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We would like to thank all the readers of What’s Up Xtra Magazine for your continued support. The magazine was started over 8 years ago as a small local publication in Chicago and has grown throughout the area, surrounding suburbs , and now into Southern Wisconsin to be one of the most recognized comprehensive local bar directories of its kind. Our “grass root marketing” strategy has proven an effective tool for our publication and is designed to be used as a tool for our readers to plan where they will be spending their afternoons, evenings, and hard earned dollars. Magazines have maintained popularity with readers through the years and have proven that magazine advertising and readership will stand the test of time. We encourage our readers to support your communities and to patronize your local businesses!
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TABLE OF CONTENTS
OUR ST A FF keith romack publisher
7 ALL MIXED UP 8 news AND STUFF
Lisa romack Sales Director
12 ask the wino 14 are you smarter than chester 16 to do in september
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17 sudoku crossowrd wordfind 18 trivia open mic karaoke
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19 patios and beer gardens
Check us out online - Read the magazine, Photos & More... www.whatsupxtra.com Front page photo taken
FIESTA CANTINA by Lisa Romack
The name What’s Up Xtra Magazine is a registered trade name, and use of this name is strictly prohibited. The contents of this publication are copyrighted What’s Up Xtra Chicago Magazine -2012 We encourage our readers to write their stories, send photos, and make comments. All submissions sent to us by phone, email, fax, or handwritten become the property of What’s Up Xtra Chicago Magazine.
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20 BARTENDER OF THE MONTH 21 lake MI circle tour
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25�28 bar directory
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29 tales from the chris 30 la las love letters 31 book review CHECK OUT
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lauren strec contributing writer We are always on the lookout for dynamic writers, photographers and sales staff to contribute to our publication If you are interested in joining our team or interested in advertising opportunities contact us at 773-288-9400 or email: whatsupxtra@yahoo.com WWW.WHATSUPXTRA.COM
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The Rude Commuter After a tiring day, a commuter settled down in his seat and closed his eyes. As the train rolled out of the station, the young woman sitting next to him pulled out her cell phone and started talking in a loud voice: "Hi sweetheart. It’s Sue. I’m on the train". "Yes, I know it’s the six thirty and not the four thirty, but I had a long meeting". "No, honey, not with that Kevin from the accounting office. It was with the boss”. “No sweetheart, you’re the only one in my life”. “Yes, I’m sure, cross my heart!"
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I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do. Edward Everett Hale, editor and author
Fifteen minutes later, she was still talking loudly. When the man sitting next to her had enough, he leaned over and said into the phone, "Sue, hang up the phone and come back to bed."
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The Four Treys
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ALL MIXED UP by Lisa Romack
More often than not, when you think about celebrating Halloween, most people’s minds go directly to the kids. Well after the trick-or-treating is done and your “little monsters” are tucked away for the night, whether you’re lying low with a scary movie and some popcorn or throwing a fabulous party with your friends and neighbors, these Halloween-inspired cocktails are sure to pack a little punch!
Sinister Cider
Martini
Ingredients: Fine black sugar 1 apple, chopped ½ lime (cut into wedges) 1 ounce maple syrup 1 ounce apple cider 2 ounces vodka Ice Club soda 1 thin crosswise slice lady apple (for garnish) Directions:
Moisten the rim of a martini glass with water. Place sugar in a saucer and dip rim of glass in sugar to coat; set aside. In a cocktail shaker, muddle together apple cubes and lime wedges. Add syrup, cider, and vodka; fill with ice. Cover and shake until well combined. Strain into prepared martini glass; top with club soda. Garnish with apple slice and serve. FACEBOOK.COM/WHATSUPXTRAMAGAZINE
Dracula’s Kiss
Pumpkin Head
Ingredients
Ingredients: 1 oz black cherry vodka ½ oz grenadine Cola Maraschino cherries (for garnish) Directions: Coat the bottom of a highball glass with grenadine. Add ice and vodka. Fill with cola. Garnish with cherries. 773.213.4597
1 ½ oz pumpkin liqueur 1 oz orange vodka ½ oz half & half Splash of vanilla syrup Gooseberry or Cinnamon Stick (for garnish) Rim Ingredients: 4 bar spoons super fine sugar ¼ bar spoon ground cinnamon Lime wedge Directions: Measure sugar and cinnamon onto a small plate. Rim outside top of glass with lime wedge. Roll the outside rim of glass in sugar mixture. Set aside. Add pumpkin liqueur, orange vodka, half and half, and vanilla syrup to mixing glass. Add ice to tin. Shake well. Strain into cocktail glass. Garnish with a gooseberry. Peel back the outer leaves of the berry. Slit the bottom of the berry. Rest on the rim of the glass.
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News & Stuff
'Oracle Of Omaha' Tells His Investment Strategy Corralled during a break at Berkshire Hathaway's annual meeting, CEO Warren Buffett said, "If investors try to time their purchases according to economic forecasts ... they'll make a lot of money for their brokers, but not much for themselves." He's said it before and now says it again: "Buy what you know." He doesn't buy automobile stocks because he doesn't know what will be popular in five years. He's almost 100 percent confident about the future of Burlington Northern railroad and insurer Geico, which are both Berkshire properties. "Invest in businesses, not stocks." He says you should consider any stock investment as if you were buying the entire company.
For The Olympics Marijuana Off List Of Banned Substances\ Olympic athletes can now smoke marijuana, but not on game day. The drug has been removed from the World Anti-Doping Agency's list of banned substances. WADA oversees Olympic drug testing worldwide. WADA has raised the allowable threshold for a positive test. The new level is meant to catch athletes who smoke only during the period of competition. It isn't prohibited outside that period. Authorities say that in the past, many cases of use did not involve game or event-day competition. Players are tested on the day of the event. WADA bans substances based on any or all of three criteria: Performance enhancement, danger to an athlete's health, and violation of the spirit of the sport. Marijuana is now legal in Canada and 16 U.S. states, suggesting that attitudes toward the drug are changing.
New Building In China Is The Largest In The World Chengdu's New Century Global Center is the world's largest freestanding building. It opened earlier this year. CNN reports that the building has 18.9 million square feet of floor space. The building will be capable of housing 20 Sydney Opera houses. It's almost three times the size of the Pentagon in Washington, D.C. The Global Center has an ocean theme and will house a huge artificial beach with a seafront promenade and an artificial sun. It will also be home to offices, theaters, hotels, shopping malls, and even a fake Mediterranean village. "This is an ocean city built by man," says guide Liu Xun. There are 1,000 rooms in the hotel and all have seaside views. The artificial sun shines 24 hours a day. The system uses specialized lighting technology that heats the building as well as illuminates it.
