June 24, 2010 by Wildwood Magazine

ildwood

M a g a z i n e Published Every Thursday

Volume 1, No 14

www.WildwoodMag.com

facebook.com/wildwoodmag

Photo: John Rizzuto â&#x20AC;˘ www.BuyOldSchool.com

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Handling Everything From Beach To Bay

4701 New Jersey Ave Wildwood, NJ 08260 (609) 522-4400 • (609) 522-9412

COLLEEN WILSON BROKER ASSOCIATE

Cell: (609) 602-2008 Email: colleen-wilson@comcast.net www.BlueOceanRealty.com www.FromBeachToBay.net

206 Olde New Jersey Ave. North Wildwood, NJ

609-770-7545 (Under New Ownership. Formerly JP Prime)

4 | WildwoodMag.com

Wildwood Magazine

13 49 59 13 28 50 57 70 39 33 6 66 63 54 80

Wildwood M a g a z i n e

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Published Every Thursday

oodmag

facebook.com/wildw

Volume 1, No 14

Published every Thursday. All rights reserved. No portion of this publication including copy, artwork, photos and advertisements may be reproduced without permission of the publisher. The publisher will not be responsible for misinformation, typographical errors, etc. which might appear in advertising. We retain the right to refuse any advertising.

The Gym at 10th Street The Hardware Store Tornado Fries Total Image Salon Totally Casual Uncle Bill’s Pancake House Uries Uries Treasure Cove Vegas Diner Warehouse wicker Weather Forecast Wildwood 365 Wildwood Cycles Wildwood Sign & Design Woody’s Surf & Skate

36 65 11 3 52 72 73 44 69 15 81 28 83 79 12 17 32 10 77 2 68 55 31 58 39 43 17 61 46 82 9 71 80 31 80 72

Goodfish Grill 79 Hall’s Carpet Care 64 Hoffman Agency 84 Hooked on Books 33 Jersey Bait & Tackle 28 Jersey PC 22 Juan Pablo’s 37 Key West Cafe 76 La Piazza Cucina 23 Lighthouse Pointe 68 Luna 41 Marvis Diner 40 Michael’s Custom Tile & Flooring 29 Michelle’s Island Cuts 25 Mid Town Diner 60 Montello’s 14 Mum’s the word 79 My Tree Guy 5 Neil’s Island Pub & Grille 34 O’Boyle’s Irish Pub 38 Ocean Property Management 42 Pier 47 Marina 45 Pink Cadillac Diner 21 Ravioli House 53 Rep’s Heating & Cooling 7 RFC Construction 18 Rick’s Seafood 38 Rio Grande Mattress Outlet 51 Sal’s Pizza 24 Schellenger’s Restaurant 10 Scrappy Pappy 61 Shamrock Cafe 20 Shore Fitness 56 Soleil Massage 30 Star Diner 27 Subway 26 Sunset View Marina 16

• www.BuyOldSchool.com Photo: John Rizzuto

Contents Air Care Aleathea’s Atilis Gym Banana Jack Murphy’s Beach Creek Big River Fish Co. Bill’s Corner Deli Bluewater Welding & Fabrication Boathouse Bolero Fitness Bonelli’s Market Buck’s Electrical Service Cabrera Canal Side Boat Rental Cape Islands Carpet Care Casba Comedy Club Casey’s on 3rd Center City Video Charles Harvey Colleen Wilson. Blue Ocean Realty Cone Crazy Crest Tavern Cricket Wireless Dave’s Bras Discount Uniform Dolce Italian Drake Pest Control Duffy’s on the Lake Elite Public Adjusters Find’s Furniture Fishing Report Flip Flopz Gary’s Boards Gia Girl Around Town Grilladelphia

LOOK www.

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is your tree guy! Spring clean up special • Weeding, mulching, Bush Trimming etc.

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Joe & Rosemarie @ Crest Tavern

Ken the bartender @ Crest Tavern’s outside bar

I have always thought the actions of men the best interpreters of their thoughts. ~John Locke

WildwoodMag.com | 5

Wildwood weather forecast according to weather.com So... if it’s wrong, don’t blame us.

Thursday

Friday

Saturday

Sunday

Monday

Tuesday

Wednesday

High 95° High 84° High 85° High 89° High 86° High 82° High 78° Low 72° Low 69° Low 75° Low 74° Low 70° Low 65° Low 65° Sunny skies during the morning hours. Scattered showers and thunderstorms developing in the afternoon

Mostly sunny. Highs in the mid 80s and lows in the upper 60s.

Partly cloudy with a stray thunderstorm. Highs in the mid 80s and lows in the mid 70s.

Maura and Jerry Moore

Slight chance of a thunderstorm. Highs in the upper 80s and lows in the mid 70s.

Scattered thunderstorms possible. Highs in the mid 80s and lows in the low 70s.

A few thunderstorms possible. Highs in the low 80s and lows in the mid 60s.

Times of sun and clouds. Highs in the upper 70s and lows in the mid 60s.

Howard & Linda @ Crest Tavern

Between saying and doing many a pair of shoes is worn out. ~Italian Proverb

Well done is better than well said. ~Benjamin Franklin

Crest Tavern server Jen

Don’t let this happen...

Bob Dodge, his son Bob, grandaughter Mary and Barbara St. Clair

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WildwoodMag.com | 7

23 June through September $5 Donation . . . Also available for rentals 729-4515

2010 Wildwood Civic Club OfďŹ cers

New President Carlotta Ackley, 1st VP Carol Schoenig, 2nd VP Ellie Reynolds, Rec. Sec. Helen Johnston, Cor. Sec Carol Dâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;Alesandro, Trea. Evelyn Harvey, Fin Sec. Carole Speechley, Directors Annette Jackson, Joan Husband, Vange Maier.

8 | WildwoodMag.com

For Information about event rentals (125 person maximum capacity) call Carole at 609-368-5243 or email: speechebs@yahoo.com

939am

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Wildwood 21 MoCrest, Ocean 341am Pier 4.1Tide Table 427pm

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Sunrise 532am

Sunset 828pm

Moonrise 613pm

Moonset 254am

1133pm 713pm

758am 340am 855am 432am

N 38° / W 74° 49.4' 22 58.5' Tu 444am

4.0

High Tide3.9 542am

522pm

High Tide5.3 613pm

June 2010 1145pm

Date 23

Day We

1 24

Sa Th

1019am 636am

4.1 3.9

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131am 1000pm

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6 29

Th Tu

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Fr We

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925am 455am

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552am 534am

757pm 828pm

224am 1052pm

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4.0 1010am 0.7 are local 1041pm 551am For comparison only - Times - Tides in 0.9 feet from MLLW

251pm

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Fishing Report By12 Kathy We Algard 13

Low Tide0.1 1141am

Low Tide

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Flounder fishing4.1 was good at the5.5 Old Grounds, Reef Fr 822am 836pm 226am 0.0 210pm 0.0 545am 804pm Site Cape May and should 15 11 and Sa the 905am 4.0 Reef, 919pm 5.5 improve 310am each -0.1 254pm 0.0 544am 804pm week progresses. Flounder are also being 16 as the Su season 951am 4.0 1004pm 5.5 356am caught -0.1 341pm 0.0 543am 805pm 17 the Moedge 1041am 4.0 1054pmfrom 5.314 Foot 445am 432pm 0.1 542am 806pm along of the shipping lanes Light-0.1 to 18 Tu Maul 1136am 1148pm 537am 0.0 529pm 0.2 542am 807pm above Miah in the4.0Delaware Bay. 5.1 In the Backbays, 19 We 1237pm 4.0 632am 0.0 632pm 0.3 541am 808pm there are plentiful short Flounder, and the keepers seem to 20 Th 1248am 4.9 142pm 4.1 729am 0.0 740pm 0.4 540am 809pm be coming from deeper water. Sharking is still good with 21 Fr 152am 4.7 247pm 4.4 827am 0.0 849pm 0.4 539am 810pm plenty ofSaMako’s258am and Th4.5 reshers around. Chris Hoff man 0.0 of 22 349pm 4.6 924am 957pm 0.3 539am 811pm West NJ weighed in an 83 pound Mako caught 23 Deptford, Su 402am 4.4 447pm 4.9 1020am -0.1 1100pm 0.1 538am 812pm at 24 the Misty aboard Sean Gallagher’s out -0.1 of Mo Blue 503am 4.4 541pm 5.2“Beagle” 1112am 1159pm 0.0 537am 812pm 25 Tu NJ. 559am 4.3 630pm 5.5 1203pm -0.2 537am 813pm Wildwood, 26 We 718pm 5.6 1252am -0.2 1251pm -0.2 536am 814pm Schools of Bluefi652am n Tuna4.3 are everywhere from the 20 Fathom 27 741am 4.2 803pm 5.6 138pm -0.1 535am 815pm line out Th to the Canyons, and a few where caught143am on the-0.2 28 Fr 828am 4.1 846pm 5.5 231am -0.2 224pm 0.0 535am 816pm troll, but generally have been tough to catch. The “Captain 29 Sa 913am 4.0 929pm 5.3 317am -0.1 308pm 0.2 534am 816pm Chaos” out of Wildwood, NJ trolled the5.1 Baltimore Canyon 30 Su 958am 3.9 1011pm 402am 0.0 352pm 0.4 534am 817pm and released a 51042am foot Mako. Bernadette Daiber caught her 31 Mo 3.8 1054pm 4.9 446am 0.1 436pm 0.6 533am 818pm first Golden Tilefish on the trip, and the crew reported ©2010 FreeTideTables.com - For comparison only - Times are local - Tides in feet from MLLW 15 more were caught up to 25 pounds. Chaz Gallagher of Williamstown, NJ reported 5 Yellowfin Tuna in the 40-60 pound range while trolling the Poorman’s Canyon on his “Reel Classic” out of Wildwood, NJ. In the surf, Kingfish have showed up from Avalon to Cape May. An occasional Striper was caught, but the Striper bite in the surf has slowed. Schoolie Stripers are still hanging around the backbays, and can be caught on Clam or Surface lures. Crabby Jack gives the crabbing 5 Claws again this week, and says the crabs are large and plentiful. Sterling Harbor’s 17th Annual Duke of Fluke Tournament is scheduled for Saturday, July 10th from 7:30 AM till 5 PM. Entry forms are now available in the shop. The Captains Meeting is Friday, July 9th at 7:30 PM. Call the shop at 609-729-1425 for more information. 14

