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VOL 39/10 01.09.2013

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NEWS The sheriff’s overtime follies. CULTURE PATRICK DEWITT’S BREAK. THEATER JAMES BEARD’S PORTLAND.

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STAFF Editor-in-Chief Mark Zusman EDITORIAL Managing Editor for News Brent Walth Arts & Culture Editor Martin Cizmar Staff Writers Andrea Damewood, Nigel Jaquiss, Aaron Mesh Copy Chief Rob Fernas Copy Editors Matt Buckingham, Peggy Capps Stage & Screen Editor Rebecca Jacobson Music Editor Matthew Singer Books Penelope Bass Classical Brett Campbell Dance Heather Wisner Theater Rebecca Jacobson Visual Arts Richard Speer Editorial Interns Erin Fenner, Olga Kozinskiy Mitch Lillie

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Our mission: Provide our audiences with an independent and irreverent understanding of how their worlds work so they can make a difference. Though Willamette Week is free, please take just one copy. Anyone removing papers in bulk from our distribution points will be prosecuted, as they say, to the full extent of the law. Willamette Week is published weekly by City of Roses Newspaper Company 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Main line phone: (503) 243-2122 fax: (503) 243-1115 Classifieds phone: (503) 223-1500 fax: (503) 223-0388

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INBOX EXPOSING A NUISANCE

When I lived in St. Louis, I was plagued with repeat visits from Jehovah’s Witnesses [“Sweep the Stoop,” WW, Jan. 2, 2013]. I started out by stating politely that I appreciated the offer, but I wasn’t interested. That seemed to just fuel the fire. On subsequent early-morning weekend visits, I tried various responses to their proselytizing: reasoning, yelling, threatening with legal action for trespassing, saying I worshipped Satan (not true) and stating that I was a lesbian (true). I thought that last one would do the trick, but it just seemed to give them more incentive. Then I got an idea. I wrote this on an index card and taped it to the door: We will listen to your views and accept your literature only if you are completely naked. I heard them on the porch the next Saturday, but no knock. They never came back. I guess they didn’t love Jesus enough to strip for him. Catherine Lyle Southeast Portland

TROUBLE WITH THESE VOICES

Julie Parrish, the “brash Republican survivor” and newly elected Oregon House representative from West Linn, suffers from Clarence Thomas syndrome—the beneficiary of governmental programs whose benefits she wishes to deny to those who follow [“Voices,” WW, Jan. 2, 2013]. Parrish says what she learned from her and her five siblings growing up on food stamps “is that the system does not work.” The system worked precisely as it was intended, nourishing Parrish and her siblings until they could grow up (and become conservatives, as she reports they have). Brian A. Cobb Southwest Portland

A large pole with multicolored lights sits on top of the Standard Insurance building downtown. The lights shine either white, green or red. Is this Portland’s answer to Gotham’s BatSignal? An homage to Christmas? Or a message to aliens? —None of My Business You know what sucks about getting old? Besides the way your skin begins to congeal into something that would be better described by the term “bark.” It’s how nothing is new to you anymore. When I first started at Willamette Week— back when we wrote out each copy of the paper by hand in mole’s blood—I would have found the Standard Plaza weather beacon utterly newsworthy. I probably would have done a story about it, too, had I not been too busy scanning the street for stray vials of crack to look up and notice it was there. 4

Willamette Week JANUARY 9, 2013 wweek.com

We need to hear less from Fred Armisen, not more please. I’m sick of him and his embarrassing unfunny-ness. I don’t care about his boring hipstery self-involved blabbermouth infatuation with Portland, and I hold him partly responsible for the ruining [of ] Portland. Thanks! “Margo” This is a lovely profile of Johnny No Bueno, making him look like a progressive defender of the working man. You’d never know the negative, conservative bloviating tone of his poems from reading this. “Sean H.”

MORE THAN ORDINARY

The Streetcar Bistro and Taproom is a wonderful haven for family and friends [“Bar Spotlight,” WW, Jan. 2, 2013]. It doesn’t look like any airport bar or corporate-stamp dark-wood pub with fried food I have ever been to. I think you were looking for the ordinary and your expectations were, of course, disappointed. The food, staff, ambiance and prices are quite amazing. I am not a beer aficionado...yet. I do know my cocktails, and their Jasmo blew me out of the water. It is truly extraordinary. Check it out for yourself. “Susan C” LETTERS TO THE EDITOR must include the author’s street address and phone number for verification. Letters must be 250 or fewer words. Submit to: 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Fax: (503) 243-1115, Email: mzusman@wweek.com

Now, though, the beacon seems old hat. Hacks like me forget there’s a new generation who doesn’t know this stuff. (Heck, some of you probably don’t even know about the opium poppy fields in Forest Park, or the talking beavers on Swan Island.) So here’s the scoop: As quaint as it might seem to those of us who routinely check our smartphones to see if it’s raining outside because we can’t be bothered to open the blinds, when it was constructed in 1953, the beacon actually provided a relatively handy weather report. When the color is white, it means the temperature is forecast to drop by five or more degrees in the next 24 hours. When it’s red, it means a comparable rise over the same interval. When it’s green, nothing interesting is going to happen. Finally, when the lights are blinking, it means it’s either raining, or going to rain—the very definition of a safe bet. QUESTIONS? Send them to dr.know@wweek.com

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PUBLIC SAFETY: The overtime gusher in the sheriff’s office. 7 CITY HALL: An upcoming audit will pave the Transportation Bureau. 9 HIGHER ED: Why universities can’t save money on health care. 10 COVER STORY: A new book looks at the Christmas tree bomber case. 13

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The Oregon Zoo has apologized to a family whose 9-month-old son needed emergency medical attention after getting sick following a meal at the zoo’s Cascade Grill. Mitali Kulkarni says she and her husband also got sick in what they suspect was part of a Dec. 5-7 norovirus outbreak linked to food served at zoo restaurants. State officials believe as many as 135 people ZOO DINNER got sick from the virus, which causes severe vomiting and diarrhea. WW reported Dec. 26 that the zoo hasn’t had a county health inspection since 2006—thanks to an exemption in state law for government-owned restaurants. County officials told WW the zoo had earlier turned down offers of voluntary inspections. Kulkarni emailed the zoo after hearing that news to express her disappointment. The reply she got back read in part: “The zoo is fully in compliance with all health regulations and contrary to what has been reported or implied, the zoo has not refused inspections.” It was signed: “Sincerely, Oregon Zoo.” Zoo officials argue there’s no link between the outbreak and a lack of inspections, and a spokeswoman says only two people contacted the zoo about getting sick. Kulkarni—whose son had to go to an ER because of dehydration—says the experience was very traumatic. “They should be warning people or something—you can’t take chances with kids,” she tells WW. “They basically shunned their responsibility.” New City Commissioner Steve Novick has wasted no time publicizing his ambitious agenda, including items over which City Hall has little say. On his official blog, Novick suggests reform ideas he talked about on the campaign trail. Included on the list: He wants prosecutors to ask for shorter sentences and use money saved from lower prison costs to fund crime prevention. Novick also wants more Portland houses bolted to their foundations to prepare for a Cascadian earthquake— and makes a tongue-in-cheek plea to Oregon’s Daddy Warbucks to help pay for it. “Phil Knight gave $100 million to Oregon Health & Science University,” Novick writes. “If he would pay the same amount to bolt down 29,411 houses, here’s one vote for putting a swoosh NOVICK on the entrance to City Hall.” Textile and gravel magnate Bob Pamplin Jr. is investing even more in newspapers. Pamplin Media Group, which publishes the Portland Tribune, announced Jan. 8 it has bought six Oregon newspapers from Salem-based Eagle Newspapers Inc., a company owned by former Republican congressman Denny Smith: the Canby Herald, Newberg Graphic, Molalla Pioneer, Wilsonville Spokesman, Woodburn Independent and Madras Pioneer. Pamplin has been locked in a decadelong newspaper war with The Oregonian. “It puts us on an equal footing with anybody,” says Pamplin newspaper division director Mark Garber. “We’re right up there with anybody else.” Read more Murmurs and daily scuttlebutt.

Willamette Week JANUARY 9, 2013 wweek.com

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BUDGET-BREAKING PRACTICES ALLOW SOME SHERIFF’S DEPUTIES TO DOUBLE THEIR PAY.

The Multnomah County Sheriff’s Office regularly busts its overtime budgets. More than $1.2 million in extra pay was collected among the department’s top 30 overtime earners in 2012. Here are the top five last year, based on percentage increases over their salaries.

LESLIE MONTGOMERY

OVERTIME BUSTS

TIME AND HALF—AND MORE

BY AN D R E A DA M E WO O D adamewood@wweek.com

Sgt. Diana Olsen has occasionally been the face of the Multnomah County Sheriff ’s Office. She heads up the sheriff ’s search and rescue team, and when a 7-year-old Skyline Elementary School student named Kyro n Horman went missing in 2010, Olsen was sometimes on the TV news providing updates about the hunt for the little boy. She’s also well known inside the sheriff’s office for something else: her excessive use of overtime long after the Horman investigation slowed. In one six-week period in the fall of 2011, Olsen claimed an astounding 300 hours overtime, worth $20,000. Her timecards included one hour of overtime for buying groceries for a search and rescue team outing, five hours to take a rifle test she had previously failed, and 10 hours of “policy review” while at her beach house in Ocean Park, Wash. Only one hour was charged to the Kyron Horman case. In 2011, Olsen (who also owns a home in Hawaii) increased her base salary of $90,879 by 90 percent with overtime, running her pay up to $172,710. Her practices so concerned sheriff ’s officials they rewrote the department’s overtime policies. But Olsen, 57, is still bringing in big overtime pay, and she’s not alone. WW’s analysis of two years’ worth of payroll and budget records shows the sheriff’s office has spent more than twice the money budgeted for overtime. The top 30 overtime earners during 2012 pulled in more than $1.2 million above their regular pay. Olsen, whose overtime increased her salary by only 67 percent last year, isn’t near the top of 2012’s list. A civilian facility security officer worked enough to increase his salary 109 percent. A deputy sheriff pulled in a 103 percent increase. And Daniel Carrithers, a corrections sergeant, used overtime to run up his base salary of $92,106 to a breathtaking $182,008—making him the highest-paid employee of Multnomah County, above even county physicians and medical directors. Overtime problems have long plagued the sheriff’s office, which runs the county’s

SILENT SHERIFF: Multnomah County Sheriff Dan Staton has yet to curb overtime spending.

FACT: Multnomah County Sheriff Dan Staton earned $142,145 last year. Thanks to overtime, 13 deputies and corrections officers made more than he did.

corrections systems and operates deputy patrols. An annual grand jury report that oversees county corrections has routinely cited staffing and overtime issues—and Sheriff Dan Staton, when he ran for office in 2010, promised to deal with them. But Staton’s office, halfway through its budget year, has already burned through its $3.6 million overtime budget. After more than a week of requests for comment, Staton did not make himself available for this story. Staton instead referred questions to Chief Deputy Drew Brosh, who says overtime spending is a result of not having enough deputies to run a 24/7 operation. “People are working a lot of overtime,” Brosh says, “and earning a lot of money.” Yet the longstanding tradition of paying deputies time-and-a-half to cover for a sick jail guard or a vacationing patrol deputy continues. And it leaves the door open for Olsen and dozens of deputies to drastically increase their pay and beef up their pension payouts under Oregon’s Public Employee Retirement System. “[Olsen] is the poster child for why public employees get slammed,” says former Capt. Brett Elliott, who first blew the whistle on her overtime use. “They refuse to take action with this employee and actually hold her accountable. It’s a chronic issue, and it is a product of their failure to get a handle on it.”

S O U R C E : M U LT N O M A H C O U N T Y

Records show corrections division deputies and sergeants received, on average, a 16 percent pay increase through overtime last year. But those averages doesn’t tell the whole story. A smaller number of deputies, sergeants and corrections officers—44 in all—succeeded in increasing their base pay by at least half last year. Fuavai Tapasa, a facility security officer who joined the sheriff ’s office in 2001, saw the biggest increase in his pay from overtime, 109 percent, pushing his pay to $95,243. The year before, a corrections officer, Shahram Afzal, saw his pay increase by 116 percent, to $152,996.

Then there’s Deputy Brent Laizure, who on average has doubled his salary for two years running. His pay hit $142,892 last year (including a $5,013 increase in his base salary). But it’s the case of Olsen that caused sheriff’s officials to take action. Her practices were brought to light by Elliott, who filed a federal whistle-blower lawsuit against the department last May. Elliott alleged he was retaliated against and demoted to lieutenant after accusing that Undersheriff Tim Moore of fabricated documents to earn state law enforcement certification. A state investigation cleared CONT. on page 8 Willamette Week JANUARY 9, 2013 wweek.com

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A SLEIGH LOAD OF MONEY: Multnomah County Sheriff Sgt. Diana Olsen stands with Deputy Don Bryant, dressed as Santa, during a 2009 charity holiday party. Olsen, 57, is one of dozens of department employees to dramatically increase her take-home pay using overtime. Last year, she earned $156,932—67 percent more than her base salary of $93,874.

Moore. Elliott’s case settled in August, with the department reinstating his rank of captain and awarding him $80,000. Elliott is now officially retired from the sheriff’s office. Elliott detailed Olsen’s overtime use in a Nov. 28, 2011, memo to higher-ups and called for an outside investigation into what he called “rampant, freewheeling overtime.” Instead, Chief Deputy Jason Gates tells WW he sent Olsen’s case to internal affairs, which failed to find any explicit wrongdoing. Gates says that neither he nor Olsen’s immediate supervisor, Capt. Monte Reiser, was aware of her extensive overtime until Elliott brought it to their attention. Gates says he verbally authorized the overtime. But, he says, “It couldn’t be accounted for.” “If there is anybody to blame, it was our administration, and me,” he adds. “It is an

this year), and Sheriff Staton, who’s independently elected and can spend the money as he sees fit. Staton, despite exceeding his overtime budget, has always spent just under his overall budget, Gates says. But that money has to come from somewhere in the sheriff’s budget. Ironically, the first way to make up for overspending comes from about $2 million in staff vacancies. Up next, says Gates, is training. “If it isn’t free and in town, or if it involves any overtime, I deny it outright,” Gates says of training, adding that online courses have made training more efficient. Brosh says that non-mandatory training, including mental health, public communication, gear and tactics, are the first to go. The sheriff ’s overtime spending will never

“IT WAS AN EXTRAVAGANT AMOUNT OF OVERTIME.” —CHIEF DEPUTY JASON GATES extravagant amount of overtime.” Gates says he reassigned some of Olsen’s duties (she remains search and rescue coordinator) and rewrote policy to require his written approval of overtime that goes beyond filling in for another officer’s vacation or sick leave. Sergeants must also have another sergeant enter overtime for them. Olsen did not return multiple requests from WW for comment. Elliott says he can’t believe Olsen wasn’t disciplined. “They did nothing other than change the rules for the future,” Elliott says. “They did nothing to hold Reiser and Olsen accountable.” Chief Deputy Brosh says overtime in the sheriff’s office is necessary because of short staffing in the department, which employs 750. He says the office is down by about 15 people in the corrections division and seven in law enforcement. Those empty posts, coupled with vacations and sick leave, mean that overtime adds up, he says. The sheriff ’s budget is a political dance between Multnomah County’s elected commissioners, who set an overall limit ($120 million 8

Willamette Week JANUARY 9, 2013 wweek.com

hit zero, he notes, but the department is seeking a balance between paying existing officers extra and hiring more staff. “We like to call it ‘the sweet spot,’” Brosh says. As of now, the department appears to be in the outer orbit of a sweet spot. The county commission last year gave the department $888,000 to increase its staffing. It’s a work in progress at best. Finding qualified corrections and law enforcement officers isn’t easy—every 100 applicants include maybe three men and women good enough for the job, Brosh says. Despite such selectivity, the sheriff ’s office hired 24 deputies in fiscal 2012, he says. That may be far from enough: The 2012 Multnomah County Corrections Grand Jury report, released in December, says the office may need to hire up to 85 new officers before July due to possible retirements. Once the additional deputies are brought on, Brosh says, the department can test whether it’s got the numbers right. “Good stewardship of the public’s money,” Gates says, “is always on the forefront of what we do.”

CITY HALL

NEWS

A FORK IN THE ROAD A YET-TO-BE-RELEASED AUDIT SLAMS THE CITY’S TRANSPORTATION SPENDING—AND GIVES HALES AN OPENING FOR REFORM. BY AA R O N M E S H

amesh@wweek.com

Mayor Charlie Hales has promised to shake up the city bureau that is supposed to maintain Portland’s streets—and the city auditor is poised to provide him with the muscle to do it. City Auditor LaVonne Griffin-Valade’s office has prepared an audit of the Portland Bureau of Transportation’s spending under former Mayor Sam Adams. Sources inside the bureau who have seen the spending audit describe it as scathing. The audit will scold the bureau and City Council for committing to new capital projects— including $86 million for the Sellwood Bridge replacement and $55 million for the Milwaukie light-rail extension—while not setting aside enough money for basic road upkeep. One PBOT official who has read a draft of the audit says it describes recent spending as “buying a widescreen TV while the roof is leaking.” Director of Audit Services Drummond Kahn won’t discuss the findings of the audit, which he says will be made public in three to four weeks. But Kahn says the audit will look at how the bureau—with a $341.5 million annual budget in 2012—manages its discretionary spending. A second audit this winter will examine how much street paving PBOT has completed in the past four years. “The city needs to better prioritize its paving work,” Kahn says. “We reported in 2006 that it costs far less to preserve existing streets before they decay than it does to do major reconstruction work on streets once they fail.” The audit is coming out just as the bureau is asking for more money and new ways to raise revenue to pay for basic street maintenance. But the narrative that PBOT’s spending has been poorly managed was so well-established during the election that Hales pledged a back-tobasics approach during his campaign. Hales forced out the bureau’s director—longtime Adams ally Tom Miller—two days before Hales’ inauguration Jan. 2. He also blocked the

hiring of a public affairs manager at the bureau, a job Miller had reportedly planned to give to ex-Adams aide Amy Ruiz. In the coming months, Hales will need to make bigger decisions about PBOT than naming the bureau’s top brass. PBOT’s discretionary spending—projected at $106 million in 2012—ranges from a third to half of the bureau’s annual budget, and is funded mostly by the state gas tax and city parking fees. The rest of the bureau’s money comes mostly from federal grants and intergovernmental agreements, which fluctuate from year to year and stipulate how the money must be used. WW reported in November that the bureau faces a $4.5 million shortfall in the coming budget. A financial report Miller delivered to City Hall on Dec. 31 says PBOT needs new revenue sources for a stable budget. In the document, a 14-member task force resurrects the perennially contentious idea of a citywide street-maintenance fee, which would fund road repairs with a charge added to monthly water and sewer bills. The task force’s report—first revealed by The Portland Mercury in November—also suggests raising rates on parking meters to as high as $4 an hour during times of peak demand. The panel says these new funding sources are necessary because the state gas tax, which provides much of the bureau’s budget, isn’t meeting projections. Per-capita gas purchases in Oregon hit an all-time low in 2011 (“Choo-Choo Changes,” WW, Nov. 7, 2012). “It is remarkable that the city has accomplished so much on such an antiquated revenue model,” the report concludes. “Imagine what can be done with a revenue model that supports—rather than undermines—our community’s goals.” The panel report concedes that funding the Sellwood Bridge and Milwaukie light rail came at the cost of street maintenance, but says City Council needed to invest in regional infrastructure. “In honoring each request, however, the city dramatically limited its ability to invest in its own street network,” the report says. Hales declined to comment on the PBOT report. “He has not read it in detail yet,” Hales spokesman Dana Haynes tells WW.

Willamette Week JANUARY 9, 2013 wweek.com

NEWS

EDUCATION

KITZHABER NIXES UNIVERSITIES’ HOPES OF CUTTING HEALTH COSTS. BY N IG EL JAQUI SS

njaquiss@wweek.com

Oregon’s seven state universities have been clamoring for years for more independence from bureaucratic state regulations. As taxpayer support for them has waned, Oregon University System officials argue, the schools should have more freedom to run themselves like businesses and control their own costs. And two years ago, Gov. John Kitzhaber agreed, signing a bill that gave the universities some of the freedom they sought. OUS officials have found a way to use that newfound independence to save money—$67 million in the next two-year budget—on employees’ health premiums. That’s savings that could lower students’ tuition. But it’s also too much independence for the governor: Kitzhaber has told the universities no. “It’s craziness,” says state Rep. Mark Johnson (R-Hood River), who co-chaired the House Higher Education Subcommittee in 2011. “It’s just another way of the system saying, ‘We’d like to be efficient,’ up until it threatens one of the sacred cows.”

In this case, the sacred cow that’s being protected is the Public Employees’ Benefit Board, the insurance pool that negotiates health-care coverage for 50,000 state employees. Currently, 13,000 OUS employees—about a quarter of the pool—get their health coverage this way. But an analysis by OUS finance chief Jay Kenton given to lawmakers last month shows the universities pay $33 millionplus a year more into the insurance pool than their employees get back in benefits. In his report, Kenton says allowing OUS to find less expensive health insurance would have a real impact: In-state students pay $630 in tuition for every $1,000 OUS pays in employee healthinsurance premiums. The system costs OUS more because its employees tend to be healthier than state employees as a whole. As a result, universities (and students through their tuition) subsidize the state’s health-insurance costs. It’s the first serious test of Kitzhaber’s commitment to giving universities more independence. But Kitzhaber believes if OUS employees got out of the state insurance pool, premiums for the remaining state employees could rise—creating longterm consequences that are bigger than higher tuition costs. “The governor wants universities to be

J O N AT H A N H I L L

INSURING INEFFICIENCY

more efficient, but not if it merely shifts the cost to a bunch of other folks and possibly undermines the long-term interests of the OUS members,” says Ben Cannon, Kitzhaber’s education adviser. Cannon says Kitzhaber’s plan for healthcare reform includes putting all public employees in one insurance pool. “The governor is concerned not to undermine the leverage of a larger system,” he says. “The governor is working on a transformational health-care reform,” OUS’s Kenton tells WW. “The problem is, students

are paying for it.” To compensate the universities, Kitzhaber says he will add $20 million to OUS’s budget. That requires the approval of lawmakers, some of whom would rather help OUS cut health-care costs than shovel more general-fund dollars into an inefficient system. “Autonomy was supposed to bring efficiencies,” Johnson says. “That’s not happening here.”

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“THE TERROR FACTORY” THIS WEEK’S TRIAL WILL DETERMINE IF THE FBI ENTRAPPED THE CHRISTMAS TREE BOMBER. This week, the man federal officials say tried to bomb the Pioneer Courthouse Square Christmas tree lighting ceremony more than two years ago finally goes on trial. The defendant is Mohamed Osman Mohamud, who was a disaffected 19-year-old Oregon State University student when, federal officials say, he tried to set off a bomb as thousands of people gathered downtown for the ceremony on Nov. 26, 2010. The trial will receive national attention—largely because it will replay the drama of how Portland might have faced a yuletide 9/11. Federal officials will portray Mohamud’s arrest as yet another victory in their fight against terrorism. Mohamud’s defense will argue that it was the FBI that put a phony detonator in his hands, gave him cash to buy materials (and even pay his rent) while nudging him toward the actions he would have never taken on his own. Now, a new book argues the arrest and trial of Mohamud are part of a larger strategy, one in which the FBI used a cookie-cutter method it has been applying across the nation to create “terrorists” where there is none. That’s the conclusion investigative journalist Trevor Aaronson draws in his searing new book, The Terror Factory: Inside the FBI’s Manufactured War on Terrorism. His book shadows the start of Mohamud’s bomb-plot trial, set to begin Jan. 10 in U.S. District Court in Portland. Aaronson’s book is an outgrowth of his awardwinning 2011 Mother Jones cover story about the FBI’s counterterrorism program. Aaronson’s book shows that Mohamud—who faces a life sentence if convicted—had Al Qaeda sympathies, but was hardly capable of pulling off a terrorist act without the FBI and its informants pushing him into it.

