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Happy New Year SIGNATURE DRINKS NFL PLAYOFFS AND SUPER BOWL ACTION
B O T M
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DECEMBER BARTENDER OF THE MONTH IS...
JAMI
at Claddagh Ring Irish Pub 2306 W. Foster
Vote for your favorite bartender text 773.288.9400 or go to facebook.com/wassupxtramagazine Bartender: Danny Signature Drink: Ladies’ Night Where to Find Him: Kelly’s Pub 949 W Webster Ave Ingredients: 3 Olives Grape, Cherry, Orange and Berry, cranberry, pineapple and orange juice Words of Wisdom: Alcohol is the cause and solution to all of life’s problems
Bartender: Brittany Signature Drink: The Grand Where to Find Her: Burwood Tap 724 W Wrightwood Ave Ingredients: Gin, Cranberry, muddled St. Germaine Orange Bitters Words of Wisdom: Don’t be that girl
Bartender: Shannon Bartender: Maura Signature Drink: Glascott’s Bloody Mary Where to Find Her: Glascott’s Saloon 2158 N Halsted St Ingredients: Visit Maura on Saturdays for the secret recipe Words of Wisdom: Come into Glascott’s a stranger and leave a friend for life
Signature Drink: “Chocolate Choo-Choo" Holiday Martini Where to Find Her: Four Farthings 2060 N Cleveland Ave Ingredients: Absolut Citron, Frangelico, Starbucks Coffee Liqueur and a piece of a Kit Kat bar Words of Wisdom: Don’t sweat the petty things, and don't pet the sweaty things
Rules: All service employees are eligible to win. The employee who receives the most votes in the month wins. You can submit your vote by texting (773) 288-9400 or emailing wassupxtra@yahoo.com or go to facebook.com/wassupxtramagazine. Only one vote is counted per person and voting polls close on January 24th.
*The Pub Crawl will begin at the employee of the months bar and the limo bus will accommodate 24 passengers. Gratuity not included and must be paid prior to service email: wassupxtra@yahoo.com
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Chicagoland is filled with extraordinary nightclubs, unparalleled dining venues and some of the biggest events in the world! But, do you ever wonder where the locals go? Where are the best neighborhood bars, eateries, and local festivals? Where can you find live music, karaoke and trivia nights? Who has the best food and drink specials around? If you are ready to experience the Chicagoland area like the locals do then make sure to pick up your free copy of Wassup Xtra Magazine at any of the 300+ locations in the Chicago and Southwest Suburbs or check out our Facebook page daily to find out where you should be going tonight!
TABLE OF CONTENTS FRONT PAGE at jefferson tap TAKEN by Lisa
OUR STAFF Lisa Hanrahan Sales Director
3 bartender of the month 6 ask the wino
Richard Bell Column Writer
8 news of interest 11 sodoku and crossword puzzle 14 are you smarter than chester
Robert Christiansen Column Writer
15 pub quiz 16 book review and horoscope
Timothy Parfitt Column Writer
18 tattle tales 20 schedule of events
Gillian Verdico Events Writer
24 extra photos 29 riddle of the month 31 karaoke open mic trivia The name Wassup Xtra Magazine is a registered trade name, and use of this name is strictly prohibited. The contents of this publication are copyrighted Wassup Xtra Chicago Magazine -2011 We encourage our readers to write their stories, send photos, and make comments. All submissions sent to us by phone, email, fax, or handwritten become the property of Wassup Xtra Chicago Magazine.
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We are always on the lookout for dynamic writers, photographers and sales staff to contribute to our publication If you are interested in joining our team or interested in advertising opportunities contact us at 773-288-9400 or email: wassupxtra@yahoo.com
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CATCH ALL THE NFL PLAYOFF ACTION, COLLEGE BOWL GAMES, DA BULLS, AND BLACKHAWKS
Beer of the Month
$4 HARPOON DRAFTS
2158 N. Halsted glascotts.com 773-281-1205 Home of the University of California Bears Football
JANUARY SPECIALS Sunday
$6 Glascott’s Homemade Bloody Marys $15 Domestic Buckets & $3 22oz Lite Drafts
$3 Domestic Bottles & $4 Call Cocktails
Thursday
Monday $1 Off EVERYTHING
Friday
Tuesday
$4 Magic Hat $5 Glasses of Wine
Saturday $3 Bud Light Drafts & $10 Bud Light Pitchers
Wed
$3.50 Guinness, Harp, Bass, and Smithwicks Pints & $3 Jameson Shots
$4 Stella Drafts & $5 Red Bull Bombs
PARTY ROOM AVAILABLE FOR ALL EVENTS - CALL FOR HOLIDAY EVENTS
Dieting - New Year Resolutions 2007: I will get my weight down below 180 pounds. 2008: I will follow my new diet religiously until I get below 200 pounds. 2009: I will develop a realistic attitude about my weight. 2010: I will work out 3 days a week. 2011: I will try to drive past a gym at least once a week.
Out & About @
Glascott’s
2158 N. Halsted
New Year's Day Prayer for One and All Dear Lord So far this year I've done well. I haven't gossiped, I haven't lost my temper, I haven't been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish, or overindulgent. I'm very thankful for that. But in a few minutes, Lord, I'm going to get out of bed, and from then on I'm probably going to need a lot more help.
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Amen
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OAKWOOD 83
$3 PBR Everyday
BAR & GRILL
Ask The Wino...
