NEWS Hales on guns: stay angry. FOOD BEST DELIVERY PIZZA. MOVIES WAVE OF FRUSTRATION.
“POETRY IS THE CONSCIOUSNESS OF A SOCIETY.”
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INBOX ZOO RESTAURANTS, PART 2
Some of the information provided for this story [“No Inspections for Zoo Restaurants Since 2006,” WW, Dec. 26, 2012] by both the zoo and Oregon Health Authority was not included. In 2006, the Multnomah County Health Department notified the Oregon Zoo that it would no longer be inspecting zoo facilities. The county’s decision was based on the attorney general’s determination that government-operated food services do not meet the requirement for inspection as defined by state law. Upon informing the zoo that it would be discontinuing inspections, the county did offer to serve as paid consultants. Jon Kawaguchi, the Multnomah County official quoted in this article, apparently informed WW that the county offered “consultative inspections” (i.e., paid inspections) in 2006, and he seemed to recall offering them a couple years later as well. (We have tried to confirm the specifics of this conversation, but as of Dec. 28, Kawaguchi was no longer working for Multnomah County.) Although the zoo did not choose to pay for consultative inspections, it never turned away county inspectors, and food safety inspections are conducted three times every day by zoo staff. The implication that health department inspections would have prevented this particular outbreak has no basis in fact. Dr. Jean O’Connor, deputy director of OHA’s Public Health Division, noted that while norovirus is common in the winter months, the risk at the zoo is no greater than in any other public setting. —“Oregon Zoo”
Someone recently told me Oregon was home to the world’s largest mushroom. Is it as big as a whale? And where is it, so I can avoid it? It sounds creepy. —Another Liberal Arts Major Puny human! The Old Gods sneer at your pathetic, ant-minded attempts to comprehend the mighty fungus, Armillaria solidipes, that lurks deep within Eastern Oregon’s Malheur National Forest. For behold, chump: This entity is not merely the world’s largest mushroom—it is the world’s largest living organism of any kind. How big are we talking about? No one knows (which is scary in itself ), but estimates range as high as 35,000 tons. “But how can this be?” you ask, in your tiny, gerbil-like voice. “Surely such a huge mushroom would be visible from miles away, like an enormous Smurf mansion.” But once again your simian intellect, so admirably evolved for throwing 4
Willamette Week JANUARY 2, 2013 wweek.com
BAD TASTE IN THEIR MOUTHS
WW food writing [is the equivalent of ] Yelp reviews with proper punctuation and grammar [“The Best Thing I Ate,” WW, Dec. 26, 2012]. Bad restaurants pimped by the media because the “pimps” have no clue what they’re talking about. —“ccc” Can I encourage you to accept “eat somewhere else” as your New Year’s resolution? La Sirenita sucks. Almost any taco truck would be better. La Bonita next door would be much better. My wish for the coming year is not to see bad restaurants pimped in the media, no matter the excuse. —“extramsg”
HEY, ONE MORE LISTEN
No love for AU’s amazing album Both Lights? [“Portland Exceptionalism: The Best Local Albums of 2012,” WW, Dec. 26, 2012.] That was one of the best albums to come out this year regardless of the band being from Portland or not. —“Derek”
QUESTIONS, QUESTIONS...
What about the printmakers? —“Marc” [“Best Portland Art of the Year,” WW, Dec. 26, 2012.] What about Kara Walker? —“mmm” What about the Portland artists? —“Parker Burnmill” LETTERS TO THE EDITOR must include the author’s street address and phone number for verification. Letters must be 250 or fewer words. Submit to: 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Fax: (503) 243-1115, Email: mzusman@wweek.com
feces at your companions, fails utterly to apprehend your master’s majesty. First of all, the reason no one is quite sure how much the mighty Armillaria actually weighs is because the vast majority of it is underground. We know how much land area it covers—2,400 acres, if you’re counting. But it’s tough to tell how deep the seething mass of mycelial fibers that comprise the fungus’s main body might go. (Though “all the way to hell” sounds like a good bet.) We tend to assume that each individual mushroom is its own organism. That, of course, is exactly what they want us to think, but the truth in this case is that these are merely the fruiting bodies of a single, vast being. Poking their heads through the forest floor like the billion thrusting penises of Cthulhu, they watch the waking world, biding their time until the Old Ones rise again. Iä! Iä! Shub-Niggurath! QUESTIONS? Send them to dr.know@wweek.com
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ALL THE NEWS OF INTEREST SO FAR THIS YEAR. K E N T O N WA LT Z
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New Portland Mayor Charlie Hales is making a response to the Newtown, Conn., school massacre a top priority for his first week in office. Hales has scheduled a meeting this week with Police Chief Mike Reese and the superintendents of all six school districts within Portland’s city limits. The topic: increased school security. “I want to know where we stand HALES as a city on school safety planning,” Hales says. Hales says he wants to reduce risks, but adds, “I don’t want to over-promise, because there’s too many guns out there.” Hales also says he plans to talk with regional leaders, including Multnomah County Chairman Jeff Cogen and state Sen. Ginny Burdick (D-Portland) about tightening gun control in Oregon. “We’ve gotten too practiced at a sequence in which we say, ‘These victims were wonderful people, they’re in a better place now, and let’s take strength from how sweet and virtuous those lost family members were,’” Hales says. “I want us to stay angry and focused on action, not just mourning.” Former Portland City Council candidate and soon-to-beex-state Rep. Mary Nolan (D-Portland) is a candidate for the top job at Planned Parenthood of the ColumbiaWillamette. As wweek.com first reported last week, the nonprofit confirmed Nolan— who lost a bid to unseat City Commissioner Amanda Fritz in November—is a candidate for the CEO position. She would replace David Greenberg, who NOLAN left his $196,000-a-year post last year following contentious contract negotiations with the Service Employees International Union. Nolan, 58, may be more politically in line with Planned Parenthood and its supporters than the previous finalist, Judy Peppler, who backed Republican John McCain’s 2008 presidential run and Republican Chris Dudley’s campaign for Oregon governor in 2010. Nolan also confirmed she’s talking with Planned Parenthood but declined further comment. “My take on it is, I don’t want to have a public take on it,” Nolan says. Incoming Metro Councilor Bob Stacey isn’t wasting any time in challenging the agency’s stance on the Columbia River Crossing, the $3.5 billion megaproject that would replace the Interstate 5 Bridge and run light rail to Vancouver. Stacey wants tolls added to Interstate 205—a move he says would prevent travelers from ducking tolls scheduled for the new I-5 Bridge. Projections already show tolls paid by traffic using the CRC will fall short of projections. Current plans don’t include I-205 tolls, and federal law says existing freeways can’t add tolls without a major expansion or reconstruction project. Stacey says he’s confident there are ways to put tolls in place—even if it takes a long time to get approved. “If you ask, and you have congressional support for your ask,” Stacey says, “there will be a way to do it.” Read more Murmurs and daily scuttlebutt.
K E N T O N WA LT Z
alpina redtail
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voices in their own words, six people who insist you see portland and oregon in a new way.
Fred Armisen by christopher hornbecker , iFc; LAinie bLock WiLker by ViViAn Johnson; c h A r L i e h A L e s b y k e n t o n WA Lt z ; A L m A r g u i L e s , J o h n n y n o b u e n o & J u L i e p A r r i s h b y V. k A p o o r
By ww sta ff
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They are angry, agitated, wry. They are careful watchers, even obsessive witnesses, to what is odd and distracting and wrong. And they all stand on lonely promontories from which they view our city—and call out to us. This issue of WW introduces you to six people who know this town, and this state, in ways many of us don’t. In the following pages, you’ll hear from people who are fighting the school system, a monopoly transit agency and Oregon’s status as a one-party state. You’ll hear from a comic actor whose TV show japes at Portland’s smugness and discover a poet who has followed a dangerous road home. And you’ll listen to the new mayor who has returned to City Hall and isn’t enthralled with how things are going. They speak in a harmony of discontent, haunted by a city that is leaving citizens out, that it is heading in the wrong direction, that trails off, out of breath, before finishing its own narrative. But if you feel a glimmer of hope for 2013, maybe it’s because these aren’t complacent voices. They want you to know they are speaking for you—and why they are doing so—and that they won’t fall quiet until something gets better.
VOICES cont. on page 8
Willamette Week JANUARY 2, 2013 wweek.com
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voices cont.
why he loves living here, and why portlandia plays it safe. By MARy EMILy O’HARA
mohara@wweek.com
When Fred Armisen became a Portland resident about a year ago, he chose a place to live not too different from the kind you’d expect for a New Yorker. Last spring, the actor and co-creator of the IFC series Portlandia signed a lease on a Pearl District apartment. When he’s here, Armisen, 46, rarely leaves the city, where he buys drumsticks at Revival and takes in Timbers games. He hates nature and the outdoors, and the farthest from downtown Portland he’s traveled is Happy Valley, for the Pickathon festival, to see Neko Case perform. For someone who has only recently made the city a part-time home, Armisen— more than any writer in many years—has helped shape and shift perceptions of Portland by the rest of the world. Portlandia, the series he created with co-star Carrie Brownstein, begins its third season Jan. 4 with a well-established cult following. The series has been hailed for using the city’s oddities to parody a more universal self-satisfied preciousness. “Portlandia knows that there is a little bit of Portland in everyone,” read the citation when the show won a Peabody Award last year, “and invites us to have a quick laugh at our own foibles.” But the show has also been criticized for its lack of comedic edge and as a safe, even bland, collection of sketches—as The New York Times said this year, for a “mildness to the show that keeps it from being as funny as it should.” Armisen’s career has moved from his time as a punk drummer in the Chicago band Trenchmouth to a comedy career in his 11th season as a regular cast member of Saturday Night Live, where he gained fame for his impressions of President Obama. (Full disclosure: Armisen and I are friends of a sort—we first met in the Chicago punk scene.) Armisen’s own future is uncertain— he’s rumored to be leaving SNL after this season. He will only say it will include Portland for a long time. Do you want to start by telling me what you’re doing today? I’ve been doing a lot of phone press today with different publications. Last week I had to work on SNL. Just today I did a voice-over for a show called Bob’s Burgers. What are you doing on that show? I play a food inspector. Before Portlandia, you were visiting Portland and doing projects with Carrie Brownstein and hanging out. Now that you actually live here half the 8
Willamette Week JANUARY 2, 2013 wweek.com
Chris hornbeCker
fred armisen time, what has changed in your perspective of the city? I’ve just gotten to like it even more. But all I knew really was downtown [and] a little bit of the east side. The outlying areas, all those things that surround the city of Portland, I’ve really liked getting to know that. Going to places and areas I haven’t gone to before, I like that kind of discovery. There’s a street up way west. I think it’s called Skyline—all the way up in these hills, and then it just goes up and up and up and up, and you see a few scattered bicycle people but not like messenger people, people who do it athletically. And there’s farms up there and there’s like this whole world. Technically, it’s Portland, but it feels like you’re a million miles away. I’m surprised to hear you say that. It borders Forest Park, so I think of it as this place where hard-ass nature lovers go—people who like to hike. Oh no, no, no. You’ve got it wrong. You’re thinking that I’m walking around. I never leave my car. I’m very, very comfortable in the surroundings of my car. Some people say Portlandia, when it comes to depicting the city, plays it on the safe side. It covers a certain segment of Portland, a certain part of the culture, a certain kind of person. Do you feel like you’re playing safe on purpose, or do you feel there are a lot of things you don’t know about Portland, and that’s why those aspects of the city don’t really make it into the show? It’s a few different things. On a personal level, I feel like we write about what’s close to us and the areas that we’re in. My feeling is that every year it expands. With some luck, and if we get to do season four and season five, those are places to explore. That’s a place to go. We can’t fit every aspect of the city in the first few seasons. My gut feeling is, you know we’ll get there. When we write, we actually don’t think, “What can we cover about Portland?” Portland is kind of like a road map. Sort of like the gravel and the driveway. When we sit in the writers’ room, we think, “We need to do something where Carrie plays a sister to me, and what that dynamic is. We need to do something where there’s customers trying to buy a phone.” It all starts there. It’s not a documentary. It’s what is going to create a funny sketch? We’ve made the mistake of thinking we need to cover this aspect of Portland, and we can’t think of any jokes for it. We wasted a half a day trying to do something about movie theaters that are serving rustic foods, and it went nowhere. So it starts with the joke. The first thing always is, what’s the relationship? And this is actually a bit of a chore because I don’t enjoy that. And it’s the others that always say, “Dude, you
FRED ARMISEN: "I think some people will say, 'Oh, I moved here because of the show,'" he says. "I apologize if I'm that one extra-annoying person, but I’m one of them."
gotta think about what the relationship is.” I have to be told stop making it a circus, because it really is about me and Carrie. There’s still a general quality to the show that is kind of good-natured, but in an edgy way as Portland itself can be edgy. That’s my own ethic. I think there’s enough dark stuff out there. I think there is enough negativity that is covered. And I feel like, well, let’s try optimism because I think it might be a good way to go. And it moves things forward without bumming people out. You don’t like to acknowledge when you dislike something or find something annoying. But there are things about Portland that drive people nuts. One thing that drives me nuts is there are a lot of stop signs and really careful, overly polite [drivers] at the crosswalk to the point where you can’t drive. We covered it in this [sketch] called, “No, You Go,” where the car just keeps stopping forever and you never get anywhere. So that’s as complain-y as it gets. We try to keep it really light. Also, you have to remember that I’m not
from there. So I can’t complain too much. My complaint if anything is that people are too nice at the crosswalk, but that’s as far as it’s going to go. You know when you talk about your family, you could totally complain about them. And then someone else does it. You’re like, “You can’t talk about my mom.” What are some scenes or jokes that didn’t work? Another one we shot—which was my idea and I was so mad at myself, wasting everybody’s time—Carrie and I played these ambulance drivers in Portland, and we shot and we shot and we shot and we just never went anywhere. Ambulances are just not fun. How much do you improvise on the show? Like 90 percent, 80 percent. We’ll map stuff out. We even write a script. But then you just kind of look at it and go, “Well, we don’t need that.” You’re moving away from the individual short sketch into more of an ongoing narrative.
cont. It’s a combo of the two. So a good way to think about it is, the last episode of season two, it’s all about this one long line at brunch. But if you look at it, it’s individual little sketches. Have you milked dry the Portland you know—what’s funny and what’s jokeworthy? Maybe Portland will change. There might be a whole new way of looking at Portland.
“THAT’S KIND OF LIKE, YOU KNOW, OUR WORLD, FOR LACK OF A BETTER WORD. WHITE PEOPLE, SORT OF LIKE PRIVILEGED PEOPLE. WE ALL THOUGHT A LOT OF PEOPLE WERE MOVING TO SEATTLE IN THE ’90S, BUT THEY WEREN’T. IT WAS JUST WHITE KIDS WITH GUITARS.” —FRED ARMISEN
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The show seems to focus on particular parts of the city. What happens if Portlandia goes past 82nd Avenue and redirects its focus from this middleclass, fixie-bike, coffeehouse culture to people who live in trailer parks and the rest of Portland? That’s what I’m looking forward to. But is that sort of focus—the man on the street, the maybe-not-so-wealthy people that live here—is that out of the safe range for you? There’s lots of ways to do it. It’s tricky. But my answer is, I don’t know. I saw a couple of interviews you have done just recently—one in the Daily Beast. You said Portland is impervious to anything bad happening. There is a reality of Portland that is actually really difficult. Your show doesn’t reflect some of the basic underlying, unfortunate realities about Portland, like the lack of jobs. Well, it’s a TV show, not a documentary. It’s comedy and entertainment. We’re not going to cover every aspect of it. If you look at the show and you go character to character, you might find some people whose houses are foreclosed on them. Carrie and I play a couple who are sort of the punks out on the street. And even if they’re white, you can argue that they’re
broke. And we make a joke of it. But you know those people are homeless. As far as what I said in that interview, I would say that my point was that my perception of it is that I don’t go to those areas. I know they exist but—you know, I’m admitting my ignorance. My question isn’t really about the content of the show but more the effect the show has on Portland’s reputation and image. People say they move here because of the show. I think you might be overestimating people’s ability to move. I think some people will say, “Oh, I moved here because of the show.” I think moving is kind of a big deal, and I bet you those numbers—if you really, really examine them—I’m gonna just guess that it’s probably not that high. Even if it is kind of a trend, I think it’ll pass quickly. But again, I don’t live there. I’m kind of a person who’s kind of new there. And I apologize if I’m that one extra-annoying person, but I’m one of them. People were moving here for the same reasons before Portlandia came out. It’s just something to consider in terms of the way it has expanded people’s knowledge that the city of Portland even exists. I just don’t believe that a TV show can in a big way affect numbers like that. In fact, that’s kind of like, you know, our world, for
voices
lack of a better word. White people, sort of like privileged people. We all thought a lot of people were moving to Seattle in the ’90s, but they weren’t. It was just white kids with guitars. You’ve had an apartment here for a year maybe. Are you thinking about buying a house? I don’t know. I’m still thinking about it. As far as, like, plans, things change so much, and they’re so unpredictable that I think, oh, I’ll just deal with it when I get there. You must be thinking about your plans for SNL. I mean, you’re leaving this year, right? What I’d like to say about SNL is, I love it there and I don’t know what the future holds. I won’t be there forever, but like I said, I don’t plan this far in advance. My life is, like, I’m in a few different places at once. Don’t forget I used to go to Portland before Portlandia. Portland will always be a part of my life. TV show or no TV show, I love going there. I can’t help it. But you’ve never spent a whole winter living here. Yeah, but I like winter. I like cold, I like rain.
VOICES CONT. on page 10
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a parent activist becomes a powerful schools critic—and a force pps can't ignore. By nig e l jaq ui ss
njaquiss@wweek.com
If you Google the name Lainie Block Wilker, you get a photograph of Bobbie Regan instead. In the photo, Regan, the longest-serving member of Portland Public Schools’ Board of Education, is weeping after voters in 2011 had just narrowly rejected a $548 million school bond. It was a shocking defeat for PPS—and nobody deserved more credit for the defeat than Wilker. (In 2012, voters approved a scaled-down, $482 million bond.) Wilker, 44, has emerged as one of the most outspoken and potent critics of Portland Public Schools. PPS leaders had for years become accustomed to being attacked by anti-taxers, such as the late Don McIntire, or AfricanAmerican leaders, such as Ron Herndon, whose protests forced PPS to direct more money to minority students. But Wilker is an unlikely opponent: an intellectual-property lawyer who is a selfdescribed “liberal Democratic soccer mom from Laurelhust” with a third-grader and a sixth-grader in Portland schools. Her shift from being a rabid schooldistrict supporter to vocal critic has cost her allies among activist parents. “They all became part of the establishment,” Wilker says. “I’m not part of the establishment.” Wilker has now turned her criticism to PPS’s efforts to reform high schools, including increasing remedial classes at the expense of programs for high achievers such as Advanced Placement and International Baccalaureate. A year ago, she founded Smart Schools PDX, which has proposed what she says are data-backed solutions and a strategic plan for K-12 that’s an alternative to the district’s approach. Wilker talked to WW about her criticism of PPS’s plans for high schools, how she handles being labeled an elitist, and why 2013 will be a key year in the fate of Portland’s schools. Portland Public Schools has released a report that says with its redesign of high schools it has lowered the dropout rate, raised the graduation rate and narrowed the achievement gaps. Do you believe it? Well, the way they’ve done it basically is they’ve shaved down higher-achieving students to bring up the bottom. They have slightly more kids graduating, but the ACT scores show that they’re not prepared for college. Our largest employers are saying they’re not prepared for the work force. If you bump up the graduation rate and kids can’t get a job and they can’t get into college, then how have we served them? 10
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lainie block wilker But the district has a history of low achievement generally on the part of minority and low-income students. Shouldn’t that be a high priority? Actually, the majority of Portland dropouts are white, and less than half qualified for free and reduced lunch, so statistically it’s actually not the biggest problem. If you’re not investing in the middle or the top, then we’re not going to have jobs, we’re not going to have money for social services, and we’re not going to attract high-tech employers. The achievement gap is a poverty issue. The largest factor in the achievement gap is the loss of summer learning. So why don’t we do OMSI camps or other rigorous programs for all these kids? Instead of drumming groups, why don’t we have robotics teams? You’ve said PPS leaders want equitable mediocrity. What do you mean? Well, I think that [Superintendent] Carole Smith has a very myopic focus on North Portland. I think she listens to specialinterest groups who make a lot of noise. There have been a lot of historic injustices. I understand that. But the reality is, 79 percent of kids are transferring out of the Jefferson catchment area, and they’ve done better at Franklin and Benson and Grant. So why don’t we invest in what’s working? You’ve advocated for more things like robotics programs and International Baccalaureate and AP courses at every high school. Aren’t you just an elitist? No. Robotics is skill-building. It’s the hands-on learning that includes programming and engages all kinds, including nontraditional students. We’re preparing kids for a global economy and the IB program is globally recognized. You’ve criticized Grant High for reducing AP courses and beefing up offerings for lower achievers. Why? Just look at the scores since the highschool redesign. Grant and Franklin both nose-dived 10 points. You’ve been critical of PPS for restricting transfers to Benson Polytechnic High School, in part to help rebuild Jefferson and Roosevelt highs. Why? Because PPS is restricting transfers to Benson, a school that is serving economically disadvantaged kids of color and giving them a career path. We can’t afford to operate all of our high schools. We should focus on the programs that work. Why are you going to deny a kid a ticket out of poverty to a middle-class job to keep them at a school that has been designated as a dropout factory? You’ve said PPS should close high schools. Which ones? Jefferson and Madison, if you just look at the numbers—geography, demographic projection, graduation rates, the capture rates, the transfers. All those patterns.
LAINIE BLOCK WILKER: “I think a lot of families are starting to opt out,” says Wilker (pictured with daughters Hannah, 11, and Callie, 8) on the fate of Portland Public Schools. “I think it’s the beginning of kind of a brain drain.”
But a lot of their problems are attributable to poverty. Closing the schools doesn’t end poverty. Right, but those kids will have access to better schools. Why do you think the educational establishment rejects what you’re saying? There’s this kind of political correctness, which unfortunately has kind of divorced from economic reality. You began as a pro-district activist and worked to pass Measures 66 and 67, which raised taxes on business and the wealthy. What turned you from a PPS booster to PPS critic? Measure 66 and 67 was a turning point. It was sold to us that it was going to be a steppingstone to kicker reform. It was pretty clear to me the approach was badly flawed and that we were going to burn the business community. That’s when I realized that the education people were not looking at the full chess board. [Some activists] spent so much time spinning our wheels on teacher-evaluations forms and rallies. Why go to a rally if there’s no plan for revenue reform? If you don’t have a plan, then maybe we need to create a plan.
