would go hunting for butterflies. Jerry, Billy, Joe and I would all get on our bikes, strap our nets onto our backs, and pedal as fast as we could over to the forest. August was the best month. Each one of us would have at least three butterflies in his net by the end of the hunt. They were the white and yellow kind, mostly. Whoever caught the most by the end of the day got to wear the official Superman hat we’d all chipped in for and ordered out of a magazine. Once, I caught a monarch. None of us had ever seen a monarch before, and we didn’t even know what its name was at the time. On that day, we forgot about the hat and pretended that the exotic new species I had caught was a tiger. From then on, we went hunting for tigers in the woods. Henry Haskell stared at the paper in front of him. There it sat, cranked into a black machine like a prisoner on the rack, last words emblazoned upon it in black ink. He ran a wizened hand across his stubbly beard, squinting his eyes and furrowing his brow. It was a great beginning for a memoir, he thought. Intriguing, adventurous, yet downto-earth. A great little anecdote to start off the story of his life. 30

The only problem was that he had not written it. He sighed and clicked his front teeth together. He sniffed. He ran a hand through his hair. A few moments were occupied by picking at a piece of black under his fingernail. What was it? A poppy seed? He looked at it very, very carefully. He decided that it was extremely important to figure out what exactly the black thing was, even if it took him all day. Especially if it took him all day. Had he touched anything black? He could not remember. “Lint,” he decided finally. “Must be lint.” He flicked it onto the floor. A reasonable explanation had been found. But when he looked up, the words he had not written were still on the paper. Henry sighed again and turned a little bit in his chair. He looked at the paper out of the corner of his eye. This whole affair was extremely disconcerting, for he distinctly remembered every move he had made the night before. He retraced his actions. He had sat down at the typewriter, inserted the piece of paper, stretched, taken his medicine, cracked his knuckles, and then sat there for sixteen minutes doing absolutely nothing. He had eventually reached out with a tentative finger, shaking a little bit from the medicine, and touched the W key very, very lightly. He bargained with himself that if he increased pressure with his finger for ten seconds The Sycamore May 2009

• Creative Writing

Haskell

Caroline Lamarque

and the key made a mark at any time during that ten, he would have to start writing. He had miscalculated the pressure at Three, and an involuntary twitch made an undeniable W at Six. So he wrote ‘hen’ after the W, and then went to bed. That was all. None of this intriguing first paragraph had been there, and there was no one else in the house. Not only had he not written the paragraph--it hadn’t even happened. Sure, Jerry and Billy and Joe used to go into the forest all the time, and they had taken nets with them, he remembered that. But he had never gone. He hadn’t even known what they did there. He had gone straight home after school and did not go out in the summer. He had not had any friends. He had lived with his mother and father and his little sister, and had kept to himself for the sixteen years that he lived at home. So really, this was the beginning of a novel, and not a memoir at all. Henry scratched his head. It was all very curious. The memoir had not been his idea. He had gone to the doctor’s about all the tests they had been running on him, and found out that, like so many of his contemporaries had already done, he was dying. That didn’t surprise him much; he had quit smoking ten years back but that didn’t undo all the decades that he had been a smoker, and he was pushing seventy, besides. His batteries were simply running out, and that was that. The Sycamore May 2009

When the doctor started pointing to a bunch of charts and pictures and foggy, ghost-like images of Henry’s insides, Henry stopped him and said simply, “how long?” The Why was unimportant. Everyone had to die of something, and he really did not care about Whys. He was dying, and that was all he needed to know. “Hard to tell,” said the doctor, rubbing his chin. “Could be upwards of eight months, though. A year, even. You’ve got some time left.” “What should I do?” Henry asked. “Well, you can do a lot of things. You won’t really start... deteriorating until the very end. That’s usually how it goes with cases like these. If I were you, I’d get my affairs in order while I still can. Have you got any relatives?” “No,” Henry replied. “You might want to look into some kind of assisted living arrangement yourself, then. I have some pamphlets…” The doctor made as if to leave, but Henry caught his sleeve. “I mean, what should I do?” he asked again. The doctor seemed to abandon his professionalism for a moment. “Well, you’re… sixty-eight, yes?” “Sixty-nine this August,” Henry affirmed. “If I make it that long.” “Oh, I wouldn’t be surprised,” said the doctor. “But, 31

