Whats Up Xtra Rock September 2013 by Lisa Romack

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Rock County Plus

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BOTM ANGIE LEGENDS 11 N Main St Janesville

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3501 E Milwaukee St. Janesville (608) 305-0253

EASTPOINTWEDGEINN.COM LIKE US ON FACEBOOK

DAILY SPECIALS MONDAY

Miller Lite Aluminum 16oz. Pints

TUESDAY

16oz. TAPS MILLER LITE

WEDNESDAY

CHERRY BOMBS

HOLY WATER

THURSDAY

SUNDAY

3 TALL 4 00 8

CAPTAIN & COKE

FOR

BUCKETS 12oz DOMESTIC CANS OR BOTTLES

LATE NIGHT APPETIZERS SERVED 8PM - 11PM NIGHTLY

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Welcome Bar Hopperz Photographers to the What’s Up Xtra Magazine Team. When you see them out and about be sure to say “CHEEZ!” Be sure to “Like” Bar Hopperz on facebook and “Like” What’s Up Xtra Magazine Rock on facebook for promos, upcoming events, and weekly specials.

Don't Drive Drunk! We support our local Tavern League and the Safe Ride Program! Members of the Tavern League provide vouchers for patrons that wish to take a cab home rather than drive their own vehicles. To take advantage of the program, simply ask your bartender. The cab fare is free with the voucher provided by the tavern. (Tips are appreciated!)

WWW.FACEBOOK.COM/BARHOPPERZ CONTACT INFO 608-359-9530

TABLE OF CONTENTS

OUR ST A FF keith romack publisher

7 ALL MIXED UP 8 news AND STUFF

Lisa romack Sales Director

12 ASK THE EXPERT 13 patios and beer gardens

Robert Christiansen Column Writer

15 bartender of the month x

To advertise in

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JUNE 2012 BEER GARDENS WHAT’S UP THIS MONTH

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17 sudoku crossword wordfind 20 - 21 bar directory

jon obert editor

22 lake MI circle tour

23 la las love letters

ted phillips photographer

24 LIVE MUSIC SCHEDULE www.whatsupxtra.com

25 karaoke dj open mic lauren strec contributing writer

26 horoscope Front page photo taken at HHFFRRRGGH by Lisa Romack The name What’s Up Xtra Magazine is a registered trade name, and use of this name is strictly prohibited. The contents of this publication are copyrighted What’s Up Xtra Chicago Magazine -2012 We encourage our readers to write their stories, send photos, and make comments. All submissions sent to us by phone, email, fax, or handwritten become the property of What’s Up Xtra Chicago Magazine.

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28 jimmy buffet z travel tour 30 are you smarter than chester CHECK OUT

Whats UP Xtra Magazine ROCK COUNTY & SURROUNDING

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We are always on the lookout for dynamic writers, photographers and sales staff to contribute to our publication If you are interested in joining our team or interested in advertising opportunities contact us at 773-288-9400 or email: whatsupxtra@yahoo.com

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1221 WOODMAN ROAD

JANESVILLE

608-756-1221

www.sneakerssportsbarandgrill.com

STOP IN FOR OUR DAILY FOOD DRINK SPECIALS &

SUNDAY SNEAKERS BLOODY MARY

A BLOODY MARY WITH A SLIDER

MEAT RAFFLE AT NOON LIVE MUSIC

KILLER CARS SAT 9/21 BLUE OLIVES SAT 9/28 SHOT GUN JANE SAT 10/5 OLD SCHOOL

MONDAY NIGHT 2 FOR 1 PIZZA DINE-IN ONLY

SAT 9/7

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VOLLEYBALL FALL LEAGUES ARE FORMING - $50 ENTRY PER TEAM - 100% GOES BACK TO THE PLAYERS STOP IN AND SIGN UP

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Monday FREE DARTS AND $2 DOMESTIC BEERS

50 TAPPERS

DART TOURNAMENTS FRIDAY

SEP 27TH, OCT 4TH, OCT 11TH @ 8pm

SEPT

9pm

- 2a m

EVERY SATURDAY NIGHT

209 W Milwaukee

During BADGER & PACKER GAMES

FRI 9/20 KILLER CARS

Janesville

(608) 563-0410

ALL MIXED UP by Lisa Romack

Football season is here and game on. The warm weather may be on its way out, but good food, great friends, and fun times are just beginning. Next time you gather with your pigskin loving pals for a day of celebration and team support, get the party started by mixing up one (or all) of these football inspired cocktails for a sure “touchdown” at your next party!

n o r i d Gri nade Lemo Ingredients: 1 ½ oz Jagermeister ¼ oz Fireball Cinnamon Whiskey ½ oz Butterscotch Schnapps 3 oz Lemonade Directions: Build over ice in highball glass. Stir. Garnish with lemon wheel, cherry, and a fresh sprig of mint. FACEBOOK.COM//WHATSUPXTRAMAGAZINE

Hail Mary

Necessary Roughness

Ingredients: 1 ½ oz Jim Beam Black 2 dashes Worcestershire Sauce 5 dashes Tabasco Sauce 2 dashes Angostura ¼ oz Lime Juice 3 oz Clamato Juice

Ingredients: 1 ½ oz Tequila ½ oz Peach Schnapps ½ oz Crème de Cassis ½ oz Lime Juice

Directions: Build over ice in highball glass in order given. Stir. Garnish with jalapeno marinated pickle, pepperoncini, or garnish of choice. 773.288-9400

Directions: Place all ingredients in cocktail shaker with ice. Shake to blend. Strain into margarita glass rimmed with salt. Garnish with lime wedge.

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News & Stuff

Two New Drugs That Could Increase Weight Loss

Two new diet pills promise to boost weight loss by 5 to 10 percent, and are being promoted as a new tool for doctors trying to help Americans ﬁght obesity. Belvik, pronounced bel-VEEEK by Eisai, works on an individual’s brain chemistry by creating a feeling of fullness. It helps an obese patient lose an average of about 5 percent of their starting weight. The wholesale cost of a month's supply is $200. What patients pay depends on their

insurance coverage. The second drug is called Qsymia, pronounced Kyoo-SIMee-uh by Vivus. It helps obese people drop about 10 percent of their body weight by suppressing the appetite and increasing the feeling of fullness. Both drugs are intended for people who are roughly 35 or more pounds over a healthy weight, or for overweight patients who have another weight-related condition such as high blood pressure, high cholesterol, or type 2 diabetes. While neither drug promises a dramatic cure for obesity, an additional 10 or 20 pound loss could be important.

