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NEWS POLITICAL ENDORSEMENTS EXPOSED. DRANK SPIKING YOUR SHAMROCK SHAKE. MUSIC A RELIGIOUS TAKE ON RADIOHEAD.
WWEEK.COM
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WRONG TURN: Moving violations and our Rogue of the Week. Page 9.
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EDITORIAL Managing Editor for News Brent Walth Arts & Culture Editor Martin Cizmar Staff Writers Hannah Hoffman, Nigel Jaquiss, Corey Pein Copy Chief Rob Fernas Copy Editors Matt Buckingham, Kat Merck Assistant Arts & Culture Editor Ben Waterhouse Movies Editor Aaron Mesh Music Editor Casey Jarman Editorial Interns Penelope Bass, Heidi Groover Melinda Hasting, Kara Wilbeck CONTRIBUTORS Classical Brett Campbell Dance Heather Wisner Food Ruth Brown Visual Arts Richard Speer
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INBOX BRADY BACKERS FILL IN BLANKS
Your sidebar [“A New Seasons Founder Refutes Brady’s Claims,” WW, March 7, 2012] is most notable for what it leaves out, particularly since relevant information was made available to you prior to press. Stan Amy provided an unequivocal validation of Eileen Brady’s role as co-founder and in support of her significant contributions to the success [of New Seasons Market]. Willamette Week’s decision to minimize the input of Mr. Amy, co-founder and board chair of New Seasons, is regrettable. Your readers will benefit from seeing what was left out: “New Seasons was founded by three local families and 50 of our friends, and she and her husband, Brian Rohter, were one of the families. “Eileen and Brian invested in our start-up with earnings from her high-tech career. She was one of the people who gathered around my kitchen table in planning meetings to map out the company. In these meetings, she helped establish our concept as a neighborhood grocery store selling natural, organic and conventional products, and craft our founding values as a supporter of the regional food economy, a committed neighbor and citizen, a great place to work and a champion for sustainability. “In our early years, we were a very small company with limited resources and relied upon founders to play various roles. Eileen shared her human resources experience and helped design and negotiate our first health insurance program. She also helped launch our marketing program, contributing to our insert concept, our original website and our videos highlighting rural producers. “Over the years, the company asked Eileen
My roommate claims Portland is full of deadly brown recluse spiders. I say the brown recluse menace is overstated. I also think he’s using said menace as an excuse not to clean the basement. Who’s right? —Spider Woman Your letter puts me in an awkward position. On one hand, I strive always to be a bastion of dispassionate, scientific accuracy, ever free of bias and superstition. On the other hand, it is my long-held and frequently stated view that all spiders are 100 percent deadly at all times. If one of them bites you, or touches you, or even looks at you with its eight horrible, horrible eyes, you will immediately die in paroxysms of toxic agony. Needless to say, my basement’s a shit show. That said, I must put prejudice aside: Not only is the brown recluse menace overstated, it’s nonexistent. Portland does not lie within the range of 4
Willamette Week MARCH 14, 2012 wweek.com
to represent it in the community by serving as our representative on the Oregon Health Fund Board, Oregon Health Policy Board and Oregon Business Association. Eileen has never been an employee of the company or a member of our board. She has played an important role as one of our co-founders contributing greatly to the success of the company.” It is disappointing that such important details were omitted, but we appreciate the opportunity to set the record straight for your readers. —Neel Pender Eileen Brady for Mayor
CLEARING UP A MURKY LAKE
I live in Lake Oswego near the lake and have a boat easement associated with my neighborhood. Your article [“Lake Affront,” WW, March 7, 2012] was well written and researched. I like that you spoke to the Lake Oswego Police and Clackamas County Sheriff’s departments regarding the legality of being on the lake. Your article clarifies the mumbo jumbo I’ve always heard about the ownership of the lake. I’ll be interested to see if more non-resident kayaks and canoes will be on the lake. Since there are no public boat launches, it seems like the only threat to the “quality of life” for lakeshore residents is an increase in human-powered boat traffic. —Barry Reeves Lake Oswego LETTERS TO THE EDITOR must include the author’s street address and phone number for verification. Letters must be 250 or fewer words. Submit to: 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Fax: (503) 243-1115, Email: mzusman@wweek.com
any of the 10 species of brown recluse spiders. In fairness to your sensibly spider-hating roomie, however, I should mention that the Rose City is well within the range of Tegenaria agrestis, the hobo spider. Hobo spiders are brown, and I’d imagine at least some of them are reclusive, so it’s easy to get confused. Hobo spiders are said to have a nasty bite. Reports differ as to exactly how nasty—certainly not fatal, though. Their PR hasn’t been helped by their alternate common name: the “aggressive house spider.” While it pains me to come in on the side of an evil, awful, icky spider, this scary name seems to be the result of stupid people thinking that agrestis is Latin for “aggressive.” It’s actually from the same root as “agriculture,” and means “from the fields.” Aw, little field spider! That’s almost wholesome. I’m still stomping the next one I see, though. QUESTIONS? Send them to dr.know@wweek.com
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CITY HALL: “Confidential” bids for support and money. ROGUE OF THE WEEK: The Beaverton Police Department. BRACKETOLOGY: Mayoral Madness picks Portland’s new leader. COVER STORY: Dr. Know busts some of our biggest myths.
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ZOMBIE LAWSUITS, BURNIN’ UP THE QUARTER MILE. Two years ago, the Tonkon Torp law firm scored a coup when it snagged Josh Kardon, the longtime chief of staff to U.S. Sen. Ron Wyden, to bolster its federal government-relations practice. Kardon, meanwhile, built a star-studded political-campaign consulting firm, Grant Park Strategies. His firm has largely disbanded and Kardon has now left Tonkon Torp to KARDON work on his own. Kardon says the parting with Tonkon Torp was amicable, and he looks forward to maintaining his “great friendship” with the law firm.
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Maybe Labor Commissioner Brad Avakian was going for levity last week with a campaign fundraising pitch celebrating the musical Grease. Avakian promoted his support of vocational education, including auto-repair training, which made him think of Grease and “how much fun those guys had in the auto shop fixing up ‘Greased Lightning.’” He didn’t note the lyrics sung by those dancing scamps include “You know that ain’t no shit, we’ll be gettin’ lots of tit” and “You know that I ain’t braggin’, she’s a real pussy wagon.” Ironic, perhaps. Avakian is the state’s top cop for workplace sexual discrimination complaints. And it was an Avakian aide whose breast was allegedly groped last year by state Rep. Mike Schaufler (D-Happy Valley). “Grease is tame, family friendly stuff,” says Hiram Sachs, Avakian’s campaign manager. “Critics would be better off focusing on Brad’s message.” Avakian faces a re-election battle against Sen. Bruce Starr (R-Hillsboro).
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Remember that criminal investigation into how Gov. John Kitzhaber’s companion got a $60,000 cut of a 2010 Department of Energy contract? The investigation ended last year, but the legal fight won’t die. Attorneys for Mark Long, a state official investigated in the case, are going to trial March 14 in Marion County Circuit Court, alleging the Oregon Department of Justice violated the state’s public-records law during the investigation. The DOJ is fighting the case. Long and three other state employees were cleared of wrongdoing after the state Energy Department steered business to a firm co-owned by Cylvia Hayes. DOJ officials say their costs to defend Long v. Kroger have already hit $426,000. So, exactly how far are Eileen Brady, Amanda Fritz, Charlie Hales, Steve Novick, Mary Nolan and Jefferson Smith willing to go to get your vote? They’re going to endure Candidates Gone Wild, the biennial political revue and brouhaha. This year’s event —hosted by Live Wire! radio star Courtenay Hameister—is set for Tuesday, April 17, at 8 pm at the Bagdad Theater. Tickets are $5, all ages. Get them at WW’s office, 2220 NW Quimby St., or at the Bus Project, 333 SE 2nd Ave. Read more Murmurs and daily scuttlebutt.
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QUIZZED: Mayoral candidates Jefferson Smith, Charlie Hales and Eileen Brady (shown here at a March 10 forum) agreed to WW’s request to make public the questionnaires they have submitted to help them win special-interest endorsements. All three have won backing from at least one labor union.
CAMPAIGN CONFIDENTIAL WW GETS CITY HALL CANDIDATES TO MAKE PUBLIC QUESTIONNAIRES USED TO WIN SPECIALINTEREST-GROUP SUPPORT. BY H E I D I G R O OV E R
hgroover@wweek.com
If a candidate for mayor knocks on your door and asks for your vote, you probably won’t try to pin him or her down about overtime pay for city workers, staff-to-management ratios, or placing labor reps on important city boards. But behind closed doors, these are the very questions one union wanted Eileen Brady, Charlie Hales and Jefferson Smith to answer. The union—the American Federation of State, County and Municipal Employees Local 189—asked the candidates to fill out detailed questionnaires before granting its endorsement. The union then kept candidates’ answers confidential. When WW asked AFSCME for copies of those questionnaires, the union said no. “It’s really for our members,” Joe Baessler, political director at Oregon AFSCME, tells WW. He says the promise of confidentiality encourages candid answers from candidates: “I want the best conversation to happen.” But you can now go to wweek.com and read the AFSCME questionnaire and dozens more the candidates have filled out. WW asked the leading candidates for mayor and City Council to release the completed questionnaires they have sent to special-interest groups. The mayoral campaigns for Brady, Hales and Smith released stacks of these documents to the newspaper. Two
Wiener says. That’s because big differences between the three major mayoral candidates are often difficult to see at first glance. Hales says the demands of special interest groups to have candidates fill out questionnaires and sit for interviews has increased since he first ran for City Hall in 1992. candidates for City Council—Steve Novick and incumbent But he says landing a wide range of endorsements Amanda Fritz—have also released some questionnaires. Rep. helps. “That’s very important to show the public you’re not Mary Nolan, Fritz’s challenger, has declined to release any. a single-issue candidate,” he says, “and that you are part of More than ever, the leading city candidates are running the mainstream progressive Portland movement.” an obstacle course of endorsement questionnaires and AFSCME, which endorsed Smith, isn’t the only group interviews in an effort to win the backing of labor, busi- to keep its questionnaires secret. The Oregon League of ness, environmental and transportation groups. (Not all Conservation Voters, which hasn’t endorsed for mayor yet, groups require questionnaires, but most do). doesn’t release the questionnaires until after the election. Endorsements give candidates credentials, inspire “We want to make sure we’re having open, honest conpeople to volunteer and—most important—can unleash versations,” says Andy Maggi, political director for OLCV. big checks for their campaign bank accounts. But one organization that takes the opposite view is Interest groups are pressing candidates to answer Portland Business Alliance, which posts answers from increasingly specific questions. candidates online. “In a campaign, individuals and orgaPBA spokeswoman Megan Doern says nizations try to pin you down,” says City Read what City Hall making the questionnaires public helps Commissioner Nick Fish, who isn’t up for candidates are telling specialdraw attention to the organization’s issues re-election this year. “It’s not enough to interest groups at and concerns. “It’s an opportunity for know just what your values are. They want wweek.com/questionnaire. us to continue pushing out our message to know as specifically as possible what about the value of jobs,” she says, “and you’ll support once you’re elected.” showing where candidates come down on Fish says with each questionnaire candidates fill out, issues that impact that.” there’s an increasing chance they’ll make promises they Brady, who has never run for public office before, was can’t keep if elected. endorsed by the PBA. She says the questionnaires have “It’s not realistic,” he says, “and it invites a certain kind helped her clarify positions with a wide range of groups. of pandering that is not healthy.” “It’s a great chance for you to be clear inside yourself that Organizations that asked mayoral candidates to fill out you’re not going to be wishy-washy,” she says. “You’re questionnaires this year include the Portland Association of going to stand up for what you believe.” Teachers, Portland Police Association, Just Out, NARAL ProSmith campaign manager Stacey Dycus says the Choice Oregon, Street Roots and Bike, Walk, Vote. endorsement process is cumbersome and time consumPolitical consultant Mark Wiener, who is not working ing, but the payoffs are worth it. for any of the mayoral campaigns, says the competition for “Here’s what every campaign has to consider: Will they endorsements this year has been especially intense. endorse? Is there PAC money? Will they open up their list “None of these candidates had a lock on support from of members for volunteers?” Dycus says. “It’s part fundany particular group, beyond their friends and relatives,” raising, part field work, part marketing.” Willamette Week MARCH 14, 2012 wweek.com
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Willamette Week MARCH 14, 2012 wweek.com
BEAVERTON POLICE A TRAFFIC COP’S SPECIALTY BRINGS IN BIG BUCKS. Stephen Vass was driving back to work after lunch through Beaverton on the morning of Feb. 14 when he turned left off of Southwest Cedar Hills Boulevard onto Southwest Canyon Road. Like many of us sometimes do, he swung out too wide and went into the far lane as he made his turn. Moments later, the lights of a Beaverton Police Department motorcycle filled his rearview mirror, Officer Peter J. Dalton on duty. Dalton gave Vass a ticket for violation of Oregon Revised Statutes 811.340, an improperly executed left turn. The fine: $260. “It seems a little severe,” Vass says. “I was wondering how many other poor bastards had gotten this.” So Vass did a little digging. He asked the Beaverton Police Department for statistics on Dalton’s ticket-writing history. It turns out the Beaverton police’s nine traffic officers gave out 618 tickets in the past year for improper turns. Dalton, all by his lonesome, wrote 564 of them. Officer Mike Rowe, who spent seven years as a traffic officer and is now the
Beaverton police’s spokesman, says many traffic cops have a pet issue. “It’s not uncommon for a traffic officer to [write] a large amount of [tickets for] a specific violation,” Rowe says. “You find certain violations you focus on.” But Beaverton police records show most traffic officers hand out tickets for the “big three” violations: speeding, talking on cellphones, and running a red light or stop sign. They account for most of the tickets Beaverton officers wrote in the past year. But Dalton’s mission seems to be to eradicate improper left turns, by far the top violation for which he wrote tickets in the 12 months starting February 2011. His No. 2 ticket: improper right turns. In all, Dalton wrote $146,640 worth of tickets for improper turns in that period— more than 10 times the amount of tickets all other Beaverton traffic officers wrote for the same violations. The Rogue Desk asked to speak to Dalton. Rowe says Dalton is on leave, but it’s not related to any disciplinary matter. Rowe says improper turns can be dangerous: If you pull out too wide, you can cut off, or even hit, a car to your side. The Beaverton Police Department, he says, sees it as serious. “You can cause injury,” he says. “It’s not a minor thing.” Beaverton Police Chief Geoff Spalding agrees that officers often develop favorite traffic laws they like to enforce. He tells WW he was unaware of Dalton’s enthusiasm for improper-turn tickets, and he
promises the department will look into the officer’s high numbers. “I’m not sure what’s prompted this officer to take interest in this,” he says. “Either someone in the community has brought this to his attention or it might be that he’s seen that it’s causing accidents.” Indeed. But here at the Rogue Desk, we wonder: If this is so important to the Beaverton police, wouldn’t every officer be out
cracking down on illegal turns? Apparently not—while Dalton was writing his 564 tickets for improper turns, the officer with the next-highest count wrote 16. It seems to us that the Beaverton police don’t just have an officer with a particular traffic fetish. They have allowed him to become a cash machine. That earns the entire department Rogue of the Week honors.
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BRACKETOLOGY
MAYORAL MADNESS LET’S PICK THE NEXT MAYOR THE ONLY SANE WAY: WITH A BRACKET. BY AA R O N M E SH
amesh@wweek.com
The most exciting thing happening in Portland this week is the NCAA Basketball Tournament’s arrival at the Rose Garden.
The least exciting, this and every other week: the mayor’s race. We can fix this. Using the fail-safe American tradition, the March Madness bracket, we can arrive at a better, more enticing candidate to succeed Sam Adams. Our candidate field of 64 is made of public figures who currently live in Oregon (sorry, Storm Large), who have not held or
sought political office (sorry, Max Bauske) and who we would find entertaining if elected to City Hall (sorry, Phil Knight). We then seeded the contenders in the bracket based on merit, sure, but more on fame, influence and what we see as their likelihood of achieving a foothold in the civic imagination. And you get to vote! We’ll ask you to vote for your favorite in each matchup. Every week your choices will help narrow the field —and then we vote again until we have a new mayor. Go to wweek.com/mayoralmadness to make your picks. Voting starts today.
1. Carrie Brownstein, Portlandia founder 16. Victoria Taft, talk-radio resentment queen
1. Gus Van Sant, filmmaking legend 16. Rusty Nails, old-school clown
8. Timber Joey, soccer mascot/lumber baron 9. Blaze the Trail Cat, basketball mascot with nine kneecaps
8. Kim Boyce, Beard-winning baker 9. Phil Geffner, pizza mensch
5. Mike Reese, police chief 12. Mike Rice, Blazers TV color commentator
5. China Forbes, Pink Martini singer 12. Max Records, Where the Wild Things Are kid
4. Lars Larson, radio bomb-thrower 13. Mohamed Osman Mohamud, accused holiday-tree bomber 6. Viva Las Vegas, literary stripper 11. Sherri Hiner, from Mattress World!
VERA KATZ REGIONAL
NEWS
DOROTHY MCCULLOUGH LEE REGIONAL
4. Todd Haynes, transgressive director 13. “Working” Kirk Reeves, mouse-eared cornetist 6. Ndamukong Suh, Detroit Lions defensive driver 11. Micaela Capelle, University of Portland soccer star
3. Timothy Hutton, avenging injustice 14. Amanda Marshall, U.S. attorney
3. John Canzano, bald-faced columnist 14. Anna Canzano, KATU investigator
7. Willy Vlautin, singer/storyteller 10. Scott Kveton, Urban Airship CEO
7. Byron Beck, radio provocateur 10. Stephen Marc Beaudoin, PHAME Academy director
2. Duane Sorenson, haute coffee emperor 15. Patty, Magic Garden bartender
2. Chuck Palahniuk, fugitive and refugee 15. John Schroder, Saturday Market Elvis
1. Tres Shannon, Voodoo Doughnut scamp 16. Nong Poonsukwattana, khao man gai artist
1. Thomas Lauderdale, bandleader extraordinaire 16. Danny Chavez, karaoke saxophonist
8. Andy Ricker, cooks delicious wings 9. Gabriel Rucker, cooks delicious pigeons
8. Cool Nutz, hip-hop producer 9. Courtenay Hameister, Live Wire! producer and host
5. Paul Bunyan statue, he’s tall 12. Joan of Arc statue, she’s shiny
5. Adam Arnold, fashion designer 12. Terrell Brandon, Blazer/barber
4. Sallie Ford, big-voiced crooner 13. Roger the Rabbit, kidnapped stud bunny
4. Rick Emerson, cult radio host 13. Jody Stahancyk, fearsome divorce lawyer
6. Liv Warfield, sings with Prince 11. Erin Janssens, first female fire chief
BUD CLARK REGIONAL
JOSIAH FAILING REGIONAL
6. Tracy Barry, KGW anchor 11. Packy the Elephant, painter
3. Emily Powell, bookstore boss 14. Gert Boyle, Columbia Sportswear big boss
3. Jack Bodanski, breaking-news blogger 14. Greg Oden, highly breakable Blazer
7. Jon Raymond, screenwriter-about-town 10. May Barruel, Nationale founder
7. Jenny Conlee-Drizos, Decemberist 10. Cheryl Strayed, “Dear Sugar” essayist
2. Daniel Baldwin, a Baldwin—’nuff said 15. Reo Varnado, Snoop’s rib-cooking uncle
2. Kathy Foster, better half of the Thermals 15. Felicia Heaton, @ShitMyScnrSays
Willamette Week MARCH 14, 2012 wweek.com
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BY M ARTY S M I TH
dr.know@wweek.com
I LLUSTRATI O NS BY HAWK K R A LL
The scummiest election season, like, ever, is in full swing and the level of American civil discourse is at an all-time low (slut-shaming, anyone?). It seems like it’s never been a better time to talk about lies. Brazen untruths, glaring factual errors, total failures of basic reasoning—we expect to see these when we look east and behold some of the more mendacious windbags who dominate our national stage. But surely it can’t happen here—not in sensible, forward-looking, well-intentioned Portland? We try harder! Don’t be so sure: Sometimes it’s good intentions (and a little touch of mutually supportive groupthink) that lead us to believe the dumbest stuff. Here, then, for your edification (not that you’ll appreciate
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Willamette Week MARCH 14, 2012 wweek.com
it) are five uniquely Portland whoppers. Most of them are the product of good intentions rather than bad faith, but they’re BS all the same. It may seem like I’m picking more on liberal sacred cows than conservative ones. There are three reasons for this: First, this story turns on good intentions. There’s not much to say about those who don’t even pretend to have them. Second, everyone already knows right-wing numbers don’t add up. What am I gonna do, waste ink proving that, yes, the Holocaust really did happen? Finally, even if I did try to make these points, most Republicans wouldn’t understand them unless I wrote really, really, slow. Without further ado, then: five things you’re probably wrong about. You’re welcome. CONT. on page 15
Willamette Week MARCH 14, 2012 wweek.com
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Congratulations to the
Masterful Masticators for winning the “Protect the OVO”contest at the PDX Cartathlon II
OVO by Cirque du Soleil, opens April 5th in Portland
Public hearings on fares and service TriMet is facing a $12-17 million shortfall. Tough budget choices are ahead. Share your comments on proposed service cuts and fare changes effective September 2012. Tell us what’s important to you. Monday, March 19, 4:30-6:30 p.m. Clackamas Town Center, Community Room, Lower Level next to Management Office 12000 SE 82nd Ave. Tuesday, March 20, 4:30-6:30 p.m. Beaverton Library, Auditorium 12375 SW 5th St. Wednesday, March 21, 4:30-6:30 p.m. Portland Building, Auditorium 1120 SW 5th Ave.
Thursday, March 22, 4:30-6:30 p.m. Multnomah County East County Health Center, Sharron Kelly A & B 600 NE 8th St., Gresham Tuesday, March 27, 5:30-7:30 p.m. Multnomah County Library, North Portland Branch 2nd Floor Meeting Room 512 N. Killingsworth St.
Visit trimet.org March 15 for information on the revised proposal. Communication aids If you require a sign-language interpreter or other communications aids at a meeting, please call 503-802-8200 or TTY 503-802-8058 (7:30 a.m. to 5:30 p.m. weekdays) at least 48 hours in advance of the meeting.
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Willamette Week MARCH 14, 2012 wweek.com
CONT.
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HOME SOLAR IS THE WAVE OF THE FUTURE The claim: The future is now with your new home
solar photovoltaic array! Away with the cashsucking tedium of stratospheric electric bills— generate your own power, live off the grid, and step into a carbon-neutral tomorrow filled with jet packs and spandex bodysuits! Why it’s bullshit: Portland loves solar. In 2007, we became one of the U.S. Department of Energy’s first “Solar America Cities.” In 2009, when we won a DOE Special Projects Award for solar initiatives, Energy Trust’s Residential Solar Project Manager Lizzie Rubado boasted, “Portland is a local and national leader in innovative clean energy strategies.” The shining vision of limitless, clean electricity for all is a great dream, and the sooner we get there, the better. But if your electric bill is high, home solar is the last thing you should be trying, not the first. Of all the ways to shave kilowatts off your planet-destroying personal power allotment, putting in a home photovoltaic array is easily the least efficient. You might assume this is because Portland isn’t exactly the buckle of the sun belt. After all, solar panels are no good in the rain, right? It turns out, though—at least according to Portland Bureau of Planning and Sustainability figures— that the Rose City, with its long, cloudless summer days, receives about the national average in sunshine over the course of a year. The real devil is in the details. Let’s do the math. Say you spring for a respectable-sized 3-kilowatt array. The Bureau of Planning and Sustainability estimates you’ll be able to generate 3,000 kilowatt hours per year with it, for an annual savings of $327. Not bad. Unfortunately, the bureau also estimates the installation will cost you about $8,000 per kilowatt, or $24,000. Ouch! Lucky for you, I like your face, so I found a local solar company that says it can do a 3kW rig for $17,000. (I’m trying to work with you here.) At that bargain-basement price, your solar
array will pay for itself in just under 52 years, a figure which doesn’t exactly scream “cost-effective.” But wait! The feds, the state and Energy Trust of Oregon all offer big incentives and rebates for your home solar installation. According to one provider, after rebates you can get your share of the cost down to just $2,300, transferring the extreme financial shittiness of this deal to society at large. (Thank God we aren’t blowing this money on stupid things like schools and medical care.) The theory behind this, as I understand it, is that global warming is such a threat that carbon-neutral energy is worth any price. Which is true as far as it goes: The less carbon dioxide we pump out, the more likely we are to survive the next century. That said, for the vast majority of Portlanders, there are far better ways than a home PV array to reduce carbon emissions. To get to the point where a home PV array makes sense, you should have already com-
“IF YOUR ELECTRIC BILL IS HIGH, HOME SOLAR IS THE LAST THING YOU SHOULD BE TRYING, NOT THE FIRST.” pleted a home-energy audit, axed any energyhogging appliances and altered wasteful habits. We’re talking about folks who’ve pared down their energy use to less than $20 per person per month. If you’ve done all that, and you’re ready to take that final step toward energy selfsufficiency, go for it. As for the rest of you, all I ask is this: Before you stick the rest of us with the $14,700 tab for your putatively planet-saving home power plant, try putting on a fucking sweater first. CONT. on page 16 Willamette Week MARCH 14, 2012 wweek.com
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CONT.
EATING LOCAL WILL SAVE THE EARTH
HOME OWNERSHIP: YOUR BEST INVESTMENT!
The claim: The sprawling carbon footprint of long-haul produce will destroy us all. By eating only locally grown food items—reducing our “food miles”—we can make feeding ourselves almost totally carbon-neutral! Why it’s bullshit: Locavorism is one of Portland’s most identifiable trends—we’ve been tagged with it in The New York Times and skewered for it on Portlandia. To some extent, this is fine. If you want to eat a $9 tomato because it supports local farmers and keeps your dollars in the community, knock yourself out—though for consistency’s sake you should probably seek out all locally made products just as assiduously. It’s mainly the idea of locavorism and food miles that’s overblown. While there’s an environmental price to be paid for transporting any cargo over a long distance, this one’s a drop in the bucket. Check it: If you’re a typical Oregonian, you’re personally responsible for 11 tons of carbon emissions every year. (That beats the national average of 17 tons, though that’s more due to Oregon’s mild climate than any great virtue on your part.) Estimates vary as to just how much of that 11 tons is related to the food and drink you consume. For the sake of argument, we’ll take the highest estimate available, 20 percent. (This figure is from the book Low Carbon Diet, not exactly a Heartland Institute propaganda pamphlet.) According to a Carnegie Mellon University study, food miles compose 11 percent of that. So food transport is, at most, about 2 percent of your carbon impact. If, by assiduous locavorism, you manage to cut that figure in half, you’ll save the planet 220 pounds of greenhouse misery. Congratulations! Unfortunately, this is chump change in the carbon wars. If you could manage to go vegan, you’d save a lot more: 3,200 pounds every year. If you and your spouse could forgo that flight back East for Christmas, you could save 4,000 pounds of atmospheric carbon. Finally, if the two of you could manage to have just one less child, you could hit the carbon jackpot: a full 1.7 million pounds of carbon emissions saved over the non-life of the non-kid you didn’t have—and that’s not even counting all the non-grandkids. In short, you could make a real dent in your environmental impact by making real lifestyle changes. But that stuff is hard! And that’s precisely the point. The locavore myth anesthetizes your environmental conscience, suggesting that reducing your environmental impact is as simple as switching your brand loyalty from one product to another, the way you might switch from Coke to Pepsi. Like a lot of around-the-edges environmentalism, greenhouse locavorism holds out the false promise that you can save the Earth simply by buying a slightly more expensive kind of food that—completely coincidentally— also happens to be more delicious. It’s much more difficult than that. If you really cared about the Earth, you’d spend your evenings alone and childless, sobbing quietly in a darkened room, like me.
The claim: Don’t be a chump! With Portland rents rising—
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PORTLAND’S HYBRID-CAR HABIT WILL SOLVE OUR CARBON WOES The claim: Portland’s status as the No. 1 city for hybrid vehicles puts us in the vanguard of a movement that, soon, will dial back carbon emissions to pre-industrial levels. We can save the world from greenhouse doom while darting around in GPS-enabled comfort! Why it’s bullshit: In 2010, the most recent year for which I could find figures, nine out of every 1,000 Rose City households had bought a hybrid in the past year—the highest per-capita rate in the nation. And what could possibly be wrong with that? Why not go easy on ol’ Mother Gaia with a hyper-efficient car? Unfortunately (and I hate to be such a consistent downer, I really do), it’s far from clear that your hyperefficient car makes life much easier for Mother Gaia after all, due to a well-accepted economic concept called the Jevons paradox. In 1865, this geezer named William Jevons noticed that every time a new innovation came along to get more energy out of the same amount of coal, coal use actually went up. Jevons realized that increasing efficiency reduces cost, reduced cost leads to increased demand, and increased demand leads to increased consumption. This is also called the “rebound effect,” and here’s a real-world example. (I hate to admit this one, since I’ve been going around like the avenging angel of insincere environmentalism, but here goes.) In my house, probably like yours, some lighting fixtures have CFLs, and some have old-school incandescent bulbs. So, before I leave, I go from room to room, making sure all the incandescents are shut off. The CFLs, though, I let burn—just in case, you know, the cat wants to read or something. Anyway, they’re only like 13 watts, so what the hell, live a little! The CFLs’ lower operating costs, coupled with the Jevons paradox and the fact that I’m an asshole, means I end up using more electricity than you’d expect and it eats up some, if not all, of the energy savings I should be realizing. If the Jevons paradox applied to hybrid cars, we’d expect to see folks driving more, or faster, or less efficiently or all three. Sure enough, a 2009 study by an insuranceindustry group found that hybrid owners were driving as much as 25 percent more miles than their all-gas counterparts, and getting more traffic tickets. And that’s just the direct rebound—don’t forget the indirect effects! For example, now that your commute is so much cheaper, maybe you’ll move to a huge, ugly, carbon-belching house in the suburbs. Some argue that the rebound effect extends to other wasteful things—taking a trip, eating a steak, building a robot army—you might do with the money you save on gas. I don’t know if I’d go that far, but it’s certainly true you can’t be trusted.
we’re the second-tightest rental market in the country—you should be making a monthly mortgage payment instead. For the same effort, you can build equity and wealth, while stupid renters might as well be burning their stupid money in an ashtray. Why it’s bullshit: Well, let’s do the math. Let’s say you buy a home for $225,000, the current median price in Portland. You put your life’s savings of $25,000 down on a 30-year, 4.5 percent note (we’ll generously assume your sketchy ass can somehow get an interest rate this good). Your monthly payment, including property tax and mortgage insurance, is now $1,250—a little more than rent, but hey: You’re building equity! Assuming (a) that you don’t have a coronary from the stress of coming up with this sum every freaking month, and (b) that your place appreciates at the historic average annual rate of 6 percent, after 30 years, you’ll own a pile worth $1.35 million. Not a bad nest egg—and best of all, you didn’t make some other bastard rich by pouring money down the rent rathole! I’ll bet you’re pretty pleased with your wrinkly old self right about now. After all, if you’d just been paying rent this whole time, you’d have nothing to show for it, right? Zero, zip, nada! It looks like your shrewd choice of home ownership netted you a cool $1.3 million profit. Not so fast, Scrooge McDuck. The reason you have a nest egg isn’t because houses are magic, it’s because you’ve been paying the going rate for housing plus a premium (the difference between your mortgage payment and marketrate rent) to build investment value. You have money because you’ve been investing the whole time. Let’s examine the opposite case: You rent for the current Portland average of $870 a month. Instead of putting that $25K down on a house, you drop it into an index fund. (An index fund, for those who don’t know, is a low-fee, highly diversified investment vehicle that’s like buying shares of, say, the entire S&P 500 at once. It’s basically the most generic, vanilla stock-market investment you can make.) Now, you take the extra $380 a month you’re not spending on the mortgage premium and pay it faithfully into the same fund for the next 30 years. Don’t forget to kick in another $100 a month for all the money you’re not spending on maintenance and repairs (I think most homeowners would agree that this is a conservative sum). The S&P 500 has returned an average of 10.27 percent annually for the last 78 years, so let’s assume you can get a 10 percent rate of return. (Some years will be better and some worse, but over a few decades these variations will smooth out.) Fast forward to 2042: You now have a nest egg of $1,425,000—the same amount the homeowner netted, plus an extra $75,000 to blow on space-coke and replicant hookers. In the meantime, you were free to get fired, move without regard to real-estate market conditions, and make your investment payments a day late without becoming homeless. Sure, this example contains a lot of ballparking, and it’s
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certainly possible that the stock market might not perform as well as you hope. Then again, I’m pretty sure I could find some folks who’d say the same about the real-estate market. The point is, neither strategy is significantly better than the other. Portlanders aren’t stupid (OK, a lot of us are, but whatever). Maybe our rental market is tight because we’ve figured out that buying a house isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.
