Whats Up Xtra Southwest October 2013 by Lisa Romack

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Whats Up tra OCTOBER 2013 FREE

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SOUTH WEST

HAPPY HALLOWEEN Where are you going tonight?

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We would like to thank all the readers of What’s Up Xtra Magazine for your continued support. The magazine was started over 8 years ago as a small local publication in Chicago and has grown throughout the area, surrounding suburbs , and now into Southern Wisconsin to be one of the most recognized comprehensive local bar directories of its kind. Our “grass root marketing” strategy has proven an effective tool for our publication and is designed to be used as a tool for our readers to plan where they will be spending their afternoons, evenings, and hard earned dollars. Magazines have maintained popularity with readers through the years and have proven that magazine advertising and readership will stand the test of time. We encourage our readers to support your communities and to patronize your local businesses!

TABLE OF CONTENTS 11 PATIOS AND BEER GARDENS 12 ASK THE WINO

16 OUT AND ABOUT PHOTOS x

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CHICAGO

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JUNE 2012 BEER GARDENS WHAT’S UP THIS MONTH

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Lisa romack Sales Director Robert Christiansen Column Writer

17 Sudoku and crossword puzzle 19 bartender of the month 20 horoscope

jon obert editor

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21 ALL MIXED UP 22 are you smarter than chester 23 la las love letters

Check us out online - Read the magazine, Photos & More... www.whatsupxtra.com

Front page photo taken at Hall of Fame in Lyons The name What’s Up Xtra Magazine is a registered trade name, and use of this name is strictly prohibited. The contents of this publication are copyrighted What’s Up Xtra Chicago Magazine -2012 We encourage our readers to write their stories, send photos, and make comments. All submissions sent to us by phone, email, fax, or handwritten become the property of What’s Up Xtra Chicago Magazine.

keith romack publisher

8 news of interest

14 to do in september

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OUR ST A FF

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24 BOOK REVIEW 25 lake MI circle tour 26 music review 28 tales from the chris

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ted phillips photographer Joliet Dave Rodriguez Contributing writer lauren strec contributing writer

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Friday & Saturday $5 Premium Margarita’s

Monday $5 Pizza & $1 Drafts

Tuesday

$2.50 Imports

Wednesday

1-2-3 Night 1-2Watch Any & All NFL Games Here!!! Bears Games

Free Homemade Buffet during every game 4201 W. 55TH ST

CHICAGO

The Rude Commuter After a tiring day, a commuter settled down in his seat and closed his eyes. As the train rolled out of the station, the young woman sitting next to him pulled out her cell phone and started talking in a loud voice: "Hi sweetheart. It’s Sue. I’m on the train". "Yes, I know it’s the six thirty and not the four thirty, but I had a long meeting". "No, honey, not with that Kevin from the accounting ofﬁce. It was with the boss”. “No sweetheart, you’re the only one in my life”. “Yes, I’m sure, cross my heart!"

$1 Drafts

$2 Domestic Bottles $3 Well Drinks

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Thursday $12 Buckets

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I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do. Edward Everett Hale, editor and author

Fifteen minutes later, she was still talking loudly. When the man sitting next to her had enough, he leaned over and said into the phone, "Sue, hang up the phone and come back to bed."

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Try our Tavern Chicken LIVE MUSIC Large Parties Welcome

m a 2 o t m a 1 ly 1 i a D Open

SUNDAY BREAKFAST BUFFET $10 / 10AM - 1PM

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News & Stuff

'Oracle Of Omaha' Tells His Investment Strategy Corralled during a break at Berkshire Hathaway's annual meeting, CEO Warren Buffett said, "If investors try to time their purchases according to economic forecasts ... they'll make a lot of money for their brokers, but not much for themselves." He's said it before and now says it again: "Buy what you know." He doesn't buy automobile stocks because he doesn't know what will be popular in ﬁve years. He's almost 100 percent conﬁdent about the future of Burlington Northern railroad and insurer Geico, which are both Berkshire properties. "Invest in businesses, not stocks." He says you should consider any stock investment as if you were buying the entire company.

For The Olympics Marijuana Off List Of Banned Substances\ Olympic athletes can now smoke marijuana, but not on game day. The drug has been removed from the World Anti-Doping Agency's list of banned substances. WADA oversees Olympic drug testing worldwide. WADA has raised the allowable threshold for a positive test. The new level is meant to catch athletes who smoke only during the period of competition. It isn't prohibited outside that period. Authorities say that in the past, many cases of use did not involve game or event-day competition. Players are tested on the day of the event. WADA bans substances based on any or all of three criteria: Performance enhancement, danger to an athlete's health, and violation of the spirit of the sport. Marijuana is now legal in Canada and 16 U.S. states, suggesting that attitudes toward the drug are changing.

New Building In China Is The Largest In The World Chengdu's New Century Global Center is the world's largest freestanding building. It opened earlier this year. CNN reports that the building has 18.9 million square feet of floor space. The building will be capable of housing 20 Sydney Opera houses. It's almost three times the size of the Pentagon in Washington, D.C. The Global Center has an ocean theme and will house a huge artificial beach with a seafront promenade and an artificial sun. It will also be home to offices, theaters, hotels, shopping malls, and even a fake Mediterranean village. "This is an ocean city built by man," says guide Liu Xun. There are 1,000 rooms in the hotel and all have seaside views. The artificial sun shines 24 hours a day. The system uses specialized lighting technology that heats the building as well as illuminates it.