Of the cases of 508 defendants he’s examined, Aaronson writes, “I could count on one hand the number of actual terrorists.” The rest, he writes, are like Mohamud: victims of a network of more than 15,000 FBI informants backed by $3 billion a year to infiltrate Muslim communities and create terrorists who aren’t there. Aaronson found that FBI officials—while sincere in their determination to prevent terrorist attacks—are nonetheless seeking to justify the massive amounts of money spent on the war on terror. But with intelligence agencies from several nations focused on Al Qaeda, Aaronson says, the FBI concluded a large-scale, 9/11-style attack wasn’t likely. Instead, the agency has become obsessed with the prospect of a lonewolf attack by a radicalized sympathizer. WW is publishing an excerpt from Aaronson’s book about the Portland case that speaks to a troubling pattern in many of the FBI’s other terrorist cases: missing evidence. Namely, FBI recordings of meetings with their targets are often missing, Aaronson shows, because of what the FBI claims are “recorder malfunctions.” As he points out, these “failures” repeatedly occur at key moments— such as when FBI informants first meet their targets—as happened in the Mohamud case. These are the moments that might best prove federal agents improperly lured their targets into phony plots. Yet, at the same time, Aaronson argues, Mohamud’s attorneys’ cries of entrapment—based on other trials— are probably doomed to fail. ANDREA DAMEWOOD. CONT. on page 14 Willamette Week JANUARY 9, 2013 wweek.com

MOHAMED

CONT.

ecause so many of the informants that the FBI uses in terrorism stings are men with histories of crime, fraud and deception—in short, not the most credible people to put on a witness stand during a trial—the Bureau relies heavily on secretly recording the conversations between its informants and the individuals they target. When an informant lacks credibility or has a financial interest in gaining a conviction, a taped conversation showing the target going along with the plot can often make up for those deficiencies with a jury. As a result, in the terrorism sting cases that have gone to trial since 9/11, prosecutors have played hours of taped conversations between informants and targets for juries. However, in analyzing these cases, I noticed a disturbing pattern of conversations between informants and targets not being recorded at the most suspicious of times. These “missing recordings” seem to occur at either the beginning of a sting, when informants are establishing their relationships with targets—a period of time defense lawyers consider crucial to determining whether the government induced or entrapped the defendant—or when the target is thinking of backing out of the plot or otherwise doing something that has the potential to undermine the government’s case. No matter what part of a sting goes unrecorded, the government routinely blames “recorder malfunction” for the lapse. The most egregious example of the mysterious and persistent FBI trend of recorder malfunction happened when two separate terrorism sting cases, located 2,800 miles apart from each other, converged in a most unexpected way in 2010. The first sting centered on an Oregon party boy who developed a peculiar hatred for the United States. Mohamed Osman Mohamud, a young Somali American, attended Oregon State University in Corvallis. He prayed at the Salman al-Farisi mosque, but many of his fellow congregants kept their distance from him, as Mohamud pushed an extreme, 100-year-old Sunni brand of Islam known as Salafism— whose adherents, among them Osama bin Laden and other Al Qaeda leaders, seek to emulate the ways of the Prophet Mohammed and the earliest days of Islam. Mohamud, however, led a life at odds with that of his religion, drinking alcohol and engaging in premarital sex, two activities prohibited under most interpretations of the Koran. It was Mohamud’s partying that first brought him to the attention of the FBI. On the day after Halloween 2009, a woman reported to the Oregon State Police that Mohamud had raped her after a party the night before. Other students at the party told police that Mohamud and the woman had been together, dancing, flirting and drinking, and at the end of the night, they had left together. Nothing seemed to

be wrong between them, the witnesses said. But the next morning, the woman told the police that she believed she had been drugged—a stranger, she said, had given her a beer at the party that might have been spiked with something— because she couldn’t remember the details of having sex with Mohamud. (A test for any type of date rape drugs later came back negative.) That evening, Oregon State Police asked Mohamud, then 18, to come to the campus police station for questioning. At the station, Mohamud told police he hadn’t drugged or raped the woman, but said that they had gone to the party and then had consensual sex afterward. Police released Mohamud without charging him, but the next day, they called him back to the station to submit to a polygraph examination, which Mohamud agreed to. What he didn’t know as he took the test was that FBI agents were watching from another room, where they heard Mohamud discuss his personal background, educational plans, family and opinions of Somalia. “Mohamud is very concerned that his parents will freak out if they find out about the investigation or his use of drugs and alcohol,” an FBI agent wrote in a report following the polygraph. Mohamud agreed to allow officers to search his laptop and his mobile phone. What Mohamud didn’t know was that the Oregon State Police later gave a disk to the FBI containing four folders from his hard drive as well as three pages of information from his cellphone. The Oregon State Police did not charge Mohamud with a crime following the rape investigation.

o this day, the FBI has not disclosed why it was interested in a date rape suspect at OSU and what information was on Mohamud’s laptop and cellphone. The only fact the Bureau has revealed was that agents believed Mohamud was corresponding by email with a man in Northwest Pakistan, an area known for harboring terrorists, about a religious school in Yemen. In June 2010, more than six months after the rape investigation was closed, the FBI placed Mohamud on the federal no-fly list, at which time FBI agents interviewed him and he disclosed his intention to travel to Yemen.

Willamette Week JANUARY 9, 2013 wweek.com

CONT.

Later that month, on June 23, 2010, the FBI sting operation began in earnest. The FBI believed that Mohamud had tried, but failed, to contact terrorists in Pakistan by email. An FBI informant then emailed Mohamud, pretending to be part of the terrorist group he’d reportedly been trying to reach, claiming to have received Mohamud’s email address from the man he was trying to contact in Pakistan. The email read, in part and in all lowercase letters: “sorry for the delay in our communication, we’ve been on the move… are you still able to help the brothers?” Mohamud replied to the email, but was skeptical. Mohamud wanted “to make sure you are not a spy yourself,” he wrote, and asked how the email’s author knew the man he’d been emailing. The undercover agent said he’d heard about Mohamud and received his email address from a mutual acquaintance, explaining cryptically that “a brother from Oregon who is now far away vouched for you.” Mohamud agreed to meet with the man he believed was a terrorist in Portland on July 30, 2010. At the meeting, Mohamud told an undercover agent that he had written some articles that had been published in Jihad Recollections, a pro-Al Qaeda magazine. The undercover FBI agent asked Mohamud what he was willing to do for the cause. Mohamud, who told the agent he “wanted to wage war in the U.S.,” said he had been dreaming since he was 15 years old about training with Al Qaeda in Yemen. If he wanted to get involved, the undercover agent told Mohamud, he had several options. He could pray five times a day and spread the word about Islam. He could continue studying, obtain his medical degree and assist Al Qaeda as a doctor. He could raise money for terrorists overseas. Or he could become operational today, becoming a shaheed, or martyr. Mohamud chose the last option, saying he wanted to put together an explosive device. The FBI agent told Mohamud to research possible targets, and that they’d meet again soon. You would think this critical encounter, the first inperson meeting between Mohamud and an undercover agent, would have been recorded, but it wasn’t. The FBI did set up audio and video equipment, but due to a “malfunction,” they weren’t able to record the meeting. All the information about what was said is based on the FBI agent’s memory.

MOHAMED

being harmed or killed. “That’s what I’m looking for—a huge mass,” he replied. “Attacked in their own element.” He’d push the button to detonate the bomb, the agents asked, even with children in the blast zone? “Yes, I will push the button,” he answered. “When I see the enemy of Allah, then you know their bodies are torn everywhere.” The following month, September 2010, Mohamud met again with the two agents, who told him that the plan was moving forward and asked him to find a suitable area to plant the bomb near Pioneer Square and to purchase some components for the weapon, including two Nokia prepaid cellphones, a toggle switch and a nine-volt battery connector. They explained to Mohamud how the bomb would work: He’d place it at the target, then dial a cellphone to detonate the weapon remotely. “When you dial that phone number, all of this is going to be gone,” the second undercover agent said, referring to the two blocks around Pioneer Square.

espite his supposed desire to “wage war in the U.S.,” without the FBI’s assistance, not only was Mohamud incapable of becoming a terrorist, since he lacked the skills necessary to build a bomb or the money and contacts to obtain weapons, he was on the verge of being thrown into the streets, as he was broke and running behind on the rent for his apartment. But the FBI didn’t let those details stall the sting operation, as the undercover agents gave Mohamud $2,700 to cover his rent and another $110 for the bomb components. On Oct. 3, 2010, Mohamud dropped off the bomb components the undercover agents had requested. The undercover agents picked up Mohamud that same day and drove him to a hotel. He described Pioneer Square to them in detail and then laid out a plan, including where they should plant the bomb. CONT. on page 16

hree weeks after that first meeting, Mohamud and the undercover agent met in a hotel room, and this time the recording equipment worked. Joining the FBI agent on this occasion was a second undercover agent who was posing as a weapons expert. Mohamud had done what he’d been told to do during the first meeting and came with a target in mind. “Pioneer Square, like, Portland, is, like, the main meeting—they have a 26th of November Christmas lighting and some 250,000 people come,” Mohamud told the agents. The undercover agents asked Mohamud whether he was concerned that such a target could result in children Willamette Week JANUARY 9, 2013 wweek.com

MOHAMED

CONT.

“It’s gonna be a fireworks show,” Mohamud said, showing agents pictures on his laptop of specific parking spots near Pioneer Square. He handed one of the agents a thumb drive with the images. The undercover agents then demonstrated to Mohamud how to detonate the bomb once he had it in position. “Do you remember when 9/11 happened, when those people were jumping from skyscrapers? I thought that was awesome,” Mohamud told them. “I want to see that; that’s what I want for these people. I want whoever is attending that event to leave, to leave either dead or injured.” The undercover agents then recorded a video of Mohamud in which he threatened the United States, praised Allah and read a poem. On Nov. 23, 2010, the undercover agents drove Mohamud to a storage unit they had rented to store the bomb materials, which included two barrels, a gasoline can, electrical wires and a large box of screws. The three of them loaded the materials into the car, as well as reflective traffic markers, hard hats, safety glasses, vests and gloves—all props for their cover. Three days later, on Nov. 26, the day of the Christmas tree lighting ceremony, the agents met Mohamud in a hotel room. The bomb was now assembled, though Mohamud didn’t know it was inert. “Beautiful,” he said of the weapon. Mohamud and the undercover agents put the bomb in the car and drove to Pioneer Square, which was packed with people. They parked in one of the spots Mohamud had scouted out, then walked away from the vehicle, hard hats on so as not to raise suspicion. From a safe distance, Mohamud dialed the number that he believed would detonate the bomb. It failed. He dialed again. That’s when FBI agents rushed in and arrested him. He kicked and screamed as he was surrounded. “Allahu Akbar!” he yelled. “God is great! Allahu Akbar!” Announcements of terrorism stings always make for big news in the cities in which they occur, but Mohamud’s arrest—involving a bomb plot in a crowded downtown area—drew more interest than most. It immediately made national news, splashing across the front pages of news-

Willamette Week JANUARY 9, 2013 wweek.com

papers and getting covered by every broadcast and cabletelevision news outlet in the country.

t is at this point that the Mohamud case converged with another FBI terrorism sting. Antonio Martinez was a 22-year-old who, with the help of an informant and an undercover FBI agent, was plotting to bomb a military recruiting center outside Baltimore. Martinez was one of the millions of people who heard the news of Mohamud’s arrest in Oregon. At the time, he was the unknowing target of an FBI sting that seemed just like the one that had ensnared Mohamud. After seeing news of Mohamud’s arrest, Martinez became worried. Was he, too, being lured into a trap? On Nov. 27, 2010, the day after Mohamud’s arrest, Martinez called his supposed terrorist contact, explaining that he had seen a story on the news about a man in Portland who had tried to detonate a bomb. The whole thing was a setup, Martinez told his contact, and he needed to know what was going on with their operation in Baltimore. “I’m not falling for no BS,” he said. His contact was an FBI informant who told Martinez they should meet in person. He agreed. In the entire sting, this meeting was the most important one, as Martinez had grown suspicious and was ready to back out of the plot. What would the FBI operative say to Martinez to keep him on board? We’ll never know because their conversation wasn’t recorded. In an affidavit, the FBI blamed this on a recorder malfunction. Whatever the informant said during this unrecorded meeting, his words were enough to calm down Martinez. The next day, Martinez told the informant by phone: “I’m just ready to move forward.” A week later, Martinez was arrested in a scene almost identical to Mohamud’s. He tried to detonate a car bomb remotely. It failed. When he tried a second time, FBI agents arrested him.

f you take a close look at the more than 150 terrorism stings the FBI has engaged in since 9/11, you’ll find missing recordings in nearly every one. While some are like the Martinez case— an important meeting going unrecorded due to what is reported to be recorder malfunction—more often, it is the initial encounters between the informant and the target, a critical time in a sting operation, that aren’t recorded. Defense lawyers have repeatedly used unrecorded conversations in trying to sell juries on entrapment defenses, arguing that these meetings, if taped, would have contained statements that proved the FBI’s informant came up with the idea for the plot and induced the targets into moving forward with it. But juries so far haven’t bought that argument. Since 9/11, approximately 50 terrorism defendants in those 150 stings have been involved in plots in which the informant could fairly be described as an agent provocateur, someone who provided not only the plan but also the means and opportunity for the terrorist plot. Ten of these defendants have formally argued entrapment during their trials. Yet none of these defendants was successful in convincing a jury that they’d been entrapped, that is, that they wouldn’t have committed their crimes were it not for the FBI informant instigating them in the first place. If the only effective measure is based on court verdicts, then terrorism sting operations have become a proven product for the Bureau. And this product carries another benefit: A terrorism sting gives the FBI, under pressure to show results, something to hold up—a dangerous terrorist caught on tape, convicted at trial, sentenced to decades in prison—as evidence to the public that it is doing its job to safeguard the United States from another attack.

GO: Trevor Aaronson will appear at Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., on Monday, Jan. 21. 7:30 pm. Free.

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FOOD: The horror of a hot dog-filled taco. MUSIC: This crew was EDM before EDM was cool. THEATER: A tour through James Beard’s Portland. MOVIES: Zero Dark Thirty isn’t all waterboarding.

23 27 35 38

SCOOP F L I C K R .CO M / PAG E N T

GOSSIP WITH THE GUTS TO GO PRO. SAVING SPACE: Our great local nightmare is over, and it didn’t even take a dramatic last-minute twist. Last month, Backspace—Portland’s only all-ages music venue—appeared to be on the verge of eviction unless it could raise $10,000 to pay fees related to delinquent rent by Jan. 1. The club launched an Indiegogo campaign and, bolstered by donations from local bands like Typhoon, STRFKR, the Dandy Warhols and others, got the money together with time to spare. So what happens now? Aside from co-hosting the free, two-day Big Ass Boombox regional pop festival this week, owner Eric Robison hopes this recent scare will BACKSPACE act as a “wake-up call” to the music community. “Then we can promote properly and do all these things to strengthen what we do,” Robison told WW in December. “Short of that, we can always put in a couple stripper poles.” STRAYED VS. STORM: The nominees for Literary Arts Oregon Book Awards are out and the most intriguing matchup is in creative nonfiction, where Dear Sugar advice columnist Cheryl Strayed faces reality-TV star Storm Large. Strayed’s book Wild, about the time she hiked part of the Pacific Crest Trail after a breakup, is an Oprah Book Club pick set to be a movie starring Reese Witherspoon. Large’s book, Crazy Enough, discusses the craziness of her mother and the immense width of her vagina.

FUTURE EATING: Cocktail haunt Central (220 SW Ankeny St.) might be closed, but it looks like the frontage won’t go fallow for long. Central owner Dustin Knox has told WW he’s planning to open a windowfront eatery much better suited to the sodden neighborhood. The deeply refined and tasteful name? Uncle Dick’s Deep Fried Hot Dogs. Speaking of which, there’s a familiar name on an OLCC application for a KNOX new Southern food joint called Church at 2600 NE Sandy Blvd. Listed as a minority investor is someone named Scott Thomason. However, majority owner Brian Block confirmed that’s not the once-ubiquitous Scott Thomason who was pushed out as CEO of his own auto group in 2002, and who was recently involved in a failed bid to help former Blazers player Terry Porter buy his old team. 20

Willamette Week JANUARY 9, 2013 wweek.com

DARRYL JAMES

MEDIATHEQUE?: Coming in 2015, Portland theatergoers can expect a new black-box venue in the North Park Blocks. Slated to be part of Pacific Northwest College of Art’s expansion into the former post office building at 511 NW Broadway, the 200-seat facility will have fully flexible seating for a mixture of college and community programming. The venue—which PNCA cutely refers to as the “Mediatheque”—will expand the college’s community partnerships. Though it’s too soon to say which local performing arts organizations might use the space, PNCA’s Lisa Radon predicts the venue will host experimental rather than traditional theater. “The space will be really conducive to that,” she says.

HEADOUT PHOTOMANIPUL

AT I O N B Y W W S TA F F

WILLAMETTE WEEK

WHAT TO DO THIS WEEK IN ARTS & CULTURE

THURSDAY JAN. 10 COMICS UNDERGROUND [COMICS] Bringing comics to life on stage with a microphone and a projector, Comics Underground will be hosting Marvel Comics illustrator Colleen Coover (Gingerbread Girl), Fantagraphics staﬀer and Menstruation Station creator Jen Vaughn and web-comics creator Jake Ryan (Modest Medusa, which is about a tiny Medusa who comes out of a toilet). Jack London Bar, 529 SW 4th Ave. 8 pm. $3. 21+. HOVERCRAFT RECORDS SHOWCASE [MUSIC] The Portland indie-punk label displays its wares, with sets from revived power-poppers the Clorox Girls, swingin’ girl group the Suicide Notes, surf-rock misﬁts Guantanamo Baywatch and more. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., 231-9663. 9 pm. $5. 21+.

FRIDAY JAN. 11 SLINGSHOT [COMEDY] Sketch-comedy virtuosos Shelley McClendon and Michael Fetters, collectively known as the Aces, inaugurate a new comedy series called Slingshot, a collaboration between Bad Reputation Productions and Portland Center Stage. Channeling a brand of comedy that’s both hammy and smart, McClendon and Fetters were last seen together in the very funny The Lost Boys Live. Ellyn Bye Studio at the Armory, 128 NW 11th Ave., 445-3700. 8 pm. $18-$20.

GAGA IN HISTORY SHE’S ALWAYS BEEN WITH US.

THE LOST BOY [THEATER] Child snatchers and circus freaks collide in this worldpremiere production of Susan Mach’s Oregon Book Award-winning play, based on the true kidnapping of a four-year-old boy in 1874. Artists Repertory Theatre, 1515 SW Morrison St., 241-1278. 7:30 pm. $25-$50. BIG ASS BOOMBOX FESTIVAL [MUSIC] A music festival with an all-ages component, emphasizing Portland talent and free to the public? Sounds like PDX Pop Now! But in the freezing winter months, that annual Stumptown summer spectacular feels eons away. Thankfully, Big Ass Boombox is here to help you gorge on live local music six months early, bringing together such homegrown heavyweights as And And And, Destroy Nate Allen and Animal Eyes, a handful of acts from Seattle, and a literary stage, hosting readings from regional writers and poets. Multiple venues. See bigassboombox.com for a complete schedule. Through Saturday, Jan. 12.

SUNDAY JAN. 13 SEE IT: Lady Gaga plays the Rose Garden Arena, 1 N Center Court St., No. 150, on Tuesday, Jan. 15. 7:30 pm. $49.50-$175. All ages.

DOWN & DIRTY: A DARK COMEDY SHOWCASE [COMEDY] Some local comedians work blue; others tell jokes about Xanax addiction and almost killing themselves. It’s all funny until a body turns up. Ash Street Saloon, 225 SW Ash St., 226-0430. 9 pm. $5. Willamette Week JANUARY 9, 2013 wweek.com

FOOD & DRINK EAT MOBILE V. K A P O O R

= WW Pick. Highly recommended. By MITCH LILLIE. PRICES: $: Most entrees under $10. $$: $10-$20. $$$: $20-$30. $$$$: Above $30. Editor: MARTIN CIZMAR. Email: dish@wweek.com. See page 3 for submission instructions.

WEDNESDAY, JAN. 9 Food Adventure With wChef Paley

Chef Vitaly Paley is one of the icons of the Portland food scene, thanks to the wildly popular Paley’s Place. But his popularity is no surprise. He’s Russian-born, French-trained and with his latest project, Imperial, American-focused: a combination that screams of Portland. Guests at this event will get the chance to get up close and personal with Chef Paley and hear the motivations and desires behind his dishes. Also included in the price are gift certificates to Chef Paley’s favorite spots around Portland, including Autentica and Grilled Cheese Grill. Imperial, 410 SW Broadway, 2287222. 6 pm. $125.

SATURDAY, JAN. 12 Chocolate Walk

UPCOMING IN-STORE PERFORMANCES ARCHIE PATTERSON

BOOK SIGNING AND READING

EUROCK - EUROPEAN ROCK AND THE SECOND CULTURE

SATURDAY 1/12 @ 4 PM

The book ‘Eurock - European Rock & the Second Culture’ chronicles Archie Patterson’s history of work in pioneering media coverage on the Krautrock scene, releasing music by the “banned” Czech group Plastic People of the Universe, and much more. Archie ran Music Millennium’s import distribution operation - Intergalactic Trading Company (ITC) - from 1976-1980. In the wake of his 65th birthday, Archie will be back at Music Millennium for a book signing and talk, reliving a bit of that history. All those who care to join him for this event and birthday party are welcome…He’ll be happy ya all came down…

BRANDON CARMODY SUNDAY 1/13 @ 5 PM

Brandon Carmody is a pianist and songwriter who has been performing his original music in Portland, Oregon for 20 years. Over the span of his career, Brandon has been awarded “Best Music” in both the 48 Hour Film Project and the Mid Valley Film Festival. ‘Land of Winter’ features 10 full-length instrumental songs, including classics from his career such as “The Final Farewell” and “Voices.”

IAMDYNAMITE

FRIDAY 1/18 @ 6 PM

SEE THEM LATER THAT NIGHT @ THE ROSELAND Iamdynamite have established themselves as a rock and roll force to be reckoned with. The musicianship is solid, the tunes are irresistible and their energy on stage has been appropriately described as “feverishly fun.” On ‘Supermegafantastic,’ armed with only a simple electric guitar and drum kit, the high energy duo whips their way through thirty-three minutes of raucous indie rock that’s chock full of clever harmonies, ‘70s psychedelic guitar riffs, bombastic drums and undeniable dance hooks for one of the most infectious, groove laden debuts in years.

Willamette Week JANUARY 9, 2013 wweek.com

Walking for three hours while eating chocolate might seem hypocritical, but this isn’t a run-ofthe-mill power walk and Hershey’s bar. In fact, it may not be any type of solid chocolate at all. The tour will stop at a minimum of six Pearl District and West End establishments—from bustling hubs like Powell’s and the Rogue Distillery and Public House, to homier locales like creamery Ruby Jewel and Cacao—drinking, sipping, munching and boozing chocolate along the way. Historical facts about chocolate and Portland will be announced by choco-tour veteran and science educator Savina Darzes, who, hopefully, will be walking backward. Various locations. 1-4:30 pm. $49. 21+ Visit chocolatetastingandmore. com for details.

SUNDAY, JAN. 13 Ninkasi Tap Takeover

Beer, the new bar from beloved local sandwich shop Meat Cheese Bread, is now open. And for its first special event, you can only drink beer from Eugene’s Ninkasi Brewing. This ritual is known as a “tap takeover,” and we kinda hate it, but the bar will surely plan some cool events in the future. This lasts for one night or as long as it takes to crush the kegs. Beer, 1410 SE Stark St., 233-2337, facebook.com/ BeerPortland. 5 pm.

TUESDAY, JAN. 15 FoodWorx

Futurist food conference FoodWorx won’t feature any of Star Trek’s food replicators—yet. In fact, the conference is less about molecular gastronomy than the changing food-business climate, from farmto-table supply chains, to starting an artisan food business, to ethical restaurants. There’ll be plenty of tables to explore, from Portland and around the country. IBM’s Brian David Johnson speaking about the future of food and computers is about as sci-fi as it’ll get, apart from the iPad mini being given away. Renowned food critic Karen Brooks will be on hand, patting Portland’s food scene on the back and promoting her sunny new book, The Mighty Gastropolis: Portland. Discounted tickets for I Love to Eat, a play about Portland chef and writer James Beard, will be available for conferencegoers. Gerding Theater, 128 NW 11th Ave., 445-3700. 8:30 am-4:30 pm. $129.

SKIP SPINNING CLASS: Ride to Moberi instead.

MOBERI How does a cart sell smoothies in rainy, tightfisted Portland? Any chump with a Cuisinart, bananas, Nutella, ice and yogurt can press “blend” in the warmth of his own home. So Moberi has a twist. The Rose City Food Park cart uses Schwinn exercise bikes with spindles attached to blenders—one out front; a more powerful, finicky version inside—to make the smoothies. Owner Ryan Carpenter has been pedaling through customers’ fruit and ice for over two years, but it’s warmer to spend a minute spinning it for yourself. “You get a lot more control with the bike,” he Order this: A self-blended Moberi ($5.75). says as I peddle for a silky Peanut Butter Best deal: The filling Cup whey protein shake ($6). Peanut Butter Cup shake But this isn’t just some one-trick, ($6). two-wheeled pony. Classic smoothies, I’ll pass: Anything not bike-powered—at least like the berry-and-yogurt Moberi until summer. ($5.75), are delicious. Kale, ginger and apple are the dominant flavors in the earthy but refreshing Turtle Power ($5.75). But the most ambitious of the bunch is the Uncle Jesse ($5.75), a mix of strawberries, mint, dates, avocado and coconut milk. Fresh and cold, it’s low on flavor and filled with hard date chunks, but as it warms and the dates thaw, the taste becomes memorable if subtle. Juices ($4-$6.50) and health shots ($2) are available as well, though none involve a velo-vortex, and ultimately that is Moberi’s selling point. Pedal your own drink hard enough and these smoothies are refreshing in any season. MITCH LILLIE. EAT: Moberi is part of the Rose City Food Park, 5221 NE Sandy Blvd., moberismoothies.com. 11:30 am-7 pm Tuesday-Saturday. $.

