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Where are you going tonight? READ THE MAGAZINE ONLINE @ WWW.WHATSUPXTRA.COM PAGE 19
Danielle The Mystic Chicago
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@ 7am N E P O NOW g n i m a g o e d i with live v 8527 W. 79th Justice 708.924.6003
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Are you currently looking for a part-time opportunity? What’s Up Xtra Magazine is looking for Sales Associates, Photographers, and Writers to join our dynamic team. Qualified candidates must be outgoing, professional and enjoy meeting new people. If you are interested in hearing more about these opportunities, please contact us at 773-288-9400 or email us at whatsupxtra.com. Serious inquiries only please.
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10 OUT AND ABOUT PHOTOS
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JUNE 2012 BEER GARDENS WHAT’S UP THIS MONTH
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14 word find 16 OUT AND ABOUT PHOTOS 17 Sudoku and crossword puzzle
jon obert editor
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18 lala’s love letters 19 bartender of the month 20 - 22 bar directory
Check us out online - Read the magazine, Photos & More... www.whatsupxtra.com
Front page photo taken at Davern’s Tavern by Ted Phillips The name What’s Up Xtra Magazine is a registered trade name, and use of this name is strictly prohibited. The contents of this publication are copyrighted What’s Up Xtra Chicago Magazine -2012 We encourage our readers to write their stories, send photos, and make comments. All submissions sent to us by phone, email, fax, or handwritten become the property of What’s Up Xtra Chicago Magazine.
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23 are you smarter than chester
ted phillips photographer Lance nielson photographer
24 fight card xtra 26 riddle of the month 27 APRIL EVENTS
lauren strec contributing writer
29 CUBS AND SOX SCHEDULES CHECK OUT
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OLE Vuz BORN A LUTHERAN! Born a Lutheran, each Friday night after work, Ole would fire up his outdoor grill on the shore of Big Stone Lake and cook a venison steak. But, all of Ole's neighbors were Catholic. And since it was Lent, they were forbidden from eating meat on Friday. The delicious aroma from the grilled venison steaks wafted over Ortonville all the way to Clinton, and was causing such a problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally talked to their priest. The Priest came to visit Ole, and suggested that he become a Catholic. After several classes and much study, Ole attended Mass.....and as the priest sprinkled holy water over him, he said, "You were born a Lutheran, and raised a Lutheran, but now you are a Catholic." Ole's neighbors were relieved, until Friday night arrived, and the wonderful aroma of grilled venison filled the neighborhood. The Priest was called immediately by the neighbors, and, as he rushed into Ole's yard, clutching a rosary and prepared to scold him, he stopped and watched in amazement. There stood Ole, clutching a small bottle of holy water which he carefully sprinkled over the grilling meat and chanted: "You vuz born a deer, you vuz raised a deer, but now you is a walleye." FACEBOOK.COM/WASSUPXTRAMAGAZINE
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News April 16 is National Wear Your Pajamas to Work Day! A Weird, Wild, and Wacky Holiday...
It's a Fact #1...
Good Lung Function Helps You Think Better
The day after federal taxes are due, tax-paying Americans may well believe they deserve some comfort. Many have been up until the last minute the night before pouring over the increasing difficult-to-understand directions and waiting in lines of cars to slip their signed and stamped documents into the mailbox at the post office.
A new Swedish study published in the journal Psychological Science, shows that the brain's processing speed is better maintained with good lung health. The researchers now believe that oxygen intake carried throughout the body by the blood may affect chemicals that transmit signals between brain cells. They say regular exercise and a healthy diet enhance oxygenrich blood flow.
So when the taxes are paid, isn't it time to jump in your pajamas and go to work? In some places, it is. To raise money for charity, and to celebrate National Wear Your Pajamas to Work Day, Denver's Mayor John Hickenlooper asked city workers to have pajama parties to support the homeless. They raised over $500,000. Martha Stewart once had every staff and audience member in pajamas for her breakfast show. And no doubt some companies elsewhere joined in to raise money or just have fun on a wild special day in which bunny slippers are definitely allowed.
National Volunteer Week April 21-27, 2013 Americans have historically supported their neighbors and townspeople in times of crisis. It's especially true when the crisis involves the massive destruction that comes with tornadoes, epic flooding and hurricanes. This was made evident when Hurricane Sandy struck near Atlantic City, N.J. in October of 2012. Sandy will end up causing about $50 billion in property damage and lost business, making it one of the costliest natural disasters on record in the United States. The storm affected people in 15 states.
The study included 832 people 50 to 85 who were followed for 19 years. One bit of good news: the study found that reduced lung function was not linked with worsened memory or loss of stored knowledge in the brain.
It’s a Fact #2...
Healthy Life Reduces Risk of Alzheimer's Disease Doctors at the Memory Disorders Clinic at UCLA Health System say the risk of developing Alzheimer's disease is reduced with better medical care and healthier living. That includes: • • • • • •
Control of elevated blood pressure Control of cholesterol Maintaining a healthy body weight Having an active lifestyle and exercising Eating a healthy diet Taking an omega-3 fatty acids supplement (fish oil)
It's a Fact #3... Running like this by older fat guys may damage the groin area
Caring Americans nationwide showed how ordinary people can do extraordinary things through service. They volunteered their time and money to work with individuals and organizations. People helping people; it's the American way. National Volunteer Week focuses attention on the power of volunteerism. Every leader, from the president, governors and mayors, to corporate and community leaders, works with citizens to observe the meaning of this week. This year's theme is: Celebrating People in Action. It honors individuals who help to solve significant problems.
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APR
DRINK - MARTINI - SHOT by Lisa Romack
Ingredients:
2 oz Silver Tequila 1 oz Lemon Juice 1/2 oz Agave Nectar 2 Cucumber Wheels 2 Blackberries 2 oz Ginger Beer
Tall Tale
Instructions:
Muddle cucumber and blackberries in a mixing glass. Add tequila, lemon juice, agave nectar and ice. Shake and strain into a tall glass with ice. Top with ginger beer and stir. Garnish with cucumber wheel.