547am

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New

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1st

Full

Chris Hoffman of West Deptford, NJ caught this 83 pound Mako at the Misty Blue aboard Sean Gallagher’s “Beagle” out of Wildwood, NJ.

WildwoodMag.com | 9

He liked to go from A to B without inventing letters between. ~John McPhee

Philly’s Fallen Heroes Memorial Motorcycle Ride

“ Lobster CENTER CITY VIDEO OUTLET City”

3115 Pacific Ave., Wildwood • 609-522-2253 Largest Selection of Adult Novelties in Cape May County

Adult Movie Section Welcome Irish WeekNO LATE Closed 9/22 & 9/25 FEES Open Fri.-Sat.-Sun. 10/3, 10/4 & 10/5

NO COUPON MEMBERSHIP FREE FEES Shrimp,

Early Birds 3:30-5:30pm Buffalo Wings or $ 95 Puffs Largest 9 Video Store Crab on the Island starting at

3516 Atlantic Avenue, Wildwood

Present when ordering. Good only with purchase of adult meal. One per person. Not valid with other offers, Early birds or take out.

REGULAR DVD SPECIALS

522-0433 1 FOR $5 • 2 FOR $8 • 3 FOR $9.99

WITH COUPONAON SELECT of TITLES Whale a Meal! 1 1/2 hr. Free Parking

OPEN ALL YEAR • MOPEN DAILY FROM 10AM ajor Credit Cards aCCepted 10 | WildwoodMag.com

Nadia @ Dolphin VI @ The Wildwood Boardwalk

Open Daily

“Lobster City”

Free Phone Case with any phone

Unlimited Talk & Text

purchase and new activation.

Offer expires 03/26/10

First ake out tMonth vailable aFree

Also $30 featuring month Also featuring Steaks, Chicken Steaks, Chicken, Pasta & More Pasta & More

plus a Children’s Menu

plus a Children's Menu

COUPON

no signed contracts. no overages americas most affordable 3G network.

FREE

Shrimp, Early Birds • HOT WINGS Center Outlet 3:00-5:00pm,City Sun - Fri.Video Buffalo • CRAB Chicken PUFFS 3115 Pacific Avenue • Wildwood • (609) 522-2253 $ 95 Bites or Crab Puffs • U-Peel’em Shrimp 10 (corner of pine & pacific) starting at

Corner of Atlantic & Schellenger Avenues, OPEN DAILY FROM Wildwood

522-0433

Present when ordering.

10AM Good only with purchase of

adult meal. One per person. Not valid with other offers.

Features will vary by phone and rate plan. Terms, conditions & other restrictions apply. See store for details. Service: Requires $15 activation fee. Rates exclude taxes & fees (including a regulatory recovery fee of up to $1.40). The regulatory recovery fee is not a tax or government-required charge. 3G & unlimited coverage not available everywhere; coverage maps at mycricket. com.

A Whale of a Meal! 1 1/2 hr. Free Parking Major Credit Cards aCCepted

We are all inclined to judge ourselves by our ideals; others, by their acts. ~Harold Nicolson

Dale @ Philly’s Fallen Heroes Memorial Motorcycle Ride

Regulators MC @ Philly’s Fallen Heroes Memorial Motorcycle Ride

Totally Remodeled!! All New!!

“Wildwood’s Largest Fitness Center”

Just Added All New Hammer Strength & Life Fitness Equipment. Over 30 Pieces of New Cardio Equipment All New Private Aerobic Studio with25+ Classes a Week. Massage Therapist / Tanning / Supplement / Extended Summer Hours Great Summer Membership, Guaranteed Lowest Prices!!! check us out on facebook...

Atilis Gym

3015 Pacific Ave. Wildwood, NJ 609-729-2050

WildwoodMag.com | 11

Don’t find fault. Find a remedy. ~Henry Ford

Things to do in the bathroom stall... 1. Stick your palm open under the stall wall and ask your neighbour, “May I borrow a highlighter?” 2. Say “Uh oh, I knew I shouldn’t put my lips on that.” 3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise. 4. Say, “Hmmm, I’ve never seen that color before.” 5. Drop a marble and say, “oh shoot!! My glass eye!!” 6. Say “Darn, this water is cold.” 7. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a high place six to eight feet. Sigh relaxingly. 8. Say, “Now how did that get there?” 9. Say, “Humus. Reminds me of humus.” 10. Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbours while yelling, “Whoa! Easy boy!!” 11. Say, “Interesting....more sinkers than floaters. 12. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop it under the stall wall of your neighbour. Then say, “Whoops, could you kick that back over here, please?” 13. Say. “C’mon Mr. Happy! Don’t fall asleep on me!!” 14. Say, “Boy, that sure looks like a maggot” 15. Say, “Darn, I Knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna do?” 16. Play a well known drum cadence over and over again on your butt cheeks. 17. Before you unroll toilet paper, conspicuously lay down your “Cross-Dressers Anonymous” newsletter on the floor visible to the adjacent stall. 18. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall and adjust it so you can see your neighbour and say, “Peek-a-boo!” 19. Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing “Born Free” 20. When you’re in a bathroom stall take a Snickers candy bar with you and when someone is next to you, squish it in your hand and reach under the stall wall and say “You got any more toilet paper over there, This side’s completely out.”

(609) 522-5500 (609) 398-7500

24 Hour Emergency Service

“LIVE CLEAN” FREE ESTIMATES!

CARPET CLEANING UPHOLSTERY CLEANING TILE AND GROUT CLEANING FIRE • FLOOD • MOLD

25.00 OFF

Any Service

Valid through June 15, 2010, with this coupon. 12 | WildwoodMag.com

Total Image Salon Specializing in Professional Hair Services

at 10th Street, North Wildwood

t a s th” u ee Ten s e at m o m C “ Gy the 4901 Pacific Ave. Wildwood

609-523-8700

Jake & Marci @ Philly’s Fallen Heroes Memorial Motorcycle Ride

10th & New Jersey Avenue North Wildwood, NJ (609) 729-2286

ﬁnd us on facebook “The Gym at 10th Street”

www.thegymat10thstreet.com

Dominic & Keith @ Philly’s Fallen Heroes Memorial Motorcycle Ride

Success will never be a big step in the future, success is a small step taken just now. ~Jonatan Mårtensson

WildwoodMag.com | 13

202 E Rio Grande Ave. 609-231-9218 Now Open • • • • • • • • •

Specializing in Italian Delicasies Specialty Sandwiches Imported Cheeses Premium Deli Meats Tomato Pies Homemade Salads Fresh Made Pastas Joey M’s Homemade Tomato Gravy Specialty Imported Pastas

Buffalo Soldiers & Philly Xtreme @ Philly’s Fallen Heroes Memorial Motorcycle Ride After a heavy night at the pub, a drunken man decides to sleep off his drunkenness at a local hotel. He approaches the reception desk, takes care of the formalities and heads off to his suite. Several minutes later, the drunk staggers back to the reception desk and demands his room be changed. “But sir,” said the clerk, “you have the best room in the hotel.” “I insist on another room!!!” said the drunk. “Very good, sir. I’ll change you from 502 to 525. Would you mind telling me why you don’t like 502?” asked the clerk. “Well, for one thing,” said the drunk, “it’s on fire.”

