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HAPPY EASTER Sunday April 20
TABLE OF OUR ST A FF CONTENTS keith romack publisher
6 out and about photos 8 news AND STUFF
Lisa romack Sales Director
12 ask the wino 13 HOROSCOPE 14 are you smarter than chester
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16 tales from the chris 18 trivia open mic karaoke
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19 LA LA LOVE LETTERS 20 featured bartenders 21 BARTENDER OF THE MONTH
Check us out online - Read the magazine, Photos & More... www.whatsupxtra.com
Front page photo taken at LP Stadium The name What’s Up Xtra Magazine is a registered trade name, and use of this name is strictly prohibited. The contents of this publication are copyrighted What’s Up Xtra Chicago Magazine -2014 We encourage our readers to write their stories, send photos, and make comments. All submissions sent to us by phone, email, fax, or handwritten become the property of What’s Up Xtra Chicago Magazine.
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Robert Christiansen Column Writer
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23 sudoku crossowrd wordfind
Suzi Lichner Contributing jokester lauren strec contributing writer
25-28 bar directory 30 out and about photos
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Joe Likes It On The Porch Joe’s wife likes to sing so she decided to join the church choir. From time to time she would practice while she was in the kitchen preparing dinner. Whenever she would start in on a song, Joe would head outside to the porch. His wife, with hurt feelings, said, “What’s the matter, Joe? Don’t you like my singing?”
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Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is to try just one more time. Thomas A. Edison
Joe replied, “Honey, I love your singing, but I just want to make sure the neighbors know I’m not beating you.”
A Mood Ring is Not Always A Good Idea My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods. We’ve discovered that when I’m in a good mood, it turns green. When I’m in a bad mood, it leaves a big red mark on his fat forehead. FACEBOOK.COM/WHATSUPXTRAMAGAZINE
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White Sox Home Opener March 31st Cubs Home Openers Friday April 4th NCAA Final Four Games Saturday April 5th Monday April 7th NCAA Championship We’ll be watching World Cup 3333 N. DAMEN
How To Get Out of A Ticket or Not An Illinois State trooper pulled a car over on I-90 about 2 miles west of the O’Hare Airport. When the trooper asked the driver why he was speeding, the driver said he was a juggler and was on his way to do a show at the Shrine Circus. He didn't want to be late. The trooper told the driver he was fascinated by juggling and said if the driver would do a little juggling for him then he wouldn't give him a ticket. He told the trooper he sent his equipment ahead and didn't have anything to juggle. The trooper said he had some flares in the trunk and asked if he could juggle them. The juggler said he could, so the trooper got 5 flares, lit them and handed them to him. While the man was juggling, a car pulled in behind the patrol car. A drunken good old boy traveling from Indiana got out, watched the performance, then went over to the patrol car, opened the rear door and got in. The trooper observed him and went over to the patrol car, opened the door asking the drunk what he thought he was doing. The drunk replied, "You might as well take my ass to jail, cause there ain't no way I can pass that test." FACEBOOK.COM/WHATSUPXTRAMAGAZINE
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News & Stuff E-Cig Regulation Changes Gun Confiscation At Airport People of any age can buy them, and they come in hundreds of flavors from fruity and sweet to your favorite tobacco. An e-cigarette is a cartridge filled with a nicotine solution. It has a battery to power a coil that heats the solution into vapor. The tip glows blue instead of red. The nicotine is the same as found in cigarettes and nicotine patches. Some public health concerns: *Encourages former smokers to switch to e-cigarettes even though there's no long-term research about health risks. According to Bloomberg BusinessWeek, there could be an increase in the number of Americans who smoke. * For some, it will be a gateway product. It will encourage them and young smokers to develop the nicotine habit, which would lead back to regular cigarettes. * Teenagers can buy them and start smoking right away. With regular cigarettes, they would get dizzy, cough and have to learn how to inhale. At the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the rise of e-cigarettes is being prominently discussed. * While not inhaling nicotine smoke reduces the risk of lung cancer, e-cigarettes bring other problems. Nicotine is a vasoconstrictor that narrows blood vessels and drives up blood pressure. If inhaled several times a day, it's hard to imagine the long-term health effects. Further, no one knows what inhaling those "generally recognized as safe" glycerin and propylene glycol additives, will do to the lungs over time. Under former mayor Michael Bloomberg, New York expanded the ban on smoking in public places to include e-cigarettes. In Chicago, Mayor Rahm Emanuel did the same thing. In Brazil, e-cigarettes have been banned outright.
How to think like Navy SEALS
Because of their intense training, Navy SEALs are not only tough but they're experts at setting goals. Retired SEAL Commander Mark Divine, co-author of The Way of the Seal: Think Like an Elite Warrior, gives this advice in USA WEEKEND. 1) Focus on one major thing, define it well, then focus until you make it happen. Ask yourself, "Does my schedule get me closer to my goal?" 2) See your success. Imagine your goal in the most concrete terms: what it looks and feels like and what you need to achieve it. 3) Set wayside goals. On your path to the prize, set and achieve smaller wayside goals mark your way forward. These give you momentum.
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Checkpoints On The Rise
Be warned. Even if you are a licensed gun owner, your weapon will be confiscated if you are carrying it or have it in your carryon. The Transportation Security Administration found 1,828 guns on travelers preparing to board planes in 2013, a 20 percent increase from 2012. To bring a gun on a trip, it must be unloaded, in a secure container, and stored in checked baggage. About 84 percent of the confiscated weapons were loaded, and one in three had a bullet in the chamber, a TSA study shows. The weapons most frequently confiscated were .38-caliber and 9 mm handguns. Jeffrey Price, who follows aviation security as a professor at Metropolitan State University in Denver, says travelers have become more relaxed as the attacks of Sept. 11, 2001 recede into history. But the expansion of risk-based screening such as Pre-check, which focuses on less-frequent travelers, also might be responsible for officers finding more contraband.
