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DECEMBER BARTENDER OF THE MONTH IS...
Lauren at Zante’s Orland Park
Vote for your favorite bartender text 773.288.9400 or go to facebook.com/wassupxtramagazine Bartender: Jenny Signature Drink: Just a Tip Where to Find Her: Slager’s 9308 47th St Brookfield Ingredients: Dragonberry, lemonade and grenadine Words of Wisdom: Happiness is the best facelift
Bartender: Austen Signature Drink: Candy Brandy Where to Find Her: Irish Times Pub 8869 Burlington Ave Brookfield Ingredients: Hot brandy, simple syrup and orange with cloves Words of Wisdom: A little brandy a day keeps the Doctor away
Bartender: Ashley Signature Drink: Juicy Fruit Bomb Where to Find Her: Stone City Saloon 721 Independence Blvd Romeoville Ingredients: 3 Olives Bubblegum, banana liqueur and Red Bull Words of Wisdom: To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone
Bartender: Alicia Signature Drink: Baby Guinness Where to Find Her: Pelican Harry’s 14807 Founders Crossing Homer Glen Ingredients: Patron Café and Baileys Words of Wisdom: A pat on the back is only a few inches from a kick in the butt
Rules: All service employees are eligible to win. The employee who receives the most votes in the month wins. You can submit your vote by texting (773) 288-9400 or emailing wassupxtra@yahoo.com or go to facebook.com/wassupxtramagazine. Only one vote is counted per person and voting polls close on January 24th.
*The Pub Crawl will begin at the employee of the months bar and the limo bus will accommodate 24 passengers. Gratuity not included and must be paid prior to service
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Chicagoland is filled with extraordinary nightclubs, unparalleled dining venues and some of the biggest events in the world! But, do you ever wonder where the locals go? Where are the best neighborhood bars, eateries, and local festivals? Where can you find live music, karaoke and trivia nights? Who has the best food and drink specials around? If you are ready to experience the Chicagoland area like the locals do then make sure to pick up your free copy of Wassup Xtra Magazine at any of the 300+ locations in the Chicago and Southwest Suburbs or check out our Facebook page daily to find out where you should be going tonight!
TABLE OF CONTENTS FRONT PAGE at Bobby McGees TAKEN by Lisa
OUR STAFF Lisa Hanrahan Sales Director
3 bartender of the month 6 news of interest
Richard Bell Column Writer
7 riddle of the month 8 schedule of events 10 sodoku and crossword puzzle
Robert Christiansen Column Writer
12 are you smarter than chester Timothy Parfitt Column Writer
13 pub quiz 16 movie review and horoscope 19 ask the wino
Gillian Verdico Events Writer
22 tattle tales 26 karaoke open mic trivia nights 27 pool trick shot The name Wassup Xtra Magazine is a registered trade name, and use of this name is strictly prohibited. The contents of this publication are copyrighted Wassup Xtra Chicago Magazine -2011 We encourage our readers to write their stories, send photos, and make comments. All submissions sent to us by phone, email, fax, or handwritten become the property of Wassup Xtra Chicago Magazine.
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Saturday January 28th
AMERICAN ENGLISH Doors Open @ 8pm
6602 W. 111th St. Worth 708.671.8090
january lineup friday 6th:
fool’s gold 10:30pm - 2am with opener 8pm - 10pm
saturday 7th:
smiley tillmon band 10:30pm - 2am tom holland 8:30pm - 10:30pm
friday 13th:
mr. blotto doors open @ 8pm
saturday 14th:
evolution 11pm-2am sins edge 9pm -10:30pm
friday 27th:
posion’d crew 10:30pm - 2am with opener 8pm - 10pm
Friday January 13th
Mr Blotto
Doors Open @ 8pm
Saturday January 14th
EVOLUTION 11pm - 2am
Sins Edge Opening @ 9pm
saturday 28th: american english 8pm Visit us on the web at http://www.philmckrackensbar.com Visit us on For booking info. Please email us at anthony@mckrackenconcerts.com email: wassupxtra@yahoo.com
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News of Interest As The World Population Surges, What Are The Implications? The first world count of the world's inhabitants occurred in 1804 resulting in a total of 1 billion people. It took another 123 years, until 1927, for the count to reach 2 billion. The much celebrated 5 billion mark was reached in 1987. After just 11 years, the population had risen to 6 billion in 1998, and by October 31, 2011, 13 years later, we had reached 7 billion. The world has the resources to sustain our present population and more, but the resources often aren't where the people are, according to Carl Haub of the Population Reference Bureau. Populations are growing fastest in the poorest nations. Where populations are growing or not growing very much The countries with the lowest birth rate per woman include industrialized nations such as Bosnia and Herzegovina at 1.2, Germany at 1.4, China at 1.6, Canada at 1.7, Australia and Brazil at 1.9 and the United States at 2.1.
Say Cheese After Dinner Eating a piece of cheese after dinner is healthier for your mouth than eating a sweet dessert, says the American Society for Dental Aesthetics. Cheese neutralizes oral acids and helps remove bacteria. It also contains calcium and phosphorus that remineralize tooth enamel.
There's Imagination In 'That-There' Snow It's January, with snow on the ground, so how are you going to keep the kids and after hour bar crowd entertained? The usual snowball fights and building snowmen come to mind but they're just the tip of the iceberg. To build something else, various sizes and shapes of building blocks can be fashioned from molds using household items. These include plastic totes, tubs and buckets of any size. Think big. Forts, igloos and castles are fun to build. For the more artistic, containers like funnels can be used to make turrets and spires.
Of the poorest countries in Africa, Niger has a birth rate of 7.2 children per woman. In several other African countries where poverty is high and there are few contraceptive options, the birthrate is just somewhat lower.
Imaginative subjects could be works of architectural greatness, like the Taj Mahal. How do you make a top for India’s famous palace? Take a bowl and pack it with snow for the dome itself and use a thin funnel to create the spire.
The challenges According to Time, the problems of population growth are mainly about inequality, supporting an aging population and adapting to migration patterns. At the Population Reference Bureau, they say countries usually do have enough food, but people don't have access to it because of poverty. World population statistics Today, 19 percent of the world population lives in China; 33 percent of the world population is Christian; 50.4 percent are male; and 50.5 percent live in a town or city. The median age of the world population is 29 years, and the median gross household income is $10,290. About 73 percent do not have access to the Internet.