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Nectarine of the Gods
Wild Turkey Mint Tea Ingredients:
Ingredients:
2 oz Light Rum ¾ oz Simple syrup 1 Nectarine seeded and cut into quarters 1 Whole lime cut into 6 large wedges Pinch mint leaves
Instructions:
In a cocktail shaker, add ½ the nectarine quarters and 4 lime wedges. Pour in simple syrup and muddle fruits to a paste. Add mint leaves and muddle lightly without tearing. Add Rum and ice. Shake and strain into a rocks glass filled with fresh ice. Garnish with mint sprigs and a wedge of lime.
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4 cups Water, divided 2 tbsp Sugar 4 Black tea bags 1 cup Fresh mint leaves 1.5 cups Wild Turkey Bourbon Juice of half a lemon & half a lime
Instructions:
In a large saucepan, boil 2 cups of water and the sugar. Remove from the heat and add the tea bags. Steep for 8 minutes and then discard the bags. Add the remaining 2 cups of water. Transfer to a pitcher and chill. Add the mint and crush with a wooden spoon until fragrant. Stir in the remaining ingredients. Serve in tall glasses filled with ice. Garnish each glass with a mint sprig.
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Ask The Wino... Wino: Pauli Chiparelli Smell Like: Cannolis Likes: Crisco and Gold Chains Dislikes: Feminists
Shanna asks: My husband’s best friend just moved back into town and now he out partying entirely too much. Do I explain to him nicely that I am bothered by this or should I lay the hammer down?
Your Duck is Dead A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away." The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?" "Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the vet.. "How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something." The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room. The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck." The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!" The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150."
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Wino: This is natural behavior for a man and should be encouraged! Man is a hunter and going out with his buddy chasing young sexy women will help to relieve some of the stress he incurs providing for your sorry ass all day. May I suggest telling him if he finds a really hot girl while he is out that you encourage him to bring her home for a threesome? Jillian asks: My sister-in-law was in a bad relationship, so my husband and I offered to let her stay with us. We moved all her stuff into our home but after just a week she ended up going to my brother-in-law’s. I’m not sure why my husband is so upset, but he won’t speak to his sister at all. What’s do you think is going on? Wino: The typical brother would say “don’t let the door hit you in the ass”, so aren’t you wondering what’s going on? Your freaky husband told you he was having bowel issues and spending a little extra time on the “throne” in the bathroom next to her room? Bullshit. He was checking out her big rack through the peephole he drilled behind the hamper and she probably noticed, took a look and caught him spanking his monkey to her milk jugs! Lilly asks: My husband and I had decided to save ourselves for marriage. It’s been almost six months now of sex almost every day but he has not managed to find my clitoris! I enjoy being with him, but seriously I need more. Any advice? Wino: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must mess with it, do it on your own time or ask your best girlfriend to give you a hand. You may wish to video tape yourself doing this and present it to your husband as an anniversary gift. To ease your guilt I suggest cooking him a delicious dinner and to finish off the night perform oral sex on him! CHECK OUT OUR NEW WEBSITE @ WWW.WHATSUPXTRA.COM
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The Secret to Catching an Alligator
After becoming very frustrated with the attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the young blonde declared, 'Well, then, maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator and get a pair of alligator shoes for free!' The shopkeeper replied with a sly smile, 'Well, little lady, why don't you go give it a try?' The blonde headed off to the swamp, determined to catch an alligator. Later in the day, the shopkeeper was driving home and spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the murky water, shotgun in hand. He saw a huge 9-foot gator swimming rapidly toward her. With lightning reexes, the blonde took aim, shot the creature and hauled it up onto the slippery bank. Nearby were 7 more dead gators all lying belly up. The shopkeeper watched in amazement as the blonde struggled with the gator.
HEXED LEXICON LEXIS LUXOR MAXI MIXED MIXTURE MOXIE NEXT NEXUS NIXON NOXIOUS
ANXIETY AUXILIARY BOXCAR BOXER BUXOM DEXTERITY DIXIE DOXY FAXED FIXATE FOXES HEXAGON HEXANE
PIXEL PIXY SAXES SEXPOT SIXFOLD TAXED TEXAN TOXIC TUXEDO VEXING VIXEN WAXED
Job Description Someone once asked me, "What is your job?" I replied, “I am my wife's sexual advisor." Somewhat shocked, he asked, "I beg your pardon, but what do you mean by that?" "Very simple...the wife has told me that when she wants my f***ing advice, she'll ask me for it."
Then, rolling her eyes, she screamed in frustration . . . "Sonofabitch!! THIS ONE'S BAREFOOT, TOO!"
Vets Advice on Dogs in Heat A dog lover, whose dog was a female and in heat, agreed to look after her neighbor's male dog while the neighbors were on vacation. She had a large house and believed that she could keep the two dogs apart. However, as she was drifting off to sleep she heard awful howling and moaning sounds, rushed downstairs and found the dogs locked together, in obvious pain and unable to disengage, as so frequently happens when dogs mate. Unable to separate them, and perplexed as to what to do next, although it was late, she called the vet, who answered in a very grumpy voice. Having explained the problem to him, the vet said, "Hang up the phone and place it down alongside the dogs. I will then call you back and the noise of the ringing will make the male lose his erection and he will be able to withdraw." "Do you think that will work?" she asked. "It just worked for me," he replied.
