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WWEEK.COM
VOL 38/22 04.04.2012
P. 25
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Willamette Week APRIL 4, 2012 wweek.com
CONTENT
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Photo Events TALES FROM THE CRYPT: Death on display at Disjecta. Page 25.
NEWS
4
FOOD & DRINK
26
LEAD STORY
9
MUSIC
29
CULTURE
21
MOVIES
44
HEADOUT
23
CLASSIFIEDS
49
Editor-in-Chief Mark Zusman EDITORIAL Managing Editor for News Brent Walth Arts & Culture Editor Martin Cizmar Staff Writers Hannah Hoffman, Nigel Jaquiss, Corey Pein Copy Chief Rob Fernas Copy Editors Matt Buckingham, Kat Merck Assistant Arts & Culture Editor Ben Waterhouse Movies Editor Aaron Mesh Music Editor Casey Jarman Editorial Interns Penelope Bass, Kara Wilbeck CONTRIBUTORS Classical Brett Campbell Dance Heather Wisner Food Ruth Brown Visual Arts Richard Speer
PRODUCTION Production Manager Kendra Clune Art Director Ben Mollica Graphic Designers Adam Krueger, Brittany Moody, Dylan Serkin Production Interns Mike Grippi, Ivan Limongan ADVERTISING Director of Advertising Jane Smith Display Account Executives Sara Backus, Maria Boyer, Michael Donhowe, Greg Ingram, Janet Norman, Kyle Owens Classifieds Account Executives Ashlee Horton, Tracy Betts Advertising Assistant Ashley Grether Marketing and Events Manager Jess Sword Marketing and Promotions Intern Jeanine Gaitan Production Assistant Brittany McKeever
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ride more.
MAIN STORE 706 SE MARTIN LUTHER KING JR. BLVD / 503.233.5973 OUTLET STORE 534 SE BELMONT, 503.446.2205 / RIVERCITYBICYCLES.COM / OPEN EVERY DAY Willamette Week APRIL 4, 2012 wweek.com
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INBOX COMING CLEAN ON THE RIVER
The Superfund cleanup of the Willamette [“What the Muck?,” WW, March 28, 2012] is a critical step to making this river whole—and to protect the terrific investment of dollars upstream to improve how our dams pass native fish, and to improve habitat. In the months ahead, support for this cleanup will be needed, and it would seem that an informed public (helped in part by articles of this type) can help influence the discussion of the Willamette and how best to rid it of PCBs, heavy metals, breakdown products of DDT, and PAH. This is the next critical phase of ensuring that the Willamette River can be clean and function in a more natural condition. We have seen significant strides in the past during the [Tom] McCall era and before for clean water, and today habitat is on the mend as well (though much remains to be done). Now we need to rid the river, in its last few miles before the confluence with the Columbia, of a very significant, and toxic, problem. —Travis Williams Riverkeeper and executive director, Willamette Riverkeeper
bikegallery.com for more info
If the cleanup removes all of the toxic sediment from the harbor, it will be gone. Forever. Everyone breathes (and eats) easy and can die knowing they worked hard to do the right thing. If the cleanup leaves the toxic sediment alone and sequesters it with rocks and sand, the toxics still persist. There is absolutely NO guarantee the river won’t decide to pull the cap away and resuspend everything during a large flood. In that case, we will have still poured copious amounts of precious money into a “solution,” and remain
plagued by the pollution legacy as it continues to persist in our minds and bodies. Clean up the damn river, already! And do it right the first time so we don’t have to keep fighting and wasting everyone’s time, money and health. —“Mel Brown” Let’s see how many people are eating bottomfeeding fish. Divide $2 billion by that number. We’ll get a per-person cost to cleaning the [Superfund] site. I think it might surprise people how expensive this is going to be if we do it the most expensive way. —“Mark”
ELECTION DATING GAME
Kate Brown’s duplicity and/or incompetence is alarming [“Brown’s Labored Credibility,” WW, March 28, 2012]. Steve Trout should be fired immediately. He didn’t think the issue was more important than the routine filing of other candidates? How long would it have taken him to give Brown a heads-up? Something stinks in Salem. —“Burton” Of course Republicans are angry. They tried to game the system for an advantage, and they lost in court. The legislative council can say whatever it likes, but the statute is clear on its face about the November election date. — “Jexpat” LETTERS TO THE EDITOR must include the author’s street address and phone number for verification. Letters must be 250 or fewer words. Submit to: 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Fax: (503) 243-1115, Email: mzusman@wweek.com
think. see. teach. heal. pacificu.edu/discover
Recently you wrote about the lives saved by the hands-free cellphone law. Since we’re overpopulating and running out of resources, shouldn’t we stop trying to reduce deaths with laws like this? —Paul K.
A R T S & S C I E N C E S | O P T O M E T RY | E D U C AT I O N | H E A LT H P R O F E S S I O N S
800-677-6712 | admissions@pacificu.edu 4
Willamette Week APRIL 4, 2012 wweek.com
Jeez, Paul, you must be a riot at parties. Still, you have a point. It’s a point normally raised only by anti-environmentalists as a reductio ad absurdum of the whole conservation movement, but a point nonetheless: If you’re a true eco-Nazi, shouldn’t you be rooting for the demise of every dirty, wasteful human on the planet? Putting aside the ethical objections to your question (by your lights, Joseph Stalin should be president of the Sierra Club), we quickly encounter an even greater challenge: how to objectively calculate the value (or cost) to society at large of an average human’s existence. It’s not as though people haven’t tried. I myself have calculated that each American who can manage to avoid being born will save the atmosphere
from 1.7 million pounds of carbon. Meanwhile, the National Safety Council (betraying a blatant pro-human bias) has estimated that every traffic death costs the economy $1.3 million. We’re not even using the same units of measure! Politically speaking, the use of body count as the core driver of public policy is pretty much the definition of a tough sell. Even the folks who might be OK with a few hundred cellphone yakkers buying the farm each year will probably get queasy about all the innocent folks who would inevitably be dragged along for the ride. Still, if you’re serious about this everybodyout-of-the-pool approach to the human condition, check out the Voluntary Human Extinction Movement. Its leading journal, These EXIT Times, is based right here in Portland, and the VHEMT has spent years honing its response to the inevitable question, “Why don’t you kill yourself?” QUESTIONS? Send them to dr.know@wweek.com
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POLITICS: Doctors rush to run for office in Oregon. COVER STORY: Stop being broke: our personal-finance issue.
7 9
WE NEVER ADD SUGAR TO OUR PRODUCT. The coalition of property owners potentially on the hook for a Portland Harbor cleanup (see “What the Muck?,” WW, March 28, 2012) are pushing bargain-basement proposals. The companies say the proposals, ranging from $169 million to $398 million, would have “less impact on the community.” At best, about a quarter of the acreage of contaminated river sediment would be cleaned up. The Lower Willamette Group’s feasibility study is the result of 10 years and $96 million—including more than $24 million from city sewer ratepayers.
In bracket politics, you’d better respect the sports fans. That’s the takeaway from the Sweet 16 of Mayoral Madness, where Blazers broadcaster Mike Rice wiped the court with oncecocky radio host Victoria Taft (she beat Carrie Brownstein, after all). Rice now takes on Oscar-winner Timothy Hutton, who continued his Twitter campaign past Patty, the Magic Garden bartender. University of Portland soccer phenom Micaela Capelle used a push from a message board at Brigham Young University (the Mormon vote!) to defeat PHAME Academy director Stephen Marc Beaudoin. Capelle faces Pink Martini singer China Forbes, who managed a 12-vote victory over auteur Gus Van Sant. Blogger and professor Jack Bogdanski squares off against divorce lawyer Jody Stahancyk, while Columbia Sportswear “tough mother” Gert Boyle hopes to chop down famed outdoorsman Paul Bunyan. The 31-foot statue has declined to explain exaggerations in its résumé that claim it’s 37 feet tall. Back in real life.... Eileen Brady, Charlie Hales and Jefferson Smith, the BOYLE top three candidates for mayor of Portland, face off in a live televised debate sponsored by WW and KATU on Sunday, April 22, at 7 pm. The debate will be held at David Douglas Performing Arts Center, 1400 SE 130th Ave. To attend the debate, get your free tickets at KATU, 2153 NE Sandy Blvd., or at WW, 2220 NW Quimby St. Read more Murmurs and daily scuttlebutt. 6
Willamette Week APRIL 4, 2012 wweek.com
COLUMBIA.COM
Scratch the soda tax for now: Proponents of a countywide 1-cent-per-ounce tax on “sugar-added” drinks have decided not to try to put their measure on the November ballot. “We have been working to make more progress on kids’ health and fitness,” says campaign manager Rich Rodgers. “We are especially focused on restoring cuts to PE, Outdoor School and Parks & Recreation maintenance. The best way to do that is to take a little more time.” Rodgers says the campaign didn’t do a poll—nor, he says, was it deterred by the competition of other money-raising measures, a county library levy in May and a potential library taxing district vote in November.
GOT A GOOD TIP? CALL 503.445.1542, OR EMAIL NEWSHOUND@WWEEK.COM
MIKE GRIPPI
NEWS
PRESCRIBING A CURE: Oregon House candidate Dr. Sharon Meieran stumps for votes in Southwest Portland.
DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE? OR SENATE? OREGON MEDICOS FLOCK TO STATE POLITICS AS THE STAKES FOR HEALTH-CARE REFORM GROW. BY NIG E L JAQ UI SS
njaquiss@wweek.com
The average emergency-room doctor makes about $250,000 a year, but Dr. Sharon Meieran says she now makes “well under” that figure in her job at the ER of Portland Adventist Medical Center. That’s because she spends time volunteering in her kids’ classrooms, and she’s president-elect of the Oregon College of Emergency Physicians, speaking out on behalf of her peers on a range of health-care issues. Now Meieran is shooting for an even bigger pay cut by going after a $21,612-a-year job as a member of the Oregon House of Representatives. Meieran, 47, has advocated for the Multnomah County ban of bisphenol A, written op-eds for The Oregonian about prescription drug abuse, and testified in Salem. But it’s what she witnesses every day in the emergency room at Portland Adventist Medical Center in outer Southeast that prompted her to jump into a legislative race. “We see the results of addiction, mental illness and homelessness that show the system is failing,” Meieran says. “We see what happens when health care, education and public safety break down. But I’m not fixing the problem there.” Meieran is now part of an unprecedented trend in
modern Oregon politics: She and five other doctors are running in their first races for elected office. “Going back 25 years, I cannot remember a time when there were this many,” says Jim Carlson, president of the Oregon Health Care Association. “And they come from different parties and different regions of the state.” Three decades ago, Gov. John Kitzhaber parlayed his experience as an emergency-room doctor into expertise on health-care policy. Kitzhaber, who previously served from 1995 to 2003, has made health care a top issue. “Ted Kulongoski had an agenda that was basically insuring kids,” says state Rep. Mitch Greenlick (D-Portland), House Health Care Committee co-chairman. “It’s very different having Kitzhaber pushing a health-care agenda.” Dr. Elizabeth Steiner Hayward, a family practitioner, got appointed in December to the Oregon Senate seat held by now-U.S. Rep. Suzanne Bonamici. Dr. Scott Hansen, a Gresham dentist, and Dr. Scott Roberts, an oral surgeon from North Bend, are GOP Senate candidates. Dr. Thuy Tran, a Democrat and Northeast Portland optometrist, is seeking nomination to the House seat being vacated by Portland mayoral candidate Jefferson Smith. Dr. Knute Buehler, an orthopedic surgeon from Bend, is running for secretary of state on the Republican ticket and will face the incumbent, Democrat Kate Brown, in the fall. Buehler, a Rhodes scholar and former Oregon State baseball player, has been a strong fundraiser. But Meieran—the only legislative candidate who has snagged Kitzhaber’s endorsement—also has a compelling résumé. Before medical school, Meieran practiced
intellectual property law in San Francisco for seven years, where she helped Silicon Valley entrepreneurs protect their inventions. “I decided to make the change when I was 30,” she says. “I wanted to do something more meaningful.” Other doctors-turned-candidates say their experiences with a broken health-care system persuaded them to run. Hansen, the Gresham dentist, says he’s grown increasingly frustrated with paperwork and regulation in the Oregon Health Plan. He says the plan intends to improve outcomes for patients, but it actually reduces compensation for doctors—and the number of patients served. “I understand the laws that state, local and federal governments use to require practitioners to spend money that may be unnecessary,” Hansen says. “If you haven’t been practicing, you don’t see that.” Tran has worked extensively with the Lions club to get eyeglasses for people who cannot afford them. She says running her own clinic for 15 years has taught her the difficulties many Oregonians face in meeting basic needs. “I think I have valuable experience around the issue of access to medical care,” Tran says. The Legislature currently has two doctors: Rep. Fred Girod (R-Stayton), a dentist, and Sen. Alan Bates (D-Medford), an osteopath. Physicians’ groups have poured $2.3 million into Oregon campaigns since 2010. Bates got $72,000, the most of any legislative candidate. Carlson, who has met most of the medically trained candidates, says they chose politics without being recruited. “Most of these folks are self-starters,” he says. Meieran says the motivation is an extension of the problem-solving doctors are taught. “Doctors are well-educated people,” she says. “They see what’s going wrong with this country—and maybe this is part of their response.” Willamette Week APRIL 4, 2012 wweek.com
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WWhoriz_0063_12_pdot.pdf
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Willamette Week APRIL 4, 2012 wweek.com
BILLS DUE? BABIES NEED SHOES? WE CAN HELP. BY B EN WATER HOU SE
bwaterhouse@wweek.com
ILLU STR ATION S BY WILL B RYA N T
So, you’re broke. Again. There’s nothing left in the liquor cabinet but orange bitters and banana schnapps, you’ve smoked down all the butts in the ashtray, and your car is still parked where it ran out of gas, halfway to the office, three days ago. We understand. Journalists don’t have much of a reputation for fiscal maturity, and it doesn’t help that our compensation consists mostly of Popchips and Big Town Hero coupons. Like you, Willamette Week writers have stooped to humiliation to earn a buck, pulling invasive weeds in poison oak-infested fields; cleaning cat shit, garbage and dead iguanas out of downmarket rental units; drinking a bottle of Tabasco for $100; and even attempting to work for FedEx as a Christmas delivery man, lasting through 10 minutes of job training before quitting in a profanity-laced tirade. It doesn’t have to be this way. Maybe you can’t get a better-paying job right now, but you can escape the boom-bust cycle of living paycheck to paycheck. It ain’t easy, but it can be done. The stories in this issue will help you get started— hopefully before you have to start on the schnapps. CONT. on page 10
Willamette Week APRIL 4, 2012 wweek.com
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CONT.
GET OUT OF DEBT NOW!
W I L L B R YA N T
FINANCE
A SPOONFUL OF SUGAR (AND A LITTLE PLANNING) HELP THE LOAN BALANCE GO DOWN. BY JO N AT H A N F R O C HTZ WAJG 243-2122
If you’re in debt, well, you are not a unique and beautiful snowflake. Whether because, as the Republicans tell us, our parents just bought us our X-Men trading cards instead of making us save up for them or, as the Occupiers have it, wages have been pushed so low relative to the cost of living that just getting by now necessitates taking on debt, Americans are in the hole—$2.5 trillion of consumer debt in the hole, according to the Federal Reserve. For borrowers with multiple lines of credit, Thompson Let’s skip the requisite condescending paragraph suggests strategically paying down the bills in declining chiding you for taking out student loans to get a bache- order of interest rate. And, of course, she counsels against lor’s in liberal arts from Sarah Lawrence, shall we? Your making only the minimum payment on credit-card bills. high-priced critical-thinking skills can be put to better If you charge a $1,000 laptop on a card with 18-percent use figuring out how to get the monkey off your back. interest and make only the minimum payment each The solution—or a step toward it, month, Thompson points out, it’ll at least—might be as simple as asktake 19 years to pay off—and the comHELP WITH YOUR DEBT: ing for a break. Melody Thompson GET puter will end up costing $3,000. “A Financial Beginnings is the executive director of Financial 800-406-1876, financialbeginnings.org. lot of people,” she says, “don’t realize Beginnings, a local nonprofit that Clearpoint Credit Counseling Solutions that the minimum payment is just provides financial education to youth A large, nonprofit credit-counseling com- that—it’s the minimum.” and young adults. She says strug- pany. 9955 SE Washington St., 252-5228, If your situation is dire, a number gling borrowers’ first step should be clearpointcreditcounselingsolutions.org. of debt-relief options are available, contacting their lenders and telling from credit counseling to (in the them they’re having trouble making payments. Lenders most serious cases) personal bankruptcy. So-called debtoftentimes will cut a deal lowering the monthly payment, settlement programs, those heavily advertised offers deferring payments to the end of the loan period or waiving where companies claim to be able to negotiate away your fees in return for partial payment of the principal. debt, are among these choices, but reading the Federal “Call them before there’s a problem,” says Thomp- Trade Commission’s guidelines on them is like reading son, who worked previously in collections. “Find out if An American Semitic-Looking Girl’s Guide to Iran—don’t there are any options, and go about it that way instead of go there. Not only are these debt-settlement outfits avoiding the problem.” frequently sketchy, but their settlement of your debt Student-loan lenders, Thompson notes, are especially can come at the cost of your credit rating. “You have to willing to grant borrowers accommodations, including really make sure what it does to your credit,” Thompson reducing the monthly payment to match the borrower’s warns. A less risky option, if you’re in over your head, is income. That might be because student loans may not be to contact credit-counseling organizations, which are included in personal bankruptcy. “It’s a debt that can’t often operated by public, nonprofit institutions like colbe forgiven, so they work with you,” she says. leges and credit unions.
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MORALISTS BE DAMNED THE BANKS WANT TO KEEP YOU HUNGRY AND POOR. DON’T LET THEM. BY B EN WAT ERHOU SE
bwaterhouse@wweek.com
If you want to get rich in America, all you have to do, they say, is tighten your belt, put your nose to the grindstone and pull yourself up by your bootstraps. That sounds great—in a folksy, old-rich-guy way—but if you actually try to do it, you might well wind up tipping over and having your face ground off. The fact of the matter is, if you want to get the boot of the 1 percent off your back, you have to work the angles. Here’s how. Get food stamps Newt Gingrich and his Neanderthal fans have branded Obama “the food-stamp president,” as if that were a bad thing. Food stamps, they imply, are a handout to the lazy that takes food out of the mouths of the more deserving. They couldn’t be more wrong. If you work full time at Oregon minimum wage, have less than $2,000 in the bank and live alone, you probably qualify for the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program, and you should take advantage of it. Don’t worry about freeloading: According to a 2008 study by Moody’s Analytics, food stamps are the single most effective form of government stimulus. Zandi found that every extra dollar spent on food stamps adds $1.73 to the economy. (Secretary of Agriculture Tom Vilsack cited an even higher $1.84 per dollar spent in a 2011 interview.) So when you use food stamps, you’re doing all of us a favor. Check out oregonhelps.org to find out if you qualify. Walk away from your house If you own a house that is worth less than you owe on your mortgage, you are, in industry parlance, “underwater.” In real-world terms, that means you are unlikely to recoup your investment in the property. You are, essentially, renting from the bank. If your mortgage is more than you’d spend on rent on a comparable property, you’re throwing money away. If you find yourself in this situation, call your lenders and ask them to agree to a short sale—that is, to let you sell the home for less than the amount you owe and write off the difference. If they won’t agree, choose strategic default: Stop paying and let the bastards foreclose. You have no more moral obligation to pay your mortgage than corporations do, and you won’t put the bank out of business by walking away. They knew default was a risk when they made the loan. Look out for your own interest first. Visit youwalkaway. com to find out if strategic default is the right decision for you.
Meet clients in the Pearl. Grab a coffee at Peet’s. Work on your bicePs. Pick uP the dry cleaninG. Go to the doctor. Get lunch at ushi land. stoP by the sushi bank. catch a tiM tiMbers e. run back to the office. GaMe. Wse books at PoWell’s. broWse stoP and sMell the roses. Go for a joG on the Waterfront. A better way to carshare is coming to Portland. No mandatory return locations. No deadlines. Simply take a car2go when you need it, and leave it when you’re done. for a limited time, register for free and get 30 minutes of free driving time. Visit portland.car2go.com and use promo code: rose.
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FINANCE
CONT.
W I L L B R YA N T
LET ME EAT CAKE LIVING ON STARVATION WAGES DOESN’T MEAN YOU HAVE TO STARVE. BY KAT MER CK
243-2122
For the past six months, I’ve been feeding two people on $35 a week. That’s right—$35 a week. Five dollars a day, $2.50 per person, 83 cents a meal. I live in a normal city lot; have a 1940s-era, closet-sized kitchen with a crappy electric stove; don’t clip coupons; and do my weekly shopping at Fred Meyer, just like everyone else I know. I do eat meat, and dessert. The only difference is that every meal I eat costs, on average, less than a candy bar. I’m doing this partly out of necessity (marginal employment, student loans, mortgage), and partly because I had grown disgusted with just how much money my husband and I were spending. I, like most Portlanders, used to love eating out, especially at food carts. I’d grab a banh mi here, a breakfast bagel there. Life was good. That is, until I realized I was spending nearly $150 a week on food, just for myself. This was completely unacceptable—and totally avoidable. So I set out to make a change, bringing my lunch to work every day and eating exclusively at home. Before I knew it, I had cut my food budget dramatically. Based on the U.S. Department of Agriculture’s 2011 estimate for a family of two on a “moderate” grocery budget, I estimate we have saved more than $2,500 over the past six months, or around $416 a month—enough for a car payment, increased student-loan payment, or even part of the mortgage, all by following a few commonsense principles. Plan meals ahead of time and cook every day, from scratch. I prepare every single meal I eat from raw, unprocessed ingredients. Believe me—not every day do I want to do this. I come home exhausted and tired from work just like everyone else. But not only does it have the added benefit of allowing me to know exactly what I’m putting in my body—including the ability to calculate the calorie count, if need be—but it has allowed me to develop my cooking skills beyond what I ever thought they’d be. Practice targeted grocery shopping. Do you know how much a package of Chinese egg noodles costs at a regular supermarket? About $3.79. Do you know how much they cost at Fubonn? About $1.50. This is why I take thriceyearly stock-up trips to Winco for bulk foods, an Asian market for Asian ingredients, Costco for staples like butter and flour, and Grocery Outlet for inexpensive cheese. That way I only have one weekly trip to the regular supermarket for produce and incidentals. Stock up on bulk foods. Spices, flours, sugar, oats, cornmeal, whole grains, dried beans and even sometimes dried mushrooms can in most cases all be bought in bulk for a fraction of what it would cost to buy them pre-packaged. This isn’t always the case at some supermarkets, like Fred Meyer, so be sure to compare the packaged with the bulk. Try to find a store that specializes in bulk, like Winco, and buy a few months’ worth of supplies. 12
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Never buy full-priced meat. Most grocery stores have an area in the meat department reserved for meat that’s at or is fast approaching its “sell by” date. Often these packages are marked down by 30 percent to 50 percent, or even more. Even if you’re not looking to eat meat that particular week, always browse the discount-meat section every time you go to the store. My personal budget for beef or pork is $2.99 a pound, and $1.99 a pound for chicken. If you find something at a good price, take it home, portion it out, wrap it, label it and freeze it for later. Don’t eat meat for every meal, and when you do eat meat, don’t make it the centerpiece. Even at just $2.99 a pound, the cost of meat adds up. Try to think of meat as a garnish or additional flavor; you’d be surprised just how much satisfaction you get from a wee 4-ounce sirloin sliced over a big salad than you would an 8-ounce T-bone all by itself. Don’t snack, or at least keep it to a minimum. Hungry in between meals? Grab a piece of seasonal fruit, or a cheap prepared snack like homemade gingered carrot pickles. (Put 1 lb. carrot sticks and 3 T peeled ginger matchsticks in a jar; add 1 cup white vinegar, 1/4 cup turbinado sugar, 1 T kosher salt, and water to cover. Keep refrigerated.) Bake your own bread. I bake bread twice a week, every week (flour is 32 cents a pound in bulk at Costco), and individually wrap each slice to be frozen. This way hot, fresh bread is always a toaster or microwave minute away and can be used for everything from a side for soup to sandwiches or bread crumbs. Develop an arsenal of quick, cheap breakfasts and lunches. On days we have leftovers, lunch is a no-brainer. However, on days there aren’t any, we need a cheap, quick alternative, such as eggs and homemade toast, oatmeal with walnuts and frozen blueberries, or simply a hunk of bread and a couple pieces of fruit. Take advantage of seed exchanges, or start one yourself. I grow almost all my garden plants from seeds, many of which come from trading with friends. I often use only about a third of a packet of seeds, so exchanging the other twothirds for seeds I need is a great way to build variety. (I cut small envelopes in half, copy information from the label, and tape them shut. Most seeds are good for a few years past their “packed for” date.)
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FINANCE
CONT. W I L L B R YA N T
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HOW DO YOU AFFORD YOUR DIY LIFESTYLE? CRUNCHING THE NUMBERS ON PORTLAND’S DIY OBSESSION. BY B EN WATER HOU SE
bwaterhouse@wweek.com
• Rigorous and relevant higher education
Bake bread!
Raise chickens!
We Portlanders love doin’ stuff ourselves. Unlike the pioneers who preceded us in this land of
clouds and kale, we can buy whatever goods we want with the click of a mouse. Yet we nonetheless brew our own beer, grow our own vegetables, make our own clothes and raise our own chickens. Our DIY hobbies are easy, fun and save money—right? Not so fast. We crunched the numbers to find out if our urban homesteading lifestyle is, financially speaking, worth the effort.
DIY cost: Two pullets at Coastal Farm Supply ($10), 275 pounds NatureWise chicken feed (6 ounces per hen per day, $137), feeder, waterer and cheap coop ($150). Two should lay about 450 eggs a year. That means the eggs cost $7.92 per dozen.
Not DIY: Persephone Farms eggs at Portland Farmers Market, $7 per dozen.
Cheapskate alternative: Cage-free eggs at Fred Meyer, $2.29 per dozen.
Is it cost-effective? No! But they’re more practical than conventional pets.
DIY cost: Baguette pan ($12.50) and ingredients (flour and yeast are about 50 cents per loaf if you don’t buy in bulk). The first two loaves will cost $13.50, but it will be only 50 cents per loaf thereafter.
Not DIY: Pearl Bakery artisan baguette, $2.95
Cheapskate alternative: New Seasons baguette, $1.99
Is it cost-effective? Yes, and it’s always hot and fresh!
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Brew kombucha!
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Make a sundress!
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DIY cost: Bucket, siphon hose, airlock, carboy, capper and caps ($50)—and ingredients for 5 gallons of beer (malt, hops, malt, yeast, $35). The first 5-gallon batch will make nine six-packs that cost $9.40 each. Later batches will be $3.80 per six-pack.
Not DIY: Deschutes Mirror Pond Amber Ale, $7.49 per six-pack.
Cheapskate alternative: Simpler Times, $2.99 per six-pack at Trader Joe’s.
Is it cost-effective? Yes, if you don’t mind giving up variety for economy.
DIY cost: Sewing machine ($150), needles, chalk, thread, etc. ($20), dress pattern ($10) and four yards of cotton ($32) will cost you $212.
Not DIY: Sundresses, made in Portland, on Etsy.com, $45-$250.
Cheapskate alternative: Cotton sundress at H&M, $19.95.
Is it cost-effective? Sure, if you don’t value your time.
DIY cost: Kombucha mother (free on Craigslist), ingredients (sugar, fancy tea, $3) and a lidded paint bucket ($4) runs about $7 per gallon.
Not DIY: Brew Dr. Kombucha, $27 per gallon (9 bottles).
Cheapskate alternative: Kombucha Wonder Drink, $23 per gallon (15 cans).
Is it cost-effective? Yes, if you’re into that sort of thing.
FINANCE
I’LL HAVE NO FEES SOMEDAY HOW NOT TO GET SCREWED BY YOUR BANK. BY BE N WAT E R H O U SE
bwaterhouse@wweek.com
Banks are evil. We all know this. They got bailed out, we got sold out, etc. But you have to keep your money somewhere, and burying Ziplocs of bundled $20s isn’t exactly convenient. What’s a working stiff to do? Be prepared. Bank, community bank or credit union? Inspired by Occupy, you want to move your money from the evil banks to a goody-two-shoes community bank or credit union. But what’s the difference? A community bank is defined by the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation as any banking organization with assets totaling less than $1 billion. Otherwise they are not fundamentally different from national banks. Some, like Albina Community Bank and One PacificCoast Bank, are explicitly devoted to bettering the communities in which they operate; others are not. Credit unions are nonprofit institutions owned by their members. They may have restrictions on membership, requiring members to belong to a certain union or company. Others are open to all U.S. residents. Some are quite large: OnPoint reported over $3 billion in assets in 2011. Credit unions often have lower fees than banks. Show me the fees! When you shop for an account, ask to see the fee schedule, the document listing all the fees the institution could charge you. Some institutions make their fee schedules readily available online, but many hide it. They are dense with jargon, so you may want to go into a branch to have it explained. You want to avoid a monthly fee for the account itself. If a bank requires a minimum balance to waive a fee, consider whether you will consistently meet that balance. Draft an outline of your spending habits—how much money you keep in your accounts, whether you use checks or debit or automatic bill pay—and ask what accounts a bank has that best fit your needs. The most common bank fee most consumers encounter is an “overdraft” charge incurred when you spend more than you have in your account and the bank charges an outrageous fee—$35 is standard—for covering the shortfall. Debit overdrafting is, thanks to new federal regulations, always opt-in only on new accounts, so unless you ask for it, your card will just be declined when you lack sufficient funds. However, overdrafting fees for checks and automatic bill-paying still apply. If you use either of those and tend to run out your account balance, consider choosing a bank that offers automatic email or text message alerts when your balance is low. Convenience counts If you choose a bank that doesn’t have a surcharge-free ATM near your home or workplace, you could easily lose hundreds in fees. While the big national banks have many branches, they don’t necessarily have the largest ATM networks. Most credit unions belong to the CO-OP Network, which allows customers to use ATMs at any member branch or 7-Eleven location in the U.S. Oh, thank heaven.
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Affordably priced for these times. Available online at www.amazon.com Be amazed by Alevizos’ anecdotes and facts about border security and other truths you’re not to know about! 5% of royalties go to rainforest restoration Willamette Week APRIL 4, 2012 wweek.com
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FINANCE
CONT.
THE PORTLAND BUDGET
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HOW WE SPEND, AND HOW WE SHOULD. BY B EN WATERHOU SE
How the average Portlander spends his or her money, according to the 2004-2005 Consumer Expenditure Survey:
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Health care: 5 percent
Housing: 31 percent Transportation: 18 percent
Other: 5 percent
Food and beverages: 14 percent
Apparel and services: 4 percent
Personal insurance and pensions: 11 percent
Cash contributions (donations, gifts, etc.): 4 percent
Entertainment: 6 percent
Education: 2 percent
How the average Portlander should spend his or her money, according to stereotype: Rent (three-bedroom house in Kenton, split among four roommates): $4,000
25, SINGLE, NO KIDS PRE-TAX YEARLY INCOME: $22,875
Taxes (including payroll deductions): $2,386.81
Coffee: $500 (a $2 cup every weekday)
Alcoholic beverages: $2,000
Marijuana: $200
Meals out: $2,000
Bicycle: $170 (assuming a $500 bike kept for seven years, plus accessories and service)
Food eaten at home: $2,000 Health insurance (Regence, with a $5,000 deductible): $1,236
Entertainment: $160 (20 movies per year at the Laurelhurst Theater, plus Netflix)
Student loans: $900 (toward the average debt for 2008 grads of $23,186)
35, MARRIED, NO KIDS PRE-TAX YEARLY INCOME: $50,955
Taxes: $10,948
Marijuana: $200
Utilities: $3,000
Entertainment: $160
Savings: $2,379
Health insurance: $6,144 (Regence, 4 people, $5,000 deductible) Food at home: $6,000 Utilities: $3,000
Bus fare: $1,250 (six months each for two people)
Coffee: $1,000
Insurance: $3,024 (two people, Regence, $5,000 deductible)
Fuel, repairs and financing on a 2007 Subaru Outback wagon: $7,495
Home remodeling: $2,000
Bicycle: $340 (assuming two $500 bikes kept for seven years, plus accessories and service)
Food away from home: $4,000
Taxes: $12,000
Alcoholic beverages: $2,000
Miscellaneous: $1,040
Food at home: $4,160 ($80 per week)
Mortgage: $15,373.56 (same house)
Miscellaneous: $812 Utilities: $732 (one quarter of the Portland average)
Savings: $2,287
Mortgage: $15,373.56 (30-year fixed, 5 percent mortgage on $216,600—Portland’s median sales price—taxes included)
Bus fare: $850 (eight months’ worth of weekdays)
45, MARRIED, TWO KIDS PRE-TAX YEARLY INCOME: $55,895
Other (i.e., the kids): $1,778 Alcoholic beverages: $1,196 (1 bottle of Wild Turkey per week) Coffee: $1,000 Fixing the house when the kids break it: $1,000 Bus fare: $812 Entertainment: $96 (Netflix) Meals out: Ha! Savings: Ha!
SO URCES: 2010 US CENSUS, TAX-RAT ES.O RG, WHI T EFENCEI ND E X .CO M, S U RE PAYROLL.CO M, FINAID.ORG, PORTLAND H OU S ING.BLO G S POT.CO M, EDMU NDS .CO M
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CONT.