DRANK

O’DARK:30 (OAKSHIRE BREWING) Oakshire’s O’Dark:30 is a brew born of war. Like other beers of the newish style known locally as Cascadian Dark Ale, it represents an audacious plot to force an alliance between piney, resinous Northwest hops and the dark malts of a porter or stout. In theory, this will create an exciting beer that’s pleasantly hoppy with a toasty richness. But, on the ground, there’s an uneasy truce and things get messy. Most CDAs are volatile flavor-bombs full of tangled wires that can lay waste to your palate on the first sip. I found Eugene’s O’Dark:30 overly bitter, with an unpleasant astringency and too much smokiness. Then again, I have a similar opinion about Stone’s Sublimely Self-Righteous Ale, widely considered the style’s standard. Wonky brewers have waged battles about what to call the style—outside Oregon, they’re Black IPAs or American Black Ales. Before we settle that, I’d like someone to prove this quagmire is worth the trouble. Not recommended. MARTIN CIZMAR.

FOOD & DRINK

Portland’s Original Wing Joint Heated patio with fireplace open year-round at Fremont

LEAHNASH.COM

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Make sure to try our delicious pizza and house-brewed beers. (pizza at Fremont only)

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Restaurant & Brewery NE 57th at Fremont 503-894-8973

TRIGGERVILLE: Searching for my lost shaker of salt.

4225 N. Interstate Ave. 503.280.WING (9464)

SOUTHWEST BY NORTHWEST The smoked pork shoulder quesadilla at Trigger—the Bunk Bar crew’s new Tex-Mex-ish joint underneath Wonder Ballroom— is far from what one might expect from that classic modified grilled-cheese sandwich. But it’s exactly what one would ask for from chef Tommy Habetz: a full-flavored, playful updating of a Order this: Pork shoulder low-rent snack. With sumptuous quesadilla ($9.50). Guacamole hazelnut mole and chili crema, and house chips ($6). the dish blends local ingredients I’ll pass: Avoid that hot dog. and Mexican flavors to achieve a subtle richness more at home in a savory crepe than in the brash, meaty world of Texas-style Mexican food. Two months after opening, not everything at Trigger is so good. A Tex-Mex place will always live and die by its fajitas, and it’s here that Trigger’s faults and virtues show most clearly. The strips of smoked hanger steak ($14) had beautiful charring and spice, the fresh guacamole was exceptional and the sour-cream sauce was delicate and citrus-y. But on a busy Saturday, the meat was served lukewarm and closer to medium than medium rare; the tortillas and veggies were likewise tepid. In a restaurant that embraces the unabashed kitsch of TexMex, it’s a shame to lose the joyous spectacle (not to mention utility) of fajitas served sizzling on a platter. Among the tacos ($4), the terrific fish taco—even with a substitution from rockfish to one seriously massive breaded shrimp—boasts welcome, unexpected flavors in an old standby, bringing the bright tang of pineapple and jalapeño slaw to bear on the shrimp’s earthy, Southern-style breading. The breading was a bit burnt on our fried avocado taco, however, and the hot dog-stuffed hard-shell taco was an unfortunate piece of whimsy. The flavors and textures don’t blend at all: You bite into a taco only to discover you are eating a hot dog instead. What a strange and awful world. Of course, it is also rare that a casual, midpriced Tex-Mex bar would be subjected to such scrutiny, and this is a sign of Portland’s breathless expectations for Bunk-related fare. In its first weeks, Trigger also received pointed online criticisms for not using housemade tortilla chips; the restaurant responded, and the current chips are blessedly fresh and airy. The margaritas—fresh or frozen—are fundamentally sound and appropriately potent. The Side Pipe—not a Trigger innovation, but unfamiliar in these parts—includes a mini-bottle of Corona perched upside down in the 20-ounce drink. The beer stays magically inside its bottle until the margarita goes empty, at which point the beer takes its lime from the drink’s froth as it empties into the chalice. It is an almost affecting piece of alcoholic camp, and an indicator of what Trigger could become if it smooths out its inconsistencies: a cheerily populist balancing act, imbued with lowbrow sport and no small amount of wonder. MATTHEW KORFHAGE.

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Willamette Week JANUARY 9, 1013 wweek.com

CULTURE

WORDS

PORTLAND AUTHOR PATRICK DEWITT GOT HIS BREAK THROUGH FREE DRINKS. BY BE N B I SH O P

243-2122

Before he made it to Portland, novelist Patrick deWitt tried to leave Los Angeles six times. Six times he swore he was bailing for good. Six times he was sucked back into the city’s black hole. The author, who broke through with 2011’s The Sisters Brothers and is preparing a new novel, spent the nights of this interminable tenure working as a barback, writing in his spare time. Laboring in obscurity and inundated with scenes of loneliness and depravity, deWitt spun the bleakness of bar life into his first novel, Ablutions, a work he describes as semiautobiographical. He thought it was good, but had no idea how to pursue publication. Then one night a friend cruised into the bar with another guy in tow. Sitting in the living room of deWitt’s North Portland apartment, surrounded by his vinyl collection and the flotsam of his son’s toys, I listen to the tale of the night he got his break. “I knew this guy could help me,” deWitt says, running a slender hand through his sandy blond hair. “So, I gave him a bunch of free drinks and got him very drunk. At the end of the night, I asked him if he would read my novel.” He paused, his face a mask. “He was unhappy about this.” Turns out the guy in the bar was D.V. DeVincentis, the screenwriter behind High Fidelity. This is how DeVincentis tells it: “I was sitting at a bar in Hollywood at around 3:30 or 4 am. Bars in L.A. close at 2, so it can be assumed that there was stupid shit going on and no one was supposed to be there. Some guy came up to me and asked me if I was me, which I confirmed. He told me he liked my writing, and that he was

recycling bin 20 yards away with the rest of the unsolicited contents of my mailbox and toss it, but that I’d be a real sport and read what I could of it along the path there.” By the time he got to the recycling bin, he was hooked. “I stood there reading for about 40 minutes, the manuscript laid out on top of the stinky recycling bin, before finally realizing that I should just take it inside and finish it.” DeVincentis’ enthusiasm for Ablutions set in motion a series of events that would lead deWitt to his agent. In the meantime, deWitt finally broke free of L.A.’s gravity and wound up living on an island near Seattle, commuting three hours a day by boat to work a construction job. When he got word his book had finally sold, he went into shock. “I got an email with a number that represented enough [money] for me to quit my day job, and I remember almost forcing a feeling,” he says. “I remember walking out to tell my mom in the garden and wondering why I didn’t feel better about it. It was a moment I’d imagined so many times that when it actually came to pass… it was anti-climactic.” Eager to get away from Seattle, deWitt used his advance to move his family to Portland and started work on what became The Sisters Brothers, a taut Western that would end up being short-listed for the Man Booker Prize (deWitt is Canadian) and subsequently finding its way onto The New York Times bestseller list. The Sisters Brothers relays the journey of Eli and Charlie Sisters, assassins in pursuit of an eccentric miner with a name so absurdly wonderful I snorted milk through my nose the first time I read it. Narrated by Eli, the novel has the crackle of omniscience. I offered this to deWitt. “Eli is uncannily overinformed,” he agreed. “It was hard to get to the point of knowing him, but then one day I knew him very well. Once you get to know these people, you just let them go and see what happens. It’s like watching rats in a cage. You

“ODDS AND EXPERIENCE SAID THAT THIS WOULD BE A TERRIBLE BOOK.” —D.V. DEVINCENTIS also a writer, and would I read something that he’d written. This guy was on the other side of the bar, so he held all the power in the setting. I told him, sure, I’d read it. He gave me a drink, I gave him my address and I forgot about it.” Some days later, DeVincentis received deWitt’s manuscript in the mail. He was unhappy about this. “Odds and experience said that this would be a terrible book,” DeVincentis says. “This is because almost all books and scripts and audition tapes and demo tapes are terrible. The unique situation in which I’d received the manuscript made the prospects of it being any good even more hopeless than usual. I decided right there that I would take the manuscript directly to the 26

Willamette Week JANUARY 9, 2013 wweek.com

just comment on what they do rather than force them to do any one specific thing.” DeWitt claims he didn’t set out to write a Western. “I read a Louis L’Amour book once, but I don’t remember what it was about,” he says. “When you’re ignorant of a subject, you’re relying 95 percent on imagination and instinct, and that’s where we’re happiest anyways. I understand the clichés and it was fun to address them, but it was also fun to make up a world that surely never existed.” He raised his eyebrows. “I mean, it’s fiction writing. You’re just making shit up.” In a testimony to just how much he relied on imagination, deWitt described the comparative enthusiasm his father brought to researching the history of the gold rush.

RONITPHOTO.COM

CLEAR THE BAR

CLEANSED BY SPIRIT: Patrick deWitt’s Ablutions came through alcohol.

“My father kept bringing me books about the gold rush and I didn’t even open them,” he says. “At one point, I was trying to figure out the location of [book character] Warm’s cabin, and my dad got out all these maps. He’s like, ‘Well, it could’ve been here. Or maybe over here.’ And I’m like, ‘Can you please just put your finger on a spot so I can just get on with my fucking life, man!?’” Readers are given virtually no background on the Sisters brothers, save that they are in the employ of a dark figure known as the Commodore. While traveling from Oregon City to San Francisco, they encounter characters and situations loosely modeled on the immediately recognizable templates of the pulp Western. Eli and Charlie bounce like flaming cannonballs from gunfights to campfire coffee, interacting with prostitutes, prospectors and prepubescent wagon train brats. Through their constant patter, deWitt channels to devastating effect the spirit of Charles Portis, whose True Grit sets the gold standard for the style of exceedingly mannered cowboy dialogue the brothers employ. It is in the oscillations of Eli’s disposition, between moments of gentleness and unbridled fits of pique, that the novel gains its deepest purchase. He is demure to the point of awkwardness with women, but

goaded to anger can become an instrument of violence so profound that numerous reviewers have drawn parallels between the brothers’ tale and the scorched work of Cormac McCarthy. In the wake of his success, deWitt has already begun work on a new book, roughly based on the European fables that he has been reading to his son. “They’re appealing to me because a lot of them are really perverse, negative and harsh, but often have an uplifting message as well,” he says. “They’re very straightforward, and they contain a lot of elements of the supernatural.” After an hour, having long since drained the complimentary mug of tap water deWitt provided me with, I began gathering my things. Before leaving, I asked if he was connected with any Portland writers. He’d apparently gone out with Willy Vlautin for drinks just a couple nights before. “I was sitting there drinking with him and a couple other writers, and I thought, ‘I need to get out more,’” he says. “The problem is, when I go out I tend to drink, and then I can’t write the next day.” GO: Patrick deWitt will read at Mississippi Records, 5202 N Albina Ave., on Saturday, Jan. 12, with Jon Raymond and Vanessa Veselka. 8 pm. Free.

MUSIC

JAN. 9–15 PROFILE

= WW Pick. Highly recommended.

C O U R T E S Y O F A A R O N M E O L A . D J A O B Y PAT T I M I L L E R .

Prices listed are sometimes for advance ticket sales. At-the-door increases and socalled convenience charges may apply. Event lineups are subject to change after WW’s press deadlines. Editor: MATTHEW SINGER. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, go to wweek.com/ submitevents and follow submission directions. All shows should be submitted two weeks or more in advance of event. Press kits, CDs and especially vinyl can be sent to Music Desk, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Please include show or release date information with all physical mailings. Email: msinger@wweek.com. Fax: 243-1115.

WEDNESDAY, JAN. 9 Hurray for the Riff Raff

[DIXIE FOLK] Alynda Lee has lived the life most Americana songwriters only mythologize. Born in the Bronx, she jumped a train down to New Orleans as a teenager, learned to play music from a bunch of hobo musicians, then went about starting her own Southern gothic folk band. She’s since scrubbed up from those raw beginnings. Look Out Mama, Hurray for the Riff-Raff ’s fourth record, is almost like a rustic Florence and the Machine album, framed by sweetly emotional arrangements, hand-clapping rhythms and Lee’s honeyed-yet-gritty voice. It’s ramshackle in spirit if not in sound, and a gripping honesty wriggles out from under the tight production. MATTHEW SINGER. Al’s Den at the Crystal Hotel, 303 SW 12th Ave., 972-2670. 7 pm. Free. Hurray for the Riff Raff plays nightly through Saturday, Jan 12. 21+.

THURSDAY, JAN. 10 Clorox Girls, Suicide Notes, BOOM!, Courtney and the Crushers, Guantanamo Baywatch, Hey Lover

[POWER PUNK] Clorox Girls have not fallen oﬀ the face of the earth, though

they’ve certainly lost a lot of momentum since 2007, when they looked to be one of the hottest bands in Portland. Frontman Justin Maurer is still apparently hawking dental supplies in Southern California, where the band has relocated. It’s still playing shows, and no one has died. Clorox Girls are as raucous and energetic as always, and though shows have been more scarce in Portland since their departure, maybe that’s a good thing. Diluting Clorox makes it last a lot longer, right? MITCH LILLIE. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., 231-9663. 9 pm. $5. 21+.

dKOTA, Melville, Spirit Lake

[DYSLEXIC ACOUSTIC] While the name may read more like the moniker of a Midwestern teen rap-metal band, dKOTA is a local ﬁve-piece, headed by singer-songwriter Dustin Johnsen, that trades in what might be broadly described as “Americana.” Despite an equally horrible name, the band’s selfreleased debut, The Self-Dyssimilar, makes up for its absence of spell check with a few really nice songs. Johnsen has an admirable vocal range, extending from breathy folk-crooning dueling with the band’s cellist to almost snarling wails against overdriven guitar, and takes the occasional psychedelic turn with some heavy mic reverb. But for my money, the group is

CONT. on page 28

TOP FIVE

BY M ATTH EW SI N GER

TOP FIVE DROPPING GEMS RELEASES Various Artists, Gem Drops I-II Featuring tracks from crew members, affiliates and like-minded fellow travelers, either of these interchangeable compilations makes an ideal entry point for wading into the Dropping Gems static bath. Genre is irrelevant, but the palette—watery atmospherics, cut-up hip-hop beats, deep-sea bleeps ’n’ bloops, synths that glow like extraterrestrial fauna—is universal. Natasha Kmeto, The Ache Arriving on a fluttering tornado of synthesizer notes and crash-landing at the intersection of ’90s R&B and post-millennial electronic pop, the buttery-voiced singer-producer steps out of the farmhouse like a computer-animated Dorothy, finger-snapping over hollowedout beats and otherworldly bass tones and offering a glance at the future of soul. Rap Class, Greatest Hits Like he stuck a USB cable directly into his cerebral cortex and uploaded every great break and song fragment he’s ever heard onto his hard drive at once, John Kammerle’s warmly nostalgic beat tape sends samples tripping and skipping over each other, creating a pileup of memories that must be what a hip-hop head’s CT scan sounds like. Citymouth, Holodecker One of DG’s OGs, Kris Geffen takes the pulse of the cosmos and proves dearly departed hip-hop progressivist (and beat-scene guiding light) J Dilla didn’t die, he just became one with the stars. Ghost Feet, Wires and Chords Appropriately for its name, this boy-girl pairing from Olympia makes shoegaze for people without feet. Programmed drums snap, crackle and shudder while plaintive guitars sulk in the shadows of spectral keyboard washes. It’s mournfully beatific, if that’s actually a thing. HEAR IT: Stream and download these albums at droppinggems. bandcamp.com.

PRECIOUS STONES: (Clockwise from top left) Natasha Kmeto, Ghost Feet, Gumar, DJAO.

DIAMOND MINDS DROPPING GEMS GIVES ELECTRONIC MUSIC A HUMAN PULSE. BY MATTHEW SIN GER

msinger@wweek.com

When Aaron Meola moved to Portland in 2009, electronic music in America was still the province of chin-scratching Anglophiles and molly-whopped rave kids. Dubstep’s infernal wub had not yet infected everything from candy commercials to Taylor Swift songs. Skrillex wasn’t winning Grammys, Deadmau5 wasn’t headlining stadiums, and nobody outside France knew who David Guetta was. In the years since, EDM—that’s electronic dance music— has become, undeniably, the defining youth movement of the late aughts. And that’s been a boon for Meola and his crew of electronic producers, collectively known as Dropping Gems. Not that the music of Dropping Gems has anything in common with that currently pulsating up the Billboard charts. The artists on the collectivecum-label’s roster aren’t interested in remixing Rihanna or popping bottles in posh Miami nightclubs. In ’60s parlance, the DG sound is “head music”—ethereal, textural, designed to move the mind before the body. To put it another way: “We’re not making dance music for drunk people,” says Alex Osuch, who records for Dropping Gems as DJAO. As detached as the group might feel from this era of superstar DJs, though, they admit the digitization of the Top 40 has had a trickle-down effect on the underground. “Three years ago, if the more mainstream club kid would’ve come out to one of our shows, it probably would’ve weirded them out,” says Meola, Dropping Gems’ bearded label manager. “Now, they’re a little more used to it.” Still, for the novice electrophile, the Dropping Gems discography must sound like transmissions from deep space. In a genre-obsessed subculture, DG skirts easy classification. Its aesthetic is probably closest to that of L.A.’s “beat scene,” in which hip-hop’s foundational elements are dismantled and fed through a cracked kaleidoscope of various EDM styles. But that description doesn’t quite fit the glitchy future-R&B of Natasha Kmeto, the

nostalgic sampladelica of Rap Class or the moody guitar-and-synth duo Ghost Feet. Ask Meola what unites the DG roster, and he doesn’t talk about units of sub-bass or beats per minute. “There’s a lot of emotion. There’s a lot of soul behind the music,” he says. “It’s not just a bunch of blasts. It’s not just a bunch of wobbles.” A Seattle native who spent his teenage years listening to radio rap and building car stereos (“My car was actually the eighth-loudest car in Washington state at one time,” he boasts) Meola enrolled at Evergreen State College in 2008, where he fell in with a loose conglomerate of beatmakers operating in Olympia’s barely perceptible electronic music scene. Although not a musician himself, Meola did have a strong organizational and visual sense— he’d previously made promo videos for Diplo and T-Pain—and when founding members Jonathan “Gumar” Tutt and John “Rap Class” Kammerle floated the idea of turning their blog into a label, Meola “just kind of went crazy with it,” Tutt says. After inaugurating Dropping Gems with a graduation party in Olympia, the crew, then five deep, migrated to Portland. It has since doubled in size, drawing in regional and local futurists like Kmeto, a vocalist and producer attracted by the DG mission statement of investing digital structures with human consciousness. “It’s challenging, but at the root of it, I felt like all of their releases are very emotional,” she says. The crowds have grown, too. “One thing I really like about Dropping Gems shows is we get the hipster kids; we get the burner kids; we get the zoners in the back,” Meola says. This year, the label is partnering with Seattle’s Fin Records to put out their first physical releases. But the best way to measure the imprint Dropping Gems has already made—and the spreading influence of electronic music in general—is to go back where it started. “There’s always been an amazing music scene in Olympia, but it wasn’t, like, electronic focused at all,” Meola says. “Now there’s regularly scheduled electronic nights that happen in Olympia. And you know all of those kids were the kids who were, like, 18, coming to the first DG shows there…. It’s cool to see a scene sprout out and become more mainstream and not be the fringe anymore.” SEE IT: The Dropping Gems Showcase, featuring Natasha Kmeto, Ghost Feet, Rap Class and more, is at Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison St., on Wednesday, Jan. 9. 8:30 pm. Free. 21+. Willamette Week JANUARY 9, 2013 wweek.com

MUSIC

thursday–saturday

Floater, Tiny Lady

at its best without the affectations. The album’s most memorable track, “A Shivvver Too Deep,” carries great emotional weight with just some pared-back strings and a soulful melody. RUTH BROWN. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 288-3895. 9 pm. $5. 21+.

8pm doors/ 9pm show BarBar all ages until 9pm 21+ unless otherwise noted

An evening of new short films by James Westby

WHAT IS YOUR OUTER SPACE NAME?

Wed, Jan 9 7:30pmDoors/8:30pmScreening FREE! Transcendental guitar from multi-talented artist of the Sun City Girls

SIR RICHARD BISHOP

AUDIOS AMIGOS BEN VON WILDENHAUS

Fri, Jan 11

Jack Daniels Presents Mississippin’ w/: Acoustic and alt-country from a trio of talents

DKOTA SPIRIT LAKE • MELVILLE

Thu, Jan 10

$5 Adv

An authentic Seattle voice of jazz, blues, and rock

PAULA BOGGS BAND

STEPHANIE SCHNEIDERMAN $10 Adv Sat, Jan 12 6:30pmDoors/7pmShow $10 Adv

A delectable dance party gone Clueless

OPBMusic Presents PDX/Rx: Hip-hop at its finest from local tastemakers

TxE Sat, Jan 12

10pm-2am

$5 DoS

101.9 KINK.FM Presents: Compelling voices of mountain gospel, doo-wop, and classic soul

BIRDS of CHICAGO JENN RAWLING & BASHO PARKS HUCK NOTARI

Wed, Jan 16 7pmDoors/8pmShow $10 Adv

VINNIE DEWAYNE MIC CAPES

Sun, Jan 13

FREE!

Square Peg Concerts Presents: Country favorites with songs of swagger and soul

RANDY ROGERS BAND WADE BOWEN

Thu, Jan 17 7pmDoors/8pmShow $20 Adv

Whiskey tinged country songs with timeless appeal

DENVER WIDOWER WHAT HEARTS

Fri, Jan 18

$8 Adv

Woodchuck Cider Sweet-n-Local Presents: Lush folk rock and dreamy soundscapes

THEMES

HEARTS AND MINUTES THE CASTE / GRAMMIES

Sat, Jan 19

$5 Adv

Alt-rock/folk artist making honest and affecting songs

JENNIFER O'CONNOR

Golden melodies and pop hooks from a rock favorite

KEN STRINGFELLOW (OF THE POSIES / BIG STAR / REM)

CHRIS BROKAW (OF CODEINE) Sun, Jan 20 Coming Soon... 1/24: THE PARSON RED HEADS 1/25: PBR PRESENTS: CITIES 1/26: CAT DOORMAN (EARLY) 1/26: ELEPHANT REVIVAL (LATE) 1/29: THE LOWER 48 1/31: CRUSHED OUT 2/1: REVA DEVITO

THE MALDIVES

$10 Adv Wed, Jan 23

$13 Adv

2/2: BLACK PRAIRIE 2/3: TUMBLEWEED WANDERERS 2/5: SEAPONY 2/6: AAN 2/7: NICKI BLUHM & THE GRAMBLERS 2/8: WAMPIRE 2/9: MRS W/ DJ BEYONDA 2/10: WILD CUB

tickets available at MississippiStudios.com 28

Willamette Week JANUARY 9, 2013 wweek.com

FRIDAY, JAN. 11 Red Molly, Nels Andrews

[MIXED AMERICANA] Red Molly is one of those hot-blooded-yet-cool bands whose sound has both an edge and a grace to it. The brand of Americana the band produces— a blend of country, folk and bluegrass—has style and flair, while simultaneously being filled with passion and soul. This trio of women smolders with pitch-perfect threepart harmonies, and when they do a rousing a cappella number or a honky-tonk send-up of a classic tune like Buddy and Julie Miller’s “Does My Ring Burn Your Finger,” they bring a fresh take to the subject matter and make it their own. And when they veer into the jazz realm for a moment, as they do with their sultry cover of the Otis BlackwellEddie Cooley classic “Fever,” you can forget about trying to resist their allure. BRIAN PALMER. Alberta Rose Theatre, 3000 NE Alberta St., 719-6055. 8 pm. $15. Under 21 permitted with legal guardian.

Big Ass Boombox: Wooden Indian Burial Ground, Fanno Creek, Ninja Turtle Ninja Tiger, Genders, Thanks, Friends and Family, Donovan Breakwater

[LOUD POP] Another round of one of Portland’s best festivals kicks off, and it’s effectively a who’s who of buzzy, noisy pop groups. Donovan Breakwater, Seattle’s Friends and Family and Thanks will get the evening started. Genders—basically Youth grown old—will rock its catchy mope pop at 10:15 pm. Then Ninja Turtle Ninja Tiger will bring a more straightforward pop vibe, with dance beats, synth and nice, clean vocals. At 11:45 pm, Fanno Creek will harmonize the shit out of everybody, with garage-trippers Wooden Indian Burial Ground ripping the evening out of the clutches of normalcy. MITCH LILLIE. Someday Lounge, 125 NW 5th Ave., 248-1030. 8 pm. Free. 21+.

