On Track with Jim Freeman

ON TRACK

with Jim Freeman

If you are reading this while you are waiting for your microwave to ding, stop reading until after you have digested your food and flossed.

This is a vent as it happens.

My smart TV just said our Commander-in-Chief maligned the former Secretary of State in a tweet.

Maybe you are reading this a month from now, and this shock has lapsed into a schlock.

Maybe, right now, this only matters to me, but, attacking people who deserve respect is an attack on all of us.

The former Secretary of State, Rex Wayne Tillerson, is a Distinguished Eagle Scout who achieved this highest of all BSA honors because of excellence and effort.

Rex Wayne Tillerson is not, as suggested in a senseless tweet, “dumb as a box of rocks” or “lazy as hell.” Neither are Mr. Tillerson’s parents who named their Eagle Scout son after two of the greatest cowboys ever to grace celluloid, Rex Allen and John Wayne, the Frontier Doctor and the Duke. Check Wikipedia if you think I am joking @ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rex_Tillerson.

Like Eagle Scouts, cowboys ride the range with extreme intelligence. Cowboys are not lazy. There is no time.

Cowboys don’t call in sick. They are the only ones to answer the phone.

Cowboy Steve, my friend and neighbor for the last 35 years, works harder and smarter than anyone I know.

Without Steve, my 90-year old caboose roof would still leak, downed trees would still be blocking the road, and, most importantly, I never would have learned how to ride a horse on my birthday after inhaling two double bloody Marys.

TJ, my column security director, is the first person who reads this space each week as she edits my efforts.

TJ is the mother of an Eagle Scout.

Never ask an Eagle Scout’s mother if her son, achieving one of the most difficult successes and achievements in life, is lazy or directionless.

Instead, ask her how many hours it took her son to achieve the unachievable.

“Andrew spent 12 years earning 13 ranks from Bobcat in Cub Scouts to Eagle. Each rank having more requirements, more responsibility and more leadership. Were it not for his dedication to earn Eagle, he would not be able to hold two part time jobs while attending Skagit Valley College to study Business Management.”

Thanks Mom.Moms are smarter than presidents.Moms do not serve apprenticeships.

Moms do not have time for that pre-OJT nonsense.

Moms go to work from hour one on day one, all the way to forever.

Moms are like Distinguished Eagle Scouts.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Distinguished_ Eagle_Scout_Award

Night school Mom told me several decades ago, while she was serving as precinct captain at our nearby elementary school, where adults voted in curtain drawn booths with vertical levers maneuvering their silent secrets, never to talk politics or religion with anyone.

“Why not, Mom?”

“Those subjects are filled with personal opinions, Jimmy. They cause arguments.”

“Is that why you and Mr. Alnutt bet a dollar to see who will be President?”

“We do that for fun. He always picks the Democrat. I always pick the Republican.”

“What about the Whigs and the Tories?”“Go play. Dinner is almost ready.”

Rant off Mom once heard a news reporter criticize President Eisenhower. She got so upset she knocked out a six page, single-spaced, manually typewritten letter to tell Ike how great he was, is, and always would be. Nothing like assuming a battle-tested General needed a boost to his self esteem. Way to go, Mom.

So Dad comes into the TV room where Mom

lived with her mostly NBC driven black and white (Dad said color TV would never last) and asks, “So, who are you writing, Lucile?”

“The President.”

“The President? Do you think Ike will actually ever see this, and if he did, do you think Ike would ever have time to read all of this?”

In that moment, Mom pulled page six out of her Underwood manual typewriter, placed the highly emphatic last page on top of her preceding five pages, crumpled them all up, and threw them in the trash.

That was a fun dinner.

Readers this far, thanks for helping me get through this tweet shock. I feel better now.

Din din Speaking of dinner, we are having a lunch today, unless you read this tomorrow, to honor the Guru of Graphic Design, birthday girl Teresa Besaw.

Grandma Teresa may have to leave the celebration early if her daughter goes into labor.

Teresa is no stranger to labor having worked with Whidbey Weekly since our inception.

Along with wizardress TJ, Teresa is the reason we look good and read easy.

Happy Birthday, Grandma.

Hope you can stay for your birthday dessert. If Eric paid him, the dancer should be there before you blow out your candles. If the timing is right, maybe the dancer can do a second show in your daughter’s delivery room. Half off, of course.

Holiday in the vineyards A neighborly thank you to Nancy and Brad Thompson of Dancing Fish Vineyards, www. dancingfishvineyards.com, for hosting another fun-filled fundraiser for the dynamic holiday duo of Big Brothers and Big Sisters of Island County, https://bbbsislandcounty.org/ and the Soroptimists, www.facebook.com/SISouthWhidbeyIsland.

Catered by the fine cuisine of Front Street Grill catering, no palate was left unturned.

Festive wines, many mispronounced by yours truly, were available for bidding along with fantastic getaways and hometown hideaways.

A special thanks to Tamra Sipes of Platinum Travel Group for running ground traffic control for this great event, and so many others she has efficiently officiated through the years.

Tamra can even answer questions while bidding.

Writer poets What does one call a person who writes poetic prose and books, a writer poet or a poet writer? Maybe a bicameral bipod?

This Sunday, Dec. 16, between 1 p.m. and 3 p.m., octogenarian and then some Richard Evans will be sharing his prose and answers to yet-tobe-revealed questions at Uniquely Whidbey, on the top floor of the Bayview Corner building.

Evans will share his takes from his travels from the medulla to the oblongata and back again, all set forth very nicely in his latest book, Cryptolips Volume1, available in line Sunday and on line any day.

One poem, Port Side on the Ferry, is written for fellow poet, Kevin Fristad. Both Evans and Fristad recently joined Judith Walcutt and David Ossman for a stellar by stage light showcase.

Mr. Fristad has been writing poetry and more for decades. Kevin’s Dead Geese Dancing is a delightful daylight savings time diversion as is his Hey Donald, a collection of one hundred letters sent to the White House during the President’s first 100 days.

It is so wonderful to live in a setting surrounded by water and wordsmiths.

We even have fun libraries where we don’t have to whisper.

Quotes “I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.” ~Robert Benchley

“Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less.” ~Madame Curie

“Art, freedom, and creativity will change society faster than politics.” ~Victor Pinchu

“The relationship with my audience is the most consistent relationship in my life.” ~Comedian Dave Chappelle

Agreed, Mr. Chappelle.

The persistence of consistence–another great reason to look forward to a lifetime of breathing.

To read past columns of On Track in the Whidbey Weekly, see our Digital Library at www. whidbeyweekly.com.

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