OPPA
FREE PRIVATE PARTY ROOM
Open 5pm
til 4am 5am Sat 7 Days a Week
Up to 60 people Call Gus or Victor
Cold Drinks / Food
1959 W. Montrose
773.327.2785
Out & About @
Oakwood 83
1959 W. Montrose
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Wino: Shambles Malone Smells Like: Pork Rinds Likes: Michael dancing
Jackson
and
break
Dislikes: Toupees, bushy eyebrows and chest hair
Freddie the Laborer asks: I drink quite and bit and it really pisses off my wife so I thought I might try to cut down for the New Year. They say it takes 21 days to form a habit or break an old habit. Do you think there is any truth to that? Wino: Freddie, I don’t know about any of that mumbo jumbo phsyco babble. I do know I once got busy with a hooker over on the Southside and caught the crabs and it took me about 21 days to pull all them critters out of my curlies. Melinda the Pastry Chef asks: I have put on a few pounds this year and made a New Year’s resolution to lose the weight. There are so many fad diets out there that I don’t know which one to choose. Have you got any ideas on how I can get on the right track for 2012? Wino: Come on down to the dive bar I hang out at. They got dollar PBR’s and some nasty hos that hang out rolling dice for free beers at the bar. Just grab a stool next to them fat old bar skanks for a couple hours and your ass will be looking real fine in no time at all. Sheldon the Accountant asks: I’ve been working in an office as an accountant for years and feel like I need to do something more hands on. I love animals and was thinking of volunteering at the local animal shelter, any thoughts? Wino: I once had this job called a Chicken Sexer. My job entailed determining the sex of newly hatched chicks by squeezing the poop out of the chicken and taking a peek for a small bump inside the chicken’s ass. If the bump was present it's a boy if it's not it's a girl. Just say the word and I’d be happy to call up my buddy and put in a good word for ya!
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On New Year's Eve, Marilyn stood up in the local pub and said that it was time to get ready. At the stroke of midnight, she wanted every husband to be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living. Well, it was kind of embarrassing. As the clock struck midnight - the bartender was almost crushed to death.
Out & About @
Polk Street Pub 548 W. Polk
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News of Interest As The World Population Surges, What Are The Implications? The first world count of the world's inhabitants occurred in 1804 resulting in a total of 1 billion people. It took another 123 years, until 1927, for the count to reach 2 billion. The much celebrated 5 billion mark was reached in 1987. After just 11 years, the population had risen to 6 billion in 1998, and by October 31, 2011, 13 years later, we had reached 7 billion. The world has the resources to sustain our present population and more, but the resources often aren't where the people are, according to Carl Haub of the Population Reference Bureau. Populations are growing fastest in the poorest nations. Where populations are growing or not growing very much The countries with the lowest birth rate per woman include industrialized nations such as Bosnia and Herzegovina at 1.2, Germany at 1.4, China at 1.6, Canada at 1.7, Australia and Brazil at 1.9 and the United States at 2.1.
Say Cheese After Dinner Eating a piece of cheese after dinner is healthier for your mouth than eating a sweet dessert, says the American Society for Dental Aesthetics. Cheese neutralizes oral acids and helps remove bacteria. It also contains calcium and phosphorus that remineralize tooth enamel.
There's Imagination In 'That-There' Snow It's January, with snow on the ground, so how are you going to keep the kids and after hour bar crowd entertained? The usual snowball fights and building snowmen come to mind but they're just the tip of the iceberg. To build something else, various sizes and shapes of building blocks can be fashioned from molds using household items. These include plastic totes, tubs and buckets of any size. Think big. Forts, igloos and castles are fun to build. For the more artistic, containers like funnels can be used to make turrets and spires.
Of the poorest countries in Africa, Niger has a birth rate of 7.2 children per woman. In several other African countries where poverty is high and there are few contraceptive options, the birthrate is just somewhat lower.
Imaginative subjects could be works of architectural greatness, like the Taj Mahal. How do you make a top for India’s famous palace? Take a bowl and pack it with snow for the dome itself and use a thin funnel to create the spire.
The challenges According to Time, the problems of population growth are mainly about inequality, supporting an aging population and adapting to migration patterns. At the Population Reference Bureau, they say countries usually do have enough food, but people don't have access to it because of poverty. World population statistics Today, 19 percent of the world population lives in China; 33 percent of the world population is Christian; 50.4 percent are male; and 50.5 percent live in a town or city. The median age of the world population is 29 years, and the median gross household income is $10,290. About 73 percent do not have access to the Internet.
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Wet snow always works best. Dry snow will work, but it takes a little more patience and agility to make your project a lasting one. It's tricky building an igloo by staggering the blocks to balance on top of one another as construction tapers its way to the top. Go slow. Snow forts can be a two-phase endeavor, the first being construction and the second destruction as family members and pals choose sides for attacks on the opponent army’s engineering prowess. To make a fluffy snow project last longer, spray it with a mist of water to create a thin but sturdy coating of ice. While there are many Internet sites dealing with snow projects, a good starting place is www.squidoo.com/fun-things-to-do-with-snow, which discusses in detail everything from snowballs and sleds to igloos and ice sculptures.
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Wrigleyville North 9543 Sports Bar 3900773N.929Sheridan Live Music by Out & About @
Wrigleyville North
3900 N. Sheridan
JUST US Band Waylan Jennings & Johnny Cash
Every Friday & Saturday
Daily Drink Specials Pool Table
1 block south of the red line Sheridan Stop
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& 2 blocks north of Wrigleyfield - walk 2 blocks north on Sheffield
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Jefferson Tap 325 N. Jefferson
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On New Year's Eve, Daniel was in no shape to drive, so he sensibly left his van in the parking lot and walked home. As he was wobbling along, he was stopped by a policeman. “What are you doing out here at four o'clock in the morning?” asked the police officer. “I'm on my way to a lecture,” answered Roger. “And who on earth, in their right mind, is going to give a lecture at this time on New Year's Eve?” inquired the constable sarcastically. “My wife,” slurred Daniel grimly.