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The Paint Job
A young blond girl in her late teens, wanting to earn some extra money for the summer, decided to hire herself out as a "handy woman" and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood.
773.296.0018 To be a great champion you must believe you are the best. If you're not, pretend you are. Muhammad Ali, heavy weight boxing champion of the world
She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do, "Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint the porch" he said. "How much will you charge me?" Delighted, the girl quickly responded, “How about $50?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and brushes and everything she would need were in the garage. The man’s wife, hearing the conversation, said to her husband, "Does she realize that our porch goes ALL the way around the house?" "That’s a bit cynical, isn’t it?" he responded. The wife replied, "You’re right. I guess I’m starting to believe all those dumb blonde jokes." A few hours later the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You’re finished already??" the startled husband asked. "Yes," the blonde replied, "and I even had paint left over so I gave it two coats." Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50 and handed it to her along with a $10 tip. "Thank you," the blonde said, "And, by the way, it’s not a Porch, it’s a Lexus." FACEBOOK.COM/WHATSUPXTRAMAGAZINE
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One Smart Little Girl
An atheist was seated next to a little girl on an airplane and he turned to her and said, "Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."
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When you forgive, you in no way change the past – but you sure do change the future. Bernard Meltzer, radio host of "What's Your Problem" in Philadelphia
The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, "What would you want to talk about?" "Oh, I don’t know," said the atheist. "How about why there is no God, or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after death?" as he smiled smugly. "Okay," she said. "Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff; grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?" The atheist, visibly surprised by the little girl’s intelligence, thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea." To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss God, Heaven and Hell, or life after death, when you don’t know shit?" FACEBOOK.COM/WHATSUPXTRAMAGAZINE
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The Silent Treatment
Ask The Wino… Taking questions
WINO: Roger Hasters AGE: Thinks he’s 51 DISLIKES: Donuts more than a week old and empty purses. LIKES: Going up the escalators the wrong way at rush hour. A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:0 0 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and lose), he wrote on a piece of paper, “Please wake me at 5:00 AM.” He left it where he knew she would find it the next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he missed his flight Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn’t wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
Karen: A student asks: Can I interview you for my class studies on the rich and the poor please. Like how did you get there. I mean, wouldn’t you rather be rich? WINO: I once dropped my drawers for a quarter. For you I’d let you pull on my finger for free, I get my kicks that way. Bring the donuts and a squeegee and you can ask me anything.
The paper said, “It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.”
WANTED: PHOTOGRAPHERS CALL 773-288-9400
Malcolm: An environmental Studies Analyst asks: What do you think of global warming? WINO: Is that like when a lot of people fart in the lake at the same time. Guess I am all for it, keeps the water warm and stops nasty smells on the beach. Hey have you ever seen them broads playing volley ball on the beach. When they fart I’m right up in there!! Hey pull on my finger!! Terri: A fashion consultant asks: I advise people on dress sense for dinner parties and business meetings etc. Can I give you a few pointers on how to look your best? WINO: Slap my ass and call me Sally I haven’t changed clothes in over a year and no one ever complains. Except that ticket collector on the train. He once told me I smelt like I had crotch rot. Is it suppose to burn when I pee? Brian: A fitness instructor asks: Are you looking forward to Halloween, I mean you look pretty scary dude...ha ha. WINO: I once high jacked a plastic pumpkin that I thought was full of candy. Since I don’t have electicity I was surprised to find out that it was the dogs shit bag. I rinsed my hands off in the sewer and kept moving.
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LIVE COUNTRY& WESTERN MUSIC
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Carol’s Kitchen serves Hot Sandwiches Late!
OCTOBER HOROSCOPE ARIES: If a person is gloomy, things seem to go wrong. When a person is cheerful, everything seems to go right. So get positive now. Speak of solutions, and create a better day.
LIBRA: Slow down and take time to think before making a mistake in your home life. You think you're right, and you could be, but a compromise could save your relationship.
TAURUS: This is a time to rise above thoughts of the past. You are strong enough now to create the present, and the petty behavior of others will not rub off on you.
SCORPIO: Columbus dared to discover, and you could too. He discovered a new land. You could discover a new talent that's just waiting to be developed.
GEMINI: The anticipation of career advancement has you feeling tense. Distractions like sports or a Hunter's Moon picnic (Friday, the 28th) can help. Success will come.
SAGITTARIUS: The artist in you is crying out for a voice. Listen to it. Your creative efforts can have a good impact even on your most routine tasks.
CANCER: That "what you see is what you get" attitude makes people trust you. Your innate honesty, when paired with a cooperative spirit, will bring you interesting projects.
CAPRICORN: Just when we are resigned to doing a thankless job, something happens. New possibilities take you by surprise.
LEO: Your work is going so smoothly that you may lose the interest in giving it your best effort. That would be a waste, because you have more opportunities than ever before.
AQUARIUS: Whether or not you like the holiday season, Halloween is kicking it off. You might as well plunge into it and plan to enjoy Thanksgiving and Christmas too.
VIRGO: Willpower has become your source of energy, and it has taken you far. You've accomplished some significant goals with it. That self-discipline is a work-time basic.
PISCES: Your world is in a positive phase and you are relaxed, satisfied, and forgiving. Or maybe you just refuse to be bothered, and troublemakers just amuse you.
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THE LIGHTER SIDE
Leather
When a woman wears leather clothing, a man's heart beats faster. His throat gets dry. He gets weak in the knees and begins to think irrationally. Ever wonder why? She smells like a new truck!
Old Man
He was eating lunch at a truck stop when three bikers walked in. The first pushed his cigarette into the old man's pie, then took a seat at the counter.
Are You Smarter Than CHESTER “The Sock Monkey”? "A wee quiz about the traditions of Halloween in Ireland. No witches or warlocks allowed in Chester’s Trivia Land!" 1. What did the Celts originally call the festival we now know as Halloween? a.) All Hollow's Eve b.) Samhain c.) Oktoberfest d.) Halloween 2. In which century did the Catholic Church start to honor the various saints who didn't have their own day already on the calendar, by acknowledging them on November 1, All Hallow's Day, also known as All Saints Day"? a.) Fourth Century b.) Ninth Century c.) Sixth Century d.) Eighth century 3. What is the traditional dish eaten in Ireland on Halloween? a.) Elvers and Chips b.) Corned Beef and Cabbage c.) Colcannon d.) Bangers and Mash 4. What is the traditional cake eaten in Ireland on Halloween? a.) Carrot Cake b.) Pumpkin Pie c.) Barnbrack Cake d.) Bracken Pie
The second spit in the old man's milk, then took a seat at the counter. The third turned his plate over and then took a seat at the counter.