Sioux, Humours, Diesto, Fist Fite

[HEAVY AS HELL] Thick, dirty and covered in sludge, Portland’s Diesto makes bludgeoning, hallucinatory metal that’s heavy, trippy and obtuse, all in one blast. It’s a vicious, slowmoving sandstorm of noise that cascades over listeners—sometimes for up to 10 minutes—before ripping off their flesh. According to one quote from the press page of the band’s website, it’s music that’ll make you “think you went to heaven and had a mud fight with God.” Couldn’t have said it better. MATTHEW SINGER. Ash Street Saloon, 225 SW Ash St., 226-0430. 9 pm. Call venue for ticket information. 21+.

Big Ass Boombox: Animal Eyes, Your Rival, Lee Corey Oswald, Kithkin, Swingset Showdown, Our First Brains

[ECLECTIC ENERGY] Between Kithkin’s drum-circlelike percussion, Swingset Showdown’s theatrical comedy and Your Rival’s boisterous power pop, tonight’s installment of the two-day Big Ass Boombox Festival should be a loud and lively display of Northwest young guns. Rounding out the evening will be Animal Eyes, an Alaska-born group that gained Portland’s attention last year with a slew of local shows and its debut album, Found in the Forest. The quintet’s fusion of lush electric guitar, worldly beats and punchy accordion yields an eclectic collection of songs striving to find a distinctive and cohesive sound. From the light verses of “Ponds” to the raucous chorus in “Mezmin,” Animal Eyes exercises a wide vocal capacity and a range of musical ideas in its recordings that translate quite favorably in a live setting. EMILEE BOOHER. Backspace, 115 NW 5th Ave., 248-2900. 7:30 pm. Free. All ages.

Bison Bison, Dirtclodfight, Lamprey

[STONER ROCK] It’s almost as if Club 21 were built around the established lava-lamp jams of Portland’s Bison Bison. The delightfully divey venue fits the trio’s frayed and ferocious ways like a spur does a boot. Bison Bison puts forth a caustic brand of shoot-first-askquestions-later hard rock that’s brazen enough to wake the sheriff. Granted, it’s a lot of hyphens, but BB moves with such spastic disregard that tagging the band with a singular name would be a disservice to everyone involved. In short, hold on to your hats. MARK STOCK. Club 21, 2035 NE Glisan St., 235-5690. 9 pm. Free. 21+.

Wimps, the Woolen Men

Having Fun,” but I sense it’s meant to be taken ironically, because there’s little about the band that indicates it’s truly against having a good time. Comprising ex-members of Portland noise-folkies Meth Teeth and Emerald City postpunks the Intelligence, the group could be described as frustrated and possibly neurotic, but there’s no way it could be mistaken for boring or joyless. The guitars—not quite fully in tune—saw through crashing, off-center rhythms that alternately churn and rage over Rachel Ratner’s agitated riotgrrrl hollering. It’s addictive stuff, and there’s no way you can stand still while it’s being performed. MATTHEW SINGER. The Know, 2026 NE Alberta St., 473-8729. 8 pm. $5. 21+.

SATURDAY, JAN. 12 Big Ass Boombox: Pigeons, Eidolons, Pictorials, the Lovesores, the Jesus Rehab, Crooks

[FREAK FOLK, ETC.] I should thank the Big Ass Boombox Festival for living up to its promise of introducing the city to an untapped well of local music. Tonight’s lineup features a band that, without the anticipation of this event, I might not have listened to anytime soon. Portland’s Eidolons deliver an auspicious guitar-fueled sound that dips into areas between freak folk and math rock. On top of the immediate allure of the group’s washy and intelligent guitar riffs, frontman Dan Byers possesses a subtle croon reminiscent of Grizzly Bear’s Ed Droste mashed with Belle & Sebastian’s Stuart Murdoch. With the relatively aggressive folk-rock group Pigeons closing out the festivities, this evening brims with an array of undiscovered Portland potential. EMILEE BOOHER. Backspace, 115 NW 5th Ave., 2482900. 7:30 pm. Free. All Ages.

[PUNK NEUROSIS] Seattle’s Wimps have a song called “Stop

DAN MCMAHON

503.288.3895 3939 N. Mississippi info@mississippistudios.com

[ALT-ROCK] Floater’s last release, 2010’s Wake, is a perfect example of why the band is such a popular draw. Simultaneously filled with roaring guitars, frenetic drums and all the cool of a ’70s funk band, the album offers listeners a little bit of everything. Singer-bassist Rob Wynia and company channel their inner Weezer on the “Hash Pipe”esque “You Taught Me,” rip through the power-pop number “Cannonball” at an appropriately quick pace and turn “Broken Toy” into one hell of a groovy rock jam. And while they get serious on the midtempo track “White Dress,” with lyrics like “Tina wore a white dress/She didn’t know it was a funeral,” the gleeful way Wynia shouts, “Olé! Olé!” on the raucous, psychedelic “Matadors” almost makes you forget about such introspective moments. BRIAN PALMER. Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside St., 225-0047. 9 pm. $16 advance, $18 day of show. All ages.

PRIMER

CONT. on page 30

BY REED JACKSON

RJD2 Born: In 1976 in Eugene. Sounds like: An extremely gifted beatmaker who has a love/hate relationship with his drum machine. For fans of: Cut Chemist, DJ Shadow, Elliott Smith. Latest release: The Colossus, a 2010 album that sees the producer return slightly to his funk and soul roots but still spurn his former sample-heavy ways in favor indie experimentalism. Why you care: There was a time when RJD2 seemed poised for stardom. His 2002 album, Deadringer, took instrumental hip-hop to the next level by featuring songs that went beyond samples and drum machines and told stories through rich instrumentation and catchy melodies. The album featured multiple tracks— such as the irresistibly bouncy “Ghostwriter”—that caught the mainstream’s ear and were eventually featured in everything from cheesy bank commercials to ads for British aspirin. The album’s popularity led Definitive Jux label owner El-P to declare that it “would change the motherfuckin’ world.” Since then, however, RJD2’s buzz has dwindled significantly, mainly due to his decision to leave sampling behind and start singing and playing instruments himself. The Third Hand, his third album, plays like an odd assortment of unsuccessful mash-up tracks. But, despite his missteps, RJD2 remains a talent, and when his ventures into music theory actually work out, he’s still capable of releasing good music: “The Shining Path,” off The Colossus, for example, manages to combine his soulful past with his new songwriting direction quite well—a sign that his two musical paths may come to harmonize in the future. SEE IT: RJD2 plays Roseland Theater, 8 NW 6th Ave., with Manic Focus and Medium Troy, on Saturday, Jan 12. 7 pm. $24.50. All ages.

MUSIC SiR RichARd BiShop

PROFILE

we're changing our approach to evening…

same daily menu & specials

now served

ALL DAY LONG'til 9 pm every weekday

view daily specials: dailycafeinthepearl.com

902 NW 13th Ave. • 503-242-1916

SIR RICHARD BISHOP FRIDAY, JAN. 11 [GENRELESS GUITARIST] Any list of the best guitarists of the last three decades will probably not include Sir Richard Bishop. Long-haired teens do not headbang in front of a poster depicting his likeness in tights. He’s never shredded the national anthem at sunrise to thousands of screaming fans. Hell, he’s never done much of anything in front of thousands. But that’s not going to stop him from putting out a guitar-instruction book this year. “The book will be full of what many mainstream guitar players might think of as ‘extremely bad advice,’” Bishop writes via email. “I expect to sell about six copies.” It’s an appropriately absurd idea from an artist whose career is full of them. In 1979, Bishop and his brother, Alan, along with friend Charles Gocher, founded the ethnically spiced, intentionally audacious and often goofily obnoxious Sun City Girls, an experiment equal parts post-hardcore and spoken word. Born into the Arizona punk scene of the 1980s, they were misfits among misfits, often getting jeered while opening for acts like Black Flag. Still, their résumé would make plenty blush: Nirvana opened for them, and the band played Portland’s now-legendary Satyricon three times. Not at all a touring spectacle, Sun City Girls recorded 27 cassettes, 50 albums and a dozen 7-inches before Gocher’s death in 2007. Add to that Bishop’s 15 solo albums, and that’s one monumental discography. It’s impressive no matter the quality of the music. And the quality of some SCG tracks is admittedly poor. “With SCG, we never set out to please anybody except ourselves,” writes Bishop, who has lived in Portland for a decade. “I have a similar approach to my solo work.” Bishop’s solo work, though, is far more refined without sacrificing musical variety. Elektronika Demonika is a guitarless death march through a digital, tropical hell. While My Guitar Violently Bleeds is full of psych-folk flourishes, while Fingering the Devil, Bishop’s acclaimed 2006 album, captures all the hypnotism and magic of his live show. Last year was a busy one for Bishop. First, he released Intermezzo, a record blending the genre-blurring improvisational styles of his previous albums, showcasing everything from folksy epics, convoluted flamenco and concrète soundtracks to Asian temple music, sun-fried ragas and flaming oud riffs. A vinyl-only album mostly of re-releases, The Unrock Tapes, followed. In August, Bishop released Beyond All Defects, a collaboration with Arizona experimentalist and longtime friend W. David Oliphant steeped in Eastern philosophy. “We didn’t set out to make a Tibetan record or one about Buddhism,” Bishop writes. “It just turned out that way.” But hopping across musical styles like a wacky knight on a chessboard doesn’t “just” happen. Initially, travel was a big influence on Bishop. Of late, however, he has been turning inside for inspiration. “Nowadays I try not to allow myself to be influenced by anything external,” he writes. “I want to focus on coming up with new musical works based solely on what the demonic voices inside my head are constantly screaming about.” MITCH LILLIE.

A former Sun City Girl gets in touch with his inner demons.

SEE IT: Sir Richard Bishop plays Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., with Audios Amigos and Ben Von Wildenhaus, on Friday, Jan. 11. 9 pm. $10 advance, $12 day of show. 21+. Willamette Week JANUARY 9, 2013 wweek.com

win tickets to

SATURDAY

SARAH DANZINGER

MUSIC

january 10 th @ Doug Fir

Go to wweek.com/promotions

TRAILER-PARK STYLE: Hurray for the Riﬀ Raﬀ plays Al’s Den on Wednesday through Saturday, Jan. 9-12.

Geographer, On an On

[ELECTRO-CHAMBER POP] Synth-y San Franciscan trio Geographer is the kind of band that seems to constantly invite comparisons: M83, Passion Pit, STRFKR. SF Weekly named it the “Best Local Version of Radiohead” in 2010. But it typically has enough of its own thing going on to stand out from the indie-electro crowd in its own right—namely an electric cello and the gorgeous falsetto chops of lead singer Mike Deni—and previous releases Innocent Ghosts and Animal Shapes rightfully generated a decent serving of buzz and some high expectations for the band. Its 2012 release, Myth, is slightly more problematic. The songs seem lovingly composed, Deni’s vocals are richer and more haunting than ever, and the whole disc is more mature and less reminiscent of other groups than earlier eﬀorts. But it is simultaneously less memorable. With the exception of a reworking of the band’s 8-bit inspired ’09 single, “Kites,” there is no single track with the pop sensibilities of those on Animal Shapes, opting instead for an overall darker and less dance-ﬂoor-friendly sound. RUTH BROWN. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., 231-9663. 9 pm. $10 advance, $12 day of show. 21+.

Jetpack Missing, Gordon Avenue, Sons of Malarkey, Palm Trees to Evergreens

[MODERN ROCKET] After this evening’s show, Jetpack Missing loses vocalist Amber Scott to the wonders of Southern California. Though she’s the second frontwoman to leave the Portland outﬁt through six years and a pair of albums—the skillful, deceptively heavy guitar work of founding member Scott Pond surviving as lone mainstay—Scott’s soaring, bluesy approach (especially notable on a cover of Alicia Keys’ “Fallin’,” from 2011 release Send a Message) shall be hard to replace. JAY HORTON. Hawthorne Theatre,

Willamette Week JANUARY 9, 2013 wweek.com

3862 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 2337100. 7:30 pm. $8. All ages.

Paula Boggs Band, Stephanie Schneiderman

[JAZZY BLUESY ROCKY] Who says lawyers are soulless? In a previous life, Seattle singer Paula Boggs worked as both an attorney and an executive for a Fortune 500 company. Listening to her raw, understated voice, you’d think she’d spent her entire adulthood playing coﬀee shops and jazz clubs. Backed by a crack band, Boggs plays a rich blend of cool cafe R&B that wouldn’t be out of place sitting next to the cash register at Starbucks, but considering her background, the competency is quite impressive. MATTHEW SINGER. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 288-3894. 7 pm. $10. 21+.

Mrs. with DJ Beyonda

[ENTICING EXERCISE] As one of the premier DJs in our fair city, DJ Beyonda displays the uncanny ability to play something so familiar you can’t help but dance along, only to ﬁnd it’s a B-side from way before you were born. It’s a bittersweet education, sure, but so are most good, lasting things. Tonight’s bash wears a Clueless theme, but Beyonda will no doubt take it back with her kinetic routine of ’60s soul. Enter brick phones and bubblegum set to the tune of crackling riﬀs so good you’ll wish you were a baby boomer. MARK STOCK. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 288-3895. 10 pm. $5. 21+.

Big Ass Boombox: And And And, Little Volcano, A Happy Death, Genders, the Hoot Hoots, Tiananmen Bear, Beyond Veronica

[MORE LOUD POP] For night two of the Big Ass Boombox pop frenzy, Beyond Veronica, a powerful pop entourage, will bring things back up to speed quick, followed by Tiananmen Bear and fuzzy Seattelites the Hoot Hoots.

saturday–tuesday A Happy Death is a bit darker and more existential than other groups (their name references Camus’ first book) but still energetic and very garage-y. Little Volcano’s intoxicating vocals and patient bluesy drive will trap you in. And And And’s basketball hoop-wielding van will be parked outside, and you know what that means: The band’s lo-fi pop punk will be raging inside. Challenge them to a game if you’ve got any energy left after all that dancing. MITCH LILLIE. Someday Lounge, 125 NW 5th Ave., 248-1030. 8 pm. Free. 21+.

SUNDAY, JAN. 13 Loudon Wainwright III, Dar Williams

[PEOPLE WHO DIED] The title of folk icon Loudon Wainwright III’s

2012 album (his 22nd), Older Than My Old Man Now, refers to the fact that, at 65, the singer-songwriter has outlived his father. Wainwright uses that idea as a leaping-off point to explore the simple fact that all of our days are numbered. True to form, he takes on this theme with wry wit (“My Meds” is a lively piano stomper that rattles off the names of the many pills he ingests to keep himself going) and heartfelt sorrow over the recent passing of his first wife, Kate McGarrigle. ROBERT HAM. Aladdin Theater, 3017 SE Milwaukie Ave., 234-9694. 8 pm. $30. Under 21 permitted with legal guardian.

TxE, Vinnie Dewayne, Mic Capes

[HIP-HOP] Portland’s hip-hop scene had perhaps one of its best years ever in 2012, and a lot of its success can be attributed to the output of

ANGEL CEBALLOS

PROFILE

CHELSEA WOLFE SUNDAY, JAN. 13 [GOTHIC FOLK] It’s raining in Los Angeles, but Chelsea Wolfe doesn’t mind. “I kind of hate how it’s always sunny here,” says the lanky, darkly eyelined singer-songwriter, sitting in a coffee shop in the gritty-hip Echo Park neighborhood. This is unsurprising: Wolfe’s music could never be described as “sunny.” Her essentially folk style has been intriguingly hyphenated with descriptors like “goth,” “doom” and even “metal” since she broke out in 2011. Regardless of the weather, a personal meteorology regulates the music Wolfe makes—interior atmospheric conditions under which inauspicious, chartreuse-hued skies cultivate strange yet beautiful flora from folk roots. Wolfe was raised in her small Northern California hometown by a country-musician dad. “I started as a folk singer-songwriter, just me and my guitar,” she says. “Any art or music I’ve ever done is very self-taught, so I just consider it folk art, even though sometimes it’s more refined and genre-specific.” After making her debut in 2010 with The Grime and the Glow, Wolfe then drew a wider audience (and tastemakers’ notice) the following year with Apokalypsis. That record, while excellent, played up the more theatrical elements of Wolfe’s dark sensibility (see: Apokalypsis’ cover art, which depicts Wolfe, head raised as though in supplication, with whited-out eyes). In many ways, Wolfe’s latest disc, last fall’s Unknown Rooms: A Collection of Acoustic Songs, feels truer to her just-me-and-my-guitar origins. The compilation of previously unreleased demos and new material leaves behind Apokalypsis’ plugged-in, rock-oriented sound to take a mostly acoustic direction, and replaces melodrama with a vague sense of dread. Unknown Rooms shows Wolfe’s underlying artistic vision to be as unaffected by genre as it is by L.A.’s sunshine. “I think I would be inspired by the same things anywhere I lived,” Wolfe says. Then, donning her fur-lined huntress’s coat, she heads out under a bleak but luminous white winter sky. JONATHAN FROCHTZWAJG. Ain’t no sunshine in this songwriter’s doom-y folk.

SEE IT: Chelsea Wolfe plays Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., on Sunday, Jan. 13. 9 pm. $12 advance, $14 day of show. 21+.

MUSIC

local trio TxE and St. Johns emcee Vinnie Dewayne. TxE, comprising Tope, Epp and G_Force, released two quality group projects this year, and have become one of the most consistently refreshing bands in the city—whether it’s the throwback look of their “Tetherball” video, Tope’s ever-improving wordplay or G_Force’s lush production, which has increasingly caught the ear of national artists. Dewayne released only one project this year, Castaway, but it blew everybody away with its rich storytelling and maturity. The young emcee has the potential to be one of the best all-around rappers Portland has ever seen. To catch both acts on one bill is quite a treat. REED JACKSON. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 288-3895. 9 pm. Free. 21+.

Incredible Yacht Control, Lubec

[BEDROOM SETS] Bret Vogel writes music in his bedroom that others could spend thousands of months in a studio without approaching. Hidden under a veil of lo-fi fuzz are slightly twisted, effortlessly beautiful pop songs that Vogel reportedly wrote mostly to amuse himself: His ’09 debut under the Incredible Yacht Control moniker wasn’t even intended to be released until friends convinced him otherwise, while his latest release, Amateur Hypnotist—a compelling collection of shoegaze-y post-punk tunes that sounds like it’s being played through a cheap car radio always on the cusp of losing reception— was just a $5 Bandcamp thing until others apparently coaxed him into forming a more serious live band around the name and songs. Should you be jealous and maybe just a little mad that this guy doesn’t want to milk his talent for understated hooks and moreish weirdness for money and fame? Probably. But you should also be grateful he’s now out playing these songs live again, and you can go see it without paying a cent. RUTH BROWN. Rontoms, 600 E Burnside St., 236-4536. 9 pm. Free. 21+.

Tribal Seeds, Stick Figure, the Maad T-Ray

[REGGAE] San Diego’s Tribal Seeds have spent seven years and five records cultivating a sound that singles them out from typical reggae redundancy, combining the roots sounds of Marley with a dash of Eeka-Mouse’s stony staccato, a slice or two of Spearhead cheese, a little bit of ska-bordering rock and the requisite feigned Jamaican accent. That combination serves the group well, creating a spacier sound that’s still rooted in the music’s origins while also serving to help the sextet avoid the trappings of the genre—except for the faux-maican accent, which is to reggae what fake Brit accents are to pop punk and is no less puzzling for its commonality. AP KRYZA. Wonder Ballroom, 128 NE Russell St., 284-8686. 7 pm. $12 advance, $15 day of show. All ages.

TUESDAY, JAN. 15 Lady Starlight, the Dirty Pearls

[GOOD NIGHT, LADIES] Historians shall long speak in hushed tones about that spring 2006 night when pupal pop icon-in-waiting Stefani Germanotta introduced herself to go-go-dancing DJ/tastemaker Colleen Martin. Though the apprentice has rather decisively outshone her mentor of late, our reigning diva honors those few unbleached roots. Indeed, odd as it may seem for the Born This Way star to showcase an acknowledged image coach, Lady Starlight continues to spin the glammiest cuts from bygone days of rawk before the Gaga performance proper and through the official after-party (now touring alongside stylish sleazerockers Dirty Pearls). JAY HORTON. Hawthorne Theatre, 3862 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 233-7100. 10 pm. $10 advance, $15 day of show. 21+.

MAKE IT A NIGHT Present that night’s show ticket and get $3 off any entree Sun - Thur in the dining room

DOUG FIR RESTAURANT + BAR OPEN 7AM - LATE EVERYDAY SERVING BREAKFAST, LUNCH, DINNER, LATE-NIGHT. HAPPY HOUR 3-6 PM EVERYDAY COVERED SMOKING PATIO, FIREPLACE ROOM, LOTS OF LOG. LIVE SHOWS IN THE LOUNGE...

BACARDI AND HOVERCRAFT RECORDS PRESENTS

A ROCKSTRAVAGANZA ALBUM RELEASE WITH

CLOROX GIRLS CROWN POINT FRIDAY!

SUICIDE NOTES BOOM!

COURTNEY AND THE CRUSHERS

GUANTANAMO BAYWATCH +HEY LOVER and more!

THURSDAY JANUARY 10 •

WESTERN AERIAL +THREEBIT BOURBON

FRIDAY JANUARY 11 •

$8 ADVANCE

$5 ADVANCE HAUNTING GOTH-FOLK FROM LA SINGER/SONGWRITER

SATURDAY!

CHELSEA WOLFE

+ON AN ON

KING DUDE +CASE STUDIES

SOUL-SONIC INDIE ROCK FROM SF

GEOGRAPHER

SATURDAY JANUARY 12 •

$10 ADVANCE

DOUG FIR AND INNERFLIGHT MUSIC PRESENT

SUNDAY JANUARY 13 •

$12 ADVANCE

AN EVENING OF SULTRY SMOOTHNESS FROM PDX

HALO REFUSER SHY GIRLS POTATOFINGER +AFRO-Q-BEN

THURSDAY JANUARY 17 •

$5 ADVANCE

LO-FI FOLK ROCK FROM BAY AREA DUO

DE LA WARR +MAGIC FADES

FRIDAY JANUARY 18 •

$8 ADVANCE

ROUGH, RAGGED AND HONEST ROCK FROM PDX LEGENDS

PIERCED ARROWS

TWO GALLANTS

+FUTURE TWIN

SATURDAY JANUARY 19 •

$15 ADVANCE

NIKI

BUZZWORTHY SYNTHPOP FROM SWEDEN

WOODEN INDIAN BURIAL GROUND +DON’T

WEDNESDAY JANUARY 23 • $8 ADVANCE A SPECIAL EVENING OF SEA/PDX FOLK ENSEMBLES

KRIS

ORLOWSKI

& THE DOVE

+VACATIONER

THURSDAY JANUARY 24 • $13 ADVANCE

+GREAT WILDERNESS

FRIDAY JANUARY 25 •

$8 ADVANCE

GIFTED SINGER/SONGWRITER FROM SO-CAL

TRISTAN PRETTYMAN SATURDAY JANUARY 26 •

$15 ADVANCE

OM 2/9 North Mississippi Allstars 2/12 Ramona Falls 3/1 Divers + Broncho 3/4 Hillstomp 3/15 + 3/16 Lianne La Havas 3/25

All of these shows on sale at Ticketfly.com

WILLY MASON 1/27 • WILLY MASON 1/28 • WOVENHAND 1/30 BUILT TO SPILL 1/31 & 2/1 • EMELI SANDE 2/2 • ADAM GREEN & BINKI SHAPIRO 2/4 ADVANCE TICKETS AT TICKETFLY - www.ticketfly.com and JACKPOT RECORDS • SUBJECT TO SERVICE CHARGE &/OR USER FEE ALL SHOWS: 8PM DOORS / 9PM SHOW • 21+ UNLESS NOTED • BOX OFFICE OPENS 1/2 HOUR BEFORE DOORS • ROOM PACKAGES AVAILABLE AT www.jupiterhotel.com

Willamette Week JANUARY 9, 2013 wweek.com

MUSIC CALENDAR

Jan. 9-15 Tony Starlight’s

= ww Pick. Highly recommended. Editor: Jonathan Frochtzwajg. TO HAVE YOUR EVENT LISTED, send show information at least two weeks in advance on the web at wweek.com/submitevents or (if you book a specific venue) enter your events at dbmonkey.com/wweek. Press kits, CDs and especially vinyl can be sent to Music Desk, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Please include show or release date information with all physical mailings. Email: music@wweek.com.

