Wassup February 2012
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CHICAGO
FIGHT CARD XTRA ASK THE WINO SWEET “SHOUTOUTS”
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JANUARY BARTENDER OF THE MONTH IS...
Maura from
Glascott’s Groggery 2158 N Halsted St
Vote for your favorite bartender text 773.288.9400 or go to facebook.com/wassupxtramagazine Bartender: Josie Signature Drink: Captain O’ Cranky
Bartender: Kristina
Where to Find Her: Oakwood 83
Where to Find Her: Wrigleyville North
Ingredients: Captain Morgan, orange vodka, pineapple and cranberry juices Words of Wisdom: “If you can’t handle the snow, it’s time to take a trip with Captain ‘O.” Bartender: Lamara Signature Drink: Dragonberry Mojito Where to Find Her: Playbook Ingredients: Bacardi Dragonberry, muddled fresh mint and strawberries Words of Wisdom: “You know you’re drunk when the “gOooSe turns GReY, the buLL turns ReD, and the MoON turns bLUe!” #takeacab.”
Signature Drink: Oh Baby
Ingredients: Makers Mark, sweet vermouth, soda, and secret ingredients Words of Wisdom: “A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.”
Bartender: Melainie Signature Drink: Candy Apple Margarita Where to Find Her: Fiesta Cantina Ingredients: Sour Apple Schnapps, grenadine, margarita mix Words of Wisdom: “You have to risk going too far to discover just how far you can really go.”
Rules: All service employees are eligible to win. The employee who receives the most votes in the month wins. You can submit your vote by texting (773) 288-9400 or emailing wassupxtra@yahoo.com or go to facebook.com/wassupxtramagazine. Only one vote is counted per person and voting polls close on February 20th.
*The The Pub Crawl will begin at the employee of the months bar and the limo bus will accommodate 24 passengers. Gratuity not included and must be paid prior to service email: wassupxtra@yahoo.com
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Chicagoland is filled with extraordinary nightclubs, unparalleled dining venues and some of the biggest events in the world! But, do you ever wonder where the locals go? Where are the best neighborhood bars, eateries, and local festivals? Where can you find live music, karaoke and trivia nights? Who has the best food and drink specials around? If you are ready to experience the Chicagoland area like the locals do then make sure to pick up your free copy of Wassup Xtra Magazine at any of the 300+ locations in the Chicago and Southwest Suburbs or check out our Facebook page daily to find out where you should be going tonight!
TABLE OF CONTENTS FRONT PAGE at roadhouse 66 TAKEN by Lisa
OUR STAFF Lisa Hanrahan Sales Director
3 bartender of the month 6 ask the wino
ANGEL HERNANDEZ MUSIC Writer
8 news of interest 11 sodoku and crossword puzzle 14 are you smarter than chester
Robert Christiansen Column Writer
15 pub quiz
Little Dwayne Available Services for Leprechaun Private Parties Mix & Mingle and more... Go to littledwayne.com for info and contact information The name Wassup Xtra Magazine is a registered trade name, and use of this name is strictly prohibited. The contents of this publication are copyrighted Wassup Xtra Chicago Magazine -2011 We encourage our readers to write their stories, send photos, and make comments. All submissions sent to us by phone, email, fax, or handwritten become the property of Wassup Xtra Chicago Magazine.
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16 MOVIE review and horoscope
Timothy Parfitt Column Writer
18 tattle tales 21 FIGHT CARD XTRA
Gillian Verdico Events Writer
22 BAND INTERVIEW 29 POOL TRICK SHOT 31 karaoke open mic trivia CHECK OUT
Wassup Xtra Magazine CHICAGO / SOUTHWEST EDITIONS
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amber raAB Photographer
We are always on the lookout for dynamic writers, photographers and sales staff to contribute to our publication If you are interested in joining our team or interested in advertising opportunities contact us at 773-288-9400 or email: wassupxtra@yahoo.com
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Don’t miss our Super Roll and Super Bowl Party February 5, 2012
Skee Ball Tourney 12pm - 5pm
$5 Entry Fee / Prizes and Giveaways Drink Specials / Free Food Buffet during the game
2158 N. Halsted glascotts.com 773-281-1205
Celebrate Valentine’s Day at Glascott’s
single tuesday and mingle party feb 14 Play post office and meet a special someone. Give-away for the person with the most notes passed to them! $ Valentine Themed Drink Specials
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$10 Pitchers Bud & Bud Light every Bulls and Hawks Games
FEBRUARY SPECIALS Beer of the Month $4 COORS LIGHT ALUMINUM PINTS
Sunday
$6 Glascott’s Homemade Bloody Marys $15 Domestic Buckets & $3 22oz Lite Drafts
Thursday $3 Domestic Bottles & $4 Call Drinks
Friday $4 Stella Drafts & $5 Red Bull Bombs Saturday $3 Bud Light Drafts & $10 Bud Light Pitchers PARTY ROOM AVAILABLE FOR ALL EVENTS CALL J.R. @ 773.281.1205
Roger, who was 19 years old, was buying an expensive bracelet, to surprise his girlfriend on Valentine's Day. The jeweler inquired, “Would you like your girlfriend's name engraved on it?”
Out & About @
Glascott’s
2158 N. Halsted
Roger thought for a moment, grinned, then answered, “No, instead engrave ‘To my one and only love’.” The jeweler smiled and said, “Yes, sir; how very romantic of you.” Roger retorted with a glint in his eye, “Not exactly romantic, but very practical. This way, if we break up, I can use it again.”
Don’t Forget... Valentine’s Day: Tuesday Feb 14th
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Fat Tuesday: Tuesday Feb 21st
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OAKWOOD 83
$3 PBR Everyday
BAR & GRILL
Ask The Wino...
OPPA
FREE PRIVATE PARTY ROOM
Open 5pm
til 4am 5am Sat 7 Days a Week
Up to 60 people Call Gus or Victor
Cold Drinks / Food
1959 W. Montrose
773.327.2785
Wino: Wayne “Noodles” Nussbaum Smells Like: Boonesfarm “Tickle Pink” Likes: Alleycats and the Chicago Blackhawks Dislikes: Pillow fights and feathers up my nose
Ramon the Fitness Instructor asks: I have a secret fetish. When my wife goes out on her “Girls Night Out” each month I put on her sexy underwear and enjoy snuggling up with a glass of wine and some fast food. Do you think I should come clean with her? Wino: Man your makin’ my hairy nuggets ache just thinking about it. I think you say f**k the truth and definitely them Taco Bell bean burritos or you’re gonna have a hell of a time explaining how them smelly doody marks got on her fancy lace panties.