Creative Writing •

you don’t seem like the type of man who would want to… say, go sky-diving or bungee-jumping or exploring in the Amazon. Am I right?” “I suppose so, yes,” Henry

answered. “Why not write a memoir? While you still can, I mean? When you go, all those sixty-eight, nine years will go right with you. Why not write about them while you still can?” “I’m no good at writing.” “Still. Might be therapeutic. Help you… take stock of all your achievements in life. Help you accept… the end. You know?” Henry shuffled his feet. English had always been his worst subject. He could barely spell, let alone write something fancy and French like a memoir. And when he got home, he made himself a lettuce and tomato sandwich instead of dusting off the old typewriter, deciding that he didn’t really need to write about his life; he was perfectly content to simply live it the way he always had, and wait for death. That had been three months ago. After three months of sandwiches and waiting for death, Henry suddenly started to feel anxious. He had never really stopped thinking about the memoir, though he told himself he had no intention of actually writing one. He’d been thinking about what he would write, if he could, and realized after some time that he really did not know. What was there about his life that was worth writing about? That was when he dusted off the old typewriter, rifled through his boxes of assorted memorabilia, and became determined to find out. He hoped it wasn’t too late, that he hadn’t already forgotten all of the worthwhile memories he had of life. It was easier thought of than done, however, and after three days, he still had not written a word. Then, this: a whole introduction to a life that had not happened. Or had it? Henry scratched his chin. Perhaps it really had happened, and he was just forgetting things. He 32

was almost positive that he hadn’t, but he couldn’t be sure. He looked up at the pictures that he had arranged on the shelf above his typewriter. They were there to get his memory in gear. There was a picture of him from grade school, a picture of him next to his sister on their prom night (neither of them had been able to get a date in time) and a plaque with his name spelled ‘Haskill’ instead of ‘Haskell’ on it, commending him for fifty years’ service at the same restaurant. That was all he could find in his house that seemed to mark important times in his past. Rather pathetic, he thought. But perhaps all was not lost. Perhaps the first paragraph had really happened, and he’d written it late last night and then forgotten all about it. He wouldn’t be surprised. However, he decided that honesty should be the policy from now on, and set to work writing the whole truth about his senior prom. (He did decide to keep the first paragraph, however. It was too good to throw away.) With two fingers tapping at the keys like chickens, he began the next chapter in his saga. My Senior Prom I wanted to take Edith Harvy to prom. She went with somone else. Noone else would go with me, they all ready had dates. So Mother said Bernice and I should go together. Bernice was my sister. That was my senior prom. Henry wrinkled his nose. Not only was this paragraph dreadful, it skipped most of his childhood. He could not help himself from feeling disheartened. The quality of his prose was mightily discouraging compared to the first anecdote. He decided to make himself a sandwich and take a nap instead of writing more. Henry could not remember a time when he had not had lettuce and tomato on rye for a sandwich.

4 The Sycamore May 2009

• Creative Writing

enry lumbered over to the typewriter again and sat down. Not only was he getting sick of living, the charm of the first paragraph had worn off and he was sick of writing and thinking about his dull life that didn’t seem to want to end. In fact, after his sandwich and his nap, Henry had waited an entire week to even look at the typewriter again. But when he did, he was shocked to see that the Phantom Typist had struck again, and had replaced his horrible paragraph with a story of its own. Edith

a frame up to her face and keep her that way forever, she looked so beautiful. Then she handed it back to me and with her eyes, told me to pin it on. We never even made it to the dance floor. I took her to my house, since my folks had gone to a club meeting they had had that night. We never said a word to each other. Even though I thought I had planned everything beforehand, it seemed that Edith had had it rehearsed. When we got to my bedroom, she was already kissing me. When I reached for her, her dress was already off. And afterwards, she spoke the only word she’d say all evening: “yes.” I only figured out why on graduation day, when I asked her to marry me.

