80th Birthday Special Issue by Wessex Scene

WessexScene.co.uk University of Southamptonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Student Magazine

80th Anniversary

Welcome

BRIDIE PEARSON-JONES Editor

WESSEX SCENE TEAM Want to write for us?

Get in touch with a section editor. Editor BRIDIE PEARSON-JONES editor@soton.ac.uk

Deputy Editor MICHAEL OLIVER

deputy-editor@wessexscene.co.uk

Head of Design SEBASTIAN STEELE design@wessexscene.co.uk

HEAD OF IMAGERY JORDAN STEWART image@wessexscene.co.uk

Features ELLIE WERMTER

features@wessexscene.co.uk

Features ALICE HEARING

features@wessexscene.co.uk

Science and Environment TRINA DAVIES science@wessexscene.co.uk

Politics SAMUEL WILLIAMS

politics@wessexscene.co.uk

Opinion FREYA JEFFRIES

opinion@wessexscene.co.uk

Travel NUALA MCBRIDE

travel@wessexscene.co.uk

Lifestyle Laura Cox

lifestyle@wessexscene.co.uk

International CAMERON RIDGWAY

international@wessexscene.co.uk

Sport JACK PETHICK

sports@wessexscene.co.uk

Sport SEAN O’BRIEN

sports@wessexscene.co.uk

News REBECCA LAKE

news@wessexscene.co.uk

News TOM MORGAN

80 ANNIVERARY ISSUE TH

When I ran to become Wessex Scene editor, one of my main pledges would to be to celebrate the history of the publication, as well as the University, the Union and the wider history of Southampton. Fortunately, I was lucky enough to be elected to run this incredible magazine in an anniversary year. By far the oldest student group or society on campus, Wessex Scene is older than the University itself. Over the 80 years we’ve broken some extraordinary news stories (including the breaking of the world war) and ran dozens of success campaigns. While we’ve changed extensively from the 1936 Wessex News format, Wessex Scene has continuously been the leading media outlet at the University. We’ve produced some of the biggest names in journalism today including the likes of John Inverdale, Dominic Mohan, Dominic Smith and Jon Sopel - and dozens of our current writers are regularly published in national papers. Over the years, we’ve won a myriad of awards and have been recognised on a national level dozens of times. It’s an absolute honour and a privilege to lead this publication in such a special year, but of course Wessex Scene has always been (and always will be) completely run by volunteers. All the incredible work that comes out of the Scene on a daily basis comes from this group of talented and committed students - and I can’t be thankful enough to my excellent team from Wessex Scene, and the other campus media groups for their continued tremendous effort to make Wessex Scene one of the leading student media groups in the country. In particular, this project would have been impossible without the help of my Deputy Editor Michael Oliver. Michael has been instrumental throughout the year and this project has been his baby - spending countless hours in the library skimming through old editions of the magazine and paper, and then carefully selecting the best to put into this issue. Reading over old articles doesn’t just show the history of the University of Southampton, but also tells a story of the development of society, which is evident throughout this issue. Oak is the name given to 80th Anniversary celebrations - and an oak tree takes decades to grow into something that is sophisticated and powerful. 80 years of hard work, commitment and dedication has shaped Wessex Scene into what it is today. Hence, I sign this letter on behalf of not just myself, but all my predecessors who have been setting the agenda and shaping the conversation on campus since 1936.

news@wessexscene.co.uk

Vox Principis (1936)

LOGOS THROUGH THE YEARS

A Country Wiped Off The Map (1939)

1940s

1950

The Day We Reached A Hundred! (1950)

The Suez Crisis (1956)

1970

Freshers 1970, Pub and Food Guide (1970)

TIMELINE

Nightline (1972)

Led Zeppelin at the University of Southampton (1973)

Wide Support for Boycott (1967) 14

1980s 1990

Hall Drugs Raid: Student Threatened with Legal Action (1992)

The Shawshank Redemption (1994)

Southampton Students Exposed to Great Fire Risk Every Day (1998)

Bridie Pearson-Jones, Editor 2015-2016

Students Vote In Favour of a 24-Hour Library

Bill Gates Grants University £370,000 to Fund Medical Research

WELCOME

Gutter Press (Late 1980s) 23

2000s

750th Issue Spectacular: State of the Union (2001) 27

2010 Six Degrees of Sex-aration (2011)

Football Club Exposed (1984) 23

Graduation Balls-Up! 24

Hands Off Our Money: University Accused (1982) 22

MARKETING DAN LINSTEAD

WELCOME

Chaotic Opening (1966) 13

Re-Affiliated, NUS Regained (1969) 15

Gay Couple Accepts Responsibility For Every Major Disaster of the Last 50 Years (2012)

vpdci@susu.org

12 Crowded Out? (1963) 12

VP DCI KERRY SCLATER

LOGOS THROUGH THE YEARS 08

1960s

See you in twenty years for the centennial.

publicity@wessexscene.co.uk

Editor Cheats in Elimination Dance (1946) 07

Pause TOM RANDALL

pause@wessexscene.co.uk

1930s

Southampton United (2005) 28 Southampton Burns (2005) 29 Late Night Library Love (2007) 30 Local Legends: Tariq (2008) 31

FRONT COVER IMAGE BY SEBASTIAN STEELE 3

Logos through the years

1930s

VOX PRINICIPIS I have very willingly responded to the request of the President of the Students’ Union to write a few words for the first number of the ‘Wessex News’, the more so as I should like to take this opportunity of congratulating the Students’ Council, and the whole student body on the courage and enterprise which has induced them to launch this venture. I am quite certain that, if this publication is carried out on the lines which have been outlined to me, it will be of great advantage to the whole College. Very often it had been borne in upon me how difficult it is for various members of the College to know what is going on in departments of activity with which they are not intimately associated, and, indeed, I think very few have any appreciation of the large amount of valuable and interesting work that is done on behalf of the College as a whole, and the student body in particular,

and of the extent and range of these activities which have all played their part in building up a sound esprit de corps, and a real basis for university life. I hope very much that from week to week “Wessex News” will be read by all those who are taking part in the activities of the College, and, further, as time goes one, by those who are interested in the College, but not closely associated with its work; it should bring home to them how many and various are the aspects of its life. From the more practical point of view, I am certain that the publication of facts with regard to what is taking place, and, perhaps more particularly, to what is going to take place, will do much towards easing the organisation work of those who are responsible for various College activities, Very often difficulties have arisen owing to the fact that separate activities have

been organised on parallel lines, and have resulted in difficulties because neither side knew what the other was doing. I am sure that the pooling of information will do much to simplify and to improve our corporate life. I hope very much that all connected with the College, staff and students alike, will make it a point of honour not only to buy, but to read the ‘Wessex News’, because I conceive that in a very short time it will be possible to get a picture of the various activities of the College far more clearly than is possible at the present time. From time to time I have been greatly struck by the fact that projects and developments which have been in the air for some considerable time, and which have even reached concrete from, are quite unknown to people whom one would expect to be most likely to have been brought into contact with them. How much more is this

1936 25th Feb 1936

1941

true of the large majority of the members of the College who are not likely to have been even in distant contact with those who are planning these matters. I feel that, if this publication is a success, it will be a great instrument into welding the idea, the projects and the ambitions of each individual member of the college into one corporate plan.

1942 1948 1949

I have only written in generalities as this does no seem to be the occasion to talk of any particular interest, but I can assure the Students’ Council that I shall be always very ready to help in the provision of material for news, and in any other encouragement that I can give to this venture, and to assure it that, so far as it is possible, all those connected with the College and its administration will do their best to help.

1954 1962 1965 1966 1969

K.H. Vickers, Principal.

1970

Heard on campus ‘To all students in Highfield and Connaught Halls. Knowing you to be half-starved, Stoneham students offer assorted crusts, all ages, 6d. per 50. Buy now! Real value!’

‘A small girl in a Southampton School was asked what she would like to be when she grew up. Her reply was: “I would like to be a film star, but if I haven’t got any sex-appeal I shall become a teacher”’.

Vol. 1 Issue 1, 25/02/1936

Vol. 3 Issue 8, 30/11/1937

80th ANNIVERSARY

1972 1980 80th ANNIVERSARY

1930s

1940s

A Country Wiped Off the Map May 1939

and police are all gone, and the last words I hear this night are the greetings of two S.A. men as they meet on the steps of the Deutsches Haus.

It is the evening of March 14th, and I am paying my supper bill in a restaurant near my home. There is an unpleasant tension in the air. Outside it is snowing slightly, but the streets are oddly deserted, for cordons of armed gendarmerie or soldiers have kept the centre of the town cleared to prevent any possible demonstration or disturbance by the local Nazis or Czech patriots. The head-waiter chats to me before I go: he is \ cut up that the Slovaks have left the democracy, he cannot understand it. But he is confident that CzechoMoravia will remain as he laughs at the idea of Hitler in Brno; why, the town is 77 per cent Czech, anyhow. I feel reassured, but my reassurance leaves me as I make my way home along the windy streets: for the soldiers

It is still snowing a little when I awake next morning, and my eyes blink themselves into wakefulness at the sight of a huge swastika fluttering from the house opposite mine. I get out of bed in a daze. The old milkwoman with the morning milk rings my bell. She is weeping and agitated: ‘Our country is gone’, she says, putting the milk into my hands. ‘Our country is gone, and the Germans are coming’. I was teaching that morning at the English Institute, a large private college of some 2,000 students solely for teaching English, situated on the Mamesti svobody, the main square of the town. It was only when I set out through the town that I fully realised how this was affecting people. Flags had been ordered from all public buildings and most of these were now guarded by silly youths as ordners, questioning all who wished to enter. There was no uproar, no disturbances, for Czechs this was merely the last straw of freedom gone. The mental tension was unbearable in a silence that the drifting snow

am writing this in Brno, but I shall have to bring it personally to England as it would never get through the censorship. Can you imagine what happens when a country is crossed out? Inadequate though words are, let me give you some impressions of the catastrophe, as it swiftly overwhelmed my second home.

only served to accentuate. A look of sullen, reproachful resignation haunted nearly every downcast face; here and there on a corner or in some small shop some people even openly wept. In the more German quarters of the town a jubilant Heil Hitler would echo across the street as two proud bearers of a swastika arm-band passed each other. By 11 o’clock the army had arrived, lorries, armoured cars and fieldkitchens bringing soup to the starving populace, though it did not take the army long to find out how well and cheaply provisioned were the Czech shops.

smeared with caricatures and gibes and the shops taken over by commissars; the foreign consulates besieged by crowds of desperate clamouring people hoping to find a refuge abroad; mysterious disappearances; the shadow of prison or concentration camp on unnamed charges; within four days, three of my own acquaintances committed suicide, and even the British Vice-Consul killed himself. The existence of these people has become less than that of animals; in many cases whole families are forced to find their way to other lands as beggars.