These Simple Steps Will Secure Your Smartphone Data Lose your smartphone and someone could have access to everything from your address to your ﬁnancial data. Not a happy thought. But, with a few simple steps you can protect your information. 1. Put in a password or pin number. You will have to enter it before you use the phone. Might be inconvenient, but along with protecting pertinent information, it will have the added beneﬁt of making pocket dialing impossible. 2. Set up tracking. Android users can use the free app Android Lost. The iPhone comes with Find My iPhone, which you must activate on the device through iCloud. Windows phone users can log in to their Microsoft accounts to use the built-in Find My Phone feature. 3. Beware of unknown apps. Anyone can build an app for a phone. Make sure you are not getting one built by a thief by using reputable app websites. For online activity, using your cellular data plan helps keep your information safe. Install updates as soon as you receive them, and log out of banking and other sensitive apps after you use them. A few simple steps can go a very long way!

No Time to Exercise? Try This 2-Minute Drill! Want a fairly painless way to help get back into shape? You can wake up your metabolism with this 2-minute drill that’s featured in the ﬁtness book ‘Belly Off! Diet’, written by Jeff Csatari, editor of Men's Health, and ﬁtness expert, David Jack. Although the drill was developed for men, the principles apply to women as well. The authors suggest the best time to work out is in the morning before you begin your day. Perform this eight-callisthenic circuit at an effort of about a 6 to 7 on a scale from 1 to 10 scale. Do each exercise for 15 seconds, then immediately move on to the next. 1- Jumping jacks 2-Prisoner squats* 3-High knee skips 4-Side-to-side hops 5-Pushups 6-Crunches 7-Mountain climbers** 8-Body weight thrusters***

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*Prisoner squats: Stand with your ﬁngertips behind your ears, chest out, elbows back, and feet shoulder-width apart. Sit back at your hips and bend your knees to lower your body as far as you can without losing the natural arch of your spine. Keep your head up. Squeeze your gluteals and push yourself back to start position. **Mountain climbers: Start in a pushup position. Keeping your head in line with your body, bring your right knee to your chest. As you straighten the right leg to start position, bring your left knee to your chest. Keep your weight on the balls of your feet and climb alternating your legs back and forth. ***Body weight thrusters: Keeping your back straight and hands at your shoulders, bend at the knees into a squat, and then explosively drive your legs straight as you extend your arms above your head. So there it is, simple and easy. Give it a try; what do you have to lose? Except a few pounds and your beer belly of course!

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“Party at the Park”

iPHONE REPAIR

ENJOY A COLD BEER ON OUR DECK

iPod - iPad - iPhone - MacBook:

FREE ESTIMATES

UrgentiCare Wisconsin 608-289-3954 urgenticarewisconsin.com Jim Moses

2-4-1 BURGERS

Saturday served from 11am-2pm

FRIDAY FISH FRY

Beer Battered Cod served from 11am-9pm

BIKER FRIENDLY 1637 E Racine St, Janesville

608- 754-5600

Out of the Frying Pan and in to the Fire A man was sitting reading his morning paper when his wife hit him on the head with a frying pan. “What in the heck was that for?” the man asked. The wife replied, “That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on it that I found in your pants pocket.” The man then said “When I was at the races last week Jenny was the name of the horse I bet on you silly woman.” The wife embarrassed by her mistake, apologized, and went on with the housework. Three days later the man was watching television when his wife bashed him on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious. Upon re-gaining his senses the man asked, “Why in the world did you hit me in the noggin this time? “Well”, replied his wife, “Your horse Jenny is on the phone and would like to speak with you immediately!”

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A Dear Ricky Letter

A soldier stationed in Afghanistan recently received a letter from his girlfriend back home. It read as follows: Dear Ricky, I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is just too great. I must admit that I have cheated on you twice since you’ve been gone, and it’s not fair to either of us. I’m sorry. Please return the picture of me that I sent to you. Love, Becky The soldier, crushed, asked his fellow soldiers for any snapshots they could spare of their girlfriends, sisters or ex-girlfriends. In addition to the picture of Becky, Ricky included all the other pictures of the pretty gals he had collected from his buddies. There were 57 photos in the envelope, along with his note: Dear Becky, I’m so sorry, but I can’t quite remember who the hell you are. Please take your picture from the pile, and send the rest back to me. Take Care, Ricky

A golf club walks into a bar and orders a beer, but the bartender refuses to serve him. “Why not?” asks the golf club. “You'll be driving later.”

ASK THE EXPERT... Wino: Butch Cassidy Profession: Professional Golfer / Landscaper Likes:

Michael Jackson and break dancing

Dislikes: Toupees, bushy eyebrows and chest hair Freddie asks: I drink quite and bit and it really pisses off my wife so I thought I might try to cut down. They say it takes 21 days to form a habit or break an old habit. Do you think there is any truth to that? Wino: Freddie, I don’t know about any of that mumbo jumbo psyco babble. I do know I once got busy with a hooker over on the Southside and caught the crabs and it took me about 21 days to pull all them critters out of my curlies.

Melinda asks: I have put on a few pounds this year and I really want to lose the weight. There are so many fad diets out there that I don’t know which one to choose. Have you got any ideas on how I can get on the right track? Wino: Come on down to the dive bar I hang out at. They got dollar PBR’s and a stripper pole – start swinging on that bad boy for a while and you’ll lose the weight in no time. It aint no thang I like em big round and juicy. Sheldon asks: I’ve been working in an ofﬁce as an accountant for years and feel like I need to do something more hands on. I love animals and was thinking of volunteering at the local animal shelter, any thoughts?

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Wino: I once had this job called a Chicken Sexer. My job entailed determining the sex of newly hatched chicks by squeezing the poop out of the chicken and taking a peek for a small bump inside the chicken’s ass. If the bump was present it's a boy if it's not it's a girl. Just say the word and I’d be happy to call up my buddy and put in a good word for ya!

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Patio and Beer Gardens

Have a cold one on a deck near you. Suds O'Hanahans . Boxcars Pub & Grub

435 E Grand Ave Beloit

Proudly presents Employee Nights.

108 Allen St Clinton

Great, Hometown Fun!

Two Brothers

116 W Fulton St Edgerton

Cold beer, great food, and fun!

Bobbleheads Sports Bar

2709 S US Hwy 51 Janesville

Every Wednesday Karaoke 9pm-2am.

East Point Sports Pub

3501 E Milwaukee Janesville

Family owned and operated.

HHFFRRGGGH

731 S Wuthering Hills Dr Janesville Offering an outdoor ﬁre pit and dining.

Russ's Park Place

1637 E Racine St Janesville

Party at the Park!

Sneaker’s Sports Bar

1221 Woodman Rd Janesville

Fall volleyball leagues now forming!

Snuffy's Still

3538 E County Rd Milton

A "come as you are country bar!"

