ZERO-GRAVITY BENCH PRESSING HOW ASTRONAUTS KEEP ACTIVE IN SPACE

ZERO-GRAVITY BENCH PRESSING:

How Astronauts Keep Active in Space

WORDS BY MITUL MISTRY IMAGE BY SAYLI JADHAV

xercise. It’s a simple set of instructions we as humans force our bodies through as a way of maintaining our levels of fitness. Sometimes we exercise without completely recognising the fact that we are doing it. That’s right, simply walking down the road to the chippy, whether it’s one or ten minutes away, counts as exercise. But when the human body is tasked with tolerating the alien conditions in space, how does the astronaut keep themselves active in the land of stars?

Exercising in space differs massively to exercise on Earth and that comes down to one simple fact: the lack of gravity. According to NASA, lifting 200 pounds in space would be far easier due to the fact that the microgravity would cause the 200-pound equipment to feel lighter. Weightlessness in space can have its benefits and drawbacks. Astronauts need to work out for two hours per day in order to maintain their bone and muscle mass. Without any attempt to keep fit, it can be easy for the astronaut’s muscles to begin crumbling as the body becomes lazy.

In 2013, Canadian Space Agency (CSA) astronaut and commander Chris Hadfield shared his workout routine through the CSA YouTube channel, providing viewers with a remarkable insight into the daily life of an astronaut. Hadfield filmed his routine, showing us how gets his cardio fix and keeps his upper body muscles in good health. In terms of cardio, the treadmill serves as one piece of equipment which allows astronauts to perform their workout. The space treadmill is of course not your typical treadmill, in fact, a harness has to be worn to prevent the astronaut from floating away into outer space (physically and literally). On the other hand, the Advanced Resistive Exercise Device (ARED) allows astronauts to maintain their muscle and bone mass. Similar to an elliptical machine, the ARED ensures that the astronaut has the ability to work a number of muscles in the body, helping to prevent the body from laziness due to the low gravity conditions.

The deterioration of leg muscles is a potential problem for astronauts departing from the Earth into the unknown, considering how the legs won’t be required for use as much as they would be on Earth. To contain these issues, the ISS is also equipped with a stationary bicycle, again with a harness to ensure that the astronaut doesn’t float too high towards the ceiling. The bicycle comes with a monitor which allows the astronauts to keep a record of their fitness data. The data is sent directly to the trainers and doctors on Earth to make certain that the astronauts are keeping healthy.

Nutrition is just as vital in space as exercise is when it comes to the matter of keeping fit. The potential deterioration of bones is a challenge that must be dealt with as constantly and consistently as possible whilst on the space station. Foods rich in calcium like yoghurt are absolutely crucial otherwise astronauts risk a decrease of up to 20% in muscle mass and bone density. Fresh produce with a two-day shelf life is stored in refrigerators on board the spacecraft, astronauts acquire their source of vitamins through such fresh food whilst also consuming food in their natural form such as nuts which are simply packaged.

Exercise forms in space are rapidly evolving. So who knows... maybe in 20 years, PureGym in space will officially open. You never know.

Did Aliens Abduct Wessex Scene's News & Investigations Editors?

WORDS AND IMAGE BY J. M. HURFORD

s some of our readers may have noticed, Wessex Scene currently doesn’t have any News & Investigations Editors, but how did this happen?

Until now the official line has been that nobody ran for the positions at the AGM or the subsequent EGM but new evidence has emerged that there may have been a coverup of cosmic proportions, and the truth is quite literally out of this world.

Aliens took them! And then they tried to erase the whole debacle from everyone’s minds. The keyword here is ‘tried’ as fortunately for us they didn’t quite pull it off. Whilst we have no idea who is missing we have clear traces of their activity which we cannot attribute to anybody else. A number of our news writers have come to us with followups on things none of us has any recollection of asking them to follow up and when pressed for more information they can’t recall who sent them to do the follow-up in the first place. Interestingly, one of our writers came to us with a follow-up on UFO sightings and crop circles in the local area, perhaps our missing editors knew too much?

1 - Our Head of Events & Outreach, Billy Traderman, tells us that he could have sworn he was in a relationship with one of the Editors but has no idea who, and likewise all our editors deny any romantic involvement with Billy.

Billy elaborated on this experience, telling us, ‘I’m sure my partner and I lived together, we must have shared a room because there are all these extra clothes and makeup on one We asked Billy why he was so certain that his other half must have been one of our editors and not a fifth victim,

he retorted: ‘That’s just how it works, okay.’ 2 - We suspect recent work on the roof of the Hartley Library may also be a result of alien intervention. In the early hours of the 6th September, several students passing through campus after a night out drinking reported bright lights above the Harley Library, a place our editors are known to frequent at night, and the library was closed for urgent repair work which suddenly began shortly after sunrise. At the time we asked the university to comment on the damage, a spokesperson told us, ‘We’re just patching a leak, scorch marks are a common symptom of this, pay no mind to them.’ Observers noted that a large circular section of the roof was missing with the surrounding roof tiles looking melted and scorched, undoubtedly the calling card of a death ray.

We’re just patching a leak, scorch marks are a common symptom of this, pay no mind to them.

With the News and Investigations Editors out of the picture we’ve been receiving reports that the news section has fallen into anarchy, one of our news writers who now insist they be called ‘The Reporter’ told us: ‘For years the editors have been watering down our content, but now we’re free to write as we please and I’ll be damned if we ever let some filthy editors control us again.’ Stay tuned as we uncover more about this situation.

(A note from the editorial team: upon review of this article it has come to our attention that Billy Traderman does not exist, the author also has no recollection of writing about him. We suspect that Billy is yet another victim of alien abduction.)