Potter Family @ Duffers 14 | WildwoodMag.com

Action is the last resource of those who know not how to dream. ~Oscar Wilde

John @ Philly’s Fallen Heroes Memorial Motorcycle Ride

Barbara & Gotti @ Philly’s Fallen Heroes Memorial Motorcycle Ride

Bolero Fitness Open Year Round 10,000 Square Foot Facility Located on the 7th Floor

Featuring: Over 11,000 Lbs. Of Weights Free Weights & Machines Indoor Rooftop Pool - Hot Tubs Stand-Up Tanning Bed - Steam Room

Cardio Room

Treadmills -Elliptical Stationary Bikes - Stepper Rowing Machine

No Long Term Contracts

Certified Massage Therapists

Open 9am to 10pm Daily 3320 Atlantic Avenue Wildwood, NJ 08260 (609) 522-9220

No Sign Up Fees

WildwoodMag.com | 15

Dan, Jim & Joe @ Philly’s Fallen Heroes Memorial Motorcycle Ride

Spell Checker I halve a spelling checker, It came with my pea see. It plainly marks four my revue Mistakes I dew knot sea. Eye strike a key and type a word And weight four it two say Weather eye am wrong oar write It shows me strait aweigh. As soon as a mist ache is maid It nose bee fore two long And eye can put the era rite Its rarely ever wrong. I’ve scent this massage threw it, And I’m shore your pleased too no Its letter prefect in every weigh; My checker tolled me sew.

Dorothy & Gabby @ Duffers

Sunset View Marina

• Boat Rentals • Bait & Tackle The Secret’s O ut! • Fishing & Crabbing • Snack Bar • Boat & Wave Runner Slips • Ice

Only Gas Dock in North Wildwood 3rd & Bay, North Wildwood 609-846-1754 www.SunsetViewMarina.com

BYOB

Private Parties

Unit for Rent • Weekly, Monthly or Seasonal 16 | WildwoodMag.com

Rick & Annie @ Philly’s Fallen Heroes Memorial Motorcycle Ride

Dawn, Donna, Anthony & Phil @ Philly’s Fallen Heroes Memorial Motorcycle Ride

SPECIAL 2 FOR 1 ADMISSION

FRI & SAT. JUNE 25 & 26

Residential & Commercial Here are just a few of the services we offer: Bed Bugs • Ants • Roaches • Termites Rodents • Bats • Bees • Wasps Snakes • Nuisance Wildlife Free Estimates & Inspections Licensed & Insured Warranty With Services

Wildwood (609) 846-3181 609-861-9200

Friday & Saturday Shows 8pm & 10:30pm For Reservations & Info Call 609-522-8444 Atlantic & Spicer Avenues, Wildwood www.CasbaComedyClub.com A man goes to his physician and is shocked to find that he has been replaced by a super-computer. The computer asks him his ailments and the man says he has a sore elbow. A drawer pops out and he is asked to urinate in it. After a few bleeps and flashing lights the computer decides he has tennis elbow. The man is annoyed and decides to get one over on this machine so he asks his wife for a urine sample. He then mixes this with urine from his dog and his small son and to top it off, adds some of his sperm. He takes it to the computer-physician who again asks him for a sample. He places the urine/sperm sample in the drawer and the computer makes its usual display of bleeps and flashes before telling him that his wife is pregnant, his dog has rabies, his son has chicken pox and if he doesn’t stop masturbating he’ll never get rid of his tennis elbow.

WildwoodMag.com | 17

RFC CONSTRUCTION MODULAR HOME SALES

Model Home Now Open! Call For Appointment

1519 Bayshore Rd., Villas, N.J. 08251

609-886-9400 or 609-425-1139 AS SHOWN

Set & Delivered On Your Lot $85,900 27’4” x 44’ / 58’ 1394 Sq. Ft. 3 Bedrooms / 2 Baths

Prices starting at $49,990 set on your foundation. 2 bedroom, 1 bath, 900 sq. ft. ranch.

(Permits not included)

Featuring homes by Integrity Building Systems. Fast - Easy - Affordable & You can do it yourself. Ranch Cape Cod Two Story We design homes to fit any lot size & if needed, we will assist you from start to finish. Demolition - Site Improvements - Foundation Heat & Air Conditioning - Decks - Garages - Any & All Improvements

NJ LIC# 041288 Financing Available Through: 18 | WildwoodMag.com

Mortgage

c l a s s i f i e d s Attention all Wildwood Catholic Alumni Desperately seeking updated information from all Wildwood Catholic Alumni! Please forward all your updated information: name, current address, email address as well as all phone numbers to either; wchsalumni@gmail.com or directly to wchs alumni at 15th & Central Aves., North Wildwood, NJ 08260. In order to keep Wildwood Catholic alive a strong alumni is critical to our success! Web site: www.savewildwoodcatholic.com 1999 Ford E-250 Van White - with ladder rack and interior shelving. $2,500. Or bo Call for more info 886-8300 Line dance lessons Line dance- lessons with Miss Susan - all levels, all ages, country -soul- oldies- and more. Your place or mine. Private/group Classes now forming for summer at Atilis Gym Pacific Ave Wildwood. Call 215-3353232 or email misssusansdance@tripod.com

Janet. Lisa & Marie

Refresh your beach home Give your beach house a fresh boost. With new flooring. Or maybe all you need is a rekick what ever you need we do it . We sell and install all the top flooring brands of carpets, laminated wood floors, and vinyls. Only one call and let us do the rest full home service. Let us come to you and just take a look at what we have to offer. Contact: Tommy C Floors 609-6756137 Summer rental in wildwood. This practically brand new 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom condominium has everything you will desire: • 1 1/2 Blocks from the beach, boardwalk and convention center! • Just a few minutes from cape may! • Sleeps 8 people comfortably • Spacious balcony with ocean view • 2 Car garage • Washer & dryer • Central air conditioning • Located within walking distance to great restaurants, internet café • Shops and across the street from an ice cream parlor - no car necessary! Contact:Vincent Biunno 201-704-3939

Zumba

Come and meet Shore Fitness Center’s 3 Zumba instructors Kim, Angie and Marge. Shore fitness center is located inside Atilis Gym at 3015 Pacific Avenue in Wildwood. See you there! Contact: Kimberly Rightnour 609-741-1006 Jet Boat For Sale 2003 Sugarsand Tango Supersport Jet Boat, WOW! This boat has 240 h.p. of outrageous fun. It truly is a sports car on the water. 17´ but it has plenty of room and lots of storage for all of your gear.This boat is truly one of a kind! Fire engine red, this boat has always been spoiled rotten, and is clean, clean & clean inside and out. Also comes with custom cover and has Karavan galvanized trailer. Many extras, call Dave for more information at 267-254-8274.

TO PLACE A FREE CLASSIFIED AD VISIT WILDWOODMAG.COM OR CALL 609-522-6222

Tiffany, Shannon & Deb

A promise is a cloud; fulfillment is rain. ~Arabian Proverb

WildwoodMag.com | 19

Joan & Chrisy @ Philly’s Fallen Heroes Memorial Motorcycle Ride

Hellraisers MC @ Philly’s Fallen Heroes Memorial Motorcycle Ride

After the Great Britain Beer Festival, in London, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer. The guy from Corona sits down and says, “Hey Senor, I would like the world’s best beer, a Corona.” The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him. The guy from Budweiser says, “I’d like the best beer in the world, give me ‘The King Of Beers’, a Budweiser.” The bartender gives him one. The guy from Coors says, “I’d like the only beer made with Rocky Mountain spring water, give me a Coors.” He gets it. The guy from Guinness sits down and says, “Give me a Coke.” The bartender is a little taken aback, but gives him what he ordered. The other brewery presidents look over at him and ask “Why aren’t you drinking a Guinness?” and the Guinness president replies, “Well, I figured if you guys aren’t drinking beer, neither would I.”