FINANCE
SO YOU NEED A LOAN. HERE’S HOW TO GET ONE. BY JO N AT H A N F R O C H TZ WAJG
243-2122
You’re going to need a loan someday. No matter how much cash in tips, Chinook Book coupons and coffee-shop punch cards you’ve stashed in your mattress, when it comes to buying a house or starting a business, almost no one can go with cash in hand. You might have heard traditional lenders have been close-fisted with the billions in bailout money they got a few years back. Fret not, prospective homebuyers and entrepreneurs, there are plenty of borrowing opportunities available. With interest rates and home prices low, it’s a great time to be a first-time homebuyer, says Michelle Puggarana, program director with the nonprofit Portland Housing Center (282-7744, portlandhousingcenter.org). But beware that “buying a home is a really complicated and [potentially] overwhelming experience,” she says. Puggarana’s top tip for home-loan seekers is to get help—if not from her organization, then from a federally approved housing-counseling agency. Housing counselors look at your big-picture financial situation to help compare your borrowing options and determine eligibility for loans, including first-time homebuyer and downpayment assistance programs offered by government agencies, nonprofits and financial institutions. First-time homebuyer programs typically offer mortgages at lower-than-market interest rates for people who haven’t owned a home in at least three years and earn less than a certain amount. (It’s higher than you might think, Puggarana notes.) Down-payment assistance programs provide people whose household income is no higher than 80 percent of the area median (that is, no higher than $58,400 for a household of four in Portland) with savings matches, grants and loans to defray
the upfront costs that commonly bar firsttime homebuyers. Regardless of how you get a home loan, Puggarana says you should try to secure the most conservative kind: one with a 30-year term and a fixed interest rate. You should also be more conservative than the lending industry in deciding whether you can afford the monthly payment. While the industry standard is that the prospective borrower’s total debt payments, including the mortgage, should be no more than 45 percent of her income, Puggarana says about 41 percent is a less risky guideline. “If somebody loses their job or has a reduction in their work hours, that can have a pretty big impact when 45 percent of your income is going toward debt,” she says. “We really encourage people to make sure that they’re also building in a cushion.” What about your food-cart idea? Getting a loan for a business concept (it is a food cart, isn’t it?) also often means hitting up a bank or credit union. Rachel Stein, a loan officer at Mercy Corps’ local community-development arm, Mercy Corps Northwest (896-5070, mercycorpsnw.org), says although traditional lenders are more risk-averse than they used to be, and most aren’t loaning to start-ups, their positions are shifting with the economy and no two institutions are alike. “You never know what they might have for you,” she says. If you don’t qualify for a loan from a bank or credit union, Stein says, your options depend on factors including the industry, loan amount and neighborhood. Some public agencies, such as the Portland Development Commission, offer loans to would-be entrepreneurs who are ineligible for traditional financing. They usually target particular business sectors or geographical areas, which might mean compromising your vision. Mercy Corps NW offers loans between $500 and $20,000 for start-ups, and other community-development institutions offer greater amounts. Mercy Corps NW’s loans carry a higher interest rate than
EXTRA CREDIT Credit reports are a grown-up’s permanent record. Most people understand that a positive credit history is crucial to buying a house, starting a business or maybe even getting a job. But a lot of them think building good credit is a simple matter of paying your bills on time. In fact, punctual remittance is only approximately onethird of the credit-rating equation, says Melody Thompson of financial-education nonprofit Financial Beginnings. “You would think, ‘Hey, as long as I pay my bills on time, I should have perfect credit,’” she says. “It’s really not the case.” Thompson explains that building good credit requires not just paying on time, but also paying off at least enough of your balance each month to keep it below 50 percent of your credit limit. “If you’re showing that you owe, you know, $999 of $1,000, it’s making it look like maybe you
W I L L B R YA N T
SPARE A QUARTER MIL?
ones from banks (reflecting the higher risk of the loans it makes), but the organization, like many alternative lenders, takes a more nuanced view of applicants’ credit scores, even lending to people who previously have been foreclosed on or declared bankruptcy. In considering any loan, Stein recommends looking at not only the interest rate, but also the amortization schedule (which breaks down the amount you would pay in principal and interest each month), whether you would be allowed to pay off the loan early, the support available should you have trouble making payments and the fees associated with the loan. Last but not least, Stein says borrowers should feel good about their lender. “As a smallbusiness owner, it’s really important that you forge a positive relationship with your financial institution,” she says. “It’s important that you trust your banker and want to work with him or her.”
can’t handle that,” she says. Also factored into your credit rating are the number of credit lines you have—beware that department-store plastic—and your credit history’s length. “You don’t want to encourage somebody to go out and get a credit card if they’re not ready for it, but you do want them to start getting that history,” Thompson says. “When you go out and want to buy a house, they’re going to want to look and see how you’ve paid other debtors.” It’s prudent to check your credit rating every six months or so. You are entitled by law to a free report from each of the three credit bureaus once a year, so you can check your rating up to three times a year without paying one of the many sleazy websites that exist to sell you your own financial information. Go to annualcreditreport.com—it looks like a phishing scam but is in fact the official, FTC-authorized site—to get your free reports.
LOAN STARS: FOUR NONTRADITIONAL LENDING PROGRAMS Oregon Bond Loan Program
Who’s lending: Oregon Housing and Community Services, oregonbond.us. The deal: Home loans with a fixed, 3.5percent interest rate and either a 15- or 30-year term. The catch: You may not have owned a home in at least three years, must earn above a certain amount and can’t have been discharged from a bankruptcy within two years or have had a real-estate foreclosure within five years. Some requirements are waived if the home is in one of the state’s targeted areas.
Mortgage Assistance Program
Who’s lending: Portland Housing Center, portlandhousingcenter.org The deal: Home loans intended to supplement a primary loan and cover downpayment and closing costs. The loans are for up to $50,000. They have a fixed, 6.25 percent interest rate and a 30-year term. The catch: Well, you need to have the primary loan. You also need to make 80 percent or less of the area median income and have a minimum of $500 for the down payment. Finally, the property must be in Multnomah or Washington County.
Tenant Improvements Loan
Who’s lending: Portland Development Commission, pdc.us The deal: Business loans for renovation of a commercial property’s interior. These loans are for up to $2 million. They carry a fixed interest rate of between the prime rate (the standard rate at which financial institutions lend to favored borrowers) and the prime rate plus 3 percent. The term is five years. The catch: The property has to be in one of PDC’s Urban Renewal Areas and the borrower must meet certain financing requirements.
Small Business Microloan Program
Who’s lending: Mercy Corps Northwest, mercycorpsnw.org The deal: Business loans of $500 to $20,000 for start-ups (and up to $50,000 for existing businesses). The loans have a fixed interest rate of 8 percent to 12 percent and a term of two months to five years. The catch: None, really, beyond the usual evidence of fiscal responsibility.
Willamette Week APRIL 4, 2012 wweek.com
17
D I SD C IOSUCNOTU N T
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Willamette Week APRIL 4, 2012 wweek.com
DO
DON’T
Fill out the correct forms. Well, duh, right? “The most basic mistakes happen because people grab the wrong form,” says April Gutierrez, managing director of Pacific Northwest Tax Service. It’s the easiest way to miss potential deductions (or accidentally leave money unreported) because there simply isn’t a line asking for certain information.
Lie about your income. Well, duh, right? “People all the time feel they shouldn’t have to report income,” Gutierrez says. “They’ll come in and say, ‘Yeah, I ran this little business on the side, but I don’t want to report that.’ Well, once you tell your tax preparer about it, your tax preparer is ethically obligated to report that income on the return. If you don’t want them to, you might as well take your stuff and go.”
Take advantage of state tax credits. Depending on income level, Oregon offers major incentives for tuition costs and expenses related to childcare, as well as for political donations, energy-saving home improvements and retirement savings.
Guess at your expenses. “Quite often, what I see,” says Scott Weinert of Integrity Northwest tax service, “is if you ask someone their childcare expenses, they’ll start counting holes in the ceiling and say, ‘Well, here it is.’”
Keep track of business miles and charitable donations. Even the stuff you’ve given to Goodwill can be written off. Also, expenses related to work clothes—dry cleaning, say— are deductible as well, as long as the clothing is formally issued by the company (business suits don’t count).
Attempt to deduct those leather pants and your grandmother’s flouncy pastel blouse as a “work uniform.” Yeah, barista/rock star, we know it’s your “stage outfit,” but even legit musicians can’t get away with that. “Mick Jagger tried to write off his flashy clothing,” says Eve Davis, owner of In or Out Tax Service, “but it was disallowed because it was something he could still wear on the street.”
Write off your carrier pigeons. Wait, what? “Somebody deducted a carrier pigeon as communication for their business,” Davis says. “They sent messages across town by carrier pigeons, so they deducted the cost of the pigeon and the food. As far as I know, the IRS didn’t disallow it.”
Try to claim your cat as a dependent. “You obviously can’t, but people try that every year,” Weinert says. Unless, of course, that cat or dog or rabbit or Madagascan hissing roach has been prescribed to help battle depression. In that case, deduct away.
Look for home-office deductions. If you work from home, a percentage of utilities and rent, among other things, can be written off as business expenses.
Overdo it. “People seem to think, ‘Well, I worked at home or did something at my house, so now I can claim all the expenses at my house as business expenses,’” says tax consultant Danita Wakamatsu. “‘Oh yeah, I’m going to write off my mortgage, because I was grading papers at home.’”
GET HELP WITH YOUR TAXES: CASH Oregon, the financial-education nonprofit, offers free tax preparation and filing at 38 sites across Multnomah County, including a large walk-in site at Lloyd Center mall. See cashoregon.org or call 243-7765 for a list of sites. The Internal Revenue Service offers free federal tax return preparation on Tuesdays and Thursdays to people with incomes of less than $50,000 at its Portland office, 100 SW Main St., 415-7361.
CONT.
W I L L B R YA N T
MAKE THE PIE HIGHER
FINANCE
SO YOU FINALLY MADE SOME MONEY. NOW WHAT? BY PE N E LO P E B ASS
pbass@wweek.com
You may not be Mitt Romney rich—using $100 bills to polish your solid-gold doorstops—but let’s say you’re finally at a point in your life where you’ve saved a little nest egg. What kind of wizardry does it take to make it grow? Forget the 0.6 percent earnings on the savings account you set up when you were 12. We spoke to some financial experts to learn how to invest your money like a grown-up. Stocks, bonds, mutual funds…sweet Jesus, where do I start? Individual stocks, though offering a high rate of return, are a risky investment, and most financial advisers don’t recommend them for newbies. But investing in a variety of stocks through a mutual fund can still offer a high rate of return with less risk. “Consider an ‘asset allocation’ mutual fund that matches your time horizon for needing the money and your tolerance for risk,” advises Gayle Matson, a local certified financial planner. “Such funds usually hold both domestic and international stocks and bonds.” Piman Limpaphayom, a CFP and professor at Portland State University’s business school, recommends dividing investments between high-return stocks and safer bonds. “When you’re just starting to invest, you would put a lot of money in stock mutual funds, like 60 percent, and about 30 to 40 percent in something relatively safe like bonds. Put 5 to 10 percent in something we call ‘alternative investment,’ like gold or real estate. But that is only a small portion. You can invest in a more aggressive fashion when you’re 25 or 35—you can put more in stocks.” If this is your first investment rodeo, consider seeking advice from a professional. Most banks can provide free information or an initial consultation if you’re a client, and many work with investment firms that can be referenced. Just keep an eye on rates and fees you will be paying, especially from financial advisers who work on commission.
“HAVE AT LEAST SIX MONTHS OF SALARY IN THE BANK BEFORE [YOU] EVEN THINK ABOUT INVESTING.” “You want to know how much firms charge on a year-toyear basis,” says Limpaphayom. “Because they will charge you for things they have to pay like advertising and marketing expenses. So you want a firm that minimizes those.” How much money are we talking about? “The common recommendation that we give is for someone to have at least three to six months of their salary in the bank before they even think about investing,” says Limpaphayom. “Investing is a long-term commitment, so you want to make sure you have enough. Have an emergency, liquid fund in the bank.” Once you’ve got a savings together, you don’t have to dump every penny into your investment portfolio. “It’s not a matter of how much we should save, it’s about how consistent—it’s the key to investing for long term,” says Limpaphayom. “For example, if you put in $1,000 in January,
then the whole market drops in July but comes back to the same level in December, you’d still have $1,000. But if you split that $1,000 into 12 equal payments and invested it consistently each month, even though the market dropped in the middle of the year, you’d actually end up with more value. It’s called ‘dollar cost averaging.’ So instead of putting the lump some in at one time, we actually recommend investing consistently each month regardless of how the market is doing. You have to be very disciplined.” Shouldn’t I buy a house? Grown-ups do that, right? There are plenty of good reasons to buy a home, but being purely an investment is not one of them. “I think in 2005 everyone thought real estate was the best investment, and the average five-year return was 25 percent,” says Limpaphayom. “But when the bubble burst in 2008, it was no longer a good investment. It is a saving mechanism. If you look at the returns of real estate, over 60 or 70 years the rate of return is only 2 to 3 percent, so it is not a good investment. But the good thing about putting money in a home is that it forces you to be disciplined. It gets you to be consistent. Down the road, you can keep the equity and make use of it any way you want, but do not expect high returns.” Michelle Puggarana, director of homeownership programs at the Portland Housing Center, recommends potential buyers examine what type of investment they are looking to make. “Many people got into trouble during [the housing bubble] by treating their home like a credit card or a quick investment strategy,” Puggarana says. “Buyers who are purchasing a home now would want to consider their goals, how long they plan to stay in the home, and how much cash investment they are making at the time of purchase in determining if it is a ‘good’ investment.”
Plan for retirement? I only just landed a job where I don’t have to wear a name tag. That’s right, kids. One day you will be old, and wouldn’t it be nice not to have to eat like you’re back in college? Start saving now. “The most powerful retirement savings vehicle for most young people is their employer’s retirement plan, if there is one available to them,” says Matson. “Most employers offer some kind of matching contribution, so you want to contribute at least as much as will allow you to take full advantage of the match. Always take the free money!” After getting your employer’s matching contribution, Matson recommends putting any additional savings into a Roth IRA, which allows you to withdraw your money without tax or penalty should you need it. “The earlier you start saving, the less you will have to save over the long term,” she says. “Never underestimate the power of compound interest!” How about I just scrap all this mumbo jumbo and buy gold? Um, no. Even if you don’t mind the destructive environmental and social effects of gold mining, buying up Krugerrands won’t turn you into a Scrooge McDuck. “Gold, if you look at the last three years, the return is like 25 to 30 percent,” says Limpaphayom. “But if you go back to 1970, the average return was only 5 percent. So don’t make an investment based on short-term memory. These commodities will look good at some point, but it won’t look good in the long run. But, having said that, it is a great hedge for inflation—the value tends to keep up with inflation. Gold is a good savings vehicle, not an investment. Some years it will give you a lot of excitement, but other years a big headache.” Willamette Week APRIL 4, 2012 wweek.com
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“When Talking Doesn’t Help, Try This” Dear friend, Four out of five people that show up in my office have been in therapy for many months or even years, taken all sorts of medications, wound up with huge medical or psychological bills, and are still no better off. Often, they’ve been subjected to medications that have only served to temporarily mask symptoms. Or they’ve talked and talked and talked and still have the same issue. That’s not what most people are looking for. Often, these people get frustrated and wind up in my office. I’m used to it….it’s fine with me. Years ago, I was an assistant editor for Spirituality & Health magazine in NYC. My office was in the financial district and I had a stunning view of the World Trade Center. All was fine by me. But then, 9/11 happens and I have front row seats. Debilitating fatigue sets in and I lose my drive and focus. Everything feels like an effort, yet I desperately want to keep my job. My MD tells me there’s nothing I can do about it and despite suggestions, I have no interest in talking to a therapist. Instead, I find a Neuro Emotional Technique (NET) practitioner. I feel so much relief after the very first visit. I don’t have to take drugs or talk about my feelings for months on end. After a few months, I feel better than ever! Ten years ago NET saved my life. It allowed me to have more energy, less pain, and more happiness despite living through the aftermath of September 11th. I was so impressed with my results that I earned a doctorate in psychology so that I could learn NET and help others. Now, people from Portland come to see me for their fatigue, painful joints, unhappiness, chronic health conditions, despair, distress, tension, weight loss blocks, and relationships issues, just to name a few. They don’t come for psychotherapy because that’s not what I do; they come for NET and they get results. These neighbors of yours tell their stories: “Some time ago I was experiencing horrible back pain. To put it simply, after my NET sessions the back pain never came back.” -Layla
“Following a pretty serious breakup, I found myself gaining weight, avoiding friends, and developing a short fuse. All that turned around after my sessions at Sterling Holistic Health. I was able to move on with my life in a much happier manner.” -Stephanie Special Offer - Look, I know you’re smart. You want to get to the cause of your problem, and not just cover it up with drugs, nor talk about things to no effect. So, when you call to schedule a new patient exam you’ll receive that entire exam for just $47. That’s a full history, an assessment of your current level of functioning, and the report
A WEEKEND-LONG FESTIVAL CELEBRATING THE BOHEMIAN ARTS: MUSIC, CIRCUS, CABARET, BURLESQUE AND MORE! Monday, April 9th
CHILLY GONZALES PRESENTED BY DOUBLE T CONCERTS Thursday , April 12th
GLEN PHILLIPS
OF TOAD THE WET SPROCKET
WITH
JONATHAN KINGHAM
CD RELEASE WITH NATIONAL FLOWER & LEWI LONGMIRE
W/ STORM LARGE & BLACK PRAIRIE Monday, April 16th
ROOTS ON THE RAILS JON LANGFORD • TOM RUSSELL • THAD BECKMAN • RAMBLIN’ JACK ELLIOT • JIMMIE DALE GILMORE Thursday, April 19th
P.S. Special arrangements given to returning vets and their families.
SOUL’D OUT FESTIVAL PRESENTS THE
LIV WARFIELD EXPERIENCE
& POLYRHYTHMICS Friday, April 20th
HAROLD AND MAUDE MOVIE WITH SQUAD CLASSIC LIVE SOUNDTRACK! Saturday, April 21st
FLAT FOOT FOLLIES
Willamette Week APRIL 4, 2012 wweek.com
IT’S NEW OPEN SEASON ON PORTLAND’S POLITICOS!
CANDIDATES GONE WILD
is back!
Amanda Fritz and Mary Nolan teach tango! The secret talents of Portland politicians! Julian Assange!* Music by Radiation City! Hosted by Live Wire’s Courtenay Hameister!
SWING TIME VAUDVILLE Friday, April 27th
VICTOR LITTLE
& FRIENDS
Alberta Rose Theatre (503) 764-4131 3000 NE Alberta
& even wilder!
3-way tug of war between mayoral candidates Jefferson Smith, Charlie Hales & Eileen Brady!
& THE SHANGHAI WOOLIES
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20
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of findings. Plus, it includes NET the whole ball of wax. These two exams normally cost $274. But, please call right away because this offer expires at 6pm on April 18th 2012, and I wouldn’t want you to miss out. My office is called Sterling Holistic Health and is in Sellwood, within Elixia Wellness Group, located at 8113 SE 13th Avenue (on the corner of Tacoma, diagonally across from Starbucks). My phone number is 503232-5653. Please call my wonderful assistants today, Cindy, Kim, or Tonia to reserve your spot.
20% Off Gorgeous Gemstone Trunkshow & Metal Bead Strands! Going On Right Now Until The Middle Of April.
APRIL 17 TICKETS $5 - ALL AGES BAGDAD THEATER 3702 SE HAWTHORNE BLVD. DOORS OPEN AT 6 PM, SHOW STARTS AT 8 PM Tickets can be purchased by coming to the world HQ of Willamette Week, 2220 NW Quimby St. or The Bus Project, 333 SE 2nd Ave. *Julian Assange will not actually be here, but somebody from Occupy Portland might read something he wrote.
WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?
STREET
TWEEDY BIRDS RIDING IN STYLE AT THE 2012 TWEED RIDE. P HOTOS BY MOR GA N GREEN -H OP KIN S A N D IVAN LIMON GA N wweek.com/street
Willamette Week APRIL 4, 2012 wweek.com
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CULTURE: Gray and Paulsen at Disjecta. FOOD: Boke Bowl’s upgradeable ramen. MUSIC: The Wedding Present’s album rock. MOVIES: Titanic memories.
25 27 29 44
SCOOP
P R E S S H E R E N O W. C O M
GOSSIP DROPPED IN THE OCEAN AT THE END. CARRIE ON: The sun came up, so it was another big week for Carrie Brownstein. Undeterred by her Mayoral Madness loss to Victoria Taft, Brownstein announced April 2 that she’ll publish a memoir with Riverhead Books, a division of Penguin. It’s a different book than her last proposed memoir, The Sound of Where You Are, which had been announced in 2010 with HarperCollins. “This one feels more organic, less academic,” Brownstein says. She’s done a lot of stuff since then, like making appearances on NPR game show Wait Wait…Don’t Tell Me! and Marc Maron’s podcast WTF to round out her March. SNUBBED! Two of Portland’s most iconic acts, the Shins and M. Ward, have failed to add Portland dates to their tours for new albums. While both acts flirt with other home bases—the Shins’ James Mercer hangs out in L.A., Ward kicks it in Austin and Europe—we had expected M. WARD some kind of homecoming celebrations. Instead, local fans will have to wait for the Sasquatch! festival in late May. And now a short list of inferior cities on the artists’ respective tours: Nelsonville, Ohio; Missoula, Mont.; Reno, Nev.; Upper Darby, Pa.
HOLE LOTTA BAKIN’ GOING ON: The bagel wars continue, as Michael Madigan, the owner of Pearl District commissary kitchen KitchenCru, is joining the fight. Madigan told WW in an interview last year that there’s “no way” he would open a restaurant: “I’ve just seen it grind up too many good people.” Now he plans to open an Old Town bagel shop called Bowery Bagels, inspired by the New York bagels of his youth. Madigan gave away 500 bagels (flavors included soy-miso and truffle salt) at KitchenCru on March 31 to promote the shop and road-test his recipes. Scoop enjoyed an excellent everything bagel—the real test will be whether it can scale up to a commercial level. GHOST OF A SEASON: The Rose Garden is getting spooooky. Grimm stars David Giuntoli (plain-looking detective dude) and Silas Weir Mitchell (awesome werewolf dude) showed up April 1 to watch the Blazers beat the Timberwolves in a game of minimal NBA-wide consequence. Weird, WEIR MITCHELL right? Then, at halftime, all sorts AND GIUNTOLI of weird monsters stormed the court and begin to brawl! (It was mascot night.) Then, in the fourth quarter, a crazy and/or heavily intoxicated man (with superhuman strength!) barreled into the arena and had to be dragged out by a gang of ushers and security guards. Reports of what happened next are fuzzy, but our source says that once outside the arena, the man cackled, turned into a bat and flew away. Grimm is totally real. 22
Willamette Week APRIL 4, 2012 wweek.com
NBC.COM/GRIMM
PLAYED LIST: A reader complained that KZME 107.1-FM, the Portland station that plays only local music, has shifted gears since a recent fundraising drive. Actually, KZME is just expanding its genre-independent playlist, says volunteer Chris Guy. “We’ve been adding more new music,” he says. “So they’re not just hearing the same thing over and over.”
HEADOUT I VA N L I M O N G A N
WILLAMETTE WEEK
WHAT TO DO THIS WEEK IN ARTS & CULTURE
WEDNESDAY, APRIL 4 RODRIGO Y GABRIELA [MUSIC] Mexico’s Rodrigo y Gabriela are the perfect musical sponges, former metalheads who integrate thunder beautifully with classical guitar, creating a percussive and layered mishmash that’s every bit as intricate as a full orchestra. Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, 1037 SW Broadway Ave. 8 pm. $40 advance, $45 day of show. All ages.
THURSDAY, APRIL 5 MARTY [MOVIES] Ernest Borgnine—yes, the Ernest Borgnine—will attend a screening of the 1955 Best Picture winner where he plays a melancholy butcher looking for love, self-esteem and a good cut of veal. NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium, 1219 SW Park Ave., 221-1156. 7:30 pm. Free.
FRIDAY, APRIL 6 ONCE UPON A TIME IN ANATOLIA [MOVIES] As the title hints, it’s a kind of Western: A small-town posse (police chief, prosecutor, stenographer and coroner) drive by night through the Turkish steppe, trying to illuminate the shallow grave where a confessed murderer dropped his victim. Cannes darling Nuri Bilge Ceylan zooms toward his actors’ weathered, warped faces for Leoneiconic close-ups, but the showdowns are all internal. Hollywood Theatre, 4122 NE Sandy Blvd., 4931128. Multiple showtimes. $6-$9. STANDING ON CEREMONY [THEATER] Artists Rep presents readings of nine 10-minute plays about same-sex marriage by renowned playwrights including Doug Wright, Paul Rudnick, Moisés Kaufman and Jordan Harrison. Proceeds benefit Basic Rights Oregon. Artists Repertory Theatre, 1515 SW Morrison St., 241-1278. 10 pm Friday-Saturday. $15.
SATURDAY, APRIL 7
HARELUJAH! LET’S REMEMBER THE TRUE MEANING OF EASTER. There is a war on Easter. Sure, I could try to sugarcoat it—to disguise the truth in shiny tinfoil—but the truth is that Obama and his fellow socialists want everyone to think this is a holiday about sharing Cadbury eggs with the poor, or hanging on a cross for people who won’t work for health care. They want us to forget the true meaning of the sacred day—to make it cheap and secular, to forget “outdated” values. But I am not ashamed to be old-fashioned. I am not afraid to say that, however the world may mock and scoff, I testify that some things never change.
Easter is still the Easter Bunny’s birthday. That’s why this Sunday, April 8, I will make my annual pilgrimage to Aloha in Washington County to visit the Shrine of Harvey—one of the only remaining Easter Bunny temples left in the country. There, I will meet with the faithful few who still remember. People like Felicia, who isn’t afraid to say, extremely loudly, that the gaze of True Living Rabbit healed her gout. People like Lawrence, who continues to sing the traditional bunny hymns—how my soul stirs when I hear his gurgling voice raised in a chorus of “Meet Me in the Middle of the Hare!”—no matter how many listeners have seizures. We do not care how the world may laugh. For we know we are loved by our lord and savior: a giant rabbit that lays eggs. AARON MESH. GO: The Shrine of Harvey is located outside Harvey Marine, 21250 SW Tualatin Valley Highway, Aloha. We will meet at dawn Sunday, April 8.
ALPENROSE EASTER EGG HUNT [EASTER] Alpenrose Dairy has been hosting an Easter egg hunt every year since 1962. The hunting kicks off at 10:30 am for kids ages 3 to 5, then kids 6 to 8 get their turn at noon. The “grand prize” (Easter has a winner now?) will be 14 6-foot bunnies and 35 teddy bears. Alpenrose recommends bringing a picnic lunch to enjoy, while your offspring smear chocolate on their faces. Alpenrose Dairy, 6149 SW Shattuck Road. 10:30 am. Free. STAR WARS TRIVIA AND COSTUME COMPETITION Quizmaster JPP hosts an all-Star Wars trivia night to raise money for Free Geek. In attendance will be Portland’s very own Stormtrooper legion, the Cloud City Garrison, and the Unipiper, who will play “The Imperial March” on the bagpipes while dressed as Darth Vader. There will also be a costume contest. The winning team gets a really fancy lightsaber. Mount Tabor Theater, 4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd. 6 pm. $10. 21+. Willamette Week APRIL 4, 2012 wweek.com
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WWEEK.COM/EATMOBILE PAID ADVERTISING
2012 EAT MOBILE CART LINE-UP:
IN ITS FIFTH YEAR, UNDER A DIFFERENT BRIDGE, PRESENTED WITH OMSI. Eat Mobile isn’t just about sampling the wares of some of the city’s best food carts. It’s also a competition—a 50-way showdown for the kinda-sorta prestigious Carty Award. There are three Carty categories: Judges’ Choice, People’s Choice and Style. Past winners include Whiffies Fried Pies, Garden State and Fifty Licks. Apart from bragging rights, all winners will receive a consultation with Whole Foods Market's local forager, Denise Breyley. She will discuss how to make the jump from food
cart to shopping cart on the shelves at Whole Foods and how to receive a local producer loan. The winners of the Judges' Choice and People's Choice awards will take home a $200 gift certificate from Alexis Foods and a seven-piece block set of Shun Classic knives. The People’s Choice winner will receive a four-week ad campaign in Willamette Week. The Style winner gets a private dinner for eight at KitchenCru, prepared by Jeff McCarthy and Michael Madigan, with wine pairings by CorksCru wine shop.
WHILE OUR EXPERTS ARE CHOOSING THEIR FAVORITES, YOU, THE EAT MOBILE-ATTENDING PUBLIC, WILL MAKE YOUR OPINION KNOWN WITH THE EVEN-MORE-KINDA PRESTIGIOUS PEOPLE'S CHOICE AWARD, PRESENTED BY VERIZON WIRELESS.
JEFF MCCARTHY
SARAH SCHAFER
DENISE BREYLEY
JEHNEE RAINS
Save for a stint as a draft-horse carriage operator, Jeff has worked in the culinary industry his whole life. A culinary school dropout, Jeff cut his teeth for many years in renowned resort hotels across the country. He cooked at Roux, Fenouil and Carlyle in Portland before making a name for himself as a pastry chef at Ten 01. His flourless chocolate cake with sage ice cream and whiskeycaramel sauce was named Dessert of the Year by Willamette Week in 2008, and he was invited to be a guest chef at the International Pinot Noir Celebration in 2009 and 2010. He is currently the kitchen manager at KitchenCru Culinary Prepspace, a commissary kitchen in Old Town Portland, and chef of TenTop, a monthly supper club.
Sarah joined Gramercy Tavern with Executive Chef Tom Colicchio in 1998. Within six months, she was promoted to sous-chef—the first woman to be so in the Danny Meyer organization. In 2000 she was named executive sous-chef for the opening of Gramercy Tavern’s sister restaurant, Eleven Madison Park, where she worked until moving to San Francisco in 2004. There she opened Frisson with Chef Daniel Patterson, becoming the executive chef upon his departure in 2006. In 2007, Chef Mitchell Rosenthal, co-owner of Town Hall and Salt House, approached Sarah to be executive chef at Anchor and Hope. She moved to Portland in 2010, when the Rosenthal brothers and Doug Washington opened Irving Street Kitchen in Portland’s Pearl District.
As a local forager, Denise travels the Pacific Northwest to meet the farmers and ranchers who supply our tables with fresh, locally grown food, with an eye toward bringing the products from local farms to shoppers via Whole Foods Market. Having grown up on a farm in Ohio, she has always cared deeply about where our food comes from and the people behind the products on grocery store shelves. Denise has worked for Whole Foods Market for over 13 years on both coasts, and has been in the Pacific Northwest since 1999. She is the lookout for new and distinctive food-cart products that she might be able to stock in Whole Foods Market stores around the region.
A native Portlander and Reed College fine-arts grad, Jehnee moved to the San Francisco Bay Area to study painting, only to have her plans derailed by food. She became a 4 am pie baker in 1994, and spent the next 12 years working in the Bay Area’s finest restaurants, including Chez Panisse in Berkeley, Bakesale Betty in Oakland and Quince restaurant in San Francisco. When her husband entered physician assistant school at OHSU, Jehnee returned to Portland and worked at Gotham Building Tavern, Bluehour and Clarklewis. In 2009 she opened Suzette, a creperie and dessert cart in a vintage Airstream trailer on Northeast Alberta Street. Suzette moved to a brick-and-mortar building at 3342 SE Belmont St. in February 2012.
Kitchen manager at KitchenCru Culinary Prepspace
Executive chef at Irving Street Kitchen
West Coast forager for Whole Foods Market
Chef and owner of Suzette
WHAT’S NEW THIS YEAR: MORE CARTS, MORE ROOM AND OMSI’S CULINARY STAGE
OMSI presents the science behind the food with demonstrations by local chefs and cart owners. Whole Foods Market brings culinary expert Ken Rubin of the Natural Epicurean Academy of Culinary Arts to show off his skills breaking down a side of beef. Savvy chef Abby Fammartino of Abby’s Kitchen deconstructs the barrier between eater, kitchen and food producer. Kevin Sandri, formerly of Garden State, demonstrates easy meals that are local and healthy on behalf of his new project, Farm to Fit. Last year’s Eat Mobile Judges’ Choice winner, Han Ly Hwang of Kim Jong Grillin’, demos his family’s recipe for Korean short ribs and his experience transitioning from food cart to a brick-and-mortar restaurant. Also taking the stage will be Jeff McCarthy of KitchenCru to demo modernist food techniques.
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Willamette Week APRIL 4, 2012 wweek.com
808 GRINDS ARTIGIANO ALTENGARTZ BRATWURST AYBLA GRILL BATAVIA BAGEL & BOX BLUES CITY BISCUITS BORA BORA BRISKETS BREAKFAST LUNCH TODAY CREPERIE DU LYS DUMP TRUCK EL GALLO TAQUERIA EMAME’S ETHIOPIAN EUROTRASH FIFTY LICKS FLAVOURSPOT FUEGO DE LOTUS GAUFRE GOURMET GAMILA HOG TIME HUNGRY HEART CUPCAKES KOI FUSION KURE LONDON PASTY CO. LA COCINA DE CHEPE LARDO MIRA’S LADLE MINI SANDWICH SHACK NIKKY & LEFTY’S OREGON ICE WORKS PBJS GRILLED PDX 671 PIE SPOT ROBB’S REALLY GOOD FOOD THE ROLLING STOVES GIMME SANDWICH ROSHAMBO SCOOP SHUT UP AND EAT SIP SNOW WHITE CREPE CART SOMTUM GAI YANG SO COLD SHAVED ICE SOUP CYCLE TACO PEDALER TIMBER’S DOG HOUSE PDX VIETNAMESE BÁNH MI SANDWICHES VIOLETTA WHIFFIES FRIED PIES YOGIO AND MORE!
VISUAL ARTS
CULTURE
FAMILY PHOTO: Ryan Wilson Paulsen, Anna Gray and their son, Calder, at the crypt of landscape designer Frederick Olmsted.