5. What vegetable was originally used in Ireland to hold the light, before pumpkins became more popular? a.) Rutabagas b.) Cabbages c.) Acorn Squashes d.) Turnips
The old man left without a word. One of the bikers said to the waitress, "Humph, not much of a man is he?"
6. The Celts wore costumes on their Samhain, too. What did the costumes that they wore depict? a.) Angels and archangels b.) Donkeys and pigs c.) Lambs and lions d.) Spirits and devils
The waitress replied: "Not much of a truck driver either. He just backed his truck over three motorcycles."
About The Devil The Sunday School teacher asked little Johnny, "Do you believe in the devil?" "No," said Johnny. "I believe it's just like with Santa Claus." "The devil is my dad."
What To Do
An elderly couple just bought cellphones and learned how to text. She was the romantic type and one afternoon sent him this message.
7. One of the most popular games at an Irish Halloween party is trying, while blindfolded, to get a bite of a piece of food that's hanging on a string from the ceiling. The first one to get a decent bite out of it gets to keep it, and eat it all. What is the food hanging from the ceiling? a.) Pear b.) Apple c.) Lamb shank d.) Malteaser 8. What does Irish tradition require you put in the embers of the fire on Halloween? a.) A cutting of fingernail b.) A piece of hair c.) A dried wart d.) A wing of a bat 9. Fairies and goblins try to collect as many people on Halloween as they can, so (according to Irish tradition) what should you do if you see one in order to protect yourself as well as to help others? a.) Throw dust at them b.) Throw salt over your left shoulder c.) Spit over your right shoulder d.) Snap your right fingers 10. It's late, so there is just one thing left for Irish people to do this Halloween and that is to check on their animals to ensure that they are in good health. What would you do to them if you saw one that didn't look very well? a.) Spit on him b.) Take him to the emergency veterinary clinic c.) Throw dust on him d.) Put him out of his misery
If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip.
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6. Spirits and devils 7. Apple 8. A piece of hair 9. Throw dust at them 10.Spit on him
The husband texted back to her: "I'm in the bathroom. Please advise."
1. Samhain 2. Eight century 3. Colcannon 4. Barnbrack Cake 5. Turnips
If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you."
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*Cubs Game Day excluded
BRING IN THIS AD FOR DUELING PIANOS ON FRIDAYS* FOR FREE ADMISSION
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Neil Wonnells’ Metal Mouth By Dave Rodriguez Neil Wonnells’ Metal Mouth delivers on promise of “Pure Crushing Metal” Neil Wonnell is a man on a mission. His mission, call it his dream, is to deliver a radio program that is a fun, personality driven assault of what he calls “pure crushing metal.” It’s no secret that radio has never been a safe haven for those of us that enjoy our music more on the meatier side. At best the most one could hope for is a few hours of metal programming in the dead of night or a low watt college station. Fortunately, Internet based programs have sprung up in recent years to answer the pleas of head bangers that the faceless corporate giants have ignored. One of the longest running of those is “Neil Wonnells Metal Mouth”. Recorded on the far south side of Chicago and heard weekly via the Internet and terrestrial radio, Wonnell plays a rapid-fire mix of beloved classics and cutting edge current delivered with a banter cloaked in cool professionalism. One thing for certain is that his love of the genre is clearly evident. Calling himself a “heavy metal historian”, Neil began his career in the late 80’s, doing public access radio. From there he put himself through broadcasting school and then began working at several Chicagoland A.M. talk and F.M. rock stations. During this time, Neil approached several program directors with an idea for a metal based show only for his request to fall on deaf ears. Told that metal wasn’t “marketable” Neil decided to go the independent route and took his idea to the internet and that’s when “Metal Mouth” was born. I asked Neil why he felt the time was right for a show like his. “Things changed sometime around the mid 80's. Big companies were buying up several stations in a single market, this was happening all across the country, the formats were all the same and the DJ's all followed the same rules. I knew it was time for a change!” When asked if the show focuses primarily on signed and established artists, Neil had this to say, “I absolutely play demos. Most stations and shows will only play an artist if they sell X amount of records. My theory is what better way to give a band exposure than to play their demo/independent release. I must stress though quality does matter, the better the sound quality, the better the chances for airplay.” Bands looking to have their material played on the show are instructed to send their mp3’s to neilwonnell@yahoo.com. “Neil Wonnell’s Metal Mouth” can now be heard world-wide via several outlets as well as being syndicated via terrestrial stations around the country. An all-talk edition can be found at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/neilwonnell. Along with co-host Japan Nick, the show centers on metal discussion, listener call-ins and the occasional interview with noted bands and musicians from around the country. The standard edition can be found at http://aircheck.us/show/1458. Be sure to check out our write “Joliet” Dave Rodriguez at www.facebook.com/jolietdaveofficial
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The Sonoran Desert
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ELF OWL GECKO GRAY FOX HAWK IGUANA JAVELINA LIZARD MESQUITE MILKWEED ORIOLE
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Trivia Every Monday
The Beetle 2532 W Chicago Ave, Chicago Buffalo Wild Wings 7020 Carpenter Rd, Chicago Kirkwood Bar & Grill 2934 N Sheffield Ave, Chicago
Every Tuesday
The Reservoir 844 W Montrose Ave, Chicago Schubas Tavern 3159 N Southport Ave, Chicago Sheffield's 3258 N Sheffield Ave, Chicago The Garage Bar & Sandwiches 6154 N Milwaukee Ave, Chicago
Every Wednesday Fizz Bar & Grill 3220 N Lincoln Ave, Chicago
Four Farthings (8:00pm)
2060 N Cleveland Ave, Chicago
Karaoke Every Tuesday Bonsai Bar & Lounge 3503 N Halsted St, Chicago
Every Thursday Carol’s Pub (9:00pm-4:00am) 4659 N Clark, Chicago
Four Farthings (9:30pm) 2060 N Cleveland Ave, Chicago
Every Friday
MCM Pub & Eatery (8:00pm) 3906 N Cicero Ave, Chicago Peek Inn (9:00pm) 2825 W Irving Park Rd, Chicago
Every Saturday
Four Farthings (10:30pm) 2060 N Cleveland Ave, Chicago Four Treys (10:00pm) 3333 N Damen, Chicago MCM Pub & Eatery (8:00pm) 3906 N Cicero Ave, Chicago
Every Thursday Fizz Bar & Grill 3220 N Lincoln Ave, Chicago Rockit Burger Bar 3700 N Clark St, Chicago
Open Mic Every Tuesday Four Treys (10:00pm) 3333N Damen, Chicago
Pressure Billiards & Cafe 6318 N Clark St, Chicago
Every Thursday
Red Line Tap 7006 N Glenwood Ave, Chicago
Every Sunday
Kitchen Sink 1107 W Berwyn Ave, Chicago
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Dueling Pianos Every Thursday, Friday & Saturday Sluggers(9:00pm) 3540 N Clark, Chicago
Call 773-288-9400 to list your Trivia, Karaoke, Open Mic, and Dueling Piano Nights WWW.WHATSUPXTRA.COM
CLUB BELMONT
LANDMARK PUB
Big John’s
5135 N. Oriole Harwood Heights 708.867.6533
7844 W. Belmont 773.589.2808
The Booze is Cheap & The Entertainment is Free!!!