Jew-hunting began almost at once, a great drive carried out by S.A., S.S., and Gestapo. In this town the Jews have been the most cultured element, and about the only section of the community with any social sense and taste. And now they were going about fearing for their very existence. I cannot dwell on the hundreds of details of the next few days; all Jews deprived of their cars, houses confiscated, valuables taken. The homeless Jew became almost a commonplace. Lawyers, doctors and all teachers were dismissed. Shop-fronts

It is mainly on account of these people that I have returned to England this Easter, and I am wondering if it is possible to break through the usual student apathy and find some of them willing to help in some small way. Unfortunately I was delayed a week in Prague over formalities for leaving the country and college had already gone down, so that I have not been able to see people personally. W. S. Allen

80th ANNIVERSARY

Editor Cheats in Elimination Dance From Our Special Correspondant. It was indeed a tonic on such a shocking night to step inside Highfield Hail again, and have that curious sense of well-relished guilt that the average male always gets on entering an all-girl establishment. (I wonder if girls get an equivalent sensation in Connaught and Stoneham). Still, for me, this was the Peter Pan of the Entertainments and, I do believe, the Wendys get more attractive as the years go by and as rationing, etc., become more heartbreaking. As usual, the Admin was well laid-on, and, as any well-arranged event runs with automatic smoothness, so could the Highfield Committee watch the evening unrolling to the accompaniment of general enjoyment and D-Day-like thoroughness. The refreshments - Ah, how did you manage it? I have often wondered, watching those Hollywood Technicoloured banquets, if food of such glorious colour could live up to taste-expectation. Highfield, we know now that it can. Whoever created this food has certainly graduated in the art of reaching a man’s heart firstly, through his eyes, and then through - well, you know the rest. And in what better surroundings could one have eaten those mouth-melting morsels than among convivial company, sweet music, and, oh yes, those floral decorations; for sheer unobtrusive, atmosphere-creating and tastefully sited decor, congratulations. The band, while rather staid, performed its basic function quite effectively, while, at the same time, discouraging any rug-cutting and jitter-bugging instincts. Maybe Miss Lightbody has read the account of that experiment carried out by an American University to investigate the effects of extremes of music on students; various couples were, unsuspecting and observed, induced into rooms in each of which only a certain type of music was available. The highbrow music

1946

couple relaxed and listened, the light-music couple smoked and chatted; as for the swing-music couple, the experimenting authorities, quite astonished at their findings here, dared not put them into print. I am sure that all concerned were most happy to have such a representative body of Staff there; the Principal, Lady Wood and family were in the best of appreciative spirits, and the other members of the Staff with whom unanimous that it was well worth defying the weather to be there. Now that the `Trubshaw’ ‘among those present’ note has been struck, no account the Highfield Entertainment could he complete without the usual post mortem. So here goes: Among those present. Joan Crabbe, one of the best. M.C.’s within living memory at Highfield. Now I wonder where she developed that ‘on parade’ style! June and Jean (Cadier, or course. What a delightful combination of names!). Most unconservative, I thought. Margaret Atkinson, who definitely appears to prefer football as a sport - or is it, footballers as sportsmen? Keep it in the team, Roger! Finally, with my own eyes I saw the Vice-President of the Union replenishing lipstick. Fashion Notes. Joan (Navy Mixture) Colbourne, in a very svelte blue gown. Last, but by no means least, Miss Lightbody, in turquoise trimmed with red, was the ideal hostess, Verbal bouquets to Miss Lightbody, her committee and staff for making 1946 the most memorable and enjoyably of Highfield Entertainments.

Heard on Campus ‘“No, I didn’t go out on Saturday - did I miss very much?” Miss much! Well, what about that Shadow Show Entertainment after supper with its delicate traceries and solid shadows on the sheets so painfully stitched together by a small energetic group. It was intriguing to notice who was chosen for the various roles! And when Keith Gough’s band, which made it possible for Highfield to have real music, got going… oh boy!... rumbas are gaining in popularity with those rumbling drums, wailing saxophones and lurid lights…’ - Vol 7 Issue 4, 25/11/1941 80th ANNIVERSARY

Logos through the years 1982

The Day We Reached A Hundred!

1984

May 1950 The College Centenary Celebrations held last Wednesday, included a special service at Highfield Church, luncheon in the College Refectory, and an informal reception in the Guildhall. Many distinguished guests attended the celebrations, including Earl Mountbatten, the College Visitor; the Duke of Wellington, President of the College; and the Bishop of Rochester, who delivered the address at the Church. Before the Service, Civic Representatives from many parts of Wessex entered the Church and they were followed a little later by a procession of the College Council and the Academic Staff. This was led by the Marshal, the Chairman of the Council (Sir Samuel Gurney Dixon), the Principal (Sir Robert Wood), the Duke of Wellington and Earl Mountbatten. Many representatives from other Universities and Colleges attended the celebrations and also members of the University Grants Committee. The Service was taken by the Rev. Herbert Livesey. In the address the Bishop of Rochester took as his text St. Luke chapter 24, verse 25. He said that higher education has a

1989 1991 1994 1995 1996 1997 1999 2002 2007 2010 2016 8

1950s

80th ANNIVERSARY

Earl Mountbatten and the Duke of Wellington receiving the scrolls which gave them the temporary membership of Students Union, from Jeff Wilkinson two-fold purpose - it promotes the search after truth, and endeavours to make good citizens. The keynote of University life is fellowship, the fellowship between master and student. For this reason the Refectory and the Chapel are as important as the Library. Book learning, said the Bishop, must not be divorced from life. Heated and informal discussion promotes the fellowship which transforms isolated students into disciples of the master. The Bishop ended his address by stressing the importance of Christianity in education.

It is the ultimate truth, he said, and without Christianity all education becomes un-coordinated and useless. The Presentation Following the service came the presentation of temporary membership of the Union scrolls to the Duke of Wellington and Earl Mountbatten. The Ceremony took place on the steps of Main Building and the Public Orator, Mr. Peter South, delivered two illuminated addresses in Latin to our distinguished guests. The Duke of Wellington

thanking the students for the honour they had conferred upon him, said that we did not realise the â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;kickâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; it gave older men to be welcomed by the young. He regretted that his student membership at Southampton could not last longer than a day. Earl Mountbatten also thanked the students and recounted a tale he had heard concerning his great uncle, the Duke of Connaught, who was also a College Visitor some years ago. After the Presentation the guests adjourned to the West Building for the the Centenary luncheon.

1950s

The Suez Crisis Wanted Two thousand pounds and two tickets to Melbourne, Australia. Please Contact M & B

For Sale One long strong Black Pudding. Apply after dark to J. Ramsey, Connaught Hall

Required Information concerning length and strength of Black Pudding as advertised - BP Connoisseur Two tall young men require jobs as goalposts for Lacrosse Team. Apply E. Block, Connaught Hall (After Dark).

1950

veryone regrets the sudden worsening of the Middle East situation, and we all sincerely hope that a peace settlement can be arrived at which will be satisfactory to all parties concerned in the dispute and to the world at large. The Middle East is an important source of raw material in the shape of oil, and a very vital link in world communications. It is especially important to this country and commonwealth, for reasons of which we are all well aware. We have seen the steady decline in the prospects for peace in the Middle East over the past two months. The Arab states have become more hostile in their attitude towards us, and Israel has become more and more uneasy about her position. It is largely owing to the policies of Colonel Nasser that the position has deteriorated to the extent it has. Firstly the seizure of the Suez Canal, which even those who support

this action cannot but admit, was carried out in a most unfortunate manner. His ambition for political leadership of the Arab world have alarmed all those outside his influence.

show our friendship for Egypt bu leaving the Suez Canal and by our actions in the Sudan. This has not bettered the situation at all, in fact it has been taken as a sign of weakness.

Israel especially cannot be judged too harshly for her actions. She has been provoked again and again in the past few years with no redress, and when the Egyptians are seen to be buying Russian arms, and she is forbidden to buy arms in the West, it is not unreasonable that she should regard her situation as desperate. The United Nations has not been a pillar of support on which she can rely. Long ago it passed a resolution condemning Egypt for preventing Israeli ships from using the Suez Canal, and nothing was done to implement this decision at all!

When therefore the probability of a serious ‘spreading war’ became evident, we should have been shirking our great responsibilities in the area if we had done nothing, The United Nations could not have acted quickly enough to avert the danger. The British and French governments therefore, in their sull knowledge of the situation decided that effective ‘police action’ to localise hostilities must be taken. To be effective the action had to be quick and so it was not possible to have complete consultation with the commonwealth and our allies, but it is to be expected that they will gradually comve to realise that what the British and French governments have done was courageous and right. So far the action has been to contain the Egyptian Sir Force which

United Nations policy has failed lamentably in the Middle East – the Americans must take some responsibility for this owing to their lack of decision. We have tried to

80th ANNIVERSARY

was Colonel Nasser’s most effective aggressive weapon. It has not been done without giving due warning to the Egyptian personnel in the target areas. People have been very credulous if they have believed the stories of collusion between the British, French and Israeli governments in ‘attacking’ Egypt, and also in the indiscriminate bombing of Egyptian cities. We are justified in taking this action in many ways, to stop a possible war at its outset, to protect our nationals in the area and to safeguard our vital interests upon which our standards of living in this country depend. The British and French governments are hoping that the United Nations, or rather forces representing them, will take over the job of maintaining peace in the Middle East. But without some safeguards the situation will possible be left to deteriorate, even by just the lapse of time before effective action is taken and this would not result in a settlement 80th ANNIVERSARY

and lasting peace Until the United Nations have power to act, as well as talk, to correct a situation at once our government’s responsibilities must be faced and the tasks carried though. The country is naturally perturbed at the gravity of the situation and divided in its opinions. But, it is not divided upon purely party lines, as some Socialists support the government and some Tories do not. It is a pity, therefore, that the Socialists in the House of Commons should have been so irresponsible and hysterical in their denunciation of the Government. They have a responsibility to the country as well as the party in office. They have not come out of the present crisis with enhanced reputation for probity, level-headedness, or much comprehension of the good of the country as a nation; which is the very mildest criticism of them that one can make!