A Dying Man’s Wishes

Our self-image and our habits tend to go together. Change one and you will automatically change the other. Dr. Maxwell Maltz, surgeon and author of self improvement books

A man who is dying in the hospital is surrounded by his two sons, a daughter, and his wife and nurse. With just days left to live the man says to his eldest son, “To you, Peter, I leave the Beverly houses. To you, my dear daughter, I leave the apartments in the Los Angeles Plaza. To you Charlie, being my youngest son with a large future, I leave the City Center ofﬁces. And ﬁnally to you, my dear wife, the three residential building towers in downtown.”

The nurse very impressed by the dying man’s generosity tells his wife, “Madam, your husband is very rich and has many properties! You all are so lucky he has shared his fortune with you before he passes on!” The wife chuckles at the nurse’s naivety. She then replies with a smirk, “Rich, huh? Lucky? My husband is a Milkman and those are the routes where he delivers the milk!” FACEBOOK.COM//WHATSUPXTRAMAGAZINE

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The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experiences. Eleanor Roosevelt, Former First Lady of the United States

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Computer Logic

A language teacher was explaining to her class that in French, nouns unlike their English counterparts are grammatically designated as masculine or feminine. "House" in French, is feminine…La maison." "Pencil in French, is masculine…le crayon." One puzzled student asked, "What gender is computer?" After think for a moment the teacher was unable to answer the question and could not find the word in her French dictionary. So for fun, she split the class into two groups by gender and asked them to decide whether the word computer should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Both groups were required to give four reasons for their recommendation. The boy's group decided that computer should definitely be of the feminine gender…la computer because: 1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic. 2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else. 3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for possible later retrieval. 4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it. The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be masculine…le computer because: 1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on. 2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves. 3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they are the problem. 4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer you could have gotten a better model. WWW.WHATSUPXTRA.COM

ur o VOTE FOR YOUR FAVORITE y s te ’ o tra wh ori SEPTEMBER BARTENDER ? r v e a f end Go to facebook.com/WHATSUPXTRAMAGAZINEROCK t bar

‘Like’ the page and ‘Like’ or comment on the bartenders photo or text 773.288.9400

The Bartender who receives the most votes will win...2 Tickets and a Bus Trip for a Wine Tour in October courtesy of Z Travel Tours!

AUGUST BARTENDER OF THE MONTH IS...

Bartender: Nary Russ’s Park Place 1637 E Racine St, Janesville Signature Drink: Adios Mother F****r Ingredients: Vodka, Gin, Rum, 1800 Tequila, Blue Curacao, Sweet & Sour, Sprite Words of Wisdom: “Sh*t happens when you party naked!”

Bartender: Sarah Bobbleheads Sports Bar & Grill 2709 S US Hwy 51, Janesville Signature Drink: Melon Breeze Ingredients: Midori, Bananas Over You, Pineapple Juice Words of Wisdom: “Candy Is dandy, But liquor is quicker.”

CONGRATULATIONS

ANGIE

Bartender: Nathan Junction Pub, 130 Merchant Row, Milton Signature Drink: Pelz Punch Ingredients: Southern Comfort, Bacardi, Amaretto, Orange & Pineapple Juice, Grenadine Words of Wisdom: “Live like you golf. Don’t forget to follow through.”

LEGENDS

11 N Main Janesville “We drink to make other people interesting.” Angie won a Z Travel Tour for 2 to a Brewers Game on Sept 21st.

Rules: All service employees are eligible to win. The service employee who receives the most votes in the month wins. You can submit your vote by texting (773) 288-9400 or go to facebook.com/whatsupxtramagazineROCK “like” our page and vote under the bartender’s photo . Only two votes are counted per person and voting polls close on September 20th. FACEBOOK.COM//WHATSUPXTRAMAGAZINE

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APPETIZERS BEER BREAD CAKE CLEAN COCKTAILS COOKING COOKWARE DATE DECORATIONS

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MUSIC NAPKINS PLATES SALAD SERVERS SIDES TABLECLOTH THEME TIME WINE

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Distribution Area Did you know that the perfect bar/restaurant runs at a level of 80% regulars and 20% new customers? Let us help you build that 20% by ensuring your ad will be seen locally by people in your target market (see above map for distribution area). Magazines have maintained popularity with readers through the years and have proven that magazine advertising will stand the test of time. Readers can ﬁnd their FREE copy of What's Up Xtra in outdoor magazine racks, convenient stores, local hotels, bars restaurants, liquor stores and conveniently view it online anytime on our website. Give us a call at 773-288-9400 and let us help design your ad today so people know What's Up at you place of business!

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BAR DIRECTORY AFTON Afton Pub 4910 Jefferson St Friendly Village 5321 S County Road D Albany Center Tavern 108 N Water St Clayt’s Corner 120 N Water St Avalon Hat Rack Tap 1725 Market St BELOIT Alarm Box 925 4th St Alibi Bar & Grill 1180 Madison Rd Alumni House 863 5th St Ballyhoo Tavern 904 4th St Bootleggers Bar 5842 East Creek Rd Bop 530 E Grand Ave Brass Rail 646 4th St CarTunes 2640 Prairie Ave Club Impulse 132 W Grand Ave Coyotes 107 Dearborn St End Zone 616 4th St Filling Station 1414 Cranston Rd Foxhole 3807 S Riverside Dr Grand Slam 173 W Grand Ave Hanson's 615 Cranstan Rd Hog Cabin Saloon 631 W Newark Rd Jerseys Bar 2770 Milwaukee Rd Kline’s Club 88 65 Portland Ave Mike's Roadhouse 614 Broad St Mouse Tavern 420 Madison Rd Pitcher’s Mound 2745 Prairie Ave Rcc Pub 3360 Riverside Dr Rivals Sports Bar 443 E Grand Ave Rooney’s Pub 65 Portland Ave Road Dawg Pub 2956 Milwaukee Rd Sara's Pub 1567 Madison Rd Suds O'Hanahan's 435 E Grand Ave The Down Under 3360 Riverside Dr The Last Lap 1028 Mary St Town Club 1900 St Lawrence Ave Turtle Tap 1344 E Grand Ave Thristy Badger 2683 Prairie Ave The Rock Bar 101 Maple Ave BRODHEAD Payees Pub 606 1st Center Ave Silver Dollar Saloon 906 W Exchange St CLINTON Boxcars 108 Allen Street Billy’s Sandtrap N3941 Golf Course Rd Cougar Lanes 204 Mill St M & J Bar & Pizza 1117 W 2nd Ave Rock’n Rogers 410 Front St The Shopiere Tap 5227 E County Road J