DOUBLE ENCRYPTED RYAN WILSON PAULSEN AND ANNA GRAY’S ARTISTIC MONOGAMY AT DISJECTA’S BIENNIAL. BY R IC H A R D SP E E R
visarts@wweek.com
It’s an image that could keep you up at night: a young man, his wife, and their child lay atop the bolted entrance to a family crypt. The parents’ eyes are closed as the child rests limply on his mother’s body. Behind them, an enormous tombstone; beneath them, a society of corpses. Call it existential, morose or just plain creepy, this is the family portrait reimagined as memento mori. It’s part of a series of 20 photographs entitled Giants in the Earth, a highlight of Disjecta’s dynamic Portland 2012: A Biennial of Contemporary Art. Last August, the husband-and-wife duo in the photo, Ryan Wilson Paulsen and Anna Gray, toted their 1-year-old son, Calder, with them on a road trip up the East Coast to visit and photograph themselves at the gravesites of notable cultural figures. Among the graves were those of landscape
designer Frederick Olmsted, writer Harriet Jacobs, poets Wallace Stevens and E.E. Cummings, and abstract painters Jackson Pollock and Piet Mondrian. From each gravesite, the pair also pulled handfuls of weeds, which they later scanned and turned into prints. Finally, they planted those weeds in a garden, cataloging them and keeping the seeds they produced. This is exactly the manner of earnest art project legions of recent grads would kill to take on. Paulsen and Gray are living the collaborative artist’s dream: Spending all day and all night with one another in the studio and in the field, hatching ideas and crafting art objects, all while raising a toddler. For them, there’s zero separation between artistic and family life. Moreover, they make art together and only together. In their brand of aesthetic monogamy, neither undertakes a side project that would exclude the other. According to their gallery rep, Jane Beebe of PDX Contemporary Art, the arrangement couldn’t be more productive. “I think their collaboration strengthens, rather than weakens, their work,” she says. “They’re doing something smart, engaging and fresh, and while there’s
a rigor to it, it’s not a grim, intellectual rigor that you can’t grasp—it’s approachable.” Paulsen, 33, is tall and lanky, with a wheat-cracked voice and boyish manner, while Gray, 28, has a worldlier, slightly smoldering manner. They met in 2005 as PNCA undergrads, married in 2008 and began collaborating exclusively two years later, when they graduated from Portland State University’s master’s program. Today, batting ideas around in their book-lined home studio in Goose Hollow, the two often seem of one mind. They finish one another’s sentences in the same dialect of academic art-speak, marked with words like “semiotic,” “diaristic,” “practice” and “cultural commons.” They share the same email address and use the royal “we” in correspondence. They even team-teach the same art course at PSU. They have idiosyncrasies—Paulsen smokes cigarettes while Gray does not, and Paulsen researches in depth while Gray goes for breadth—but the two are united where it counts. “The Disjecta pieces are some of the works we’ve been making about the idea of influence: how, once a person is dead, their influence continues, but their individual character doesn’t matter anymore,” Paulsen says. “It’s also about the question of our invasiveness as artists,” Gray continues. “If we photograph Wallace Stevens’ grave,
it doesn’t seem as invasive as if we photographed the person buried next to him.” With a blend of sincerity, invention and wit, the couple’s projects have garnered national interest. In March, their colorcoded book indexes were exhibited at Volta, a satellite art fair of the prestigious Armory Show in New York City. In midMay, several of the couple’s pieces travel to the ArtPadSF fair in San Francisco, followed in July by a local exhibit themed around political dissent at PDX Contemporary Art. Then they traveled to Southern California for the San Diego Art Museum’s summer salon series. For a couple only two years out of grad school, all this attention would seem to point toward the beginning of a charmed life. Which makes the stakes that much higher. “Part of what makes it all interesting is the certain amount of risk involved when your professional life and personal life are integrated, not compartmentalized,” Gray says. “If something goes wrong, you lose more than just a husband or an art partner; you could lose both.” Without skipping a beat, Paulsen pipes up: “So far, so good.” GO: Gray and Paulsen’s Giants in the Earth remains on view at Disjecta, 8371 N Interstate Ave., until April 28. For more information, visit disjecta.org, pdxcontemporaryart.com and ryannaprojects.com. Willamette Week APRIL 4, 2012 wweek.com
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We’re open!
= WW Pick. Highly recommended. By RUTH BROWN. PRICES: $: Most entrees under $10. $$: $10-$20. $$$: $20-$30. $$$$: Above $30. Editor: MARTIN CIZMAR. Email: dish@wweek.com. See page 3 for submission instructions.
WEDNESDAY, APRIL 4
EAT MOBILE MIKE GRIPPI
Opa!!
FOOD & DRINK
Cidermakers Dinner at Clarklewis
Yiayia’s Dishes a la CART!
On S.W. Stark (between 2nd & 3rd)
503-705-1001 Night of the Living Donors
Friday, April 6th, 2012 3-8 PM Jupiter Hotel, 800 E Burnside, Portland Call 1-800-RED CROSS or visit redcrossblood.org and enter sponsor code: zombiesquad All presenting donors get a free Qdoba burrito to fuel their fight. Enter to win prizes from Portland’s “May of the Dead” celebration, Things From Another World comic book store and Zombie Squad - Oregon Chapter!
UPCOMING IN-STORE PERFORMANCES JOSHUA P. JAMES & THE PAPER PLANES
FRIDAY 4/6 @ 6PM
Formed in early 2011, Joshua P. James & The Paper Planes got the wild notion that if you take a folk singer’s simply strummed, lyric-centric tunes and combine that with the tight, albeit non-conventional, stylings of an upright bassist and the backbone of a drummer who grew up playing in metal bands, that something good might result. Their debut full-length is ‘Please Please.’
RECORD RELEASE EVENT! CURTIS SALGADO
SATURDAY 4/14 @ 2PM
Award-winning vocalist/songwriter/harmonica icon Curtis Salgado sings and plays with soulful authority, never giving less than 100 percent. He plays each and every show like it’s the most important gig of his career. With his Alligator Records debut ‘Soul Shot’ Salgado is set to reach the largest audience of his career. ‘Soul Shot’ was produced by funk and R&B guitarist Marlon McClain, drummer Tony Braunagel and co-produced by Salgado. The album speaks loud and clear to contemporary audiences, carrying on the timeless spirit of 1960’s and ‘70s R&B.
RECORD RELEASE EVENT! SOUL VACCINATION
SUNDAY 4/15 @ 3PM
Soul Vaccination is one of the hottest funk bands in the Pacific Northwest. On July 4th, 2011, Soul Vaccination and former Tower of Power guitarist Bruce Conte, closed the Waterfront Blues Festival for over 20,000 enthusiastic R&B, funk, and soul fans. The band followed with two sold-out shows, recorded live at Jimmy Mak’s. Along with the help of Brad Wager, one of the area’s finest audio engineers, Soul Vaccination came away with ‘What Is Hip?’ the amazing recording of their awe-inspiring performance featuring the legendary Bruce Conte.
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Willamette Week APRIL 4, 2012 wweek.com
The Northwest Cider Association is putting on its first Portland cidermakers dinner. The event will begin with an hourlong meet-and-greet with real-life cidermakers, before a four-course meal from Clarklewis chef Dolan Lane, with two Northwest cider pairings for every dish. Tickets at Clarklewis or brownpapertickets.com/event/230161. Clarklewis, 1001 SE Water Ave., 235-2294. 6 pm. $80 for members of the Northwest Cider Association, $85 for non-members. 21+.
Science Behind the Cocktail
Canadian Mist is teaching science! Or possibly doing a promo event. Either way, two of its reps will be shaking up cocktails and discussing the science behind them at this event inexplicably hosted by the Oregon Historical Society. Hors d’oeurves, drinks and handson demos are promised. RSVP to phyllis_kelly@b-f.com, or call 1-800-268-7266 to reserve a space. Oregon Historical Society, 1200 SW Park Ave., 306-5270. 6-8 pm. Free for OHS members, $10 for nonmembers. 21+.
FRIDAY, APRIL 6 Spring Beer and Wine Fest
For those who enjoy eating and drinking in the tranquil environs of the Oregon Convention Center, the Spring Beer and Wine Festival is back for its 18th year. Twentyeight breweries and 24 wineries will be offering sips of their wares, along with food from local eateries and food companies, and cheese from seven local dairies. Oregon Convention Center , 777 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 235-7575. Noon-11 pm Friday-Saturday, April 6-7. $5 Admission, $10 souvenir beer glass, $5 plastic beer mug (required for beer tasting), $1 for sampling tokens.
SATURDAY, APRIL 7 Code Orange Easter Egg Drop
Hope City Church will drop 15,000 eggs from a freaking helicopter. Kids up to age 12 will be able to collect them. There also will be face-painting, a bouncy house and photos with the Easter bunny. Brentwood Park, Southeast 62nd Avenue and Duke Street. 11 am-noon. Free. Pre-register at CodeOrangeEaster.com.
SUNDAY, APRIL 8 Easter at Pix
This Easter Sunday, both Pix Pâtisserie locations will hide 50 eggs, each filled with up to $50 in “tasty treats.” The North Williams location will also host a tea service; $30 gets you a pot of Townshend’s tea and a range of sweet and savory snacks. Pix Patisserie-North, 3901 N Williams Ave., 282-6539. Tea service 11 am-3 pm. Tea service $30.
Easter Brunch and Buffet at the Heathman
The Heathman does its usual fancy brunch and buffet thing for Easter. The brunch menu will feature specials like French toast Napoleon, duck confit cassoulet, Spring Chinook salmon, roast leg of lamb and a crazy array of desserts. The Heathman Restaurant and Bar, 1001 SW Broadway, 790-7752. Brunch 9 am-3 pm, buffet 9:30 am-2 pm. Buffet: adults $41, children 12 and under $18; brunch à la carte.
RING OF SMOKE: A brisket sandwich and slaw.
THESE GUYS BROOKLYN Who has two thumbs, bad-ass heavy-metal beards and huge piles of smoked meat? These Guys Brooklyn. The titular guys are hirsute co-owners David Enfield and Ben Hildreth, who serve smoked pork and beef in sandwiches and tacos five nights a week from a marshmallow-like white trailer in the Order this: Any of the sandwiches. parking lot of the Brooklyn Best deal: Six genuinely spicy chicken wings for $6. Park Pub. I’ll pass: The pork-and-slaw “Brooklyn” They take their smoktaco ($3) is too sweet for my taste. ing seriously and the final product shows it—tender, smoke-ringed brisket, sweet pulled pork and smoky cubes of dense clod heart, a notoriously tough cut from the steer’s shoulder rendered merely chewy by a long, slow cook over cherry, hazelnut and plum wood. The meat comes in sandwiches with slaw ($8.50-$9) or on tortillas with onion and cilantro ($2-$3). While I like both pretty well, neither is quite as impressive as These Guys’ chicken wings, doused in a thick, garlicky sauce that delivers a kick too many local hot wings lack. Don’t skip the specials; on a recent visit, the guys served a pretty excellent Reuben, stacked so high with kraut and deli pastrami I had to cut it into strips. Eat your order inside, Ron Swanson style, with a double whiskey from the pub’s 150-bottle list. Who has two thumbs and a full belly? BEN WATERHOUSE. EAT: These Guys Brooklyn, 3400 SE Milwaukie Ave., theseguysbrooklyn.com. 5-10 pm Tuesday-Saturday. $.
DRANK
BAD BUNNY IMPERIAL CREAM ALE (ALAMEDA BREWING CO.) The bubblegum-pink wax seal on Alameda’s Bad Bunny Easter-themed spring seasonal should have been the tip-off. But the concept of an imperial cream ale was just too interesting to pass up. Cream ales are usually light and crisp—essentially an ale version of a Pilsner— with low alcohol content. Alameda added large quantities of Pilsner malt and candi sugar to Bad Bunny, doubling the alcohol to 8.2 percent in the process. The result is a shockingly sweet beer with no tangible bitterness or complexity beyond hints of peach and nutmeg. It quickly becomes cloying, with the lack of balance making it difficult to get through a full glass. As an experimental seasonal, Bad Bunny is an interesting, if not totally successful, attempt at making an unusual imperial. It’ll nestle nicely in an adult Easter basket between a bag of jelly beans and some marshmallow Peeps, but beware of what’s inside that pink wax. PENELOPE BASS.
FOOD & DRINK LEAHNASH.COM
REVIEW
GOOD FOR ONE FREE SOFT DRINK
Hamburger Mary’s 19 NW 5th Ave Portland Must present coupon at time of purchase. Limit one soft drink per customer. One coupon per customer per visit. Offer good with any purchase. Limited time offer.
Expires: 04/12/2012
Shandong cuisine of northern china
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if that’s your thing. In addition to the ramen, the menu offers a shotgun blast to the wall map: Korean pickles, Momofuku-style folded steamed buns that look like little Chinese gorditas, fusion BY M AT T H E W KO R F H AGE 243-2122 forms of American Midwestern and Southern treats (namely, Twinkies and fried pies). Of With its clean lines, design-conscious self-brand- these, the pickles come with variable success: ing and techy iconography, Boke Bowl’s interior the kimchee ($1) seems a bit young (high acidity, looks more than anything like an Apple store. It’s low spice), but the soy-pickled shiitakes ($1) are the iPad of Portland ramen houses: a coolly prag- a more than pleasant garnish. The little steamed matic American gloss on Asian aesthetics and cui- buns ($7 for three) are uniformly pleasant but are sine, and a place where convenience comes in the a quite small meal without sides, and so are recform of high-priced, minimalist efficiency. Even ommended with the green-onion ginger rice ($1) when the place is full, meals often arrive within or the fried pears ($2.50), which have the halfrubberized consistency of dried minutes of being ordered at the apricot and an oily sweet taste counter, leaving precious little Order this: Caramelized fennel and are deeply addictive. The time to watch the noodles being dashi ($8.50) with pork belly ($1.50) and slow-poached egg miso butterscotch Twinkie ($3) made at the restaurant’s rear. ($1) add-ons. Or pork dashi Unlike Apple’s closed mani- ($9) with fried chicken ($3). It’s was actually quite rich and subtle, and amounts to something of a folds, however, at Boke Bowl ramen for porch-sitters. coup, if also a meal best shared. everything is modular. In a I’ll pass: The pickle plate ($6) a little work in a town Though Boke Bowl is primarily a move borrowed from old-time needs that knows its pickles. And lunch spot, it does open Thursday ice cream shops, the menu con- when it comes to the halfI would like my half to nights for its Boke Bird dinners, sists of a matrix of wall-hung chicken, be the legs and the thighs. which offer a half-chicken and wooden slats that can be added sides for $25 that will comfortor removed at will, depending on what’s available. (This may hark back to Boke’s ably serve two (or two very thin people and a beginnings as a monthly pop-up restaurant; flex- child, which I discovered by observation.) Here ibility is in the place’s DNA.) You choose your the Apple store parallel comes back, with a wait dashi (broth) from pork ($9), caramelized fennel stretching beyond the promised 30 minutes for ($8.50), seafood miso ($10) or the only occasion- a hyped product. The chicken is slow-cooked for ally available duck ($15), and then may bring 48 hours, chilled, then fried, leading to a gently in somewhat eccentric add-ons to taste, with crisp outer texture and a tender inside—though options including a lugubriously buttermilk-fried not quite as tender or juicy as the process would lead one to expect. The white meat can be slightly chicken ($3) and cornmeal-crusted oysters ($3). The mammoth bowls are beautifully complex, overcooked, but the garlic-ginger soy sauce, and bespeak a flavor profile as Northwest conti- especially with the addition of both green and nental as it is Japanese. Authenticity, after all, fried onions, was salty, sweet and bitter in just is the hobgoblin of narrow palates. The dashis the right proportions. Boke Bowl’s chef and owner are at play with are surprisingly low-sodium, the meat broths rich with the fat of the pork or duck confit, the cuisine, and even with the idea of a restaurant. It’s noodles mixed in the broth with not only scallion a sense of play that sneaks into the experience of and bamboo but squash. At times, in the meat eating. It’s fun to be at Boke Bowl. It just works. broths I wished for more salt—a rarity for me in restaurants. The vegetarian ginger-spiked fennel EAT: Boke Bowl, 1028 SE Water Ave., 719-5698, bokebowl.com. 10:30 am-3 pm Monday-Friday dashi is, however, one of my favorite broths in (5-9:30 pm Thursday), 10 am–4 pm Saturday. $$. town, especially with pork belly ($1.50) added,
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MUSIC
APRIL 4-10 PROFILE
= WW Pick. Highly recommended.
SCRIPTONES.CO.UK
Prices listed are sometimes for advance ticket sales. At-the-door increases and socalled convenience charges may apply. Event lineups are subject to change after WW’s press deadlines. Editor: CASEY JARMAN. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, go to wweek.com/ submitevents and follow submission directions. All shows should be submitted two weeks or more in advance of event. Press kits, CDs and especially vinyl can be sent to Music Desk, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Please include show or release date information with all physical mailings. Email: cjarman@wweek.com. Fax: 243-1115.
WEDNESDAY, APRIL 4 Rodrigo y Gabriela, C.U.B.A.
[CLASSICAL THUNDER] Mexico’s Rodrigo y Gabriela are the perfect musical sponges, former metalheads who integrate thunder beautifully with classical guitar, creating a percussive and thickly layered mishmash that’s every bit as intricate as a full orchestra. On the pair’s fourth album, this year’s Area 52, the instrumental musicians team with a bevy of Cubanos as well as sitar player Anoushka Shankar (daughter of Ravi) to further bolster their sound. The result is explosive, and further evidence that the duo will remain the most exciting thing to happen to classical guitar in eons while continuing to evolve. AP KRYZA. Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, 1037 SW Broadway, 248-4335. 8 pm. $40 advance, $45 day of show. All ages.
THURSDAY, APRIL 5 Viva Voce, 1939 Ensemble, Battleme
[WEIGHTY ROCK] Let’s get this straight. Husband-and-wife rockers Kevin and Anita Robinson started as Viva Voce in the mid-’90s. They’ve tested folkier waters (Blue Giant), drank from the psych-rock goblet (Viva Voce), put family first (the Robinsons) and collaborated with mega-bands (the Shins). Bound throughout, the two-headed chameleon is, at least for tonight, going by Psychedelic Famile Band, a “proper band” according to Mr. Robinson, “to play whatever tunes goes from our brain to fingers.” Two giant, hard-rockwired brains are better than one, as it turns out. MARK STOCK. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 2883895. 9 pm. $12. 21+.
Sole, Bleubird, Josh Martinez, VTRN
FILASTINE.COM
[POSTMODERN HIP-HOP] I’m not sure if anyone has described Sole as the Trent Reznor of hip-hop yet, but last year’s Hello Cruel World (the latest in
a prolific string of releases under the Sole and the Skyrider Band moniker since that “group’s” excellent 2007 debut) certainly gives that impression. Like the Nine Inch Nails godhead, Sole draws unlikely collaborators (Xiu Xiu is more Morrissey than Morrissey ever was; Lil B is the most loved/hated MC of the moment) and forces listeners to face the ugliness of the times. The new material is as synth-driven as your average Nine Inch Nails record, too, though the past five years have found the deeply skilled Anticon co-founder dropping verses over rock, dub and absolute chaos. Expect somewhat of a party atmosphere tonight, though, as the Chicharones’ Josh Martinez is on hand and Fake Four Records’ Ceschi Ramos seems to bring out the best in people. CASEY JARMAN. Ted’s (at Berbati’s), 231 SW Ankeny St. 9 pm. $10. 21+.
The Polyphonic Spree, New Fumes
[CHORAL POWER-POP] Polyphonic Spree tours have to be a little difficult to coordinate. With a fluctuating lineup of 12 to 20-odd members, there’s just not a bus big enough to keep everyone comfortable. So, since the Dallas collective’s last tour in 2007, frontman Tim DeLaughter (whose old band, Tripping Daisy, penned the altrock radio hit “I Got a Girl”) has kept himself busy with film scores and side projects aplenty. But now that the robe-clad rock outfit is back on the road, a new generation of fans— probably acquainted with the Spree via its endless commercial/TV/movie soundtracking—can try and figure out what all the fuss is about and debate whether DeLaughter truly has a messiah complex. If the promotional video for uncomfortably Flaming Lipsesque new single “What Would You Do?” is any indication, the respective answers are “nothing” and “most definitely.” Still, the live show looks like a party. CASEY JARMAN. Wonder Ballroom, 128 NE Russell St. 9 pm. $18 advance, $20 day of show. All ages.
TOP FIVE
CONT. on page 30
BY FILASTIN E
FILASTINE’S FAVORITE CITIES TO PLAY Vancouver, B.C. Bass music is huge. The audiences are smart. Activism/politics in art aren’t considered taboo like in the states. Yogyakarta, Indonesia An autonomous city-state sultanate, where the sultan is some kind of lefty artist. Seems you can’t take a step without bumping into a graffiti collective or a gang of punks on tall bikes. Barcelona, Spain Nothing beats strolling through the cobbled streets at dawn after playing some all-night illegal party. Black Rock City, Nev. Burning Man is now a temporary metropolis. As with any city, there are imbeciles and cheesy nightclubs, but in smaller proportion, with the benefit of a unique tension between survivalism and hedonism. Tunis, Tunisia I’ve only performed there once, but it was explosive, my favorite gig in years, taking place in a de-sanctified cathedral to a young and energetic crowd that would soon overthrow dictator Ben Ali. SEE IT: Filastine plays the Whiskey Bar, 31 NW 1st Ave., on Saturday. April 7, with Heyoka, AfroQBen and Claetron. 10 pm. $15. 21+.
FRONT TO BACK THE WEDDING PRESENT PROVES THAT THE ALBUM ISN’T DEAD, IT’S REANIMATED. BY RO BERT HA M
243-2122
Simon Reynolds, the music and culture critic, put it best in his book Retromania: “When a band has been around long enough, there is always going to be more demand from the fan base for a careerpeak classic than for the latest musical effort.” That explains why the local concert calendar has lately been spotted with artists performing old albums in their entirety. It’s a phenomenon that began with the All Tomorrow’s Parties festival in the U.K., which, since 2005, has made its name by persuading acts like Belle & Sebastian, the Melvins and Cat Power to re-create single moments from their discographies. Many of the artists who participated in those concerts then took their shows on the road, touring with a set either wholly or partially focused on performing an album in its entirety. The concept quickly spread to classic rock, with Van Morrison performing Astral Weeks at the Hollywood Bowl in 2008 and Rush devoting a chunk of its already lengthy live show last year to playing all of Moving Pictures. Now, it’s an almost expected move for a band or artist of a certain age to make, especially if the anniversary of an album’s release is to be celebrated or a deluxe reissue is to be promoted. “There’s a nostalgic attachment to these records,” says David Gedge, the sole original member of longrunning British band the Wedding Present, and no stranger to the revivalist economy. “Fans like to relive that moment when they bought the record all those years ago, to relive that part of their past. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. It’s quite like seeing an old film.” The 51-year-old guitarist-songwriter has spent much of the past five years bringing his middleaged fans back to their youth. In that time, he’s done two world tours, each focused on one of his band’s first two albums (1987’s George Best and 1989’s Bizarro). “I’ve always been more about looking forward than dwelling on an old album,” Gedge says of his initial reaction to doing these tours. “So, I reluc-
tantly went into it, but I’ve been really pleased with it. It was a nice challenge to put yourself back 20 years and forget what you’ve learned, really.” And now he’s doing it again with a tour that finds the current Wedding Present lineup running through the 1991 album Seamonsters, while also supporting newly released disc Valentina. While the names of the people involved in the Wedding Present these past 20 years have changed, the band’s approach to songwriting has not. The jangly post-punk outfit has always maintained a cult status in the U.S., appealing primarily to Anglophiles and music geeks. By contrast, in the Wedding Present’s native U.K., the band pulled off a run of 12 straight top-30 chart singles in 1992, a feat matched only by Elvis Presley in 1957. Valentina still sounds like vintage Wedding Present: frenzied and cutting guitars underpinned with Gedge’s lyrics about the damage people do to one another in the name of love and lust. It’s a fine album, but new material will probably be overshadowed by Seamonsters in the mind of concertgoers. That 21-year-old record holds a particularly special place in the hearts of the band’s American fans, perhaps because it found the Wedding Present fully embracing the sonic influences of stateside groups like the Pixies and Pavement (Gedge and company covered that band’s “Box Elder” in 1990). Seamonsters, produced by the infamous, prodigious Steve Albini, emphasized recording live to tape with few overdubs—the album has a booming, present feel to it, as if you were listening in on a particularly great band practice one floor below you. In other words, it’s the perfect candidate for a full-album re-creation. Reliving the songs from Seamonsters has been difficult for the man who wrote them. “It’s been a particularly challenging experience for all,” Gedge says. “It’s an intense collection of songs. But there’s also value in looking back. It’s been quite nice to get my lyrics out and remember the feelings and emotions behind them.” The album—filled with tales of petty jealousy, unrequited longing and bedroom dalliances—will probably have a similarly intense effect on Gedge’s fans. They have, after all, been waiting to hear it for 20 years. SEE IT: The Wedding Present plays Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., on Saturday, April 7, with Pinky Piglets. 9 pm. $15. 21+.
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MUSIC
FRIDAY-SATURDAY
FRIDAY, APRIL 6
NATHAN CARSON. Plan B, 1305 SE 8th Ave., 230-9020. 8 pm. $5. 21+.
Uncle Kracker, Sonia Leigh, Ty Stone
Throw Me the Statue, Mt. St. Helens Vietnam Band, Hausu
[POP COUNTRY] Being a palatable alternative to Kid Rock isn’t a terribly illustrious position in life, but it’s one that Uncle Kracker has taken to with dignity and aplomb. After beginning his career as a sorta-kinda-almost rapper with 2000’s Double Wide, Uncle Kracker has spent the past decade transforming himself, butterfly-style, into a country-pop songsmith. Kracker is currently touring on the single “Hometown,” which does a fair job of lionizing small-town America in a manner constitutionally resistant to subtext. SHANE DANAHER. Aladdin Theater, 3017 SE Milwaukie Ave., 234-9694. 8 pm. $20. 21+.
Greg Georgeson, Snapperheads
Cults, Spectrals, Mrs. Magician
Cull, Spectral Tombs, Hang the Old Year
SATURDAY, APRIL 7
[ROCK] Greg Georgeson is the songwriter, lead guitarist and sometimes lead vocalist for Sequel, the most successful Northwest band of the early ’80s. The band’s sound was often like the McCoys or Kingsmen backed by the Move or the Who: BIG sound, but catchy and danceable as well. The band has a new lease on life, thanks to the Internet: European music fans, rabid for the ’80s, are buying CDs by the score. Sequel doesn’t get out much these days: Georgeson has led Tommy Tutone’s band for more than a decade, and continues to write songs with hooks you could hang a semi truck from. DAN DEPREZ. Duff’s Garage, 1635 SE 7th Ave., 234-2337. 9:30 pm. Cover. 21+.
[CRUST METAL] Like the passage of time, like the snake swallowing its tail, Cull performs its final concert and releases an album to commemorate its existence. This plodding, plaintive eco-doom quartet exudes aching sadness at maximum volume, lamenting for a world overrun by a hopeless race of ruiners. Hard to argue with that. Also on the bill is local black-metal act Spectral Tombs—a band that’s been taking major strides of late, thanks in part to a recent album of mid-fi, crust-inspired darkness. T O S H A C K H I G H W AY. C O M
[INDIE POP] That place you think Throw Me the Statue’s songs are going? That’s where they’ll go. The Seattle-based four-piece, belying its demanding name, is generous with listeners, nestling a Barsuk Records pop sensibility, a K Records lo-fi aesthetic and all the breeziness of the Sound in one hooky indie-pop package. TMTS hasn’t thrown fans much since 2009’s Creaturesque, but the band’s Twitter account promises it’s “makin new jams.” Expect to hear some tonight. JONATHAN FROCHTZWAJG. Star Theater, 13 NW 6th Ave. 9 pm. $12.
[NEO-SPECTORIAN] The cover of Cults’ much blogged-about selftitled 2011 debut is a black-andwhite photo of guitarist Brian Oblivion and singer Madelina Follin in a state of rocking out. They must not be listening to their own music. The band’s twinkling pop doesn’t really lend itself to that kind of thrashing about. But it’s still quite pretty, updating the charm of ’60s girl groups for the chillwave era, spritzing bright harmonies with chiming glockenspiel and bits of sonic ephemera. It’s less Wall of Sound, more shower of sparkles. MATTHEW SINGER. Wonder Ballroom, 128 NE Russell St., 2848686. 9 pm. $14 advance, $16 day of show. All ages.
Acid Baby Jesus, Youthbitch, Shivas
[GREEKS IN THE GARAGE] Acid Baby Jesus is a righteously silly name for a band. But like Archers of Loaf and Diarrhea Planet before it, this Greek quartet makes up for its chosen moniker by playing some righteously great music. The group’s 2011 self-titled release is a fuzzy, sleazy beast that cuts through the usual brain-dead dipshit strain of much European modern garage rock by infecting
MIC CHECK
BY CASEY JA RMA N
SWERVEDRIVER’S ADAM FRANKLIN It wasn’t headline news when Swervedriver quietly broke up in 1998. The British quartet, often lumped into the “shoegaze” genre but more muscular and freewheeling than most of its contemporaries, was sonically influential but, aside from some early chart success in its native England, rarely high-profile. Still, the band’s discography, most of which is out of print in the U.S., is full of gems from the carnivalesque Raise EP to the band’s swan song, 99th Dream. Swervedriver’s best-known album in the U.S., 1993 release Mezcal Head, was reissued and expanded not long after the band’s 2008 reformation. We asked frontman Adam Franklin about the circumstances surrounding that album’s creation. Adam Franklin: “There was a lot of political upheaval in the world. Yugoslavia was collapsing and the whole thing with Bosnia, and there was this upsurge of skinheads and right-wing parties in Eastern Germany. The original working titles of the songs were based on that. ‘A Change is Gonna Come’...the original working title for that was ‘Bosnian Refugee,’ for some strange reason. I don’t quite know why. ‘Girl on a Motorbike’ was originally called ‘Rise of the Right.’ That was the working title all the way through recording it. But ‘Girl on a Motorbike’ sounded much more like a Swervedriver song. ” SEE IT: Swervedriver plays Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., on Thursday, April 5, with Hawkeye. 9 pm. $16 advance, $18 day of show. 21+.
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SATURDAY it with reverb-drenched fury and cocksure attitude. It’s a straight-up throwback happening, and it freaks me out. ROBERT HAM. East End, 203 SE Grand Ave., 232-0056. 9 pm. $6. 21+.
Sleigh Bells, Javelin, Elite Gymnastics
[BLOG POP] Take a lovely indie chanteuse with hints of a celebuteen past and more pluck than range. Add an adorably scruffy fretishist content to craft art-metal riffs midst the shadows backstage. Let them meet cute in Brooklyn, devise damnably catchy songbook absent filler—or, somehow, choruses—set blogsophere to simmer and await global dominion. That, at least, seemed the plan for Sleigh Bells—Alexis Krauss and Derek E. Miller, alongside a touring guitarist—whose perfectly pitched ambitions led to titling the lead single from sophomore album Reign Of Terror as “Comeback Kid’ and then actually forging a propulsive squawk confection that may well score the apocalypse. The duo-plus-one’s meteoric rise only stalled during February’s SNL showcase, where Krauss’ vocal limitations overwhelmed the tunes’ thumping novelty. Still, Sleigh Bells are that rarest of snowflakes: An Internet meme best understood live. JAY HORTON. Roseland Theater, 8 NW 6th Ave. 9 pm. $20. All ages.
MUSIC
DATES HERE
MAKE IT A NIGHT Present that night’s show ticket and get $3 off any menu item Sun - Thur in the dining room
Recess: Heyoka, Filastine, AfroQBen, Claetron
[TRANSNATIONAL ELECTROBASS] World music meets club electronica meets found sounds (from shopping carts to soup cans) as Barcelona-based percussionist-activist Filastine layers tabla and samba beats he studied at the source with samples of old orchestral recordings, hip-hop beats, Javanese gamelan and vocals, dubstep, drum kits, snippets of voices ranging from Foucault to Glenn Beck, cellos, guitars and trumpet—all pounded together with deep, heavy bass into a surprisingly cohesive, cinematic and danceable mix. This is a soundtrack to the global 21st century. BRETT CAMPBELL. The Whiskey Bar, 31 NW 1st Ave., 227-0405. 10 pm. $7. 21+.
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Housse de Racket, Wax Fingers, No Kind of Rider
[FRANCOPOP] Housse de Racket (roughly translated as “tennis racket cover”) didn’t impress me much when it opened for fellow French popsters Yelle here last year. But in the months since, I’ve been obsessively playing the duo’s debut album, Alesia. Working with producer Philippe Zdar, HDR was able to find the threads that connect their mutual influences of
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ALBUM REVIEW
RADIATION CITY COOL NIGHTMARE (TENDER LOVING EMPIRE) [FUTURE POP] I don’t think the members of Radiation City are perfectionists, but together they make some perfect pop music. The Portland quintet’s live shows sound like elaborately produced studio recordings, and its spacey, soulful 2011 debut record sounded too otherworldly and precise to have come from a city known for rustic folk-pop and muddy doom metal. And now Radiation City sounds like it’s from another planet. The Cool Nightmare EP—with all its spy-movie twang and cosmic reverb—hints at sexy European influences like Portishead and Air (I’m also convinced some of Rad City’s roots can be traced to the Cardigans’ spacey ’90s super-hit, “Lovefool”) without undercutting the band’s DIY credentials. It can be hard to believe, at times, that this explosive and cinematic sevensong collection was recorded by the band’s members in a remote cabin and a basement. Not that Cool Nightmare sounds stuffy. Though the recordings are largely pristine, one hears little idiosyncrasies— random amplifier buzz, studio voices haunting tracks, the depressingly underwhelming round of applause midway through “Hide From the Night”—that could presumably be manicured by some outside producer to sound as cool as Coldplay. But those imperfections keep Cool Nightmare real. After all, in the wrong hands, singer/songwriter/pianist Lizzy Ellison becomes Adele (no, really, she can sing like crazy) and the whole thing blows up in Radiation City’s face. Cool Nightmare stands proudly above the blog-buzz muck because this band is brilliant, courageous and largely democratic. Cameron Spies and co. have diverse enough tastes to keep the music entirely unpredictable, but they’re focused enough to keep it all dry under the same umbrella. These are songs that really need to be described in parts: “Find It of Use” starts like a Latin-jazz advertising jingle played in reverse before launching into what literally sounds like a countdown and blastoff; “Eye of Yours” takes a mid-song tropical vacation; “Winter Blind” opens with a robot army on the march and ends with a twisted reinterpretation of David Bowie’s “Five Years” (really, the whole EP is on a bit of a death trip). Cool Nightmare is a must-hear EP, but perhaps more impressive, Radiation City is a self-made band—and it’s doing just about everything right. CASEY JARMAN. SEE IT: Radiation City plays Rontoms, 600 E Burnside St., on Sunday, April 8, with Legendary Oaks. 9 pm. Free. 21+.
+HAWKEYE
+DRY THE RIVER
WEDNESDAY APRIL 4 •
$12 ADVANCE
LONG-AWAITED REUNION OF LEGENDARY POST-PUNK GODFATHERS
FRIDAY!