3728 NE Sandy Blvd. Cabaret Chanteuse

Torta Landia

4144 SE 60th Ave. Brian Francis and the FoPo Follies

Vie de Boheme

For more listings, check out wweek.com.

1530 SE 7th Ave. Rob Scheps Big Band

white eagle Saloon

836 N Russell St. The Infinity of It All, Jonathan Warren and the Billy Goats, Karyn Ann Partridge (8:30 pm); Brothers of the Hound (5:30 pm)

wilfs Restaurant & Bar 800 NW 6th Ave. Dave Captein Trio

FRI. Jan. 11 al’s den at the Crystal Hotel VICTORIA SMITH

303 SW 12th Ave. Them! the Band! (10:30 pm); Hurray for the Riff Raff (7 pm)

alberta Rose Theatre

3000 NE Alberta St. Red Molly, Nels Andrews

andina

1314 NW Glisan St. Sambafeat Quartet

wed. Jan. 9 al’s den at the Crystal Hotel

303 SW 12th Ave. Hurray for the Riff Raff

andina

1314 NW Glisan St. Jason Okamoto

ash Street Saloon

225 SW Ash St. The Holy Child, the Monday After, Justin James Bridges

Chandelle

Someday Lounge

125 NW 5th Ave. The Northwind, Language, Design Drift Distance

The Blue diamond

2016 NE Sandy Blvd. The Fenix Project

The Press Club

2621 SE Clinton St. Jeff Trapp

Thirsty Lion

Brasserie Montmartre

71 SW 2nd Ave. Jordan Harris

duff’s Garage

4260 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Open Mic

626 SW Park Ave. Sidestreet Reny

Thorne Lounge

1635 SE 7th Ave. Suburban Slim’s Blues Jam (9 pm); High Flyer Trio (6 pm)

Valentine’s

east Burn

Vie de Boheme

1800 E Burnside St. Na Rosai

Goodfoot Lounge

2845 SE Stark St. Jack Dwyer and Ben Larson, Payne and Money

Ivories Jazz Lounge and Restaurant

1435 NW Flanders St. The Cory Weeds Quintet with Steve Davis

Jade Lounge

2346 SE Ankeny St. Adam Brock

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave. The Mel Brown Quartet

Landmark Saloon

4847 SE Division St. Jake Ray (9 pm); Bob Shoemaker (6 pm)

Laughing Horse Books 12 NE 10th Ave. Hazel’s Wart; Sky Above, Earth Below; Lunch

LaurelThirst

2958 NE Glisan St. Jonathan Warren & the Billygoats (9 pm); Gabriel Trees (6 pm)

Lents Commons

9201 SE Foster Road Open Mic

Mississippi Pizza

3552 N Mississippi Ave. The Bog Down (9:30 pm); Mr. Hoo (12 pm)

Slabtown

1033 NW 16th Ave.

232 SW Ankeny St. New Pioneers, No Sky, Stepkid

Brasserie Montmartre 626 SW Park Ave. Zac Allen

Buffalo Gap Saloon

6835 SW Macadam Ave. Jameson and the Sordid Seeds, Jacob Westfall

Camellia Lounge

510 NW 11th Ave. River Song with Caleb Paul

Chapel Pub

430 N Killingsworth St. Steve Kerin

doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St. Clorox Girls, Suicide Notes, BOOM!, Courtney and the Crushers, Guantanamo Baywatch, Hey Lover

duff’s Garage

1530 SE 7th Ave. Pink Lady & John Bennett

1635 SE 7th Ave. Birdhive Boys (9 pm); Tough Lovepyle (6 pm)

white eagle Saloon

east Burn

836 N Russell St. Yur Daddy, Weekend Assembly, Chris Couch

wilfs Restaurant & Bar 800 NW 6th Ave. Ron Steen Band with Catarina

THuRS. Jan. 10 al’s den at the Crystal Hotel 303 SW 12th Ave. Them! the Band! (10:30 pm); Hurray for the Riff Raff (7 pm)

andina

1314 NW Glisan St. Greg Wolfe Trio

artichoke Community Music 3130A SE Hawthorne Blvd. Open Mic

ash Street Saloon

225 SW Ash St. Grammies, Montgomery Word, U Sco

Backspace

115 NW 5th Ave. The Restitution, the Man Who Laughs, Coastlands

Barlow Tavern

6008 N Greeley Ave. Old Light, Nate Ashley, Ryan Stively

Willamette Week JANUARY 9, 2013 wweek.com

1800 E Burnside St. Eat off Your Banjo Bluegrass

east end

203 SE Grand Ave. Death by Steamship, Pinkzilla, Verbal Tip

Funhouse Lounge

2432 SE 11th Ave. The Taste, David Lane, the Tipsy Ramblers

Goodfoot Lounge

2845 SE Stark St. Scott Pemberton Trio

Ivories Jazz Lounge and Restaurant

1435 NW Flanders St. Tom Grant with Mike Winkle and Nancy Curtin

Jade Lounge

2346 SE Ankeny St. Renee Muzquiz

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave. The Mel Brown B3 Organ Group

Kenton Club

2025 N Kilpatrick St. The Doc Brown Experiment, the Keplers

Landmark Saloon

4847 SE Division St. The Pickups (8:30 pm); Chris Miller Band (6 pm)

Laughing Horse Books 12 NE 10th Ave.

Cambrian Explosion, New Lungs, Mister Tang

3862 SE Hawthorne Blvd. American Bastard, Earth to Ashes, Splintered Throne, R.A.R.

Ivories Jazz Lounge and Restaurant

The elixir Lab at al Forno Ferruzza

The Know

Goodfoot Lounge

2346 SE Ankeny St. Emily Stebbins, Natasha Pettit, Arbielle (8 pm); Nicole Sangsuree (6 pm)

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave. Karen Lovely Band

Katie O’Briens

2809 NE Sandy Blvd. Soccer Babes, No More Parachutes, Comfort Zone

Kelly’s Olympian

426 SW Washington St. Big Ass Boombox: No Kind of Rider, Pheasant, Glassbones, Monoplane, Yuni in Taxco, the Mucks

Kenton Club

2025 N Kilpatrick St. The Whirlies, Dramady, Lord Master

Landmark Saloon

4847 SE Division St. Shorty and the Mustangs (9 pm); WC Beck (6 pm)

Mississippi Pizza

2958 NE Glisan St. Lynn Conover & Gravel (9:30 pm); Woodbrain (6 pm) 3552 N Mississippi Ave. Robin Jackson Band, Kathryn Claire (9 pm); The Birdhive Boys (6 pm)

Mississippi Studios

2026 NE Alberta St. Wimps, the Gutters, the Woolen Men, Sad Horse

The Press Club

2621 SE Clinton St. The Druthers

The waypost

3120 N Williams Ave. Hammercise

Thirsty Lion

71 SW 2nd Ave. Dee Dee Fox and the Stimulus Package

Tonic Lounge

3100 NE Sandy Blvd. Miss Massive Snowflake, Last Prick Standing, HeadShapes

Tony Starlight’s

3728 NE Sandy Blvd. The Tony Starlight Show

Vie de Boheme 1530 SE 7th Ave. Ojos Feos

white eagle Saloon 836 N Russell St. The Real, Doc Ocular (9:30 pm); Reverb Brothers (5:30 pm)

wilfs Restaurant & Bar 800 NW 6th Ave. Bill Beach Trio

SaT. Jan. 12 al’s den at the Crystal Hotel

2958 NE Glisan St. Dust & Thirst (9:30 pm); Rob Stroup & the Blame (6 pm)

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Sir Richard Bishop, Audios Amigos, Ben Von Wildenhaus

Mississippi Pizza

Biddy McGraw’s

3435 N Lombard St. Sneakin’ Out

3017 SE Milwaukie Ave. Steelhorse, Jennifer Batten

Mount Tabor Theater

andina

3552 N Mississippi Ave. Sparkle Nation

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. dKOTA, Melville, Spirit Lake

Mock Crest Tavern 3435 N Lombard St. Claes

Mount Hood Community College

26000 SE Stark St., Gresham Janice Scroggins’ Gospel Group

Muddy Rudder Public House 8105 SE 7th Ave. Stumbleweed

Original Halibut’s II 2527 NE Alberta St. Terry Robb

Secret Society Lounge 116 NE Russell St. The Tezeta Band (9 pm); Lone Madrone (6 pm)

Sellwood Public House 8132 SE 13th Ave. Open Mic

Slabtown

1033 NW 16th Ave. Our First Brains, Happy Noose, Beach Party

Slim’s Cocktail Bar 8635 N Lombard St. Taylor Kingman

The Blue diamond

2016 NE Sandy Blvd. Ben Jones

6000 NE Glisan St. Mexican Gunfight (9:30 pm); Lynn Conover (6 pm)

Branx

320 SE 2nd Ave. All Falls Through, Crossing Hawthorne, Algorithm, Still Region, Whispers of Wonder

Branx

320 SE 2nd Ave. All Falls Through, Crossing Hawthorne, Algorithm, Still Region, Whispers of Wonder

Brasserie Montmartre 626 SW Park Ave. Nicole Glover Trio

Buffalo Gap Saloon

6835 SW Macadam Ave. The Get Ahead, John Huck

Camellia Lounge

510 NW 11th Ave. Ron Stephens and Freak Fly Friday

Club 21

2035 NE Glisan St. Bison Bison, Dirtclodfight, Lamprey

Crystal Ballroom

1332 W Burnside St. Floater, Tiny Lady

dante’s

350 W Burnside St. The Dirty Hand Family Band, Angel and the Bad Man, Power of County

doug Fir Lounge

2621 SE Clinton St. The Brazillionaires

830 E Burnside St. Crown Point, Western Aerial, Threebit Bourbon

Thirsty Lion

duff’s Garage

The Press Club

71 SW 2nd Ave. PDX Singer-Songwriter Showcase

1635 SE 7th Ave. Counterfeit Cash (9 pm); The Hamdogs (6 pm)

Tiger Bar

eastBurn

317 NW Broadway Karaoke from Hell

1800 E Burnside St. Closely Watched Trains

Tonic Lounge

Ford Food and drink

3100 NE Sandy Blvd. Open Mic

2505 SE 11th Ave. Katie Roberts, the Darlin’ Blackbirds

1517 NE Brazee St. Ben Larsen & Austin Moore

Jade Lounge

115 NW 5th Ave. Big Ass Boombox: Animal Eyes, Your Rival, Lee Corey Oswald, Kithkin, Swingset Showdown, Our First Brains

LaurelThirst

Fifteenth avenue Hophouse

1435 NW Flanders St. John Nastos’ NYC Quintet

ash Street Saloon

Backspace

3341 SE Belmont St. Northbound Rain

Foggy notion

LaurelThirst

225 SW Ash St. Sioux, Humours, Diesto, Fist Fite

The Blue Monk

2738 NE Alberta St. Denim Wedding, AnneMarie Sanderson, Jeff Donovan

artichoke Community Music

3130A SE Hawthorne Blvd. Friday Night Coffeehouse

CRazy eyeS: Geographer plays doug Fir Lounge on Saturday, Jan. 12.

Hawthorne Theatre

Mock Crest Tavern

4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Sean Gaskell, Njuzu Mbira (concert hall); Brad Parsons Band, Mimi Naja (lounge)

Muddy Rudder Public House 8105 SE 7th Ave. The Sportin’ Lifers Trio

nel Centro

1408 SW 6th Ave. Mike Pardew

noho’s Hawaiian Cafe 4627 NE Fremont St. Hawaiian Music

north Portland eagles aerie 7611 N Exeter Ave. Aszemar Glenn Band

Original Halibut’s II 2527 NE Alberta St. Kenny Lavitz

Record Room

8 NE Killingsworth St. A Happy Death, Mister Tang, New Lungs

Secret Society Lounge

116 NE Russell St. Libertine Belles, the Jenny Finn Orchestra (9 pm); Pete Krebs and His Portland Playboys (6 pm)

Slabtown

1033 NW 16th Ave. Clorox Girls, the Cry!, Coltranes, Motherboy, Blood Buddies

Slim’s Cocktail Bar 8635 N Lombard St. The Twangshifters

Someday Lounge

125 NW 5th Ave. Big Ass Boombox: Wooden Indian Burial Ground, Fanno Creek, Ninja Turtle Ninja Tiger, Genders, Thanks, Friends and Family, Donovan Breakwater

The Blue diamond

2016 NE Sandy Blvd. Lisa Mann Band

303 SW 12th Ave. Hurray for the Riff Raff

aladdin Theater

1314 NW Glisan St. Borikuas

artichoke Community Music 3130A SE Hawthorne Blvd. Boa Saida

ash Street Saloon

225 SW Ash St. The Real Things Are Good, Give It FM, the Cool Whips

Backspace

115 NW 5th Ave. Big Ass Boombox: Pigeons, Eidolons, Pictorials, the Lovesores, the Jesus Rehab, Crooks

Biddy McGraw’s

6000 NE Glisan St. Cats Under the Stars (9:30 pm); Treefrogs (6 pm)

Brasserie Montmartre 626 SW Park Ave. Paul Paresa and the People

Buffalo Gap Saloon

6835 SW Macadam Ave. Jorge Ramirez, Dueling Duets

Camellia Lounge 510 NW 11th Ave. Marie Schumacher

Club 21

2035 NE Glisan St. Minoton, Fruit of the Legion of Loom, Snarl

dante’s

350 W Burnside St. The Romanes, Stovokor, Hot Rod Carl

doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St. Geographer, On an On

duff’s Garage

1635 SE 7th Ave. Midnight Serenaders

east Burn

1800 E Burnside St. Doc Brown Experiment

3416 N Lombard St. Old Junior, Damn Family, Zouaves 2845 SE Stark St. The Goodfoot All-Stars

Hawthorne Hophouse 4111 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Bodacious Live

Hawthorne Theatre

3862 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Jetpack Missing, Gordon Avenue, Sons of Malarkey, Palm Trees to Evergreens

Ivories Jazz Lounge and Restaurant 1435 NW Flanders St. Rebecca Kilgore and Randy Porter

Jade Lounge

2346 SE Ankeny St. Michael Tevis Hodge Jr., Smut Jr., Teresa Boyd (8 pm); JD’s Americana Bluesgrass Sessions (5 pm)

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave. Andrew Woodworth, Commonly Courteous, Jordan Harris

Katie O’Briens

2809 NE Sandy Blvd. Taint Misbehavin’, Chase the Shakes, Sugar Tits, God Bless America

Kelly’s Olympian

426 SW Washington St. Big Ass Boombox: Charts, Father Figure, New York Rifles, Souvenir Driver, Bubble Cats, the Fasters

Kenton Club

2025 N Kilpatrick St. Medicine Family, Bubble Cats, Wooden Indian Burial Ground

Landmark Saloon

4847 SE Division St. The Redeemed

Laughing Horse Books 12 NE 10th Ave. Deathbed, Another Mistake, Unrestrained

LaurelThirst

2958 NE Glisan St. Beautiful Trainwrecks, Amanda Breese, Thom Lyons (9:30 pm); The James Low Western Front (6 pm)

Mission Theater

1624 NW Glisan St. Toucan Sam and the Fruit Loops, Eric Stern (vaudeville show)

Mississippi Pizza

3552 N Mississippi Ave. Pura Vida Band (9 pm); A Simple Colony, Lara Michell, Miss Michael Jodell (6 pm)

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Paula Boggs Band, Stephanie Schneiderman

Mock Crest Tavern 3435 N Lombard St. Bad Assets

Mount Tabor Theater

4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Lazer Piss, the Real (laser show)

Muddy Rudder Public House 8105 SE 7th Ave. Alan Hagar

nel Centro

1408 SW 6th Ave. Mike Pardew, Dave Captein, Randy Rollofson

noho’s Hawaiian Cafe 4627 NE Fremont St. Hawaiian Music

Original Halibut’s II 2527 NE Alberta St. Lloyd Jones

Record Room

8 NE Killingsworth St. The Body, Trophy Wife, Whore Paint

Jan. 9-15 Kung Pao Chickens (9 pm); Portland Country Underground (6 pm)

Bearracuda: Matt Stands, John Cross

Mississippi Pizza

3552 N Mississippi Ave. Mr. Ben

421 SE Grand Ave. Musick for Mannequins with Tom and Erica Jones

3552 N Mississippi Ave. Whim Grace, Novosti (9 pm); Christine Havrilla, Gypsy Fuzz, Rachael Rice (6 pm)

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. TxE, Vinnie Dewayne, Mic Capes

Muddy Rudder Public House 8105 SE 7th Ave. Irish Music

Music Millennium

3158 E Burnside St. Brandon Carmody

nel Centro

1408 SW 6th Ave. Open Mic

Rontoms

CHAMPAGNE WISHES: Near cases bursting with a rainbow of decadent macarons and $3 eau de vie-filled chocolates, patrons at the new Pix Patisserie location (2225 E Burnside St., 271-7166, pixpatisserie.com) can sift through 11 pages of Champagnes—in prices ascending from a dainty $29 demi to a $1,200 large-format Bollinger Grande Année—before deigning to turn pages onto mere midlist sparkling wines or an admirably broad selection of Belgian Trappist ales (served, sadly, in the wrong glassware). But Pix’s Cheryl Wakerhauser’s new, somewhat fussy tapas-bar concept Bar Vivant also uneasily shares this space. The liquors and beers are housed on one side of a massive ovoid bar; the tapas are all the way on the other, and one must walk 30 feet around to the case to order. Tapas are, of course, commonly ordered standing up in Spain, but one does so while ordering a beer, in a lively space brimming with music. Amid dampened swells of soft jazz and quiet huddles of seated patrons, the mood at Bar Vivant can be a bit churchlike— right down to the occasional gawking high-school tourist group— and one almost feels the need to whisper while eating its rich, low-cost Spanish tortillas, bacon-wrapped dates in maple syrup, or lovely butterflied mackerel. As one might expect from Pix, the fine details are well attended to. But the big picture, unfortunately, is ill-composed. The mood’s a bit tense—and made even tenser by a confusing setup. MATTHEW KORFHAGE.

Roseland Theater 8 NW 6th Ave. RJD2, Manic Focus, Medium Troy

Secret Society Lounge 116 NE Russell St. The Barn Door Slammers (9 pm); Trashcan Joe (6 pm)

Slabtown

The Ghost Ease, Younger Shoulder, Hugo Berlin

The Lovecraft

350 W Burnside St. Saloon Ensemble

421 SE Grand Ave. Excuses, the Pleasure Field

The Press Club

2621 SE Clinton St. Yiddish Republik

1033 NW 16th Ave. Manhattan Murder Mystery, Saucy Yoda, Juicy Karkass

The Waypost

Someday Lounge

Thirsty Lion

125 NW 5th Ave. Big Ass Boombox: And And And, Little Volcano, A Happy Death, Genders, the Hoot Hoots, Tiananmen Bear, Beyond Veronica

Star Theater

13 NW 6th Ave. Chervona, the Flying Balalaika Brothers, Leo Nosov, DJ Chkalov (9 pm); School of Rock (Led Zeppelin tribute, 3 pm)

The Blue Diamond

2016 NE Sandy Blvd. Bill Rhoades Band

The Blue Monk

3341 SE Belmont St. Better Than Street Racket, Ubuntu Project

The Firkin Tavern 1937 SE 11th Ave. Turbo Perfecto, Twohands, Boors

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St. Criminal Damage, No Statik, Drapetomania, Sad Boys (the Know 8th anniversary)

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St.

600 E Burnside St. Incredible Yacht Control, Lubec

Slabtown

1033 NW 16th Ave. The Numbats, Small Arms

The Back Door Theater 4319 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Ripe Mangos, Sweetie Lynn, Brumes

The Blue Monk

3341 SE Belmont St. Raskin/Goodheart/ Tarasov

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St. Jr. Juggernaut, Brigadier, Pageripper

The Waypost

3120 N Williams Ave. Waver Clamor Bellow, Ben Schwab

Valentine’s

232 SW Ankeny St. Fine Pets, Tiny Knives, Wild Thing

Vie de Boheme 1530 SE 7th Ave. Arthur Moore’s Harmonica Party

White Eagle Saloon 836 N Russell St. The Sale

Wonder Ballroom Criminal Damage, No Statik, Drapetomania, Sad Boys

3120 N Williams Ave. Felix Hatfield, Nate Lumbard 71 SW 2nd Ave. Dirty Blonde

Tony Starlight’s

3728 NE Sandy Blvd. The Tony Starlight Show with the All-Star Horns (Copa Cabana tribute)

Vie de Boheme

1530 SE 7th Ave. Twilight Troubadour

White Eagle Saloon

836 N Russell St. Quasi Horse, the Stunt Poets (9:30 pm); the Student Loan (4:30 pm)

Sun. Jan. 13 al’s Den at the Crystal Hotel 303 SW 12th Ave. Casey Shea

aladdin Theater

3017 SE Milwaukie Ave. Loudon Wainwright III, Dar Williams

andina

1314 NW Glisan St. Danny Romero

Boom Bap!

640 SE Stark St.

Dante’s

Doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St. Chelsea Wolfe, King Dude, Case Studies

East End

203 SE Grand Ave. Witchhaven, Wild Dogs, Fornicator, Lucifer’s Child, Bloodlust, Cemetery Lust, Sarcalogos, Inebriator, Nekro Drunkz

Foggy notion

3416 N Lombard St. Drunk on Pines, Rogue Gallery, the Paris Funds, Mr. Frederick

Ford Food and Drink 2505 SE 11th Ave. Tim Roth

Hawthorne Theatre

3862 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Of Mice & Men, Woe Is Me, Texas in July, Volumes, Capture the Crown

Ivories Jazz Lounge and Restaurant 1435 NW Flanders St. Gus Pappellis

128 NE Russell St. Tribal Seeds, Stick Figure, the Maad T-Ray

Mon. Jan. 14 al’s Den at the Crystal Hotel 303 SW 12th Ave. Casey Shea

alberta Rose Theatre

3000 NE Alberta St. Big Big Love, the My Oh Mys (Grant High School Foundation benefit)

andina

1314 NW Glisan St. Pete Krebs

ash Street Saloon 225 SW Ash St. Open Mic

Dante’s

350 W Burnside St. Karaoke from Hell

Duff’s Garage

2016 NE Sandy Blvd. Sumo

Valentine’s

232 SW Ankeny St. Ohioan

White Eagle Saloon 836 N Russell St. Rare Monk

TuES. Jan. 15 al’s Den at the Crystal Hotel 303 SW 12th Ave. Casey Shea

andina

1314 NW Glisan St. Neftali Rivera

Bunk Bar

Beech Street Parlor 412 NE Beech St. DJ Nate C

CC Slaughters

219 NW Davis St. Trick with DJ Robb

Ground Kontrol

Rotture

2521 SE Clinton St. DJ Drew Groove 511 NW Couch St. TRONix with DJ 808

Holocene

1001 SE Morrison St. Natasha Kmeto, the Great Mundane, Rap Class, Break Mode, Ghost Feet, Citymouth, Brownbear, Bone Rock, Philip Grass (Dropping Gems showcase)

Star Bar

Camellia Lounge

421 SE Grand Ave. Sinistar Gallactica

Duff’s Garage

1635 SE 7th Ave. Dover Weinberg Quartet (9 pm); Hamilton Loomis (6 pm)

Goodfoot Lounge

2845 SE Stark St. The Roseland Hunters

Hawthorne Theatre

3862 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Lady Starlight, the Dirty Pearls, Motley Crude

Ivories Jazz Lounge and Restaurant 1435 NW Flanders St. Ron Steen Jam

Jade Lounge

2346 SE Ankeny St. Margeret Wehr, Anna Spackman

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave. The Mel Brown Septet (8 pm); MYS Jazz (6:30 pm)