Some Buses Can Spout Warnings To Pedestrians Everyone knows those people. You can't sit at a table with them and chat because, when it is your turn to talk, their head is in their smartphone. Distracted interaction of all sorts is insulting, but distracted walking has become downright dangerous. People have fallen off piers, fallen into fountains, walked into oncoming traffic. According to CBS News, on city streets, in suburban parking lots and in shopping centers, there are usually people strolling while talking on a phone, or a person texting with his People have fallen head down, listening to music, or playoff piers, fallen into ing a video game. The problem isn't as fountains... widely discussed as distracted driving, but the danger is real. An Ohio State University study shows that thousands of people are treated in emergency rooms each year, and the number is growing. Distracted walking has become such a problem that cities are taking steps to stop it. In Portland, Ore., the TriMet transit agency is installing flashing lights on its buses or having them issue audio warnings -- "Bus is turning!" -- as officials search for the most effective way to wake up pedestrians. In Rexburg, Idaho, there's a $50 fine for texting while in a crosswalk. One Nevada state lawmaker says, "Texting is like a drug. People are addicted." WWW.WHATSUPXTRA.COM
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Sex and How Often? A noted sex therapist realized that people often lied about the frequency of their encounters, so he devised a test to tell for certain how often someone has had sex.
A New Life Extend to each person, no matter how trivial the contact, all the care and kindness and understanding that you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again. Og Mandino, author and consultant
To prove his theory, he ďŹ lled an auditorium with people, and went down the line, asking each person to smile. Using the size of the person's smile, the therapist was able to guess accurately until he came to the last man in line, an elderly gentleman, who was grinning from ear to ear. "Twice a day," the therapist guessed. But the therapist was surprised when the man says no. "Once a day, then?" Again the answer is no. "Twice a week?" "No." "Twice a month?" "No." The man ďŹ nally said yes when the doctor got to "once a year." The therapist is angry that his theory isn't working, and asks the elderly gentleman, "What the heck are you so happy about?" The gent answered, "Tonight's the night!" FACEBOOK.COM/WHATSUPXTRAMAGAZINE
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Everything Seems To Be Fine An elderly married couple scheduled their medical examination on the same day so that they could answer any questions the doctor might have concerning their partner. After the husband's exam, the doctor then said to the elderly man, "You appear to be in good health. Do you have any medical concern that you would like to ask me?" "In fact, I do," said the old man. "After I have sex with my wife the first time, I am usually hot and sweaty, and then, after I have sex with my wife the second time, I'm usually cold and chilly." The doctor said that he would examine the wife, and then report back to the man. After examining the elderly lady, the doctor said: "Everything appears to be fine. Do you have any medical concerns that you would like to discuss with me?" The lady replied that she had no questions or concerns. The doctor then asked: "Your husband had an unusual concern. He claims that he is usually hot and sweaty after having sex the first time with you, and then cold and chilly after the second time. Do you know why?" "Oh that crazy old nut", she replied. "That's because the first time is usually in July and the second time is usually in December!"
Champions aren't made in gyms but from something they have deep inside them: a desire, a dream, a vision. Muhammad Ali, champion boxer
ASK THE WINO... About Spring Love
WINO: Doug Simmons Drink of Choice: Two Fingers of Cognac Like’s: hips, lips and fingertips Dislike’s: cobweb booty and spider nipples
Rachel, a hair stylist asks: My parents are very strict about whom I can marry. Do you have any advice on where I can find a nice Jewish boy that won’t freak out my Orthodox parents? WINO: “Don’t be so closed-minded, baby. We’re all the same color when the lights are out. I’m in between ladies right now, how about you and I feel it out, I’d like to part your “Red Sea” with my “meat Moses”, and my ladies parents generally dig me. Mindy, a personal trainer asks: I feel like my boyfriend doesn’t take me seriously, because he knew I was awkward in high school. Why does he think it’s okay to constantly belittle me? WINO: The hell if I know! Back in the day, there was this girl on my block that had a bad case of the crotch spiders. They used to call her “Dirty Diaper Denise” ‘cuz of the way she walked. Anyhow if your Man isn’t doing it for you I’ll play slap and tickle with you. Becky, a retail clerk asks: I’ve been overweight my whole life, but my husband wants me to lose a ton of weight so I can wear his mother’s dress for our wedding next month. What should I do!?! WINO: “Not a damn thing! I’ll take a crack at ‘dat crack, right now! The bigger the waistband, the deeper the quicksand, baby. Goddamn!, I gotta run take care of business, cops around here don’t like my taking care of business out in the open.”
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APRIL HOROSCOPE ARIES: You'll find that your sensitive side leaves you open to many possibilities. It helps target your goals and work toward them. Don't plunge in. First create a plan.
LIBRA: You may need to smile even though you don't feel like it. The smile can perk up your winning attitude, make you look good, and generate cooperation.
TAURUS: While you are an excellent manager of money, you will occasionally splurge to get something you want. It's OK, just don’t go overboard. You'll still pay the bills and save a little.
SCORPIO: Right now, you're strong enough to create whatever you think you can. Don't let any petty behavior by others rob you of your momentum.