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608-365-2891 608-362-9732 608-862-3320 608-862-3010 608-754-9779 608-362-9980 608-365-6069 608-362-2425 608-362-9969 608-312-2224 608-363-1921 608-362-9999 608-362-3362 608-361-0000 608-756-4511 608-362-4911 608-362-8652 608-362-5249 608-362-6013 608-313-8797 608-365-0500 651-455-4561 608-299-0202 608-361-1100 608-362-1196 608-207-3224 608-365-1677 608-299-8580 608-362-1440 608-363-9374 608-207-3139 608-368-1933 608-365-1677 608-362-3762 608-362-0733 608-365-1212 608-312-2282 608-363-7625 608-897-3300 608-897-2626 608-676-1149 608-897-4488 608-676-2279 608-897-2345 608-676-5678 608-362-9643

Southern Wisconsin & Northern Illinois

Where are you going tonight? EDGERTON Anchor Inn 709 E State Road 59 Convoy’s Bar 112 W Fulton St Decoy Bar & Grill 1105 N. Main St Dockside 723 N Ellendale Rd Emigails Road Hse 650 E. Hwy 59 Johnny's Ofﬁce 531 Lake Drive Rd Karen’s Roost 13 Swift St Northern Inn 69 Us Highway 51 N Oberg's Bar 348 Liguori Rd Oats Bin 408 Highway St Pit Stop 13 Swift St Red Baron Tavern 124 W Fulton St Sand Trap 520 N Main Showboat Tap 3515 Hwy M Two Brothers Bar 116 W Fulton St Wile-E's Bar 12 W Fulton St EVANSVILLE GeneO's 7530 Cty M Night Owl 19 E Main St Pete's Inn 14 N Madison St Union Tavern 10430 N US Hwy 14 FOOTVILLE B’Ner’s Bar 216 Depot St Toe Town Tap 237 Depot St FORT ATKINSON Bienfang’s Bar 28 N Water St E Bitz’s Outer Limits N1957 US Hwy 12 Black Hawk 200 S Main St Brickhouse 1501 Janesville Ave Fat Boyz 219 S Main St Kranky’s W8546 US Hwy 12 Norm’s Hideaway W8639 Kuehn Rd Paddy Coughlin’s 14 Sherman Ave E Pete’s Place W3075 Green Isle Dr Sunset Tavern W7905 High Ridge Rd What’s the Point W 6950 Cty Tk C INDIANFORD Bubba D’s 2516 W County Rd JANESVILLE Alfresco Cafe 3900Milton Ave Applebee's 3024 Milton Ave Bad Brad's 907 Rockport Rd Bazinga’s 1110 Kellogg Blackbridge Bowl 1141 Black Bridge Rd Bobbleheads 2709 S Us Highway 51 Bogg Trotters 2200 Riverside Dr Browning Bar 3759 Stone Ridge Dr Buffalo Wild Wings 2929 Milton Avenue Charlies Place 2020 E Racine St Deano's Westside Pub 2523 W Wall St Diamond Dave's 2500 Milton Avenue

608-884-7565 608-884-0498 608-884-6688 608-884-0000 608-884-7922 608-884-3060 608-884-4032 608-884-4027 608-884-9944 608-884-8263 608-884-4032 608-884-6628 608-884-8773 608-884-4181 608-884-3088 608-884-0485 608-882-1216 608-882-9973 608-882-4170 608-882-9931 608-876-6521 608-876-6747 920-563-8046 920-563-3773 920-568-1898 920-397-7640 920-563-3051 920-568-9090 608-884-4823 920-397-7776 262-593-8319 920-563-5702 920-563-9992 608-884-4181 608-757-4444 608-756-3559 608-754-9777 608-752-9566 608-757-3030 608-752-8910 608-757-1444 608-756-0783 608-741-9464 608-756-9369 608-754-5889 608-755-9979

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Southern Wisconsin & Northern Illinois

BAR DIRECTORY

Where are you going tonight? Diamond Jim's 6530 US Highway 51 S Down the Street 967 S Jackson St East Point Sportz Pub 3501 E Milwaukee El-Ra Bowl 1942 Center Ave Friendly Village 5321 E County Road A D Game Day 966 S Jackson St Hanson’s Hollow 1012 W Happy Hollow Rd Helgesen’s Harpos 5201 W. State Hwy 11 Hammy's 2131 Center Ave HHFFRRRGGH Inn 731 S Wuthering Hills Hooters 3300 N Pontiac Dr Juli’s Friendly Tap 1020 Rockport Rd Legends 11 N Main St Looking Glass 18 N Main St Main Street Saloon 117 N Main St Milwaukee Grill 2601 Morse St My Apartment 15 N Arch St Mo’s Taasbag 2339 Milton Ave O'Riley & Conways 214 N Milwaukee St Quotes 24 N Main St Riders Inn 721 Center Ave Riley's Sports Bar 209 W Milwaukee St Rivers Edge Bow 215 S River St Road Dawg Saloon 2914 Morse Russ’s Park Place 1637 E Racine St Shady Nook 2815 N Washington St Slicks Bar & Grill 309 Rockport Rd Sneakers Sports Bar1221 Woodman Rd Someother Place 121 E Milwaukee St Speakeasy Lounge 19 N High Street Spirits 2710 W Court St Stokes Pub 1633 E Racine St The Back Bar 1901 Beloit Ave Three B's Tap 3333 N County E Time Out 101 E. Milwaukee Tremors 1802 Center Avenue Watering Hole 1700 N Washington St Wedges 2006 N Washington St Wiggys Saloon 9 N Parker Dr White Oak 429 N Parker Dr Willowdale Saloon 5905 W State Road 11 Wolf's Den 1704 Rockport Rd Zoxx 411 Club 411 West State St JEFFERSON Duck In Waddle Out 105 N Main St Herbie’s Bar 115 E Milwaukee St Lou’s Riverview N3536 County Road K Rox Sports Bar N3656 County Road K Rue’s Premiere Lanes 511 E Racine St MILTON Cove 319 Parkview Dr FACEBOOK.COM//WHATSUPXTRAMAGAZINE

608-741-0700 608-754-4098 608-305-0253 608-757-3020 608-362-9732 608-758-2323 608-752-3825 608-752-8886 608-754-9906 608-741-8833 608-754-9464 608-754-9750 608-755-1551 608-755-9828 608-758-1393 608-754-1919 608-752-9908 608-754-5667 608-752-6099 608-758-9050 608-756-5809 608-563-0410 608-756-1201 608-756-2131 608-754-5600 608-752-3704 608-754-3544 608-756-1221 608-754-5282 608-531-0012 608-754-2931 608-754-1998 608-741-0001 608-755-5880 608-531-1994 608-758-9911 608-752-4119 608-757-1444 608-754-9100 608-756-4070 608-755-3282 608-756-2929 608-754-6160 920-674-6144 920-674-3900 920-674-9980 920-674-6997 920-674-3082 608-868-7843