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Wet snow always works best. Dry snow will work, but it takes a little more patience and agility to make your project a lasting one. It's tricky building an igloo by staggering the blocks to balance on top of one another as construction tapers its way to the top. Go slow. Snow forts can be a two-phase endeavor, the first being construction and the second destruction as family members and pals choose sides for attacks on the opponent army’s engineering prowess. To make a fluffy snow project last longer, spray it with a mist of water to create a thin but sturdy coating of ice. While there are many Internet sites dealing with snow projects, a good starting place is www.squidoo.com/fun-things-to-do-with-snow, which discusses in detail everything from snowballs and sleds to igloos and ice sculptures.
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Riddle Ri ddle of the Month
WIN A $25 GIFT CERTIFICATE A man had twelve toothpicks in front of him. He took one away. Now he had nine in front of him. How is this possible? Phone your answers to: 773-288-9400 or e-mail: wassupxtra@yahoo.com Leave your name, e-mail, and telelphone number. All correct answers go into a drawing.
Answer to Last Months Riddle How can you make the number 7 even?
x Answer: Remove the S (SEVEN) Winner: Butch Evans email: wassupxtra@yahoo.com
On New Year's Eve, Marilyn stood up in the local pub and said that it was time to get ready. At the stroke of midnight, she wanted every husband to be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living. Well, it was kind of embarrassing. As the clock struck midnight - the bartender was almost crushed to death.
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We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year's Day. Edith Lovejoy Pierce, poet, author
JANUARY 2012 SCHEDULE OF EVENTS WRITTEN BY: GILLIAN VERDICO
NEW YEAR LIFESTYLE FAIR Thursday, January 12 2012 9am-5pm State of Illinois Building (Lake & LaSalle Building) The New Year LifeStyle Fair will take place in the Atrium lobby of the State of Illinois Building, the busiest building in downtown Chicago. The theme speaks to the consumer about self improvement and change as the New Year gets underway. Companies who participate in the New Year LifeStyle Fair have one thing in common: they offer products and services to the consumer that will significantly impact and enhance quality and will be there to greet the crowd and sell, sample and promotes services such as financial planning, smoking cessation, fitness and weight loss plans, job opportunities, dating services and much more.
SNOW DAY CHICAGO January 27-29, 2012
Navy Pier - Gateway Park (600 E Grand Ave )
Dieting - New Year Resolutions 2007: I will get my weight down below 180 pounds. 2008: I will follow my new diet religiously until I get below 200 pounds. 2009: I will develop a realistic attitude about my weight. 2010: I will work out 3 days a week. 2011: I will try to drive past a gym at least once a week.
Teams of talented artists from around the world gather to create sculpting masterpieces out of 10-foot blocks of man-made snow. Other activities include dog sled racing demonstrations, a snowboard rail jam competition and more. Dogs are allowed at Snow Days Chicago but not inside of Navy Pier.
POLAR ADVENTURE DAYS Saturday, January 21, 2012 12pm-4pm 1400 S Linn White Dr All ages. Free. Don’t let winter slow you down. Come out and enjoy the sixth annual Polar Adventure Days series. Watch as amazing ice sculptures are created, meet live animals, make winter-themed crafts, sip on hot cocoa, and much more. Don’t forget to dress warm.
Chinese New Year January 23, 2012 The Year of the Dragon
New Year's Day Prayer for One and All Dear Lord So far this year I've done well. I haven't gossiped, I haven't lost my temper, I haven't been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish, or overindulgent. I'm very thankful for that. But in a few minutes, Lord, I'm going to get out of bed, and from then on I'm probably going to need a lot more help. Amen
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According to the Chinese Zodiac, the Year of 2012 is the Year of the Dragon, which begins on January 23, 2012 and ends on February 9, 2013. The Dragon, a creature of myth and legend, is the fifth sign of the Chinese Zodiac, which consists of 12 Animal signs. In ancient China, the celestial Dragon represented an emperor and power. Today, it is thought of as the ultimate symbol for success and happiness. May the celestial Dragon bring good luck to you during its’ special year. Visit China Town for their Chinese New Year Celebration!
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TOP 5 CELEBRITY WEDDINGS: 2011 FAMOUS MARRIAGES LIST PRINCE WILLIAM and KATE MIDDLETON April 29, 2011 - In the big Royal Wedding, Prince William, Duke of Cambridge, married Catherine Middleton in a highly televised event at Westminster Abbey. TONY ROMO and CANDICE CRAWFORD May 28, 2011 - Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo married Candice Crawford, sister of actor Chase Crawford, in a huge wedding complete with 15 bridesmaids in Dallas, Texas. KRIS HUMPHRIES and KIM KARDASHIAN August 20, 2011 - E! reality star Kim Kardashian married her NBA player boyfriend Kris Humphries in Montecito, California. Cameras were plentiful as the pair swopped vows for a twopart wedding special on the entertainment network airing October 9-10, 2011. GENE SIMMONS and SHANNON TWEED October 1, 2011 - After two grown children And 28 years together, KISS rocker Gene Simmons married Playboy playmate Shannon Tweed at the Beverly Hills Hotel. Their two children, Nick and Sophie, served in the wedding party and performed at the reception. JEFF PROBST and LISA ANN RUSSELL December 5th, 2011 - Host of "Survivor", Jeff Probst married Lisa Ann Russell in a small ceremony in Los Angeles. This is the second marriage for both.
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A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. You know what?" "What dear?" she asked gently, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth. ”I think you're bad luck."
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TOP 5 CELEBRITY BREAK-UPS: 2011 FAMOUS SPLIT LIST
On New Year's Eve, Daniel was in no shape to drive, so he sensibly left his van in the parking lot and walked home. As he was wobbling along, he was stopped by a policeman. “What are you doing out here at four o'clock in the morning?” asked the police officer.