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HANDS-FREE CELLPHONES MAKE MULTITASKING EFFORTLESS! The claim: Hang up and drive? No need when you’ve got a legal-
in-Oregon hands-free cellphone! In 2008, state law changed requiring that drivers could not talk on cellphones unless they used hands-free devices. As a consequence, the law saved dozens, if not hundreds, of lives! Four years in, we can now conclusively say: bravo, Oregon! Why it’s bullshit: First, the good news: By all accounts, the drop in cellphone-related traffic fatalities that results after a state institutes a hands-free law is real. A study recently released by UC Berkeley touts an impressive 47 percent drop in cellphonerelated deaths subsequent to that state’s ban. So, non-hands-free cellphone use gets banned, cellphonerelated traffic fatalities drop—yay! The system works! The trouble is, the bans achieve their goal more or less by dumb luck, and they’re almost certainly a lot less effective than they could be. Here’s the problem: Time and again, lab studies of drivers have shown that talking on the phone while driving is just as distracting whether you’re holding the handset to your ear or using a handsfree kit. A University of Utah study found “no significant differences in the impairments caused by these two modes of cellular communication.” (For what it’s worth, MythBusters found the same.) If talking hands-free is no safer than talking with a phone in your hand, why on earth would a hands-free law make a difference? By preventing some, but not all, cellphone use in the car, the law prevents some, but not all, cellphone-related accidents. The law works exactly as well as would a law banning all cellphone use on odd-numbered days, or in months with an “r” in them. It’s great that the hands-free law manages to save lives. If that’s our goal, though, it sure seems like an outright ban would save a lot more. A popular complaint about the media is that we never take a stand. We report on a given issue—say, whether or not the Earth is flat—by giving all sides of the argument equal weight, then throw up our hands as though the actual truth is unknowable with some mealy mouthed headline like, “Views on Earth’s Shape Differ.” Say what you will about this story, it calls a globe a globe. So put down that pitchfork, douse that torch and relax—if you simply must live in a world where you only read things you agree with, the Internet’s that way. In the meantime, I stand behind my story. The fact I’m standing behind it from an undisclosed location somewhere in Mexico shouldn’t alter your admiration for my principles.
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3/7/2012 2:08:36 PM
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The Mark O. Hatfield Distinguished Historians Forum
“Tom McCall and the Language of Memory” Tuesday, March 20 at 7:00 PM First Congregational Church, Downtown Portland
WWW.OHS.ORG
Lecture By Brent Walth
Managing Editor of Willamette Week and author of Fire At Eden’s Gate: Tom McCall and the Oregon Story Tickets at BoxOfficeTickets.com. Keyword: Hatfield
UPCOMING IN-STORE PERFORMANCES – MUSIC MILLENNIUM’S 43RD ANNIVERSARY –
LISA MANN THURSDAY 3/15 @ 6PM
Lisa Mann is the Cascade Blues Association’s Hall of Fame for three consecutive wins for Bass player of the Year. On her latest release ‘Satisfied’ ten memorable original tunes and three soul-stirring cover songs make up a stunning celebration of blues, blues-rock and R&B. Special appearances include Lloyd Jones, Delta Groove artist Mitch Kashmar, harmonica player Joe Powers, and many more.
7HORSE FRIDAY 3/16 @ 6PM
The fresh avenue for rock veterans Joie Calio and Phil Leavitt, 7Horse’s music burns where cosmic country meets dirty blues, where primal urges unfold into bawdy nights, and where two friends - and longtime band-mates - discover radically new sides of each other. All that is embodied on the duo’s debut album ‘Let the 7Horse Run.’
SHINS LISTENING PARTY! SUNDAY 3/18 @ 3PM
Come listen to the new album ‘Port of Morrow’ (available 3/20) in its entirety! Pre-buy the album and get a poster! Enter to win a test pressing of the album or one of two singles! Free Snacks and Beverages!
ALYSSA GRAHAM MONDAY 3/19 @ 6PM
Singer/songwriter Alyssa Graham’s latest album ‘Lock, Stock & Soul’ represents coming home, a full circle return to her longtime musical loves: Neil Young, Nick Drake, Bob Dylan and others capable of delivering heartfelt emotion in the simplest of packages.
TRACY GRAMMER FRIDAY 3/23 @ 6PM
Tracy Grammer recently released ‘Little Blue Egg,’ an album of previously-unreleased Dave Carter & Tracy recordings. The CD includes eleven tracks, with five additional songs to be released throughout 2012 as part of a year-long celebration to mark the 10th anniversary of Carter’s death and what would have been his 60th birthday. Tracy Grammer will also be performing at the Alberta Rose Theatre on 3/23 at 8:00 PM.
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Willamette Week MARCH 14, 2012 wweek.com
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DRANK: How to spike a Shamrock Shake. MUSIC: Radiohead and religion. STAGE: David Mamet’s lady-hating. VISUAL ARTS: Cock Gallery’s painted sphincters.
MARCH 20, 2012 | 7pM
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2012 ILLAHEE LECTURE SERIES Education reformers would like us to believe that our public school system is in shambles. Are schools really failing, or are we looking at education through and out of focus lens?
DIANE RAVITCH
EDUCATION: What Kind of Reform? TICKETS AND INFORMATION www.illahee.org | (503) 222-2719
SCOOP GOSSIP DYED A SICKLY/FESTIVE GREEN. DERBY DAYS: The final events of Portland Meadows’ horse-racing season are Wednesday, March 14 (with a prime rib buffet!), but local railbirds won’t have to wait long for more ponies. The racetrack is bucking the trend of shuttered grandstands by starting its next season early—instead of waiting for fall, it’ll begin racing again Sunday, July 15. This means Portland Meadows is directly challenging Seattle’s Emerald Downs, which usually takes many Meadows horses during the summer circuit. >> In other Kentucky-ish news, Pope House Bourbon Lounge on Northwest Glisan Street is a big March Madness winner: Hours after the NCAA seedings were announced, the sour-mash emporium began inviting Louisville fans over for drinks on Twitter. THE WORLD IN OUR BACKYARD: Not that Portland’s music scene needs an ego boost, but this week NPR’s popular World Cafe show sets up camp in Rose City for a series on local bands. Last year’s featured city was Dublin, Ireland, so we’re thinking the program’s travel itinerary has more to do with the quality of its host city’s beer than the content of its character. Web promos focused on some usual suspects, such as Blitzen Trapper and the Decemberists. OPRAH SUNDAE: Portland food has been pushed hard in middle America thanks to the Food Network’s love of competitive gluttony. Now Oprah is helping push our bacon-centric scene. O, the Oprah Magazine is giving some love to Alberta ice-cream seller Salt & Straw. S&S is returning the favor with a special “Oprah Club Sundae” based on its Arbequina olive oil ice cream. Order a scoop and S&S will top it with hot fudge, candied bacon from Olympic Provisions and smoked sea salt from the Meadow. FREE TIX: Among the many Portland outfits hoping to make an impression at SXSW is Tixie, a concert-listing site with a little twist: A chance to win a pair of tickets to shows listed on its site. It’s got Portland, Austin and some other big music towns covered, with plans to roll out a bunch more by the end of the year. TEXAS TOASTED: Speaking of SXSW, WW Music Editor Casey Jarman is in Texas this week, eating tacos, drinking Lone Stars and blasting out his eardrums at the greatest of industry clusterfucks, SXSW. While, as of press time, Mr. Jarman still had not crafted any sort of schedule for his week-long sojourn, he promised to post intermittent updates at wweek.com. GLUTEN LIBRE: In last week’s Cheap Eats guide, we described the menu at downtown cart El Cubo de Cuba as “totally gluten-free.” It is, in fact, half gluten-free—the half that doesn’t come between bread. Apologies to readers who were hoping to find a celiac-friendly Cubano. You’ll have to stick to Cubo’s delicious bento boxes for now.
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HEADOUT
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WHAT TO DO THIS WEEK IN ARTS & CULTURE Start here!
In the Civil War, the school’s state... Won
It’s complicated.
Lost
Recently implicated in a major scandal? Yes
Perennial “Cinderella story”?
No
No
Overtly conservative?
No
No
Yes
Overly ambitious coach? No
Yes
HEROIC FIGURE
MEAN DOG
CUTE CREATURE
SILLY STATE NICKNAME
Was the state blue in the 2000 presidential election?
Does the school’s logo look like it was designed in 1993?
No No
Yes
Yes
Is it really, really ugly?
Yes
RAYMOND BONNER [BOOKS] In 1982, a black South Carolina man named Edward Lee Elmore was sentenced to death for the murder of a white woman. In Pulitzer Prize-winner Raymond Bonner’s new book, Anatomy of Injustice, Bonner discusses what went wrong in the Elmore case, as well as what he sees as the injustices of our justice system. For his Powell’s appearance, Bonner will discuss executions with Oregon pro-death-penalty prosecutor Josh Marquis. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 228-4651. 7:30 pm. Free. THE FORGIVENESS OF BLOOD [MOVIES] Nothing cramps a teenager’s style more than a familial blood feud. Quietly compelling, director Joshua Marston’s first film since 2004’s Maria Full of Grace presents coming of age under the threat of sudden, swift death as not much different than any other adolescent trauma. Living Room Theaters, 341 SW 10th Ave., 222-2010. Multiple showtimes. $6-$9.
SATURDAY MARCH 17
As most often depicted, the school’s mascot is...
COLOR/ CONCEPT/ PLANT/ NUMBER
BRAINSTORM [MUSIC] Portland’s favorite duo of groove merchants, Brainstorm, has been keeping quite busy for the past few months. The group pulled off a successful Kickstarter campaign to help fund its sparkling new album, Heat Waves, and tonight it will debut a new lineup with bassist Tamara Barnes. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave. 9 pm. $7. 21+.
FRIDAY MARCH 16
Annoying “super booster” propping up the athletic programs? Yes
Yes
THURSDAY MARCH 15
No
CHEER: The mighty New Mexico State Aggies will play basketball against a bunch other schlubs as part of the NCAA men’s tournament. Portland’s regional games are Thursday and Saturday, March 15 & 17, at the Rose Garden, 1 Center Court. First tipoff is 10:40 am Thursday. Martin Cizmar will be blogging for WW from the Rose Garden. See his reports at wweek.com.
PSU FARMERS MARKET [SHOPPING] Portland’s biggest farmers market is back. Kale is in season! PSU Farmers Market, South Park Blocks between Southwest Hall and Southwest Montgomery. 8:30 am-2 pm. Free. ST. PATRICK’S DAY [HOLIDAY] In addition to musical acts and its St. Patrick’s Day golf tournament, Edgefield will be celebrating Paddy’s Day all over its property by serving Irish food and drink specials like Irish coffee, shepherd’s pie, corned beef and cabbage, Irish Reubens and Dubliner cheese salad. It also promises “roving leprechauns with candy,” which sounds incredibly creepy. McMenamins Edgefield, 2126 SW Halsey St., Troutdale, 669-8610. All day Friday-Saturday, March 16-17. Free. All ages. VALHALLA RISING [MOVIES] What, you haven’t seen Valhalla Rising? Are you one of those people who go around talking shit about Drive even though you haven’t seen Nicolas Winding Refn’s film about Vikings tearing each other’s guts out with their bare hands? Rectify this oversight immediately. NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium, 1219 SW Park Ave., 221-1156. 9 pm. $6-$9.
Willamette Week MARCH 14, 2012 wweek.com
21
Along with our regular menu
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FRIDAY, MARCH 16 Kells’ Annual St. Patrick’s Irish Festival
Kells is going all out for its St. Patrick’s Day celebration, with a three-day festival, including a live U.S. vs. Ireland boxing match, live music, dancing, pipers and nonbooze-related activities for the kiddies, among other events. There also will be a post-race Shamrock Run breakfast on Sunday, March 18. Children are welcome Saturday, March 17, in the front tent from noon-8 pm, and in the back tent on Sunday from 8 am-5 pm. Kells, 112 SW 2nd Ave., 227-4057. Various times Friday-Sunday, March 16-18. Various cover charges depending on the day/tent.
St. Patrick’s Day Celebration at Edgefield
In addition to musical acts and its St. Patrick’s Day golf tournament, Edgefield will be celebrating Paddy’s Day all over its property by serving Irish food and drink specials like Irish coffee, shepherd’s pie, corned beef and cabbage, Irish Reubens and Dubliner cheese salad. It also promises “roving leprechauns with candy,” which sounds incredibly creepy. McMenamins Edgefield, 2126 SW Halsey St., Troutdale, 6698610. All day Friday-Saturday, March 16-17. Free. All ages.
St. Patrick’s Weekend Festival at the Thirsty Lion
Why limit your St. Patrick’s Day drunken shame to just one day? The Thirsty Lion is making a weekend of it. In addition to live music and Irish dancing, there will be a “St. Patrick’s specialty cocktail list” and food specials like Irish potato pancakes, beer-braised corned-beef brisket and Jameson Bing-cherry bread pudding. Thirsty Lion, 71 SW 2nd Ave., 222-2155. 11 am-midnight Friday-Monday, March 16-19. Drink and menu prices vary.
SATURDAY, MARCH 17 All-Ireland Cultural Society’s 73rd Anniversary and 71st Annual St. Patrick’s Day Celebration
If you’re looking to avoid the drunken frat boys, this is the real deal St. Patrick’s Day celebration with real-life Irish people. There will be traditional dancing, music, a live parrot show (?) and a corned beefand-cabbage dinner. Ambridge Event Center, 1333 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 239-9921. Noon-8 pm; dinner 4:30-6:30 pm. $10 for adults, $5 for students 12-20, free for kids 11 and under with a paying adult.
St. Patrick’s Day at EastBurn
EastBurn celebrates St. Paddy’s Day with live music and food specials, including the “hop-o’-the-morning” special—any brunch entree and a bottomless pint or mimosa for $25. There also will be corned beef and colcannon, which Wikipedia describes as “a traditional Irish dish, mainly consisting of mashed potatoes with kale or cabbage.” Er...yum? EastBurn, 1800 E Burnside St., 2362876. 10 am. $2 cover from 9 pm.
St. Patrick’s Day Festival at Paddy’s
Paddy’s Bar will close down its little part of Southwest Yamhill Street to celebrate its namesake saint’s big day. There will be Irish dancers, live music and (shudder) bagpipers, along with traditional food and a raffle to win a five-day trip for two to Ireland. Minors are welcome until 9:30 pm. Paddy’s Bar & Grill, 65 SW Yamhill St., 224-5626. 10 am-2 am. $10. VIP passes $75.
22
Willamette Week MARCH 14, 2012 wweek.com
DRANK
By RUTH BROWN. PRICES: $: Most entrees under $10. $$: $10-$20. $$$: $20-$30. $$$$: Above $30. Editor: MARTIN CIZMAR. Email: dish@wweek.com. See page 3 for submission instructions.
M
CAN B
AR
• Pork Rojo SPARAGUS • Grilled Asparagus F YA • Tamales • Empanadas 40 • Cottage Cheese Varieties Taste the of Gourmet Difference • Enchilada Roja Tamales • Enchilada Verde CASA DE • Fruit Cocktail A R LE • Mexican Sweet Bread S R E S TAU
M TA
• Beans • Rice • Potatoes • Huevos a la Mexicana • Chicken Verde • Chile Rellenos • Beef Rojo
= WW Pick. Recommended.
DEVONDEVEREAUX.COM
NOW SERVING BRUNCH. FOOD & DRINK
SPIKED SHAMROCK Shamrock Shakes are not delicious. Please don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. The green concoctions McDonald’s rolls out about a month before St. Patrick’s Day—regular ol’ vanilla-flavored carrageenan plus some minty green goop—look better than they taste. And they don’t look great, even though Mickey D’s now pours them into fancy plastic cups and tops them with whipped cream and a cherry. Like so many St. Paddy’s traditions that are not especially awesome—food coloring in beer, corned beef from a crock pot, FlogThe proper way to spike a Shamrock Shake: Jameson Irish ging Molly—the Shamrock Shake Whiskey, at a ration of oneis unimpeachable by tenure. Over to-four. “It’s Irish, it tastes like its 42 years, the shake even had Jameson and it tastes like a Shamrock Shake.” its own semi-racist mascot, Uncle O’Grimacey, a green blob in the shape of the normally purple Grimace. This year, for the first time, Shamrock Shakes are available at every McDonald’s in America, until March 25. People joke about salvaging the Shamrock Shake with booze, but no one seems to know how to best accomplish the task. Until now. We bought two shakes and tried them with four mixers: Guinness stout, Jameson whiskey, Bailey’s cream liqueur and good oldfashioned Smirnoff red-label vodka. MARTIN CIZMAR.
Smirnoff Vodka
Vodka stored in a freezer would blend seamlessly into the shake. Our warm vodka didn’t really improve the shake, but it also didn’t ruin it. The big knock on vodka is that it isn’t in any way Irish—very few vodkas and none of the big-selling vodkas are made with potatoes these days. “This is, admittedly, a fairly painless way to get drunk.” “Except you’re supporting Monsanto!” “It’s actually better with the vodka.”
Jameson Irish Whiskey
Distilled in Cork, Ireland, Jameson is the world’s best-selling Irish whiskey. It was a great mixer, but also made us wonder why we were bothering to blend it since this spirit is fine as it is. “This just goes to show I will drink anything with whiskey in it.” “It tastes like real booze. This one actually makes me feel like I’m an adult.” “It makes the shake much less minty.”
Guinness Stout
Bailey’s Irish Cream
We used a bottle of real (brewed in Dublin!) Guinness to make a bastardized shandy/float thing. The mixture produced a giant foam head compared to the other beer floats you’ll find around town. We found the correct proportion is slightly more shake than beer, so don’t expect much of a buzz.
“The color is really bad—it makes it a puke-y brownish green.”
“It sure looks like shit.”
Bailey’s is a blend of whiskey, cream and coffee, tracing its illustrious history back to 1974. It’s not especially Irish. It is especially gross. Also, Bailey’s only has half as much alcohol as regular liquor and twice as many calories. It does not work well in a shake.
“This seems like something you’d feed a teenage girl to get her drunk.” “It seemed promising, but it doesn’t blend that well.”
“I don’t mind this, and I don’t like Guinness.” “It’s like an Irish Car Bomb, but better. I like the frothy creaminess of it.”
REVIEW
Opa!!
LIZ DEVINE
We’re open!
Yiayia’s Dishes a la CART!
On S.W. Stark (between 2nd & 3rd)
503-705-1001 TACO TIME: A plate of albondigas (meatballs with egg yolk in the middle) and other Mexican fare at Mi Mero Mole.
MI MERO MOLE The aroma inside Mi Mero Mole is like entering the kitchen of a Mexican grandmother—a heavenly blend of freshly made corn tortillas and simmering spices. She would insist you stay for dinner and wouldn’t let you leave without a hug. The familial vibe is fitting since Mi Mero Mole specializes in creating guisados, hot dishes meant to offer the goodness of a home-cooked meal but typically served by street vendors or in delis. It was in the neighborhoods of Mexico City—where guisados are most popular— that Portland restaurateur and foodie-about-town Nick Zukin found the inspiration for his new eatery. Zukin is the Zuke of downtown deli Kenny & Zuke’s, but Mi Mero Mole represents his first solo restaurant. Finding a niche apart from the myriad taco trucks and establishments in town, Zukin crafts an impressive array of tasty guisados. The traditional Mexican stews and stir-fries can be spooned into corn tortillas, wrapped in a burrito or simply served with beans and rice—striking a balance between made-from-scratch quality and cart efficiency. The menu details 63 varieties, but the offerings change daily depending on what’s fresh. The restaurant’s chalkboard lists available guisados with about a half-dozen options made with meat, seafood, eggs or veggies. The guisados are prepared from scratch (as are the tortillas, rice and beans) with central Mexican ingredients like chipotle, ancho and arbol chilies; fruits like pineapple, plums and raisins for Order this: Cerdo en adobo sweetness; and almonds, peanuts plato chico ($8.50). Pork in a pineapple-sweetened tangy and sesame seeds to thicken chili sauce, served with rice, sauces. The spiciness is quite beans, three tortillas and chips. mild compared to other styles Best deal: Guisado burrito ($4.50-$7.50). Choice of of Mexican food. With a lower guisado in a flour tortilla with spice tolerance myself, I found rice, beans and cheese. the medium dishes to be just hot enough, while the mild had nice flavors but essentially no heat. Dishes are prepared with standards like pork, beef or chicken—more adventurous ingredients include beef or duck heart and beef tongue—plus vegetarian, vegan or gluten-free options. The cerdo en mole manchamanteles, pork stewed in a sauce of fruits, nuts and dried chilies, was mild and slightly sweet with chunks of pork so tender they barely needed to be chewed. But the cerdo en adobo pork in a pineapple-sweetened chili sauce had the perfect combination of heat and depth of flavor. The beef heart in a dark chili sauce with cinnamon and clove was earthy, if a bit tough, and the chicken with cactus paddle was reminiscent of okra. Fried plantains with spiced sour cream make for a tasty side or dessert. Homemade aguas frescas (with a just-sweetenough horchata) and an impressive selection of tequilas wash it all down nicely. To top it all off, the tortillas are housemade from fresh masa, which makes for a slightly puffed, flakier tortilla delivered hot off the griddle. They are so good they will forever ruin you for all but your abuela’s. PENELOPE BASS.
“Massively portioned and embarrassingly delicious... both homestyle and decadent.” – Aaron Mesh, Willamette Week
lunch • happy hour • dinner 503-688-5202 • 1005 SW Park Ave. • shigezo-pdx.com
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EAT: Mi Mero Mole, 5026 SE Division St., 232-8226, mmmtacospdx.com. 5-9 pm Tuesday-Thursday, 5-10 pm Friday, 11 am-10 pm Saturday, 11 am-8 pm Sunday. $. Willamette Week MARCH 14, 2012 wweek.com
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the knife-twisting lyrics of an early Dylan (some of whose religious songs were also performed during the liturgy), so unless faithful servicegoers are familiar with the band’s more subtle digs at religion, the music probably won’t encourage them to question their faith. And anyway, Rose— who says he hasn’t studied Yorke’s faith—is less concerned with the lyrics’ intent than what they mean in a religious context. “In ‘Videotape,’ he’s talking about going to the pearly gates with the devil reaching at your heels, and having your life on a videotape,” Rose explains excitedly. “That’s a postmodern idea, taking this technology and putting it in a spiritual context.”
EXIT MUSIC (FOR A CHURCH): Joseph Rose with members of the band.
THE KING OF HYMNS TRINITY EPISCOPAL GOES BEYOND THE U2CHARIST WITH A RADIOHEAD LITURGY. BY C ASE Y JA R M A N
cjarman@wweek.com
In a sunlit, bookshelf-lined waiting room upstairs at Northwest Portland’s Trinity Episcopal Church, the Rev. William Lupfer talks casually across a coffee table about the Beatles, Carl Jung and postmodernism. “You two are wearing glasses, so you see things through those lenses,” the fleececlad preacher says with a joyful smile, turning first to me and then to 42-year-old Joseph Rose, whose thick-rimmed spectacles and graying beard frame a face that looks a little lost in reflection. “God types see God everywhere.” Rose, a member of Lupfer’s church who works as an Oregonian transportation reporter covering road rage and bus stop vandalism, keeps finding God in popular music. Since January 2010, he has led a series of “alternative liturgies,” worship services based around the music of artists like the Decemberists, Woody Guthrie, Bruce Springsteen and Johnny Cash. The series, which encourages donations to help Trinity’s mission of feeding the hungry (it served around 26,000 meals last year), began with a U2charists—a musical service built around the music of U2, which offers churches free access to its catalog with the stipulation that they raise money to combat poverty—but Rose’s presentations aren’t the tearful, arm-waving rock revivals
one often sees on television. Rose, whose service to the church began with “a really poorly attended Sunday School class,” wants attendees to think deeply about what they’re hearing. “I’m not trying to appropriate Radiohead and say they’re a Christian band,” Rose says of Trinity’s March 17 liturgy, “Give Up The Ghost: An Alternative Lenten Observance Set to the Music of Radiohead.” “I would never do that. I’m such a big fan of theirs, and I’d think it was disrespectful.” Instead, the service focuses on issues that are as layered and subtext-rich as the music itself. For Radiohead, that means reflections on consumerism and the environment as well as the feeling of 21stcentury isolation that the band captures so well on albums like OK Computer and Kid A—heady themes, but ones that Rose finds appropriate for Lent. “They’re one of the few bands that is part of the consumer culture, but also encouraging their fans to take a hard look at the energy and the capital and the human resources that go into making cheap products,” Rose says. “I think that’s something we should be exploring more as Christians.” While the Radiohead service opens a bit predictably—with a choral version of “Creep” cribbed from The Social Network soundtrack set against some relevant hymns—it moves swiftly to less hummable numbers like “You and Whose Army” and “Pyramid Song,” both contrasted with retellings of Jesus’ grisly last 24 hours. Rose says he’s considering a reading of “Fitter, Happier,” a dark, robot-read meditation on modern man that ends by comparing him
to “A pig/ in a cage/ on antibiotics.” “To me, that’s a postmodern hymn,” Rose says. Navigating the space between rebellious pop culture and more traditional organized religion can be a little hairy, as 33-year-old Mike Wenrick, a multi-instrumentalist who will help perform Radiohead tunes this week, experienced during Rose’s Bob Dylan liturgy in January. “I had some songs in mind, and one of them was ‘With God on Our Side.’ It’s a super-intense, edgy, political song that’s essentially challenging Christians, like, look, you’ve been a part of the problem in a lot of history,” Wenrick says from a pew at Trinity while members of his Radiohead band practice in the next room. “I wasn’t
“There is no meaning inherent in the text,” Lupfer adds. “People bring and give meaning to it.” “Are we going to do a death-metal liturgy? Probably not,” Rose continues. “But I think Radiohead gives a lot of openings for modern people of faith to think about something they may not get in their church.” Of course, many of those who attend alternative liturgies aren’t Christians at all, and neither Rose nor Lupfer expect them to turn into Sunday regulars. “We get a lot of folks who come but really aren’t connected to a church. They’re part of the very secular Oregon. But they feel a spiritual connection to popular music,” Rose says, noting the religious diversity even among the mostly young band playing Radiohead’s songs (which includes Rose’s daughter, Una). “A lot of Springsteen fans will talk about that.” To de-churchify things a bit, the services recently moved from Trinity’s intimidatingly beautiful cathedral—where the crunch of an electric guitar drifts up to the rafters— to the nearby Kempton Hall, which feels more like a traditional music venue. Rose talks about the Radiohead liturgy as Trinity’s most ambitious service yet. “And who knows,” he says. “People may walk away from it scratching their heads.” He maintains, though, that Radiohead is fascinating grounds for religious study. “On ‘Paranoid Android,’ there’s this whole idea of questioning whether God loves his
“TO ME, ‘FITTER, HAPPIER’ IS A POSTMODERN HYMN.” —JOSEPH ROSE sure it was going to fly.” It did, though, and in front of 500 churchgoers, Wenrick sang Dylan’s still-controversial Vietnam-era lyrics: “I can’t think for you, you’ll have to decide/ Whether Judas Iscariot had God on his side.” “Singing that song in a church, yeah, it was different than if I was singing it at an open-mic night somewhere,” Wenrick says. “I had trouble, at the very end, getting the lyrics out of my mouth. This is a sacred space, and the majority of people here were Christians. I didn’t know if they would applaud or boo.” They applauded. Then they stood up and applauded some more. “We like to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable,” Rev. Lupfer laughs of his church’s mission. “That’s what we do.” Radiohead’s Thom Yorke rarely writes
children, and then it goes into ‘Airbag,’ about this interstellar burst, and ‘I am born again’ and finding hope. Within those two songs, to me, is gospel.” For musician Mike Wenrick, the challenge is more immediate. “Every time I’ve listened to ‘Paranoid Android,’ it comes to the end and they all cut out and the electric guitar is ringing and first I think, ‘Wow, that’s an amazing song,’” he says. “And then I think, ‘How the hell are we going to pull this off?’” SEE IT: Give Up the Ghost: An Alternative Lenten Observance set to the Music of Radiohead is at Trinity Episcopal Cathedral’s Kempton Hall, 147 NW 19th Ave., on Saturday, March 17. 6 pm. Free (donations benefit Trinity’s Community Meal and Food Pantry programs). All ages.
Willamette Week MARCH 14, 2012 wweek.com
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m cm enami ns m u s i c
CRYSTAL
THE
M
C
M
E
N
A
THE DRUTHERS
WEDNESDAY, MARCH 14
WORLD’S FINEST FREE
THURSDAY, MARCH 15 5:30 p.m. is “EAGLE TimE” • FREE
WILL WEST & TANNER CUNDY
STRANGLED DARLINGS ORNRY AXES SOLD ONLY AS CURIO FREE
BEN RECTOR
FRI MAR 16 21 & OVER
THUR MAR 15 ALL AGES
THE STUDENT LOAN
Corey Henry
Ashleigh Flynn River City Pipe Band
ST. PATRICK’S DAY CELEBRATION! PHEASANT· JOLLIFF TOWERING TREES SUNDAY, MARCH 18
SAT MAR 24
(of Rebirth Brass Band) ALL AGES With special guests Orgone
ALADDIN THEATER PRESENTS SAT MAR 31 ALL AGES
In Ringlers Pub:
FREE
TUESDAY, MARCH 20
BRAD CREEL AND THE REEL DEEL
(UNLESS OTHERWISE NOTED)
HOTEL
DOORS 8pm MUSIC 9pm UNLESS NOTED
DJ’S · 10:30 PM
3/18-24
3/16
ASHER FRANK FULERO FAIRFIELD
DJ Homonym
3/17
DJ Stargazer
CRYSTAL HOTEL & BALLROOM Ballroom: 1332 W. Burnside · (503) 225-0047 · Hotel: 303 S.W. 12th Ave · (503) 972-2670
3/15
Wilsonville Old Church & Pub
Naomi LaViolette & Michele Van Kleef Husky, dusky chanteuse-ery· 7 p.m.
CASCADE TICKETS 26
3/19
IN
M CM E N A M I N S
Edgefield Winery
Skip vonKuske w/guest Seth & May
Cello that ain’t mellow 7 p.m. cascadetickets.com 1-855-CAS-TIXX
OUTLETS: CRYSTAL BALLROOM BOX OFFICE, BAGDAD THEATER, EDGEFIELD, EAST 19TH ST. CAFÉ (EUGENE)
Willamette Week MARCH 14, 2012 wweek.com
Miz Kitty’s Parlour
PDX Jazz: The Bridge Quartet: Crossing Into The Monkasphere
Saturday, April 28
Moshe Kasher
Saturday, May 5
Kentucky Derby Viewing
Saturday, May 19
PDXJazz Amina Figarova Sixtet Theresa Andersson
FREE LIVE MUSIC nIghtLy · 7 PM
ELSEWHERE
Back Fence PDX Storytelling
Tuesday, June 12
HAPPY HOUR W/ BINGO-RINGLERS 3/21 DRIVE-BY TRUCKERS 3/23 OF MONTREAL 3/29 PROGRESSIVE DINNER JAI HO!-lola’S 4/7 MARK & BRIAN 4/11 GOTYE-SOLD OUT! 4/15 RACHEL MADDOW 4/18 & 19 JEFF MANGUM 4/22 SHOOK TWINS (GNWMT) 4/23 THE NAKED & FAMOUS 4/25 ESPERANZA SPALDING 5/2 SNOW PATROL 5/4 WILD FLAG 5/10 MICKEY HART BAND 5/11 X 5/25 TRAMPLED BY TURTLES
at CRYSTAL
Arctic Man: The Movie
Thursday and Friday, March 29 & 30
Saturday, June 2
Patrick Watson
3/31
3/14-17
Think & Drink Series
Friday, March 16
MONDAY, MARCH 19
SHADOWS ON STARS SUCKERFORLIGHTS VERSO/RECTO
3/17
AL’S DEn
Wednesday, March 14
Thursday, April 19
SAT MAR 17 21 & OVER
DANCEONAIR.COM
TICKETS INCLUDE 7:45PM MEET AND GREET AND SHOW AT 9PM.
Saturday, April 14
MUSIC AT 8:30 P.M. MON-THUR 9:30 P.M. FRI & SAT
& Leprechauns!
Saturday, March 24
OPEN MIC/SINGER SONGWRITER SHOWCASE
FEATURING PORTLAND’S FINEST TALENT 6:30 P.M. SIGN-UP; 7 P.M. MUSIC· FREE
FREE
Bingo · Cat Food Band
FRI MAR 30
Carolina ALL AGES Chocolate Drops
REVERB BROTHERS
5:30 p.m. is “EAGLE TimE” • FREE
(of Living Colour)
ALADDIN THEATER PRESENTS
5:30 p.m. is “EAGLE TimE” • FREE
SATURDAY, MARCH 17
Corey Glover
WITH VJ KITTYROX
FRIDAY, MARCH 16
LUCY WAINWRIGHT-ROCHE SEA OF EXISTENCE
St. Patrick’s Day Celebration!
9 PM $5 21+OVER
M
LIVE STAGE & BIG SCREEN!
THE RECKONING 2012 TOUR
FRIDAY, MARCH 16 LOLA’S ROOM
C O
1624 N.W. Glisan • Portland 503-223-4527
STG PRESENTS
80s VIDEO DANCE ATTACK
.
MISSION THEATER
NEEDTOBREATHE:
21 & OVER
S
The historic
14th and W. Burnside
WITH SPECIAL GUEST
N
282-6810
CRYSTAL BALLROOM
A Night of Music & Merriment KEEGAN SMITH & THE FAM FEATURING ACOUSTIC MINDS KEN HANSON BAND MAX RIBNER BAND WED MAR 14
I
836 N RUSSELL • PORTLAND, OR • (503)
HOTEL & BALLROOM
Let's Dance for Harper
M
3/20
Rock Creek Tavern
Open Bluegrass Jam Better bring that banjo! 7 p.m.