Priscilla the Flight Attendant asks: I met the most wonderful guy a few weeks ago on one of my flights and thought he was the one until a few days ago. We began fooling around and to my surprise I realized he wasn’t circumcised. I’m not sure what I should do? Wino: So ya never handled an uncut unit before, huh? It’s just like eatin’ pig in a blanket baby. Just blow it up like a balloon and have fun with it!
Out & About @
Oakwood 83
1959 W. Montrose
Shannon the Graphics Designer asks: What ONE body part, besides the obvious 'bits & pits', do you obsess on making sure is clean every time you shower or it will drive you completely nuts? Wino: My sexy, hairy belly. The women in my neighborhood are hypnotized just thinking about the jewels at the end of my treasure trail. Plus that sexy bump keeps me warm in the winter when the alley cats curl up on it and lick my belly button. It gives me a funny, happy feeling.
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Where there is love there is life. Mohandas Gandhi
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Polk Street Pub 548 W. Polk
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News of Interest The Proud Groundhog Has A Day Of Its Own… It was this critter's good fortune to emerge from hibernation on February 2, Candlemas Day. Candles have been blessed on this day since the 11th Century. A Scottish couplet proclaimed, "If Candlemas be fair and clear, there'll be two winters in the year."
It's a fact ... An article published by the Bureau of Labor Statistics states that the weekly earnings of workers who work an extended workweek, which is between 45 and 99 hours, earn at least 32 percent more money than those who work a standard workweek, which is between 35 and 44 hours.
The ancient Romans, who have been blamed for almost everything, are said to have kept a vigil for the hedgehog. They thought that if the hedgehog could see his shadow in the moonlight, there would be six more weeks of winter.
No need to buy organic…
Over time, the practice served as a folk holiday in Europe and Britain. The Germans brought the custom to the United States. Because they couldn't find a hedgehog, they made the groundhog (wood chuck) the subject of their event. They believed that if the he was frightened by his shadow on a sunny day, he would go back into hibernation and stay there for up to six weeks.
Avocados: Just washing their thick skin before cutting into them will get rid of any residual pesticide.
Groundhog Day came into being during the late 1800s, thanks to the combined efforts of Clymer H. Freas, a newspaper editor, and W. Smith, an American congressman and newspaper publisher. They organized and popularized a yearly festival in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania. The festival features a groundhog named Punxsutawney Phil who is used to foretell how long the winter will last. In addition to Pennsylvania, Groundhog Day events are held Nebraska, Tennessee, Georgia, Ohio, Arkansas, California, and other states. It's also popular in Canada, where a groundhog named Wiarton Willy is used to predict the length of winter. Willy lives in Wiatron, Bruce County, Ontario.
Nutrition scientists reporting in Health Magazine say there's no point in spending extra money to buy organic forms of the following foods.
Eggs: They have no higher contaminant level whether or not they are labeled organic. Spices: They are eaten in small quantities so any risk of nonorganic is minimal.
Random Acts of Kindness Week: Feb. 13-19… This celebration is held to increase awareness of kindness and its benefits to both the giver and receiver. Anonymous acts make the giver feel good for the rest of the day or evening. The odd thing about a random act of kindness is that you can't plan it in advance. All you can do is recognize an opportunity to kindly help someone. From February 13 to 19, you have an entire week to become something of a hero. A person overloaded with packages will be surprised and pleased when you offer to carry one. The co-worker who drops papers on the floor will admire your kindness when you stop and help to pick them up.
Wet Dog Shaking, Why Does He Do It? One of the world's great questions has finally been answered by Georgia Tech researchers: Why do dogs shake when they're wet? Their article, titled "The Wet-dog Shake," was published in the journal Fluid Dynamics. The nature of such demonstrations was investigated by a fluid mechanics physicist and his learned colleagues. They first filmed a Labrador retriever, next a number of other dogs, as well as other mammals, as they shook themselves dry. It is an important process, especially for wild animals, because the ability to dry wet fur or hair is critical to temperature regulation. Using the films to measure periods of oscillation (how fast the animal rotates its body) to dry its fur, they discovered that, for a Labrador retriever, it was 4.3 hertz (cycles per second). The physicists also determined that the centripetal force necessary to eject water has to exceed surface tension. They found that the smaller
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the animal, the more times per second they must oscillate to dry. A mouse, for example, shakes at 27 hertz and a bear at 4 hertz. These scientific findings were described in North American Hunter magazine. The study was far more detailed than what is described in this article, but you get the idea. Dogs use the centripetal force of shaking to expel water from their hair in order to regulate their core body temperature. So, when your dog soaks you from the waist down, there is hard science behind the act. It is nature, not a decision he makes to aggravate you!
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Wrigleyville North 9543 Sports Bar 3900773N.929Sheridan Live Music by Out & About @
Wrigleyville North
3900 N. Sheridan
JUST US Band Waylan Jennings & Johnny Cash
Every Friday & Saturday
Daily Drink Specials Pool Table
1 block south of the red line Sheridan Stop
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& 2 blocks north of Wrigleyfield - walk 2 blocks north on Sheffield
Phil, a smart and handsome young man, dressed in the latest fashion, walked into this local pub. He noticed a woman gazing at him without blinking her big eyes. Phil felt flattered so he walked up to the woman and said in his deepest voice, “I'll do anything you wish, beautiful lady, for just $20 but on one condition.” The woman appeared to be trapped in the moment and asked as if in a trance, “What's your condition?” Phil answered, “Tell me your wish in just three words.” There was a long pause, the woman opened her purse, counted out the money and handed it to the man along with her address. She then looked deeply into his eyes and whispered, “Clean my house.”
When a woman on the staff of the school where I worked became engaged, a friend and colleague offered her some advice. “The first ten years are the hardest.” “How long have you been married?” she asked. “Ten years”, he replied.
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A little girl asked her mother, "How did the human race appear?" The mother answered, "God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so was all mankind made.." Two days later the girl asked her father the same question.. The father answered, "Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved." The confused girl returned to her mother and said, "Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?" The mother answered, "Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his."
Out & About @
Fiesta Cantina 3407 N. Clark
All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.
February
Charles M. Schulz, "Peanuts" creator
Food
Polish pre-Lenten Punchki donuts are great for any time, any holiday… A traditional pre-Lenten Polish "donut" is puffy, tasty and made with ingredients that are not the usual stuff of donuts. Though the Punchki (also named Paczki or Pounchki) is called a donut, it has no hole. At fine bakeries across the country, foodies of all extractions wait their turn in long lines to buy their Punchkis. While many bakeries offer them for a week, others have them only on Fat Tuesday or Ash Wednesday. Polish grandmothers often guarded their recipes and wouldn't share, but Lorraine Grochowska-Kiefer surveyed reliable sources and thinks this one is the best recipes available (they can also be filled with jelly). She posted it on culture.polishsite.us/articles. Potatoes can be microwaved and put in a blender. Scald milk, stir in butter, sugar and potatoes. Add flavorings. Sprinkle yeast over 1/2 cup lukewarm potato water. Stir. Mix together with beaten eggs. Gradually stir in the flour mixture to make soft dough. Knead. Let rise until double in a buttered bowl for 1 to 2 hours. Punch dough down and roll out on a floured board to 1/2 inch thick or less.