In 2011, you helped defeat the $584 million school bond. Did you vote for the 2012 measure that passed? No. I feel like it was going to have to be a vote of no confidence to get competent leadership that values academic achievement. Will Gov. John Kitzhaber’s 2011 education-reform package benefit PPS? I’ve asked to work with them to target STEM [science, technology, engineering, math] teachers. I asked to work with [Oregon Chief Education Officer] Rudy Crew and said, “Look, there are major industries that want to support vo-tech training, but they’re frustrated with leadership.” I haven’t heard back. You don’t see any hopeful signs? What Rudy Crew would need to do is invoke the Department of Education’s turnaround authority and replace PPS and its executive team and the school board. They’re out of compliance with every educational standard. We’re talking about implementing a business plan that requires a competent management team. If PPS were a business, it would be placed in receivership. VOICES cont. on page 11
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P e t e r H i at t
charlie hales
voices
a decade away made the new mayor a different kind of (political) barnyard animal. By AA R O N M E S H
amesh@wweek.com
Once again, Charlie’s in charge. Ten years ago, Charlie Hales quit his job as city commissioner to start selling streetcars. On Jan. 2, the downtown-development champion returns to Portland City Hall, taking the oath as mayor and promising to fix what fell apart while he was gone. Hales inherits a city that has grown in national prominence in his absence, but has also become mired in financial quagmires—from ballooning police and fire pension costs to gas-tax shortfalls—he never faced in the relatively prosperous 1990s. Hales cut his teeth on the City Council—serving from 1993 to 2002—as a proponent of urban density and public transit, often warring with neighborhood leaders over ideas for growth. In his mayoral campaign, Hales promised a meat-and-potatoes approach, a clear shift from the frenetic, often distracted term of ex-Mayor Sam Adams. WW sat down with Hales in the days before his swearing-in to discuss what he’s learned in his decade away, what he’ll make his first priority in office, and what haunts his dreams at night. You were on City Council for 10 years. What did you not get done the first time? I don’t think it’s so much what I didn’t get done. The more I’ve gotten into this—even since the election—the more I feel like my skill set and my experience are right for what the city faces now. So it’s not so much the things undone from 10 years ago as the things that are on the table right now. Look at the issues in the Police Bureau: That requires changing the culture of a large organization. That requires courage, which I hope I have enough of. Clarity, which I hope I can achieve. And persistence, which I think I can manage as well. There’s a big difference between the last time you were in office and now. In the ’90s, the city was flush. The city was flush. You didn’t have to bear down on overhead costs to put more money into mowing grass in parks, or putting officers in patrol cars, or building the next community center. We’ve passed probably all the tax measures we can foresee for a while. When citizens get their property tax bills next November, there’s going to be some sticker shock—we passed three money measures in one ballot. We better be relentless budgeters and do more with what we have.
charlie hales: “My style is pretty collaborative,” says Portland’s new mayor, who promises to mend relations with regional leaders. “i will make sweet contact with a lot of decision-makers, because we’ll need them.”
And here’s something that surprises me about myself: When I was in office before, I didn’t care that much about budgets. Now I know how important they are. The budgets are the programming for this big machine. [Mayor] Vera [Katz] was an assiduous budgeter, and I participated in that process. But in a ham-and-egg breakfast, the chicken is involved, but the hog is fully committed. I was the chicken. You and Oregon Gov. John Kitzhaber had lengthy terms in office, left for years in the wilderness, and then came back. It’s clearly been a different Kitzhaber. Is this a different Charlie Hales? I don’t know if it’s a different Charlie Hales. I do really feel energized. I had a few moments in the long slog of the campaign where I thought, God, I wonder if I’ll wake up after the election and say, “What have I done?” Actually, I’m really looking forward to the job itself. I wake up in the morning thinking about the work. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night thinking about the budget. That’s a bad sign. Not many people get a do-over. What did you learn the first time around that’s going to change how you handle things this time around? Well, what I’ve learned in the interim is: Focus on a few things. I’m going to spend the first six months focused on the budget, the Police Bureau and the schools. In my case, it was further informed by working in a lot
of other cities, seeing things that were done well, seeing things that weren’t done as well as Portland, seeing Portland through all those other eyes. There’s some things about Portland that are wonderful and that we celebrate and that other cities are dazzled by. There are some things about Portland that aren’t on the tour. What’s something that Portland shouldn’t celebrate? No planner from the city of Portland should be going to national conferences and bragging about how smart we are about urban planning in Portland until we have an actionable plan to make [Southeast] 122nd and Division a great place. And stuff has actually happened. Ditto about going to conferences and bragging while Jantzen Beach is a bunch of strip malls and lottery bars. We have a lot of work to do to make the hype about how livable Portland is true citywide. Adams played the mayor’s aide on Portlandia. Will they have to find somebody else for cameos? They haven’t called me yet. I’m offended. If called upon, will you serve? I will, but not in the same role. It’s their script and their show, but given who I am, the role is going to have be a little edgier than the dweeby assistant to the mayor. I’m going to need some serious makeup in terms of tattoos and piercings. VOICES cont. on page 12
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julie parrish a brash republican survivor talks about how her party needs to change. By BR E N T WA LT H
bwalth@wweek.com
Julie Parrish knows she’s a political misfit. As she puts it, she’s an immigrant’s kid, a first-generation American from a Lebanese father. She’s an under-40 suburban mom with kids in public schools who can’t remember a time growing up when her family didn’t rely on government programs to get by. “Demographically,” Parrish says, “I should not be a Republican.” But she is—and an outspoken one at that. Parrish, a state representative from West Linn, is at 38 an emerging leader in the Oregon GOP. In her first race, in 2010, she beat the Republican favorite in the primary. In the 2012 elections, Democrats took back control of the House by targeting her and four other first-term Portlandarea Republicans. Only Parrish won re-election. Parrish is proudly brash and at times controversial —criticized in 2012, for example, when she blasted out thousands of robocalls at inactive voters. She has strong ideas about what her party—which has not seen a statewide victory in 10 years—must do to become more relevant. Parrish also talked to WW about why Gov. John Kitzhaber, a Democrat, has been good for the Republican agenda, and how people panicked by losing their guns don’t all come from the GOP. Where did you grow up? I was born in Oregon, but we bounced around. My parents’ marriage was very volatile. It wasn’t always pleasant—lots of domestic violence-type issues. My parents divorced, and my mom moved us around. I went to five elementary schools, three middle schools and two high schools. There was no real stability growing up. You have been outspoken about reforming public assistance programs, which your family relied on. That was back when welfare benefits were fairly generous and food stamps looked like Canadian dollars—not the Oregon Trail card you swipe at the grocery store nowadays. Section 8 housing. Health care. The gamut of government services. My mother was getting food stamps until the last kid turned 18. She had six kids. But we all ended up Republican. My sister is ridiculously conservative compared to me. My brother migrated to Texas. What we learned from that experience is that the system doesn’t work. What isn’t working? How do you get off the system? There’s no good way to get people to think out of those programs effectively. But don’t a lot of programs try to provide a bridge? That’s the intent. I don’t think that’s the outcome. Republicans have not won the governorship since 1982. What’s your party not doing that it should be? We can do a better job getting out our vote. We saw that in 2010 where 100,000 Republicans stayed home and Chris Dudley lost the governorship by 20,000 votes. The tragedy of the division of rural Oregon and urban Portland is that there really is a feeling of disenfranchisement out in rural Oregon, that their voice is just not heard, that their vote doesn’t count. It has artificially depressed voter turnout. You were targeted this year for defeat, as were four other House Republicans in the Portland area. Only 12
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JULIE PARRISH: “Watching the status quo lobby-types cry in the rafters because we passed some major education reform,” Parrish says of state school restructuring in 2011, “it was kind of gratifying.”
you survived. You also won in the suburbs, the electoral tipping point in Oregon. What were you hearing from voters that Republicans might learn from? When I go out and knock on doors—we’re talking about suburbia here—there are certain things voters in Oregon want, the things I think government should be doing. I want a road to soccer practice, and that road needs to be safe, there needs to be a police officer on it, and I don’t want potholes in it.
Kitzhaber has taken up parts of the Republican agenda—school reform and public pension reform, for starters. He’s building a very centrist agenda. The governor—while I don’t agree with everything he’s trying to get accomplished—recognizes the problems for what they are. He knows there’s work on [the Public Employee Retirement System], public safety and economic development. Historically, these are things Republicans care about.
And what do you hear about schools? In other states, they’re actually doing universal school choice. They’re letting parents pick the school that works for them, as long as it meets a course standard. Oregon used to make, grow and build things. We don’t do that anymore. Those pathways are not there for kids in urban Portland, just as they’re not there for kids in rural Oregon. That’s an opportunity to link those two worlds together around some common ideas around education.
So how could Republicans hope to give Kitzhaber a serious run in 2014? It depends on how this [legislative] session goes. His biggest problem may be his own party. If it was me running for governor, I’d point out our unemployment hasn’t gotten better, there’s an increase of the number of people on the Oregon Health Plan. There’s not enough job creation. And there’s a bridge to be built between urban and rural communities: Schools in both places are failing. The person who comes in with a unification message can give Kitzhaber a run.
Do Republicans win by campaigning on universal school choice? What’s the outcome of [school choice]? The outcome is, your child gets to have a productive life. They’re not one of the 80,000 18-to-23-year-olds in this state on food stamps. I don’t know any parent who wants that for their kids. School leaders say the existing educational structure might collapse. Schools are collapsing without us making decisions around choice. What else should Republicans be talking about? How we care for our people. Kitzhaber came in with 700,000 Oregonians on food stamps. At his midterm, 800,000 Oregonians are on food stamps. What’s 2014 look like? Another 100,000 people? That’s not sustainable. If you’ve got hungry kids—and I’ve been a hungry kid, and that sucks—a hungry kid can’t learn. How do we ensure we’re not sending kids to school hungry? If you have a hungry kid who’s not getting good nutrition, you’re going to have bad health-care outcomes. That drives the cost of health care. That’s at the root of fundamental conservativethinking values. You’re looking at the system in kind of a long-term trajectory. Democrats say they look at it in the same long-term trajectory. How are Republicans different here? I’d like to see a pathway for individuals to move forward.
But can Kitzhaber be beat in 2014? I’m not sure. It depends on if the Republicans have a strong enough challenger. Is there one out there? I don’t know who that person is right now. As you noted, Multnomah County, with its heavy Democratic vote, has been an almost impossible barrier for Republicans to break through. This state is not as blue as people think. You should see the emails I get on guns. They’re not just from crazy right-wingers, they’re coming from Democrats. That just doesn’t play out at ground level. I have Republicans calling for gun control. I have Democrats saying, “Don’t take away my guns.” A lot of people in your own party probably don’t like your candor about how many issues defy party labels. The Republican Party didn’t choose me. I crashed the wedding. The great thing is, I get to listen to my neighbors, hear their concerns and know they need a voice in Salem. I get to be that voice. And if my neighbors hadn’t re-elected me, well, I would just have gone and opened a pie shop. VOICES cont. on page 13
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al margulies
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the trimet watchdog says riders should demand more from the agency. By AA r o n m e sh
amesh@wweek.com
Al Margulies has more time than ever to be the scourge of the transit agency he calls “TriMess.” Margulies—one of the most outspoken of the transit agency’s public watchdogs—was a TriMet driver until he retired in May after 15 years behind the wheel. In 2006 he launched a blog, “Rantings of a TriMet Bus Driver.” He retired, he says, because he got sick of the transit-agency brass cracking down on him for posting unflattering information on his blog. He’s since inserted “Former” into the title of his blog, where he keeps tab on an agency that last year cut service, raised fares and battled with the Amalgamated Transit Union Local 757 over benefits. In posts and on Twitter, Margulies rails against TriMet General Manager Neil McFarlane—“Neil’s bullshit” is a typical headline—and publishes executives’ salaries. Margulies, 58, talked to us about how TriMet must change, where the union needs to back down, and how fare inspections are like gillnetters on the Columbia River. What’s the nicest thing you can say about TriMet General Manager Neil McFarlane? I haven’t seen him do anything good. The system is a wreck. Buses don’t show up. The riders are pissed. His gestapo tactics of fare collection. Fare machines don’t work, so people can’t even buy the fares. It’s insulting, really. No business could survive that model. But they’re a monopoly. What’s the first thing he should do to fix TriMet? He needs to talk about capital projects expansion. He needs to talk about bond debt. He can’t just focus on one of three problems and say, “This is the problem.” And he needs to be realistic about his expectations of union employees. He can’t just bulldoze his way through here—which is what he’s trying to do. What’s one thing the union should concede in contract bargaining? They’re going to have to concede some of the work rules. A driver will [finish] a run—and if you don’t have eight hours between the next run, you can do something called a “passup,” where you say, “I’m not going to run that run.” TriMet wants the pass-up to be gone; I can understand that. [TriMet] can’t continue funding all of our health insurance—especially in the light of their continuing expansion.
AL MArguLies: “You just have to have some empathy for people to be successful in that career,” he says of being a TriMet driver. “You have to give a little bit of a shit about people you’re carrying. A lot of people take that job simply for the money.”
You have to remember, a lot of [TriMet’s] problem is brought on by themselves. They kept expanding, expanding, expanding. McFarlane added huge levels of bureaucracy at the top levels of management. Whole new departments. What do you think of the way TriMet is enforcing fares? The fines are not commensurate with the violation. A fine for riding without a $2.50 ticket should be 10 times the ticket: $25. It shouldn’t be $175 for one poor person. It’s predatory. They set up these situations at a [Trail Blazers] game where they gate off the whole area [at light-rail stops]. I consider it like gill-net fishing for the public. Hunting season is open for TriMet. What should riders ask TriMet to do in 2013? TriMet won the first round of [union contract] arbitration—and they’ve claimed that there’s no savings. The riders need to start saying, “Bring back some of this service. We’ve had enough of these cuts and these fare increases.” The riders suffer the worst—worse than any of the drivers, worse than any of the management. They have to pay more for less. I don’t see the management taking home a salary cut. There’s a big, long list of six-figure executives over there. Cut everywhere else but service. Cut the marketing department. Cut the communications department. Cut the capital projects department. Marketing needs to go. It’s a monopoly: You don’t need
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to be running ads. People are going to ride it because they don’t have a choice. You often say TriMet lies to the public. What’s one of the bigger whoppers? It’s that the union is the biggest reason why there’s service cuts and fare increases. They haven’t stopped hiring—their hiring just goes on and on and on. Administrative jobs. There are still promotions. I see no slowdown. Their attempts to constantly distort the reality of TriMet—it’s pretty significant. Say a bus breaks down. There’s no alert. Look at how they use Twitter. You don’t really see any live alerts. They try to keep the servicedisruption news to a minimum. They don’t want that out. Any advice for a bus driver just starting out? Patience is the virtue here. People are bad off out there. Do it with some heart, you know? Lots of people are working there who have never made more than $10, $12 an hour in their life, and all of a sudden they’re making $25, and they want to pile on the overtime. And the more you work, the harder it is to keep a positive outlook. You start getting hard after a while. And that’s a shame when that happens, ’cause they don’t feel people’s pain anymore. It’s disturbing to have to watch, actually. It’s one of two things: You either hired the wrong people, or this job made them mean. VOICES cont. on page 14
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JOHNNY NO BUENO: “It’s been a long trek all just to come back home,” says No Bueno, whose knuckle tattoos spell out VAGABOND.
johnny no bueno the portland poet has shaped a redemption narrative from a troubled, restless life. By er in fen n er
efenner@wweek.com
Portland poet Johnny No Bueno smokes a cigarette and laughs with a friend outside of Backspace in Old Town, reminiscing about hopping rail cars and the dangerous life he’d once led. “I was supposed to be one of the ones that died,” he says. At age 14, No Bueno (born Sean Bowers) was already selling drugs and carrying a gun. He took his first road trip, to San Francisco, to escape his parole officer and troubled family. He spent years on the run and—now sober and reformed— returned in 2010 to Portland, where he’s become a leading figure in the city’s poetry scene. His new poetry collection, We Were Warriors (University of Hell Press), draws from his past life. No Bueno, 32, is an editor for Criminal Class Press, runs a reading series at St. Johns Booksellers called “Them’s Fightin’ Words,” and is a fixture of the Portland Poetry Slam. We talked to No Bueno about grit, Ginsberg and what he owes the underworld. You grew up initially in Portland in a very difficult family situation. My father was a computer programmer for Portland General Electric during the day. At night, he was a drunken biker. A violent drunken biker. My mother’s always been in between jobs. Most of the time, she’s a bartender. I lived with my father in the suburbs, and even at a young age I was busing into the city. Hanging out on the corner. Going to Powell’s and stuff like that. Then my father got sick of me when I was 11. I was a troublemaker. Always in trouble. Always lying, always stealing. You ran into trouble with the law early on. My father sent me to live with my mother in a trailer park in Canby. I started burglarizing. I first got busted for burglary when I was 12, then I started getting shipped around to foster homes. My father couldn’t deal with me. My mother 14
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couldn’t deal with me. She told me they were going to come take me the next day to MacLaren [Youth Correctional Facility]. So I ran away. And I stayed gone for a couple of months. My mom convinced me to turn myself in. So I turned myself in and then began my in-and-out of MacLaren and Hillcrest [Youth Correctional Facility]. The first time I was in Hillcrest, I was in a work-release camp in Florence when my father was murdered on Christmas. So that took home out of the equation entirely. When did you start writing? My father took me to Powell’s and got me the complete works of Edgar Allan Poe at the age of 7. I was an avid reader at this point. I fell in love with the musicality—the cadence of “The Raven,” the language of “The Tell-Tale Heart” and my favorite Poe poem, “The Conqueror Worm.” I was like, wow, you can do that with words. Musicians do some cool stuff, but not this. This is magic. Somewhere around 11 or 12, I was reading Robert Frost, Carl Sandburg—that’s when I started really trying to write poetry. Horrible. Horrible. Roses are red. Violets are blue. Yeah, it was bad. You started writing poetry at age 12? I wanted to be a child prodigy at something. The only thing I was prodigious at was failure and heavy narcotic use. The first time I ran away to San Francisco, I found a copy of “Howl.” So by flashlight while sleeping in Golden Gate Park I read “Howl” by Allen Ginsberg. And I knew at that point that I wanted to be a writer. I was extremely attention deficit, so I couldn’t read a whole novel, but I could read poetry. I get to Boston [for] the first time in 1999 or 2000, and there’s a bookstore in Harvard Square called the Harvard Coop. I’m at the poetry shelf just looking for something to steal. They come in and put a book on the shelf called The Outlaw Bible of American Poetry. This huge, thick, 900page tome. They’re talking about Bukowski, people that I vaguely knew of from the San Francisco spoken-word scene like Bucky Sinister. They have poems by Walt Whitman, Tupac Shakur, Bob Dylan.
I was planning on stealing books. I spent the $20 on the book and it was the greatest $20 I ever spent in my entire life. What did you want to accomplish with We Were Warriors? This book is my concession speech from a life of living on the road, shooting heroin. Trying to be this street-corner hoodlum— not trying. I was fairly successful at that. It’s a way of me letting go: Here, this is what I owe the underworld. This is what I owe the underbelly of society. I owe heroin. I owe every heroin dealer. I owe every prostitute. Every dirty cop. Every homeless person. Every person locked up. I owe them my existence. If it wasn’t for them to shape me, I wouldn’t have a book. I owe everything—all the good stuff in my life—to the bad stuff in my life. You haven’t always been a fan of slam poetry readings, but you helped create and run a reading series in North Portland called “Them’s Fightin’ Words.” Bucky Sinister introduced me to a man named Marty Kruse who has since passed from cancer. Marty Kruse, he organized the book-buyers union at Powell’s. He used to organize the selling of merchandise at national poetry slams. I really admired him greatly. As he started getting sick with cancer, he was working at St. Johns Booksellers and he was trying to get this reading series off the ground, and he wasn’t able to do it. I was asked by the head of St. Johns Booksellers to head that up. And so this was an opportunity to kind of give Portland a blue-collar reading. And that’s kind of the direction I want to go with it. Portland has a tendency to attract middle to upwardly mobile white kids with lots of money. And they do really cool projects and it’s very neat. Nothing wrong with it. Ultimately, I watch blue-collar writers just get overshadowed by kitschiness. And “Them’s Fightin’ Words” is the last Friday of every month at St. Johns Booksellers at 7 o’clock. What should poetry do for a community? It should inform culture. Form culture. Or subculture. Or counterculture. It should form it. The way that I see it in the whole world as far as politics and everything: Poetry is the consciousness of a society. It’s the angel or the devil on your shoulder whispering in your ear. And in that regard, it is kind of forming. And whether that be to pay attention to beauty or to stand up and scream in a protest. What sort of voices do you try to make sure are represented? As an editor for Criminal Class Press, I take the name of the press into great consequence when reading. I look for people who may not have traditional education surrounding poetry, but who are still subtly pushing the boundaries whatever literary devices they may use. All the while, I’m looking for a certain kind of aesthetic. I’ve accepted submissions that may not be criminal, but they set a tone of insanity or they set a tone of depravity and desperation. I look for blue-collar. I look for poems that probably would not get represented in other places, because of the content or the tone of the poem. One of the questions I always ask myself when I’m reading a poem, “Would this get published anywhere else? Might this scare another publisher?” And now you’re working on a memoir. I’ll probably have a second collection of poetry by next holiday season. My memoir is a longer project. Because my life is so disjunctive, I’m unaware of the chronology of my life to a great extent. I finally found a direction I want to go. It partly deals with homelessness and kind of the things homeless kids have to do for the sake of survival. I’m definitely a fucking basket case. I get cranky. And I’m a raw nerve most days. But I love it. For the first time in my life, I have hope. I have direction. I may be a cranky, pessimistic, cynical old bastard, but I lead a really blessed life. My life is 100 times greater than I ever wished it could be. Nothing but gratitude, even if I don’t always show it. It takes a lot of hard work to be able to continue that. Ultimately, my hope is to be able to give back what has been so freely given to me. And that’s hope, direction. Willamette Week JANUARY 2, 2013 wweek.com
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SONGWRITERS CIRCLE:
RICH WAGGONER - PIERS MUNRO - JACK MCMAHON
MONTHS* is all it takes!
MONDAY 1/7 @ 7 PM
Rich Waggoner is a Portland born and raised singer, songwriter and guitar strummer. He mixes humor, social and political commentary with three chords and a smile. He has two 2012 self produced CDs under the name Waggs: ‘Open Mic’ and ‘Family Tree.’ Piers Munro has played guitar, harmonica and bass for many years throughout Nevada and California and with Portland groups since the 1970s including The Weeds, Redeye, Hawkeye, etc., as well as a whole lot of solo gigs. Piers is currently playing in the Munro Nichols duo, and also plays with Rich Waggoner in the acoustic group Night Folk. Jack McMahon is a performing songwriter as well host and organizer of the Music Millennium Songwriters’ Showcase. McMahon has been a working musician for all of his adult life and over the years has fronted some of Portland’s more notable bands (Tracks, The Chameleons, Jack McMahon & Friends).
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What are You Wearing?
STREET
MELLOW YELLOWS MUSTARD’S NEXT STAND. P hotos bY mor ga n green -hoP kin s an d ashleY a da ir wweek.com/street
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FOOD: Lonesome’s, tonight. MUSIC: Pete Swanson is not on vacation. BOOKS: Calling Dr. Laura. MOVIES: The Impossible is a very bad vacation.
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SCOOP OUR MISTAKES AND REGRETS FROM 2012.
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MARTIN CIZMAR would like to correct last week’s Scoop, which said Cascade Brewing Barrel House’s 12.66 percent alcohol Bourbonic Plague is the strongest beer brewed in Portland. Turns out, Tugboat Brewing Chernobyl Stout is 13.5 percent ABV. He discovered this on his own and felt terrible as he sipped a half-pint of it. He also thinks The Wurst might be a doubly ironic hipster bar disguised so perfectly as a dive that even he was fooled. He is still occasionally awakened by a nightmare in which he repeats his mistaken claim that Lardo uses duck fat, instead of high-grade pork fat, to cook its fries. Also, he would like to apologize for any confusion caused by a joke about Cascade Station (better known as “the stores by IKEA”) replacing Division Street as the city’s culinary promised land.