Find us on
Thursday, June 21
PDX Jazz: David Friesen & Glen Moore: Bass on Top
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Event and movie info at mcmenamins.com/mission
MUSIC
MARCH 14-20
friendly. sounds great. best burger. independent. musician-owned /operated
= WW Pick. Highly recommended. Prices listed are sometimes for advance ticket sales. At-the-door increases and so-called convenience charges may apply. Event lineups are subject to change after WW’s press deadlines. See more listings online at wweek.com. Editor: CASEY JARMAN. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, go to wweek. com/submitevents and follow submission directions. All shows should be submitted two weeks or more in advance of event. Press kits, CDs and especially vinyl can be sent to Music Desk, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Please include show or release date information with all physical mailings. Email: cjarman@wweek.com. Fax: 243-1115.
WEDNESDAY, MARCH 14
of musical theater and vintage bubblegum to the mix. The group has perfected an all-access pop sound that samples generously from its past, but has trudged into the future filling a keen sonic niche all its own. AP KRYZA. Alberta Rose Theatre, 3000 NE Alberta St., 719-6055. 8 pm. $15. Minors must be accompanied by a parent. All ages.
Puscifer, Carina Round
[ELECTRO-ROCK COMEDY] Puscifer, the side project of Tool and A Perfect Circle frontman Maynard James Keenan, returns to Portland for the second trip through in support of the album Conditions of My Parole, released last year. With a rotating band in support, Keenan’s project has garnered a reputation for being both comedic and musically challenging. The stage show incorporates skits with Keenan’s alter egos, the white-trash Billy D as well as Major Douche. Musically, this is a bipolar concert experience that presents electronic- and rock-driven songs— both melding minimalism with explosive driving power and thick layers of sound—right next to each other. And it’s at the Arlene Schnitzer Hall, which means two things: It’s kind of a big deal, and it ought to be a real weird night. COLLIN GERBER. Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, 1037 SW Broadway, 248-4335. 8 pm. $36.75$58.50. All ages.
George Clinton and Parliament Funkadelic
[DAFT FUNK] Dr. Funkenstein’s now the real deal with his recent honorary doctorate from the Berklee College of Music. Somehow, though, I doubt he’s steered the Mothership into the harsh realm of Sir Nose D’voidoffunk. Despite most original Parliament Funkadelic members being preoccupied with the afterlife of shilling boots—and in spite of Clinton making only fleeting cameo appearances onstage at most shows—PF’s circuslike concerts are still the stuff of legend. For the free of mind, asses still follow. And bounce. Besides, what other doctor would prescribe bong rips and bloody marys as your postshow hangover cure?. AP KRYZA. Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside St., 225-0047. 9 pm. $25 advance, $27 day of show. 21+.
THURSDAY, MARCH 15 Brainstorm, Sun Angle, Adventures! with Might
Bison Bison, American Friction, Jr. Worship
[BEASTLY ROCK] As someone who grew up in the heyday of a sludgerock scene that included bands like the Jesus Lizard and labels such as Amphetamine Reptile, it’s particularly gratifying to hear so many current bands using that cesspool of sound for inspiration. One of the best local outfits drinking from those waters is Bison Bison. The St. Johns-based trio stands firmly on a foundation of intense rhythms and guitar noise that locks you in a hot, sweaty embrace while including a bit of spacey prog wanderings in the mix to make sure you’re paying attention. ROBERT HAM. The Know, 2026 NE Alberta St., 473-8729. 8 pm. Cover. 21+.
FRIDAY, MARCH 16 The Bylines
[RETRO POP] Marianna and the Baby Vamps are now the Bylines, but much of the band’s doo-woppy, soul and swing sound (and all of its members) remain. While you won’t hear as many covers these days, the band’s self-titled debut offers the same swingy 1960s radio-pop feel as it did under the previous moniker, with a Randy Newman-ish sensibility permeating soulful tunes by Marianna Thielen and Reece Marshburn, who add a healthy dose
[DANCE OF DEATH] Local label Sweating Tapes, careful curator of synth-based gloom, celebrates the release of A Compilation. Volume 1: Portland with three of its grimmer affiliates this evening. Portland’s ASSS and Vice Device will be on KELECHI AMADIOBI
[NEW-LOOK AFROPOP] Portland’s favorite duo of groove merchants, Brainstorm, has been keeping quite busy for the past few months. The group pulled off a successful Kickstarter campaign to help fund the recording of its new album, Heat Waves, a sparkling collection of uptempo African-inspired pop. And driven by a creative burst, the group has been writing brand-new material for an upcoming tour of the West Coast. Brainstorm will not only debut a pair of fresh tunes at tonight’s show but will also debut a new lineup with the original duo of drummer-vocalist Adam Baz and guitarist-vocalist Patrick Phillips augmented by bassist Tamara Barnes. ROBERT HAM. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 288-3895. 9 pm. $7. 21+.
Vice Device, Deathday, ASSS, Sick Jaggers DJs
hand with tenebrous throbs both danceable and vaguely unsettling, and you can rest assured the heaviness will be brought. Still, I’m betting the night’s going to belong to Los Angeles quartet Deathday, whose newly released self-titled album hypnotizes and intermittently shocks with droning, depressive post-punk. It is the menacing sort of midnight music the Cure should have continued to pursue after Pornography. Which means it is great. CHRIS STAMM. Rotture, 315 SE 3rd Ave., 234-5683. 9 pm. $6. 21+.
SATURDAY, MARCH 17 Live Wire!: Thomas Lauderdale, Kathleen Saadat, John Roderick
[VARIETY SHOW!] Stand down, Garrison Keillor, because Stumptown’s beloved variety show rings in its 100th live taping tonight with performances from gentle giant John Roderick (of Long Winters and Twitter fame) as well as Pink Martini’s decorated maestro, Thomas Lauderdale. The latter will take the stage with activist Kathleen
MIC CHECK
LOWER 48
Seun Kuti: “For me, it’s not about tradition. Afrobeat has to be the heaviest sound around today, just because we’re not talking about selfish things like clothes and cars. We’re talking about the real things of life. In the ’60s and ’70s, music was independent. Music was radical. Everybody was singing about change and progressiveness. It’s not like today. The corporations bought all the music, and now they use the music to sell their Champagne and their cars and their good life. Music has to talk about the majority of the people. Everybody in the world cannot afford the lifestyle mainstream music is portraying. If music is not for the people, it’s not real music.” SEE IT: Seun Kuti & Egypt 80 play the Mt. Tabor Theater, 4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd., on Saturday, March 17, with Afromassive. 8 pm. $20. 21+.
BRAINSTORM SUN ANGLE
+ADVENTURES! WITH MIGHT JOHN HEART JACKIE $5 Adv THUR MARCH 15th +ALINA HARDIN
WED MARCH 14th
$6 Adv
Join Baby Ketten for a truly Irish karaoke extravaganza
BABY KETTEN
Sensitive and stark acoustics form a voluminous grandeur, angel-voiced ruminations making for gentle folk songs that shine
KARAOKE ST. PATRICK’S DAY
WILLIAM
FITZSIMMONS +DENISON WITMER
SAT MARCH 17th FRI MARCH 16th
$17 Adv
Buoyant and globe-trotting indie-pop from local favorites
ANIMAL EYES
FREE
Whole Foods Market Laurelhurst presents a benefit show for Whole Planet Foundation
THE
BROTHERS OF THE
BALADI
+FANNO CREEK SUN MARCH 18th
FREE
feat. dancer RACHAEL BRICE 7:00 Doors, 8:00 Show
+TERRY ROBB A hypnotic balladry of instrumental psychedelics
TUE MARCH 20th
$15 Adv
DUSTIN WONG (OF PONYTAIL) LONEY DEAR +WHITE FANG
See Swedish singer-songwriter Emil Svanangen perform a highly-anticipated solo showcase while on tour wiith of Montreal
BY MATTHEW SINGER
Although he usually performed barefoot (and covered in little more than sweat and face paint), when Fela Kuti died in 1997, he left behind massive shoes to fill. For 30 years, the Nigerian bandleader reigned over the genre of Afrobeat, a brand of Africanized funk he invented and controlled so masterfully no one even attempted to step up as a potential successor. It ultimately fell to Fela’s youngest son, Seun, who was only 14 years old at the time of his father’s death, to pick up the torch. In contrast to the music of his older brother Femi, who began blending their dad’s horn-drenched polyrhythms with elements of hip-hop in the late ’80s, Seun (pronounced “Shay-oon”) adheres to the traditional sound of Afrobeat, to the point that last year’s magnificent From Africa with Fury: Rise, produced by Brian Eno and featuring members of Fela Kuti’s band Egypt 80, could be a lost Fela album from the 1970s. But, as Seun explained over a shaky phone connection from Nigeria, his devotion to the style is less out of obligation to the family legacy than to following his own political consciousness.
Playful, weird, and electric, tonight is a bill of energetic local faves
The
CONT. on page 29
SEUN KUTI
info@mississippistudios.com
Heartfelt and homespun folk of swelling strings and gorgeous vocals
Pinehurst Kids, Wolfman Fairies, Modern Lives
[ALT-ROCK] Before enjoying the Pinehurst Kids, there are several hurdles’ worth of cognitive dissonance that must be surmounted. First, there’s the fact that the trio is composed of “kids” in only the most nominal sense. Founded in 1996, the Pinehurst Kids have been around for more than a decade and a half, bearing the torch of the mid’90s’ greatest rock practitioners valiantly into the 21st century. On the split 7-inch being released tonight by Pinehurst Kids and Wolfman Fairies, both the Kids and the Fairies show admirable traces of Sunny Day Real Estate and Nirvana, and hell, it’s about time for this material to enjoy a resurgence, assuming of course they’re willing to dump that reference to the Macarena. SHANE DANAHER. The Know, 2026 NE Alberta St., 4738729. 8 pm. Free. 21+.
Doors @ 8pm, Show @ 9pm, unless otherwise noted
503.288.3895 3939 N. Mississippi
WOODSMAN
WED MARCH 21st
$8 Adv
+SISTER CRAYON Mississippi Studios Presents at The Crystal Ballroom
OF MONTREAL
DEERHOOF +KISHI BASHI
FRI MARCH 23rd
@ Crystal Ballroom ALL AGES!
$14.99 Adv
Plants & Animals tours in support of their album, The End of That, on Secret City Records
PLANTS
THUR MARCH 22nd
$12 Adv
Celebrated frontman of Swans graces our stage with innovative acoustic-based songs
MICHAEL
GIRA SIR RICHARD BISHOP +MIKE SCHEIDT (of YOB) FRI MARCH 23rd
$13 Adv
Critically-acclaimed chamber folk from a Portland sextet
LOCHDINOSAUR LOMOND FEATHERS
& ANIMALS
+LEMOLO LITTLE SCREAM +HOSANNAS SAT MARCH 24th
$12 Adv
Coming Soon: 3/25 3/26 3/27 3/28
- GUSTAFER YELLOW GOLD (Early) - HOWLER - MARCUS FOSTER - TERROR PIGEON DANCE REVOLT 3/29 - YACHT 3/30 - THE LUMINEERS 3/31 - DREW GROW & THE PASTOR’S WIVES
SUN MARCH 25th
4/1 4/3 4/4 4/5 4/6
- ABIGAIL WASHBURN - RUSTED ROOT - THE PRUITT-IGOE MYTH - VIVA VOCE - THROW ME THE STATUE (At Star Theater) 4/6 - MIKE DOUGHTY (Soul Coughing) 4/7 - THE WEDDING PRESENT 4/9 - OBERHOFER
$8 Adv
Scan this for show info
& free music
www.mississippistudios.com Willamette Week MARCH 14, 2012 wweek.com
27
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY MUSIC MILLENNIUM CELEBRATES 43 YEARS!
COME CELEBRATE WITH US ON MARCH 15TH AT 5:30 PM • FREE CAKE & BEVERAGES!
ANI DIFRANCO
IMPENDING DOOM
ON SALE $12.99 CD LP ALSO AVAILABLE APPEARING SATURDAY 3/31 @ ROSELAND
ON SALE $9.99 CD APPEARING MONDAY 4/2 @ HAWTHORNE THEATER
¿WHICH SIDE ARE YOU ON?
‘¿Which Side Are You On?’ marks singer/ songwriter/guitarist Ani DiFranco’s first studio album in more than three years and features 11 new songs alongside a radically reworked rendition of the classic title song. Guest players includes Ivan and Cyril Neville, avant-saxophonist Skerik (Pearl Jam, R.E.M., Bonnie Raitt, The Meters), singer/songwriter Anaïs Mitchell, guitarist Adam Levy (Norah Jones,Tracy Chapman, Amos Lee), and a host of New Orleans-based horn players.
BAPTIZED IN FILTH
Baptized In Filth is the newest album from these Southern California Death Metal road warriors. Produced by Andreas Magnusson (The Black Dahlia Murder) and Machine, this is the bands most ferocious effort to date. Bassist David Sittig comments: “Baptized In Filth represents the mindless indulgence and self worship in the vile world we live in. This album is meant to scare the hell out of you!”
JC BROOKS AND THE UPTOWN SOUND
ANGELE DUBEAU & LA PIETA
ON SALE $9.99 CD APPEARING SATURDAY 3/31 @ HOLOCENE
AVAILABLE AT CLASSICAL MILLENNIUM ON SALE $14.99 CD
Born in the great melting pot of Chicago’s Uptown neighborhood in 2007, guitarist Billy Bungeroth, drummer Kevin Marks, and bassist Ben Taylor joined forces with the Lowdown Horns to lay a ferocious foundation for the soulful shouts of Mr. JC Brooks. The son of a Jersey funk diva set adrift by the disco era, JC is renowned for his take-no-prisoners stage style, giving you no other option than to get up and move!
A Word from Angèle Dubeau: I have chosen musical moments that speak to me, film music that is particularly appealing, and great musical pieces that inspire images. My relationship to this music is not the kind chosen by composers, who have created emotions that are attached to images, to a reality conceived for film. Rather, I was inspired by pure music, ignoring conveyed images, and taking it elsewhere in order to recreate my own musical universe.
WANT MORE
A TIME FOR US
ESPERANZA SPALDING RADIO MUSIC SOCIETY AVAILABLE 3/20
ON SALE $10.99 CD / $13.99 CD/DVD DELUXE FREE SIGNED BOOKLET TO THE FIRST 300 PEOPLE WHO PURCHASE THE ALBUM APPEARING WEDNESDAY APRIL 25TH @ CRYSTAL BALLROOM
‘Radio Music Society’ is a companion rather than a sequel to ‘Chamber Music Society.’ It is a celebration of the men and women who have helped cultivate Spalding’s talent, as well as those who have nurtured her vision and inspired her along the way.
CONGRATULATIONS ON 43 YEARS IN BUSINESS FROM FONTANA! -
MACY GRAY COVERED
AVAILABLE 3/26 ON SALE $12.99 CD Grammy-Award winning R&B & Soul singer-songwriter, Macy Gray, returns with an extraordinary album of covers from the biggest artists in rock. Her brilliant interpretations of songs from Metallica, Radiohead, Arcade Fire, and many others shine a light on her unique artistry and passion.
CANDLEBOX
LOVE STORIES & OTHER MUSINGS
AVAILABLE 4/3 ON SALE 10.99 CD ‘Love Stories & Other Musings’ is the first studio release in four years from Candlebox. The album includes 9 brand new tracks and 5 re-recordings of their biggest hits.
KAISER CHIEFS
START THE REVOLUTION WITHOUT ME
POND
BEARD, WIVES, DENIM
ON SALE $9.99 CD ‘Start The Revolution Without Me’ is a reworking of their UK album ‘The Future Is Medieval’ and contains tracks not available on that release. The band worked with producers Tony Visconti (David Bowie, Iggy Pop, T. Rex), Ethan Johns (Kings of Leon, Ray LaMontagne, Emmylou Harris) and Owen Morris (Oasis, The Verve) as well as producing their own tracks with drummer/songwriter Nick Hodgson at the controls.
ON SALE $9.99 CD Pond is an Australian band (not to be confused with the critically acclaimed Oregon band who split in ‘98). Mixed by Kevin Parker and Rob Grant at Poon’s Head Studio in Perth, ‘Beard, Wives, Denim’ is an audio diary of ten friends’ strange, terrible and blissful time in the country trying in vain to be a wholesome family band.
OFFER GOOD THRU: 4/10/12 28
Willamette Week MARCH 14, 2012 wweek.com
SATURDAY
Amadan, Coming Up 3’s
[CELTIC PUNK] It seems a matter of course that Amadan should play Portland on St. Patrick’s Day. Founded nearly a dozen years ago, Amadan was part of the original wave of blue-collar tinkerers who made a closet industry of grafting Celtic folk tunes onto the thundering framework of punk rock. Though never reaching the heights of popularity enjoyed by Flogging Molly, Amadan nonetheless boasted a marathon stretch of activity in the mid-aughts, serving as the de facto house band for Kells and notching a whopping 1,500 live shows onto its belt. Membership upheavals have made the group quieter in recent years, though “quieter” is in this case a relative term. SHANE DANAHER. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., 231-9663. 9 pm. $10. 21+.
Grandparents, The We Shared Milk, Talkative
[ACID-GAZE] Portland passive-rockers Grandparents should find an audience easily, thanks in part to the current resurgence of DIY lo-fi rock. The band belongs amid such frontrunners in the field as Oberhofer, Real Estate and Sea Lions, despite deviating somewhat with its garagerock outbursts. Despite a controlling grip on its reins, Grandparents is not above the fuzzy guitar spells and woozy vocal harmonies typically associated with Southern rock. Having dropped Fumes, a selfrecorded EP with shimmering rays of subdued surf rock and shoegaze, earlier this year, Grandparents is an intoxicating multiheaded machine, one very much worth submitting to. MARK STOCK. Kelly’s Olympian, 426 SW Washington St., 228-3669. 9 pm. Free. 21+.
The Raincoats, Grass Widow, Tombstalker, Stay Calm
[RETURN OF THE RAINCOATS] The story of the Raincoats is one that has some fairly strong roots here in the Northwest. Thanks to one of the post-punk outfit’s most vocal fans, Kurt Cobain, the Raincoats’ first three LPs of angular, scratchy pop were reissued on a major U.S. label, inspiring the original lineup to reunite for a stretch in the ’90s. And
CONT. on page 33
Present that night’s show ticket and get $3 off any menu item Sun - Thur in the dining room
PROFILE
DOUG FIR RESTAURANT + BAR OPEN 7AM - 2:30AM EVERYDAY SERVING BREAKFAST, LUNCH, DINNER, LATE-NIGHT. FOOD SPECIALS 3-6 PM EVERYDAY COVERED SMOKING PATIO, FIREPLACE ROOM, LOTS OF LOG. LIVE SHOWS IN THE LOUNGE...
Sandpeople, Uno Lavoz, Calvin Valentine, TxE, Quiz, V. Dewayne (hosted by Andy Milonakis)
[RAP BEAST] Far too many Voltron references have been used to describe hip-hop supergroup reunions, so let’s just say that this show is sort of like getting the old G.I. Joe squad back together for a very dangerous mission. The nine-piece (at last count) Portland outfit comprises specialists in production, design, promotion and swagger, allowing them to exist as a sort of DIY hip-hop factory. As of late, though, that factory has been boarded up and neglected: In the past two years, Sandpeople has been known more for a few of its parts than as a group. It has been three years since the excellent Long Story Short EP dropped and Sandpeople’s Web game—which thrived in the MySpace era—is in especially sad condition. Leave it to a booze holiday to get the gang back together: This St. Paddy’s Day miracle might mark the start of a new era in Northwest hip-hop, or it could be another false start. Here’s hoping for the former. CASEY JARMAN. Branx, 320 SE 2nd Ave., 234-5683. 8:30 pm. $10 advance, $13 day of show. All ages.
MAKE IT A NIGHT
J E R R YJ O S E P H . C O M
Saadat for what’s being billed as a “socially conscious musical adventure.” Given the pair’s recent time shared at Occupy and Lauderdale’s keen political—and musical—ear, one can expect an animated mixture of sophisticated commentary and classically oriented piano magic. MARK STOCK. Alberta Rose Theatre, 3000 NE Alberta St., 719-6055. 7:30 pm. $18 advance, $20 day of show. Minors must be accompanied by a parent or guardian. All ages.
MUSIC
A PRE-SPRING EVENING OF PDX INDIE-FOLK-POP
GREAT WILDERNESS
WEDNESDAY!
MOSLEY WOTTA
& THE GREAT NORTH WOODS
THURSDAY MARCH 15 •
+BARNA HOWARD
[SINGER-SONGROCKER] Plenty of artists have fallen through the music-biz cracks, but few have lodged in those cracks like an irritant in an oyster and spent the next couple of decades cranking out pearls. Equally celebrated and neglected, Jerry Joseph is one who has. He encapsulates his dilemma thusly: “We can’t open for a hippie band because we sound too much like Dinosaur Jr., and we can’t open for Dinosaur Jr. because we’re associated with some hippie band.” That hippie band would be Georgia jammers Widespread Panic, a few of whose live staples were penned by Joseph—but don’t expect him to exploit that market, either, having griped publicly about the preponderance of Confederate flags at Widespread gigs. Joseph’s trio, the Jackmormons, hits too hard for hippies, anyway. But Joseph has led them into battle for some 17 years, building a cult whose passion any stadium-filling act would envy. He rewards that loyalty with boundless onstage energy and searingly personal songwriting. It’s not every sobered-up ex-junkie who’d start his album singing, “I’ve gotta tell ya, I’d really love to get high.” But it’s not every 50-year-old rocker who unexpectedly issues his strongest work yet, though Joseph may have done just that with new double album Happy Book. Joseph says he always wanted to make a double disc, but never knew if he’d have enough top-notch songs to pull it off. But after combing through a backlog of several dozen unrecorded songs, only three were chosen; the album’s other dozen tracks were written in a period full of creative compost: the first anniversary of his sobriety (he’s nearing three years now), the birth of his son, and his father’s death. That mix of mourning and hope, turmoil and hard-won clarity, yields an album of rich emotional and musical textures—perfect for the kind of eclectic double record exemplified by the Beatles’ “White Album” or the Clash’s London Calling. Portland’s finest shine on the collection, as on strummy shuffle “Radio Cab,” with indelible chorus harmonies by country siren Little Sue. Joseph correctly identifies “a suggested intimacy” in “the way her voice works with mine.” Sue sings on a couple of other numbers, too, including the sinister “Anaconda,” featuring hypnotic banjo by Decemberist Chris Funk. Funk’s bandmate Jenny Conlee—who happens to be married to Jackmormons drummer Steve Drizos—adds some glorious organ to the soulful “Temple of Love,” among others, while disc-two-opening rocker “Mile High, Mile Deep” is blasted skyward by a Stax-y horn section. The album’s intensity and generosity show that Joseph’s flame has not cooled, but he’s learning better how to tend it. Even these strong songs, though, can’t match Joseph’s probably unattainable ideal. Asked for a favorite songwriting moment from his long career, he answers: “Maybe the first song I ever wrote, when I was 6, when I realized you could make up words and put a guitar to it. It was called ‘Love Land’: ‘I know a game you can never win/ I know a game you can never lose/ The game is love/ We’ll go to Love Land/ Where most of the sand/ Is love sand’. And I’ve never been able to write as cool a song for the rest of my frickin’ life.” JEFF ROSENBERG.
They can’t all be “Love Land.”
SEE IT: Jerry Joseph and the Jackmormons play Dante’s, 350 W Burnside St., on Friday, March 16. 9 pm. $10. 21+.
THURSDAY!
WORTH +JARROD LAWSON
HARLOWE
JERRY JOSEPH AND THE JACKMORMONS FRIDAY, MARCH 16
DOUG FIR AND OCTOPUS ENTERTAINMENT PRESENT
WEDNESDAY MARCH 14 •
$5 ADVANCE
AN ALBUM RELEASE CELEBRATION WITH GUITAR SHREDDER
FRIDAY!
SCOTT PEMBERTON
$8 ADVANCE
ST. PATTY’S THROW-DOWN WITH CELTIC-PUNK FAVES
AMADAN
SATURDAY!
+COMING UP 3s
SATURDAY MARCH 17 •
$10 ADVANCE
A FREE SHOWCASE OF UP-AND-COMING INDIE ELECTRO/POP
+THE ACORN PROJECT
FRIDAY MARCH 16
•
$12 ADVANCE
EASY BREEZY FOLK ROCK FROM SF
BEISBOL MORNING PARADE +ADVENTURE GALLEY
MONDAY MARCH 19
VETIVER +GOLD LEAVES
SUNDAY MARCH 18
•
$13 ADVANCE
•
FREE
ROBERT SCHWARTZMAN
A CO-HEALINE AFFAIR WITH SOLO POWER-POP ENTREPRENEURS
THE RELATIONSHIP
(feat. BRIAN BELL of WEEZER) ENERGETIC POST-INDIE ROCK FROM BROOKLYN
WHITE
RABBITS THURSDAY MARCH 22 •
+GULL
$12 ADVANCE
A CO-HEADLINE AFFAIR OF WEST COAST ELECTRO/TRIP-HOP
YPPAH ANOMIE BELLE +CARS & TRAINS
SATURDAY MARCH 24
•
$10 ADVANCE
EARNEST AND ANTHEMIC INDIE ROCK FROM BROOKLYN
+BELLAMAINE
WEDNESDAY MARCH 21 •
THE RETURN OF SPASTIC ART ROCK FROM CLEVELAND
MR. GNOME
PT. JUNCTURE WA +SUN ANGLE
FRIDAY MARCH 23
•
LOST IN THE TREES
+POOR MOON
SUNDAY MARCH 25
$8 ADVANCE
CRITICALLY-ACCLAIMED FOLK-OPERA FROM SINGER/SONGWRITER
ANAIS MITCHELL PRESENTS
HADESTOWN WITH VERY SPECIAL GUESTS INCLUDING: SLEATER-KINNEY’S CORIN TUCKER PLAYING THE PART OF PERSEPHONE, NICK JAINA IN THE ROLE OF ORPHEUS, AND MORE TO BE ANNOUNCED SOON!
WEDNESDAY MARCH 28 •
$16 ADVANCE
•
$10 ADVANCE
AN EVENING WITH BELOVED ROCKER/MEMBER OF THE INDIGO GIRLS WITH HER BAND
AMY
1,2,3 +KID SAVANT
•
$8 ADVANCE
INDIE ROCK / CLASSICAL FROM CHAPEL HILL
MILAGRES
MONDAY MARCH 26
$8 ADVANCE
RAY
+LINDSAY FULLER
TUESDAY MARCH 27
•
$15 ADVANCE
PORTLAND CELLO PROJECT album release 4/13 & 4/14 plus 4/14 all ages matinee Y LA BAMBA - 4/21 MY GOODNESS - 4/27 FATHER JOHN MISTY - 5/8 TYCHO + ACTIVE CHILD - 5/25 EMILY WELLS - 6/2 All of these shows on sale at Ticketfly.com
LEIGH MARBLE 3/29 • EMANCIPATOR 3/30 • MEGAFAUN 3/31 • HOT SNAKES 4/1 JOHN K SAMSON & THE PROVINCIAL BAND 4/2 • BOWERBIRDS 4/4 SWERVEDRIVER 4/5 • FIREHOSE 4/6 • FANFARLO 4/7 • CHAIRLIFT 4/8 ADVANCE TICKETS AT TICKETFLY - www.ticketfly.com and JACKPOT RECORDS • SUBJECT TO SERVICE CHARGE &/OR USER FEE ALL SHOWS: 8PM DOORS / 9PM SHOW • 21+ UNLESS NOTED • BOX OFFICE OPENS 1/2 HOUR BEFORE DOORS • ROOM PACKAGES AVAILABLE AT www.jupiterhotel.com
Willamette Week MARCH 14, 2012 wweek.com
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Willamette Week MARCH 14, 2012 wweek.com
MUSIC SCOTTPEMBERTON.COM
PROFILE
DATES HERE
Clutch Events Presents
Lupe Fiasco
with LLOYD and Special Guests DJ O.G.One
At the Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall
Friday March 23rd 8pm
Tickets available at TicketMaster.com PCPA Box Office (1111 SW Broadway, open M-SA 10-5), and all TicketMaster outlets, online (www.ticketmaster.com), or charge by phone800.745.3000.
SCOTT PEMBERTON FRIDAY, MARCH 16 [FUNKY BAR ROCK] In one alternate universe, Scott Pemberton is dead. In another, he’s a vegetable, with his wife keeping careful vigil, looking for a sign of life in his steely blue eyes. Luckily, in this universe, the Portland guitarist is alive and well. Those eyes are vibrant as he sips a beer at a pizza joint on Southeast Hawthorne Boulevard and chats about the impending release of his first studio album, Sugar Mama. If you’ve frequented the Portland music scene in the past 15 years, you’ve probably heard a nasty-ass lick from Pemberton. He’s spent 15 years making others sound great, shredding with Triclops; jamming with Joey Porter, Everyone Orchestra and Piano Throwers; and working as a session player. Now Pemberton’s front and center. All it took to get him there was a brush with death. The incident is a blur. Two years ago, bike met car. Doctors said Pemberton was unlikely to live. If he did, he might never speak again. Days later, Pemberton snapped to. After time, he started to play music again. He saw his path. “Before, it was like having a whole bunch of little pots going,” Pemberton says. “[After], I was able to focus on one great thing. It’s been clear that this is the correct path. It was almost like, as weird as it sounds, being born again. I was brand new. My memories were hazy at best, but I could play the shit out of the guitar.” Suddenly, Pemberton and a rotating lineup of musicians were packing the Goodfoot with free shows every Tuesday, forming a community of fans numbering as many as 400 who flocked to see the guitarist shred. His newfound confidence led to Sugar Mama, Pemberton’s first studio album, whose title pays homage to his wife, Winter. The album—produced by hero-turned-friend and Los Lobos sax player Steve Berlin and featuring such guests as legendary local bluesman Curtis Salgado—jackknifes playfully from the dirty funk of “Let’s Play House” to the giddy rock of the title track and the experimentation of the metal-lite “Juice Box.” Classic rock, jazz, psychedelia and everything in between collide and fuse around the notion of discovery that jumps with ease from the composer to the listener in a hyper-caffeinated cocktail of bar music done right. The album features 11 cohesive tracks that speak equally to Pemberton’s multigenre mastery and his ability as a clever lyricist to convey fun while digging deep. The complexity of Sugar Mama is epitomized by “Bubble,” a song about parallel existences that Pemberton cites as indicative of his mindset. “This little bubble is just so much fun/ There could be no other bubble, baby, quite like this one,” he sings Seussically over a Latin-surf signature. Later in the song, though, things turn deceptively dark with the refrain, “Without you, I’d probably be dead.” “Whenever shit hits the fan, there’s this other new bubble where everything’s fine,” Pemberton says. “[But] in this other bubble, I’m dead or I have gnarly brain damage. But in this other bubble, I’m perfectly fine. I’ve got a beautiful girl and a nice house, and Steve Berlin plays on my record. “It seems almost too good to be true.” AP KRYZA. A near-death experience led to Scott Pemberton’s rock rebirth.
SEE IT: Scott Pemberton plays Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., on Friday, March 16, with the Acorn Project. 9 pm. $12 advance, $15 day of show. 21+. Willamette Week MARCH 14, 2012 wweek.com
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DRINK DRINK 2011
Willamette Week’s complete guide to nightlif
Willamette Week’s complete guide to nightlife in Portland.
RAMOS GIN FIZZ
POK POK BLOODY MARY
Teardrop Lounge
Whiskey Soda Lounge
HOFBRÄU HELLES Beaker and Flask
Prost!
2011
DRINK
RAMOS GIN FIZZ
POK POK BLOODY MARY
Teardrop Lounge
Whiskey Soda Lounge
Beaker an
Willamette Week’s complete guide to nightlife in Portland. SPANISH COFFEE
AVIATION
ZOMBIE
Local Lounge
Vintage
Gold Dust Meridian
THE ALBERTA
NEGRONI
DEAD WEATHER
Branch
Clyde Common
Cruzroom
RAMOS GIN FIZZ
POK POK BLOODY MARY
GROUNDED FOR LIFE
Teardrop Lounge
Whiskey Soda Lounge
Beaker and Flask
SPANISH COFFEE
HOFBRÄ
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AVIATION Vintage
Gold Dust
NEGRONI
DEAD W SCOW Cruzr
THE ALBERTA AVIATION Branch Vintage
THE ALBERTA
NEGRONI
DEAD WEATHER
Branch
Clyde Common
Cruzroom
Space Reservation & Materials Deadline Tuesday, April 3 at 4pm Call • 503 243 2122 Email advertising@wweek.com Willamette Week MARCH 14, 2012 wweek.com
P Observatory
Local Lounge
PUBLISHES April 11, 2012
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Lounge
SPANISH COFFEE
ZOMBIE Clyde Common Gold Dust Meridian
Local Lounge
SCOW MULE
ZOM
Obs
SATURDAY-TUESDAY
Frank Fairfield
[OLD-TIME FOLK] Frank Fairfield was probably born spouting folk tunes. He’s that good. And lucky for us, he’s about 90 years late— considering his tunes sound like something that came out of Appalachia in the ’20s. Getting his start while busking the streets of Los Angeles, the then-21-yearold impressed Foreign Born frontman Matt Popieluch so much that he landed Fairfield a spot on tour with Fleet Foxes and a home with record label Tompkins Square. It’s no wonder that opportunities just sort of find Fairfield: He plays the fiddle, banjo and guitar with the kind of touch that comes from a full lifetime of practice, if at all. Pulling from a repertoire of traditional American folk ballads as well as an array of befitting original songs, he is quite a sight to see live—and Portland gets him for seven nights in a row, starting tonight. EMILEE BOOHER. Al’s Den at the Crystal Hotel, 303 SW 12th Ave., 972-2670. 7 pm. Free. 21+.