Gophers Junction Pub Klub Bub Northleaf Winery Red Zone Scoreboard Shooters Snuffy's Still Varsity Lanes MONROE Depot Bar Doyle’s Irish Pub Friendly Inn Old Smokey’s Papa Don’s ORFORDVILLE Bass Creek Knute’s Bar Stables Bar Tebo’s Pub WHITEWATER Brass Rail College Pub Denny K’s Bar Downstairs Bar Hawks Nest Salvos Coyote

233 N Janesville St 130 Merchant Row 46 Merchant Row 232 S Janesville St 403 West High St 100 Merchant Row 11601 N Lake St 3538 E County Rd 450 S John Paul Rd

608-868-3210 608-868-3596 608-868-4111 608-580-0575 608-868-9126 608-868-7870 608-868-5363 608-868-7884 608-868-6800

1315 17th St 1301 15th Ave 1335 17th St 1301 17th St 1901 10th Ave

608-325-4380 608-325-7777 608-325-9983 608-325-9915 608-325-4255

1303 S Murphy Rd 206 E Beloit St 717 Genesis Dr 206 E Beloit St

608-876-6631 608-879-2011 608-879-3000 608-879-2011

130 W Main St 202 W Whitewater 156 W Whitewater 204 W Main St 214 W Whitewater 132 W Center St

262-473-4038 262-473-4283 262-473-7898 262-473-7390 262-472-8816 262-472-0510

STATELINE

ROCKTON 3 Sheets Pub 122 W Main St Ye Olde Pub 114 W Main St ROCKFORD District Bar 205 W State St RBI’s 3870 N Perryville ROSCOE Fire House Pub 10670 Main St Jimez’s 11677 Main St Macktown Lounge 14549 N 2nd St Pee Wee’s Pub 9461 N 2nd St Posion Ivy Pub 5765 Elevator Rd Whifﬂetree Tavern 11347 Main St SOUTH BELOIT Baars Five Star Bar 128 S Bluff St Chippers Pub 210 Oak Grove Ave Domonicks Tavern 812 Ingersoll Pl Fins & Feathers 404 Gardner St Jaks on South Park 723 S Park Ave J & J Still 1720 Shirland Ave Royce Gordy 1805 Oak Leaf Dr Tad’s Sports Bar 1322 Gardner St Wheel Inn 529 Blackhawk 773.288-9400

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815-957-0489 815-624-6533 815-977-4524 815-877-5592 815-623-8389 815-623-5900 815-389-3691 815-282-9448 815-623-1480 815-623-8213 815-389-9947 815-389-2239 815-525-0017 815-475-0481 815-389-3618 815-389-3309 815-389-1494 815-389-9040 815-389-2840

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A FALL GET AWAY

Circle Tour Around Lake Michigan Looking for a fall vacation that won’t break the bank? Well don’t look much further, because we have a trip in mind that will keep you running circles; The Lake Michigan Circle Tour! We recently took this trip on a Harley, but without a doubt this trip would be equally beautiful by car. No trip north is complete without spending a day and night in one of the many beautiful cities in the North Woods of Wisconsin. We opted for Eagle River, the site of the first permanent Indian settlement in the Wisconsin Northwood's, located on the shores of Watersmeet Lake where the Wisconsin River and Chain 0' Lakes meet. Whether you are looking to catch a trophy-sized musky, spend a day strolling along one of Eagle River's charming streets donned with delightful shops, or treat your taste buds to a meal at an award winning restaurant, Eagle River offers something for everyone. After checking in for the night we made our way to the Riverstone Restaurant & Tavern in Eagle River's historic downtown. The restaurant has been selected by Wine Spectator Magazine for their Award of Excellence since 2004 as “One of the Best Restaurants in the World for Wine Lovers.” From artisan hearth breads, to squash ravioli with apple vodka sauce, and a finale of crème brule, we were thoroughly delighted with our dining experience. On return to our resort we stopped for a nightcap at a small tavern where we were welcomed by locals and put on a path to our next adventure, Bond Falls, one of those "best kept secret" spots on the Western Upper Peninsula that you want to make sure you do not miss. This beautiful water fall is located on the middle branch of the Ontonagon River near Paulding. Although it does not get the "press" of more famous U.P. water falls, Bond Falls has a large following of admirers and had even been part of a calendar listing the most scenic natural places in the world! After some hiking and photographing, we were off and driving along the shores of Lake Superior on our way to our final destination of the day, Mackinaw Island. “One of The Top 10 Islands in The World”, Mackinaw is an island on Lake Huron suspended in a forgotten, more innocent time. Mackinac Island offers breathtaking coastal views and private carriage tours where guides share the rich history of the island. One of the few places unscathed by motorized vehicles, it is a place to relax and get back to a simpler way of life. After a day and night of taking in this beautiful treasure and a stop to one of the many famous fudge shops for a souvenir, we were back on a short ferry ride and headed for dry land to continue our adventure. Next destination; Traverse City. The Traverse City area is the largest producer of tart cherries in the United States and features varied natural attractions, including freshwater beaches, vineyards, a National Lakeshore, downhill skiing areas, and numerous forests. It is a great spot to stay a night and with the many shops and local restaurants (everything in the downtown area must be locally owned) it has the feel of a small urban city. In 2012, the city was listed among the 10 best places to retire in the U.S. by U.S. News. The next morning our plan was to drive the remainder of the Michigan coast and land in Chicago for the night, but a wrong turn took us on a delightful detour along the coast of the small peninsula to the left of Traverse City. About a three hour drive through beautiful countryside, beach towns with clear blue waters as pristine as the Caribbean and vineyard after vineyard, it was a delay well worth experiencing. We finished our trip with a final night on beautiful Lake Geneva relaxing and taking in the view. This is a trip anyone living within an hour of the Great Lakes can easily make by car or motorcycle and with lodging and dining available to fit any budget, it’s an adventure to add to the top of your bucket list! By: Lisa Romack

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La La’s Love Letters

by Lauren Strec

Dear LaLa, My boyfriend and I are in our early 30s and have been in a serious relationship for two years. He is choosing not to go on a vacation with my family and I am incredibly hurt and angry. He says he can’t afford it, but the costs are minimal and it would only require him to take two days off. He’s just not getting how important family is to me and how much I want him to be a part of that. Is this something I should just get over and go without him, or is it a sign of bigger problems? California Carly