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20 | WildwoodMag.com

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Robin & June @ Philly’s Fallen Heroes Memorial Motorcycle Ride

Jim & Mike @ Philly’s Fallen Heroes Memorial Motorcycle Ride

An idea not coupled with action will never get any bigger than the brain cell it occupied. ~Arnold Glasow

WildwoodMag.com | 21

Inspirations never go in for long engagements; they demand immediate marriage to action. ~Brendan Francis

Steve, Laura & Reno @ Philly’s Fallen Heroes Memorial Motorcycle Ride

Melanie & Steve @ Philly’s Fallen Heroes Memorial Motorcycle Ride

Computer Repair • FREE NO OBLIGATION DIAGNOSIS • Fixed or free guarantee • Most computers ﬁxed in 1 business day • Virus, spyware and malware removal • Data recovery • Upgrades

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4909 Pacific Avenue, Wildwood 609-522-6222 22 | WildwoodMag.com

La Piazza Cucina I

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Bullets MC @ Philly’s Fallen Heroes Memorial Motorcycle Ride

Dave, Frank & Mickey @ Philly’s Fallen Heroes Memorial Motorcycle Ride

Small deeds done are better than great deeds planned. ~Peter Marshall

WildwoodMag.com | 23

Sal’s

#1 Since 1979

Ristorante & Pizzeria

Celebrating 31 Years!

Now Open Next Door

Maura and Jerry Moore at Crest Tavern

ecilia CGelateria

Pasticceria

You’re Reading

ildwood

Caffe Bar

8500 New Jersey Ave • Wildwood Crest

609-729-7606

www.SalsPizzeriaRestaurant.com

M a g a z i n e

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Peter will serve you a great frozen drink at Beach Creek’s outdoor waterfront bar Noelle, Cori and Tara at Beach Creek . . . argueably the best looking wait staff in the Wildwoods 24 | WildwoodMag.com

Never mistake motion for action. ~Ernest Hemingway

Howard & Linda @ Crest Tavern

Joe & Rosemarie @ Crest Tavern

Michelle’s Island Cuts

Formerly Paciﬁc Cuts

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Action is eloquence. ~William Shakespeare

Garda MC @ Philly’s Fallen Heroes Memorial Motorcycle Ride

There was a pilot flying a small single engine charter plane, with a couple of very important executives on board. He was coming into Seattle airport through thick fog with less than 10m visibility when his instruments went out. So he began circling around looking for landmark. After an hour or so, he starts running pretty low on fuel and the passengers are getting very nervous. Finally, a small opening in the fog appears and he sees a tall building with one guy working alone on the fifth floor. The pilot banks the plane around, rolls down the window and shouts to the guy “Hey, where am I? To this, the solitary office worker replies “You’re in a plane.” The pilot rolls up the window, executes a 275 degree turn and proceeds to execute a perfect blind landing on the runway of the airport 5 miles away. Just as the plane stops, so does the engine as the fuel has run out. The passengers are amazed and one asks how he did it. “Simple” replies the pilot, “I asked the guy in that building a simple question. The answer he gave me was 100 percent correct, but absolutely useless, therefore that must be Microsoft’s support office and from there the airport is just a while away.”

26 | WildwoodMag.com

Lizzy & Ashley @ Duffers

Dessert’s on us!

3 FREE COOKIES

with delivery orders only

must mention coupon when placing order so driver will have cookies. expires: 07/14/2010

free delivery*

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3111 Paciﬁc Avenue, Wildwood

609-522-6511

Open Year Round Serving Breakfast Lunch & Dinner Voted Best of the Shore “Diner” -Philadelphia Magazine 2006 & 2010

Early Bird Specials 3-5:30pm 7 days a week Full Course Dinner Specials

Kari & Shannon @ Philly’s Fallen Heroes Memorial Motorcycle Ride

Christa & Dana @ The Wildwood Boardwalk

325 West Spruce Avenue • North Wildwood 609-729-4900 Fax 609-729-4050 Major Credit Cards Accepted Take Out Available www.stardinercafe.com

Matt & Meagan @ The Wildwood Boardwalk

A barking dog is often more useful than a sleeping lion. ~Washington Irving, adapted from a verse in the Bible

WildwoodMag.com | 27

Little Angelos Crew @ The Wildwood Boardwalk

Brice & Tommy @ The Wildwood Boardwalk

The past can’t see you, but the future is listening. ~Terri Guillemets

Jersey Bait & Tackle 124 West Chestnut Avenue North Wildwood, NJ 609-522-7060

Totally Casual Your Outdoor Furniture Store

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ELECTRICAL SERVICE Licensed Electrician - Lic. #14939 100 East 7th Avenue North Wildwood, NJ 08260

609-522-1829

Brittany & Doug @ Duffers

Ryan & Maureen

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Nothing diminishes anxiety faster than action. ~Walter Anderson, The Confidence Course, 1997

Bola, Steve, Vasilis & Tador @ The Wildwood Boardwalk

Double Duce @ Philly’s Fallen Heroes Memorial Motorcycle Ride

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30 | WildwoodMag.com

If ifs were gifts, every day would be Christmas. ~Charles Barkley

Pete & Krissy @ Philly’s Fallen Heroes Memorial Motorcycle Ride

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Center City Video Outlet

3115 Pacific Avenue • Wildwood • (609) 522-2253 (corner of pine & pacific) OPEN DAILY FROM 10AM Features will vary by phone and rate plan. Terms, conditions & other restrictions apply. See store for details. Service: Requires $15 activation fee. Rates exclude taxes & fees (including a regulatory recovery fee of up to $1.40). The regulatory recovery fee is not a tax or government-required charge. 3G & unlimited coverage not available everywhere; coverage maps at mycricket. com.

The Feeling Is Italy The Taste Is Gia Open 4:30 pm Till ? Closed Tues. and Wed. Available for Catering • Gift Certificates

3001 Pacific Avenue, Wildwood, NJ (609) 729-5959 WildwoodMag.com | 31

23 2010

val 5K Set one Harbor

given to the best-dressed team and largest team. The Festival will feature fun for the whole family with children’s activities, on-site interactive exhibits and tons of free goodies. The main stage will be rockin’ all day (from 7:30 a.m. – noon), with music, on-stage acts, mascot appearances and raffle item giveaways. • Join the Philadelphia Eagles Cheerleaders for a cheerleading clinic · Take part in physical fitness challenge from the US Navy • Get free medical screenings, including blood pressure and cholesterol testing • Learn how to use the new Hollywood fad – the stand-up paddleboards (Page A30 Please)

Dining & Entertainment Meet the Creative Team At East Lynne Theatre CAPE MAY — Meet the creative team behind East Lynne Theater Company’s world premiere of “Emma Goldman: My Life.” How difficult is it to create a brand new show – a production that no one has ever seen before? How and why do playwrights, actors, directors, and stage managers do what they do? And who is Emma Goldman? Immediately after the show on Friday, June 25, audience members will have the opportunity to ask these and other questions of the crew that brought the world premiere of “Emma Goldman: My Life” to East Lynne Theater Company’s stage. ELTC’s Artistic Director Gayle Stahlhuth asked actress/playwright Lorna Lable if she would be interested in creating a onewoman show about Emma

Goldman. Lorna began her research and finished the first draft in February 2008. “Emma Goldman: My Life” runs from June 16 through July 10, every Wednesday through Saturday at 8:30 p.m., where the company is in residence at The First Presbyterian Church, 500 Hughes St., Cape May. Tickets are $28 general admission; $23 for seniors and those with disabilities and their support companions; and $13 for full-time students. Children ages 12 and under are always free. Season tickets are available through June 30. For information and reservations, call 609-884-5898 or visit www.eastlynnetheater.org. To make a reservation using a credit card, call 866-280-9211.

www.CapeMayCountyHerald.com

A29

L I VE

ENTERTAINMENT

MONDAY $3 Angus Burgers, Bud Light Drafts $1.50, All Day • All Night Open Pool

TUESDAY

All-U-Can Eat Dungeness Crabs 4-9 Ice Cold Ponies in a Bucket

WEDNESDAY

All Day/All Night, All-U-Can-Eat U Peel Shrimp • $3 Import Bottles & Drafts

TGIF HAPPY HOUR

1/2 Price Apps (Bar Only 5-7) $2 Domestic Bottles (4-7pm)

Every Day Lunch & Dinner Specials

Deal or No Deal Sindi Raymond DJ Fran Elliot Mr. Moose DJ Chipper with Trivia & Music DJ Chipper with Name That Tune

Wed. Thurs. Fri. Sat. Sun. Mon.