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Across 1. Feel sick 4. Device used to control sound volume 9. Mozart’s “L’_del Cairo” 10. Over 21 11. “__ any drop to drink”: Coleridge 12. Not rural 13. Concert finale 15. Carry out 16. Watered the plants 18. You and me 20. Senile person 23. Kingdom 25. “Rocky __” 26. See eye to eye 27. Big TV maker 28. Fertile soil 29. “Amen!” Down 1. Bang-up 2. Computer image 3. Coniferous tree 4. Groups for golf 5. Evil jinnee, demon, or monstrous giant 6. Apply gently 7. “Good grief!” 8. Ashcroft’s predecessor 773.213.4597
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La La’s Love Letters
By Lauren Strec
Dear La La, Whenever I give my husband oral sex the back of my mouth feels like it is going numb and my throat feels like it is closing up on me. I heard there are instructors out there that can help teach technique or do you think I could I possibly be allergic to his sperm? Numb Nina
Dear Nina, Being allergic is a realistic cause, and if that were the case, you would get a reaction from anywhere that the semen touches. With that said, have your husband do a “patch test”. Something tells me that he will be happy to help you with that. If you flare up, the mystery is solved and there is definitely treatment, which includes developing immunity by having more sex (seriously). But, I’m going to say it’s due to your technique. Before you shell out money for an instructor (I can’t stop thinking of the scene with Andy Dick in the movie, Old School), start off by doing a Google search. For you, I just typed in, “how to perform fellatio,” and there are instructional pages out there. It may help you with your mouth mechanics, and ease up the tension in your throat. Dear La La, I am newly single and in my 30’s. I’m not fat or anything but all the goods aren’t quite as proportioned as they used to be. So my problem is I would like to start dating again and obviously I want to look my best. Spanx is my best friend! Yes, I said it, SPANX! I use some tools to help a sister out, but what happens when I’m ready to take that really hot man home? Is he going to be like “What the hell is this?” Any advice? Hiding It Helen Dear Helen, Spanx are great for a quick fix, but they are merely a “bandage.” If I were a guy, I would definitely be disappointed if I were having casual sex with someone, and she was nothing as she appeared to be. Unless you want to wait to find a guy who will love you for who you are, the obvious, though not the easiest, solution is to get in the gym and watch what you eat. No hidden secret or miracle cure here. Age should not be a write-off for not being in shape; you make your body what you want it to be at any point in your life. Use your newfound singlehood to motivate you to get moving and be spanx-free. Dear La La, Before we got married, I noticed that my husband started to put on some weight. He says he can't stand the way his body looks and that it's just too much work for him to get aroused. I really love him and I just want him to be happy. Honestly though if he doesn’t start “putting out” I’m going to have to go fishing somewhere else. Am I going to look like the shallow bitch or does he have to take some ownership here? Corn Fused
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Dear Ms Fused, I think that you need to get his mojo flowing, by showing him that you still desire him, despite his weight. Compliment him outside of the bedroom, when there’s no pressure. For instance, before he leaves for work, tell him you’re going to be “thinking about his sexy ass all day.” Or reminisce about some hot encounters in the past. If he’s still too hung on his appearance and/or really can’t get moving, work with him to start shedding the weight. Plan healthy meals together, set goals, and be exercise buddies. Your support and is eventual weight loss will be a huge turn-on. Not to mention that you will also benefit in the healthy department, for helping out your hubby. Dear La La, I'm tell him you’re going to be “thinkFacebook friends ing about his sexy ass all day.” with six of my Or reminisce about some hot exes. Honestly, it encounters in the past. would have been weirder to unfriend them after having once been so close, especially when things ended amicably. Problem is my girlfriend is freaking out and checking my page daily to see if there is any communication going on. Will this pass or do I kick crazy-pants to the curb? Facebook Freindly Dear Mr Friendly, Either your girl got screwed over in the past, or you did something in the past to lose her trust. The remedy to this situation is gaining that trust. You simply have to sit down with her and explain that you recognize and respect her concern, and reassure her that they are of no desire anymore. Ask her to thoroughly elaborate on anything that would cause her to think otherwise, then talk it out. We all know communication is the grounds for a healthy relationship. So, do it. No waiting for it to pass, and no ending the relationship until you attempt to make sense of things. Push come to shove, if you’re into this girl, and it is really important to her that you prove your interest and commitment, then just unfriend the 6 ladies of the past. If they notice, simply explain the circumstances and that it may just be a temporary thing. If they are really friends, they’ll understand.
Lauren is a spokesmodel for tv, radio, live events, blogging, and social media. Connect at Facebook.com/LaurenStrec for tidbits, news, and fun photos.
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Signature Drink: Dragon Fruit
Ingredients: Kinky Liqueur, Soda, Pineapple Juice Words of Wisdom: "Never cry over spilled milk, it could have been whiskey!"
Ingredients: Bacardi Dragon Fruit, Strawberry Puree, Oranges, Apples, Club Soda Words of Wisdom: "Beer is proof God loves us."
Bartender: Adam
Bartender: Gina
Bobby McGee’s 10139 S. Harlem, Chicago Ridge
Nevin’s Brewing Company 12337 South Rt 59 Plainfield
Signature Drink: Adam Bomb
Signature Drink: Lemon Drop Martini
Ingredients: Bacardi O. Bacardi
Dragonberry, UV Grape, UV Cherry, Apple Pucker, Sour Redbull
Ingredients: Absolut, Orange Liqueur, Sugar, Fresh Squeezed Lemons Words of Wisdom: "Laugh at your problems, everybody else does."
Words of Wisdom: "I always take life with a grain of salt… plus a slice of lemon…and a shot of tequila."