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Live Music Wednesdays New Orleans Beau and the Big Easy informal jazz, blues and motown show - Oct 2nd, 16th & 30th

Brad Jackson & Shades of Country Classic Country - Oct 9th and 23rd

N O

2357 Plainﬁeld Crest Hill 815-725-2252

C O V E R

FREE POOL EVERY WEDNESDAY

DAILY SPECIALS

Sun: Mon: Tue: Wed: Thu: Fri:

$4 Bloody Marys & $5 Domestic Pitchers $1 Domestic Drafts and .50 Cent Wings $3 U Call It $3 Long Islands - FREE POOL $3 Jack Daniels Drinks and $3 Bombs $5 Domestic Pitchers and $3 Rum Chata Shots Sat: $4 Patron Shots and $3 UV Drinks Sunday thru Thursday $10.00 Domestic Buckets (5 bottles)

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Fri Oct

Sat Oct

5 KARAOKE

5 Guys Named Moe

It’s always a party when the “Guys” are here. Nyuck nyuck.

theme party with our insane softball team - everyone welcome

Off the Record

Fri Oct

Sat Oct

12 Dicks and Jane

Fri Oct

18 Honky Tonk Heroes

Sat Oct

Taillight Guarantee

Moving Targets

Fri Oct

Timeless Rock and Roll at its best

Rock and Blues Show BB King to ZZ Top

Country Rock and Southern Roll

Sat Oct

Rock!!

Five Decades of Rock and Roll

HALLOWEEN PARTY

Strung Out

Cello & Violin in a Rock Band Costume Contest with prizes $100 for Best / $50 Scariest / $50 Skankiest

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The Paint Job

A young blond girl in her late teens, wanting to earn some extra money for the summer, decided to hire herself out as a "handy woman" and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood.

To be a great champion you must believe you are the best. If you're not, pretend you are. Muhammad Ali, heavy weight boxing champion of the world

She went to the front door of the ﬁrst house and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do, "Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint the porch" he said. "How much will you charge me?" Delighted, the girl quickly responded, “How about $50?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and brushes and everything she would need were in the garage. The man’s wife, hearing the conversation, said to her husband, "Does she realize that our porch goes ALL the way around the house?" "That’s a bit cynical, isn’t it?" he responded. The wife replied, "You’re right. I guess I’m starting to believe all those dumb blonde jokes." A few hours later the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You’re ﬁnished already??" the startled husband asked. "Yes," the blonde replied, "and I even had paint left over so I gave it two coats." Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50 and handed it to her along with a $10 tip. "Thank you," the blonde said, "And, by the way, it’s not a Porch, it’s a Lexus." FACEBOOK.COM/WHATSUPXTRAMAGAZINE

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The Silent Treatment

Ask The Wino… Taking questions

WINO: Roger Hasters AGE: Thinks he’s 51 DISLIKES: Donuts more than a week old and empty purses. LIKES: Going up the escalators the wrong way at rush hour. A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:0 0 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and lose), he wrote on a piece of paper, “Please wake me at 5:00 AM.” He left it where he knew she would find it the next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he missed his flight Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn’t wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.

Karen: A student asks: Can I interview you for my class studies on the rich and the poor please. Like how did you get there. I mean, wouldn’t you rather be rich? WINO: I once dropped my drawers for a quarter. For you I’d let you pull on my ﬁnger for free, I get my kicks that way. Bring the donuts and a squeegee and you can ask me anything.

The paper said, “It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.”

WANTED: PHOTOGRAPHERS CALL 773-288-9400

Malcolm: An environmental Studies Analyst asks: What do you think of global warming? WINO: Is that like when a lot of people fart in the lake at the same time. Guess I am all for it, keeps the water warm and stops nasty smells on the beach. Hey have you ever seen them broads playing volley ball on the beach. When they fart I’m right up in there!! Hey pull on my finger!! Terri: A fashion consultant asks: I advise people on dress sense for dinner parties and business meetings etc. Can I give you a few pointers on how to look your best? WINO: Slap my ass and call me Sally I haven’t changed clothes in over a year and no one ever complains. Except that ticket collector on the train. He once told me I smelt like I had crotch rot. Is it suppose to burn when I pee? Brian: A fitness instructor asks: Are you looking forward to Halloween, I mean you look pretty scary dude...ha ha. WINO: I once high jacked a plastic pumpkin that I thought was full of candy. Since I don’t have electicity I was surprised to find out that it was the dogs shit bag. I rinsed my hands off in the sewer and kept moving.