Out & About @
Fiesta Cantina 3407 N. Clark
Peter, at a New Year's party, turns to his friend, Ken, and asks for a cigarette. “I thought you made a New Year's resolution to quit smoking,” Ken responds. “I'm in the process of quitting," replies Peter with a grin. Right now, I am in the middle of phase one.'” “Phase one?” wonders Ken. “Yeah,' laughs Peter, 'I've quit buying.”
January
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Food
A Pecan-Crusted Tilapia and Mexicorn Dinner When thinking about the cuisine of Mexico, you might visualize a cantina in a dusty desert town or mountain village. But when you look at a map of Mexico, you will actually see coastal lines that fall on the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans, as well as the Gulf of Mexico. Those who have enjoyed cruises to the country “South of the Border” know that Mexico has a great love affair with ocean delicacies as well as the spicy cooking associated with other regions of the country.
Coat the fillets on each side with the honey, using a pastry brush or spoon. Put the finely crushed pecans into a shallow dish or pie pan. Then, press the sticky fillets into the pecan bits until they are uniformly covered. Bake at 350 degrees in a casserole or pie plate until the filets are crusty and brown.
Seafood dishes often contain Gulf shrimp, crab and scallops and often have a hint of Greece, due to the many Greek fishermen that chose to make their homes in Mexico. So, this combination of pecan-crusted tilapia and a Mexicorn casserole is not such an unlikely one. The fare is tasty, filling and nutritious.
Baked Tilapia
4 large tilapia fillets 1 1/3 cups finely crushed pecans 1 cup honey 1/2 of one lemon Salt and pepper to taste Pat the fillets dry with a paper towel. Squeeze the lemon juice onto each side of the fish and add salt and pepper to taste.
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Mexicorn Casserole
15 ounce can Mexicorn 2 tablespoons butter 1 1/2 cups cracker crumbs 3 tablespoons milk Salt and pepper to taste Pour the Mexicorn into a medium-size casserole dish. Add the cracker crumbs, salt, pepper, milk and butter. Stir thoroughly. Place in an oven at 350 degrees and bake until the top layer is medium brown and solid. A side salad or green vegetable will compliment the combination for a complete meal.
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Join our Winter Euchre League
Go to our website www.fourfarthings.biz to sign up
Out & About @
Four Farthings 2060 N. Cleveland
Tue
$3 Bud & $4 Sam Adams Oktoberfest LIVE MUSIC
Wed
TRIVIA NIGHT $10 Off All Bottles of Wine
Thur
KARAOKE NIGHT WITH LUIS $3 Coors Light Bottles & $4 Sam Adams Oktoberfest
Fri
LIVE MUSIC
SAT
KARAOKE NIGHT WITH LUIS Catch College Hoops Here!
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2060 N. Cleveland 773.935.2060 www.fourfarthings.biz
Winter Thing Wordoku Make sure that each square region has just one of the nine letters used in the puzzle with only one occurrence of each letter in the square.Each column and row of the large grid must have only one instance of each letter. Difficulty rating: “easy” Note: The title is a clue to the word in the shaded row of letters and spaces
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BOOK REVIEW
In pursuit of Elegance: Why the Best Ideas Have Something Missing
‘Sweetness’
Is the story of Walter Payton an unfair attack on a hero?
by Matthew May, Broadway, 2009.
For Jeff Pearlman's new book, Sweetness: The Enigmatic Life of Walter Payton, has been critically hailed as the definitive biography of the legendary running back, but the reaction of family and fans has been frosty.
How to discover what's missing in a great plan
Pearlman, a noted biographer, interviewed more than 700 people in 2 1/2 years of research, but he has been accused of just trying to dig up dirt.
Matthew May's bestseller, In pursuit of Elegance: Why the Best Ideas Have Something Missing, shows how to do more with less. Stanford University professor Robert Sutton raves, "What a masterpiece. The definitive guide to the 'less is more' mind-set. I meant to only take a quick glance at it, but “Why is sudoku so addictive and once I started reading, I couldn't stop. In a world the iPhone so irresistible?” where everything keeps getting complicated and overwhelming, Matthew May shows us that if we start looking for things to take out, things to stop doing, and intelligent shortcuts, we will all be happier, do superior work, and live in a better world." "Elegance" is characterized by four key elements: seduction (engaging the intelligence by limiting information), subtraction (taking away excess), symmetry (the beauty of patterns) and sustainability (maintaining limited resources). May shows how various events, products and people capture our attention and imaginations, and examines the elements behind many innovative fields ranging from physics and marketing to design and popular culture. In his easy-reading style, May gives the answers to such questions as: "What made the Sopranos finale one of the most-talked about events in television history?" and "Why is sudoku so addictive and the iPhone so irresistible?" The author makes a case for doing more with less by optimizing the expenditure of one's assets and resources. That's something anyone can and should put into practice. In pursuit of Elegance: Why the Best Ideas Have Something Missing by Matthew May, Broadway, 2009.
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A statement by wife Connie Payton says, "I'm saddened that anyone would attempt to profit from these stories, many told by people with little credibility." Payton, who died in 1999, grew up in Mississippi, where he ended a racial war by becoming the star of his integrated football team. In his college years he was nicknamed "Sweetness," a name that stuck. In his NFL days, he took the Chicago Bears to the Super Bowl. He is remembered as one of the most prolific running backs in the history of American football. Payton was a nine time Pro Bowl selectee, once held the league's record for most career rushing yards, most touchdowns, carry yards from scrimmage, all-purpose yards, and records in other categories. When he was elected to the Pro Football Hall of Fame in 1993, Mike Ditka described Payton as the greatest football player he had ever seen, but even greater as a human being. But author Pearlman dwells at length on Payton's retirement when he was sometimes depressed, abusing pain killers and using bad judgment. His body was usually ridden with pain because of his football injuries. Ultimately, he died of liver cancer at age 45. Many observers and fans don't like Pearlman's profile of their hero. ESPN'S Michael Wilbon says Payton brought only honor to Chicago, never shame, but, "it comes to me as no shock that Payton was no angel, that he was imperfect and at times behaved in churlish ways . . . But is that the bar we're setting now, that anything short of exemplary at some point should bring shame? I'm wondering how many of our heroes can live up to that."