KRIS HUMPHRIES and KIM KARDASHIAN I know I am in the minority when it comes to these two or Kim at that, but I had hope. I guess I got caught up in the multi-million dollar Kardashian spectacle of the wedding and believed this was Kim's true love. I was wrong. 72 days the marriage lasted and Kris has sued Kim for fraudulently marrying him. Kim says that her feelings changed. Maybe Kim should not worry about love for a long time and focus on her career instead. MARC ANTHONY and JENNIFER LOPEZ Another shocker, amid reports that Marc was cheating with Jada Pinkett that have been denied, no one knows why these two split, Jennifer has only said that she left because she loved herself more. The couple remains friends and has 3 year old twins. ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER and MARIA SHRIVER 25 years of marriage and 4 kids…oops make that 5. It turns out that Arnold had an affair many years ago with the maid and had a child. Sad story, long relationship that seemed perfect, looks can be deceiving
“I'm on my way to a lecture,” answered Roger. “And who on earth, in their right mind, is going to give a lecture at this time on New Year's Eve?” inquired the constable sarcastically.
JESSE JAMES and KAT VON D Were we really that surprised? He cheated on wife, Sandra Bullock with many other women, why would you think he would be faithful to you. Tattoos and motorcycles in common cannot be the basis of a good relationship. Maybe next time go for honesty and love MACAULEY CAULKIN and MILA KUNIS Together 9 years which is like 20 for celebrity couples, this was a shocker, and kind of sad, Mila needed to focus more on her career and thought it would be best to do that without being in a relationship. Poor Maccauley, he was not happy. They remain good friends
“My wife,” slurred Daniel grimly.
Winter Thing Wordoku Make sure that each square region has just one of the nine letters used in the puzzle with only one occurrence of each letter in the square.Each column and row of the large grid must have only one instance of each letter. Difficulty rating: “easy” Note: The title is a clue to the word in the shaded row of letters and spaces
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Are You Smarter Than CHESTER “The Sock Monkey”? 1. 13%, 27%, 49%, or 63% of people are still keeping their resolutions after the first two months of the New Year?
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2. In many places the coming of the New Year is celebrated by singing the traditional Scottish song “Auld Lang Syne”. Does “auld lang syne” mean, “‘till we meet again”, “let’s get it on”, or “old long ago”? 3. In the Jewish New year celebration, do they eat apples and honey, fruitcake, cheesy bratwurst, or chocolate to symbolize a sweet new year? 4. Ecuador has a unique New Year’s Eve tradition, the burning of “old years” in public places. Do they burn old clothes, bonfires, effigies of people and events from the previous year, or the inlaws? 5. What determines the date of the Chinese New Year? The first full moon after winter solstice, the second new moon after the winter solstice, the Friday after the first moon of the winter solstice, or none of these? 6. What is the Jewish New Year called? Hanukkah, Yom Kippur, Rosh Shoshanna, or Bar Mitzvah?
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One resolution I have made, and try always to keep is this: To rise above the little things. John Burroughs, American naturalist
7. To ring in the New Year in Spain, it is traditional to do eat a grape, take a sip of wine, flip your neighbor “the bird”, or light a candle on each chime of the clock? 8. Under which of the following calendars is New Year’s Day observed on January 1st? Christian, Roman, Julian, or Gregorian? 9. Why do the Chinese celebrate the New Year by lighting off firecrackers? To commemorate departed family members, to encourage good luck in the coming year, to scare away evil spirits, or all of the above? 10. In Italy, what do people do on New Year’s Day to bring good luck in the coming year? Go to mass, eat black eyed peas, wear red underwear, or all of the above?
6. Rosh Shoshanna 7. Eat a grape 8. Gregorian 9. To scare away evil spirits 10. Wear red underwear
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1. 63% 2. Old long ago 3. Apples and honey 4. Effigies of people and events from the previous year 5. The second new moon after the winter solstice
Answers
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PUB QUIZ
IN THE BLACK 1. What TV personality was named Miss Black Tennessee in 1972? a-Oprah Winfrey, b-Pam Oliver, c-Tyra Banks, d-Robin Roberts. 2. What singer won five Grammy Awards for her sophomore album "Back to Black" in 2008? a-Adele, b-Solange Knowles, c-Taylor Swift, d-Amy Winehouse. 3. What black-and-white cartoon character appeared briefly in "Who Framed Roger Rabbit" claiming work has "gotten slow since cartoons went to color"? a-Betty Boop, b-Olive Oyl, c-Minnie Mouse, d-Snow White. 4. What fictional character was the godson of Sirius Black? a-Harry Potter, b-Percy Jackson, c-Superman, d-Indiana Jones. 5. What day of the week was in the title of a viral Rebecca Black song sensation? a-Sunday, b-Monday, c-Saturday, d-Friday. 6. Which U.S. President enlisted as a volunteer but was voted the captain of his company during the Black Hawk War? a-Dwight Eisenhower, b-Abraham Lincoln, c-George Washington, d-James Polk. 7. Max Black and Caroline Channing are the main characters on what sitcom? a-Rules of Engagement, b-Still Standing, c-2 Broke Girls, d-Happy Endings.
ACRYLICS BOARDS BRUSH CANVAS CHALK CHARCOAL COLORS DRAW EASEL ENAMEL ERASER
FRAMES GRAPHITE INK KNIVES MARKERS MATS OIL PAINT PALETTES PAPER
PASTELS PENCILS PENS PIGMENTS PRIMERS SKETCH PAD SPONGES STICKS STRETCHERS WATERCOLOR
8. Coleman Young was the first black mayor of which major U.S. city? a-Houston, b-San Francisco, c-Chicago, d-Detroit. 9. How many black keys are on a standard piano keyboard? a-26, b-36, c-46, d-56. 10. What actor played the one-armed stranger in the movie Bad Day at Black Rock? a-Ernest Borgnine, b-Alan Hale Jr., c-Spencer Tracy, d-Maximilian Schell. Answers to Pub Quiz ‘In The Black’
1-a, Oprah Winfrey 2-d, Amy Winehouse 3-a, Betty Boop 4-a, Harry Potter 5-d, Friday
6-b, Abraham Lincoln 7-c, “2 Broke Girls” 8-d, Detroit 9-b, 36 10-c, Spencer Tracy
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BOOK REVIEW
In pursuit of Elegance: Why the Best Ideas Have Something Missing
‘Sweetness’
Is the story of Walter Payton an unfair attack on a hero?
by Matthew May, Broadway, 2009.
For Jeff Pearlman's new book, Sweetness: The Enigmatic Life of Walter Payton, has been critically hailed as the definitive biography of the legendary running back, but the reaction of family and fans has been frosty.