GEMINI: One reason you're a hard worker: you love those little (and not so little) luxuries. You value the quality of your work, but it's also a means to an end. CANCER: In conversations with fellow workers, watch for facial cues that can indicate whether they want to hear more or whether you've already said enough or too much. LEO: Your stability is an important asset. It means you are also dependable and thorough. Being grounded will help you achieve what you want, so don't change now. VIRGO: Sometimes you find it difficult to get going, but not this month. You're invigorated, and a sense of time restriction just pushes you on to finish the race. FACEBOOK.COM/WHATSUPXTRAMAGAZINE
SAGITTARIUS: Have patience with yourself. Knowing you're not as good at something as you want to be brings the opportunity to excel. CAPRICORN: Feeling at loose ends? Use mood repair to your advantage. Skip the negative thoughts and picture yourself feeling great after you knock away a roadblock. AQUARIUS: Motivating others is part of your work even if it isn't in your job description. Don't give up if they just don't seem to get it. They'll catch on before long. PISCES: Anticipation of a long-anticipated victory at work has you feeling fidgety. Try distractions like sports or taking your loved one to dinner. Good things are brewing for your future.
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The Lighter Side Barber Shop The guys at the barber shop asked me what actress I would like to be stuck in an elevator with. I told them the one who knows how to fix elevators. Politician's Sandwich On a political tour, a prominent politician was pleased and proud that the local sandwich shop had named a sandwich after him. He was somewhat less pleased after he found out what was in it.
Are You Smarter Than CHESTER “The Sock Monkey”? Short Stack
1. Standing 5’4” tall, who was the shortest U.S. President? a-Thomas Jefferson, b-Franklin D. Roosevelt, c-Martin Van Buren, d-James Madison. 2. What American writer wrote short stories narrated by an alter ego named Nick Adams? a-Ernest Hemingway, b-Edgar Rice Burroughs, c-William Faulkner, d-J.D. Salinger. 3. What is the medical term for shortsightedness? a-Presbyopia, b-Hyperopia, c-Myopia, d-Ambylopia.
"Mostly baloney," said the owner Four-Letter Surgery Jerry is recovering from day surgery when a nurse asks him how he is feeling. He said he was OK but he didn't like the four-letter-word the doctor used while working on him. "What did he say," asked the nurse.
4. Which planet has the shortest year? a-Mercury, b-Venus, c-Earth, d-Jupiter. 5. Which of these was NOT the title of a Wallace and Gromit animated short? a-"The Wrong Trousers,” b-"Fractured Friendship,” c-"A Close Shave,” d-"A Grand Day Out."
"OOPS!"
6. In what sport might you be penalized with a “short corner”? a-Rugby, b- Field hockey, c-Soccer, d-Cricket.
Marriage Math
7. Which of Shakespeare’s plays is the shortest? a-“Coriolanus,” b-“Two Gentlemen of Verona,” c-“A Comedy of Errors,” d-“Twelfth Night.”
I just read that last year 4,153,237 people got married. I don't want to start any trouble, but shouldn't that be an even number? First Seminar The students were attending their first seminar on emotional extremes. "Just to establish some parameters," said the leader, "Mr. Nichols, what is the opposite of joy?" "Sadness," said the student.
8. "A Short History of Nearly Everything" is a scientific work by what bestselling travel author? a-Donald Hamilton, b-Bill Bryson, c-Paul Theroux, d-Donovan Webster. 9. What band had a hit in the 1950s with “Short Shorts”? a-The Royal Teens, b-The Four Seasons, c-The Knickerbockers, d-The Champs. 10. What was the nickname of Indiana Jones's young companion in "Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom"? a-Short Round, b-Short Stuff, c-Shortcake, d-Short Circuit.
"And the opposite of depression, Ms. Smith?" "Elation." "And you, sir, what is the opposite of woe?" Bubba: "That would be giddy up." Housekeeper? The bride was anything but a tidy housekeeper. It didn't bother her much until one evening when her husband called from the hall, somewhat dismayed: "Honey, what happened to the dust on this table? I had a phone number written on it."
"Texas A & M."
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6-c, Field hockey 7-c, A Comedy of Errors 8-b, Bill Bryson 9-a, The Royal Teens 10-a, Short Round
"What does it say on your shirt?"
Answers
1-d, James Madison 2-a, Ernest Hemingway 3-c, Myopia 4-a, Mercury 5-b, Fractured Friendship
Laundry A housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. He shouted to his wife, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?"
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Coming Soon and Available Coca-Cola In A K-Cup From Your Kitchen Coca-Cola has signed a 10-year agreement to sell its drinks through an at-home beverage system developed by Green Mountain Coffee roaster, maker of Keurig single-serve coffee makers. Coke's drinks will be available in K-cup pods around the world through the KeurigCold system. Coke brands include Sprite, Fanta, Minute Maid and Powerade.
Create Your Own Custom-Fit Sneakers Rather than having to break in a new pair of sneakers, you can get the right ďŹ t immediately using the Foot Balance Quick Fit ($45 at footbalance.com or at retailers). The insoles will feel like custom orthotics but for a fraction of the price. Preheat your oven to 175 degrees, add the insoles and heat for a few minutes. Then slip them into shoes you already own and take a quick lap around the house so they can mold to each foot's' unique shape.
Take A Photo From Your Shirt The Narrative Clip ($279) snaps onto your shirt and could be the answer to the irritating situation of phones in front of people's faces at parties. The wearable camera silently takes photos and stores them until they are uploaded to a phone or computer. It takes a photo every 30 seconds. They are arranged in a contact sheet on your phone and software highlights the most interest shots, or it gives you a sped-up video of your day.