Punchki: Little Pillow (Polish Donuts) 1 1/2 cup mashed potatoes 1/2 cup warm potato water 2 packs dry yeast 1/2 cup sugar 3 egg yolks plus 1 egg 1 teaspoon vanilla 1 1/2 cups milk 1/2 teaspoon mace 1/2 teaspoon nutmeg 1/2 cup butter 6-7 cups flour 1 teaspoon baking powder 1 tablespoon rum (or more) 3/4 cup powder sugar
Cut circles with a glass and place them on waxed paper. Let them rise about 30 minutes. Fry or refrigerate and let them come to room temperature the next morning before frying for breakfast. Fry in a heavy pan, adding 1 teaspoon water to cold vegetable oil. Turn only once. Drain on absorbent paper and sprinkle with confectioner's sugar.
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Super Bowl Giveaway 2 - 7 Day trips to Hawaii! $35 package includes food, drink and entry into the rafe
Tue
$3 Bud & $4 Sam Adams Oktoberfest LIVE MUSIC
Wed
TRIVIA NIGHT $10 Off All Bottles of Wine
Thur
KARAOKE NIGHT WITH LUIS $3 Coors Light Bottles & $4 Sam Adams Oktoberfest
Fri
LIVE MUSIC
SAT
KARAOKE NIGHT WITH LUIS
Out & About @
Four Farthings 2060 N. Cleveland
We have ESPN3 for all college hoops games! Catch College Hoops Here! More Photos on p24 & facebook.com/wassupxtramagazine
2060 N. Cleveland 773.935.2060 www.fourfarthings.biz
SODOKU Rules: Every column, row and 3x3 box must have numbers 1 to 9
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H�p�� V���n����’� D�� Valentine's Day has mysterious, romantic origins… On February 14, lovers, friends and family members exchange Valentine cards or gifts as tokens of caring and love. Valentine's Day is one of the most romantic days of the year. Its history, however, it is shrouded in mystery. One legend contends that Valentine was a priest who served during the third century in Rome. When Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made the best soldiers, he outlawed marriage for young men. Valentine defied Claudius and performed marriages for young lovers in secret. When it was discovered, Claudius ordered that he be put to death. According to another legend, Valentine sent the first valentine greeting himself. While in prison, he fell in love with a young girl who often visited him. Before his death, he wrote her a letter, which he signed "From your Valentine." Others claim that the Christian church celebrated Valentine's feast day in February to compete with celebrations of the pagan Lupercalia festival, which began on February 15. It was a fertility festival dedicated to Faunus, the Roman god of agriculture. In Great Britain, Valentine was one of the most popular saints. Valentine's Day began to be celebrated in the seventeenth century. By the 18th century, it was common for friends and lovers to exchange tokens of affection or handwritten notes. Some years later, printed cards began to replace written letters. They were an easy way to express emotions in a time when direct expression of one's feelings was discouraged. In the 1840s, Esther A. Howland began to sell the first massproduced valentines in America. According to the Greeting Card Association, an estimated 1 billion valentine cards are sent each year, making Valentine's Day the second largest cardsending holiday of the year. About 2.6 billion cards are sent for Christmas.
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Sweet Shout Outs Sending a shout out to my Hetero-Life Partner (HLP4L) Melissa! Happy Valentine’s Day to the only Valentine who has never let me down in 22 years! Love you! XOXO… Pooh Maureen Happy Valentine’s Day Cracka Jack…I love you so much! Love always…Nic Nic ;) Happy Valentine’s Day to my Slagers family… You all have been sweethearts! Love…Nicole Sending a shout out to all of the Sexxy Valentine's out there!!! ;) Here's wishing each and every one of you the Happiest Valentine's Day EVER!!!!!!! ;) xoxoxoxoxo Love…Michele from Oleary's in Midlothian Kisses to my BF! Love…Lissa Jack I love you... Melissa Twa…I never thought I would meet someone like you. Kisses and Cuddles…M Mack Daddy…I’d wait 25 years all over again to find you, it was worth it! I love you…Lisa To Bull…You are my soul mate, my love, and my best friend...I look forward to spending the rest of my life with you! I love you Boo Boo :-) Love Always & Forever…Lia To my husband Lamont Kelso…I love you with all my <3, you’re my rock my, soul mate. You complete me! With Love…You Wifey Cali To Slice…Happy 1st Valentine's Day Babe. LLY and hope for many more together. Love…Melbow
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BOOK REVIEW
Good Strategy Bad Strategy: The Difference and Why It Counts Author Richard Rumelt
Developing Strategy is a Problem-Solving Activity… Did you ever wonder why reaching your company's objectives can be so difficult? Richard Rumelt thinks it may be that you never had an actual strategy in the first place. Developing a strategy is the main task of a leader, whether they are the CEO of a Fortune 100 company, an entrepreneur, a church pastor, or a government official. Rumelt, of UCLA School of Management, is the author of Good Strategy Bad Strategy: The Difference and Why it Counts. Rumelt says that most of the business books today are about motivation and how to get people to reach for the sky. But, if you do not have a clear business strategy your associates will have a difficult time understanding what it is they are reaching for. Rumelt says there is a tendency to confuse apple-pie values, fluffy packages, and buzzwords with financial goals and how to go about reaching them. Goal setting is not the same as strategy. Though it is logical to confuse the two, strategy is a separate exercise. The strategist's job is to figure out what key things need to be done in order to advance the organization. Good Strategy Bad Strategy uses fascinating examples from business, nonprofit, and military affairs to bring pragmatic ideas to life. The detailed examples range from strategies used by Apple to General Motors, from the two Iraq wars to Afghanistan, from a small local market to Wal-Mart, from NVIDIA to Silicon Graphics, from Cisco Systems to Paccar, and from Global Crossing to the 2007-2008 financial crises. Rumelt's nine sources of power, beginning with using leverage and focusing on growth, are eye opening and practical tools. He says the heart of a good strategy is insight into the nature of the situation, its hidden power, and an appropriate response. Insight can be cultivated with Rumelt's advice for guiding your thinking.
By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest.