Dear Carly, Uhh… it sounds like he just wants to save money. If the vacay costs are low, can you pay for his end? When one is tight on cash, a few hundred dollars can make a big difference. Loosing a couple days worth of work can be worth a bill or two. Even if you force him to go on this trip, he’s not going to be able to enjoy himself if he’s pinching pennies, or worried about the finances when he gets back. So, the question is, why are you not satisfied with his answer? Why are you getting so hurt, even with a legit excuse? Dear LaLa, I have been dating a girl for about six months now and she has two small children ages 2 and 6. I really care for her although her parenting skills (or lack thereof) are really taking a toll on my patience. When I try to talk to her about it she just shuts me down and says that I only feel that way because they are not my own. They aren't bad kids, she just needs to set some boundaries. Am I in a losing battle here? Impatient Peter Dear Impatient, Generally, people are not open to taking advice on how to live their lives, even if that advice is completely beneficial and efficient. No one wants to hear that they are doing something “wrong.” But in this scenario, her lack of action is also affecting your life, and even your view on her. She obviously has communication issues, or else she would have control of her kids. You’re not in a losing battle, but you are going to have to change your approach. First, hit up the thesaurus to find some strong, replacement words for anything that may sound harsh or negative. Then begin your conversation by straightforwardly asking if you could have her full attention and open mind, because you have a topic that is very important to you. Ask this in the same way that you would ask, “Hey, can you do me a favor?” Go on to explain your perspective, and when she interrupts, reiterate that you would appreciate her attention. If she can’t get through the convo like an adult, then she may be on the same mental level as her children.

Lauren is a spokesmodel for tv, radio, live events, blogging and social media. Connect at Facebook. com/LaurenStrec for tidbits, news and fun photos

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MONDAYS 5pm -10pm

2 4 1 BURGERS WEDNESDAYS 5pm - 10pm

STEAK FRY $9.95 Sat Sept 7th (9pm - 1am)

Live Music by Euphoria (formerly Exmoor)

Packer Gameday Special $1.50 Pints Bucket Specials Sign up to WIN PRIZES

Sat Sept 21st (8:30pm - 12:30am)

LIVE DJ

Sun Sept 29th (1:30pm)

Fundraiser Beneﬁtting Literacy Council 130 Merchant Row Milton 608-868-3596 773.288-9400

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LIVE

MUSIC

Sunday, September 1

Fri 9-13 (cont)

Killer Cars (2:00pm-6:00pm) Dockside Bar & Grill 723 E Ellendale Rd, Edgerton

Killer Cars (8:00pm-1:00am) Time Out Pub & Eatery 101 E Milwaukee St, Janesville

Rainbow Bridge (4:00pm-7:30pm) Walworth County Fair 411 East Court St, Elkhorn Tuesday, September 3 Primer 55 (9:00pm-2:00am) The Back Bar 1901 Beloit Ave (Hwy G), Janesville Thursday, September 4 Roxtar & Featured Local Bands (9pm-2am) The Back Bar 1901 Beloit Ave (Hwy G), Janesville Friday, September 6 JVL Mobile Jocks (9:00pm - 1:00am) Wiggy's Saloon 9 N Parker Drive, Janesville Saturday, September 7 Victorian Halls, Terra Rising, Roxtar (9:00pm-2:00am) The Back Bar 1901 Beloit Ave (Hwy G), Janesville Euphoria (9:00pm-1:00pm) Junction Pub 130 Merchant Row, Milton Killer Cars (9:00pm-1:00am) Sneakers Sports Bar & Grill 1221 Woodman Road, Janesville, WI

Saturday, September 14

HHFFRRRGGH’S Bucky Bash

OUTDOOR TAILGATE

Chimaira & Beyond Threshold (9pm-2am) The Back Bar 1901 Beloit Ave (Hwy G), Janesville

Rainbow Bridge (8:00pm-12:00am) Varsity Lanes 450 S John Paul Rd, Milton Thursday, September 19 Roxtar & Featured Local Bands (9pm-2am) The Back Bar 1901 Beloit Ave (Hwy G), Janesville Friday, September 20 Stardog Champion (9:00pm-2:00am) The Back Bar 1901 Beloit Ave (Hwy G), Janesville

JVL Mobile Jocks (9:00pm-1:00am) Wiggy's Saloon 9 N Parker Drive, Janesville

Thursday, September 12

Saturday, September 21 Fists Of Rage, Devils In Angels & Sum Of Souls (9:00pm-2:00am) The Back Bar 1901 Beloit Ave (Hwy G), Janesville

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Thursday, September 26 Roxtar & Featured Local Bands (9pm-2am) The Back Bar 1901 Beloit Ave (Hwy G), Janesville

Jamie Campbell & The Redneck Romeos (9:00pm-11:00pm) Sara's Pub 1567 Madison Rd, Beloit

Steve Doiel (7:00pm-10:00pm) O'Riley and Conway’s Irish Pub 214 N Milwaukee St, Janesville

Decades Rock Band (8:00pm-12:00am) Dockside Bar & Grill 723 E Ellendale Rd, Edgerton

The Blue Olives (3:00pm-7:00pm) Dockside Bar and Grill 723 E Ellendale Rd, Edgerton

Rainbow Bridge (9:30pm-1am) Tremors Bar and Grill 1802 Center Avenue, Janesville

Tuesday, September 10

Friday, September 13

Sunday, September 22

A Stateline Affair (1:00pm-3:00pm) Chris Kohn & The Two Ton Heavy Thing (2:00pm-6:00pm) County Line (6:00pm-10:00pm) HHFFRRRGGH 731 S Wuthering Hills Dr, Janesville

Lou Dog (8:00pm-12:00am) Dockside Bar and Grill 723 E Ellendale Rd, Edgerton

Roxtar & Featured Local Bands (9pm-2am) The Back Bar 1901 Beloit Ave (Hwy G), Janesville

1221 Woodman Road, Janesville

Live DJ (8:30pm-12:30pm) Junction Pub 130 Merchant Row, Milton Blue Olives (9:00pm-1:00am) Sneakers Sports Bar & Grill

Friday, September 27

Saturday, September 28

Midlife Crisis (8:00pm-12:00am) Dockside Bar and Grill 723 E Ellendale Rd, Edgerton Rainbow Bridge (9:30pm-1:00am) Tremors Bar and Grill 1802 Center Avenue, Janesville Saturday, October 5 Rainbow Bridge (9:00pm-1:00am) Quaker Steak & Lube 3111 Wellington Pl, Janesville Old School (9:00pm-1:00am) Sneakers Sports Bar & Grill 1221 Woodman Road, Janesville Sunday, October 13

4th Annual Car, Truck & Bike Show (9:00am-3:00pm) Rain or Shine The Back Bar 1901 Beloit Ave (Hwy G), Janesville Saturday, October 19 Dope, Beyond Threshold & Leaving Eden (9:00pm-2:00am) The Back Bar 1901 Beloit Ave (Hwy G), Janesville Wednesday, October 23 Kill Devil Hill & Bobaﬂex (9:00pm-2:00am) The Back Bar 1901 Beloit Ave (Hwy G), Janesville WWW.WHATSUPXTRA.COM