BIKES, BABES & BOOZE
Sick and Wrong!!!
SPORT SHORTS Mickelson and Extreme Taxes
Nfl Makes Thigh And Knee Pads Mandatory Quite a few players in the National Football League have never worn knee or thigh pads. Some thought the pads made them less agile. Others thought they looked better on TV without them. The pads are mandatory this season, and NFL uniform inspectors are watching. Any player not wearing them will be taken out of the game, and not allowed back on the field until he's wearing the right pads. Players can also be fined, as they would be for any other uniform violation if caught by one of the designated inspectors. Those fines start at $5,000. Uniform violations could also include not showing enough white in their socks or wearing the wrong color shoes. The fine is not the greatest deterrent. Every player wants to be in the game, and coaches are taking the matter very seriously. As USA Today's Tom Pelissero says, imagine having a play that you've designated a certain player for, but he's not in the game because he chose not to adhere to the padding rules as every other player has. In recent years, the NFL has developed the lighter, stronger, more up-todate pads for thighs and knees that are being used for the 2013 season. The game-day uniform inspector will evaluate each player. Only kickers and punters are exempt FACEBOOK.COM/WHATSUPXTRAMAGAZINE
When Phil Mickelson won both the Scottish Open and the British Open, his winnings came to $2,167,500. But between taxes by the United Kingdom, the IRS and the state of California, 61 percent of his earnings go for taxes. That means he will pay $1,322,175 in taxes before he leaves the clubhouse. Forbes explains that the UK is one of few countries that collect taxes on endorsement income for non-resident athletes that compete in Britain or Scotland, which raises his tax bill. Forty-five percent of Mickelson's winnings go to Britain, 13 percent go to California, and 3 percent goes to the U.S. government. Mickelson still gets $842,700. Then, he'll have to pay his caddie, who will get 10 percent for a win. And there is hotel, expenses, and his agent. He'll probably end up taking home less than 30 percent of his winnings.
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W
r u tra o X ho’s y te i w r o fav nder? e t r ba
VOTE FOR YOUR FAVORITE OCTOBER BARTENDER Go to
facebook.com/whatsupxtramagazine & ‘Like’ the page and ‘Like’ or comment on the bartenders photo or text 773.288.9400. The winner will receive a 4 hour limo bus from LIMOSALIVE.NET for 24 of their friends.
Bartender: Rachel Crossroads Public House 2630 North Clark St, Chicago Signature Drink: Twisted Mule Ingredients: Cucumber Vodka, Crabbie Ginger Beer, Simple Syrup, Muddle Cucumbers & Limes Words of Wisdom: “Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.”
Bartender: RJ Wrightwood Tap 1059 W Wrightwood, Chicago Signature Drink: Jagerbomb Ingredients: Jagermeister, Red Bull Words of Wisdom: “How many roads must a man travel down before he admits he is lost?”
SEPTEMBER BARTENDER OF THE MONTH IS...
CONGRATULATIONS
DANIELLE AUGIE’S
1721 W WRIGHTWOOD “WHEN LIFE HANDS YOU LEMONS, JUST CHILL SOME VODKA AND HAVE SOME SHOTS!”
Rules: All service employees are eligible to win. The service employee who receives the most votes in the month wins. You can submit your vote by texting (773) 288-9400 or go to facebook.com/whatsupxtramagazine “Like” our page and “Like” the bartender’s photo.
Only two votes are counted per person and voting polls close on OCTOBER 20th. *The Pub Crawl will begin at the employee of the months bar and the limo bus will accommodate 24 passengers. Gratuity not included and must be paid prior to service
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ONE STOP 50,000 HALLOWEEN SHOP Over
Children’s & Adults Costumes Available
Over
2,000 NEW ITEMS OVER LAST YEAR BUY OR RENT
COSTUMES HDQ.
773-777-0222 OR 1-800-USA-WIGS 4065 N. Milwaukee Ave. WWW.FANTASYCOSTUMES.COM
OPEN NON STOP (24 HRS.) 10.24 TO FRI 10.24 10.31 HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
ONE CITY BLOCK LONG!
WE HAVE EVERYTHING! PROPS, WIGS, DECORATIONS, MAKE-UP, MASKS, ETC... MUST SEE IT TO BELIEVE IT!
20% Off with this Ad
OPEN 24 HOURS OCT. 24TH TO OCT- 31ST - 24 HRS FRI 10.24 TO 10.31 CITY BLOCK LONG OPEN Wassup
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BEER FACTS:
able sugars was the easiest to turn to beer.