1956

ugger. 2nd. R.F.C - 51 Southern School of Art - 0. As the score indicates, this game could hardly be called Rugger, especially when one remembers the heavy defeats of the 2nd XV last term. The Art School, commencing with only 13 men, had, as was obvious, little experience of the game. One cannot criticise our side, as it was impossible to judge their standard of play, but the kicking for goal was weak early on. Also it is to be deprecated that certain players went out of their way to remove clothing from their opponents. Sending off the field is the only adequate punishment for that offence.’ Vol 7 Issue 7 27/02/1942

HISTORY IN OUTLINE (1953) 1862 Hartley Institute Building in town opened. 1914 Erection of Two Main Block at Highfield, The “Huts” created. 1921 South Stoneham House purchased. 1927 Botanical Laboratories opened. 1929 Highfield Hall built. 1931 Connaught Hall built. 1935 The Library opened by the Duke of York. 1938 The Physics Block. 1940 The West Building. Engineering Lecture Rooms. 1949 Assembly Hall. Institute of Education. 1951 Glen Eyre Hall fully opened. 1952 Chemistry and Zoology Blocks completed.

1960s

Crowded Out 1963 The most notable feature of this Session so far, has been the vast number of people. The expansion of the University towards its provisional maximum number of 1,500 undergraduates has taken a leap forward, and is now well ahead of the slower increase in accommodation. Certain achievements have been made. The new Arts Block is open, and a number of pathetically homeless lecturers have a fixed place of accommodation as a result. H Block in Glen Eyre is completed and even if it is already known as ‘The Tenement’ it does make room in Hall for another 36 students. The refectory has been extended into the old JCR, by the simple expedient of moving several tables in there, although no solution to the queue problem is even on the horizon. We are informed that ‘the Glasshouse’ (the extension to West Building) which has been delayed owing to manufacturer’s delivery problems, will be available by the Spring Term. Perhaps them MonteRussell will be permitted a little space. 12

The plans for the immediate future are ambitious. The Library extension will be started on this year, and plans are going ahead for a new Engineering Block to provide additional space for Aeronautics and Electronics. In the meantime the visit of the UGC leads to speculation on the more distant future, when those of us who are here now will be mere Old Hartleyans. It is felt, in official circles, that the most urgent need is for additional room for the sciences. The University’s requests to the UGC are necessarily, but regrettably, confidential, but we gather that the general policy is to strengthen the present departments, rather than to branch out into the new ones. It is said that the departments most overcrowded are Physics, Chemistry (which badly wants a Junior Laboratory), and Economics. Botany, too, with its expanding research programme, is becoming over-full. The Unions’ needs have been given considerable publicity, the emphasis being on our complete possession of the West

Building. The Great Hall, the absence of which is increasingly felt, is still a dream for the distant future, but there is some hope that the projected new SCR Building may include a combined lecture hall and theatre, which will enable the dramatic societies to move out of the ‘barn’. Finally, we must mention the new Women’s Hall which is to be built on the site of South Hill. This will almost certainly be built during the next quinquennium, thanks to the generosity of a private benefactor. One wonders, however, what will happen to the evicted occupants of the present building during the period of changeover. The problem, perhaps unavoidable in these days of building shortages and delay, is that there will be severe over-crowding for some years while the changes are coming into effect. The difficulties of lecture-room space are already almost insurmountable. What will they be like with another two or three hundred students? We can only say that we are almost thankful we shall not be here to see.

F our M inutes

CHAOTIC OPENING

1962

THE NEW UNION is open at last but it cannot be used

At the most critical point of the Cuban crisis, two reporters ventured out of their fall-out shelters to discover what people would do with their last four minutes. These are the replies received in answer to the question, ‘What would you do if you had four minutes to live’? Male, Sci. Fac.: I wouldn’t believe it for a start. Male, Sci. Fac.: I’d have a damn good try. Male Soc. Sci.: Why do you think I’ve been following this woman about all day! Male, Sci.: Come here and I’ll tell you. Female, Arts “ I’d pray to my God.” Male, Arts : “ I don’t know.”

Male, Eng. Fac. : “ Get pissed, I think.” Male, Eng. Fac.: “ Do a ton on my bike; no - go and cut somebody up good and proper.” Male, Sci.: “ Grab a bottle and a woman - I think.” Male, Soc. Sci.: “ Bloody silly question.” Judy : “Find someone I liked best and die with him.” Female, Arts : “ You couldn’t put that in Wessex News.” Male, Eng. Fac. : “ Go and have some dinner.” Female, Arts : “ Go and listen to some music.” Female, Arts : “ Ring up my parents.” Male, Sci: Meditate Male, Sci.: **** Male, Arts : I’d send a bloody petition.” Male, Eng.: “ That’s my business.” Eddie : “ Ask the barmaid.” Male, Sci. Fac.: “ Straight up to Southill.” Male, Eng. Fac. : Highfield.”

Male, Eng. Fac.: “ If I were in Stoneham, I’d grab the beer and go to the cellar.”

Male, Soc. Sci.: “ That one in blue over there!”

Male, Sci.: “ Whiskey.”

Jim: “ Oh no ! Not me! Not now!”

Martin “ Turn up Charlie Parker on the juke box.’

Which proves that Scientists prefer Southill women to Highfield women, and Engineers don’t. What happened to Chamberlain?

Female, Arts “ I wouldn’t mention what I’d do.” 80th ANNIVERSARY

Colin : “ Carry on I suppose.”

80th ANNIVERSARY

officially for some time, On Monday, 1st October, new offices were occupied. The top floor and basement of the old Union will be closed and under reconstruction by 14th of November. 10th NOVEMBER, 1966 After two to three weeks the top floor will be ready and the ground floor, excepting the bar and refectory, will be closed. The basement is expected to be in the hands of the contractors for about three months. The coffee bat and old offices will be made into music practice rooms and a link corridor from the new Union will emerge into the old Wessex News room. So the Union will be in a degree of chaos for some weeks to come. The facilities in the new building will be opened piecemeal as and when they are ready. The Executive warn that there will be delay in opening the shop, bar and coffee bar. These must wait until suitable staff have been found to run them. Staff were not employed earlier as no one knew exactly when the new building would be handed over to the Union. Mr Hunter, Permanent Secretary, said: ‘When you move into a building that size there are bound to be snags’.

Indeed, the first major snag is that the furnishings have not all arrived. The offices occupies this week are furnished with makeshift desks and tables borrowed from all over the University. They may have to remain for several weeks. As for fittings, the contractors responsible are well behind schedule. The Post Office Telephone authorities are working at present on the Unions twenty-five extension switchboard. A full-time operator has already been employed to work it. Another problem is the shortage of porters. Me Hunter sees the need for a team of six or eight porters, but extra appointments are impossible due to the present financial condition of the Union. At present it takes two porters half and hour to clear the Union of students at closing time. It is a matter for conjecture how long it will take to clear a building more than four times the size.

1960s

RE-AFFILIATED, Southampton University

February 23rd, 1967

Volume 31, No. 9

Fourpence

WIDE SUPPORT FOR BOYCOTT Protest a Success Yesterday’s national day of student protest against the increase in overseas student fees received mass support in Southampton, with over 40% of Union members boycotting lectures and over 500 people joining the quarter mile protest march through the City centre. Keith Kirby, one of the strike organisers, stated, “It is most encouraging to see the rank and file members of this Union uniting over such a vital issue”. Pickets were on most of the buildings, but there were no outbreaks of violence as had been feared by many. Support for the boycott of lectures varied in the departments, with complete from the Social Science Faculty, and a mixed reception in the Engineering and Law Faculties. Engineers cancelled two nine o’clock lectures, and two others were poorly attended, but another which is normally attended by 60% of its class, was attended by an estimated 80%. The Arts Faculty was out in support, but in the Chemistry department normal attendances 14

were general. The Maths department appeared to be mainly in support, while the Physics department had normal attendances. The Library, however, was less crowded than usual for a Wednesday morning, though many protested against the strike by working in the library rather than attending lectures. The whole question of pickets became an issue when Geoff Martin, N.U.S. President, condemned their use. Janet Royle said “It is nothing to do with Martin, as it is not his union that is on strike.” The protest march started in drizzling rain near the Ordnance Survey office

The front of the quarter mile protest march in the London Road. Support was strong despite the rain. in London Road and proceeded through the main shopping centre to Bargate. Several members of the academic staff joined the march and although the protest received no official support from the University many of the lecturers were “sympathetic.” An engineering lecturer however held extra lectures to mark his disapproval. The strike was authorised by the extraordinary meeting of the Union last Thursday when an amendment calling for strike action to be avoided was defeated. Although opposition continued in a diminished form during the early part of the week,

especially with regard to the cancellation of sports fixtures, the strike was organised at the last minute without much difficulty. John Peters, a Law Faculty S.R.C. representative has re-signed in protest over the handling of the strike. Letters were sent by the strike committee to every member of academic staff and the Union which urged for their support, and it was planned to circulate leaflets throughout the city. Adverts were placed in the “Times” and the “Echo” stating the reasons for the strike and attacking the government’s policy.