Good Strategy Bad Strategy: The Difference and Why It Confucius Counts by Richard Rumelt, Crown Publishing. $28.00 at bookstores. email: wassupxtra@yahoo.com FACEBOOK.COM/WASSUPXTRAMAGAZINE
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Are You Smarter Than CHESTER “The Sock Monkey”? 1. What percentage of U.S. women send themselves flowers on Valentine's Day, 3%, 15%, or 22%?
Out & About @
Carol’s Pub 4659 N. Clark
2. Texas. Alabama, or California produces 60 percent of American roses? 3. Approximately 25, 69, 110, or 199 million roses, the majority red, will be sold and delivered within a three-day time period in February? 4. About 3%, 5%, or 13% of pet owners will give Valentine's Day gifts to their pets? 5. Hallmark has over 500, 949, or 1330 different cards specifically for Valentine's Day? 6. In the United States, 10%, 35%, or 64% of men do not make plans in advance for a romantic Valentine's Day with their sweethearts? 7. In Victorian times it was considered an offer of marriage, bad luck, or a sexual advance to sign a Valentine's Day card? 8. Some people used to believe that if a woman saw a robin flying overhead on Valentine's Day, it meant she would marry a sailor, a doctor, or a giggalo? 9. Mothers, Hookers, or Teachers will receive the most Valentine's Day cards? 10. The “What a Young Girl Ought to Know”, the “Kama Sutra”, or “Hustler” is believed to be the oldest sex manual in existence?
Answers 64% Bad Luck Sailor Teachers Kama Sutra tra
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CAROL’S PUB
PUB QUIZ
Elephants 1. What fictional character was friends with an elephant named Tantor? a-Mowgli, b-Tarzan, c-Thomas the Tank Engine, d-Curious George. 2. What was the name of the queen who ruled with King Babar? a-Maya, b-Cathy, c-Ntombi, d-Celeste. 3. Who directed the 1980 film drama The Elephant Man? a-David Lynch, b-Martin Scorsese, c-Barry Brown, d-Ken Loach. 4. What was the name of the mouse who befriended Dumbo the elephant? a-Matthew, b-Timothy, c-Ralph, d-Gus. 5. Who filmed the electrocution of an elephant named Topsy in 1903? a-Nikola Tesla, b-Henry Ford, c-Thomas Edison, d-Alexander Graham Bell. 6. What name is given to a dangerous male elephant that lives outside a troop? a-Rogue, b-Bull, c-Harlequin, d-Fiddler. 7. What deity in the Hindu pantheon has the head of an elephant? a-Jaganneth, b-Shasta, c-Ganesha, d-Agni.
4659 North Clark at the corner of Clark & Leland in Uptown, Chicago (773) 334.2402 carolspubchicago.com
LIVE COUNTRY & WESTERN MUSIC
1 VOTED e#Bar t i Late Ncago by in Chi ago.com! POOL TABLE, DARTS B N CChic and TELEVISED SPORTS!
MON $1 Draft, $1.50 Domestic Bottles, $5 Pitchers $2.75 Domestic Bottles Domestic Bottles, $1.50 Busch Bottles TUE $2 WED LIVE BAND + Jam w/ Country Claude, 9p - 4a THU World Class KAROAKE, 9p - 4a FRI LIVE BAND, Diamondback, 9p - 4a; $50 raffle SAT LIVE BAND, Diamondback, 9p - 5a; $50 raffle World Class KARAOKE, 9p - 4a Sunday Come on SUN Funday in!
in cash raffles evey Friday and Saturday Mon,$100 Tue 9a - 2a / Wed, Thur, Fri, Sun 11a - 4a / Sat 11a - 5a
Mon, Tue 9a - 2a / Wed, Thu, Fri, Sun 11a - 4a / Sat 11a - 5a Carol’s Kitchen serves Hot Sandwiches Late!
Carol’s Kitchen serves Hot Sandwiches Late!
Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow. Melody Beattie, author of Codependent No More
8. What Carthaginian general led an attack on Rome leading elephants over the Alps? a-Scipio, b-Hamilcar, c-Hannibal, d-Alexander. 9. New Yorkers were convinced of the safety of the Brooklyn Bridge after what showman led a parade of elephants across the bridge? a-Casey Jones, b-Robert Falcon Scott, c-John Philip Sousa, d-P.T. Barnum. 10. Which SEC football team features a mascot named Big Al in an elephant costume? a-University of Florida, b-University of Alabama, c-University of Georgia, d-Vanderbilt University.
Answers to Pub Quiz ‘Elephants’
6-a, Rogue 7-c, Ganesha 8-c, Hannibal 9-d, P.T. Barnum 10-b, University of Alabama
1-b, Tarzan 2-d, Celeste 3-a, David Lynch 4-b, Timothy 5-c, Thomas Edison
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MOVIE REVIEW
HAYWIRE Reviewed by Timothy Parfitt
Haywire is a hard-hitting action thriller that doesn’t pull any punches. Its biggest asset is Gina Carrano, a former MMA boxer making her acting debut. While her acting ability may be called into question, her ass-kicking ability is undeniable. Over the course of the movie, she rains down punishment on the many men who betrayed her during her career as black-ops super-contractor. Her main target is Kenneth (Ewan McGregor) her former boss and flame. Then there’s a steady stream of hunky co-assassins (Michael Fassbender, Channing Tatum) who incur her wrath. Carrano does her own stunts, and the fights are brutal. “Don’t think of her as a woman,” one agent warns another, but in the end they all seem to underestimate her. Steven Soderberg (Traffic, Ocean’s Eleven) directed the movie, and his style, cool soundtrack and punchy editing make up for some of the holes in the script. We see a lot of double-crossing and exotic locales, but who’s doing what to whom isn’t always clear. Anyways, we scoot back and forth between Barcelona, Dublin, and upstate New York to watch a kidnapping, a great car chase and a whole lot of fisticuffs. Michael Douglas, Antonio Banderas and Bill Paxton are all solid in bit parts. Supposedly this movie was finished years ago, and the studio sat on it until now. I guess they don’t think that audiences appreciate smart action movies. Don’t worry, Killer Transforming Rubix-Cubes from Space 4 is coming soon.
FEBRUARY HOROSCOPE ARIES: Step away from it to get a better view of the problem. Detaching yourself temporarily can give you a different perspective and a new angle on possible solutions. TAURUS: You now know that handling a financial situation will take discipline and creativity. Take appropriate steps to move forward and track your progress. A written financial plan is a good start. GEMINI: When positive attention is showered upon you, you bask in its glory. But when days pass without it, life seems boring. Smooth it out by calmly accepting praise but realizing it doesn't happen all the time.