1. ALMOST ALL BEER ARE MADE WITH JUST ONE GRAIN : Barley is King when it comes to brewing beer. Yes other grains like wheat and rye have their place in a brewers world, but barley contained the mother load of ferment
2. BROWN BOTTLES HELP KEEP BEER FRESH: The fact that beer is bottled in brown bottles is no accident. The brown fogged glass protects the beer from exposure to light(specifically ultra violet) which can cause chemical reactions within the beer that give it a "skunked" taste and smell. 3. THERE ARE TWO ROUTINE MAINTENANCE JOBS FOR BARS AND RESTAURANTS THAT CAN NOT BE DONE IN HOUSE AND MUST BE CONTRACTED OUT BY LAW: Cleaning the exhaust hood in a kitchen and cleaning Tap beer lines and faucets. 4. Beer is a food product ! 5. Beer lines must be cleaned every 14 days by law FACEBOOK.COM/WHATSUPXTRAMAGAZINE
COMMON PROBLEM: foamy draft beer can be caused by the build up of bacteria, yeast, mold and beer stone. SOLUTION: Routine cleaning is essential to maintaining quality and fresh taste. Only chemicals specifically manufactured for beer line cleaning will dissolve the build ups of bacteria, yeasty, mold and beer stone that occur with draft beer. Please feel free to e-mail any questions and problems with draft beer systems and we will answer them in the next issue of Whats up Xtra - maureenesheehy@aol.com
Tavern Tap and Beverage Beer Line Cleaning and SyStem Balancing Kevin B. Sheehy (773) 484-6087 www.facebook.com/TavernTapandbeverage
ATTENTION MANAGERS AND OWNERS: We Bartender: ______________________________________
are now running a FREE system inspection. We will Cleaned: Faucets: ______ ______ come out to______ your establishment after yourTowers: next cleaning and we will W/ walk the entireƑsystem, Flushed System Ƒ through Beerline Solution H2O Ƒ reAcid moving faucets and keg connections and see if you PH Level: 2 you 3 4are5paying 6 7 for. 8 NO 9 CHARGE 10 are getting 1what NO CONTRACT NO_____ OBLIGATION Walk-In Tempature: ° Degrees Payment:
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BAR DIRECTORY
Where are you going tonight?: Lakeview East - Wrigleyville - Southport Bar Celona
3474 N. Clark
773-244-8000
Mullen’s
Bendan’s Pub
3169 N. Broadway
773-929-2929
Murphys Bleachers 3655 N. Sheffield
773-281-5356
Bernie’s
3664 N Clark
773-525-1898
Mystic Celt
3443 N. Southport
773-529-8550
Big City
1010 W. Belmot
773-935-1138
Newport Bar
1344 W Newport
773-325-9111
Blarney Stone
3424 N. Sheffield
773-348-1078
Nick’s Uptown
4015 N Sheridan
773-975-1155
Brew & View
3145 N. Sheffield
773-929-7150
North End
3733 N Halsted
Buck’s Saloon
3439 N. Halsted
773-525-1125
Paddy Long’s
1028 W Diversey
773-348-9711
Clark Street Bar 3040 N. Clark
773-281-6690
Parrots Bar
754 W Wellington
773-281-7878
Coobah
3423 N. Southport
773-528-2220
Piano Bar
3801 N. Clark
773-528-4033
Cubby Bear
1059 W Addison
773-327-1662
Raw Bar & Grill
3720 N Clark St
773-348-7291
Cullen’s Bar
3741 N. Southport
773-975-0600
Rebel Bar
3462 N. Clark
773-348-9084
Dram Shop
3040 N. Broadway
773-549-4401
Redmond’s
3358 N Sheffield
773-404-2151
Fiesta Cantina
3407 N. Clark
773-975-5980
Roadhouse 66
3330 N. Clark
773-525-8166
Friar Tucks
3010 N. Broadway
773-327-5101
Rockit Bar
3700 N.Clark
773-645-4400
Full Shilling
3724 N. Clark
773-248-3330
Rocks
3463 N. Broadway
773-472-0493
Goose Island
3535 N. Clark
773-832-9040
Roscoe’s
3356 N. Halsted
773-281-3355
Higgins Tavern
3259 N. Racine
773-281-7637
Schoolyard
3258 N Southport
773-528-8226
Holiday Club
4000 N. Sheridan
773-348-9600
Schubas Tavern 3159 N Southport
773-525-2508
Irish Oak
3511 N. Clark
Sheffield’s
3258 N Sheffield
773-281-4989
Jack’s Bar
2856 N Southport
773-404-8400
Sidetracks
3349 N. Halsted
773-477-9189
Jacklyn’s Bar
3400 N. Broadway
773-404-5149
Sluggers
3540 N Clark
773-248-0055
Jake’s Pub
2932 N Clark
773-248-3318
Smart Bar
3730 N Clark
773-549-4140
Joe’s On Broadway 3563 N Broadway
773-528-1054
Sopo
3418 N. Southport
773-348-0100
John Barleycorns 3524 N. Clark
773-549-6000
Southport Lanes 3325 N. Southport
773-472-6600
Justin’s
3358 N Southport
773-929-4844
Sports Corner
952 W. Addison
773-929-1441
Kit Kat Lounge
3700 N Halsted
773-525-1111
Take 5 Bar
3747. Southport
773-871-5555
L&L Tavern
3207 N. Clark
773-528-1303
Toon’s
3857 N. Southport
773-935-1919
Little Jim’s
3501 N. Halsted
773-871-6116
Town Hall Pub
3340 N Halsted
773-472-4405
Lucky’s 3
472 N. Clark
773-549-0665
Trace
3714 N. Clark
773-477-3400
Mad River
2909 N. Sheffield
773-935-7500
Trader Todd’s
3216 N Sheffield
773-348-3250
Matilda
3101 N Sheffield
773-883-4400
Vaughans Pub
2917 N. Sheffield
773-281-8188
Matisse
674 W. Diversey
773-528-6670
Vines
3554 N. Clark
773-327-8572
Merkles
3516 N Clark
773-244-1025
Wrigleyville North 3900 N Sheridan
773-929-9543
Metro Smart Bar 3730 N Clark
773-549-4140
Yak-Zies Bar
773-525-9200
Monsignor Murphys
773-348-7285
3019 N. Broadway
FACEBOOK.COM/WHATSUPXTRAMAGAZINE
773.213.4597
3527 N Clark
773-325-2319
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BAR DIRECTORY
Where are you going tonight?:
Lincoln Park & Old Town Augie's
1721 W. Wrightwood
773-296-0018
McGinny's Tap
313 W. North
773-943-5228
Bird's Nest
2500 N. Southport
773-472-1502
Mickey's
2450 N. Clark
773-435-0007
Blue's
2519 N. Halsted
773-525-8317
O' Brien's
1528 N. Wells
312-787-3131
Burton's Place
1447 N. Wells
773-664-4699
Old Town Ale
219 W. North
773-944-7020
Burwood Tap
7242 W. Wrightwood