Instant Hotel Check - In No-wait check-in systems It's what travelers have always dreamed of: walking by the checkin desk line and going straight to their rooms. It's possible because the hotel has sent them a message on their smartphones that gives them a virtual key. Guests at Starwood Hotels and Resorts Worldwide can just tap or twist their phones near the room door and it will unlock, using Bluetooth technology. Only a few hotels are set up for it now, but many others have similar plans. Hotel operators have been searching for ways to eliminate the bottlenecks that can form at a hotel's front desk. "Everybody has to check in, but we are all doing it the same way we were 100 years ago," says Christopher Nassetta, CEO of Hilton Worldwide Holdings. It's something the chain is addressing. Marriott International has a process called mobile check-in at 350 of its hotels, with another 150 getting the service this summer. Loyalty program members can check in via their phone, and then go to a separate desk to pick up a key. At The Starwood hotels, executives say some guests prefer the personal touch at check in and the hotels have no plan to remove front desks. FACEBOOK.COM/WHATSUPXTRAMAGAZINE
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TA L E S F R O M T H E C H R I S
That Darn Cat! By Rob Christiansen
Dennis used to have two cats he had kept upon desperate request of their owners, husband & wife, boarders in his humble abode from wherein he had had to evict. One cat had long gray hair and the other cat short orange hair. Gray cat shed, but Dennis always thought he swept or vacuumed up after it. He, alone, cared for the cats for three years until Mr. & Mrs. were back on their feet and happily reclaimed them. Cat-less, Dennis vacationed in Florida and stayed with his parents at their place in Vero Beach. Later on, they all traveled to Naples because his sister and her family were vacationing there. Two days before the trip, Dennis and his parents lunched at Houlihan’s in beautiful downtown Vero Beach. Their server introduced herself as Lodi, the name on her uniform tag. “Before we get started, would anyone like a glass of water?” she asked. “It’s a hot day and you should keep your fluids up.” Everyone accepted water. On a subsequent visit to their table she said “Lodi” was her last name, and that her first name was Jane. She elaborated from there. By now her guests had had water standing before them for several minutes but hadn’t sipped much of it. Jane lived with two female roommates, who also work in the food & beverage industry, in an apartment a few blocks from the ocean. Her bedroom was small and lacked a closet. She had a dresser with photos tucked in the broad mirror. The mirror bore a message Jane had drawn in blue lipstick that stated, “You may be upset if you fail, but you will be doomed if you don’t try.” “Beverly Sills, the opera singer,” she said. Dennis didn’t expect to be in Jane’s apartment or in her room. He was supposed to be running errands with his parents. He had lent them support with his presence in a doctor’s office Monday when they received shingles shots. Dennis didn’t have a car for his own use until he rented one at Avis, after Jane had invited him over. Well, she hadn’t invited him over. Not on her first pass. “Do you want to see ‘Bye Bye Birdie’ tonight?” she had asked him at the restaurant, after he had humorously volunteered to impregnate her…. It’s a long story. Dennis picked her up in a hot new rent-acar and drove to the theater. Now, after the musical, he was in Jane’s room because it was her sanctuary. The rest of the place made her feel less at home and reminded her that she didn’t have her own place. “I wish I may, I wish I might, have a shower rack with just a bar of soap, a bottle of shampoo and an exfoliating sponge,” she partially sang. “And conditioner,” she said. Her room, though, was far from tidy…. She had books strewn on the dresser and floor. Looking for Mr. Right, Who Moved My Cheese?, Brigit Jones’s Diary, Lauren Bacall’s By Myself, College Algebra, To Kill A Mockingbird,
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Complete Idiot’s Guide to Being a Model, The Millionaire Mind, The Purpose-Driven Life. There was a collection of poems by Shakespeare, four inches thick and broken into three lengthwise pieces. She hung her clothes on a high pole running wall to wall. It was all summer stock she had pushed to sides of the dresser, framing it, so that the mirror wasn’t blocked and you could read the message. A pink feather boa was wrapped around the middle of the pole and a long-armed blue monkey dangled from the pole. “I saw a guy in a bar wearing the monkey around his neck,” she said. “He told me he had a monkey on his back. I laughed and told him I wanted the monkey. He said I could have it if I let him buy me a drink.” “He didn’t start low and offer you a glass of water first?” Dennis asked. Jane laughed. “I thought his offer was too low,” she said, “so I lifted my blouse and showed him my obliques. I do sit-ups, Dennis.” “I have to move,” she said over box wine on the dresser. Neither the monkey nor her books nor her feather boa could keep her here. Dennis entertained the idea of being Lodi’s way out while riding her like a Jetski for a half hour. But above her bed—just a box spring and a mattress—a picture titled “Baie des Anges” by the artist Raoul Dufy couldn’t possibly be left behind. Upon Dennis’s invitation, Jane requested time off and traveled to Naples with him and his parents. Dennis drove the Honda Odyssey. Jane quit her job and flew back to Chicago with Dennis. She was a native Floridian. “I’ve had enough good weather to last a lifetime, Dennis,” she said. “I want to wear layers of clothes that weigh more than me. It would be good exercise.” Immediately, the furnace broke down, and Dennis called a company to send someone to inspect it. It was ice cold in Chicago in January, so there was no time to wait lest the girl from Florida froze. The technician discovered gray tufts of cat hair clogging the Carrier furnace, which was only eight years old, but beyond repair now. Dennis bought a new Carrier furnace costing $6,000 with installation. Jane Lodi has medium-length dark hair and doesn’t shed, unlike the gray cat, and blue eyes that glimpse “Baie des Anges” on the living room wall. She throws spaghetti against the kitchen wall. “Is this something you saw at Houlihan’s?” Dennis asked prior to her debut pitch. “It’s done if it sticks,” she said, rearing back to throw. “It’s al dente if it doesn’t.” One day, Jane took a test that wasn’t pasta-based or based on any book she had ever read. Her result was positive.