T U G B O AT
Gerding Theater at the Armory 128 NW Eleventh Avenue
503.445.3700
pcs.org
“Beautifully captures Beard’s zest for life.” —The Indianapolis Star
Rob Nagle as James Beard in I Love to Eat. Photo by Patrick Weishampel.
I LOVE TO EAT
JAN 8– FEB 3
REBECCA JACOBSON must confess that after Portland Center Stage stopped offering press tickets to the Portland Mercury, she may have subconsciously pulled a few punches with A Midsummer Night’s Dream. It was respectable and occasionally luminous, but those incongruous costumes? Those daffy sound effects? That hamming up of Shakespeare’s language? Come on, audiences are smarter than that. But she also thinks It Ain’t Nothin’ but the Blues might have deserved a more favorable assessment. It was a powerfully performed jaunt through musical history and closed the PCS season on a high note.
By James Still
Directed By Jessica Kubzansky
Drs. Ann Smith Sehdev & Paul Sehdev Jan & John Swanson
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Willamette Week JANUARY 2, 2013 wweek.com
MATTHEW KORFHAGE would like to place egg on his own face for incorrectly attributing Stone Barn Brandyworks’ Golden Quince Liqueur to its rival from across the river. Clear Creek Distillery makes no quince-related items. This mistake was especially regrettable because the Golden Quince was the best new local liquor he drank this year. (He also regrets that someone stole the bottle from the WW office, in apparent agreement.) Additionally, he offers sincerest apologies to Casa de Tamales—our winner in a recent tamale taste-off—for not (yet!) returning a steamer pot he’d borrowed from the Milwaukie shop. He also still has a sex-toy box that doesn’t belong to him, and a whistle made out of a bullet.
MATTHEW SINGER wishes to retract a few grades he handed out during his brief tenure as movie editor. Although he stands by his reviews, upon subsequent screenings, Prometheus deserves a B+, as does The Dark Knight Rises, which should get dropped a full letter grade for the Marion Cotillard death scene alone. He also regrets giving Café de Flore the equivalent of an F. It deserves an as-yet-invented symbol denoting the desire to go back in time and blind the writerdirector before the movie was made. Oh, he also feels bad for throwing an octogenarian Rose Festival queen under the bus, though he defaults to the excuse all journalists use when faced with their bad decisions: His editor made him do it. RUTH BROWN regrets nothing.
HEADOUT M AT T H e W B I L L I n g To n
WILLAMETTE WEEK
What to do this Week in arts & culture
WEDNESDAY JAN. 2 PETE SWANSON [MUSIC] The prolific experimentalist and ex-Yellow Swan returns to Portland, and he’s brought a set of mangled near-techno with him. Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison St., 239-7639. 8:30 pm. $6. 21+.
FRIDAY JAN. 4 dON juAN y lOS blANcOS [MUSIC] Like the pre-fame White Stripes and the Stones before them, the L.A. sextet look back to the ’50s and ’60s, where the group harvests the sounds of Chuck Berry guitar riffs, doo-wop and surf, and filters them through a sieve that sounds like a mash-up of a Casey Kasem playlist, regional garage heroes and Morphine. World Famous Kenton Club, 2025 N Kilpatrick St., 285-3718. 9 pm. Free. 21+. 5 filmS by WOOdy AllEN [MovIeS] Five Allen classics (Annie Hall, Manhattan, The Purple Rose of Cairo, Hannah and Her Sisters and Crimes and Misdemeanors), all in 35 mm. It’s the most fun you’ll have without laughing. except you probably will. Cinema 21, 616 NW 21st Ave. Various showtimes. $6 for one, $9 for two, $12 for three.
SWEEP THE STOOP THE MOST POLITE YET EXPEDIENT WAY TO GET STRANGERS OFF YOUR PORCH. The Book of Mormon opens on a doorstep very much like your own. The smash Broadway musical, making a six-day Portland run this week, begins with the clear-eyed, full-hearted, short-sleeved protagonists learning how to spread their faith by doorbell at a Salt Lake City training center. Coached up, the fresh-faced Mormon boys are sent to convert hostile Ugandans with only their magic underwear and fanfiction wherein the biblical Jesus Christ has new adventures in the ancient Americas.
Hilarity, as it’s wont to do, ensues. But let’s say you see the play and don’t hear anything else about the angel Moroni. Or, let’s say you don’t want to hear anything from anyone on your doorstep. Who does, right? Yet, as Portlanders, we mustn’t be unduly rude, even if we have important television programs to watch. So we asked four confirmed door-knockers about the most polite yet expedient way to get them the hell off your porch. Here’s what they said. MARTIN CIZMAR.
GIRL SCOUTS:
JEHOVAH’S WITNESSES:
FULLER BRUSH SALESMEN:
MORMONS:
Claim you’re on a diet.
Just tell them you’re not interested.
Sorry, no thanks.
In areas with heavy missionary presence, keep copies of their literature by your door.
“The most helpful response from the girl’s point of view is to tell her honestly why you are not interested in buying. However, if you don’t have time to explain, the best standard response in my book is that you are trying to eat healthy and don’t eat cookies anymore. It is a common response I heard that didn’t offend me or hurt my feelings, and I respected customers’ healthy dietary goals.” —Julie sygiel, former Girl scout who sold 10,000 boxes of cookies over 12 years and now owns dear kate, maker of leak-proof women’s underwear.
“Be polite, with a smile and say, ‘I’m really not interested right now, but thank you for coming today.’ To be real, I’ve actually told people that before, co-workers and nonWitness friends who ask what they should say if they’re not interested. We have a job to do by talking to people and finding ones that are interested. It’s their prerogative!” —Jehovah’s Witnesses friend who asked not to be identified.
“Well, gosh, I dunno. I guess just tell him that you’re really not interested. Wow, I dunno. If there was someone that came around that I really didn’t want to talk to, that’s what I’d tell him.” —Judy, telephone customerservice representative for Fuller Brush company. (a local salesman and company manager did not return calls for comment.)
“When missionaries knock on your door, and they will, tell them you’ve already been given a notarized copy of the Book of Mormon. Like any good Mormon, I’ve already highlighted my favorite parts.... P.S. As goofy as this whole thing sounds, it’s true. There’s no way in hell some 17-yearold boy wrote this. Plus, it made me a better person.” —inscription in a Book of Mormon given to the author several years ago.
portlandia PrEmiErE [Tv] Fred and Carrie are back... and this time it’s the 1790s! Mission Theater, 1624 NW Glisan St., mcmenamins.com. 7 pm (under 21 permitted with legal guardian) and 10 pm (21+). Free.
SATURDAY JAN. 5 ThE jENNy SchEiNmAN TriO [MUSIC] The titular bandleader may be the least famous member of her own trio, as it comprises legendary guitarist Bill Frisell and the inventive drummer Brian Blade. But Scheinman, as a violinist, arranger and composer, has a versatile résumé of her own. Mission Theater, 1624 NW Glisan St., 223-4527. 7 pm (under 21 permitted with legal guardian) and 9:30 pm (21+). $25 .
SUNDAY JAN. 6 urSulA k. lE guiN [BooKS] The celebrated sci-fi author and longtime Portlander reads from her new two-volume collection, The Unreal and the Real. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 228-4651. 7:30 pm. Free.
MONDAY JAN. 7 OmSi SciENcE Pub [LeCTUre] oHSU biology and neuroscience professor Larry Sherman weighs in on the nature vs. nurture debate with a story about his own biological family—which includes five siblings who grew up under very dissimilar circumstances. Bagdad Theater, 3702 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 236-9234. 7 pm. $5 suggested donation. Willamette Week JANUARY 2, 2013 wweek.com
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Whatever the country’s culinary variety of multilayered causa or thick-brothed casuella, in Peru sandwiches rule the city streets. At night, lines form around the block at sangucherias that are sometimes lit up like Thai discos. The La Sangucheria food cart takes the kitchen-sink sanguche straight to Portland’s downtown streets, in contrast to the more manicured, casual Peruvian fare offered by North Portland restaurant Las Primas. La Sangucheria’s massive pachamama sandwich ($8) is protein-loaded to absurdity with bacon, breaded chicken breast, sweet-smoked ham, egg and cheddar, then smothered in a Order this: Saltado sandwich ($8). mayo tartar of onion, egg and I’ll pass: The hot dog-and-fries parsley. Pencil-thin fries form salchipapas ($5) had fries either a starchy slaw atop the pagodahalf-soggy or half-done. stacked meat. Each sandwich, it seems, has fries slipped inside—the Peruvian fetish for potatoes knows no bounds. However, on our visit the fries were a bit unevenly cooked. The pachamama is at heart an unseemly burlesque of food impossible to keep in its sopping bun, but it is also a thing of beauty. Like, say, a Dario Argento horror-porn sequence, the whole unmanageable dripping mess adds up to well-balanced craft. Each texture and layer can be appreciated, and yet they manage to work together rather than clash into cacophony. The generously appointed saltado sandwich ($8)—beef tenderloin marinated with onions in soy, vinegar and spice—is an equally impossible meal for those cursed with only two hands, but it is also one of the best street-level steak sandwiches in town, shaming even a good Philly sub with its juicy intensity. High art it is not. But I can think of little better to eat while high. Take heart, then, that the cart is open late on Fridays and Saturdays. MATTHEW KORFHAGE. EAT: La Sangucheria, 108 SW 3rd Ave., 957-2410. 11 am-3 pm Tuesday-Thursday, 8 pm-3 am Friday-Saturday. $.
DRANK
MILK STOUT (WIDMER BROTHERS)
902 NW 13th Ave. • 503-242-1916 20
Willamette Week JANUARY 2, 2013 wweek.com
To answer your first question: Yes, this is beer with milk in it. Sort of, anyway. Milk stouts are made by adding lactose, the sugar in cow’s milk, to a base of dark, chocolaty malts. Brewer’s yeast can’t ferment milk sugar into alcohol, so it hangs around to give the brew extra heft and a soft, creamy sweetness. Done right, the results can be extraordinary, and the Widmer Brothers have done it perfectly. Widmer Milk Stout is a smooth, black and complex brew that uses a heap of Cascade hops to avoid turning out anything like a milkshake. The final product clocks in at 50 bitterness units, double the hoppiness of the famous but overly sweet version from Colorado’s Left Hand Brewing. This just might be the new standard for milk stout, and it’s available for $6 at Fred Meyer. Milk that for all it’s worth. Recommended. MARTIN CIZMAR.
FOOD & DRINK viviAnjohnSon.com
REVIEW
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Untitled-2 1
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burT And ThE box: Lonesome’s best pie features salami, banana peppers and fried shallots.
LONESOME HEARTS CLUB IT’S TIME TO TAKE EVERYONE’S FAVORITE CRAZY PIZZERIA SERIOUSLY.
some’s pies, it begins with a moderately thick crust that’s double the heft of the Nostrana pies you snip with shears, yet still crispy and charred. Like the best Lonesome’s pies, its soul is the best pizza sauce in town, a bright and very herbal BY M A RT I N C I Z M A R mcizmar@wweek.com marinara. Pools of milky mozzarella, hot salami, Lonesome’s Pizza was too weird to fail. Of course banana pepper rings and crumbles of fried shalPortlanders fell for the quirky, late-night pizzeria lot finish it off. For an untraditional pie, go with “Tesla the like a nebbish male lead playing opposite Zooey Deschanel. Toppings include edible glitter, one inventor vs. Dokken the band” ($23, No. 13 on the owner is an original member of Mini Kiss, there’s menu), which is built from a brown, mildly spiced a discount for sexy talk on Tuesdays, boxes some- Ethiopian sauce and topped with big chunks of times include burned Fela Kuti music samplers, braised leg of lamb and big dollops of goat cheese. and pies have names like “Lee Majors vs. a bar- It’s best piping hot, though, so be careful about when you order it. (At busy times, you might wait racuda with a bowie knife.” Two years ago, a WW writer put it on a list of two hours for delivery.) A trio of greens-heavy salads (all $7) balances great pizzas in town before he’d tried it; another wrote that it has “such an attractive and multifac- things a bit. The Papa Smurf is a very faithful Michigan salad, a bed of spinach eted shtick going on that its with thin slices of crisp pear, pizza could suck and I’d still order this: “Burt Reynolds & the girl small but potent crumbles of order it now and then.” that stole my cd collection vs. a pride Gorgonzola, walnut, cranberries A few months ago, the of badgers” ($21). and a garlic scallion dressing owners closed their humble best deal: A slice from the window at Dante’s ($3 cheese, $4 special). that’s more like chimichurri. The Northeast location and I’ll pass: Sandwiches or wings. Mini-Marilyn Manson is almost moved to prime real estate, the same, but instead is topped the pizza window at Dante’s on West Burnside Street, behind the hallowed with small slivers of pecorino and a generous pile “Keep Portland Weird” wall. The menu has of prosciutto. The wings and sandwiches are not so good. expanded into sandwiches, wings, salads, breadsticks and ice cream. It hasn’t been seamless, The “wings” are actually huge, meaty chicken but Lonesome’s seems to be breaking the barrier drumstricks more like ren faire turkey legs, between being Portland’s most Portlandy piz- with dark, sinewy meat. That might work with a zeria to become a formidable force for good in thicker, stronger sauce, but two different orders our pizzasphere, with pies as memorable as the of habanero apple wings were spritzed with pepboxes. It’s become the pizza equivalent of Voodoo pered water. Priced at $7 for “more than a pound” Doughnut—minus the various commendations, (it might be two), they’re at least cheap. Two sandwiches—“meat” and “veggie,” both $7—come honorary degrees, et cetera. The pizza is almost always very good. Occa- on a nice, soft hoagie roll but aren’t executed as sionally, it’s amazing. After being spoiled by a well as the pies. The problem, in short: The meat particularly stellar “Burt Reynolds & the girl that is way too meaty and the veggie is too veggie-y. stole my cd collection vs. a pride of badgers, ” an Both should be rejiggered for a better balance. I expect Lonesome’s to figure those out, too. out-of-town guest with no knowledge of what passes for blasphemy in these parts shunned an Then, give ’em a zany name and watch the money Apizza Scholls pie. “Why are we eating this?” he roll in. asked. “Is Lonesome’s not open yet?” That $21 Burt—names change, but it’s always EAT: Lonesome’s Pizza, 350 W Burnside St., 274-9570, lonesomespizza.com. 11 am-3 am No. 6—will make you a believer. Like all of Lone- Sun.-Wed., 11 am-4 am Thurs.-Sat. $$.
Willamette Week Recommendations Sorted by category and neighborhood.
see pg. 36
Don’t throw it away. Get it fixed!
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TO PLACE AN AD CONTACT: Ashlee Horton 503-445-3647 • ahorton@wweek.com Tracy Betts 503-445-2757 • tbetts@wweek.com Willamette Week JANUARY 2, 2013 wweek.com
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Willamette Week JANUARY 2, 2013 wweek.com
Jan. 2–8 PROFILE
= WW Pick. Highly recommended.
TyPERECORDS.COM
MUSIC
Prices listed are sometimes for advance ticket sales. At-the-door increases and socalled convenience charges may apply. Event lineups are subject to change after WW’s press deadlines. Editor: MATTHEW SINGER. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, go to wweek.com/ submitevents and follow submission directions. All shows should be submitted two weeks or more in advance of event. Press kits, CDs and especially vinyl can be sent to Music Desk, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Please include show or release date information with all physical mailings. Email: msinger@wweek.com. Fax: 243-1115.
WEDNESDAY, JAN. 2
THURSDAY, JAN. 3
Erik Anarchy, Feral Drollery, Town and the Writ, God Bless America, Kancer and the Rat
Old Age, the We Shared Milk, Fanno Creek, Talkative
[PUNK] Erik Anarchy is the nom de punk of Erik Stephen Griffiths, a mildly autistic kid in his early 20s who started his nascent “career” in Portland five years ago, playing charmingly rambly solo songs with titles like “Fuck the OLCC” and “I Wanna Piss on the White House,” built upon mostly incidental electric guitar and Griffiths’ snotty, faux-British accent. He’s since added bass accompaniment to his live shows, but not much else has changed. This year, Anarchy released Stupid Things, Evil Things and Lies, a 23-track collection covering a wide array of subjects—including the First Amendment (“Censorship Is Un-American”), religious hypocrisy (“The Most Pious Are the Worst Offenders”), H.P. Lovecraft (“Watch Out for Cthulu”), the inanity of Twilight (“I Remember When Vampires Sucked Blood”), American obesity (“Who Let Shamu on the Bus”) and Ron Jeremy (“Ron Jeremy”)— with a directness that verges dangerously close to Wesley Willis territory, but Anarchy seems self-aware enough that there’s no need to feel guilty for finding it amusing. MATTHEW SINGER. Ash Street Saloon, 225 SW Ash St., 226-0430. 9:30 pm. $5. 21+.
[TRIPPING OUT] Portland’s the We Shared Milk is doing everything right these days. Collaborating as though its life depended on it, the psych-rock outfit has built so many inroads with area musicians it’s tough to predict what’s next. And that’s precisely what keeps Boone Howard and friends so damned intriguing. A hazy, experimental, basement-born sound is usually a given, but like having an hallucinogenic experience in a safe environment, a TWSM show is never the same and always stimulating. Freak-folksters Old Age and Talkative round out a strong bill. MARK STOCK. East End, 203 SE Grand Ave., 232-0056. 9 pm. Call venue for ticket information. 21+.
Shy Girls, PWRHAUS, Houndstooth
[SMOOTH GROOVES] Bedroom production studios, bathroom recording booths and Internet music streaming are omnipresent these days. While the convenience of recording technology yields unmeasurable amounts of shit (good and bad), it also brings forth standout gems like Portland’s sultry up-and-coming R&B outfit Shy Girls. Originating in the off-work-hour
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TOP FIVE
By M ATTH EW SI N GER
LOCAL ALBUMS TO GET EXCITED ABOUT IN EARLY 2013 Unknown Mortal Orchestra, II (2/5, Jagjaguwar) The mystery is gone, but Ruban Nielson’s once-enigmatic post-Mint Chicks project is still one of Portland’s singular bands. Based on the new album’s sequel-y title (and hazy lead single), expect another batch of what the debut offered: funky psych-pop future-breakbeats that sound like the product of a group that ate a bunch of acid, turned on the four-track and tried to copy a Meters record. Sallie Ford & the Sound Outside, Untamed Beast (2/19, Partisan) In the two years since being crowned Willamette Week’s Best New Band, the brassy, bluesy quartet put out a swinging-hot debut, played Letterman and blew up in France, and—if the barroom-brawlin’ promo video for its second effort is any indication—got even tougher in the process. STRFKR, Miracle Mile (2/19, Polyvinyl) Having settled on a name (and a marquee-friendly abbreviation) after 2011’s Reptilians, Josh Hodges et al. get back to their particular brand of business: making DayGlo electro-pop for kids who wish Passion Pit wasn’t so emo and MGMT would take more uppers. Eat Skull, III (2/19, Woodsist) It seemed like the noise-punk day-trippers disappeared into the ether sometime after 2009’s Wild and Inside. Turns out, the ether is where the group recorded its new album. Once far beyond overdriven, the band’s recent teaser 7-inch suggests a shift into more placid realms of lo-fi mind-fuckery. Sapient, Slump (2/19, Camobear) Is Marcus Williams a rapper with indie-rock aspirations or an indie rocker with a hip-hop jones? Maybe he’s something else altogether. As a producer and MC, Sape’s always pushed boundaries. Now, he’s preparing to eliminate them entirely.
MAN ON THE RUN
FOR PROLIFIC EXPERIMENTALIST PETE SWANSON, THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS A VACATION. BY R OB ERT Ha M
243-2122
Sitting down for coffee in the Ace Hotel lobby, Pete Swanson is quite a sight. He flew back to Portland the day before, returning home from New York, where the prolific experimental musician attends a graduate program in psychiatric nursing at Columbia University. Swanson looks like a bundle of barely restrained energy, leaning forward and back repeatedly, scrambling to have his thoughts catch up with his exhausted brain. This kind of schedule has become almost normal for Swanson. “I’ve been so busy the last couple of months,” he says. “I’ve been in finals at school, and also playing a bunch of shows, mostly overseas, on my weekends. I’ll get out of class, head home, grab my gear, and then head off to the airport and go somewhere.” True to form, Swanson still has one more test this semester, and after the requisite holiday festivities and a one-off show at Holocene, he’ll hop on a plane and head to Europe for 2½ weeks of tour dates. The 34-year-old musician, formerly of Portland noise band Yellow Swans, admits this flurry of activity has been a result of him playing catch-up. He released a few records during the past two years—including I Don’t Rock at All, a limitedrelease exploration of guitar tones and textures, and his out-and-out masterpiece, Man With Potential, which he was unable to support with a tour because of his school commitments. “My program is really, really, really intense for the first year,” he says. “It was two years of clinical and academic work condensed into a year. And all these people wanted to book me, and I couldn’t do anything.” Now that his schedule has loosened up, Swanson has been able to accept the show offers, and in the process of preparing for those live dates, found the inspiration to create a new batch of material. Scheduled for release early this year, Punk Author-
ity is a 30-minute EP that finds the musician continuing the beat-heavy expressions he played on Man With Potential and this year’s Pro Style EP. As Swanson has gone further into near-techno, though, his version has become dirtier and more desiccated. The clean, melodic lines and glittering intrusions of Man With Potential have been overmodulated and feel deteriorated, as if the tape it was recorded on were crumbling as it ran. “It’s also kind of a marathon listen,” Swanson says of the upcoming EP. “There’s a constant evolution in the pieces, but there’s no volume dips or anything. It’s asking a lot of listeners because there are these kick drums and melodic hooks that come in, but it’s all part of this really nasty morass.” The way Swanson presents his music to the world is starting to evolve as well. His current live setup still includes his typical trio of noisemakers—
“I DON’T FIND THE POSSIBILITIES THAT SOFTWARE OFFERS TO BE MORE REWARDING THAN THE MORONIC WAyS THAT I USE My GEAR.” —PETE SWAnSon a modular synthesizer, reel-to-reel tape machine and mixer—but will soon include a more modern addition. “I’m actually starting to use a laptop, in theory,” he says, patting his MacBook Pro with a hint of embarrassment. “I can do basic computer stuff, but I don’t find the software itself fascinating. I don’t find the possibilities that software offers to be more rewarding than the moronic ways that I use my gear.” That attitude could change quickly, though. His busy Portland schedule includes spending time in a studio with friends to learn how the use of a computer could augment his live performances. Before he gets there, though, Swanson has more studying to do, more coffee to drink and many more people to see in his short return home. After I shut off my recorder, he wastes little time packing up and saying his goodbyes. SEE IT: Pete Swanson plays Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison St., with Concrete Floor, Dreamboat and Goodwin, on Wednesday, Jan. 2. 8:30 pm. $6. 21+. Willamette Week JANUARY 2, 2013 wweek.com
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thursday–friday E M I G R AT E R E C O R D S . C O M
confines of frontman Dan Vidmar’s home, the group has grown into a full-blown seductive powerhouse, complete with smooth backup vocals and sexy saxophone solos. Incorporating fresh sounds and drawing from popular genres of the last few decades—from shiny boyband pop to super-synth-y slow jams to hints of Motown—Shy Girls surfaces at a time when hybrid revivalism is growing more and more sought-after among the kids who ardently filled their Walkmans and boomboxes with the sweet grooves of the ’80s and ’90s. EMILEE BOOHER. Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison St., 239-7639. 8:30 pm. $5. 21+.