MARCH BARTENDER OF THE MONTH IS... CONGRATULATIONS
Danielle
The Mystic 10649 S. Pulaski Rd Chicago “Love your enemies. It’ll make ‘em crazy” Rules: All service employees are eligible to win. The service employee who receives the most votes in the month wins. You can submit your vote by texting (773) 288-9400 or go to facebook.com/whatsupxtramagazine “like” our page and vote under the bartender’s photo or go to www.whatsupxtra.com
*The Pub Crawl will begin at the employee of the months bar and the limo bus will accommodate 24 passengers. Gratuity not included and must be paid prior to service
Only one vote is counted per person and voting polls close on March 20th. FACEBOOK.COM/WASSUPXTRAMAGAZINE
773.213.4597
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BAR DIRECTORY Alsip Bar 122 Dakota Inn Southsides
Berwyn
Cigars and Stripes Fitzgeralds James Joyce Pub Juniors Kickoffs Off The Traxx Perception Lounge Tiger O’Stylies
708-597-1122 708-388-6622 708-371-1133
55th Street Pub
6301 W. 73rd
708-728-6500
6715 W. Ogden Ave 6615 Roosevelt Rd 7138 Windsor 7011 Ogden Ave 6305 26th St 3144 S. Oak Park Ave 6814 W. Windsor 6300 W. Ogden
708-484-1043 708-788-2118 708-795-1100 708-484-9464 708-484-2466 708-637-4430 708-749-2484 708-795-1298
Bobby McGee’s O’Connor Pub Jack Desmond Jessie's Tavern Nickobee’s Lucky's Lounge
8000 S. Roberts Rd 7600 S. Harlem 8500 S. Harlem 7801 W. 79th Pl
708-594-5600 708-496-0300 708-598-7000 708-728-9696
361 N. Schmidt 730 N. Bolingbrook 132 N. Bolingbrook 220 Beacon Ridge 431 W. Boughton Rd 594 N. Pinecrest
630-459-6084 630-739-4646 630-739-1364 630-739-9810 630-679-1992 630-739-0575
Bridgeview All Star Sports Bar Illusions Tiger’s Lounge X’s & O’s Lounge
Bolingbrook Clemente’s Pub Gonzo’s Panama Connect Quarterdeck Tailgators T&T Lounge
Brookfield Irish Times Joe’s Saloon Johnny B’s Bar Local Bar Slager’s Bar
8869 Burlington` 9220 W. 47th 8436 Brookfield 3733 Grand Blvd 9308 47th
708-485-8787 708-485-9640 708-485-4504 708-255-5551 708-387-0317
5700 W. 79th 6501 W. 79th 5616 N. 87th 5406 W. 79th St 6353 W. 79th St 8642 S. Cicero 7107 W. 79th
708-529-3547 708-229-8700 708-423-1570 708-423-1523 708-233-9148 708-424-3720 708-599-6399
14540 S Torrence Ave 3000 E. 138th St
708-862-3139 708-933.6360
666 Hirsch Avenue 148 155th Street 335 154th Place 31 154th Place 816 Burnham Avenue 1245 Burnham Ave
708-891-9290 708-891-9073 708-862-2386 708-891-9748 708-832-3847 708-862-2966
Burbank Castle Inn Chuck’s Voodoo Dalton's Pub Durbins Frank's Place Maggie McGuires Tic N Tin Tap
Burnham Brown Jug Tally Ho
Calumet City Bagley’s Boss’s Lounge John L’s Place Lauers Pub Harry O’s The Hideaway
Chicago
12219 S. Pulaski 12119 S. Crawford 11860 S Cicero
Bedford Park Buzz Bomb
Where are you going tonight?:
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4201 W. 55th St.
773-582-8839
Chicago Ridge 10139 S. Harlem 5900 W. 111th 10339 Ridgeland 10501 Ridgeland 10301 Southwest 6605 95th St
708-529-3526 708-422-6400 708-857-7910 708-499-0048 708-499-2643 708-237-3776
9901 W. 55th 917 W. 55th 10901 Joliet Rd
708-354-3333 708-354-0991 708-246-3188
802 Theodore 1200 Cedarwood 20631 W. Renwick 2115 Plainfield 2357 Plainfield
815-726-3401 815-741-4318 815-838-5234 815-744-4159 815-725-2252
13602 S. Cicero 13430 S. Cicero 13815 Cicero Ave 13430 S Cicero
708-388-8862 708-371-7665 708-597-2415 708-371-7665
1358 Main St 1338 Main St 940 Steger Rd
708-672-9449 708-279-7163 708-672-1167
8109 S. Cass Ave
630-739-2999
Flossmore Station 1035 Sterling Ave North Woods 800 Kedzie Ave
708-957-2739 708-957-5600
Countryside Harry’s bar Kenny’s Tavern Rafferty’s
Crest Hill
Bada Brew Bobby McGees Chaoz Sports Gusto’s Marty’s Place
Crestwood Brazen Head Doc’s Lounge Mitch's Pub Pockets Billiards
Crete Chuck's Place Ignorant Bliss NorthWoods
Darien
Q’s Billiards
Flossmore
Frankfort
Jameson Pub 9545 W. Saint Francis Local Bar 7900 W. Lincoln Hwy Old Plank Tavern 113 Kansas
815-469-0500 815-469-9450 815-464-1004
Hazel Crest Sidebar 167
Hickory Hills Cravens Pub Kowal's Bar Prime Time
Homer Glen Cool River Davidson Bar Mullets Pelican Harrys
2905 W. 167th St
708-596-5055
8833 W. 87th St 9401 S. Roberts Rd 7750 W. 95th St
708-237-1705 708-598-0835 708-599-2333
12622 W. 159th 14136 S. Bell Rd 14903 S. Bell Rd 14807 Founders Xing
708-301-8006 708-645-0000 708-645-7000 708-301-5555
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BAR DIRECTORY
Where are you going tonight?: Homewood Fifth Quarter Tap Lassen’s Bar Ridgewood Tap
18105 Dixie Hwy 2131 183rd 2059 Ridge Rd
708-798-2710 708-957-2220 708-798-1414
Joliet Izzy’s
507 Theodore St
815-727-4999
Davern’s Tavern 8527 W. 79th New Bridges Bar 8531 W. 79th
708-924-6003 708-728-9990