I had been worshiping Edith Harvey for months by the time prom season rolled around. Her fabulous gams, her heart-shaped face, the way her eyes made the gold cross she always wore look like it was there only to deter casual onlookers. I was no casual onlooker. She was my goddess, and I wasn’t about to let her good-girl front fool me; she felt the same way I did. I saw right past that phony cross and into her eyes, and I really couldn’t tell you who asked who first. Those eyes, those big, grey eyes said, “Henry, what’s takin’ you? I’m dyin’ over here waitin’ for you to ask me,” so I did. I sauntered up to her one day after lunch, ran a hand through my hair all debonair-like, and said, “ You comin’ to prom with me or what?” She was with her friends at the time, and they all looked at me like I’d asked her to take off her dress right there. “The nerve!” said Minnie Mayer, and she took Edith by the elbow and pulled her away. But Edith’s eyes had already given me my answer. I didn’t say another word to her until prom night, when I rolled up to her house in my car. Rang her doorbell, and for a second I thought, “Aw, you’re crazy. That girl never even gave you a maybe, and you’re at her house because her *eyes* told you she was into it?” But then, there she was, in a white cocktail dress with sequins sewn all over it. I gave her my arm and when we got to the car, I offered her the corsage I’d bought her. It was a red one; I thought girls liked red roses, and I was worried for a moment that she wouldn’t like it because it didn’t match her dress. But she took it from me, held it up to her nose, and closed her eyes as she gave it a little sniff. I can still see her doing it. I wanted to hold

Henry sat with his mouth agape. That had definitely not happened. He was absolutely certain that he had gone to prom with his sister. They’d stood there and not looked at each other, nobody looked at them or talked to them or asked them to dance, they had some punch, and then they went home. Edith had danced with a few boys that night and looked bored, and after graduation, he never saw her again. And he had never been married. Not to Edith, or anybody. He scratched his head, a little disturbed. Also a little intrigued. It may have been a blatant falsehood, but it was a wonderful falsehood to indulge. Henry suddenly found himself full of more energy than he had had in quite some time. He stretched his fingers, and began writing with renewed vigor at his memoir. Since he wasn’t planning on publishing it, he decided that it did not really matter if any of it was true or not. So he continued in the same vein as the mysterious Phantom Typist, and added a few details here, a few details there. He finished it in the night.

The Sycamore May 2009

Creative Writing •

Henry smiled at his Magnum Opus: not quite his life, but at least a suitable fantasy. Henry Haskell’s life had been full and eventful. He had married Edith Harvey, they had had four children, and Henry had gotten a career as a set designer on Broadway for the first few years of their marriage. After that, he mastered the accordion and became a street performer. One day, as he was playing a lively polka, he noticed a man jaywalking, unaware of a car barreling straight for him. Henry dropped his accordion and pushed the man out of danger. The man turned out to be a wealthy businessman, and gave Henry not only a brand new accordion but a million dollars. Edith and Henry and the children moved to the country and retired on the money. One of their children became a famous Hollywood actress, another a doctor, and the other two astronauts—they were the first twins in space. Edith had died a year ago in her sleep, and Henry himself was dying as well, though he had thought fit to write a memoir before he went. He had donated his fortune to different charities, and was waiting to see Edith again in the hereafter. Henry smiled at his Magnum Opus: not quite his life, but at least a suitable fantasy. In fact, he thought his prose had somehow gotten much better. It even equaled 34

that of the Phantom Typist in several places. He was quite proud, and went to bed satisfied, and truly ready to die, having at least pretended to live a worthwhile life.