LEGENDARY SHOEGAZE-DREAM ROCK FROM THE UK
SWERVEDRIVER
FIREHOSE
THURSDAY APRIL 5
•
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QUASI-SYMPHONIC INDIE-FOLK FROM THE UK
SATURDAY!
+TERA MELOS
FRIDAY APRIL 6
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BUZZ-WORTHY ELECTRO-POP FROM BK DUO
CHAIRLIFT FANFARLO +GARDENS & VILLA
SATURDAY APRIL 7 SUNDAY APRIL 8
+NITE JEWEL
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PRIMAL RAUNCH ‘N ROLL FROM LA BASED ROCK REVIVALIST
HANNI EL
KHATIB
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A LOG LOVE EVENING OF PDX ROCK
YARDS +GRANDPARENTS
TUESDAY APRIL 10
•
$6 ADVANCE
AN EVENING OF BOOT STOMPIN’ AND STRING PICKIN’
LEFT COAST
COUNTRY TIJUANA PANTHERS +SUNDELLES
MONDAY APRIL 9
•
$10 ADVANCE
SINGER/SONGWRITER AND HOTEL CAFE ALUM
MEIKO
THURSDAY APRIL 12
•
THE BOTTLECAP BOYS BITTERROOT +POOR BOY’S SOUL
WEDNESDAY APRIL 11 •
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BROODING DREAM-POP FROM GLOBETROTTING BUZZBUILDER
PORCELAIN RAFT
$12 ADVANCE
2 NIGHT ALBUM RELEASE CELEBRATION WITH
SUNDAY APRIL 15
•
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AN EVENING CELEBRATING 12 YEARS OF BLITZEN TRAPPER!
BLITZEN
TRAPPER TUESDAY APRIL 17
THE PORTLAND
CELLO PROJECT CELEBRATING THE RELEASE OF HOMAGE
FRIDAY APRIL 13 SATURDAY APRIL 14 SATURDAY APRIL 14
Doors 8pm, $14 ADV Show 9pm Doors 4:30pm, $14 ADV Show 5pm Doors 8pm, $14 ADV Show 9pm
•
$20 ADVANCE
BLITZEN TRAPPER - 4/17 DUM DUM GIRLS - 5/27 POOR MOON - 5/30 JAPANDROIDS - 6/12 RHETT MILLER & THE SERIAL LADY KILLERS - 6/21 BROKEDOWN IN BAKERSFIELD - 6/29 JAY BRANNAN - 8/3 All of these shows on sale at Ticketfly.com
BLITZEN TRAPPER 4/17 • K.FLAY 4/18 • HOT PANDA 4/19 • FRUITION 4/20 Y LA BAMBA 4/21 • SCHOOL OF SEVEN BELLS 4/22 APRIL SMITH & THE GREAT PICTURE SHOW 4/23 • TANLINES 4/25 ADVANCE TICKETS AT TICKETFLY - www.ticketfly.com and JACKPOT RECORDS • SUBJECT TO SERVICE CHARGE &/OR USER FEE ALL SHOWS: 8PM DOORS / 9PM SHOW • 21+ UNLESS NOTED • BOX OFFICE OPENS 1/2 HOUR BEFORE DOORS • ROOM PACKAGES AVAILABLE AT www.jupiterhotel.com
Willamette Week APRIL 4, 2012 wweek.com
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SATURDAY-MONDAY
New Wave, ’70s yacht rock, disco and, yes, house music. Stitched together, songs like “Roman” and “Apocalypso” have a glassy brightness that has me ready to reconsider my monthsold dismissal. ROBERT HAM. Wonder Ballroom, 128 NE Russell St., 284-8686. 9 pm. $10. All ages.
SUNDAY, APRIL 8 Heartless Bastards, David Vandervelde, Brian Lopez
[BROKEN BOTTLE BEATS] Erika Wennerstrom’s voice is gnarled with muddy bits of broken glass from drunken Jack Daniel’s bottles. The Heartless Bastards singer pours her powerfully feminine pitch all over Arrow, this year’s release from the twangy, dirt-driven garage-rock foursome. Originally from Cincinnati, the group was picked up by Fat Possum Records after Black Keys drummer Patrick Carney got his hands on a demo tape at one of its local shows. Since then, the outfit has released four albums, switched labels (it’s currently working with Brooklyn-based Partisan Records) and relocated to Austin, Texas, where its ragged, prairie-sized sound is a perfect fit. NIKKI VOLPICELLI. Aladdin Theater, 3017 SE Milwaukie Ave., 234-9694. 8 pm. $18. 21+.
Chairlift, Nite Jewel
[COSMIC ELECTRONIC] Since 2008, Los Angeles resident Ramona Gonzalez has been crafting mellow electronic songs as a solo artist under the moniker Nite Jewel. Her delicate voice hovers over her spacey, synthdriven music like a fluttering hummingbird, blending together to create unique, ethereal electronica. Brooklyn duo Charilift—best-known for its song “Bruises,” featured in an iPod Nano commercial—headlines the show. NILINA MASON-CAMPBELL. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., 231-9663. 9 pm. $12 advance, $14 day of show. 21+.
PAT R I C K O D E L L
MUSIC
Datura Blues, Wah Wah Exit Wound, Rllrbll
[PROGRESSIVE ROCK] Seattle progrock outfit Wah Wah Exit Wound exercises its instrumental prowess on surprisingly groovy, laid-back and cohesive psychedelic explorations. Of course, the occasional freakout also sneaks in just long enough to introduce a riff that sounds like a spy theme with a dash of Mike Oldfieldstyle “electric guitar!” There’s something beautiful about sandwiching these cats between the Datura Blues collective—a local group that’s had dozens of members pass through its ranks—and Rllrbll, which has now pared down to its brllnt original core trio from the mid-’90s, and even shed the vowels from its name. Rock in opposition, indeed. NATHAN CARSON. Valentine’s, 232 SW Ankeny St., 2481600. 9 pm. Cover. 21+.
MONDAY, APRIL 9 Hanni El Khatib, Tijuana Panthers, Sundelles
[GARAGE FUZZ] Occupying an unexpectedly cohesive space between Iggy Pop, Black Keys and Roy Orbison, L.A.’s Hanni El Khatib is a key example of what can happen when a rocker packs his garage with a curatorial stack of influences. With last year’s Will the Guns Come Out, the musician’s silky, jagged voice pairs smoothly with everything from fuzzrock explosions to a sparse cover of “Heartbreak Hotel,” with El Khatib seamlessly blending R&B elements with punkish bravado. It’s a jarring combination that, like the Keys and the White Stripes, takes what is old and makes it new by applying a thick lacquer of grime. AP KRYZA. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., 2319663. 9 pm. $10 advance, $12 day of show. 21+.
BLUE ON YOU: Sleigh Bells play Roseland Theater on Saturday, April 7.
Oberhofer, Pond
[BASEMENT BUZZ] Tacoma native Brad Oberhofer applies Super Glue to his fingers before every show. More than superstition, the move protects his fingers as he shreds the shit out of his guitar. His burgeoning post-rock quartet has affixed the name Oberhofer to many ‘o industry ears, including Steve Lillywhite (U2, Morrissey), who produced newest fulllength Time Capsules II. The record is a glowing stage not only for Brad’s howling, jangling, neo-Buddy Holly vocal delivery, but for the young band’s remarkable ability to present
basement-born experimentation in a neatly wrapped package. Special note: Opening act Pond is not the well-loved Portland ’90s band. MARK STOCK. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 288-3895. 9 pm. $11. 21+.
James, Thomas Dolby, Elizaveta
[STEAMPOP] “There’s nothing new under the sun,” ’80s synth-pop star Thomas Dolby sings in the opening track of A Map of the Floating City, his first album in two decades (during which he moved to Silicon Valley and started a company that developed the first ringtone synthesizer) . But 30 years after his breakthrough “She
Blinded Me With Science,” the original steampunk musician is doing pretty well with the old stuff—Bacharach-style horns and harmonies, MIddle Eastern electronica, a bossa lounge ballad, honky-tonk tunes and only a few nods toward his atmospheric old style. Dolby’s smart music easily stands up to the stylistic variety and its incarnation. Be sure to check out Dolby’s mobile time capsule parked in front of the theater. BRETT CAMPBELL. Roseland Theater, 8 NW 6th Ave., 224-2038. 7 pm. $25-$35. 21+.
CONT. on page 34
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‘We All Raise Our Voices To The Air’ is a 20-track live double-album (and triple-vinyl set) culled from the band’s 2011 tour supporting their chart-topping, Grammy-nominated album ‘The King Is Dead.’ With songs spanning their entire first decade as a band--from their debut ‘5 Songs EP’ through each of their six LP’s—‘We All Raise Our Voices To The Air’ is the first-ever live album from a band that has grown into one of rock’s most thrilling live acts. OFFER GOOD THRU: 4/30/12
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HIGH ON FIRE
DE VERMIS MYSTERIIS ON SALE $12.99 CD LP ALSO AVAILABLE High On Fires new album ‘De Vermis Mysteriis’ was produced by Converge guitarist Kurt Ballou and marks the next devastating chapter in High On Fires gloriously unhinged metal saga. The album’s title (translation: The Mysteries of the Worm) is a nod to a fictional grimoire conceived by the late, great Psycho author Robert Bloch in 1935 and later incorporated into horror master H.P. Lovecraft’s renowned Cthulu Mythos.
GREAT LAKE SWIMMERS
NEW WILD EVERYWHERE ON SALE $9.99 CD LP ALSO AVAILABLE ‘New Wild Everywhere’ is the follow-up to Great Lake Swimmers’ critically acclaimed, Polaris Music Prize shortlisted and Juno nominated 2009 album ‘Lost Channels.’ Their fifth album in just under a decade, this new collection of 12 tracks reveals a depth and maturity previously only hinted at by lead singer and songwriter Tony Dekker. It thematically picks up where the previous album left off, exploring transcendence in the natural world to describe the universal themes of love, mortality and escape.
HALIE LOREN
HEART FIRST ON SALE $12.99 CD Jazz singer/songwriter Halie Loren is the type of singer that leaves you begging for an encore when she sings. Soulful and sensual with a velvety tone that bears a hint of a rasp, Loren weaves magic with the cool romance. She is joined by the laid-back vibes of her backing quartet of Matt Treder (piano), Mark Schneider (bass), Brian West (drums), William Seiji Marsh (guitar), framing her voice in a contemporary yet classic corner jazz club sound.
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MUSIC
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Oldominion, Iame, Big Bang, DJ Spark
[NORTHWEST HIP-HOP ROOTS] It happens now and again, and it usually feels like a family reunion: A fistful of the most storied Northwest hip-hop collective ever’s thirty-plus members risk stage collapse by appearing live as Oldominion. True to the whole Portland/Seattle slacker thing, the far-flung group’s most recent (and likely final) album, 2008 effort Make Happy, never got a proper release despite some excellent songs and even better production. While Oldominion’s set might raise uncomfortable questions about the Northwest hip-hop empire that could have been, the support set from Iame should prove inspiring: His new record, Lame$tream, (produced by forward-thinking Oldominion producer Smoke M2D6) is a fully formed, honest record about getting in touch with being out-of-touch. It feels a bit like a lyrical exorcism for the Oldominion/Sandpeople MC, but for an album focused in large part on questioning blog culture and the state of popular music, it’s a really modern-sounding effort. CASEY JARMAN. Ted’s (at Berbati’s), 231 SW Ankeny St. 9 pm. Cover. 21+.
Thursday April 5
A BENEFIT FOR PRINDLE CREEK STAGE
PAPAGAIYO REUNION! WITH POCKET, VIVID CURVE, and TWISTED WHISTLE
TUESDAY, APRIL 10
9pm • 21+ in the ConCert hall
Jultopia, Béisbol
CATS UNDER THE STARS
[ECCENTRIC ELECTRONIC] Eugene producer Jultopia’s first record, Hey, really starts revving on “2 Motor Translation,” a rubberneck-worthy collision of chirping sound effects, belly-trembling bass and robot-rock vocals. Throw into this marvelously mangled wreck fragments of disco, hip-hop, blues and anything else on Jultopia’s mind, throw out any sense of selfseriousness—the man known to UO peers as Julian Master has none— and you’re in Jultopia: a land (bordering the funky country whence
9pm • 21+ in the SideShow lounge
Friday April 6
DOWNTOWN • 1313 W. Burnside • 503.274.0961 EASTSIDE • 1931 NE Sandy Blvd. • 503.239.7610 BEAVERTON • 3290 SW Cedar Hills Blvd. • 503.350.0907 OPEN EVERYDAY AT 9 A.M. | WWW.EVERYDAYMUSIC.COM Never a cover!
JAMAICAN REGGAE LEGEND
MYKAL ROSE
8pm • 21+ in the ConCert hall
DSL COMEDY OPEN MIC 9pm • 21+ in the SideShow lounge
Saturday April 7
FREE LIVE MUSIC 7 NIGHTS A WEEK
COVERING ALL THINGS IN THE STAR WARS UNIVERSE, A BENEFIT FOR PDX CHARITY “FREE GEEK”
THE CLOUD CITY TRIVIA TOURNAMENT and COSTUME COMPETITION 6pm • 21+ in the ConCert hall
Buffalo gap
WEDNESDAY APRIL 4
Sunday April 8
Guy Dilly & The Twin Powers
HARD HITTIN’ JAMAICAN DANCEHALL REGGAE
THURSDAY APRIL 5
Wednesday, april 4th • 9pm
Matt Brown
Throwback Suburbia
FRIDAY APRIL 6
(indie power pop)
Frame By Frame
Thursday, april 5th • 9pm
North Head
SATURDAY APRIL 7
(acoustic alt rock)
This Not This
friday, april 6th • 9pm
SUNDAY APRIL 8
oreganic
“Slow Grooves” w/ Dojo Toolkit
( jam band funk) Saturday, april 7th • 9pm
Slow Children (alt melodic rock)
MONDAY APRIL 9
“Open Showcase” w/ Mountain Air Studios
ROOTZ UNDERGROUND INDUBIOUS 8pm in the ConCert hall
Tuesday April 10
NEWBIE TUESDAYS: OPEN MIC NIGHT hosted by SIMON TUCKER 8:30pm in the SideShow lounge • Free!
Wednesday April 11
BANG IT OUT! OPEN TO ALL SKILL LEVELS, DANCERS AND LISTENERS.
BRING YOUR DRUMS AND PERCUSSION INSTRUMENTS, SOME DRUMS AND SHAKERS AVAILABLE TO SHARE. DRUM CIRCLE! 7:30pm in the SideShow lounge • Free!
April 12-15
TUESDAY APRIL 10
THE NATION’S PREMIER COMEDY FESTIVAL!
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Willamette Week APRIL 4, 2012 wweek.com
tickets and info
facebook.com/mttabortheater
D I R K VA N D E N B U R G
Since 1974
MONDAY-TUESDAY Beck’s Midnite Vultures came) where electronic music is as weird as it is fun to dance to. JONATHAN FROCHTZWAJG. Bunk Bar, 1028 SE Water Ave., 894-9708. 9 pm. $3. 21+.
Benny Golson with the Mel Brown Septet
[JAZZ LEGEND] Those who missed saxophone legend Benny Golson on his last visit to Jimmy Mak’s nearly a year ago are in luck: Though well past retirement age, the incomparable Mr. G is back for another visit. Since his last ballad-filled Jimmy Mak’s date, Verve Records digitally reissued seven discs worth of Golson’s classic Jazztet work with Art Farmer (as The Complete Argo/ Mercury Sessions) that’s essential listening for bop fans. Let’s hope Golson—whom you also may know from his collaborations with Lionel Hampton, Dizzy Gillespie, Art Blakey, Sarah Vaughan and other legends—is getting a cut of that action. CASEY JARMAN. Jimmy Mak’s, 221 NW 10th Ave. 8 pm. $20 advance, $25 day of show. 21+.
Social Distortion, Toadies
[GREASER PUNK] While the other knucklehead punks in Orange County were disavowing all music made before the first Ramones album came out, Social Distortion singer Mike Ness was romanticizing the old-school rebellion of the Rolling Stones and Johnny Cash. Since 1983, the group has leaned heavily on its blues and country influences, and it’s ended up outlasting just about all of its contemporaries. Although Ness’ down-and-out ballads sometimes veer close to bar-band parody, by being stingy with its albums— seven years separate its last record and 2011’s Hard Times and Nursery Rhymes—the band has managed to not yet overstay its welcome. MATTHEW SINGER. Roseland Theater, 8 NW 6th Ave., 224-2038. 8 pm. Sold out. All ages.
PRIMER
BY MAT T HEW SIN GER
FIREHOSE Formed: 1986 in San Pedro, Calif. Sounds like: A streamlined, corn-fed offshoot of the Minutemen’s working-class punk funk. For fans of: Minutemen (duh), Camper Van Beethoven, Violent Femmes, early ’90s alt-rock. Latest release: Low Flows: The Columbia Years (1991-1994), a survey of the band’s major-label years, timed to coincide with its first shows in almost two decades. Why you care: The story of Firehose could be titled “How Mike Watt Got His Groove Back.” Known today as the hardestworking man in punk, by 1986, Watt was ready to call it quits. A van accident the year before took the life of his best friend, D. Boon, and brought a premature end to blue-collar legends the Minutemen, and in his grief, the bassist considered retiring from music altogether. Superfan Ed Crawford, however, wouldn’t let that happen. A student at Ohio State University, he drove out to California and more or less forced Watt and drummer George Hurley to start a new band. Although it inherited one of indie rock’s most distinctive rhythm sections, Firehose forged its own legacy over the course of eight years, with Crawford bringing a Midwestern folksiness to Watt and Hurley’s free-punk mélange. More important than any of its records, though, the band convinced Watt to get back on the road, where he’s stayed ever since. If nothing else, this reunion offers a chance to salute the group that saved punk’s truest believer from a life working the docks. It deserves a reappraisal for that alone. SEE IT: Firehose plays Doug FIr Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., on Friday, April 6, with Tera Melos. 9 pm. $22. 21+.
Willamette Week APRIL 4, 2012 wweek.com
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Willamette Week APRIL 4, 2012 wweek.com
MUSIC CALENDAR = WW Pick. Highly recommended. Editor: Jonathan Frochtzwajg. TO HAVE YOUR EVENT LISTED, send show information at least two weeks in advance on the web at wweek.com/submitevents or (if you book a specific venue) enter your events at dbmonkey.com/wweek. Press kits, CDs and especially vinyl can be sent to Music Desk, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Please include show or release date information with all physical mailings. Email: music@wweek.com.
Mount Hood Community College
26000 SE Stark St., Gresham Chuck Redd and Rebecca Kilgore
Mount Tabor Theater
4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Papagaiyo, Vivid Curve, Twisted Whistle (concert hall); Cats Under the Stars (Sideshow Lounge, Jerry Garcia Band tribute)
JG@NOLA.LIVEMUSICBLOG.COM
For more listings, check out wweek.com.
Muddy Rudder Public House 8105 SE 7th Ave. James Clem
PINTS Urban Taproom
412 NW 5th Ave. Audrey Ebbs (9 pm); Two Rivers Band (7 pm)
Plan B
1305 SE 8th Ave. Fjords, Style Like Revelators, Bad Luck Blackouts, The Lolligaggers
WED. APRIL 4 Al’s Den at the Crystal Hotel 303 SW 12th Ave. Davis Rogan
Andina
1314 NW Glisan St. Toshi Onizuka
Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall
1037 SW Broadway Rodrigo y Gabriela, C.U.B.A.
Ash Street Saloon
225 SW Ash St. Witch Throne, Doomsower, Riastrad, Liars
Biddy McGraw’s
6000 NE Glisan St. Henry Hill
Blitz Twentyone 305 NW 21st Ave. Matthew Lindley
Brasserie Montmartre 626 SW Park Ave. Trashcan Joe
Dante’s
350 W Burnside St. The Hugs
Doug Fir Lounge
830 E Burnside St. Bowerbirds, Dry the River
East Burn
1800 E Burnside St. Irish Music Jam
The Mel Brown Quartet with Chuck Redd
Kells
112 SW 2nd Ave. Tom May
Ladd’s Inn
1204 SE Clay St. Lynn Conover
Landmark Saloon
4847 SE Division St. Jake Ray and the Cowdogs
LaurelThirst
2958 NE Glisan St. Old Flames (9 pm); The Phoreheads (6 pm)
McMenamins Edgefield Winery 2126 SW Halsey St., Troutdale Josh Cole
Mississippi Pizza
3552 N Mississippi Ave. The Harm, The James Lange Theory (9:45 pm); Mr. Hoo (12 pm)
Muddy Rudder Public House 8105 SE 7th Ave. Sleepy Eyed Johns
Palace of Industry
5426 N Gay Ave. Flat Rock String Band
Plan B
1305 SE 8th Ave. Helms, Thrones, Norska
Someday Lounge
714 SW 20th Place Ok Vancouver Ok
125 NW 5th Ave. Kris Orlowski, Glassbones, Hive Mind, De La Warr
Goodfoot Lounge
Star Theater
Ella Street Social Club
2845 SE Stark St. Early Hours, Saxon and the Satisfactions
Hawthorne Theatre Lounge
1503 SE Cesar E. Chavez Ave. Viva Le Vox, Rachel Brooke, James Hunnicutt
Hawthorne Theatre
3862 SE Hawthorne Blvd. The Dreaming, Underride, Velo, Dear Assassin, Taper
Holocene
1001 SE Morrison St. Mattress, Prescription Pills, Artifice
Ivories Jazz Lounge and Restaurant 1435 NW Flanders St. Mitzi Zilka Student Concert
Jade Lounge
2346 SE Ankeny St. Hazel Rickard
Jimmy Mak’s
221 NW 10th Ave.
13 NW 6th Ave. Rebirth Brass Band, The Revivalists
Sundown Pub
5903 N Lombard St. Mark Kenask, Adam Brock, Migi Artugue
THURS. APRIL 5 Al’s Den at the Crystal Hotel 303 SW 12th Ave. Davis Rogan
Alberta Street Public House 1036 NE Alberta St. Leeward Fate, Cody Weathers
Andina
1314 NW Glisan St. Tracy Kim Trio
Ash Street Saloon
225 SW Ash St. Stumblebum, The Warshers, Filthy Still, Ol’ Devols
Backspace
115 NW 5th Ave. Brainstorm, Twin Steps, Onuinu
Brasserie Montmartre 626 SW Park Ave. John “JB” Butler & Al Craido
Buffalo Gap Saloon
6835 SW Macadam Ave. North Head
Camellia Lounge 510 NW 11th Ave. John Gross Trio
Clyde’s Prime Rib
5474 NE Sandy Blvd. Mesi & Bradley
Corkscrew Wine Bar 1669 SE Bybee Blvd. Gumbo Americana
2346 SE Ankeny St. Chris Juhlin
Kells
112 SW 2nd Ave. Tom May
Kelly’s Olympian
426 SW Washington St. The Hoons, Tigress, Kimosabe
Kennedy School
5736 NE 33rd Ave. Never Strangers
Laughing Horse Books
12 NE 10th Ave. Gathering of the Goofpunx: Intergalactic Smugglers, Absent Minds, Company, Insane Clown Potsie, Big Eyes, Riot Cop
LaurelThirst
McMenamins Edgefield Winery
East End
Ford Food and Drink 2505 SE 11th Ave. Kathryn Claire
Trail’s End Saloon
2845 SE Stark St. Naive Melodies (Talking Heads tribute)
836 N Russell St. The Nutmeggers, Dreaming in Colors
Jade Lounge
East Burn
1635 SE 7th Ave. Johnny Payola Hayride (9 pm); Tough Lovepyle (6 pm)
Touché Restaurant and Billiards
White Eagle Saloon
1435 NW Flanders St. Jean Pierre and Ellen Whyte (8 pm); Laura Cunard (5 pm)
Matador
Tony Starlight’s
1320 Main St., Oregon City Ward Stroud
Ivories Jazz Lounge and Restaurant
Duff’s Garage
830 E Burnside St. Swervedriver, Hawkeye
203 SE Grand Ave. La Pump, Little Volcano, Hold My Hand (art/music show)
1425 NW Glisan St. Nancy King
1001 SE Morrison St. DJ Ian Armstrong (Working Families Party benefit)
2958 NE Glisan St. Jim Boyer Deluxe (9:30 pm); Lewi Longmire Band (6 pm)
1800 E Burnside St. Pagan Jug Band
3728 NE Sandy Blvd. Mel Kubik & Christopher Woitach
Holocene
Doug Fir Lounge
The Heathman Restaurant and Bar 1001 SW Broadway Bre Gregg
Russell Bruner and Sugar Kane, Jason Ramirez, Bridgetown Revue, Charles Sorgie, Jay Lieber, The Glyptodons, Mandala, Roots Renewal System
Goodfoot Lounge
Hawthorne Theatre
3862 SE Hawthorne Blvd.
1967 W Burnside St. Therapists, Denizens, No Tomorrow Boys
2126 SW Halsey St., Troutdale Huck Notari
McMenamins Rock Creek Tavern
10000 Old Cornelius Pass Road, Hillsboro Lynn Conover & Gravel
Mississippi Pizza
3552 N Mississippi Ave. Inspirational Beets (9 pm); The Begonias (6 pm)
Mississippi Studios
3939 N Mississippi Ave. Viva Voce, 1939 Ensemble, Battleme
Mock Crest Tavern 3435 N Lombard St. David Brothers
Brownish Black (8:30 pm); Will West and Tanner Cundy (5:30 pm)
Wonder Ballroom
128 NE Russell St. The Polyphonic Spree, New Fumes
Al’s Den at the Crystal Hotel 303 SW 12th Ave. Davis Rogan
Aladdin Theater
Alberta Rose Theatre 3000 NE Alberta St. The Umbrella Festival: Vagabond Opera, Professor Gall, Tears of Joy Puppet Theater
Secret Society Lounge
116 NE Russell St. Honey Ear Trio, Better Homes and Gardens, Why I Must Be Careful
Slim’s Cocktail Bar 8635 N Lombard St. Inkblot, Cadet
Someday Lounge
125 NW 5th Ave. Tony Ozier, Doo Doo Funk All-Stars
Spare Room
4830 NE 42nd Ave. Sam Densmore, Chris Marshall, Drew De Man, Old Custer
Star Theater
13 NW 6th Ave. Neil Hamburger, JP Inc., Al Gore Memorial High School
Ted’s (at Berbati’s)
231 SW Ankeny St. Sole, Ceschi, Bleubird, Josh Martinez, VTRN
Thirsty Lion
2002 SE Division St. Proof 151, The Flailing Inhalers, Weekend Assembly
Doug Fir Lounge
1635 SE 7th Ave. Greg Georgeson, Snapperheads (9:30 pm); The Hamdogs (6 pm)
East Burn
1800 E Burnside St. Andrews Ave, Cascadia Soul Alliance
Alberta Street Public House
Andina
8 NW 6th Ave. Young the Giant, Grouplove
350 W Burnside St. Dharma Bums, The Needful Longings, Ugly Flowers, DJ Highway 7 (Sean Croghan benefit)
Duff’s Garage
3017 SE Milwaukie Ave. Uncle Kracker, Sonia Leigh, Ty Stone
Red Room
Roseland Theater
Dante’s
830 E Burnside St. Firehose, Tera Melos
8 NE Killingsworth St. Nirvana Open Mic 2530 NE 82nd Ave. Fred Ped, The Warshers, Knox Harrington, Erik Anarchy, Raw and Order, Raw Dog and the Close Calls, Not Sure, Feral Drollery
Muthaship
Dilly’s Bar and Grill
FRI. APRIL 6
1036 NE Alberta St. Bad Mitten Orchestra (9:30 pm); Mikey’s Irish Jam (6:30 pm)
Record Room
BLASTS OF BRASS: Rebirth Brass Band plays Star Theater on Wednesday, April 4.
[APRIL 4-10]
presented by
Ella Street Social Club 714 SW 20th Place Log Across the Washer, Just Lions
Ford Food and Drink
2505 SE 11th Ave. Katie Roberts, The Darlin’ Blackbirds
1314 NW Glisan St. JB Butler Trio
Gemini Lounge
6526 SE Foster Road Weekend, The Reverend, Callow, Blowing Up Bridges, Absent Minds
Ash Street Saloon 225 SW Ash St. The Dark Backward, Gordon Avenue, Riverpool, Criminal Mastermind
Gotham Tavern
Backspace
115 NW 5th Ave. Gathering of the Goofpunx: Ramshackle Glory, Nun Chuksky, Divers, Valkyrie Rodeo, Angries, Destroy Nate Allen, Tyson Ballew, The Last Pinecone
Biddy McGraw’s
6000 NE Glisan St. The Mountain Ever (9:30 pm); Lynn Connover (6 pm)
Branx
320 SE 2nd Ave. Ceremony, Milk Music, Society Nurse, Arctic Flowers 626 SW Park Ave. Holly Hoffman & Mike Wofford Quartet (9 pm); Tablao (5:30 pm) 510 NW 11th Ave. Douglas Detrick, Sam Adams, Kenny Feinstein
Clyde’s Prime Rib
5474 NE Sandy Blvd.
Hawthorne Theatre Lounge
1503 SE Cesar E. Chavez Ave. The Calamity Cubes
Ivories Jazz Lounge and Restaurant
1435 NW Flanders St. David Valdez/Weber Iago Latin Quartet (8 pm); Dave Fleschner (5 pm)
Jade Lounge
2346 SE Ankeny St. Worth and Scott Deans (8 pm); Lillian Soderman (6 pm)
Jimmy Mak’s
Brasserie Montmartre
Camellia Lounge
2240 N Interstate Ave. AngelRhodes
221 NW 10th Ave. Mike Prigodich and MPEG, The George Colligan Group
Katie O’Briens
2809 NE Sandy Blvd. The Jim-Jams, Hawthorne, The Brother Egg
Full Shilling
Kelly’s Olympian
426 SW Washington St. Federale, Buzzyshyface
Kenton Club
2025 N Kilpatrick St. Bad Assets, The Tumblers
Korkage Wine Bar & Shop
6351 SW Capitol Highway Andrew Grade
LaurelThirst
2958 NE Glisan St. Baby Gramps (9:30 pm); The James Low Western Front (6 pm)
Lewis & Clark College-Agnes Flanagan Chapel
0615 SW Palatine Hill Road, Portland Grass Widow, Deep Time, Broken Water, STLS, Forest Park, Like A Villain, Reynosa, Sassfest (Rock ‘n’ Roll Camp for Girls benefit)
Little Axe Records
5012 NE 28th Ave. Derek Monypeny, Pulse Emitter, Uncanny Valley
McMenamins Edgefield Winery 2126 SW Halsey St., Troutdale Mark Alan
McMenamins Rock Creek Tavern
10000 Old Cornelius Pass Road, Hillsboro Jon Koonce & One More Mile
Mississippi Pizza
3552 N Mississippi Ave. Pete Krebs & the Portland Playboys (9 pm); Jenny Sizzler (6 pm)
Mississippi Studios
3939 N Mississippi Ave. Mike Doughty (reading and show)
Mock Crest Tavern
3435 N Lombard St. DC Malone & the Jones
Mount Tabor Theater
4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Mykal Rose & The Royal Roots Band, The Reggae Angels, Ras Binghi & 7th Seal Reggae Band, Gypsy Roots, Island Fusion, DJ Short Change, DJ Xacto
Music Millennium
3158 E Burnside St. Joshua P. James and the Paper Planes
Kells
112 SW 2nd Ave.
CONT. on page 38
71 SW 2nd Ave. Callen Farmer
Tonic Lounge
3100 NE Sandy Blvd. City Squirrel, Radio in Caves, Monoplane
RED BULL MUSIC ACADEMY
Tony Starlight’s
3728 NE Sandy Blvd. Sing for Your Supperclub with the All-Star Horns
Touché Restaurant and Billiards 1425 NW Glisan St. Peter Boe
NYC – 2012
Trail’s End Saloon
1320 Main St., Oregon City Rae Gordon
Tube
18 NW 3rd Ave. Litanic Mask, Uncanny Valley, DJ Casual Sax
Vie de Boheme
1530 SE 7th Ave. Jim’s Gypsy Jazz Jam
Vino Vixens Wine Shop & Bar 2929 SE Powell Blvd. Rachel Fishman
Application must be complete & postmarked before April 2, 2012
@RBMA @redbullPDX for more info:
White Eagle Saloon 836 N Russell St.
Willamette Week APRIL 4, 2012 wweek.com
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MUSIC
CALENDAR
BAR SPOTLIGHT
Bunk Bar
ROSNAPS.COM
1028 SE Water Ave. The Barr Brothers, Sean Flinn & The Royal We
Camellia Lounge
510 NW 11th Ave. Will Coca, Vinnie Ferra Band
Club 21
2035 NE Glisan St. Johnny Render, The Suicide Notes, Radios in Caves
Clyde’s Prime Rib
5474 NE Sandy Blvd. Cool Breeze
Crystal Ballroom
1332 W Burnside St. Mark and Brian, AC/DDC, The Rolling Tones
Dante’s
DELIRIOUSLY HAPPY: Sunday brunch lines at Jam on Hawthorne (2229 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 234-4790, jamonhawthorne. com) stretch a full block, but seats are plentiful at weekday happy hour. This is odd, because the bar offers insane deals from 5 to 8 pm. Take the $5 half-pound breakfast burger topped with a fried egg, bacon and cheddar—it’s every bit the equal of Slow Bar’s burger but at half the price. Or the excellent $3 hummus plate with olives, cheese, tomatoes and greens. Paired with a $1 tall boy, Jam’s happy-hour deals are the best cheap dinner around. This cavernous breakfast joint does have a proper bar (with sugary mixed drinks for $7), though the lighting isn’t quite right for a lounge and evening music wanders too far into ’70s funk. Those are tiny quibbles when your mouth is full of a Stella Blue Burger. This glory is probably fleeting. Enjoy it now and expect lines or price hikes soon. MARTIN CIZMAR.