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Trivia Every Monday
The Beetle 2532 W Chicago Ave, Chicago Buffalo Wild Wings 7020 Carpenter Rd, Chicago Kirkwood Bar & Grill 2934 N Sheffield Ave, Chicago
Every Tuesday
The Reservoir 844 W Montrose Ave, Chicago Schubas Tavern 3159 N Southport Ave, Chicago Sheffield's 3258 N Sheffield Ave, Chicago The Garage Bar & Sandwiches 6154 N Milwaukee Ave, Chicago
Every Wednesday Fizz Bar & Grill 3220 N Lincoln Ave, Chicago
Four Farthings (8:00pm)
2060 N Cleveland Ave, Chicago
Karaoke Every Tuesday Bonsai Bar & Lounge 3503 N Halsted St, Chicago
Every Thursday Carol’s Pub (9:00pm-4:00am) 4659 N Clark, Chicago
Four Farthings (9:30pm) 2060 N Cleveland Ave, Chicago
Every Friday
MCM Pub & Eatery (8:00pm) 3906 N Cicero Ave, Chicago Peek Inn (9:00pm) 2825 W Irving Park Rd, Chicago
Every Saturday
Four Farthings (10:30pm) 2060 N Cleveland Ave, Chicago Four Treys (10:00pm) 3333 N Damen, Chicago MCM Pub & Eatery (8:00pm) 3906 N Cicero Ave, Chicago
Every Thursday Fizz Bar & Grill 3220 N Lincoln Ave, Chicago Rockit Burger Bar 3700 N Clark St, Chicago
Open Mic Every Tuesday Four Treys (10:00pm) 3333N Damen, Chicago
Pressure Billiards & Cafe 6318 N Clark St, Chicago
Every Thursday
Red Line Tap 7006 N Glenwood Ave, Chicago
Every Sunday
Kitchen Sink 1107 W Berwyn Ave, Chicago
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Dueling Pianos Every Thursday, Friday & Saturday Sluggers(9:00pm) 3540 N Clark, Chicago
Call 773-213.4597 to list your Trivia, Karaoke, Open Mic, and Dueling Piano Nights WWW.WHATSUPXTRA.COM
CLUB BELMONT 7844 W. Belmont
Big John’s
LANDMARK PUB
5135 N. Oriole Harwood Heights 708.867.6533
773.589.2808
The Booze is Cheap & The Entertainment is Free!!! Sick and Wrong!!!
BIKES, BABES & BOOZE
La La’s Love Letters By Lauren Strec
Dear LaLa, I’m interested in pursuing a business venture that my wife does not support. Do you have any suggestions on how I should go about getting support from my wife? Donnie Trumpus
Dear Don, Thinking off the top of my head, two reasons as to why your wife may not support you is because she cannot relate to your passion, or because there is some sort of risk involved. With the latter, it will take more than coaxing to get someone on board. Losing money, sacrificing luxuries, or delaying life plans are some things at stake, and you’re going to have to lay out the pros and cons and ask her, as your wife, to stick by your side with it all. But first, paint a picture as to how much this endeavor means to you. Enlighten her by explaining how this job sparks a fire inside of you. She needs to see how happy this makes you, in order for her to want have your back. As long as you’re not trying to open a brothel, the two of you should ride this adventure together.
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Dear LaLa, I was watching a movie Mel Gibsons What Woman Want. And thought to myself it would be great to have that power. Especially, as the wife was screaming from the other room to take out the garbage. Surely, that’s not all she wants is for me to take out the garbage, if that was the case she could order a monkey via the internet. Anyways, could I really zap myself with a blow dryer in the bath tub or could you help me avoid the pain and give me a little insight as to what do women really want? Mel Dear Mel, Women want the same thing that men want! Gay, straight, bi… if someone is looking for a relationship, they want a person who will support them, love them, make them feel at ease, to share experiences, and just have a damn good time. In essence, if you find a woman that truly interests you, just pay attention. You don’t have to by a psych major to discover what she wants and doesn’t want. And if you are stuck in a bind, JUST ASK her.
Lauren is a spokesmodel for tv, radio, live events, blogging and social media. Connect at Facebook. com/LaurenStrec for tidbits, news and fun photos 773.213.4597
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Any bartender is eligible: Go to facebook.com/whatsupxtramagazine. ‘Like’ the page and ’Like’ or Comment on the bartenders photo or comment on a bartender you’d like to support or TEXT ONLY (NO PHONE CALLS FOR VOTES) @ 773.213.4597. The winner who receives the most votes via text & facebook will receive a 4 hour limo bus from LIMOSALIVE.NET for 24 of their friends. Rules on Page 21
V O T
V O T Meghan Tin Lizzie RICHARD 2483 N Clark St WILD HARE
‘LIKE’ us on 20 WHATS UP XTRA
Jess Frank’s 2503 N Clark St
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Claire The Other Side Bar 2436 N Clark St
Sam Lincoln Station TONY 2432 NorthEL Lincoln Avenue JARDIN
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KARA ZEE’S
7958 W BELMONT Rules: All service employees are eligible to win. The service employee who receives the most votes in the month wins. You can submit your vote by texting (773) 213.4597 or go to facebook.com/whatsupxtramagazine “like” our page and vote by hitting “like” on the bartender’s photo .
Only two votes are counted per person and voting polls close on April 20th. *The Pub Crawl will begin at the employee of the months bar and the limo bus will accommodate 24 passengers. Gratuity not included and must be paid prior to service.