Karaoke

Thursday

Wednesday

2 Brothers 116 W Fulton, Edgerton

Bobbleheads Sports Bar & Grill (9pm-2am) 2709 South Hwy 51 (at Hwy 11 W Avalon Road), Janesville

Friday

Thursday

Alfresco 3900 Milton Ave

Wiggy's Saloon - 8:00pm - 12:00pm 9 N Parker Dr, Janesville

Dockside Bar and Grill 10:00pm - 2:00am 723 E Ellendale Rd, Edgerton

Dockside Bar and Grill - 7pm-10pm 723 E Ellendale Rd, Edgerton

MO’s TAASBAG Sports Bar & Grill 2339 Milton Ave, Janesville 9:00pm - 2:30am

Friday

2 Brothers 116 W Fulton, Edgerton

BOXCARS Pub & Grub -9:00pm - 1:00am 108 Allen St, Clinton

Saturday

Caddy Shack & Gophers Bar & Grill 233 N Janesville St, Milton 9/6 & 9/20 9:00pm - 1:00am

Dockside Bar and Grill 10:00pm - 2:00am 723 E Ellendale Rd, Edgerton MO’s TAASBAG Sports Bar & Grill 9:00pm - 2:30am 2339 Milton Ave, Janesville

Saturday

BOXCARS Pub & Grub 9:00pm - 1:00am 108 Allen St, Clinton

2 Brothers 116 W Fulton, Edgerton Riley’s Sports Bar & Grill (9:00pm-2:00am) 209 W Milwaukee St, Janesville

open jam Every Wednesday (4:00pm-8:00pm) Hammy’s Roadside Bar 2131 Center Ave, Janesville

Every Wednesday (8:00pm-12:00am) Tremors Bar and Grill 1802 Center Ave, Janesville

Every Thursday (6:00pm-10:00pm) Josh Henry, Nathan Traynor, Zachary Clowes, Zach Michaels playing Bucky Tailgate Bash at HHFFRRRGGH’s on Saturday 9/14 to see them play from 1-3pm.

Stables Bar & Grill 717 Genisis Dr, Orfordville

Send us your Live Music, Karaoke, Trivia, Pool Tournaments, Open Mic, Charity Events or any other entertainment... Call 773.288.9400 FACEBOOK.COM//WHATSUPXTRAMAGAZINE

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SEPTEMBER HOROSCOPE ARIES: Ain't life grand? The weather's good, your work is cruising along, and the love of your life returns your affections. It's scary. Be prepared for anything. TAURUS: Your job can be like a road trip, and similar cautions apply. Don't take shortcuts or dangerous detours. Address situations that arise and don't speed. GEMINI: When autumn leaves begin to fall, Mother Nature is making a change. Maybe it's time for you to do the same. Want to change an attitude, a goal, or a schedule? CANCER: Soon there will be an opportunity to make a presentation or explain an idea. You could make a powerful impression on co-workers. Your secret is conﬁdence. LEO: The Labor Day weekend is the perfect opportunity for a short trip. Too late to make complicated arrangements? Sometimes it's better to just get in the car and go...safely. VIRGO: Finding the right partner can be less important than being the right partner. Always assume that your loved ones are doing their best, though it may not seem so.

LIBRA: Some say we're in a risk-averse culture. People don't like to take a chance. But many leaders have to and you can do it to. Don't hesitate to speak out with ideas. SCORPIO: A change is coming to your work area, and right now it's difficult to tell whether it will be in your favor. Give it time. Wait before coming to any conclusions. SAGITTARIUS: An unexpected and expensive situation has come up. But you have the mental energy to handle it. Face it head on, though it will take time to finish it off. CAPRICORN: Big projects require big efforts, but maybe the best plan you should have now is to get more sleep. Once you're bright and energetic, tackle your projects. AQUARIUS: Insecurity is raising its nasty head in areas of your life and work. Step back now and remember who you are and what you can do. Move confidently forward. PISCES: If you feel uncomfortable with someone's selfexpression, detach. You can't control or change this person, but you can control your reaction to what they say.

SPORTS RULINGS

NFL Emphasizes

PGA Tour Adopts the "The Trent Richardson Rule" Anchoring Ban As Vice-President of ofﬁciating, Dean Blandino recently showed a video to 24 top draft picks. His objective was to illustrate why leading with the crown of the helmet has been outlawed. He also called the rule by its name, The Trent Richardson Rule. That devastating hit was the reason why the rule change took place. The NFL's competition committee showed owners last season to convince them that the rule was necessary for player safety. Players agree. No NFL player wants to sustain a head or spinal injury that will change their life forever. 26 UP XTRA 26 WHATS WHATS UP XTRA

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The PGA Tour has accepted the ban on anchored strokes handed down by the golf's governing bodies, the U.S. Golf Association and the Royal and Ancient. The Tour generally adopts the USGA as golf's rule-maker. Players Tim Clark, Carl Petersen and Adam Scott have been exploring options with attorney Harry Manion of Boston. The USGA and R&A announced the proposed ban in November of 2012. Rule 14-1b makes it illegal for players to attach the end of a club to their body while making a stroke. The ban will go into effect on January 1, 2016, when the next Rules of Golf are ofﬁcially published. Tour Commissioner Tim Finchem said they wanted one rule for all professional competitions worldwide.

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773.213.4597 WWW.WHATSUPXTRA.COM

UPCOMING SPECIAL EVENTS: TUES SEPT 3

PRIMER 55 FRI SEPT 20

STARDOG CHAMPION SAT SEPT 28

CHIMAIRA 1901 Beloit Ave (Hwy G) Janesville

608-741-0001 LOCAL, REGIONAL AND NATIONAL ACTS EVERY THURSDAY, FRIDAY & SATURDAY DOORS OPEN AT 7PM Now serving food from our new kitchen including Burgers, Dogs, Brats, Wings, Egg Rolls, Fries, Onion Rings, Nachos & More.

SAT OCT 19

DOPE WED OCT 23

KILL DEVIL HILL & BOBAFLEX EVERY THURSDAY IS LOCAL STAGE NIGHT Sponsored by 105.9 THE HOG – No Cover

SUN OCT 13 4TH ANNUAL CAR SHOW

POOL – DARTS – GAMES – BUZZTIME TRIVIA PRIVATE BANQUET ROOM FOR UP TO 200

Join us on September 14th for our BIG 10th Year Party 2pm

2709 S. Hwy 51 FACEBOOK.COM//WHATSUPXTRAMAGAZINE

www.bobbleheadsbar.com 773.288-9400

608-752-8910

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IN C O C A P LU u G td P R D & re o SU IZ E B at or LE E S ee fo M S r r ac & G P h ar at in de io e ns s

XER Game

You haven’t boxed a Boxer till you’ve boxed...