773-525-2593
Old Town Pub
1339 N. Wells
773-266-6789
Clybar
417 N. Clybourn
773-388-1877
O'Malley's West 2249 N. Lincoln
773-935-2719
Corcoran's
1615 N. Wells
773-440-0885
Orso's
1401 N. Wells
773-787-6604
Delilah's
2771 N. Lincoln
773-472-2771
Ravens
2326 N. Clark
773-348-1774
Duffy's
422 W. Diversey
773-549-9090
River Shannon
425 W. Armitage
773-944-5087
Durkin's
810 W. Diversey
773-525-2515
Rocks
1301 W. Schubert
773-472-7728
Elbo Room
2817 N. Lincoln
773-549-5549
Saluki Bar
1208 N. Wells
773-274-1824
Field House Pub 2455 N. Clark
773-348-6489
Suite Lounge
1446 N. Wells
773-787-6106
Four Farthings
2060 N. Cleveland
773-935-2060
The Apartment
2251 N. Lincoln
773-348-5100
Frank's
2503 N. Clark
773-549-2700
The Local Option 1102 W. Webster
773-348-2008
Galway Arms
2442 N. Clark
773-472-5555
The Other Side
2436 N. Clark
773-525-8238
Gamekeepers
345 W. Armitage
773-549-0400
Tin Lizzie
2483 N. Clark
773-549-1132
Glascott's
2158 N. Halsted
773-281-1205
Tonic Room
2447 N. Halsted
773-248-8400
Goose Island
1800 N. Clybourn
773-915-0071
Weeds
1555 N. Dayton
312-943-7815
Halligan's Pub
2274 N. Lincoln
773-472-7940
Wellingtons
1300 W. Wellington
773-528-0654
Halsted Harp
2138 N. Halsted
773-348-3665
Wise Fools Pub 2270 N. Lincoln
773-929-1300
Hidden Shamrock 2732 N. Lincoln
773-883-0304
Witts
773-528-7032
Irish Eyes
773-348-9548
Wrightwood Tap 1059 W. Wrightwood
2
2519 N. Lincoln
Joe's Sports Bar 940 W. Weed
773-337-3486
John Barleycorn 2300 N. Lincoln
773-348-8899
John's Place
1200 W. Webster
773-525-6670
Kelly's Pub
949 W. Webster
773-281-0656
Kendall's Pub
2263 N. Lincoln
773-348-7200
Kincade's
950 W. Armitage
773-348-0010
Kingston Mines
2548 N. Halsted
773-477-4646
Lincoln Station
2432 N. Lincoln
773-472-8100
Lincoln Tap
3010 N. Lincoln
773-868-0060
Lion Head Pub
2251 N. Lincoln
773-348-5100
Max Bar
2247 N. Lincoln
773-549-5884
McGee's
950 W. Webster
773-549-8200
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2913 N. Lincoln
773-459-4949
WWW.WHATSUPXTRA.COM
BAR DIRECTORY
Where are you going tonight?: Northwest
Paddy Macks
4157 N. Pulaski
773-279-9300
Babe’s
4416 N. Milwaukee
773-545-3137
Rabbits
4945 W Foster
773-736-5766
Bill’s Pub
4104 N. Pulaski
773-202-0020
Roman’s
6448 N. Milwaukee
773-467-9827
Brigadoon
5748 W Lawrence
773.777.2403
Sidekicks
4424 W Montrose
773-545-6212
Cabaret Lounge 6101 W. Montrose
773-736-2337
Six Penny Bit
5800 W. Montrose
773-545-2033
Casual Tap
5924 W Montrose
773-283-9490
Thatch Pub
5707 N. Milwaukee
773-763-8179
Charlotte’s Bar
6000 W Gunnison
773-775-3616
Three Counties
5856 N. Milwaukee
773-631-3351
Club Belmont
7844 W. Belmont
773-598-2808
Tommy’s
6954 W Higgins
773-631-4451
Di’s Den
5100 W Irving Park
773-736-7170
Trinity Pub
5943 N. Northwest
773-763-0095
Dugan’s
6051 N. Milwaukee
773-467-5555
Vaughan’s Pub
5485 Northwest
773-631-9206
Edison Park Inn 6713 N. Olmsted
773-775-1404
Windsor Tavern
4530 N. Milwaukee
773-736-3400
Emerald Isle Pub 2537 W Peterson
773-561-6674
Zachary’s
5368 N Milwaukee
773-792-0933
Fantasy Lounge 4400 N Elston
773-685-8083
Filonek’s
6213 N. Milwaukee
773-775-5010
Galvin’s Public
5901 W Lawrence
773-205-0570
Gladstone’s
5734 N. Milwaukee
773-763-3385
Ham Tree Inn
5333 N. Milwaukee
773-792-2072
Harry’s On Elston 5943 N. Elston
773-774-4166
Harwood Bar
6438 W. Montrose
708-867-7781
Hops N Barley
4359 N Milwaukee
773-286-7415
Jet’s Public Hou 6148 N. Milwaukee
773-775-7587
Jimmy Macks
5581 N. Northwest
773-631-1466
Joe E’s Lounge
4206 W Irving Park
773-283-3422
Landmark Pub
5135 N. Oriole
773-867-6533
Lasko’s
5525 N Milwaukee
773-774-9800
Lizard Lounge
3058 W. Irving Park
773-463-7599
Margaret’s
5134 W. Irving Park
773-685-4493
Mary’s Place
6300 N. Milwaukee
773-775-7587
MCM Pub
3906 N. Cicero
773-736-2644
McNamaras
4328 W Irving Park
773-725-1800
Mo Dailey’s
6070 N. Northwest Hwy
773-774-6121
Moretti’s
6727 N. Olmsted
773-631-1223
Mrs. O’Leary’s
4368 N. Milwaukee
773-427-7300
Mug Shots
7718 W. Addison
773-625-8466
Murrays
5522 N Elston
773-774-3466
Night Caps
5007 W Irving Park
773-282-8654
Nil’s Tap
5734 N. Elston
773-594-1288
FACEBOOK.COM/WHATSUPXTRAMAGAZINE
Pre-Bar Routine
CrossFit for the SuperFit CrossFit is a trademarked regimen that is licensed to gyms and certified trainers. Developer Greg Glassman, quoted in The Wall Street Journal, says workouts are most effective when performed with equipment such as weights, medicine balls, and pull-up bars. CrossFit exercises can be as simple as bouncing a weighted ball or jumping off a wooden box. Such exercises and power lifts or push-ups are typically mixed into a session. For people who want a quick sample of a CrossFit workout, one CrossFit training facility in Maryland, offers two routines. The measure of effectiveness is how quickly you can complete a set number of repetitions. Completing a program in 12 minutes, for example, is better than doing it in 15 or 20 minutes. For these starters, however, just do as many as you can without undue stress. As you gain strength over time, you'll be able to do more. •Do three sets of these weight-free exercises: 30 pushups, 40 sit-ups, and 50 squats. •Another routine is to alternate running a quarter of a mile then doing 15 burpees for a total of 15 minutes. Burpees begin in a standing position. Then squat and lower your hands to the floor. Kick your feet back into a push-up position. Then return to the squat and then the standing position.