The Mel Brown B3 Organ Group
[SOUL JAZZ] In the world of music, it’s often only later in their career that excellent session musicians receive the attention they deserve. Mel Brown is one such individual. After drumming for Smokey Robinson, Diana Ross and the Temptations, Brown turned from R&B to jazz, and moved from Motown to Stumptown. Brown and his various bandmates are widely recognized as some of the finest jazz musicians in the Northwest, and their straight-ahead jazz style—4/4 beats, a walking bass and plenty of classic solos—can be heard six nights a week at Jimmy Mak’s. The B3 Organ Group is the most talented and lively of all of Brown’s bands. The music world’s been good to Brown, but if it had been truly just, this musician would be destined for a scale far larger than Portland. MITCH LILLIE. Jimmy Mak’s, 221 NW 10th Ave., 295-6542. 8 pm. $5. All ages.
forever alone: Shy Girls play Holocene on Thursday, Jan. 3.
Don Juan y los Blancos, the Suicide Notes, Thee Headliners
[GARAGE FLASHBACK] The best garage rock is essentially rooted in the absolute joy of mimicking your heroes and cranking a jagged, personalized love letter fraught with fuzz and muck. L.A. sextet Don Juan y los Blancos, like the pre-fame Stones and the White Stripes before them, looks back to the ’50s and ’60s. The group harvests the sounds of Chuck Berry guitar riffs, doo-wop and surf, and filters them through a sieve that sounds like a mash-up of a Casey Kasem playlist, regional garage heroes and morphine, with call-and-response male-female vocals hammering a sound crafted with such loving anarchy that it’s hard to resist. AP KRYZA. Kenton Club, 2025 N Kilpatrick St., 285-3718. 9 pm. Free. 21+.
Dirtbag with DJ Bruce LaBruiser
FRIDAY, JAN. 4 The Atom Age, Absent Minds, Faithless Saints, Rendered Useless, Three Round Burst
[ROCKET FROM THE CRYPTIC] Another young punk outfit divining inspiration from garages long since abandoned, the Atom Age isn’t shy about employing its grandpa’s sax, but the horn-driven, hell-for-leather choruses impart a raucous sense of play wholly at odds with their blackened lyrical sensibilities. For all the nostalgic implications of its name, the snarling proclamations littered throughout last spring’s sophomore album, The Hottest Thing That’s Cool, revel in the dystopian trappings of modernity. JAY HORTON. Backspace, 115 NW 5th Ave., 2482900. 7:30 pm. $7 advance, $8 day of show. All ages.
Fresh.: Doorly, Jason Burns, Kellan
[ENGLISH BEATS] When Londonbased DJ-producer Doorly was here last, he was playing second banana to dubstep wunderkind Rusko, opening the show with a hurried set of vintage electro and house that never quite congealed. Tonight is his chance for redemption, and we should hope he’s bringing with him a crate or hard drive full of his own material. Doorly’s 12-inch singles run the gamut from dick-swinging dubstep to minimalist techno homages. He’s joined tonight by Jason Burns, a Cleveland émigré who has been burning up clubs in the Northwest with his soulful take on two-step and bass jams. ROBERT HAM. Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison St., 239-7639. 9 pm. $8. 21+.
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Willamette Week JANUARY 2, 2013 wweek.com
[SEXY INDIE ROCK] Give a welcoming kiss to three Portland up-andcomers, still in their honeymoon stage and loaded with potential to go big. Blind Lovejoy is a group with no-nonsense indie-rock sensibilities and a fun, jumpy sound full of adrenaline. Joining them is Modern Marriage, a trio with a sensual sound built around Beach House-style organ and synth melodies and warm, mesmerizing lead vocals. Wrapping up this love affair, Break-Up Flowers delivers raucous guitar loops that are as sweet as their scent, but as cold as their symbolism. DREW LENIHAN. Record Room, 8 NE Killingsworth St. 9 pm. Free. 21+.
Talkative, No More Parachutes, Soccer Babes, Statue and Cowboy [NOISE ROCK] The moniker Talkative fits the band’s music rather well, as does the name of
ALEX LAKE
[GUTTER GLAMOUR] On top of boasting a kick-ass moniker that could easily pass for a Street Fighter character (though it’s actually inspired by indie-film provocateur Bruce LaBruce), DJ Bruce LaBruiser, aka Jenny Bruso, curates a mean dance party. Mashing up house, dance, trance, fem-pop and industrial, the Portland disc jockey tickles the fun out of decidedly darker samples. The year 2012 is behind you, and you never lived up to your resolution to dance more. Go get some. MARK STOCK. The Know, 2026 NE Alberta St., 473-8729. 8 pm. Free. 21+.
Modern Marriage, Blind Lovejoy, Break-Up Flowers
PRIMER
BY JAY HORTON
KEANE Formed: In 1997 in Battle, East Sussex, England. Sounds like: A respectful embrace of modestly attractive thirtysomethings outside a well-scrubbed cafe in drizzling twilight as patrons mirthlessly clink near-lagers. For fans of: Coldplay, Snow Patrol, twill peacoats, non-denominational holidays, artificial trees. Latest release: On its fourth LP, Strangeland, the now-quartet retreats from brief flirtations with relevance—synths! Guest rappers! Guitars less buried in the mix!—and circles back to the painstaking blueprint that set the whole world pleasantly nodding. Why you care: Ten million albums sold worldwide for artists seemingly born adult-contemporary should raise an eyebrow, and, however blessed by fortune—Keane’s 2004 multiplatinum debut, Hopes and Fears, perfectly sated appetites midst a rare lull in Coldplay production—timing alone doesn’t account for such massive sales. If the title of its first (and best, as these things go) album seems stolen from a dully practical self-help manual, the band’s lyrical preoccupation with stability at all costs ennobles anesthetized emotions as slavishly as any antidepressant advertorial. The group has a knack for muted grandeur, one undoubtedly sharpened through early years softening U2 anthems as a piano-led cover band, and the absolute confidence with which it renders the vapid hummable evidently speaks to postmillennial unease. Nobody ever went broke underestimating the tensions of the American public, and though devotees must know on some level Keane plays the opposite of what we once called rock ’n’ roll, a wide swath of folks prefer every act of consumption—especially listening—be made easy. See IT: Keane plays Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside St., with Youngblood Hawke, on Tuesday, Jan. 8. 8 pm. $30 advance, $35 day of show. All ages.
FRIDAY–SATURDAY PROFILE
SPEncER HAnSEn
the group’s 2012 effort, Frantically. Filled with lingering ambient textures, swells of guitar effects, distantly recorded vocals and strange sound loops, the young Portland trio (by way of Eugene) plays stuff that’s busy, eclectic and jarring at times. It’s the kind of immersive music best experienced in full live sets or whole albums, as single tracks don’t paint an accurate picture of the band’s vision, which— aside from the obvious Animal collective comparison—feels compulsive and exploratory. Such a vast and unpredictable soundscape suggests musicians fueled by noise over structure and improvisation over meticulous crafting. the results are both talkative and frantic, but promising, nonetheless. EMILEE BooHER. Slabtown, 1033 NW 16th Ave., 2230099. 9 pm. Call venue for ticket information. 21+.
MUSIC
Jesse Layne
[A tEAR In YoUR BEARD] Your prototypical hirsute folkie fond of the winsome lyric and quivering tone of manful fragility, Jesse Layne—tonight celebrating the release of an apparently not-yetnamed EP—isn’t terribly different from the legion of singer-songwriters strumming their way through anonymity, just a bit better. His heart-rending balladry benefits from instrumental restraint and his troubadour-rock unfurls a welcome swagger— those talents evident from a limited recording career suggest indefinable frisson, separating the coffeehouse open-mic from luxury-car commercial licensing. JAY HoRton. Someday Lounge, 125 NW 5th Ave., 248-1030. 9 pm. $6. 21+.
Pynnacles, No Tomorrow Boys
[PILGRIM’S PRoGRESS] It’s the sort of all-star whimsy you might expect concocted around the wee hours of an oregon Music Hall of Fame party—and, in fact, the group first performed together for a Nuggetsthemed charity function—but Sean croghan (iconic crackerbash/Jr. High frontman) and the guitarists from surf legends Satan’s Pilgrims have indeed fashioned a psychgarage troupe with other local luminaries for a party band of enviable provenance: dad rock solely in the sense the assembled artists sort of fathered our current musical landscape. JAY HoRton. Star Theater, 13 NW 6th Ave. 9 pm. Contact venue for ticket information. 21+.
SATURDAY, JAN. 5 Saucy Yoda, Havania Whaal, Tender Age
[IRonIc-HoP] the appeal of PDX’s Saucy Yoda rests squarely on the listener. Some will relish in watching a squirrelly, pop-culture-referencing hipster bounce around a stage, spitting out monotone rap songs comparing, for example, her vagina to a spicy tuna roll. others will roll their eyes the minute they realize they’re listening to the work of a woman who was clearly stoned and horny at Mio Sushi, wrote some nursery rhymes, then went home and got on Garage Band (played live, it’s an MP3, bass and drums). the choice is yours. AP KRYZA. Club 21, 2035 NE Glisan St., 235-5690. 9 pm. Free. 21+.
Casey Neill & the Norway Rats, Sassparilla, McDougall
[BLUE-coLLAR RocK ’n’ RoLL] casey neill is an unapologetic disciple of Springsteen. that doesn’t mean he blatantly mimics new Jersey’s favorite son (though, in his more rousing moments, he sometimes comes close), but beneath the rootsy surface of Goodbye to the Rank and File, his first album backed by the norway Rats— which nods more toward Richard thompson, frankly—there’s a certain working-class, denimwrapped quality that is undoubtedly the byproduct of having seen the Boss live a few dozen times.
cont. on page 26
DANNY CORN FRIDAY, JAN. 4 [ELECTRONIC] In the past 20 years, there have been at least three upswings in the popularity of electronic music: the rave/ ecstasy period of the early ’90s; the big-beat and trip-hop explosion of the early ’00s; and, more recently, the embrace of bass-heavy genres like juke and dubstep. But while some folks are prepared to unload their Crystal Method and Utah Saints CDs once the buzz dies down, others, like DJ-producer Danny Corn, have ridden every wave and lull. “I think everything moves in cycles,” Corn says. “Interest will wane and come up again. Through it all, there’s been a steady bunch of people that has always loved it.” The 38-year-old artist has been enjoying the current boom time. He spent most of 2012 out of town, either DJing at parties or helping stage-manage electronic festivals around the country. And here in his adopted hometown of Portland, Corn has kept up a steady schedule of club dates, including PDneXt, the monthly showcase he and fellow producers Natasha Kmeto, Plumblyne and Graintable host at Holocene. For those nights, each of the four organizers play a short set, while also inviting a musician or DJ from out of town and one from the local community to throw down. Corn’s busy schedule has allowed him to explore many different avenues of the electronic music world. One night, he can reel off a laptop DJ set of deeply felt downtempo and screwed hip-hop, and go full-on funky the next, using a vintage 808 drum machine and an iPad. This catholic approach to beat-driven music is at the heart of everything Corn has done since stumbling across a rave nearly 20 years ago in his native Los Angeles. “I was listening to a lot of punk at the time,” he remembers, “and the scene was really violent, a lot of gangs. What I loved about it was the energy. I went to this party and they had a rave stage, and I noticed that the energy was just as intense, but I didn’t have to worry about getting beaten up.” Since then, Corn has followed the thread of dance music from its techno/house roots to the jagged squalls of drum ’n’ bass and dubstep’s wobble and rumble. What he hasn’t had much time to do is make a lot of his own music, tending to work up edits or remixes of other folks’ tracks to fit into his DJ sets. Corn is looking to change that in 2013. He has an EP on the way, and plans to stick close to home and spend time in the studio hammering out some bangers of his own creation. Until then, he has the one-year anniversary of PDneXt to worry about (featuring sets by Massacooramaan and Chicago’s DJ Rashad) and his first time headlining Bubblin’, another monthly party, at Mississippi Studios. The fact that the otherwise folk- and rock-focused venue would host such an event indicates how the popularity of electronic sounds has grown. When that gets brought up to Corn, he agrees, but again emphasizes the genre’s cyclical appeal. “I’ve seen lots of ups and downs,” he says. “But as a DJ and an artist, I can’t waste time paying attention to that. I have to focus on what I’m doing and hopefully come up with something that’s unique and original, but contributes to the continuum of dance music.” ROBERT HAM. An EDM lifer talks the past, present and future of electronic music.
SEE IT: Danny corn plays Bubblin’ at Mississippi Studios, 3939 n Mississippi Ave., with Gulls, Josh t and Drumplestiltskin, Lincolnup, and Ben tactic, on Friday, Jan. 4. 10 pm. $5. 21+. Willamette Week JANUARY 2, 2013 wweek.com
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saturday–tuesday MICHAEL WILSON
There are nods to other heroes in Neill’s songwriting as well—from Steve Earle to Joe Strummer—but it’s less in the sound than the feel, which is rough, rugged and always honest. MATTHEW SINGER. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., 2319663. 9 pm. $12. 21+.
The Jenny Scheinman Trio with Bill Frisell and Brian Blade [JAZZ] Jenny Scheinman might be the least famous member of her own trio, which merely comprises two other formidable composer-bandleaders: guitarist Bill Frisell, one of the world’s most venturesome yet listener-friendly musicians, and Brian Blade, one of the most accomplished and inventive drummers in jazz. But Scheinman—a Northern Californiaborn, Brooklyn-based, DownBeataward-winning violinist, arranger and composer—has worked with luminaries such as Bruce Cockburn, Jason Moran and Lucinda Williams and cut seven albums on her own. With such a versatile and varied résumé, expect uncategorized music—drawn mostly from her 10 albums with longtime collaborator Frisell—in this PDX Jazz concert, ranging from rock to jazz to funk to folk and various points in between. BRETT CAMPBELL. Mission Theater, 1624 NW Glisan St., 223-4527. 7:30 pm and 9:30 pm. $25. Under 21 permitted with legal guardian.
Federale, the Upsidedown, the Purrs
PG. 19
[SPAGHETTI NORTHWESTERN] ’Tis the season to ape Sergio Leone, apparently. Federale’s newly released third album, The Blood Flowed Like Wine, is an obvious companion piece to Quentin Tarantino’s Django Unchained, and not just because it contains a song about a vengeful escaped slave who happens to be named Django. Both the film and the record wish to evoke the atmosphere of the famed Italian director’s blood’n’-dust epics. At least Tarantino mashes up things with other influences, like modern music and touches of ’70s blaxploitation—in Federale’s case, it’s content to craft a perfect mimic of Ennio Morricone, the composer who scored many of Leone’s movies. Unoriginal as it might be, the mostly instrumental band’s copy is a pristine one, down to the twanged-out guitars, mariachi horns and wordless, operatic vocals. Ripping off a master like Morricone ain’t easy, but Federale makes it look like it is, and that’s no small accomplishment. MATTHEW SINGER. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 288-3895. 9 pm. $10. 21+.
SUNDAY, JAN. 6 Your Rival, Our First Brains, Sky Above Earth Below, We Play Quiet
[YOUTH ROCK] All hail Portland’s young rock underground! These are the kids of Pinehurst Kids, the long-running Stumptown powerpunk outfit that’s picked up the torch of big-hearted, power chorddriven, highly caffeinated rock ’n’ roll. Your Rival has been dropping EPs and cassettes for the past few years, displaying a knack for melody and hooky, deceptively simple arrangements that are mature beyond the members’ years. (I’m not sure they’re of age yet, but there’s a quality to the music that suggests they will forever be unable to drink legally.) Our First Brains—who are releasing a new tape at this show—are less refined, but their roughly melodic guitars, unhinged drums and phlegmatically throaty vocals also convey a sense of youth in revolt that’s highly appealing, even for those of us who thought we “grew out of” basement shows years ago. MATTHEW SINGER. Laughing Horse Books, 12 NE 10th Ave., 2362893. 8:30 pm. $3-$5 donations suggested. All ages.
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all good on the hood: the Jenny Scheinman trio plays Mission theater on Saturday, Jan. 5.
Pheasant, the Hugs
[INDIE ROCK] While Pheasant’s debut full-length, Black Field, blends the oh-so-common Northwest fixings of guitars, horns and casually sung vocals into an archetypal mixture of upbeat melodic tracks and nostalgic ballads—but there’s still something intriguing about the Portland band. Weary of lingering around one particular style for too long, whether it’s bouncing electric-guitar numbers like the album’s title track or lilting trumpet-driven tunes like “Kid Hammer,” the group pushes its sound around just enough to keep listeners engaged throughout the record. Perhaps the most likable songs, and the most fun to witness live, are those that put a beat in your feet and make you want to sing along during those infrequent moments when frontman Matt Jenkins really lets his voice go. EMILEE BOOHER. Rontoms, 600 E Burnside St., 236-4536. 9 pm. Free. 21+.
MONDAY, JAN. 7 Rare Monk
[POST-INDIE ROCK] Few bands of this century have managed to incorporate a violin and a vocoder into serious rock music, but Rare Monk does just that. Placing punchy, active rhythms against bleeding guitar tones, this Monk is pretty rare indeed, at least when it comes to influences. There’s some early-2000s indie rock here, with all the post-rock trappings that includes, but also touches of hardcore and jazz. 2012 was a big year for the band, performing at SXSW in the summer and completing the Death by Proxy EP in October. After its full-length, titled Sleep/Attack, drops in February, the band might just have gone on to heaven—or, at least, on to a venue that’s not free. MITCH LILLIE. White Eagle Saloon, 836 N Russell St., 282-6810. 8:30 pm. Free. 21+.
TUESDAY, JAN. 8 H∞kers, Grapefruit
[TURN ON, TRIP OUT] Grapefruit is but one of Charlie Salas-Humara’s roughly 80 grillion musical projects, but it might be his most alluring. Kicking out gently oscillating jams that sound like retrofuturistic soundtrack music, the former Panther frontman and current Sun Angle member massages the cerebral cortex with pulsating synths and softly throbbing beats. H∞kers, meanwhile, are something else entirely. Placing dirty garage guitar riffs over swells of freakout distortion and an insistent American-motorik pulse, the nearly un-Googleable Portland band creates a droning interpretation of the blues that’s simultaneously cosmic and tethered to the ground. Both acts want to pave expressways to your skull, one way or another, which makes this a natural pairing for the chemically inclined. MATTHEW SINGER. Bunk Bar, 1028 SE Water Ave., 894-9708. 9 pm. $3. 21+.
Augustana, Lauren Shera
[SOFT ALT] Turn on the radio in 2009, and tune in to a small-town alt-rock station. Augustana’s hits, “Sweet and Low” and “Boston,” might get a few plays per day, but will be largely indistinguishable from other roots rock. It’s all catchy to young ears, but a little bipolar, with whining verses and wailing choruses. At times, it can be difficult to imagine Augustana’s music isn’t just more high-production, low-ranking Billboard drivel with aspirations set much higher than abilities. Releasing 2011’s self-titled album on AOL Music and another as an exclusive at Best Buy aren’t getting the band any brownie points, either. Unofficial band leaders Jordan Lamoureux and Dan Layus weathered a serious change in the lineup in 2011, but the music is the same as when it was bleating from teens’ radios. MITCH LILLIE. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., 231-9663. 9 pm. $15 advance, $18 day of show. 21+.
MUSIC CALENDAR = WW Pick. Highly recommended.
[JAN. 2-8] Landmark Saloon
Editor: Jonathan Frochtzwajg. TO HAVE YOUR EVENT LISTED, send show information at least two weeks in advance on the web at wweek.com/submitevents or (if you book a specific venue) enter your events at dbmonkey.com/wweek. Press kits, CDs and especially vinyl can be sent to Music Desk, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Please include show or release date information with all physical mailings. Email: music@wweek.com.
4847 SE Division St. Davey Sparrow and His Western Songbirds, Honky Tonk Union (9 pm); Ron Rodgers and the Wailing Wind (6 pm)
For more listings, check out wweek.com.
LaurelThirst
CASEYNEILL.ORg
2958 NE Glisan St. Baby Gramps (9:30 pm); Tree Frogs (6 pm)
Mississippi Pizza
3552 N Mississippi Ave. The Hill Dogs
Mount Tabor Theater
4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd. The Clumsy Lovers
nel Centro
1408 SW 6th Ave. Mike Pardew
Original Halibut’s II 2527 NE Alberta St. Rae Gordon
Secret Society Lounge
116 NE Russell St. Bossa Nossa
Slabtown
1033 NW 16th Ave. Talkative, No More Parachutes, Soccer Babes, Cowboy & Statue
Someday Lounge
125 NW 5th Ave. Jesse Layne
Star Theater
13 NW 6th Ave. Pynnacles, No Tomorrow Boys
The Blue diamond
2016 NE Sandy Blvd. The Vermen
The Blue Monk
3341 SE Belmont St. Anomalous Quintet, Damian Erskine Project
The Press Club
CROuCHInG ROdenT: Casey neill and the norway Rats play doug Fir Lounge on Saturday, Jan. 5.