LIBRA: Here comes Valentine's Day. Don't forget to make a gesture of caring for your loved one even if it's one flower or one chocolate heart. SCORPIO: If you think there's edginess in your partner's voice, there probably is. Don't ignore it. Find out what the issue is and explain it or do something about it. SAGITTARIUS: Good fortune is coming your way in February. Recognize it, cultivate it, and reap the benefits. Some aspects of the situation will require diplomacy.
CANCER: Because of who you are, you influence others. They are observing you and may follow your lead. Take them toward diligence, honesty and fairness.
CAPRICORN: You have to dream about it first. Though the dream is important and augments planning, its action that brings the results you want. Roll up your sleeves.
LEO: When you live or work with other people, it's possible that you'll hear an unflattering comment. Don't take it personally. Things happen, and you can't please everyone.
AQUARIUS: Love and friendship work well together. If you're single, don't overlook a relationship with a person who could be more than a friend. It could create balance and security in your life.
VIRGO: You may think you're too busy to do much about your health. But in your heart, you know ignoring it is a form of laziness, one that can have serious effects. Check that schedule and put yourself first.
PISCES: Sometimes you feel like you're between a rock and a hard place, and no matter what choice you make, it won't be perfect. But it could put you on a path to understanding the cause and effect.
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TAT T L E TA L E S
Suitcase Poor Tom isn’t literally poor. He’s worse. He’s a sap though he isn’t literally from a tree. He’s the branch with no offshoots, unlike his sibling who makes twigs, offshoots or fruit. In other words, Tom has no kids, and his married brother who couldn’t make it has three. But Tom brings his Arizona story to the hospital, and that has to be worth two kids. A short while ago Tom and a girlfriend went to Arizona for a few days primarily to attend a wedding she invited him to.
By Rob Christiansen
Tom doesn’t often see his parents since he moved away. Although he calls, his Arizona story isn’t meant for conveyance by phone. Tom flew from Chicago to Orlando and drove 100 miles to the hospital. The only mistake he made was to open the trunk of the rented Aveo in the hospital parking lot and unwittingly reveal his suitcase to the landscapers, and then close the trunk without having removed anything. Tom heard his mom and dad talking as he walked into the room. Mom was sitting on the bed. Dad hadn’t been feeling well at home and was sitting in a chair between his bed and the window, unshaven but not looking or sounding sick. He was connected with tubes to somewhere but the appearance was not frightful since he seemed well. Greetings ensued. Mom said his diagnosis is pending test results. A small table before him bore a newspaper and a menu. A glass of ice water with a straw was on the windowsill. The TV was on. Disappointingly, Tom’s Arizona story fell flat, and he ran out of gas. Mom criticized him and dad scratched his head. Tom’s brother would never quit on a story, not with a four-piece household backing him on tambourine. Tom’s a cappella rendition of the Arizona story lacked the irony necessary to sugar coat an emerging truth. But, if Tom lived his brother’s life, there would be no Arizona story, so score one for irony. Tom grew distracted in his story and preoccupied with the tin can outside. The landscapers saw the suitcase. It contains mostly t-shirts, a bathing suit, sandals and “jorts,” but they don’t know that. From the Phoenix airport to the Gilbert hotel, Cindy races the red Camaro like Danica Patrick. Well, maybe we’re going 95 MPH, but I am unable to glance toward the speedometer. She’s only behind the wheel because she won’t take no for an answer. In the otherwise tranquil desert, she dares the windshield to earn its name tonight. I should write that down before the speed and deafening roar kill us. Though I sit at Cindy’s right hand, she’ll have to hit a wall to resolve my feelings of utter helplessness on this highway. My thoughts fly like
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the car and I see the end of the road. Tom Mix. I’d rather be at the office. Midnight at the Oasis. Tom Mix. “They were wearing seatbelts.” My attraction to her was physical, please forgive me. Tom Mix. Pelle Lindbergh. We recount the episode in the morning at free continental breakfast, and she teases me for having been scared. I deny it, of course. Tom hadn’t taken additional insurance on the Aveo. Maybe if he filed a police report over the suitcase, he wouldn’t have to pay for damage if he shows the police report to the car rental people. That sounds like a plan. The doctor walked into the room and said Tom’s dad has pneumonia but in all likelihood can go home tomorrow. She owned a Mustang, and that was why he let her drive the Camaro, though she usually walked all over him anyway. In a Gilbert CVS he bought and paid for her tampons, hairspray, gum, teeth whitening strips and Pepto Bismol. He was glad she didn’t smoke cigarettes. A nurse appeared at some point after the doctor left the room and described the care dad will need at home, and Tom thought of the landscapers and Ms. Carefree. He ended up dropping her off at the wedding but not attending it because he had complained about paying for her personal items and she called him cheap. The timing of the argument wasn’t good. He drove to Scottsdale and hung out in bars, mostly drinking no-alcohol beer, and picked her up from the reception when she called, drunk. There’s no rhyme or reason why he does things or listens to beautiful women like a puppy dog. Why did he open the trunk of the Aveo if he didn’t have to? He had to make sure the suitcase was still there. Had it escaped from the trunk on his way to the hospital? A gray Aveo is not a red convertible with the top down. This Florida trip is comparatively boring. Where’s the blonde when he needs her? Airing out the story Tom realized he'd erred as a human in Arizona. He’d bailed on it and begun complaining to his parents about losing a baseball cap. Using a computer in the Gilbert hotel lobby at 7:00 am on departure day, he slyly changed his flight and cancelled Cindy’s because he thought he'd heard her talking on the sly to some guy on her cell phone at 4:00 am in the bathroom. He'd pretended to be asleep to avoid a new argument. At 10:00 am he told the desk clerk she was still sleeping and checked out and then drove the convertible to the airport. She eventually advised him via text never to contact her again. Tom thought about her now and wished he hadn't mistreated her, even though she had taken advantage of him and he was thrilled to get even. Theoretically, she could be here. But he will survive this hospital visit and go check on the Aveo soon. Everything will be OK. No one cares about his suitcase. And the news about his dad is good, too.