How to discover what's missing in a great plan
Pearlman, a noted biographer, interviewed more than 700 people in 2 1/2 years of research, but he has been accused of just trying to dig up dirt.
Matthew May's bestseller, In pursuit of Elegance: Why the Best Ideas Have Something Missing, shows how to do more with less. Stanford University professor Robert Sutton raves, "What a masterpiece. The definitive guide to the 'less is more' mind-set. I meant to only take a quick glance at it, but “Why is sudoku so addictive and once I started reading, I couldn't stop. In a world the iPhone so irresistible?” where everything keeps getting complicated and overwhelming, Matthew May shows us that if we start looking for things to take out, things to stop doing, and intelligent shortcuts, we will all be happier, do superior work, and live in a better world." "Elegance" is characterized by four key elements: seduction (engaging the intelligence by limiting information), subtraction (taking away excess), symmetry (the beauty of patterns) and sustainability (maintaining limited resources). May shows how various events, products and people capture our attention and imaginations, and examines the elements behind many innovative fields ranging from physics and marketing to design and popular culture. In his easy-reading style, May gives the answers to such questions as: "What made the Sopranos finale one of the most-talked about events in television history?" and "Why is sudoku so addictive and the iPhone so irresistible?" The author makes a case for doing more with less by optimizing the expenditure of one's assets and resources. That's something anyone can and should put into practice. In pursuit of Elegance: Why the Best Ideas Have Something Missing by Matthew May, Broadway, 2009.
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A statement by wife Connie Payton says, "I'm saddened that anyone would attempt to profit from these stories, many told by people with little credibility." Payton, who died in 1999, grew up in Mississippi, where he ended a racial war by becoming the star of his integrated football team. In his college years he was nicknamed "Sweetness," a name that stuck. In his NFL days, he took the Chicago Bears to the Super Bowl. He is remembered as one of the most prolific running backs in the history of American football. Payton was a nine time Pro Bowl selectee, once held the league's record for most career rushing yards, most touchdowns, carry yards from scrimmage, all-purpose yards, and records in other categories. When he was elected to the Pro Football Hall of Fame in 1993, Mike Ditka described Payton as the greatest football player he had ever seen, but even greater as a human being. But author Pearlman dwells at length on Payton's retirement when he was sometimes depressed, abusing pain killers and using bad judgment. His body was usually ridden with pain because of his football injuries. Ultimately, he died of liver cancer at age 45. Many observers and fans don't like Pearlman's profile of their hero. ESPN'S Michael Wilbon says Payton brought only honor to Chicago, never shame, but, "it comes to me as no shock that Payton was no angel, that he was imperfect and at times behaved in churlish ways . . . But is that the bar we're setting now, that anything short of exemplary at some point should bring shame? I'm wondering how many of our heroes can live up to that."
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MOVIE REVIEW
Tinker Tailor Sailor Spy Reviewed by Timothy Parfitt
An old-school spy thriller for grown-ups, Tinker Tailor Sailor Spy likes its intrigue extra dry. Set during the height of the cold war, we learn early on that that a traitor is at the very top of the MI6, Britain’s intelligence service. Gary Oldman plays George Smiley, a master spy who returns from retirement to root out the Russian mole. If you’re looking for chase scenes and shootouts, this might not be the movie for you. But if you enjoy movies permeated by a sense of dread, populated by tea-drinking Brits in three-piece suits trying their best to outwit each other, it doesn’t get much better than Tinker Tailor. Oldman is on the top of his game as Smiley, who doesn’t utter a word in his first couple of scenes. Over the course of the movie, we learn more about the stoic Smiley, his troubled marriage and his career disappointments. The film, based on John Le Carré’s book, doesn’t explain every last plot twist, letting the audience come to their own conclusions over who is trustworthy, and who is a filthy Russian double agent. The cast, featuring Tom Hardy, Colin Firth, Toby Jones and Ciaran Hinds, is generally excellent. While characters do occasionally shag each other or get assassinated, much of the action involves people watching each other, giving distrustful looks, things not being as they appear, etc. All this could be a tad boring if it were not for director Tomas Alfredson’s knack for atmosphere. The film also relies on a neat trick of visually delineating present day from flashback through Smiley’s choice of eyewear. Not everyone will like the film’s deliberate pace, but I found it to be a brilliant mix of style and substance. My money also has Oldman winning a best actor Oscar come spring. Anyone want to take that bet?
JANUARY HOROSCOPE ARIES: As a typical Aries, you have a lot of restless energy. You accomplish a lot, but you also have to beware of taking on more than you can handle well. People are attracted to you but often ask for your help.
LIBRA: Your genuinely unselfish ways will bring good fortune in the future. Acts of sharing, smoothing out conflicts or giving help will not go unnoticed or forgotten.
TAURUS: Your emotional commitment takes you far in accomplishing your goals, and you have a talent for getting others committed to them. Guard against moodiness.
SCORPIO: Remember this when thinking about your health: fitness is attractive. An image of fitness shows bosses, partners and others that you are in charge of your body and could well be in charge of other things.
GEMINI: One part of your charisma is your positive attitude when things go wrong, as they sometimes will. Being a good sport is part of your problem-solving capability,
SAGITTARIUS: This month, it will be up to you to come up with a brilliant compromise. You know what people want and how to bring reality into a problem solution.
CANCER: January is a good month for you when it comes to your job. You will have a productive year. It's also true when it comes to house hunting, whether you are searching for the right fit in an apartment, home or condo.
CAPRICORN: You're on a quest for a better financial position. First, look to your spending habits. Then, check with friends for ideas about how to save and invest.
LEO: You will move closer to the status you want, but first you have to survive the latest hurdle. Be patient, cautious and in charge of your creativity. It will happen. VIRGO: If you use your talent for intellectually evaluating projects, you will have successful outcomes. Share the credit for a success with your co-workers.
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AQUARIUS: Your emotional flexibility will come into play very soon. You can have a different face for every occasion, which allows you to fit into any setting or situation. PISCES: When you concentrate on family and spiritual values, your energy will be renewed. Soon, a great idea will make you stand out from the pack.