80th ANNIVERSARY

N.U.S REGAINED

Q uietly and firmly we decided to re-affiliate to

N.U.S. Only 35 people voted against a motion which had been debated in an atmosphere far different from the embittered scenes at the disaffiliation two years ago. Indeed, most of those present seemed doubtful whether the outcome resulted from a change of heart or sheer weariness at the constantly recurring question. Mr Wall, acting, he explained, on his own behalf and not for the External Relations Committee, proposed “that this union re-affiliate to NUS immediately”. He ran though the arguments in favour of the National Union – the work it does for students in the matters concerning grants and welfare, the vacation work bureau, the cheap travel, the debating tournament, the editors’ conference; and destroyed what he presumed was our greatest complaint against NUS – the voting system. By asking for a card vote, he declared the University Unions can make their full weight felt in competition with training colleges and minor institutions.

1969 to us of NUS was a myth. At the twice-yearly meetings an excessive length of time was spent in discussing nonstudent affairs. As for grants, and welfare departments, how much did it in fact achieve? The size and allocation of grants was decided in spheres far beyond the influence of the NUS. In short, we were paying a substantial sum for benefits which were meagre and worth little. As a member of the Union she had personally felt no illeffects since disaffiliation.

Miss Cockburn-Mercer countered by stating that the opposition did not intend to make and issue of the rights and wrongs of the voting system. The value

Mr Michael May was the first to mention the political element which had figured so strongly in previous debates. Agreeing that Communism on the Executive has been suppressed, he claims that this was due to strategy by other political parties. He invoked the spirit of his brother Peter in condemning NUS as a ‘talking shop’. NUS have no weapon to enforce their demands and are ignored by the Ministry of Education. On the question of vacation work he praised the Union’s own vacation work secretary, who had produced excellent results with no official backing. He was answered by Mr Fuchs, who pointed out that any democratic assembly must be a talking shop. NUS were constantly putting pressure on the government by lobbying MPs systematically.

From around Campus:

Caught in Connaught:

May the despicable culprit who relieved the Business Manager of Second Wessex of a very useful pair of gloves from within the sanctuary of the JCR experience the most excruciating torments during the Easter and Summer vacations. Vol 14, Issue 15 07/02/1950

Famous last words: ‘I think I’ll try some porridge’. Thoughts before lunch: ‘They also wait who only stand and serve’. The Duck: ‘When I consider how my night is spent … And half may day in this dark world imbibe … That one spirit which is death inside’ Literary and Dramatic Society: ‘Shakespeare was a rash man, but Bacon was rasher’ En Passant: ‘Lives there a man with soul so dead, Who has never looked around and said, Hmm… Not Bad!’ The Air Squadron: ‘Are said to be getting anxious over what is left of the Ruhr’ Connaught Motto: ‘Water is the best of drinks when taken in the right spirit’ Short Course Farewell: ‘We shall not grow old as they that are left grow old; work shall not weary us nor condemn’

South Hill - that indefinable something that the others haven’t got. ‘South Hill, since it is situated at the top of Glen Eyre Road, is often mistaken by taxi drivers for Glen Eyre. This mistake is plausible if one were to consider the white elephants at present adorning the gates, but one glance at the row of feminine faces usually peering from the windows should soon dispel all errors of this kind’... Christmas Edition 1952 09/12/1952 80th ANNIVERSARY

Vol 10 Issue 1 04/05/1942 15

1970s

1970s good place to take them is the Botley Grange, at Botley on the Portsmouth Road. The surroundings and the food are excellent, as also is the service (unlike the London Steak House). I can guarantee that when you’ve finished you will feel comfortably full. Most importantly, the wine list is very comprehensive. The best hotel in Southampton is the Polygon. The Skyways is not very good at all and, quite apart from the view, their Polynesian bar is quite expensive.

FRESHERS 1970:

PUB AND FOOD GUIDE So you’re fed up with endless queues at the refectory! And you’ve heard rumours of a boycott - not that it surprises you! Where do you go from there? At the end of University Road there is the Stile Watneys Beer, a selection of salads, bread and cheese and hamburgers whileyon-wait all in a friendly atmosphere. If you turn down Burgess Road towards Swaythling, you will find the Crown and Sceptre with the same sort of selection, minus hamburgers. They have been knocking the bar about here, but there is to be a grand re-opening at the beginning of term. Unfortunately the beer is not very good unless you like Strongs or drink Lager (draught Heineken at that!).

Good Nosh

If you’re TT, or you promised mummy that you’d have a good meal every day, just a little 16

further on there is the Bassett Diner, where you can get a refectory type meal upstairs, but with a little more comfort and a little more variety for just a few more pence then you would pay in the Union. Chicken and mushroom pie is to be highly recommended. If you have a car, or a kind friend with one, you obviously have more scope. The ‘White Swan’ on the Portsmouth Road by Mann’s bridge is a Tory habitat, but during summer others have been known to gather there by the river. I don’t know when the tenant is being replaced by a manager, but then there’ll probably be a rise in prices and a decline in quality. Their homemade Shepherd’s pie, and the bread and cheese are favourites.

Unbend Your Bird

Further out, at Burseldon, there is the Jolly Sailor on the River Hamble. Their chicken and chips is reasonable and they also

do ‘Ploughman’s’ with a wide variety of cheeses. If your fresher bird is rather innocent, try unbending her with some of their home-made wines: they are fairly potent. However, try not to go there at low tide as the exposed mud really does pong. Also in Burseldon there’s the Fox and Hounds, with its adjoining home barn. Again Ploughman’s - I recommend the Ayrshire Cream, but it does tend to be too buttery for some. Their salads, see although pricey, contain masses of meat. In a different direction (off the Alton Road) there is the Bush at Ovington, again by a river, but this time the are upper reaches of the Itchen. Their sandwiches are actually food, especially the Pate and the Fresh Salmon. They also do bread and soup and a prawn curry. You may be in town itself and want a snack. Here are some suggestions - if you like Wimpy type meals try the Hacienda: cheaper than Wimpy, and they do a good selection of pancakes

with a variety of sauces. Try to avoid eating in the large department stores, as they tend to be expensive and cook from tins. The exception to this general rule (perhaps) is at Edwin Jones, where the Danish open sandwiches aren’t bad.

Rice-Nice Price

Bad Scene

For a cup of coffee, don’t go to the Mirabelle Coffee Bar - it really is a bad scene. For a more potent drink, try the City Lounge of the Bargate - it tends to be expensive, though, like most pubs in town. If you like cheese and tomato sandwiches,they make good ones at the Park Inn behind Edwin Jones, and you don’t have to drink Strongs as they have Whitbread too. If you want a more substantial lunch there’s always the Celestial Garden, where they so a businessman’s lunch for 6/-, either English or Chinese. However, it is a place to avoid on Friday’s, after all the townsfolk have been paid. For 8/- you can 80th ANNIVERSARY

Somewhere in Hants get the set lunch at either the Curry Centre of the Cherry Blossom in St. Mary’s Road. As I prefer Indian to Chinese meals I can only recommend a meal from the Curry Centre - the best value here is the soup of the day, followed by a meat biriani and rounded off with an apple or banana fritter. If you’re really broke, try a pie from Pliestad’s, opposite the Green Bus station - they have steak and kidney, apple, apricot and blackcurrant pie.

Pouncing Ponces 80th ANNIVERSARY

Now you’ve managed to pick up this really fantastic fresher bird, and all around you can see the green eyes of second and third years just waiting to pounce, how about taking her for a romantic meal at the Bistro in London Road. On arrival you are given sherry on the house - to drink with the meal, the Careffe isn’t too bad and not exorbitant. I would recommend the prawn mayonnaise, steak provencale followed by the cheese board. Their specialities tend to be provencale dishes. If your wonderful fresher

bird isn’t all that special and you would prefer a more solid meal, why not catch a No 4 bus to The Malvern, a pub on the Winchester Road, near Shirley. The pub specialises in grills at not too expensive prices - also the prices include chips and salad with the steaks etc., not to mention the cheese-board afterwards. If you get there early, you can always spend the rest of the evening in the public bar with the friendly locals. If Mummy and Daddy are coming down and offer you a meal out - don’t refuse. A

The Happy Chinese at Ashurst on the New Forest Road is also well known for its good food. It is pricey (and fussy about dress) but to cut costs you can also cut out the trimmings and have just the main course and coffee. The Lobster is recommended here. Last, and as all Southampton students should know, not least, is the Bombay Indian restaurant in Onslow Road. If you;ve never tried Indian curries the thing to start on is either a kurmah, which is very mild, or a biriani. A good medium curry is the beef and mushroom, and the hottest curry is a phall. The waiters are very helpful in telling you anything you are wanting to know. It’s open reasonably late so you can always go after a dance, party or film.

TIMELINE of the UNIVERSITY OF SOUTHAMPTON Henry Robinson Hartley dies – his bequest of £103,000 paved the way for what is now the University of Southampton The Hartley Institution becomes Hartley University College, and now offers Degrees from the University of London

1902

Highfield Campus is finally opened

1919

Connaught Hall built, initially as an all-male halls

Wessex News (now Wessex Scene) launches

University College Southampton becomes the University of Southampton, the first University to be given a royal charter by Queen Elizabeth II

The original Students Union building is completed

1931 1936 1952 1967

Avenue Campus opens as the University’s humanities campus (originally a new building was to be placed in the car park near Building 45 – the one that’s really far away – but this did not happen)

1993

Wessex News becomes Wessex Scene

1996

Jubilee Sports Centre opens

The University’s Malaysian Campus opens

Wessex Scene turns 80!