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GRAND GRAND OPENING OPENING COMING COMING IN IN FEBRUARY FEBRUARY 2012 2012
6070 N. Northwest Hwy Next to Norwood Park Metra station and right on Northwest Hwy
Full Kitchen Serving Lunch and Dinner 4,400 sq ft bar and restaurant area with fireplace seating 27 TV’s for all your sports action Private Party Rooms DJ and Live Music
Go to MODAILEYS.COM or MO DAILEY’S on FACEBOOK for Opening Dates and Grand Opening Specials
Mo Dailey’s The owners of Mo Dailey’s are diligently working day and night to make sure their doors are open to the public this February. The new 4400 square foot tavern is located next to the Norwood Park Metra station at 6070 N Northwest Hwy and looks to be an awesome addition to the Northwest side of Chicago. The establishment is named after the late Maurice “Mo” Dailey, District Commander for the Chicago Police Department. The building has a unique décor with custom made stone, brick, and woodwork and the inside of the building is decorated with Firefighter/Police themed memorabilia from the early 1900’s. The tavern has been equipped with 27 televisions from 47” to 80” making it the perfect spot to gather with friends to catch all your Chicago sports action. Another welcoming attribute is the raised seating space by a cozy fireplace, perfect for warming up with one of the many weekly drink specials that will be offered. With a fully equipped kitchen Mo’s will offer a fresh food menu by their very own chef, which will include burgers, seafood, wraps, salads and more. With its many amenities, Mo’s is sure to become a local favorite in no time at all! The building is equipped with a classic room for private parties up to 35 people and is hoping to become a platform for the community
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to host events for local organizations and foundations. They will offer a DJ on weekend nights and host live music on select Sunday’s. With Spring just around the corner, Mo Dailey’s boasts 1000 square feet of outdoor space perfect for those patrons that enjoy drinking and dining “al fresco”. So if you are looking for a great new spot to “hang your hat”, let loose with old friends, or make some new friends, be sure to keep an eye on our facebook page at Wassup Xtra Magazine for a Grand Opening date…hope to see you there!
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Know The Risks For Heart Disease…
The leading cause of death for both men and women in the United States is cardiovascular disease, which includes heart disease and stroke. Together, they kill an estimated 630,000 Americans each year. Heart disease can be prevented. American Heart Month is a good time to decide what you can do to achieve a heart-healthy life. The most common type of heart problem is coronary artery disease (CAD), which can lead to a heart attack. You can reduce your risk through lifestyle changes and, in some cases, medication, such as a statin. The American Heart Association's Go Red for Women campaign urges citizens to spread the message that heart disease is not only a man's problem. More women die of cardiovascular disease than from the next four causes of death combined, including all forms of cancer. Women once believed breast cancer was their greatest health risk, although new data shows that while one in 30 women die of breast cancer, one in three women die of heart disease. ACTION GAMES ARCADE BOOKS CALCULATOR CAMERA CARDS CLOCK COMPASS COOKING DICE FITNESS
INTERNET MAIL MAPS MESSAGES MUSIC NEWS NOTES PHONE PHOTOS PUZZLES SETTINGS
SOCIAL SPORTS STOCKS STYLE TRAVEL TRIVIA UTILITIES VOICE WEATHER WINES
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A man went with his wife on honeymoon and they were getting undressed together for the first time. The man took off his shoes and socks and his toes were all twisted and discolored. "What happened to your feet?" his wife asked. "I had a childhood disease called Tolio." "Don't you mean polio?" "No, tolio, it only affects the toes." Then he removed his pants and revealed an awful-looking pair of knees. "What happened to your knees?" she asked. "Well, I also had Kneesles." "Don't you mean measles?" "No, kneesles, it only affects the knees." When he removed his shorts, his wife gasped and said, "Don't tell me, you also had Smallcox!"
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Eighty percent of all cardiac events can be prevented if people made the right choices for their hearts. The advice for both men and women is the same: Watch your weight Quit smoking Control cholesterol Control blood pressure Drink alcohol in moderation Get active and eat healthy Manage stress
Stroke is the third leading cause of death and a major cause of longterm disability. Stroke and TIA (transient ischemic attack) happen when a blood vessel feeding the brain gets clogged or bursts. The signs of a TIA are like a stroke, but usually last only a few minutes. They are: • Numbness of the face, arm or leg, especially on one side of your body • Confusion, or trouble speaking • Trouble seeing in one or both eyes • Trouble walking or loss of balance • Severe headache with no known cause Don't wait more than five minutes before calling 911 for help if you experience any of these signs. This month, we can rededicate ourselves to reducing the burden of heart disease by taking steps to improve our own heart health and encouraging our families to do the same.
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BAND INTERVIEW
ederra
by Angel Hernandez
For fans of: Memphis May Fire, August Burns Red, and Of Mice and Men Upcoming shows: February 4, 2012 at Pub Yahoo, Carol Stream, IL. Doors at 5:15pm, $7. With My Deepest Dream, The Calm Before, Halfway to Nowhere, Cries of Deception, and Arkham. Ederra by definition means "beautiful" in Basque. Most bands have always had difficulty finding the perfect name to fit not only their sound and style but something that will also impact fans' minds. However, for this group of talented young men it was found by perusing a list of baby names. In the spring of 2011, still new to the hardcore music scene, Ederra was born.
By November of 2011 the band finally became stable enough introduce themselves to the masses after experimenting with different members. Ederra resides from both the North and South sides of Chicago, consisting of five members; Jared Chaimukda (Lead guitar), Angel Hernandez (Guitar), Brandon Torres (Bass), Shamohn Ellis (Vocals), and Israel Leon (Drums). Although these rising musicians have been together for less than a year and played only a few shows, the responses from friends and fans keep them yearning for more. With only a few shows lined up in February, January has certainly been their month as they had the opportunity to share the stage with bigger acts including Lions! Tigers! Bears! and Forevermore. For the most part, these up-and-coming locals seem off to a great start, assuring us they won’t be going anywhere soon. After reading this article along with a brief question and answer interview with lead guitarist, Jared Chaimukda, hopefully it will urge you to listen to one of their songs, see a show, or just "like" them on their official Facebook page, http://www.facebook.com/EderraOfficial.
Q&A: How did you land a show with Lions! Tiger! Bears!? How excited was the band and what do you expect to come out of this show? We got on the show with LTB because the booking agent at Throwdown Agency needed locals, and we happened to be free that day. We're looking forward to this opportunity because it's our first show ever with a signed/touring act. After we play our set, we hope to talk to new fans/friends to grow our fan base and hopefully get feedback from the members of LTB themselves. What is next for the band? What direction do you see yourselves heading? Our next step is one of our biggest steps. We need a bigger fan base, and we'd work to accomplish this by playing mini regional tours and hopefully follow a tour with friends and popular bands to just promote. We would like to be in a position where we are recognized as musicians. While we are working on our fan base, we'll be writing an EP and then a full length album that we can send to record labels. What makes your band different from any other hardcore band? We experiment with our music and everything we listen to comes together in our songs. We have our own ideas and we're open to ideas. We take this stuff seriously, but at the same time we have fun with what we're doing. When you played these three shows, how did the crowds react? How did it feel to play in front of a crowd for the first time and what was the turn out like? During our first three performances, the crowd reacted to our music with loads of energy that included moshing, running in circles, and 2-stepping. Most importantly, our fans were having fun jamming to our music with us, which made us really happy. Also, their energy surprised us all since it was our first time performing in front of a crowd. For all of us, playing in front of a crowd is addicting. The intensity that we feel is indescribable. We all have this adrenaline that eventually impacts the crowd and gets people moving. Moments like these are what keep us wanting to move forward.