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Ask The Wino... Wino: Shambles Malone Smells Like: Pork Rinds Likes: Michael dancing
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Dislikes: Toupees, bushy eyebrows and chest hair
Freddie the Laborer asks: I drink quite and bit and it really pisses off my wife so I thought I might try to cut down for the New Year. They say it takes 21 days to form a habit or break an old habit. Do you think there is any truth to that? Wino: Freddie, I don’t know about any of that mumbo jumbo phsyco babble. I do know I once got busy with a hooker over on the Southside and caught the crabs and it took me about 21 days to pull all them critters out of my curlies. Melinda the Pastry Chef asks: I have put on a few pounds this year and made a New Year’s resolution to lose the weight. There are so many fad diets out there that I don’t know which one to choose. Have you got any ideas on how I can get on the right track for 2012? Wino: Come on down to the dive bar I hang out at. They got dollar PBR’s and some nasty hos that hang out rolling dice for free beers at the bar. Just grab a stool next to them fat old bar skanks for a couple hours and your ass will be looking real fine in no time at all. Sheldon the Accountant asks: I’ve been working in an office as an accountant for years and feel like I need to do something more hands on. I love animals and was thinking of volunteering at the local animal shelter, any thoughts? Wino: I once had this job called a Chicken Sexer. My job entailed determining the sex of newly hatched chicks by squeezing the poop out of the chicken and taking a peek for a small bump inside the chicken’s ass. If the bump was present it's a boy if it's not it's a girl. Just say the word and I’d be happy to call up my buddy and put in a good word for ya!
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Calumet City
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Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95-year-old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday Morning." Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble. "Oh no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even, nothing too strenuous. He simply goes in on the ding and out on the dong." She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, "He'd still be alive if the ice cream truck hadn't come along."
“Let our New Year's resolution be this: we will be there for one another as fellow members of humanity, in the finest sense of the word. “ Goran Persson, former Prime Minister of Sweden
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BAR DIRECTORY
Chicago cont.
Alsip Bar 122 Dakota Inn Southsides
12219 S. Pulaski 12119 S. Crawford 11860 S Cicero
708-597-1122 708-388-6622 708-371-1133
6301 W. 73rd
708-728-6500
8000 S. Roberts Rd 7600 S. Harlem 8500 S. Harlem 7801 W. 79th Pl
708-594-5600 708-496-0300 708-598-7000 708-728-9696
8869 Burlington` 9220 W. 47th 8436 Brookfield 9308 47th
708-485-8787 708-485-9640 708-485-4504 708-387-0317
Bedford Park Buzz Bomb
Bridgeview All Star Sports Bar Illusions Tiger’s Lounge X’s & O’s Lounge
Brookfield Irish Times Joe’s Saloon Johnny B’s Bar Slager’s Bar
Burbank Castle Inn Chuck’s Voodoo Dalton's Pub Durbins Frank's Place Maggie McGuires Papa T’s Tic N Tin Tap
Calumet City Bagley’s Boss’s Lounge John L’s Place Lauers Pub Harry O’s The Hideaway Little Brown Jug
3636 W. 111th 3259 W 111th St 11136 S Western 3356 S. Halsted 10910 S. Western 11064 S. Western 3123 W. 111th 10330 S. Western 1133 S. Western 13611 S. Brainard 10014 S. Western 4201 W. 55th St
773-445-9181 773-779-6202 773-927-6073 773-238-0784 773-429-1598 773-298-1548 773-209-8334 312-243-4217 773-646-0350 773-238-5534 773-612-4455
Jimmy's Tender Trap
410 W. Lincoln Hwy 109 N. Halsted St.
708-748-4949 708-755-1134
Chicago Heights
Chicago Ridge Bearhawks Bobby McGee’s O’Connor Pub Jack Desmond Jessie's Tavern Nickobee’s Lucky's Lounge
708-529-3547 708-229-8700 708-423-1570 708-423-1523 708-233-9148 708-424-3720 708-233-7740 708-599-6399
3000 E. 138th St
708-862-1656
9300 S Kingery Highway
630-789-6800
Crestwood
666 Hirsch Avenue 148 155th Street 335 154th Place 31 154th Place 816 Burnham Avenue 1245 Burnham Ave 14540 S Torrence Ave
708-891-9290 708-891-9073 708-862-2386 708-891-9748 708-832-3847 708-862-2966 708-862-3139
Chuck's Place Ignorant Bliss NorthWoods
Burr Ridge Maxum Bar
Lawlors Mackell's Inn McNally's Mitchells Mrs. O'Learys O’Rourke’s Richie's Bar Sean's Rhino Bar Simpson’s Tavern Southshore Inn Wrong's tap West 55th Street
5700 W. 79th 6501 W. 79th 5616 N. 87th 5406 W. 79th St 6353 W. 79th St 8642 S. Cicero 7130 W. 79th 7107 W. 79th
Burnham Tally Ho
Where are you going tonight?
Chicago Archview 3115 S. Archer Brewbakers 10350 S. Western Catchers 901 W 35th Cork & Kerry's 10614 S. Western Corrigan's Pub 3047 W. 111th Dingers Sports Bar 10638 S. Western End Zone 10036 S. Western Fox's Beverly Pub 9956 S. Western Frankie & Johnnies 5009 S. Central Gilhooley’s Saloon 3901 W. 103rd St Hinky Dinks 3243 W 111th St Hippo's 3011 W. 111th Keegan's Pub 10618 S. Western Lanigan's Pub 3119 W. 111th
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773-523-7550 773-239-1659 773-869-9411 773-445-2675 773-298-1315 773-233-9960 773-238-7969 773-238-5534 773-233-2200 773-445-1598 773-233-6829 773-233-4004
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10236 Ridgeland 10139 S. Harlem 5900 W. 111th 10339 Ridgeland 10501 Ridgeland 10301 Southwest 6605 95th St
708-424-0830 708-529-3526 708-422-6400 708-857-7910 708-499-0048 708-499-2643 708-237-3776
9901 W. 55th 917 W. 55th
708-354-3333 708-354-0991
1200 Cedarwood Dr
815-741-4318
13602 S. Cicero 13430 S. Cicero 13815 Cicero Ave 13430 S Cicero
708-388-8862 708-371-7665 708-597-2415 708-371-7665
1358 Main St 1338 Main St 940 Steger Rd
708-672-9449 708-279-7163 708-672-1167
Countryside Harry’s bar Kenny’s Tavern
Crest Hill
Bobby McGee’s Brazen Head Doc’s Lounge Mitch's Pub Pockets Billiards
Crete
Evergreen Park Durbins
10240 S.Kedzie
708-499-0022
Flossmore Flossmore Station 1035 Sterling Ave North Woods 800 Kedzie Ave
Hickory Hills Cravens Pub Kowal's Bar Prime Time The Dirty Sock
708-957-2739 708-957-5600
8833 W. 87th St 9401 S. Roberts Rd 7750 W. 95th St 9300 S. Roberts Rd
708-237-1705 708-598-0835 708-599-2333 708-598-9300
6501 Kane Ave 6298 East Ave
708-588-0095 708-354-9785
Hodgkins Buck’s Pit Stop Murphy’s Bar
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BAR DIRECTORY
Where are you going tonight?