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BAR DIRECTORY
Where are you going tonight?:
Lakeview East - Wrigleyville - Southport Bar Celona
3474 N. Clark
773-244-8000
Mullen’s
Bendan’s Pub
3169 N. Broadway
773-929-2929
Murphys Bleachers 3655 N. Sheffield
773-281-5356
Bernie’s
3664 N Clark
773-525-1898
Mystic Celt
3443 N. Southport
773-529-8550
Big City
1010 W. Belmot
773-935-1138
Newport Bar
1344 W Newport
773-325-9111
Blarney Stone
3424 N. Sheffield
773-348-1078
Nick’s Uptown
4015 N Sheridan
773-975-1155
Brew & View
3145 N. Sheffield
773-929-7150
North End
3733 N Halsted
Buck’s Saloon
3439 N. Halsted
773-525-1125
Paddy Long’s
1028 W Diversey
773-348-9711
Clark Street Bar 3040 N. Clark
773-281-6690
Parrots Bar
754 W Wellington
773-281-7878
Coobah
3423 N. Southport
773-528-2220
Piano Bar
3801 N. Clark
773-528-4033
Cubby Bear
1059 W Addison
773-327-1662
Raw Bar & Grill
3720 N Clark St
773-348-7291
Cullen’s Bar
3741 N. Southport
773-975-0600
Rebel Bar
3462 N. Clark
773-348-9084
Dram Shop
3040 N. Broadway
773-549-4401
Redmond’s
3358 N Sheffield
773-404-2151
Fiesta Cantina
3407 N. Clark
773-975-5980
Roadhouse 66
3330 N. Clark
773-525-8166
Friar Tucks
3010 N. Broadway
773-327-5101
Rockit Bar
3700 N.Clark
773-645-4400
Full Shilling
3724 N. Clark
773-248-3330
Rocks
3463 N. Broadway
773-472-0493
Goose Island
3535 N. Clark
773-832-9040
Roscoe’s
3356 N. Halsted
773-281-3355
Higgins Tavern
3259 N. Racine
773-281-7637
Schoolyard
3258 N Southport
773-528-8226
Holiday Club
4000 N. Sheridan
773-348-9600
Schubas Tavern 3159 N Southport
773-525-2508
Irish Oak
3511 N. Clark
Sheffield’s
3258 N Sheffield
773-281-4989
Jack’s Bar
2856 N Southport
773-404-8400
Sidetracks
3349 N. Halsted
773-477-9189
Jacklyn’s Bar
3400 N. Broadway
773-404-5149
Sluggers
3540 N Clark
773-248-0055
Jake’s Pub
2932 N Clark
773-248-3318
Smart Bar
3730 N Clark
773-549-4140
Joe’s On Broadway 3563 N Broadway
773-528-1054
Sopo
3418 N. Southport
773-348-0100
John Barleycorns 3524 N. Clark
773-549-6000
Southport Lanes 3325 N. Southport
773-472-6600
Justin’s
3358 N Southport
773-929-4844
Sports Corner
952 W. Addison
773-929-1441
Kit Kat Lounge
3700 N Halsted
773-525-1111
Take 5 Bar
3747. Southport
773-871-5555
L&L Tavern
3207 N. Clark
773-528-1303
Toon’s
3857 N. Southport
773-935-1919
Little Jim’s
3501 N. Halsted
773-871-6116
Town Hall Pub
3340 N Halsted
773-472-4405
Lucky’s 3
472 N. Clark
773-549-0665
Trace
3714 N. Clark
773-477-3400
Mad River
2909 N. Sheffield
773-935-7500
Trader Todd’s
3216 N Sheffield
773-348-3250
Matilda
3101 N Sheffield
773-883-4400
Vaughans Pub
2917 N. Sheffield
773-281-8188
Matisse
674 W. Diversey
773-528-6670
Vines
3554 N. Clark
773-327-8572
Merkles
3516 N Clark
773-244-1025
Wrigleyville North 3900 N Sheridan
773-929-9543
Metro Smart Bar 3730 N Clark
773-549-4140
Yak-Zies Bar
773-525-9200
Monsignor Murphys
773-348-7285
3019 N. Broadway
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3527 N Clark
3710 N Clark
773-325-2319
7
73-477-7999
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For info, call 773-213-4597
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BAR DIRECTORY Lincoln Park & Old Town
Where are you going tonight?: O' Brien's
1528 N. Wells
312-787-3131
Augie's
1721 W. Wrightwood
773-296-0018
Old Town Ale
219 W. North
773-944-7020
Bird's Nest
2500 N. Southport
773-472-1502
Old Town Pub
1339 N. Wells
773-266-6789
Blue's
2519 N. Halsted
773-525-8317
O'Malley's West 2249 N. Lincoln
773-935-2719
Burton's Place
1447 N. Wells
773-664-4699
Burwood Tap
7242 W. Wrightwood
773-525-2593
Ravens
2326 N. Clark
773-348-1774
Corcoran's
1615 N. Wells
773-440-0885
River Shannon
425 W. Armitage
773-944-5087
Delilah's
2771 N. Lincoln
773-472-2771
Rocks
1301 W. Schubert
773-472-7728
Duffy's
422 W. Diversey
773-549-9090
Saluki Bar
1208 N. Wells
773-274-1824
Durkin's
810 W. Diversey
773-525-2515
Elbo Room
2817 N. Lincoln
773-549-5549
The Apartment
2251 N. Lincoln
773-348-5100
Field House Pub 2455 N. Clark
773-348-6489
The Local Option 1102 W. Webster
773-348-2008
Four Farthings
2060 N. Cleveland
773-935-2060
The Other Side
2436 N. Clark
773-525-8238
Frank's
2503 N. Clark
773-549-2700
Tin Lizzie
2483 N. Clark
773-549-1132
Galway Arms
2442 N. Clark
773-472-5555
Tonic Room
2447 N. Halsted
773-248-8400
Gamekeepers
345 W. Armitage
773-549-0400
Weeds
1555 N. Dayton
312-943-7815
Glascott's
2158 N. Halsted
773-281-1205
Wellingtons
1300 W. Wellington
773-528-0654
Goose Island
1800 N. Clybourn
773-915-0071
Wise Fools Pub 2270 N. Lincoln
773-929-1300
Halligan's Pub
2274 N. Lincoln
773-472-7940
Witts
773-528-7032
Hidden Shamrock 2732 N. Lincoln
773-883-0304
