MEN'S FASHION Finding Your Style

BY MATTHEW BANEVER

Accept. Change. Leave. These three words can be powerful when applied to one’s life. Life is full of turbulent times and these three words can help guide us through life's most challenging storms. No need to check the section at the top of the page; yes, you are reading a Style column and not a Self-Growth piece.

Finding one’s style can be daunting - I work in fashion and I will be the first to admit it. But a running theme in my columns is to be the voice you’ve always needed to hear. Finding clothing that fits is annoying; trying clothing on is frustrating; envisioning an amazing outfit in your head only to put it on and see Potato Head staring back at you is... well... just deflating.

But here is the piece you have always known and just need to hear again, out loud: you just have to do it. You have to go to a few stores and try things on. If you do this once, and I mean give it an honest one- or two-day no holds barred try, the rewards will be everlasting.

Excuses you need to throw away: “well, I’m just not that stylish,” or “you can wear that, I can’t.” Have you ever heard someone say (or said yourself), “I’m just so bad with names.” No. NO you are not. Be honest, you’re not trying to remember their name. You’re probably focused on a million other things during that interaction. This wake-up call also applies to style.

Style is not the same as fashion. Style is wearing clothing that fits and makes you comfortable. Fashion is pushing boundaries with colors and patterns. Go to West Hartford Center, or any shopping destination (I prefer the Center because of the personal attention the stores give me) and just tell them what you like, what you don’t

like, what has been working for you, where you shop, and maybe even what style icons inspire you. From there the experts can recommend products for you to try on and help you home in on what you actually enjoy wearing, and even more importantly, what you don’t enjoy wearing.

In the fitting room remember: Accept. Change. Leave. You can love the item, like it but want to alter it, or just leave it behind. Break it down. The outcome: you will stop wasting thousands of dollars over the years on clothing that doesn’t quite fit. You will stop getting gifts from people who are just guessing what you like because you are a wild card dresser; your confidence will increase when you step into the world, and the amount of decisions you make daily will decrease. Do you think Steve Jobs was born in a black turtleneck and jeans? I’ll go out on a limb and say he was not. What he did do, was he tried things on and concluded that this was his style, this was his story.

Once you have a sense for your body and how things should feel when they fit (i.e., buy shirts that fit in the neck rather than the body because the body can be altered), if you feel so inclined you can then push the boundaries of fashion. You may be brave enough to try this because you have a foundation to build upon. You will become a more confident, more stylish (see above), and a more conscious dresser.

Matthew Banever Bards Clothing, Founder, Owner (860) 978-6234 Matthew@ BardsClothing.com