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A couple from Minneapolis decided to go to Florida for a long weekend to thaw out during one particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the very same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years ago.
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Because both had jobs they found it difficult coordinating their travel schedules. It was decided that the husband would fly to Florida on a Thursday, and his wife would follow him the next day. Upon arriving as planned, the husband checked into the hotel. In his room there was a computer so he decided to send his wife an e-mail back in Minneapolis. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her address, and sent the e-mail, without realizing his error... In Houston, a widow had just returned from her husband's funeral. The dearly departed was a minister of many years who had been called home to glory following a heart attack. The widow checked her e-mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends. Upon reading the first message, she fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read: To: My Loving Wife Subject: I've Arrived I know you are surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send e-mails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was. PS: Sure is hot down here!
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Out and About Pub Crawl
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Kelly’s Pub Sunday:
$12 Coors Light Buckets and $3 Lagunitas Drafts
Monday:
$1 Coors Light Drafts, $3 Central Water Draft & $1 Tacos
Tuesday:
$2 Bud / Bud Light Bottles, $3 Great Lakes Drafts & $1 Burgers
Wednesday:
$2 Bud Light & Coors Light Drafts, $3 Craft Drafts, $5 Premium Drafts & .25 Cent Wings
Thursday:
$3 Three Floyds Drafts
Friday:
$4 Green Line Drafts
Saturday:
$4 Alpha King Drafts
949 W. WEBSTER
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Two rednecks decided that they weren't going anywhere in life and thought they should go to college to get ahead. The first went in to see the counselor, who told him to take math, history, and logic. "What's logic?" the first redneck asked. The professor answered, "Let me give you an example. Do you own a weed eater?" "I sure do." "Then I can assume, using logic, that you have a yard," replied the professor. "That's real good!" said the redneck. The professor continued, "Logic will also tell me that since you have a yard, you also own a house." Impressed, the redneck said, "Amazing!" "And since you own a house, logic dictates that you have a wife." "That's Betty Mae! This is incredible!" The redneck was catching on. "Finally, since you have a wife, logically I can assume that you are heterosexual," said the professor. "You're absolutely right! Why that's the most fascinatin' thing I ever heard! I cain't wait to take that logic class!" The redneck, proud of the new world opening up to him, walked back into the hallway where his friend was still waiting. "So what classes are ya takin'?" asked the friend. "Math, history, and logic!" replied the first redneck. "What in tarnation is logic?" asked his friend. "Let me give you an example. Do ya own a weed eater?" asked the first redneck. "No," his friend replied. "You're queer, ain't ya?"
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SPORT SHORTS
Indycar’s New Chassis Named After Dan Wheldon… Dan Wheldon: Died October 16, 2011 The new Dallara chassis built for IndyCars will be named after twotime Indianapolis 500 winner Dan Wheldon. Dallara company president Giapaolo says the chassis will honor Wheldon’s memory for years to come by dedicating the IndyCar 2012 in his name. Wheldon conducted most of the testing on the new IndyCar, which is designed to limit the tire tangling that can send cars flying on the track.
don.
Smokin Joe Frazier Saying goodbye to a champion… A few minutes before the big Paquiao-Marquez bout at the Las Vegas MGM Grand, fans bowed their heads in silence as the ring bell plaintively tolled 10 times. It is the sober ritual reserved for the passing of great champions. Joe Frazier died of liver cancer two days before, at age 67, on November 7, 2011. He was one of boxing's all-time greatest champions, the world heavyweight champion from 1970 to 1973, but it was his encounters with Muhammad Ali that made him unforgettable. In 1971, Joe Frazier shook the world by beating Muhammad Ali in a contest called "The Fight of the Century." Both fighters were undefeated and the whole world was on the side of one or the other, says USA Today's Gordon Marino.
The 2011 Indianapolis 500 winner and one of the most popular drivers in open-wheel racing, died on Sunday, Oct. 16, at Las Vegas Motor Speedway. He was 33 years old.
Marino says if there was a museum for punches, Frazier's left hook would be one of the main exhibits. Frazier would keep his distance from his quarry and hammer away until the opponent's will and body would give up.
The horrific multicar crash occurred on Lap 11 of the IndyCar Series season finale. Officials called the race, but the drivers, many sobbing openly, did a five-lap tribute to Whel-
Before that first fight, Ali transformed it into a racial battle, calling Frazier an Uncle Tom and saying he was a champion of the white race. Though he apologized for it many times thereafter, "Smokin' Joe" never forgave him.
Wheldon was born in England where he took up karting at age four, financed by his father. He progressed through the junior ranks of motor racing during his school years, until he completed his GCSEs at age 16. He frequently took time off to race. He moved to the United States in 1999 and spent several years in lower circuits before joining the Andretti Green Racing Team. He won the Indianapolis 500 in 2005 and 2011. In 2008, he married his long-time assistant Susie Behm. They had two sons together and lived in St. Petersburg, Florida.
In the 1975 "Thrilla in Manila," Ali thought Frazier would be only a ghost of the fighter he faced before. Not so. In 115-degree heat the battle kept on for 14 rounds. At times Frazier was close to defeating Ali, but his trainer, Eddie Finch, stopped the fight because of Frazier's eye injury, resulting in Ali winning the fight. Frazier won't go down in history as the greatest fighter of all time. Muhammad Ali, the man he battled with, owns that distinction. But Time's Sean Gregory notes that if Ali defined Frazier, well, Frazier made Ali too. If not for Frazier's greatness (his left hook devastated opponents) Ali could not have been called The Greatest. Some say Ali was the better fighter, but at times, Frazier was the better man.
Who needs a ticket to have some Superbowl fun? There will be plenty to do in Indy as the city gears up for February's Super Bowl XLVI.
The big game, February 5, promises to be the biggest Bowl on earth, featuring zip line rides over the city, a Super Bowl village, and, of course, Super Cars. Unveiled on January 27 were 32 Super Indy racing Cars, each painted with the logo of an NFL team and one extra painted with the Super Bowl XLVI colors. Visitors to the city will be able to find the car representing their favorite team and have their pictures taken with the cars. The cars will be on display from Jan. 27 to Feb 6. If you do want to see the actual game, it might be too late by now. The 73,000-seat Lucas Oil Stadium is mostly sold out and city hotels are full. Tickets were selling at $1,000 each.