Wed. Jan. 2 al’s den at the Crystal Hotel 303 SW 12th Ave. Matt Brown
ash Street Saloon
225 SW Ash St. Erik Anarchy, Feral Drollery, Town and the Writ, God Bless America, Kancer and the Rat
duff’s Garage
1635 SE 7th Ave. Suburban Slim’s Blues Jam (9 pm); High Flyer Trio (6 pm)
east Burn
1800 E Burnside St. Na Rosai Irish Jam
Thorne Lounge
4260 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Open Mic
White eagle Saloon
836 N Russell St. Ambush Party, Andrew’s Avenue, Muffaluffagus
THuRS. Jan. 3 ash Street Saloon
225 SW Ash St. Stein, 8 Ohm Prophet, the Lovely Lost
Biddy McGraw’s
6000 NE Glisan St. John Ross
Chapel Pub
Goodfoot Lounge
430 N Killingsworth St. Steve Kerin
Holocene
1635 SE 7th Ave. Tough Lovepyle
2845 SE Stark St. Philly’s Phunkestra
duff’s Garage
1001 SE Morrison St. Pete Swanson, Concrete Floor, Dreamboat, Goodwin
east Burn
Ivories Jazz Lounge and Restaurant
203 SE Grand Ave. Old Age, the We Shared Milk, Fanno Creek, Talkative
1435 NW Flanders St. Jim Templeton
Jimmy Mak’s
221 NW 10th Ave. The Mel Brown Quartet
Landmark Saloon
1800 E Burnside St. Eat off Your Banjo
east end
Holocene
1001 SE Morrison St. Shy Girls, PWRHAUS, Houndstooth
4847 SE Division St. Jake Ray (9 pm); Bob Shoemaker (6 pm)
Jade Lounge
LaurelThirst
Jimmy Mak’s
2346 SE Ankeny St. Chris Juhlin
Lents Commons
221 NW 10th Ave. The Mel Brown B3 Organ Group
The Blue diamond
2025 N Kilpatrick St. The Conjugals
2958 NE Glisan St. Scott Law 9201 SE Foster Road Open Mic 2016 NE Sandy Blvd. The Fenix Project
Kenton Club
Landmark Saloon
4847 SE Division St.
Ruby Feathers (9 pm); Chris Miller Band (6 pm)
LaurelThirst
2958 NE Glisan St. Ridgerunner Summit (9:30 pm); Medicine Family (6 pm)
Music Millennium
3158 E Burnside St. Andrew Grade
Original Halibut’s II 2527 NE Alberta St. Terry Robb
Secret Society Lounge 116 NE Russell St. Hunter Paye
Sellwood Public House 8132 SE 13th Ave. Open Mic
Someday Lounge
125 NW 5th Ave. Doo Doo Funk All-Stars
The Blue diamond
2016 NE Sandy Blvd. Ben Jones
The Press Club
2621 SE Clinton St. The Stu Cook Trio
Tiger Bar
317 NW Broadway Karaoke from Hell
White eagle Saloon
836 N Russell St. Brothers of the Hound
FRI. Jan. 4 ash Street Saloon
225 SW Ash St. Riverpool, Set in Stone, December in Red
Backspace
115 NW 5th Ave. The Atom Age, Absent Minds, Faithless Saints, Rendered Useless, Three Round Burst
Biddy McGraw’s
6000 NE Glisan St. Ben Rice (9:30 pm); Lynn Conover (6 pm)
dante’s
350 W Burnside St. Nick Curran Tribute
doug Fir Lounge
830 E Burnside St. Tony Smiley, Mosley Wotta, Ben Union
duff’s Garage
1635 SE 7th Ave. Bingo Therapy, Shorty & the Mustangs (9 pm); The Hamdogs (6 pm)
east Burn
1800 E Burnside St. Pagan Jug Band
Foggy notion
3416 N Lombard St. Moyter, Opposition Party, Duty
Hawthorne Theatre
3862 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Separation of Sanity, Ditch Digger, the Suppression, Hell’s Parish, Path to Ruin
Ivories Jazz Lounge and Restaurant 1435 NW Flanders St. Gordon Lee Trio
Jade Lounge
2346 SE Ankeny St. The Timberbound Project
2621 SE Clinton St. Cary Miga Trio
Vie de Boheme
1530 SE 7th Ave. Franco and the Stingers
White eagle Saloon
836 N Russell St. Vagabond and Tramp, Jacob Miller and the Bridge City Crooners, Shoeshine Blue (9:30 pm); Reverb Brothers (5:30 pm)
SaT. Jan. 5 ash Street Saloon
225 SW Ash St. The Georgetown Orbits, the Longshots, the Sentiments
Backspace
115 NW 5th Ave. My Mantle, Van Eps, Lancaster
Branx
320 SE 2nd Ave. Ocean of Mirrors, Subverse, Dinner with a Bear, Chronological Injustice, the Entity
Club 21
2035 NE Glisan St. Saucy Yoda, Havania Whaal, Tender Age
Congregation neveh Shalom
2900 SW Peaceful Lane Yale Strom, Elizabeth Schwartz, Lou Fanucchi
dante’s
221 NW 10th Ave. Farnell Newton
350 W Burnside St. Grand Royale (Beastie Boys tribute), Keegan Smith, Tony Smiley
Katie O’Briens
doug Fir Lounge
Jimmy Mak’s
2809 NE Sandy Blvd. Dr. Stahl, S.M.B.F.
Kenton Club
2025 N Kilpatrick St. Don Juan Y Los Blancos, the Suicide Notes, Thee Headliners
830 E Burnside St. Casey Neill & the Norway Rats, Sassparilla, McDougall
duff’s Garage
1635 SE 7th Ave. Robbie Laws, Boogie Bone
east Burn
1800 E Burnside St. Neahkanie
Fifteenth avenue Hophouse 1517 NE Brazee St. Switchgrass
Goodfoot Lounge 2845 SE Stark St. McTuff
Hawthorne Hophouse 4111 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Steve Cheseborough
Hawthorne Theatre
3862 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Veio, A((wake)), TallBoy, Sketch the Rest
Ivories Jazz Lounge and Restaurant 1435 NW Flanders St. Javier Nero Septet
Jade Lounge
2346 SE Ankeny St. Krista Herring, Jared Brown (8 pm); Sidestreet Reny (6 pm)
Jimmy Mak’s
221 NW 10th Ave. Eddie Martinez
Katie O’Briens
2809 NE Sandy Blvd. Solar Sea, Zmoke, Mane of Cur
Landmark Saloon
4847 SE Division St. Sent Gents
LaurelThirst
2958 NE Glisan St. Cats Under the Stars (9:30 pm); James Low Western Front (6 pm)
Mission Theater
1624 NW Glisan St. The Jenny Scheinman Trio with Bill Frisell and Brian Blade (9:30 pm and 6:30 pm)
Mississippi Pizza
3552 N Mississippi Ave. Gerald Collier (9 pm); Clambake Swing Band (6 pm)
Mississippi Studios
3939 N Mississippi Ave. Federale, the Upsidedown, the Purrs
Mount Tabor Theater
4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Roni Lee, Jennifer Batten
Music Millennium
3158 E Burnside St. Archie Patterson
nel Centro
1408 SW 6th Ave. Mike Pardew, Dave Captein, Randy Rollofson
Original Halibut’s II 2527 NE Alberta St. Kevin Selfe
Secret Society Lounge 116 NE Russell St. Dominic Castillo
Slabtown
1033 NW 16th Ave. Hangover Fest: Pageripper, Danger Death Ray, 48 Thrills, Fools Rush, Nasalrod, Steven Cole Smith, Jefferson Death Star, Slatwall, Ol’ Doris, Brigadier, Shark Party
Someday Lounge
125 NW 5th Ave. All the Apparatus, Compassion Guerilla
Star Theater
13 NW 6th Ave. Ramble On (Led Zeppelin tribute), Ants in the Kitchen, Red Light Romeos
The Blue diamond
2016 NE Sandy Blvd. Shoehorn Trio
The Blue Monk
3341 SE Belmont St. Ocular Concern
The Know
2026 NE Alberta St.
Teenspot
Vie de Boheme 1530 SE 7th Ave. Cameron Quick
White eagle Saloon
836 N Russell St. Weatherside Whiskey Band, Renegade Stringband, the Weather Machine (9:30 pm); the Student Loan (4:30 pm)
Sun. Jan. 6 ash Street Saloon
225 SW Ash St. Apex of Apathy, Jahai, Lahontan Cutthroat, Wicked Haven
Biddy McGraw’s
6000 NE Glisan St. John Ross
Biddy McGraw’s
6000 NE Glisan St. Twangshifters (9:30 pm); The Barkers (6 pm)
Biddy McGraw’s
6000 NE Glisan St. Felim Egan
dante’s
350 W Burnside St. The Ladykillers
Hawthorne Theatre
3862 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Lighter Than Dark, Liquid City Harbor, Faerabella, Sawtell, the Hoons, Fuzzy Thunder, Tigress, the Modern Golem, Machetaso Profano, Mayflies in April
Jade Lounge
2346 SE Ankeny St. Dan Cecil
Landmark Saloon
4847 SE Division St. Jake Ray and Ian Miller
Laughing Horse Books
12 NE 10th Ave. Your Rival, Our First Brains, Sky Above Earth Below, We Play Quiet
LaurelThirst
2958 NE Glisan St. Dan Haley & Tim Acott (9 pm); Freak Mountain Ramblers (6 pm)
Mississippi Pizza
3552 N Mississippi Ave. Anna & the Underbelly, Cedar & Boyer
Mount Tabor Theater
4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd. DJ Wrexx, Die Robot, the Sindicate, Aaron Schallock, Jesse Lindsay, Savage Appeal, Toxic Diva
Muddy Rudder Public House 8105 SE 7th Ave. Irish Music
nePO 42
5403 NE 42nd Ave. Open Mic
Rontoms
600 E Burnside St. Pheasant, The Hugs
Secret Society Lounge 116 NE Russell St. Open Mic
The Blue Monk
3341 SE Belmont St. Stan Bock Quintet
The Know
MOn. Jan. 7 ash Street Saloon 225 SW Ash St. Open Mic
dante’s
350 W Burnside St. Karaoke from Hell
duff’s Garage
1635 SE 7th Ave. Lily Wilde Orchestra
Goodfoot Lounge 2845 SE Stark St. Open Mic
Jade Lounge
2346 SE Ankeny St. Elie Charpentier
Jimmy Mak’s
221 NW 10th Ave. The Dan Balmer Band
Landmark Saloon
4847 SE Division St. Saturday Night Drive
LaurelThirst
2958 NE Glisan St. Kung Pao Chickens (9 pm); Portland Country Underground (6 pm)
Mississippi Pizza
3552 N Mississippi Ave. Mr. Ben
Mount Tabor Theater
4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd. The Sunny Side of the Street Band
Muddy Rudder Public House 8105 SE 7th Ave. Lloyd Jones
Music Millennium
3158 E Burnside St. Songwriters Circle
The Blue diamond
2016 NE Sandy Blvd. Sumo
The Know
2026 NE Alberta St. Easy Living
White eagle Saloon
836 N Russell St. Rare Monk
TueS. Jan. 8 Bunk Bar
1028 SE Water Ave. H∞kers, Grapefruit
Crystal Ballroom
1332 W Burnside St. Keane, Youngblood Hawke
doug Fir Lounge
830 E Burnside St. Augustana, Lauren Shera
duff’s Garage
1635 SE 7th Ave. Dover Weinberg Quartet (9 pm); Trio Bravo (6 pm)
Goodfoot Lounge
2845 SE Stark St. The Roseland Hunters (Erskine, Melz, Quimby)
Ivories Jazz Lounge and Restaurant 1435 NW Flanders St. Ron Steen Jam
Jade Lounge
2346 SE Ankeny St. Cynthia O’Brien
Jimmy Mak’s
221 NW 10th Ave. The Mel Brown Septet (8 pm); the MYS Combo (6:30 pm)
2026 NE Alberta St. Hot Victory, Whore Paint, Trophy Wife
Landmark Saloon
Vie de Boheme
LaurelThirst
White eagle Saloon
Mississippi Pizza
1530 SE 7th Ave. Trio Intime
836 N Russell St. Cascade Rye
4847 SE Division St. Sagebrush Sisters 2958 NE Glisan St. Jackstraw 3552 N Mississippi Ave. Jeremy Allen
The Blue diamond
2016 NE Sandy Blvd. Margo Tufo
CONT. on page 28 Willamette Week JANUARY 2, 2013 wweek.com
27
MUSIC CALENDAR
jan. 2–8
BAR SPOTLIGHT
Gold dust Meridian
rosnaps.com
3267 SE Hawthorne Blvd. DJs Gregarious, Disorder
rotture
219 NW Davis St. Trick with DJ Robb
Rewind with Phonographix DJs; Decadent ‘80s: DJ Non, Jason Wann
Gold dust Meridian
639 SE Morrison St. DJ Chris Crusher
3267 SE Hawthorne Blvd. DJ Cat Lady
The Lovecraft
Goodfoot Lounge
Star Bar
421 SE Grand Ave. DJs Nealie Neal, Unruly
2845 SE Stark St. DJ Magneto
holocene
ThurS. Jan. 3 CC Slaughters
219 NW Davis St. Hip Hop Heaven with DJ Detroit Diezel
TRAIN IN VAIN: In attempting to summon cool, Streetcar Bistro and Taproom (1101 NW Northrup St., 227-2988, streetcarbistro. com) might have looked a bit farther than our city’s much-loathed covered moving sidewalk. But then again, cool may not be the goal of this Pearl District outpost, which on my visit played soundless infomercials for Carol Burnett DVD sets, and on the stereo switched between smooth jazz and Carly Rae Jepsen. With its padded white vinyl seats, pale exposed wood and brightly lit shelves lined with liquor, Streetcar Bistro recalls an airport bar—the sort of a place you visit out of convenience, boredom and the indiscrimination born of exhaustion. The 30-strong tap list is respectable, but the beer cocktails disappoint. The Apocalypse Now (gin, lemon juice and Aperol, topped with 10 Barrel Apocalypse IPA), designed by local beer cocktail booster Jacob Grier, was watery, and the Stout Sangaree (stout, simple syrup, ruby port, cinnamon and nutmeg) lacked complexity. If you’ve got 20 minutes to kill before that pokey streetcar arrives, there are worse ways to spend it than inside these polished walls, but otherwise, wait until the next train. REBECCA JACOBSON.
Fez Ballroom
316 SW 11th Ave. Shadowplay: DJs Ghoulunatic, Paradox, Horrid
Star Bar
639 SE Morrison St. DJ Barrett
The Know
2026 NE Alberta St. Dirtbag with DJ Bruce LaBruiser
The Lovecraft
421 SE Grand Ave. Vortex: DJs Kenny, John, Skip
1001 SE Morrison St. Fresh.: Doorly, Jason Burns, Kellan
Mississippi Studios
3939 N Mississippi Ave. Danny Corn, Gulls, Josh T & Drumplestiltskin, Lincolnup, Ben Tactic
Secret Society Lounge
Phreak
Star Bar
CC Slaughters
639 SE Morrison St. DJs Riff Randell, Baby Lemonade
Mon. Jan. 7 CC Slaughters
116 NE Russell St. Soulciety: DJs Drew Groove, Katrina Martiani
219 NW Davis St. Maniac Monday with DJ Robb
The Lovecraft
Kelly’s olympian
421 SE Grand Ave. Miss Prid
426 SW Washington St. Eye Candy VJs
Star Bar Gold dust Meridian
639 SE Morrison St. Metal Monday with DJ Nate C
3267 SE Hawthorne Blvd. DJ Tennessee Tim
TueS. Jan. 8
Someday Lounge
ash Street Saloon
Sun. Jan. 6
125 NW 5th Ave.
219 NW Davis St. Girltopia with DJ Alicious
dig a Pony
736 SE Grand Ave. R. Kelly Night: Holla ‘N’ Oates, Maxx Bass
eagle Portland
835 N Lombard St DMTV with DJ Danimal
Someday Lounge 125 NW 5th Ave. Lift
Star Bar
639 SE Morrison St. DJ Bradly
The Blue Monk
3341 SE Belmont St. Pagan Jug Band
225 SW Ash St.
c i r c l e t a l e n t a g e n c y. c o m
Wed. Jan. 2 CC Slaughters
315 SE 3rd Ave. Andaz with DJ Anjali & the Incredible Kid
Hive
rotture
315 SE 3rd Ave. Shut Up & Dance with DJ Gregarious
The Lovecraft
421 SE Grand Ave. Brickbat Mansion: DJs Curatrix, Wednesday
SaT. Jan. 5 CC Slaughters
219 NW Davis St. Revolution with DJ Robb
dig a Pony
Fri. Jan. 4 CC Slaughters
219 NW Davis St. Fetish Friday with DJ Jakob Jay
Fez Ballroom
316 SW 11th Ave.
736 SE Grand Ave. DJ Maxamillion
Fez Ballroom
316 SW 11th Ave. Popvideo with VJ Gigahurtz
GrizzLy viSionS: doorly plays holocene on Friday, Jan. 4.
page 38
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Willamette Week JANUARY 2, 2013 wweek.com
jan. 2–8
= WW Pick. Highly recommended. Most prices listed are for advance ticket sales. At-the-door increases and so-called convenience charges may apply, so it’s best to call ahead. Editor: REBECCA JACOBSON. Theater: REBECCA JACOBSON (rjacobson@ wweek.com). Classical: BRETT CAMPBELL (bcampbell@wweek.com). Dance: HEATHER WISNER (dance@wweek.com). TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit information at least two weeks in advance to: rjacobson@wweek.com.
THEATER
7:30 pm Friday, Dec. 21 and Saturdays through Jan. 12. $8-$10.
Arms and the Man
Brody Theater Open Mic
In the first minutes of George Bernard Shaw’s anti-militarism comedy, a Swiss mercenary named Bluntschli crashes through a stranger’s window after fleeing a battle in the Serbo-Bulgarian War. Sleep-deprived and grubby, he begs the room’s beautiful young Bulgarian occupant, Raina, to hide him. And upon learning he’s the sort of soldier who crams his pockets not with cartridges but with chocolates, she fortifies him with a box of chocolate creams. From there, Shaw, who was a pacifist and socialist, debunks not only romantic illusions of war, but also the hypocrisy of class differences, the immorality of keeping servants and the posturing xenophobia of patriotism. It’s a systematic, satirical takedown, stacked with biting one-liners. This Northwest Classical Theatre Company production, directed by Alana Byington, turns in numerous crowdpleasing moments. But Arms and the Man is a deceptively difficult play, requiring director and cast to balance frivolity, didacticism and irony, and it’s in this juggling act that the production sometimes stumbles. As Bluntschli, Jason Maniccia is appropriately levelheaded and practical. Other characters are more outsize, namely Sergius (Tom Mounsey), Raina’s blustery buffoon of a fiancé. Though Bluntschli is Shaw’s voice of reason, he gave Sergius many of the punchiest lines, both serious (“Soldiering, my dear madam, is the coward’s art of attacking mercilessly when you are strong, and keeping out of harm’s way when you are weak”) and droll (“I could no more fight with you than I could make love to an ugly woman”). But with a cast that walks a fine and sometimes clumsy line between naturalism and caricature, these lines feel more like Russell Stover candies than like fine Swiss chocolates: They might provide a quick kick of flavor, but the delight is unlikely to linger for long. REBECCA JACOBSON. Shoe Box Theater, 2110 SE 10th Ave., 971-244-3740. 7:30 pm Thursdays-Saturdays, 2 pm Sundays through Jan. 20. $18-$20.
The Book of Mormon
Holy smokes: Matt Parker and Trey Stone’s Broadway phenomenon makes Portland the fifth stop on its national tour. Performances sold out in minutes in October, but for those looking to test their luck, there will be a ticket lottery two and a half hours before each performance. Look for a review at wweek.com. Keller Auditorium, 222 SW Clay St., 800-745-3000. 7:30 pm Tuesday-Friday, 2 pm and 7:30 pm Saturday, 1 pm and 6:30 pm Sunday, Jan. 1-6. $40-$70.
Peter Pan
Northwest Children’s Theater heads off to Neverland with a musical version of J.M. Barrie’s pirate- and fairy-filled story. NW Neighborhood Cultural Center, 1819 NW Everett St., 222-4480. 7 pm Friday and 2 and 6 pm SaturdaySunday, Jan. 4-6. $13-$22.
Slipped in Between Things
Actors from Well Arts, which works with individuals with physical or mental illnesses, perform oral histories collected from low-income seniors. Portland Actors Conservatory, 1436 SW Montgomery St., 459-4500. 7:30 pm Fridays and 2 pm Saturdays through Jan. 11. $5-$10.
COMEDY & VARIETY Antiques Improv Show
Raid your closet: Brody’s improv artists build sketches from audience members’ antiques and oddities. Brody Theater, 16 NW Broadway, 224-2227.
Comedy/variety open mic. Performers can sign up online. Brody Theater, 16 NW Broadway, 224-2227. 9:30 pm Wednesdays. Free with minimum purchase of one item.
ComedySportz
Family-friendly competitive improv comedy. ComedySportz Arena, 1963 NW Kearney St., 236-8888. 8 pm every Friday and Saturday. $15.
Diabolical Experiments
Improv jam show featuring Brody performers and other local improvisers. Brody Theater, 16 NW Broadway, 2242227. 7 pm Sunday, Jan. 6. $5.
Dom-Prov
If your idea of fun is playing improv games with a leather-clad dominatrix as an audience hurls marshmallows at you, this Unscriptables show is for you. Funhouse Lounge, 2432 SE 11th Ave., 309-3723. 10 pm Saturdays through April 27. $10.
Fly-Ass Jokes
Stand-up comedy showcase, with local and visiting comics. Brody Theater, 16 NW Broadway, 224-2227. 9:30 pm Friday, Jan. 4. $8.
Friday Night Fights
Two improv teams battle for stage time. Curious Comedy, 5225 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 477-9477. 10 pm every Friday. $5.
Micetro
Brody Theater’s popular elimination-style improv competition. Brody Theater, 16 NW Broadway, 224-2227. 8 pm Fridays. $8-$10.
Mike Epps
forms one of his specialties, the music of Rachmaninoff, as well as works by another Russian composer, Modest Mussorgsky, including the original solo version of his famous Pictures at an Exhibition. Newmark Theatre, 1111 SW Broadway, 228-1388. 4 pm Sunday, Jan. 6. $14-$61.
Mitchell Vines, Martin Hebert, Carin Miller Packwood
In this Chamber Music Tolovana concert, pianist Vines joins Oregon Symphony bassoonist Packwood and oboist Hebert to play an excellent program of music by Francis Poulenc, Vivaldi, Saint-Saëns and contemporary Louisville-based composer Marc Satterwhite. Coaster Theatre, 108 N Hemlock St., Cannon Beach, 368-7222. 7:30 pm Friday, Jan. 4. $15-$20.
Oregon Symphony, Pacific Youth Choir
Benjamin Britten’s Young Person’s Guide to the Orchestra, the “Children’s March” from Bizet’s opera Carmen and more will be heard. But there’s more than music afoot when Inspector Crescendo tries to solve “The Riddle of the Music Case,” and the orchestra members are among the suspects. Pam Mahon stars and narrates, while Portland Youth Philharmonic music director David Hattner conducts the grownups and Mia Hall Savage conducts the kid singers in this children’s concert and mystery designed for audiences ages 5 through 10. Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, 1037 SW Broadway, 228-1353. 2 pm Sunday, Jan. 6. $10-$37.
DANCE Being Moved
Choreographer Meshi Chavez presents an evening of butoh-inspired solo performances that interrogates life as both friend and foe. Alicia Ankenman, Stephanie Lanckton, Andy Houseman and Sara Alizadeh perform Friday night; Saturday’s show features Zan Tewksbury, Chris Larsen, Joe McLaughlin and Lanie Bergie. Musical accompaniment by Lisa DeGrace, Adrian Hutapea and Roldan Toledo. The Headwaters, 55 NE Farragut St., 289-3499. 7:30 pm Friday-Saturday, Jan. 4-5. $15 for one night; $22 for both.
Stand-up from the comedian and rapper best known for his appearances in Next Friday, Friday After Next and The Hangover. Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9th Ave., 888-643-8669. 7 and 10 pm Friday-Saturday, 7 and 9:30 pm Sunday, Jan. 4-6. $27-$35.
Burlesque S’il Vous Plait
Peachy Chicken
New Orleans-based burlesque dancer Hazel Mae joins a lineup of Portland peelers that includes Babs Jamboree, Sandria Doré and Sofia Flash. The Lovecraft, 421 SE Grand Ave., 971-2707760. 9:30 pm Tuesday, Jan. 8. $5.
Improv comedy from Peachy Chicken, with special guest Brad Fortier and an opening performance by Fickle Alice. Village Ballroom, 700 NE Dekum St., 505-9733. 8 pm Fridays-Saturdays through Jan. 19. $10.
Pipes: An Improvised Musical
Comedic improv, set to song. Curious Comedy, 5225 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 477-9477. 8 pm Friday, Jan. 4. $12-$15.
The Uninvited: Tennessee Williams with Zombies
Because Tennessee Williams’ portrait of the American South just wasn’t rich enough for the Unscriptables, the improv-comedy group spices things up with zombies in this episodic show. Funhouse Lounge, 2432 SE 11th Ave., 309-3723. 8 pm Saturdays through Feb. 16. “Pay what you will,” $10 suggested.