1850

2004 2011 2016 80th ANNIVERSARY

80th ANNIVERSARY

1862

Hartley Institution is formed in the city centre

1914

Relocation to what is now Highfield campus; re-named to Southampton University College. Was used as a war hospital during WW1

1929

Highfield Hall built

1935

Our first library opens, at what is now the Turner Sims concert hall

1949

Glen Eyre Halls are first opened

1964

Nuffield Theatre Opens

1973

Led Zeppelin play at the University of Southampton

1995

The National Oceanography Centre Opens, one of the largest centres of its kind in the world

2002

The New Students Union is completed; the University turns 50

2005

Fire destroys the former Computer Science centre; the Mountbatten building opens in 2008 replacing it

2015

Boldrewood Campus opens

1970S

LED ZEPPELIN

AT THE UNIVERSITY OF SOUTHAMPTON

NIGHTLINE

1973

1972 NIGHTLINE Approximately 18 months ago a group of people got together to talk about the possibility of starting some form of 24-hour emergency and information service. This would be run on an informal basis by young people of both the town and University. What would be needed was an office, a telephone, a list of volunteers and a list of professional contacts who could act as a back-up service. The primary concern was that there were a large number of ‘drugs’ and related social ‘problems’ that the formal social services were and are totally inadequate in facing. Over the past year in the office at the rear of 51 University Road we have built up a service approximating to this outline, except that the majority of out work is not drugs-orientated and comes from the Town rather than the Campus. This may make us sound like junior Samaritans but most of us feel that there are very real differences. We have attempted to get away from the idea that there are two different types of people - us that are normal and a further small group who are and have ‘problems’ 20

- and we, being good charitable souls, have a duty to help these poor unfortunates who cannot adjust. We try and recognise that in one way or another we are all in the same position - that is, at certain times, we have felt lonely, inadequate or just unable to cope with certain situations. Most people, especially students, find that small informal meetings where experiences and relevant information is discussed are the most attractive form of communication. We try to collect as much information as possible on contemporary social ‘problems’ such as drugs and homelessness, and, whenever possible, talk with with other people who have both experienced and ‘treated’ these ‘problems’. When people come along to us with a ‘problem’ the ONLY effective action we can take is make them aware of the various alternatives open to them by virtue of the information we have collected and the experience of human relationships we have had. In this way anybody who still feels that people are like machines and can be adjusted to run properly is

very much deluded and the sort of person whom we should like to bring round to our way of thinking. Perhaps the most valuable, and certainly the most difficult part of the process of communication is the establishment of genuine human relationships with people who have, for a long time, been taught by society, and therefore regard themselves as being inferior or inadequate. The establishment of relationships is difficult at any time and in any place but it is only through them that we begin to see ourselves that we can begin to see other people. If you have an interest in any of the fields that have been touched on in this article, then we shall be delighted to see you; more especially if, coupled with a desire to understand yourself better, you also have a desire to do something about some of the more blatant social injustices that we see around us. There is much more to Nightline than this article can point out and anyone who would like to know more about us is very welcome to call in any day after 6.00pm at the rear of 51, University Road for a chat’.

80th ANNIVERSARY

For two days, Southampton was blessed with the presence of the world’s top rock band. On the first, it was the turn of the town, with Led Zeppelin blowing the minds of 2500 fans at the Gaumont. But the next day, our heroes came to the Union, and played to us in the Black Hole of Calcutta, or Old Ref. as it is sometimes known. The Gaumont concert had been pretty tight, but not as good as I would have expected from a band that had been on the road for the past two months. But all my doubts were dispelled the next day. I don’t know if it was the atmosphere, or just being right at the front of the audience, but the Old Ref. concert was just fantastic. There’s no other word for it. They enjoyed it, and we enjoyed it, and that’s what matters. As usual, they were a bit slow to warm up - in fact ‘Rock n Roll’, their opening number, was very rough, and the next, ‘Over the Hills and Far Away’, a track from Houses of the Holy, wasn’t much better either. ‘Black Dog’ followed, and the audience joined in instantly on the ah-ah-aaah chorus. LZ were beginning to cook. ‘Misty Mountain Hop’ and ‘Since I’ve Been 80th ANNIVERSARY

Loving You’ came next, giving John Paul Jones a chance to show us his dexterity on the keyboards. On ‘Loving You’, Jimmy Page gave us his first solo: very fast one second, and slow the next, getting everything out of each note. Just to watch him moving his fingers up and down the fretboard made me very envious - he must have some natural gift. ‘Dancing Days’ and ‘The Song Remains The Same’ were next, the first, a straight rocker very much in the LZ style, and the second, a longish complex number starting and finishing with some low tempo-melodic guitar playing, and connected with a heavy rocking bit and a superb organ solo from John Paul Jones. The next number Robert Plant dedicated to the manager of the Gaumont - ‘Dazed and Confused’. This, a track from their first album, was used as a showpiece for Page’s long guitar solo. For part of this he used a big bow, and the highlight was when he hit the strings and got the note to echo back to him. When he’d been playing for about 10 minutes, the rest of the band joined in and stretched the number out to about 25 minutes.

Next was a beam of clear, white light, as Plant called it, ‘Stairway To Heaven’. Plant’s vocals came through beautifully, the song gradually rising to the peak of that superb rocking ending. That got everybody on their feet, and shouting for every LZ number under the sun. But Plant asked everybody to shut up for a moment, while he told them about his visit to the toilet. On the bog wall, he saw this name - Alan Whitehead - and this next number was dedicated to him. It was ‘Whole Lotta Love’. The band went into a number of old rock and roll tunes, then ‘I Can’t Quit You Babe’, and back to ‘Whole Lotta Love’ for a tremendous climax to the show. A few minutes clapping, and they were back to give us ‘Heartbreaker’, and then ‘Thank You’, featuring John Paul Jones with a long organ intro, and back for a third time. Plant said how much they’d enjoyed the gig, and then they proceeded to play ‘How Many More Times’, the first time they’d done it for two and a half years. But you’d never have known it, it was so tight. Straight into ‘Communication Breakdown’, and then it was all over. See you again, they said, and a very knackered goodnight. 21

FOOTBALL CLUB EXPOSED UNIVERSITY ACCUSED

HANDS OFF OUR MONEY

If new proposals are effective, the University will be dipping into Student Union money in order to finance its own over-spending. Why should we suffer in the aftermath of misguided budgeting on their part? The new progress report from Budgets and Developments on the cuts spells disaster for the student union if proposed decreases in our funds are implemented; a £43,000 drop next academic year and £52,000 the following year. These cuts are particularly savage in light of the actual proposed decrease in the grant from the University Grants Committee of 1.3% and 1.4% for the next two years. The reason? The University, in common with many others has been pursuing a policy of overspending up until this year in a deliberate attempt to run down its reserves following a UGC directive. Now the university finds itself having to cope with unprecedented grant cutbacks, and hopes to pass on its budgeting follies to the student union, and keep for itself money allocated for student union funds. CRISIS The student union is in a less favourable position than with the last report and it is essential 22

that students prepare themselves for opposition. Jon Sopel hopes for support: “if we have to take direct action on this issue, we would expect a measure of support from other unions. In the last campaign, we took the lead on these issues. Now we are in a position of crisis”. “It is crucial that we gain the support of the other campus unions in what, at the beginning of this term, has become our struggle, and, like last term, we will pledge ours”. He felt that the students union was going through a particularly dangerous time, when its present capacities were severely threatened. “I want to leave the students union with a future that should be secure”. “It is the responsibility of a Union Officer to defend Students interests.. it is time to look after the student union budget”. Mr. Sopel has no intention of neglecting the issues that are important to other groups, but it is only the students’ union that is directly threatened in the report. Other selective cuts are still in the formative decision stages. At the moment, our percentage of the University’s grant stands at 1.56% - and it is this that we want to retain when this time of education decimation is over. Without a fixed ‘baseline’ there can be no forward budgeting within the

Union, no guarantee that sports, education and welfare clubs and societies, and events will continue. This is the situation that the union is hoping to avoid. Whilst accepting that the University is going through a period of financial difficulty, there is no reason for us to take the full brunt of the effects, when the student union itself has kept within its budget year after year, and not cut into its own reserves. If we do have to take cuts, then they should be in line with the level of drop in income that the University faces; not in line with the level of overspending that the university has foolishly undertaken. We must have the guarantee of a baseline percentage of the UGC grant, which is after all allocated to us and would be supplied if we still operated within the old local authority system of student union funding. SELF-DEFENCE It is up to students to defend themselves against the University’s onslaught - to see that other students enjoy the advantages that we have had. The differential cuts between departments are to be discussed in the 6th and 7th weeks of term; redundancies in the summer term. Ours is the most immediate issue. 80th ANNIVERSARY

Wednesday 24th October saw another in a long line of misdemeanours by the Southampton University Football Club. In unusually “high spirits” they gatecrashed the Ballroom Dancing Society class from the Wessex Bar. Obviously having had a good time at the class the previous week, the Football club tried the same tactics the following week. On Wednesday 31st October they again gained entry to the Ballroom from the Wessex Bar on several occasions, with porters and security men being called to eject them. Behaving in a manner which can only be described as rude and objectionable, the members of the Football Club made gestures through the glass doors, eventually dropping their trousers and mooning at the worried waltzers. Problems also occurred in the Wessex Bar when the Footballers tipped beer over the seats in the newly decorated bar. It was noted that the seats were not dry 12 hours after the incident. Complaints have been received by the President from both the Ballroom Dancing Society and the Bar Manager who are demanding apologies. The matter is currently being brought to the attention of the Football Club. Union President Dave Taylor-Smith is reserving judgement until the Football Club has had a chance to comment. 80th ANNIVERSARY

1980s

GUTTER PRESS THROUGHOUT THE LATE 80 S Those who feel that scientists are above the antics of the rest of their peers can lay their illusions aside; the repulsive behaviour of Stuart Noakes, final year chemist, affectionally known as ‘Fat Bastard’ surely ends their dreams forever. Returning from a heavy ‘sesh’, he proceeded to disturb the female members of his household with distinctly suspicious intentions. The irate victims of this lasciviousness were fobbed off with distinctly dubious excuses – Stu claimed to be searching for both a fridge and his own bed in their rooms. Having been frustrated in this pursuit he took out his disappointment on a male friends’ food box by urinating in it. No-one ever said romance was easy.

Poor old Eddy Grant, back again in the Gutter Press. This time he can thank a leading Socialist for giving us the gossip. Apparently Eddy disgraced himself at last term’s TRG pub crawl. Having had his drinks spiked by TRG pranksters, he ended up with an

enthusiastic SUCUA bimbo being pointed in his direction. One thing , as usual, led to another. Eddy then left the pub with the buxom bimbo at his side and was not seen again until three in the morning , throwing up outside the girl’s room at Chamberlain. Sadly we can’t bring you full pictorial coverage of the momentous evet. The photo of Eddy in all his glory has not reached our eager hands. Ah well, better luck next time.