Animal Eyes, Fanno Creek
[EXPERIMENTS IN POP] It would be easy to say Animal Eyes sounds like the Dirty Projectors hanging out with Grizzly Bear, but I won’t. The groups have similar characteristics (quick, whirring guitar riffs; layers of shiny vocals; bright, experimental undertones), but direct comparisons sell the band short. Found in the Forest, the group’s debut album released last November, holds 10 invaluable and far-flung tracks. From the quick and campy accordion featured on “Sweet Eyes” to the bluesy, mountainous sound of “Goat Chasing,” Animal Eyes is a genre-bending pop group that’s not afraid to do things its way. Tonight the band shares the stage with Fanno Creek, a jaunty, percussion-heavy group from Forest
rack ’e m
Dan Balmer, John Stowell, Mike Pardew (Portland Guitar Summit and Les Paul tribute)
[JAZZ] This summit of three local jazz guitarists gets together to honor guitar pioneer and legend Les Paul. A rock icon if ever there was one, Paul also pioneered multitrack recording immediately following World War II. John Stowell has played many solo gigs over the years, but this is a rare chance to catch him interacting not just with other musicians, but with other equally accomplished guitarists. His smooth, round tone will mix well with the bursts of power and sometimes dizzying flights of Dan Balmer’s playing. Mike Pardew is not as established, locally, as the other two guitarists, but the fact that Stowell and Balmer consider him a peer speaks highly for him. DAN DEPREZ. Nel Centro, 1408 SW 6th Ave., 484-1099. 3 pm. $20 advance, $25 day of show. All ages.
TUESDAY, MARCH 20 Mudhoney, Feedtime
[TOUCH ME, I’M DEAF] Anyone who attended Slabtown’s 2009 Bender got spoiled by Mudhoney. In the punk- and garage-rock minifestival’s greatest coup yet, it got the legendary Seattle proto-grunge warhorse to headline, and the band proceeded to inflict the audience lucky enough to cram inside the exceedingly tiny venue with a bout of instant tinnitus, myself included. Seriously, check YouTube for clips of the group barreling through scuzz-rock classics like “Touch Me, I’m Sick” and “Hate the Cops”; the club looks like it’s about to collapse under the weight of all the awesome. Suffice to say, it was the loudest show I’ve ever witnessed, and one of the coolest concert experiences I’ve taken part in. I’m sure the band will be just as great here—even though it hasn’t put out an album since 2008’s The Lucky Ones—but you just can’t beat the inflamed intimacy of seeing them destroy Slabtown. MATTHEW SINGER. Star Theater, 13 NW 6th Ave. 9 pm. $15 advance, $18 day of show. 21+.
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SUNDAY, MARCH 18
Grove, for the first slice in a series of free monthly shows presented by OPB and Mississippi Studios. NIKKI VOLPICELLI. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 288-3895. 9 pm. Free. 21+.
DATES HERE
1
it is local imprint Kill Rock Stars that helped bring The Raincoats back to life in 2008 with a brandnew edition of its self-titled debut. This time around, the group is doing another quick U.S. tour to support its self-released remaster of the second LP, the dreamy and minimalist Odyshape. ROBERT HAM. Star Theater, 13 NW 6th Ave. 9 pm. $12 advance, $14 day of show. 21+.
MUSIC
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Saturday March 17
aFRoBEat RoyaLty with FELa’S Band SEun kuti & Egypt 80 aFRomaSSivE Tuesday March 20
BY JAY HORTON
KMRIA Formed: Around Christmas Eve 2005, when Portland musicians Ezra Holbrook and Jenny Conlee-Drizos first shared an admiration for the Pogues’ “Fairytale of New York.” KMRIA (Kiss My Royal Irish Arse) was formed shortly thereafter and has performed in Portland on five of the last six St. Paddy’s Days. Sounds like: The Pogues, though no one here attempts to ape Shane MacGowan’s shambling grandeur. For fans of: The Pogues. Though the Minus Five, Black Prairie, Caleb Klauder Country Band, the Eels, Norway Rats, Celtic Conspiracy, and R.E.M. are some of KMRIA’s members’ side projects. Why you care: There might be more authentic troupes plowing the golden songbook and certainly more practiced variants than the annual collective, but you’re not going to find anything resembling the blend of instrumental facility and rollicking, nervy swagger—no less an authority than original Pogue James Fearnley helped navigate the group through some of the trickier instrumental thickets (he approached Chris Funk and Conlee-Drizos; Decemberist-ship has its privileges). Even if the band won’t dare match the famously booze-sodden hijinks of its forebears, this first weekend St. Paddy’s show since the inaugural Doug Fir performance should see the crowd more than compensate. SEE IT: KMRIA plays Wonder Ballroom, 128 NE Russell St., on Saturday, March 17, with Sassparilla. 9 pm. $13. 21+.
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tickets and info
www.thetabor.com 503-360-1450 facebook.com/mttabortheater
Dear friend, Four out of five people that show up in my office have taken “every” test, wound up with huge medical bills, and are still no better off. Often, they’ve been subjected to medications that have only served to temporarily mask symptoms. That’s not what most people are looking for. Often, these people get frustrated and wind up in my office. I’m used to it….it’s fine with me. Years ago, I was an assistant editor for Spirituality & Health magazine in NYC. My office was in the financial district and I had a stunning view of the World Trade center. All was fine by me. But then, 9/11 happens and I have front row seats. Debilitating fatigue sets in and I lose my drive and focus. Everything feels like an effort, yet I desperately want to keep my job. My MD tells me there’s nothing I can do about it and despite suggestions, I have no interest in talking to a therapist. Instead, I find a Neuro Emotional Technique (NET) practitioner. I feel so much relief after the very first visit. I don’t have to take drugs or talk about my feelings for weeks or months on end. After a few months, I feel better than ever! Ten years ago NET saved my life. It allowed me to have more energy, less pain, and more happiness despite living through the aftermath of September 11th. I was so impressed that I earned a doctorate in psychology so that I could learn NET and help others. Now, people from Portland come to see me for their fatigue, painful joints, unhappiness, PTSD, chronic health conditions, anxiety, weight loss blocks, and relationships issues, just to name a few. These neighbors of yours tell their stories:
“Some time ago I was experiencing horrible back pain. To put it simply, after my NET sessions the back pain never came back.” -Layla
Special Offer-Look, I know you’re smart. You want to get to the cause of your problem, and not just cover it up with drugs. So, when you call to schedule a new patient exam you’ll receive that entire exam for just $47. That’s a full history, an assessment of your current level of functioning, and the report of findings. Plus, it includes NETthe whole ball of wax. These two exams normally cost $274. But, please call right away because this offer expires at 6pm on March 28, 2012, and I wouldn’t want you to miss out.
My office is called Sterling Holistic Health and is in Sellwood, within Elixia Wellness Group, located at 8113 SE 13th Avenue (on the corner of Tacoma, diagonally across from Starbucks). My phone number is 503232-5653. Please call my wonderful assistants today, Cindy, Kim, or Tonia to reserve your spot.
-Serena Sterling, PsyD Holistic Health Practitioner NET Practitioner P.S. I know your time is valuable, which is why I have a no-wait policy. You’ll be seen within 10 minutes or less.
“Following a pretty serious breakup, I found myself gaining weight, avoiding friends, and developing a short fuse. All that turned around after my sessions with Serena Sterling, PsyD. I was able to move on with my life in a much happier manner.” -Stephanie Willamette Week MARCH 14, 2012 wweek.com
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Willamette Week MARCH 14, 2012 wweek.com
MUSIC ALBUM REVIEWS
TOPE UNTIL THE NEXT TIME WE MEET (AMIGO/AMIGA) [PO -HOP] When I first heard Portland rapper Tope five years ago as a member of Living Proof, I immediately fell in love with, above all else, how fun the music sounded. In an era when many Portland MCs were trying too hard to fit the mold of the “conscious” rapper—every song seemed like a lecture on society’s woes backed by the same old, dry boom-bap loop—Tope and his partner, Prem, chose to invoke the playfulness of late’90s California hip-hop, a genre devoted to the simple pleasures in life: ladies, booze and a good pair of headphones. That was ages ago, though. With multiple projects under his belt—from his instrumental tapes, to Living Proof’s sophomore project, to his impressive work with TxE—Tope, now in his late 20s, is no longer a newcomer to the game. On his new album, Until the Next Time We Meet, his first for local pop-centric label Amigo/Amiga—he adds some depth to the lightheartedness. Songs like “Life of the Party” and “Leave You,” which serve as Champagne-drenched odes to good times, are followed by more revealing tracks like “Headed for Heartbreak,” a bitter elegy to his last relationship, and “Come True,” an introspective look at where life has taken him. It’s unfair to say Tope has never made reflective tracks like this before, but here he’s doing it more frequently and, as a sign of maturity, with more ease. Technically, Tope is as sound an MC as ever. He uses his voice, still airy and unassuming, to spit rhyme schemes that incorporate the complex arrangements of a battle-rap MC and the simple wordplay of a “swag” rapper. Although he still sometimes falls behind the rhythm, Tope has grown on the mic with each release. The beats on the album are based on the electro-tinged, samplebased bangers that local beatmakers G_Force and Trox have perfected in the past couple of years and are some of the best Tope has ever rhymed over. It’s more reason to call this album one of his most well-rounded projects yet. REED JACKSON.
WIZARD RIFLE SPEAK LOUD SAY NOTHING (SEVENTH RULE RECORDS) [SCRAP METAL] Sam Ford and Max Dameron, better known to Northwest metalheads as Wizard Rifle, create more noise than two human beings have any conceivable right to make. Composed of merely guitar, drums and shared vocals, Wizard Rifle valiantly overcompensates for its spare membership by mainlining pure, uncut enthusiasm. News of a Wizard Rifle full-length is surprising, in part because it means the two sat in one place long enough to actually make a record. Speak Loud Say Nothing, the duo’s debut album, handily crystallizes Wizard Rifle’s abilities to shred with the best of them and blindly follow the dictates of its own sonic fetishes. There’s a heavy debt to Converge in Wizard Rifle’s scrappy micro-epics (as well as some love given to downtempo demigods such as Danava), but Wizard Rifle shines brightest when managing to plainly out-crazy its contemporaries. Of Speak Loud Say Nothing’s five tracks, three blow past the seven-minute mark without even noticing. While there are atonal breakdowns aplenty, it’s when “Frazetta” breaks into an acid freak-out reminiscent of Yes, or when “Megatherium” trips into a zombie-fied shuffle, that you to scratch your head wondering what went into Ford and Dameron’s melting pot. “Leathery Gentleman,” the album’s expansive closing track, manages to maintain Wizard Rifle’s derailed pacing over the course of 10 minutes, a feat of athleticism if nothing else. What’s more, the duo sounds like its having fun for the entirety of the album this time. Wizard Rifle knows that metal bands are supposed to be dolorous and self-serious; its novelty is that it just doesn’t care. SHANE DANAHER. SEE IT: Tope plays Backspace, 115 NW 5th Ave., on Friday, March 16, with TxE, Living Proof, BeatsGalore, Verbz and the Angry Orts. 9 pm. $5, $10 with CD. All ages. Wizard Rifle plays Backspace on Saturday, March 17, with Jonny X and the Groadies, Sons of Huns and Youthbitch. 9 pm. $6. All ages. Willamette Week MARCH 14, 2012 wweek.com
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Since 1974
Never a cover!
Thursday, Mar 15th
TECHIGNITE! v 2 Friday, Mar 16th
THE BYLINES
Buffalo gap Wednesday, March 14th • 9pm
local artist Showcase Thursday, March 15th • 9pm
Bankrupt on Selling (indie rock)
CD RELEASE
Saturday, Mar 17th
LIVE WIRE 100 th LIVE SHOW!!
WITH SUSAN ORLEAN, THOMAS LAUDERDALE + KATHLEEN SAADAT Sunday, March 18th
GREY FOR DAYS•JANA LOSEY•FAST FOX•HIERO•DOWN IS UP UP IS DOWN •FAIR STAND THE FIELDS OF FRANCE•STARK HEROES•FATE RISING Thursday, March 22nd
GIRLYMAN
friday, March 16th • 9pm
The Sale (folk soul)
Saturday, March 17th • 9pm
St paddy’s Day party w/ THE SINDICaTE & THE HooKY’S (reggae pop rock)
Tuesday, March 20th • 9pm
open Mic Night WIN $50!!!
Hosted By: Scott gallegos 6835 SW Macadam Ave | John’s Landing
www.underdogportland.com (503) 282-1155
Friday, March 23rd
TRACY GRAMMER
JIMMY MAK’S
LITTLE BLUE EGG
“One of the world’s top 100 places to hear jazz” - Downbeat Magazine
CD RELEASE
Saturday, Mar 24th
DARRELL SCOTT
ASHLEIGH FLYNN & CHRIS FUNK + GARY OGAN Sunday, Mar 25th
SAT., MARCH 17
Soul Vaccination
DAN BERN
AUSTRALIAN HALL OF FAME ROCKER
SAT., MARCH 24
The KINK Indie Music Showcase Sponsored by BridgePort Brewing Octopus Entertainment presents: Eric John Kaiser, CD release event
PAUL KELLYWITH
THE DUNWALLS Sunday, April 1st
TELL MAMA: A TRIBUTE TO
ETTA JAMES
& BENEFIT FOR CANDYE KANE Alberta Rose Theatre (503) 764-4131 3000 NE Alberta AlbertaRoseTheatre.com
Willamette Week MARCH 14, 2012 wweek.com
King Louis & Sweet Baby James
FRI., MARCH23
Tuesday, Mar 27th
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FRI., MARCH 16
The Bobby Torres Ensemble National Artists Coming to Jimmy Mak’s!
4/7, Jeff Lorber, with Jimmy Haslip, Patrick Lamb, Reinhardt Melz 4/10, Benny Golson with The Mel Brown Septet 4/13 & 14, Curtis Salgado CD release 4/30, Tierney Sutton 5/1 & 2, The Cedar Walton Trio Mon-Sat. evenings: Dinner from 5 pm, Music from 8 pm 221 NW 10th • 503-295-6542 • jimmymaks.com
MUSIC CALENDAR = WW Pick. Highly recommended. Editor: Jonathan Frochtzwajg. TO HAVE YOUR EVENT LISTED, send show information at least two weeks in advance on the web at wweek.com/submitevents or (if you book a specific venue) enter your events at dbmonkey.com/wweek. Press kits, CDs and especially vinyl can be sent to Music Desk, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Please include show or release date information with all physical mailings. Email: music@wweek.com. For more listings, check out wweek.com.
Latee Da, Noah Peterson, Migi Artugue
Tony Starlight’s
3728 NE Sandy Blvd. Mel Kubik
Trail’s End Saloon
1320 Main St., Oregon City Danny O’ Brien & Ken Brewer
White Eagle Saloon 836 N Russell St. World’s Finest
Wilfs Restaurant & Bar 800 NW 6th Ave. Ron Steen, Karla HarrisFarwell
THUR. MARCH 15 Al’s Den at the Crystal Hotel 303 SW 12th Ave. Asher Fulero
Aladdin Theater
3017 SE Milwaukie Ave. Hapa
Alberta Street Public House
1036 NE Alberta St. Laurel Braun (Irish drinking song sing-along)
Alberta Street Public House
1036 NE Alberta St. The Glyptons, Pedal Home (9:30 pm); Mikey’s Irish Jam (6:30 pm)
Andina
1314 NW Glisan St. 3 Leg Torso
Andrea’s Cha Cha Club
832 SE Grand Ave. Pilon D’Azucar Salsa Band
Ash Street Saloon
225 SW Ash St. Mike and Moos, Adam Brock and the Magic Beets, The Goddamn Band
Backspace
115 NW 5th Ave. Dead Remedy, Metatheric, Bubble Cats
Biddy McGraw’s
6000 NE Glisan St. Open Bluegrass Jam
Buffalo Gap Saloon
6835 SW Macadam Ave. Matthew Lindley Commission, Jason Henderson, North Head
Camellia Lounge
MAGICAL MYSTERY MOTHERSHIP: George Clinton and Parliament Funkadelic play the Crystal Ballroom on Friday.
WED. MARCH 14 Al’s Den at the Crystal Hotel
303 SW 12th Ave. Asher Fulero, Nathan Day
Alberta Street Public House 1036 NE Alberta St. Open Mic
Andina
1314 NW Glisan St. Danny Romero
Release the Sunbird, Hosannas
Renee Muzquiz (7 pm); Merrell Brothers (5:30 pm)
Ataxia Cab (9 pm); Mr. Hoo (12 pm)
Camellia Lounge
Jimmy Mak’s
Mississippi Studios
510 NW 11th Ave. Jazz Jam with Errick Lewis & The Regiment House Band
Crystal Ballroom
1332 W Burnside St. Keegan Smith & the Fam, Acoustic Minds, Ken Hanson Band, Max Ribner Band, The Druthers
221 NW 10th Ave. The Mel Brown Quartet
Kells
112 SW 2nd Ave. Dave Ross
Ladd’s Inn
1204 SE Clay St. Lynn Conover
Landmark Saloon
4847 SE Division St. Jake Ray and the Cowdogs
3939 N Mississippi Ave. The Lower 48, John Heart Jackie, Alina Hardin
Muddy Rudder Public House 8105 SE 7th Ave. Stumbleweed
Palace of Industry
5426 N Gay Ave. Flat Rock String Band
510 NW 11th Ave. Fresh Track, The Wishermen
Chapel Pub
Doug Fir Lounge
830 E Burnside St. Mosley Wotta, Worth, Jarrod Lawson
Duff’s Garage
1635 SE 7th Ave. Con Brio (9 pm); Tough Lovepyle (6 pm)
East India Co.
2958 NE Glisan St. Kory Quinn, Bitterroot (9 pm); Bingo Band (6 pm)
Quimby’s At 19th
1502 NW 19th Ave. Bridge City Prophets
203 SE Grand Ave. Gaytheist, Honduran, DJ Party Dogg, DJ Booze Crooze
Ella Street Social Club
Lents Commons
Roseland Theater
Ella Street Social Club
Goodfoot Lounge
McMenamins Edgefield Winery
225 SW Ash St. The Minute Hand Ballet, Cadence, Left & 3/4
821 SW 11th Ave. Josh Feinberg
Beaterville Cafe
714 SW 20th Place Focus Motel, Solar Shade, The Weak Knees
2201 N Killingsworth St. Russell Thomas & Dany Oakes
Biddy McGraw’s
6000 NE Glisan St. Half-Step Shy
Blitz Twentyone 305 NW 21st Ave. Thom Lyons
Bunk Bar
1028 SE Water Ave.
2845 SE Stark St. Daryl Hance, Simon Tucker Group
Ivories Jazz Lounge and Restaurant 1435 NW Flanders St. Gaea Schell Quartet
Jade Lounge
2346 SE Ankeny St.
LaurelThirst
9201 SE Foster Road Open Mic
2126 SW Halsey St., Troutdale Matt Brown
McMenamins Rock Creek Tavern
10000 Old Cornelius Pass Road, Hillsboro Billy D
Mississippi Pizza
3552 N Mississippi Ave.
2621 SE Clinton St. Swing Papillon
8 NW 6th Ave. Balkan Beat Box, Palenke Soultribe, The Krebsic Orkestar
Rotture
East End
714 SW 20th Place Race of Strangers, Mangled Bohemians, Anhedonia, Dead Ship Sailing
315 SE 3rd Ave. Ed Schrader’s Music Beat, The Woolen Men
Ford Food and Drink
Someday Lounge
Goodfoot Lounge
125 NW 5th Ave. Tribe of the Outcast
Sundown Pub
5903 N Lombard St.
The Stolen Sweets, Seth & May
Slim’s Cocktail Bar 8635 N Lombard St. The Chancers
Spare Room
2346 SE Ankeny St. Colin Fisher Ascoustic Oceans
4830 NE 42nd Ave. Sam Densmore, Colin Fisher, Shawn Scott, Celia Reef, Gabe Auen, Michael Manning, Jim Cramer, Morgan Smith, Karyn Patridge, Sam Wegman, Doug Loghry, Vanessa Rogers, Miguel Artugue, John Densmore, Curtis Irie
Kelly’s Olympian
Ted’s (at Berbati’s)
Ivories Jazz Lounge and Restaurant
1435 NW Flanders St. Sean and Fred Show (8:30 pm); Laura Cunard (5:30 pm)
Jade Lounge
426 SW Washington St. Charts, Sioux Falls
Kennedy School
5736 NE 33rd Ave. Polecat
The Know
LaurelThirst
2958 NE Glisan St. Bingo, Jimmy Boyer & Dave Reisch (9:30 pm); Lewi Longmire Band (6 pm)
McMenamins Edgefield Winery 2126 SW Halsey St., Troutdale Brian Copeland
2026 NE Alberta St. Bison Bison, American Friction, Jr. Worship
Thirsty Lion
71 SW 2nd Ave. Eric John Kaiser
Tiger Bar
317 NW Broadway Karaoke from Hell
Tonic Lounge
McMenamins Rock Creek Tavern
10000 Old Cornelius Pass Road, Hillsboro Tim Acott
Mississippi Pizza
3552 N Mississippi Ave. Seth Faergolzia, John Ludington, Shenyah Webb Klaras (late show); Belinda Underwood (6 pm)
Mississippi Studios
3939 N Mississippi Ave. Brainstorm, Sun Angle, Adventures! with Might
Mock Crest Tavern 3435 N Lombard St. David Brothers
Mount Tabor Theater
4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Basin and Range
Palace of Industry 5426 N Gay Ave. The Ghost Ease
3100 NE Sandy Blvd. The Martyrs, Smiley Get Dressed
Torta Landia
4144 SE 60th Ave. Acoustic Open Mic
2530 NE 82nd Ave. Absent Minds 315 SE 3rd Ave. Eventuals, Tansey and Tarweed, Face the Box
3000 NE Alberta St. The Bylines
Andina
1314 NW Glisan St. Pete Krebs Trio
Ash Street Saloon
225 SW Ash St. Fred & Toody Cole (of Pierced Arrows), The Pynnacles, Last Watch, Jenny & Kelly
Backspace
115 NW 5th Ave. Tope, TxE, Living Proof, Liv Warfield, The Angry Orts, BeatsGalore, Verbz
Beaterville Cafe
2201 N Killingsworth St. No Tomorrow
Biddy McGraw’s
6000 NE Glisan St. Counterfeit Cash (9:30 pm); Lynn Conover & Jimmy Boyer (6 pm)
Branx
320 SE 2nd Ave. As They Sleep, It Lies Within, Nightshade, Regiment 26, When They Invade, Skies Above Reason
Vie de Boheme
Buffalo Gap Saloon
Vino Vixens Wine Shop & Bar
Camellia Lounge
White Eagle Saloon
Carvlin Hall
1530 SE 7th Ave. David Valdez, Weber Iago
2929 SE Powell Blvd. AngelRhodes
626 SW Park Ave. Tablao
6835 SW Macadam Ave. The Sale 510 NW 11th Ave. SuperJazzers, The Four Bags
836 N Russell St. Sold Only As Curio, Strangled Darlings, Ornry Axes (8:30 pm); Will West & Tanner Cundy (5:30 pm)
1636 SE Hickory St. Steve Gillette & Cindy Mangsen, Don Lange
Wilfs Restaurant & Bar
Crystal Ballroom
Al’s Den at the Crystal Hotel
Secret Society Lounge
Alberta Rose Theatre
Brasserie Montmartre
1420 SE Powell Blvd. DaBerryBrothers
FRI. MARCH 16
Rotture
3017 SE Milwaukie Ave. Kevin Burke & Cal Scott, Tim O’Brien, Tom Creegan, The Irish Session Suite Players
Twilight Café and Bar
800 NW 6th Ave. Greg Goebel Trio
Red Room
116 NE Russell St.
231 SW Ankeny St. C-Money & The Players, Positive Rising, Inhale, Sindicate
Aladdin Theater
303 SW 12th Ave. Asher Fulero, Al Toribio, Paul Lesinski
Clyde’s Prime Rib
5474 NE Sandy Blvd. Ocean 503 1332 W Burnside St. George Clinton and Parliament Funkadelic
Dante’s
350 W Burnside St. Jerry Joseph & The Jackmormons
Doug Fir Lounge 830 E Burnside St.
CONT. on page 38
1332 W Burnside St. Needtobreathe, Ben Rector
Ash Street Saloon
1635 SE 7th Ave. Suburban Slim’s Blues Jam
3862 SE Hawthorne Blvd. DJ and Christian, Blue Ember, Dylan Jakobsen, 7 Minutes in Heaven, KINGFriday
Crystal Ballroom
Duff’s Garage
1037 SW Broadway Puscifer, Carina Round
Hawthorne Theatre
430 N Killingsworth St. Chris Phillips
Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall
Press Club
[MARCH 14 - 20]
presented by
2505 SE 11th Ave. The Low Bones
2845 SE Stark St. Lincoln Crockett & Enemies, Will West and the Friendly Strangers
RED BULL MUSIC ACADEMY
NYC – 2012 Application must be complete & postmarked before April 2, 2012
@RBMA @redbullPDX for more info:
Willamette Week MARCH 14, 2012 wweek.com
37
MUSIC
CALENDAR
BAR SPOTLIGHT
Thirsty Lion
N ATA L I E B E H R I N G . C O M
71 SW 2nd Ave. Reverend Hammer
Tiger Bar
350 W Burnside St. Zepparella (all-female Led Zeppelin tribute)
Tonic Lounge
830 E Burnside St. Amadan, Coming Up Threes
317 NW Broadway Stolen Rose, Kaleido Skull, Ergot
Duff’s Garage
1635 SE 7th Ave. Lloyd Jones (9 pm); Honey and the Hamdogs (6 pm)
East Burn
1800 E Burnside St. Left Coast Country
Ella Street Social Club 714 SW 20th Place Krebsic Orkestar, Opa Groupa
Foggy Notion
3416 N Lombard St. Coronation, RLLRBLL, Futility
Original Halibut’s II
Korkage Wine Bar & Shop
Papa G’s Vegan Organic Deli
6351 SW Capitol Highway Tim Roth
LaurelThirst
2958 NE Glisan St. Ducky Pig (9:30 pm); Sassparilla (6 pm)
Lents Commons
9201 SE Foster Road The Wrong Omar
Lewis & Clark College: Agnes Flanagan Chapel
2505 SE 11th Ave. Drew DeMan (8 pm); Kory Quinn (5 pm)
0615 SW Palatine Hill Road Lynx, Tender Forever, Glitterfruit
Hawthorne Theatre Lounge
McMenamins Edgefield Winery
Ford Food and Drink
1503 SE Cesar E. Chavez Ave. Ron Rogers
Hawthorne Theatre 3862 SE Hawthorne Blvd. The Pretty Reckless, The Parlor Mob, Hollywood Kills
Ivories Jazz Lounge and Restaurant
2126 SW Halsey St., Troutdale The Strange Tones, Johnny B. Connolly, River City Pipe Band, Whitethorn, Cul An Ti
McMenamins Rock Creek Tavern
10000 Old Cornelius Pass Road, Hillsboro Sonny Hess
1435 NW Flanders St. Steve Hall Quintet (8:30 pm); Jim Templeton (5:30 pm)
Mississippi Pizza
Jade Lounge
Mississippi Studios
2346 SE Ankeny St. Krystyn Pixton (8 pm); Helen Chaya, Lara Avery (6 pm)
Jimmy Mak’s
221 NW 10th Ave. King Louis and Baby James
Katie O’Briens
2809 NE Sandy Blvd. Primitive Idols, Hairspray Blues, Avi Dei, Miss Meghan and The Crusher
Kelly’s Olympian
426 SW Washington St. Hopeless Jack & The Handsome Devil, The Lordy Lords, The Notches, Thorntown Tallboys
38
3552 N Mississippi Ave. Melao d’Cuba (9 pm); The McG’s (6 pm) 3939 N Mississippi Ave. William Fitzsimmons, Denison Witmer
Mock Crest Tavern 3435 N Lombard St. Sneakin Out
Mount Tabor Theater
4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Staxx Brothers, Pocket, Medium Troy
Muddy Rudder Public House 8105 SE 7th Ave. Mike Brosnan
Music Millennium
3158 E Burnside St. 7Horse
Nel Centro
1408 SW 6th Ave.
Willamette Week MARCH 14, 2012 wweek.com
2527 NE Alberta St. Vyasa Dodson Band
2314 SE Division St. Forest Bloodgood
Plan B
1305 SE 8th Ave. Benson Jones, Kill the Kids, End Notes
Plew’s Brews
8409 N Lombard St. Hi-Fi Mojo
Press Club
2621 SE Clinton St. Blind Bartimaeus, Brad Parsons
Red Room
2530 NE 82nd Ave. Psychosynapsis, Aethyrium, Battle Axe Massacre, Dethroner
Rotture
315 SE 3rd Ave. Vice Device, Deathday, ASSS, Sick Jaggers DJs
Secret Society Lounge
116 NE Russell St. Riviera, Pilar French Intention, Nicole Campbell (9 pm); Lincoln’s Beard (6 pm)
Slabtown
1033 NW 16th Ave. No Tomorrow Boys, Suicide Notes, Polaroids
Slim’s Cocktail Bar
8635 N Lombard St. Silent Numbers, The We Shared Milk, Swamp Buck, Appendixes
Spare Room
4830 NE 42nd Ave. DC Malone and The Jones
The Blue Diamond
2016 NE Sandy Blvd. Norman Sylvester
The Know
2026 NE Alberta St. Pinehurst Kids, Wolfman Fairies, Modern Lives
The Lovecraft
421 SE Grand Ave. Power Circus, The Dolomites
White Eagle Saloon
Vino Vixens Wine Shop & Bar
2929 SE Powell Blvd. Jason Esler
836 N Russell St. Pheasant (9:30 pm); The Student Loan (4:30 pm)
Tony Starlight’s
East Burn
Peter’s Room
Wonder Ballroom
1420 SE Powell Blvd. Town and the Writ, Equal of Kings
Dave Captein
1408 SW 6th Ave. Dave Captein & Todd Strait
Valentine’s
Wilfs Restaurant & Bar
Twilight Café and Bar
2025 N Kilpatrick St. Lord Master, LSD&D, DJ Hwy 7
Nel Centro
Vino Vixens Wine Shop & Bar
Original Halibut’s II
1320 Main St., Oregon City Kevin Selfe & the Tornadoes
Kenton Club
4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Seun Kuti & Egypt 80, Afromassive
Duff’s Garage
Trail’s End Saloon
Scott Pemberton, The Acorn Project
Doug Fir Lounge
Mount Tabor Theater
3100 NE Sandy Blvd. Acrid Intent, Vice Riot, Gear Drivven 3728 NE Sandy Blvd. Billy & the Rockets
TOMFOOLERY AWAITS: A room full of clown paintings— from thoughtful oils to black velvets and a Christ-like Ronald McDonald—would be enough to give anyone nightmares. But the “clown room” at Funhouse Lounge (2432 SE 11th Ave., 841-6734, funhouselounge.com) serves as part of the entertainment, alongside a stack of board games and a Wii. The new bar/performance space serves as home to Portland improv troupe the Unscriptables, with most Saturdays offering one or two live shows like their current production Avenue PDX, a spoof on the puppet musical Avenue Q. The menu features mostly hot sandwiches and appetizers, and the bar has a concession-stand feel with no draft beers or mixed drinks—just cheap shots, bottles, wine and soda. It’s probably best to go on the night of a performance or event, such as the Sunday Funhouse game show. You wouldn’t want it to just be you and the clowns. PENELOPE BASS.