Orland Park cont.
Homewood Bogarts Fifth Quarter Tap Lassen's Bar Ridgewood Tap
18225 Dixie Hwy 18105 Dixie Hwy 2131 183rd 2059 Ridge Rd
708-798-2000 708-798-2710 708-957-2220 708-798-1414
Justice New Bridges Bar 8531 W. 79th
708-728-9990
Lansing J.J. Kelley’s Kilroy’s
2455 Bernice Rd 3502 Ridge Rd
708-474-9977 708-895-5233
2549 Glenwood 10 Southland Dr. 19606 Burnham
708-474-4348 708-418-1400 708-418-2650
Lynwood Benny’s Ho Chunk Margarita’s
Lyons Marlin’s 7236 Pershing Rd McCafferty’s Pub 8107 Ogden Ricky D’s Place 7901 Ogden
708-442-2645 708-442-0630 708-442-8688
Markham Envy’s Pub George's Place
708-331-5860 708-225-1844
3625 W 159th 15745 Kedzie Ave
Merrionette Park Bourbon Street 3359 W. 115th
708-388-8881
Midlothian Durbin’s Jack’s Place O’Learys Sullivans
14753 S. Cicero 3915 147th St. 14650 Waverly 4660 147th St
708-687-1700 708-489-2250 708-389-3663 708-385-4100
Mokena Morgan’s
18700 S. LaGrange
708-478-3610
Oak Forest Blarney Stone Marcotte’s Tap's Pub
15400 Cicero 15501 S.Cicero 15427 Cicero
708-535-4800 708-535-8960 708-535-6374
Oak Lawn Cullens Pub Demma's Bar George's Lounge Goal Post Hot Corner Inn Zone Bar Murphy's Law Quigley’s R Place Lounge St James Tailgators TC Pub
9953 Southwest Hwy 5805 W. 87th Pl 5407 W. 95th 5207 W. 95th St. 4913 W. 95th St 9904 Southwest Hwy 9247 S. Cicero 4010 W. 111th 9848 Southwest Hwy 5305 W. 95th St. 9256 S. Cicero 9700 S. Cicero
708-424-7286 708-636-1240 708-636-0223 708-422-5275 708-422-1884 708-636-1555 708-952-4774 708-425-1330 708-423-1350 708-425-4252
Orland Park Coaches Corner Danny’s Corner
8116 W. 143rd St 9400 W, 143rd St
email: wassupxtra@yahoo.com
Fat Sams Jordans Pub Zantes Lounge
15896 S. LaGrange Rd 13500 S. Harlem 8888 W. 159th St
708-403-0733 708-460-8330 708-364-0100
Palos Heights Joe Daniels Sam Bucas Mister Mo’s
12218 S. Harlem 12231 S. Harlem 7214 College Dr
708-923-9902 708-361-1226 708-671-0288
10154 S. Roberts Rd 11011 Southwest 8300 W. 107th St. 9750 S. Roberts Rd 10307 S Roberts Rd
708-598-8881 708-974-9085 708-974-0509 708-576-8142 708-233-6400
D & D's Tavern Dirty D's Granny's Place Guzzlers J&J’s Pub
14401 S. Sherman 14100 S. Western 2838 W. 147th St 14344 S. Mckinley 14347 McKinley
708-385-0171 708-824-0285 708-385-2509 708-371-7484 708-388-2006
Baps Tap Prisco’s Tony G's
164 W. Sauk Trail 11 W. Sauk Tr 33 W. Sauk Tr
708-755-2277 708-248-5380 708-754-6848
Palos Hills Durbin’s Red Velvet Valley Inn Village Pub Zante Lounge
Posen
South Chicago Heights
Steger J Martins Tap 81 E. 34th St Jack's Bar & Grill 436 W. 34th St Jolt N Joes 3215 Union
708-755-6152 708-754-7000 708-755-3330
Summit Europe
7245 W. Archer
708-458-1900
17731 Oak Park 17704 Oak Park 18305 Oak Park 17265 Oak Park 17348 Oak Park 17020 Oak Park 17329 Oak Park
708-429-7955 708-633-1144 708-532-1639 708-429-1000 708-429-7000 708-532-4409 708-532-9707
Tinley Park Bailey’s Bar Cuzins Tavern Dendrino's Durbins JWHollsteins Old Tinley Pub Teehan's
Worth
Bar Code 111 7016 W 111th Street The Chieftan 6908 W 111th Street Phil Mc Krackens 6602 111th Street
708 448-4040 708 827-5739 708)671-8090
To be listed in our bar directory and for advertising rates call 773.288.9400
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TAT T L E TA L E S
The Deathmobile They bought a blue ‘73 Ford Capri with 80,000 miles for $100 from law school friends of the legal eagle. It “just” needed a battery, which the non-student went and bought at Sears and carried on the Lawrence Avenue bus and “green limo” el. He’d thought it was illegal to transport car batteries in public, but it turns out the law only applies to cruddy old batteries leaking acid. He considered the task an adventure and did it himself because his By Rob Christiansen roommate, the legal eagle, was at moot court. He changed batteries right away since the Capri was parked conveniently near a streetlamp. It started and lo and behold it smelled like a new car. He tested the dashboard and it lit up like a color TV. The headlights came on snow white and the cigarette lighter experiment was a blazing hot orange success. When he tried the radio, “Drive” by The Cars was not only in progress but in stereo. He felt a power surge he attributed to suddenly owning a car when just a week earlier he was thinking of buying a bicycle. He bought a city vehicle sticker because it was a work of art, and spared it the usual sentence of life imprisonment. The legal eagle had opined that they didn’t need a vehicle sticker. Big deal, they only cost a few dollars. He fashioned a plastic wrap and Scotch tape technique, and later he released the sticker from the windshield by carefully pulling off the unsecured plastic wrap. He kept the sticker until he lost it. He appreciated the car but used it sparingly. He drove it to Montrose Harbor with the girl from the hockey game. More often, he stood at the apartment window and gazed three stories down at the car while holding the key. During commercials he’d go to the window and say aloud, even when his roommate was at moot court, “I’m going to the store to load up on groceries.” In fact he still walked to the store almost every day to buy groceries only as needed. The only groceries he ever put in the car were Slim Jims from the gas station. ...owned by Cubs pitcher Rick Reuschel
They met two girls in the stands at the University of Illinois ice rink while watching a law school friend of the legal eagle play goalie in a men’s league hockey game. They went just to take the car down Lake Shore Drive. Another time they drove to a party at the goalie’s house in Cal City, where he lived with his mom and sister, and the goalie showed off psychedelic sweat pants previously owned by Cubs pitcher Rick Reuschel. The goalie bought the sweat pants at a charity auction and wore them while pitching on his softball team.