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MONDAY Kitchen Hours 11am to $1.75 Domestic Pints 8pm Monday to Saturday with daily food TUESDAY specials $2 U Call Its WEDNESDAY FREE FOOD $2.25 Domestic Bottles DURING ALL BEARS GAMES THURSDAY “Like” us on Facebook $12 Domestic Buckets 9247 S Cicero Ave Oak Lawn (708) 636-1555 FRIDAY $1.75 MGD & PBR Pints SATURDAY $3 Premium Pints & Bottles SUNDAY $4 Bloody Marys & $12 Domestic Buckets

Video Gaming Open @ 7am

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DAILY SPECIALS

MON:

$2 DOMESTIC BOTTLES

TUE:

$10 DOMESTIC BUCKETS

WED:

$10 DOMESTIC BUCKETS

THU:

$2 U Call It (no top shelf)

FRI:

$3 BOMBS

SAT:

$3 IMPORT PINTS & BOTTLES

SUN:

$4 BLOODY MARYS

EVERYDAY $2.50 DOMESTIC BOTTLES WATCH ALL FOOTBALL & HOCKEY ACTION ON OUR 10 FLAT SCREEN TV’S

OAK LAWN

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LIVE MUSIC Wednesday, October 2

Thursday, October 10

Wednesday, October 16

Friday, October 11

New Orleans Beau & The Big Eazy Marty’s Place 2357 Plainﬁeld Rd, Crest Hill

Ill Nino MoJoes 22 W. Cass St, Joliet

Friday, October 4

Dot Dot Dot & Rendition Gone Country @ 115 Bourbon Street

Bella Cain & Maggie Speaks 115 Bourbon Street

Rough Boyzz & Sonic Surge Bada Brew 802 N Theodore St, Crest Hill

Mob Rules (Black Sabbath), JNH B & Mojo Window (Doors Tribute) Bada Brew 802 N Theodore St, Crest Hill

Gina Glocksen Band JW Hollsteins

Aprils Reign JW Hollsteins

Off the Record Marty’s Place 2357 Plainﬁeld Rd, Crest Hill

5 Guys Named Moe Marty’s Place 2357 Plainﬁeld Rd, Crest Hill

Too White Crew Zante Lounge 8888 W 159th St, Orland Park

Goldhouse MoJoes 22 W. Cass St, Joliet

Saturday, October 12 Hello Nuvo & Bad Medicine 115 Bourbon Street

Hairbangers Ball Zante Lounge 8888 W 159th St, Orland Park

Catapult The Propoganda, Orion Nine, Slam-Horse, Kadooge, Hot Dang & Spinning Red Bada Brew 802 N Theodore St, Crest Hill

Saturday, October 5 Coyote Riot & ArrA 115 Bourbon Street The Bunny & The Bear, The Paramedic, Evelynn, To Trust A Liar & Hazum (5:30pm-10pm)

Kingsfoil @ MoJoes

Friday, October 18 Under The Inﬂuence, Talon, Riddlehouse & Rock Stetson Bada Brew 802 N Theodore St, Crest Hill

Naked Covers Acoustic Duo Bobby Mc Gee’s 1200 Cedarwood Dr, Crest Hill Dr. Beeper JW Hollsteins Lovehammers MoJoes 22 W. Cass St, Joliet

Senses Fail MoJoes 22 W. Cass St, Joliet JailBreak Chicago & Lovedrive Q Bar and Grill Darien

Sunday, October 6 Soulﬂy MoJoes 22 W. Cass St, Joliet

Sunday, October 13

Wednesday, October 9 Brad Jackson & Shades of Country Marty’s Place 2357 Plainﬁeld Rd, Crest Hill

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Eye Empire MoJoes22 W. Cass St, Joliet

HALLOWEEN MASSACRE Plague Of Locust-NYC, Whut? X-Nassau Chainsaw, ft WasteLanD, WHUT?, Knifed at Gunpoint, No Regrets, Ugly Bones

Bada Brew

802 N Theodore St, Crest Hill HALLOWEEN SHOWCASE Etlin Zylin, Prison City Riot, Skindance, Arkansas Dogjaw, Element Control, Webbly Greens, Zac Alberico, Authority Jan, Song Of Siren & Andrew Wolverton

Bobby Mc Gee’s

Honky Tonk Heroesl Marty’s Place 2357 Plainﬁeld Rd, Crest Hill

1200 Cedarwood Dr, Crest Hill

Final Say Zante Lounge 8888 W 159th St, Orland Park

2357 Plainﬁeld Rd, Crest Hill

Saturday, October 19

Lucky Bobby Mc Gee’s 1200 Cedarwood Dr, Crest Hill Taillight Guarantee Marty’s Place 2357 Plainﬁeld Rd, Crest Hill

20 Foot Forehead, The Power Vibe, Black Sunshine & Kreutzer Sonata, The Kings Habit Of Force Rising, Riddle House, The Bada Brew Neighbors,All The Dim Stars, 802 N Theodore St, Crest Hill Authority Jan & Alec Otter Jones Sunday, October 20 Bobby Mc Gee’s Arbor Creek, Collen Wild, Red1200 Cedarwood Dr, Crest Hill tones, Johnny Coax & Friends Bloody Mary, Indigo Fera & 4 JW Hollsteins Rifs Dicks and Jane Bada Brew Marty’s Place 802 N Theodore St, Crest Hill 2357 Plainﬁeld Rd, Crest Hill

Suicide Bunnies & Silent Truth (10:30pm-1:30pm) Bada Brew 802 N Theodore St, Crest Hill