Wrightwood Tap 1059 W. Wrightwood
Irish Eyes
773-348-9548
2519 N. Lincoln
Joe's Sports Bar 940 W. Weed
773-337-3486
John Barleycorn 2300 N. Lincoln
773-348-8899
John's Place
1200 W. Webster
773-525-6670
Kelly's Pub
949 W. Webster
773-281-0656
Kingston Mines
2548 N. Halsted
773-477-4646
Lincoln Station
2432 N. Lincoln
773-472-8100
Lincoln Tap
3010 N. Lincoln
773-868-0060
Lion Head Pub
2251 N. Lincoln
773-348-5100
Max Bar
2247 N. Lincoln
773-549-5884
McGee's
950 W. Webster
773-549-8200
McGinny's Tap
313 W. North
773-943-5228
Mickey's
2450 N. Clark
773-435-0007
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2913 N. Lincoln
773-459-4949
Husband and Wife Have Serious Needs A husband and wife came for counseling after 20 years of marriage. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 20 years they had been married. She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured over the course of their marriage. Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and, after asking the wife to stand, embraced and kissed her passionately as her husband watched with a raised eyebrow. The woman shut up and quietly sat down as though in a daze. The therapist turned to the husband and said, “This is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do this?” The husband thought for a moment and replied, “Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I fish.” WWW.WHATSUPXTRA.COM
BAR DIRECTORY
Where are you going tonight?: Northwest
Paddy Macks
4157 N. Pulaski
773-279-9300
Babe’s
4416 N. Milwaukee
773-545-3137
Rabbits
4945 W Foster
773-736-5766
Bill’s Pub
4104 N. Pulaski
773-202-0020
Roman’s
6448 N. Milwaukee
773-467-9827
Brigadoon
5748 W Lawrence
773.777.2403
Sidekicks
4424 W Montrose
773-545-6212
Cabaret Lounge 6101 W. Montrose
773-736-2337
Six Penny Bit
5800 W. Montrose
773-545-2033
Casual Tap
5924 W Montrose
773-283-9490
Thatch Pub
5707 N. Milwaukee
773-763-8179
Charlotte’s Bar
6000 W Gunnison
773-775-3616
Three Counties
5856 N. Milwaukee
773-631-3351
Club Belmont
7844 W. Belmont
773-598-2808
Tommy’s
6954 W Higgins
773-631-4451
Di’s Den
5100 W Irving Park
773-736-7170
Trinity Pub
5943 N. Northwest
773-763-0095
Dugan’s
6051 N. Milwaukee
773-467-5555
Vaughan’s Pub
5485 Northwest
773-631-9206
Edison Park Inn 6713 N. Olmsted
773-775-1404
Windsor Tavern
4530 N. Milwaukee
773-736-3400
Emerald Isle Pub 2537 W Peterson
773-561-6674
Zachary’s
5368 N Milwaukee
773-792-0933
Fantasy Lounge 4400 N Elston
773-685-8083
Filonek’s
6213 N. Milwaukee
773-775-5010
Galvin’s Public
5901 W Lawrence
773-205-0570
Gladstone’s
5734 N. Milwaukee
773-763-3385
Ham Tree Inn
5333 N. Milwaukee
773-792-2072
All Mixed Up
The Mint Julep The Mint Julep has been promoted cocktail at the Kentucky Derby since 1938. Each year almost 120,000 juleps are served at Churchill Downs over the two-day period of the Kentucky Oaks and the Kentucky Derby, virtually all of them in specially made Kentucky Derby collectible glasses.
Harry’s On Elston 5943 N. Elston
773-774-4166
Harwood Bar
6438 W. Montrose
708-867-7781
Hops N Barley
4359 N Milwaukee
773-286-7415
Jet’s Public Hou 6148 N. Milwaukee
773-775-7587
Jimmy Macks
5581 N. Northwest
773-631-1466
Joe E’s Lounge
4206 W Irving Park
773-283-3422
Landmark Pub
5135 N. Oriole
773-867-6533
Lasko’s
5525 N Milwaukee
773-774-9800
Lizard Lounge
3058 W. Irving Park
773-463-7599
Margaret’s
5134 W. Irving Park
773-685-4493
Mary’s Place
6300 N. Milwaukee
773-775-7587
The Early Times Mint Julep Cocktail has been the designated "official mint julep of the Kentucky Derby," although the Early Times sold within the United States is a Kentucky whiskey, not a bourbon. Choose your favorite bourbon at a bar near you and enjoy the Derby Saturday May 3rd.
MCM Pub
3906 N. Cicero
773-736-2644
Ingredients
McNamaras
4328 W Irving Park
773-725-1800
Mo Dailey’s
6070 N. Northwest Hwy
773-774-6121
Moretti’s
6727 N. Olmsted
773-631-1223
Mrs. O’Leary’s
4368 N. Milwaukee
773-427-7300
Mug Shots
7718 W. Addison
773-625-8466
Murrays
5522 N Elston
773-774-3466
Night Caps
5007 W Irving Park
773-282-8654
Nil’s Tap
5734 N. Elston
773-594-1288
FACEBOOK.COM/WHATSUPXTRAMAGAZINE
Crushed ice is best shaved ice works as well. 3 oz. of Bourbon whiskey 4 to 6 sprigs mint leaves Sugar, to taste
Preparation
Put mint, sugar, and a small amount of bourbon into the bottom of a mixing glass. Gently muddle the mint and sugar, then let stand for a bit to allow the muddled leaves to release their flavor. Strain and pour into a julep cup (or similar glass), rotating to coat the sides. Fill with ice, and then add the rest of the bourbon whiskey. Garnish with a lightly slapped small mint sprig.