couple lived in Evanston and had considerable experience sending out résumés. Upon invitation one night, the young man and woman visited their apartment bearing unpaid parking tickets in lieu of beer. The violations were incurred after they sold the car. The sale had been a simple cash transaction. The Capri’s new owners had a loophole to crawl out of this mess if they really wanted to. The Evanston upstarts, engaged to be married, performed a courtroom drama years ahead of the lucrative law firm they would eventually build. As counsel and co-counsel they alternately argued their parking ticket case and demanded $125 inclusive of late fees. In their closing remarks, they referred to the defendants as ignorant, thankless pricks and literally threw a paperback, though not maliciously. After all, they were among friends. Each wrongdoer humbly paid $62.50 even though neither could remember who had gotten each ticket. The victorious prosecutors relaxed in the apartment and used the bathroom. Then everyone watched “Magnum, P.I.,” drinking beer that the defendants had in the refrigerator. The Capri probably wasn’t safe to drive since the gear shift always grew hot to the touch, the key heated perversely in the ignition and the steering wheel sometimes locked depending on its parked position. It was a royal bitch to free up the steering wheel and usually required a second personn for emotional support. The car needed a comprehensive tune up or major overhaul, but the best it ever got was a new fan belt. One day while the legal eagle was on the Island of Samoa clerking for an American judge, he added a quart of oil, “one for the road,” and drove the Capri into a Chicago alley. If there was a swan song it wasn’t on the radio since the radio didn’t work. And since the only smoking the car had ever done didn’t involve cigarettes, he didn’t offer it a final one. The cigarette lighter didn’t work anyway, although the gear shift might have been hot enough to light a cigarette. He parked his inspirational old friend under el tracks and removed its vehicle identification number with a screwdriver. Then he removed the license plates. He thought about the girl from the hockey game he’d be traveling with on a CTA bus on Sunday to see the Blackhawks, and gently kicked a tire. He walked away from the Capri without looking back but double checked his pocket to make sure the city vehicle sticker and the key were there. Goodbye, Deathmobile.
The goalie wasn’t the one from whom they bought the car. That
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MARLINS 7236 39TH St. Lyons
MONDAY .25 CENT WINGS + $3 HEINEKEN
SUNDAY FOOTBALL 5 FOR $12 MILLER BUCKETS
FREE
Buffet during All Bears Games
THURSDAY LIVE DJ (10PM - 2AM) NO COVER
$3 MILLER PRODUCT PITCHERS + $2 WELL MIXED DRINKS + $1 WELL SHOTS
708.442.2645
TUESDAY $3 CORONA WEDNESDAY $3 IMPORT DRAFT PINTS FRIDAY LIVE MUSIC (NO COVER) $3 MILLER BOTTLES SATURDAY $1.75 MILLER BOTTLES
Last week a very important meeting took place among God, the Pope and Moses. They were troubled because the President of the United States was behaving in an inappropriate manner and there were many people who saw nothing wrong in what he had done. They decided that the only course of action left was to create an 11th Commandment to get their message across. Now, the problem remained exactly how to word this new commandment so that it matched the other commandments in style and holy inspiration. After great meditation and discussion they concluded: "Thou shalt not comfort thy rod with thy staff."
Out & About @
Marlins Lyons
A dietician was once addressing a large audience in Chicago. "The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Vegetables can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all eat it. Can anyone here tell me what lethal product I'm referring to? You, sir, in the ďŹ rst row, please give us your idea." The man lowered his head and said, "Wedding cake."
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There were three women who were at the gynecologist having pre-natal checkups. The doctor asked the first woman "in what position was the baby conceived?" "He was on top ", she replied. "You will have a boy!" the doctor exclaimed. The second woman was asked the same question. "I was on top ", was the reply. "You will have a baby girl.” said the doctor. With this, the third women, burst into tears. "What's the matter?" asked the doc.
Out & About @
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"Am I going to have puppies?”.....
Bedford Park
A New Year Prayer For The Elderly God, grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, The good fortune to run into the ones that I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.
January
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Food
A Pecan-Crusted Tilapia and Mexicorn Dinner When thinking about the cuisine of Mexico, you might visualize a cantina in a dusty desert town or mountain village. But when you look at a map of Mexico, you will actually see coastal lines that fall on the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans, as well as the Gulf of Mexico. Those who have enjoyed cruises to the country “South of the Border” know that Mexico has a great love affair with ocean delicacies as well as the spicy cooking associated with other regions of the country.
Coat the fillets on each side with the honey, using a pastry brush or spoon. Put the finely crushed pecans into a shallow dish or pie pan. Then, press the sticky fillets into the pecan bits until they are uniformly covered. Bake at 350 degrees in a casserole or pie plate until the filets are crusty and brown.
Seafood dishes often contain Gulf shrimp, crab and scallops and often have a hint of Greece, due to the many Greek fishermen that chose to make their homes in Mexico. So, this combination of pecan-crusted tilapia and a Mexicorn casserole is not such an unlikely one. The fare is tasty, filling and nutritious.
Baked Tilapia
4 large tilapia fillets 1 1/3 cups finely crushed pecans 1 cup honey 1/2 of one lemon Salt and pepper to taste Pat the fillets dry with a paper towel. Squeeze the lemon juice onto each side of the fish and add salt and pepper to taste.