Dante’s
Vie de Boheme
1530 SE 7th Ave. Everything’s Jake
Vino Vixens Wine Shop & Bar 2929 SE Powell Blvd. Jim Mesi
White Eagle Saloon
836 N Russell St. Lucy Wainwright-Roche, Sea of Existence (8:30 pm); Reverb Brothers (5:30 pm)
Wilfs Restaurant & Bar 800 NW 6th Ave. Barbara Lusch Trio
SAT. MARCH 17 Al’s Den at the Crystal Hotel 303 SW 12th Ave. Asher Fulero
Alberta Rose Theatre
3000 NE Alberta St. Live Wire!: Thomas Lauderdale and Kathleen Saadat, John Roderick
Alberta Street Public House 1036 NE Alberta St. Chervona
Andina
1314 NW Glisan St. Toshi Onizuka Trio
Ash Street Saloon
225 SW Ash St. Rum Rebellion, Dreadful Children, The Notches, Whiskeytooth
Backspace
115 NW 5th Ave. Wizard Rifle, JonnyX and the Groadies, Sons of Huns, Youthbitch
Biddy McGraw’s
6000 NE Glisan St. The Chancers; Bob Soper Trio; The Old Yellers; Nancy Conescu & Geraldine Murray; Pat Buckley; The Angry Monk; Matthew Hayward MacDonald; Cary Novotny, Johnny Connolly, Danny O’Hanlon; St. James Gate
Branx
320 SE 2nd Ave. Sandpeople, Uno Lavoz, Calvin Valentine, TxE, Quiz, V. Dewayne (hosted by Andy Milonakis)
Brasserie Montmartre 626 SW Park Ave. Pete Krebs Trio (9 pm); Tablao (5:30 pm)
Buffalo Gap Saloon
6835 SW Macadam Ave. The Sindicate, The Hooky’s
Camellia Lounge
510 NW 11th Ave. The Galen Fous Trio
Clyde’s Prime Rib
5474 NE Sandy Blvd. Elite
Crystal Ballroom
1332 W Burnside St. Under a Blood Red Sky (The U2 Tribute), Ashleigh Flynn, River City Pipe Band, Leprechauns!
1635 SE 7th Ave. DK Stewart Quartet 1800 E Burnside St. Motherbunch (10 pm); Healy & Haggerty Irish Jam (3 pm)
Ella Street Social Club 714 SW 20th Place Lubec, Vir, Learning Team, Sundaze
Fifteenth Avenue Hophouse
1517 NE Brazee St. Stone Crowe, Sporting Paddy
Foggy Notion
2527 NE Alberta St. Robbie Laws
8 NW 6th Ave. McFadden Project, The Hudson Rocket Band 1305 SE 8th Ave. Mugspoon, Darcy Pudding, White Chocolate and the Cigarettes
Press Club
2621 SE Clinton St. Afterlife Revival, Scott Weddle, Sarah Gwen
Red Room
2530 NE 82nd Ave. Mohawk Yard, Tribe of the Outcast, Synesthesia, She Preaches Mayhem, Random Axe
Gemini Lounge
Secret Society Lounge
Goodfoot Lounge
2845 SE Stark St. The Quick & Easy Boys, Otis Heat
Hawthorne Hophouse
4111 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Robert Richter Duo, Dan MacDonald, Julie McCarl
Ivories Jazz Lounge and Restaurant
1435 NW Flanders St. Ezra Weiss Sextet (8:30 pm); Gordy Michael (5:30 pm)
Jade Lounge
2346 SE Ankeny St. Anna and The Underbelly & Margaret Wehr (8 pm); Treacle Footstomp (6 pm)
Jimmy Mak’s
221 NW 10th Ave. Soul Vaccination
Katie O’Briens
2809 NE Sandy Blvd. Last Regiment of Syncopated Drummers
Kelly’s Olympian
426 SW Washington St. Grandparents, The We Shared Milk, Talkative
Kennedy School
5736 NE 33rd Ave. Freak Mountain Ramblers, Casey Neill Band, Hanz Araki & Kathryn Claire, Jig Jam Irish Family Hooley
Kenton Club
2025 N Kilpatrick St. Serial Hawk, Towers, Foal, X’s For I’s
LaurelThirst
2958 NE Glisan St. Crow Quill Night Owls, Baby Gramps (9:30 pm); Some Frogs (6 pm)
McMenamins Edgefield Winery 2126 SW Halsey St., Troutdale State & Standard, The Mad Maggies, Brongaene Griffin, Hanz Araki & Kathryn Claire Seth & May, River City Pipe Band, Bob Soper Duo
McMenamins Rock Creek Tavern
10000 Old Cornelius Pass Road, Hillsboro Garcia Birthday Band
Mississippi Pizza
3552 N Mississippi Ave. Don & the Quixotes, Geof Mosier (9 pm); Brad Creel & the Reel Deel (6:30 pm, family show); Mr. Ben (4 pm)
Mock Crest Tavern
3435 N Lombard St. Suburban Slim & the Leprechauns
Montavilla Station 417 SE 80th Ave. Pseudophiles
128 NE Russell St. KMRIA (Pogues tribute), Sassparilla
Plan B
3416 N Lombard St. Sarah Moon & The Night Sky, The Bottleneck Blues Band 6526 SE Foster Road Crow v. Squirrel
800 NW 6th Ave. Mia Nicholson Trio
116 NE Russell St. Bradley Wik and the Charlatans (9 pm); Dominic Castillo (6 pm)
Slabtown
1033 NW 16th Ave. Confessions, Flight 19, Pale Horse, Wormbag
Slim’s Cocktail Bar
8635 N Lombard St. Stumblebum, Streakin’ Healys, Owen and His Checkered Past
Someday Lounge 125 NW 5th Ave. The Knux
Spare Room
4830 NE 42nd Ave. Sonny Hess Band
Star Theater
13 NW 6th Ave. The Raincoats, Grass Widow, Tombstalker, Stay Calm
Sundown Pub
5903 N Lombard St. Dismal Niche
Ted’s (at Berbati’s)
231 SW Ankeny St. President Brown, River Jordan, Xact Change HiFi
The Blue Diamond
2016 NE Sandy Blvd. The Shoehorn Hat Trio
The Blue Monk
3341 SE Belmont St. The Waydowns
SUN. MARCH 18 Al’s Den at the Crystal Hotel 303 SW 12th Ave. Frank Fairfield
Alberta Rose Theatre
3000 NE Alberta St. Grey for Days, Jana Losey, Fast Fox, Hiero, Down Is Up Up Is Down, Fair Stand The Fields Of France, Stark Heroes, Fate Rising
Andina
1314 NW Glisan St. Danny Romero
Ash Street Saloon
225 SW Ash St. The Healthy Dose, Will Kinky
Blitz Twentyone 305 NW 21st Ave. Shelley Rudolph
Dante’s
350 W Burnside St. Sinferno Cabaret, Stumblebum Brass Band, Goat Rodeo
Doug Fir Lounge
830 E Burnside St. Vetiver, Gold Leaves
Ella Street Social Club 714 SW 20th Place Brave Julius, Steve Pulvers, Daryl Shawn
Hawthorne Theatre
3862 SE Hawthorne Blvd. The Diggers, From the Eyes of Cain, Sisyphean Conscience, How the West Was Won, For Those Alive
Jade Lounge
2346 SE Ankeny St. Alexa Wiley (7 pm); Habiba (4:30 pm)
Mississippi Pizza
3552 N Mississippi Ave. Jenny Finn Orchestra (9 pm); Musekiwa Chingodza (6:30 pm)
Tiga
1465 NE Prescott St. Hostile Tapeover
Tiger Bar
317 NW Broadway Slow Children, ZenThesis
Tonic Lounge
3100 NE Sandy Blvd. Evv’n’flo, The Greencarts, Funktastik
Tony Starlight’s
3728 NE Sandy Blvd. Tony’s AM Gold Show
Trail’s End Saloon
1320 Main St., Oregon City Francine West & the High Speed Wobblers
Trinity Episcopal Cathedral
147 NW 19th Ave. Give Up the Ghost: A Radiohead Lenten Liturgy
Twilight Café and Bar 1420 SE Powell Blvd. Sexxon Valdez, Smiley Get Dressed
Alberta Street Public House
1036 NE Alberta St. Anna Spackman, Autumn Sky, Adrian Bourgeois
Andina
1314 NW Glisan St. Pete Krebs
Blitz Twentyone 305 NW 21st Ave. Amy Bleu
Dante’s
350 W Burnside St. Karaoke from Hell
Duff’s Garage
1635 SE 7th Ave. Freewill
East End
203 SE Grand Ave. Towers vs. Antikythera (Portland Metal Winter Olympics semifinals)
Ella Street Social Club 714 SW 20th Place Jesse Carsten Band, Tom Blood and Jordan Dykstra
Hawthorne Theatre
3862 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Deicide, Jungle Rot, Abigail Williams, Lecherous Nocturne, Only Zuul
Jade Lounge
2346 SE Ankeny St. Mikah Sykes Nettels
Jimmy Mak’s
221 NW 10th Ave. The Dan Balmer Band
McMenamins Edgefield Winery 2126 SW Halsey St., Troutdale Skip vonKuske with Seth & May
Mississippi Pizza
3552 N Mississippi Ave. Sky Is Burning, Kate Duckquak (9 pm); Will Coca Trio (6:30 pm); Mr. Ben (5 pm)
Music Millennium
1408 SW 6th Ave. Dan Balmer, John Stowell, Mike Pardew, Dave Captein (Portland Guitar Summit and Les Paul tribute)
421 SE Grand Ave. Myrrh Larsen
303 SW 12th Ave. Frank Fairfield
Nel Centro
The Know
The Lovecraft
MON. MARCH 19 Al’s Den at the Crystal Hotel
Mount Tabor Theater
3939 N Mississippi Ave. Animal Eyes, Fanno Creek
2026 NE Alberta St. The Flip-Tops, Watch It Sparkle, Hoops
2929 SE Powell Blvd. Teri Untalan (6 pm), Carole MacDonald memorial (2 pm)
Mississippi Studios
The Guild Public House 1101 E Burnside St. Lip Service, Akkadia
232 SW Ankeny St. Paper Brain, Pheasant, Youth
Record Room
8 NE Killingsworth St. Protect Me, Virgin Blood, Moon Mirror
Rontoms
600 E Burnside St. Onuinu, Artifice
Star Theater
13 NW 6th Ave. Tony Smiley, Laura Ivancie, Redwood Son
T-A Event Center
300 NE Multnomah St. J Boog & Tarrus Riley
The Blue Monk
3341 SE Belmont St. Portland Jazz Composers Octet Ensemble
The Old Church
1422 SW 11th Ave. Metropolitan Youth Symphony (jazz show)
4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Iconocaust 3158 E Burnside St. Alyssa Graham
Secret Society Lounge 116 NE Russell St. Carlton Jackson-Dave Mills Big Band
The Blue Monk
3341 SE Belmont St. Deep Cuts
The Know
2026 NE Alberta St. Forsorcerers, Agatha, Dog Jaw, Fucking Dyke Bitches
Tiger Bar
317 NW Broadway Eight53
Vie de Boheme
1530 SE 7th Ave. Max Ribner, The Druthers, Keegan Smith, Laura Ivancie, The Accoustic Minds
White Eagle Saloon
836 N Russell St. Shadows on Stars, SuckerForLights, Verso/ Recto
Tonic Lounge
3100 NE Sandy Blvd. Palo Verde, Lunar Grave
Trail’s End Saloon 1320 Main St., Oregon City Robbie Laws
TUES. MARCH 20 Al’s Den at the Crystal Hotel 303 SW 12th Ave. Frank Fairfield
CALENDAR Aladdin Theater
Duff’s Garage
The Mel Brown Septet (8 pm); The Milwaukie High School Jazz Band (6:30 pm)
Andina
Ella Street Social Club
Kells
3017 SE Milwaukie Ave. Little Feat, The Villains 1314 NW Glisan St. Neftali Rivera
Ash Street Saloon
1635 SE 7th Ave. Dover Weinberg Quartet 714 SW 20th Place Yeah Great Fine, Tartufi, Pluvial
112 SW 2nd Ave. Cronin Tierney
LaurelThirst
225 SW Ash St. Brothers, Bror; Town and the Writ; Unit Theory
Goodfoot Lounge
2958 NE Glisan St. Bingo (9 pm); Jackstraw (6 pm)
Backspace
Hawthorne Theatre Lounge
McMenamins Edgefield Winery
115 NW 5th Ave. Dreaming in Colors
Blitz Twentyone 305 NW 21st Ave. Cody Weathers
Bunk Bar
1028 SE Water Ave. Mission Spotlight, Luminous Things
Camellia Lounge
510 NW 11th Ave. Tom Wakeling/Steve Christofferson Quartet
2845 SE Stark St. Radula
1503 SE Cesar E. Chavez Ave. Joe Buck Yourself, The Hooten Hallers, Michael Dean Damron
Hawthorne Theatre
3862 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Onslaught, Mpire Of Evil, Evildead, Motorthrone
Jade Lounge
2346 SE Ankeny St. Margaret Wehr
Jimmy Mak’s
221 NW 10th Ave.
2126 SW Halsey St., Troutdale Caleb Klauder & Sammy Lind
Mississippi Pizza
3552 N Mississippi Ave. Supadupa Marimba Band
Mississippi Studios
3939 N Mississippi Ave. The Brothers of the Baladi, Terry Robb
Ground Kontrol
511 NW Couch St. TRONix with DJ 808
Matador
1967 W Burnside St. DJ Whisker Friction
Slim’s Cocktail Bar 8635 N Lombard St. DJ AM Gold
The Crown Room
205 NW 4th Ave. Conquering Lions and FFF, Shrubbery, Realiez, Ryan Organ
The Lovecraft
421 SE Grand Ave. Nothing Lasts Forever
The Whiskey Bar
31 NW 1st Ave. Whiskey Wednesdays: Myke Jones; Really? Seriously?; Unicorn Domination
Tiga
1465 NE Prescott St. DJs La’Monjello, Cuica
Tube
18 NW 3rd Ave. DJ Creepy Crawl
Yes and No
20 NW 3rd Ave. Death Club with DJ Entropy
THUR. MARCH 15 Fez Ballroom
316 SW 11th Ave. Shadowplay: DJs Ghoulunatic, Paradox, Horrid
Ground Kontrol
511 NW Couch St. DJ M_Ron
Holocene
1001 SE Morrison St. RAC Presents: Plastic Plates, Maxx Bass, American Girls
Roseland Theater
8 NW 6th Ave. Feed Me with Teeth, AC Slater, Sidestep
Someday Lounge
125 NW 5th Ave. Mixer: Selectress Instigatah, Michael Grimes, Josh Romo, Forest Avery, John Simmons (9 pm); Mr. Romo, Michael Grimes (3 pm)
Swift Lounge
1932 NE Broadway DJ D Poetica
The Lovecraft
Tube
18 NW 3rd Ave. Fast Weapons Night (10 pm); DJ Sethro Tull (7 pm)
Valentine’s
232 SW Ankeny St. DJ Zachariah DellortoBlackwell
Valentine’s
232 SW Ankeny St. Sex Life DJs
FRI. MARCH 16 Al’s Den at the Crystal Hotel 303 SW 12th Ave. DJ Homonym
Beauty Bar
111 SW Ash St. Jet Set: Tope, DJ 100 Proof, DJ Swervewon
The Whiskey Bar
31 NW 1st Ave. Fine Results: Gromki & MD, Heatesca, Sasha Coulter
Tiga
1465 NE Prescott St. DJ Dirty Hands
Tube
18 NW 3rd Ave. Townbombing with Doc Adam (10 pm); DJ Neil Blender (7 pm)
SAT. MARCH 17 Al’s Den at the Crystal Hotel 303 SW 12th Ave. DJ Stargazer
Ground Kontrol
1135 SW Morrison St. Chris Alice
Fez Ballroom
316 SW 11th Ave. Decadent ‘80s: DJ Non, Jason Wann; Rewind with Phonographix DJs
Goodfoot Lounge
2845 SE Stark St. Soul Stew with DJ Aquaman
Ground Kontrol
511 NW Couch St. DJs MT3, ROB
Holocene
1001 SE Morrison St. Rockbox: Matt Nelkin, DJ Kez, Dundiggy (9 pm); Aperitivo Happy Hour: DJs Liz B & Johan (5 pm)
Lola’s Room at the Crystal Ballroom 1332 W Burnside St. ‘80s Video Dance Attack
Mount Tabor Theater
4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Free Up Fridays: Soljah Sound, Small Axe Sound, XACT Change Hi-Fi, Jagga Culture
Palace of Industry 5426 N Gay Ave. DJ Holiday
Record Room
Tiga
Sassy’s
1203 NW Glisan St.
421 SE Grand Ave. DJs Jsin, Horrid
Element Restaurant & Lounge
421 SE Grand Ave. DJ MisPrid
Trader Vic’s
The Lovecraft
Fez Ballroom
8 NE Killingsworth St. DJs Lorax, Bob Ham, Ghost Animal
1465 NE Prescott St. Champagne Jam
205 NW 4th Ave. Blast: Bass Science, Subterrain, Exodub, Spekt1
Dig a Pony
736 SE Grand Ave. Dig It with DJ Nealie Neal
927 SE Morrison St. DJ HazMatt
Star Bar
639 SE Morrison St.
13 NW 6th Ave. Mudhoney, Feedtime
FRIDAY 3/23 @ 6PM
The Blue Monk
“Music for me is a language like no other; it is my channel of authenticity. I know I’d only be telling half the truth without it..�
3341 SE Belmont St. Darren Kleintet (8 pm); Pagan Jug Band (6:30 pm)
The Firkin Tavern 1937 SE 11th Ave. Ninja
316 SW 11th Ave. Popvideo with DJ Gigahurtz 511 NW Couch St. DJs I Heart U, Avery
Holocene
1001 SE Morrison St. Gaycation: DJ Snowtiger, Mr. Charming
Palace of Industry 5426 N Gay Ave. DJ Pippa Possible
Rotture
836 N Russell St. Brad Creel and the Reel Deel
Winningstad Theatre
1305 SE 8th Ave. Hive with DJ Owen
Rotture
Sassy’s
927 SE Morrison St. DJ HazMatt
Tube
18 NW 3rd Ave. Honky Tonk Happy Hour with Tennessee Tim
MON. MARCH 19 511 NW Couch St. Service Industrial Night with DJ Tibin
Star Bar
639 SE Morrison St. Metal Mondays with DJ Blackhawk
Tiga
Tube
18 NW 3rd Ave. DJ Toilet Love; DJ High Maintenance
Valentine’s
232 SW Ankeny St. DJ Sergeant Forkner
TUES. MARCH 20 East End
203 SE Grand Ave. DJ Melody Maker
The Crown Room
927 SE Morrison St. DJ HazMatt 1932 NE Broadway DJ Gwiski 205 NW 4th Ave. See You Next Tuesday: AKA, Keys vs. Matt Rock
31 NW 1st Ave. St. Patrick’s Night: Jamie Meushaw, Tyler Freakin’ Hart, Evan Alexander
The Lovecraft
Tube
1465 NE Prescott St. Cowboys from Sweden
232 SW Ankeny St. DJ Adambaz
SUN. MARCH 18 Clyde’s Prime Rib
5474 NE Sandy Blvd. Ron Steen Jazz Jam
Matador
1967 W Burnside St. Next Big Thing with Donny Don’t
NEED CASH FOR Y UR YO RB BILLS?
1465 NE Prescott St. DJ Old Frontier
The Lovecraft
Valentine’s
OFFER GOOD THRU: 3/27/12
Ground Kontrol
Swift Lounge
18 NW 3rd Ave. DJ Freaky Outty (10 pm); Saturdazed: DJs GH, Czief Xenith (7 pm)
LITTLE BLUE EGG
ON SALE $13.99 CD
421 SE Grand Ave. The Black Church
Swift Lounge
The Whiskey Bar
DAVE CARTER & TRACY GRAMMER
The Lovecraft
Sassy’s
421 SE Grand Ave. Cobra with DJ Stallone
ALSO
APPEARING 3/23 AT THE ALBERTA ROSE THEATRE @ 8PM
315 SE 3rd Ave. A-Sides, Calculon, MulchFactor
315 SE 3rd Ave. Tae’s Dance Party with DJ Leviathan 1932 NE Broadway DJ Skinny Mrcls
- Tracy Grammer
White Eagle Saloon
Plan B
The Crown Room
TRACY GRAMMER
Star Theater
Blank Fridays 1932 NE Broadway DJ Keys
DJ Drew Groove
1305 SE 8th Ave. Negative Zen, Pinkzilla, Battleaxe Massacre
Mock Crest Tavern
3435 N Lombard St. University of Portland Jazz Combo
SPECIAL IN-STORE PERFORMANCE!
Plan B
Portland Center for the Performing Arts, 1111 SW Broadway Gabe Bondoc
Swift Lounge
WED. MARCH 14
MUSIC
421 SE Grand Ave. Death Club with DJ Entropy
Tiga
Tonic Lounge
3100 NE Sandy Blvd. Eye Candy VJs
Tube
18 NW 3rd Ave. Tubesday
Wonder Ballroom 128 NE Russell St. Skream, Benga
Yes and No
20 NW 3rd Ave. Idiot Tuesdays with DJ Black Dog
$ $ FOR ANY & ALL USED CDs, DVDs & VINYL Sell your old music & movies & try something new. W have more than 100,000 We new & used cds, dvds & vinyl in stock!
USED NEW &s & VINYL VD CDs, D DOWNTOWN s 7 7 "URNSIDE s EASTSIDE s .% 3ANDY "LVD s BEAV A ERTON s 37 #EDAR (ILLS "LVD s AV OPEN EVERYDAY AT 9 A.M. | WWW.EVERYDAYMUSIC.COM Willamette Week MARCH 14, 2012 wweek.com
39
4S WWeek BW Ad: Spec 16 / Zak Hussain Runs: 3/7, 3/14, 3/21, 3/28
ONE NIGHT ONLY!
Zakir Hussain
and The Masters of Percussion Fri Mar 30, 2012 | 7:30 pm One of the foremost percussionists in the world today, Zakir Hussain takes the Indian tabla to an extraordinary level. A classical tabla virtuoso of the highest order, his consistently brilliant and exciting performances have gained him worldwide fame. Zakir astonished audiences here in 2009 and comes back by popular demand!
Tickets start at $25 Please note: the Oregon Symphony does not perform.
Groups of 10 or more save: 503-416-6380
Call: 503-228-1353 Click: OrSymphony.org Come in: 923 SW Washington | 10 am – 6 pm Mon – Fri
ARLENE
SCHNITZER
CONCERT
HALL
ON SALE – DECCA’S NEW OPERA SERIES! PucciniLa Boheme
BergWozzeck
MussorgskyBoris Godunov
VerdiIl Trovatore
Gheorghiu, Alagna, Keenlyside Sale $16.99 2 CD set
Silya, Waechter, Dohnanyi Sale $16.99 2 CD set
Vaneev, Galusin, Gergiev Sale $19.99 3 CD set
Pavarotti, Verrett, Mehta Sale $16.99 2 CD set
March offers more quality recordings from Decca's new OPERA series. Several titles in the series are reissued at mid-price for the first time, whilst others have been unavailable for many years. Perfect for those new to opera as well as afficiandos, the Decca OPERA series presents many of the finest opera recordings ever made, in fresh new packaging, utilizing the original sleeve art. Choose from 40 titles. PurcellDido & Aeneas, The Indian Queen Ainsley, Bott, Kirkby, Hogwood Sale $16.99 2 CD set
WagnerGotterdammerung
DonizettiL’Elisir D’Amore
RossiniLa Cenerentola
Nilsson, Windgassen, Böhm Sale $23.99 4 CD set
Alagna, Gheorghiu, Scaltriti Sale $16.99 2 CD set
Bartoli, Matteuzzi, Chailly Sale $16.99 2 CD set
ON SALE THROUGH APRIL 1ST 40
Willamette Week MARCH 14, 2012 wweek.com
MARCH 14-20
= WW Pick. Highly recommended. Most prices listed are for advance ticket sales. At-the-door increases and so-called convenience charges may apply, so it’s best to call ahead. Editor: BEN WATERHOUSE. Stage: BEN WATERHOUSE (bwaterhouse@wweek. com). Classical: BRETT CAMPBELL (bcampbell@wweek.com). Dance: HEATHER WISNER (dance@wweek.com). TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit information at least two weeks in advance to: bwaterhouse@wweek.com.
THEATER A Lesson Before Dying
Profile Theatre presents Romulus Linney’s stage adaptation of Ernest J. Gaines’ masterful novel about a frustrated teacher forced by his godmother to attempt to redeem the dignity of a young black man, wrongly convicted of murder, through the power of writing. Theater! Theatre!, 3430 SE Belmont St., 242-0080. 7:30 pm Wednesdays-Saturdays, 2 pm Sundays. $16-$30.
Danny and the Deep Blue Sea
Danny and Roberta have each done some bad things. Danny picks fights with anyone who looks at him wrong; Roberta has daddy issues, to put it mildly. Seeking solace in the isolation of a deserted Bronx bar, they instead find each other. They begin a hostile but curious conversation, sharing their most intimate secrets and then lashing out just as quickly. Their encounter turns violent, then passionate, and they allow themselves to imagine a future where they might be happy together. John Patrick Shanley calls this early one-act an “Apache dance,” after the dramatic, early-20th-century Parisian couple dance that mimics a violent encounter between a man and woman. Danny (JR Wickman) and Roberta (Dainichia Noreault) scream, slap and overturn benches. They make love with equal fury. The two actors fill every inch of the sparse set and small theater with their volcanic emotions, creating a reality both painfully uncomfortable and heartbreaking. They are seeking an escape from their own heads and forgiveness—if only from each other—for the things they’ve done. PENELOPE BASS. Action/Adventure Theater, 1050 SE Clinton St., actionadventure.org. 8 pm Thursdays-Sundays through March 24. $15. Thursdays are “pay what you will.”
French Theater Festival
Fabulations, Portland’s Frenchlanguage theater, presents a series of plays and storytelling events for children in venues around Portland. See fabulations.org for the complete schedule. Multiple locations , fabulations.org. Séraphine 2 pm Saturday, March 17; La Leçon de Lulu and Bassinette 6:30 and 8 pm Tuesday, March 20; Tour du Monde des pays Francophones 3 pm Saturday, March 24. Varies, mostly free.
The Irish Curse
Triangle Productions presents a comedy by Martin Casella about a support group for Irish-American men with small penises. Sanctuary at Sandy Plaza, 1785 NE Sandy Blvd., 239-5919. 7:30 pm Thursdays-Saturdays, 2 pm Sundays. Closes April 1. $15-$35.
Locomotion
Oregon Children’s Theatre presents a play about 11-year-old orphan Lonnie Collins Motion, named by his deceased parents after the Little Eva single, who finds purpose in poetrywriting. Winningstad Theatre, Portland Center for the Performing Arts, 1111 SW Broadway, 228-9571. 2 and 5 pm Saturday, 2 pm Sunday, March 17-18. $13-$28.
On Golden Pond
Lakewood Theatre presents Ernest Thompson’s family drama about generation gaps, marriage and a pond. Lakewood Center for the Arts, 368 S State St., Lake Oswego, 635-3901. 7:30 pm Thursdays-Saturdays, 7 pm Sundays March 18-25, 2 pm Sundays March 18-April 15. $25-$28.
Red
The great abstract painter Mark Rothko was born 99 years ago this September.
Portland, which was the Russian-born artist’s first American hometown and the site of his first solo show, is getting a jump start on next year’s inevitable centenary celebrations with an exhibit at the Portland Art Museum and Portland Center Stage’s production of John Logan’s play about Rothko’s illfated 1958 mural commission for the Four Seasons restaurant. Set in the artist’s cavernous, paint-splattered studio (impressively rendered here by Daniel Meeker), Red is mostly a series of artistic debates between Rothko and a fictional assistant, Ken. But what debates! The grandiosity of Logan’s screenplays finds suits the character of Rothko, famous for his verbosity, just fine. As performed by Daniel Benzali, who gives the artist the bombastic musicality of a thinner, snappier Orson Welles, the philosophical patter is hypnotic. It’s unfortunate that Ken is written (and performed, by Patrick Alparone) as a needy irritation, but his presence is made moot by Benzali’s magnificence. BEN WATERHOUSE. Gerding Theater, 128 NW 11th Ave., 445-3700. 7:30 pm Tuesdays-Fridays, 2 and 7:30 pm Saturdays-Sundays. Closes March 18. $20-$64.
Richard Scarry’s Busytown
Northwest Children’s Theatre and School presents a musical adaptation of Richard Scarry’s book What Do People Do All Day? Answer: Sing! NW Neighborhood Cultural Center, 1819 NW Everett St., 222-4480. Noon and 3 pm Saturdays-Sundays through April 1. $18-$22 adults, $13-$18 youth.
Shakespeare’s Amazing Cymbeline
Though it’s one of Shakespeare’s lesser-known tales, Cymbeline employs many of the playwright’s favorite plot devices—mistaken identity, forbidden love, girls disguised as boys, scheming queens, betrayal, beheadings, etc. But Portland Center Stage’s new production, Shakespeare’s Amazing Cymbeline, presents a show stripped down to its barest elements with a cast of only six actors performing on the sparsest of sets. In addition to the minimalism, director Chris Coleman’s adaptation includes a third-party narrator on the piano (Michael G. Keck). A congenial fellow reminiscent of Sam in Casablanca, the narrator presents Cymbeline through his own eyes, serving both to clarify the more complex scenes and offer his interpretation of the story’s theme of love betrayed. PENELOPE BASS. Gerding Theater, 128 NW 11th Ave., 445-3700. 7:30 pm Tuesdays-Fridays, 2 and 7:30 pm Saturdays-Sundays. Closes April 8. $20-$51.
Shakespeare’s R&J
Joe Calarco’s play Shakespeare’s R&J a jarring piece of theater. Aware that we all know the story of the star-crossed lovers, Calarco’s script approaches the text from a perspective of discovery, framing the tale from the perspectives of four boarding school boys who find a banned copy of Romeo and Juliet in the floorboards. They make a ritual of acting it out together. Hormones start gurgling. In the hands of Hillsboro’s Bag&Baggage and visiting Glaswegian director Jennifer Dick, the show is explosive. The sparse cast features four rookies ably diving headlong into the story. On a minimalist stage, they behave like believable dorm rats, roughhousing and showboating, with Ian Kane donning an acoustic guitar between transforming into multiple characters. For a while, it’s like watching schoolyard kids playing Star Wars. But tranquility is violently shattered whenever comfort sets in, as in a scene where our Romeo (Samuel Benedict) and Juliet (Phillip J. Berns) lock lips for the first time, only to be met with fierce protest by the sometimes Mercutio (Sean Powell).
The actors, whenever confronted with homosexuality, promptly snap out of character and into a dogmatic, militaristic religious routine introduced in the play’s opening, with the phrase “thou shalt not” chanted like a boot camp mantra. It’s rough, challenging stuff that courts controversy. But as the play progresses, it’s easy to become lost in the performances, to simply accept that this is the same love story we’ve seen—until we’re violently reminded by Powell or Kane that maybe this is a little more racy than the iambic pentameter would imply. The Venetian Theatre, 253 E Main St., Hillsboro, 345-9590. 7:30 pm Thursday-Saturday, 2 pm Sunday, March 15-18. $12-$25.
and “being poor,” the troupe crafted a genuinely funny production complete with improvised musical numbers about “the bro code” and a loving ballad to happy hour. Although some moments are a bit rough around the edges, the overall performance manages the right balance of spontaneity and continuity—and puppets. PENELOPE BASS. Funhouse Lounge, 2432 SE 11th Ave. 8 pm Saturdays through March 31. “Pay what you want.” 21+.
Live Wire!
The radio variety revue celebrates its 100th show with Keen president James Curleigh, comic Ron Funches, writer Susan Orlean and Long Winters frontman John Roderick. Where’s the album, John? We want the fucking album! Alberta Rose Theatre, 3000 NE Alberta St., 719-6055. 7:30 pm Saturday, March 17. $18-$34. 18+.
CONT. on page 42
REVIEW OWEN CAREY
PERFORMANCE
Spider Baby, The Musical
The inaugural show of Epiphany Theatre Company (“Portland’s classic geek theater!”) is an original musical adaptation of a 1964 horror movie about a family of developmentally disabled rapists and murderers. Fun! TaborSpace, 5441 SE Belmont St., 971-238-4335. 8 pm ThursdaysSaturdays through March 24. $8-$10.
Woyzeck
For a production boasting both an original translation (by Nicholas Babson, who also stars) and original songs (by The Builders and the Butchers frontman Ryan Sollee), new company Ominous Horse’s take on Georg Büchner’s 1837 tragedy is depressingly unoriginal. With its bodice-and-tunic costuming, clown makeup, tumbling, unappealingly affected vamping, forced audience participation and the confused, blustery tone of amateur Shakespeare, the show feels like every “experimental” production of a European absurdist play performed by recent college grads since 1970. (There is some interesting movement work with wooden poles, of which I’d like to see more.) Sollee’s bleak, gloomy songs are very good, complementing the tone of the script, and are performed with verve by the ensemble, but they are unfortunately interspersed with long periods of shouted nonsense and desperate boredom. It’s as if someone mashed up a Builders concert and an Occupy General Assembly meeting. Down twinkles! BEN WATERHOUSE. The Headwaters, 55 NE Farragut St., No. 9, 984-5831. 8 pm Thursdays-Saturdays, 2 pm Sundays through March 17. $10-$15. Thursdays are “pay what you will.”
COMEDY AND VARIETY The Aces
Pedigreed Portland comics Michael Fetters and Shelley McLendon present a new live sketch comedy show. Here you’ll see the trick to the quirky comedy that Portland seems to like so much: make the audience nervously uncomfortable, then take advantage of the vulnerability for the payoff. What’s almost funny in the beginning becomes really funny when it’s revisited later. The humor is subtle, not brazen. But it’s also goofy. I spent a good deal of time trying to figure out if one character was a homeless kid or a raccoon (it was an owl). The show is laugh-out-loud funny, but it only lasts an hour. AARON SPENCER. Theater! Theatre!, 3430 SE Belmont St., acespdx.wordpress.com. 8 pm FridaysSaturdays through March 17. $14-$17.
Avenue PDX
There’s something undeniably amusing about watching foul-mouthed puppets talk about sex, get stoned and vomit from a vodka hangover. It’s probably why the Broadway puppet musical Avenue Q won three Tony awards. Doing their part locally to celebrate the lost art of puppetry, Portland improv troupe the Unscriptables is offering its own version of puppet obscenity with Avenue PDX. Being improv, the performance will, of course, be different every time. But the basic premise is a cast of characters (some human, some puppet) who all live in the same apartment building in Portland, including new-to-Portland Jack, sexy nerd Sally, Mayor Henry Weinhard and sexual deviant Mr. Jenky. Taking our audience’s theme suggestions of “vodka”
CAN’T HANG WITH THE STREETS: Berkshire, Jackson and Van Voris.