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Top 10 Rejected Valentine’s
1. i admire your strength, i admire your spunk…but the thing i like best is getting you drunk. 2. our love will never become cold and hollow…unless, one day, you refuse to swallow. 3. i bought this valentine`s card at the store…in hopes that, later, you`d be my whore. 4. this feels so good, it feels so right…i just wish it wasn`t $250 a night. 5. you`re a woman of style, you`re a woman of class…especially when i`m spanking, your big-round-fat ass. 6. before i met you, my heart was so famished…but now i`m fulfilled, so make me a sandwich!!
7. through all the things that came to pass…our love has grown, but so has your ass. 8. you`re a honey, a real true cutie…i just wished you had j-lo`s "booty". 9. i don`t want to be sappy or silly or corny…so, right to the point, let`s do it, i`m horny! k that hickey looks like a blister…you should check out the one that i gave to your sister! 10. if you think
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You haven’t boxed a Boxer till you’ve boxed...
THE GLOVE
For Fun For Tournaments Bars and Event Coordinators call 773.520.2613 to order the Boxer at no cost & learn more about profit opportunities
GIRLS want to be a MBCChix go to www.mbchix.com for details
Facebook for Drink Specials & Tournaments like us on Facebook Maximum Boxing Chix
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POOL NEWS
TRICK SHOT OF THE MONTH This shot is an old one but a good one. It’s one of Mike Massey's first shots he pulled off at the ESPN Trick Shot Magic back in 2000. It's a combination of two shots where the ball frozen to the cue ball is forced through a blocker ball into the corner pocket, and a collision draw shot where the cue ball then draws back to make the nine ball hanging in the side.
Freeze the cue ball and three ball one balls width away from the cushion, with the object ball 1 1/2 diamonds from the pocket. Place the blocking object ball at the first diamond, about 1 1/2 balls width out from the cushion. Place the nine ball in the side so about half of it is past the point of the side pocket.
Heads or Tails? Flip the the dime into the glass
This isn't your typical draw shot since the cue ball is frozen. Use a light hit, at 6 o'clock english and feel as if your pulling the cue ball back right immediately. You can practice each part of the shot separately. One way is to pocket the frozen object ball past the blocking ball. The other practice shot is to draw the cue off the frozen ball dropping the nine ball in the side pocket. After you have mastered those two shots put them together.
Riddle Ri ddle of the Month
WIN A $25 GIFT CERTIFICATE I am partially baked. I am not completely lit. I am a portion of the moon. I am lesser than full wit.
I am a divider of the hour. I am not a total lie. I am a sibling through one parent.
Can you guess what I am? Text your answers to: 773-288-9400 or e-mail: wassupxtra@yahoo.com Leave your name, e-mail, and telelphone number. All correct answers go into drawing.
Answer to Last Months Riddle A man had twelve toothpicks in front of him. He took one away. Now he had nine in front of him. How is this possible?
Answer:
He arranged the toothpicks to spell the number nine
Winner: Jimmy Malone email: wassupxtra@yahoo.com
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Technology and You
Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3
The Lighter Side
Record-setting game launch…
Inspiring Music
Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 had a record-setting launch. In the first 24 hours, 6.4 million units were sold in North America and the U.K. for a total of $400 million.
A minister was wondering how to ask the congregation to come up with more money for repairs to the church.
Videogame maker Activision Blizzard says the success of the game is crucial as they switch their strategy to releasing fewer, higher-quality titles each year. Call of Duty makes up one-third of the company's sales each year.
He was also annoyed to find that the regular organist was sick and a substitute had been brought in to replace her. The substitute wanted to know what to play. "Here's a copy of the service," said the minister impatiently. "But you'll have to think of something to play after I make the announcement about the finances."
A competing game also has had good sales results. Modern Warfare 3 by Electronic Arts sold 5 million copies in its first week. The company doesn't give first-day results. Both games are expected to be the industry's top sellers. Competition between the two makers is hot.
During the service, the minister said, "Brothers and Sisters, we are in great difficulty; the roof repairs cost twice as much as we expected, and we need $4,000 more. Any of you who can pledge $100, please stand up." At that moment, the organist played "The Star Spangled Banner."
Job Interview Reaching the end of a job interview, the HR person asked a young Engineer fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you looking for?" The Engineer said, "In the neighborhood of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."
Cut the Rope knocks Angry Birds off its perch… When fraternal twins Efim and Semyon Voinov were 10, their parents bought them a Spectrum computer. They learned gaming right away, and soon graduated to designing their own games.
The interviewer said, "Well, what would you say to a package that includes 5 weeks of vacation, 14 paid holidays, medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50 percent of salary and a company car, say a red Corvette?" The Engineer sat up straight and said, "Wow! Are you kidding?"
Recently, their game Cut the Rope exploded in popularity at the iPhone App Store and took the top spot. It has been downloaded 50 million times and is the first game to knock Angry Birds from its roost.
Kenny and the Donkey
The object of the game is to get a shiny lollipop into the mouth of a little green monster named Om Nom, by slicing the swinging ropes at the right time. Semyon, the designer, made Om Nom very cute. He wanted people to have an emotional attraction to him.
A city boy, Kenny, moved to the country and bought a donkey from an old farmer for $100. Early in the morning, the farmer drove over to Kenny's. "Sorry son," the farmer said," the donkey died."
Sales of the 99 cent app do pile up. The brothers (now 29 years old) won't talk figures, but it's estimated they have made several million dollars.
Kenny asked for his money back, but the farmer said he already spent it.
They started a company of their own, ZeptoLab, moved into a real office and hired five people, according to Bloomberg BusinessWeek. Cut the Rope is available on Android, where it is in the top spot.
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And the interviewer replied, "Yeah, but you started it."
Kenny said, "OK, then just unload the donkey and I'll raffle him off." A month later the farmer met up with Kenny, who said he sold 500 raffle tickets at $2 each and made a profit of $898." "Didn't anyone complain because the donkey was dead?" the farmer asked. "Well, just the guy who won, so I gave him his two dollars back!"
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He then opened the doors to the three rooms. Room 1 was filled with men standing on their heads, on a hard wooden floor. Room 2 was filled with men standing on the heads, on a cement floor.
Finally, room 3 had just a few men, standing in shit up to their knees and drinking coffee. The men thought for a while, and decided to go with room 3, as it was less crowded and they could drink coffee. They entered the door to room 3 and just as it was closing behind them, the devil said "OK men, coffee break's over, back on your heads."
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Three men went to hell. The devil said to them "You have come to hell, and you must now choose whether to spend eternity in room 1, 2 or 3"
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