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Thursday, October 17

Saturday, October 26

Friday, October 25

HALLOWEEN MASSACRE 10/25 , 10/26, & 10/31 An Undying Allegiance, Orinoco, Bleed For The Fallen & I Of Anubis @ Bada Brew 802 N Theodore St, Crest Hill Moving Targets Marty’s Place 2357 Plainﬁeld Rd, Crest Hill Mike & Joe Zante Lounge 8888 W 159th St, Orland Park

Strung Out Marty’s Place

Sunday, October 27 All Female Metal/Rock Show Between The Years Of Silence, Kill The Robots Dead, Parallels & Lies

Bada Brew - Crest Hill

Monday, October 28

Legions Of Raum, Blood Tribe & United By Hate Bada Brew -Crest Hill

Wednesday, October 30 New Orleans Beau & The Big Eazy Marty’s Place 2357 Plainﬁeld Rd, Crest Hill

Thursday, October 31 HALLOWEEN MASSACRE I Hate People, A Silent Truth, Villainous Grinn & Catapult The Propaganda Bada Brew 802 N Theodore St, Crest Hill

HAPPY HALLOWEEN PARTIES ON SAT OCT 26 & THUR OCT 31 WWW.WHATSUPXTRA.COM

UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT

o, n

802-804 Theodore St Crest Hill 815-726-3401 Facebook: www.facebook.com/BadaBrew Booking Information: Contact George 708-203-3809 / Sean 708-945-2282 / email: tsagaris@comcast.net

DAILY SPECIALS

Sun: Free Pool, $3 Bloody Mary, $1.50 Domestic Pints, $4 Call Mixed Drinks

Mon: Free Pool, $2 Corona, Dosxx, Modelo; $3 Patron, $3 Three Floyds Beer - NFL Gametime FREE BBQ

w e,

Tues: Free Pool, $2 Domestic Bottles, $4 Tequila youcall-its, $3 Absolute Mixed Drinks & $0.25 Jumbo Hot Wings Wed: Free Pool, $1 Domestic Bottles, $2 well mixed, $4 bombs & $1 Tacos METAL WEDNESDAY w/ DJ Ricky Lancaster Thu: Free Pool, $2 Domestic bottles, $2 Any Jim Beam Shot, $2 Well Mixers & $2 Burgers KARAOKE w/ DJ KEVIN

Fri: $5 Domestic pitchers, $4 bombs, $2.50 Becks & $3 Patty Melts Sat: $12 Domestic buckets , $4 Barcardi Mixers, $3 Witches Brew Shots & $0.50 Mini Burgers

ill

HILL T S RE

The Hottest Place to party in the Joliet area is @ Bobby McGees! Bobby McGee's hosts the area's most energetic parties! So come one, come all and experience a true South Side Party Pub - at Bobby McGees at 1200 Cedarwood, Crest Hill 815-741-4318 FACEBOOK.COM/WHATSUPXTRAMAGAZINE

Sun: Mon: Tue: Wed: Thur: Fri: Sat:

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w/ 5 DIAMOND POOL TABLES

LIVE MUSIC EVERY FRIDAY & SATURDAY

VIDEO GAMING NOW LIVE $1.50 Dom Bottles, $3.00 Bloody Mary & Half Price Pizza $1.50 Domestic Bottles, $3 Call Shots, $3 Well Mixers $1.50 Domestic Bottles, $6 Mason Jars(well), Free Pool $1.50 Domestic Bottles, $5 Domestic Pitchers, $2.50 Imports $1.50 Domestic Bottles, $3 Rumpl, Black Haus & Jack Shots $5 Domestic Pitchers, $8 Craft Pitchers, $3 Bombs $12 Domestic Buckets, $15 Import Buckets, $4 Mixed

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OCTOBER HOROSCOPE ARIES: If a person is gloomy, things seem to go wrong. When a person is cheerful, everything seems to go right. So get positive now. Speak of solutions, and create a better day.

LIBRA: Slow down and take time to think before making a mistake in your home life. You think you're right, and you could be, but a compromise could save your relationship.

TAURUS: This is a time to rise above thoughts of the past. You are strong enough now to create the present, and the petty behavior of others will not rub off on you.

SCORPIO: Columbus dared to discover, and you could too. He discovered a new land. You could discover a new talent that's just waiting to be developed.

GEMINI: The anticipation of career advancement has you feeling tense. Distractions like sports or a Hunter's Moon picnic (Friday, the 28th) can help. Success will come.

SAGITTARIUS: The artist in you is crying out for a voice. Listen to it. Your creative efforts can have a good impact even on your most routine tasks.

CANCER: That "what you see is what you get" attitude makes people trust you. Your innate honesty, when paired with a cooperative spirit, will bring you interesting projects.

CAPRICORN: Just when we are resigned to doing a thankless job, something happens. New possibilities take you by surprise.

LEO: Your work is going so smoothly that you may lose the interest in giving it your best effort. That would be a waste, because you have more opportunities than ever before.

AQUARIUS: Whether or not you like the holiday season, Halloween is kicking it off. You might as well plunge into it and plan to enjoy Thanksgiving and Christmas too.

VIRGO: Willpower has become your source of energy, and it has taken you far. You've accomplished some signiﬁcant goals with it. That self-discipline is a work-time basic.

