Caregivers need love, too

BY KELLY FOSSO RODENBERG

The art of caregiving is most certainly an art. Opportunities surface for a multitude of reasons: a pandemic, an aging family member, a disability, a disease, a mental illness. Some have years of prep for this space in time; for others it literally happens overnight.

Caregivers who are thrust into this unpaid position typically find themselves deprived of training.

Should you be one of the lucky ones, there’s room for advancement — you are granted more time to hone your skills. Just don’t expect to be properly compensated for it.

While some patients and caregivers live under the same roof, others have numerous miles and states between them. Both scenarios come with a host of pros and cons, I’m sure.

Only a handful of caregivers are fortunate enough to be able to place life on hold, take a leave of absence, an early retirement or have the financial stability to exit their job. The vast majority of caregivers must now endure two full-time positions.

As a caregiver turned patient, I don’t believe either position is necessarily any easier than the other. For this self-sufficient farm girl, asking for help has never been easy.

Total toss-up if I’d choose to ask for help or require help. Given the fact I can’t open my own pill bottle, choices are limited.

Every single day, my dear husband positions his empathy hat.

He takes three times the number of steps he normally would. Not by choice, but by necessity. While patience may not have been my strong suit growing up, it certainly is now.

A few caregiving tips from one who has experienced both sides of the coin:

— Fatigue is not your friend. Caregivers need a good night’s rest too.

— Put on your own air mask first. It’s imperative you help yourself, so you can adequately help your patient.

— Make a list. In general, people want to help, but claim not to know how. Puzzling, I know. Arm yourself with rapid fire.

— Know you are not alone. Seek help when necessary. Talk to your patient’s doctor, phone a friend, sign onto caregiver sites. Don’t be shy – request a stand in when you need a day off.

— Realize it’s okay that not all friends stay. It says far more about them than it does you.

— Whether the role is that of a patient or caregiver, frustrations will surface and tears will fall. Caregivers: remember the person inside. Patients: remember this unsolicited role impacts life every day.

— Attitude is everything! A good one serves you — and those around you — far better than a negative one. Keep spreading the light and love!