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NOW OPEN FOR LUNCH @ 11AM / SAT 10AM
Home Home of of the the
Paddy Wack (5.99)
Can of PBR & Shot of Paddy’s
Paddy Wagon ($8.99)
Pint of Guinness & Shot of Jameson
La Canuck ($5.99)
Book Your Holiday and After Work Gatherings Today Enjoy Great Food and Libations by our cozy fireplace
Pint of Labatt’s & Shot of Canadian Club
We are a Neighborhood Bar featuring “The Bill Kurtis Tallgrass Beef Hamburger” Healthy Beef and Better Eating
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(Lake & Halsted) www.paddyofegans.com
312-997-3100
Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95-year-old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday Morning." Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble. "Oh no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even, nothing too strenuous. He simply goes in on the ding and out on the dong." She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, "He'd still be alive if the ice cream truck hadn't come along."
“Let our New Year's resolution be this: we will be there for one another as fellow members of humanity, in the finest sense of the word. “ Goran Persson, former Prime Minister of Sweden
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Are You Smarter Than CHESTER “The Sock Monkey”? 1. 13%, 27%, 49%, or 63% of people are still keeping their resolutions after the first two months of the New Year?
2. In many places the coming of the New Year is celebrated by singing the traditional Scottish song “Auld Lang Syne”. Does “auld lang syne” mean, “‘till we meet again”, “let’s get it on”, or “old long ago”?
Out & About @
Carol’s Pub 4659 N. Clark
3. In the Jewish New year celebration, do they eat apples and honey, fruitcake, cheesy bratwurst, or chocolate to symbolize a sweet new year? 4. Ecuador has a unique New Year’s Eve tradition, the burning of “old years” in public places. Do they burn old clothes, bonfires, effigies of people and events from the previous year, or the inlaws? 5. What determines the date of the Chinese New Year? The first full moon after winter solstice, the second new moon after the winter solstice, the Friday after the first moon of the winter solstice, or none of these? 6. What is the Jewish New Year called? Hanukkah, Yom Kippur, Rosh Shoshanna, or Bar Mitzvah?
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One resolution I have made, and try always to keep is this: To rise above the little things. John Burroughs, American naturalist
7. To ring in the New Year in Spain, it is traditional to do eat a grape, take a sip of wine, flip your neighbor “the bird”, or light a candle on each chime of the clock? 8. Under which of the following calendars is New Year’s Day observed on January 1st? Christian, Roman, Julian, or Gregorian? 9. Why do the Chinese celebrate the New Year by lighting off firecrackers? To commemorate departed family members, to encourage good luck in the coming year, to scare away evil spirits, or all of the above? 10. In Italy, what do people do on New Year’s Day to bring good luck in the coming year? Go to mass, eat black eyed peas, wear red underwear, or all of the above?
6. Rosh Shoshanna 7. Eat a grape 8. Gregorian 9. To scare away evil spirits 10. Wear red underwear
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1. 63% 2. Old long ago 3. Apples and honey 4. Effigies of people and events from the previous year 5. The second new moon after the winter solstice
Answers
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CAROL’S PUB
PUB QUIZ
IN THE BLACK 1. What TV personality was named Miss Black Tennessee in 1972? a-Oprah Winfrey, b-Pam Oliver, c-Tyra Banks, d-Robin Roberts. 2. What singer won five Grammy Awards for her sophomore album "Back to Black" in 2008? a-Adele, b-Solange Knowles, c-Taylor Swift, d-Amy Winehouse. 3. What black-and-white cartoon character appeared briefly in "Who Framed Roger Rabbit" claiming work has "gotten slow since cartoons went to color"? a-Betty Boop, b-Olive Oyl, c-Minnie Mouse, d-Snow White. 4. What fictional character was the godson of Sirius Black? a-Harry Potter, b-Percy Jackson, c-Superman, d-Indiana Jones.
4659 North Clark at the corner of Clark & Leland in Uptown, Chicago (773) 334.2402 carolspubchicago.com
LIVE COUNTRY & WESTERN MUSIC
1 VOTED e#Bar t Late Nci ago by in Chi ago.com! POOL TABLE, DARTS NBCChic and TELEVISED SPORTS!
MON $1 Draft, $1.50 Domestic Bottles, $5 Pitchers $2 Domestic Bottles, $1.50 Busch Bottles TUE $2.75 WED LIVE BAND + Jam w/ Country Claude, 9p - 4a THU World Class KAROAKE, 9p - 4a FRI LIVE BAND, Diamondback, 9p - 4a; $50 raffle SAT LIVE BAND, Diamondback, 9p - 5a; $50 raffle SUN World Class KARAOKE, 9p - 4a $100 in cash raffles evey Friday and Saturday Mon, Tue 9a - 2a / Wed, Thu, Fri, Sun 11a - 4a / Sat 11a - 5a
Mon, Tue 9a - 2a / Wed, Thur, Fri, Sun 11a - 4a / Sat 11a - 5a
5. What day of the week was in the title of a viral Rebecca Black song sensation? a-Sunday, b-Monday, c-Saturday, d-Friday.
Carol’s Kitchen serves Hot Sandwiches Late! Carol’s Kitchen serves Hot Sandwiches Late!
6. Which U.S. President enlisted as a volunteer but was voted the captain of his company during the Black Hawk War? a-Dwight Eisenhower, b-Abraham Lincoln, c-George Washington, d-James Polk.
