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We would like to thank all the readers of What’s Up Xtra Magazine for your continued support. The magazine was started over 8 years ago as a small local publication in Chicago and has grown throughout the area, surrounding suburbs , and now into Southern Wisconsin to be one of the most recognized comprehensive local bar directories of its kind. Our “grass root marketing” strategy has proven an effective tool for our publication and is designed to be used as a tool for our readers to plan where they will be spending their afternoons, evenings, and hard earned dollars. Magazines have maintained popularity with readers through the years and have proven that magazine advertising and readership will stand the test of time. We encourage our readers to support your communities and to patronize your local businesses! Have a happy and safe Holiday Season!
TABLE OF CONTENTS WANTED: PHOTOGRAPHERS CALL 773-288-9400
OUR ST A FF keith romack publisher
6 out and about photos 8 news AND STUFF
Lisa romack Sales Director
12 ask the wino 13 HOROSCOPE 14 are you smarter than chester
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16 all mixed up 18 trivia open mic karaoke
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20 BARTENDER OF THE MONTH 21 sudoku crossowrd wordfind 23 THINGS TO DO IN DecemBER
Check us out online - Read the magazine, Photos & More... www.whatsupxtra.com Front page photo taken
at Clark Street Beach by Lisa The name What’s Up Xtra Magazine is a registered trade name, and use of this name is strictly prohibited. The contents of this publication are copyrighted What’s Up Xtra Chicago Magazine -2012 We encourage our readers to write their stories, send photos, and make comments. All submissions sent to us by phone, email, fax, or handwritten become the property of What’s Up Xtra Chicago Magazine.
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25-28 bar directory 29 tales from the chris
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The Save
Barrack Obama was out jogging one morning along the parkway when he tripped, fell over the bridge railing and landed in the creek below. Before the Secret Service guys could get to him, 3 kids who were fishing pulled him out of the water. He was so grateful he offered the kids whatever they wanted.
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The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be. Ralph Waldo Emerson: American essayist, lecturer, and poet
The first kid said, “I want to go to Disney World.” President Obama replied, “No problem, I'll take you there on Air Force One.” The second kid said, “I want a new pair of Nike Air Jordan shoes.” Barrack said, 'I'll get them for you and even have Michael Jordan sign them.” The third kid said, “I want a motorized wheelchair with a built in TV and stereo headset.” President Obama was a little perplexed by this and said, "But you don't look like you're handicapped." The kid replied, “I will be after my dad finds out I saved you from drowning." FACEBOOK.COM/WHATSUPXTRAMAGAZINE
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News & Stuff
Super Bowl Prices Will Be “Big Apple” Big This year you can buy one ticket on the cushy club level seats at MetLife Stadium for the Super Bowl or you and your significant could fly to Paris and spend the weekend in a nice hotel. About the same price.
Want A Really Big TV? Check Out The Sony 4K! I
So when you are trying to justify why it makes sense to shell out the big bucks it’s easy. It's the Superbowl and it's in New York City, right? That is exactly why the National Football League officials say that tickets to this particular game are worth big “Big Apple” prices. Comparing the two, club level seats in NYC with access to restaurants, $2,600 while club level seats in New Orleans last year, only $1,250. Why the price hike? Because there are more people with more money around New York City and the NFL can sell the tickets. That's the bottom line. Since about 50 million people live within 200 miles of MetLife Stadium (compared with 6 million in New Orleans) many people won't mind paying more because they're likely to save money on flights and hotels.
t has been more than four years since the end of analog TV. With your first HDTV, you probably reveled in the high definition at 720 pixels and a little later, at the 1070 pixels.
Participating teams distribute 35 percent of the seats. The league itself controls 25 percent of the seats, which it often shares with corporate sponsors and partners. So a large proportion of those attending have their seats paid for by someone else.
Sony's 4K will change their degree of satisfaction, but it probably won't happen for a while. The electronics industry is championing what it claims as the next be-all television. The 4K is so named because it boasts several times the picture resolution.
In all, the executives say the average price of 39 percent of the 77,500 seats will cost $1,000 or less. The lowest price seats will cost $500, compared with $600 previously.
It's a thin, elegant 65-inch backlit LED set, with a magnificent picture that has more than 8 million pixels, a vibrant color palate and two powerful 65 watt front facing speakers.
Research shows that many $600 tickets last year resold for $2,000 on the secondary market. Seats near midfield went for up to $6,100 and club seats changed hands for $6,400, all of which are multiples of their face values.
Getting customers to trade up isn't going to be easy. Right now, the set lists for $5,499.99. Over time, however, the price will be much lower.
For the New York Super Bowl, indoor suites with 30 seats each are already selling for $500,000 and up depending on the location.
Coming Soon For All Computers
Today, not only are prices way lower than they were then, but most HDTV viewers are perfectly satisfied with the picture quality.
Sony also offers an 84-inch model, the XBR 4K for $24,999. A 55-inch model will cost $3,499. The Consumer Electronics Association forecasts factory shipments of Ultra TVs will grow to 23,000 units in 2013. So, someone is buying them, even if it's not you…yet.
Your computers will soon do research for you, even when you don't ask. New voice recognition software will enable computers to listen to the conversations of humans and figure out the subject of conversation. Then the computers will find suitable internet references and files. Experts say this will vastly improve efficiency. It may even spawn a whole new world of Facebook memes based on common phrases like, "I hate the boss."
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Little Johnny
Little Johnny's teacher had a new game for the children. She would pick a word and have the children make a sentence out of it. She knew that she had to be careful because Little Johnny would try and turn this into something dirty, as he had done so many times before. She chose the word "fascinate". Knowing that Johnny could not possibly mess this one up, she called on him first. Johnny said, "My sister went to the mall and bought a blouse. It had 10 buttons up the front, but her boobs were so big she could only fasten eight." After all the kids had answered one, it was Johnny's turn again. This time the word was "urinate". The teacher was sure this one would stump Johnny. Johnny said, "You'rean-eight, but if you had bigger boobs you'd be a ten."
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How Ironic Two men waiting at the pearly gates strike up a conversation. "How'd you die?" the first man asks the second.
Babe’s Bar
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Faith is daring to put your dream to the test. It is better to try to do something and fail than to try to do nothing and succeed. Robert H. Schuller, American Pastor, and Author
"I froze to death," says the second. "That's awful. How does it feel to freeze to death?" says the first.
says the second.
"It's very uncomfortable at first, you get the shakes, and you get pains in all your fingers and toes. But eventually, it's a very calm way to go. You get numb and you kind of drift off, as if you're sleeping. How did you die?"
"I had a heart attack", says the first guy. "You see, I knew my wife was cheating on me, so one day I showed up at home unexpectedly. I ran up to the bedroom, and found her alone, knitting. I ran down to the basement, but no one was hiding there. I ran up to the second floor, but no one was hiding there either. I ran as fast as I could to the attic, and just as I got there, I had a massive heart attack and died." The second man shakes his head. "That's so ironic" he says. "What do you mean?" asks the first man. "If you had only stopped to look in the freezer, we'd both still be alive." FACEBOOK.COM/WHATSUPXTRAMAGAZINE
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The Barber
A guy sticks his head into a barber shop and asks "Hey, Buddy! How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looked around the shop and says "about 2 hours," and the guy leaves. A few days later the same guy sticks his head in the door and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?"
