HomeLearning - When is it Right for Your Family

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HomeLearning for kids

HOME LEARNING

When Your Child Doesn’t Fit Into A Traditional Education System

by Rebecca Gifford

“Why?” It’s the most common question I get when someone discovers that I’m a homeschooling mom.

I get it. Most parents have trouble imagining themselves in charge of their child’s education, or even spending that much time together year-round. I know I did at first. And, frankly, I often still question it on days when my son has a meltdown because I dared to point out that he’d mixed up where and there.

But the honest answer - even on the tough days - is, “Because it’s what my child needs.”

I should explain that our ten-year-old Henry was not wildly unhappy in traditional school, and he had excellent teachers. He was engaged and curious - even if restless. He grew and learned as much as he was able. Both my husband Larry and I gladly attended public schools in the US, and all of our parents worked in or with our local school systems—three of them as teachers. We support public education and the role of good community schools. We love that there are children who thrive there and parents who make that choice.

Like so many of our kids, my son functions in the world differently than the typical student. His particular superpower is that he learns and develops at a slower pace than his peers because of an intellectual disability. He has many strengths, but he struggles with language, memory, and complex or abstract concepts. He does not meet traditional classroom expectations, and the gap between him and his peers will widen over time.

Most traditional educational environments are not prepared to be patient with outliers. Educators must engage so many students that they are forced to spend time and energy on moving students like Henry toward the middle. This is for his benefit, but also for his teachers who are not necessarily in a position to offer essential one-on-one help.

For Henry, school became about endless special programs and being pulled out of class daily. He’s a high-energy kid, but the increased pace and stimuli exhausted him.

The most disheartening consequence was that the intervention, as wellintentioned as it was, repeatedly told him, “You’re not measuring up,” and, ultimately, “You’re a problem to fix.” My extroverted child who hopped out of bed for school was beginning to fake headaches and say that he just couldn’t do it today.

Last September, before he lost his zeal for learning—and before we lost him—we decided to look into homeschooling. After some research and conversations with knowledgeable parents here in BC, we decided that a hybrid situation made sense for us. In his Distributed Learning (DL) program (so called because he is still affiliated with a school system) he spends most of the week homeschooled by myself, and some in a progressive classroom. (Note that BC uses the term homeschooling to mean registered families not affiliated with any school. So for the rest of this piece I’ll refer to our choice as home learning.)

Here are just some of the ways that home learning has benefited my family:

It provides a tailored learning environment

Our family, including Henry of course, is in control of his education and he is our only student. On home learning days we set and adjust the pace. We spend as much time outdoors, in unstructured play, or dancing around the kitchen as he needs to maintain balance. I can offer much-needed one-onone engagement and encouragement.

We can implement interest-led motivation

We have the freedom to develop projects around his interests and learning style. Last fall we spent a day buying materials and making signs encouraging the many cars that traverse through the four-way stop near our home to “PLEASE STOP.” Drivers endangering the kids headed to the park across the street bothered Henry, and he wanted to do something. We incorporated math, art, city planning, and community involvement into this one passion project.

Last summer Henry developed an interest in birds. Bird watching, guides, books, life cycles, migration, binoculars, navigation, and trail sign reading became lessons in science, nature, technology, ecology, language, physical education, plus whatever else came up.

The possibilities are endless

We have the space for our child to learn at his natural pace

Our son isn’t an outlier in his own home. He’s just Henry learning, growing, challenging, celebrating, having bad days, and having great days. As long as he is curious and learning, at any pace, we’re happy.

So far we are one year in, and we are still figuring things out. Some days are better than others. The lessons come swiftly for us both. I’m still learning that correcting him while he reads aloud is his greatest pet peeve, and he’s still learning that I’m an introvert who needs some alone time every day. But mostly we are extraordinarily grateful to have home learning as an option. Henry is more relaxed, more confident, immeasurably interested in his world, and, well, more himself.

Homeschooling isn’t for everyone. Not because you can’t do it. You can, but you don’t have to. Every child, family, and practical situation is different, and I believe there are very few blanket “shoulds” in parenting. But if your child’s superpowers also make traditional education challenging, know that there are alternatives where they can thrive.

For more information about how home learning works and what options you have in your area, here are some resources that may be helpful: BC Home Educators Association: www.bchea.ca/ Canadian Home Based Learning Resource Page: www.homebasedlearning.ca/ BC Home Learners Facebook page: www.www.facebook.com/groups/BCunschool/