CLASSICAL Alessio Bax
Already the recipient of a prestigious Avery Fisher Career Grant, winner of major competitions and soloist on several acclaimed recordings, the busy 35-year-old Italian pianist (now based in New York) has won critical raves for both his solo and orchestra performances, including one coming up with the Eugene Symphony. In this Portland Piano International recital, Bax per-
PREVIEW PAT R I C K W E I S H A M P E L
PERFORMANCE
Monthly burlesque show features rotating cast of performers. Crush, 1400 SE Morrison St., 235-8150. 8:30 pm first Fridays of the month. $7.
sPoon-fed: Rob nagle plays James Beard in I Love to Eat.
COMING SOON TO A THEATER NEAR YOU Upcoming shows we’re excited to see.
The obligatory holiday productions have taken their final curtain calls, and Portland theaters can return to what they do best: distracting us from our city’s slobbery weather. The following productions may not warm your heart—there are a few brutes in here—but they might just help you make it to June. REBECCA JACOBSON. I Love to Eat, Portland Center Stage, Jan. 8-Feb. 3 James Beard was Portland’s Julia Child, and this one-man show by James Still invites audiences into the kitchen of the eccentric gourmand. Donning Beard’s toque is Rob Nagle, a Los Angeles actor known for both powerful and irreverent performances. Fertile Ground Festival, Jan. 24-Feb. 3 A 10-day spree of new works. Look for an extended preview Jan. 24. The Velvet Sky, Theatre Vertigo, Feb. 15-March 16 Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa’s phantasmagorical fairy tale should be a good fit for Theatre Vertigo, which does well colliding the volatile and the comic. The play follows a sleepless mother who is haunted by a malevolent Sandman as she searches for her missing son. Three Days of Rain, Defunkt Theatre, Feb. 15-March 23 Richard Greenberg’s Pulitzer-nominated drama, about a troubled son investigating the life of his father, is structurally bifurcated and emotionally complex. Provided director Tom Moorman doesn’t cast Julia Roberts—she starred in a lackluster 2006 Broadway production— expect a strong, sharp showing from Defunkt.
Burlynomicon
Blood Knot, Profile Theatre, Feb. 27-March 17 As much as I’m looking forward to the directorial debut of Adriana Baer, Profile’s new artistic director (she helms The Road to Mecca, opening Jan. 9), it’s Blood Knot that sparks greater excitement. The 1961 play set the foundation for Athol Fugard’s career, and it’s an unblinking and impassioned look at apartheid in South Africa.
First Friday Irish Music and Folk Dance
In the Next Room (or the vibrator play), Triangle Productions, March 7-31 Before Hysteria winked at Victorian-era gynecological therapy, Sarah Ruhl did it more successfully. Triangle can be campy, so here’s hoping the company shows restraint with Ruhl’s smart, compassionate play.
Learn Irish folk dance in a familyfriendly setting; Sam Keator calls, and no experience or partner are necessary. Felim Egan, Erik Killops and Teresa Baker provide live music, and all ages are welcome. Winona Grange No. 271, 8340 SW Seneca St., Tualatin, 6912078. 7:30 pm lesson, dance 8-11 pm Friday, Jan. 4. $8-$10.
Portland Metro Arts Choreographers’ Showcase
Portland Metro Arts is taking requests from novice as well as experienced choreographers to present work at a PMA showcase. Requests will be accepted through Jan. 20. The goal is to give dancemakers of all ages and experience levels an informal forum in which to stage new work and works in progress in front of an audience. Choregraphers can submit requests to Nancy Yeamans at 503-408-0604 or email them to info@PDXMetroArts. org. Portland Metro Performing Arts, 9003 SE Stark St., Tualatin, 408-0604. Requests accepted through Sunday, Jan. 20; concert at 7 pm Saturday, Jan. 26. Free, donations accepted.
For more Performance listings, visit
The Invisible Hand, Artists Repertory Theatre, March 26-April 28 An Adam Smith reference might not get anyone’s blood racing, but Ayad Akhtar’s play mixes market trading with Islamic terrorism to produce a savvy and politically astute thriller. The Left Hand of Darkness, Portland Playhouse, May 2-June 2 Hands down Portland’s most exciting artistic convergence in recent memory: Ambitious and energetic Portland Playhouse teams up with ever-imaginative Hand2Mouth to adapt Ursula K. Le Guin’s landmark sci-fi novel, which mines themes of gender and sexual politics. Crooked, CoHo Productions, May 16-June 8 After this fall’s affecting Body Awareness, CoHo seems well-placed for another small play that still prods big themes. Catherine Trieschmann’s drama digs into domestic dynamics and the discomfort of adolescence. A Bright New Boise, Third Rail Repertory Theatre, May 31-June 23 Samuel D. Hunter’s Obie-winning dark comedy punches at the bleaker sides of faith and small-town life. This is Hunter’s first play to be staged locally, and the all-star cast—Andy Lee-Hillstrom, Jacklyn Maddux, Chris Murray, Kerry Ryan and Tim True—promises a wallop. Willamette Week JANUARY 2, 2013 wweek.com
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VISUAL ARTS
JAN. 2–8
= WW Pick. Highly recommended. By RICHARD SPEER. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit show information—including opening and closing dates, gallery address and phone number—at least two weeks in advance to: Visual Arts, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: rspeer@wweek.com.
PG. 18
The Body Beautiful in Ancient Greece
Although The Body Beautiful is a traveling show that originated at the British Museum in London, its Portland installment admirably cross-pollinates with Northwest artists and arts organizations. This celebration of Classical statuary, vases and other artifacts partnered with Seattle sculptor and conceptual artist John Grade (winner of the Arlene Schnitzer Prize at 2011’s Contemporary Northwest Art Awards) and Oregon Ballet Theater. The result was a moving dance performance in October entitled Ekho. Choreographed by Christopher Stowell, it wove the myth of Narcissus into a homoerotic pas de deux, with two male dancers mirroring one another’s movements as if glimpsing one another on the glassy surface of a lake. Grade’s fabricbased sculptural set pieces exemplified a cross-disciplinary spirit all too rare in the Northwest art scene. Let’s hope these and similar endeavors continue. Through Jan. 6. Portland Art Museum, 1219 SW Park Ave., 226-0973.
The Faux Masters
SAMARKAND STITCHES I BY ROBERT RAUSCHENBERG
Aqua
Wednesday, January 2 • 9pm
RocknRoll Movie Night Hedwig & The Angry Inch FREE!
Friday, January 4 • 9pm Talkative • No More Parachutes Soccer Babes • Cowboy + Statue Saturday, January 5 • 4:30pm Hangover Fest • Pageripper Danger Death Ray • 48 Thrills Fools Rush • Nasalrod Steven Cole Smith • Jefferson Death Star Slatwall • Ol’ Doris • Brigadier Tuesday, January 8
SIN Tuesdays Drink specials from 9 to midnight for OLCC card carriers, cabbies, Tri-Met workers, and shirtless firefighters.
Tuesday, January 8 • 9pm
Name That Song A Game show where contestants win prizes by naming classic rock and punk songs after only hearing a snippet of guitar solo.Think you know yr 80s buttrock and classic rock tunes? Can you tell the difference between the 17 different Agent Orange instrumentals and their guitar licks? Wanna win some money? Contact Doug at slabtownpdx@gmail.com to become a contestant...
Within Spitting Distance of The Pearl
1033 NW 16th Ave. 971.229.1455 Everyday Noon - 2:30am
Happy Hour Mon - Fri noon-7pm • Sat - Sun 3-7pm Pop-A-Shot • Pinball Skee-ball • Air Hockey • Free Wi-Fi 30
Willamette Week JANUARY 2, 2013 wweek.com
Margaret Evangeline is best known for taking rifles and shotguns to a firing range, aiming them at powder-coated metal panels, and riddling the panels with bullet holes. Although these visually and conceptually dramatic pieces put her on the map, it’s a lesser-known body of work that will be exhibited in this show: mixed-media watercolors. It will be intriguing to see whether they can approach the theatrical intensity of the gunshot works. Also appearing in the group exhibition are artists Mariella Bisson, David Geiser, Anne Raymond, Rick Stare and David Price. Jan. 3-Feb. 2. Butters Gallery, 520 NW Davis St., 2nd floor, 248-9378.
Brigitte Dortmund
With their bubblegum palette, thick impasto, and pod-like organic shapes, Brigitte Dortmund’s paintings are stylistically unmistakable. In her newest body of work, she begins to edge away from the vegetal world, her surfaces increasingly expressing saturated hues and extravagant surfaces without recourse to representational subject matter. As such, they occupy a visual space seemingly at the intersection of abstract expressionism and color-field painting. It’s a fresh and agreeable development that exploits Dortmund’s strongest gifts as an artist. Through Jan. 11. Mark Woolley Gallery @ Pioneer, 700 SW 5th Ave., third floor, Pioneer Place Mall, 998-4152.
Gwenn Seemel: Crime Against Nature
Portraitist Gwenn Seemel turns her attention to the animal kingdom in the exhibition Crime Against Nature and draws whimsical but politically relevant parallels between animal and human sexuality. She offers up a picture of a genderqueer biosphere populated by promiscuous squirrels, infertile camels, lactating male bats, lesbian dolphins, bisexual bonobos and an array of other freak-flag-flying beasts of surf and turf. As fun as the imagery may be, the show powerfully rebuts right-wingers who point to the animal kingdom as “proof” that sex in nature is uniformly vanilla. Through Jan. 12. Place
Gallery, 700 SW 5th Ave., third floor, Pioneer Place Mall.
Nancy Abens: Curiosity Envisioned
Two years ago, when photographer Nancy Abens plunged her digital camera into tidal pools off the coast of Mexico, she discovered an eerie world of exotic-looking sea creatures and plant life. Since then, she has created a body of work that focuses on natural history: specifically birds, insects and shells. Although her subject matter is organic, many of her prints, especially those dealing with geological phenomena, flirt with geometric abstraction, thanks to an assured sense of composition. Jan. 4-Feb. 23. I Witness Gallery Northwest Center for Photography, 1028 SE Water Ave., Suite 50, 384-2783.
Richard Schemmerer: Dream, Inc.— Awakening From the American Dream Using painting, sculpture, and collage, artist Richard Schemmerer takes on the well-worn theme of the American Dream. Cock Gallery founder Paul Soriano has curated this selection of works from Schemmerer’s prolific output. The artist’s paintings typically coalesce around geometric abstraction, and his collages update a problematic medium with genuine flair and originality. But can he find new inspiration in such a general, hackneyed theme as the American Dream? Watch this space in coming weeks for a capsule or full review. Jan. 3-Feb. 2. Cock Gallery, 625 NW Everett St., No. 106, 552-8686.
Robert Rauschenberg and Christopher Rauschenberg
In Hollywood, this is what you call dream casting. To mount a show featuring the late, great artist Robert Rauschenberg and his son, Portland-based photographer Christopher Rauschenberg, is a formidable, delicious challenge, which Elizabeth Leach and her team must surely have relished. The late Rauschenberg’s mixed-media prints will rub elbows with photographer Rauschenberg’s travelogue tableaux of a recent visit to St. Petersburg, Russia. This is a January mustsee. Jan. 3-Feb. 2. Elizabeth Leach Gallery, 417 NW 9th Ave., 224-0521.
This quirky Old Town art space and curiosity shop, next door to Graeter Art Gallery, offers up a wide-ranging group show for November and December. Among the artists featured in The Faux Masters are internationally known journalist and graphic novelist Joe Sacco, Oregon Biennial alumna Melody Owen, ducttape artist Mona Superhero and 10 other locally and nationally based artists who work across a range of media. With its wide-ranging scope, this exhibition may be the key viewers need to decode this gallery’s willfully inscrutable programming. Through Jan. 3. The Faux Museum, 139 NW 2nd Ave.
Vanitas
Curator Michael Endo has long held an interest in the “vanitas” genre of 17th-century still-life painting, which used motifs such as skulls and botanicals as memento mori. As an artist, Endo has explored these motifs in his paintings. Now, as a curator at Bullseye, he calls upon five other artists to offer takes on the transience of human life: Shannon Brunskill, June Kingsbury, Catharine Newell, Marc Petrovic and Michael Rogers. All five use glass as a material. It’s an intriguing medium for this theme, since glass, like life itself, can seem strong, sturdy and limitless in potential—until the instant it shatters. Jan. 2-March 2. Bullseye Gallery, 300 NW 13th Ave., 227-0222.
Winter Group Exhibit
Group shows typically pop up around the holidays, and often they seem like arbitrary conglomerations of unrelated parts. But Froelick’s holiday group show has the feel of a bona fide “best of the best” lineup. It’s easy to take this gallery’s stable for granted, thanks to reliably engaging programming and owner Charles Froelick’s easygoing manner. But when, as in this show, you see works by artists as diverse as Rick Bartow (archetypal imagery influenced by Native traditions), Victor Maldonado (politically charged installations and mixed media), and Laura Ross-Paul (sumptuous, symbolism-encoded paintings), you realize just how lucky we are to have this gallery in our midst, year after year. Through Feb. 2. Froelick Gallery, 714 NW Davis St., 222-1142.
For more Visual Arts listings, visit
BOOKS
jan. 2–8
= WW Pick. Highly recommended. By PENELOPE BASS. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit lecture or reading information at least two weeks in advance to: WORDS, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: words@wweek.com. Fax: 243-1115.
anyone feels worthy to take the stage after these two ladies, an open mic will follow. Milepost 5, 850 NE 81st Ave., 729-3223. 7 pm. Free.
David Von Drehle
WEDNESDAY, JAN. 2
TUESDAY, JAN. 8
Lessons From Lincoln
Readings and Open Mic
Lincoln is so hot right now. After more than 150 years, the Great Emancipator is still teaching us lessons. Join Oregon Humanities for its ongoing Conversation Project, aiming to connect the public with scholars presenting provocative ideas, for the lecture Lessons From Lincoln: Is Political Bipartisanship Possible? presented by Richard Etulain. Sorry, Daniel Day Lewis will not make an appearance. Tualatin Heritage Center, 8700 SW Sweek Drive, 691-1177. 1 pm. Free.
SUNDAY, JAN. 6 Romance Author Panel
Cashing in on the success of Downton Abbey, Summerset Abbey is the first in a new book series by T.J. Brown, following two sisters and their maid as they struggle through rigid class divisions. Joining Brown in a reading and panel discussion will be fellow romance authors Delilah Marvelle (Forever a Lord), Elizabeth Boyle (Along Came a Duke) and Laura Lee Guhrke (Trouble at the Wedding) to discuss Edwardian historical fiction. Powell’s Books at Cedar Hills Crossing, 3415 SW Cedar Hills Blvd., Beaverton, 228-4651. 5 pm. Free.
Ursula K. Le Guin
Gathering the best short stories by Ursula K. Le Guin in a two-volume collection, The Unreal and the Real highlights the sharp, satirical voice of the celebrated writer. Volume one, Where on Earth, includes Le Guin’s political and experimental earthbound stories, while volume two, Outer Space, Inner Lands, includes her fantastical tales. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 228-4651. 7:30 pm. Free.
MONDAY, JAN. 7 OMSI Science Pub
Can you really blame your jerk tendencies on your jerk parents? Or maybe it’s in your jerk genes? OHSU biology and neuroscience professor Larry Sherman will explore the oft-explored idea of genetics versus environment with a story about his own family in the lecture Nature vs. Nurture: A Story of Adoption, Reunion, Neuroscience and Shock Therapy. Bagdad Theater, 3702 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 236-9234. 7 pm. $5 suggested donation.
Authors in Pubs
Armed with their personal writing and a little liquid courage, a dozen local writers will take the stage for the monthly Authors in Pubs reading series. The featured author this month is Jennifer Willis, along with special work by guest artist Tara Williams and music by the Consort Symbiotic. Jack London Bar, 529 SW 4th Ave., 228-7605. 7 pm. Free. 21+.
Brave on the Page Author Reading
Serving as a reference book for writers, the locally produced, collaborative collection Brave on the Page features essays and musings from 42 Oregon writers on every topic from book-tour anecdotes to dealing with rejection. The Powell’s Pearl Room event will feature readings from 10 of the included authors as well as a panel discussion on the creative process. Go ahead, get inspired. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 228-4651. 7:30 pm. Free.
Dena Rash Guzman is the founding editor of the literary journal Unshod Quills as well as the producer and curator of Portland reading series Unchaste Readers. This year she released the debut collection of her writing, Life Cycle. Joining her will be poet Emily Pittman Newberry (Butterfly a Rose), who has long explored the human condition in her writing and own role as a transgendered woman growing up in the Midwest after World War II. If
Fuck off, Justin Bieber. This year it’s all about Lincoln. David Von Drehle’s new, intimate portrait of the president explores a country on the brink of governmental collapse and the judgment of an unschooled lawyer that brought it back. Rise to Greatness: Abraham Lincoln and America’s Most Perilous Year should satisfy your Lincoln cravings for now. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 228-4651. 7:30 pm. Free.
For more Books listings, visit
REVIEW
NICOLE J. GEORGES, CALLING DR. LAURA Zinester and pet portraitist Nicole J. Georges has juicy secrets. The knowing-yourmother’s-lying-to-you kind. The living-queer-but-keepingyour-family-in-the-closet kind. She’s shared some of these in her previous zine an ambitious memoir from series, Invincible Summer, but a twee local zinester. it’s Calling Dr. Laura (Mariner, 288 pages, $16.95), her graphic memoir-cum-confessional that plays off tales from both her childhood and adulthood against one another in a masterful display of what’s hidden in the everyday. The memoir follows Georges across Portland to parts east, from a revealing visit to a palm reader, to moving in with a longterm lover and her army of dachshunds, to returning to her erratic mother’s Midwestern home. Georges’ half-sister confirms the fortune teller’s assertion that Georges’ father is not dead but a deadbeat crook. Georges must face the fact her mother has been lying to her for years and Georges herself has been lying about her sexuality. The title is a little misleading. Dr. Laura’s cameo is that of a right-wing foil, an anonymous sounding board for Georges’ feelings when she calls in to the radio show, and comic relief when she is compared to the wife from the ’90s TV series Dinosaurs. Therapy is a major theme here, and a well-worn one. Thousands of works, from Analyze This to F. Scott Fitzgerald’s final completed novel, Tender Is the Night, have explored it, but Calling Dr. Laura escapes redundancy through hilarious detail. Georges waves goodbye to her newlywed mother, flying “Sandals Air” for her honeymoon. Demure, midconversation yawns and canine portraits lining the walls break through the meditative haze and noir plot lines. At each new scene, a sweeping banner with a cursive phrase such as, “Have you heard the oldest lesbian joke in the book?” keep the tone pensive but lighthearted. Georges has forgone Invincible Summer’s wobbly frames and refined them into a neater, less chaotic form. Also lost are the long blocks of text, making Calling Dr. Laura easily digestible while leaving imagery to uncover on a reread. The full-page illustrations give Georges’ modernist, etched aesthetic room to stretch out. The expansive gray walls and cityscapes are often interrupted by the stark white of flowing music balloons or a hoodie. Though the oldest lesbian joke in the book has been told, and a book related to therapy is enough to drive anyone mad, Calling Dr. Laura succeeds in being both an honest self-portrait and a beautiful, engaging creation. MITCH LILLIE. GO: Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., is hosting a First Thursday event featuring Nicole J. Georges’ work at 6:30 pm on Jan. 3. Georges will read at Powell’s at 7:30 pm Tuesday, Jan. 22.
FOOD & DRINK
reviews, events & gut reactions Page 20 Willamette Week JANUARY 2, 2013 wweek.com
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jan. 2–8 REVIEW
= WW Pick. Highly recommended.
JOSE HARO
MOVIES
Editor: REBECCA JACOBSON. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, send screening information at least two weeks in advance to Screen, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: rjacobson@wweek.com. Fax: 243-1115.
All Quiet on the Western Front
[TWO DAYS ONLY, REVIVAL] A new restoration of Lewis Milestone’s World War I classic, winner of the Oscar for Best Picture in 1930. NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium. 7 pm Saturday and 4 pm Sunday, Jan 5-6.
All Together
B- [ONE WEEK ONLY] Niceties first:
This is Jane Fonda’s first French-film appearance since Jean-Luc Godard’s Tout Va Bien in 1972, back when she was entrenched in the Marxist activism of that period. Fitting, then, that her next turn on the continent should be in a crowd of elderly ex-activists trying and failing to recapture the vibrancy of their ’68er years by living together, commune-style, in a palatial manse. The heart of the movie is nonetheless the fear not of dying but of living, of the long years of failing hearts and minds, of no longer being desired. But, whoa, that’s a heavy pill to swallow without Alzheimer’s and Viagra jokes and a wide-eyed, young straight man. So, in they go. But the anemic comedy barely disguises the true sadness and anxiety beneath the film’s surface— the actors seem intent on stealing the movie from the writers. Most telling is a scene in which an old affair is discovered: The rage of the cuckold is impotent, because he is too tired and too afraid of being alone. This is an uneven film, unsure of itself and prone to embarrassing caricature, but every now and then a naked, vulnerable truth is revealed. It’s worth the occasional tedium, perhaps, just for the lovely and mournful closing scene. MATTHEW KORFHAGE. Clinton Street Theater. 8 pm Friday-Wednesday, Jan. 4-9.
Any Day Now
B- As far as weepies go, Any Day
Now does its damnedest to drain as much salty juice from your tear ducts as possible. The fairly soapy plot— gay couple in 1979 fights for custody of disabled teenage boy—could prompt waterworks without much additional urging. But writer-director Travis Fine’s cliché-ridden screenplay and fondness for close-ups of Alan Cumming’s pliable face, alternately beaming and misty-eyed, do in this well-meaning film. Cumming plays Rudy Donatello, a lip-synching drag queen in West Hollywood who meets freshly out-of-the-closet lawyer Paul Fleiger (an understated Garret Dillahunt). When Rudy’s drugaddicted neighbor gets picked up on a possession charge, he swoops in to save her 14-year-old son, Marco (Isaac Leyva), who has Down syndrome and whose favorite toy is a blond doll (this will, predictably, play out poorly in court). Though inspired by a true story, Rudy and Paul’s relationship— along with their fierce devotion to Marco—develops too quickly to feel wholly plausible. The leads (Cumming in particular) do their best with sorely underwritten characters, but rather than casting fresh light on the era’s institutionalized homophobia, Any Day Now gets stuck in the sap of treacle and tears. R. REBECCA JACOBSON. Living Room Theaters.
The Birds
[TWO DAYS ONLY, REVIVAL] Perhaps the most chilling part of Alfred Hitchcock’s 1963 thriller is that for the final attack scene, the Master of Suspense skipped the mechanical birds: Those are real gulls and ravens Tippi Hedren fights off. PG-13. NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium. 7 pm Friday and 2:30 pm Saturday, Jan. 4-5.
The Black Cat
[TWO DAYS ONLY, REVIVAL] Edgar G. Ulmer’s 1934 horror film, about a honeymoon gone terribly wrong, was the first to pair Bela Lugosi and Boris Karloff. NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium. 5 pm Saturday and 7:15 pm Sunday, Jan. 5-6.
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B-Movie Bingo: Revenge of the Ninja
[ONE NIGHT ONLY, REVIVAL, GAMES] Spot the clichés in this 1983 flick about ninja assassins, antique geisha dolls and heroin traffickers. R. Hollywood Theatre. 7 pm Tuesday, Jan. 8.