COMING Sat. 7/3 Sat. 7/10 Sat. 7/16

The Nobody Band Eddie’s Game Jamison Band

3rd & New York Aves., N. Wildwood • 609-522-7759 • Open 11am - 3am • Year Round

LIVE ENTERTAINMENT

Nightly 6-10pm (See Grid pg A38)

Avalon to Host Bay-Atlantic Symphony for July 4 Concert

Racheal & Bridgett

7 DAYS!

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AVALON — Avalon is making final preparations for what is expected to be the biggest celebration of America’s birthday at the Jersey Shore. The worldrenowned Bay-Atlantic Symphony will be presenting a concert on Sun., July 4, at 6 p.m. inside the Avalon Community Hall. After the concert, Avalon will present one of the biggest fireworks displays in the state of New Jersey at approximately 8:45 p.m. “This July 4 weekend

Bookworm PE MAY • 609-884-8363

www.merioninn.com

in Avalon will truly be a celebration of America,” said Avalon Mayor Martin Pagliughi. “We are very honored to have the BayAtlantic Symphony call Avalon its summer home, and the borough is excited to present an evening filled with music, and family activities.” The Bay-Atlantic Symphony will begin its fourth summer of Avalon performances with a presentation entitled “July 4th: Fanfares and Fireworks.” It will feature an all-American patriotic celebration of our country. The Bay-Atlantic Symphony is conducted by Maestro and Music Director Jed Gaylin, who has performed in the United States, Europe, and Asia. Gaylin has been the Music Director for the symphony for the past 13 years, and has performed with many orchestras. The concert is sponsored by the Borough of Avalon, the Avalon Depar tment of Recreation, and Sturdy Savings Bank. It is free, and open to the public. Seating will be done on a fi rst come, fi rst served basis. The borough will also set up speakers along the boardwalk to allow the performance to be heard by thousands of people who will participate in outdoor activities in advance of Avalon’s major fi reworks presentation. Music that accompanies the fireworks display will be simulcast on radio station WCZT 98.7, the Coast. For additional details about the Avalon Family Fun Festival, visit Avalon’s o f f i c i a l w e b s i t e , w w w. avalonboro.org.

“For Heaven’s sake, Chris, why can’t you talk to me once in a while?” Julie whined.

CASUAL FAMILY DINING “What?”

Chris replied.

around!” Julie yelled, as she pointed around the room. CORD “Look C AFE “Look at all these books! You always have your head buried in

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the e at et m T ”

“Me

Tim & Micky 32 | WildwoodMag.com

VILLAS — Members of the “Old Coots” motorcycle group will hold a benefit Saturday for Raymond ‘Hollywood’ Liddy. Registration for the event is between noon and 2 p.m. Location is Steve’s 47 Café, Rt. 47, Indian Trail Dias Creek. Cost is $10 per bike. For further information or the bicycle route, call Ed at 302-249-9851.

OPEN DAILY Lunch from 12 noon Dinner from 4pm HAPPY HOUR 4:00 - 5:30pm Mon.-Thurs. Drink & Appetizer Specials

TUESDAY Wing Night THURSDAY Prime Rib Night

Beach & Browning Ave., North Cape May • 886-5529 • www.harpoonhenrys.net

H H H H

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Open from 4pm Offering The Wharf’s favorite dishes with a new twist

ATTENTION NOSY PEOPLE Happy Hour in the Tap Room 4-6pm Daily

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Early Evening Dinner Menu $15 4-5pm

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Ladies Night 7-10 pm

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Outdoor Deck Open Daily at 11:30am

LIVE ENTERTAINMENT

Thurs.Captain Larr y 3-6pm Fri. Tommy Zito 3-6pm • Rusty Lovin 7-11pm Sat. Sindi Raymond 3-10pm Sun. Juliano Brothers 3-7pm Mon. Captain Larr y 3-6pm • Tommy Zito 7-10pm

708 W. Burk Ave., Wildwood • 609-522-6336

Now You Can Listen Live to the Police, Fire & Rescue Scanner @ WildwoodMag.com

Example is the school of mankind, and they will learn at no other. ~Edmund Burke

6 Teachers Celibrating the end of schhool

You’re Reading

ildwood

M a g a z i n e

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We accept humorous short stories, essays, personal experience pieces, opinions, jokes, anything that makes us laugh. So, submit your stuff to: editor@wildwoodmag.com

Jillian, Kelsey & Kaileigh

Warehouse

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Opinionated? Skilled with artistic and satirical flair?

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Submit your cartoons to: editor@wildwoodmag.com

Expires 7/10/2010

ildwood

M a g a z i n e

WildwoodMag.com | 33

Talk doesn’t cook rice. ~Chinese Proverb

Joe & Ick

S AK E T • S FOOD EA D •S AN ERS G UR •B

Ron & Jean

Island

HAPPY HOUR

LIVE MUSIC

4 TO 6 AT THE BAR

Syd Kelly on Thurs. & Friday

1/2 Price Appetizers Discount Drinks at the bar 2 2 2 E . S C H E L L E N G E R AV E N U E • O P E N D A I LY F R O M 3 : 3 0 P M 34 | WildwoodMag.com

ILD R ME EN’S NU

•

(609) 522-5226 F R E E PA R K I N G

A drunk goes into a bar. He is very, very drunk can hardly stand up. He slurs his way up to the bar and says: “Hey, bartender! Gimme a martini!” “No, no,” says the bartender. “You’ve had too much already.” The drunk spies a dart board behind the bar. “Tell you what,” he says. “If I can throw three bull’s eyes with that dart set would you let me have the drink?” “Sure,” says the bartender, thinking the guy would leave after the little game. He hands the drunk three darts. “Look out, everybody!” Zot, zot, zot. The drunk throws three quick bull’s eyes. Well, the bartender had never seen anything like that before, but he has to make good on the wager, so he makes a martini and sets it before the drunk. He then puts a napkin next to the drink and sets a turtle on it. “What’s this,” says the drunk. “That’s a prize for such fine dart throwing,” says the bartender. The drunk drinks his martini, picks up the turtle, puts it in his coat pocket, and leaves. Well, the next night, the same drunk goes into the same bar. Again, he is hopelessly inebriated; totally faced. “Bartender,” he says. “Gimme a martini!” “No, no,” says the bartender. “You’re too drunk already. Go home.” Again the drunk notices the darts. “If I can throw three bull’s eyes would you gimme the martini?” he asks. The bartender thinks, “This guy can’t be that lucky again. I’ll get rid of him.” “Sure, sure,” he says, handing the darts over. Bip, bip, bip. Three bull’s eyes. “Holy cow,” says the bartender, and he gives the drunk guy a martini. Again, he sets a turtle next to it. “What’s this?” asks the drunk. “That’s a prize for being such a good shot.” “Oh,” says the drunk, and he quaffs his martini, puts the turtle in his coat pocket, and leaves. Believe it or not, the very next night the same drunk enters the same bar. “Gimme a martini!” he demands. “No, no,” says the bartender. “You’ve been overserved already. Get on home.” Spying the dart board once more, the drunk guy says:”Would tossing three bull’s eyes prove that I’m not overserved?” The bartender can’t believe that anybody this drunk could possibly hit the dart board, let alone get three bull’s eyes. “OK,” he says, forking over the three darts. The drunk deftly grabs all three darts and tosses them simultaneously. Thwock! All three darts land solidly in the bull’s eye! “Unbelievable!” says the incredulous bartender. True to his word, he prepares a martini and sets it before the drunk guy. He then lays a beautiful long-stem rose on the bar next to the cocktail. “What’s this?” asks the drunk. “That’s a special prize for being so good at darts,” says the bartender. “Oh,” says the drunk. “All out of roast beef on a hard roll, huh?”

Ann & Carole @ Duffers

Well, my terminal’s locked up, and I ain’t got any Mail, And I can’t recall the last time that my program didn’t fail I’ve got stacks in my structs, I’ve got arrays in my queues, I’ve got the : Segmentation violation - Core dumped blues. If you think that it’s nice that you get what you C, Then go : illogical statement with your whole family. Because the Supreme Court ain’t the only place with : Bus error views. I’ve got the : Segmentation violation - Core dumped blues. On a PDP-11, life should be a breeze, But with VAXen in the house even magnetic tapes would freeze. Now you might think that unlike VAXen I’d know who I abuse, I’ve got the : Segmentation violation - Core dumped blues!

WildwoodMag.com | 35

Be content to act, and leave the talking to others. ~Baltasar Gracian

Sherre, Carl & Gail @ Philly’s Fallen Heroes Memorial Motorcycle Ride

Spence, Jamie, Adrian & Josh

•SERVICE •MAINTENANCE •INSTALLATION

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Jackie @ Philly’s Fallen Heroes Memorial Motorcycle Ride I’d Do Anything A student comes to a young professor’s office. She glances down the hall, closes his door, kneels pleadingly. “I would do anything to pass this exam.” She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes. “I mean..” she whispers, “..I would do ANYTHING!!” He returns her gaze. “Anything??” “Yes,.. Anything!” She says. His voice turns to a whisper. “Would you.. study??”

Who Knew Tequila, Lime And Ice Could Be SOOOOOOO Nice? (Truth Is We Did)

Garfield & Pacific • 3801 Pacific Ave.