Kelly’s olympian

426 SW Washington St. The New Limb

Landmark Saloon

4847 SE Division St. Honky Tonk Union

LaurelThirst

2958 NE Glisan St. Jackstraw

Mississippi Pizza

3552 N Mississippi Ave. Short Fiction

Peter’s Room

8 NW 6th Ave. Sons of Fathers

Rose Garden

1401 N Wheeler Ave. Lady Gaga

The Blue Diamond

2016 NE Sandy Blvd. Margo Tufo

639 SE Morrison St. DJ Danny Dodge

The Lovecraft

Tiga

1465 NE Prescott St. DJF

THuRS. Jan. 10 Beech Street Parlor 412 NE Beech St. DJ Easy Ian

Berbati

231 SW Ankeny St. DJ Deff Ro

CC Slaughters

219 NW Davis St. Hip Hop Heaven with DJ Detroit Diezel

Holocene

1001 SE Morrison St. I’ve Got a Hole in My Soul with DJ Beyondadoubt

Rotture

315 SE 3rd Ave. Soul Night: DJs Chazz Madrigal, Jonny Grayston

Star Bar

639 SE Morrison St. DJ Jake Cheeto

The Lovecraft

421 SE Grand Ave. Nightmoves

Tiga

1465 NE Prescott St. Sex Life DJs

Valentine’s

232 SW Ankeny St. DJ Stay at Home

FRI. Jan. 11 Beech Street Parlor 412 NE Beech St. DJ Whalewatchers

Berbati

231 SW Ankeny St. Digital Stimulation

CC Slaughters

The Waypost

Goodfoot Lounge

Thirsty Lion

2845 SE Stark St. Open Mic

2346 SE Ankeny St. Jaime Leopold 221 NW 10th Ave. The Dan Balmer Band

Landmark Saloon

4847 SE Division St. Hack, Stitch & Buckshot (9:30 pm); Saturday Night Drive (7 pm)

LaurelThirst

2958 NE Glisan St.

3341 SE Belmont St. Pagan Jug Band 3120 N Williams Ave. Chez Stadium 71 SW 2nd Ave. PDX Singer-Songwriter Showcase

Valentine’s

232 SW Ankeny St. Houndstooth, Slang

White Eagle Saloon

836 N Russell St. Doug Shafer, Eric Stern, Jason Ramirez, Paul Evans, Kristnh

1001 SE Morrison St. Snap!: Dr. Adam, Colin Jones, Freaky Outty (9 pm); Aperitivo Happy Hour with DJ New Moon Poncho (5 pm)

Dots Cafe

1028 SE Water Ave. The Van Allen Belt, Sucker for Lights, DJ Jet Jaguar 510 NW 11th Ave. Steve Christofferson

Tiga

Holocene

Lola’s Room at the Crystal Ballroom

Foggy notion

Jimmy Mak’s

2958 NE Glisan St.

The Blue Diamond

WED. Jan. 9

203 SE Grand Ave. A Happy Death, the Holy Child, Brain Capital

East End

Laughing Horse Books

LaurelThirst

8105 SE 7th Ave. Lloyd Jones

219 NW Davis St. Fetish Friday with DJ Jakob Jay

Jade Lounge

12 NE 10th Ave. Raein; Birdbrain; Carrion Spring; Duck, Little Brother, Duck

Muddy Rudder Public House

The Lovecraft

The Blue Monk

1635 SE 7th Ave. Susie & the Sidecars

Jade Lounge

2346 SE Ankeny St. Vanessa Sundae

MUSIC CALENDAR

Dan Haley & Tim Acott (9:30 pm); Freak Mountain Ramblers (6 pm)

1332 W Burnside St. ‘80s Video Dance Attack 315 SE 3rd Ave. Live and Direct: Rev. Shines, DJ Nature, Slimkid3

Star Bar

639 SE Morrison St. Blank Friday with DJ Ikon

The Conquistador

2045 SE Belmont St. DJ Drew Groove

The Lovecraft

421 SE Grand Ave. Skullfuck! with DJ Horrid

Tiga

1465 NE Prescott St. DJ RNDM Noise

Valentine’s

232 SW Ankeny St. Magnetic Tape Night

SaT. Jan. 12 al’s Den at the Crystal Hotel

303 SW 12th Ave. DJ Hwy 7

Beech Street Parlor 412 NE Beech St. Türk Mali

Berbati

231 SW Ankeny St. DJ Mello Cee

CC Slaughters

219 NW Davis St. Revolution with DJ Robb

Dig a Pony

736 SE Grand Ave. DJ Maxamillion

East Burn

1800 E Burnside St. DJ Symbolism

Gold Dust Meridian

3267 SE Hawthorne Blvd. DJs Gregarious, Disorder

Ground Kontrol

511 NW Couch St. DJs Destructo, Chip

Holocene

1465 NE Prescott St. Sandy Candy

Valentine’s

232 SW Ankeny St. A/V Club

White owl Social Club

1305 SE 8th Ave. Gotham-a-Go-Go: DJ Gregarious, Cecilia, Batarang

Sun. Jan. 13 Gold Dust Meridian 3267 SE Hawthorne Blvd. DJ Mike-A-Nay

Savoy Tavern & Lounge

2500 SE Clinton St. DJ KM Fizzy

Someday Lounge 125 NW 5th Ave. Hive

Star Bar

639 SE Morrison St. The Bobcat

Mon. Jan. 14 Beech Street Parlor 412 NE Beech St. DJ Survival SKLZ

Berbati

231 SW Ankeny St. DJ Henry Dark

CC Slaughters

219 NW Davis St. Maniac Monday with DJ Robb

Ground Kontrol

511 NW Couch St. Service Industrial with DJ Tibin

Kelly’s olympian

426 SW Washington St. Eye Candy VJs

Star Bar

639 SE Morrison St. Metal Monday with DJ Jason Roberts

Tiga

1465 NE Prescott St. Pattern & Shape

TuES. Jan. 15 ash Street Saloon 225 SW Ash St. Phreak: Sunfalls, Noyouyesme, Huey Cobra, Ogo Eion

1001 SE Morrison St. Atlas: DJ Anjali, E3, the Incredible Kid, Bloco Alegria

Beech Street Parlor

Lowbrow Lounge

219 NW Davis St. Girltopia with DJ Alicious

1036 NW Hoyt St. Lowbrow Dub Sessions: Monkeytek, Samizdat

Mississippi Studios

412 NE Beech St. DJ Golden Wilson

CC Slaughters

East End

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Mrs. with DJ Beyonda

203 SE Grand Ave. DJs OverCol, Smooth Hopperator

Mount Tabor Theater

Star Bar

Rotture

Tiga

4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Dementia 315 SE 3rd Ave.

3416 N Lombard St. BMP/GRND: DJs Rhienna, Amy Casio

639 SE Morrison St. DJ Smooth Hopperator 1465 NE Prescott St. DJ El Dorado

Gold Dust Meridian 3267 SE Hawthorne Blvd. DJ Hwy 7

Goodfoot Lounge 2845 SE Stark St. Soul Stew with DJ Aquaman

Groove Suite

440 NW Glisan St. Cock Block: DJ Shiva, Miss Vixen, Heatesca

Ground Kontrol

511 NW Couch St. Super Cardigan Bros.

a dy s ta r l i g h t n yc . c o m

n ata l i e b e h r i n g . c o m

BAR SPOTLIGHT

naW, naW, noT GaGa: Lady Starlight plays the Hawthorne Theatre on Tuesday, Jan. 15.

Willamette Week JANUARY 9, 2013 wweek.com

JAN. 9–15

= WW Pick. Highly recommended. Most prices listed are for advance ticket sales. At-the-door increases and so-called convenience charges may apply, so it’s best to call ahead. Editor: REBECCA JACOBSON. Theater: REBECCA JACOBSON (rjacobson@ wweek.com). Classical: BRETT CAMPBELL (bcampbell@wweek.com). Dance: HEATHER WISNER (dance@wweek.com). TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit information at least two weeks in advance to: rjacobson@wweek.com.

THEATER Arms and the Man

In the first minutes of George Bernard Shaw’s anti-militarism comedy, a Swiss mercenary named Bluntschli crashes through a stranger’s window after fleeing a battle in the SerboBulgarian War. Sleep-deprived and grubby, he begs the room’s beautiful young Bulgarian occupant, Raina, to hide him. And upon learning he’s the sort of soldier who crams his pockets not with cartridges but with chocolates, she fortifies him with a box of chocolate creams. From there, Shaw, who was a pacifist and socialist, debunks not only romantic illusions of war, but also the hypocrisy of class differences, the immorality of keeping servants and the posturing xenophobia of patriotism. It’s a systematic, satirical takedown, stacked with biting one-liners. This Northwest Classical Theatre Company production, directed by Alana Byington, turns in numerous crowd-pleasing moments. But Arms and the Man is a deceptively difficult play, requiring director and cast to balance frivolity, didacticism and irony, and it’s in this juggling act that the production sometimes stumbles. As Bluntschli, Jason Maniccia is appropriately levelheaded and practical. Other characters are more outsize, namely Sergius (Tom Mounsey), Raina’s blustery buffoon of a fiancé. Though Bluntschli is Shaw’s voice of reason, he gave Sergius many of the punchiest lines, both serious (“Soldiering, my dear madam, is the coward’s art of attacking mercilessly when you are strong, and keeping out of harm’s way when you are weak”) and droll (“I could no more fight with you than I could make love to an ugly woman”). But with a cast that walks a fine and sometimes clumsy line between naturalism and caricature, these lines feel more like Russell Stover candies than like fine Swiss chocolates: They might provide a quick kick of flavor, but the delight is unlikely to linger for long. REBECCA JACOBSON. Shoe Box Theater, 2110 SE 10th Ave., 971-2443740. 7:30 pm Thursdays-Saturdays, 2 pm Sundays through Jan. 20. $18-$20.

The Eternally Present Past

Using movement, sound, poetry and story, Melanya Helene and Marc Otto explore the neurobiology of relationships. Brooklyn Bay, 1825 SE Franklin St., 258-9000. 8 pm Friday-Saturday, Jan. 11-12. $20.

Frida, Un Retablo

Milagro Theatre presents a reprisal of Dañel Malán’s play about the legendary Mexican artist. Miracle Theatre, 525 SE Stark St., 236-7253. 7:30 pm Thursdays, 8 pm Fridays-Saturdays, 2 pm Sunday, Jan. 10-19. $12-$24.

Grand Hotel

Lakewood Theatre Company presents the Tony-winning musical, set in 1928 Berlin and featuring a revolving-door cast of volatile and ambitious characters. Lakewood Center for the Arts, 368 S State St., Lake Oswego, 6353901. 7:30 pm Thursdays-Saturdays, 2 pm and 7 pm most Sundays through Feb. 17. $32-$35.

I Love to Eat

James Beard was Portland’s Julia Child, and this one-man show by James Still invites audiences into the kitchen of the eccentric gourmand. Donning Beard’s toque is Rob Nagle, a Los Angeles actor known for both powerful and irreverent performances. Gerding Theater, 128 NW 11th Ave., 445-3700. 7:30 pm Tuesdays-Sundays, 2 pm Saturdays-Sundays, noon Thursdays through Feb. 3. $39-$65.

The Lost Boy

Susan Mach (whose A Noble Failure also opens at Third Rail this weekend) won the Oregon Book Award for her play about the 1874 kidnapping of a 4-yearold boy and the resulting media frenzy. P.T. Barnum offered a $10,000 ransom for the boy, and this world-premiere production blends domestic drama and circus spectacle. Artists Repertory Theatre, 1515 SW Morrison St., 2411278. 7:30 pm Tuesdays-Sundays, 2 pm Sundays through Feb. 10. $25-$50.

A Noble Failure

One of two world-premiere works by local playwright Susan Mach (her play The Lost Boy also opens this weekend at Artists Rep), this Third Rail production takes on the current challenges facing public schools. Jacklyn Maddux stars as an English teacher who resists efforts to privatize education. Winningstad Theatre, Portland Center for the Performing Arts, 1111 SW Broadway, 2351101. 7:30 pm Thursdays-Saturdays, 2 pm Sundays through Feb. 3. $22.25-$41.25.

The Road to Mecca

Profile’s new artistic director, Adriana Baer, makes her Portland directorial debut with Athol Fugard’s 1984 play about an eccentric elderly woman in South Africa’s Karoo desert and the townspeople who want to move her into an old-age home. Theater! Theatre!, 3430 SE Belmont St., 2420080. 7:30 pm Wednesdays-Saturdays, 2 pm Sundays through Feb. 3. $16-$30.

Slipped in Between Things

Actors from Well Arts, which works with individuals with physical or mental illnesses, perform oral histories collected from low-income seniors. Portland Actors Conservatory, 1436 SW Montgomery St., 459-4500. 7:30 pm Fridays and 2 pm Saturdays through Jan. 11. $5-$10.

To Protest and Serve

Readers Theatre Repertory presents a Terrence McNally double-header with staged readings of Botticelli and Next, both of which are set in wartime. Blackfish Gallery, 420 NW 9th Ave., 971-266-3787. 8 pm Friday-Saturday, Jan. 11-12. $8.

COMEDY The Aces

Portland Center Stage and Bad Reputations Productions collaborate for a new comedy series called Slingshot. Up first is sketch-comedy duo The Aces, made up of the very funny Shelley McClendon and Michael Fetters, who performed together in The Lost Boys Live and Road House: The Play. Ellyn Bye Studio at the Armory, 128 NW 11th Ave., 445-3700. 8 pm Friday-Saturday, Jan. 11-12. $18-$20.

Antiques Improv Show

The Brody team builds sketches from audience members’ antiques and oddities. Brody Theater, 16 NW Broadway, 224-2227. 7:30 pm Friday, Dec. 21 and Saturdays through Jan. 12. $8-$10.

Competitive Erotic Fan Fiction

The monthly series from Los Angeles’ Nerdist Theater returns to Portland, with 10 comics writing and performing original stories. Audience suggestions invited, so bring your literary fantasies. Brody Theater, 16 NW Broadway, 2242227. 7 pm Sunday, Jan. 13. $10.

Dom-Prov

If your idea of fun is playing improv games with a leather-clad dominatrix as an audience hurls marshmallows at you, this Unscriptables show is for you. Funhouse Lounge, 2432 SE 11th Ave., 309-3723. 10 pm Saturdays through April 27. $10.

Willamette Week JANUARY 9, 2013 wweek.com

Down & Dirty: A Dark Comedy Showcase

Some local comedians work blue; others tell jokes about Xanax addiction and almost killing themselves. It’s all funny until a body turns up. Ash Street Saloon, 225 SW Ash St., 226-0430. 9 pm Sunday, Jan. 13. $5.

Kevin Pollak

Stand-up from the comedian known for his roles in Willow and The Wedding Planner, as well as weekly Internet program Kevin Pollak’s Chat Show. Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9th Ave., 888-643-8669. 8 pm Thursday, 7:30 pm and 10 pm FridaySaturday, Jan. 10-12. $18-$27.

Pipes: An Improvised Musical

Comedic improv, set to song. Curious Comedy, 5225 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 477-9477. 8 pm FridaysSaturdays through Jan. 19. $12-$15.

Robin Williams

ductor Christoph König also leads the orchestra in Schumann’s Symphony No. 1 and a relative rarity, Paul Hindemith’s short 1925 Concerto for Orchestra. Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, 1037 SW Broadway, 228-1353. 7:30 pm SaturdaySunday and 8 pm Monday, Jan. 12-14. $21-$111.

DANCE Bergamot Burlesque

Toni Elling, a self-described protégée of Duke Ellington (from whom her name derives), dates back to an earlier wave of burlesque, namely 1960 when she decided that as a black woman, burlesque might hold better financial opportunities than her job at the phone company. Elling makes an appearance at Bergamot Burlesque along with Portland regulars Madison Moone, Hai Fleisch, Itty Bitty Bang Bang, Angelique

DeVil and others. Vincent Drambuie emcees; partial proceeds will be donated to the Burlesque Hall of Fame in Las Vegas. Star Theater, 13 NW 6th Ave. 8 pm Friday, Jan. 11. $12-$60. 21+.

Portland Metro Arts Choreographers’ Showcase

Portland Metro Arts is now taking requests from novice as well as experienced choreographers to present work at a PMA showcase on 7 pm Saturday, Jan. 26. Requests will be accepted through Jan. 20. Choregraphers can submit requests to Nancy Yeamans at 503-408-0604 or email them to info@ PDXMetroArts.org. Portland Metro Performing Arts, 9003 SE Stark St., 408-0604. 7 pm Saturday, Jan. 26. Free; donations accepted.

For more Performance listings, visit

PREVIEW M O S C O W N E W D R A M A T H E AT R E

PERFORMANCE

The comedic giant joins fellow comedian David Steinberg (whose directing credits include Curb Your Enthusiasm, Seinfeld and Friends) for an evening of “sit-down comedy.” Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, 1037 SW Broadway, 800-273-1530. 7:30 pm Friday, Jan. 11. $76.50-$194.

The Uninvited: Tennessee Williams with Zombies

Because Tennessee Williams’ portrait of the American South just wasn’t rich enough for the Unscriptables, the improv-comedy group spices things up with zombies. Funhouse Lounge, 2432 SE 11th Ave., 309-3723. 8 pm Saturdays through Feb. 16. “Pay what you will,” $10 suggested.

CLASSICAL

GET A GRIP: Andrey Kurilov (top) and Mikhail Kalinichev are rival suitors.

Cappella Romana

Last year, the Northwest’s nonpareil vocal ensemble sold out three spellbinding concerts of one of the great sacred choral works of the 20th century, Rachmaninoff’s All-Night Vigil. Now, they follow up with one of the composer’s earlier sacred works that’s heard much less often: The Divine Liturgy of St. John Chrysostom. With influences ranging from ancient chant to Tchaikovsky, this sometimes soothing, sometimes passionate 1910 music for the Russian Orthodox analog to the Roman Catholic Mass deserves more attention, and these rare performances in cathedral settings are the ideal way to experience it. Sunday’s performance is at Trinity Episcopal Cathedral (147 NW 19th Ave.). St. Mary’s Cathedral Parish Center, 1716 NW Davis St., 236-8202. 8 pm Friday, Jan. 11 and 3 pm Sunday, Jan. 13. $22-$41.

Maia Hoffman

Accompanied by the reliably excellent pianist Janet Coleman, the coprincipal violist of the Portland Youth Philharmonic plays an arrangement for her instrument of Schubert’s delectable Arpeggione Sonata (written for a now obsolete instrument) and music of Vieuxtemps and Hoffmeister. Plus there will be a transcription of J.S. Bach’s sublime Cello Suite No. 6 for solo viola. Community Music Center, 3350 SE Francis St., 823-3177. 2 pm Sunday, Jan. 13. Free.

Marc Ribot

The great downtown New York avantjazz composer guitarist made his reputation on recordings with Tom Waits, the Lounge Lizards, and John Zorn and has worked many other stars, from Wilson Pickett to Elvis Costello to McCoy Tyner. Lately, he’s been scoring films, and he’ll play a short solo set before performing his original soundtrack, live, to Charlie Chaplin’s first feature-length movie, The Kid. Whitsell Auditorium, 1219 SW Park Ave., 2211156. 7 pm Friday, Jan. 11. $14-$18.

Oregon Symphony, Andre Watts

For decades, Watts has been one of the world’s most popular classical pianists and a guaranteed draw, particularly in a chestnut like the one he’ll play this weekend: Beethoven’s mighty Piano Concerto No. 5. German con-

NASTASYA FILIPPOVNA (MOSCOW NEW DRAMA THEATRE) She’s a gorgeous parasite, a kept woman and a deranged femme fatale, but Nastasya Filippovna Barashkov, from Fyodor Dostoyevsky’s The Idiot, is not easy to pigeonhole. Director Viacheslav Dolgachev and Moscow New Drama Theatre have taken on the Siberia-sized task of improvising a wake for Nastasya, with her aimless lovers Rogozhin and Myshkin feverishly reliving their relationships with the slain woman. In The Idiot, Nastasya wins over the two men with her sex, her money and her heart. Myshkin, quixotic, frail and pure, has such pity and compassion for Nastasya that he offers to marry her. But the ardent Rogozhin, a merchant who can go tit for tat with Nastasya’s impulsiveness, is so enamored that he tries to murder Myshkin and eventually kills Nastasya. It is here that the play Nastasya Filippovna begins. Dolgachev will attempt to stretch that harried tone over the full course of Nastasya Filippovna, receiving its U.S. premiere at Artists Repertory Theatre. The adaptable Mikhail Kalinichev plays Myshkin, while “the struggle between light and dark around us and inside each one of us” motivates Andrey Kurilov as Rogozhin, Dolgachev says via email. Examining Nastasya through the eyes of her suitors in an improvised performance stems from a play by famed Polish director Andrzej Wajda, whose actors memorized the entire text of The Idiot. But this production takes it a step further: Kurilov and Kalinichev have not only memorized the novel, but they may not utter anything outside the original Russian text. They may, however, deliver scenes in any order. “Each character can turn the plot in any direction at any time,” Dolgachev says, “so they’re creating a plot right before your eyes.” To assist the English-speaking audience, segments of the play have been put in blocks and subtitled, but the actors’ ability to warp the original plot line remains. Nastasya Filippovna is not necessarily upbeat, even by Russian theater standards. But seeing one of Russia’s best novels dramatized by a fine troupe from Moscow offers a rare and unusual opportunity for Portland audiences. And for those who don’t trust translations, the final show will forgo English subtitles, Dolgachev says, “performed as it is performed in Moscow, as a total, unpredictable improvisation.” MITCH LILLIE.

Crime, punishment and improvisation.

SEE IT: Nastasya Filippovna is at Artists Repertory Theatre, 1515 SW Morrison St., 241-1278. 7:30 pm Wednesday-Saturday, 2 pm Sunday, Jan. 9-13. Sunday’s show will be performed without subtitles. $25.

THEATER

TOURING THE CITY WITH NATIVE PROTO-FOODIE JAMES BEARD. BY M ITC H L I L L I E

mlillie@wweek.com

James Beard would probably be very proud of what Portland has become. When the foodie icon was born here in 1903, Portland was barely out of its pioneer days. But Beard’s young adult life was not so different from that of thousands of Portlanders today: He sought out trendy new restaurants and locally sourced markets, took shitty jobs so he could have a creative outlet and got into plenty of trouble. Beard, eponym of awards many call the “Oscars of food,” went on to become a respected cookbook author and is recognized as a key force in bringing French cuisine to backward American kitchens in the ’50s. A new play by James Still, I Love to Eat, makes its West Coast premiere here this week. The play is set in the kitchen of his New York brownstone, now home to a museum. But what if Portland were the setting for I Love to Eat? Here is a list of the places that influenced the young Beard— important sites for the gourmand, thespian and cosmopolite. So many things are different, and yet the same. Most of the places Beard walked have changed, and yet his Portland seems, in many ways, to be our own. Below, a guide to his haunts. Beard lived in Portland before our current quadrant system was developed, meaning many addresses and streets have changed since then; modern-day cross streets are given. SOUTHWEST 13TH AND MORRISON: Berlitz Language School and Parking Lot Then: The Gladstone, a 12-room board-

ing house operated by Beard’s mother, Mary. The Gladstone served curry and wild mushrooms with the help of her well-respected Chinese kitchen staff, according to Robert Clark’s 1993 biography of Beard, The Solace of Food. Now: Linguaphiles attend the Berlitz language school and park in its often empty lot.

SOUTHEAST 21ST AND SALMON: Santa Maria Apartments Then: Before Beard was born, his fam-

ily moved into a home in a quaint development called Hawthorne Park. Now: The other homes in the development are still pretty damn quaint and Victorian, but the Beards’ home has been razed to make room for a small apartment building. NORTHWEST NICOLAI STREET FROM 25TH TO 29TH AVENUES Then: The Lewis and Clark Exposition in

1905 was a high-class fairground where a 2-year-old Beard watched Triscuits being

C O U R T E S Y O F T H E J A M E S B E A R D F O U N DAT I O N

THE PORTLAND BEARD

PERFORMANCE

made and viewed the world’s largest log cabin, according to Clark’s biography. Now: Industrial ports and the O’Neill Transfer and Storage Co. have filled in the area. SOUTHWEST YAMHILL BETWEEN 1ST AND 5TH AVENUES Then: The Carroll Public Market, where

Beard and his mother shopped. “That was really the heart of Portland’s mercantile economy,” says Ron Paul, director of the planned James Beard Public Market, which would be a Portland version of Seattle’s Pike Place. “There were up to 300 merchants on any given day lining the streets. Beard’s mother was a sophisticated shopper, and she enjoyed the best and was never afraid to haggle.” Now: A MAX thoroughfare has transformed the market into a mall. An acupuncture clinic, Chipotle, Pioneer Place and Tiffany’s now line the stretch. SOUTHEAST CORNER OF SOUTHWEST 4TH AND ALDER: Central Drugs and Parking Deck Then: A gay-owned, notoriously “immor-

al” bar and restaurant, the Louvre is where Beard’s mother often secretly brought her 5-year-old son, according to Clark’s biography. Now: Central Drugs stands beneath a nine-story parking deck. 147 NW 19TH AVE.: Trinity Episcopal Cathedral Then: In this stone church, Beard joined

his first choir and eventually the Auld Lang Syne Society, an exclusive social club only for families who had been pioneers. Now: The Auld Lang Syne Society is no longer, but the building is largely unchanged. A Trinity Lutheran historian knew nothing of Beard’s attendance or of the Auld Lang Syne Society. NORTH OF SEASIDE: Summer Home in Gearhart Then: Beard’s lifelong love of the Oregon

coast bloomed in Gearhart, and it’s here he first experimented with homosexuality with other boys in the dunes behind the home. Later in his life, “he hardly spent any time in Portland,” says Morris Galen, Beard’s longtime Portland attorney. “But he came back [from New York] because he appreciated the Oregon coast above all else.” Now: The Beards’ summer cottage, the tiniest in Gearhart, still stands. It is privately owned. 531 SE 14TH AVE.: Washington High School Then: After being kicked out of a private

English boys’ school in Canada, Beard attended Washington High School. There, he wrote for student paper The Lens, studied Spanish, became wildly popular, acted in numerous plays both in and out of school and read nonrequired

A BOY AND HIS BEAR: James Beard as a child in Portland.

classics voraciously. Now: Though destroyed by fire two years after Beard graduated and then shuttered in 1981, Washington High School still stands in the same location. For the past few years it’s been home to the Time-Based Art Festival, and the building may be converted into multifamily housing. 3203 SE WOODSTOCK BLVD.: Reed College Then: Reed was a prim establishment

school when the extremely popular Beard enrolled for $125 per year, only to be expelled six months later. “The official story is, he was thrown out for having an affair with male students and a professor,” according to Reed spokesman Kevin Myers. “But he never held a grudge against Reed.” Now: Being gay is A-OK, but $125 won’t buy your juggling textbook. How did Reedies pay the penance for homophobia? “He was unofficially apologized to by being given an honorary degree in 1976,” Myers says.