350 W Burnside St. Hell’s Belles (AC/DC tribute), Missionary Position, Rum Rebellion
Doug Fir Lounge
830 E Burnside St. Fanfarlo, Gardens and Villa
Duff’s Garage
1635 SE 7th Ave. Midnight Serenaders
East Burn
1800 E Burnside St. Megafauna
East End
203 SE Grand Ave. Acid Baby Jesus, Youthbitch, Shivas
Ella Street Social Club 714 SW 20th Place Tiger House, Sad Face
Fifteenth Avenue Hophouse 1517 NE Brazee St. Switchgrass
Foggy Notion Nel Centro
The Blue Monk
Five Pint, Mary Shillelagh, Jack Tin Silver (9:30 pm); Reverb Brothers (5:30 pm)
The Heathman Restaurant and Bar
Wilfs Restaurant & Bar
Original Halibut’s II
The Know
Wonder Ballroom
1408 SW 6th Ave. Mike Pardew, Jeff Leonard & Todd Strait 2527 NE Alberta St. Norman Sylvester
PINTS Urban Taproom 412 NW 5th Ave. Noah Peterson
Papa G’s Vegan Organic Deli
2314 SE Division St. Forest Bloodgood
Plan B
1305 SE 8th Ave. Cull, Spectral Tombs, Hang the Old Year
3341 SE Belmont St. Trash Can Joe
1001 SW Broadway Key of Dreams
2026 NE Alberta St. ASSS, Haunted Horses, White Coward
The Lotus Seed
4635 NE 9th Ave. Chris Worth, Max Ribner Band, Sara Tone, Joseph Riso, The Sale
Thirsty Lion
Red Room
71 SW 2nd Ave. Erotic City
Roseland Theater
317 NW Broadway Rogue Shot, Marca Luna, FMK
2530 NE 82nd Ave. Strange Cousins, Mercury Tree, The Cold Ground 8 NW 6th Ave. Young the Giant, Grouplove
Secret Society Lounge 116 NE Russell St. Lone Madrone, Strangled Darlings, The Ian Fays (9 pm); Swing Papillon (6 pm)
Slabtown
1033 NW 16th Ave. Hopeless Jack & The Handsome Devil, Antique Scream, Holy Children
Slim’s Cocktail Bar
8635 N Lombard St. Weird Birds, Marmits, The Hand That Bleeds, Manhattan Murder Mystery
Someday Lounge
125 NW 5th Ave. My Autumn’s Done Come, The Hollywood Tans, Future Historians, Muscle and the Marrow
Spare Room
4830 NE 42nd Ave. Papa Dynamite
Star Theater
13 NW 6th Ave. Throw Me the Statue, Mt. St. Helens Vietnam Band, Hausu
The Blue Diamond
Tiger Bar
Tonic Lounge
3100 NE Sandy Blvd. Animal R & R, Tictockman, The Weak Knees, Culprit
Tony Starlight’s
3728 NE Sandy Blvd. Neil Diamond Tribute
Touché Restaurant and Billiards 1425 NW Glisan St. Jhon Stowell
Trader Vic’s
1203 NW Glisan St. John English (Frank Sinatra tribute)
Trail’s End Saloon
1320 Main St., Oregon City Jim Mesi
Valentine’s
232 SW Ankeny St. Shields, Carrie Keith, Prism Band, Jewelry Rash
Vie de Boheme 1530 SE 7th Ave. Kode Bluuz
Vino Vixens Wine Shop & Bar 2929 SE Powell Blvd. Rich Layton & The Troublemakers
White Eagle Saloon 836 N Russell St.
2016 NE Sandy Blvd. Lloyd Allen Sr.
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Willamette Week APRIL 4, 2012 wweek.com
800 NW 6th Ave. Richard Arnold & The Groove Swingers 128 NE Russell St. Cults, Spectrals, Mrs. Magician
SAT. APRIL 7 Al’s Den at the Crystal Hotel 303 SW 12th Ave. Davis Rogan
Aladdin Theater
3017 SE Milwaukie Ave. The Motet (Grateful Dead tribute), Excellent Gentlemen
Alberta Rose Theatre 3000 NE Alberta St. The Umbrella Festival: The Stolen Sweets, Strangled Darlings, Boy & Bean
Alberta Street Public House
1036 NE Alberta St. Siren & the Sea, Chimney Choir
Andina
1314 NW Glisan St. Danny Romero Trio
Ash Street Saloon
225 SW Ash St. A Killing Dove; The Rise, The Fall
Beaterville Cafe
2201 N Killingsworth St. Lex Browning Band
Biddy McGraw’s
6000 NE Glisan St. Silverhawk (9:30 pm); Twisted Whistle (6 pm)
Branx
3416 N Lombard St. Aranya, M.A.R.C. and the Horse Jerks, Swampbuck
Good Neighbor Pizzeria
800 NE Dekum St. Damn Family
Goodfoot Lounge 2845 SE Stark St. Jujuba
Hawthorne Hophouse 4111 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Spodee-O’s
Hawthorne Theatre
3862 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Delta!Bravo, She’s Not Dead, The Autonomics, Stories & Soundtracks
Ivories Jazz Lounge and Restaurant
1435 NW Flanders St. Tom Guarna, George Colligan and Matt Jorgensen (8 pm); Chris Gabriel (5 pm)
Jade Lounge
2346 SE Ankeny St. Sold Only As Curio (8 pm); Matthew Zimmerman, Jacob Mestman (6 pm)
Jimmy Mak’s
221 NW 10th Ave. Jeff Lorbert with Patrick Lamb, Jimmy Haslip and Reinhardt Melz
Kells
112 SW 2nd Ave. Full Shilling
Kelly’s Olympian
426 SW Washington St. Rick Bain & The Genius Position, Luminous Things, Highway
Kenton Club
2025 N Kilpatrick St. Sugar Sugar Sugar, The Pathogens, Dramady
Laughing Horse Books
320 SE 2nd Ave. Load B
12 NE 10th Ave. Terminal Damage, Flight 19, Bad Music
Brasserie Montmartre
LaurelThirst
626 SW Park Ave. Reggie Houston’s Box of Chocolates (9 pm); Tablao (5:30 pm)
Buffalo Gap Saloon
6835 SW Macadam Ave. Slow Children
2958 NE Glisan St. Pagan Jug Band (9:30 pm); Tree Frogs (6 pm)
McMenamins Edgefield Winery 2126 SW Halsey St., Troutdale Dan Haley
McMenamins Rock Creek Tavern
10000 Old Cornelius Pass Road, Hillsboro Rule of the Bone
Mississippi Pizza
3552 N Mississippi Ave. The Dirty Words, Pheasant (9 pm); Brad Creel & the Reel Deel (6:30 pm, family show); Petty Cash (4 pm, kids’ show)
Mississippi Studios
3939 N Mississippi Ave. The Wedding Present, Pinky Piglets
Mock Crest Tavern 3435 N Lombard St. Donna and the Side Effects
The Blue Diamond
Doug Fir Lounge
The Blue Monk
Ford Food and Drink
2016 NE Sandy Blvd. Sonny Hess 3341 SE Belmont St. Jim Boyer Band, Bronson, Robert Duncan Gray
The Heathman Restaurant and Bar
The Know
Jade Lounge
2026 NE Alberta St. Don’t, Shut Your Animal Mouth, The Small Arms
The Lovecraft
421 SE Grand Ave. Dead Hand Project
Tiger Bar
Nel Centro
3100 NE Sandy Blvd. Bellwether, Trout Farmers
Tonic Lounge
1408 SW 6th Ave. Mike Pardew, Jeff Leonard & Todd Strait
Tony Starlight’s
Original Halibut’s II
Touché Restaurant and Billiards
PINTS Urban Taproom
3728 NE Sandy Blvd. The Tony Starlight Show
1425 NW Glisan St. Haley Horsfall
412 NW 5th Ave. Seth Myzel (9 pm); Rachel Fishman (7 pm)
Trader Vic’s
Plan B
Trail’s End Saloon
1305 SE 8th Ave. The Tanked, Danger Death Ray, The Reverend, Callow, Blowing Up Bridges, Gun Room Melodies, Absent Minds, Abolitionist
Quaking Grass
5010 NE 9th Ave., Unit B Janet Julian, Lillian Soderman
Quimby’s At 19th 1502 NW 19th Ave. Edge of Land
Record Room
8 NE Killingsworth St. Joshua P. James and the Paper Planes
Red Room
2530 NE 82nd Ave. The Mormon Trannys, Vs. the Queen, Boors, Secnd Best
Red and Black Cafe
400 SE 12th Ave. Gathering of the Goofpunx: Death Rattle, Zebu, Tim Blood and the Gut Panthers, Fucking Dyke Bitches, Lee Corey Oswald
Roseland Theater
8 NW 6th Ave. Sleigh Bells, Javelin, Elite Gymnastics
Secret Society Lounge 116 NE Russell St. AnnaPaul & The Bearded Lady, Eric Stern, Russell Bruner
Slabtown
1033 NW 16th Ave. Electro-kraken, Aeon Now, Felecia and the Dinosaur, Leafeater
Slim’s Cocktail Bar 8635 N Lombard St. Buffalo Stagecoach
Someday Lounge
125 NW 5th Ave. Danava, Lord Dying, Billions & Billions, Owl, DJ Dennis Dread
Spare Room
4830 NE 42nd Ave. Erotic City (Prince tribute)
Star Theater
13 NW 6th Ave. Buoy LaRue, Water Tower Bucket Boys, The Wilkinson Blades
TaborSpace
5441 SE Belmont St. Doug Smith, Eric Skye, Anton Emery
Ted’s (at Berbati’s) 231 SW Ankeny St. ManimalHouse, DJ Weather
Ivories Jazz Lounge and Restaurant
1435 NW Flanders St. The Lyrical Strings Duo with Erin Winemiller
Muddy Rudder Public House
2527 NE Alberta St. Margo Tufo
2505 SE 11th Ave. Tim Roth
1001 SW Broadway Mark Kadderly
317 NW Broadway A((wake)), Dear Assassin, Oden
8105 SE 7th Ave. Thad Beckman
830 E Burnside St. Chairlift, Nite Jewel
1203 NW Glisan St. Xavier Tavera 1320 Main St., Oregon City Joseph Konty
Tupai at Andina
1314 NW Glisan St. Marina Lavalle
Vie de Boheme
1530 SE 7th Ave. Ukeladies (6:30 pm); Dawid Vorster Band (9 pm)
Vino Vixens Wine Shop & Bar 2929 SE Powell Blvd. Robert Richter Duo & Anna-Lisa (8 pm); Portland Casual Jam Group (2 pm)
White Eagle Saloon
836 N Russell St. Caravan of Thieves, Ryan Sollee (of The Builders and the Butchers) (9:30 pm); The Student Loan (4:30 pm)
Wilfs Restaurant & Bar
800 NW 6th Ave. Dave Friesen, Greg Goebel, Charlie Doggett Trio
Wonder Ballroom
128 NE Russell St. Housse de Racket, Wax Fingers, No Kind of Rider
SUN. APRIL 8 Al’s Den at the Crystal Hotel 303 SW 12th Ave. Water Tower, Kyle Owen
Aladdin Theater
3017 SE Milwaukie Ave. Heartless Bastards, David Vandervelde, Brian Lopez
Alberta Rose Theatre 3000 NE Alberta St. The Umbrella Festival: Wanderlust Circus Orchestra, Hurqalya, Aeon Now
Andina
1314 NW Glisan St. Danny Romero
Ash Street Saloon
225 SW Ash St. Choke the Silence, High Desert Hooligans, Ergot, Los Other Phux
Beaterville Cafe
2201 N Killingsworth St. Wil Koehnke
Biddy McGraw’s
2346 SE Ankeny St. Rob Johnson, David Bales, Boby Heyer, Steve Pulvers
Kells
112 SW 2nd Ave. Cronin Tierney (9 pm); Irish Sessions (6 pm)
Landmark Saloon
4847 SE Division St. Jake Ray
Laughing Horse Books
12 NE 10th Ave. Gathering of the Goofpunx: Living Rheum, Arms Aloft, Fools Rush, Manhattan Murder Mystery, Tiny Knives, Mustaphamond, Andrew Link and Metallica 3000
LaurelThirst
Alberta Street Public House 1036 NE Alberta St. Hoyt Latte
Andina
1314 NW Glisan St. Pete Krebs
Bunk Bar
1028 SE Water Ave. The Wooden Sky, Pigeons
Dante’s
350 W Burnside St. Karaoke from Hell
Doug Fir Lounge
830 E Burnside St. Hanni El Khatib, Tijuana Panthers, Sundelles
Duff’s Garage
1635 SE 7th Ave. Roseline (8:30 pm); Susie and the Sidecars (6 pm)
Goodfoot Lounge 2845 SE Stark St. Open Mic
Hollywood Theatre
4122 NE Sandy Blvd. Josh & Mer (local music videos screening)
Ivories Jazz Lounge and Restaurant 1435 NW Flanders St. Ted Nash
2958 NE Glisan St. Dan Haley & Tim Acott (9:30 pm); Freak Mountain Ramblers (6 pm)
Jade Lounge
McMenamins Edgefield Winery
221 NW 10th Ave. The Dan Balmer Band
2126 SW Halsey St., Troutdale Billy D.
McMenamins Rock Creek Tavern
2346 SE Ankeny St. Jaime Leopold
Jimmy Mak’s
Kells
112 SW 2nd Ave. Cronin Tierney
Kelly’s Olympian
10000 Old Cornelius Pass Road, Hillsboro Cary Novotny & Johnny Connolly
426 SW Washington St. David Gerow, Half Step Shy
Mount Tabor Theater
2958 NE Glisan St. Kung Pao Chickens (9 pm); Portland Country Underground (6 pm)
4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Rootz Underground
Record Room
8 NE Killingsworth St. Tunnels, Uncanny Valley, Body Glove
Rontoms
600 E Burnside St. Radiation City, Legendary Oaks
Rotture
315 SE 3rd Ave. Symmetry/Symmetry, Autronic Eye, Violet Isle
Slabtown
1033 NW 16th Ave. Electric Bugaloo, Bobby Joe Ebola and the Children MacNuggits, Delaney & Paris, Autry!
Ted’s (at Berbati’s)
231 SW Ankeny St. Long Beach Rehab, The Sindicate Band, Rude Fish
The Blue Monk
3341 SE Belmont St. The Hugetet
Tonic Lounge
3100 NE Sandy Blvd. Mangled Bohemians, The Happening, Hey Lover
Trail’s End Saloon
1320 Main St., Oregon City Robbie Laws
Tube
18 NW 3rd Ave. Arrington de Dionyso’s Malaikat dan Singa, Million Brazilians, DJ Yeti
Valentine’s
232 SW Ankeny St. Datura Blues, Wah Wah Exit Wound, Rllrbll
Vino Vixens Wine Shop & Bar 2929 SE Powell Blvd. Paul Mauer & Kat Jones
MON. APRIL 9
LaurelThirst
McMenamins Edgefield Winery 2126 SW Halsey St., Troutdale Skip vonKuske with Tim Snider
McMenamins Rock Creek Tavern
10000 Old Cornelius Pass Road, Hillsboro Bob Shoemaker
Mississippi Pizza
3552 N Mississippi Ave. Sloe Loris, Zach (9 pm); Mr. Ben (5 pm)
Mississippi Studios
3939 N Mississippi Ave. Oberhofer, Pond
Muddy Rudder Public House 8105 SE 7th Ave. Alan Hagar
Plan B
1305 SE 8th Ave. Excruciator, Motorthrone, Untimely Demise
Record Room
8 NE Killingsworth St. 3 Moons, Blood Wall, Mind Alien
Roseland Theater
8 NW 6th Ave. James, Thomas Dolby, Elizaveta
Ted’s (at Berbati’s)
231 SW Ankeny St. Oldominion, Iame, Big Bang, DJ Spark
The Blue Diamond
2016 NE Sandy Blvd. Jay “Bird” Koder’s Soulmates
The Blue Monk
3341 SE Belmont St. Deep Cuts
The Know
Al’s Den at the Crystal Hotel
2026 NE Alberta St. Arms Aloft, Pageripper, 48 Thrills
305 NW 21st Ave. Wild Mountain Bell
303 SW 12th Ave. Water Tower, Brad Parsons
Clyde’s Prime Rib
Alberta Rose Theatre
317 NW Broadway Kingdom Under Fire, Where There’s a Will
6000 NE Glisan St. Felim Egan
Blitz Twentyone
5474 NE Sandy Blvd. Ron Steen Jazz Jam
3000 NE Alberta St. Chilly Gonzales
Tiger Bar
White Eagle Saloon 836 N Russell St.
CALENDAR Brothers Young, Ritchie Young (of Loch Lomond), Ioa
TUES. APRIL 10 Al’s Den at the Crystal Hotel
Bunk Bar
1028 SE Water Ave. Jultopia, Béisbol
Camellia Lounge
510 NW 11th Ave. Ezra Weiss Quartet
Ivories Jazz Lounge and Restaurant 1435 NW Flanders St. Jazz Jam with Carey Campbell
Jade Lounge
MUSIC
Papa G’s Vegan Organic Deli 2314 SE Division St. Charlie Orlando
Plan B
1305 SE 8th Ave. Sacrament Ov Impurity, Blood Etchings, Infernus, Sarcalogos
303 SW 12th Ave. Water Tower, Jen Bernard (of Stolen Sweets), Pete Krebs
Doug Fir Lounge
2346 SE Ankeny St. Jimmy Pardo
Alberta Street Public House
Duff’s Garage
1036 NE Alberta St. Hip Hatchet, Vikesh Kapoor
1635 SE 7th Ave. The Dover Weinberg Quartet (9:30 pm); Trio Bravo (6 pm)
221 NW 10th Ave. Benny Golson with the Mel Brown Septet
8 NW 6th Ave. Social Distortion, Toadies
Kells
The Blue Monk
Andina
Ella Street Social Club
LaurelThirst
Tiger Bar
McMenamins Edgefield Winery
Tony Starlight’s
1314 NW Glisan St. JB Butler
Ash Street Saloon
225 SW Ash St. Blood Owl, Hell & Lula, Sonar Lights
Backspace
115 NW 5th Ave. Reign the Arcade, Sam Wegman, Lion & Mouse, Just Lions
Blitz Twentyone 305 NW 21st Ave. Mosby
830 E Burnside St. Metronomy
714 SW 20th Place The Blank Tapes, This Frontier Needs Heroes, Levi Strom
Goodfoot Lounge 2845 SE Stark St. Radula
Hawthorne Theatre
3862 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Blood on the Dance Floor, Brokencyde, Deuce, Polkadot Cadaver, The Bunny the Bear, New Years Day
Jimmy Mak’s
112 SW 2nd Ave. Cronin Tierney 2958 NE Glisan St. Jackstraw
2126 SW Halsey St., Troutdale Caleb Klauder & Sammy Lind
Mississippi Pizza
3552 N Mississippi Ave. Alex Nicole, Alexa Wiley
Mount Tabor Theater
4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Open Mic with Simon Tucker
DJ Epor
Gypsy Restaurant & Lounge 625 NW 21st Ave. DJ Velvet
Holocene
WED. APRIL 4 CC Slaughters
219 NW Davis St. Trick with DJ Robb
Dig a Pony
736 SE Grand Ave. Champagne Jams
Groove Suite
440 NW Glisan St. Devonwho, D33J, Spekt1, Northern Draw, Bone Rock
Ground Kontrol
511 NW Couch St. TRONix with Bryan Zentz
Slim’s Cocktail Bar 8635 N Lombard St. DJ DirtyNick
The Lovecraft
421 SE Grand Ave. DJs Nealie Neal, Unruly
Tiga
1465 NE Prescott St. DJ Party Animal
Tiger Bar
317 NW Broadway Juicy Wednesdays: DJs Kryptic, James Steele
Tube
18 NW 3rd Ave. Paint It Black with DJ Freaky Outy (10 pm); DJ Creepy Crawl (7 pm)
Yes and No 20 NW 3rd Ave. Death Club with DJ Entropy
THURS. APRIL 5 Al’s Den at the Crystal Hotel
303 SW 12th Ave. DJ Anjali & the Incredible Kid
CC Slaughters
219 NW Davis St. Hip Hop Heaven with DJ Detroit Diezel
Ego Hours with DJ Roxy Epoxy
Someday Lounge
125 NW 5th Ave. Mr. Romo, Michael Grimes
The Crown Room 205 NW 4th Ave. Verse with Treyzilla
The Know
2026 NE Alberta St. DirtBag with DJ Gutter Glamour
The Lovecraft
421 SE Grand Ave. Ladies First
Tiga
1465 NE Prescott St. DJ Hornet Leg
Trader Vic’s
1203 NW Glisan St. DJ Drew Groove
Tube
18 NW 3rd Ave. DJ Sethro Tull
Valentine’s
232 SW Ankeny St. DJ Twin Steps
FRI. APRIL 6 Al’s Den at the Crystal Hotel 303 SW 12th Ave. DJ E3
CC Slaughters
219 NW Davis St. Flamin’ Fridays with DJ Doughalicious
Crystal Ballroom
Fez Ballroom
Element Restaurant & Lounge
316 SW 11th Ave. Shadowplay: DJs Ghoulunatic, Paradox, Horrid
Ground Kontrol
511 NW Couch St. DJs Brokenwindow, Strategy
Record Room
8 NE Killingsworth St. Nirvana Night with DJ Hero Worship
Slabtown
1033 NW 16th Ave.
1135 SW Morrison St. Chris Alice
Fez Ballroom
316 SW 11th Ave. Decadent ‘80s: DJ Non, Jason Wann; Rewind with Phonographix DJs
Goodfoot Lounge 2845 SE Stark St. DJ Magneto
Ground Kontrol
511 NW Couch St.
Valentine’s 232 SW Ankeny St. T. Putnam Hill
Yes and No 20 NW 3rd Ave. Disorder, Henry Dark
Saucebox
214 SW Broadway Connected: Supreme La Rock, DJ KEZ
The Crown Room
205 NW 4th Ave. R.A.W.: Doc Adam, DJ Nature, Ronin Roc
The Lovecraft
31 NW 1st Ave. Recess: Heyoka, Filastine, AfroQBen, Claetron
315 SE 3rd Ave. Deep Cuts: DJs Bruce LaBruiser, Kasio Smashio, Hold My Hand, Amiga
Sassy’s
927 SE Morrison St. DJ HazMatt
The Whiskey Bar
Tiga
1465 NE Prescott St. DJs Australorp, Roy D Scratcher
Tube
Star Bar
18 NW 3rd Ave. DJ Freaky Outy (10 pm); Grantichrist (7 pm)
The Crown Room
Valentine’s
639 SE Morrison St. Blank Fridays 205 NW 4th Ave. House Party!: Kellan, Avery
The Lovecraft
421 SE Grand Ave. Brickbat Mansion
Tiga
1465 NE Prescott St. DJ Ikon
Tube
18 NW 3rd Ave. Hot Mess with Doc Adam (10 pm); DJ Neil Blender (7 pm)
SAT. APRIL 7 Bossanova Ballroom
722 E Burnside St. Aries Party: DJs Kun Luv, George, Bossie
CC Slaughters
219 NW Davis St. Revolution with DJ Robb
Fez Ballroom
4904 SE Hawthorne Blvd. In the Cooky Jar with DJ Cooky Parker
3728 NE Sandy Blvd. Ayars Vocal Showcase
Rotture
Dig a Pony
Eagles Lodge, Southeast
317 NW Broadway Blues Night
421 SE Grand Ave. DJ Ghoulunatic
8 NE Killingsworth St. DJ Nealie Neal
Dig a Pony
736 SE Grand Ave. Hostile Tapeover (late set); DJ The Beatles (early set)
3341 SE Belmont St. Pagan Jug Band
Record Room
1332 W Burnside St. ‘80s Video Dance Attack with VJ Kittyrox
Dig a Pony
736 SE Grand Ave. 2ArmTom
1001 SE Morrison St. FRESH.: Daedalus, Lorn, Sonkin, Notti
Roseland Theater
736 SE Grand Ave. Maxamillion 316 SW 11th Ave. Popvideo with DJ Gigahurtz
Gypsy Restaurant & Lounge 625 NW 21st Ave. DJ Velvet
Holocene
1001 SE Morrison St. Booty Bassment: Ryan & Dmitri, Maxx Bass, Nathan Detroit
Palace of Industry 5426 N Gay Ave. DJ Pippa Possible
Record Room
8 NE Killingsworth St. DJ Swami Davis Jr.
Rotture
315 SE 3rd Ave. Andaz with DJ Anjali & The Incredible Kid
232 SW Ankeny St. DJ Drew Groove
SUN. APRIL 8 Dig a Pony
736 SE Grand Ave. Tigerstripes
The Lovecraft
421 SE Grand Ave. Dennis Dread
MON. APRIL 9 CC Slaughters
219 NW Davis St. Maniac Monday with DJ Doughalicious
Dig a Pony
736 SE Grand Ave. Jah Raph
Tiga
1465 NE Prescott St. DJ Kev It Up
Tube
18 NW 3rd Ave. DJ Toilet Love
TUES. APRIL 10 CC Slaughters
219 NW Davis St. Girltopia with DJ Robb
Dig a Pony
736 SE Grand Ave. Womb Service
The Know
2026 NE Alberta St. Eye Candy with VJ Reverend Danny Norton
Tiga
1465 NE Prescott St. DJ Partydogg
Tonic Lounge
3100 NE Sandy Blvd. Eye Candy VJs
Willamette Week APRIL 4, 2012 wweek.com
39
APRIL 4-10
= WW Pick. Highly recommended. Most prices listed are for advance ticket sales. At-the-door increases and so-called convenience charges may apply, so it’s best to call ahead. Editor: BEN WATERHOUSE. Stage: BEN WATERHOUSE (bwaterhouse@wweek. com). Classical: BRETT CAMPBELL (bcampbell@wweek.com). Dance: HEATHER WISNER (dance@wweek.com). TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit information at least two weeks in advance to: bwaterhouse@wweek.com.
THEATER The American Pilot
[NEW REVIEW] In the opening monologue of David Greig’s 2005 play, the farmer—we never learn his name— tells the audience that “the American pilot was unsettling.” The same could be said of Theatre Vertigo’s production, the saga of an American soldier who crash-lands in an unnamed warravaged country and finds his fate in the hands of a rebel leader. Greig’s play has heavy-hitting potential, but the geographical ambiguity proves frustrating and numerous characters are reduced to hollow stereotypes. Matthew Zrebski’s heavy-handed direction doesn’t help either, particularly not in the production’s blunt, overlong conclusion. There are some well-intentioned performances here, notably Gary Norman as the morally conflicted farmer, and the humors and mishaps of cross-cultural communication elicit genuine laughs. But the production straddles an uncomfortable, unsatisfying line, and we’re left with neither a story of great geopolitical import nor a compelling characterdriven drama. REBECCA JACOBSON. Theater! Theatre!, 3430 SE Belmont St., 306-0870. 8 pm Thursdays-Saturdays through April 28. $15. Thursdays are “pay what you will.”
Anna Karenina
In Czarist Russia, train catches you! Portland Center Stage turns to Tolstoy for this season’s requisite adaptation of a classic novel. Chris Coleman directs. Gerding Theater, 128 NW 11th Ave., 445-3700. 7:30 pm TuesdaysFridays, 2 and 7:30 pm SaturdaysSundays. Closes April 29. $34-$64, $20 rush tickets.
Fire Island
[NEW REVIEW] Defunkt finishes its season with Charles Mee’s disjointed jumble of musings on love. Like a lot of Mee’s work, Fire Island is a medley of short conversations between characters—young and old, gay and straight, cowboys and murderers—who share the same voice and penchant for extended metaphor, like an Altman film in which all the parts are played by Alan Alda. It is funny and boring in more or less equal measure. Director Grace Carter and cast have injected some variety into the mix with a grabbag of accents, constant projection of beach views and blowing grass and swan wings, and a lovely ambient soundtrack by Corrina Repp (she also sings a lovely, funereal cover of “Love Will Tear Us Apart”). The evident joy the performers take in the show supersedes Mee’s chin-stroking tone, especially in the second half. There’s a lot to love in this production, not the least Tom Mounsey’s impressively expressive eyebrows, even if it doesn’t reach the emotional highs of some of Carter’s previous work with the company. Take a date. BEN WATERHOUSE. The Back Door Theater, 4319 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 481-2960. 8 pm ThursdaysSundays. Closes April 28. $15-$20.
Jardin de Suenos
This acid trip at Miracle Theatre is like a Latino version of Alice in Wonderland: A young woman slips into a dream world filled with anthropomorphic creatures that serve as metaphors for her disappointing family members. The performances are ardent and often goofy, especially when paired with the chuckle-worthy costumes. But the star of the production is unquestionably the set, a lush garden that glows, drips and slowly evolves throughout the story. The play is the first locally produced show by Sofia May-Cuxim, who infused the story with elements of Latino folklore. It’s also an endorsement of the DREAM Act, a proposal that would provide a path to residency for illegal
40
immigrant students, though the play’s final moments are heavy handed with the message. Subtitle-phobes beware— the entire thing is in Spanish. A translation runs on an overhead monitor. AARON SPENCER. Miracle Theatre, 525 SE Stark St., 236-7253. 7:30 pm Thursdays, 8 pm Fridays-Saturdays, 2 pm Sundays. Closes April 14. $15-$30.
Much Ado About Nothing
[NEW REVIEW] Re-imagining Shakespeare can be a tricky business, with results either enjoyably clever or painfully horrid. Fortunately, Northwest Classical Theatre Company’s rendition of Much Ado About Nothing falls mostly under the former category. Here, the Bard’s romantic comedy takes the form of a kitschy ’60s beach party, with characters arriving via surfboard and trickery afoot at the masked luau. The campy vibe is played to pleasing effect and on the whole works well with the playful nature of the material. The dialogue remains unchanged and is delivered rapid-fire with sass and sarcasm as the warring romantic leads, Benedick and Beatrice, profess their loathing for one another while the others conspire to make them fall in love like the blissful Claudio and Hero. Unique additions include a bouncy musical number set to Shakespeare’s lyrics of “Sigh No More” and an ill-advised Beatles number at the end. The only things missing are Frankie Avalon and Annette Funicello. PENELOPE BASS. Shoe Box Theater, 2110 SE 10th Ave., 971-244-3740. 7:30 pm ThursdaysSaturdays, 2 and 7:30 pm Sundays. Closes April 22. $18-$20.
On Golden Pond
enough. Once you realize you’re not in for a drama so much as a dramatized Thanksgiving Day rant by someone’s loud, gynophobic, neocon uncle, even 80 minutes is too much to happily endure. BEN WATERHOUSE. Artists Repertory Theatre, 1515 SW Morrison St., 241-1278. 7:30 pm WednesdaySaturday, 2 and 7:30 pm Sunday, April 4-8. $25-$50, $20 students.
Shakespeare’s Amazing Cymbeline
Though it’s one of Shakespeare’s lesser-known tales, Cymbeline employs many of the playwright’s favorite plot devices—mistaken identity, forbidden love, girls disguised as boys, scheming queens, betrayal, beheadings, etc. But Portland Center Stage’s new production, Shakespeare’s Amazing Cymbeline, presents a show stripped down to its barest elements with a cast of only six actors performing on the sparsest of sets. In addition to the minimalism, director Chris Coleman’s adaptation includes a thirdparty narrator on the piano (Michael G. Keck). A congenial fellow reminiscent of Sam in Casablanca, the narrator presents Cymbeline through his own eyes, serving both to clarify the more complex scenes and offer his interpretation of the story’s theme of love betrayed. PENELOPE BASS. Gerding Theater, 128 NW 11th Ave., 445-3700. 7:30 pm Wednesday-Friday, 2 and 7:30 pm Saturday-Sunday, April 4-8. $20-$51.
Tuesdays with Morrie
Chris Murray and George Fosgate star in sports writer Mitch Albom’s play about visiting his former professor, Morrie Schwartz, during the last weeks of the latter’s life. The CoHo Theater, 2257 NW Raleigh St., 9220532. 7:30 pm Thursdays-Saturdays, 2 pm Sundays. No show Easter Sunday. $19-$24.
Playback Theater
Vincent River
Race
In David Mamet’s Race, a pair of private attorneys, one white (Todd Van Voris) and one black (Reginald Andre Jackson), attempt to construct a defense for a millionaire white guy (Jim Iorio) accused of raping a black woman. They are hindered by their client’s reluctance to discuss the incident, the incompetence of their assistant (Ayanna Berkshire playing an apparently bright black woman and graduate of a prestigious law school whom they have for some reason hired as a secretary), and a shared speech impediment that forces them to speak only in epigrams. Although the play begins with an admission that there is nothing a white man can say to a black man on the subject of race, Mamet spends 80 minutes explaining the differences ’tween white folks and black. In short: Blacks hate whites, and whites fear blacks. Not that it matters. The twists of Race’s thin plot turn on the question of which of its women is more treacherous. The accuser might be lying or the assistant might be a saboteur, unwilling to aid a rapist. Artists Rep’s production is satisfactory, but not so good as to overcome the playwright’s flaws. Director Tamara Fisch’s adept blocking smooths the play’s lurching transitions. Jackson quietly outperforms Van Voris’ thundering orations. Iorio seems as nervous as a he should. The dick-wagging patter flows fluidly, but not quickly
Willamette Week APRIL 4, 2012 wweek.com
ComedySportz
Fast-paced, competitive, familyfriendly improv. ComedySportz, 1963 NW Kearney St., 236-8888. 8 pm Fridays-Saturdays. $12.
Cowboy Little’s Big Wild West Show
A cowboy-themed monthly showcase, with country music and cowboy stories. Funhouse Lounge, 2432 SE 11th Ave., cowboylittle.com. 8 pm Fridays. $7-$12. 21+.
Electric Meat Parade
Two-man long-form improv comedy.
Theater! Theatre!, 3430 SE Belmont St. 10:15 pm Saturdays through April 21. $1-$6, depending on a die roll.
Fit to Print
A new sketch-comedy show from Stacey Hallal and company. Curious Comedy, 5225 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 477-9477. 8 pm FridaysSaturdays through May 5. $12-$15.
Neil Hamburger
Neil Hamburger was once a parody of a bad stand-up comedian. Go back to a young Gregg Turkington’s mid’90s Hamburger routines, and you’ll hear the same awkward and out-ofdate material (“Why did God send Terri Schiavo to hell? For the sin of sloth.”) without the phlegmy retches and short-circuited punch lines that make the contemporary version of his character so frustrating. But, anti-humor isn’t supposed to be ironically funny— it’s supposed to an assault to funni-
REVIEW
Standing on Ceremony
Artists Rep presents nine 10-minute plays about same-sex marriage by renowned playwrights including Doug Wright, Paul Rudnick, Moisés Kaufman and Jordan Harrison. A portion of the proceeds benefit Basic Rights Oregon. Artists Repertory Theatre, 1515 SW Morrison St., 241-1278. 10 pm FridaySaturday, April 6-7; 7:30 pm FridaySaturday, 2 pm Sunday, April 13-15; 7:30 pm Friday-Sunday, April 19-21. $15 for 10 pm performances, $25 for all others.