WILDWOOD,NJ 609-729-6500 Steve & Sue

www.juanpablosmargaritabar.com WildwoodMag.com | 37

RICKS

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OFFERING FRESH & COOKED SEAFOOD TAKE OUT PLATTERS SHRIMP • CLAMS • CRABS SCALLOPS & ALL TYPES OF FRESH FISH

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Lodge 7, Wildwood PD & NJ State PD @ Philly’s Fallen Heroes Memorial Motorcycle Ride

(Heck, we’ll even settle for droll, mildly vitriolic and handy with a pen.)

Submit your cartoons to: editor@wildwoodmag.com

Wing It Wednesday 35¢ Each Trinity Thursdays Cup of Soup of the Day, Small House Salad & 1/2 Cold Sandwich

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HAPPY HOUR ALL DAY – EVERY DAY Domestic Mugs $1.00 Yuengling Lt. Bottles $1.50

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38 | WildwoodMag.com

Terry, Laura, Debbie & Roseann

“Discount” Uniform Center Specializing in Uniforms for All Professions • MEDICAL • RESTAURANT • CHEF WEAR • MOTEL • SECURITY • EXECUTIVE

Embroidery & Screen Printing Services Available

Tuxedo Rentals Wedding Specialist Joyce & George Ziegler (609) 522-0024

BEST SALAD BAR!

Serving Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner Daily from 7am

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W M

14th & New Jersey Avenue, North Wildwood • 729-5511 Visit Us on the Web: www.vegasdiner.net

Mariannew & Janelle @ Philly’s Fallen Heroes Memorial Motorcycle Ride

All know the way; few actually walk it. ~Bodhidharma

WildwoodMag.com | 39

A Fabulous Retro-Style Diner

A Blast From the Past The Best Breakfast On the Island

NEW! OUTDOOR VERANDA DINING

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10 Off %

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Now Open! Breakfast - Lunch - Dinner Corner of Rio Grande & Pacific Ave., Wildwood 522-0550

Linda & Maureen

Barb & Joe

If your work speaks for itself, donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t interrupt. ~Henry J. Kaiser

40 | WildwoodMag.com

The first step binds one to the second. ~French Proverb

Ed & Estelle

Andrew, Mitch,Derek & Erin @ Duffers

Bar Open 4pm Next Door Luna’s Night Club Opento10pm Garden Dining Room Proper Dress & ID Required And New Al Fresco Cafe

First you’ve got to set the mood…

729-0120

729-0120 Saturday June 12

Casual Atmosphere Al Fresco Dining ~ Wines & Spirits Cappuccino ~ Espresso

6pm-10pm

Night Club Open 10pm Proper Dress & ID Required

Italian menu in our garden room or in our new al fresco garden Craft Beers

3800 Pacific Ave. Wildwood, NJ www.LunaNJ.com Fruit N Ice Frozen Specialties featuring CRUZAN Flavored RUMS

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BarAppetizers Menu Available ½ Price (at the bar) Bar Menu TVs Available Plasma Fruit N Ice Frozen Specialties DJ Revolution X Fri & Sat 10pm

Deliberation is a function of the many; action is the function of one. ~Charles de Gaulle, War Memoirs, 1960

Dizzy @ The Wildwood Boardwalk

el t o M r o f d r a d n a t t S n e e h m t e g g a n Man Setti m u i n i m o d n o C and

42 | WildwoodMag.com

April & Sandy

Action is the antidote to despair. ~Joan Baez

Lisa & April

Dolce Italia Pizzeria & Restaurant

Eat-In • Take-Out • Free Delivery

(609) 522-6228

Henry & Jami @ The Wildwood Boardwalk

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44 | WildwoodMag.com

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WildwoodMag.com | 45

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A truck driver, hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers, stops for a beer. As he approaches the bar, he sees a big sign on the door that says, “COMPUTER NERDS NOT ALLOWED - ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK!” He enters and sits down. The bartender comes over to him, sniffs, and says that he smells kind of nerdy. He then asks him what he does for a living. The truck driver explains to him that he drives a truck, and the smell is just from the computers he is hauling. The bartender serves him a beer and says, “OK, truck drivers aren’t nerds.” As he is sipping his beer, a skinny guy walks in wearing a pair of glasses with tape around the middle, a pocket protector with twelve kinds of pens and pencils, and a belt that is at least a foot too long. The bartender, without saying a word, pulls out a shotgun and blows the guy away. The truck driver asks him why he did that. The bartender replied, “Don’t worry. The computer nerds are in season because they are overpopulating Silicon Valley. You don’t even need a license.” So the truck driver finishes his beer, gets back in his truck, and heads for the freeway. Suddenly, he veers to avoid an accident, and the load shifts. The back door breaks open and computers spill out all over the road. He jumps out and sees a crowd already forming, snatching up all of the computers. The scavengers are comprised of engineers, accountants and programmers - computer geeks. Each of them wearing the nerdiest clothes he has ever seen. He can’t let them steal his whole load. So remembering what happened in the bar, he pulls out his gun and starts blasting away, killing several of them instantly. A highway patrol officer comes zooming up and jumps out of the car screaming at him to stop. The truck driver said, “What’s wrong? I thought computer nerds were in season.” “Well, sure,” says the patrolman, “But you can’t bait ‘em!”

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Real Facts A giraffe can clean its ears with its 21-inch tongue. Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying. The pitches that Babe Ruth hit for his last-ever homerun and that Joe DiMaggio hit for his first-ever homerun where thrown by the same man. Bats always turn left when exiting a cave. The praying mantis is the only insect that can turn its head. In Tokyo, they sell toupees for dogs. There are over 52.6 million dogs in the U.S. Dogs and cats consume almost $7 billion worth of pet food a year. Baby robins eat 14 feet of earthworms every day. The Pentagon has twice as many restrooms as necessary. When it was built, segregation was still in place in Virginia, so separate restrooms for blacks and whites were required by law. In England, in the 1880’s, “Pants” was considered a dirty word. Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin. In 2003, there were 86 days of below-freezing weather in Hell, Michigan.

WildwoodMag.com | 47

George, Mary & Dan @ Philly’s Fallen Heroes Memorial Motorcycle Ride

Kathy & Irena

Jillian & Jerry

Sandy & Bill

A young guy from Minnesota moves to Florida and goes to a big everything-under-one-roof department store looking for a job. Well, the boss liked the kid and gave him the job. ‘You start tomorrow. I’ll come down after we close and see how you did.’ His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down. ‘How many customers bought something from you today?’ The kid says, ‘One.’ The boss says, ‘Just one? Our sales people average 20 to 30 customers a day. How much was the sale for?’ The kid says, $101,237.65.’ The boss says, $101,237.65? What the heck did you sell?’ The kid says, ‘First, I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him a medium fishhook. Then I sold him a larger fishhook. Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing, and he said down the coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went down to the boat department, and I sold him a twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn’t think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4x4 Expedition.’ The boss said ‘A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a BOAT and a TRUCK?’ The kid said ‘No, the guy came in here to buy Tampons for his wife, and I said, ‘Dude, your weekend’s shot, you should go fishing’

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50 | WildwoodMag.com

Nature takes away any faculty that is not used. ~William R. Inge

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Our faith in the present dies out long before our faith in the future. ~Ruth Benedict

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Celebrating Our 40th Year My Rules Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules: “I’ll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want-and I don’t expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you that I won’t be home for dinner. I’ll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don’t you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?” His new bride said, “No, that’s fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o’clock every night.. whether you’re here or not.”

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In skating over thin ice, our safety is in our speed. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

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Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced. ~James Baldwin

56 | WildwoodMag.com

One’s action ought to come out of an achieved stillness: not to be a mere rushing on. ~D.H. Lawrence

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Action will remove the doubts that theory cannot solve. ~Tehyi Hsieh

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Spaghetti A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for a few years. One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to have the child. If she stayed in Italy, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18. She agreed, but wondered how he would know when the baby was born. To keep it discrete, he told her to mail him a post card, and write “Spaghetti” on the back. He would then arrange for child support. One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife. “Honey,” she said, “you received a very strange post card today.” “Oh, just give it to me and I’ll explain it later,” he said. The wife obeyed, and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted.

www.NormalDave.com 58 | WildwoodMag.com

On the card was written “Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Two with meatballs, one without.”

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Trust only movement. Life happens at the level of events, not of words. Trust movement. ~Alfred Adler

60 | WildwoodMag.com

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Men expect too much, do too little. ~Allen Tate

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Health Tips from Dr. Einstein Q: Aren’t fried foods bad for you? A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food are fried these day in vegetable oil. In fact, they permeated by it. How could getting more vegetable be bad for you?!? Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle? A: Definitely not! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach. AND REMEMBER . . .