RACE (ARTISTS REP) Let me tell you about David Mamet: He’s 64 years old, hasn’t written anything really good since Ronin and hates women. If you’ve ever seen a Mamet play, you already knew that last bit. His female characters are self-serving manipulators (Speed-the-Plow, Oleanna), victims (Glengarry Glen Ross) or lesbians, who as far as Mamet is concerned are just men with boobs (Boston Marriage). So it should come as no surprise that the characters in a play explicitly about race relations in America should agree only that bitches ain’t shit. In Race, a pair of private attorneys, one white (Todd Van Voris) and one black (Reginald Andre Jackson), attempt to construct a defense for a millionaire white guy (Jim Iorio) accused of raping a black woman. They are hindered by their client’s reluctance to discuss the incident, the incompetence of their assistant (Ayanna Berkshire playing an apparently bright black woman and graduate of a prestigious law school whom they have for some reason hired as a secretary), and a shared speech impediment that forces them to speak only in epigrams. The key problem of defending their client is not that he may be a rapist, of course, but that he is white and his accuser is black. And so, although the play begins with an admission that there is nothing a white man can say to a black man on the subject of race, Mamet spends 80 minutes explaining the differences ’tween white folks and black. In short: Blacks hate whites, and whites fear blacks. Not that it matters. The twists of Race’s thin plot turn on the question of which of its women is more treacherous. The accuser might be lying or the assistant might be a saboteur, unwilling to aid a rapist. Although, if so, why is she working for private attorneys and not a prosecutor? It’s implied that hiring a woman at all is unusual in the legal industry. Dumb broad. High five, Dave! The play’s cultural context is as dated as its sexual politics. The most recent racially charged incident mentioned is not Hurricane Katrina or Obama’s election or the rise of the birthers. It’s the O.J. Simpson trial, a subject as old-fashioned as Mamet’s conviction that he knows what it’s like to be black because he is Jewish. Artists Rep’s production is satisfactory, but not so good as to overcome the playwright’s flaws. Director Tamara Fisch’s adept blocking smooths the play’s lurching transitions. Jackson quietly outperforms Van Voris’ thundering orations with taut energy and maybe a deep, simmering well of resentment. Iorio seems as nervous as a rich man caught raping the cookie jar should. The dick-wagging patter flows fluidly, but not quickly enough. Once you realize you’re not in for a drama so much as a dramatized Thanksgiving Day rant by someone’s loud, gynophobic, neocon uncle, even 80 minutes is too much to happily endure. BEN WATERHOUSE. David Mamet channels Dr. Dre.
SEE IT: Race is at Artists Repertory Theatre, 1515 SW Morrison St., 241-1278, artistsrep.org. 7:30 pm Tuesdays-Saturdays, 2 and 7:30 pm Sundays. Through April 8. $25-$50, $20 students. Willamette Week MARCH 14, 2012 wweek.com
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RECOGNITION
a musical play by Chris Tabor Sometimes life can be challenging. Get recharged with a story of a recently unemployed man who finds new purpose from an unexpected source!
PERFORMANCE
MARCH 14-20
Bob Odenkirk and Tom Johnson in: A Load of Hooey
The Bob half of Mr. Show (and Saul Goodman on Breaking Bad) comes to town to do some sketch comedy with his former Chicago stand-up buddy, Brody Theater director Tom Johnson. Should be great! Brody Theater, 16 NW Broadway, 224-2227. 8:30 pm Friday, 7:30 and 10 pm Saturday, March 16-17. $22.50.
ONLY FIVE PERFORMANCES!
Sideburns
Please Call 503-725-3307 or visit stage1productions.org
The Weekly Recurring Humor Night
Friday 3/23/12 – Sunday 3/25/12, PSU Performance Hall Tickets $30 adults, Students & Seniors $25, Group Discounts
YASMEEN GODDER LOVE FIRE “A beautifully perceptive microcosm of humanity.” -Ballet Magazine (UK)
FROM ISRAEL
WHITE BIRD
Improv comedy in the style of a Ken Burns documentary. Jack London Bar, 529 SW 4th Ave., 503-228-7605. 8 pm Wednesday, March 14. $4. 21+.
A comedy showcase featuring Ron Funches, Shane Torres, Jimmy Newstetter, Christian Ricketts, Phil Schallberger, Jessie McCoy and Jen Allen, hosted by Whitney Streed. Tonic Lounge, 3100 NE Sandy Blvd., 238-0543. 9:30 pm Wednesdays. $3-$5. 21+.
CLASSICAL Bach Cantata Choir
You don’t have to give up music or money for Lent, as the fine chorus performs J.S. Bach’s moving Cantata No. 82, (“I Have Enough”), music by the great Renaissance composer Orlande de Lassus and more in its annual free Lenten season concert. Rose City Park Presbyterian Church, 1907 NE 45th Ave., 702-1973. 2 pm Sunday, March 18. Donation.
Classical Revolution PDX String Quartet The classical music rebels and DTQ String Quartet will perform movements from 10 string quartets submitted by Oregon composers. A panel (performer, professor, and pundit) will choose one composer to receive a professional recording of the winning quartet. It’s a chance to hear what kind of music is emerging from the next generation of Oregon composers. Community Music Center, 3350 SE Francis St., 823-3177. 7 pm Sunday, March 18. Donation.
Contemporary Portland Orchestra Project
This benefit for the Oregon Food Bank features new music by CPOP founder and composer Justin Ralls for ensemble and electronics, Frederic Rzewski’s Moutons de Panurge, group improvisations and a vegetable orchestra. Someday Lounge, 125 NW 5th Ave., 248-1030. 5 pm Saturday, March 17. Donation of two to four nonperishable food items.
Free Marz String Trio
This March Music Moderne multimedia concert features FearNoMusic and Oregon Symphony violinist and violist Inés Voglar and Joël Belgique, plus cellist Diane Chaplin performing music by György Ligeti, Henryk Górecki and Esa-Pekka Salonen. There also will be a world premiere “ritual sound theater” by Portland’s Bob Priest and a new work by KQAC radio announcer Robert McBride in tribute to John Cage, interspersed by actor Jean Sherrard intoning words by Czeslaw Milosz and Nathaniel Hawthorne. The CoHo Theater, 2257 NW Raleigh St., 239-0099. 7:30 pm WednesdayThursday, March 14-15. Free.
Friends of Rain THU-SAT
Photo by Tamar Lamm
MAR 29-31
LINCOLN HALL PORTLAND STATE UNIVERSITY, 8PM
SPONSORED BY
TICKETS: w w w.whitebird.org (ZERO ticket fees) 42
Willamette Week MARCH 14, 2012 wweek.com
Yasmeen Godder - WW - 6V - 14 Mar.indd 1
3/8/2012 11:46:52 AM
CHRISTOPHER DUGGAN
Experience an Unexpected Miracle!
In a March Music Moderne concert, the Lewis & Clark College faculty new-music ensemble performs works by Stephen Andrew Taylor— who’s contributed arrangements for Storm Large and Pink Martini, and who recently completed an opera based on an Ursula K. Le Guin story, which Third Angle excerpted in a recent concert—the great American composer George Crumb, centennial composer John Cage and three pieces from guest composer (from Houston) Marcus Maroney. Evans Auditorium at Lewis &Clark College, 0615 SW Palatine Hill Road. 7:30 pm Friday, March 16. Free.
KIDD PIVOT’S DARK MATTERS
Kammerchor Stuttgart
The renowned German chamber choir, which rarely appears in the U.S. sings music by Mendelssohn and J.S. Bach, 20th-century composers Arvo Pärt, Krzysztof Penderecki, György Ligeti and, with help from the PSU Chamber Choir, Brahms and Bruckner. First Congregational Church, 1126 SW Park Ave., 725-3011. 8 pm Friday, March 16. $20-$30.
Kirill Gerstein
In this Portland Piano International concert, the prizewinning Russian renegade jazzer, who impressed Portland as a soloist with the Oregon Symphony in 2009, will play music by J.S. Bach, Mozart, Schumann (his picturesque Carnaval) and a jazz-tinged, floating 2010 work he commissioned from Oliver Knussen. Newmark Theatre, 1111 SW Broadway, 228-1388. 4 pm Sunday, March 18. $14-$54.
Oregon Symphony
Irish tenor John McDermott and the Molly Malone Irish Dancers join the band for “Danny Boy” and other St. Paddy’s faves. Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, 1037 SW Broadway, 228-1353. 7:30 pm Saturday, 3 pm Sunday March 17-18. $21-$92.
All-Ireland Cultural Society’s 71st Annual St. Patrick’s Day Festival
St. Patrick’s Day fun, minus the Guinness-induced excess, can be found at this daylong familyfriendly event, which features a corned-beef–and-cabbage dinner served from 4:30-6:30 pm and performances throughout the day. Highlights include the Comerford Irish dancers at 1:30 pm, the Meehan Irish dancers at 3:45 pm and the Molly Malone Irish dance troupe at 7:15 pm. Ambridge Event Center, 1333 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., oregonirishclub.org. Noon-8 pm Saturday, March 17. Free-$10.
Big Apple Boogie
Do Jump! is having a shindig and the whole family’s invited. The Bon Voyage Benefit Dance Party is a fundraiser for the company’s upcoming show at New York’s New Victory Theater, to help offset traveling expenses. Belinda, Hova and DJ Georgia of kids’ radio show Greasy Kid Stuff are spinning the tunes, so bring the kids and dance, dance, dance! Echo Theatre, 515 SE 37th Ave. 3 pm Sunday, March 18. $5.
Kidd Pivot
DANCE
Petrushka this isn’t: An angry puppet wreaks havoc in the first half of Dark Matters, the jaw-dropping two-act work that Kidd Pivot will stage on its return visit to Portland. The Frankfurt-based company, directed by Canadian choreographer Crystal Pite, launched White Bird’s Uncaged series back in 2008 with Lost Action, a physically fearless mix of sculptural contemporary choreography with balletic and hip-hop accents. With Dark Matters, Pite examines the forces that act upon us, using both small and over-sized puppeteering props metaphorically before moving into a puredance second half, all accompanied by a score from long-time collaborator Owen Belton. The anticipation is killing us. (Intermediate and advance dancers, take note: Pite will teach a master class at 11:30 am Saturday, March 17, at Conduit, too. Admission is $15; reserve your space by emailing classes@conduit-pdx. org with the subject line “Kidd Pivot Workshop.”) Newmark Theatre, 1111 SW Broadway, 800-380-3516. 8 pm Thursday-Saturday, March 15-17. $20-$30.
Agnieszka Laska Dancers
Luciana Proaño
Portland Gay Men’s Chorus
The 150-voice choir performs “the greatest hits of gay choral music” (by Roger Bourland, Fred Mall, Eric Barnes and more) as a soundtrack to an original video about a highschool gay-straight alliance, featuring young Portland actors. Kaul Auditorium at Reed College, 3203 SE Woodstock Blvd., 226-2588. 8 pm Saturday, 2 pm Sunday, March 17-18. $16-$30.
Raphael House Benefit
To assist the anti-domestic-violence agency, local storytellers, singers and musicians will perform songs, poems and stories by women composers, including Thea Musgrave, Fanny Mendelssohn, Sarah McLachlan, Bonnie Rideout and Carole King. St. Michael and All Angels Church, 1704 NE 43rd Ave., 284-7141. 7 pm Friday, March 16. Donation.
If you know the Agnieszka Laska Dancers, you know that the company has never shied away from addressing social issues, from 9/11 to Gitmo, through multimedia modern dance. Broken Flowers is Laska’s treatise on teen sex slavery and human trafficking, set to music by Bob Priest inspired by Jimi Hendrix. This is a workin-progress showing (one performance, limited seating) as a part of the March Music Moderne series; the fully developed work is tentatively scheduled to debut this fall. Zoomtopia, 810 SE Belmont St., aldancers.org. 7 pm Saturday, March 17. Sliding scale admission from $12.
As the seasonal thaw begins, Luciana Proaño (wearing fine, feathered regalia) celebrates the Peruvian running messengers of old with her contemporary-dance work Chaski, which she describes as a kind of one-woman Rite of Spring. “We flow like rivers, as different waters on the same bed,” Proaño explains. “We expect a path, then suddenly change course. And, we carry on.” Guitarist/husband JB Butler plays along. Conduit Dance , 918 SW Yamhill St., Suite 401, 221-5857. 7 pm Friday-Saturday, March 16-17. $5-$25.
For more Performance listings, visit
VISUAL ARTS
MARCH 14-20
= WW Pick. Highly recommended. By RICHARD SPEER. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit show information—including opening and closing dates, gallery address and phone number—at least two weeks in advance to: Visual Arts, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: rspeer@wweek.com.
Encyclopedia A-L
The best thing you can say about Allen Maertz’s series of photographic prints, Encyclopedia A-L, is that they’re nicely matted and framed. These arid images of scientific imagery—dinosaurs, skeletons, the DNA double-helix—are uninspiringly composed and unremarkably printed. The miniature stage sets in some prints are apt to remind viewers of photographer Grace Weston’s recent work at Augen Gallery, except without any of Weston’s humor and charm. Through March 31. Chambers @ 916, 916 NW Flanders St., 227-9398.
GUN
The title of this show says it all: GUN. Each photograph features a gun in a different context. Some of the images are iconic, such as Bob Jackson’s capturing of the moment Jack Ruby shot and killed Lee Harvey Oswald. Others are less familiar but no less disturbing—case in point: Elliott Erwitt’s image of a young boy grinning as he holds a toy gun to his temple. The show feels more like a museum exhibition than a gallery show and represents a new level of sophistication in Hartman’s ever-evolving programming. Through March 31. Charles A. Hartman Fine Art, 134 NW 8th Ave., 287-3886.
Joe Feddersen: Role Call
In the fused glass and relief prints that make up his exhibition, Role Call, Joe Feddersen uses grid-based
veteran painter deploys whimsy and regional pride in his affectionate tributes to all things Northwest. Through March 31. Caplan Art Designs, 1031 NW 11th Ave., 319-6437.
Of Other Spaces
motifs to render Native American archetypes. The works fare poorly in comparison with Feddersen’s vessels in silvered glass, showcased in previous shows. Those vessels married geometric rigor with visual glamour. The new works are clunkily composed and lack eye-catching surface effects. Beyond that, the gridded mosaic motif just doesn’t work. At his best, this artist integrates materiality and spirit. In this show, he fractures this integration into tiny squares, defeating his driving thesis. Through April 1. Froelick Gallery, 714 NW Davis St., 222-1142.
“Deliquesce” is a fancy word for what happens to mushrooms when they rot and liquify. It’s the concept at the center of Michael Endo and Emily Nachison’s exhibition, of other spaces. Sculpting mushrooms and other fungi out of cast glass, Nachison uses installations such as the circular Portal to illustrate the cycle of life and death as each of 20 mushrooms grows, withers and melts into the soil. These images of organic decay are complemented by Endo’s images of urban decay. Through April 28. Bullseye Gallery, 300 NW 13th Ave., 227-0222, 227-0222.
Mandy Stigant
Ted Olson
Mandy Stigant’s stoneware works are the highlight of this month’s show at Blackfish. With their bonelike textures, the organic shapes in Stigant’s Divide series interlock like puzzle pieces and climb the gallery walls in elegant vertical steps. The tectonic compositions are highly allusive and visually appealing. One wishes, however, that the artist had resisted the urge to add prissy patterns and holes to the shapes, as these are redundant and unnecessary, detracting from the sculptures’ impact. Through March 31. Blackfish Gallery, 420 NW 9th Ave., 234-2634.
Mitchell Freifeld
With an endearingly naive style, Mitchell Freifeld paints cityscapes that playfully warp perspective, integrating realism with geometry. The
We tend to assume that artists make chromatic decisions based on mystical values (see the Mark Rothko retrospective at Portland Art Museum for a case study), but Ted Olson shows us that’s not always the case. His sumptuous abstract paintings are richly hued in earth tones of brown, cordovan and pumpkin. But the artist explicates his color schema in an accompanying chart, which shows the identical colors on three quotidian items: a sweater, a briefcase and a pair of slacks. It’s a winky acknowledgement that not all art traffics in the transcendental. Through April 1. Nine Gallery, 122 NW 8th Ave., 227-7114.
For more Visual Arts listings, visit
REVIEW
ATTRACTION AND REPULSION AT COCK GALLERY Picasso drew and painted plenty of sphincters in and decay, loosely based on fungi, which feast on his perverse erotic fantasias, but the necessary all things dead and rotting. With their trumpetbut generally unglamorous muscle doesn’t get shaped spores and sprouting, turdlike growths, a lot of face time in fine art—not even in nudes. these mycological/proctological hybrids are The provocatively named Cock Gallery is cor- precisely what you don’t want to see on your recting that with a show colonoscopy report. While that’s all about sphincters they are eye-pleasingly and defecation. Debuting at sinuous in form, the sculpFirst Thursday, Attraction tures are regrettably sloppy and Repulsion is a twoin execution, particularly in person exhibition at the the slapdash manner Speert Everett Station Lofts. has affixed the shapes to On one side, Arthur their bases. Had he taken Johnstone, a recent gradumore time and care in his ate of Reed College, shows craftsmanship, the extra a suite of colored-pencil investment would have paid drawings on paper. Chanoff significantly. neling cervix-gazing sex Gallery director Paul educator Annie Sprinkle, Soriano is an artist and volJohnstone turned a hand unteer active in Portland’s mirror on his own nether LGBTQ community. “The eye, and the resulting idea for Cock Gallery came BLEACHED BY ARTHUR JOHNSTONE depictions join the scant from the limited opporturanks of anal self-portraits. nities I’ve encountered for New gallery goes where the sun don’t shine. For other works, he used his my own work, which is too girlfriend as a live model, homoerotic for most gallerperused Google image searches for “sphincter,” ies to risk,” he says. “It was a perfect opportunity and gathered source material from sex websites to show subject matter other galleries might shy and the gay fisting community. The drawings’ away from—and maybe have a little fun as well.” titles speak colorfully of that sunburst of wrinSoriano has ambitious aims. For next month’s kles, known to us all but seldom touched by the show, he’s featuring never-before-exhibited light of day: Hairy Spread, Red Eye, Prolapsed erotic prints by renowned photographer Paul Pleasure?, Puckered and Bleached. While the Dahlquist. With Attraction and Repulsion and drawings do not portend the next John Singer the upcoming Dahlquist show, Cock Gallery is Sargent, they are inventively rendered, chromat- off to a running start in its mission to showcase ically nuanced and, we dare say, transcendent of transgressive work. RICHARD SPEER. their subject matter. On the opposite-facing wall, Zach Speert dis- SEE IT: Attraction and Repulsion is at Cock Gallery, 625 NW Everett St., No. 106, 552-8686. plays ceramic sculptures inspired by defecation Through March 31.
TICKETS GOING FAST! St. Patrick's Day Celebration Sat, March 17 | 7:30 pm Sun, March 18 | 3 pm Jeff Tyzik, conductor John McDermott, Irish tenor Molly Malone Irish Dancers Irish tenor John McDermott enthralls you with a spectacular selection of your favorite Irish tunes. From the emotional “Danny Boy” to high-stepping jigs, what better way to celebrate the time when everybody’s Irish!
Groups of 10 or more save: 503-416-6380
Call: 503-228-1353 Click: OrSymphony.org Come in: 923 SW Washington | 10 am – 6 pm Mon – Fri
ARLENE
SCHNITZER
CONCERT
HALL
IT’S NEW OPEN SEASON ON PORTLAND’S POLITICOS!
CANDIDATES GONE WILD
is back!
& even wilder!
3-way tug of war between mayoral candidates Jefferson Smith, Charlie Hales & Eileen Brady! Amanda Fritz and Mary Nolan teach tango! The secret talents of Portland politicians! Julian Assange!* Music by Radiation City! Hosted by Live Wire’s Courtenay Hameister!
APRIL 17 TICKETS $5 - ALL AGES BAGDAD THEATER 3702 SE HAWTHORNE BLVD. DOORS OPEN AT 6 PM, SHOW STARTS AT 8 PM Tickets can be purchased by coming to the world HQ of Willamette Week, 2220 NW Quimby St. or The Bus Project, 333 SE 2nd Ave. *Julian Assange will not actually be here, but somebody from Occupy Portland might read something he wrote.
Willamette Week MARCH 14, 2012 wweek.com
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Eat Happy | Drink Well Intimate Dinners &Boisterous Feasts ...and wickedly delicious!
Small Plates. Bold Taste. Big Plates. Shared Great. Food to drink by, crafted by Chef Michael Hanaghan, a Keller protégé. Distinctive cocktails, brews and wines from here and there. Fridays in Spring Jazz dans la Cave
Brewers Dinner with Burnside Brewery | March 22 Four courses paired with brew $45 Monday-Thursday 11:30 a.m. – 10:00 p.m. Friday-Saturday 11:30 a.m. – 12:00 a.m. Sunday 10:00 a.m. – 10:00 p.m.
626 SW Park Avenue Portland, OR | (503) 236-3036 www.brasserieportland.com
a Pascal Chureau/Michael Hanaghan collaboration
Explore Your Academic Future Friday, March 30th at Pacifica This special program on Friday, March 30 is a comprehensive overview of Pacifica’s Graduate Degree Programs in Depth Psychology, Clinical and Couseling Psychology, and Mythological Studies:
BOOKS
MARCH 14-20
= WW Pick. Highly recommended. By MARIANNA HANE WILES. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit lecture or reading information at least two weeks in advance to: WORDS, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: words@wweek.com. Fax: 243-1115.
WEDNESDAY, MARCH 14 Stone Soup Reading Series
Three local writers bring their poems to toss into the pot for Stone Soup: Nicole Zdeb, Rick J and David Matthews. Marino Cafe, 4129 SE Division St. 7 pm. Free.
Think and Drink
Oregon Humanities offers a great series of lively happy-hour discussions: This year’s Think and Drink theme is “The Future,” and the first event will focus on “the future of democracy, food, human intelligence and war.” It’s really a community discussion, but it’ll start with a conversation between professors Bob Liebman and David S. Meyer on the topic. Mission Theater, 1624 NW Glisan St., 223-4527. 6:30 pm. Free.
MONDAY, MARCH 19 The Shanghai Tunnels Project
According to the founders of The Shanghai Tunnels Project, Portland and Shanghai have much in common, including vibrant literary scenes and Shanghai tunnels (though, in Shanghai, they’re used for car transit and presumably known just as “tunnels”). Both cities are hosting this international video-poetry festival—yes, video poetry, as in poetry enhanced by video—with finalists from both cities up for the $300 prize. Jack London Bar, 529 SW 4th Ave., 228-7605. 8 pm. $8. 21+.
Pacifica offers accredited Masters and Doctoral Degree Programs framed in the Jungian tradition of Depth Psychology
Fame: Suzanne Collins
• Sit in on typical classroom sessions • Attend information meetings about each of Pacifica’s degree programs • Explore both of Pacifica’s campuses, located between the coast and the mountains near Santa Barbara, California • Interact with Pacifica students, alumni, and faculty members.
The $75 registration fee for this day-long program includes continental breakfast, buffet lunch, and a $25 gift certificate good at the Pacifica Bookstore. The $75 Application Fee will be waived for attendees.
Space is limited. Register for the March 30th Introduction Day today.
THURSDAY, MARCH 15 Life Choices: The Teachings of Abortion
Veteran feminist (no, really—she won a medal in 2008 for being an early part of the women’s liberation movement) Linda Weber has spent more than 30 years counseling women about their reproductive options, culminating in the publication of her book Life Choices: The Teachings of Abortion. In her reading and Q&A session, she’ll discuss the spiritual aspects of abortion, as well as how embracing choice leads to greater understanding of both death and life. In Other Words, 14 NE Killingsworth St., 232-6003. 5 pm. $5 suggested donation.
Readings of Writings by Other People
Call 805.969.3626, ext. 103 or register online at www.pacifica.edu
It’s a strange concept: Writers were given a month, and asked to construct a piece they would have never written themselves. The reading will feature the alter egos of quite a few local writers, including Donald Dunbar, Jerry Harp, Alex Behr, Emily Kendal Frey, David Knowles, Joseph Mains, Amy Bernstein and B.T. Shaw. Place Gallery, Pioneer Place, third floor, 700 SW 5th Ave. 6 pm. Free.
FRIDAY, MARCH 16 Raymond Bonner
Scan for a video on Pacifica
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Willamette Week MARCH 14, 2012 wweek.com
Hunger Games fangirls (and boys), don’t get too excited. The author herself won’t be on hand at this event, but you can pick up an “illustrated biography” (read: graphic novel) about Collins written by Portlander Sara Gundell. Did you know Collins worked in children’s television before penning The Hunger Games trilogy? Powell’s Books at Cedar Hills Crossing, 3415 SW Cedar Hills Blvd., Beaverton, 228-4651. 7 pm. Free.
249 Lambert Rd., Carpinteria, CA 93013 www.pacifica.edu
In 1982 a black South Carolina man named Edward Lee Elmore was sentenced to death for the murder of a white woman. In Pulitzer Prizewinner Raymond Bonner’s new book, Anatomy of Injustice, Bonner discusses what went wrong in the Elmore case, as well as what he sees as the injustices of our justice system. For his Powell’s appearance, Bonner will discuss executions with Oregon pro-death-penalty prosecutor Josh Marquis. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 228-4651. 7:30 pm. Free.
Sara Benincasa
For most people suffering from agoraphobia and panic attacks, the last thing you want to do is make light of the situation or share your experience with others. Not so for comedian Sara Benincasa: She wrote a book about her struggles, Agorafabulous!: Dispatches From My Bedroom. Powell’s on Hawthorne, 3723 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 228-4651. 7:30 pm. Free.
For more Words listings, visit
MARCH 14-20
= WW Pick. Highly recommended. Editor: AARON MESH. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, send screening information at least two weeks in advance to Screen, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: amesh@wweek.com. Fax: 243-1115.
shown. While the movie includes lots of sex and spanking, it’s chiefly about the thrills, arousals and perils of conversation. R. AARON MESH. Living Room Theaters.
Dr. Seuss’ the Lorax A Thousand Words
Eddie Murphy must stop talking or he’ll die. Not screened for critics. PG-13. Cedar Hills, Pioneer Place, City Center, Division, Movies on TV.
Act of Valor
The many adventures of REAL NAVY SEALS. Not screened for WW by press deadlines. R. Cedar Hills, Cinetopia Mill Plain, Cornelius, Oak Grove, Pioneer Place, City Center, Division, Evergreen, Hilltop, Movies on TV, Sherwood, Tigard, Wilsonville, Sandy, St. Johns Twin Cinema-Pub.
Albert Nobbs
40 The gender-bending Albert Nobbs offers a buy-one-get-one-free coupon of butch, with two central heroines masquerading as dudes. The titular Albert (Glenn Close) should, by all rights, be a sympathetic character. He’s damaged and frightened by the Dublin around him, desperately hanging on to his secret identity in a way that has stifled his ability to actually live. But poor Albert is so one-dimensional the film surrounding him becomes a complete and utter drag. R. PATRICIA SAUTHOFF. Living Room Theaters.
The Artist 64 Repressed memories drive The Artist. It’s a silent-film homage to silent films—or, rather, the fond, slightly condescending recollection of silent films. Rewarded with a basket of Oscars, the comedy from Michel Hazanavicius (who directed the two OSS 177 spoofs) is yet another take on A Star Is Born, with a slam-bang energetic Jean Dujardin trading places in the spotlight with flapper Bérénice Bejo at the cusp of talkies. The period is apt, since most of the movie’s charms are technical gimmicks: the interstitial cards, the tight aspect ratio on glamorous black-and-white marquees, and the sneaky intrusion of ambient noises into the soundtrack. Days after seeing The Artist, I find it hard to place any individual moments that resonated (aside from the doggie heroism), and I suspect that, title aside, the movie feels a complacent cynicism toward art. PG-13. AARON MESH. CineMagic, Lake Twin, Oak Grove, City Center, Evergreen, Fox Tower, Tigard, Sandy.
NEW
Attack of the Flix #03
[ONE NIGHT ONLY, CONTEST] A monthly competition for local films less than 10 minutes long. Curious Comedy Theater, 5225 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd. Film submissions at 7 pm, show at 8 pm Sunday, March. 18. NEW
Being Flynn
58 The problem with most film adap-
tations from memoirs is a simple one: The narrator does little except talk and think about what everybody else is doing. In film form, this can often mean its main character becomes a mopey cipher around whom (and to whom) terrible or amazing things happen. In Being Flynn, based on Nick Flynn’s drug-and-daddy-issue memoir Another Bullshit Night in Suck City, every action and plot twist is given interior monologue, prepackaged through flashback, or bluntly narrated from the pages of the book. Paul Dano, as Flynn, therefore has the unenviable task of trying to wring emotional depths from hushed, flat, on-the-nose voice-over as he plays an anemically troubled, would-be writer who encounters his debilitatingly alcoholic father (the hamming Robert De Niro) as a resident in the homeless facility where Flynn works. In the meantime, Flynn develops the world’s fastest crack addiction and has the world’s fastest recovery, played out in dialogue interspersed throughout the movie as follows: Flynn Jr.: “Am I my father?” FJ: “I’m not my father!” Flynn Sr.: “You are me!” FS: “I made you, but you’re not me.” Almost a Beckett play, really, apart from the numbing-if-capable reliance on cliché and the two-
minute heartwarming montage during which life gets suddenly awesome. R. MATTHEW KORFHAGE. Fox Tower.
Better Than Something: Jay Reatard
80 [HELD OVER] Fans of Jay Reatard: You will see this documentary no matter what I say, because you know as well as I do the man born Jimmie Lee Lindsey Jr. was a heartbreaking jerk of staggering genius responsible for creating the most vital rock-’n’-roll music of this young century, and even a middling bit of opportunistic hagiography would scratch your nagging itch for more Jay and therefore be essential. But I am pleased to inform you that Better Than Something forgoes hack idolatry in favor of a thoughtful portrait of an undeniably talented man who seemed to funnel every good part of his being into making great art before dying at the ridiculous age of 29. You will fall in love all over again. Newcomers to the life and work Jay Reatard: I implore you to see Better Than Something so that you might groove to the raw and vicious work of a master songwriter who passed away at the top of his game after devoting 15 years to furious production and prickly behavior. Interviews with friends, family and the man himself shed light on a cursed dude who couldn’t help living in the red, for better and worse. You will fall in love. CHRIS STAMM. Clinton Street Theater. 7 and 9:15 pm Wednesday-Thursday, March 14-22.
Chronicle
81 Dopey in all the right places and
just mean enough to draw blood, Chronicle strings together a series of increasingly ludicrous set pieces to frequently thrilling effect, and it’s not too shabby as an all-purpose allegory for every messy thing teens get up to, either. Soon after massaging a mysterious object found in a dark hole behind a ridiculous rave—we’ve all been there—three very cute guys find themselves endowed with telekinetic powers. Read it as a study of sexual awakening or pubescent PTSD or highschool hell or teen invincibility—it’s all there—but try to enjoy it first as a blast of pure visual pleasure. PG-13. CHRIS STAMM. Living Room Theaters, Movies on TV.
The Conquest
47 The French answer to Primary Colors—like that Clinton-campaign fictionalization, it’s made with its president still in office—opens with Nicolas Sarkozy (Denis Podalydès) sleek in a velvet dressing gown and gold chain, looking for all the world like Al Pacino in Scarface. The rest of the movie isn’t that complimentary a caricature: Sarko starts out resembling Michael Sheen— not Sheen in The Queen, but Sheen on 30 Rock—and ends up a dead ringer for Little Stevie Van Zandt. In between, his wife cheats on him with an ad man. Quel scandale, the headlines! “Can a cuckold be elected president?” It’s a cruel portrait, with the diminutive politician scarfing chocolates from a box, a two-hankie heroine scorned on Valentine’s Day. The only subject treated worse than the striving officeseeker is the press: Reporters are called cowards more times than they’re called by name, and one cameraman biffs it headfirst onto a sandy beach. Rarely more than watchably acid television, The Conquest contains two memorable shots: Sarkozy bawling out his staff in front of a commercial backdrop, and the nearly elected candidate meeting his estranged wife (Florence Pernel) under umbrellas held by separate flunkies. Cold. AARON MESH. Living Room Theaters.
A Dangerous Method
81 So...tell me about your fathers.
The new David Cronenberg film about the salad days of psychoanalysis, A Dangerous Method isn’t a horror movie until you consider what isn’t
61 It’s a classic children’s tale: Boy living in a desolate, foliage-free world searches far and wide for a seedling to bring life back to the planet and a girl into his life. When that movie was WALL-E, it kicked ass. When it’s The Lorax, not so much. Here’s the thing: Dr. Seuss’ tale of a doomsaying critter called the Lorax doesn’t have a love story. It’s just a quick, rhyming tale of some forest creatures whose home is destroyed by an outsider with an ax and an idea. The Hollywood version tosses in lame backstory about people, and The Lorax is no longer about the environment. That point is made even clearer by the real-world advertising campaign that finds the Lorax shilling for Mazda. The Lorax isn’t terrible, but it’s certainly not great. The 3-D animation is some of the best to come about since the 3-D fad reappeared, and Danny DeVito is fantastic. He voices the fuzzy, mustachioed, tree-hugging grouch perfectly. It’ll be entertaining for kids, but it won’t spark their imaginations—none was used in the making of the film. The story is hackneyed, and the songs barely rhyme. The Lorax might speak for the trees, but clearly, no one is speaking for Dr. Seuss. PG. PATRICIA SAUTHOFF. Cinetopia Mill Plain, Lloyd Center, Cedar Hills, Cornelius, Moreland, Oak Grove, Pioneer Place, City Center, Division, Evergreen, Hilltop, Movies on TV, Sherwood, Tigard, Wilsonville, Sandy.