4 The next morning, Henry came down the stairs and looked at the pages by his typewriter. He turned the cover page aside to reread his wonderful life’s story, but there was nothing there. There were pages and pages of nothing but blankness; all that was left was the title: “The Life of Henry Haskell.” •

Caroline lamaraque

is a sophomore and a creative writing major. Congratulations on winning The Sycamore Creative Writing Contest! To submit your creative writing, e-mail SycamoreCreativeWriting@Gmail.com. The Sycamore May 2009

• Style

Express, Don’t Impress Dressing for yourself and making style work for you Elsa Dial

Style Editor

et no one kid you—a unique style does not exist! I remember reading a senior quote in my high school yearbook that said, “Quotes are for the inspirationless.” I’d only seen this boy in passing, but after reading his quote, I had a sudden strong disliking toward him. You see, everyone needs inspiration, whether they find it in their natural environment or in a magazine. If feeling like your clothing choice is borrowed from every other person really bothers you, then by all means, don a burlap sack and rubber gloves topped off with a lampshade hat in your quest to expand the “world of wardrobe.” Become the modern artist of the fashion world—but be aware that your new look has most likely been done before by an avant-garde designer. The point: do not feel that you must grope desperately for a style that is entirely separate from what exists. Have fun, and make the styles that already exist your own. For example, in 10th grade, my best friend and I categorized and named our own personal styles. The collaborative list included things like “Minnie Mouse 80s pop,” “Victorian Laciness,” and “Johnny Q” (short for Johnny Quest, that action-filled 90s cartoon). Sure, “80s Minnie Mouse” translates to big bows, bright, plastic jewelry, and checkered jackets with shoulder pads, and

The Sycamore May 2009

“Johnny Q” is just another way of saying khaki shorts and white, collared shirts, but creating those titles made it our own and slightly different from the mainstream. Not everyone must have completely different styles. Instead, they can make their mark on existing styles. Much of style is about establishing an identity. For some, this translates as creating a persona, and for others, it simply means a set uniform with some fun tweaks mixed in. David Bowie transformed himself into the androgynous Ziggy Stardust, donning flamboyant outfits and dying his hair fire engine red. We’ve all watched Gwen Stefani’s style progress with her music as she changed from baggy, plaid pants, midriff-bearing tanks, red lipstick, and bindi, to her more polished, pale-faced, military-inspired Harajuku Girls current look. A final example is Madonna. She reinvents herself through style once a decade (what Madonna does may not be necessarily healthy, but it supports the point). The reason we work on personal style is less to impress and more to express ourselves on a daily basis. It is a quick way of being creative in the rush of schedules. You may be able to convince yourself that you don’t have time to write or sing, but it would be very difficult to convince yourself that you don’t have time to dress. •

Style •

MODEL STUDENTS These Wells students know how to dress 1

“The environment has completely altered my style.” Anastasia goes for grunge in the winter and girly, 1940s in the summer.

“I woke up late, and I had 20 minutes to get ready,” says Vanessa of her outfit.

“I’m a fan of black and white,” says Loey of her personal style. She explains that she is drawn to wearing the two shades because they are clearly defined from the colorful world around us. It’s something you don’t see in real life; it brings a sense of order. 36

The Sycamore May 2009

• Style Elsa Dial

Style Editor 4

Mac put on Wells’ first-ever fashion show last spring semester.

A colorful couple, Caroline and Eric leave the dining hall.

Best-Dressed Professor: Catherine Burroughs She may not be a student, but Professor Burroughs is known for her elegant, and sometimes theatrical, style.

Erika makes a statement by mixing summer and country style. • The Sycamore May 2009

Dear Minerva,

Dear Minerva, So, my boyfriend is a huge flirt. It didn’t bother me at first, but now it’s just getting out of hand. What should I do? Dear Bothered by Boyfriend, Have you tried talking to your boyfriend about this? If you have spoken to him about this issue and he hasn’t tried to tone down the flirting, it’s quite possible that this aspect of his personality is something he can’t change. If you can’t accept his flirting ways, and if he can’t change them, you might have hit a dead end in the relationship. Don’t try to fix this problem by flirting with other people. Often, playing games backfires, and if you want him to know what he’s doing wrong, you have to treat him as you want to be treated.