Again, the barber looks around at shop full of customers and says "about 2 hours." The guy leaves. A week later the same guy sticks his head in the shop and asks, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looks around the shop and says "about an hour and a half". The guy leaves. The barber looks over at a friend in the shop and says "Hey, Joey, I'll give you a free cut if you follow that guy and see where he goes." In a little while, Joey comes back into the shop laughing hysterically. The barber says, "This must be good, where did he go when he left here?" Joey says, "To your house!"
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ASK THE WINO...
How to be more eco-friendly. WINO: Willie Kalb AGE: 56 LIKES: new pennies, soup and hide n’ seek. DISLIKES: toothaches, fruit flies and “the tickle monster”. SMELLS LIKE: an old flask filled with cat farts. Sal, a chef asks: If buses make so much smoke, why does everyone insist that using them as transportation is good for the air?
WINO: “I ain’t never ridin’ a bus again! You take a five-course dump in some old lady’s handbag and all the sudden, people look at you like you done killed somebody!”
Elise, a sales rep asks: Other than recycling, can you think of any practical ways I can reuse things that most people just throw out? WINO: “Ya’ll ever eat soup out of a busted light bulb? What can I say, I’m one who believes in using what most people throw out. Except for someone old drawers those I leave on the side of the road.
Jeff, a software designer asks: With so much of our resources tied up in the war on terror, how are we supposed to preserve the natural beauty of America?
WINO: “Tied up? I’ll tell you what’s tied up: my goddamn ass hairs, that’s what! Lord have mercy! It feels like I’m takin’ a crap through a tennis racquet!”
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LIVE COUNTRY& WESTERN MUSIC
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OPEN TIL 4AM
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MON $1 Draft, $2 Domestic Bottles, $5 Pitchers
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TUE $2.75 Domestic Bottles WED $10 PITCHERS of Beer - LIVE BAND + Jam w/ Country Claude 9p-4a THU World Class KARAOKE 9p-4a FRI LIVE BAND - DIAMONDBACK 9p-4a SAT LIVE BAND - DIAMONDBACK 9p-5a SUN $10 PITCHERS of BEER + LIVE BAND
Mon, Tue 9a - 2a / Wed, Thur, Fri, Sun 11a - 4a / Sat 11a - 5a
Carol’s Kitchen serves Hot Sandwiches Late!
DECEMBER HOROSCOPE ARIES: Your capable and sociable manner draws people to you. That's good, and it encourages cooperation at work. But don't let others' high opinion of you go to your head. TAURUS: Your financial dealings are taking on greater importance now, so make sure that you're giving them their due. Your mindset is perfect for thinking about the future. GEMINI: The full moon on December 17 could make you feel like doing something crazy, or at least pretty unusual for you. Think twice before plunging into it. CANCER: Celebrate Christmas in your own way. Make it a joyful time by avoiding a lot of extra work and preparations. Just show love and caring to everyone you meet. LEO: Check your to-do list for tasks and projects you can wind up before taking the holiday break. Decide what can be put on hold so you can celebrate without worry. VIRGO: A feeling of confidence is sweeping over you, and for good reason. You're finishing a year of good work and looking forward to a productive new year. FACEBOOK.COM/WHATSUPXTRAMAGAZINE
LIBRA: You're beginning to feel that you're in your element at work and that you'll soon be able to make a difference there. But don't try to control every situation. SCORPIO: A loved one has an issue on which you'd like to give advice. But sometimes the most supportive action is letting the person figure out what to do on his own. SAGITTARIUS: At holiday dinners or parties, there's bound to be someone who rubs you the wrong way. Walk away and have fun with your friends or family members. CAPRICORN: When your boss seems testy or distant, remember that there are problems and situations that you don't know about. So just keep doing your job well. AQUARIUS: The talents of others can make you look like a better leader, manager or cultivator of high performance people. Everybody wins. PISCES: People like your politeness and efficiency. They seek you out because their friends talk about how dependable, honest, and discreet you are.
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The Lighter Side
Where's Harry? A group of friends who went deer hunting separated into pairs for the day. That night, one hunter returned alone, staggering under a huge buck.
Are You Smarter Than CHESTER “The Sock Monkey”?
"Where's Harry?" asked another hunter.
1. Until the mid-20th century what was used for tinsel on Christmas trees? a.) Strips of tin b.) Strips of gold c.) Strips of silver d.) Strips of aluminum
"He fainted a couple miles up the trail," his partner answered.
2. In which country did the tradition of the Christmas tree start? a.) China b.) Scotland c.) Denmark d.) Germany
Bill Gates Picks The Afterlife Bill Gates dies and meets St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter says, "I really can't figure out what to do with you, Gates. "On the one hand, unlike people, I am an eternal being and I remember Windows 3.0. "On the other hand, thanks to you, people have computers. "So, I have decided to let you choose heaven or hell all by yourself." So Gates first checks out heaven: Lots of harps and clouds and quiet. Then Gates checks out hell: People traveling on flying smartphones. Computers are fixing lavish dinners. Tablet computers are holding seminars. Fantastic! Gates chooses hell. St. Peter stamps his ticket and Satan opens the door to hell where there is nothing but weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth. Gates says to Satan, "What happened? It was perfect yesterday!" Satan shrugs and says: That was the demo.
4. During the 19th and early 20th centuries, the larger your Christmas tree the more status you had among your peers. True or False 5. What is the name of the company that made the first artificial Christmas tree? a.) Johnson & Johnson b.) Levi Strauss c.) Schelgerhoffen d.) Addis Brush Company 6. In 16th century Poland it was popular to hang your Christmas tree upside down from the ceiling. True or False 7. What was used to light up a Christmas tree before the advent of electric Christmas lights? a.) Glitter b.) Jewels c.) Candles d.) Gas lights 8. What was the name of America's 14th president, who brought the tradition of the Christmas tree to the White House? a.) James Buchanan b.) Martin Van Buren c.) Franklin Pierce d.) Abraham Lincoln 9. The giant Christmas tree seen at Rockefeller Center every year since 1931 is usually what kind of tree? a.) Douglas fir b.) Balsam fir c.) Scotch pine d.) Norway spruce 10. The Christmas carol "O Tannenbaum", in English "O Christmas Tree", was written by what German composer? a.) Wolfgang Mozart b.) Nicolo Paganini c.) Frederic Chopin d.) Ernst Anschustz
Answers True Candles Franklin Pierce Norway Spruce Ernst Anschustz
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Silver Germany Queen Victoria True Addis Brush Compnay
"It was a tough decision," said the hunter. "But I figured no one was going to steal Harry!"