Filmusik Organ Grinders: The Man With a Movie Camera NEW
[ONE NIGHT ONLY, REVIVAL, LIVE SOUNDTRACK] The 1929 experimental film, with a new score by Bear & Moose. Hollywood Theatre. 8 pm Thursday, March 15.
Forgiveness of Blood
77 Nothing cramps a teenager’s style
more than a familial blood feud. Nik (non-pro Tristan Halilaj) is a scrawny Albanian kid growing up in a rural village. Just as he’s finally starting to
NEW
Faded: Girls + Binge Drinking
[ONE NIGHT ONLY, DIRECTOR ATTENDING] Like an episode of Intervention without the pesky intervention part, Portland documentarian Janet McIntyre’s Faded: Girls + Binge Drinking attempts to dissect the causes of destructive shit-facery among girls by spending three years with four Portland women in various stages of alcohol use. There’s the wild Rose City Roller and Sandy Hut bartendress in denial of her self-destructive persona, an Indonesian immigrant who flies off the handle and into homelessness, a struggling Parkrose student coping with abandonment, and a precocious college freshman plunged into the world of college partying. McIntyre offers hypotheses about female binge drinking—from societal pressure to sexual acceptance—without ascending the pulpit. By simply letting her camera roll, McIntyre offers a stark snapshot of a multilayered problem many dismiss as youthful revelry. NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium. 7 pm Thursday, March 15. Director Janet McIntyre will attend the screening.
CONT. on page 46
REVIEW
NEW Driven: The Films of Nicolas Winding Refn
[FOUR NIGHTS ONLY, REVIVAL] Nicolas Winding Refn populates his world with scum: The neon-drenched, narrow corridors of his best-known works, Drive and Bronson, seethe with junkies, pushers, pimps, killers, convicts and sociopaths. Even the characters of his most unlikely film, the 2009 Christian Viking freak-out Valhalla Rising, share the same mindset: primal impulse. The most verbose characters eventually speak in simple grunts, allowing violence to punctuate their messages. At no point do they question their purpose, or weigh consequences. Brutality is Refn’s language. His 15-year arc as a director is one of constant metamorphosis, and this NW Film Center retrospective offers a much better reason than PIFF to spend two weekends in the Whitsell Auditorium. It’s a chance to get acquainted with all the nasty, impulsedriven antiheroes spawned from one of the most influential directors working in Hollywood today. Drive, Bronson and Valhalla are essential (2003’s Fear X is not). NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium. Fear X screens at 7 pm Wednesday, March 14. Bronson screens at 9 pm Friday and 5 pm Sunday, March 16 & 18. Valhalla Rising screens at 7 pm Friday and 9 pm Saturday, March 16-17. Drive screens at 7 pm Saturday and Sunday, March 16-17.
charm the girl of his dreams, his dad kills one of the neighbors and goes into hiding, prompting the victim’s family to invoke centuries-old Balkan law and call for Nik’s head in retribution. Bummer. Quietly compelling, director Joshua Marston’s first film since 2004’s Maria Full of Grace presents coming of age under the threat of sudden, swift death as not much different than any other adolescent trauma. It’s unclear what inconveniences Nik more: the snipers waiting for him to
SCOTT GARFIELD
MOVIES
CAN’T HARDLY WAIT 48 HOURS: Jonah Hill, Channing Tatum and young folk.
21 JUMP STREET Cloudy with a chance of balls.
Having never seen the TV show this sophomoric comedy plunders, I can offer neither reassurances nor warnings to anyone who reveres the series that launched Johnny Depp. However, I’m betting the original 21 Jump Street was not quite so explicitly fixated on dicks or as unapologetic about teen hedonism as its crass copy. And I can’t imagine it was this much fun. Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum star as Schmidt and Jenko, a mismatched pair of inept cops who bungle an arrest and get shunted to an undercover unit dedicated to sniffing out high-school crimes. The script might as well have been adapted from a rejected pitch for Harold and Kumar Go to 12th Grade. Tasked with infiltrating a teen drug ring by posing as students, Schmidt and Jenko quickly (and sort of creepily) take to their roles and proceed to trip balls, get kids wasted, pursue cute girls and piss off Ice Cube. The unapologetic go-for-broke spirit of the thing results in a few painful misfires (cop-on-perp sexual assault is probably never going to be funny to me, no matter how playful the dry hump), but 21 Jump Street’s episodic anarchy works far more often than it doesn’t. Much of the film’s batshit joy owes to the Hill-Tatum pairing, an obvious but winning odd-couple tactic that zeroes in on the least obnoxious aspects of Tatum’s dirt-dumb persona, which actually ingratiates here instead of inspiring revenge fantasies. And while Hill did more nuanced work in Moneyball, he still shines brightest when his surroundings are idiotic. The idiocy is even strangely liberating, devolving as it does from a neat subversion of the high-school-as-hell cliché that guides most teen comedies. In the imaginary world cooked up by screenwriter Michael Bacall and the co-directors who made Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs, high school is an exceedingly tolerant realm of ethical nonmonogamy, experimentation and play. The old hierarchies have been dismantled, and the kids are all right. They’re great, in fact. So Schmidt and Jenko aren’t cleaning up a mess so much as sneaking into a utopia where smart people do dumb things the right way. They don’t seem ready to leave it all behind at film’s end, and I’m with them—school sounds awesome now. R. CHRIS STAMM.
81 SEE IT: 21 Jump Street opens Friday at Lloyd Center, Cedar Hills, Cinetopia, Cornelius, Oak Grove, Pioneer Place, City Center, Regal, Division, Evergreen, Hilltop, Movies on TV, Sherwood, Tigard, Wilsonville and Sandy.
Willamette Week MARCH 14, 2012 wweek.com
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MARCH 14-20
step outside his house, or the fact that he can’t go to parties anymore. MATTHEW SINGER. Living Room Theaters. NEW
The FP
29 A bizarre, Alamo Drafthouse-
produced mashup of You Got Served, Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome and The Warriors, The FP is a key example of why in-jokes make horrible movies. In a suburban dystopia, rival gang members wage war in a deadly Dance Dance Revolution-type game for control of a liquor store. Sounds fun, especially since directors Brandon and Jason Trost (the latter stars as the hero, and is outperformed by his own eyepatch) are happy to share their obsessions with DDR, apocalypse movies, neon boots, grindhouse nostalgia, techno music and blow jobs. Unfortunately, they lack an affinity for tone. If you’re going to make a straight-faced goof on ridiculous movies where people dance to solve problems, the audience needs to be in on the joke. Hell, Step Up 3D is a more realistic parody of its own genre, and didn’t serve the sole purpose of allowing white people to call each other “nigga” every other sentence (and justify it with a late-game Tupac definition of “never ignorant getting goals accomplished”). I get it. You’re making fun of white kids co-opting ghetto slang. But it’s all tacky as fuck. And there’s no sense enduring tackiness when it’s no fun. Eventually, the joke’s on the audience. R. AP KRYZA. Hollywood Theatre.
seek games (to be fair, it is dark down there). As the Schindler of the shitters, Robert Wieckiewicz is agreeably earthy, with notes of Homer Simpson: He has a running-joke tendency to throttle the necks of people who argue with him, and his limited comprehension of the horror unfolding in his neighborhood makes his enlightenment affecting. R. AARON MESH. Fox Tower.
The Iron Lady 35 Give The Iron Lady points for transparency: The film’s centerpiece is shots of Meryl Streep practicing her accent, the foundation of her biennial Oscar bid. This time out, she’s playing Margaret Thatcher, who in fact did train to lower her register in the 1979 prime minister campaign. So we get a montage of Streep bellowing like she’s rehearsing British Channel whale songs. It is a gesture toward the essential falseness of Thatcher (who had to practice to sound like a no-nonsense mum) and an inadvertent reminder of the vaunted hollowness of Streep. She does impressions. PG-13. AARON MESH. Hollywood Theatre, Lake Twin, Fox Tower, Tigard.
John Carter 3D
53 A thirtysomething take on the fuck-buddy comedy, Friends With Kids fancies itself more adult than those two other movies from last year about boffing BFFs, in which Justin Kutcherlake and Natalie Kunisman foolishly sought unencumbered sexual satisfaction in the loins of their hotbodied besties. In this film, the characters are driven by an even more naïve and selfish impulse: to make a baby with no strings attached. Adam Scott and writer-director Jennifer Westfeldt are old college pals who, for motivations never adequately justified, agree to have a child together and raise it as platonic parents. Staging a mini Bridesmaids reunion, Westfeldt gets good performances out of her supporting cast—Maya Rudolph and Chris O’Dowd make an enjoyably kooky couple; Jon Hamm gets to stretch out in at least one strong dramatic scene; and Kristen Wiig, well, she spends all her screen time weeping—but no one can escape from underneath the film’s contrived sitcom premise, particularly Westfeldt herself: It’s just hard to get behind someone who’d voluntarily reduce parenthood to the level of exroommates sharing custody of an Xbox. We all know where it’s heading from the first two minutes, anyway. It reverses the direction of the typical casual-shtup rom-com—love stumbling upon lust rather than the other way around—but it’s just a different route for ending up at the same place. R. MATTHEW SINGER. Cedar Hills, City Center, Fox Tower.
85 John Carter is a box-office debacle. Pixar wunderkind Andrew Stanton decided to leap from WALL-E into live-action filmmaking by adapting a series of penny dreadfuls penned in 1917 by the guy who invented Tarzan. The movie went through sweeping reshoots because the first cut didn’t make any sense, the budget surpassed $300 million, and the title was trimmed so women would want to see it. Women still don’t want to see it. John Carter is played by Taylor Kitsch (he was Tim Riggins on Friday Night Lights), and he often looks, to put it politely, confused about what actors do. The movie lurches wildly between moods, and the plot is nearly impossible to follow. None of these things matter. John Carter has tectonic flaws, but it’s fearless and exhilaratingly outlandish, the first hint that the CGI era can do something radically different than add bigger bubbles to soap operas. At its worst, it’s grin-inducingly idiosyncratic sci-fi—I haven’t seen this kind of blithe world-building since 2004’s The Chronicles of Riddick. At its best, it’s what people wanted from the Star Wars prequels. It makes you wonder if we still live in a time when new worlds can be discovered, and if something fresh can sprout in our own. This hope—that not everything is regurgitated junk—was also explored by Stanton in WALL-E, and here the redemption isn’t as radical: In a gorgeously orchestrated montage, John saves his princess (Lynn Collins) by knifing through a pile of aliens like a quarterback breaking tackles with a machete. But if the violence is conventional, the sense of exploration and grandeur is real. PG-13. AARON MESH. Cedar Hills, Lloyd Center, Cinetopia Mill Plain, Cornelius, Oak Grove, Pioneer Place, City Center, Division, Evergreen, Hilltop, Movies on TV, Sherwood, Tigard, Wilsonville, Sandy, Roseway, St. Johns Twin Cinema-Pub.
In Darkness
Journey 2: The Mysterious Island 3D
Friends With Kids
58 The Holocaust hideout movie set
in Polish sewers turns out to be, somewhat paradoxically, the Holocaust hideout movie with steamy sex scenes. That’s probably not why In Darkness got a Foreign Language Oscar nomination, but it’s the film’s most distinctive element—credit director Agnieszka Holland’s penchant, dating back to 1993’s The Secret Garden, for recognizing the sensual potential in private places. She homes in on relational indelicacies that other works in the genre have tended to gloss over: For once, we see Jews with mistresses as well as devout nuclear families. The frankness enlivens an otherwise wellworn exercise in barbarity and limited salvation, a blend of The Pianist with those Venetian catacomb scenes from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. Considering that it’s nearly 2 1/2 hours long, the movie does a terrible job differentiating between the 10 people snuck into the sewers (to be fair, it is dark down there) and leans wearily on the suspense tropes of hide-and-
46
This Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson sequel was not shown 2: critics in time 2: meet press deadlines. PG. Cedar Hills, Forest, Oak Grove, Division, Hilltop, Movies on TV, Sherwood, Wilsonville. NEW Mean Streets PDX: A History of B-Movies Filmed in Portland
[ONE NIGHT ONLY, REVIVAL] David Walker is bringing the garbage back home. This Sunday, the filmmaker, historian and former WW movie critic takes the Hollywood Theatre stage to recall our rich history of disreputable cinema—particularly lost flicks from the boom era of 1972 through the early ’90s. The presentation features a reel of clips from Portland-filmed crap. There’s Ironheart, a 1992 Van Damme knockoff with Bolo Yeung. Then 1990’s Fatal Revenge, a batshit-stupid cop flick in which Walker himself meets an untimely death. Don Gronquist’s elusive 1975 opus Rockaday Ritchie & Queen of the Hop is followed by
Willamette Week MARCH 14, 2012 wweek.com
Shaw’s maniacally inept and wonderful Death Wish knockoff, Courier of Death. With the possible exception of the 1993 Andrew Dice Clay wank job Brain Smasher…A Love Story, these are obscure films. But it’s amazing they haven’t resurfaced amid the current Portland cinema climate. Crowds like the ones that pack the Hollywood on exploitation nights would erupt in glee at a scene in Courier of Death in which the hero bites a woman’s leg so savagely that she flips over, or at the sight in Fatal Revenge of the banks of the Willamette River playing host to a kung-fu melee apparently coordinated by a yellow belt. AP KRYZA. Hollywood Theatre. 7:30 pm Tuesday, March 20. NEW
joyless experience. Safe House is proof that even revealed magic can sing and sting a little, for Washington’s performance as rogue CIA agent Tobin Frost—he knows things people don’t want him to know, and he’s got the ridiculous name to prove it—is the film’s only semiprecious asset. R. CHRIS STAMM. Cedar Hills, Cinetopia Mill Plain, Cornelius, City Center, Division, Evergreen, Movies on TV.
The Secret World of Arrietty
A boy befriends a tiny fairy in this anime from Hiromasa Yonebayashi. Not screened for Portland critics. G. Living Room Theaters, Movies on TV, Tigard.
A Separation
90 Thanks in no small part to Jafar
Panahi, Iranian cinema keeps its ear to the ground, preferring close obser-
REVIEW H I L A R Y B R O N W Y N G AY L E
MOVIES
The Neverending Story
[ONE DAY ONLY, REVIVAL] You wouldn’t be interested. Based on the failure of John Carter, we assume people have lost interest in space dogs. Hollywood Theatre. 2 pm Saturday, March 17.
Pina 3D
95 Up to now, 3-D in film has been an
enterprise largely extraneous to the character of film itself: moviedom’s version of the 10,000 love-fattened cherubs overwhelming the interior of a baroque church. German auteur Wim Wenders’ Pina—an elegiac documentary about the work of late, iconoclastic choreographer Pina Bausch—is something else altogether, a brokenhearted Billie Holiday to the 3-D form’s usual emptily virtuosic Ella Fitzgerald. “I’m not interested in how people move,” Bausch famously said. “I’m interested in what makes them move.” In Wenders’ film, the viewer is placed not only inside the space of that movement but into the feeling that animates it. Pina is, in fact, the most emotionally affecting film I saw last year. PG. MATTHEW KORFHAGE. Living Room Theaters.
Project X
43 Aimed squarely at horny highschoolers and the dudes they will inevitably become (that is, grown-ass men who drink Bud, jerk off to Maxim and brag about all the pussy they pulled in high school), Project X shoots for party-movie immortality by depicting a bash that mutates from small gathering to full-scale riot. For a short while it works, with Oliver Cooper playing Jonah Hill to Thomas Mann’s Michael Cera in the story of losers looking to get laid by throwing a kegger. Whereas most teen movies climax at the bash, pretty much the entirety of Project X is set amid the debauchery, with the found-footage shtick (ugh) lending a genuine sense of chaos. Like a real drug-fueled rampage, director Nima Nourizadeh composes his film as a series of fleeting images: a cacophony of tits, garden gnomes, liquor shots, strobe lights, a cock-punching midget and other insanity. Trouble is, the party is populated solely by unsympathetic dickheads and the moral—that popularity and happiness can be bought with drugs and disorderly conduct—is frighteningly irresponsible. Most egregious, though, is how dull the chaos is eventually rendered. Like a drunken memory, Project X is just a jumble of disjointed, blurry ideas thrown up on a screen. R. AP KRYZA. Cedar Hills, Lloyd Center, Cornelius, Oak Grove, Pioneer Place, City Center, Division, Evergreen, Hilltop, Movies on TV, Sherwood, Wilsonville, Sandy.
Safe House
39 The wily, wryly sagacious version of Denzel Washington born in Training Day reached full absurd maturity in Unstoppable and fossilized soon after, when Saturday Night Live newcomer Jay Pharoah’s devastating impression nailed the magic tics that make latter-day Denzel tick. (YouTube it. It is funny and frightening.) The seemingly effortless creation of a second self somehow doesn’t look so effortless once someone else has made it seem easy, and so Denzel’s irascible rascal mode now registers as the mugging of a skilled impostor (see: De Niro, Bob and Pacino, Alfredo). Which isn’t to say watching Washington do his popcorn-movie thing is an utterly
SIX FEET UNDER THE INFLUENCE: Ed Helms and Jason Segel.
JEFF, WHO LIVES AT HOME The title tells you a lot about what sort of movie this might be: downtrodden, acerbic, commuting between office parks and Mom’s basement. And for the first 45 minutes, it confirms those suspicions in spades. In fact, Jeff, Who Lives at Home begins to feel like the apotheosis of the festival-shopped indie comedy. It’s directed by the Duplass brothers (The Puffy Chair, Cyrus), who are more famed for spasmodic camera zooms than for any jokes. It features Hollywood clowns who’ve scrubbed off all their greasepaint to show the troubled lines on their faces. The larger film, actually, feels scoured with whatever industrial solvent they use at the end of the day in Hooters restrooms. Jason Segel plays Jeff, Baton Rouge bong aficionado and holy fool. It often seems like he’s using acting tips garnered from one of the more slack-jawed, tattered Muppets: Sweetums, say. Ed Helms, as his goateed brother Pat, is merely doing a Danny McBride imitation and, as much as I love Eastbound & Down, I don’t think we need a second Danny McBride. They are paired on an adventure—well, Jeff sees it as an adventure; Pat sees it as an aggravation and then a crisis—because Jeff answers what he contends is a cosmically significant wrongnumber call for somebody called Kevin, while Pat has sussed that his wife (the perpetually underused Hope Davis) is cheating on him. This requires inept tailing missions, with Jeff riding the back of a passing truck. They get calls from their mother, Sharon (Susan Sarandon), who is exasperated and has maybe built a life on expecting exasperation. Then the movie makes an unlikely pirouette, and becomes something bewitching and lovely. It makes the switch in two moves. “This is not how I imagined my life was going to be,” says Sharon, daubing her eyes beneath a hand dryer. Her friend, played by half-forgotten ’80s star Rae Dawn Chong, offers an unexpected reply: “How did you imagine it?” It’s that second line that I found seismically affecting. Are Mark and Jay Duplass suggesting, after all this grungy stasis, that some kind of change is possible? They are, and the movie walks boldly through that door. It engages in the sort of freed wish-fulfillment Charlie Kaufman half-parodied in the last reel of Adaptation. This, too, is a case of cerebral filmmakers, usually too wised-up to trust the escapist power of movies, briefly dropping their defenses. The movie’s final 20 minutes, which redeem all the failed comedy that came before, aren’t really comedy at all, but a kind of poetic ecstasy. The movie refuses to be defined by expectations. Like Jeff, it jumps onto what passes through and gets carried away. R. AARON MESH. We need to stalk about Kevin.
77 SEE IT: Jeff, Who Lives at Home opens Friday at Fox Tower and Clackamas.
MOVIES
2011
KIM S
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KIM SCAFURO
MARCH 14-20
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ful men, and they know if they were stranded in the wilderness with this woman, they could all rub their chins together and start a fire. PG-13. AARON MESH. Cedar Hills, Cinetopia Mill Plain, Cornelius, Division, Evergreen, Hilltop, Movies on TV, Sherwood, Tigard, Wilsonville, Sandy.
Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy
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23 British author John le Carré
answered James Bond fantasy with his realistic sense of class 2011 politics and moral disillusionment in a faded empire. His 1974 novel, Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, POK POK BLOODY MARY RAMOS GIN FIZZ filled six hours when the BBC Whiskey Soda Lounge Teardrop Lounge adapted it for television. In this version, a mere two hours are supposed to convey agent George Smiley’s search for a Soviet mole Willamette Week’s complete guide to nightlife in Portland. among his colleagues at MI6, or COFFEE AVIATION ZOMBIE “the Circus.” Because the English SPANISH Local Lounge Vintage Gold Dust Meridian actors look distinctive, you can NEW almost follow the plot, beginning [ONE NIGHT ONLY] A quarterly with Mark Strong as a fellow agent program of short films by local who gets ambushed in Budapest. directors. Hollywood Theatre. 7 pm Before we know anything about Saturday, March 17. the guy, we’re expected to fear for his life because the film’s director, Tomas Alfredson (Let the Right One In), turns up the earthquake Don’t go in the basement, sound effects. Like many young Elizabeth Olsen! They’re keeping boys, Alfredson seems enamored Arvo Part down there! Not THE ALBERTA NEGRONI DEAD WEATHER with the movies of David Fincher, Branch Clyde Common Cruzroom screened for critics. R. Cedar Hills, in which pale, paranoid men disCornelius, City Center, Division, cover horrible corpses, and all the Evergreen, Hilltop, Movies on TV, politics and emotions of adult life Sherwood, Tigard, Wilsonville, have conveniently taken place off Sandy. POK POK BLOODY MARY GROUNDED FOR LIFE RAMOS GIN FIZZ camera. This English spy version Beaker and Flask Teardrop Lounge disingenuous. R.Whiskey Soda Lounge is especially ALISTAIR ROCKOFF. Hollywood 35 This is the story of two secret Theatre, Mission. SPANISH COFFEE AVIATION agents. They are best friends. Local Lounge Vintage They are terrible secret agents, NEW though the movie seems only dimly aware of this. After all, it is directed by McG, whose idea of [ONE WEEK ONLY, REVIVAL] A spycraft in Charlie’s Angels: Full celebration of the 50-year anniThrottle included a bikini car wash. versary of the moments when we Anyway, the agents meet a girl ended racism and were defeated and they decide they will compete by commies. Cinema 21. To Kill for her, but in a friendly way, a Mockingbird screens at 4:15 because nothing is more imporand 9:15 pm and The Manchurian tant than the two of them staying Candidate screens at 7 pm Fridaybest friends. Forever. And fighting Thursday, March 16-22. crime. People complain Hollywood NEW is making movies for 13-yearolds. Well, This Means War is pin89 [ONE NIGHT ONLY, TV pointed at someone around the REVIVAL] The really incredible age of 9 1/2. It contains no small thing about Twin Peaks is that parts anyone could choke on. Chris two decades after it aired, despite Pine (Kirk in the Star Trek reboot) having all its tricks stolen by The and Tom Hardy (some muscular X-Files and Lost and its memory person in Inception) play the spies. desecrated by The Killing, despite THE ALBERTA NEGRONI Pine affects a magnetic facetiousRayCOFFEE Wise, Kyle MacLachlan andAVIATION SPANISH ZOMBIE Branch Clyde Common ness and Hardy a wounded gentilDana Ashbrook having made Lounge Vintage Gold Dust Meridian ity, while both also seem somewhat Local careers out of parodying their charmentally incapacitated by a car acters on the show, David Lynch’s accident or something. The object exercise in testing the limits of of their rival advances (and wirenetwork television still has the tapping) is Reese Witherspoon, power to occupy our nightmares. who is less relaxed with each Leland Palmer crooning “Mairzy movie—a difficult feat, considering Doats,” the muttering Log Lady, she started out playing Tracy Flick. But you can see where the attraction kicks in. These are resourceCONT. on page 48
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vation of unfairness to broad political fusillade. With Panahi a political prisoner, that mantle falls to Asghar Farhadi, whose A Separation is rightly favored for the Best Foreign Language Film Oscar. This sounds like a downer, as does the plot: A marriage is all over but the shouting, and there’s a lot of shouting. But the movie is riveting, even exhilarating. Farhadi tracks the fallout between Simin and Nader (Leila Hatami and Peyman Moadi) as it extends to the pregnant caretaker (Sareh Bayat) whom Nader distractedly hires for his Alzheimer’s-stricken father. The film watches each character’s mixed motivations as if preparing a legal brief. Indeed, all the players are soon arguing to a beleaguered magistrate who longs for his teatime. PG-13. AARON MESH. Hollywood Theatre, Fox Tower.
HOFBRÄU HELLES Beaker and Flask
Prost!
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Shortlandia
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This Means War
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the dancing dwarf in the red room, any appearance by BOB—these are horrors as yet unmatched. And now you can see them as they were never intended, two episodes every Wednesday on the big screen, with beer. BEN WATERHOUSE. Hollywood Theatre. Episodes 2 and 3 screen at 9:30 pm Wednesday, March 14.
The Vow 22 The amnesia plot was a chestnut by 1961, when Walker Percy noted in The Moviegoer that it was a potentially useful cliché, what with providing the protagonist an opportunity to taste the world existentially afresh. The problem with The Vow, an unusually tear-duct-shriveling weepie, is that Rachel McAdams does not begin anew after a car windshield erases her memory. She just becomes the sorority-girl twit she was five years before she met Channing Tatum and fell into the kind of ardent, spiritually entwined love proved by hot-boxing with each other’s farts. (Reading over this last sentence, I see there are several problems with The Vow, but let’s stick with the main one.) McAdams is a savant of the sulky and vacant, and this role—which tries to re-create the final manipulation of The Notebook for more than an hour—hews so fast to those qualities that the movie feels closer to horror than romance. Imagine spending your life trying to get a sympathetic emotion out of this girl! She is upstaged by Tatum, who is upstaged by his Panama hat. The only object in the movie that provides any pleasure at all is Sam Neill, playing a diabolical father with a terrible secret, which is actually not so terrible when you consider that it mostly has negative consequences for Rachel McAdams, and who is she again?. PG-13. AARON MESH. Cedar Hills, Division, Evergreen, Movies on TV, Sherwood.
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32 W.E. begins with a miscarriage.
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Not much changes. Madonna’s sophomore outing as director is a drearily muddled, poorly edited biopic about Wallis Simpson, for whom King Edward VIII (played by a hilariously appropriately named James D’Arcy) abdicated the British throne in 1936. The romantic shattering of an empire is apparently not an interesting enough story on its own, however, and so it is framed in the dreamy obsessions of a dull-faced, present-day socialite namesake (Abbie Cornish) with a violent, impotent husband and a serious fetish for Sotheby’s antiques. It’s sort of a Julie & Julia for the unhappy social climber
set—let’s call it Wallie & Wally. Wallis No. 2 spends the whole movie fondling the auctioned jewelry of Wallis No. 1 (a charming, if pinched, Andrea Riseborough) and slipping into schizophrenic fugues in which she imagines the uncomfortable courtship that made W & E the scandalous romance of the century. Turns out, the deep sacrifice Wallis Simpson made by dumping her earnestly devoted husband for a dashing prince is a suitable metaphor for domestic abuse—after all, the press can be so cruel. Wallis No. 2’s romance with the Russian security guard who stalks her provides the perfunctory happy ending that history does not, but little can save the movie—especially not an inexplicable sequence in which a Benzedrine-fueled Simpson jitterbugs to the Sex Pistols with an African woman, in an apparent (and appropriate) allusion to Sofia Coppola’s entire entitled, misguided oeuvre. Forget the king: God save us all. R. MATTHEW KORFHAGE. Fox Tower.
Wanderlust
74 The Apatow dirty-improv era
has yielded two directors who are, if not auteurs, at least distinctive comedic sensibilities. One is Adam McKay (Anchorman, Step Brothers). The other is David Wain (Wet Hot American Summer, Role Models). McKay’s hallmark is the non sequitur; Wain specializes in a joke repeated so often it becomes a ritual. (No surprise that his own paragons are from the Catskills.) Wain’s absurdist litany is in fine effect in Wanderlust, a surprisingly frisky winter diversion that reunites most of the Wet Hot cast for another campout—this time at a hippie commune outside Atlanta. Leftist pieties get an affectionate skewering (this is the movie to see after an Occupy Portland G.A.), but then every form of moral posturing does: The very best bits feature co-writer Ken Marino as a khakiclad Joe the Plumber manqué barely masking his racism and rage with backslapping humor. Jennifer Aniston is game and lithe as she adjusts to “intentional living,” but the movie belongs to Paul Rudd, a perpetually likable actor who here finds depths of priggishness and insecurity he’s never displayed before. He gives himself a mock-macho pep talk in front of a mirror as breathtakingly plastic as his epic lunchroom sulk in Wet Hot American Summer. He should work with Wain again and again and again. R. AARON MESH. Lloyd Center, Cedar Hills, Forest, Oak Grove, Fox Tower, Tigard.