Tavern, which served everything from steaks to tamales to sukiyaki to burgers. Now: A police substation, surrounded by barriers, keeps close watch on tweakers in O’Bryant Park (“Paranoia Park”) across the street. SOUTHWEST 5TH AND ALDER: Meier & Frank Building Then: The dejected Beard returned to tiny

Portland after living in Paris, London and New York City, and took a job in Portland’s top department store, Meier & Frank, as a decorator. Unfulfilled, he tried to re-enter Portland’s acting scene, but left for Hollywood after it became clear Portland was too small for his ambitions. Now: The lower levels were taken over by Macy’s in 2006, while the upper floors are now luxury hotel the Nines, home to Departure and Urban Farmer. SEE IT: I Love to Eat at the Gerding Theater, 128 NW 11th Ave., 445-3700. 7:30 pm Tuesdays-Sundays, 2 pm Saturdays-Sundays, noon Thursdays through Feb. 3. $39-$65.

SOUTHWEST 9TH AND STARK: Police Station Then: The go-to spot for Beard in his early

30s and his acting friends was the Town Willamette Week JANUARY 9, 2013 wweek.com

VISUAL ARTS

JAN. 9–15

= WW Pick. Highly recommended. By RICHARD SPEER. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit show information—including opening and closing dates, gallery address and phone number—at least two weeks in advance to: Visual Arts, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: rspeer@wweek.com.

Aqua

Margaret Evangeline is best known for taking rifles and shotguns to a firing range, aiming them at powder-coated metal panels, and riddling the panels with bullet holes. Although these visually and conceptually dramatic pieces put her on the map, it’s a lesser-known body of work that will be exhibited in this show: mixed-media watercolors. It will be intriguing to see whether they can approach the theatrical intensity of the gunshot works. Also appearing in the group exhibition are artists Mariella Bisson, David Geiser, Anne Raymond, Rick Stare and David Price. Through Feb. 2. Butters Gallery, 520 NW Davis St., second floor, 248-9378.

Brigitte Dortmund

With their bubblegum palette, thick impasto, and pod-like organic shapes, Brigitte Dortmund’s paintings are stylistically unmistakable. In her newest body of work, she begins to edge away from the vegetal world, her surfaces increasingly expressing saturated hues and extravagant surfaces without recourse to representational subject matter. As such, they occupy a visual space seemingly at the intersection of abstract expressionism and color-field painting. It’s a fresh and agreeable development that exploits Dortmund’s strongest gifts as an artist. Through Jan. 11. Mark Woolley Gallery @ Pioneer, 700 SW 5th Ave., third floor, Pioneer Place Mall, 998-4152.

Camera Work: Vintage Photogravures 1903-1917

It’s hard to believe Charles Hartman’s eponymous gallery has been in the De Soto Building for almost six years, since the gallerist’s impish humor gives him the charm of a new kid on the block. In recent years, his reliably engaging programming has branched into painting, drawing and other media (including knockout shows by painters Eva Speer and Hayley Barker), but Hartman’s true strength is photography. He is an expert in antiquarian photography techniques, and in the current show he shows off choice examples of photo engravature from the early 20th century, including prints by the seminal photographer and art dealer Alfred Stieglitz. Through Jan. 19. Charles A. Hartman Fine Art, 134 NW 8th Ave., 287-3886.

Glades and Ragged Underwood

Vivian Chen’s paintings are the highlight of this three-artist show. In a commentary on decay and rebirth, they present a menagerie of animals lying dead on the forest floor with vegetation sprouting out of their carcasses. It’s disconcerting to see mushrooms and a tree branch growing out of a bird’s eye in the piece Bird, or flowers and leaves from the belly

of Deer, and various flora spreading across the bodies of Snail, Bear, Owl, Rabbit and Raccoon. But this is the fate of any animal that runs out its clock and sleeps without waking. With a potent mix of whimsy and the grotesque, Chen makes us confront the fate that awaits all beasts, including those who walk on two legs and have brains that know death is inevitable. Through Feb. 3. Compound Gallery, 107 NW 5th Ave., 796-2733.

Gwenn Seemel: Crime Against Nature

Portraitist Gwenn Seemel turns her attention to the animal kingdom in the exhibition Crime Against Nature and draws whimsical but politically relevant parallels between animal and human sexuality. She offers up a picture of a genderqueer biosphere populated by promiscuous squirrels, infertile camels, lactating male bats, lesbian dolphins, bisexual bonobos and an array of other freak-flag-flying beasts of surf and turf. As fun as the imagery may be, the show powerfully rebuts right-wingers who point to the animal kingdom as “proof” that sex in nature is uniformly vanilla. Through Jan. 12. Place Gallery, Pioneer Place Mall, third floor, 700 SW 5th Ave.

Josef Albers: The Interaction of Color-Formulation: Articulation

Love geometric abstraction? Run, don’t walk, to this museum-quality exhibition of Josef Albers’ prints. Albers literally wrote the book on color effects (his magnum opus, 1963’s Interaction of Color) and in the prints that make up Augen’s current show, the late, great abstractionist lays out all the arrows in his quiver. Squares, rhomboids and other shapes nestle within one another in chromatic combinations designed to delight and boggle the eye. An unexpected pleasure are the folded shapes in works such as Folio 2, Folder 21A, in which the minimalist master seems to channel M.C. Escher’s illusionistic pretzels. This is a well-conceived show with much to offer both the uninitiated and the connoisseur of Albers’ oeuvre. Through Feb. 2. Augen DeSoto, 716 NW Davis St., 224-8182.

Perspective & Place

Katherine Thompson’s oil painting, Toro, bursts forth with expressive dollops of tomato red, barely contained by a Rouault-like latticework that recalls stained-glass windows. A halo of cerulean envelops the composition, cradling it like a baby. Thompson’s work in this vein reads as pure abstraction, while pieces such as Mindscape come across as abstracted landscapes. While these medium-format works are inventively hued and composed, Thompson’s smaller-scale

paintings are not nearly as compelling. Through Jan. 30. Backspace, 115 NW 5th Ave., 248-2900.

REVIEW

Raymond Pettibon: The Punk Years, 1978-86

World-renowned artist Raymond Pettibon is showcased in a sassy traveling show sponsored in part by the Andy Warhol Foundation. The show focuses on Pettibon’s formative years in the underground punk scene in Southern California. It features some 200 designs, many of which will be familiar to fans of the artist, whose style is heavily influenced by comic books and illustration. Through Jan. 25. One Grand Gallery, 1000 E Burnside St., 212-365-4945.

Richard Schemmerer: Dream, Inc.— Awakening From the American Dream

Using painting, sculpture and collage, artist Richard Schemmerer takes on the well-worn theme of the American Dream. Cock Gallery founder Paul Soriano has curated this selection of works from Schemmerer’s prolific output. The artist’s paintings typically coalesce around geometric abstraction, and his collages update a problematic medium with genuine flair and originality. But can he find new inspiration in such a general, hackneyed theme as the American Dream? Watch this space in coming weeks for a capsule or full review. Through Feb. 2. Cock Gallery, 625 NW Everett St., No. 106, 552-8686.

Robert Rauschenberg and Christopher Rauschenberg

In Hollywood, this is what you call dream casting. To mount a show featuring the late, great artist Robert Rauschenberg and his son, Portlandbased photographer Christopher Rauschenberg, is a formidable, delicious challenge, which Elizabeth Leach and her team must surely have relished. The late Rauschenberg’s mixed-media prints will rub elbows with photographer Rauschenberg’s travelogue tableaux of a recent visit to St. Petersburg, Russia. This is a January must-see. Through Feb. 2. Elizabeth Leach Gallery, 417 NW 9th Ave., 224-0521.

Winter Group Exhibition

Group shows often seem like arbitrary conglomerations of unrelated parts. But Froelick’s show has the feel of a bona fide “best of the best” lineup. It’s easy to take this gallery’s stable for granted. But when, as in this show, you see works by artists as diverse as Rick Bartow (archetypal imagery influenced by Native traditions), Victor Maldonado (politically charged installations and mixed media), and Laura Ross-Paul (sumptuous, symbolismencoded paintings), you realize just how lucky we are to have this gallery in our midst year after year. Through Feb. 2. Froelick Gallery, 714 NW Davis St., 222-1142.

For more Visual Arts listings, visit

SEAN KELLY, ART BASEL MIAMI 2010, ARTIST: KEHINDE WILEY BY ANDY FREEBERG

ART FARE: PHOTOGRAPHER ANDY FREEBERG Sun and sand, lean bodies and fat checkbooks: This is the chichi art fair known as Art Basel Miami Beach. It’s where art-world cognoscenti descend each December, hungry for wheeling and dealing in the upper echelons of contemporary art. These collectors think nothing of dropping millions on fresh works by art stars like Jeff Koons and Gerhard Richter. For many of these movers and shakers, art is not an expression of ideas but part of an investment portfolio. This rarefied atmosphere is the subject of photographer Andy Freeberg’s series Art Fare. Camera in hand, he spent the last few years documenting the art-fair circuit, haunting exhibition booths not only at Art Basel, but also Art Miami, Pulse and New York’s famous Armory Show. With clinical precision, he captures the sterility of these white-walled cubes and the arid detachment of the gallerists and assistants who work them. The chic dealer in Andrea Rosen, Art Basel Miami 2010 Artist: Wolfgang Tillmans is not engrossed by the stunning eruption of color in the painting beside her—she is busy texting a client on her cellphone. The two men in Gagosian, Art Basel Miami 2009 Artists: Mark Grotjahn, Damien Hirst are also gazing into their phones, their disengagement from the art on the walls and from one another complete. Of course, art fairs are about selling art, not probing ideas, so we can’t really blame these folks for doing what they came here to do. But the figure-isolating selectivity of Freeberg’s compositions has a satiric edge, presenting the contemporary-art scene not as vital and engaging but as torpid and cut off from the concerns of the hoi polloi. Only one photograph shows people betraying any hint of emotion: Sean Kelly, Art Basel Miami 2010 Artist: Kehinde Wiley. In this vignette, two men sit at a table, dwarfed by the enormous portrait behind them. One man buries his face in his hands while another looks on with concern. Did they just blow a major deal? Are they dead tired after long hours of catering to wealthy collectors’ whims? Freeberg’s gaze is neutral and unsympathetic. Formerly a photojournalist for publications like Rolling Stone, Time and Village Voice, Freeberg has now found his calling as a visual commentator. For those of us who think of art as a passionate blood sport, not a commodity, this show is a chilling wake-up call. RICHARD SPEER. Argh, the Koons figures are soft?

SEE IT: Blue Sky Gallery, 122 NW 8th Ave., 225-0210. Through Feb. 3.

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SUNDAY BRUNCH IS BACK!

JAN. 9–15

Along with our regular menu

= WW Pick. Highly recommended.

All you can eat buffet. 10am – 5pm Sundays

Wednesday, January 9 • 9pm

Chandelle

WEDNESDAY, JAN. 9

MONDAY, JAN. 14 Oregon Encyclopedia

Following up his No. 1 New York Times bestseller, Star Wars: Heir to the Empire, Tim Zahn is revisiting the bad boys of the galaxy far, far away with his new book, Star Wars: Scoundrels. Starring Han Solo, Chewbacca and Lando Calrissian, Scoundrels is a good, old-fashioned heist except, you know, in space. Powell’s Books at Cedar Hills Crossing, 3415 SW Cedar Hills Blvd., Beaverton, 228-4651. 7 pm. Free.

The documentary Pollution in Paradise helped persuade Oregonians and legislators 50 years ago that more could be done to protect the Willamette River. Today the river is a Superfund site, but at least we’re still talking about it. Catch a screening of the film at the Oregon Encyclopedia History Night “Polluting Paradise: The Formative Years of Willamette River Pollution Abatement, 1920s1960s.” Mission Theater, 1624 NW Glisan St., 223-4527. 7 pm. Free.

THURSDAY, JAN. 10

Dan DeWeese and Michael Heald

Star Wars: Scoundrels

Comics Underground

Bringing comics to life on stage with a microphone and a projector, Comics Underground will be hosting Marvel comics illustrator Colleen Coover (Gingerbread Girl), Fantagraphics staffer and creator of Menstruation Station Jen Vaughn and web-comic creator Jake Ryan (Modest Medusa, which is about a tiny Medusa who comes out of a toilet). Jack London Bar, 529 SW 4th Ave., 228-7605. 8 pm. $3. 21+.

Peaceful Places: Portland

Sick of squeezing into overly crowded bars and waiting in toolong lines for a doughnut? Get away from it all with Paul Gerald’s suggestions for spots to find some relief and when to go there in his newest book, Peaceful Places: Portland. You know, until everyone else shows up. Powell’s on Hawthorne, 3723 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 228-4651. 7:30 pm. Free.

FRIDAY, JAN. 11 Daniel Pink

Regardless of whether you find yourself in the drudgery of retail, we all sell things everyday, from ideas to emotions. Author Daniel Pink (Drive, A Whole New Mind) explores the art and science of selling in his latest book, To Sell is Human: The Surprising Truth About Moving Others. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 2284651. 7:30 pm. Free.

SUNDAY, JAN. 13 Thomas Norman DeWolf and Sharon Leslie Morgan

Thomas Norman DeWolf is a descendent of slaveholders. Sharon Leslie Morgan is a descendent of slaves. Together, they’ve started a conversation about how slavery and the impacts of racism have affected both of their lives in the new book Gather at the Table: The Healing Journey of a Daughter

It’s a difficult time for the modern man. From Dan DeWeese (You Don’t Love This Man) comes a new collection of short stories, Disorder, exploring the tension of men in conflict. In Michael Heald’s lauded essay collection, Goodbye to the Nervous Apprehension, Heald compares himself to men like Ryan Gosling and Stephen Malkmus, and always comes up short. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 228-4651. 7:30 pm. Free.

$3-5 sliding scale. All ages punk music in the back game room. Front bar open for folks 21+.

Friday, January 11 • 9pm

All Ages Show with Clorox Girls!!! Clorox Girls • The Cry! Coltranes • Motherboy The Clorox Girls’ only all ages PDX show!

Saturday, January 12 • 9pm

Manhattan Murder Mystery Shitty Weekend. • Juicy Karkass

Only $14. Unbelievable!

Poet Bruce Beasley’s latest release, Theophobia, continues his style of postmodern devotional poetry with a tangential journey through politics, pop culture, science and history. Deborah Woodard’s Borrowed Tales sees the lives of characters like Hamlet and Ophelia entwining with an L.A. middle-school student and a returning Peace Corp volunteer, resulting in a novelistic collection of poems. Powell’s on Hawthorne, 3723 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 228-4651. 4 pm. Free.

(doors open at 7pm)

Our First Brains • Happy Noose • Beach Party

M TA

Bruce Beasley and Deborah Woodard

Thursday, January 10 • 8pm

• Pork Rojo • Grilled Asparagus SPARAGUS F YA • Tamales • Empanadas • Cottage Cheese 40 Varieties Taste the • Enchilada Roja of Gourmet Difference Tamales • Enchilada Verde CASA DE • Fruit Cocktail A • Mexican Sweet Bread R L

of Slavery and a Son of the Slave Trade. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 228-4651. 7:30 pm. Free.

• Beans • Rice • Potatoes • Huevos a la Mexicana • Chicken Verde • Chile Rellenos • Beef Rojo

AN T

By PENELOPE BASS. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit lecture or reading information at least two weeks in advance to: WORDS, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: words@wweek.com. Fax: 243-1115.

CAN B

BOOKS

R E S TAU

Find us at Cloverstreet Market, 2406 NE Sandy Blvd

503.654.4423 • 10605 SE Main St. Milwaukie, OR www.CanbyAsparagusFarm.com

Delivery & Shipping Available

Sunday, January 13 • 8pm

The Church of RocknRoll Presents... The Numbats • Small Arms Monday, January 14 • 9pm

Happy Birthday, Ang! G’bye, Cayley!

FREE! Say goodbye to Caylee and happy birthday to Ang, two of our regulars here. Word on the street is that we’re gonna be smashin’ stuff with axes ‘n’ bats...

Tuesday, January 15

SIN Tuesdays

Drink specials from 9 to midnight for OLCC card carriers, cabbies, Tri-Met workers, and shirtless firefighters.

Within Spitting Distance of The Pearl

1033 NW 16th Ave. 971.229.1455 Everyday Noon - 2:30am

Happy Hour Mon - Fri noon-7pm • Sat - Sun 3-7pm Pop-A-Shot • Pinball Skee-ball • Air Hockey • Free Wi-Fi

TUESDAY, JAN. 15 Figures of Speech Reading Series

Honoring Oregon poet William Stafford, the Figures of Speech reading series will feature Leanne Grabel, Steve Sanders and Leah Stenson. Open-mic readers are invited to share poems inspired by, in tribute to or in the style of William Stafford. In Other Words, 14 NE Killingsworth St., 232-6003. 7-9 pm. Free.

From Pigeons to Tweets

When Lt. Gen. Clarence “Mac” McKnight served in the Army during the Korean War, they used carrier pigeons to communicate with the troops. Now retired, McKnight authored the book From Pigeons to Tweets, and will speak about the advancements in technology in military communications during the past six decades. You should see those pigeons use Facebook. Portland State University, Development Services Auditorium (Room 2500), 1900 SW 4th Ave. 3 pm. Free.

Unchaste Readers

Celebrating “women reading their minds,” the series this month will feature Robyn Bateman, Robyn Johnson, Jessica Starr, Mary Slocum, Judy Ossello, Mimi Allin and music by Lithopedion. The Blue Monk, 3341 SE Belmont St., 595-0575. 7 pm. Free.

For more Books listings, visit

Willamette Week JANUARY 9, 2013 wweek.com

JAN. 9–15 DATES HERE REVIEW

= WW Pick. Highly recommended.

J O N AT H A N O L L E Y

MOVIES

Editor: REBECCA JACOBSON. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, send screening information at least two weeks in advance to Screen, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: rjacobson@wweek.com. Fax: 243-1115.

36th Chamber of Shaolin

[ONE NIGHT ONLY, REVIVAL] Gordon Liu kicks serious ass in this Shaw Brothers flick, widely considered one of the greatest kung fu films. R. Hollywood Theatre. 7:30 pm Tuesday, Jan. 15.

Any Day Now

B- As far as weepies go, Any Day Now does its damnedest to drain as much salty juice from your tear ducts as possible. The fairly soapy plot—gay couple in 1979 fights for custody of a disabled teenage boy—could prompt waterworks without much additional urging. But writer-director Travis Fine’s cliché-ridden screenplay and fondness for close-ups of Alan Cumming’s pliable face, alternately beaming and misty-eyed, do in this well-meaning film. Cumming plays Rudy Donatello, a lip-synching drag queen in West Hollywood, who meets freshly outof-the-closet lawyer Paul Fleiger (an understated Garret Dillahunt). When Rudy’s drug-addicted neighbor gets picked up on a possession charge, he swoops in to save her 14-year-old son Marco (Isaac Leyva), who has Down syndrome and whose favorite toy is a blonde doll (this will, predictably, play out poorly in court). Though inspired by a true story, Rudy and Paul’s relationship—along with their fierce devotion to Marco—develops too quickly to feel wholly plausible. The leads (Cumming in particular) do their best with sorely underwritten characters, but rather than casting fresh light on the era’s institutionalized homophobia, Any Day Now gets stuck in the sap of treacle and tears. R. REBECCA JACOBSON. Living Room Theaters.

Argo

A- Halfway through Ben Affleck’s

Argo, the main characters stage a script reading for a Flash Gordon rip-off they claim to be prepping for the screen. The result is hilarious. Then something harsh happens. The dialogue fades, replaced by violent political speak from the Iranian revolution in which 52 Americans are being held hostage. This stark juxtaposition perfectly captures the tone of this thriller, a bizarre story of a joint mission between the Canadian government, the CIA and Hollywood to extract six Americans hiding in Tehran by posing as a Canuck film crew on a location shoot. It sounds like a recipe for a comic romp, but Affleck is too smart for that. Over the course of the three films he’s directed, Affleck has positioned himself as something of an auteur in the Michael Mann mold: slick, concise and able to tell complex stories in a straightforward manner, with subtly kinetic camera flourishes punctuating brilliant performances. By not pandering to sentimentality, Affleck has taken what others would have turned into farce and emerged with one of the year’s best pictures. R. AP KRYZA. Living Room Theaters, Eastport, Clackamas.

Beyond the Black Rainbow

[THREE DAYS ONLY] Panos Cosmatos’ sci-fi mindfuck is an allegory of the Reagan era, on acid. R. Fifth Avenue Cinema. 7 and 9:30 pm FridaySaturday, 3 pm Sunday, Jan. 11-13.

Cirque du Soleil: Worlds Away

Impossibly flexible acrobats, rendered in 3-D. Not screened for critics. PG. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Living Room Theaters, Bridgeport.

Django Unchained

B- Give Quentin Tarantino this much: He’s got balls. Imagine entering a meeting with a major studio and pitching a relentlessly violent, bigbudget revenge fantasy about an escaped slave in the pre-Civil War South who slaughters his way through Confederate plantation owners in search of his wife. If nothing else, Django Unchained has audacity going

for it. But it raises a question that, ultimately, makes it tough to enjoy: When dredging up the ugliest period of American history for the sake of entertainment, is being cool enough? Because Django Unchained is exceptionally cool. A mashed-up spaghetti Western and blaxploitation flick, it is the kind of kinetic pastiche job that’s made Tarantino a genre unto himself. It’s got tight, crackling dialogue, and three actors who revel in delivering it. It’s got a handful of images— such as a close-up of a slave owner’s blood misting across cotton bolls—that are among the best in the director’s oeuvre. It’s got original music by both Ennio Morricone and Rick Ross, and a slow-motion shootout set to a posthumous collaboration between Tupac and James Brown. Why, then, did I leave the theater feeling not exhilarated but empty? Django Unchained trivializes an atrocity, and that makes it hard to digest as fun, frivolous popcorn. Tarantino has taken it upon himself to offer an extreme form of catharsis for immense suffering, but the movie’s blood lust contains little trace of actual empathy. Its staggering runtime—two hours and 45 minutes— is earned only by its three lead actors. As the sociopath-cum-abolitionist Dr. King Schultz, Christoph Waltz makes Tarantino’s words sing. Jamie Foxx finds a captivating stoicism as Django. And Leonardo DiCaprio, playing a psychotic cloaked in Southern gentility, bites down with rotted teeth into a role of slimy, slithering, utterly unsubtle evil. With Django Unchained, Tarantino has made another monument of cinematic cool. But has he made a responsible film? And does it matter? That, it turns out, is the biggest question of all. R. MATTHEW SINGER. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, CineMagic, Cornelius, Lake Twin, Lloyd Center, Oak Grove, Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Evergreen Parkway, Fox Tower, Hilltop, Sherwood, Wilsonville, St. Johns.

Do the Right Thing

[TWO DAYS ONLY, REVIVAL] Spike Lee’s 1989 litmus test for race relations in Brooklyn. R. NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium. 4:15 pm Saturday and 7 pm Thursday, Jan. 12 and 17.

Dracula

[TWO NIGHTS ONLY, REVIVAL] Bela Lugosi owns Robert Pattinson. NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium. 6:30 pm Sunday and 7 pm Monday, Jan. 13-14.