Lansing J.J. Kelley’s Kilroy’s
2455 Bernice Rd 3502 Ridge Rd
708-474-9977 708-895-5233
Lemont Canal St Pub Illinois Bar Nick’s Tavern The Vault Tom’s Place Stonehouse Pub
309 Canal St 1131 State St 221 Main St 308 Canal St 110 Stephen St 103 Stephen St
630-257-7438 630-257-0666 630-257-6564 630-312-8380 630-257-9875 630-257-1300
Lockport Carters Place Fat Sam’s Jackie’s Place Paradise Bay Outpost Stella’s On State
122 W. 9th 122 E. 9th 1016 S. State 105 W 10th St 14929 Archer Ave 823 S. State St
815-838-7881 815-838-4420 815-588-0715 815-838-6513 815-836-8893 815-834-2780
Lyons Tap Marlin’s McCafferty’s Pub Ricky D’s Place
8143 W. 47th 7236 Pershing Rd 8107 Ogden 7901 Ogden
708-853-9600 708-442-2645 708-442-0630 708-442-8688
McCook All Star Bar
7949 W. 47th
708-442-8600
3625 W 159th 15745 Kedzie Ave
708-331-5860 708-225-1844
Lyons
Markham
Merrionette Park 115 Bourbon Street 3359 W. 115th
708-388-8881
Midlothian Durbin’s Jack’s Place Sullivans
14753 S. Cicero 3915 147th St. 4660 147th St
708-687-1700 708-489-2250 708-385-4100
10160 W. 191st 18700 Old LaGrange Rd 9630 Willow
708-479-6873 708-478-3610 708-479-1302
2101 Calistoga
815-462-2000
Mokena 191 South Morgan’s Post Game Pub
New Lenox Charleston’s
Bar Tini Lounge Sweet Spot
2433 DesPlaines 2531 DesPlaines
708-853-9143 708-443-5770
15400 Cicero 15501 S.Cicero 15427 Cicero
708-535-4800 708-535-8960 708-535-6374
Oak Forest Blarney Stone Marcotte’s Tap's Pub
Oak Lawn
Justice
Envy’s Pub George's Place
North Riverside
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Cullens Pub 9953 Southwest Hwy Demma's Bar 5805 W. 87th Pl George's Lounge 5407 W. 95th Goal Post 5207 W. 95th St. Hot Corner 4913 W. 95th St Inn Zone Bar 9904 Southwest Hwy Murphy's Law 9247 S. Cicero Quigley’s 4010 W. 111th R Place Lounge 9848 Southwest Hwy St James 5305 W. 95th St. Tailgators 9256 S. Cicero Tavern on the West End 6950 W 95th St
708-424-7286 708-636-1240 708-636-0223 708-422-5275 708-422-1884 708-636-1555 708-952-4774 708-425-1330 708-423-1350 708-430-1298
Orland Park Coaches Corner Danny’s Corner Fat Sams Jordans Pub Zantes Lounge
8116 W. 143rd St 9400 W, 143rd St 15896 S. LaGrange Rd 13500 S. Harlem 8888 W. 159th St
708-364-1026 708.226.9223 708-403-0733 708-460-8330 708-364-0100
Palos Heights Joe Daniels Sam Bucas Mister Mo’s X’s & O’s Lounge
12218 S. Harlem 12231 S. Harlem 7214 College Dr 6405 W. 127th
708-923-9902 708-361-1226 708-671-0288 708-824-9600
10154 S. Roberts Rd 11011 Southwest 8300 W. 107th St. 9750 S. Roberts Rd 10307 S Roberts Rd
708-598-8881 708-974-9085 708-974-0509 708-576-8142 708-233-6400
15014 S. DesPlaines 24001 W. Lockport 24035 W. Lockport 7162 Caton 706 W Lockport 24002 W. Lockport 16108 S. Rte 59
815-609-0000 815-609-8445 815-436-9395 815-609-0192 815-436-4529 815-733-5148 815-782-7410
14401 S. Sherman 2838 W. 147th St 14344 S. Mckinley 14347 McKinley 14346 S. Western
708-385-0171 708-385-2509 708-371-7484 708-388-2006 708-388-7335
Palos Hills Durbin’s Red Velvet Valley Inn Village Pub Zante Lounge
Plainfield
Backdoor Pub Gunther’s Bar Gruben’s Tap McBride’s Pub O’Sullivan’s Pub Tap House The Penalty Box
Posen D & D's Tavern Granny's Place Guzzlers J&J’s Pub Posen Pub
Bar Directory Continued on page 22 773.213.4597
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BAR DIRECTORY
Computer going sideways?
The Tech Shop
Romeoville Stone City Saloon 721 N Independence
805-524-4677
(424) 652-TECH
708-755-2277 708-248-5380 708-754-6848
Virus Removal, Back-ups, Hardware/Software Installation, Computer Builds, Network Consultation, Home Network Installation, Server Design, Jailbreaking
South Chicago Heights Baps Tap Prisco’s Tony G's
164 W. Sauk Trail 11 W. Sauk Tr 33 W. Sauk Tr
Steger J Martins Tap 81 E. 34th St Jack's Bar & Grill 436 W. 34th St Jolt N Joes 3215 Union
708-755-6152 708-754-7000 708-755-3330
On-Site or at The Shop "Most MAC/PC/LINUX Repair ONLY $75"
Stickney 39th St. Pub
6611 Pershing Rd
708-484-2466
“When you stumble… make it part of the dance.”
Stone Park El Gusanito
3600 North Ave
708-865-4411
7245 W. Archer
708-458-1900
Summit Europe
Tinley Park Bailey’s Bar Cuzins Tavern Dendrino's Durbins JWHollsteins Old Tinley Pub Teehan's
17731 Oak Park 17704 Oak Park 18305 Oak Park 17265 Oak Park 17348 Oak Park 17020 Oak Park 17329 Oak Park
708-429-7955 708-633-1144 708-532-1639 708-429-1000 708-429-7000 708-532-4409 708-532-9707
– The Wino
Dinner Invitation
A man invites his friend back home for dinner. The wife screams at him . . ."I've not done my hair, not done my makeup, not done any housework, not done the dishes & can't be bothered with cooking! What the hell did you invite him around for?" "Cuz he's thinking of getting married."