Lakewood Theatre presents Ernest Thompson’s family drama about generation gaps, marriage and a pond. Lakewood Center for the Arts, 368 S State St., Lake Oswego, 635-3901. 7:30 pm Thursdays-Saturdays, 7 pm Sundays March 11-25, 2 pm Sundays March 18-April 15. $25-$28.
Audience members tell stories, which are then brought to life on the spot by Playback’s team of improvisers. The Headwaters, 55 NE Farragut St., No. 9, brownpapertickets.com/event/230150. 7:30 pm Saturday, April 7. $15-$17, $10 for students.
“the bro code” and a loving ballad to happy hour. Although some moments are a bit rough around the edges, the overall performance manages the right balance of spontaneity and continuity—and puppets. PENELOPE BASS. Funhouse Lounge, 2432 SE 11th Ave. 8 pm Saturdays through April 14. “Pay what you want.” 21+.
CHRISTINA RICCETTI
PERFORMANCE
Sowelu Theater returns after a fiveyear hiatus with Philip Ridley’s play about a pair of desperate characters whose paths are destined to cross. Theater! Theatre!, 3430 SE Belmont St., $18. 7:30 pm Thursdays-Saturdays, 4 pm Sundays. Closes April 21. $18, $12 students.
Wicked
Oh, hey, Wicked is back, again. Where’d I put the green face paint? Keller Auditorium, 222 SW Clay St., 241-1802. 7:30 pm Wednesday-Friday, 2 and 7:30 pm Saturday, 1 and 6:30 pm Sunday, April 4-8. $43.50-$144.
COMEDY AND VARIETY Avenue PDX
There’s something undeniably amusing about watching foul-mouthed puppets talk about sex, get stoned and vomit from a vodka hangover. It’s probably why the Broadway puppet musical Avenue Q won three Tony awards. Doing their part locally to celebrate the lost art of puppetry, Portland improv troupe the Unscriptables is offering its own version of puppet obscenity with Avenue PDX. Being improv, the performance will, of course, be different every time. But the basic premise is a cast of characters (some human, some puppet) who all live in the same apartment building in Portland, including new-toPortland Jack, sexy nerd Sally, Mayor Henry Weinhard and sexual deviant Mr. Jenky. Taking our audience’s theme suggestions of “vodka” and “being poor,” the troupe crafted a genuinely funny production complete with improvised musical numbers about
RAMONA LISA ALEXANDER AS OYA
IN THE RED AND BROWN WATER (PORTLAND PLAYHOUSE) If you’re going to run from the swamp, you’d best keep running. Oya runs fast enough to earn a track scholarship, but stays behind to care for her ailing mother. When autumn rolls around again, the scholarship is gone. Then she turns down the affections of a responsible but boring man, Ogun, in favor of Shango, a Lothario who swaggers through life with his hand on his cock. You can see where this is going. Oya’s misfortunes unfold as in a dream, one scene rolling suddenly into the next with a terrible logic. We are all dreaming. In the Red and Brown Water is the first of Tarell Alvin McCraney’s three interrelated “Brother/Sister Plays” set in the fictional delta town of San Pere, La. (Portland Playhouse is presenting all three in repertory. The remaining two open April 21.) The 31-year-old playwright has attracted enthusiastic comparisons to August Wilson, but they share little beyond census designation and a fascination with the rhythm of American speech. For all his lyrical talent, Wilson had a weakness for eye-rolling overstatement, as if to shout, “See what I did there?” McCraney’s writing never breaks rhythm to check if the audience is keeping up. The words flow as if they’d been passed down from generations long forgotten, sometimes unintelligible but always moving. The characters voice their stage directions before they perform them, or at least those that can be performed. Brian Demar Jones doesn’t quite “enter like the moon,” but he gets as close as one could hope. Director Victor Mack emphasizes McCraney’s mythic tone with repetitive choreography and naturalistic emotion. The sense of an ancient present is reinforced by the fantastic, allusive costumes created by Kathy Scoggins and Ramona Lisa Alexander from street fashion. The cast is among the finest I’ve seen on stage this season. Alexander sweeps up the audience in Oya’s bad decisions while Damian Thompson, full of erotic menace, seduces and repulses. Jones, who I hope will become a regular in the Portland scene, seems to float delicately through the scene, his angular frame astonishingly graceful. Their performance is entrancing; days later, I’ve yet to feel awoken. BEN WATERHOUSE.
A sweltering dream of terrible timing.
SEE IT: In the Red and Brown Water is at Portland Playhouse, 602 NE Prescott St., 205-0715, portlandplayhouse.org. 7:30 pm ThursdaysSaturdays, 2 pm Sundays through April 15; 4 pm Saturdays and 7:30 pm some Fridays April 21-May 13. $12-$23.
PERFORMANCE
“Gorgeous. The Swedes’ riskiness and speed are breathtaking.”
ROSEMARY RAGUSA PHOTOGRAPHY
APRIL 4-10 ness. Twenty years on, Hamburger’s bombs are nuclear. God, help us. MARTIN CIZMAR. Star Theater, 13 NW 6th Ave. 9 pm Thursday, April 5. $12-$13. 21+.
The Super Ultra Mega Virgins Comedy Tour
Action/Adventure Theatre presents stand-up by funny nerds Travis Vogt, Mike Drucker and Derek Sheen. Action/Adventure Theater, 1050 SE Clinton St., actionadventure. org. 8 pm Thursday, April 5. $10.
The Boston Globe
Two Houses
An improvised love story ending in a wedding. Brody Theater, 16 NW Broadway, 224-2227. 7:30 pm Saturdays through April 21. $8-$10.
Umbrella Festival of Bohemian Arts
The Weekly Recurring Humor Night
A comedy showcase hosted by Whitney Streed. Tonic Lounge, 3100 NE Sandy Blvd., 238-0543. 9:30 pm Wednesdays. “Pay what you want,” $3-$5 suggested. 21+.
CLASSICAL 45th Parallel
The local organization that presents chamber music once again teams up with All Classical 89.9 FM to honor two very different fiddle legends. Sergiu Luca accomplished many things in his long classical-music career, but the dearest to Portland was his founding of the Chamber Music Northwest presenting series, which is still going strong 41 years later. Joe Venuti is generally considered the papa of jazz violin for his work in the 1920s and ’30s. To honor both men, Oregon Symphony violinist Greg Ewer, pianist Cary Lewis, jazz violinist James Mason and colleagues will play a suite by the late19th/early-20th-century Norwegian composer Christian Sinding and two pieces by the great Seattle-born contemporary American composer William Bolcom, including one of his famous rags, which leads directly to a Venuti-style hot-jazz set. The Old Church, 1422 SW 11th Ave., 943-5828. 8 pm Saturday, April 7. $20-$25.
Claire Huangci
In this Portland Piano International recital, the award-winning, 20-year-old New York piano prodigy plays music by Chopin, Scriabin, Beethoven, Bach and Tchaikovsky. Warning: They might sell out. Lincoln Hall, Portland State University, 1620 SW Park Ave., 2281388. 4 pm Sunday, April 8. $15-$54.
Douglas Detrick, Kenny Feinstein and (not that) Sam Adams
One of the University of Oregon’s most exciting recent jazz grads, trumpeter/singer/composer Detrick, who’s now working his way up the New York City jazz ladder, will join Cherry Poppin’ Daddies guitarist Bill Marsh in folk-song arrangements and originals. Fellow UO alum guitarist/mandolinist Kenny Feinstein (the former Foghorn String Band member who now leads Water Tower) and Portland singer/songwriter/multi-instrumentalist/notmayor Sam Adams will also perform in duo settings. Camellia Lounge, 510 NW 11th Ave., 221-2130. 8 pm Friday, April 6. $5. 21+.
Honey Ear Trio, Battle Hymns and Gardens, Why I Must Be Careful The Brooklyn threesome looks like a standard jazz/sax trio, but their
FIRE ISLAND exploratory improvisations incorporate looping and electronic effects, rock, soul and folk elements, as befit musicians who’ve played with everyone from Ani DiFranco to Levon Helm, Allen Toussaint, Branford Marsalis, Bob Dylan, Medeski Martin and Wood and many others. The former Better Homes and Gardens have tweaked only their name, but fortunately not the sterling lineup of Blue Cranes’ Joe Cunningham and Reed Wallsmith, bassist Jon Shaw and percussion adventurer Tim DuRoche. Their recent Portland Jazz Festival set showed the quartet persuasively combining some ’60s-style free-jazz possibilities with a more structured framework to create some of the city’s most intriguing improvisation. WIMBC’s Seth Brown (keyboards) and John Niekrasz (drums) similarly transcend conventional instrumentation to find a singular space that’s somewhere between rock and free jazz. Secret Society Lounge, 116 NE Russell St., 493-3600. 8 pm Thursday, April 5. $8-$15.
Pacifica Quartet
Its name might be increasingly inaccurate—founded in California in 1994, the quartet’s had residence at the University of Illinois for the past decade, and now holds the same position at New York’s Metropolitan Museum of Art and the University of Indiana—but Pacifica Quartet’s music-making just keeps getting better. Having already performed complete cycles of Beethoven, Mendelssohn and Shostakovich string quartets, the award-winning ensemble has also taken on the fearsome challenge of centenarian composer Elliott Carter’s quartets, which they will fortunately spare us this time. Instead, Monday’s Friends of Chamber Music concert features works by young Beethoven, Dvorák (his evergreen “American Quartet”) and the prolific Soviet-era composer Nikolai Myaskovsky (his conservative, but well-crafted thirteenth quartet), while Tuesday’s boasts a double shot of Beethoven (early and middle period) and Shostakovich’s intense String Quartet No. 9. Lincoln Hall, Portland State University, 1620 SW Park Ave., 224-9842. 7:30 pm Monday-Tuesday, April 9-10. $27-$40.
Portland Opera: Galileo Galilei
[NEW REVIEW] Philip Glass’ 2002 chamber opera views Galileo Galilei through the wrong end of the telescope, rendering one of history’s most dramatic stories smaller than life. Unlike the Glass’ earlier, grandscale metaphorical evocations of famous historical figures, Portland Opera’s 90-minute, relatively literal, intimately scaled production necessarily skims the surface, distancing us from Galileo’s relationship with his daughter, his world-changing experiments, and above all his dramatic, near fatal confrontation with the church/state’s view that the sun revolved around the earth. (Just substitute “climate change” or “evolution” for “heliocentrism” and we have today’s Republican primaries.) But Anne Manson’s crisp conducting, designer Curt Enderle’s gorgeous set, Mary Zimmerman’s imagistic concept,
Kevin Newbury’s clever, briskly circling stage direction, and generally strong performances in multiple roles by the company’s young studio artists (especially cardinals/ oracles Matthew Hayward and John Holiday, Nicholas Nelson’s Pope and Andre Chiang’s Galileo) overcome occasional intonational lapses and Glass’s static stretches and cruel soprano vocal writing. After hitting cruise control about halfway through, the music and action burst back to life in a dazzling horn- and percussion-fueled final scene that makes even this distant if colorful view of humanity’s greatest scientist well worth a gaze. Newmark Theatre, Portland Center for the Performing Arts, 1111 SW Broadway, 241-1802, portlandopera.org. 7:30 pm Thursday and Saturday, April 5 and 7. $20-$115.
Young Artists Debut Concert
Metro Arts’ annual showcase for rising young musicians (ages 12-21) features 10 concerto-competition winners who’ll perform with Oregon Symphony and Oregon Ballet Theatre musicians led by Niel DePonte. Newmark Theatre, 1111 SW Broadway, 245-4885. 7:30 pm Tuesday, April 10. $15-$25.
WEST COAST PREMIERE
THE
Noah Mickens and the Alberta Rose Theatre present a three-day showcase of music, burlesque, acrobatics, etc. Friday features Vagabond Opera, Tears of Joy Puppet Theatre and Professor Gall. Saturday features The Stolen Sweets, Strangled Darlings and Boy and Bean. Sunday features Wanderlust Circus, Hurqalya and Aeon Now. Alberta Rose Theatre, 3000 NE Alberta St., 719-6055. 8 pm Friday-Saturday, 7 pm Sunday, April 6-8. $25 per night, $45 for all three.
GÖTEBORG BALLET
FROM SWEDEN
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APRIL 12-14 NEWMARK THEATRE 7:30PM
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Goteborg Ballet - WW.indd 1
4/1/2012 9:12:06 PM
DANCE Burlesque S’il Vous Plait
Monthly burlesque show features rotating cast of performers. Crush, 1400 SE Morrison St., 235-8150. 8:30 pm first Fridays of the month. $7. 21+.
Burlynomicon
Burlesque, the latest darling of the performance scene, has been remixed with everything from fire to midgets. So why not throw goth into the mix? The Lovecraft—an oh-so-Portland horror-themed tea house and bar—hosts Burleynomicon, a theatrical tease with a dark-ish twist. The folks who brought you Geeklesque have conspired on this new monthly show, which debuts with performances by Hai Fleisch, Lizzy O’Boom, Wanda Bones and Saffron Savant. The Lovecraft, 421 SE Grand Ave., 971270-7760. 9:30 pm second Tuesdays monthly.
First Friday Irish Music & Dance Ceili Mor
Mikey Beglan and Danny O’Hanlon play live at this community event; Sam Keator will be teaching and calling the dances. All ages are welcome—no partner or experience required. Winona Grange No. 271, 8340 SW Seneca St., Tualatin, 6912078. 7 pm Friday, April 6. $5-$10. All Ages.
The Phoenix Variety Revue
Monthly variety show features rotating cast of performers. Kelly’s Olympian, 426 SW Washington St., 228-3669. 6:30 pm every second Sunday. $7.
For more Performance listings, visit
“…the pre-eminent guitarist of our time.” Boston Magazine
The Classical Guitar Saturday, April 14 | 7:30 pm Sunday, April 15 | 2 pm Monday, April 16 | 8 pm Carlos Miguel Prieto, conductor • Sharon Isbin, guitar
TICKETS GOING FAST!
Ravel: Alborada del gracioso • Rodrigo: Fantasía para un gentilhombre Gubaidulina: Fairytale Poem Mussorgsky/Ravel: Pictures at an Exhibition
Tickets start at $26 – while they last! Groups of 10 or more save: 503-416-6380
Call: 503-228-1353 Click: OrSymphony.org Come in: 923 SW Washington | 10 am – 6 pm Mon – Fri
ARLENE
SCHNITZER
CONCERT
HALL
Willamette Week APRIL 4, 2012 wweek.com
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Titanic 1912
ww presents
I M A D E T HIS
VISUAL ARTS
APRIL 4-10
= WW Pick. Highly recommended. By RICHARD SPEER. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit show information—including opening and closing dates, gallery address and phone number—at least two weeks in advance to: Visual Arts, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: rspeer@wweek.com.
A Musical Night to Remember
chicken pox. There is something simultaneously smart and stonecold dumb in these paintings, which will have you laughing out loud in spite of yourself. Through April 22. Rocksbox, 6540 N Interstate Ave., 971-506-8938.
Of Other Spaces
Two Performances!
featuring art
Saturday, April 14, 7:30 PM Sunday, April 15, 2:30 PM
by
First Congregational United Church of Christ
“Deliquesce” is a fancy word for what happens to mushrooms when they rot and liquify. It’s the concept at the center of Michael Endo and Emily Nachison’s exhibition, of other spaces. Sculpting mushrooms and other fungi out of cast glass, Nachison uses installations such as the circular Portal to illustrate the cycle of life and death as each of 20 mushrooms grows, withers and melts into the soil. These images of organic decay are complemented by Endo’s images of urban decay. Using oil paint and kiln-formed glass, Endo depicts desolate cityscapes with burning tires and derelict houses. It’s a thought-provoking thematic pairing. Through April 28. Bullseye Gallery, 300 NW 13th Ave., 227-0222.
Andrea Benson
Paul Dahlquist
1126 SW Park Avenue Downtown Portland 503.228.7219 | uccportland.org
NEW POLLUTION BY EVA SPEER
Presented By: space sponsored by
Tickets on sale through BoxOfficeTickets.com Keywords: ucc portland
Take a look! } P. 55
Britta Bogers
A gallery with an international focus, Victory debuted last August with a showcase of Dutch artists, following up in subsequent months with work by artists from Hong Kong and the United Kingdom. This month it’s Germany’s turn. Cologne-based Britta Bogers leads off a threemonth inquiry into German art with abstract compositions on paper and fiberboard. With rigor and a panache that never devolves into flash, Bogers reminds us that there is still much to be mined from the controlled interplay of line and color. Through May 2. Victory Gallery, 733 NW Everett St., 208-3585.
Disjecta’s “Portland 2012” at The Art Gym
This satellite show, part of Disjecta’s Portland 2012, is the biennial’s most materially eclectic iteration so far. Highlights include Jack Ryan’s tilting structure made of wood and flickering electric candles; Marie Sivak’s hanging-magnet installation; and Dustin Zemel’s four-channel synchronized video, which riffs on Terry Riley-style musical sequencing. Ben Killen Rosenberg’s amateurish cardboard cityscape misses the mark, as do Cynthia Lahti’s trite paper sculptures, but Future Death Toll’s bizarre BEEGAS wins points for bravado. A beeswax casting of a naked man, complete with hairy legs and hairy scrotum, hangs in the air at an odd angle, exuding a morbid charm reminiscent of the late installation artist Edward Kienholz. It’s unnerving to look at but simultaneously transfixing, like an auto accident you pass on the freeway. Through April 4. Marylhurst Art Gym, 17600 Pacific Highway, 699-6243.
Eva Speer: Superficial Injuries
Superficial Injuries is an apt title for Eva Speer’s latest body of work. After all, to paint on a canvas is to injure it, to mark it irrevocably and turn what was once a tabula rasa into a seductively imperfect record of the artist’s intent. Speer’s most engaging paintings depict waves rolling across the open sea. She renders these seascapes with a superb hyper-realist technique but interrupts her compositions with jarring dollops and trails of smeared paint. This has the effect of selectively ruining her otherwise carefully constructed illusionism, reminding the viewer that this is, after all, “only” a painting. Through April 28. Charles A. Hartman Fine Art, 134 NW 8th Ave., 287-3886.
Generations: Betty Feves
To conclude the museum’s 75th anniversary celebration, curator
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Willamette Week APRIL 4, 2012 wweek.com
Namita Gupta Wiggers presents Generations: Betty Feves, exploring the output of a groundbreaking but underappreciated artist. Feves (1918-1985) worked predominantly in ceramics, but her appeal transcends stylistic ghettoization. She studied with Abstract Expressionist master Clyfford Still, and her highly organic, primeval-meets-Space-Age forms betray the influences of that illustrious lineage. Through July 28. Museum of Contemporary Craft, 724 NW Davis St., 223-2654.
Laura Fritz: Entorus
Art lovers with long memories will recall Laura Fritz’s installations at the Everett Station Lofts in the early 2000s, in which strange, crawling objects blurred lines between biological and robotic forms. More recently, as in 2009’s Evident at the now-defunct New American Art Union, the artist has essayed a more ethereal approach, using darkness and light to capture viewers’ imaginations while thwarting their attempts at understanding. In Entorus, she promises to up the ante with an even more mysterious spatial environment. April 4-29. Special Project Space, 1231 NW Hoyt St., Suite B5.
Mark Rothko
Mark Rothko (1903-1970) was among a handful of artists who defined Abstract Expressionism in the middle of the 20th century. It is little known in most modern-art circles that Rothko lived in Portland during his formative years, from age 10 to 18. Local artist-curator Jeff Jahn has forcibly suggested that Portland’s misty atmospherics subliminally influenced Rothko’s mature style, in which misty sfumato separates blocky color fields. Now, Portland Art Museum chief curator Bruce Guenther brings us a largescale retrospective considering the artist’s entire output. It is sure to number among the year’s most challenging exhibitions. Through May 27. Portland Art Museum, 1219 SW Park Ave., 226-0973.
Night-tide Daytripping
Hilariously irreverent, Ralph Pugay’s paintings combine a cartoonist’s gift for concision with a social critic’s wit. Each of Pugay’s lowbrow vignettes illustrates a central conceit: Homo sapiens evolving from ape into corporate-drone family man; a group of convicts happening upon minimalist artist Robert Smithson’s famous Spiral Jetty; a blind man reading a Braille copy of Ayn Rand’s Atlas Shrugged; and a group of swingers having an orgy, despite the fact that they all have
Octogenarian photographer Paul Dahlquist has been a fixture of the Portland art scene for longer than many of us have been alive. Although he recently moved to Seattle, Dahlquist hasn’t slipped off the Stumptown radar. Last month, curator Paul Soriano headed up I-5 to sift through the photographer’s prodigious archives. The result is a thoroughly fresh exhibition of erotic images, most of which have never been exhibited before. As Soriano explains, the models for these illicit reveries “are mostly male nudes but also include women, twosomes, threesomes, black, white, Latino, old and young, ranging a time span from 1984 until 2010.” The show promises a transgressive follow-up to Cock Gallery’s provocative March debut, which featured paintings and sculptures about sphincters and defecation. April 5-30. Cock Gallery, 625 NW Everett St., #106, 552-8686.
Portland 2012: A Biennial of Contemporary Art
Enormous, air-filled plastic balls spatially dominated the main exhibition of Portland 2012: A Biennial of Contemporary Art. The balls belong to an ambitious installation by Brian Gillis, which, although impressively scaled, seems conceptually confused. Its impact is mitigated by the cheap-looking plastic banners that hang from each ball and describe, in thoroughly uninteresting text, esoteric phenomena such as the 1980s soft-drink flop “New Coke” and the Berkeley Pit tourist attraction in Butte, Mont. On the gallery’s north wall, a large painting by Grant Hottle deftly juxtaposes exterior and interior scenes with motifs such as Mount Hood, a roaring hearth and a human skull. Although well-composed, the painting holds its thematic cards too close to the vest and is apt to puzzle viewers. Perhaps the show’s most memorable piece is also its simplest. Matt McCormick’s projected treetops cast silhouetted images into a corner, the trees distorting as they move across the wall, morphing into elegant, haunting abstractions. Curated by arts writer and educator Prudence Roberts, this biennial feels more formal than Disjecta’s 2010 lineup, which was curated by Cris Moss. It also seems more crowded and less aesthetically accessible. Whether this reflects the curation or simply the splintering of factions within the Portland art scene over the last two years is hard to know. All in all, this biennial points to a less-focused, more sprawling concentration of artists well-versed in diverse materials but still searching for captivating themes. Through April 28. Disjecta, 8371 N Interstate Ave., 286-9449.
For more Visual Arts listings, visit
BOOKS
APRIL 4-10
= WW Pick. Highly recommended. By MARIANNA HANE WILES. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit lecture or reading information at least two weeks in advance to: WORDS, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: words@wweek.com. Fax: 243-1115.
WEDNESDAY, APRIL 4
includes a reading by a featured poet (Maxine Scates this week), and an open-mic session. Wander around the garden a bit before the reading, and I almost guarantee you’ll have a haiku or sonnet to share. Lan Su Chinese Garden, Northwest 3rd Avenue and Everett Street. 2 pm. Free with garden admission or membership.
MONDAY, APRIL 9
Looking for a Summer Camp?
Check out Willamette Week’s Summer Camp Guide on pages 49-50
Christopher Moore
The brilliant and wacky Christopher Moore (Lamb, Bite Me) returns to Portland to share his latest: Sacré Bleu. Set in Paris, it follows a young painter who joins ToulouseLautrec to sort out whether Vincent van Gogh really killed himself. Hilarity ensues. Bagdad Theater & Pub, 3702 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 236-9234. 7 pm. $26.99, including a copy of Sacré Bleu.
THURSDAY, APRIL 5 The Science of Sexual Orientation
English neuroscientist Simon LeVay has spent 20 years researching variations in brain structure among individuals of differing sexual orientations. His efforts have led to nearly a dozen books that come down on the nature side of the nature/nurture debate, including Gay, Straight and the Reason Why and the college textbook Human Sexuality. Pacific University’s Taylor Meade Performing Arts Center, 2014 Cedar St., Forest Grove. 7 pm. Free. All ages.
Scott Sigler
Best-selling thriller author Scott Sigler reads from his latest. Nocturnal features a homicide detective in San Francisco who stumbles onto evidence of killings that date to the gold-rush days. Powell’s Books at Cedar Hills Crossing, 3415 SW Cedar Hills Blvd., Beaverton, 228-4651. 7 pm. Free.
Beth Howard
Grief hits people in different ways. After the loss of her husband, Beth Howard turned to baking pies and sharing them with friends. A former Portland resident, Howard turned her experience into a book—Making Piece: A Memoir of Love, Loss and Pie. I have a hunch there will be pie on offer at the reading. Broadway Books, 1714 NE Broadway, 284-1726. 7 pm. Free.
TUESDAY, APRIL 10 John Beer
Chicago-based poet John Beer, author of the very originally named The Waste Land and Other Poems, reads his work in the ornate Frank Manor House on the Lewis & Clark campus. Lewis & Clark College, 0615 SW Palatine Road, 768-7000. 7 pm. Free.
Sandra Steingraber
Ecologist Sandra Steingraber is the author of a number of nonfiction titles, including Living Downstream and Raising Elijah. In this talk, hosted by The Northwest Center for Alternatives to Pesticides, Steingraber will speak on the link between environmental pollution and human illness and cancer. The Old Church, 1422 SW 11th Ave., 2222031. 7-9 pm. Free.
FRIDAY, APRIL 6 Best Sex Writing 2012
In a world where every genre requires the annual release of a “best-of” book, it was only a matter of time before sex-writing joined the crowd. Contributors Kevin Sampsell, Lidia Yuknavitch and Tim Elhajj will join editor Rachel Kramer Bussel for the reading. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 2284651. 7:30 pm. Free.
SATURDAY, APRIL 7 Peach Blossom Poetry Series
To celebrate both springtime and National Poetry Month, Lan Su Chinese Garden is hosting a Saturday poetry series. Each week
Jonah Lehrer
Breaking news: Everyone is creative! That’s the gist of Imagine: How Creativity Works, Jonah Lehrer’s new best-selling book on the science of creativity. He’s speaking in Portland as part of OHSU’s Brain Awareness Series. Oregon Convention Center, 777 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 2357575. 7 pm. $30. Tickets available through TicketsWest.com or by calling 1-800-992-8499.
For more Words listings, visit Willamette Week APRIL 4, 2012 wweek.com
43
APRIL 4-10 MEMORIES
= WW Pick. Highly recommended.
PA R A M O U N T P I C T U R E S
MOVIES
Editor: AARON MESH. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, send screening information at least two weeks in advance to Screen, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: amesh@wweek.com. Fax: 243-1115.
21 Jump Street
81 I’m betting the original 21 Jump
Street was not quite so explicitly fixated on dicks or as unapologetic about teen hedonism as its crass copy. And I can’t imagine it was this much fun. Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum star as Schmidt and Jenko, a mismatched pair of inept cops who bungle an arrest and get shunted to an undercover unit dedicated to sniffing out high-school crimes. The script might as well have been adapted from a rejected pitch for Harold and Kumar Go to 12th Grade. The idiocy is even strangely liberating, devolving as it does from a neat subversion of the high-school-as-hell cliché that guides most teen comedies. In the imaginary world cooked up by screenwriter Michael Bacall and the co-directors who made Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs, high school is an exceedingly tolerant realm of ethical nonmonogamy, experimentation and play. So Schmidt and Jenko aren’t cleaning up a mess so much as sneaking into a utopia where smart people do dumb things the right way. R. CHRIS STAMM. Lloyd Center, Cedar Hills, Clackamas, Eastport, Cinetopia Mill Plain, Cornelius, Oak Grove, Pioneer Place, Bridgeport, City Center, Evergreen, Hilltop, Sherwood, Tigard, Wilsonville, Sandy, St. Johns Twin Cinema-Pub.
Act of Valor
The many adventures of REAL NAVY SEALS. Not screened for WW by press deadlines. R. Clackamas, Oak Grove, Bridgeport, Tigard. NEW
All In: The Poker Movie
56 “This is like the Kennedy
Assassination,” says a gambler from All In, referring to the Justice Department’s seizure of online card sites last year. “Every poker player knows where he was.” Most of them were playing poker, or recovering from playing poker. That’s the crux of Douglas Tirola’s agitated documentary: Its subjects are single-mindedly fixated on the card table, and this is their Zapruder film. For a casual player, the movie is more fun in its first 30 minutes, when it follows the outline of James McManus’ history Cowboys Full; once it hits the poker boom of the early aughts, it bogs down in tales of emotionally stunted dorks and their cash grab (plus Matt Damon). These are meant to be the movie’s heroes, but they lack the panache of an Amarillo Slim: They’re just speculators, no different than the Wall Street traders they overlap with. I can’t get outraged that the government decided to regulate somebody. AARON MESH. Clinton Street Theater. 7 and 9 pm Friday-Thursday, April 6-12. NEW
American Reunion
Somehow, Stifler isn’t dead. Not screened for critics by WW press deadlines; look for a review on wweek. com. R. Lloyd Center, Cedar Hills, Clackamas, Eastport, Cinetopia Mill Plain, Cornelius, Oak Grove, Pioneer Place, Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Evergreen, Hilltop, Sherwood, Tigard, Wilsonville, Sandy. NEW
Antichrist
60 [THREE NIGHTS ONLY, REVIVAL] Antichrist is the most bloodless movie ever to contain a clitorodectomy self-performed with a pair of scissors. It may be unfair to call it junk cinema, though director Lars von Trier’s latest taunt does contain many shots of its lead couple’s junk, mostly in the process of being smashed with fireplace logs. But it’s clinical and abstracted, as if its characters were numbed not only by grief but also with horse tranquilizers. Don’t let the marketing fool you—the movie is not a piece of woodland camp, even if it features a lot of hoo-ha about nut trees, millstones drilled through the femur, and a talking fox. No, this is Serious Cinema, using adroit techniques to address Serious Ideas. The problem is
44
that these ideas are a load of balls. I am supposed to write about how Lars von Trier has been sadistically debasing women from Breaking the Waves through Dogville, or argue that he’s secretly engaged in some kind of guerrilla feminism. But here we might ask whether it’s worth getting outraged by a movie where the weightiest assertion is “bitches be crazy”—or whether the other possible moral, “people be crazy,” is any more profound. AARON MESH. 5th Avenue Cinema. 7 and 9:30 pm Friday-Saturday, April 6-7. 3 pm Sunday, April 8.
The Artist
64 Repressed memories drive The Artist. It’s a silent-film homage to silent films—or, rather, the fond, slightly condescending recollection of silent films. Lavished with Oscars, the comedy from Michel Hazanavicius (who directed the two OSS 177 spoofs) is yet another take on A Star Is Born, with a slam-bang energetic Jean Dujardin trading places in the spotlight with flapper Bérénice Bejo at the cusp of talkies. The period is apt, since most of the movie’s charms are technical gimmicks. PG-13. AARON MESH. Hollywood Theatre, Fox Tower.
Being Flynn
58 The problem with most film adap-
tations from memoirs is a simple one: The narrator does little except talk and think about what everybody else is doing. In film form, this can often mean its main character becomes a mopey cipher around whom (and to whom) terrible or amazing things happen. In Being Flynn, based on Nick Flynn’s drug-and-daddy-issue memoir Another Bullshit Night in Suck City, every action and plot twist is given interior monologue, prepackaged through flashback, or bluntly narrated from the pages of the book. Paul Dano, as Flynn, therefore has the unenviable task of trying to wring emotional depths from hushed, flat, on-the-nose voice-over as he plays an anemically troubled, would-be writer who encounters his debilitatingly alcoholic father (the hamming Robert De Niro) as a resident in the homeless facility where Flynn works. In the meantime, Flynn develops the world’s fastest crack addiction and has the world’s fastest recovery, played out in dialogue interspersed throughout the movie as follows: Flynn Jr.: “Am I my father?” FJ: “I’m not my father!” Flynn Sr.: “You are me!” FS: “I made you, but you’re not me.” Almost a Beckett play, really, apart from the numbing-if-capable reliance on cliché and the twominute heartwarming montage during which life gets suddenly awesome. R. MATTHEW KORFHAGE. Fox Tower.
Boy
NEW
67 Taika Waititi, in the first part of
Boy, applies the same broad Napoleon Dynamite ain’t-we-retro-trashy popculture brush as in his first feature, Eagle vs. Shark, but this time around the batshit antics are balanced with a slow-dawning reality principle that eventually impinges on the characters’ fantasy-addled lives. Title 11-yearold character Boy and his shantytown Maori cohorts (other characters are named Rocky, Falcon Crest and Michael Jackson) improvise amid the rubble until Boy’s oafish dad resurfaces from prison and pretty much screws everything up so consistently that even his young children are forced to notice; what had been an exercise in style and suspended disbelief becomes something instead much closer to home, if perhaps too late to fully register. MATTHEW KORFHAGE. Fox Tower. NEW
Bug Out Film Fest in 3D
The magical performers of Cirque du Soleil dress as insects and POKE YOU IN THE EYE. Living Room Theaters.
Casa de Mi Padre
68 The best joke of Will Ferrell’s new
movie is that it exists at all. Nearly entirely in Spanish, with Ferrell playing
Willamette Week APRIL 4, 2012 wweek.com
I’M SO COLD: Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio, circa 1997.
NEVER FORGET PAINT US LIKE ONE OF YOUR FRENCH GIRLS, JACK. COMP ILED BY AA RO N MESH
amesh@wweek.com
already seen it by that point or were boycotting it. I ended up enjoying it and developed a crush on Kate Winslet, but I’ve never watched it again. Devan Cook, blogger at Nike: I lived in the middle of nowhere in Arizona, and my mom’s friend had to drive us over an hour to a town with a theater, and when we got there, it was sold out. My friend cried, so they let us sit in the aisle to watch it. So not worth sitting on a concrete floor for three hours. But that didn’t stop my friends from bringing framed Leonardo DiCaprio photos to school and setting them up on their desks. The girl I saw the movie with knocked hers over one day and it broke, and then she cut her hand really bad trying to pick up the glass before the teacher yelled at her. Then Leo photos were banned from the classroom.