3. What monarch was directly responsible for the English-speaking world adopting the Christmas tree as a traditional part of the Christmas celebration? a.) King Edward II b.) Queen Elizabeth I c.) Queen Victoria d.) King George III
1. 2. 3. 4. 5.
"You mean you left him lying there alone and you carried the deer back?"
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*Cubs Game Day excluded
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ALL MIXED UP
By Lisa Romack
A great way to officially kick off the holiday season is to mix up a festive drink! How luscious is this Christmas cocktail? I had a hard time this month narrowing it down to just 3, so in the spirit of the season I felt like giving (and drinking), so I threw in a few
extra recipes this month. From our family to yours, wishing you, your families and friends a very safe and happy 2013 Holiday Season and best wishes for the New Year!
Gingered Pear and Brandy Cocktail
Apple Jack Rabbit
Rich Dark Chocolate Martini
For the holiday season, mix up a traditional cocktail that was introduced back in 1965…The Apple Jack Rabbit. This drink gets its sweetness from maple syrup!
Having a group over for the holidays? This is a great cocktail you can whip up ahead of the game that is a timely concoction for any party! Refrigerate it until you’re ready to shake and serve.
Ingredients: ½ oz Captain Morgan 1 oz Apple Brandy ¾ oz Fresh Lemon Juice 2 oz Fresh Orange Juice ½ oz Maple Syrup Mint Sprig and Apple Slices for garnish
Ingredients: ¼ Cup Water 3 Tablespoon Sugar ¼ Cup Chopped Peeled Fresh Ginger 3 Cups Pear Juice 1 Cup Cognac Lemon Rind Twists for garnish
1. Fill up a cocktail shaker with ice and combine all of the ingredients. Shake and pour into a Mason jar and garnish.
Combine ¼ cup water and sugar in a small saucepan over medium heat; cook until sugar dissolves. Remove from heat. Add ginger. Cover and let stand 15 minutes. Strain sugar mixture through a fine sieve. Discard solids. Chill sugar mixture 30 minutes or until ready to use. 2. Fill a cocktail shaker half full with ice. Add sugar mixture, juice, and cognac; shake until chilled. Strain ½ cup mixture into a martini glass. Garnish each serving with 1 lemon twist.
Mistletoe Mojito It features the flavors of a classic mojito, rum and mint, but with a delicious holiday twist! Ingredients: 1oz Fresh Lime Juice 1 Tablespoon Sugar 8 Fresh Mint Leaves
2 oz White Rum 2 Teaspoons Pomegranate Seeds 4oz Pomegranate 7UP 1 Lime Wedge & 1 Mint Sprig for garnish
1. In a highball glass, muddle lime juice, sugar and mint leaves until sugar is dissolved. 2. Add rum and pomegranate seeds. 3. Fill glass with ice and top with Pomegranate 7UP. Garnish with mint sprig and lime wedge.
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This festive cocktail is knee-weakening decadence in a glass. The indulgent combination of Van Gogh’s Rich Dark Chocolate Vodka, espresso, and a lip-smacking hint of salt will quickly become your favorite holiday vegan drink. Ingredients: 1 Tablespoon Raw Sugar 1 Tablespoon Sea Salt 2 Tablespoons Finely Chopped Dark Chocolate 2 Ounces Van Gogh Rich Dark Chocolate Vodka 2 Ounces Chilled Espresso 1 Teaspoon Orange Juice Orange Rind Twists for garnish 1. In a small plate, mix sugar, salt, and dark chocolate. 2. Wet the rim of a martini glass and dip in the sugar mixture. 3. In a cocktail shaker with ice, combine vodka, espresso, and orange juice. Shake vigorously. 4. Strain into prepared martini glass. Garnish with orange zest.
The Midnight Kiss You may not be able to count on a midnight kiss tonight, but you can bet there will be plenty of sparkling wine at any New Year’s Eve soiree. With only two ingredients in this pink, 169-calorie drink, you won’t be stuck mixing and muddling, should a cutie happen to walk into the party! Ingredients: 4 oz Sparkling Wine or Champagne 1 oz X-Rated Fusion Liqueur Directions: Pour sparkling wine or Champagne in a champagne flute and top with liqueur.
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Trivia Every Monday
The Beetle 2532 W Chicago Ave, Chicago Buffalo Wild Wings 7020 Carpenter Rd, Chicago Kirkwood Bar & Grill 2934 N Sheffield Ave, Chicago
Every Tuesday
The Reservoir 844 W Montrose Ave, Chicago Schubas Tavern 3159 N Southport Ave, Chicago Sheffield's 3258 N Sheffield Ave, Chicago The Garage Bar & Sandwiches 6154 N Milwaukee Ave, Chicago
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Every Saturday
Four Farthings (10:30pm) 2060 N Cleveland Ave, Chicago Four Treys (10:00pm) 3333 N Damen, Chicago MCM Pub & Eatery (8:00pm) 3906 N Cicero Ave, Chicago
Every Thursday Fizz Bar & Grill 3220 N Lincoln Ave, Chicago Rockit Burger Bar 3700 N Clark St, Chicago
Open Mic Every Tuesday Four Treys (10:00pm) 3333N Damen, Chicago
Pressure Billiards & Cafe 6318 N Clark St, Chicago
Every Thursday
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Kitchen Sink 1107 W Berwyn Ave, Chicago
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Dueling Pianos Every Thursday, Friday & Saturday Sluggers(9:00pm) 3540 N Clark, Chicago
Call 773-288-9400 to list your Trivia, Karaoke, Open Mic, and Dueling Piano Nights WWW.WHATSUPXTRA.COM
CLUB BELMONT
Big John’s
LANDMARK PUB
5135 N. Oriole Harwood Heights 708.867.6533
7844 W. Belmont 773.589.2808
The Booze is Cheap & The Entertainment is Free!!!
BIKES, BABES & BOOZE
Sick and Wrong!!!
In 2014, Mandatory Tipping Will Be Gone
Can you help my friend?
For many years, restaurants have tacked a mandatory gratuity onto the bill of any large party, generally ranging from 15 to 18 percent. Some restaurants even add gratuity to every bill. But a recent IRS ruling will probably bring the long time practice to an end. The ruling that takes effect in 2014 classifies automatic gratuities as wages rather than tips, therefore requiring restaurants to pay payroll taxes on any mandatory gratuity. The ruling pretty much guarantees that most restaurants will bring this practice to an end. This ruling makes it more risky for servers gambling with whether a table of 10 likes the service provided and is willing to tip responsibly, according to Kiplinger's Personal Finance. As a result of these changes, diners are more likely to see suggested tips on menus and bills ranging from 15 to 20 percent. Cruise ship tipping is still in question, but it might apply only to ships registered in the United States. Cruise ships apply a daily gratuity to all travelers' accounts. FACEBOOK.COM/WHATSUPXTRAMAGAZINE
I’m reaching out on behalf of a friend of mine who needs some help, who wishes to remain anonymous. His wife told him to go out and get some of those pills that would help him with his manhood. When he came back, he handed her diet pills. Anyway, he’s looking for a place to live. 773.213.4597
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W
r u o X ho’s y te i w r o fav nder? te r a b tra
VOTE FOR YOUR FAVORITE DECEMBER BARTENDER Go to
facebook.com/whatsupxtramagazine ‘Like’ the page and ‘Like’ or comment on the bartenders photo or text 773.288.9400 The winner will receive a 4 hour limo bus from LIMOSALIVE.NET for 24 of their friends.