PISCES: Your world is in a positive phase and you are relaxed, satisﬁed, and forgiving. Or maybe you just refuse to be bothered, and troublemakers just amuse you.

One Smart Little Girl

An atheist was seated next to a little girl on an airplane and he turned to her and said, "Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

When you forgive, you in no way change the past – but you sure do change the future. Bernard Meltzer, radio host of "What's Your Problem" in Philadelphia

The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, "What would you want to talk about?" "Oh, I don’t know," said the atheist. "How about why there is no God, or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after death?" as he smiled smugly. "Okay," she said. "Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff; grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?" The atheist, visibly surprised by the little girl’s intelligence, thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea." To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss God, Heaven and Hell, or life after death, when you don’t know shit?"

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VOTE FOR YOUR FAVORITE OCTOBER BARTENDER

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facebook.com/whatsupxtramagazine ‘Like’ the page and ‘Like’ or comment on the bartenders photo or text 773.288.9400 The winner will receive a 4 hour limo bus from LIMOSALIVE.NET for 24 of their friends.

Bartender: Kelby

SEPTEMBER BARTENDER OF THE MONTH IS...

Tailgaters 431 W Boughton Rd, Bolingbrook Signature Drink: Electric Peach Lemonade Ingredients: Vodka, Rum, Peach Schnapps, Tequila, Triple Sec, Sour, Sprite Words of Wisdom: “You can't have everything, where would you put it?”

Bartender: Gina Marty’s Place 2357 Plainﬁeld Rd, Crest Hill Signature Drink: Gina’s Pink Surprise Ingredients: 3 Surprise Vodkas, Lemonade, Cranberry Juice Words of Wisdom: “Everyone has a photographic memory, some don't have ﬁlm.”

CONGRATULATIONS

GINA

Bartender: Erin

Little Frank’s

The Brazen Head 13602 Cicero Ave, Crestwood Signature Drink: Shot of Jameson Ingredients: Jameson Words of Wisdom: “He who laughs last probably didn't get the joke.”

6355 W 79th Burbank

Rules: All service employees are eligible to win. The service employee who receives the most votes in the month wins. You can submit your vote by texting (773) 288-9400 or go to facebook.com/whatsupxtramagazine “like” our page and vote under the bartender’s photo .

*The Pub Crawl will begin at the employee of the months bar and the limo bus will accommodate 24 passengers. Gratuity not included and must be paid prior to service

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The Sonoran Desert

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AGAVE BITTERSWEET BLACK WIDOW BOA BOBCAT CEREUS CACTUS CHOLLA COWBIRD COYOTE DOVE

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THE LIGHTER SIDE

Leather

When a woman wears leather clothing, a man's heart beats faster. His throat gets dry. He gets weak in the knees and begins to think irrationally. Ever wonder why? She smells like a new truck!

Old Man

He was eating lunch at a truck stop when three bikers walked in. The ﬁrst pushed his cigarette into the old man's pie, then took a seat at the counter.

Are You Smarter Than CHESTER “The Sock Monkey”? "A wee quiz about the traditions of Halloween in Ireland. No witches or warlocks allowed in Chester’s Trivia Land!" 1. What did the Celts originally call the festival we now know as Halloween? a.) All Hollow's Eve b.) Samhain c.) Oktoberfest d.) Halloween 2. In which century did the Catholic Church start to honor the various saints who didn't have their own day already on the calendar, by acknowledging them on November 1, All Hallow's Day, also known as All Saints Day"? a.) Fourth Century b.) Ninth Century c.) Sixth Century d.) Eighth century 3. What is the traditional dish eaten in Ireland on Halloween? a.) Elvers and Chips b.) Corned Beef and Cabbage c.) Colcannon d.) Bangers and Mash 4. What is the traditional cake eaten in Ireland on Halloween? a.) Carrot Cake b.) Pumpkin Pie c.) Barnbrack Cake d.) Bracken Pie

The second spit in the old man's milk, then took a seat at the counter. The third turned his plate over and then took a seat at the counter.

5. What vegetable was originally used in Ireland to hold the light, before pumpkins became more popular? a.) Rutabagas b.) Cabbages c.) Acorn Squashes d.) Turnips

The old man left without a word. One of the bikers said to the waitress, "Humph, not much of a man is he?"

6. The Celts wore costumes on their Samhain, too. What did the costumes that they wore depict? a.) Angels and archangels b.) Donkeys and pigs c.) Lambs and lions d.) Spirits and devils

The waitress replied: "Not much of a truck driver either. He just backed his truck over three motorcycles."

About The Devil The Sunday School teacher asked little Johnny, "Do you believe in the devil?" "No," said Johnny. "I believe it's just like with Santa Claus." "The devil is my dad."

What To Do

An elderly couple just bought cellphones and learned how to text. She was the romantic type and one afternoon sent him this message.