It turns out the heart does go on. This week, Titanic becomes the latest cash cow to be re-milked in 3-D. The release will cause slight heart palpitations in some people and a twinge of bile in others. But it’s also a reminder of a phenomenon never since equaled at the movies. (Sure, James Cameron made even more money with Avatar, but you can’t tell us it felt the same.) Titanic was a romance that defied snide jokes about how everybody already knew the ending, because people returned to watch that ending again and again. So we asked a few friends of the newspaper to dive down into their memories, 15 years back, to the moment they fell in love with a doomed boy in third class and the rich girl who showed him the Heart of the Ocean. What follows is an oral history of a fictionalization of history.
Willy Vlautin, novelist and musician: I was an inch away from pouring gasoline on myself when I heard “Oh Jack...oh Rose!” for the hundredth time. It’s a movie I’ve always despised. The problem is, the friend I was with was crying and mouthing the words “Jack” over and over the whole movie. She would have poured gasoline on me if it meant she could get Jack. Christ, what a train wreck that movie is.
Katherine Vetrano, freelance food writer: I was definitely in the obsessed-with-Titanic camp. To be fair, I was in elementary school. I have a distinct memory of sitting around at someone’s tea party-themed birthday party and listening to Celine Dion’s song. Some of us nodded gravely at
Nikki Volpicelli, WW music writer: It was 1997 and I was 10 years old. I didn’t like boys yet, or so I thought, until I saw Leo dressed up in rags and wearing that shaggy bowl cut. The part that really got to me was that iconic scene where the old man and woman lay peacefully on the bed
“THEN LEO PHOTOS WERE BANNED FROM THE CLASSROOM.” its beauty, while others mouthed along since we, of course, knew it by heart. I was so obsessed with Titanic when it came out that I started a Titanic club at my elementary school in California. We studied the real Titanic and read about the actual people who died on it, which now that I think back on it was a little morbid for a fifth-grader. Dannon Dripps, manager of the Academy Theater: I was a senior in high school when it came out, so it was the theme of our prom. God, I hated that song. I remember it being the first movie I went to the theater to see by myself. Everyone I knew had
that’s floating above water and they’re holding hands, accepting their fate. It got to me and it got to the 80-year-old man beside me, who was farting so loud it sounded like mini tubas muffled by seat cushions. I told myself I wouldn’t cry, but I did. I cried like a baby or a 10-year-old girl. And as the old man beside me continued to pass his iceberg-sized gas, I cried a little more. SEE IT: Titanic 3D is rated PG-13. It opens Wednesday at Lloyd Center, Cedar Hills, Clackamas, Eastport, Cinetopia Mill Plain, Cornelius, Pioneer Place, Bridgeport, City Center, Evergeen, Hilltop, Sherwood, Tigard, Willsonville and Sandy.
APRIL 4-10
MOVIES
NEW Comic-Con Episode IV: A Fan’s Hope
38 [DIRECTOR ATTENDING] It would be unfair to documentaries to lump Comic-Con Episode IV: A Fan’s Hope with them. It’s a promotional film. And it tries, desperately, to convince people that their life will change if only they would go to Comic-Con. It’s a bad promotion too, because in the examples given, no one really does have that promised altering experience. Morgan Spurlock (Super Size Me) uses a conventional documentary template—vaguely interesting everyday people/exceptional circumstance— for the heart of A Fan’s Hope. Their drama, supported by appearances by nerd-lebrity guests such as Kevin Smith, Frank Miller and Seth Green, attempts to offer a compelling look at the 2010 Comic-Con International convention. But is it really compelling to watch a grown man fight a crowd to buy a toy? Or to see a bartender with no real artistic talent turned down by Dark Horse editors? No. It’s not even pathetic, it’s just kind of annoying, and reinforces the desire to tell these people to get a life. Worst of all the nerds, though, is Spurlock himself. He never emerges from behind the camera, but it’s clear he feels really important being there. You can almost hear the genesis of the movie in every shot: “If I make a movie about ComicCon, I can meet my idols and be on a panel at Comic-Con!” It probably worked, but it’s uncomfortably masturbatory, and uninteresting to watch. PATRICIA SAUTHOFF. Hollywood Theatre. Morgan Spurlock will attend the screening at 7:15 pm Saturday, April 7.
Dr. Seuss’ the Lorax
61 It’s a classic children’s tale: Boy
living in a desolate, foliage-free world searches far and wide for a seedling to bring life back to the planet and a girl into his life. When
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Chico & Rita
72 We’ve all been taken by a pretty smile once or twice. Chico & Rita, the animated Spanish language romance/jazz flick that lost out to Rango at this year’s Oscars, isn’t the deepest movie around—but it sure is damned seductive. Set primarily in a gorgeously illustrated Havana, Cuba (think of the Beatles’ Yellow Submarine crossed with comic artist Ben Katchtor’s scrawled New York cityscapes), the movie tells a pretty archetypal boy-meets/loses/ stalks-girl storyline via flashbacks and chase scenes. And while there’s an ambiguity to the relationship between the titular musicians that’s refreshing for cartoons—it’s also one of the few non-Bashki animated features to feature tits, weed, jazz, giant cars and lots of cursing—Chico & Rita hurries audiences through what could be great teaching moments in bullet-point fashion. Thin on dialogue but rich with great Cuban and American jazz, Chico & Rita is largely spectacle. But where its characters seem a little flat and incomplete (Chico’s trusted friend and manager Ramón being an exception), the cities around them are alive and breathtaking. I’ll take that over Rango (or Avatar, for that matter) any day. CASEY JARMAN. Fox Tower.
®
BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM
G E R H A R D - R I C H T E R - PA I N T I N G . D E
a Mexican ranching heir alongside Gael Garcia Bernal and Diego Luna, the film is like an extended crank call from Mexico, so elaborately planned that you can’t bring yourself to hang up. Once you’re hip to the gag, it’s transfixing but often boring—except when it gives voice to anti-American sentiments, which are vituperative and fiercely funny. When Ferrell’s brother Luna brings shame upon their family by becoming a narcotrafficante, the heroic objection is that it’s strategically foolish, not that it’s wrong to supply cocaine to the gringos. “We will kill each other feeding the shit-eating crazy monster babies,” Ferrell warns. Yes, we are the shit-eating crazy monster babies. Fair enough: Let’s eat some shit. R. AARON MESH. Clackamas, Bridgeport.
ACADEMY AWARD NOMINEE
Aurelio GERHARD RICHTER PAINTING that movie was WALL-E, it kicked ass. When it’s The Lorax, not so much. Here’s the thing: Dr. Seuss’ tale of a doomsaying critter called the Lorax doesn’t have a love story. It’s just a quick, rhyming tale of some forest creatures whose home is destroyed by an outsider with an ax and an idea. The Hollywood version tosses in lame backstory about people, and The Lorax is no longer about the environment. That point is made even clearer by the real-world advertising campaign that finds the Lorax shilling for Mazda. PG. PATRICIA SAUTHOFF. Lloyd Center, 99 West Drive-In, Cedar Hills, Clackamas, Eastport, Cornelius, Oak Grove, Bridgeport, City Center, Evergreen, Hilltop, Lloyd Mall, Sherwood, Tigard, Wilsonville, Sandy. NEW
Footnote
80 The academic-jealousy comedy
is such a rare and delightful sighting (the last good one I can remember is Wonder Boys) that it magnifies the minor pleasures of this filial scuffle between Talmud scholars. (The dueling Shkolniks are basically the Archie and Peyton Manning of Jewish studies, if Archie kept running back on the field during Colts games.) Joseph Cedar’s direction has the fluid ridicule of a Payne or Coen: The brothers would especially relish a scene of rabbinical sages packed into a filing room like it’s a clown car. The study in tiptoeing past obvious facts builds to two confrontations with a heavy named Grossman, a department chair with a forehead like a basket of pugs. It stops about 20 minutes too soon, as if Cedar had forgotten to write a third act. The anticlimax here rivals that of the Torah, but everything that comes before is the stuff of legend. PG. AARON MESH. Fox Tower.
Friends With Kids
53 A thirtysomething take on the fuck-buddy comedy, Friends With Kids fancies itself more adult than those two other movies from last year about boffing BFFs, in which Justin Kutcherlake and Natalie Kunisman foolishly sought unencumbered sexual satisfaction in the loins of their hot-bodied besties. In this film, the characters are driven by an even more naïve and selfish impulse: to make a baby with no strings attached. Adam Scott and writerdirector Jennifer Westfeldt are old college pals who, for motivations never adequately justified, agree to have a child together and raise it as platonic parents. No one can escape from underneath the film’s contrived sitcom premise, particularly Westfeldt herself: It’s just hard to get behind someone who’d voluntarily reduce parenthood to the level of ex-roommates sharing custody of an Xbox. R. MATTHEW SINGER. Fox Tower.
NEW
Gerhard Richter Painting
76 [TWO NIGHTS ONLY] Corinna Belz’s documentary of iconoclastic painter Richter doesn’t dwell much on the back story and the “capitalist realism” that made him famous—he’s famous enough, we suppose—but
Emmett
rather submerges us into the dayto-day of Richter’s studio life and Confirmation #: into the creation of the massive expressionist paintings he’s devoted much of his late career to. As such, it’s somewhat formless and opportunistic in its subject matter but also an important document of Richter’s working process, baroquely wellappointed studio, self-doubt, charm and barely concealed prickliness. MATTHEW KORFHAGE. NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium. 7 pm Friday and 4:30 and 7 pm Saturday, April 6-7.
The Hunger Games
84 A few assurances for anxious Hunger Games book fans: Actress Jennifer Lawrence doesn’t ruin bowwielding heroine Katniss. Death still comes by genetically engineered dog, spear and swarm of hallucination-inducing bees. There is no way in hell anybody will mistake your beloved young-adult “girl battles dystopian regime” series for Twilight. In fact, director Gary Ross’ movie version of The Hunger Games is more than a big-screen cash grab. It’s a tense drama with bursts of raw emotion and unsettling (if mostly unseen) violence. In other words: It’s a good movie all by itself. In an era where YA books are often boiled down beyond recognition for film treatment, The Hunger Games is a vivid KO that stays mostly true to great source material. It’s like The Running Man…but with high-schoolers killing each other with bricks and swords in the woods. Although the film hinges on Katniss, Games’ secret weapon is its costume and makeup team. Taking a cue from to the book’s use of fashion as shorthand for greed and social decay, the film doesn’t waste time explaining economic schisms. A glance at District 12’s ragged calico frocks and the Capitol nincompoops’ lollipophued coifs and elaborately carved facial hair says it all. Never before has the color hot pink been used to convey such epic douchebaggery. KELLY CLARKE. Lloyd Center, Cedar Hills, Clackamas, Eastport, CineMagic, Cinetopia Mill Plain, Cornelius, Lake Twin, Moreland, Oak Grove, Pioneer Place, Bridgeport, City Center, Evergreen, Hilltop, Lloyd Mall, Sherwood, Tigard, Wilsonville, Sandy, Roseway, St. Johns Twin Cinema-Pub.
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Hell and Back Again by Danfung Dennis Oscar Nominated
What does it mean to come home from war and build a life anew? Film@6:00 PM followed by panel and Q&A
University of Oregon in Portland, 70 NW Couch Street turnbullcenter.uoregon.edu
INVITES YOU AND A GUEST TO AN ADVANCE SCREENING OF
Jeff, Who Lives at Home
77 The title tells you a lot about
what sort of movie this might be: downtrodden, acerbic, commuting between office parks and Mom’s basement. And for the first 45 minutes, it confirms those suspicions in spades. Jason Segel plays Jeff, Baton Rouge bong aficionado and holy fool. It often seems like he’s using acting tips garnered from one of the more slack-jawed, tattered Muppets. Ed Helms, as his goateed brother Pat, is merely doing a Danny McBride imitation. They are paired on an adventure—well, Jeff sees it as an adventure; Pat sees it as an aggravation and then a crisis—because Jeff answers what he
CONT. on page 46
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contends is a cosmically significant wrong-number call for somebody called Kevin, while Pat has sussed that his wife (the perpetually underused Judy Greer) is cheating on him. Then the movie makes an unlikely pirouette, and becomes something bewitching and lovely. R. AARON MESH. City Center, Fox Tower.
Jiro Dreams of Sushi
FILM CRITIC’S PICK
TILDA SWINTON
APRIL 4-10
80 Nothing moves quickly in the
EZRA MILLER
world of Jiro Ono. Considered by many to be the best sushi chef in the world, Jiro has been practicing his art for 75 years. At age 85, he still works every day, tirelessly and meticulously, in his tiny 10-seat restaurant in a Tokyo subway station. His apprentices work 10 years before they’re allowed to cook an egg. They spend 40 minutes every day massaging octopus tentacles. His eldest son, aged 50, works obediently under his father’s exacting command until the day he may inherit the business. Jiro’s customers book months in advance and pay upward of $350 for his set 20-piece sushi meals; each item—a morsel of rice, a sliver of fish—is constructed tenderly with a few swift hand movements and a brush of soy sauce. Many admit to being scared to eat under his unwaveringly stern gaze. “I feel ecstatic all day,” he says, without breaking a smile. Like the sushi master himself, the documentary Jiro Dreams of Sushi moves a bit ponderously and occasionally repetitively. But as Jiro would be the first to tell you, patience and perseverance will pay off in the end. PG. RUTH BROWN. Hollywood Theatre, Living Room Theaters.
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butcher looking for love, self-esteem and a good cut of veal. NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium. 7:30 pm Thursday, April 5. Free.
Mirror Mirror
27 Another in a tedious line of recent fairytale adaptations, Mirror Mirror is a picture-book retelling of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs with impressive costumes and scenery and little else. The Evil Queen, played by a bitchy, almostlikable Julia Roberts, casts her stepdaughter out into the dark woods so she can remain the fairest cougar in the kingdom. Snow White, a vapid Lily Collins, pouts her way into the home of seven thieving dwarfs, rebranded with nicknames like Butcher and Napoleon. They teach her how to fight (via montage) and win back her father’s kingdom. Naturally there is also a handsome prince at stake—Armie Hammer portraying a smile with hair—and Snow White’s final reward is marrying this man who earlier in the film spanks her with a sword. By the time the credits roll (accompanied
#4
by an inexplicable Bollywood-style music video), you’ll wish someone had offered you some poisoned fruit. PG. PENELOPE BASS. Cedar Hills, Clackamas, Eastport, Cornelius, Lake Twin, Oak Grove, Pioneer Place, Bridgeport, City Center, Evergreen, Hilltop, Lloyd Mall, Sherwood, Tigard, Wilsonville, Sandy. NEW
Natural Selection
Rachael Harris goes on a road trip with the thug that came from her husband’s sperm donation. R. Living Room Theaters. NEW
PDXMV
[ONE NIGHT ONLY] Local music videos. Hollywood Theatre. 7:30 pm Monday, April 9.
People v. the State of Illusion
[DIRECTOR ATTENDING] A documentary about the subjective nature of reality, and a man imprisoned for manslaughter. Lloyd Center.
Pina 3D
95 Up to now, 3-D in film has been
an enterprise largely extraneous to
REVIEW THE CINEMA GUILD
W I N N E R MOVIES
John Carter 3D
85 John Carter is a box-office
debacle. Pixar wunderkind Andrew Stanton decided to leap from WALLE into live-action filmmaking by adapting a series of penny dreadfuls penned in 1917 by the guy who invented Tarzan. The movie went through sweeping reshoots because the first cut didn’t make any sense, the budget surpassed $300 million, and the title was trimmed so women would want to see it. Women still don’t want to see it. John Carter is played by Taylor Kitsch (he was Tim Riggins on Friday Night Lights), and he often looks, to put it politely, confused about what actors do. The movie lurches wildly between moods, and the plot is nearly impossible to follow. None of these things matter. John Carter has tectonic flaws, but it’s fearless and exhilaratingly outlandish, the first hint that the CGI era can do something radically different than add bigger bubbles to soap operas. At its worst, it’s grin-inducingly idiosyncratic scifi—I haven’t seen this kind of blithe world-building since 2004’s The Chronicles of Riddick. At its best, it’s what people wanted from the Star Wars prequels. PG-13. AARON MESH. Clackamas, 99 Indoor Twin, Cedar Hills, Living Room Theaters, Eastport, Forest, Oak Grove, Lloyd Mall, Sherwood, Tigard.
The Kid With a Bike
74 Another slice of lower-class life
P
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from Belgium’s Dardenne brothers, The Kid with a Bike focuses on Cyril (Thomas Doret), an 11-year-old whose future abandonment issues we witness being seared into him. Disregarded by every male figure in his life—his father, his foster mother’s boyfriend, the slick-haired street tough who recruits him for a robbery—he is left to survive alone in a boys’ school until literally falling into the arms of a local hairdresser. International cineastes already know of the Dardennes’ warm, realist touch, but the revelation here is Doret. He plays Cyril as a bomb not waiting to explode but silently begging to be defused. MATTHEW SINGER. Living Room Theaters. NEW
Marty
75 [ONE NIGHT ONLY, ACTOR
ATTENDING] Ernest Borgnine—yes, the Ernest Borgnine—will attend a screening of the 1955 Best Picture winner where he plays a melancholy
THERE’S A KILLER ON THE ROAD: Firat Tanis (right) as the suspect.
ONCE UPON A TIME IN ANATOLIA The good, the bad and the shallow grave.
As the title hints, it’s a kind of Western: A small-town posse (police chief, prosecutor, stenographer and coroner) drives by night through the Turkish steppe, trying to illuminate the shallow grave where a confessed murderer dropped his victim. But the killer was drunk, and is now confused. The night is pitch black, and every tilled field is the same brown. The lawmen cajole and bully their suspect while sharing cigarettes, snacks and stories with each other. They are, in several senses, lost. And the misgiving that slowly dawns with bleak light over Once Upon a Time in Anatolia is whether they can bear all the evidence they find. It is the monumental movie of 2012: If there’s any justice, this is the picture plucked from the Portland International Film Festival that will leave audiences awed and arguing. That debate should include what it means to draw from Western tropes for a presentday police movie. What lawlessness and isolation is eternal? The Cannes-laureled director Nuri Bilge Ceylan zooms toward his actors’ weathered, warped faces for Leone-iconic close-ups—these abstracted monologues seem to take place in a reality just outside the rest of the plot—but the procedural feels like it peeled the violence away from Sam Peckinpah’s canon, leaving the big, self-bruising men to wander in the dust. The showdowns are all internal. Mostly the men are forced to admit how alone they are. There’s a holy moment at the film’s center where all their regret and longing is revealed: In a blackout, somewhere in the sticks, a gorgeous girl brings tea by candlelight, and each man’s face is alight with awe. Even the dead man’s ghost settles in for the communion. That illusion of togetherness is so painful because it is so fleeting. At the other end of the movie (in unforgiving daylight) is an autopsy, methodical and slushy, where the doctor (Muhammet Uzuner) is literally stained by what he learns. I won’t talk about what he sees. He certainly can’t. The movie has already demonstrated that some truths are too cruel to share. They should be left buried. AARON MESH.
95 SEE IT: Once Upon a Time in Anatolia screens at 6:45 pm Friday-Wednesday, April 6-11, at the Hollywood Theatre.
APRIL 4-10
MOVIES
NOW PLAYING STARTS FRIDAY REGAL LLOYD CENTER 10 CINEMA 1510 NE Multnomah St, Portland (800) FANDANGO #325
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Project X
43 Aimed squarely at horny highschoolers and the dudes they will inevitably become (that is, grownass men who drink Bud, jerk off to Maxim and brag about all the pussy they pulled in high school), Project X shoots for party-movie immortality by depicting a bash that mutates from small gathering to full-scale riot. R. AP KRYZA. Oak Grove.
The Raid: Redemption
Count The Raid: Redemption as Indonesia cinema’s first big KO. It’ll be all action and martial-arts movie fans talk about this year. Iko Uwais plays Rama, a rookie on an elite special forces team charged with taking out the city’s nastiest crime boss from his 15th-floor lair at the top of a derelict apartment building. That plan doesn’t go so well, and the team finds itself trapped inside a high-rise full of criminals, drug addicts and nonspecific bad guys armed to the teeth with giant knives. That’s about it: Rama and what’s left of his unit (mostly an assortment of appendages splattered against the stairwell) must fight their way out, floor by floor, apartment full of ruthless killers by apartment full of ruthless killers. So it basically plays out like a video game—Donkey Kong with more violence or Wolfenstein 3D with less robot Hitler. It’s avertyour-eyes violent and surprisingly nerve-wracking for at least 30 minutes, until it’s clear how it will all end and you become acclimatized to seeing men impaled on sharp, pointy objects. Then it’s just brutal, messy fun. R. RUTH BROWN. Cinema 21.
Safe House
39 Denzel Washington’s performance as rogue CIA agent Tobin Frost—he knows things people don’t want him to know, and he’s got the ridiculous name to prove it—is the film’s only semiprecious asset. R. CHRIS STAMM. City Center, Evergreen, Lloyd Mall.
Salmon Fishing in the Yemen
37 What an extravagantly unnatural project this is! Not the billionaire sheik building a series of dams in the desert of the Arabian Peninsula to create a salmon run that might stimulate ecological and economic growth. That’s the part of Salmon Fishing in the Yemen that makes the most sense. No, what’s really unsupportable is how Lasse Hallstrom’s movie tries to blend political satire with globe-hopping adventure, and cosmopolitan relationships with soft spiritualism. That’s how we wind up with a romantic comedy in which the sophisticated banter is paused so Ewan McGregor can save the sheik from an assassination attempt, by using his fishing rod like a bullwhip to knock a gun from a terrorist’s hand. Accordingly, McGregor’s character is named “Dr. Jones.” He’s addressed by that title for most of the movie, and calls Emily Blunt’s wry consultant “Ms. ChetwodeTalbot” for months after they’ve been working together—formality that can only be explained as extreme passive-aggressive hatred or a Jane Austen fetishist’s form of flirtation. A dead soldier is brought back to life so Blunt can face a notall-that-agonizing decision of the heart, and the love triangle is just like the one in Casablanca, but the
A Compelling and Inspiring Film About The Power of Imagination
SONY PICTURES CLASSICS
the character of film itself: moviedom’s version of the 10,000 lovefattened cherubs overwhelming the interior of a baroque church. German auteur Wim Wenders’ Pina—an elegiac documentary about the work of late, iconoclastic choreographer Pina Bausch—is something else altogether, a brokenhearted Billie Holiday to the 3-D form’s usual emptily virtuosic Ella Fitzgerald. Wenders’ film about his longtime friend was begun before her death and so was not originally meant as an elegy, but in retrospect the film has now become much the same thing: a wake that succeeds in bringing the dead around for one last dance. PG. MATTHEW KORFHAGE. Living Room Theaters.
HELD OVER FOR A 2ND WEEK!
FOOTNOTE exact opposite. The problems of three little people add up to a pile of dead salmon. PG-13. AARON MESH. Clackamas, Bridgeport, City Center, Fox Tower.
The Secret World of Arrietty
A boy befriends a tiny fairy in this anime from Hiromasa Yonebayashi. Not screened for Portland critics. G. Living Room Theaters, Tigard.
A Separation
90 Thanks in no small part to Jafar
Panahi, Iranian cinema keeps its ear to the ground, preferring close observation of unfairness to broad political fusillade. With Panahi a political prisoner, that mantle falls to Asghar Farhadi. This sounds like a downer, as does the plot: A marriage is all over but the shouting, and there’s a lot of shouting. But the movie is riveting, even exhilarating. Farhadi tracks the fallout between Simin and Nader (Leila Hatami and Peyman Moadi) as it extends to the pregnant caretaker (Sareh Bayat) whom Nader distractedly hires for his Alzheimer’s-stricken father. The film watches each character’s mixed motivations as if preparing a legal brief. Indeed, all the players are soon arguing to a beleaguered magistrate who longs for his teatime. PG-13. AARON MESH. Fox Tower.
Undefeated
85 Maybe it seems lazy referring to
a documentary about a high school football team as “the real-life Friday Night Lights,” but in the case of Oscar winner Undefeated, it’d be almost irresponsible not to make the comparison. The Manassas Tigers bear more than a passing resemblance to the East Dillon Lions: Located in economically ravaged North Memphis, Tenn., the all-black team is so underfunded it’s forced to accept money from other schools in the state to act as human blocking dummies in scrimmage games. Things began to turn around six years ago with the arrival of volunteer head coach Bill Courtney. Essentially Eric Taylor in Buddy Garrity’s body, he spouts Southernfried proverbs like “Football doesn’t build character, it reveals it,” and assumes the role of a surrogate father for kids with no other male figures in their lives. As he enters what’s probably his last season with the team, his goal isn’t a state championship: It’s to coach the Tigers to their first playoff victory in the school’s 110-year history. Shot véritéstyle by directors Daniel Lindsay and TJ Martin, the film unfolds in such a way that, if it were fiction, it would probably be dismissed as a clichéd sports movie—at least, until the end, which reminds us that reality isn’t a Disney production. PG-13. MATTHEW SINGER. Fox Tower.
Wanderlust
74 David Wain’s absurdist litany is
in fine effect in Wanderlust, a surprisingly frisky winter diversion that reunites most of the Wet Hot American Summer cast for another campout—this time at a hippie commune outside Atlanta. Leftist pieties get an affectionate skewer-
ing, but then every form of moral Aurelio posturing does. R. AARON MESH. Lloyd Mall.
We Need to Talk About Kevin
Emmett
Artist: Heather Jay
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“RUN IMMEDIATELY TO SEE ‘THE RAID!’”
27 Ten years after directing the
Deadline: Confirmation lovely Morvern Callar, Lynne Ramsay #: returns to her calling with a film so miserably ill-conceived and clumsy -Steve Prokopy, Prokopy, AIN’T AIN’T IT IT COOL COOL NEWS NEWS -Steve that it wobbles right past awful to collapse in the far sadder territory of the pitiable. We Need to Talk About Kevin dances back and forth in time with the stricken figure of Eva Khatchadourian (Tilda Swinton). FOLLOW US ON LIKE US ON Her son’s terrible crime strands her in the physical present with a WRITTEN AND DIRECTED BY GARETH EVANS @TheRaidUS community that reviles her while www.facebook.com /TheRaidUS sending her mind casting backwards WWW.SONYCLASSICS.COM to retrieve evidence and explanations from the years leading up to Kevin’s awful spree. Ramsay’s knack NOW PLAYING STARTS FRIDAY On for trapping moments of fleeting CINEMA 21 THEATRE REGAL LLOYD CENTER 10 CINEMA beauty and terror makes for a promVisit iTunes.com/SPC for a look at 616 NW 21ST Ave, Portland 1510 NE Multnomah Street, Portland The Raid: Redemption and other SPC films ising first 15 minutes, as a dense (503) 223-4515 (800) FANDANGO #325 collage of image and sound initiates VIEW THE TRAILER AT WWW.THERAIDMOVIE.COM us into Eva’s post-traumatic stress. But when the film coheres into a 3.825” X 3.5" WED 4/4 more legible narrative, Ramsay PORTLAND WILLAMETTE WEEK loses control and We Need to Talk About Kevin gets worse with each passing minute. The deranged kid AE: (circle one:) Artist: (circle one:) of the title comes into crisp focus as a sadistic horror-film villain, with Angela Maria Josh Aurelio Heather Staci Freelance 2 Ramsay exaggerating every loathsome aspect of the character while Tim McCool simultaneously refusing to give into Emmett Jay Steve Freelance 3 her material’s generic pleasures. The result is a B-movie mess that Deadline: Confirmation #: neglects filthy fun to pursue halfbaked importance. Rent Orphan instead. CHRIS STAMM. Fox Tower.
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Wrath of the Titans
42 In Greek mythology, the god Kronos feared being usurped by his children, so he ate them. That scene, which would probably make Bully pale in comparison, is missing from the CGI-heavy sequel to Clash of the Titans, but it’s still a fitting analogy for how special effects have swallowed such action movies. This one’s no slouch in the rocks-hurtling-atthe-screen department, but its bigname Brits (Liam Neeson, Ralph Fiennes) are confined to sound stages to throw lightning at each other. (Titans, it seems, behave suspiciously like wizards.) The indifferent plot—Grandpapa was a volcanic stone—is recouped by some evocative imagery: Kronos recalls Chernabog from Disney’s “Night on Bald Mountain” sequence in Fantasia, flinging lava in swaths like an infernal Jackson Pollock. But the movie gets its only human life from Bill Nighy, who sports a Babylonian soothsayer’s beard and mutters half-heard mermaid-seduction techniques. He’s killed off pretty quick. PG-13. AARON MESH. Lloyd Center, Cedar Hills, Clackamas, Eastport, Cinetopia Mill Plain, Cornelius, Oak Grove, Pioneer Place, Bridgeport, City Center, Evergreen, Hilltop, Sherwood, Tigard, Wilsonville, Sandy.
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MAGNUM FARCE: Acolytes in the Church of Eastwood will tell you that Sudden Impact is not just the Dirty Harry movie that coined “Go ahead, make my day” for Reagan: No, it’s also the one Clint directed, and therefore has greater moral shading and ambiguity toward violence. We skeptics will note it also has a farting bulldog, villains who pop up randomly to serve as a shooting gallery, and Harry Callahan commandeering a nursing-home van to chase a bank robber. It’s ’80s excess turned surrealist, almost a protoBlue Velvet in its belief that under the boardwalk of American life, gangs of crazed, lesbian-led rapists wait to strike. AARON MESH. Showing at: Beer and Movie at Laurelhurst. Best paired with: Lucky Lab Super Dog IPA. Also showing: The Iron Lady (Academy, Laurelhurst).
807 Lloyd Center 10 and IMAX
Q&A with LOCK SPUR MORGAN @ 7:15pm 7 / 4 Sat. ovie.com ComicConM
1510 NE Multnomah Blvd., 800-326-3264 AMERICAN REUNION FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:15, 01:00, 03:00, 03:55, 06:30, 07:00, 09:25, 09:55 TITANIC: AN IMAX 3D EXPERIENCE Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:00, 04:15, 08:30 TITANIC 3D Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:45, 05:05, 09:15 THE RAID: REDEMPTION FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:30, 03:35, 06:50, 10:05 WRATH OF THE TITANS 3D Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:20, 02:50, 05:20, 07:50, 10:25 THE HUNGER GAMES Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:40, 01:30, 03:50, 04:50, 07:10, 08:10, 10:20 21 JUMP STREET Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 12:55, 03:40, 07:30, 10:10 DR. SEUSS’ THE LORAX 3D Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:05, 07:20 DR. SEUSS’ THE LORAX Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 02:30, 04:55, 09:40
Regal Lloyd Mall 8 Cinema
THEATRE STARTS FRIDAY HOLLYWOOD 4122 NE SANDY BOULEVARD, PORTLAND 503-281-4215 • WWW.HOLLYWOODTHEATRE.ORG APRIL 6 WILLAMETTE WEEKLY - 4/5 - 3.772x7
48
Willamette Week APRIL 4, 2012 wweek.com
2320 Lloyd Center Mall, 800-326-3264 WRATH OF THE TITANS Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 12:10, 02:55, 06:10, 09:10 MIRROR MIRROR Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:00, 12:30, 03:00, 03:30, 06:00, 06:35, 08:55, 09:20 PEOPLE VS. THE STATE OF ILLUSION Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:25, 03:25, 06:30, 08:45 THE HUNGER GAMES Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:05, 03:05, 06:05, 09:05 JOHN CARTER Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 11:55 JOHN CARTER 3D Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 03:10 DR. SEUSS’ THE LORAX 3D Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 03:20, 06:25 DR. SEUSS’ THE LORAX Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 12:20, 08:50 WANDERLUST Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 03:15 SAFE HOUSE Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 12:15, 06:20,
09:00
Clinton Street Theater
2522 SE Clinton St., 503-238-8899 ALL IN: THE POKER MOVIE Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 07:00, 09:00 REPO! THE GENETIC OPERA Fri 11:30 THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW Sat 12:00
Lake Twin Cinema
106 N State St., 503-635-5956 THE HUNGER GAMES FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 04:00, 07:00 MIRROR MIRROR Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 05:15, 07:30
Roseway Theatre
7229 NE Sandy Blvd., 503-282-2898 THE HUNGER GAMES FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 01:00, 04:30, 08:00
St. Johns Twin Cinemas and Pub
8704 N Lombard St., 503-286-1768 THE HUNGER GAMES FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 05:15, 08:30 21 JUMP STREET Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 04:45, 07:15, 09:40
CineMagic Theatre
2021 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 503-231-7919 THE HUNGER GAMES FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 05:30, 08:25
Forest Theatre
1911 Pacific Ave., 503-844-8732 JOHN CARTER Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 07:00, 09:40
Hollywood Theatre
4122 NE Sandy Blvd., 503281-4215 COMIC-CON EPISODE IV: A FAN’S HOPE Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 07:15 ONCE UPON A TIME IN ANATOLIA Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 06:45 JIRO DREAMS OF SUSHI Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 09:30 THE ARTIST Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-
Tue-Wed 09:40 HIGH SCHOOL FILM AND VIDEO FESTIVAL Fri-Sat 07:00 MAD MEN Sun 10:00 PDXMV Mon 07:30 TWIN PEAKS Wed 09:30 HOT COFFEE
Regal Fox Tower Stadium 10
846 SW Park Ave., 800-326-3264 FOOTNOTE Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 12:00, 02:20, 04:45, 07:05, 09:30 SALMON FISHING IN THE YEMEN Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:10, 02:40, 05:15, 07:40, 10:00 CHICO & RITA Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:35, 03:00, 05:25, 07:45, 09:55 UNDEFEATED Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:05, 02:35, 05:05, 07:35, 10:05 BEING FLYNN Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 12:25, 02:55, 05:20, 07:50, 10:10 JEFF, WHO LIVES AT HOME FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:40, 02:45, 04:50, 07:00, 09:40 FRIENDS WITH KIDS Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:30, 02:50, 05:10, 07:30, 09:50 A SEPARATION Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:20, 03:05, 07:10, 09:45 WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT KEVIN Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 12:00, 02:30, 04:55, 07:20, 10:00 THE ARTIST Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 12:15, 02:25, 05:00, 07:25, 09:35
NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium 1219 SW Park Ave., 503-221-1156 GERHARD RICHTER PAINTING Fri-Sat 04:30, 07:00 WHAT’S WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE Sun 04:30
Pioneer Place Stadium 6
340 SW Morrison St., 800326-3264 TITANIC 3D Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 01:00, 05:30, 09:45 AMERICAN REUNION Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 01:40, 04:40, 07:45, 10:30 WRATH OF THE TITANS 3D FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 01:30, 04:30, 07:10, 10:10 MIRROR MIRROR Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 01:20, 04:20, 07:15, 09:50 THE HUNGER GAMES Fri-Sat-
3200 SW Hocken Ave., 800-326-3264 JOURNEY 2: THE MYSTERIOUS ISLAND FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue 11:40 THE HUNGER GAMES FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue 11:00, 11:50, 12:40, 01:30, 02:20, 03:10, 04:00, 04:50, 05:40, 06:30, 07:10, 08:00, 09:00, 09:50, 10:20 DR. SEUSS’ THE LORAX Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue 01:15, 05:45, 10:15 DR. SEUSS’ THE LORAX 3D Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 11:00, 03:30, 08:00 JOHN CARTER Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue 12:30, 07:30 21 JUMP STREET Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue 11:00, 01:40, 03:30, 04:20, 07:00, 09:40, 10:30 MIRROR MIRROR Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 11:00, 12:20, 01:40, 03:00, 04:20, 05:40, 07:00, 08:20, 09:40 WRATH OF THE TITANS Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 11:00, 01:25, 03:50, 06:15, 08:45 WRATH OF THE TITANS 3D Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 12:30, 02:10, 03:00, 04:40, 05:30, 07:10, 08:00, 09:40, 10:30 TITANIC 3D Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:00, 03:10, 07:20 AMERICAN REUNION Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue 11:45, 01:05, 02:25, 03:45, 05:05, 06:30, 07:45, 09:05, 10:25 THE METROPOLITAN OPERA: MANON - LIVE Sat 09:00
Valley Theater
9360 SW BeavertonHillsdale Highway, 503-2966843 THE ADVENTURES OF TINTIN Fri 03:25 THE DESCENDANTS Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 05:40, 08:00 CHRONICLE FriSat-Wed 06:05 THE VOW Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 08:00 THE IRON LADY FriSat-Wed 06:30 TINKER TAILOR SOLDIER SPY Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 08:45
Living Room Theaters
341 SW 10th Ave., 971-2222010 NATURAL SELECTION Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 12:10, 02:20, 05:00, 07:30, 09:30 CIRQUE DU SOLEIL: JOURNEY OF MAN Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 09:10 JOHN CARTER 3D Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:50, 01:40, 09:50 DR. SEUSS’ THE LORAX 3D Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:40, 04:50 THE KID WITH A BIKE Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 12:30, 02:30, 04:40, 07:45, 09:40 JIRO DREAMS OF SUSHI Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:20, 03:00, 05:10, 08:00, 09:55 THE SECRET WORLD OF ARRIETTY Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 02:40, 07:00 PINA 3D Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 02:00, 04:20, 06:45, 09:00 HUGO 3D Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:30, 04:30, 07:15 SUBJECT TO CHANGE. CALL THEATERS OR VISIT WWEEK.COM/MOVIETIMES FOR THE MOST UP-TODATE INFORMATION FRIDAY-THURSDAY, APRIL 16-12, UNLESS OTHERWISE INDICATED
K C O R G N I B s d i k r CLcIaM o f mps
June 18-Aug 30 *No camp the week of July 4th
Bring this ad in to get $30 off one summer camp!