THE GLOVE

For Fun For Tournaments

Bars and Event Coordinators call 773.213.4597

to order the Boxer at no cost & learn more about proﬁt opportunities

New Machines: prizes paid out through the machine for top scores, wheel of fun,. and more...

Jimmy Buffett’s Songs from St. Somewhere Tour to Alpine Valley! with Jackson Browne opening the concert! Escorted by Z Travel Tours

Jimmy Buffett's Margaritaville. A state of mind is now a state of being. But how did Margaritaville come into a "state of being?" Better yet, how did Margaritaville become a "state of mind?" How could some guy armed only with writers instruments; a pen and a legal pad, create all that is "Margaritaville?" The answer is simple: Imagination. On Saturday, August 24th Jimmy along with thousands of his “Parrotheads” descended upon Alpine Valley Music Theatre to celebrate their passion for music and living. Z Travel tours packed busses with locals fans donned in colorful clothing, hats and beads that departed from locations all over Rock County with one mission in mind; to ﬁnd their “5 o’clock somewhere!” Don’t worry if you missed it this year, we will make sure to save you a spot on next year’s bus!

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Sunday Funday Buck Beers and Buck Burgers

happy hour daily 4 - 6pm

2 for 1 Domestic Beer and Rail Drinks - 1/2 Price Appetizers

TUESDAY

2-4-1 BURGERS BASKETS w/ Homemade Chips

like us on facebook for specials

INDOOR BAGS - CALL FOR BAND INFO 101 E Milwaukee St.

Janesville

608-531-1994

BOOK REVIEW

Rummy’s Rules: Life, Success, Dreams Throughout his distinguished career as a naval aviator, a U.S. Congressman, a top aide to four American presidents, a high-level diplomat, a CEO of two Fortune 500 companies and the only twice-serving Secretary of Defense in American history, Donald Rumsfeld has collected many life lessons. He has wrapped them up as a combined leadership manual and memoir. He ﬁrst kept his nuggets of wisdom in a ﬁle folder, then in an informal manual typed up at the request of President Richard Nixon, and then in something of a manuscript read by presidents, governors, diplomats and members of Congress. As time went on, he continued to work on his collection and added new rules using things he had heard, read, or observed. For his book, he selected his most useful rules, and added anecdotes from his long and varied career, according to an amazon. com review. At amazon.com, they say the book provides unprecedented insight into leadership, management, strategy and life. Inc reviewer Adam Sternbergh has expressed that he believes parts of the book are something of a bragging session, beginning with such phrases as, "When I was ..." Sternbergh also says, "Rumsfeld is a competent storyteller and personable companion, the kind of guy you wouldn't mind sitting next to you on a plane." For Sternbergh, the real pleasure in the book comes when considering what Rumsfeld says, how he says it and what he chooses not to say at all.

Rumsfeld's Rules: Leadership Lessons in Business, Politics, War and Life. By Donald Rumsfeld, Broadside Books. FACEBOOK.COM//WHATSUPXTRAMAGAZINE

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THE LIGHTER SIDE

Longevity Questions

After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, my new doctor said I was doing "fairly well" for my age. A little concerned, I asked him, "Do you think I'll live to be 80?"

Then he asked, "Do you smoke tobacco or drink beer or wine? Do you eat steaks and barbecued ribs? Do you spend time in the sun playing golf, sailing, or bicycling?" I said no to all. He looked at me and asked, "Then why do you want to live to be 80?"

Scared

One evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?" The mother smiled. "I can't dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room." The little boy replied with a shaking voice, "The big sissy."

Growing Old Together

An old couple had been married for over 50 years. One morning they were sitting at the breakfast table when the wife said to her beloved husband, “Just think, ﬁfty years ago we were sitting at this same breakfast table together.”

Are You Smarter Than CHESTER “The Sock Monkey”?

“Friends” Trivia Quiz

1. Which of the actors on "Friends" unfortunately decides to whiten his teeth before going out on a first date with a girl he's had a crush on for some time? a) Gunther b) Joey c) Ross d) Chandler 2. When Rachel, Chandler and Ross are trying to carry Ross's new lounge up a flight of stairs that change direction half way, what is the word that Ross keeps shouting out to the other two? a) "Swing!" b) "Veer!" c) "Pivot!" d) "Turn!" 3. This laughter evoking episode in season five involves Ross following Joey's advice, following his purchase of a new pair of trousers to wear out on a date. What sort of pants were they? a) Stretch jeans b) Leotards c) Knickerbockers d) Leather pants 4. Season three presents a funny episode in which, to his horror, Chandler's male boss develops a habit of doing what? a) Slapping Chandler on the back of the head b) Giving Chandler bear hugs c) Kissing Chandler on the cheek d) Slapping Chandler on the backside 5. Season four gives us an episode where all the friends politely listen to Ross's playing on the keyboard, a skill he's dreadful at. What does he call his musical creations? a) Symphonies b) Wordless sound poems c) Concertos d) Ross's Output 6. In season 6, episode 7, Rachel tries to avoid being seen with Phoebe during which form of physical exercise in Central Park? a) Weightlifting b) Trampolining c) Bike riding d) Jogging 7. At the beginning of the last season, what does Ross admire so much about Monica that he decides to get one of his own? a) Spray on tattoo b) Spray on tan c) Spray on hair color d) Spray on t-shirt 8. Season 9 sees the friends traveling to Barbados to listen to Ross give a speech. What happens to Monica's hair here? a) It is accidentally dyed orange b) It begins to fall out c) She has a shocking haircut d) It frizzes up like a giant afro in the humidity 9. After Joey has moved out of Chandler's apartment in season two, Chandler takes in a new room mate who turns out to be rather peculiar. What is his name? a) Mikey b) Tommy c) Eddie d) Robbie 10. In the last season, Monica and Rachel decide to throw a bachelorette party for Phoebe before her wedding. At the last minute they hire a male stripper. Which unlikely looking actor plays him? a) Arnold Schwarzenegger b) Danny DeVito c) Donald Duck d) Sylvester Stallone

“I know,” replied the old man. “We were probably sitting here naked as a jaybird, too!” “Well,” Granny snickered. “Let's shake it up and relive some old times.” Where upon, the two stripped to the buff and sat back down at the table.

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6. Jogging 7. Spray on tan 8. It frizzes up like a giant afro in the humidity 9. Eddie 10. Danny DeVito

“I wouldn't be surprised,” replied Gramps. “One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal!”

Answers

1. Ross 2. “Pivot” 3. Leather pants 4. Slapping Chandler on the backside 5. Wordless sound poems

“You know, honey,” the little old lady breathlessly replied, “My nipples are as hot for you today as they were ﬁfty years ago.”

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