7. One of the most popular games at an Irish Halloween party is trying, while blindfolded, to get a bite of a piece of food that's hanging on a string from the ceiling. The first one to get a decent bite out of it gets to keep it, and eat it all. What is the food hanging from the ceiling? a.) Pear b.) Apple c.) Lamb shank d.) Malteaser 8. What does Irish tradition require you put in the embers of the fire on Halloween? a.) A cutting of fingernail b.) A piece of hair c.) A dried wart d.) A wing of a bat 9. Fairies and goblins try to collect as many people on Halloween as they can, so (according to Irish tradition) what should you do if you see one in order to protect yourself as well as to help others? a.) Throw dust at them b.) Throw salt over your left shoulder c.) Spit over your right shoulder d.) Snap your right fingers 10. It's late, so there is just one thing left for Irish people to do this Halloween and that is to check on their animals to ensure that they are in good health. What would you do to them if you saw one that didn't look very well? a.) Spit on him b.) Take him to the emergency veterinary clinic c.) Throw dust on him d.) Put him out of his misery

If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip.

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Answers

6. Spirits and devils 7. Apple 8. A piece of hair 9. Throw dust at them 10.Spit on him

The husband texted back to her: "I'm in the bathroom. Please advise."

1. Samhain 2. Eight century 3. Colcannon 4. Barnbrack Cake 5. Turnips

If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you."

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OCT

ALL MIXED UP by Lisa Romack

More often than not, when you think about celebrating Halloween, most people’s minds go directly to the kids. Well after the trick-or-treating is done and your “little monsters” are tucked away for the night, whether you’re lying low with a scary movie and some popcorn or throwing a fabulous party with your friends and neighbors, these Halloween-inspired cocktails are sure to pack a little punch!

Sinister Cider

Martini

Ingredients: Fine black sugar 1 apple, chopped ½ lime (cut into wedges) 1 ounce maple syrup 1 ounce apple cider 2 ounces vodka Ice Club soda 1 thin crosswise slice lady apple (for garnish) Directions:

Moisten the rim of a martini glass with water. Place sugar in a saucer and dip rim of glass in sugar to coat; set aside. In a cocktail shaker, muddle together apple cubes and lime wedges. Add syrup, cider, and vodka; ﬁll with ice. Cover and shake until well combined. Strain into prepared martini glass; top with club soda. Garnish with apple slice and serve.

Dracula’s Kiss

Pumpkin Head

Ingredients

Ingredients: 1 oz black cherry vodka ½ oz grenadine Cola Maraschino cherries (for garnish) Directions: Coat the bottom of a highball glass with grenadine. Add ice and vodka. Fill with cola. Garnish with cherries.

1 ½ oz pumpkin liqueur 1 oz orange vodka ½ oz half & half Splash of vanilla syrup Gooseberry or Cinnamon Stick (for garnish) Rim Ingredients: 4 bar spoons super ﬁne sugar ¼ bar spoon ground cinnamon Lime wedge Directions: Measure sugar and cinnamon onto a small plate. Rim outside top of glass with lime wedge. Roll the outside rim of glass in sugar mixture. Set aside. Add pumpkin liqueur, orange vodka, half and half, and vanilla syrup to mixing glass. Add ice to tin. Shake well. Strain into cocktail glass. Garnish with a gooseberry. Peel back the outer leaves of the berry. Slit the bottom of the berry. Rest on the rim of the glass.

HALLOWEEN HAUNTS

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Nfl Makes Thigh And Knee Pads Mandatory Quite a few players in the National Football League have never worn knee or thigh pads. Some thought the pads made them less agile. Others thought they looked better on TV without them. The pads are mandatory this season, and NFL uniform inspectors are watching. Any player not wearing them will be taken out of the game, and not allowed back on the field until he's wearing the right pads. Players can also be fined, as they would be for any other uniform violation if caught by one of the designated inspectors. Those fines start at $5,000. Uniform violations could also include not showing enough white in their socks or wearing the wrong color shoes. The fine is not the greatest deterrent. Every player wants to be in the game, and coaches are taking the matter very seriously. As USA Today's Tom Pelissero says, imagine having a play that you've designated a certain player for, but he's not in the game because he chose not to adhere to the padding rules as every other player has. In recent years, the NFL has developed the lighter, stronger, more up-todate pads for thighs and knees that are being used for the 2013 season.

C O C A P LU u G t P R & re do SU IZ DE B at or LE E S ee fo M S r r ac & G P h ar at in de io e ns s

The game-day uniform inspector will evaluate each player. Only kickers and punters are exempt

SPORT SHORTS Mickelson and Extreme Taxes When Phil Mickelson won both the Scottish Open and the British Open, his winnings came to $2,167,500. But between taxes by the United Kingdom, the IRS and the state of California, 61 percent of his earnings go for taxes. That means he will pay $1,322,175 in taxes before he leaves the clubhouse. Forbes explains that the UK is one of few countries that collect taxes on endorsement income for non-resident athletes that compete in Britain or Scotland, which raises his tax bill. Forty-ﬁve percent of Mickelson's winnings go to Britain, 13 percent go to California, and 3 percent goes to the U.S. government. Mickelson still gets $842,700. Then, he'll have to pay his caddie, who will get 10 percent for a win. And there is hotel, expenses, and his agent. He'll probably end up taking home less than 30 percent of his winnings.