Willow Springs Connies Grove Inn 8258 Kean Ave Friendly Tap 8240 Archer Ave Neon Moon Saloon 8236 Kean Ave
708-839-1959 708-839-9508 708-839-8090
Willowbrook Kerry Piper Maxums Phillies Bar
7900 Joliet Rd 9300 S. Kingery 6300 S. Kingery
630-325-3732 630-789-6800 630-654-0101
6315 Main 1999 W 75th St
630-964-8454 630-985-5945
Woodbridge Cabana Charleys Shanahans
Worth Bar Code 111 7016 W 111th Street The Chieftan 6908 W 111th Street Phil Mc Krackens 6602 111th Street
708 448-4040 708 827-5739 708)671-8090
To be listed in our bar directory call 773.213.4597 Check out our new website...
www.whatsupxtra.com Read the magazine online
“like us” on facebook our bartender candidates of the month reach 10,000 people per month on facebook
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THE LIGHTER SIDE
Overheard
Two men sank into adjacent train seats after a long day in the city. One asked the other, "Your son go back to college yet?" "Two days ago." "Mine's a senior this year. In May, he'll be an engineer. What's your boy going to be when he graduates?" "At the rate he's going, I'd say he'll be about thirty."
Are You Smarter Than CHESTER “The Sock Monkey”? 1. UCLA went to ten Final Four appearances between 1967 to 1966. Duke and which team were tied, as of 2001, for second place with five consecutive appearances? a. North Carolina, b. Wake Forest, c. Indiana, d. Cincinnati 2. What was the last Ivy League School to make the Final Four? a. Harvard, b. Penn, c. Brown, d. Yale
"No, I mean what's he taking in college?"
3. What team won the 1966 championship? a. UCLA, b. Texas Western, c. North Carolina, d. Duke
"He's taking every penny I make." "Doesn't he burn the midnight oil enough?"
4. What team has lost the most Final Four games between 1939 to 2001? a. Duke, b. Indiana, c. North Carolina, d. Kansas
"He doesn't get in early enough to burn the midnight oil." "Well, has sending him to college done anything at all?"
5. What is the only PAC 10 team to win a national championship between 1960 to 2001, other than UCLA? a. USC, b. Stanford, c. Arizona, d. Oregon
"Oh, yeah! It totally cured his mother of bragging about him."
How Long? Two statisticians were traveling from LA to New York. An hour into the flight, the pilot announced that they had lost an engine, but not to worry, there were three left. But instead of 5 hours it would take 7 hours to get to New York. Later, he announced that a second engine failed, and they still had two left, but it would take 10 hours to get to New York. When the pilot again announced that a third engine had died. Never fear, he announced, because the plane could fly on a single engine. However, it would now take 18 hours to get to New York. They were so aggravated that one said, "Good Lord, I hope we don't lose another one or we'll be up here forever!"
Hotel Guest
6. This team was one of two # 11 seeds since 1985 to make the Final Four, the lowest seeds to do so. a. George Mason in 2006, b. Old Dominion in 2000, c. North Carolina in 1990, d. Indiana in 2001 7. This was the other # 11 team to make the Final Four in that time span. a. Ohio State in 1999, b. Wisconsin in 2003, c. LSU in 1986, d. Florida State in 2000 8. This was the last team to win the championship with an undefeated record. a. Indiana in 1987, b. Indiana in 1976, c. Duke in 2000, d. Kentucky in 1990 9. What was the last team to enter the Final Four with an undefeated record? a. Michigan State, b. Indiana State, c. North Carolina, d. UNLV 10. What conference was the first ever to have three teams in the Final Four? a. Big East, b. Big Ten, c. Pac 10, d. ACC
Hotel wake-up calls are awful. The phone keeps ringing. It's loud and you can't turn it down. I leave the number of the room next to me. It just rings very quietly and you hear a guy yell, "Why are you calling me?” Then I get up and take a shower. It's great.
HELP WANTED CALL FOR DETAILS 773.213.4597 FACEBOOK.COM/WASSUPXTRAMAGAZINE
773.213.4597
6. a 7. c 8. b 9. d 10. a
Answers
1. d 2. b 3. b 4. a 5. c
NO EXPERIENCE NECESSARY PART TIME AND FULL TIME EXTRA INCOME
Continued on page 24
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www.FightCard.net FIGHTCARD48: RUTHLESS did not disappoint fans as being one of the best events to be seen in a long time, ending with a highly anticipated main event. Both Curtis Blaydes and Daniel James have made huge names for themselves in the Midwest as being the “big men” in the cage, but it was clear that this fight would determine who was the better fighter. As for Friday night, on that day, Blaydes proved he is the best around. Blaydes finished his challenger in the first round with a head & arm choke, leaving James almost unconcious before referee Rob Madrigal stepped in naming Curtis Blaydes the new FIGHTCARD Heavyweight Champion
Want to Compete? Contact Nilo @ 312.369.4180
To be in front of your hometown and defend your title against Russian supertar, Anatol Grama would be alot of pressure for some, but at the end of the day a true champion was revealed in Jose “Machine Gun” Mariscal. ”This is definitely the toughest fight I have ever been in.” the Champion states. “Being such a hard fight just makes the victory that much more rewarding.” (Pictured) “These guys belong in the UFC. That was the best fight I have seen live and on T.V” one fan sais after the fight. Mariscal and Grama went through a war of touch and go moments that seemed would end the fight at any time, showcasing all facets of the MMA game in their conquest for FIGHTCARD gold. Mariscal seemed to be winning every round and finally finished Grama in the fourth round with a submission. Mariscal will be only the second FIGHTCARD fighter to successfully defend the 155lb title since Guillermo Serment’s reign as Champion. Jose put on the fight of his life for his fans, friends and family, showcasing the spirit of a true champion. (Pictured) Results of Fight Card 48: Ruthless Adrian Ortega def Willie Ishman via Tko/KO in the 1st Round. Patrick Pamon def Bobby Findlay via KO in the 1st Round. Frank Woodhall def Andy Von Schwedler via Tko in the 2nd Round. Kyle Kurt def Pauly Prenot via Tko in the 1st Round. (Muay Thai) Ginger Velasco def Alexis Dederfield via decision (29-28). Michael Nace def Ben Rodgers via Tko/KO in the 1st Round. Angelo Rivera Jr def Govine Greco via submission (Gullotine Choke) in the 1st Round. Jose Torres Def Dylan Rode via Submission (Head/Arm Choke) in the 1st Round. (Muay Thai) Vik Dixit def Cesar Ordorica via split decision. Gerardo Trejo def Angelo Walsh via Decision (29-27). Danny Flores def Ray Bunker via Armbar in the 1st Round.