773.213.4597
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BAR DIRECTORY
Where are you going tonight?:
Lakeview West/ Roscoe Village / North-Center / Lincoln Square / Albany Park / Ravenswood Andersonvile 240 Lounge
3948 W. Lawrence
773-267-0474
Huetten Bar
4721 N. Lincoln
773-561-2507
42 Latitude
3341 N Western
773-910-1473
Jury's
4337 N. Lincoln
773-935-2255
Abbey Pub
3420 W. Grace
773-478-4408
Katerina's
1902 W. Irving
773-348-7592
Atlantic Bar
5062 N. Lincoln
773-506-7090
Keenan O' Reilly's 3916 N. Ashland
773-857-3800
Bad Dog
4535 N. Lincoln
773-334-4040
Leadway Bar
5233 N. Damen
773-728-2663
Big Joe’s
1818 W Foster
773-784-8755
Long Room
1612 W. Irving
773-665-4500
Black Rock
3614 N. Damen
773-348-4044
Margie's Pub
4145 N. Lincoln
773-477-1644
Brendan’s Too
3135 W. Montrose
773-463-2771
Mulligan's
2000 W. Roscoe
773-549-4225
Brownstone
3937 N. Lincoln
773-528-3700
Mutiny
2428 N. Western
773-486-7774
Carol’s Pub
4659 N Clark
773-334-2402
Oakwood 83
1969 W. Montrose
773-327-2785
Celtic Crown
4301 N. Western
773-588-1110
O'Donovan's
2100 W. Irving
773-478-2100
Chicago Joe's
2256 W. Irving
773-478-7000
O'Lanagan
2335 W. Montrose
773-583-2252
Chief O'Neills
3471 N. Elston
773-583-3066
Peek Inn
2825 W. Irving Park
773-267-5197
Christina's Place 3759 N. Kedzie
773-463-1768
Rail Bar
4709 N Damen
773-878-9400
Claddagh Ring
773-271-4794
Richochet's
4644 N. Lincoln
773-271-3127
Cody's Public House 1658 W. Barry
773-528-4050
Riverview
1958 W. Roscoe
773-871-1200
Daily's Bar
4560 N. Lincoln
773-561-6198
Roscoe Villiage Pub 2159 W. Addison
773-472-6160
Farraguts
5240 N Clark
773-728-4903
Save More Lounge 4060 N. Lincoln
773-281-1444
Finley Dunnes
3458 N. Lincoln
773-477-7311
Side Street
1456 W. George
773-327-1127
Fizz
3220 N. Lincoln
773-348-6000
Silvie's
1902 W. Irving
773-871-6239
Foley's
1841 W. Irving
773-929-1210
Small Bar
2956 N. Albany
773-509-9888
Four Moon
1847 W. Roscoe
773-929-6666
Stadium West
3188 N. Elston
773-866-2450
Four Shadows
2758 N. Ashland
773-248-9160
Ten Cat Tavern
3931 N. Ashland
773-935-5377
Four Trey's Pub 3333 N. Damen
773-549-8845
The Temple
3001 N. Ashland
773-248-0990
Fuller's Pub
3203 W. Irving
773-478-8060
Uptown Lounge 1136 W. Lawrence
773-878-1136
Gio’s
4857 N. Damen
773-334-0345
Villiage Tap
2055 W. Roscoe
773-883-0817
Hidden Cove
5336 N. Lincoln
773-275-3955
Waterhouse
3407 N. Paulina
773-871-1200
Hidden Cove
5338 N. Lincoln
773-275-6711
Wild Goose
4265 N. Lincoln
773-281-7112
Horseshoe
4115 N. Lincoln
773-248-1366
Windy City Inn
2257 W. Irving
773-588-7088
2306 W. Foster
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TRUE FACTS – Believe It or Not 1. If you put your finger in your ear and scratch, it sounds just like Pac-Man.
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3. Maine is the closest U.S. state to Africa.
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4. Russia has a larger surface area than Pluto. 5. Saudi Arabia imports camels from Australia. 6. Hippo milk is pink. 7. The toy Barbie’s full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts. 8. Woody from Toy Story has a full name too — it’s Woody Pride. 9. And while we’re at it, Mr. Clean’s full name is Veritably Clean. 10. Oh, and Cookie Monster’s real name is Sid. 11. Carrots were originally purple. 12. The heart of a blue whale is so big; a human can swim through the arteries. 13. France was still executing people with a guillotine when the first Star Wars film came out. 14. The last time the Chicago Cubs won the baseball World Series, the Ottoman Empire still existed. 15. And lollipops had not yet been invented. 16. And women did not have the right to vote in the United States. 17. Turtles can breathe out of their butts. 18. One more fact about the Cubs: The last time they won the World Series, Alaska, Arizona, Hawaii, and New Mexico were not yet states. 19. But the good news is: Honey never spoils. You can eat 32,000-year-old honey. 20. There are more stars in space than there are grains of sand on every beach on Earth. 21. And there’s enough water in Lake Superior to cover all of North and South America in one foot of water.
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*Cubs Game Day excluded
BRING IN THIS AD FOR DUELING PIANOS ON FRIDAYS* FOR FREE ADMISSION
#1 LIVE SHOW IN WRIGLEYVILLE
Kelly’s Pub
81
949 W. WEBSTER
773- 281- 0656
Years of Serving Beers VISIT US AT KELLYSPUB.COM FOR UPCOMING EVENTS
Sunday: Monday: Tuesday: Wednesday:
$15 Miller Lite Buckets & $3 Lagunitas Draft $1 Coors Drafts - $1 Tacos** $2 Bud & Bud Light Bottles - $1 Burgers
Thursday:
$8 Coors Light Pitchers + $5 3 Olive Vodka Bombs & $5 All Sandwiches $4 Goose Island Green Line Drafts $12 Coors Buckets
Friday: Saturday:
$2 Off All Drafts
**Specials Subject to Change 32 WHATS UP XTRA W tra X
.25 Cent Wings
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