Dear Hopeful & Happy,

How do you keep love’s flame alive People tend to act irrationally all over when you live long distance? the world. Wells is a smaller community, so people are more aware of others’ Dear Long Distance Lover, actions and mistakes. Many people will grow, think more responsibly, Having a long distance relationship and act more rationally, but no one can be surprisingly easy with enough is rational at all times. It’s hard to communication. As the cliché goes: be rational when feelings, emotions, absence makes the heart grow fonder— and pressures are constantly affecting and it’s true. Make sure that you have everyone. It’s important to be tolerant some way to communicate regularly and understanding, because although throughout the week, whether it be by someone may have gotten in trouble phone, AIM, e-mail, etc. Send pictures over the weekend, no one is perfect. to your love of things you have recently Unfortunately, as long as there are done. Send your love little surprises in people who make mistakes, there will the mail: mix CDs, letters, something be people who judge them. Don’t be one you painted. Try not to put yourself in of those who judge. situations where you will be tempted to cheat. Keep a picture of your love Dear Minerva, in your room. You might be surprised how easy it can be to stay connected to I am having a hard time staying someone even when that person is far focused on my academics and keep away. getting distracted by my computer and friends. What can I do to not procrastinate and stay focused? Dear Minerva, Dear Sidetracked Student, Do you think that even though people act completely irrationally at It’s important for every person to find Wells at times, they’ll get better and hir own work space—a place where grow up? I certainly hope so. ze can be alone, and a place ze can designate as hir concentration station. Sincerely, There are many spaces on campus that Hopeful & Happy are available to students. You could sign up for a carrel in the library or find a spot in Faculty Parlors. Once you

Do you have a question that you want Minerva to answer? Submit it to The Sycamore and see it in the next issue! 38

The Sycamore May 2009

DEAR

MINERVA find your spot, don’t bring your phone, iPod, or anything else that will serve as a distraction. Focusing should be a breeze with a work spot.

relate most to the Troodon formosus. As you probably know, I am the goddess of many things, one of them being wisdom. Although the Troodon formosus was a rather small dinosaur, Dear Minerva, weighing in around 110 and at an average of 6 feet tall, it was most likely What do I do about a roommate one of the smartest dinosaurs. Also, the that’s always in the room? I’d like Troodon formosus walked on two legs, some privacy, but all he does is which I find very civilized. play video games and music. I need privacy with my girlfriend! Help Dear Minerva, me! What’s the point of the Syc? Dear Privacy Problems, Dear Curious Questioner, Try talking to your roommate. Explain to him that you need your alone time in The mission of The Sycamore is to the room. If he doesn’t listen, you could create a forum for students to discuss talk to Residence Life about your issue. and become informed about many It always helps to have an outside important issues, including on- and perspective or someone to help mediate. off-campus topics. Unlike any other See if you and your roommate can come publication on campus, The Sycamore to a compromise. Make a plan. Let him has music, film, and style sections. know beforehand if you want privacy. The Sycamore aims to include many Hopefully, through communication people on campus, and also to get the and compromise, you can come to an perspectives of the Wells community members. The Sycamore holds agreement. contests each semester for writing and photography as a way to help artists Dear Minerva, publish and express themselves. It’s a If you could be any kind of dinosaur, source of discussion, entertainment, and expression. • what would you be? Dear Pondering the Prehistoric, I’ve given this question great consideration and I’ve decided that I

Send questions to

Ask me anything.

SycamoreAdvice@gmail.com The Sycamore May 2009

Kate Dingley

Title: chris walken Nikon D-80 Imagine the struggle this man must go through in order to create his own, unique identity; the way he makes his living is by taking on someone else’s persona. Aesthetically, Kate did an amazing job, managing to capture the man’s personality in a single exposure. The blown-out background provides a pleasing backdrop for the man’s face. A beautiful composition!

Molly Cichy

Graphics Editor