RING GIRL INQUIRY? Email Brian@FightCard.net
Lightweight Championship Bout
Jose Mariscal def Anatol Grama via submission (Rear Naked Choke) in the 4th Round.
Heavyweight Championship Bout
Curtis Blaydes def Daniel James via submission (Head/Arm Choke) in the 1st Round.
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DOC’S LOUNGE & P CKETS Billiards 13430 S CICERO CRESTWOOD 708-371-7665 Sun - Thur 10am - 2pm / Fri & Sat 10am - 3am
VIDEO GAMING IS HERE!!!
Pizza - Appetizers - Sandwiches - 24 Pool Tables Shuffleboard - Darts - Bean Bags - Patio - Free Wifi The teacher asks the kids in class: "What do you want to be when you grow up? Little Johnny, said “I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Copacabana, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day". The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson. And you, Susie? "I wanna be Johnny's bitch!"
Starting The Day With PUNS I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now. I tried to catch some fog. I mist. When chemists die they barium. Jokes about German sausage are the wurst. I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. Says he can stop any time. I stayed up all night to see where the sun goes. Then it dawned on me. This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down. I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words. They told me I had type A blood, but it was a Type O. I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
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IN C L C UD NE A E W P S S U P LE R S IZE
XER Game
BO
You haven’t boxed a Boxer till you’ve boxed...
THE GLOVE
For Fun For Tournaments
Bars and Event Coordinators call 773.213.4597
to order the Boxer at no cost & learn more about profit opportunities
New Machines: prizes paid out through the machine for top scores, wheel of fun,. and more...
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DO YOUR WANT MORE AZZES IN THE SEATS? DOES ADVERTISING WORK? IT JUST DID - PRINT & CALL 773.213.4597 MAGAZINE / ONLINE
Riddle Ri ddle of the Month What does man love more than life? Fear more than death or mortal strife? What do the poor have, what the rich require, And what contented men desire? What does the miser spend, the spendthrift save, And all men carry to their graves?
WIN A $25
GIFT CERTIFICATE
Text your answers to: 773-288-9400 or e-mail: whatsupxtra@yahoo.com Leave your name, e-mail, and telelphone number. All correct answers go into drawing.
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Answer to Last Months Riddle Here on earth, yesterday is always before today; but there is a place where yesterday always follows today. Where? Answer: In a Dictonary Winner: Jill Sansone CHECK OUT OUR NEW WEBSITE @ WWW.WHATSUPXTRA.COM
BACONFEST CHICAGO?
Baconfest Chicago is a nationally renowned, locally beloved festival dedicated to America’s favorite cured meat: bacon! At Baconfest, Chicago’s best chefs concoct and serve brilliant bacon dishes to thousands of passionate bacon lovers. Liquor sponsors provide cocktails, beer and wine designed to complement a bacon meal. Bacontrepreneurs and bacon-friendly brands exhibit their wares and connect with our bacon community. A panel of judges bestows the Golden Rasher awards on chefs and guests for achievement in the bacon arts. It is a raucous, rockin’ good time for everybody involved. Best of all, Baconfest donates a portion of the proceeds to the Greater Chicago Food Depository. They host a raffle and food drive at the event to support the GCFD’s mission and have even run a Baconfest volunteer day at the Depository’s repacking warehouse to help eliminate hunger in our communities! In 2013 and previous years, Baconfest tickets have sold out extremely quickly. Be sure to sign up for the email-list at http:// baconfestchicago.com/contact/join-mailing-list. This year Baconfest Chicago will be held at the UIC FORUM located at 725 W Roosevelt Road in Chicago. Announcing the Baconfest Chicago 2013 Cocktail Challenge… Interested in winning free tickets to the SOLD OUT Baconfest Chicago on April 20th? Then be sure to enter The Baconfest Chicago 2013 Best Bacon Cocktail Challenge (or the BFCBBCC for short…) This entire competition is being curated and conducted by Veteran Baconfest Chicago Mixologist extraordinaire Mike Ryan of Sable Kitchen & Bar. He’s been spinning bacon cocktails at Baconfest Chicago since 2010. So here’s how it works: Submit your bacon-cocktail recipes by carefully following the instructions below:
• Deadline to submit is April 5th at noon • Must be an original recipe • Must use actual bacon or bacon-fat as an ingredient. Bacon vodka, pork stock, etc are NOT applicable. • Recipe must be measured in fluid ounces • Recipe must have a name • Recipes that have ingredients which are originally produced (i.e. smoked cherries, syrups, etc) must include recipes for those ingredients • If possible, please submit a photo of your cocktail
Submit recipes to andre@baconfestchicago.com Finalists will be notified by April 8th and will be required to:
• Attend the Judges Panel hosted by Mike Ryan at Sable Kitchen & Bar on Saturday April 13th at 12 noon. • Be ready to prepare and to present your cocktail to Mike and a select panel of judges. • Be prepared to mix a maximum of five cocktail samples. You must bring your own key ingredients. You will have access to the resources of the full Sable Bar at your disposal as you prepare your creation for the contest.
The winner of this year’s contest will be announced immediately following the judging on April 13th. The victor will be given a pair of tickets to Baconfest Chicago on Saturday, April 20th at the UIC Forum. There you have it Bacon-Nation. Who out there thinks they have a bacon-cocktail that will blow our socks off? Bring it on!
