How to Ease Back to School Anxiety During a Pandemic

by Krystle Sivorot, Registered Clinical Counsellor, Harbourside Family Counselling

Going back to school after summer break can bring up all kinds of uncertainty in any given year, let alone during a pandemic. Not only will kids be asking questions like, “Who’s going to be in my class this year?” but they will also have a slew of COVID-19 related questions.

Walking into unfamiliar and unpredictable territory can be stressful for most adults, and for children it can often lead to high feelings of anxiety. This can take on many different forms and look different for everyone. Often it can look like extra irritability, emotional and behavioural regression, clingy behaviour, asking a lot of questions, and sometimes withdrawing completely.

As parents and caregivers, you might be feeling a bit overwhelmed yourself these days. Here are a few things to consider to help you and your child ease some of the back-to-school anxiety:

Get as much information as possible

Synergetic Play Therapy founder, Lisa Dion often mentions one of the biggest perceived threats to the brain is “the unknown” and the stories that get created in your child’s mind as they relate to it. One way to ease tension around this is to help your child find out as much as possible before the first day of school. How many people are going to be in the class? What are the COVID-19 protocols? Find out as much information about going back to school and keep yourself and your child informed.

Get your routine down

In preparation for back-to-school mornings, you might want to help support yourself and your kids by getting a sense of what your routine is going to look like. Making things predictable and helping kids understand what’s happening next provides a huge support. Setting up visual calendars and talking through expectations usually helps calm some nerves. If you’re really into it, maybe even do a test run before the first day of school.

Give space for your child to share

Making space for your child is important for them to be able to open up to you and share how they really feel. It’s important to take their sentiments seriously and listen before jumping in to offer solutions. When talking to your kids about their uncertainties and nervous feelings, remember to normalize all the feelings that might be coming up! We’re living in surreal times and their responses are valid.

Ask your child what they think is the scariest part about going back to school

Helping your child identify what the biggest challenge for them is will help give you both an understanding of what is causing the anxiety. Also, when you can identify what the most scary part is, it’s a reminder that not all parts of going back to school are scary.

Talk to your child about what they already know. Sure, there’s a lot of new changes happening in the classroom and there’s probably a lot that your child already knows. Usually anxiety keeps us focusing on what we don’t know. Help remind your child about what they know will be predictable.

Help set up a plan

There are probably some “what if” questions coming up for your child and often parents might respond with, “everything will be OK”. However, we can’t say for sure we know that to be true. Instead of sitting in fear based wonder, help your child come up with a plan that makes sense. Help them feel empowered to be able to do something with your help if what they fear is to happen.

Find ways to breathe and move together

Your child needs your help to co-regulate and calm their nervous system. What do you like to do together that helps support this? Maybe it’s a dance party in the kitchen, running up and down stairs, or singing your favourite tune.

Check in with yourself

How are you doing right now and what’s helping you? Remember that honouring and taking care of your needs is also important for our young ones and their growth. You are modeling to them how to self-regulate and learn how to take care of themselves through challenging times.

Krystle Sivorot is a Registered Clinical Counsellor with Harbourside Family Counselling. Her practice supports children, youth, and adults struggling with emotional challenges and encourages cultivating the wisdom of the body and mind. Krystle looks at supporting the whole family system to find new ways of deepening the relationship to self and others in the community. Krystle’s practice uses breath, movement, and mindfulness to deepen a connection to the body as a resource for wellbeing and nurturing joy.