MARCH 16-22
MOVIES
NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium
BREWVIEWS
1219 SW Park Ave., 503221-1156 VALHALLA RISING Fri-Sat 09:00 BRONSON Fri-Sun 05:00 DRIVE Sat-Sun 07:00
“JONAH HILL AND CHANNING TATUM ARE THE PERFECT COMEDY DUO.” Ed Douglas, COMINGSOON.NET
Pioneer Place Stadium 6
BETAMAX: The most lucid movie ever made about the links between technology, pornography and that shriveled organ called the conscience, David Cronenberg’s Videodrome is no less traumatizing in the age of RedTube. The key is in James Woods. (Actually, a lot of things wind up in James Woods: a VHS tape, several arms and a gun.) His alarm at developing new orifices with each S&M viewing is muted by his reptilian gratification: He’s calm because he’s turned on, in every sense. Like most of Cronenberg’s work, this Toronto tumor gallery (presented by my BAM series) is about how sex means never having to say you’re sorry. Showing at: Laurelhurst. Best paired with: New Belgium Biere de Mars. Also showing: Hugo (Academy, Kennedy School, Laurelhurst, St. Johns, Valley). Kennedy School Theater
807 Lloyd Center 10 and IMAX
1510 NE Multnomah Blvd., 800-326-3264 THE HUNGER GAMES FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed JOHN CARTER: THE IMAX EXPERIENCE Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:45, 03:55, 07:10, 10:20 21 JUMP STREET Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:20, 12:50, 03:10, 03:45, 06:50, 07:20, 09:35, 10:05 CASA DE MI PADRE Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:30, 02:45, 05:05, 07:40, 10:10 JOHN CARTER 3D Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:05, 06:40 JOHN CARTER Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 03:15, 09:50 DR. SEUSS’ THE LORAX 3D Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:00, 02:20, 04:40, 07:00, 09:20 DR. SEUSS’ THE LORAX Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:35, 02:55, 05:15, 07:35, 09:55 PROJECT X Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:10, 02:30, 04:50, 07:25, 09:45 WANDERLUST Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:25, 02:50, 05:20, 07:50, 10:15 HUGO 3D Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 12:40, 03:35, 06:35, 09:40 LA PHIL LIVE: GUSTAVO DUDAMEL AND HERBIE HANCOCK CELEBRATE GERSHWIN Sun 02:00 MATTHEW BOURNE’S SWAN LAKE IN 3D Tue 07:30
Bagdad Theater and Pub 3702 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 503-249-7474 HAROLD AND MAUDE FriSat 10:30 WE BOUGHT A ZOO Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 06:00 THE DESCENDANTS Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 08:50
Cinema 21
616 NW 21st Ave., 503-2234515 TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD Fri-Wed 04:15, 09:15 THE MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE Fri-Wed 07:00
Clinton Street Theater
2522 SE Clinton St., 503238-8899 BETTER THAN SOMETHING: JAY REATARD Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 09:15 THE DESCENDANTS Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 07:00 THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW Sat 12:00
Lake Twin Cinema
106 N State St., 503-6355956 THE ARTIST Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 05:30, 07:40 THE IRON LADY Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 05:00, 07:15
Mission Theater and Pub 1624 NW Glisan St., 503249-7474 ARCTIC MAN: THE MOVIE Fri 08:30 THE DESCENDANTS Fri-SatSun-Wed 02:30, 07:55 RAMPART Sat-Wed 05:30 TINKER TAILOR SOLDIER SPY Sat-Sun-Wed 10:10 NO FILMS SHOWING TODAY Mon-Tue
Moreland Theatre
6712 SE Milwaukie Ave., 503236-5257 DR. SEUSS’ THE LORAX Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 05:30, 07:25
Mt. Hood Theatre
401 E. Powell Blvd., 503665-0604 WAR HORSE Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 07:00 SHERLOCK HOLMES: A GAME OF SHADOWS FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 09:15
Roseway Theatre
7229 NE Sandy Blvd., 503282-2898 JOHN CARTER Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 01:30, 04:45, 08:00 THE HUNGER GAMES
CineMagic Theatre
2021 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 503-231-7919 THE ARTIST Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 05:30, 07:40
5736 NE 33rd Ave., 503249-7474 HUGO Fri-Sat-SunMon-Wed 05:30 THE DESCENDANTS Fri-SunMon-Wed 08:05 THE SECRET OF ROAN INISH Sat 05:30 WAKING NED DEVINE Sat 07:45 LEPRECHAUN Sat 09:45 THE ADVENTURES OF TINTIN Tue-Wed 02:30
Hollywood Theatre
4122 NE Sandy Blvd., 503281-4215 THE FP Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 09:30 A SEPARATION Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 07:00 THE IRON LADY Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 07:15, 09:15 TINKER TAILOR SOLDIER SPY Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 06:45 THE NEVERENDING STORY Sat 02:00 SHORTLANDIA Sat 07:00 THE WALKING DEAD Sun 09:00 RELATION Sun 03:00 MEAN STREETS PDX: A HISTORY OF B-MOVIES FILMED IN PORTLAND Tue 07:30 TWIN PEAKS Wed 09:30
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846 SW Park Ave., 800326-3264 JEFF, WHO LIVES AT HOME Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 12:45, 02:45, 04:50, 07:00, 09:40 W.E. Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:05, 02:35, 05:05, 07:35, 10:05 BEING FLYNN FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:25, 02:55, 05:25, 07:50, 10:10 FRIENDS WITH KIDS Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:30, 02:50, 05:10, 07:30, 09:55 IN DARKNESS FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:35, 04:05, 07:05, 10:00 A SEPARATION Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:40, 04:10, 07:10, 09:45 THE ARTIST Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 12:15, 02:25, 04:55, 07:25, 09:35 THE IRON LADY Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 12:00, 02:20, 04:45, 07:15, 09:30 THE DESCENDANTS Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:10, 02:40, 05:15, 07:45, 10:10 WANDERLUST Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 12:20, 02:30, 05:20, 07:40, 09:50
340 SW Morrison St., 800326-3264 THE HUNGER GAMES FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 21 JUMP STREET Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 01:40, 04:30, 07:40, 10:20 A THOUSAND WORDS Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 01:10, 04:10, 07:10, 09:50 JOHN CARTER 3D Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 01:00, 04:15, 07:20, 10:25 PROJECT X Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 01:50, 04:40, 07:15, 09:25 DR. SEUSS’ THE LORAX 3D Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 04:00, 07:00 DR. SEUSS’ THE LORAX Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 01:30, 09:40 ACT OF VALOR Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 01:20, 04:20, 07:30, 10:10
St. Johns Pub and Theater
8203 N. Ivanhoe St., 503249-7474 HUGO Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 06:00 THE DESCENDANTS Fri-SatMon-Tue-Wed 01:00, 08:45
Cinetopia Mill Plain 8 11700 SE 7th St., 877-6082800 21 JUMP STREET Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:00, 02:40, 05:20, 08:00, 10:35 DR. SEUSS’ THE LORAX 3D Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:10, 02:20, 04:40, 07:10, 09:25 JOHN CARTER 3D Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 01:00, 04:00, 07:00, 10:00 ACT OF VALOR Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:05, 02:35, 05:10, 07:50, 10:25 THIS MEANS WAR Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 01:15, 03:50, 06:20, 09:00 SAFE HOUSE Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 12:30, 03:30, 06:20, 09:20
Valley Theater
9360 SW BeavertonHillsdale Highway, 503-2966843 THE ADVENTURES OF TINTIN Fri-Sat-Wed 05:40 THE DESCENDANTS FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 08:00 THE MUPPETS Fri 03:40 RED TAILS Fri-Sat-Wed 05:55 THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 08:25 HUGO FriSat-Wed 06:10 MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE -- GHOST PROTOCOL Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 08:45
Living Room Theaters
341 SW 10th Ave., 971-2222010 THE FORGIVENESS OF BLOOD Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 12:00, 02:20, 05:00, 07:30, 09:50 THE CONQUEST Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 12:20, 06:35, 09:20 ALBERT NOBBS Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 01:50, 05:10 THE SECRET WORLD OF ARRIETTY Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:10, 02:40, 04:50 PINA 3D Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 11:40, 02:00, 04:20, 06:45, 09:00 A DANGEROUS METHOD Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:45, 02:50, 04:15, 07:40, 09:40 CHRONICLE Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 02:30, 09:55 HUGO 3D Fri-Wed 11:50, 04:30, 07:15, 09:35 SUBJECT TO CHANGE. CALL THEATERS OR VISIT WWEEK.COM/MOVIETIMES FOR THE MOST UP-TODATE INFORMATION
COLUMBIA PICTURES AND METRO-GOLDWYN-MAYER PICTURES PRESENT IN ASSOCIATION WITH RELATIVITY MEDIA AN ORIGINAL FILM/CANNELL STUDIOS PRODUCTION “21 JUMP STREET” BRIE LARSON DAVE FRANCO ROB RIGGLE EXECUTIVE WITH ICE CUBE MUSICBY MARK MOTHERSBAUGH PRODUCERS JONAHSTORYHILL CHANNING TATUM EZRA SWERDLOW TANIA LANDAU BASED ON THE TELEVISION SCREENPLAY SERIES CREATED BY PATRICK HASBURGH & STEPHEN J. CANNELL BY MICHAEL BACALL & JONAH HILL BY MICHAEL BACALL PRODUCED DIRECTED BY NEAL H. MORITZ STEPHEN J. CANNELL BY PHIL LORD & CHRISTOPHER MILLER STARTS FRIDAY, MARCH 16
CHECK LOCAL LISTINGS FOR THEATERS AND SHOWTIMES
SEE IT ON A BIG SCREEN
FRIDAY-THURSDAY, MARCH 16-22, UNLESS OTHERWISE INDICATED
Willamette Week MARCH 14, 2012 wweek.com
49
2 COL. (3.825") X 12" = 24" WED 3/14 PORTLAND WILLAMETTE WEEK
PAID ADVERTISEMENT
I, Bruce Peek, do not speak for TriMet management. Recently, TriMet management told the Portland City Club employee benefit costs will drive the agency under. Management conveniently forgot about the bond payments slated to go from 9 million to 30 million dollars next year. The City Club discussion and debate followed the usual elitist Portland pattern of insanely inaccurate alarmist claims. For example: Management claims average employee benefit cost is $18,000 a year and that we are all paid way too much. The TRUTH: TriMet drivers make $25.13 an hour. Our peers all make more than we do. Seattle drivers make $28.47 an hour. San Francisco drivers make $29.50 an hour. UPS drivers make $28.17 an hour. And none of them has to pay for their own benefits. TriMet management told the City Club average benefit cost is $18,000 a year. Yet TriMet’s own Benefit Statement lists the most expensive plan in my case at $10,000 a year — or $837 a month. Add on three weeks vacation — but subtract 2 weeks unpaid sick pay — and you get $11,000 dollars a year. That’s about 40% less than management claims. Because TriMet’s 285 minirunners have always paid part of their dependent benefits, it is easy to see that the claimed $18,000-dollar-a-year average employee benefit cost is bogus. For that to be true, every employee would have to have 3 dependents and 6 weeks vacation. RETIREMENT: We do not get PERS. We get a defined benefit pension of $7,300 a year after 10 years. We have to wait 10 years for retirement to vest. Teachers, Cops, Firefighters, and Grocery Checkers vest for retirement after 5 years. SAFETY: Our at-fault accident rate is one fourth of one per cent. Out of roughly 1,000 drivers per day we have 4 at-fault accidents. This is despite the fact that a byzantine management committee recently was caught end-running the accident review process and automatically determining all new hire accidents to be preventable. OH, I FORGOT: Seattle Bus drivers are getting a 4% cost of living raise, which brings their pay to $29.60 an hour. We have not gotten our COLA for 2 and one-half years. That’s probably why Management has followed the elitist Portland pattern of having a debate and discussion with itself, going on Channel 8 to play softball with unknowledgeable new anchors — and very pointedly making sure that an inaccurate and untrue version of the contract dispute is presented. ONCE AGAIN: In order to keep from being fired I need to say that I do not speak for TriMet management. THANK YOU, Bruce Peek A NOTE OF EXPLANATION FROM BRUCE PEEK: I have taken out this ad, defending our members, because I am running for Union Vice President. I am the only one defending our membership.I do not have a 6-point program. That’s because I am running for Union Vice President, not philosopher king. I do not want to establish a reconciliation commission. That’s because I am running for Union Vice President, not resident theologian. I do want to turn the family dynasty leadership out of office and recruit new shop stewards and grow them into the next set of leadership. We must also re-establish our support with the public. To do this I will stay two terms and leave. One term, and the family dynasty leadership types will simply outwait us. No one else has defended our membership from the current two-year-long elitist management attack machine and their media allies. If we have to boycott and picket The Oregonian and its advertisers, so be it. If we have to picket and place protest letters in the public files of local television stations, so be it. The local media needs to tell the truth and stop the slander campaign. Thank you. 50
WillametteWeek Classifieds MARCH 14, 2012 wweek.com
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WELLNESS
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STUFF
51
SERVICES
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53
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53
MUSICIANS’ MARKET
53
MOTOR
54 PETS
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MATCHMAKER
MARCH 14, 2012
52
53
JONESIN’
54 GETAWAYS & RENTALS
54
CLEANING
TREE SERVICES
503-445-3647 • ahorton@wweek.com
WELLNESS
SERVICES
BODYWORK
BUILDING/REMODELING
MAN-TO-MAN BODYWORK.
Steve Greenberg Tree Service
14 years experience, Many styles including Tantric. 503-771-5299. Hands4youmassage@aol.com
Pruning and removals, stump grinding. 24-hour emergency service. Licensed/ Insured. CCB#67024. Free estimates. 503-284-2077
MANSCAPING
Bodyhair grooming M4M. Discrete quality service. 503-841-0385 by appointment.
ALTERATIONS/SEWING
COACHING
Spiderweb Sewing Studio
Totally Relaxing Massage
MASSAGE (LICENSED) (LMT#10773)
Partner with Success Life Coaching
Featuring Swedish, deep tissue and sports techniques by a male therapist. Conveniently located, affordable, and preferring male clientele at this time. #5968 By appointment 503.575.0356
ROLFING www.embodyfreedom rolfing.com
Janhavi Mercury McKenzie coaching@janhavimckenzie.com
Gina Marie Purl Certified Advanced Rolfer 541-543-6211 Lic#10112
541-505-2528 COUNSELING Take care of yourself! Relieve stress, pain, sore muscles. Monday–Saturday, 9–6:
ELIXIA WELLNESS 503.232.5653 $10 off for new clients Free consultation & Yon-ka skin care sample with ad! Sundays: COMMON
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Body balancing by use of Massage and Energy Work. Adam Roberts LMT#7811. 503-806-6285
CARPETS Rain or Shine Carpet Cleaning
-Truck Mounted Steam*Special: 3 rooms for $99 up to 200sq/ft per room CALL TODAY! TO RECEIVE ONE FREE ROOM! 503-453-3989
BILL PEC • Competitive Bodybuilding • Strength Training • Body Shaping • Nutrition Counseling
We Care
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(503)
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LANDSCAPING Bernhard’s Professional MaintenanceComplete yard care, 20 years. 503-515-9803. Licensed and Insured.
ROOFING/GUTTERS TAI CHI
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MILLS HANDYMAN AND REMODELING
Personal Trainer & Fitness Consultant
INDULGE YOURSELF in an - AWESOME FULL BODY MASSAGE
call
503.750.6586 custom sewing quilt making leather home decor apparel alterations
•Upholstery Cleaning •Airduct Cleaning •Dryer Vent Cleaning •Wood Floor Cleaning •Carpet Stretching & Repair •Area Rug Cleaning
PHYSICAL FITNESS
GET A MASSAGE!
Affordable Rates • No-cost Initial Consult www.stephenshostek.com
FREE WILL ASTROLOGY JOBS
7-session course Saturdays 10 am $90 Special Price
Includes FREE Roots & Branches DVD
Moss removal from roofs, gutter cleaning & power washing. www.jimmaintenance.com Call 503-432-9537 Insured
SEE MORE PETS PG. 54
Viscount Dance Studio ~724 E. Burnside www.TaiChiPortland.com 503 222-2289
CMY
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8 FILE FOLDER FEATURE 9 LIKE A CROOKED SMILE
10 EXCLAMATION AFTER TRYING ON OLD CLOTHES, MAYBE
ACROSS 1 GORDIE ON THE ICE 5 CIRCUS PERFORMANCE
MORE PERSONALS ONLINE: wweek.com
8 MO-RONS 13 “GIVE IT ___, WILL YA?” 15 “___ DAY” (HIPHOP SINGLE OF 1993) 16 THREEPIO’S BUDDY 17 SPRING CHICKEN 18 “LOST” ACTOR DANIEL ___ KIM 19 OVERWHELMINGLY 20 AIRLINE RESERVATION
22 CALLIGRAPHY NEED 24 SUFFIX FOR MCCARTHY
25 CLUE FOR THE NORTHWEST CORNER
30 ASSISTANCE 31 ACTOR GULAGER OF TV WESTERNS 32 WIPE OUT 33 CLUE FOR THE SOUTHWEST CORNER
37 ___ GOBI (INDIAN POTATO DISH) 38 KILMER WHO PLAYED JIM MORRISON AND BATMAN 39 “___ TRIES ANYTHING” (ANI DIFRANCO SONG) 43 CLUE FOR THE NORTHEAST CORNER
48 ___ WAIT (PREPARE
TO AMBUSH) 50 PAI ___ (“KILL BILL” TUTOR) 51 ___ BRAN 52 CLUE FOR THE SOUTHEAST CORNER
56 LATERAL START 57 BARBED WIRE TATTOO SPOT
58 “THE LION KING” BAD GUY
59 MORE BIZARRE 62 EVENT THAT MAKES A CEO RICH(ER) 64 SIGN MESSAGE AT FOOTBALL GAMES
67 “THE ABSINTHE DRINKER ” PAINTER 68 SPORT-___, AKA
11 PERFECTLY 12 MORE MIFFED 14 SIMPLE ROOFING
36 CAMERA EFFECT 40 GUIDE TO GETTING AROUND A MALL
41 GET WIND OF 42 PUNTA DEL ___, URUGUAY 44 STARTED THE PILOT 45 “ORINOCO FLOW (SAIL AWAY)” SINGER 46 FIELD JUDGES 47 BARTON OF “THE O.C.” 48 “ED WOOD” OSCAR WINNER MARTIN 49 STATEMENT OF DENIAL
52 IL ___ (CATHEDRAL OF FLORENCE) 53 TOYOTA HYBRID 54 LIKE SOME THREATS 55 ACTRESS ELG OF “LES GIRLS” (HIDDEN IN MAINTAINABLE) 60 ALWAYS, IN POETRY 61 HWY. 63 LARGE BRITISH REF. BOOK
MATERIAL
21 REGISTER TRAY 23 “HOOKED ON CLASSICS” RECORD COMPANY IN OLD TV ADS 25 EXPLORER VASCO DA ___ 26 IRAN’S CURRENCY 27 ___ YORK (NYC, TO SOME RESIDENTS) 28 FORMER NOTRE DAME COACH PARSEGHIAN 29 THEY’RE HALF THE DIAMETER
34 MAKES DO 35 ___-T-POPS (“THE LOLLIPOP WITH THE LOOP”)
65 “WALKING ON THIN ICE” SONGWRITER YOKO 66 BIPOLAR DISORDER, FOR SHORT
LAST WEEK’S ANSWERS ©2011 JONESIN’ CROSSWORDS (EDITOR@JONESINCROSSWORDS.COM) FOR ANSWERS TO THIS PUZZLE, CALL: 1-900-226-2800, 99 CENTS PER MINUTE. MUST BE 18+. OR TO BILL TO YOUR CREDIT CARD, CALL: 1-800-655-6548. REFERENCE PUZZLE #JONZ563.
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WILLAMETTE WEEK’S GATHERING PLACE
ARIES (March 21-April 19): This week you may learn the real reason the tortoise beat the hare, why two of the three blind mice weren’t really blind, and the shocking truth about the relationship between Cinderella’s fairy godmother and the handsome prince. Myths will be mutating, Aries. Nursery rhymes will scramble and fairy tales will fracture. Thor, the god of thunder, may make a tempting offer to Snow White. The cow’s jump over the moon could turn out to have been faked by the CIA. An ugly duckling will lay an egg that Chicken Little claims is irrefutable proof the 2012 Mayan Apocalypse is imminent. Sounds like a rowdy good time for all! TAURUS (April 20-May 20): “Roots and wings. But let the wings grow roots and the roots fly.” That was written by Spanish poet Juan Ramon Jimenez, and now I’m passing it on to you. It will serve as a keynote for the turning point you’re about to navigate. In the coming weeks, you’ll generate good fortune by exposing your dark mysterious depths to the big bright sky; you’ll be wise to bring your soaring dreams down to earth for a pit stop. The highs need the influence of the lows, Taurus; the underneath will benefit from feeling the love of what’s up above. There’s one further nuance to be aware of, too: I think you will find it extra interesting to interweave your past with your future. Give your rich traditions a taste of the stories that are as-yet unwritten. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Is it possible you were a spider in a previous life? If so, please call on the abilities you developed back then. You need to create an extra big, super-fine web, metaphorically speaking, so that you can capture all the raw materials you will be needing in the coming weeks and months. If you’re not sure whether you are the reincarnation of a spider, then simply imagine you were. Stimulate daydreams in which you visualize yourself as a mover and shaker who’s skilled at snagging the resources and help you require. CANCER (June 21-July 22): British writer Kenneth Tynan asked a movie director about how he’d film an advancing army. Did it matter whether the action went from right to left across the frame or left to right? “Of course!” said the director. “To the Western eye, easy or successful movement is left to right, difficult or failed movement is right to left.” The director showed Tynan an illustrated book as evidence. On one page, a canoe shooting the rapids was going from left to right, while a man climbing a mountain was headed from right to left. Use this information to your benefit, Cancerian. Every day for the next two weeks, visualize yourself moving from left to right as you fulfill a dream you want to accomplish. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Hanadi Zakaria al-Hindi is the first Saudi Arabian woman to be licensed to fly a plane. But there’s an absurd law in her country that prohibits women from driving cars, so she needs a man to give her a lift to the airport. Is there any situation in your own life that resembles hers, Leo? Like maybe you’ve advanced to a higher level without getting certified on a lower level? Or maybe you’ve got permission and power to operate in a sphere that’s meaningful to you even though you skipped a step along the way? Now would be a good time to think about whether you should do anything about the discrepancy, and if so, how to do it. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Recent scientific studies have confirmed what Native American folklore reports: Badgers and coyotes sometimes cooperate with each other as they search for food. The coyotes are better at stalking prey above ground, and the badgers take over if the hunted animal slips underground. They share the spoils. I suggest you draw inspiration from their example, Virgo. Is there a person you know who’s skilled at a task you have trouble with and who could benefit from something you’re good at? It’s prime time to consider forming symbiotic relationships or seeking out unusual partnerships that play to both parties’ strengths. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): How did the Vikings navigate their ships through rough northern seas on cloudy and foggy days? Medieval texts speak of the
mysterious “sunstone,” a “Viking compass” used to detect the hidden sun. Modern theories suggest that this technology may have been Iceland spar, a mineral that polarizes light, making it useful in plotting a course under overcast skies. Do you have anything like that, Libra? A navigational aid that guides your decisions when the sun’s not out, metaphorically speaking? Now would be an excellent time to enhance your connection with whatever it is that can provide such power. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): If you set up two mirrors in just the right way, you can get a clear look at the back of your head. You’re able to see what your body looks like from behind. I suggest you try that exercise sometime soon. It will encourage your subconscious mind to help you discover what has been missing from your self-knowledge. As a result, you may be drawn to experiences that reveal things about yourself you’ve been resistant to seeing. You could be shown secrets about buried feelings and wishes that you’ve been hiding from yourself. Best of all, you may get intuitions about your soul’s code that you haven’t been ready to understand until now. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): According to my Sagittarius friend Jonathan Zap, the Greek playwright Aristophanes had an ambivalent attitude about divine blessings. He said that no great gift enters the human sphere without a curse attached to it. I’m sure you know this lesson well. One of last year’s big gifts has revealed its downside in ways that may have been confusing or deflating. But now here comes an unexpected plot twist, allowing you to add a corollary to Aristophanes’ formulation. Soon you will find a second blessing that was hidden within the curse in embryonic form. You’ll be able to tease it out, ripen it, and add it to the bounty of the original gift. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Writing in the science magazine Discover, Corey S. Powell says, “There’s an old joke: If you tell someone the universe is expanding, he’ll believe you. If you tell him there’s wet paint on the park bench, he’ll want to touch it to make sure.” In accordance with the astrological omens, Capricorn, I invite you to rebel against this theory. I think it’s quite important for you to demand as much proof for big, faraway claims as for those that are close at hand. Don’t trust anyone’s assertions just because they sound lofty or elegant. Put them to the test. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): It’s an excellent time to better appreciate your #@%(!) vexations and botherations. In fact, let’s go ahead and make this Honor Your #@%(!) Irritations and Annoyances Week. To properly observe this holiday, study the people and things that irk you so you can extract from them all the blessings and teachings they may provide. Are you too tolerant of an annoying situation that you need to pay closer attention to? Is it time to reclaim the power you’ve been losing because of an exasperating energy-drain? Does some jerk remind you of a quality you don’t like in yourself? Is there a valuable clue or two to be gleaned from a passive-aggressive provocateur? PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Seahorses have an unusual approach to reproduction. It’s the male of the species that cares for the eggs as they gestate. He carries them in a “brood pouch” on his front side. Of course it’s the female who creates the eggs in the first place. After analyzing the astrological factors coming to bear on your destiny, Pisces, I suspect you will benefit from having a seahorse-like quality in the coming weeks. Whatever gender you are, your archetypal masculine qualities should play an especially strong role as you nurture a project that’s in its early developmental phases.
Homework
What was the pain that healed you most? What was the pleasure that hurt you the worst? Testify at FreeWillAstrology.com.
check out Rob Brezsny’s Expanded Weekly Audio Horoscopes & Daily Text Message Horoscopes
freewillastrology.com
The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at
1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700
ADOPTION
SUPPORT GROUPS
Adoption
ALANON Sunday Rainbow
ADOPTION:
Got Meth Problems? Need Help?
Loving, stable family wishes to adopt an infant. Will provide a safe and happy home. Expenses paid. Please call Aric or Beth 1-800-549-6402. Active young stay-home-mom & successful dad, playful pup await miracle baby. Expenses paid David&Robyn 1-800-410-7542 PREGNANT? CONSIDERING ADOPTION? Talk with caring agency specializing in matching Birthmothers with Families nationwide. LIVING EXPENSES PAID. Call 24/7 Abby’s One True Gift Adoptions. 866-413-6293 (AAN CAN)
ANNOUNCEMENTS RUA WITNESS?
2 cyclists -1 driver, at 7 am, on 11/19/10 at NE Couch & Grand, heading W, right lane waiting for green light. White van in left lane; all went thru on green, white van broad sided by auto headed N on Grand. Cyclists cleared, maybe heard? driver was further back, maybe saw all? call DWM @ 503-278-9709 Gratitude expressed Monetarily.
EVENTS
5:15 PM meeting. G/L/B/T/Q and friends. Downtown Unitarian Universalist Church on 12th above Taylor. 503-309-2739.
Oregon CMA 24 hour Hot-line Number: 503-895-1311. We are here to help you! Information, support, safe & confidential!
HERPES?
Free support group meets monthly in NW Portland, First Fridays at 7:30pm. 503-727-2640, info: portlandareahelp@aol.com
MUSICIANS MARKET FOR FREE ADS in 'Musicians Wanted,' 'Musicians Available' & 'Instruments for Sale' go to portland.backpage.com and submit ads online. Ads taken over the phone in these categories cost $5.
INSTRUMENTS FOR SALE TRADE UP MUSIC - Buying, selling, instruments of every shape and size. Call 503-236-8800. Open 11am-7pm every day. 4701 SE Division & 1834 NE Alberta. www.tradeupmusic.com
MUSIC LESSONS
Familyautonetwork.com 2000 Honda S2000 45,045 Miles, Bright Red, Leather, 6 Speed, Great for Summer! $14,995 503-254-2886
KIA Familyautonetwork.com 2004 Kia Optima EX 114,000 Miles, Auto, Great MPG $5295 503-254-2886
MAZDA Familyautonetwork.com 2007 Mazda MAZDA6 61,001 Miles, Auto $11,995 503-254-2886
SATURN Familyautonetwork.com 1998 Saturn Wagon 115,000 Miles, 5 Speed $2995 503-254-2886
SUBARU Familyautonetwork.com 1997 Subaru Legacy 5 speed, Warranty $4495 503-254-2886
TOYOTA Familyautonetwork.com
Pacifica Warehouse Sale
OPEN Friday, March 16th from 11am-4pm. -Soy and Pillar Candles -Solid and Spray Perfumes -Body Butter and more Cash, Check or Credit Cards. Check it out at our warehouse: 3135 NW Industrial St. Portland 97210
HEALTH
ECT SURVIVORS
Alone we are unheard. Together we can stand and be counted. 503-537-0997. Ok to leave message.
LEGAL NOTICES Lien Forclosure
A public auction will be held on April 11, 2012 at 9am at 17949 Sandy Blvd Portland, Or 97230. To sell 16 pallets of bath soap/salts owned by Jell-E-Bath Inc., an Oregon corporation. For information 541-687-2191
LESSONS CLASSICAL PIANO/ KEYBOARD $15/Hour
Theory Performance. All levels. Portland 503-735-5953 and 503-989-5925.
MISCELLANEOUS IDOLATRY- 2:
There shall not be found among you, any one that makes his son or daughter pass through the Fire, or uses Divination [spirits], or an Observer of Times [Astrologer], or an Enchanter [spell caster], or a Witch, or a Charmer [hypnotist], or a consulter with familiar spirits [Seances], or a wizard [Sorceror, illegal drug user], or a necromancer! chapel@gorge.net
SECOND COMMANDMENT:
You shall have no other “gods” besides ME! For I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God! chapel@gorge.net
1993 Toyota Camry 4 cylinder, Auto, Warranty, $3795 503-254-2886
Familyautonetwork.com 1995 Toyota Avalon XLS Auto, Leather, One Owner, 93,000 Miles $5895 503-254-2886
Indian Music Classes with Josh Feinberg
Specializing in sitar, but serving all instruments and levels! 917-776-2801 www.joshfeinbergmusic.com Learn Jazz & Blues Piano with local Grammy winner Peter Boe. 503-274-8727. Passion for music? GUITAR/ VOICE/ BASS/ KEYBOARD/ THEORY/ SONGWRITING. Beginning and continuing students with performing recording artist, Jill Khovy. 503-833-0469. VOICE INSTRUCTION Anthony Plumer, Concert Artist/Voice Teacher. www.naturalvocalarts.com 503-299-4089.
MUSICIANS FOR HIRE Oops our bad! Due to technical difficulties all emails in response to our last ad were lost. Please respond, if you’re still interested to: veiomusic@live.com
WANTED:
GUITAR PLAYER Well-established Portland-area rock band in the realm of A Perfect Circle, Deftones, and 10 years is looking for a lead guitar player. Veio has one fully produced EP, and is currently in the studio finishing tracks for a full-length release in 2012. Candidates must be serious about gigging, touring, and practicing. The band is looking for an overall player that brings strength to the band, and can compliment the talent of its existing members. You must also have knowledge of the genre and fit the overall look and vibe of the band. Contact veiomusic@live.com
VOLVO Familyautonetwork.com 1994 Volvo 850 Wagon Leather, All Power, Warranty $3795 503-254-2886
JEEP Familyautonetwork.com 1986 Jeep Grand Wagoneer Auto, 4x4, 133,000 Miles $1995 503-254-2886
Familyautonetwork.com 2007 Jeep Grand Cherokee Limited, Trail Rated, Fully Loaded $19,995 503-254-2886
AUTOS WANTED CASH FOR CARS: Any Car/Truck. Running or Not! Top Dollar Paid. We Come To You! Call For Instant Offer: 1-888-420-3808 www.cash4car.com (AAN CAN)
An immediate audition will be setup.
WillametteWeek Classifieds MARCH 14, 2012 wweek.com
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TO PLACE AN AD CONTACT:
TRACY BETTS
503-445-2757 • tbetts@wweek.com
ASHLEE HORTON
503-445-3647 • ahorton@wweek.com
GETAWAYS
JOBS
ROCKAWAY BEACH
CAREER TRAINING OLCC Online Alcohol Server Permit Class $15 Bartender Tested ~ OLCC Approved @ www.happyhourtraining.com
GENERAL BARTENDING
$$300/day potential. No experience necessary. Training available. 800-965-6520 x206.
Changing the image of rescue, one animal at a time...
Interested in adopting from the Pixie Project
CALL 503.542.3433
RENTALS TINKERBELL
SUNNY
S P O N SO RED BY
S P ONSOR E D BY
CONDOS SE Sellwood condo for rent, very clean/quiet, charming 2 bedroom, fireplace, washer/ dryer, dishwasher, upgraded kitchen, new carpet, tile bathroom, small patio. Quiet community, close to buses, shopping. Very clean. No pets, no smoking. $725. 503-699-1308.
www.staypethotel.com
Looking for an exciting, fun work environment? McMenamins is now hiring Servers, Cooks, Catering, Hosts, Dishwashers, and Food Runners at Cornelius Pass Roadhouse in Hillsboro. Experience preferred. Flexible schedule required including days, evenings, weekends, and holidays. Apply online at www. mcmenamins.com or pick up an application at any McMenamins location and mail to McMenamins Attn: HR 430 N. Killingsworth Portland, OR 97217 or fax to 503 221-8749. No phone calls or emails. E.O.E.
Sales Help Wanted!
Luck O’ the Irish Promo
All stays in March receive a taste of the Green Isle. *Manzanita or Rockaway homes* *Ocean front/views* *Pet Friendly* *Wi-Fi, Woodstoves, TV/DVD and more* Call today for this offer www.northcoastbeachrentals.com 866.355.0733
McMenamins Cornelius Pass Roadhouse
Lighting Design & Consultation Accent Lighting in Lake Oswego Is seeking a professional lighting salesperson for their upscale showroom.
www.ExtrasOnly.com
Ability to read prints and do plan layouts would be great.
503.227.1098 Help Wanted!
Make money Mailing brochures from home! FREE Supplies! Helping Home-Workers since 2001! Genuine Opportunity! No experience required. Start Immediately! www.theworkhub.net (AAN CAN)
EMPLOYMENT OPPORTUNITIES
Full time position is Monday - Thursday and Saturdays. Please email resumes to
Lynn@accentlighting.com or mail to our showroom
$$$HELP WANTED$$$ Extra Income! Assembling CD cases from Home! No Experience Necessary! Call our Live Operators Now! 1-800-405-7619 EXT 2450 www.easyworkjobs.com (AAN CAN)
Accent Lighting 15794 Boones Ferry Rd. Lake Oswego, OR 97035
McMenamins MCMENAMINS’ GRAND LODGE IN FOREST GROVE IS LOOKING FOR A CATERING MANAGER! Applicants must have a fully flexible schedule including days, evenings, weekends, and holidays, catering experience, previous management experience, ability maintain a current Food Handlers and OLCC cards, and basic computer skills.
BOOMER
STELLA S P O N SO RED BY
S P O N SO R E D BY
www.petsonbroadway.com
www.antoinettejewelry.com
To apply visit www.mcmenamins.com or pick up an application at any McMenamins location and fax to 503-221-8749 with a cover letter that states which position you are applying for or mail it to McMenamins HQ Attn: HR 430 N Killingsworth St Portland OR 97217. To have an application mailed to you, call 503-952-0598.We are an equal opportunity employer!
PETS Pepper MADGE
S P O N SO RED BY
STELLA S P ONSOR E D BY
www.staypethotel.com
If you or your business would like to sponsor a pet in one of our upcoming Pet Showcases, contact: TRACY BETTS 503-445-2757 • ASHLEE HORTON 503-445-3647
Need to spice up your life? Check me out! My name is Pepper and if your life is feeling bland I will liven it right up! I am a 4 year old Chihuahua mix with a happy personality and a skip in my step! I full to the brim with love, for people, for dogs, for any experience life has to offer! Well, except maybe kitties, their nails are too sharp to love sometime…But besides that I make a great companion whether your are looking for a cuddle sesh or a delightful walk to smell the roses! I am crate trained, potty trained and ready for my forever home! Are you ready for me? If so fill out an application at pixieproject.org and send it in so we can schedule a meet and greet! I am fixed, vaccinated and microchipped. My adoption fee is $180. I am currently living in foster care. 503-542-3432 • 510 NE MLK Blvd • www.pixieproject.org
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WillametteWeek Classifieds MARCH 14, 2012 wweek.com
TO PLACE AN AD CONTACT:
TRACY BETTS
503-445-2757 • tbetts@wweek.com
ASHLEE HORTON
503-445-3647 • ahorton@wweek.com
ww presents
I M A D E T HIS
Incandescent, A Color Film Zine by Michael Cardiello, Marissa Csanyi, Helen Jones $30/zine [higher pledges get extra goods] Special edition inaugural issue available on Kickstarter until March 20th: www.kickstarter.com/ projects/incandescentzine/incandescent-a-color-film-zine
Submit your art to be featured in Willamette Week’s I Made This. For submission guidelines go to wweek.com/imadethis
WillametteWeek Classifieds MARCH 14, 2012 wweek.com
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