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APRIL EVENTS MARK YOUR CALENDARS
April 1 – SOX home opener – Sox vs. KC at The Cell @ 3:10 April 7, 14, 21, 28 - Free admission at the DuSable Museum of African American history from noon to 5pm. www.dusablemuseum.org April 2, 9, 16, 23, 30 - Free admission at the Museum of Contemporary Art (plus free tours on Tuesdays at 1pm, 2pm and 6pm) and the Museum of Surgical Science. mcachicago.org April 4, 11, 18, 25 – Free admission at the Art Institute from 5pm to 8pm. www.artic.edu April 4, 11, 18, 25 – Free admission at the Peggy Notebaert Nature Museum all day. www.naturemuseum.org April 12 – Pilsen 2nd Friday Art Walk - The 30 or so galleries in the Arts District open their doors for free exhibits from 6pm – 10pm. chicagoartsdistrict.org
April 20 – Baconfest Celebrate all things bacon baconfestchicago.com April 20 - Windy City Rollers Watch Chicago’s roller derby girls in action. www.windycityrollers.com April 7, 14, 21, 28 – Free for All. Free improv comedy shows at the Playground. Best of all, shows are BYOB. www.the-playground.com April 8 – Cubs home opener – Cubs vs. Milwaukee Brewers at Wrigley Field. 1:20 April 14 – Greek Independence Day parade in Greektown at 2:30pm. www.greekfestivalslisting.com April 15 – 21 – Spa Week. Over 30 Chicago area spas are offering deep discounts on treatments. April 20 – Zombie Pub Crawl. Revelers dressed like zombies (with elaborate make-up and costumes) take over Andersonville bars. chicagozombie.com April 26-28 – Chicago Comic and Entertainment Expo. www.c2e2.com April 26 - Taste over 200 kinds of whisky at Whiskyfest. www.whiskyfestblog.com
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Edward Kennedy “Duke” Ellington In the beginning the earth was void and without jazz. Some Cool Cats Invented Jazz And then there was Duke Ellington and the cats got busy. All the elements of jazz were here in 1899 when Edward Kennedy "Duke" Ellington was born in a middle-class African-American neighborhood in Washington, D.C. The sexy and melancholy blues were here with roots in gospel. There was sassy ragtime. And all the classical compositions of the European kings were here. But it took the elegant Ellington to take them all and mix them up and the result was what some people called Jazz, but what Duke Ellington called American Music, according to Biography.com. A pianist by age 7, a band leader by age 24, a worldwide sensation in radio, film and concerts by age 31, it's not surprising that by the time the Duke died in 1974, it would take a museum to hold his work, specifically the legendary Smithsonian Museum. That great institution of America culture since 1988 has held his memorabilia and thousands of manuscripts of compositions. Though it would no doubt draw the wrath of his fans to single out a list of compositions as his best, people who aren't familiar with Ellington have the advantage of iTunes and YouTube to get a taste of what the great one imagined: • Mood Indigo (1930; Ellington, Bigard). Known for its introduction that mixed sections of the band. You'll hear a trumpet, trombone, and clarinet (by Barney Bigard) join voices at the beginning, an innovation. (NPR Top 100) • Take the A Train (1938; Stayhorn, Ellington). Jazz standard. • Second Sacred Concert (1940s; various). Check out Ellington's sacred music: Supreme Being; The Shepherd; and Something About Believing.
Every year April is the month for Jazz appreciation at the Smithsonian. The April 2013 theme is Salute to Great Ensembles of Jazz. Check out the great jazz rooms of Chicago at www.whatsupxtra.com
Used Flat Stomach A little boy walks into his parents' room to see his mom on top of his dad, bouncing up and down... The mom sees her son and quickly dismounts, worried about what herson has just seen and what he will think of it. She dresses quickly and goes to find him. The son asks his mom, "What were you and Dad doing?" The mother replies, "Well, you know son, your dad has a big tummy and sometimes I have to get on top of it and help flatten it out." "You're wasting your time," said the boy matter of factly. "Why is that, son?" the mom asked puzzled. "Well, when you go shopping the lady next door comes over and gets on her knees and blows it right back up again!"
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Celebrating 18 Paddy had long heard the stories of an amazing family tradition. It seems that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all been able to walk on water on their 18th birthday. On that special day, they'd each walked across the lake to the pub on the far side for their first legal drink. So when Paddy's 18th birthday came around, he and his pal Mick, took a boat out to the middle of the lake, Paddy, stepped out of the boat ...and nearly drowned! Mick just barely managed to pull him to safety. Furious and confused, Paddy went to see his grandmother . "Grandma," he asked, "Tis me 18th birthday, so why can't I walk across the lake like me father, his father and his father before him?" Granny looked deeply into Paddy's, troubled blue eyes and said, "Because ye father, ye grandfather and ye great-grandfather were all born in December, when the lake is frozen, and ye were born in August, ya fookin idiot!"
A Normal Night At The Movies A farmer decided He wanted to go to town and see a movie. The ticket agent asked, "Sir, what's that on your shoulder?" The old farmer said, "That's my pet rooster chuck. Wherever i go, chuck goes." "I'm sorry sir," said the ticket agent "We can't allow animals in the theater." The old farmer went around the corner and stuffed chuck down his overalls. Then he returned to the booth, bought a ticket, and entered the theater. He sat down next to two old widows named ethel & mildred. The movie started and the rooster began to squirm. .. .. The old farmer unbuttoned his fly so Chuck could stick his head out and watch the movie. "Ethel", whispered mildred. "What?" Said ethel. "I think the guy next to me is a pervert." "What makes you think so?" Asked ethel?
“Confidence doesn't come out of nowhere. It's a result of something…hours and days and weeks and years of constant work and dedication.” - Roger Staubach, businessman, former NFL quarterback
"He undid his pants and he has his thing out", whispered mildred. "Well, don't worry about it", said ethel.. "At our age we've seen 'em all" "I thought so too", said mildred, "But this one is eatin' my popcorn...!"
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