Bartender: Trojan Clark Street Beach 3419 N Clark St, Chicago Signature Drink: Panty Dropper (Rompe Calzon)
NOVEMBER BARTENDER OF THE MONTH IS...
Ingredients: Casadores, Chambord, Lime, Sour, Champagne Words of Wisdom: “Women are like potato chips, you can’t have just one!”
Bartender: Mike Teasers Public House 7123 W Higgins, Chicago Signature Drink: Bloody Mother Ingredients: Stoli, Jagermeister, Salt, Pepper, Worcestershire, Tobasco, Celery Salt, Guinness, “1 Secret” Words of Wisdom: “Jameson cures all.”
Bartender: Briana Mo Dailey’s 6070 N Northwest Hwy, Chicago Signature Drink: Z Bomb Ingredients: Raspberry Vodka, Peach Schnapps, Cranberry Juice, Red Bull Words of Wisdom: “The Toy Says “Kee Ke Kee, Ke Ke Kee.”
CONGRATULATIONS
Kasia
Snickers Bar 448 N. State
Rules: All service employees are eligible to win. The service employee who receives the most votes in the month wins. You can submit your vote by texting (773) 288-9400 or go to facebook.com/whatsupxtramagazine “like” our page and vote under the bartender’s photo .
Only two votes are counted per person and voting polls close on December 20th. *The Pub Crawl will begin at the employee of the months bar and the limo bus will accommodate 24 passengers. Gratuity not included and must be paid prior to service
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SUDOKU
WORD SEARCH
ALL THAT JAZZ
ALTO BALLAD BARITONE BASS BEAT BEBOP BLOW BLUES BOOGIE BREAK CADENZA CHOPS CHORD
CHORUS CODA COOL DOUBLE TIME DRUM FUSION GLISSANDO GROOVE HORN JAM JUMP LATIN METER
Rules: Every row, column and 3x3 box must have numbers 1 to 9
MODULATION OUTSIDE RHYTHM RIFF SCALE SCAT SOLO STYLE SWING TEMPO TRILL TUNE VAMP
Hard To Find A Good Marriage Counselor
A couple was having some trouble, so they did the right thing and went to a marriage counselor. After a few visits, and a lot of questioning and listening, counselor said that he had discovered the main problem. He stood up, went over to the woman, asked her to stand, and gave her a hug. He looked at the man and said, "This is what your wife needs, at least once a day!" The man frowned, thought for a moment, then said, "OK, what time do you want me to bring her back tomorrow?" FACEBOOK.COM/WHATSUPXTRAMAGAZINE
773.213.4597
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December 2013 Calendar November 29, 2013 - December 1, 2013 Game Convention Wolfcon is for players of board games, computer games, and role-playing games at the Irish American Heritage Center.
December 7 - 8, 2013 Swedish Bazaar Julmarknad is a Christmas bazaar of Scandinavian food and gift items plus traditional entertainment at the Swedish American Museum.
December 1, 2013 Motorcycle Parade - Free Bring a toy to donate (except a stuffed animal), then watch or join the Chicagoland Toys for Tots Motorcycle Parade at W 83rd St. and Western.
December 7 & 21, 2013 Handel’s Messiah It’s a holiday tradition to hear the joyful Handel’s Messiah sung by the Apollo Chorus of Chicago.
December 1, 2013 Toy Sale Browse new and vintage toys from 250 vendors at Tinley Park Annual Holiday Toy Show at Tinley Park High School.
December 8, 2013 Family Treasure Hunt Kids make four activity stops then have a tea party with entertainment and party favors at Treasure Hunt and Tea Party at the Art Institute.
December 1 - 24, 2013 (begins 11/26) Christmas Market - Free Christkindlmarket is an open-air European holiday market on Daley Plaza featuring traditional art, handmade gifts, German foods, choirs, carolers, and an opening ceremony.
December 11, 2013 Wine & Beer Tasting Holiday Cheers! is a seasonal tasting of local spirits, wines, and winter brews at Chicago Botanic Garden.
December 1 - 31, 2013 (dates below) Christmas Lights - Lincoln Park Zoo - Free ZooLights at the Lincoln Park Zoo features millions of holiday lights, ice carvings, music, carousel and train rides, food and gift shopping (plus photos with Santa through Dec. 23). Runs Nov. 29-30 and Dec. 1, 6-8, 13-23, 26-31 and Jan. 1-5. December 1 - 31, 2013 (dates below) Christmas Lights - Brookfield Zoo Holiday Magic is a million twinkling lights, a laser light show, a magic show, animal visits, and songs at the Brookfield Zoo. Runs Nov. 30 and Dec. 1, 7-8, 14-15, 21-22, 26-31. December 1 - 31, 2013 (11/30-1/5) Flower and Train Show - Free Model trains wind their way through a miniature village among Poinsettias during the Winter Flower & Train Show at Lincoln Park Conservatory. December 1 - 31, 2013 (11/14-1/5) Holidays of Light See trees decorated to represent many cultures plus weekend ethnic song-and-dance performances during Christmas Around the World and Holidays of Light at the Museum of Science & Industry. December 5, 2013 Holiday Music Student musicians & singers perform secular seasonal hits and jazz variations at Joyola! at Loyola University. December 5 - 8, 2013 One of a Kind Show and Sale has 600 juried artists selling handmade gifts at Merchandise Mart. December 6 - 8, 2013 Giant Gift Fair Holiday Lights Gift and Craft Fair offers 500 booths for holiday shoppers at Arlington International Racecourse. Cost. December 6 - 28, 2013 Nutcracker Ballet Joffrey Ballet’s production of The Nutcracker is a holiday tradition that features brilliant costumes, fanciful scenery, entrancing storytelling and Tchaikovsky’s famous score played by the Chicago Philharmonic at the Auditorium Theatre. Cost. December 6, 2013 - January 12, 2013 Winter WonderFest - Free Festival Hall at Navy Pier becomes an indoor Winter WonderFest for the holidays, with music, carnival rides, and entertainment. Expect crowds. FACEBOOK.COM/WHATSUPXTRAMAGAZINE
December 14 - 15, 2013 Holiday Market Randolph Street’s Holiday Market offers a mix of affordable antique, vintage, and modern goods in an indoor market at W Randolph & Washington. December 14 - 15, 2013 Model Train Show LEGO Train Show & Party features a huge diorama of trains that run past skyscrapers, brick mania, and kids’ crafts in Wheaton. Free except parking. December 30, 2013 New Year’s Eve - A Day Early Enjoy an open bar, appetizers, live music, dancing, and a silent auction at the black-tie-optional charity benefit EVE of the EVE, Chicago Union Station. December 31, 2013 New Year’s Eve - Fireworks Welcome the new year with New Year’s Eve Fireworks at Navy Pier at midnight. Free. New Year’s Eve - Navy Pier Crystal Gardens New Year’s Eve Party has dancing to mainstream music, party favors, an open bar, hors d’oeuvres, champagne toast at midnight, and a terrace to watch the fireworks, at Navy Pier. New Year’s Eve - Drake Hotel NYE 2014 has 4 ballrooms with DJs, 45 bartenders, and a balloon drop at the Drake Hotel. New Year’s Eve - Palmer House NYE Soiree has 4 ballrooms with DJs, 80 bartenders, and a lavish buffet at Palmer House hotel. New Year’s Eve - Waldorf Astoria Enjoy a night of upscale fun and celebration at Entrepreneur’s Eve to benefit cancer research. New Year’s Eve - Hilton New Year’s Eve Gala 2014 plays top house, hip hop, dance, and top 40 in two ballrooms at Hilton Chicago. New Year’s Eve - Monster’s Ball New Year’s Eve Monster’s Ball is a costume party with drinks, appetizers, a zombie band, and a haunted house at Stage 773. New Year’s Eve - InterContinental New Year's Eve Rock ‘N’ Roll Ball features three music stages in three rooms (rock, party, and club) at the InterContinental Chicago O'Hare. 773.213.4597
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Top 10 Myths About Bartenders Here are the top 10 myths about bartenders that I regularly come across.