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming “WOO-HOO, what a ride!!”

Impossible to Please A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: “For Women Only.” Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in. The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. “We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It’s easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what’s inside.” So they start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: “All the men on this floor are short and plain.” The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor.

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The sign on the second floor reads: “All the men here are short and handsome.” Still, this isn’t good enough, so the friends continue on up. They reach the third floor and the sign reads: “All the men here are tall and plain.” They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they continued on up. On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: “All the men here are tall and handsome.” The women get all excited and are going in when they realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering what they are missing, they head on up to the fifth floor. There they find a sign that reads: “There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman.”

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• Cleanse yourself with Wake-up Yoga, or let the kids bend, twist and curl with Kids Yoga • Get your face painted and play with balloon art • Get up close to sea life at the sea creature exhibit from the New Jersey Academy for Aquatic Sciences For more information on the Jaws Youth Fund Fitness Festival, go to www. JawsYouthFund.orgto register for the 5K go to www. Active.com (and type in Jaworski). Proceeds from the Fitness Festival will benefit the Jaws Youth Fund and the programs it supports. Dave & Danielle The Jaws Youth Fund is a partnership of the family of Ron Jaworski and the United Way of Camden County. The initiative is designed to impact at-risk youth.

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WildwoodMag.com | 65 Take Out Available 5401 Atlantic Ave., Wildwood Crest • 609-523-0999 • www.LittleItalyWildwood.com

REMEMBERING THE “SUMMER OF JAWS” da... dun daaa... dun da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da... (Alright, so humming that creepy score comes across much more effectively than typing it!) This week marks the 35th anniversary of the release of Jaws, the film often credited with creating - and defining - the summer blockbuster genre. The second project completed by then-28-year-old director Steven Spielberg, it became the first movie to gross over $100 million at the box office. In fact, it accomplished that feat by the end of the Summer of 1975. The tale of a killer shark terrorizing a small resort town sent moviegoers into a frenzy, nationwide. But in the Wildwoods, the story resonated in a unique way. Jaws ran all summer long at the old Blaker Theater with up to three showings daily. Sellouts were the norm at the 600-seat former vaudeville house, with long lines extending down the Cedar Avenue Boardwalk ramp and rapping around the corner onto bustling Atlantic Ave. Locals surely remember Vince Sculli, who came to be known as “Joe Jaws.” Sculli held court daily at the Blaker, ultimately taking in 68 presentations of Jaws that summer. Wildwood 365 is celebrating Jaws all week with a variety of daily features, including a three-part interview with Sculli entitled “Catching up with Joe Jaws.” Head on over to www.wildwood365.com and share your favorite Jaws memories with us! Jaws Facts & Trivia * The movie was an adaptation of the best-selling novel of the same name by Peter Benchley. It was inspired by several real-life encounters, most notably the infamous Jersey Shore shark attacks of 1916. * The film won three Academy Awards in 1975: - Music (Original Score): John Williams - Sound: Robert L. Hoyt, Roger Heman, Earl Madery, John Carter - Film Editing: Verna Fields * One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest won for Best Picture * Jaws was voted #48 on AFI’s 100 Greatest American Movies of All Time list * Steven Spielberg named the mechanical shark Bruce, after his lawyer. Upon its initial launching, it sank. Curiously, it hadn’t previously been tested for water. Because the robot often malfunctioned, Spielberg adopted the technique of shooting from the shark’s eye level. Many consider this to be what ultimately led to the film’s scary appeal. * Benchley wanted Robert Redford, Paul Newman, and Steve McQueen to play the lead roles. Lee Marvin turned down the role of Quint. A Boatful of Memorable Quotes Jaws remains one of the most quotable movies ever. Some of the more famous lines have permeated pop culture awareness and are used with regularity in daily conversation, television commercials, etc. Here’s a sampling of some of our favorite quotes... Matt Hooper (Richard Dreyfuss): I’m not going to waste my time arguing with a man who’s lining up to be a hot lunch. That’s a twenty footer! Sam Quint (Robert Shaw): Twenty-five. Three tons of him. Chief Martin Brody (Roy Scheider): We’re gonna need a bigger boat. Quint: The thing about a shark, it’s got lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll’s eyes. When it comes at you it doesn’t seem to be livin’... until he bites you, and those black eyes roll over white. Quint: You know that was the time I was most frightened? Waitin’ for my turn. I’ll never put on a lifejacket again. So, eleven hundred men went into the water. Three hundred and sixteen men come out, the sharks took the rest, June the twenty-ninth, nineteen-forty five. Anyway, we delivered the bomb.

66 | WildwoodMag.com

By: Al Alven Morey’s Piers “mega coaster” concept inching closer to reality According to a report in last week’s Wildwood Leader, the mega coaster being planned by Morey’s Piers is now awaiting a CAFRA permit after gaining approvals from the Wildwood zoning board and North Wildwood planning board. This will, presumably, be the ﬁnal step before the physical work can begin toward bringing this spectacular concept to life. The state-of-the-art coaster is being designed to span two piers. Beginning on Surfside Pier, it will then travel across the beach (between 26th & Juniper) and continue onto Hunt’s Pier, before eventually returning to Surfside. Doran Clark of the Morey Organization has estimated that the project will take approximately one year “in fabrication” and one year of on-site construction. Given those estimates, the 2013 season ﬁgures to be a decent bet for the debut of this landmark attraction. North Wildwood beach replenishment project underway

Photo Al Alven

Work began last week on a project to fill areas of the beach in North Wildwood that were depleted during a series of storms this past winter. The areas around 2nd & 3rd Avenues are being addressed first, with 50,000 cubic yards of sand for replenishment. The second stage will focus on the beach between 11th & 22nd Aves. The third stage - between 22nd & 26th Aves. - figures to be the most tricky, as the dunes within that stretch need to be completely rebuilt. At present, there is no bathing beach there during high tide. The project is expected to move quickly, with the goal being to have all work done before the Fourth of July. Vintage Vacation Memories This week’s vintage family vacation photo come to us courtesy of Mark Peyko, publisher of the Monthly Metro in Youngstown, Ohio. Mark’s family history in the Wildwoods goes back over seven decades. In the late 1940s, his Uncle Ed and cousin Eddie built a cottage near what is now Shawcrest and Lavender Roads, southwest of the Rio Grande drawbridge. Here is Mark (on the right) with his older brother Chris, on vacation in Wildwood during the mid-1960s. Mark recalls of the family’s Volkswagen Bus: “It felt like it never exceeded 40 mph on the Pennsylvania Turnpike, but it was really roomy.” Thanks to Mark for sharing this wonderful memory with us! Each week, we will feature new vintage vacation photos. If you have pics you would like to share, drop us a line at wildwood365@gmail.com. Include as much info as you would like, including names of those in the photo(s), location, particular vacation memories, etc. 5 Mile Beach Trivia In honor of Jaws, this week’s trivia is about the movie theaters of the Wildwoods. William C. Hunt, the namesake of the famous Hunt’s Pier amusement center, established his business empire through his success in the film industry. In addition to the aforementioned Blaker, how many Hunt’s Theatre Inc. entities can you name? Hints: Only one former Hunt’s theater remains in operation, on the Boardwalk. Two others are still standing - one long dormant and the other completely transformed into something else. Three others were located within a block of each other on Atlantic Avenue, between Cedar & Schellenger. Bonus points if you can name additional Hunt’s theaters outside of the Wildwoods. Last week, we asked for the previous two names of the Pink Cadillac Diner at Atlantic & Garfield Aves. It originally operated as the Atlantic Diner and later became Big Ernie’s Fabulous 50s Diner. Did you get it right?

Wildwood 365 is a new daily source for news, nostalgia, games/trivia and much more. Get your daily dose at

www.wildwood365.com

WildwoodMag.com | 67

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www.CapeMayCountyHerald.com

Cupid at Law ng Date Changed A guy walks into ow House a post office one

— Cape charm day on to daily see a self-guided middlennual Deof the House aged,tours balding manShow standing use’s open- from June 25 through Oct. at the counter methodically hanged to 31, from 1 p.m. to 4 p.m. placing on and “Love” Sundaysstamps to Fridays, bright pink envelopes with xth annual from 7 p.m. to 9 p.m. House, the Tours the home can hearts all overofthem. age at 115 be combined with dinnally set to ing packages and special He then takes out a per, June 18 events. Each visitor will fumereceive bottle aand starts spraythe public full-color program ing scent all over them. 25. book with information Cape May about the designers, prodw House, His ucts and vendors. curiosity getting the the MidAdmission is $10 for better of him, hefor goes up or the Arts adults and $7 children to the es (MAC) (agesbalding 3-12). man and y House asks & him Forwhat information about he is doing. & breakfast MAC’s year-round schedThe man says “I’m sending Cape May’s ule of tours, festivals, and out 1,000 Valentine cards . special events, call 609signed, ‘Guess who?’” piring de884-5404, 800-275-4278 -of-the art or visit MAC’s Web site at d historic “But www.capemaymac.org why?” asks the man.