We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year's Day.
7. Max Black and Caroline Channing are the main characters on what sitcom? a-Rules of Engagement, b-Still Standing, c-2 Broke Girls, d-Happy Endings.
Edith Lovejoy Pierce, poet, author
8. Coleman Young was the first black mayor of which major U.S. city? a-Houston, b-San Francisco, c-Chicago, d-Detroit. 9. How many black keys are on a standard piano keyboard? a-26, b-36, c-46, d-56. 10. What actor played the one-armed stranger in the movie Bad Day at Black Rock? a-Ernest Borgnine, b-Alan Hale Jr., c-Spencer Tracy, d-Maximilian Schell. Answers to Pub Quiz ‘In The Black’
1-a, Oprah Winfrey 2-d, Amy Winehouse 3-a, Betty Boop 4-a, Harry Potter 5-d, Friday
6-b, Abraham Lincoln 7-c, “2 Broke Girls” 8-d, Detroit 9-b, 36 10-c, Spencer Tracy
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MOVIE REVIEW
Tinker Tailor Sailor Spy Reviewed by Timothy Parfitt
An old-school spy thriller for grown-ups, Tinker Tailor Sailor Spy likes its intrigue extra dry. Set during the height of the cold war, we learn early on that that a traitor is at the very top of the MI6, Britain’s intelligence service. Gary Oldman plays George Smiley, a master spy who returns from retirement to root out the Russian mole. If you’re looking for chase scenes and shootouts, this might not be the movie for you. But if you enjoy movies permeated by a sense of dread, populated by tea-drinking Brits in three-piece suits trying their best to outwit each other, it doesn’t get much better than Tinker Tailor. Oldman is on the top of his game as Smiley, who doesn’t utter a word in his first couple of scenes. Over the course of the movie, we learn more about the stoic Smiley, his troubled marriage and his career disappointments. The film, based on John Le Carré’s book, doesn’t explain every last plot twist, letting the audience come to their own conclusions over who is trustworthy, and who is a filthy Russian double agent. The cast, featuring Tom Hardy, Colin Firth, Toby Jones and Ciaran Hinds, is generally excellent. While characters do occasionally shag each other or get assassinated, much of the action involves people watching each other, giving distrustful looks, things not being as they appear, etc. All this could be a tad boring if it were not for director Tomas Alfredson’s knack for atmosphere. The film also relies on a neat trick of visually delineating present day from flashback through Smiley’s choice of eyewear. Not everyone will like the film’s deliberate pace, but I found it to be a brilliant mix of style and substance. My money also has Oldman winning a best actor Oscar come spring. Anyone want to take that bet?
JANUARY HOROSCOPE ARIES: As a typical Aries, you have a lot of restless energy. You accomplish a lot, but you also have to beware of taking on more than you can handle well. People are attracted to you but often ask for your help.
LIBRA: Your genuinely unselfish ways will bring good fortune in the future. Acts of sharing, smoothing out conflicts or giving help will not go unnoticed or forgotten.
TAURUS: Your emotional commitment takes you far in accomplishing your goals, and you have a talent for getting others committed to them. Guard against moodiness.
SCORPIO: Remember this when thinking about your health: fitness is attractive. An image of fitness shows bosses, partners and others that you are in charge of your body and could well be in charge of other things.
GEMINI: One part of your charisma is your positive attitude when things go wrong, as they sometimes will. Being a good sport is part of your problem-solving capability,
SAGITTARIUS: This month, it will be up to you to come up with a brilliant compromise. You know what people want and how to bring reality into a problem solution.
CANCER: January is a good month for you when it comes to your job. You will have a productive year. It's also true when it comes to house hunting, whether you are searching for the right fit in an apartment, home or condo.
CAPRICORN: You're on a quest for a better financial position. First, look to your spending habits. Then, check with friends for ideas about how to save and invest.
LEO: You will move closer to the status you want, but first you have to survive the latest hurdle. Be patient, cautious and in charge of your creativity. It will happen. VIRGO: If you use your talent for intellectually evaluating projects, you will have successful outcomes. Share the credit for a success with your co-workers.
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AQUARIUS: Your emotional flexibility will come into play very soon. You can have a different face for every occasion, which allows you to fit into any setting or situation. PISCES: When you concentrate on family and spiritual values, your energy will be renewed. Soon, a great idea will make you stand out from the pack.
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There were three women who were at the gynecologist having pre-natal checkups. The doctor asked the first woman "in what position was the baby conceived?" "He was on top ", she replied. "You will have a boy!" the doctor exclaimed. The second woman was asked the same question.
Claddagh R Ring C Irish Pub 773.271.4794
2306 W. Foster Ave
MON $1 PBR & Highlife Cans TUE $2 Bud Family Bottles
"I was on top ", was the reply. "You will have a baby girl.” said the doctor. With this, the third women, burst into tears. "What's the matter?" asked the doc. "Am I going to have puppies?”.....
WED $3 Corona & Corona Light Bottles THUR $3.50 Call Drinks FRI $4 Guinness SAT Bucket of Beer 5 for $12 SUN Join us Sunday for Bears games and
A New Year Prayer For The Elderly God, grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, The good fortune to run into the ones that I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.
try our famous “breakfast on a stick” Bloody Mary! Bucket beer specials and complimentary food at half time.
Book Your Holiday Parties Here!!!