Cirque du Soleil: Worlds Away
Impossibly flexible acrobats, rendered in 3-D. Not screened for critics. PG. Lloyd Mall, Movies on TV.
Django Unchained
B- Give Quentin Tarantino this much: He’s got balls. Imagine entering a meeting with a major studio and pitching a relentlessly violent, big-budget revenge fantasy about an escaped slave in the pre-Civil War South who slaughters his way through Confederate plantation owners in search of his wife. If nothing else, Django Unchained has audacity going for it. But it raises a question that, ultimately, makes it tough to enjoy: When dredging up the ugliest period of American history for the sake of entertainment, is being cool enough? Because Django Unchained is exceptionally cool. A mashed-up spaghetti Western and blaxploitation flick, it is the kind of kinetic pastiche job that’s made Tarantino a genre unto himself. It’s got tight, crackling dialogue, and three actors who revel in delivering it. It’s got a handful of images— such as a close-up of a slave owner’s blood misting across cotton bolls—that are among the best in the director’s oeuvre. It’s got original music by both Ennio Morricone and Rick Ross, and a slow-motion shootout set to a posthumous collaboration between Tupac and James Brown. Why, then, did I leave the theater feeling not exhilarated but empty? Django Unchained trivializes an atrocity, and that makes it hard to digest as fun, frivolous popcorn. Tarantino has taken it upon himself to offer an extreme form of catharsis for immense suffering, but the movie’s blood lust contains little trace of actual empathy. Its staggering runtime—two hours and 45 minutes— is earned only by its three lead actors. As the sociopath-cum-abolitionist Dr. King Schultz, Christoph Waltz makes Tarantino’s words sing. Jamie Foxx finds a captivating stoicism as Django. And Leonardo DiCaprio, playing a psychotic cloaked in Southern gentility, bites down with rotted teeth into a role of slimy, slithering, utterly unsubtle evil. With Django Unchained, Tarantino has made another monument of cinematic cool. But has he made a responsible film? And does it matter? That, it turns out, is the biggest question of all. R. MATTHEW SINGER. Lloyd Center, Cinema 99, Division, Evergreen Parkway, Hilltop, Movies on TV, Tigard, Wilsonville.
Getting to Know You(Tube)
[ONE NIGHT ONLY] A guided tour through the depths of YouTube. ZOMG! BABY ANIMALS! Hollywood Theatre. 7 pm Monday, Jan. 7.
The Guilt Trip
B Seth Rogen has spent much of the past five years trying to come out from under the long shadow of his mentor, Judd Apatow. But only recently has the Canadian actor become truly successful, via a restrained dramatic turn in Sarah Polley’s Take This Waltz, and now in The Guilt Trip, a sweet trifle of a road picture/buddy comedy. The small twist on the formula is that these adventurers are a mother and son. Here, Rogen takes his loving but overbearing mom (a charming, dowdy Barbra Streisand) along for a crosscountry ride as he attempts to sell an all-natural cleaning product. The catch is Rogen’s other agenda to reconnect Streisand with a long-lost love. Beyond that, the film sticks close to convention: Tension arises, secrets get revealed, lessons are learned, and a montage or two fly by. The Guilt Trip is
Willamette Week JANUARY 2, 2013 wweek.com
#FIRSTWORLDPROBLEmS: A tsunami spoils Tom Holland and Naomi Watts’ vacation.
MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE AS A DISASTER DRAMA, THE IMPOSSIBLE IMPRESSES. BUT ITS MORALS ARE SWAMPED. BY ReB ecca jacoB son
rjacobson@wweek.com
It’s always tricky to criticize a film for what it fails to depict rather than for what it actually captures. But in The Impossible, the omission is so glaring that to disregard it would be to commit a similarly shortsighted act of complacency. Juan Antonio Bayona’s film centers on the 2004 tsunami that ravaged much of Southeast Asia, killing 230,000 people. But while that horrific natural disaster creates the film’s tension and provides the backdrop, The Impossible is less a tale of cataclysmic human and environmental devastation than a troublingly narrow narrative about one white, privileged, European family whose vacation is spoiled by a crushing wall of water. That’s not to diminish the family’s genuinely brutal and harrowing story. But in so doggedly focusing on the trials of the tourists, Bayona relegates the locals—whose lives were also upended by the tsunami, and who weren’t able to hop a jet to Singapore—to window dressing. As a disaster drama, The Impossible is immersive and at points extraordinary. After some brief exposition, during which Bayona provides shots of the tauntingly still sea, the tsunami arrives, crashing and swirling so violently that I was relieved the action wasn’t rendered in 3-D. (That fit a simplistic, slack-jawed fable like Life of Pi; here it would have felt vulgar.) The family of five, who minutes prior had been exchanging Christmas gifts and uninspired dialogue, is swept up in the surging water. We witness the mother, Maria (a persuasive Naomi Watts), receive a particularly vicious thrashing, spun as if in a blender and then flayed to the bone by debris. These 10 minutes are visceral, relentless and punishing to watch, abetted by impressive yet aggressive sound design. Bayona keeps us in his grip for a good while afterward, as Maria reunites with 12-year-old Lucas, the family’s oldest son (Tom Holland). This becomes something of a loss-of-innocence story: Maria has been badly injured, and Lucas must witness her anguish and then quickly grow up in order
to help her. Bayona seems to think that lingering over dirty wounds and bloody flaps of skin can make up for Sergio G. Sánchez’s thin screenplay, but he’s fortunate to have Holland and Watts, who both give gritty, heartfelt performances. But the dramatic pull grows a bit sluggish when Bayona turns his attention to Maria’s husband (Ewan McGregor), who has withstood the tsunami with the couple’s two younger sons. Though convincingly distressed, McGregor is given little more to do than stumble through rubble while hollering for his wife. As the drama develops, not only does The Impossible hammer at your tear ducts, but its
AS THE DRAMA DEVELOPS, THE IMPoSSIBLE HAMMERS AT YOUR TEAR DUCTS AND ITS ETHICS GROW MURKY. ethics grow murky. Few locals appear in the film, illustrated well by a scene at an overrun hospital, in which the camera quickly and inexplicably pans from wailing white tourists to a truck full of singing Thai children. Are they happy? Are they attempting to cheer up the downtrodden? Should we be impressed by their endurance? Or appalled they’re not rushing to assist the injured Europeans? But Bayona’s camera doesn’t linger, and he quickly cuts back to the frantic foreigners. The Impossible keeps reminding us that this is a “true story,” with those words appearing twice in the title credits. Never mind that the actual family was Spanish—it was probably determined that wan, English-speaking actors would probably generate more box-office activity. But did we need any “true story” of this colossal tragedy adapted for the big screen, least of all one of a lavish vacation gone wrong? Bayona did not need to make a by-the-book docudrama or fill the screen with suffering Asians, but in putting such devastation on the screen, he allowed sap and irresponsible flights of sensationalism to trump sensitivity. C SEE IT: The Impossible is rated R. It opens Friday at Bridgeport Village.
jan. 2–8
MOVIES MuSIC BOx FILMS
cinematic comfort food given some substance by the charming chemistry of its leads and a genuinely heartfelt, affecting interest in strong family bonds. Both should secure this film’s success on the overstuffed holiday film calendar. PG-13. ROBERT HAM. Cinema 99, Division, Evergreen Parkway, Hilltop, Movies on TV, Wilsonville.
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
B+ By the time Peter Jackson wrapped his sterling Lord of the Rings trilogy, audiences had spent nearly 12 hours in Middle Earth, marveling at the dense cinematic landscape. It was only a matter of time before J.R.R. Tolkien’s even more popular—and considerably lighter— novel The Hobbit hit the screen. Yet anyone expecting another LOTR installment or, even worse, The Phantom Hobbit, will be bowled over by the spectacle Jackson has produced. The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey takes his penchant for sprawling panoramic views, largescale melees and lingering shots of small men gazing into the distance and distills it through the eyes of young Bilbo Baggins (Martin Freeman), prodded into adventure by the wizard Gandalf (a returning Ian McKellen, clearly enjoying himself). The mission: join a group of dwarves led by fallen king Thorin (a gruff Richard Armitage) to reclaim their mountain kingdom and its treasures from a gigantic dragon. “All good stories deserve embellishment,” Gandalf tells Bilbo, and it’s safe to say the film delivers in a tall-tale sense, from a game of wits with snarling cockney trolls to the infamous “Riddles in the Dark” sequence with a never-more-frightening Gollum (motion-captured by Andy Serkis to perfection). After a slow and decidedly kiddie start, The Hobbit moves at the lightning pace of a chase movie intercut with stellar mini-adventures involving orcs astride wolves, gigantic spiders, soaring eagles and reanimated kings. It’s all anchored firmly by Freeman’s assured performance, which exudes charm and childlike fear. From the little man’s perspective, it all seems new again. PG-13. AP KRYZA. Cinema 99, Division, Evergreen Parkway, Hilltop, Lloyd Mall, Movies on TV, Pioneer Place, Tigard, Wilsonville.
Jack Reacher
B- In the opening of this impeccably timed Tom Cruise vehicle, a sniper in Pittsburgh guns down five apparently random people. Detective Emerson (David Oyelowo) finds a wealth of evidence to convict a former soldier, James Barr (Joseph Sikora). But instead of pleading guilty, Barr scrawls a cryptic note: “Get Jack Reacher.” Reacher (Cruise) is a military cop-turned-drifter. The character, created by author Lee Childs, was born out of pulp: intimidating, 6-foot-5 and blond, and preternaturally gifted in investigation, krav maga, marksmanship and general ass-kicking. But at some point in the casting process, writer-director Christopher McQuarrie must have said, “Fuck it, let’s just get Tom Cruise.” When Reacher shows up in the Steel City, he finds himself appointed the lead investigator by Barr’s defense attorney (Rosamund Pike, reduced to little more than looking sexy and growing aroused as Reacher unravels the mysteries of the case). Jack Reacher has some serious moments, including some gruesome hand-to-hand combat, but it also has a sense of humor about itself. This is a movie with a high-speed car chase between cop cars and modern sedans in which Cruise inexplicably drives a ’70s muscle car. The brutal Russian mob is kept in line by the iron fist of an aging former Siberian prisoner (Werner Herzog) with a pronounced German accent and gnawed-off fingers. There are two ways to approach this film: either as a ludicrous vanity picture for an over-the-hill movie star with a serious Napoleon complex, or a
ANY DAY NOW work of high camp. You may expect the former, but be prepared to cackle at the latter. PG-13. JOHN LOCANTHI. Lloyd Center, Cinema 99, Division, Evergreen Parkway, Hilltop, Movies on TV, Pioneer Place, Tigard, Wilsonville.
Les Misérables
D Tom Hooper’s Les Misérables lives up to its name. With the exception of about 10 minutes, the nearly three-hour film is an endless wallow in the fields of squalor, filth, chancre and herpes. Derived from Victor Hugo’s humanitarian novel, already a doorstop weepie, Les Miz is in musical form a bathetic pressure washer loaded with human tears. In Hooper’s (The King’s Speech) loose directorial grip, this water cannon jerks itself around as in an old Looney Tunes cartoon, spraying the world with salty liquid. As the saintly thief-gone-noble Jean Valjean pursued by the relentless Javert (Russell Crowe) through the streets of 19th-century France, Hugh Jackman is a terrifically convincing physical presence. But he is hobbled by Hooper’s decision to have the actors sing every line. Jackman is more a song-and-dance man than a balladeer, and his trilling over-enunciation bleeds his character of any possible nuance. Crowe, likewise, sounds less like a punctilious follower of the law than a barband bellower who needs a drink. Despite some expensive-looking overhead shots of degraded French life, Hooper’s epic film is centered doggedly on the suffering found in a human face. In the case of Anne Hathaway as the dying prostitute Fantine, this is a wise decision. She becomes a Jeanne D’Arc figure, ruined and beatific, sobbingly and haltingly wresting “I Dreamed a Dream” from Susan Boyle with the imperfections of her rendition. Les Miz is, more than anything, painfully obvious Oscar bait. In shooting relentlessly for a statuette, Hooper makes all of humanity into much the same thing: heavy and small, shining on the surface but just plain dead on the inside. PG-13. MATTHEW KORFHAGE. Lloyd Center, Cinema 99, Division, Evergreen Parkway, Hilltop, Lloyd Mall, Movies on TV, Tigard, Wilsonville.
Life of Pi
C Ignore the tiger for a moment. Ang Lee’s Life of Pi is a very simple story with a grandiose backdrop. For much of the film, we’re alone on a lifeboat, in the middle of the Pacific, with a boy and a Bengal. Rendered in sumptuous 3-D, the swoony special effects and churning waves create a palpable sense of motion. But the story lacks such pull. Based on Yann Martel’s Booker Prize-winning novel, the film surrenders the book’s more subtle messages for ham-handed schlock and slack-jawed awe. And unlike better feel-good films, which slowly lock their fangs around your heart, Life of Pi seems downright manipulative. It begins in French India, where Pi’s family owns a zoo. After some clunky exposition, the family loads its menagerie onto a ship bound for Canada, but a massive storm lands
Pi on a lifeboat with the aforementioned tiger. Visually, this is where the film picks up: The ocean swirls with phosphorescent plankton and jellyfish, a shimmering whale glides across the frame and the starry sky blurs with the glistening sea. Such sequences call to mind those Ravensburger jigsaw puzzles of underwater scenes with glowing moons and rainbow-hued fish. Less successfully, they reminded me of the neon Lisa Frank dolphin stickers I used to slap on my elementary-school notebooks. As Pi, newcomer Suraj Sharma deserves praise, and not just because he spends the majority of his scenes with a CGI tiger (which, it must be said, looks pretty realistic). But structurally, Life of Pi is—like the one it features onscreen—a shipwreck. Tedious scenes of an adult Pi and a Canadian author (presumably Martel) frame the film’s dramatic center, making the allegorical conceit all the schmaltzier. When at sea, Life of Pi’s grand visuals pick up some of the story’s slack. But back on land, it just runs aground. PG. REBECCA JACOBSON. Division, Evergreen Parkway, Lloyd Mall, Pioneer Place, Tigard.
Lincoln
B Lincoln opens with a shot of
Abraham’s very large, very statuesque head. As the camera pans to the front, the effect is startling. Though the 16th president has been put to film many times before, no one has looked the part like Daniel Day-Lewis. He’s a ringer: hollowed cheeks, slightly unruly mop of hair, a creased forehead and heavy brow. So when Day-Lewis first moves and speaks, it’s weirdly disquieting. But the initial shock of a reanimated Abe quickly fades, because Day-Lewis’ portrayal goes beyond physical likeness: His performance is brilliantly malleable, fully inhabited and deeply transfixing. It’s Oscar bait of the highest order. The same can’t be said for all of Lincoln. Focusing on the fight to abolish slavery in the first few months of 1865, Steven Spielberg’s stately drama is shrewd, balanced and impressively restrained. It turns in mesmerizing moments of political wheeling and dealing, as well as blistering debates and brazen name-calling on the House floor—it’s C-SPAN with waistcoats and muttonchops. More like a stage production than a Spielbergian spectacle, some of the best dialogue comes during the boisterous House vote on the 13th Amendment. Though we know the result, Spielberg manages to imbue the scene with moral complexity and gripping tension, as well as rowdy humor. It’s both inspirational and disheartening: Could contemporary politicians overcome such partisan gridlock? “Say all we’ve done is shown the world that democracy isn’t chaos?” Lincoln asks at one point. Nearly 150 years on, can we claim the same? PG-13. REBECCA JACOBSON. Lloyd Center, Cinema 99, Division, Evergreen Parkway, Movies on TV, Tigard.
CONT. on page 34 Willamette Week JANUARY 2, 2013 wweek.com
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jan. 2–8
Monsters, Inc. 3D
A cash grab, perhaps, but these working-stiff monsters are still pretty adorable. Not screened for critics. G. Division.
My Worst Nightmare
Children bring together a blundering neanderthal and a bourgeois director of an arts nonprofit; guess what ensues. Living Room Theaters.
Not Fade Away
A portrait of rock-’n’-roll dreams in suburban New Jersey in the ’60s, directed by David Chase, creator of The Sopranos. Screened after WW press deadlines, but look for Robert Ham’s review at wweek.com. R. Lloyd Mall, Movies on TV.
Parental Guidance
C- Artie Decker (Billy Crystal), the longtime announcer for Fresno’s minor-league baseball team, has just been fired. The aging Decker didn’t post on Facebook or tweet enough to satisfy management. And let’s not even discuss the last time he “hashtagged.” During the screening, an elderly woman sitting behind me snorted and turned to a small child: “I bet you know what all those terms meant,” she said. That, in a nutshell, is the target audience: old people who still find Crystal funny and children who don’t know any better. Bette Midler is also here for people who remember the ’80s and early ’90s. Parental Guidance even features a cameo by Tony Hawk, the Billy Crystal of skateboarding. Upon discovering they’re the second-tier grandparents, Midler and Crystal descend upon their daughter’s (Marisa Tomei) fully automated household to take care of their quirky grandkids while Tomei and her husband are out of town. The two out-of-touch grandparents bond with the kids and learn to become better parents. Tired technology jokes aside, this is a fairly pleasant, predictable and feel-good holiday movie. Even a Grinch like me chuckled a few times. PG. JOHN LOCANTHI. Cinema 99, Division, Evergreen Parkway, Hilltop, Lloyd Mall, Movies on TV, Pioneer Place, Tigard, Wilsonville.
Promised Land
B There are shots in Gus Van Sant’s Promised Land that could be mistaken for shots in 1991’s My Own Private Idaho: beautiful pastoral scenes, rolling country roads, the filmmaker’s signature time-lapse clouds. But where Idaho evokes Shakespeare and surrealism, Promised Land is a more humble film, about a farm boy-turnedcorporate salesman named Steve (Matt Damon) who travels to small American towns and buys up land to drill for natural gas. But as he goes door to door convincing the blue-collar Pennsylvania townsfolk that natural gas promises an economic windfall, Steve begins to question his own silver-tongued pitch. It’s a familiar narrative arc—likable corporate villain undergoes crisis of conscience—executed skillfully and sympathetically, though hampered by a few preachy incidents and some dubious plot twists late in the film. As Steve, Damon (who also wrote the screenplay, along with fellow star John Krasinski) gives a characteristically genuine performance, trilling a consistent refrain: “I’m not a bad guy.” But when highschool science teacher—and former Boeing engineer—Frank Yates (a reliably twinkly Hal Holbrook) whips out some damning data on fracking, Steve flails. The real trouble, though, arrives in the form of the improbably named Dustin Noble (Krasinski), a slightly smarmy charmer who further peeves Steve by snaring pretty elementary schoolteacher Alice (a goodspirited but dramatically superfluous Rosemarie DeWitt). Though Van Sant’s assured direction allows the drama to build quietly, Promised Land can’t help but wear its heart on its sleeve, and in the third act succumbs to a cheap shock. In a picture that’s otherwise well-acted, well-intentioned and handsomely shot, such late-inthe-game manipulations of storytelling leave a sour taste. Van Sant has called Promised Land his opportunity to make a movie in the spirit of
34
Frank Capra, but the machinations of Damon and Krasinski’s screenplay have done him a disservice. R. REBECCA JACOBSON. Lloyd Center, Movies on TV.
Rise of the Guardians
C As with any successful children’s book, it was only a matter of time before Hollywood set its sights on adapting The Guardians of Childhood series. These novels follow the adventures of the titular defenders—Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny, among others—as they seek to protect the purity and joy of young people around the globe. And, as you might expect, much of the arch weirdness and fantastical beauty that author William Joyce is known for has been shorn off and replaced with over-thetop humor, blowsy voice acting and a tidy but trite narrative. In the film, the evil Pitch (voiced by Jude Law) threatens to blanket the spirit of the world’s children in blackness, a move that compels the Guardians to join forces and defend their charges. As they do, they bring a new Guardian into the mix: the creator of winter chaos, Jack Frost (a whiny-sounding Chris Pine). If you can’t figure out what happens from there, you haven’t seen enough movies. Still, the journey is pleasant enough, thanks to some pretty incredible animation and some surprisingly dark moments that might spook or confuse younger attendees. PG. ROBERT HAM. Cinema 99, Division, Evergreen Parkway, Movies on TV.
Rolling Deep: Skateboarding Films 1965-80 #1
[ONE NIGHT ONLY] Rare early skateboarding shorts, ranging from the earliest skating on film (made in 1965) to legend Lance Mountain’s instructional video from 1978, projected in original 16 mm. Hollywood Theatre. 7:30 pm Thursday, Jan. 3.
The Sheik and I
[ONE WEEK ONLY] A documentary about Iranian-American filmmaker Caveh Zahedi, who was commissioned to make a film for a Middle Eastern biennial art exhibit and then found his picture banned for blasphemy. Clinton Street Theater. 9 pm FridayWednesday, Jan. 4-9.
Shoplifting From American Apparel
[ONE NIGHT ONLY, DIRECTOR ATTENDING] Part dramatization of Tao Lin’s novel of the same name and part misadventure of the making of independent film, this is the Portland premiere of Pirooz Kalayeh’s docudramedy. Clinton Street Theater. 9 pm Thursday, Jan. 3.
Silver Linings Playbook
A- With his first two pictures—1994’s
Spanking the Monkey and 1996’s Flirting With Disaster—director David O. Russell showed a mastery of familial discomfort, bringing to life the hilarity of tense situational extremes. In his mainstream work—the excellent boxing drama The Fighter and war-film deconstruction Three Kings—he demonstrated a keen eye for the comic potential of the self-destruction of the family unit. With Silver Linings Playbook, Russell revisits these themes and emerges with one of filmdom’s funniest stories of crippling manic depression. If Frank Capra had made an R-rated flick for the Prozac generation, it would look like this. The film follows the social reacclimation of Philly schoolteacher Pat (Bradley Cooper), who is institutionalized after beating his wife’s lover half to death. Pat forms an unlikely relationship with widow Tiffany (Jennifer Lawrence), who doggedly tries to win his affections despite the fact that he’s set on winning back the unwilling wife. Silver Linings strikes a delicate balance. This is a film that invites uncomfortable giggles at mental illness before exploding into frightening reality, as when a meet-cute segues into a terrifying domestic incident, with Cooper delivering an Oscar-caliber breakdown set to a Led Zeppelin song. As Pat’s loving dad with a history of violence, Robert De Niro lends a crushing and funny layer to an already marvelously dense story. As a family drama,
Willamette Week JANUARY 2, 2013 wweek.com
Silver Linings is top tier. As a romance, it’s blissfully unconventional. And as a foulmouthed ode to classic Hollywood, well, Capra would have fucking approved. R. AP KRYZA. Evergreen Parkway, Lloyd Mall.
Skyfall
A- James Bond should be forgiven a
little creakiness. Ian Fleming’s superspy has spent 22 films and 50 years getting punched and shot. His jet lag has to be excruciating. Let’s not even think of the wear on the old horndog’s nethers. But any concern about the franchise’s relevance is silenced within two seconds of Skyfall, which picks up in the middle of a batshit chase culminating in one of the most inventive train-top melees since young Indiana Jones rode the rails. To its very last moment, Skyfall brilliantly maintains the gritty modernist aesthetic of Casino Royale while injecting elements that were largely absent in that installment, including gadgetry, sass and humor. Director Sam Mendes subtly humanizes Bond (Daniel Craig) by focusing on his relationship with M (Judi Dench) while keeping up a breakneck pace. Cinematographer Roger Deakins brings verve to each sequence, particularly a neon-drenched fistfight in a high-rise and a prolonged shootout at a creaky Scottish manor. Each action sequence is shot wide and with the precise choreography of a dance. Skyfall also delivers an appropriately megalomaniacal villain in the creepy, bleached-blond Javier Bardem, a crazed, revenge-bent computer whiz with an itchy trigger finger and an Oedipus complex that would make Norman Bates cringe. As Bond, Craig brings a hard-edged cockiness and well-earned swagger in one of the year’s most crackling adventure films, which is also one of the super-spy’s most satisfying outings and proof that you can indeed teach an old horndog new tricks. PG-13. AP KRYZA. Evergreen Parkway, Lloyd Mall, Pioneer Place, Tigard.