A27

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72 | WildwoodMag.com

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WildwoodMag.com | 73

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74 | WildwoodMag.com

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Paul, Joe, Dave, Rick

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WILDWOOD CREST BOROUGH 6101 Pacific Avenue, Wildwood Crest, NJ 08260 Main Number: (609) 522 5176 Website: www.wildwoodcrest.org Clerk: (609) 522-5176 ext. 110 Police non-emergency: (609) 522-7446 Animal Control: Tri-County Animal Control Service 800-992PETS Municipal Court: (609) 522-5176 ext. 115. Hours: 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. Municipal Pool: (609) 522-0084 Scoop Taylor Park: 5800 Ocean Avenue, (609) 523-0018 Beach Patrol: (609) 522-3825 Library: 6301 Ocean Avenue, (609) 522-0564 Recreation: (609) 523-0202 Tax Assessor: (609) 522-5176 ext. 102 Tennis Courts: 6301 Atlantic Avenue, (609) 729-2628 Superintendent of Schools: (609) 729-3760 Tourism: (609) 522-0221 Bulk Pick-Up: regular bulk pick-ups, please call to make pickup and payment arrangements at (609) 522-7446 Construction: Zoning questions about new construction or additions and alterations to existing properties. call (609) 5226935 Hours: Monday through Friday, 9 a.m. to 2:30 p.m. IF I WERE MAYOR OF WILDWOOD CREST . . . I WOULD __________________________________________________ Send Responses to: frank@wildwoodmag.com

WILDWOOD CITY 4400 New Jersey Avenue, Wildwood, NJ 08260 (609) 522-2444 Website: www.wildwoodnj.org Clerk: (609) 522-2444 ext. 2208 Police non-emergency: (609) 522-2444 ext. 2300 Registar: (609) 522-2444 ext. 2209 Public Works: (609) 522-2444 ext. 2288 Tax Assessor: (609) 522-2444 ext. 2205 Fire Chief: (609) 522-2444 ext. 2260 Recreation: (609) 522-5837 Municipal Court: (609) 522-4924. Monday-Thursday, 8:30 a.m. to 4 p.m.; to 3:30 p.m. on Fridays Byrne Community Center: Maxwell Field, 401 W. Youngs Avenue. Open seven days a week, Monday - Friday open from 7 a.m.-10 p.m., Saturday open from 9 a.m.-5 p.m., Sunday open from 9 a.m.-noon. Beach Patrol: (609) 522-8258. Wildwood Beach Patrol is responsible for protecting approximately 1.25 miles of beach, from Cresse Avenue to 26th Street in Wildwood. IF I WERE MAYOR OF WILDWOOD . . . I WOULD __________________________________________________ Send Responses to: frank@wildwoodmag.com

78 | WildwoodMag.com

WEST WILDWOOD BOROUGH 701 New Glenwood Avenue, West Wildwood, New Jersey 08260 (609) 522-4845 Website: www.westwildwoodnj.org Clerk: (609) 522-4845 Police non-emergency: (609) 522-2396 Police Department: 701 West Glenwood Avenue, West Wildwood, 08260 (609) 522-4060 Municipal Court: (609) 522-4924 Public Works: (609) 522-4845. Trash and Recycling picked up weekly on Mondays. Tax Collector: (609) 522-4845 Bulk Trash: Each property owner requiring bulk trash picked up should call at least one week prior to the bulk pick up day which is the first Tuesday of the month. To schedule, call borough clerk at (609) 522-4845 IF I WERE MAYOR OF WEST WILDWOOD . . . I WOULD __________________________________________________ Send Responses to: frank@wildwoodmag.com

NORTH WILDWOOD 901 Atlantic Avenue, North Wildwood, NJ 08260 info@northwildwood.com Main number: (609) 522-2030 Website: www.northwildwood.com Police non-emergency: (609) 522-2411 Clerk: (609) 522-2030 ext. 1400 North Wildwood Council: Council meeting at 7 p.m. first Tuesday of each month and 10 a.m. third Tuesday of each month. Beach Patrol: North Wildwood Beach Patrol, 15th avenue and the Beach, North Wildwood, NJ 08260, (609) 522-4520 Public Works: (609) 522-4646 Parks Department: 1st and Central Avenue, (609) 522-4520 Recreation: North Wildwood Community Center, 900 Central Avenue, North Wildwood, NJ 08260, (609) 522-2955 Municipal Court: 901 Atlantic Avenue, North Wildwood, NJ 08260, (609) 729-3818. Hours are Monday to Friday 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. Tourism: 800-882-7787 Trash: Schedule through May 31 is: Anglesea-8th Ave. Mondays, 9th to 17th avenues Tuesdays, 18th to 26th Avenues Wednesdays. IF I WERE MAYOR OF NORTH WILDWOOD . . . I WOULD __________________________________________________ Send Responses to: frank@wildwoodmag.com

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After all is said and done, a lot more will have been said than done. ~Author Unknown

WildwoodMag.com | 79

The Girl Around Town By Natalie Cooper Last Wednesday, on my day off, I decided I wasn’t to do anything but relax and treat myself after a busy workweek. After spending most of the day bronzing on the beach, followed by leisurely swims in my backyard pool, I knew I had to make the most of the rest of my day off and carry over the fun until Echo’s Dollar Bottles later that night. This only meant one thing— going out to dinner. To say I talked my two friends who shared in my ventures with me throughout the day into continuing the party and going out to eat would be a lie. The only issue that sparked a questionable debate was choosing where to go. We thought about the island and all the restaurants we haven’t eaten at yet this summer. Of course there are new ones sprouting up on every corner, and of course we wanted to try them. But we couldn’t neglect the restaurants that have been around for what seems like forever, of which we’ve always heard about, but never tried. We decided on The Boathouse. We pulled up to the foot of the bridge and made the left into the parking lot and saw it in front of us. The Boathouse fits its name perfectly because that’s exactly what it looks like—a house. And get this—it sits on the bay. The Boathouse looked like the place to be for a nice night out, with the sun starting to lower in the sky and reflect off the tan siding of the three-story house, casting a rippled reflection out onto the water behind it. We walked up the wooden staircase and under the green awning, while little white lights glowed brightly as we passed by. When we ascended the staircase, a host waiting patiently greeted us. He informed us that we had to choose whether we wanted to sit in the inside dining room or outside on the deck, and that’s the nice thing about the restaurant—it’s almost like two separate restaurants, with each seating area presenting two totally different experiences. He insisted on us trying to inside dining room if we were in the mood for quality, gourmet dinners, naming off just a few of their famous entrees—mahimahi, tilapia, lobster, crab cake. If we were in the mood for a more casual experience, he insisted we take seats out on the deck, where more of a bar-style food is served—fried calamari, wraps, salads, shrimp cocktail. I looked in through the glass door at the inside dining room and saw a waiter speeding by with a tray, with another taking an order from a table of four sitting directly in the back of the room, with a perfect view of the water. Then I looked to my right and saw the outside seating area on the deck. And as a heard the first note of music sounding from the bar area, I was sold. While we took our seats at a table on the landing, we all agreed that we would save the inside dining room for another time, opting now for the more casual experience. And as we sat and waited for our food, I gazed out at the boats passing by peacefully, gliding on the water. I gazed at the other people gathered in groups, sitting and conversing and laughing, and I looked at the people sitting at the bar, chatting with the bartenders while watching the big game on the flat screen TV’s mounted above the bar, all the while as beach music hummed softly in the background. It was a relaxing experience, I concluded—one that I will definitely take part in again. Good food, good service, good atmosphere, and a good continuance to my relaxing day off.

Look for my column every week when I’m . . .

THE GIRL AROUND TOWN 80 | WildwoodMag.com

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WildwoodMag.com | 81

If you’re going to take advantage of the Buyer’s Market...

Do it right.

Right Now! From the bustling boardwalks to the peaceful sunsets there’s nowhere like the Jersey Shore. The beaches, the golf, the entertainment and the people make the Jersey Shore and the Wildwoods the perfect location. And there's never been a better time to buy. Check out the facts and see why it’s the right time to enter the Jersey Shore real estate market.

Pricing is Low! Home prices have lowered to reasonable levels and it’s time to take advantage of these prices.

Inventory is High! Right now, the selection of homes and condos in the Wildwoods makes it a buyers market.

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