Happy New Year CHECK OUT OUR FREE PARTY ROOM
Out & About @
Kelly’s Pub
949 W. Webster
A guy walks INTO a psychiatrist's office covered only in Saran Wrap. He says to the doctor, "I've felt so weird lately, Doc, can you tell me what's wrong?" The doctor replied, "Well, I can clearly see your nuts!" More Photos on p24 & facebook.com/wassupxtramagazine
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TAT T L E TA L E S
The Deathmobile They bought a blue ‘73 Ford Capri with 80,000 miles for $100 from law school friends of the legal eagle. It “just” needed a battery, which the non-student went and bought at Sears and carried on the Lawrence Avenue bus and “green limo” el. He’d thought it was illegal to transport car batteries in public, but it turns out the law only applies to cruddy old batteries leaking acid. He considered the task an adventure and did it himself because his By Rob Christiansen roommate, the legal eagle, was at moot court. He changed batteries right away since the Capri was parked conveniently near a streetlamp. It started and lo and behold it smelled like a new car. He tested the dashboard and it lit up like a color TV. The headlights came on snow white and the cigarette lighter experiment was a blazing hot orange success. When he tried the radio, “Drive” by The Cars was not only in progress but in stereo. He felt a power surge he attributed to suddenly owning a car when just a week earlier he was thinking of buying a bicycle. He bought a city vehicle sticker because it was a work of art, and spared it the usual sentence of life imprisonment. The legal eagle had opined that they didn’t need a vehicle sticker. Big deal, they only cost a few dollars. He fashioned a plastic wrap and Scotch tape technique, and later he released the sticker from the windshield by carefully pulling off the unsecured plastic wrap. He kept the sticker until he lost it. He appreciated the car but used it sparingly. He drove it to Montrose Harbor with the girl from the hockey game. More often, he stood at the apartment window and gazed three stories down at the car while holding the key. During commercials he’d go to the window and say aloud, even when his roommate was at moot court, “I’m going to the store to load up on groceries.” In fact he still walked to the store almost every day to buy groceries only as needed. The only groceries he ever put in the car were Slim Jims from the gas station. ...owned by Cubs pitcher Rick Reuschel
They met two girls in the stands at the University of Illinois ice rink while watching a law school friend of the legal eagle play goalie in a men’s league hockey game. They went just to take the car down Lake Shore Drive. Another time they drove to a party at the goalie’s house in Cal City, where he lived with his mom and sister, and the goalie showed off psychedelic sweat pants previously owned by Cubs pitcher Rick Reuschel. The goalie bought the sweat pants at a charity auction and wore them while pitching on his softball team.
couple lived in Evanston and had considerable experience sending out résumés. Upon invitation one night, the young man and woman visited their apartment bearing unpaid parking tickets in lieu of beer. The violations were incurred after they sold the car. The sale had been a simple cash transaction. The Capri’s new owners had a loophole to crawl out of this mess if they really wanted to. The Evanston upstarts, engaged to be married, performed a courtroom drama years ahead of the lucrative law firm they would eventually build. As counsel and co-counsel they alternately argued their parking ticket case and demanded $125 inclusive of late fees. In their closing remarks, they referred to the defendants as ignorant, thankless pricks and literally threw a paperback, though not maliciously. After all, they were among friends. Each wrongdoer humbly paid $62.50 even though neither could remember who had gotten each ticket. The victorious prosecutors relaxed in the apartment and used the bathroom. Then everyone watched “Magnum, P.I.,” drinking beer that the defendants had in the refrigerator. The Capri probably wasn’t safe to drive since the gear shift always grew hot to the touch, the key heated perversely in the ignition and the steering wheel sometimes locked depending on its parked position. It was a royal bitch to free up the steering wheel and usually required a second personn for emotional support. The car needed a comprehensive tune up or major overhaul, but the best it ever got was a new fan belt. One day while the legal eagle was on the Island of Samoa clerking for an American judge, he added a quart of oil, “one for the road,” and drove the Capri into a Chicago alley. If there was a swan song it wasn’t on the radio since the radio didn’t work. And since the only smoking the car had ever done didn’t involve cigarettes, he didn’t offer it a final one. The cigarette lighter didn’t work anyway, although the gear shift might have been hot enough to light a cigarette. He parked his inspirational old friend under el tracks and removed its vehicle identification number with a screwdriver. Then he removed the license plates. He thought about the girl from the hockey game he’d be traveling with on a CTA bus on Sunday to see the Blackhawks, and gently kicked a tire. He walked away from the Capri without looking back but double checked his pocket to make sure the city vehicle sticker and the key were there. Goodbye, Deathmobile.
The goalie wasn’t the one from whom they bought the car. That
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Sunday Brunch
Monday:
$3.99 Burgers/Mini Burgers with Onion Mound. $.99 Oysters, $2.50 Miller Lite Drafts
Tuesday:
$3.99 Sloppy Joes with Onion Mound. $.40 Wings (10 minimum). $2.00 Bud Lite Bottles
Wednesday:
$4.99 Spaghetti with Meatballs and Garlic Bread. Half price Bottles of Wine. $2.75 Bud Lite Bottles
Thursday:
$7.99 1/2 Slab Ribs with Onion Mound. Half price Bottles of Wine, $2.50 PBR Drafts
Friday:
$15.95 Seafood Platter (Shrimp, Scallops, and Fried Fish). $5.00 Flavored Martinis
Saturday:
$9.95 Chicken, Ribs, and Shrimp. $.99 Oysters. $3.00 Guinness Drafts
10am-3pm $13.95 Adults $7.95 Kids First Mimosa $.05. Buy 1 Get 1 Half Entree off $4 Bloody Mary & House Drinks
Super Bowl Sunday: Buckets of Wings for $15, $4 Bloody Mary’s and $2 Miller Lites 2256 West Irving Park Road
(773) 478-7000
www.chicagojoes-restaurant.com
Last week a very important meeting took place among God, the Pope and Moses. They were troubled because the President of the United States was behaving in an inappropriate manner and there were many people who saw nothing wrong in what he had done. They decided that the only course of action left was to create an 11th Commandment to get their message across. Now, the problem remained exactly how to word this new commandment so that it matched the other commandments in style and holy inspiration. After great meditation and discussion they concluded: "Thou shalt not comfort thy rod with thy staff."