you get off work. I’ve been asked out by a few customers over the years but these occasions are few and far between.
1. We are just biding time until we get a “real job”. While it’s true that we’re basically servants and probably don’t have insurance, bartenders typically earn more money than many of our peers while working half the amount of hours. Try as you may, you and your “real job” can’t buy a better life than mine using smugness as currency. That said, many bartenders do have other pursuits – are in school or working at something creative. For most, that jump to a “real job” necessitates an uncomfortable pay cut. Not to mention the fact that there are a whole bunch of bartenders who *gasp* actually feel passionate about it.
6. We went to bartending school. The only bar you’ll find a bartending school grad behind is in a banquet hall or something. No class can teach you this job. The only way to learn it is the hard way and no bar worth a shit would be caught dead hiring someone dumb enough to fork over money to learn how to make Chocatini’s and Long Island Iced Teas. To become a good bartender, you usually have to start in a really crappy place and work your way up. It takes time, effort, a lot of embarrassing mistakes and a bit of lying to become a decent bartender.
2. We sleep until noon. “What are you doing up?!” is often the first thing I get anytime I hit somebody up before 12 pm. This really depends on where we work, as some bartenders’ heads don’t hit our pillows until 4 am but many of us, regardless of when our workday ends, make a concerted effort to get up at a decent hour and function amongst the living, at least most of the time. Hence, we’re often super tired, so be nice to us! 3. We’re all alcoholics. It’s perfectly logical to assume that the dealer is getting high on his own supply. PLENTY of bartenders drink as much as they pour. However, there are two reasons why many of us aren’t the boozehounds you imagine us to be: a) We have access to basically everything and anything which affords us the privilege of a discriminating palate. That means we drink for the taste, not just to get smashed. I’d rather sip a really good rye than shoot a Jägerbomb (shudder). Do I end up drunk sometimes? Duh. But more often than not, it’s quality over quantity. b) Being around alcohol and inebriated people constantly kind of turns you off the stuff. 4. We’re uneducated. Tending bar is a hard, dirty, working class job and so many people seem to think that any idiot could do it. Wrong! Not every barkeep necessarily has a college education but a whole lot do. Sure, it’s often in something like Philosophy or Anthropology (guilty!) but believe me, the person serving your drinks is more likely than not, wicked smart. I 5. “You must get hit on all the time”. I can only speak for myself on this one: Nope. The assumption is based on the fact that I’m a woman in a bar setting. If I was sitting on the other side, I probably would get hit on all the time, since I’ve got boobs, vagina, etc. But it’s different when you’re in the background. Most girl bartenders master the art of standoffish flirting. Where you smile and ask lots of questions but do a really good job of avoiding personal questions about yourself and lying like a motherfucker when guys ask you what time
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7. We actually like you. Your fun, friendly bartender is at work. She’s there to make money. I know it feels like you’re all just hanging out but you aren’t – She’s sweating and running around while you sit and relax. So if they throw you a free drink, it’s not purely out of love and goodwill which means that you need to throw back a tip. If you don’t, you’ll quickly learn how much it sucks when the bartender *doesn’t* like you. 8. We want to get you wasted. Drunk people are the worst people to deal with, especially when money is changing hands. I understand that, under my watch, people are gonna get there but it’s most definitely not the singular goal. Trying to manage a bar full of drunks is something that I wouldn’t wish upon my worst enemy. Additionally, there is liability – I don’t know what you do when you leave my bar. If you get in a car and kill someone (or yourself) drunk driving, that’s on us, legally and spiritually. A good bartender pays attention to intake and subtly tries to help you pace yourself. We aren’t that hard up to squeeze every dollar out of you, that we’d risk your life over it. 9. That we’re gonna “make it a good one”. Telling us to make you a stronger drink is so incredibly arrogant because you’re essentially demanding something for free. If you have to pay extra to get your Big Mac meal supersized, why would it be free to get your drink enhanced? When it comes to cocktails, we measure liquor according to what will impart the best taste. If you put too much bourbon in an Old Fashioned, it will just taste like bourbon and not a cocktail. If you like that, cool. Buy a double. 10. We have a “favorite drink to make”. My #1 favorite drink to make is “one for myself”. For you, it’s whatever’s fastest and easiest. I do enjoy coming up with new cocktails and perfecting my technique in executing difficult ones but that has very little to do with serving you during the rush on a Saturday night. Plus, you’re holding me up with this dumb question. Know any great bartenders? Give us a shout out so we can feature them in an upcoming issue! WWW.WHATSUPXTRA.COM