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Mexicorn Casserole
15 ounce can Mexicorn 2 tablespoons butter 1 1/2 cups cracker crumbs 3 tablespoons milk Salt and pepper to taste Pour the Mexicorn into a medium-size casserole dish. Add the cracker crumbs, salt, pepper, milk and butter. Stir thoroughly. Place in an oven at 350 degrees and bake until the top layer is medium brown and solid. A side salad or green vegetable will compliment the combination for a complete meal.
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2 Convenient Locations 6652 N. Western Ave. Chicago 773.508.9900 5436 S. Ashland Ave. Chicago 773.776.2600 Family Owned & Operated with 50 years of combined experience
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Crestwood
Towing Service Free Estimates Rental Services Lifetime Warranty Recommended by Major Insurance Co Trained Professionals Full Body Repair to Ding & Dent Removal with state of the art equipment
visit us @ www.wreckandroll.com More Photos on p28 & facebook.com/wassupxtramagazine
Two guys, one old and one young, are pushing their carts around at Home Depot when they collide. The old guy says to the young guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going." The young guy says, "That's OK. It's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little worried."
The old guy says, "Well, maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like? The young guy says, "Well, she is 27 years old, tall, with red hair, blue eyes, long legs, big boobs, and she's wearing tight white shorts. What does your wife look like?" The old guy says, "Doesn't matter --- let's look for yours.
KARAOKE/OPEN MIC/ TRIVIA Bar
Phone
Sun
Bobby McGee’s
708-529-3526
Frank’s Place
708.233.9148
Ignorant Bliss
708.279.7163
New Bridges Bar
708-728-9990
Papa T’s (Burbank)
708.233.7740
Pockets
708.371.7665
SideBar 167
708.596.5055
X’s & O’s Lounge
708.728.9696
Mon
Tues
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Thurs
Fri
Sat
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Advertise Your Karaoke / Open Mic / Trivia - Call 773.213.4597 26 Wassup xtra
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P CKETS billiards Doc’s Lounge Pizza
Appetizers
Sandwiches
SAT Jan 14Th Country Night with HONKY TONK HEROES @9:30 13430 S CICERO CRESTWOOD, IL 708-371-7665
Everyday
Friday
$2 Pints
$3 Bombs
Monday & Wednesday
Saturday DJ Nick
$1.50 Domestic Bottles
$3 Bombs Sunday
$10 Buckets + $3 Bloody Mary
Book Your Parties Now! 24 Pool Tables Daily Pool Specials Illinois Lottery Free Wi Fi Bean Bags - Shuffle Board - Darts - Patio Sun - Thur 10am - 2pm / Fri & Sat 10am - 3am
POOL NEWS
TRICK SHOT OF THE MONTH Start with placing the 1 and 2 balls as shown, frozen in line with each other one ball width from the short rail. The 1 ball is aligned with the first diamond, although you may need to adjust this slightly.
Freeze the 4 ball to the 3 ball as shown in the diagram. You will have to adjust the set up slightly while practicing. Make set up adjustments and speed adjustments during practice.
Heads or Tails? Flip the the dime into the glass
Freeze the 3 ball to the 2 ball accordingly so the 3 ball goes straight through the center of the corner pocket. This is what puts spin on the 2 ball for the bank into the back corner
Place the cue ball just behind the second diamond. Aim for about a half ball hit on the 4 ball with a medium stroke. Adjust the whole setup to the left or right to fix the long bank. Remember to make ball set up and speed adjustments until you have mastered this months trick shot.
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Happy Marlin’s
Bobby McGee’s
At The Office
Buzz Bomb
Papa T’s
Frank’s Place
Frank’s Place
Bobby McGee’s
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X’s & O’s
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Pockets
Papa T’s
FACEBOOK.COM / WASSUPXTRAMAGAZINE
At The Office
advertise call 773.288-9400
New Year Buzz Bomb
Bobby McGee’s
Marlin’s
X’s & O’s
Pockets
X’s & O’s
Bobby McGee’s
Happy New Leap Year To All For 2012, we wish you 12 months of happiness, 52 weeks of life, 366 days of success, 8,784 hours of good health, and 527,040 minutes of good luck.
X’s & O’s email: wassupxtra@yahoo.com
Happy New Year to you and yours! FACEBOOK.COM / WASSUPXTRAMAGAZINE
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Frank’s Place
$3 Mixed Well Drinks
6353 W. 79th St. Burbank 708.233.9148
.75 Cent Domestic Drafts
Superbowl Party @ Frank’s Place Open December 25th @ 3pm Sunday February 5, 2012
$1.50 Domestic Includes prime rib, mostacolli, Bottles potatoes and gravy, garlic bread and salad. & $10 Domestic Appetizers before the Buckets game
FREE $40 per person
Open bar during the game (includes top shelf)
“Hams &served Yams” Dinner! Food during halftime Little Frank’s Pizzeria Sun - Thurs: 11am - Midnight Friday & Saturday: 11am - 1:30am
Monday Tuesday
Wednesday
$2 Bacardi Mixers Thursday - Open Mic Nights every 2nd & 4th
$1.50 Domestic Bottles Friday
$2.50 Import Bottles Saturday
$2 Smirnoff Mixers featuring Bloody Mary’s & $1.50 Domestic Draft Pints Sunday
$10 Domestic Buckets, $2 Smirnoff Bloody Mary’s & .75 Cent Schnapps
A husband and wife are having major problems after 15 years of marriage, so they go to a counselor.
More Photos @ facebook.com/
The counselor asks them what the problem is. The wife wassupxtramagazine launches into a tirade, listing every problem they have ever had in the 15 years they've been married. She goes on and on and on.
Finally, the counselor gets up, walks around the desk, embraces the wife and kisses her very passionately. The woman shuts up and stares at him quietly in a daze. The counselor then turns to the husband and says, "Your wife is lonely. This is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do this?" The husband thinks for a moment and replies, "Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but Tuesdays I play poker, Thursdays I go bowling, and Fridays I go sailing. Do you work Saturdays?"
Happy New Year email: wassupxtra@yahoo.com email: wassupxtra@yahoo.com
Out & & About About @ @ Out
Frank’s Place Place Frank’s Burbank Burbank
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