How carers can help reduce the fear of dementia

By Amrit Dhaliwal

WHEN Joan Shewry, aged 100, was visited by therapy dog Mya, it was a highlight of her life, according to her son David.

“Life with dementia is not always sad,” he added.

Joan was diagnosed in 2019, and David looked after her aided by carers from Walfinch Oxford until she recently went into a nursing home.

“In her mind we still have all of our family dogs, Dinkie, Monkey, and Toksy,” said David.

“She would ask where they were, and I’d say they were in the garden. “It was a white lie, of course, because they passed away long ago, but she was happy with that. When Mya came to see her, she was overjoyed.”

Joan’s Walfinch carers arranged the visit when they discovered that she was a dog lover, and her reaction was a living example of how people with dementia can experience joy.

Happy times

David said: “Life with mum was not all sadness. Sometimes we would laugh together.

“It was helpful to try to get into her mind. She had reverted to the 1940s, so some mornings she would say she did not want to go to school. I’d tell her it was Saturday so she didn’t have to, and she’d go back to sleep happy.

“At other times she’d forget who I was, but for her, I had not been born yet. Looked at that way, it’s not so upsetting.

“I’d take her out for coffee at a local garden centre and each time she thought it was our first visit and be delighted.”

Reducing fear with a balanced view

The majority (60 per cent) of over 65s say they fear dementia above all other health conditions, according to the Dementia Statistics Hub of Alzheimer’s Research UK.

Every diagnosis is a tragedy, for those who are diagnosed, their families and friends – but viewing life with dementia as an ongoing disaster from diagnosis to death will not help them.

Average life expectancy for people with dementia varies. Alzheimer’s UK says that for Alzheimer’s disease it is around eight to 10 years, but sometimes 15 or 20.

We owe it to them to make the most of that time. It will include good days, smiles and laughter – carers see it every day.

How the care profession can help

As carers, we must encourage a balanced view of dementia, for the sake of the people living with it.

That’s 944,000 people in the UK now, and that’s expected to rise to 1.6 million by 2030. It is not enough to feel pity for people if we then do nothing to bring happiness into their lives.

Activities boost wellbeing

Activities that stimulate the senses of sight, sound, touch, taste and smell are important, and if possible, they should be linked to hobbies or interests the person enjoyed before dementia, says The Social Care Institute for Excellence – and carers of all kinds can encourage these while enjoying the activities themselves.

“We know that people with dementia can remember the words to songs they knew years ago, even at quite a late stage of the disease,” said Robin Boulter, care coordinator at Walfinch Southampton.

“As a carer I used to take one man with dementia out in my car and we’d put on music and both sing along. He liked oldies from singers like Sinatra and Sammy Davis Junior. He’d be changed man when we got back to his home.”

Walfinch Southampton will be including music in the monthly memory café sessions they are setting up with charity Caraway in Maybush, Southampton. The first one will feature live music, and people can come along and join in the singing.

Subsequent café sessions will offer picture quizzes, craft activities, bingo, and whatever people attending want to do.

“It’s important not to treat everyone with dementia in the same way, so we will ask them,” said Robin.

Spreading care expertise n Amrit is the chief executive of homecare franchise Walfinch.

Professionals in the care sector are perhaps the foremost experts by experience when it comes to enhancing the lives of people with dementia.

All carers are trained in dementia care, and certainly at Walfinch, many of our carers go on to do extra dementia care qualifications –because they enjoy it.

We need to speak up about the fact that a dementia diagnosis does not banish all joy from life. This way we can reduce fear and encourage a more balanced approach.