BAR DIRECTORY
Where are you going tonight?: Lakeview East - Wrigleyville - Southport Bar Celona
3474 N. Clark
773-244-8000
Mullen’s
Bendan’s Pub
3169 N. Broadway
773-929-2929
Murphys Bleachers 3655 N. Sheffield
773-281-5356
Bernie’s
3664 N Clark
773-525-1898
Mystic Celt
3443 N. Southport
773-529-8550
Big City
1010 W. Belmot
773-935-1138
Newport Bar
1344 W Newport
773-325-9111
Blarney Stone
3424 N. Sheffield
773-348-1078
Nick’s Uptown
4015 N Sheridan
773-975-1155
Brew & View
3145 N. Sheffield
773-929-7150
North End
3733 N Halsted
Buck’s Saloon
3439 N. Halsted
773-525-1125
Paddy Long’s
1028 W Diversey
773-348-9711
Clark Street Bar 3040 N. Clark
773-281-6690
Parrots Bar
754 W Wellington
773-281-7878
Coobah
3423 N. Southport
773-528-2220
Piano Bar
3801 N. Clark
773-528-4033
Cubby Bear
1059 W Addison
773-327-1662
Raw Bar & Grill
3720 N Clark St
773-348-7291
Cullen’s Bar
3741 N. Southport
773-975-0600
Rebel Bar
3462 N. Clark
773-348-9084
Dram Shop
3040 N. Broadway
773-549-4401
Redmond’s
3358 N Sheffield
773-404-2151
Fiesta Cantina
3407 N. Clark
773-975-5980
Roadhouse 66
3330 N. Clark
773-525-8166
Friar Tucks
3010 N. Broadway
773-327-5101
Rockit Bar
3700 N.Clark
773-645-4400
Full Shilling
3724 N. Clark
773-248-3330
Rocks
3463 N. Broadway
773-472-0493
Goose Island
3535 N. Clark
773-832-9040
Roscoe’s
3356 N. Halsted
773-281-3355
Higgins Tavern
3259 N. Racine
773-281-7637
Schoolyard
3258 N Southport
773-528-8226
Holiday Club
4000 N. Sheridan
773-348-9600
Schubas Tavern 3159 N Southport
773-525-2508
Irish Oak
3511 N. Clark
Sheffield’s
3258 N Sheffield
773-281-4989
Jack’s Bar
2856 N Southport
773-404-8400
Sidetracks
3349 N. Halsted
773-477-9189
Jacklyn’s Bar
3400 N. Broadway
773-404-5149
Sluggers
3540 N Clark
773-248-0055
Jake’s Pub
2932 N Clark
773-248-3318
Smart Bar
3730 N Clark
773-549-4140
Joe’s On Broadway 3563 N Broadway
773-528-1054
Sopo
3418 N. Southport
773-348-0100
John Barleycorns 3524 N. Clark
773-549-6000
Southport Lanes 3325 N. Southport
773-472-6600
Justin’s
3358 N Southport
773-929-4844
Sports Corner
952 W. Addison
773-929-1441
Kit Kat Lounge
3700 N Halsted
773-525-1111
Take 5 Bar
3747. Southport
773-871-5555
L&L Tavern
3207 N. Clark
773-528-1303
Toon’s
3857 N. Southport
773-935-1919
Little Jim’s
3501 N. Halsted
773-871-6116
Town Hall Pub
3340 N Halsted
773-472-4405
Lucky’s 3
472 N. Clark
773-549-0665
Trace
3714 N. Clark
773-477-3400
Mad River
2909 N. Sheffield
773-935-7500
Trader Todd’s
3216 N Sheffield
773-348-3250
Matilda
3101 N Sheffield
773-883-4400
Vaughans Pub
2917 N. Sheffield
773-281-8188
Matisse
674 W. Diversey
773-528-6670
Vines
3554 N. Clark
773-327-8572
Merkles
3516 N Clark
773-244-1025
Wrigleyville North 3900 N Sheridan
773-929-9543
Metro Smart Bar 3730 N Clark
773-549-4140
Yak-Zies Bar
773-525-9200
Monsignor Murphys
773-348-7285
3019 N. Broadway
FACEBOOK.COM/WHATSUPXTRAMAGAZINE
773.213.4597
3527 N Clark
773-325-2319
7
3710 N Clark
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BAR DIRECTORY
Where are you going tonight?:
Lincoln Park & Old Town Augie's
1721 W. Wrightwood
773-296-0018
McGinny's Tap
313 W. North
773-943-5228
Bird's Nest
2500 N. Southport
773-472-1502
Mickey's
2450 N. Clark
773-435-0007
Blue's
2519 N. Halsted
773-525-8317
O' Brien's
1528 N. Wells
312-787-3131
Burton's Place
1447 N. Wells
773-664-4699
Old Town Ale
219 W. North
773-944-7020
Burwood Tap
7242 W. Wrightwood
773-525-2593
Old Town Pub
1339 N. Wells
773-266-6789
Clybar
417 N. Clybourn
773-388-1877
O'Malley's West 2249 N. Lincoln
773-935-2719
Corcoran's
1615 N. Wells
773-440-0885
Orso's
1401 N. Wells
773-787-6604
Delilah's
2771 N. Lincoln
773-472-2771
Ravens
2326 N. Clark
773-348-1774
Duffy's
422 W. Diversey
773-549-9090
River Shannon
425 W. Armitage
773-944-5087
Durkin's
810 W. Diversey
773-525-2515
Rocks
1301 W. Schubert
773-472-7728
Elbo Room
2817 N. Lincoln
773-549-5549
Saluki Bar
1208 N. Wells
773-274-1824
Field House Pub 2455 N. Clark
773-348-6489
Suite Lounge
1446 N. Wells
773-787-6106
Four Farthings
2060 N. Cleveland
773-935-2060
The Apartment
2251 N. Lincoln
773-348-5100
Frank's
2503 N. Clark
773-549-2700
The Local Option 1102 W. Webster
773-348-2008
Galway Arms
2442 N. Clark
773-472-5555
The Other Side
2436 N. Clark
773-525-8238
Gamekeepers
345 W. Armitage
773-549-0400
Tin Lizzie
2483 N. Clark
773-549-1132
Glascott's
2158 N. Halsted
773-281-1205
Tonic Room
2447 N. Halsted
773-248-8400
Goose Island
1800 N. Clybourn
773-915-0071
Weeds
1555 N. Dayton
312-943-7815
Halligan's Pub
2274 N. Lincoln
773-472-7940
Wellingtons
1300 W. Wellington
773-528-0654
Halsted Harp
2138 N. Halsted
773-348-3665
Wise Fools Pub 2270 N. Lincoln
773-929-1300
Hidden Shamrock 2732 N. Lincoln
773-883-0304
Witts
773-528-7032
Irish Eyes
773-348-9548
Wrightwood Tap 1059 W. Wrightwood
2
2519 N. Lincoln
Joe's Sports Bar 940 W. Weed
773-337-3486
John Barleycorn 2300 N. Lincoln
773-348-8899
John's Place
1200 W. Webster
773-525-6670
Kelly's Pub
949 W. Webster
773-281-0656
Kendall's Pub
2263 N. Lincoln
773-348-7200
Kincade's
950 W. Armitage
773-348-0010
Kingston Mines
2548 N. Halsted
773-477-4646
Lincoln Station
2432 N. Lincoln
773-472-8100
Lincoln Tap
3010 N. Lincoln
773-868-0060
Lion Head Pub
2251 N. Lincoln
773-348-5100
Max Bar
2247 N. Lincoln
773-549-5884
McGee's
950 W. Webster