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BAR DIRECTORY
Where are you going tonight?:
Lakeview West/ Roscoe Village / North-Center / Lincoln Square / Albany Park / Ravenswood Andersonvile 240 Lounge
3948 W. Lawrence
773-267-0474
Huetten Bar
4721 N. Lincoln
773-561-2507
42 Latitude
3341 N Western
773-910-1473
Jury's
4337 N. Lincoln
773-935-2255
Abbey Pub
3420 W. Grace
773-478-4408
Katerina's
1902 W. Irving
773-348-7592
Atlantic Bar
5062 N. Lincoln
773-506-7090
Keenan O' Reilly's 3916 N. Ashland
773-857-3800
Bad Dog
4535 N. Lincoln
773-334-4040
Leadway Bar
5233 N. Damen
773-728-2663
Big Joe’s
1818 W Foster
773-784-8755
Long Room
1612 W. Irving
773-665-4500
Black Rock
3614 N. Damen
773-348-4044
Margie's Pub
4145 N. Lincoln
773-477-1644
Brendan’s Too
3135 W. Montrose
773-463-2771
Mulligan's
2000 W. Roscoe
773-549-4225
Brownstone
3937 N. Lincoln
773-528-3700
Mutiny
2428 N. Western
773-486-7774
Carol’s Pub
4659 N Clark
773-334-2402
Oakwood 83
1969 W. Montrose
773-327-2785
Celtic Crown
4301 N. Western
773-588-1110
O'Donovan's
2100 W. Irving
773-478-2100
Chicago Joe's
2256 W. Irving
773-478-7000
O'Lanagan
2335 W. Montrose
773-583-2252
Chief O'Neills
3471 N. Elston
773-583-3066
Peek Inn
2825 W. Irving Park
773-267-5197
Christina's Place 3759 N. Kedzie
773-463-1768
Rail Bar
4709 N Damen
773-878-9400
Claddagh Ring
773-271-4794
Richochet's
4644 N. Lincoln
773-271-3127
Cody's Public House 1658 W. Barry
773-528-4050
Riverview
1958 W. Roscoe
773-871-1200
Daily's Bar
4560 N. Lincoln
773-561-6198
Roscoe Villiage Pub 2159 W. Addison
773-472-6160
Farraguts
5240 N Clark
773-728-4903
Save More Lounge 4060 N. Lincoln
773-281-1444
Finley Dunnes
3458 N. Lincoln
773-477-7311
Side Street
1456 W. George
773-327-1127
Fizz
3220 N. Lincoln
773-348-6000
Silvie's
1902 W. Irving
773-871-6239
Foley's
1841 W. Irving
773-929-1210
Small Bar
2956 N. Albany
773-509-9888
Four Moon
1847 W. Roscoe
773-929-6666
Stadium West
3188 N. Elston
773-866-2450
Four Shadows
2758 N. Ashland
773-248-9160
Ten Cat Tavern
3931 N. Ashland
773-935-5377
Four Trey's Pub 3333 N. Damen
773-549-8845
The Temple
3001 N. Ashland
773-248-0990
Fuller's Pub
3203 W. Irving
773-478-8060
Uptown Lounge 1136 W. Lawrence
773-878-1136
Gio’s
4857 N. Damen
773-334-0345
Villiage Tap
2055 W. Roscoe
773-883-0817
Hidden Cove
5336 N. Lincoln
773-275-3955
Waterhouse
3407 N. Paulina
773-871-1200
Hidden Cove
5338 N. Lincoln
773-275-6711
Wild Goose
4265 N. Lincoln
773-281-7112
Horseshoe
4115 N. Lincoln
773-248-1366
Windy City Inn
2257 W. Irving
773-588-7088
2306 W. Foster
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TA L E S F R O M T H E C H R I S
Highway to IKEA By Rob Christiansen “You’re lucky if you can avoid talking to the police,” said the expungement attorney. “Wear blinders and you’ll stay out of trouble.” We were offered pigs in a blanket by a circulating waiter but she declined, so I did, too. “Police keep you honest and away from call girls,” she said. “They might be cops. Technically, that’s entrapment, but word to the wise.” She stylishly sipped a vodka and cranberry juice while spinning auras of sophistication and accessibility like plates on which hors d’oeuvres occasionally were offered to us. She wore a green dress, a smiling frog comb in her hair, bracelets, and the sickest pastel-hued pumps with matching purse I’d ever seen. We were standing inside Café Brauer at LPZ. She was 5’7”. “Men marry for convenience motives that don’t pan out and have kids by accident,” she said. I remembered this place used to be a paddle boat storage facility. Now, there’s a line for the caricature artist. My friend Kim is in line. The expungement attorney is on fire. She’s not the girl I married. “Half the men are divorced,” she said. “The other half gets up at seven and makes their kids pancakes. They have chips on their shoulders since they couldn’t close Redhead. They hurried home to sleep, or ‘come to bed,’ an entirely different animal—the two backed beast that thrives on suggestion, whose main habitat is your dreams unless it escapes.” “Like from here,” I said, driving her crazy, based on silent laughter in her dreamy eyes. They, too, were green, though not like her dress…. That was years ago. Now, I drive my family…not just crazy, but to Ikea, in drizzling rain on Saturday, for a sideboard. My motherin-law told us via Skype why we need one. My wife knows I’m not on “board” and encourages me to not abruptly turn around. Her gentle power of persuasion drives me crazy, and that’s why I married her. Distracted by a review of my life choices and the family singing with Donna Summer, I unexpectedly crash through a toll gate on the Kennedy Expressway. There’s an I-Pass on my windshield but I wasn’t in an I-Pass lane. Police pull me over and I resentfully eject the CD. My wife talks them out of ticketing me and that’s why I married her. We all help put the box on top of the car and because of the drizzle as annoying as mother-in-law I also bought a blue tarp. My wife had clandestinely tossed rope from our garage into the trunk. She has foresight, time management- and people-skills, and that’s why I married her. FACEBOOK.COM/WHATSUPXTRAMAGAZINE
Donna Summer and the “Joyride Trio” sing reprisals in the drizzle orchestrated by mother-in-law using acupuncture on my effigy in Effingham. She treats me like she went to Eff U and graduated with Effing honors. I thought Kim was contrarily nice, and that’s why I married her. The twins have at the sideboard like an unopened present on the dining room floor as I leave the house, taking time out from everyone. Mother-in-law is apparently also taking time out because it stopped drizzling. She’s a wet blanket and thinking of her makes me one too. I might as well have sat on top of the car and let the blue tarp drive home. When I hit the sidewalk out of the Red Line, I see a man who literally had hit the sidewalk and wasn’t getting up. He looks like a handcuffed alligator. A “poacher” is sitting on top him as they await a police car. If he agrees to plead guilty in a supervision sentencing deal in order to “avoid” a conviction, his arrest will have to be expunged to keep from haunting him. But he will have to personally pick up his rap sheet (currently $16) and forward it to an expungement attorney (currently @ $850). There’s a filing fee (currently $150) and, potentially, a hearing (currently $300), depending on his “rap sheet.” Otherwise, if the defendant answers “No” to the question, have you