Out & About @
Uptown Lounge
1136 W. Lawrence
A dietician was once addressing a large audience in Chicago. "The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Vegetables can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all eat it. Can anyone here tell me what lethal product I'm referring to? You, sir, in the ďŹ rst row, please give us your idea." The man lowered his head and said, "Wedding cake."
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JANUARY 2012 SCHEDULE OF EVENTS WRITTEN BY: GILLIAN VERDICO
NEW YEAR LIFESTYLE FAIR Thursday, January 12 2012 9am-5pm State of Illinois Building (Lake & LaSalle Building) The New Year LifeStyle Fair will take place in the Atrium lobby of the State of Illinois Building, the busiest building in downtown Chicago. The theme speaks to the consumer about self improvement and change as the New Year gets underway. Companies who participate in the New Year LifeStyle Fair have one thing in common: they offer products and services to the consumer that will significantly impact and enhance quality and will be there to greet the crowd and sell, sample and promotes services such as financial planning, smoking cessation, fitness and weight loss plans, job opportunities, dating services and much more.
SNOW DAY CHICAGO ACRYLICS BOARDS BRUSH CANVAS CHALK CHARCOAL COLORS DRAW EASEL ENAMEL ERASER
FRAMES GRAPHITE INK KNIVES MARKERS MATS OIL PAINT PALETTES PAPER
PASTELS PENCILS PENS PIGMENTS PRIMERS SKETCH PAD SPONGES STICKS STRETCHERS WATERCOLOR
January 27-29, 2012
Navy Pier - Gateway Park (600 E Grand Ave ) Teams of talented artists from around the world gather to create sculpting masterpieces out of 10-foot blocks of man-made snow. Other activities include dog sled racing demonstrations, a snowboard rail jam competition and more. Dogs are allowed at Snow Days Chicago but not inside of Navy Pier.
POLAR ADVENTURE DAYS Saturday, January 21, 2012 12pm-4pm 1400 S Linn White Dr
Two guys, one old and one young, are pushing their carts around at Home Depot when they collide. The old guy says to the young guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going." The young guy says, "That's OK. It's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little worried." The old guy says, "Well, maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like? The young guy says, "Well, she is 27 years old, tall, with red hair, blue eyes, long legs, big boobs, and she's wearing tight white shorts. What does your wife look like?" The old guy says, "Doesn't matter --- let's look for yours.
All ages. Free. Don’t let winter slow you down. Come out and enjoy the sixth annual Polar Adventure Days series. Watch as amazing ice sculptures are created, meet live animals, make winter-themed crafts, sip on hot cocoa, and much more. Don’t forget to dress warm.
Chinese New Year January 23, 2012 The Year of the Dragon
According to the Chinese Zodiac, the Year of 2012 is the Year of the Dragon, which begins on January 23, 2012 and ends on February 9, 2013. The Dragon, a creature of myth and legend, is the fifth sign of the Chinese Zodiac, which consists of 12 Animal signs. In ancient China, the celestial Dragon represented an emperor and power. Today, it is thought of as the ultimate symbol for success and happiness. May the celestial Dragon bring good luck to you during its’ special year. Visit China Town for their Chinese New Year Celebration!
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Like us on
www.facebook.com/vertigoskylounge
Follow us on
twitter.com/vertigo.chicago
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Happy Glascott’s
Club Belmont
Polk Street Pub
Four Farthings
Carol’s Pub
Claddagh Ring
Carol’s Pub
Burwood Tap
Oakwood 83
Fiesta Cantina
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Claddagh Ring
Claddagh Ring advertise call 773.288-9400
New Year Glascott’s
Four Farthings
Paddy O’Fegan’s
Uptown Lounge
Glascott’s
Wrigleyville North
Kelly’s Pub
Kelly’s Pub
Kelly’s Pub Sunday:
$12 Coors Light Buckets
Monday:
$1 Coors Light Drafts and $1 Tacos
Tuesday:
$2 Bud / Bud Light Bottles & $1 Burgers
Wednesday:
$2 Coors Light Drafts, $3 Drafts & .25 Cent Wings
Thursday:
$3 22oz Bottles
Friday:
$14 Green Line Pitchers
Saturday:
$16 Bud Family Buckets
949 W. WEBSTER email: wassupxtra@yahoo.com
773- 281- 0656
Beer of the Month: $4 LEFT HAND PINTS
VISIT US AT WWW.KELLYSPUB.COM
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Out & About @
Out & About @
Paddy O’Fegan’s
Burwood Tap
204 N. Halsted
724 W. Wrightwood
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BO
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You haven’t boxed a Boxer till you’ve boxed...
THE GLOVE
For Fun For Tournaments Bars and Event Coordinators call 773.520.2613 to order the Boxer at no cost & learn more about profit opportunities
GIRLS want to be a MBCChix go to www.mbchix.com for details
Facebook for Drink Specials & Tournaments like us on Facebook Maximum Boxing Chix
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POOL NEWS
TRICK SHOT OF THE MONTH Start with placing the 1 and 2 balls as shown, frozen in line with each other one ball width from the short rail. The 1 ball is aligned with the ďŹ rst diamond, although you may need to adjust this slightly. Freeze the 3 ball to the 2 ball accordingly so the 3 ball goes straight through the center of the corner pocket. This is what puts spin on the 2 ball for the bank into the back corner
Heads or Tails? Flip the the dime into the glass
Freeze the 4 ball to the 3 ball as shown in the diagram. You will have to adjust the set up slightly while practicing. Make set up adjustments and speed adjustments during practice.