773-549-8200
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2913 N. Lincoln
773-459-4949
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BAR DIRECTORY
Where are you going tonight?: Northwest
Paddy Macks
4157 N. Pulaski
773-279-9300
Babe’s
4416 N. Milwaukee
773-545-3137
Rabbits
4945 W Foster
773-736-5766
Bill’s Pub
4104 N. Pulaski
773-202-0020
Roman’s
6448 N. Milwaukee
773-467-9827
Brigadoon
5748 W Lawrence
773.777.2403
Sidekicks
4424 W Montrose
773-545-6212
Cabaret Lounge 6101 W. Montrose
773-736-2337
Six Penny Bit
5800 W. Montrose
773-545-2033
Casual Tap
5924 W Montrose
773-283-9490
Thatch Pub
5707 N. Milwaukee
773-763-8179
Charlotte’s Bar
6000 W Gunnison
773-775-3616
Three Counties
5856 N. Milwaukee
773-631-3351
Club Belmont
7844 W. Belmont
773-598-2808
Tommy’s
6954 W Higgins
773-631-4451
Di’s Den
5100 W Irving Park
773-736-7170
Trinity Pub
5943 N. Northwest
773-763-0095
Dugan’s
6051 N. Milwaukee
773-467-5555
Vaughan’s Pub
5485 Northwest
773-631-9206
Edison Park Inn 6713 N. Olmsted
773-775-1404
Windsor Tavern
4530 N. Milwaukee
773-736-3400
Emerald Isle Pub 2537 W Peterson
773-561-6674
Zachary’s
5368 N Milwaukee
773-792-0933
Fantasy Lounge 4400 N Elston
773-685-8083
Filonek’s
6213 N. Milwaukee
773-775-5010
Galvin’s Public
5901 W Lawrence
773-205-0570
Gladstone’s
5734 N. Milwaukee
773-763-3385
Ham Tree Inn
5333 N. Milwaukee
773-792-2072
Harry’s On Elston 5943 N. Elston
773-774-4166
Harwood Bar
6438 W. Montrose
708-867-7781
Hops N Barley
4359 N Milwaukee
773-286-7415
Jet’s Public Hou 6148 N. Milwaukee
773-775-7587
Jimmy Macks
5581 N. Northwest
773-631-1466
Joe E’s Lounge
4206 W Irving Park
773-283-3422
Landmark Pub
5135 N. Oriole
773-867-6533
Lasko’s
5525 N Milwaukee
773-774-9800
Lizard Lounge
3058 W. Irving Park
773-463-7599
Margaret’s
5134 W. Irving Park
773-685-4493
Mary’s Place
6300 N. Milwaukee
773-775-7587
MCM Pub
3906 N. Cicero
773-736-2644
McNamaras
4328 W Irving Park
773-725-1800
Mo Dailey’s
6070 N. Northwest Hwy
773-774-6121
Moretti’s
6727 N. Olmsted
773-631-1223
Mrs. O’Leary’s
4368 N. Milwaukee
773-427-7300
Mug Shots
7718 W. Addison
773-625-8466
Murrays
5522 N Elston
773-774-3466
Night Caps
5007 W Irving Park
773-282-8654
Nil’s Tap
5734 N. Elston
773-594-1288
FACEBOOK.COM/WHATSUPXTRAMAGAZINE
How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant of the weak and the strong, because someday in your life, you will have been all of these. George Washington Carver, African-American scientist and inventor
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BAR DIRECTORY
Where are you going tonight?:
Lakeview West/ Roscoe Village / North-Center / Lincoln Square / Albany Park / Ravenswood Andersonvile 240 Lounge
3948 W. Lawrence
773-267-0474
Huetten Bar
4721 N. Lincoln
773-561-2507
42 Latitude
3341 N Western
773-910-1473
Jury's
4337 N. Lincoln
773-935-2255
Abbey Pub
3420 W. Grace
773-478-4408
Katerina's
1902 W. Irving
773-348-7592
Atlantic Bar
5062 N. Lincoln
773-506-7090
Keenan O' Reilly's 3916 N. Ashland
773-857-3800
Bad Dog
4535 N. Lincoln
773-334-4040
Leadway Bar
5233 N. Damen
773-728-2663
Big Joe’s
1818 W Foster
773-784-8755
Long Room
1612 W. Irving
773-665-4500
Black Rock
3614 N. Damen
773-348-4044
Margie's Pub
4145 N. Lincoln
773-477-1644
Brendan’s Too
3135 W. Montrose
773-463-2771
Mulligan's
2000 W. Roscoe
773-549-4225
Brownstone
3937 N. Lincoln
773-528-3700
Mutiny
2428 N. Western
773-486-7774
Carol’s Pub
4659 N Clark
773-334-2402
Oakwood 83
1969 W. Montrose
773-327-2785
Celtic Crown
4301 N. Western
773-588-1110
O'Donovan's
2100 W. Irving
773-478-2100
Chicago Joe's
2256 W. Irving
773-478-7000
O'Lanagan
2335 W. Montrose
773-583-2252
Chief O'Neills
3471 N. Elston
773-583-3066
Peek Inn
2825 W. Irving Park
773-267-5197
Christina's Place 3759 N. Kedzie
773-463-1768
Rail Bar
4709 N Damen
773-878-9400
Claddagh Ring
773-271-4794
Richochet's
4644 N. Lincoln
773-271-3127
Cody's Public House 1658 W. Barry
773-528-4050
Riverview
1958 W. Roscoe
773-871-1200
Daily's Bar
4560 N. Lincoln
773-561-6198
Roscoe Villiage Pub 2159 W. Addison
773-472-6160
Farraguts
5240 N Clark
773-728-4903
Save More Lounge 4060 N. Lincoln
773-281-1444
Finley Dunnes
3458 N. Lincoln
773-477-7311
Side Street
1456 W. George
773-327-1127
Fizz
3220 N. Lincoln
773-348-6000
Silvie's
1902 W. Irving
773-871-6239
Foley's
1841 W. Irving
773-929-1210
Small Bar
2956 N. Albany
773-509-9888
Four Moon
1847 W. Roscoe
773-929-6666
Stadium West
3188 N. Elston
773-866-2450
Four Shadows
2758 N. Ashland
773-248-9160
Ten Cat Tavern
3931 N. Ashland
773-935-5377
Four Trey's Pub 3333 N. Damen
773-549-8845
The Temple
3001 N. Ashland
773-248-0990
Fuller's Pub
3203 W. Irving
773-478-8060
Uptown Lounge 1136 W. Lawrence
773-878-1136
Gio’s
4857 N. Damen
773-334-0345
Villiage Tap
2055 W. Roscoe
773-883-0817
Hidden Cove
5336 N. Lincoln
773-275-3955
Waterhouse
3407 N. Paulina
773-871-1200
Hidden Cove
5338 N. Lincoln
773-275-6711
Wild Goose
4265 N. Lincoln
773-281-7112
Horseshoe
4115 N. Lincoln
773-248-1366
Windy City Inn
2257 W. Irving
773-588-7088
2306 W. Foster
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TA L E S F R O M T H E C H R I S
Hope is a Wild Card By Rob Christiansen
The angels made me a garden variety pianist in the Garden of Eden section of heaven. Everyone said the angels ran my afterlife and I was an angels’ boy. That was a joke. No one knew I had once tangled with police and been arrested.