ever been convicted of a crime? On a job application, the HR director will mail him a letter stating that due to a “misrepresentation” he made on his application he’s ineligible for hire. The fascinating expungement attorney painted that picture for me in Café Brauer. Kim, who I had recently met, invited me. She, too, worked for the law firm sponsoring the party. I eventually married Kim for her connections, in case I ever needed an expungement attorney. But I only needed her a few times. Kim made sure of that, and that’s why I married her. I look at the guy and size up our dilemmas. I appreciate knowing that, comparatively speaking, I can do what I want; no one is sitting on me. My family is on my back, but at least the cops aren’t. I see Skype as a ridiculously lame weapon. At best, it’s like a water pistol. I have a few beers at Sports Corner with “Matt” Ahari and “Two Can” Stan and go home. My family has joyfully, based on their exciting stories, built the sideboard, and it looks great against a wall. And I see why I married Kim. She knows light carpentry. Our boy and girl look just like us, and they were no boating accident. I see police making me a waffle. My forte is pancakes, and I laugh. I’m a poet and don’t know it. The memory of the “handcuffed alligator” stays with me all my life, one that I shared till death parted me from Kim. Our children and grandchildren speak highly of me. They said they loved Saturday mornings when I made pancakes. I know I drank a few beers today, but I can drive this road. 773.213.4597
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La La’s Love Letters A Birthday Wish Dear La La: Ever since my boyfriend and I moved in together last year, I have been bothered by the amount of time his best friend spends at our house. He stops by anywhere from two to five nights each week, often showing up unannounced. He says he just stopping for “a” beer, which usually turns into three, and doesn't leave till after I’ve gone to bed. At first, my boyfriend acted helpless about it, but when I called him on by Lauren Strec that, he switched to a new defense: “I shouldn’t have to give up my friends just because we live together.” I’m at the end of my rope. Any suggestions? Ropeless Ronda Dear Ropeless: That sucks, and you are justified in your frustration. Why does your man think he has to “give up his friends?” Use that question to reflect on how you worded your request. Relationships are all about compromise: if there is a disagreement on a subject, each of you must give a little and sacrifice a little, in order to meet a middle ground. Try talking to your guy again, but state upfront that you, by no means, want him to give up friendships. Don’t demand, but rather communicate that you want to reach something that is fair to both of you, since you both share a space, and are indeed affected by each other’s lifestyles. Ask if you could work out a schedule of sorts, where there are days that his friend can totally pull an Adele and “turn up out of the blue, uninvited,” and other days that are off-limits for him to just pop in. Balance out that shit! Dear LaLa: My girlfriend wants to be a singer and she is really good and super beautiful. I ‘m afraid that she really has a chance of “making it” and when she becomes famous will dump me like a hot potato. Do I encourage her or tell her to give it up for the sake of saving our relationship? Potato Pete Dear Potato: If you two have a strong bond, then her fame will not matter. If there is a void somewhere, the fame will just be a catalyst to what was already inevitable. Another catalyst? NOT encouraging her. Speaking from personal experience, nothing causes more resentment then being with a guy who doesn’t cheer you on. I’ll still get pissed thinking about that piece of crap. ANYWAY, with that said, stand by her, and if things go well, ride the wave WITH her. If she leaves, then know that it’s better off sooner than later.
Lauren is a spokesmodel for tv, radio, live events, blogging and social media. Connect at Facebook. com/LaurenStrec for tidbits, news and fun photos
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There is a fellow who is talking to his buddy and says, “I don’t know what to get my wife for her birthday. She has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants. I’m stumped.” His buddy says, “I have an idea. Why don’t you make up a certificate that says she can have two hours of great sex, any way she wants it. She’ll probably be thrilled!” The first fellow does just that. The next day, his buddy asks, “Well, did you take my suggestion? How did it turn out?” “She loved it. She jumped up, thanked me, kissed me on the mouth, and ran out the door yelling, ‘I’ll see you in two hours!’
A Great Effort A 70 year old man went to his doctor's office to get a sperm count. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring me back a sample tomorrow." The next day, the 70 year old man reappears at the doctor's office and gives him the jar, which is as clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor asks, "What happened?" and the man explains, "Well, doctor, it's like this. First, I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then, I tried with my left hand, still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, but nothing. Then her left, but nothing. She even tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with the teeth out, and still nothing. We even called up the lady next door and she tried with both hands, and her mouth too, but nothing." The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?" The old man replied, "Yep, but no matter what we tried, we couldn't get the darn jar open!"
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6070 N. Northwest Hwy Next to Norwood Park Metra station and right on Northwest Hwy 773 -774-6121
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Kelly’s Pub
80 949 W. WEBSTER
773- 281- 0656
Celebrating
Years of serving beers
VISIT US AT KELLYSPUB.COM FOR UPCOMING EVENTS
Sunday: Monday: Tuesday: Wednesday:
$15 Miller Lite Buckets & $3 Lagunitas Draft $1 Coors Drafts - $1 Tacos $2 Bud & Bud Light Bottles - $1 Burgers
Thursday:
$8 Coors Light Pitchers + $5 3 Olive Vodka Bombs & $5 All Sandwiches $4 Goose Island Green Line Drafts $12 Coors Buckets
Friday: Saturday: 32 WHATS UP XTRA
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.25 Cent Wings
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