A first-year lawyer in Monte narrowly escaped being banned from his hall bar after being branded a ‘sex-monster’ by the Monte JCR. Robert Webster, normally a mild-mannered type, let his steamy Mt Hyde character get the better of him after a bout of heavy drinking at the bar. After being carried to his bed by concerned friends, he got up again a few minutes later and went on the rampage around Monte. He bumped into two unfortunate girls and dropped his trousers and

underwear. The girls didn’t see the funny side and ran, screaming for help. The next thing Mr Webster knew was that he had been summoned to appear before the JCR disciplinary committee.

Vicious rumours are flying around about the ‘Midsummer Ball’, the organisers of which have been sitting outside the WN office for the last few days, even having the nerve to park a flash red Lotus right under our window. As rumour has it, Ocean Village, the venue for the ball, know nothing about it and the Lotus is part of a national lottery. G.P. would like to confirm however, that these stories are completely false and without any substance. So who were the slimy scandalmongers? Fingers have been pointed at certain members of the Grad Ball Committee, possibly because their ball, which doesn’t have a flashy red Lotus up for grabs, just happens to be on the same night… 23

1980S

1990S

S.U.S.U

GRADUATION BALLS-UP!

A storm is brewing over the official Graduation Ball following the introduction of a competing ‘Midsummer Ball’ ...on the same night. There is £30,000 of Union money involved in the traditional event, which offers 1,200 tickets at £26 and £16. However, a full week before these tickets went on sale, the competition had sold half of their stock of 1,500. The organisers of the Midsummer Ball claim that they have encountered resistance from within the Union. Not only have they been banned from selling within the Union until official tickets go on sale, they have also encountered anonymous rumours about the likely success of the event; these claims are that the lottery of a £42000 Lotus is illegal, that they have not been granted an extended bar license and that they have not been granted an extended bar license and that the police are unhappy with the arrangements. One of the organisers, Kevin Beck, showed me the relevant papers, and denies that the police had been anything but helpful. The alternative Ball, organised through the Unionaffiliated Surf Club, were selling tickets outside the Union building for a week before their competitors sold theirs, Initial problems came because the Club had their account frozen by GPC over an £18 overdraft. Later however, they were repeatedly stopped from using the Union building for dales or publicity purposes. Speaking to Wessex News, Gary Middleditch (a member of the Grad Ball committee) said that ‘The staff at our venue, the Guildhall, don’t believe that they could achieve 24

a late license without the back-up of an organisation like the Union or references like the Vice-Chancellor. The Midsummer event is organised by outside interests’. However, a visit to the Magistrates Court did confirm that the license has been granted. Although Peter Evans, an Exeter graduate, is acting as advisor to this event, Kevin Beck pointed out that excess profits were being divided between the Surf Club and Westfield School for the Mentally and Physically handicapped.

Wednesday March 11 1992

LONDON-SOUTHAMPTON RELAY Runner

Distance (miles)

Time (mins)

(secs)

1. BURNETT

10 1/2

P. HOLDSTOCK

10 1/2

J. SCOTT

2 1/2

W. HARTILL

2 1/2

4 3/4

P. RAYNER

3 3/4

M.HYMAN

D. WISEMAN

D. FELTON

3 3/4

J. FOXWELL

K. GREENLEAVES

C. HALL J. EDGELER 1. MITCHELL

On the likely success of the two events, Middleditch said ‘They can both work, if graduates choose our event and first and second years go to the other’. However, for both to succeed nearly half of the undergraduate population would have to attend.

R. DODD

2 1/4

M. SMITH

2 1/4

J. BINDER

2 1/4

The official Union line on the Midsummer ban was that it would prevent confusion with the mainstream Ball. Both groups of organisers claim to be happy to let their events stand on their own merits… may the student decide!

B. KENYON

2 1/4

2 3/4

M. HYMAN

5 3/4

As we go to press, tickets for both tickets are selling well.

P. HOLDSTOCK

4 1/2

80th ANNIVERSARY

D. STEWART

1. BURNETT

80th ANNIVERSARY

25p where sold

Hall Drugs Raid Student Threatened with Legal Action

Four students have been forced to leave Glen Eyre Hall after police found amounts of cannabis in each of their rooms. U n i f o r m e d officers were let into one of the rooms by subwarden Peter Glenser on February 22, the night of the Glen Beer Festival. Six students were found smoking cannabis and taken to Portswood police station. The wardens of Glen had been aware of a drugs problem for some time, and Glen JCR had provided all students with leaflets to warn of the possible legal consequences if caught in possession during their stay at Glen. The 6 arrested students were detained in individual cells from 12.30am until between 4am and 6am on Sunday February 23. They were taken back to Glen without having been questioned, and had their

rooms searched. The students were then taken back to their cells to await questioning during the afternoon. Small amounts of cannabis were found in 4 of the 6 rooms, and one room contained a sufficient amount of the drug for criminal charges to be brought against the student. The 4 students whose rooms were found to contain drugs had their Glen residency revoked, and so were forced to find other accommodation immediately. At the time of going to press, ViceChancellor Sir Gordon Higginson is withholding a decision regarding disciplinary action. Portswood police are refusing to comment until legal proceedings have taken place.

1990s

2000s

The Shawshank Redemption 1994

This film is based on a short story by horror writer Stephen King, but despite this there is not a single scary moment in the film, at least of the sort horror fans expect. The film documents the life of a prisoner at Shawshank State Prison, one Andy Dufresne (Tim Robbins) through the eyes of fellow convict and friend (Morgan Freeman). Andy was convicted of the murder of his wife and lover in the late 1940’s, a crime nowadays that may only get a 10 year sentence, but then got

him two life sentences back to back. Like everyone else in the prison he maintains his innocence. Whether this is the case or not I’ll not say. The film follows the trials of his prison life for some 20 years, showing both the high points and the low points, and giving some excellent letter-writing advice. It is a difficult film to categorize; it’s not action or thriller, instead the only label I can think of it is good. Robbins puts in a good performance as the former banker who seems at times to be

doing exactly the same thing he would have been doing outside of prison, but I think Freeman provides the better performance, who is the jail’s chief scrounger - you want it, he can get it! This is a long film at 2hrs 20mins, but unlike other films of similar length, you don’t have the urge to look at your watch until the final credits, and then you realise it was a very good way to spend 2 1/2 hours.

Southampton Students Exposed to Great Fire Risk Everyday 1998

Warwick Payne Investigations into the widespread usage of asbestos throughout Southampton University has led to the discovery of several serious fire risks. While asbestos itself is fire-proof, it is never the less a considerable fire risk. When a building containing asbestos catches fire, the resulting structural damage can often expose the damaged asbestos to the local atmosphere leading to fatal asbestos exposure for anyone trapped in the blaze and severe breathing problems for those in the local area.

In addition to fire risks on the main campus, students often face potentially fatal fire risks in crowded bars, music concerts and dangerous filled night clubs. Student’s Union President, Matt Mowlem declares that: My overall impression is that clubs outside the University let in more students than is legally safe. He also expressed concern over fire exits. The Southampton University buildings themselves pose no obvious fire risk as the SUSU closely follows its City Council fire limit quota, but maintains this should not lead to complacency.

Southampton University advises all students should be aware of potential fire hazards at all times. On average, fire kills more people while studying at British Universities than flu and meningitis added together. Students cannot neglect that in crowded bars and nightclubs and when dealing with fire and heating equipment (both research and domestic), they are exposing themselves to serious injury. If they do not take precautions to avoid accidents with fire and make sure they are always aware of fire exits when socialising, they could quite literally be placing their lives on the line.

80th ANNIVERSARY

22/11/2001

750th Issue Spectacular:

State of the Union With a 3-storey glass wall, a cinema, two new bars and a nightclub, the Union is overseeing what promises to be the most radical change in union history following its conception. However the best thing about the new plans, according to the Union Secretary Phil Williams, is how accessible it will be. A staircase, without frustrating twists and turns, will lead you past the coffee bar, the cinema, night club and onward towards the new bar. ‘The whole point is to try and improve the circulation around the building’, said John Bulford, of the University’s Estates and Buildings. ‘It’s always been a building that people get lost in very easily... this will allow people to see right through the building’. The Union Bar and Coffee Bar have been refurbished in a ‘funky modern’ style, ‘a lot like IKEA’. However, all this will apparently be foreshadowed by more radical changes which have just started albeit slightly later than planned. Although these refurbishments were not to everyone’s taste, the union’s VP Communications said that ‘I am certain that we can make them [the cinema, night club and bars] into really pleasant places to be’. The Union had to seek additional funds earlier this month when the electrical work came in £300,000 over budget. The Union Presidents Stephen Edwards managed to acquire the additional funding necessary from the university. The £5.1 million pound question, according 80th ANNIVERSARY

to a union source is whether the refurbishments will be completed on time - rumours are abound that they won’t. The building works are currently around 6 weeks late, taking up the entire margin of safety built into the planning period. We hope they will be completed and clearly they must, since the extra revenues are a critical source of finance for the project. The first stage of the building work will see the conversion of the debating chamber into a cinema and multi-purpose events venue with two bars. A new eating/drinking area will be created, with many other parts of the Union being refurbished. The VP Communications said that ‘The outcome will be better facilities and new services, making it easier to access the building and enabling it to cater more effectively for students’. A new outdoor courtyard area will also be created in what is currently ‘dead space’ in the middle of the building. ‘It seems as if the building’s original architects had a grand scheme for a

further development phase. What is now being proposed will enable the space in the Union to be rationalized’. Work on the building, which is now 36 years old, began this summer and to continue in stage until its completion in 2001. The building will continue to function throughout the construction period, although parts of it will be out of action. Since the Sports Hall and the Ballroom are important locations for assessments during the exam period, the contractors will stop work during these times. The construction of a new sport complex is also scheduled to begin this year, with completion expected at the end of 2003 (which was put several months behind due to the discovery of newts, badgers and voles). The new complex, which will include a swimming pool, sports hall and gym, will be located south of the Union building on University Road.