Sections were invented by a resident of my section (Garden of Eden pride!) who had once found his car only because he remembered he’d parked it on the Joe Paterno level. I was sent down from heaven to secure an expungement and I wasn’t told how to get back. Section awareness wouldn’t help me now. Lesson learned: Disclose your criminal past on your heaven application. Luckily, I met Grace, in Illinois. We hiked Starved Rock’s colorful cliffs and she bought a dream catcher in the gift shop. An inclination and a voice within me encouraged her to take up piano. “I’m putting that dream in the bag,” she said, and she pantomimed doing so. She was playing piano at Redhead in Chicago when I hinted at my plight by requesting “Friends in Low Places.” On her break, I asked her if she would speak to the judge at my expungement hearing at 26th and California on Nov. 1 of this year. (It took forever to get a court date.) “Yes,” she replied. “I’ll silence the prosecutor. Two beers, please,” she instructed a bartender. “You’re an angel, Grace,” I said. “You must know; I had an affair with my expungement attorney that ended long before I ever imagined I would have to retain her. Kim broke us up.” Grace knew only that I married Kim and we had twins. “I protect them, Grace,” I said, softening the blow. “Cheers.” Outside Redhead, on Ontario, west of State Street, the atmosphere was pristine. It was now 4:05 a.m. “So, what did you supposedly do?” she asked. She had a long, horse face with character. Much of her hair was bunched behind her head, exposing her swan neck. She wore a coat over her long dress. Our cab pulled to the curb. “Domestic, reduced to simple battery, Grace,” I whispered. We tucked ourselves into the back seat. I spoke aloud to the driver before turning to my companion. “I was on my front stoop at dusk with a lamp,” I said quietly, “waiting to show my boarders the damage their German shepherd did to the garden that day. The association had fined me a dollar. “Hope opened the gate and entered the yard. I stood, without the lamp. Emil entered, trailing Otto, who wasn’t on a leash. I requested a meeting at the garden. Hope rudely said she wasn’t interested in attending a meeting. She proceeded up the steps. I used my arm to impede her path. “Emil saw Hope bounce off my arm and fall in the bushes to which we stood immediately adjacent. She wore her John FACEBOOK.COM/WHATSUPXTRAMAGAZINE
Rissman & Son Windbreaker jacket. She wasn’t even scratched. “I was already considering having the young couple evicted because Emil was behind in rent. “Emil called the cops. He told them I picked up his wife and threw her in the bushes. Hope concurred and Emil shouted gleefully at me, ‘You’re goin’ tuh jail!’ I was horrified out of my mind, Grace, waiting for the cops to arrive.” Our driver took Michigan Ave. towards Wacker Dr. in a ghost town. The lights and sights were reminiscent of heaven. Grace noticed the resemblance and laughed. She reached back and removed her barrettes. She shook her head and loosened her hair. It was as long as a ladder she could have climbed on down to Earth if she hadn’t soared here on a stork, as I had done. Grace came to my apartment for a bed. She stayed for the piano and cottoned to Otto. He lies by the fire and listens to her play while I’m at work. I’ve been a sandwich artist. Grace plays in bars at night while Otto and I are home listening to ESPN 1000 or watching “Two and a Half Men,” my guilty pleasure. Hope, in the couple’s desperate last minute, asked me to keep Otto. He’s been a best friend. Hope and Emil hadn’t followed simple rules. They had let Otto roam freely about the yard—an oft-repeated violation for which the association would always fine me a quarter. Improbably, Hope stands right outside Expungement Hearing Room 101 on Nov. 1. I’m awash with a bad feeling even though my attorney won’t allow her to testify. Grace and I approach Hope. Rather than await introductions from me, Hope says, “Otto loves your piano playing, Grace.” Among Hope’s accurate guesses is her mention of Grace’s name. I hadn’t seen Hope since she and Emil were evicted. Dispassionately, I had witnessed their horror. Emil, shoved out by the sheriff, promised to kill me. “Please take care of Otto!” Hope cried. Otto stood by me. A deputy pushed Hope over my threshold. My attorney arrives last. She doesn’t strike Hope. Grace leaves the prosecutor speechless, but Hope has the last word. Hope stands before the judge and says, “He loves dogs, your Honor.” Grace was an easy angel. Hope was a wild card. My expungement attorney was no angel, but she served poetic justice by getting me off in a legal sense. Respectfully, she declines my lunch invitation. Grace, Hope and I ride the 60 bus to the 21 bus to Chinatown. (I had used CTA Trip Planner.) Hope suggests we eat at Three Happiness. I’m at home flanked by these two as we walk along Cermak Rd. It’s like I’m back in heaven. “I play piano,” Hope says after we had settled in, as though she just now thought to tell us. I feel her pain. Years ago, I had inadvertently knocked her into bushes. “You always liked to sit at my piano,” I reply over an egg roll as Grace looks on.
773.213.4597
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Go to MODAILEYS.COM or MO DAILEY’S on FACEBOOK
6070 N. Northwest Hwy Next to Norwood Park Metra station and right on Northwest Hwy 773 -774-6121
FREE POOL SUNDAY NIGHTS 7-CLOSE! “Come watch every Blackhawks game - Coors Light drink specials & free giveaways after every period! Enter our grand prize drawing for a chance to win a personal Coors Light vending machine!”
$2
BOTTLES THURSDAYS
2nd Annual “Friends, Family, and Customer Appreciation Holiday Party” Friday December 13, 5pm-??
This is one party you don’t want to miss!!
BOOK YOUR HOLIDAY PARTY TODAY
Running out of time? Don’t stress! Let Mo Daileys take the stress out your holiday party planning, easy and affordable party packages available!
Call (773) 774-6121 to book your party today!
The Northwest Sides BEST BURGER BAR!!!
Business and Leadership Development SET YOUR OWN HOURS, MUST HAVE COMPUTER AND ENTREPRENEUR MINDSET Benefits:
• • • • •
Set your own days and hours to build your business Positive Team Environment and Culture Lifestyle enhancement product that helps peak experiences and memories Ongoing Support Commissions based on sales/efforts/results/etc.
We are looking to team up with people looking to make a difference. Must be passionate about helping people and has a burning desire to succeed.
Call 773-213-4597 or email: romackk@yahoo.com FACEBOOK.COM/WHATSUPXTRAMAGAZINE
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Kelly’s Pub
80 949 W. WEBSTER
773- 281- 0656
Celebrating
Years of serving beers
VISIT US AT KELLYSPUB.COM FOR UPCOMING EVENTS
Sunday: Monday: Tuesday: Wednesday:
$15 Miller Lite Buckets & $3 Lagunitas Draft $1 Coors Drafts - $1 Tacos $2 Bud & Bud Light Bottles - $1 Burgers
Thursday:
$8 Coors Light Pitchers + $5 3 Olive Vodka Bombs & $5 All Sandwiches $4 Goose Island Green Line Drafts $12 Coors Buckets
Friday: Saturday: 32 WHATS UP XTRA
$2 Off All Drafts
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.25 Cent Wings
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