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Neil Wonnells’ Metal Mouth By Dave Rodriguez Neil Wonnells’ Metal Mouth delivers on promise of “Pure Crushing Metal” Neil Wonnell is a man on a mission. His mission, call it his dream, is to deliver a radio program that is a fun, personality driven assault of what he calls “pure crushing metal.” It’s no secret that radio has never been a safe haven for those of us that enjoy our music more on the meatier side. At best the most one could hope for is a few hours of metal programming in the dead of night or a low watt college station. Fortunately, Internet based programs have sprung up in recent years to answer the pleas of head bangers that the faceless corporate giants have ignored. One of the longest running of those is “Neil Wonnells Metal Mouth”. Recorded on the far south side of Chicago and heard weekly via the Internet and terrestrial radio, Wonnell plays a rapid-ﬁre mix of beloved classics and cutting edge current delivered with a banter cloaked in cool professionalism. One thing for certain is that his love of the genre is clearly evident. Calling himself a “heavy metal historian”, Neil began his career in the late 80’s, doing public access radio. From there he put himself through broadcasting school and then began working at several Chicagoland A.M. talk and F.M. rock stations. During this time, Neil approached several program directors with an idea for a metal based show only for his request to fall on deaf ears. Told that metal wasn’t “marketable” Neil decided to go the independent route and took his idea to the internet and that’s when “Metal Mouth” was born. I asked Neil why he felt the time was right for a show like his. “Things changed sometime around the mid 80's. Big companies were buying up several stations in a single market, this was happening all across the country, the formats were all the same and the DJ's all followed the same rules. I knew it was time for a change!” When asked if the show focuses primarily on signed and established artists, Neil had this to say, “I absolutely play demos. Most stations and shows will only play an artist if they sell X amount of records. My theory is what better way to give a band exposure than to play their demo/independent release. I must stress though quality does matter, the better the sound quality, the better the chances for airplay.” Bands looking to have their material played on the show are instructed to send their mp3’s to neilwonnell@yahoo.com. “Neil Wonnell’s Metal Mouth” can now be heard world-wide via several outlets as well as being syndicated via terrestrial stations around the country. An all-talk edition can be found at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/neilwonnell. Along with co-host Japan Nick, the show centers on metal discussion, listener call-ins and the occasional interview with noted bands and musicians from around the country. The standard edition can be found at http://aircheck.us/show/1458. Be sure to check out our write “Joliet” Dave Rodriguez at www.facebook.com/jolietdaveofﬁcial

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La La’s Love Letters A Birthday Wish Dear La La: Ever since my boyfriend and I moved in together last year, I have been bothered by the amount of time his best friend spends at our house. He stops by anywhere from two to five nights each week, often showing up unannounced. He says he just stopping for “a” beer, which usually turns into three, and doesn't leave till after I’ve gone to bed. At first, my boyfriend acted helpless about it, but when I called him on by Lauren Strec that, he switched to a new defense: “I shouldn’t have to give up my friends just because we live together.” I’m at the end of my rope. Any suggestions? Ropeless Ronda Dear Ropeless: That sucks, and you are justified in your frustration. Why does your man think he has to “give up his friends?” Use that question to reflect on how you worded your request. Relationships are all about compromise: if there is a disagreement on a subject, each of you must give a little and sacrifice a little, in order to meet a middle ground. Try talking to your guy again, but state upfront that you, by no means, want him to give up friendships. Don’t demand, but rather communicate that you want to reach something that is fair to both of you, since you both share a space, and are indeed affected by each other’s lifestyles. Ask if you could work out a schedule of sorts, where there are days that his friend can totally pull an Adele and “turn up out of the blue, uninvited,” and other days that are off-limits for him to just pop in. Balance out that shit! Dear LaLa: My girlfriend wants to be a singer and she is really good and super beautiful. I ‘m afraid that she really has a chance of “making it” and when she becomes famous will dump me like a hot potato. Do I encourage her or tell her to give it up for the sake of saving our relationship? Potato Pete Dear Potato: If you two have a strong bond, then her fame will not matter. If there is a void somewhere, the fame will just be a catalyst to what was already inevitable. Another catalyst? NOT encouraging her. Speaking from personal experience, nothing causes more resentment then being with a guy who doesn’t cheer you on. I’ll still get pissed thinking about that piece of crap. ANYWAY, with that said, stand by her, and if things go well, ride the wave WITH her. If she leaves, then know that it’s better off sooner than later.

Lauren is a spokesmodel for tv, radio, live events, blogging and social media. Connect at Facebook. com/LaurenStrec for tidbits, news and fun photos

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There is a fellow who is talking to his buddy and says, “I don’t know what to get my wife for her birthday. She has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants. I’m stumped.” His buddy says, “I have an idea. Why don’t you make up a certiﬁcate that says she can have two hours of great sex, any way she wants it. She’ll probably be thrilled!” The ﬁrst fellow does just that. The next day, his buddy asks, “Well, did you take my suggestion? How did it turn out?” “She loved it. She jumped up, thanked me, kissed me on the mouth, and ran out the door yelling, ‘I’ll see you in two hours!’