Southampton United 2005 As the frolics of Freshers’ Week begin to subside, the minds of many students are still not at ease, with the accommodation fiasco continuing to hit students hard. As reported in the last edition, thousands of students were faced with chaos during their first days at university, with hundreds forced into accommodation that they had not applied for. While many students who were assigned twin rooms upon the loss of application details have since been moved elsewhere, Wessex Scene can report that some students are still being forced to live in hotels, paying for the cost of this huge expense themselves. The biggest problems of all, however, arose with Unite hails of residence, based at Charlotte Place. It was here that hundreds of students were thrown into turmoil before their university careers had even begun. Not only were the students confronted with halls that they had not requested despite early application, but they were forced to pay up-front the full first semester rent of approximately £1400. They were then asked to pay a substantial deposit on top of this. Thankfully, the chaos surrounding this crisis 28

was greatly reduced by the effective and industrious work of Southampton University Students’ Union. With representatives at the halls, it was the Students’ Union that saved hundreds of students the panic of having to scrape together the funds to secure their accommodation. The initial demand for the first term’s rent up-front was retracted. The fees were then automatically shifted onto the students’ university debts, with the hope that all debts would be paid off when loans came through. However, there were many understandably unsettled students who had quickly become disillusioned with all the false promised that they had been made. Despite guarantees of internet access for all, internet access was not provided for students. And further controversy arose over the rent for the halls - many students had been informed by Unite that rent was £70 per week, yet upon moving in were charged £89 per week. The Union managed to resolve some of these horrendous problems for students. While many areas of the compensation package are yet to be finalised, the Union has

managed to obtain free internet access for all students based in Unite hall, and those students that applied for their accommodation before the cut-off date but whose information was lost are entitled to a full refund of their deposits. President of the Students’ Union, Andy Wilson, who was a central figure in the negotiation process in between students and the University, has defended the students’ rights throughout this messy case. He told Wessex Scene that ‘Hopefully students at Unite accommodation can put this whole sorry saga behind them. Thankfully the University has been frank about its shortcomings and offered to recompense the students that have been affects. The Students’ Union and academic schools do a lot of hard work to promote Southampton to prospective students. It is a shame that this has been completely negated by the mis-handling of the allocation process by a department within the University’s Professional Services. I hope that lessons have been learnt from this year and that this situation will never occur again’.

UNIVERSITY REPORTS CAMPUS CRIME TO LOCAL ESTATES TO IMPROVE UCAS PERCEPTIONS In an email leaked exclusively to the WESSEX SCENE it has been revealed that the University has been reporting crimes in other districts of Southampton to avoid a reputation of crime that could result in a lowering of admissions. Reports centred around incidents on or around University property adjoining Burgess Road. These reports were apparently filed as occurring in the infamous Flowers Estate. This means that, at a cursory glance, the University appears safer than it currently is. If you are a student still struggling with accommodation issues, or find yourself in financial hardship, the Wessex Scene advises you to contact Roger Mallett, Director of Business and Community Services. While confusion remains surrounding the crisis, the dust appears to be slowly beginning to settle. It is hoped that all accommodation problems will have been fully resolved within six to eight weeks.

SOUTHAMPTON BURNS

Just after 6:30am on the morning of Sunday 30th October, Highfield Campus was awoken by the shrill of emergency vehicles, as firefighters rushed to the scene of a blaze at the Mountbatten building. Upon arrival, with the four-storey building alight, the sheer scale of this task soon became apparent. More than 100 firefighters from stations in and around Southampton were called out to help tackle the blaze. Though the response from the emergency services was swift, efforts to tackle the fire were hampered by the explosion of pressurised gas canisters housed within the building. This allowed the flames to take hold, and the efforts of firemen soon became engaged in containing the fire’s spread. It took until midday to finally be brought under control. Students at the Glen Eyre Halls complex and in the surrounding area were urged to stay inside and keep their windows closed, as a 100ft plume of black smoke billowed towards them, carried by the prevailing winds. The building, which housed the Electronics and Computer Science Department, an internationally recognised

state-of-the-art facility, was completely destroyed and the damage has been estimated at £50 million. The University has pledged to rebuild the site, but it could take years before such plans are realised. The cause of the fire is still under investigation, although it is not thought to be suspicious. The destruction of the Mountbatten Building, which opened in 1991, has raised many questions about the future of the Optoelectronics Research Centre (ORC) and the School of Electronics and Computer Science (ECS), fuelled by anecdotes of the situation at Edinburgh University in 2002. The University’s Crisis Management Team, comprised mainly of senior staff and heads of the affected departments, is meeting to resolve short and long-term issues which the fire has presented particularly in relocating staff so that their work can continue, and The University has promised that no one will lose their job as a result of the fire but staff may be relocated elsewhere. However, research has been worst affected and although local companies and nearby universities have offered support, this may not keep staff, post-graduates and post-doctorates

here. Southampton is a research University and its academics are here for that purpose. With fewer facilities, it is possible that they may be tempted elsewhere. Post-graduate students, many of whom may have lost their life’s work, could simply end up throwing in the towel. Some students that the Wessex Scene have spoken to were distraught at having wasted ‘two years of [their] life’. However, the University has pledged that research students who take longer to complete their programme will not be charged extra fees and can recover their additional living costs. Whilst undergraduates haven’t been directly affected by the loss of facilities, the possible staffing vacuum that could ensue is more worrying. Coupling fewer academics to teach courses with

fewer post-docs and postgraduates, and the viability of some courses could be called into question. With years of change and upheval on the horizon, the long-term future of the affected departments seem uncertain, but the ViceChancellor, Professor Bill Wakeham, is remaining upbeat: ‘To those of you who have lost valuable work in the fire, I offer my sympathies and my pledge that the University will make every endeavour to support you personally and in continuing your work; and to minimise as much as possible the impact on current research and teaching. ‘We have lost a world-class research facility but we are all committed to rebuilding and out of these sad events will emerge something bigger and better.

www.wessexscene.co.uk 80th ANNIVERSARY

80th ANNIVERSARY

2000s

2000s features

scene

Overheard in Soton A student demonstrating incomparable historical knowledge: ‘If America ever started anything, yeah, we could always count on our old allies - you know like the old British Empire - China, Russia...’ Two guys walking past a sign that says ‘Santa and his real reindeer next left’. ‘That’s rubbish! Only one reindeer?’

Late night library love Sex scandal amongst a series of incidents to threaten extended opening hours

The aftermath of two students having sex in the toilets topped the list of disturbances that have blighted the Hartley Library’s late night opening hours. The remnants of the romping pair’s activity was discovered not long after the event in a routine security check by Library staff, but having fled from the scene the couple could not be held accountable for their explicit actions. One explanation for this be-haviour might be that the students were trying to warm up, as the Library is too cold; a complaint about the temperature was raised at Union Council, and a Facebook group, ‘Hartley Library is TOO BLOODY COLD’, has gained over 30 members in the last week.

In the queue for Sobar, a guy just couldn’t be bothThe news of this promiscuous ered to line up... Guy - lets just go to Jesters Sobar Bouncer But all the hot girls are in here! Guy - Yeah but all the easy ones are in there!

activity comes as a national survey by Hotxt.co.uk revealed that people from Southampton are the biggest text flirts in the country. Concerns have been raised about late night behaviour in the Library, with instances of drunken students wandering in and causing noise and nuisance, and an abundance of left-over food packaging

Local Legends - Tariq

2008

George Bergel and Tom Watson caught up with Tariq Rahmankhan of Manzils fame to talk about notorious sports teams, memorable moments and his favourite curry. Hi Tariq, thanks for talking to us. How long have you been working at Manzils? About 13 years or so. Before then I worked in Dubai selling garments and working in the catering industry.

and drinks bottles. Briony Thomson, Reception and Learning Centre Manager at the Hartley Library, told the Wessex Scene: “We do not allow food and drink into the Library because it damages valuable resources, and distracts from study... There was also an incident [during the last exam period] whereby some of the sinks were blocked and the taps left running, which we put down to ‘high jinks’ as it was towards the end of the exams... We ask that students support this initiative by not abusing the Library or breaching the rules.”

To support students during the forthcoming exam period, the Hartley Library will be open until 2am every day from the evening of Monday January 15 until the morning of Friday February 2. Normal Library rules apply during the extended opening, including no food, drink (other than water) or smoking. Mobile phones must be switched to off or silent. Although we understand that how stressful the exam period can be for students, the Wessex Scene does not recommend having sex in the Library as an effective means of relaxation or procrastination. 80th ANNIVERSARY

Manzils is very well known amongst the student population, achieving near mythical status. You have also been recently named in the top 10 curry I houses in the UK by the Guardian — what do you attribute this success to? We try to make sure everyone enjoys their meal, looking after all of our customers. We aim to provide the best quality food at reasonable prices, because we know students don’t have much money. What’s it like Southampton?

working

My father used to be based in Southampton when he was in the Royal Navy in the Second World War, so I have strong ties with the area, over 50 years of family history. It’s a friendly, lively community, a great town to live in. Often sports teams visit Manzils 80th ANNIVERSARY

Manzils legend, Tariq Rahmankhan. (He loves a good Lamb Vindaloo too!) on socials or after Jesters. Are you a sportsman yourself? We love having the sports teams come into Manzils, it’s always a great atmosphere. I used to play football myself, and a bit of cricket. Now I’m also a big fan of rugby, and I support the local Indian teams as well as the University sports teams of course! We are proud to have the sports teams visit Manzils, as it shows how good the atmosphere is. Stories of a big night out frequently involve odd events in Manzils - what’s the most bizarre thing you’ve seen in your time working here? One day about 7 years ago I was in the restaurant on my own, and at about 1:30 in the morning 20 students came in, the Men and