This Is 40
B Judd Apatow’s latest undertaking revisits Pete (Paul Rudd) and Debbie (Leslie Mann), the churlish yet lovable couple first introduced in Knocked Up. The story picks up a few years after that rom-com, and though its tagline suggests otherwise, This Is 40 is not even “sort of” a sequel. Seth Rogen and Katherine Heigl are nowhere to be found, nor is there any mention of their characters. The hilariously fiery dynamic between Pete and Debbie, however, is here in full force. Pete and Debbie are turning 40 within a week of each other, and both make the middle-aged years look absolutely terrifying. Their lives are a depressing stew of resentment, regret and unfulfilling sex, all conveyed through sarcastic hyperbole. Pete, on the verge of losing his record label, spends his days cowering on the toilet, playing Words With Friends on his iPad, until Debbie inevitably sniffs him out and swoops in to blast him with a round of emotional blackmail. They spend much of their time fantasizing about one another’s demise. Though Apatow’s souped-up potty humor and fantastic cast keep the laughs coming from start to finish, This Is 40 at times frustrates in its insistence to be, well, just a movie about turning 40. The plot does not extend any further than that. But it’s still worth a watch: Apatow brings us close enough to Pete and Debbie that anyone can see a piece of themselves in their choppy love life. It may not work out so happily for everyone, but damn if This Is 40 doesn’t make it seem possible. R. EMILY JENSEN. Lloyd Center, Cinema 99, Division, Evergreen Parkway, Hilltop, Movies on TV, Pioneer Place, Tigard, Wilsonville.
The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2 C- The first Twilight hit theaters in 2008, a gentler time when fans of supernatural romance had less to choose from when it came to fanged and clawed eye candy. But nowadays, most people know what a “Sookie” is (not to mention were-panther sex). A little sparkle just doesn’t cut it in 2012. And maybe that’s why the last installment in this eternal love story feels so halfhearted and painfully plodding, like a Lifetime movie remake of itself. All Breaking Dawn Part 2 does is confirm
that Edward and his family (newly undead bride Bella included) are one boring bunch of bloodsuckers. This time, the brood’s newest member— Edward and Bella’s vamp-human baby, Renesmee—is threatened by the evil masters of the undead, the Volturi. A handful of delicious moments come, as usual, from Michael Sheen, who plays villainous Volturi head Aro as a tittering, red-eyed mouse from crazy town with a Napoleon complex. As in past Twi-movies, he seems to be the only member of the cast not taking the convoluted plot or wooden dialogue at all seriously and therefore is awesome. Similar to Breaking Dawn Part 1, which was saved by an amazing vampire C-section scene, Part 2 is somewhat redeemed by a surprisingly clever and bloody third act that seems to gleefully incinerate whole chunks of writer Stephenie Meyer’s original plotline. Purists will be incensed (briefly) while
the rest of us bored stiffs warm to the sight of multiple decapitations and an honest-to-goodness river of lava. But don’t worry—in the end there are eventually kisses. And love. Endless love. Put a stake in it already, will ya? PG-13. KELLY CLARKE. Cinema 99, Division, Movies on TV.
Yes, We Have No Bananas: 5 Films by Woody Allen
[ONE WEEK ONLY, REVIVAL] Nobody says it like Woody Allen: “Chapter One. He was as tough and romantic as the city he loved. Behind his black-rimmed glasses was the coiled sexual power of a jungle cat. (Oh, I love this.) New York was his town, and it always would be.” See Allen’s Manhattan, Annie Hall, The Purple Rose of Cairo, Hannah and Her Sisters and Crimes and Misdemeanors in 35 mm. Cinema 21. Various showtimes Friday-Thursday, Jan. 4-10.
REVIEW C O N N E L L C R E AT I O N S
MOVIES
towER of powER: wrestler Mt. fiji shows her strength.
GLOW: THE STORY OF THE GORGEOUS LADIES OF WRESTLING Pia Zadora ruins everything.
When alums from TV’s Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling reunite in a Vegas hotel more than 20 years after their show was canceled, three show up in wheelchairs. A few of the ambulatory ones boast torn ACLs or serious wrist injuries. But in the interviews that guide the narrative of Brett Whitcomb’s documentary, their memories are fond—and, unexpectedly, free from much sense of exploitation. When show creator David McLane launched GLOW in 1986, his motivation did seem to be a lifelong love of wrestling and a genuine desire to bring a greater audience to women in the ring. The show’s director, Matt Cimber, is described as having a strong comedic sense. One wrestler explains the conflict: “David wanted to combine the glamor and the grit. Matt’s idea was to make it campy and silly.” This resulted in a women’s wrestling show where the requisite trash-talking is edged out by sketch comedy, in-program infomercials and tonguein-cheek “behind the scenes” footage. GLOW’s intended demographic was consistent with that of its male counterpart: Aimed at children, it proved more than palatable to frat boys with hangovers. The athletes had quite the aesthetic range: Some resembled aerobics instructors and others gave off a heavyweight flamboyance—like Mt. Fiji, a Samoan shot putter who had qualified for the 1980 Olympics. Yet GLOW was originally cast through an open call for actresses in Los Angeles, none of whom was warned about the physically damaging project. Those who made it through screen tests were coached by Mondo Guerrero, an imposing member of a wrestling family dynasty. He was rumored to have once choke-held an actress into submission during rehearsal. Even after a successful four-season run and an energized tour of the era’s talk-show circuit, GLOW was canceled when primary financial backer Meshulam Riklis pulled his funding (as the result of a rumored ultimatum from his then-wife, Pia Zadora). But there’s little focus on the show’s end. Between warm but blunt recollections from cast and crew, and bountiful clips of in-ring antics, the film proves nearly as authentic as the show that produced it, which wrestler MTV describes as Daniel Day-Lewis-like: “We had to call each other by our character names.” SANDRA SORENSON.
B SEE it: GLOW: The Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling plays at the Hollywood Theatre. 7 pm Saturday-Sunday, Jan. 5-6.
MOVIES
JAN. 4–10
PIERRE GRISE PRODUCTIONS
BREWVIEWS
VROOM VROOM: In 1999, Leos Carax’s Pola X landed with such a resounding commercial and critical thud that, until recently, no one would hire him. So with nothing to lose, and the financial backing of a half-dozen production companies, Carax went for broke on Holy Motors. The film follows a gent (Denis Lavant) who drifts through Paris in a limo, adopting various guises: an old woman begging for change, a motion-capture artist in a skintight bodysuit and, most memorably, a mentally unstable homeless man who eats flowers and kidnaps Eva Mendes. By commenting on each era of the film industry, Carax urges viewers to remember how potent and indelible the art form can be. ROBERT HAM. Playing at: Hollywood. Best paired with: Double Mountain IRA. Also showing: Looper (Academy).
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CLASSIFIEDS DIRECTORY 36
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WELLNESS SERVICE DIRECTORY
HOME CARPET CLEANING SW Steampro 503-268-2821
www.steamprocarpetcleaners.com
COMPUTER REPAIR NE Portland Mac Tech 25 SE 62nd Ave. Portland, Oregon 97213 503-998-9662
HOME IMPROVEMENT SW Jill Of All Trades 6905 SW 35th Ave. Portland, Oregon 97219 503-244-0753
PROPERTY MANAGEMENT SW JMPDX LLC 1505 SW 6th #8155 Portland, Oregon 97207 503-730-5464
TREE SERVICE NE Steve Greenberg Tree Service 1925 NE 61st Ave. Portland, Oregon 97213 503-774-4103
AUDIO SE
Inner Sound
1416 SE Morrison Street Portland, Oregon 97214 503-238-1955 www.inner-sound.com
CELL PHONE REPAIR N Revived Cellular & Technology 7816 N. Interstate Ave. Portland, Oregon 97217 503-286-1527 www.revivedcellular.com
36
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STUFF
37
37
BULLETIN BOARD
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FREE WILL ASTROLOGY PETS
Gambling Too Much?
SEWING & ALTERATIONS N Spiderweb Sewing Studio
EMPLOYMENT OPPORTUNITIES
PHYSICAL FITNESS BILL PEC
503-750-6586 spiderwebsewingstudio@gmail.com 7204 N. Leonard St Portland, Or 97203
Personal Trainer & Independent Contractor
MASSAGE (LICENSED)
• Strength Training • Body Shaping • Nutrition Counseling AT THE GYM, OR IN YOUR HOME
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call
AUTO REPAIR SE Family Auto Network 1348 SE 82nd Ave. Portland, Oregon 97216 503-254-2886 www.FamilyAutoNetwork.com
MOVING Alienbox LLC 503-919-1022 alienbox.com
HAULING N LJ Hauling
503-839-7222 3642 N. Farragut Portland, Or 97217 moneymone1@gmail.com
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COLLISION REPAIR NE Atomic Auto 2510 NE Sandy Blvd Portland, Or 97232 503-969-3134 www.atomicauto.biz
Charles
503-740-5120
AUTO
Skilled, Male LMT
Massage openings in the Mt. Tabor area. Call Jerry for info. 503-757-7295. LMT6111.
Counseling Individuals, Couples and Groups Stephen Shostek, CET Relationships, Life Transitions, Personal Growth
Affordable Rates • No-cost Initial Consult www.stephenshostek.com
38 MATCHMAKER Make $1000 A WEEK mailing brochures from home! FREE Supplies! Helping Home-Workers since 2001! Genuine Opportunity! No experience required. Start Immediately! www.mailingcentral.net (AAN CAN)
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PAINTING
37
503-445-2757 • tbetts@wweek.com
STYLE
GADGET SE Gadget Fix 1012 SE 96th Ave. Portland, Oregon 97216 503-255-2988 Next to Target (Mall 205)
COUNSELING
JANUARY 2, 2013
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MUSICIANS MARKET FOR FREE ADS in 'Musicians Wanted,' 'Musicians Available' & 'Instruments for Sale' go to portland.backpage.com and submit ads online. Ads taken over the phone in these categories cost $5.
INSTRUMENTS FOR SALE TRADEUPMUSIC.COM
Buying, selling, instruments of every shape and size. Open 11am-7pm every day. 4701 SE Division & 1834 NE Alberta.
MUSIC LESSONS GUITAR LESSONS Personalized instruction for over 15yrs. Adults & children. Beginner through advanced. www.danielnoland.com 503-546-3137 Learn Jazz & Blues Piano with local Grammy winner Peter Boe. 503-274-8727.
STUFF FURNITURE
BEDTIME
TWINS
MATTRESS
$
COMPANY
79
FULL $ 89
QUEEN
(503)
760-1598
109
$
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Custom Sizes » Made To Order Financing Available
ALTERNATIVE MEDICINE
OMMP Resource Center Providing Safe Access to Medicine Valid MMJ Card Holders Only No Membership Dues or Door Fees
GENERAL BARTENDING
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© 2013 Rob Brezsny
Week of January 3
ARIES (March 21-April 19): In 2013, I pledge to conspire with you to increase your mastery of the art of friendship. Together we will concentrate on making you an even stronger ally than you already are. We will upgrade your skill at expressing your feelings with open-hearted clarity, and in ways that don’t make people defensive. We will also inspire you to help others communicate effectively in your presence. I hope you understand that doing this work will empower you to accomplish feats that were never before possible for you.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): “I’ve been absolutely terrified every moment of my life,” said Scorpio painter Georgia O’Keeffe, “and I’ve never let it keep me from doing a single thing I wanted to do.” I think her declaration is excellent medicine for you. In 2013, you will have great potential for upgrading your relationship with your fears -- not necessarily suppressing them or smashing them, but rather using them more consistently as a springboard, capitalizing on the emotions they unleash, and riding the power they motivate you to summon.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Chickens and alligators share a common ancestor. Seventy million years ago, they were both archosaurs. That’s why chickens possess a gene that has the ability to grow teeth. A few years ago, a biological researcher at the University of Wisconsin managed to activate this capacity, inducing a few mutant chickens to sprout alligator teeth. I predict there will be a metaphorically comparable event happening for you in 2013, Taurus. The “chicken” part of you will acquire some of the gravitas of an alligator.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): “Ambition can creep as well as soar,” said Irish philosopher Edmund Burke. That will be good for you to remember throughout 2013, Sagittarius. Later this year, the time may come for your ambition to soar -- in the month of April, for example, and again in the month of August. But for the foreseeable future, I think your ambition will operate best if you keep it contained and intense, moving slowly and gradually, attending to the gritty details with supreme focus.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): “People wish to learn to swim and at the same time to keep one foot on the ground,” said French novelist Marcel Proust. An attitude like that is always a barrier to growth, of course, but in 2013 it would be especially ill-advised for you Geminis. In order to win full possession of the many blessings that will be offering themselves to you, you will have to give up your solid footing and dive into the depths over and over again. That may sometimes be a bit nerve-racking. But it should also generate the most fun you’ve had in years.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): In Tom Robbins’ book Skinny Legs and All, one of the characters, Ellen Cherry, has a conversation with a voice in her head. The voice gives her a piece of advice: “The trick is this: keep your eye on the ball. Even when you can’t see the ball.” I think that happens to be excellent counsel for you to heed during the next six months, Capricorn. You may not always be able to figure out what the hell is going on, but that shouldn’t affect your commitment to doing the right thing. Your job is to keep your own karma clean and pure -- and not worry about anyone else’s karma.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): Here’s the horoscope I hope to be able to write for you a year from now: You escaped the chains that kept you enslaved to your primary source of suffering. You broke the trance it kept you in, and you freed yourself from its demoralizing curse. Now you have forged a resilient new relationship with your primary source of suffering -- a relationship that allows you to deal with it only when it’s healthy for you to do so and only when you feel strong enough to do it. Very nicely done! Congratulations! Excellent work! LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): “In this world,” said Oscar Wilde, “there are only two tragedies. One is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.” I’m counting on you to refute the last part of that questionable assertion, Leo. According to my analysis of the long-term astrological omens, you will definitely be getting what you want in the next six months. You will receive your prize . . . you will earn your badge . . . you will win a big game or claim your birthright or find your treasure. When that happens, I trust you will make sure it is an enduring blessing. There will be no sadness involved! VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): English poet Alfred Tennyson wrote so many memorable lines that he is among the top ten most frequently cited authors in The Oxford Dictionary of Quotations. One of his most famous passages was “’Tis better to have loved and lost / Than never to have loved at all.” When he was on his death bed at age 83, his enigmatic last words were, “I have opened it.” Let’s make that declaration your mantra for the coming year, Virgo. In your case, it will have nothing to do with death, but just the opposite. It will be your way of announcing your entrance into a brighter, lustier, more fertile phase of your life. Try saying it right now: “I have opened it!” LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Back in 1830, it was expensive to stay up and do things in your room after dark. To earn enough money to pay for the whale oil that would light your lamp for an hour, you had to work for 5.4 hours. And today? It’s cheaper. You have to put in less than a second of hard labor to afford an hour’s worth of light. I suspect that in 2013 there will be a similar boost in your ease at getting the light you need to illuminate your journey. I’m speaking metaphorically here, as in the insight that arises from your intuition, the emotional energy that comes from those you care about, and the grace of the Divine Wow. All that good stuff will be increasing.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): I’ll be bold and predict that 2013 will be a time when you’ll discover more about the art of happiness than you have in years. Here are some clues to get you started. 1. “It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.” -Agnes Repplier. 2. “There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things that are beyond the power of our will.” -Epictetus. 3. “For the rational, healthy person, the desire for pleasure is the desire to celebrate his control over reality. For the neurotic, the desire for pleasure is the desire to escape from reality.” -Nathaniel Branden. 4. “Our happiness springs mainly from moderate troubles, which afford the mind a healthful stimulus, and are followed by a reaction which produces a cheerful flow of spirits.” -E. Wigglesworth. 5. “Happiness is essentially a state of going somewhere, wholeheartedly, one-directionally, without regret or reservation.” -William H. Sheldon. 6. “We act as though comfort and luxury were the chief requirements of life, when all that we need to make us really happy is something to be enthusiastic about.” -Charles Kingsley. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): In 2013, I pledge to help you feel at peace and in love with your body; I will do everything in my power to encourage you to triumph over media-induced delusions that tempt you to wish you were different from who you actually are. My goal is to be one of your resourceful supporters in the coming months -- to be a member of your extensive team of allies. And I will be working with you to ensure that this team grows to just the right size and provides you with just the right foundation. If all goes well, your extra help will ensure that you finish almost everything you start in the coming year. You will regularly conquer everyday chaos and be a master of artful resolutions.
Homework Send me your New Year’s resolutions. Go to RealAstrology.com and click on “Email Rob.” For extra credit, also send me your anti-resolutions: Weird habits and vices that you pledge to continue.
check out Rob Brezsny’s Expanded Weekly Audio Horoscopes & Daily Text Message Horoscopes
freewillastrology.com
503-445-2757 • tbetts@wweek.com
SERVICES
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CLEANING
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Theory Performance. All levels. Portland 503-227-6557 and 503-735-5953.
SUPPORT GROUPS
HANDYPERSON MILLS HANDYMAN AND REMODELING 503-245-4397. Free Estimate. Affordable, Reliable. Insured/Bonded. CCB#121381
MOTOR
ALANON Sunday Rainbow
GENERAL
Got Meth Problems? Need Help?
5:15 PM meeting. G/L/B/T/Q and friends. Downtown Unitarian Universalist Church on 12th above Taylor. 503-309-2739.
“Atomic Auto New School Technology, Old School Service” www.atomicauto.biz
Oregon CMA 24 hour Hot-line Number: 503-895-1311. We are here to help you! Information, support, safe & confidential!
mention you saw this ad in WW and receive 10% off for your 1st visit!
AUTOS WANTED
HAULING/MOVING
CASH FOR CARS: Any Car/Truck. Running or Not! Top Dollar Paid. We Come To You! Call For Instant Offer: 1-888-420-3808 www.cash4car.com (AAN CAN)
Haulers with a Conscience
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Free Estimates • Same Day Service • Licensed/Insured • Locally Owned by Women We Care
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LANDSCAPING Bernhard’s Professional MaintenanceComplete yard care, 20 years. 503-515-9803. Licensed and Insured.
TREE SERVICES Steve Greenberg Tree Service
Pruning and removals, stump grinding. 24-hour emergency service. Licensed/ Insured. CCB#67024. Free estimates. 503-284-2077
PETS
Oscar
Man, it must have been Opposite Day when I was named! They call me “Oscar” but I am no grouch, no sirree! I am cheerful, playful, huggable, humorous guy who is about 9 months old and ready to find the right family for the holidays. Rain got you down? Let me cheer you up! I can’t help but make you laugh with my silly antics, and have you seen my face?? If that doesn’t make you smile then you might be a real scrooge! Don’t worry, a little time with me and I can turn any humbug into a lovebug! I am wonderful with people and other animals, and am an all around sweet-hearted boy. Because I am so young and energetic I need a family that is experienced with dog training and can take me through puppy classes. Whatdya say? Want to shop for a long-legged Puggle this year? Fill out an application at pixieproject.org so we can schedule a meet and greet! I am fixed, vaccinated and microchipped. My adoption fee is $220
The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at
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JONESIN’ by Matt Jones
“The World Didn’t End”–but some other things happened in 2012.
FREE to participate in the member FORUMS. UNLIMITED LIVE CHAT $19/week Free call 503-222-CHAT • 360-696-5253 www.LiveMatch.com
won even more medals 57 R&B’s india.___ 58 “This is ___ boring” 59 “OK, sir, I gotcha” 61 “___ Dearest” 63 Snacks snapped up after its manufacturer went bankrupt 65 Apply oil ritually 66 “Tickety ___” (animated Nick Jr. show) 67 Folk singer Burl 68 Last name in British automakers 69 “What a display!” 70 Jane’s Addiction album “Ritual ___ Habitual”
18 Imply 19 “Rah!” 20 Nervous movement 22 Wayside taverns 23 Cruise ship that capsized off Italy’s coast in January 2012 26 Zeus’s sister (and lover) 27 Ctrl-S function 28 “Yuck!”
31 Devilish sort 33 Beth preceder 37 If it had happened, you wouldn’t be reading this 42 Org. with a shelter outreach program 43 Group of cubicles 44 Thesaurus wd. 45 It’s just a little bit 48 Paint hastily 51 Where Michael Phelps
last week’s answers
Across 1 Did some hoof work 5 Acoustic guitarist’s lack 8 Reasons for some performance anxiety 13 “___ but known....” 14 Go head to head 15 Words intoned 16 With “The,” hit summer movie with Robert Downey, Jr.
Down 1 Fuzzy carpet 2 Devastation 3 “___ Billie Joe” (Bobbie Gentry song) 4 Best-selling author D’Souza 5 Schubert song played at weddings 6 Salyut 7 successor 7 Green sauce 8 Drab crayon hue 9 100% 10 Get up 11 Singer/guitarist Lopez 12 Taco salad ingredient 15 Center of activity 17 Airport terminal area 21 The newly-elected 24 Rough it 25 Mirror shape 28 Thurman who killed Bill on-screen 29 Natural ___ (subject of “fracking” in 2012) 30 Prefix meaning “less than normal” 32 Go boom
34 Pre-album releases, for short 35 He unleashed “Gangnam Style” on YouTube in 2012 36 “Chicken Run” extra 38 Like the scholarly world 39 Org. once involved with Kosovo 40 “Agent ___ Banks” 41 He played the youngest son on “Eight Is Enough” 46 Very beginning 47 Dairy noise 49 Getting all ___ your face 50 What a toddler aspires to be 51 1996 presidential race dropout Alexander 52 University of Maine town 53 Leonard who wrote “I Am Not Spock” 54 Powerball, e.g. 55 Sour cream and ___ (dip flavor) 56 Girder material 60 ___ buco (veal dish) 62 Suffix for “opal” 64 Court
©2012 Jonesin’ Crosswords (editor@jonesincrosswords.com) For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle #JONZ604.
Located Downtown
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Open Sundays till 5pm!
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GET WELL GO TO THE BEACH “The Naughty Ladies of Naked City” by Matt Stanger $10
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8312 E. Mill Plain Blvd (360) 213-1011
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SEE MORE INSIDE
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Washougal, WA 98671
(360) 844-5779
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Qigong Classes
The Recording Store. Pro Audio. CD/DVD Duplication. www.superdigital.com 503-228-2222
Helping Oregon employees collect wages! Free consultation!
PAINTOY.COM
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CARPET REPAIRS
CDPDX
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Poppi’s Pipes
now offering local guitar lessons and holiday house concerts. battenposse@earthlink.net
Area 69
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Look for it January 16th & 23rd.
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MEDICAL MARIJUANA
Card Services Clinic
503-384-WEED (9333) www.mmcsclinic.com
4911 NE Sandy Blvd, Portland