A Great Effort A 70 year old man went to his doctor's office to get a sperm count. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring me back a sample tomorrow." The next day, the 70 year old man reappears at the doctor's office and gives him the jar, which is as clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor asks, "What happened?" and the man explains, "Well, doctor, it's like this. First, I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then, I tried with my left hand, still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, but nothing. Then her left, but nothing. She even tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with the teeth out, and still nothing. We even called up the lady next door and she tried with both hands, and her mouth too, but nothing." The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?" The old man replied, "Yep, but no matter what we tried, we couldn't get the darn jar open!"

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Highway to IKEA By Rob Christiansen “You’re lucky if you can avoid talking to the police,” said the expungement attorney. “Wear blinders and you’ll stay out of trouble.” We were offered pigs in a blanket by a circulating waiter but she declined, so I did, too. “Police keep you honest and away from call girls,” she said. “They might be cops. Technically, that’s entrapment, but word to the wise.” She stylishly sipped a vodka and cranberry juice while spinning auras of sophistication and accessibility like plates on which hors d’oeuvres occasionally were offered to us. She wore a green dress, a smiling frog comb in her hair, bracelets, and the sickest pastel-hued pumps with matching purse I’d ever seen. We were standing inside Café Brauer at LPZ. She was 5’7”. “Men marry for convenience motives that don’t pan out and have kids by accident,” she said. I remembered this place used to be a paddle boat storage facility. Now, there’s a line for the caricature artist. My friend Kim is in line. The expungement attorney is on ﬁre. She’s not the girl I married. “Half the men are divorced,” she said. “The other half gets up at seven and makes their kids pancakes. They have chips on their shoulders since they couldn’t close Redhead. They hurried home to sleep, or ‘come to bed,’ an entirely different animal—the two backed beast that thrives on suggestion, whose main habitat is your dreams unless it escapes.” “Like from here,” I said, driving her crazy, based on silent laughter in her dreamy eyes. They, too, were green, though not like her dress…. That was years ago. Now, I drive my family…not just crazy, but to Ikea, in drizzling rain on Saturday, for a sideboard. My motherin-law told us via Skype why we need one. My wife knows I’m not on “board” and encourages me to not abruptly turn around. Her gentle power of persuasion drives me crazy, and that’s why I married her. Distracted by a review of my life choices and the family singing with Donna Summer, I unexpectedly crash through a toll gate on the Kennedy Expressway. There’s an I-Pass on my windshield but I wasn’t in an I-Pass lane. Police pull me over and I resentfully eject the CD. My wife talks them out of ticketing me and that’s why I married her. We all help put the box on top of the car and because of the drizzle as annoying as mother-in-law I also bought a blue tarp. My wife had clandestinely tossed rope from our garage into the trunk. She has foresight, time management- and people-skills, and that’s why I married her.

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Donna Summer and the “Joyride Trio” sing reprisals in the drizzle orchestrated by mother-in-law using acupuncture on my effigy in Effingham. She treats me like she went to Eff U and graduated with Effing honors. I thought Kim was contrarily nice, and that’s why I married her. The twins have at the sideboard like an unopened present on the dining room floor as I leave the house, taking time out from everyone. Mother-in-law is apparently also taking time out because it stopped drizzling. She’s a wet blanket and thinking of her makes me one too. I might as well have sat on top of the car and let the blue tarp drive home. When I hit the sidewalk out of the Red Line, I see a man who literally had hit the sidewalk and wasn’t getting up. He looks like a handcuffed alligator. A “poacher” is sitting on top him as they await a police car. If he agrees to plead guilty in a supervision sentencing deal in order to “avoid” a conviction, his arrest will have to be expunged to keep from haunting him. But he will have to personally pick up his rap sheet (currently $16) and forward it to an expungement attorney (currently @ $850). There’s a filing fee (currently $150) and, potentially, a hearing (currently $300), depending on his “rap sheet.” Otherwise, if the defendant answers “No” to the question, have you ever been convicted of a crime? On a job application, the HR director will mail him a letter stating that due to a “misrepresentation” he made on his application he’s ineligible for hire. The fascinating expungement attorney painted that picture for me in Café Brauer. Kim, who I had recently met, invited me. She, too, worked for the law firm sponsoring the party. I eventually married Kim for her connections, in case I ever needed an expungement attorney. But I only needed her a few times. Kim made sure of that, and that’s why I married her. I look at the guy and size up our dilemmas. I appreciate knowing that, comparatively speaking, I can do what I want; no one is sitting on me. My family is on my back, but at least the cops aren’t. I see Skype as a ridiculously lame weapon. At best, it’s like a water pistol. I have a few beers at Sports Corner with “Matt” Ahari and “Two Can” Stan and go home. My family has joyfully, based on their exciting stories, built the sideboard, and it looks great against a wall. And I see why I married Kim. She knows light carpentry. Our boy and girl look just like us, and they were no boating accident. I see police making me a waffle. My forte is pancakes, and I laugh. I’m a poet and don’t know it. The memory of the “handcuffed alligator” stays with me all my life, one that I shared till death parted me from Kim. Our children and grandchildren speak highly of me. They said they loved Saturday mornings when I made pancakes. I know I drank a few beers today, but I can drive this road. WWW.WHATSUPXTRA.COM

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Business and Leadership Development SET YOUR OWN HOURS, MUST HAVE COMPUTER AND ENTREPRENEUR MINDSET Beneﬁts:

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