Women’s cricket teams. I went into the kitchen, and when I came back they were all naked! I was very embarrassed, especially for the girls but it quickly became very funny. Everyone had a great time, and they left one by one, still naked, and got stopped by the police outside. The police came in to question me, and asked me if they were allowed to be in our restaurant naked, and I had apologise. What is your personal favourite curry? I love Lamb Vindaloo - I like my curries very spicy, and Vindaloo is very hot, but also has a great flavour. I would recommend for you the Chicken Bhuna. a nice medium dish that everyone can enjoy. We make it for both the Indian and English markets. 31

2010s

SIX DEGREES OF SEX-ARATION S

leeping with Megan Fox or Johnny Depp may seem like somewhat of a pipe dream, but a mathematical model could help you make the audacious claim that you’ve had carnal relations with some of the world’s hottest stars - indirectly, at least. The theory is based on the ideas of six degrees of separation, the idea that everyone on the planet is connected to someone else through six simple steps; that everyone on Earth knows someone, who knows someone, who knows someone, who knows someone, who knows someone, who knows you. According to scientists, it’s extremely hard to disprove. Now consider sex in this situation. Everyone knows their magic number (we would like to think anyway), but do you know your previous partners’ magic number too? And the amount of people that their previous partners had slept with before them? And of those people, the amount of people that they too may have slept with? Overall, the amount of people you have risked catching a sexually transmitted infection from is significantly higher than you would expect. For instance, the average Brit has indirectly slept with more than two million people. That’s a lot of people, but remember: Depp or Fox may be one of them, so that should soften the blow slightly. Of those people, do you wonder who you may have indirectly have slept with? There are around 32

25,000 students at Southampton University, so we set about tracking this theory and went out and asked students all about it. We took two random students who have never met, have no Facebook friends in common (because that is the way you measure these things today) and have never heard of each other, and traced their six degrees of separation through previous sexual partners. It took a lot of research, gossip and several attempts, but here we go... We should also like to mention that all names have been changed. Elle is a second-year languages student and has had four previous sexual partners: a long-term boyfriend, a friend with benefits and two one night stands. She told us that she knew her ex -boyfriend had 12 different sexual partners; including one girl who ‘I know has slept with over 20 people’. Her educated guess at the combined number of people all previous partners had was 55. She was unsure how many people those people had slept with, but we decided not to calculate anyway because she was already feeling a bit faint at 55. Oscar and Elle were ‘friends with benefits’ for a couple of months earlier this year. Second-year Oceanography student Oscar told us he had had two previous girlfriends, and, other than these and Elle, had not slept with anyone else. We thought that he was lying. Especially

because his housemate then told us he had drunkenly had sex with her last month. She guesses his amount of previous sexual partners is around 40+. Both of them said they had no idea at the amount of people the people he had slept with had slept with. His housemate, Kerry, told us that sleeping with Oscar was a ‘drunken mistake’ and that she had only ever slept with two people, him and her ex boyfriend. She said that she has always used protection, but that she doesn’t think Oscar has always been that careful through things that he was mentioned before. Kerry is a first-year English student who started a relationship with a fellow course mate earlier this year after ‘feeling a bit lost not being in Halls and living with third years’. She lost her virginity to him but they were only together for three months because she found out he was cheating on her.

Number of people actually slept with Number of people indirectly slept with*

7,417

36,554

64,969

93,373

194,336

286,996

457,438

851,893

2,286,634

Her ex-boyfriend Luke (the cheater, “booo, hiss’) was sleeping with his flatmate Alicia throughout their short relationship. The firstyear Humanities students both said that they were virgins when they started at Southampton this year. Luke said that he had slept with two girls before Kerry and Alicia, but he was unsure how many people they’d slept with.

had not had sex with anyone else. Alicia and Mo are still friends now. He told us that he had slept with ‘eight different girls, but six of them were relationships’. He added, ‘I am unsure who they had previously had sex with, but I think they were all relatively low numbers, except one’. Mo tells us that he found out one of his ex girlfriends, Felicity, had slept with over 20 people in a game of ‘Never Have I Ever’. He got himself checked out pretty soon after. We didn’t tell him that we had found out that she had also slept with Oscar...

Alicia said that she had had sex with a fourth year Medicine student, Mo, in Freshers’ Week and that she

We wanted to arrange for Elle and Felicity to meet. Felicity is a fourth-year Medicine student

80th ANNIVERSARY

and had never heard of Elle. But we realised that would he very awkward, and apparently quite inappropriate. Instead, we told Elle the story about how she has indirectly slept with Felicity and how does she feel? Elle didn’t really say much that was quotable, and just screamed, gasped and flapped her arms around a lot whilst slowly turning an interesting shade of a colour that simultaneously seemed both red and blue. She did say, however, that ‘people better read your article! And better get themselves checked out because of me!’ So, readers, this is where we insert the typical safe sex line. If you have always been careful that is great, but I only

unfortunately not everyone else you have slept with may have been, and as well as indirectly sleeping with Johnny Depp, you may have also indirectly slept with someone a little more untoward, with something even more untoward going on down there. So be sure to check out your nearest Sexual Health Clinic, and in the meantime, we leave you with this: next time you’re day-dreaming in Hartley library about that guy or girl sitting opposite you, bear in mind that you may have already slept with them - sort of. And also, we do not recommend playing ‘Never Have I Ever’ with your Ex.

Bill Gates Grants University £370,000 to Fund Medical Research

2010S

Bill Gates, the wealthiest man in the world, and his wife Melinda, have granted £370,000 to scientists at the University of Southampton to research disease investments.

2012 Southampton University’s Student Magazine

GAY COUPLE ACCEPTS MAJOR RESPONSIBILITY FOR eVERY MAJOR DISASTER OF THE LAST 50 YEARS

ollowing the destruction caused by Hurricane Sandy, a homosexual couple in Suffolk have stepped forward to take responsibility for the event and countless others before it. Chris Green, 43, approached the media after US preacher John McTernan suggested that the hurricane was a direct result of acceptance of gay marriage and confirmed that it was in fact correct that the actions of himself and his partner, Phil Stevens, were to blame. “There was no use pretending any more. Phil and I making love has been the cause of every major disaster of recent years. Hurricane Sandy, Katrina, the Boxing Day tsunami, the Paris Hilton movie The Hottie and the Nottie. Those were all our fault. We don’t know how it happens, but, as always, those radical evangelists 34

were right on the money.”

harm they have caused in that time:

When asked to comment, McTernan was found to be confused and irritable:

“We’re both very sorry we neglected to tell anyone for so long. We know it’s very selfish,” said Green. “The first time we kissed in the street a dog got hit by a car. The first time I gave Phil a handjob, back in 1994, it kick-started a civil war in Yemen. Everything started in Libya that weekend we spent at a hotel in Tenerife. It’s a hassle, but we’ve just got to live with it.”

“I wasn’t even believing my own bullshit at this stage. Hell, it goes down great with the rednecks, but I never thought I was right.” In relation to claims that McTernan linked Hurricane Isaac earlier this year to simultaneous LGBT proceedings in New Orleans, the preacher said: “Look, man, I’m just clutching at straws. I had to blame someone, I’m way out of my league here. I can’t accuse illiterate trailer trash with 18 kids on benefits, that’s my fanbase.” Mr Green and Mr Stevens have been together 20 years, and regret all the

Mr Green reckons that he and his partner should even take responsibility for every tragedy since the 1960’s, because “why not, homosexuality probably caused those too.” By this reasoning, a propensity for anal sex was the cause of the Vietnam War, the assassination of Martin Luther King, and Vanilla Ice. 80th ANNIVERSARY

he offer, from the couple’s foundation, could help save millions of lives from funding researchers to map areas around the world where investments into infectious diseases have been successful.

This will give policy makers a comprehensive picture of where there’s been a lack of funding relative to the impact of the disease and help to set global research investment priorities.

The data produced from the studies will be used to improve future investment decisions surrounding disease alleviation, from investigating how research funding is allocated globally to institutions in the 20 richest countries.

Infectious diseases, such as pneumonia and tetanus are priority areas for both the Gates Foundation and the World Health Organisation.

The impact of these various research programmes will also be analysed, to help assess whether money is going where it is needed most. Research gaps both nationally and globally will be able to be identified as a result, to help inform investment decisions. Leader of the study, Dr Stuart Clarke, from the University of Southampton’s Faculty of Medicine, assures that the research will help in saving countless lives in some of the poorest countries in the world. He said: We will quantify the contribution of research funds that these infections receive compared to research involving other pathogens that are important in human health.

Despite treatment and vaccines for pneumonia existing, a study carried out in 2013 estimated that each year 800,000 people die from this disease globally. The study further concluded it to be the largest killer of children below the age of five, causing more deaths that tuberculosis, malaria and HIV combined, emphasising how considerable an issue it is and the importance of investigating how funding for different diseases is allocated. As research investments into diseases such as these are insufficiently documented and poorly tracked, there is limited awareness surrounding the impact and relevance of funding decisions. This therefore signifies the importance of the study planning to be undertaken by University of Southampton researchers, which is set to commence in October.

Referendum Result: Students Vote In Favour of a 24-Hour Library

SUSU are eager to hear what you thought of the referendum, so if you would like to feedback to the union, you can do so here.

Students have voted to implement a 24-hour library, with ‘yes’ gaining 73% of votes, and ‘no’ getting 27%. The turnout was 5052 - which is over 20% of the University’s student population, and significantly more than in any of the two recent referendums on NUS membership.

Whilst the referendum campaign has been plagued by controversy (including debates over the cost of t-shirts and what impact the referendum will actually have), the result of the referendum will certainly send the University the students’ official opinion - something which should have been taken into account at the beginning of this whole process.

Kerry Sclater, VP Democracy & Creative Industries, said this of the referendum: This referendum has been an amazing start of a long journey of us improving our democracy and getting more students involved – we want to make it easy, meaning ful, transparent and engaging for students to join in discussions and voting on issues. 80th ANNIVERSARY

With the University set to go ahead with their plans to introduce a permanent 24-hour library irrespective of the referendum (although the result now means that this point is far less controversial than it could have been), continued consultation will have to take place between SUSU and the University to ensure that measures such as Safety Bus provisions get implemented effectively. 35