To advertise your Summer Camp with Willamette Week:
Trac� Betts 503-445-2757 • tbetts@wweek.com Ashlee horton 503-445-3647 • ahorton@wweek.com BALLET
N W DANCE
CONTEMPORARY MUSICAL THEATER
PROJECT
CREATIVE MOVEMENT
ARTISTIC DIRECTOR
SA R A H S L IPP E R
CHOREOGRAPHY HIP HOP JAZZ
Learn To Sail
at the Willamette Sailing Club
Ages 5-7, 8-12, 13-18, & Adult Classes Beginner to Advanced River Adventure & Racing Camps
www.WillametteSailingClub.com
JULY 23 - AUG 10
Ages 5 to 15
Early registration recommended nwdanceproject.org info@nwdanceproject.org 503.421.7434 Northwest Dance Project Studio + Performance Center “Portland’s most beautiful dance studio” 833 N Shaver Street (at Mississippi Ave.)
Northwest Dance Project is a registered 501(c)(3) not-for-profit organization
show:tell
Teen Writers & Artists
WORKSHOP One-week session July 16-20 $375
Two-week session July 16-27 $650
Ekone Ranch
Located on Marylhurst University’s historic campus, the workshop provides high school students (ages 14-18) with college-level instruction in creative writing and contemporary arts.
Horseback Riding
Students take introductory and advanced seminars in prose and poetry along with workshops in photography, film, collaborative performance and sound work. Seminar-style classes are taught by working, professional visual artists and writers of short stories, poetry fiction and nonfiction.
Connecting Kids with Nature Since 1986
& Wilderness Camps Swimming • Hiking Stargazing • Crafts Life on a working ranch Open House May 19th!
www.ocac.edu/register Children of all ages and skill levels bring their imaginations to life in our Summer Day Camps Young Adult Classes Pre-College Workshops
Deadline for Registration: July 5 Contact: Jay Ponteri, jponteri@marylhurst.edu • 503.636.8141, ext.4420
show:tell www.marylhurst.edu/teenwriters
17600 Pacific Highway (Hwy. 43) ~ 1 mile south of Lake Oswego
3295842V01
The Workshop for Teen Writers and Artists
OREGON COLLEGE OF ART AND CRAFT Goldendale, WA (509) 773-6800 www.ekone.org
A creative community in Portland offering undergraduate, graduate and continuing education programs for adults and children of all ages
8245 SW Barnes Road | Portland OR | 503.297.5544 WillametteWeek Classifieds APRIL 4, 2012 wweek.com
49
For Students Who
Refuse Boredom Grades
6-12
Registration now open! Upward Bound Camp
St. Mary’s Academy | 1615 S.W. Fih Ave. | Portland, Oregon 97201 | 503.721.7728
For People With Special Needs Providing recreational opportunities for ages 12 - Geriatric, year round since 1978. Hiking, Camping, Fishing, Swimming, Drama, Boating, Nature Study, Arts & Crafts, Optional Bible Study Year Round Employment opportunities Positions available for CNAs, Nurses, Summer Staff, Interns & Lifeguards.
503-897-2447 WWW.UPWARDBOUNDCAMP.ORG UPWARD.BOUND.CAMP@GMAIL.COM ACA Accredited
Take Center Stage! June 18 - 22 • June 25 – 29 Located in the Pearl District!
at Concordia University! (Portland, OR) Acting, Singing & Dancing
in a fun, beautiful setting since 1997 Everybody performs in a play or movie!
www.TheatreCamp.com 800-405-3450
3300445V01
Ages 8-18 • 1, 2, 4& 5 week sessions
Photo by: Tatiana Wills
Columbia Gorge School of Theatre
K iDS
503.229.0627 www.bodyvox.com
DANCE CAMP 2012 artistic directors jamey hampton + ashley roland
20th Year Anniversary
Classes in music, theater, dance and visual arts
on the stages of the Portland Center for Performing Arts for ages 7-12.
July 9-13 & 16-20, Monday-Friday 9am – 4pm
$200 for one week or $310 for 2 weeks if you register by May 18th, 2012
metroartsinc.org • 503-245-4885 50
WillametteWeek Classifieds APRIL 4, 2012 wweek.com
CLASSIFIEDS DIRECTORY 51
WELLNESS
51
JOBS
51
MOTOR
52
52
MUSICIANS’ MARKET
53
MATCHMAKER
ESTATE 54 REAL & GETAWAYS
54
TO PLACE AN AD CONTACT:
TRACY BETTS
503-445-2757 • tbetts@wweek.com
ASHLEE HORTON
WELLNESS BODYWORK MANSCAPING
Bodyhair grooming M4M. Discrete quality service. 503-841-0385 by appointment.
BULLETIN BOARD PETS
APRIL 4, 2012
52
SERVICES
52
STUFF
54
FREE WILL ASTROLOGY
55
JONESIN’
503-445-3647 • ahorton@wweek.com
JOBS GENDER IDENTITY COUNSELING
Organize The 99%
Enjoy all that you are, Be all that you want to be.
Working America / AFL-CIO is hiring field staff to organize for a just economy & the 99%! Working America is an Equal Opportunity Employer Committed to Diversity. Women, LGBT & People of Color Encouraged to Apply. $11.44/Hr + Bens Apply Today: 503.224.1004
503-228-2472
COACHING Totally Relaxing Massage
Featuring Swedish, deep tissue and sports techniques by a male therapist. Conveniently located, affordable, and preferring male clientele at this time. #5968 By appointment Tim 503.575.0356
Life Coaching Janhavi Mercury McKenzie
Help Wanted!!
ACTIVISM
B.J. (Barbara) SEYMOUR
Partner with Success
MOTOR
GENERAL BARTENDING
$$300/day potential. No experience necessary. Training available. 800-965-6520 x206.
REL A X!
coaching@janhavimckenzie.com
541-505-2528
call
lmt#6250
MASSAGE (LICENSED)
D A V I D F LY N N
Work and live in rural Buddhist center, California. Help make Buddhist books to donate in Asia. Includes housing, vegetarian meals, classes on Buddhism, living allowance. Must have sincere Buddhist interest, physical strength. Minimum age 22. For details, application call 510-981-1987 Email contact@nyingma.org
For Brundage Furnitures. Interested persons should send a cover letter with his/her resume available to brundagelarry@yahoo.com
Charles
503-740-5120
EMPLOYMENT OPPORTUNITIES $$$HELP WANTED$$$ Extra Income! Assembling CD cases from Home! No Experience Necessary! Call our Live Operators Now! 1-800-405-7619 EXT 2450 www.easywork-greatpay.com (AAN CAN)
Account/Bookkeeping Rep
INDULGE YOURSELF in an - AWESOME FULL BODY MASSAGE
COUNSELING
Make money Mailing brochures from home! FREE Supplies! Helping Home-Workers since 2001! Genuine Opportunity! No experience required. Start Immediately! www.theworkhub.net (AAN CAN)
CAREER TRAINING www.ExtrasOnly.com 503.227.1098
OLCC Online Alcohol Server Permit Class $15
Massage openings in the Mt. Tabor area. Call Jerry for info. 503-757-7295. LMT6111.
www.embodyfreedom rolfing.com
Gina Marie Purl Certified Advanced Rolfer 541-543-6211 Lic#10112
Integrating Swedish, deep tissue and stretching for a truly great massage experience.
503.775.4755 LMT#11142
Body balancing by use of Massage and Energy Work. Adam Roberts LMT#7811. 503806-6285
Relationships, Life Transitions, Personal Growth
Affordable Rates • No-cost Initial Consult www.stephenshostek.com
BMW Familyautonetwork.com 1990 BMW 535i Very Very Low Miles, Sunroof, Leather, $3695 503-254-2886
HONDA Familyautonetwork.com 2000 Honda S2000 45,045 Miles, Bright Red, Leather, 6 Speed, Great for Summer! $13,500 503-254-2886
NISSAN Familyautonetwork.com 2000 Nissan Altima Only 96,000 Miles, One Owner $5995 503-254-2886
SUBARU Familyautonetwork.com 1997 Subaru Legacy Auto, ONLY 125,000 Miles! $4495 503-254-2886
Bartender Tested ~ OLCC Approved @ www.happyhourtraining.com
Familyautonetwork.com
THERE IS MORE TO SEE ONLINE @ WWEEK.COM
1997 Subaru Legacy 5 speed, Warranty $3995 503-254-2886
McMenamins McMenamins is now hiring part to full time Servers, Line Cooks, Catering Servers, Food Runners, Hosts, and Dishwashers for our Grand Lodge Property in Forest Grove. All applicants must have a flexible schedule including weekends and holidays and no summer vacations. Apply online at www.mcmenamins.com or pick up a paper application at any McMenamin location. Mail to 430 N. Killingsworth, Portland OR, 97217 or fax: 503-221-8749. Please no phone calls or emails!! E.O.E.
TOYOTA Familyautonetwork.com 1993 Toyota Camry 4 cylinder, Auto, Warranty, We have 2 at this price! $3795 503-254-2886
VOLKSWAGEN Familyautonetwork.com 2001 Volkswagon Jetta GLS 2.0, Leather, Sunroof, Low Low Miles, ONLY $5395 503-254-2886
TOYOTA
adaM4Massage.com
Stephen Shostek, CET
CASH FOR CARS: Any Car/Truck. Running or Not! Top Dollar Paid. We Come To You! Call For Instant Offer: 1-888-420-3808 www.cash4car.com (AAN CAN)
Skilled, Male LMT
ROLFING
Counseling Individuals, Couples and Groups
AUTOS WANTED
McMenamins Now hiring PT-FT Servers, Line Cooks, and Dishwashers
at McMenamins Cornelius Pass Roadhouse in Hillsboro. Previous high volume experience preferred. Must have flexible schedule, including days, evenings, weekends, and holidays. Pick up an application at any McMenamins and mail to Attn: HR, 430 N. Killingsworth, Portland, OR 97217 or fax 503-2218749 or apply online at www.mcmenamins.com. Please, no phone calls or emails! E.O.E.
503-963-8600
M O R E C L A S S I F I E D S O N L I N E @ W W E E K .C O M
Familyautonetwork.com 1993 Toyota Xtracab 4x4, SR5, ONLY 140,000 Miles,V-6 Auto, ONE OWNER! $6995 503-254-2886
JEEP Familyautonetwork.com 1999 Jeep Grand Cherokee Inline, 6 cylinder, 4.0, 130,000 Miles $6995 503-254-2886
Familyautonetwork.com 2007 Jeep Grand Cherokee Limited, Trail Rated, Fully Loaded $19,995 503-254-2886
J O N E S I N ’ P. 5 5
WillametteWeek Classifieds APRIL 4, 2012 wweek.com
51
TO PLACE AN AD CONTACT:
BULLETIN BOARD WILLAMETTE WEEK’S GATHERING PLACE NON-PROFIT DISCOUNTS AVAILABLE.
TRACY BETTS
503-445-2757 • tbetts@wweek.com
ASHLEE HORTON
Got Meth Problems? Need Help?
503-445-3647 • ahorton@wweek.com
MUSICIANS MARKET
Oregon CMA 24 hour Hot-line Number: 503-895-1311. We are here to help you! Information, support, safe & confidential!
FOR FREE ADS in 'Musicians Wanted,' 'Musicians Available' & 'Instruments for Sale' go to portland.backpage.com and submit ads online. Ads taken over the phone in these categories cost $5.
HERPES?
ADOPTION ADOPTION:
A Home Filled with Laughter, LOVE, music, caring attorney, family happily await baby. Expenses paid Stacey 1-800-816-8424 PREGNANT? CONSIDERING ADOPTION? Talk with caring agency specializing in matching Birthmothers with Families nationwide. LIVING EXPENSES PAID. Call 24/7 Abby’s One True Gift Adoptions. 866-413-6293 (AAN CAN)
CLASSES
Free support group meets monthly in NW Portland, First Fridays at 7:30pm. 503-727-2640, info: portlandareahelp@aol.com
LOST & FOUND Blue bike found in SE Portland. To claim from police bureau, call Philip at 503 853 4695.
MISCELLANEOUS
SERVICES OPEN HOUSE
Saturday April 28, 2012 1:00pm - 4:00pm Montessori Institute Northwest www.montessori-nw.org 503.963.8992
EVENTS
MILLS HANDYMAN AND REMODELING 503-245-4397. Free Estimate. Affordable, Reliable. Insured/Bonded. CCB#121381
ALTERATIONS/SEWING
Spiderweb Sewing Studio 503.750.6586 custom sewing quilt making leather home decor apparel alterations
spiderwebsewingstudio@gmail.com
BUILDING/REMODELING
GUITAR LESSONS Personalized instruction for over 15yrs. Adults & children. Beginner through advanced. www.danielnoland.com 503-546-3137
Haulers with a Conscience
Free Estimates • Same Day Service • Licensed/Insured • Locally Owned by Women We Recycle
We Reuse
We Donate
Indian Music Classes with Josh Feinberg
LANDSCAPING Bernhard’s Professional MaintenanceComplete yard care, 20 years. 503-515-9803. Licensed and Insured.
TREE SERVICES Pruning and removals, stump grinding. 24-hour emergency service. Licensed/ Insured. CCB#67024. Free estimates. 503-284-2077
BEDTIME
Cash, Check or Credit Cards. Check it out at our warehouse: 3135 NW Industrial St. Portland 97210
Willamette Writers Kay Snow
TWINS
79
$
COMPANY
-Soy and Pillar Candles -Solid and Spray Perfumes -Body Butter and more
CLEANING
GET WELL
Specializing in sitar, but serving all instruments and levels! 917-776-2801 www.joshfeinbergmusic.com Passion for music? GUITAR/ VOICE/ BASS/ KEYBOARD/ THEORY/ SONGWRITING. Beginning and continuing students with performing recording artist, Jill Khovy. 503-833-0469.
RENT YOUR
HOUSE S E RV I C E
FILL A JOB
G E T SO ME
MATTRESS
Spring Sale - 20% off Storewide!
STUFF
THE MASSES
Steve Greenberg Tree Service
FURNITURE OPEN Friday, April 6th from 11am-4pm.
YO U R
BEACH
All unwanted items removed (residential/commercial) One item to complete clear outs
We Care
SELL GO TO THE
503-477-4941 www.anniehaul.com
STUFF Pacifica Warehouse Sale
TRADE UP MUSIC - Buying, selling, instruments of every shape and size. Call 503-236-8800. Open 11am-7pm every day. 4701 SE Division & 1834 NE Alberta. www.tradeupmusic.com
MUSIC LESSONS
HAULING/MOVING
3RD COMMANDMENT BLASPHEMY
You shall NOT take the Name(s) of the Lord Your God in vain! The Lord will not hold him guiltless who mis-uses (abuses) HIS Holy Name(s) (Ex 20:7) chapel@gorge.net
Come see our specially prepared environments for children and meet our current students. Tour our facility and see presentations of Montessori materials at the Assistants to Infancy, Primary and Elementary levels.
INSTRUMENTS FOR SALE
HANDYPERSON
FULL $ 89
QUEEN
(503)
760-1598
109
$
7353 SE 92nd Ave Mon-Fri 9-5, Sat 10-2
JOIN A BAND
SHOUT FROM THE ROOFTOPS
Custom Sizes » Made To Order Financing Available
Writing contest accepts fiction, nonfiction, screenwriting, children/young adult, student. Deadline 4/23. Guidelines, www.willamettewriters.com 503-305-6729, wilwrite@willamettewriters.com
HEALTH
SEEKING ECT SURVIVORS
Potential Class Action Suit. Confidential 503-537-0997. Ok to leave message.
LESSONS
ASTROLOGY >> P. 54
CLASSICAL PIANO/KEYBOARD $15/Hour Theory Performance. All levels. Portland 503-735-5953 and 503-989-5925.
SUPPORT GROUPS ALANON Sunday Rainbow
5:15 PM meeting. G/L/B/T/Q and friends. Downtown Unitarian Universalist Church on 12th above Taylor. 503-309-2739.
52
FREEWILL
WillametteWeek Classifieds APRIL 4, 2012 wweek.com
CLASSIFIEDS 503.445.2757 503.445.3647
TO PLACE AN AD CONTACT:
TRACY BETTS
503-445-2757 • tbetts@wweek.com
ASHLEE HORTON
503-445-3647 • ahorton@wweek.com
DATING SERVICES EroticEncounters.com Where Hot Girls Share their private fantasies! Instant Connections. Fast & Easy. Mutual Satisfaction Guaranteed. Exchange messages, Talk live 24/7, Private 1-on-1. Give in to Temptation, call now 1-888-700-8511
Meet Singles... Make Friends....
CHATLINES ALL MALE HOT GAY HOOKUPS!
IT’S FREE! TRY IT!
Call FREE! 503-416-7104 or 800-777-8000 www.interactivemale.com 18+ MEN SEEKING MEN 1-877-4098884 Gay hot phone chat, 24/7! Talk or meet sexy guys in your area anytime you need it. Fulfill your wildest fantasy. Private & confidential. Guys always available. 1-877-409-8884 Free to try. 18+
make a real connection Call Livelinks. The hottest place to meet the coolest people.
FREE BASIC MEMBERSHIP Try it Free!
503.416.7098 Ahora en Español 18+
www.livelinks.com
•Chat with VIP’s in the LiveLounge •Place a Personals Ad/Get Responses from VIP’s •Respond to VIP’s Ads •Participate in the Forums
UNLIMITED VIP MEMBERSHIP AS LOW AS $1.77/DAY (8 WEEK PACKAGE) • COMPLETE VIP ACCESS TO ALL FEATURES • RESPOND/CHAT WITH ANYONE • GET MESSAGES/CALLS FROM ANYONE
MORE PERSONALS ONLINE: wweek.com
•STRAIGHT•GAY•BI• LIVECHAT • PERSONALS • FORUMS
503-222-CHAT (2428) VANCOUVER 360-696-5253 EVERETT 425-405-CHAT TACOMA 253-359-CHAT SEATTLE 206-753-CHAT
www.livematch.com
LIVELINE DOES NOT PRESCREEN MEMEBERS! 18+
WillametteWeek Classifieds APRIL 4, 2012 wweek.com
53
TO PLACE AN AD CONTACT:
TRACY BETTS
503-445-2757 • tbetts@wweek.com
REAL ESTATE
RENTALS
GETAWAYS
FOR SALE BY OWNER
CONDOS SE
ROCKAWAY BEACH
Pilates Studio For Sale Fully equipped Pilates studio close-in downtown/pearl.
*2 professional reformers, cadillac, split pedal chair w/handles, barrel, misc. access., large mirrors on major walls. Newer hdwd floors, 2 south facing windows are 7’x 4’, custom paint, 13’ ceiling. (Lease option on the space.) Clients and clients list.
ASHLEE HORTON
Sellwood condo for rent, very clean/quiet, charming 2 bedroom, fireplace, washer/ dryer, dishwasher, upgraded kitchen, new carpet, tile bathroom, small patio. Quiet community, close to buses, shopping. Very clean. No pets, no smoking. $725. 503-699-1308.
*In business 8 years in this location. Getting married and moving to Cali. $18,000K/all offers considered *For more info, please call 503-241-7783.
HOMES SW HILLS
WWeek.com
Superphat Party Pad 5432 SW Westwood View
Winter Rates in April Save with our winter rates. 10 homes available. Ocean front/view, pet friendly, Wi-Fi and more. Rates from $82 per night. *Stays in April can enter for a free 2 night stay. www.northcoastbeachrentals.com 866.355.0733 Toll Free
MOUNT ADAMS
Mt Adams Lodge at the Flying L Ranch
4 cabins & 12 rooms on 80 acres 90 miles NE of Portland 35 miles N of Hood River Dog Friendly Groups & individual travelers welcome! Mention this ad for 35% OFF from now through May 31st!
www.mt-adams.com 509-364-3488 Unique 110’ foot long home built around indoor pool on .22 acre. Great close-in location among million $ homes Easy walk to Hillsdale or Fairmount loop. $250k wasted on improvements last year alone! 4 new hardwood decks, 30 new windows & 17 of 36 skylights are new! New kitchen, Mstr/bath, Roof and Cedar siding. Dry sauna, billiards room, loft office, wine closet & big 2-car garage + dog run but only 2 bedrooms.
Must see! $509k OBO Sold Furnished (or not!)
call 503-819-8723
PETS
Tamale The first thing you should know about Tamale is that he isn’t “Tamale” anymore. He changed his name. He is quite marketing savvy actually. The new name: Orange
Julius Caesar. The “Orange Julius” part because he is sweet and smooth (and Orange); the “Julius Caesar” part because he is a little emperor. Also you should know he likes to be called “OJC” for short. OJC is not very athletic. He can’t jump up on counters. He’s got just enough in him to get up on a couch or bed though, and he likes those spots. OJC is clean. He spends time after each meal making sure he looks good. OJC only will talk to you when he’s hungry, so you won’t forget to feed
503-542-3432 • 510 NE MLK Blvd
www.pixieproject.org 54
WillametteWeek Classifieds APRIL 4, 2012 wweek.com
him. OJC is the color of a gold retriever. OJC looks like a tiny lion. OJC is soft like a sheep, but unlike a sheep he can sleep indoors on your bed. And he likes to do this. And he won’t bother you at night. OJC loves to be in laps. He loves to be stroked. OJC will play, but it’s more a bonus than a necessity. Sometimes he just plays with tiny scraps that aren’t even toys. They could be considered garbage to some people, but OJC finds their inner beauty. OJC thinks in Garfield’s voice. He’s such a good cat emperor. Come meet him.
His adoption fee is $100. He is fixed, vaccinated, microchipped and currently living in foster care.
503-445-3647 • ahorton@wweek.com © 2012 Rob Brezsny
Week of April 5
ARIES (March 21-April 19): Please study this testimony: “Born in a rancid, bat-infested cave at the base of the smoldering Sangay Volcano, I was raised by the half-bear demon princess Arcastia. At the age of four my training as a ninja shaman began when I was left naked and alone next to a stream of burning lava with only two safety pins, a package of dental floss, and a plastic bag full of Cheerios. My mission: to find my way to my spiritual home.” Now, Aries, I’d like you to compose your own version of this declaration: a playful, over-the-top myth about your origins that gives you a greater appreciation for the heroic journey you’ve been on all these years. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Our ancestors owned slaves and denied education to girls. What were they thinking? Time magazine asked renowned historian David McCullough if there was anything we do today that our descendants will regard as equally insane and inexcusable. His reply: “How we could have spent so much time watching TV.” I’ll ask you, Taurus, to apply this same exercise on a personal level. Think of some things you did when you were younger that now seem incomprehensible or ignorant. Then explore the possibility that you will look back with incredulity at some weird habit or tweaked form of self-indulgence you’re pursuing today. (P.S. It’s an excellent time to phase out that habit or self-indulgence.) GEMINI (May 21-June 20): “I can’t tell if I’m dealing well with life these days or if I just don’t give a sh-- any more.” I stumbled upon that comment at someecards.com, and I decided to pass it along for your consideration. You may be pondering the same riddle: feeling suspicious about why you seem more relaxed and tolerant than usual in the face of plain old everyday chaos. I’m here to tell you my opinion, which is that your recent equanimity is not rooted in jaded numbness. Rather, it’s the result of some hard work you did on yourself during the last six months. Congrats and enjoy! CANCER (June 21-July 22): What excites you, Cancerian? What mobilizes your self-discipline and inspires you to see the big picture? I encourage you to identify those sources of high-octane fuel, and then take extraordinary measures to make them a strong presence in your life. There has rarely been a better time than now for you to do this. It could create effects that will last for years. (P.S. Here’s a further nudge from Ralph Waldo Emerson: “Every great and commanding movement in the annals of the world is the triumph of enthusiasm. Nothing great was ever achieved without it.”) LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): While browsing in a bookstore, I came across a book and deck of cards that were collectively called Tarot Secrets. The subtitle of the kit was “A Fast and Easy Way to Learn a Powerful Ancient Art.” I snorted derisively to read that claim, since I myself have studied Tarot intensively for years and am nowhere near mastery. Later, though, when I was back home meditating on your horoscope, I softened my attitude a bit. The astrological omens do indeed suggest that in the upcoming weeks and months, you just might be able to learn a rather substantial skill in a relatively short time. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Writing in The New Yorker, Joanna Ravenna paraphrased German philosopher Nietzsche: “The best way to enrage people is to force them to change their mind about you.” I’d like to see you mutate this theory in the coming weeks, Virgo. If possible, see if you can amuse and entertain people, not enrage them, by compelling them to change their minds about you. I realize that’s a tricky proposition, but given the current astrological omens, I have faith that you can pull it off. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): In 1892, when Wrigley was just starting out as a company, its main product was baking powder. Free chewing gum was included in each package as a promotional gimmick. But soon the freebie became so popular that Wrigley rearranged its entire business. Now it’s a multi-billion-dollar company that sells gum in 140 different countries -and no baking powder. Maybe there’s something like that on the verge of happening in your own life, Libra:
What seemed like the main event could turn out to be secondary, or what seemed incidental might become a centerpiece. Is there something you are overvaluing at the cost of something you are undervaluing? SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): People in intimate relationships are hypersensitive to negative comments from their partners. Psychologists say it takes five compliments to outweigh the effects of a single dash of derogatory criticism. I’m sure the ratio is similar even for relationships that aren’t as close as lovers and spouses. With this in mind, I urge you to be extra careful not to dispense barbs. They would be especially damaging during this phase of your astrological cycle -- both to you and to those at whom you direct them. Instead, Scorpio, why not dole out an abundance of compliments? They will build up a reservoir of goodwill you’ll be able to draw on for a long time. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Researchers report that the typical man falls in love 5.4 times over the course of his life, while the average woman basks in the glow of this great mystery on 4.6 occasions. I suspect you may be close to having a .4 or .6 type of experience, Sagittarius: sort of like infatuation, but without the crazed mania. That could actually be a good thing. The challenging spiritual project that relationship offers may be most viable when the two people involved are not electrifyingly interwoven with every last one of their karmic threads. Maybe we have more slack in our quest for intimacy if we love but are not obsessed. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): “I couldn’t wait for success,” said rich and famous comedian Jonathan Winters, “so I went ahead without it.” I love that approach, and I suggest you try it out. Is there any area of your life that is held captive by an image of perfection? Consider the possibility that shiny concepts of victory and progress might be distracting you from doing the work that will bring you meaning and fulfillment. If you’re too busy dreaming of someday attaining the ideal mate, weight, job, pleasure, and community, you may miss out on the imperfect but amazing opportunities that are available right now. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): On Reddit.com, Kaushalp88 asked the question, “What is the most badass thing that you have ever done, but that other people weren’t impressed by?” Here’s his own story: “I was at an ice-cream shop. At the exit, there was a small raised step I didn’t see. I tripped over it with my ice cream cone in my right hand. The ice cream ball sprung out of the cone. I instinctively lurched my left hand forward and grabbed it, but at the same time I was already falling toward the pavement. I tucked my head into my chest and made a perfect somersault, rising to my feet and plopping the ice cream back in the cone.” I suspect you will soon have comparable experiences, Aquarius -- unusual triumphs and unexpected accomplishments. But you may have to be content with provoking awe in no one else beside yourself. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): “Worry often gives a small thing a big shadow.” So says a Swedish proverb. Can we talk about this, please, Pisces? Of course there are real hazards and difficulties in life, and they deserve your ingenious problem-solving. But why devote any of your precious energy to becoming embroiled in merely hyped-up hazards and hypothetical difficulties? Based on my analysis of the astrological omens, now is a propitious time to cut shadows down to their proper size. It’s also a perfect moment to liberate yourself from needless anxiety. I think you’ll be amazed at how much more accurate your perceptions will be as a result.
Homework Do a homemade ritual in which you vow to attract more blessings into your life. Report results at FreeWillAstrology.com.
check out Rob Brezsny’s Expanded Weekly Audio Horoscopes & Daily Text Message Horoscopes
freewillastrology.com
The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at
1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700
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TRACY BETTS
503-445-2757 • tbetts@wweek.com
JONESIN’
ASHLEE HORTON
by Matt Jones
“Cutting in Line”--hey, no fair!
maximally project his voice? 63 Effortlessness 64 Insurance variety 65 Ex who gave “The Donald” his nickname 66 “South Park” cocreator Parker 67 Word in many Scottish place names 68 Spine-tingling Down 1 Tube top? 2 Every last bit 3 Mauna ___ (macadamia nut brand) 4 End-of-letter abbr. 5 Went off like a microwave 6 Singer ___ Del Rey 7 Part of IHOP 8 “Brothers” in the 2008 market collapse 9 Come up short 10 It may include an “undecided” option 11 From Pyeongchang 12 Like violin bowstrings 13 Sciences’ counterpart 18 Defensive schoolyard retort 19 Unlike volunteer work 22 Suffix for an illness 23 “That’s not good...” 24 Fine-tune muscles 25 High school in a 1980s-90s fiction series 27 “Silent Spring” pesticide 29 Shoot the breeze 30 Facing the pitcher
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I M A D E T HIS
35 Seafood-and-rice dish 37 Most Super Bowl MVPs 39 Political cartoonist Ted 40 The shallowest Great Lake 41 Tax return nos. 43 Beastie Boys album “Licensed to ___” 45 Union for voice-over artists (FAR AT anagram) 47 Adorable bunny feature 48 Open-ended ultimatum 49 Sight to take in 50 Down Under native 53 “Leave it in,” to a proofreader 55 Chess goal 56 Token in an old Monopoly set 58 Become droopy 59 “___ Been Everywhere” (Johnny Cash song) 60 See 15-across 61 Punk/folk singer DiFranco 62 No, in Robert Burns poems
“Drift Pile #2” by Andrea Benson $900, framed 24” sq. mixed media encaustic on wood panel for sale at artist’s studio by appointment Troy Laundry Building, 221 SE 11th Ave., Portland, OR 97214 andrea@andreabenson.com www.andreabenson.com
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last week’s answers
Across 1 “The Alienist” author Carr 6 Stitch’s friend, in a Disney movie 10 Vegetable in Cajun cuisine 14 By itself 15 With 60-down, “The Price is Right” prize worth freaking out over 16 Lousy 17 End up winning and coming second at the same time? 20 One of a biblical 150 21 “___ the loneliest number...” 22 Start 26 “Yo, ___!” 28 AKC winner plus a mini Shetland? 31 Actress Skye of “Say Anything” 32 ___ bran muffins 33 It may be obtained in a bed 34 Blind followers 36 Honey ___ (KFC sauce) 38 Belgian city of WWI battles 42 Mai ___ (drink) 44 Lawyers’ gp. 46 Dinghy need 47 Soldier’s comment akin to “It’s time to join the line, dear”? 51 How some meds are taken 52 Wedding dress fabrics 53 Participate in a bee 54 Qatari leaders 57 Narrator’s goal to
503-445-3647 • ahorton@wweek.com
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©2011 Jonesin’ Crosswords (editor@jonesincrosswords.com) For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle #JONZ566.
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