Place the cue ball just behind the second diamond. Aim for about a half ball hit on the 4 ball with a medium stroke. Adjust the whole setup to the left or right to ďŹ x the long bank. Remember to make ball set up and speed adjustments until you have mastered this months trick shot.
Riddle Ri ddle of the Month
WIN A $25 GIFT CERTIFICATE A man had twelve toothpicks in front of him. He took one away. Now he had nine in front of him. How is this possible? Phone your answers to: 773-288-9400 or e-mail: wassupxtra@yahoo.com Leave your name, e-mail, and telelphone number. All correct answers go into drawing.
Answer to Last Months Riddle How can you make the number 7 even?
x Answer: Remove the S (SEVEN) Winner: Butch Evans email: wassupxtra@yahoo.com
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THETap BIG GAME Burwood New Year’s Eve Party Packages including food drink. Sunday February 5 and 2012
$2 Miller Lites & Bud Lights $3 Jumbo Wings Buffet Each purchase of a wristband
receives a ticket for a grand prize raffle. Call for prices before December 15th to get the early bird special.
724 W. Wrightwood Avenue
724 W. Wrightwood Ave
773.525.2593
THE TOP 10 SIGNS SANTA CLAUS IS ACTUALLY A WOMAN
(773) 525-2593
www.burwoodtap.com
The Lighter Side TREE IS BETTER THAN A WOMAN
THE TOP 10 REASONS WHY A CHRISTMAS
8 iron
Alligator's teeth A tourist was admiring the necklace worn by a local 1. Santa remembers it's Christmas. Enough said... Australian. 2. Santa reads the children's letters in office instead of
1. are A Christmas care howslices many other Jim and Bob playingtree golfdoesn't when Jim a ball deep Christmas trees you have had in the past. into a wooded ravine. He grabs his 8 iron and goes down the don't get The mad ifbrush you use embankment2.inChristmas search trees of his ball. iscomplithick.
3 Santa never explains what exactly you did to deserve "Alligator's teeth," the Aussie said. "I suppose," she said in a that coal in your stocking; if you have to ask, maybe patronizing manner, "that they mean as much to you as pearls that's the problem! do to us?"
Suddenly, he something shiny. Asif he he 3. spots A Christmas tree doesn't care yougets have closer, an realizes the shiny object is an 8 iron in the hands of a skeleton artificial one in the closet. lying near an4.old golf ball.tree doesn't get mad if you break A Christmas
"Oh, no," or nice.the Aussie objected. "Anybody can open an oyster!” 5. Santa wears matching shoes and belt? Only a wom-
of itsBob, balls. I got trouble down here." Jim calls out,one "Hey,
5. to Youthe canravine feel a Christmas tree before take Bob runs over saying, "What's theyou matter?"
How was I born?
Jim shouts, "Will you throw me my 7 iron? I don't think I can 6. A Christmas tree doesn't get mad if you look up get out of here with an 8!" underneath it.
bathroom. "What in isthe it made of?" she asked.
4 A man simply would not care if you were naughty
an would accessorize a pantsuit like that! 6. A man would ever name his animals Dancer and A littlePrancer. boy goes to his father and asks, "Daddy, how was I born?"7. Santa never, ever observed peeing off of rooftops. 8. Santa believes"Well, in a cooperative workplace The father answers, son, I guess one(e.g. daylisyou will need the elves'Your suggestions). to find tens out toanyway! Mom and I first got together in a chat 9. Yahoo. Santa accepts milk andup cookies in payment instead room on Then I set a date via email, and we met at of cafe. whining forsneaked beer and hot wings a cyber We into a secluded room and googled 10. Santa never complains that agreed when Christmas is on aa download each other. There, your mom to accept Sunday has to As misssoon the football from my hardanddrive. as I game. was ready to upload, we
discovered that neither of us had used a firewall.
cated electrical devices.
it home.
7. When you are done with a Christmas tree you Cup of Joe can throw it on the curb and have it hauled away.
A grandmother was surprised one morning when her grand8. A Christmas tree doesn't get jealous around son, age 7, brought her a cup of coffee. It tasted awful, but other Christmas trees. she drank it anyway. Then, she saw three little green army 9. A Christmas tree doesn't care if you watch footmen at the bottom and asked why he put them there. ball all day.
The grandson "Grandma! It says on ifTV "The best 10. said, A Christmas tree doesn't get mad youthat, tie it up part of waking is soldiers in your cup!" andup throw it in the back of your pickup truck.
Since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a little pop-up appeared that said, "you’ve got male!"
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CLUB BELMONT
LANDMARK PUB
Big John’s
5135 N. Oriole Harwood Heights 708.867.6533
7844 W. Belmont 773.589.2808
The Booze is Cheap & The Entertainment is Free!!!
BIKES, BABES & BOOZE
Sick and Wrong!!! A husband and wife are having major problems after 15 years of marriage, so they go to a counselor. The counselor asks them what the problem is. The wife launches into a tirade, listing every problem they have ever had in the 15 years they've been married. She goes on and on and on. Finally, the counselor gets up, walks around the desk, embraces the wife and kisses her very passionately. The woman shuts up and stares at him quietly in a daze.
The counselor then turns to the husband and says, "Your wife is lonely. This is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do this?" The husband thinks for a moment and replies, "Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but Tuesdays I play poker, Thursdays I go bowling, and Fridays I go sailing. Do you work Saturdays?"
JANUARY
KARAOKE - OPEN MIC - TRIVIA
K=KARAOKE / M=OPEN MIC & OPEN JAM / T: TRIVIA NIGHT
Place Carol’s Pub Claddagh Ring Four Farthings Polk Street Pub Trinity Pub (Northwest Hwy) Uptown Lounge email: wassupxtra@yahoo.com
Phone 773-334-2402 773-271-4794 773-348-9548 312-786-1142 773-763-0095 773-878-1136
Mon
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