The Guilt Trip

B Seth Rogen has spent much of the past five years trying to come out from under the long shadow of his mentor, Judd Apatow. But only recently has the Canadian actor become truly successful, via a restrained dramatic turn in Sarah Polley’s Take This Waltz, and now in The Guilt Trip, a sweet trifle of a road picture/buddy comedy. The small twist on the formula is that these adventurers are a mother and son. Here, Rogen takes his loving but overbearing mom (a charming, dowdy Barbra Streisand) along for a crosscountry ride as he attempts to sell an all-natural cleaning product. The catch is Rogen’s other agenda to reconnect Streisand with a long-lost love. Beyond that, the film sticks close to convention: Tension arises, secrets get revealed, lessons are learned, and a montage or two fly by. The Guilt Trip is cinematic comfort food given some substance by the charming chemistry of its leads and a genuinely heartfelt, affecting interest in strong family bonds. Both should secure this film’s success on the overstuffed holiday film calendar. PG-13. ROBERT HAM. Clackamas, Living Room Theaters, Division, Hilltop, Wilsonville.

A Haunted House

A Paranormal Activity spoof, starring Marlon Wayans and Cedric the

Willamette Week JANUARY 9, 2013 wweek.com

CONT. on page 39

BLEAK STATE: Jessica Chastain heads up a terrorist manhunt.

DEATH WITHOUT CLOSURE ZERO DARK THIRTY DRAMATIZES THE SEARCH FOR OSAMA BIN LADEN TO CHILLING EFFECT. BY R EBECCA JACO BSON

rjacobson@wweek.com

For all the talk about torture Zero Dark Thirty has generated, you’d be forgiven for thinking director Kathryn Bigelow spends 157 minutes depicting detainees being waterboarded, strung up with ropes and crammed into confinement boxes. This is, of course, not the case. The majority of the film is an intricate police procedural about the decadelong hunt for Osama bin Laden with a 30-minute climax depicting the assault on his Abbottabad compound. But those scenes of torture, front-loaded in the first third of the film, dredge up such challenging, uncomfortable and important moral questions it’s no wonder they’ve dominated discussion since before Zero Dark Thirty was released. U.S. senators, including Democrats Dianne Feinstein and Carl Levin and Republican John McCain, have lambasted Bigelow and screenwriter Mark Boal (The Hurt Locker duo) for suggesting that torture works. Meanwhile, political commentators (and a few film critics) have argued that if viewers are caught in the picture’s dramatic grip, they are complicit in Bigelow and Boal’s endorsement of torture. Perhaps it’s a defensive reaction, but I’m unable to see Zero Dark Thirty as some rah-rah, kill-themotherfucker piece of jingoism that pines for the days when detainees wore dog collars. Did torture yield information that led the CIA to bin Laden? I think Zero Dark Thirty leaves it murky. Instead, the film is as uncomfortable in its relentlessly raw representations of torture as it is in its characters’ emotionally ambiguous reactions—or nonreactions—to those acts of torture. But this discomfort is precisely what endows Bigelow’s sharply directed film with such import. Take the first scene of torture: CIA officer Maya (Jessica Chastain) has just arrived in Pakistan and is present for the violent interrogation of a detainee named Ammar. As a fellow CIA officer named Dan (a bristly, smart Jason Clarke) roughs up Ammar, Maya cringes, clenches her jaw, clasps her arms across her chest and at one point covers her eyes.

But there’s an unsettling slightness to these reactions, and one that Bigelow and Boal don’t explain with biography or backstory. The closest we get to commentary is a brief exchange between Dan and Maya after the interrogation. “How do you like Pakistan so far?” he asks. “It’s kinda fucked up,” she answers. Later, we see Maya more forcefully encouraging a cruel act of interrogation, followed by a brief cut of her gasping in the restroom. The torture is terrible and sad in its brutality; Maya’s reactions are terrible and sad in their faintness. Where Maya shows no faintness is in her interactions—and confrontations—with other CIA officers. Chastain fiercely portrays Maya’s singleminded drive to root out bin Laden, and while Boal’s gritty, detailed screenplay calls some attention to the fact she’s a woman in a male-dominated

I’M UNABLE TO SEE ZERO DARK THIRTY AS SOME RAH-RAH, KILL-THE-MOTHERFUCKER PIECE OF JINGOISM. environment (how could it not?), this is not some story of a tough chick outsmarting the male assholes around her. Maya is an enigma, but she’s not empty: We see her struggle to set aside work to socialize with a colleague (Jennifer Ehle, hardened but spirited), and in a touchingly brief shot, we glimpse the photo on her computer’s desktop, which shows her with a slain CIA officer. Maya’s determination, as we know, pays off, and Zero Dark Thirty builds to the pivotal raid on bin Laden’s compound by a group of Navy SEALs. Largely shot with night-vision lenses, it’s a dramatic shift from earlier cinematographic naturalism, but it remains eerily and grippingly real. The suspense is thick, the carnage plentiful, and the celebration brief and fraught—this is no simple act of triumphalism. Much like the film’s earlier depictions of torture, it’s wrenchingly decisive yet, ultimately, inconclusive. A- SEE IT: Zero Dark Thirty is rated R. It opens Friday at Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Cornelius, Lloyd Center, Oak Grove, Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Evergreen Parkway, Hilltop, Pioneer Place, Sherwood, Wilsonville, Roseway.

JAN. 9–15

MOVIES NORTHWEST FILM CENTER/MARC RIBOT

Entertainer. Not screened for critics. R. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Cornelius, Lloyd Center, Oak Grove, Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Evergreen, Sherwood.

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

B+ By the time Peter Jackson wrapped his sterling Lord of the Rings trilogy, audiences had spent nearly 12 hours in Middle Earth, marveling at the dense cinematic landscape. It was only a matter of time before J.R.R. Tolkien’s even more popular—and considerably lighter— novel The Hobbit hit the screen. Yet anyone expecting another LOTR installment or, even worse, The Phantom Hobbit, will be bowled over by the spectacle Jackson has produced. The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey takes his penchant for sprawling panoramic views, largescale melees and lingering shots of small men gazing into the distance and distills it through the eyes of young Bilbo Baggins (Martin Freeman), prodded into adventure by the wizard Gandalf (a returning Ian McKellen). The mission: join a group of dwarves led by fallen king Thorin (a gruff Richard Armitage) to reclaim their mountain kingdom and its treasures from a gigantic dragon. “All good stories deserve embellishment,” Gandalf tells Bilbo, and it’s safe to say the film delivers in a tall-tale sense, from a game of wits with snarling cockney trolls to the infamous “Riddles in the Dark” sequence with a never-more-frightening Gollum (motion-captured by Andy Serkis to perfection). After a slow and decidedly kiddie start, The Hobbit moves at the lightning pace of a chase movie intercut with stellar mini-adventures involving orcs astride wolves, gigantic spiders, soaring eagles and reanimated kings. It’s all anchored firmly by Freeman’s assured performance, which exudes charm and childlike fear. From the little man’s perspective, it all seems new again. PG-13. AP KRYZA. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Cornelius, Lake Twin, Oak Grove, Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Evergreen Parkway, Hilltop, Lloyd Mall, Pioneer Place, Sherwood, Wilsonville.

Holy Motors

A This strange, poignant and thor-

oughly unshakeable piece of cinematic art couldn’t have come from a more unlikely source: Leos Carax, the visionary French director whose last feature, Pola X, landed with such a resounding commercial and critical thud in 1999 that, until recently, no one would hire him. So with nothing to lose, and the financial backing of a half-dozen production companies, Carax went for broke on Holy Motors, using nearly two hours of screen time to comment wryly and sharply on the state of film and the entertainment industry. The main story follows M. Oscar (the craggy and lithe Denis Lavant, in a bravura performance), a gent who drifts through Paris in the back of a limousine and adopts various guises along the way. He emerges from the limo as an old woman begging for change on a bridge, a motioncapture artist in a skintight bodysuit and, in the most memorable sequence, as a mentally unstable homeless man who eats flowers and manages to kidnap Eva Mendes. By commenting on each era of the film industry—from its earliest experiments to modern CGI—and by using some of its reference points (look for the nod to the 1960 classic Eyes Without a Face at the end), the director urges viewers to remember how potent and indelible the art form can be. ROBERT HAM. Living Room Theaters.

I Am Not a Hipster

B [ONE NIGHT ONLY] Destin

Cretton’s debut feature should not have been made. Indeed, if he’d needed much money from anybody else to do it, it would not have been made. It couldn’t look worse on paper: The film’s name is execrable, and its subject is an absolutely humorless sad-sack San Diego

PORTLAND, OREGON CUSTO M SC REEN PRINTING

MARC RIBOT LIVE: THE KID singer-songwriter named Brook (Dominic Bogart) convinced that all art is worthless, including his own (except that everybody else’s is worth even less than his), but who is irresistible to a crowd of fawning indie girls he treats with casual uninterest while trying to inflict psychic pain on his ex-girlfriend. Amazing, then, that the film has moments of beauty. I Am Not a Hipster seems to develop self-awareness along with its subject, so that what is at first a third-rate Greenberg is peeled back to reveal a study in damage, grief and the childlike joy of creation. Bogart’s Brook becomes a slowly interesting creature even as he remains the seething, self-important asshole at the back of the party to whom no one should really want to talk. And no, he’s not a hipster. Just an oversensitive lout, ill-conceived into the world. He doesn’t halfway hold up Cretton’s implied mighty message of art as escape and healing in a broken world, but he doesn’t have to: Bogart (along with the three actresses who play his sisters) managed to slip the picture’s clichéd noose and make a half-cracked character worth spending a movie with. MATTHEW KORFHAGE. Clinton Street Theater. 7 pm Friday, Jan. 11.

The Impossible

C It’s always tricky to criticize a film for what it fails to depict rather than for what it actually captures. But in The Impossible, the omission is so glaring that to disregard it would be to commit a similarly shortsighted act of complacency. Though it centers on the 2004 tsunami that ravaged Southeast Asia and killed 230,000 people, Juan Antonio Bayona’s film is less a tale of cataclysmic human and environmental devastation than a troublingly narrow narrative about one white, privileged, European family whose vacation is spoiled by a crushing wall of water. As a disaster drama, it’s immersive and at points extraordinary: When the tsunami arrives, it crashes and swirls so violently that I was relieved the action wasn’t rendered in 3-D. The family of five, who minutes prior had been exchanging Christmas gifts and uninspired dialogue, is swept up in the surge. We witness the mother, Maria (Naomi Watts), receive a particularly vicious thrashing, spun as if in a blender and then flayed to the bone by debris. As she reunites with 12-year-old Lucas (Tom Holland), Bayona seems to think that lingering over dirty wounds and bloody flaps of skin can make up for Sergio G. Sánchez’s thin screenplay, but he’s fortunate to have Holland and Watts, who both give gritty, heartfelt performances. But the dramatic pull grows a bit sluggish when Bayona turns to Maria’s husband (Ewan McGregor), who does little more than stumble through rubble while hollering for his wife. Meanwhile, the few locals are relegated to window dressing, even as the film keeps reminding us that this is a “true story,” with those words appearing twice in the title credits. But did we need any “true story” of this colossal tragedy adapted for

the big screen, least of all one of a lavish vacation gone wrong? Bayona need not have made a by-the-book docudrama or filled the screen with suffering Asians, but he ultimately allows sap and irresponsible flights of sensationalism to trump sensitivity. R. REBECCA JACOBSON. Cedar Hills, Clackamas, Bridgeport, City Center, Fox Tower.

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Jack Reacher

B- In the opening of this impec-

cably timed Tom Cruise vehicle, a sniper in Pittsburgh guns down five apparently random people. Detective Emerson (David Oyelowo) finds a wealth of evidence to convict a former soldier, James Barr (Joseph Sikora). But instead of pleading guilty, Barr scrawls a cryptic note: “Get Jack Reacher.” Reacher (Cruise) is a military cop-turned-drifter. The character, created by author Lee Childs, was born out of pulp: intimidating, 6-foot-5 and blond, and preternaturally gifted in investigation, krav maga, marksmanship and general ass-kicking. But at some point in the casting process, writer-director Christopher McQuarrie must have said, “Fuck it, let’s just get Tom Cruise.” When Reacher shows up in the Steel City, he finds himself appointed the lead investigator by Barr’s defense attorney (Rosamund Pike, reduced to little more than looking sexy and growing aroused as Reacher unravels the mysteries of the case). Jack Reacher has some serious moments, including some gruesome hand-to-hand combat, but it also has a sense of humor about itself. This is a movie with a high-speed car chase between cop cars and modern sedans in which Cruise inexplicably drives a ’70s muscle car. The brutal Russian mob is kept in line by the iron fist of an aging former Siberian prisoner (Werner Herzog) with a pronounced German accent and gnawed-off fingers. There are two ways to approach this film: either as a ludicrous vanity picture for an overthe-hill movie star with a serious Napoleon complex, or a work of high camp. You may expect the former, but be prepared to cackle at the latter. PG-13. JOHN LOCANTHI. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Cornelius, Oak Grove, Bridgeport, Division, Evergreen Parkway, Hilltop, Lloyd Mall, Pioneer Place, Sherwood, Wilsonville.

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Jon Jost Retrospective

[FIVE NIGHTS ONLY] Though his shoestring-budget pictures rarely show outside the rarefied festival circuit, the nomadic, self-taught Jon Jost has made 34 feature-length films and more than 30 shorts in the past 50 years. This weeklong program showcases a unique double feature each evening. See cstpdx. com for the schedule. Clinton Street Theater. 7 pm Monday-Friday, Jan. 14-18.

Les Misérables

D Tom Hooper’s Les Misérables lives up to its name. With the exception of about 10 minutes, the nearly

CONT. on page 40 Willamette Week JANUARY 9, 2013 wweek.com

JAN. 9–15

three-hour film is an endless wallow in the fields of squalor, filth, chancre and herpes. Derived from Victor Hugo’s humanitarian novel, already a doorstop weepie, Les Miz is in musical form a bathetic pressure washer loaded with human tears. In Hooper’s (The King’s Speech) loose directorial grip, this water cannon jerks itself around as in an old Looney Tunes cartoon, spraying the world with salty liquid. As the saintly thief-gone-noble Jean Valjean pursued by the relentless Javert (Russell Crowe) through the streets of 19th-century France, Hugh Jackman is a terrifically convincing physical presence. But he is hobbled by Hooper’s decision to have the actors sing every line. Jackman is more a song-and-dance man than a balladeer, and his trilling over-enunciation bleeds his character of any possible nuance. Crowe, likewise, sounds less like a punctilious follower of the law than a bar-band bellower who needs a drink. Despite some expensivelooking overhead shots of degraded French life, Hooper’s epic film is centered doggedly on the suffering found in a human face. In the case of Anne Hathaway as the dying prostitute Fantine, this is a wise decision. She becomes a Jeanne D’Arc figure, ruined and beatific, sobbingly and haltingly wresting “I Dreamed a Dream” from Susan Boyle with the imperfections of her rendition. Les Miz is, more than anything, painfully obvious Oscar bait. In shooting relentlessly for a statuette, Hooper makes all of humanity into much the same thing: heavy and small, shining on the surface but just plain dead on the inside. PG-13. MATTHEW KORFHAGE. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Cornelius, Lloyd Center, Moreland, Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Evergreen Parkway, Fox Tower, Hilltop, Lloyd Mall, Sherwood, Wilsonville.

Life of Pi

C Ignore the tiger for a moment. Ang Lee’s Life of Pi is a very simple story with a grandiose backdrop. For much of the film, we’re alone on a lifeboat, in the middle of the Pacific, with a boy and a Bengal. Rendered in sumptuous 3-D, the swoony special effects and churning waves create a palpable sense of motion. But the story lacks such pull. Based on Yann Martel’s Booker Prize-winning novel, the film surrenders the book’s more subtle messages for ham-handed schlock and slack-jawed awe. And unlike better feel-good films, which slowly lock their fangs around your heart, Life of Pi seems downright manipulative. It begins in French India, where Pi’s family owns a zoo. After some clunky exposition, the family loads its menagerie onto a ship bound for Canada, but a massive storm lands Pi on a lifeboat with the aforementioned tiger. Visually, this is where the film picks up: The ocean swirls with phosphorescent plankton and jellyfish, a shimmering whale glides across the frame and the starry sky blurs with the glistening sea. Such sequences call to mind those Ravensburger jigsaw puzzles of underwater scenes with glowing moons and rainbow-hued fish. Less successfully, they reminded me of the neon Lisa Frank dolphin stickers I used to slap on my elementary-school notebooks. As Pi, newcomer Suraj Sharma deserves praise, and not just because he spends the majority of his scenes with a CGI tiger (which, it must be said, looks pretty realistic). But structurally, Life of Pi is—like the one it features onscreen—a shipwreck. Tedious scenes of an adult Pi and a Canadian author (presumably Martel) frame the film’s dramatic center, making the allegorical conceit all the schmaltzier. When at sea, Life of Pi’s grand visuals pick up some of the story’s slack. But back on land, it just runs aground. PG. REBECCA JACOBSON. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Cinema 21, Lloyd Center, Bridgeport, City Center, Evergreen Parkway.

Lincoln

B Lincoln opens with a shot of

Abraham’s very large, very statuesque head. As the camera pans to the front, the effect is startling. Though the 16th president has been put to film many times before, no one has looked the part like Daniel Day-

Lewis. He’s a ringer: hollowed cheeks, slightly unruly mop of hair, a creased forehead and heavy brow. So when Day-Lewis first moves and speaks, it’s weirdly disquieting. But the initial shock of a reanimated Abe quickly fades, because Day-Lewis’ portrayal goes beyond physical likeness: His performance is brilliantly malleable, fully inhabited and deeply transfixing. It’s Oscar bait of the highest order. The same can’t be said for all of Lincoln. Though Steven Spielberg’s stately drama is shrewd, balanced and impressively restrained, it’s also uneven and dogged by a waxy stuffiness, made worse by Janusz Kaminski’s cinematography, which is so dark and blue it looks bruised. Focusing on the fight to abolish slavery in the first few months of 1865, the film turns in mesmerizing moments of political wheeling and dealing, as well as blistering debates and brazen name-calling on the House floor—it’s C-SPAN with waistcoats and muttonchops. More like a stage production than a Spielbergian spectacle, some of the best dialogue comes during the boisterous House vote on the 13th Amendment. Though we know the result, Spielberg manages to imbue the scene with moral complexity and gripping tension, as well as rowdy humor. It’s both inspirational and disheartening: Could contemporary politicians overcome such partisan gridlock? “Say all we’ve done is shown the world that democracy isn’t chaos?” Lincoln asks at one point. Nearly 150 years on, can we claim the same? PG-13. REBECCA JACOBSON. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Forest, Lloyd Center, Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Evergreen Parkway, Fox Tower.

Marc Ribot Live: The Kid

NEW

A+ [ONE NIGHT ONLY] You know

that movie where someone drops a kid on the doorstep of some hapless ne’er-do-well who then comes to love the little tyke as his own? This film invented that trope. The madcap comedy with a tear-jerking dramatic heart of gold? First filmic dramedy, right here. Ever seen a child star? The Kid’s Jackie Coogan invented being a child star. So yeah: The legacy of Charlie Chaplin’s 1921 silent movie The Kid might be a little besmirched by what came after it—Three Men and a Baby, Jerry Lewis’ maudlin years, Honey Boo Boo—but the original product is as pure as it comes. Chaplin was never quite happy with the picture’s recorded music, recutting it as late as 1971, so there’s also no loss of purity in the Northwest Film Center bringing legendary guitarist Marc Ribot to score the film live. Ribot, best known for his grinding guitar work on Tom Waits’ Rain Dogs and Swordfishtrombones, plays the musical equivalent of the Little Tramp’s awkward gait: a herky-jerky hodgepodge of spare parts and artificial constraints that is nonetheless always under complete control. Behind the humorous and even slapstick delivery there is dignity, even grace. MATTHEW KORFHAGE. NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium. 7 pm Friday, Jan. 11. $14$18.

The Mummy

[TWO NIGHTS ONLY, REVIVAL] Boris Karloff owns Brendan Fraser. NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium. 8 pm Sunday and 8:30 pm Monday, Jan. 13-14.

Never Give a Sucker an Even Break

[TWO DAYS ONLY, REVIVAL] Nutty nonsense from W.C. Fields. NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium. 7 pm Thursday and 1 pm Saturday, Jan. 10 and 12.

Not Fade Away

D In the last moments of Not Fade Away, the first feature film written and directed by Sopranos creator David Chase, one of the minor characters appears on screen. She looks right in the camera and speaks slowly about the greatness of rock-’n’-roll music. Then she starts go-go dancing. Telling you this doesn’t spoil anything. Instead, it’s to warn you that in the five years since his award-winning mob drama ended, Chase has lost all sense of subtlety and trust in his audience,

Willamette Week JANUARY 9, 2013 wweek.com

and that the film’s previous two hours in no way support his grand premise. What we get instead is an impotent, semiautobiographical story that begs its audience to notice how many period-appropriate details it gets right. Hidden within all this ’60s window dressing is a plot that centers on Doug, a young gent from New Jersey (John Magaro) who aspires to greatness while pining for the prettiest girl in school. He eventually wins her over, thanks to his membership in a decent but ultimately hapless garage band. Chase makes stops on this journey for some scenes of Doug butting heads with his traditionalist father (an underused James Gandolfini) over his long hair, Cuban heels and liberal attitudes. Though it makes attempts at coherence and tries to delight in the power of rock music, what instead emerges is an episodic ode to the follies of youth. The dramatic moments are laughable, the romance feels like slapstick, and the attempts at comedy are groaningly bad. Every chord Chase and his cast and crew hit turns out distorted and out of tune. R. ROBERT HAM. Fox Tower.

Pillow Talk

[TWO DAYS ONLY, REVIVAL] The frothy bedroom farce starring Doris Day and Rock Hudson. NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium. 7 pm Saturday and 3 pm Sunday, Jan. 10-11.

Promised Land

B There are shots in Gus Van Sant’s Promised Land that could be mistaken for shots in 1991’s My Own Private Idaho: beautiful pastoral scenes, rolling country roads, the filmmaker’s signature time-lapse clouds. But where Idaho evokes Shakespeare and surrealism, Promised Land is a more humble film, about a farm boy-turnedcorporate salesman named Steve (Matt Damon) who travels to small American towns and buys up land to drill for natural gas. But as he goes door to door convincing the blue-collar Pennsylvania townsfolk that natural

gas promises an economic windfall, Steve begins to question his own silver-tongued pitch. It’s a familiar narrative arc—likable corporate villain undergoes crisis of conscience—executed skillfully and sympathetically, though hampered by a few preachy incidents and some dubious plot twists late in the film. As Steve, Damon (who also wrote the screenplay, along with fellow star John Krasinski) gives a characteristically genuine performance, trilling a consistent refrain: “I’m not a bad guy.” But when highschool science teacher—and former Boeing engineer—Frank Yates (a reliably twinkly Hal Holbrook) whips out some damning data on fracking, Steve flails. The real trouble, though, arrives in the form of the improbably named Dustin Noble (Krasinski), a slightly smarmy charmer who further peeves Steve by snaring pretty elementary schoolteacher Alice (a good-

REVIEW WILSON WEBB

MOVIES

Old Goats

B- Panning a film like Old Goats feels a bit like pushing your crotchety grandfather down a flight of stairs: No matter how much he may deserve it, it’s just a mean thing to do. A slice-oflife picture about finding purpose in late adulthood, it means exceedingly well. It’s the product of a first-time director working with a paltry budget, and it stars a trio of elderly non-actors, each playing a fictionalized version of himself and improvising most of the way through their roles. If there’s such a thing as a critic-proof movie, it’s this one. But, if we wish to remain honest, it must be said that Old Goats putters through its 90 minutes without telling much of a story. Focusing on a few weeks in the lives of three retirees—an aspiring memoirist clinging to his playboy lifestyle well into his 80s; a socially awkward bachelor who lives on a decrepit boat; a relatively younger, middle-class office worker just beginning to cope with life postjob—the film cycles through a series of artlessly shot golf games, dinner parties and coffee-shop conversations, strung together by jokes about senior dating and struggles with newfangled technology. Britt Cosley, as the lonely guy who sleeps at the docks, has a remarkably sympathetic face, and Bob Burkholder is really great at calling people assholes. Ultimately, though, watching Old Goats is like getting stuck in a conversation with a kindly senior citizen on the bus: You smile and nod, but the entire time you’re checking your watch and searching for an excuse to switch seats. MATTHEW SINGER. Living Room Theaters.

Parental Guidance

C- Artie Decker (Billy Crystal), the longtime announcer for Fresno’s minor-league baseball team, has just been fired. The aging Decker didn’t post on Facebook or tweet enough to satisfy management. And let’s not even discuss the last time he “hashtagged.” During the screening, an elderly woman sitting behind me snorted and turned to a small child: “I bet you know what all those terms meant,” she said. That, in a nutshell, is the target audience: old people who still find Crystal funny and children who don’t know any better. Bette Midler is also here for people who remember the ’80s and early ’90s. Parental Guidance even features a cameo by Tony Hawk, the Billy Crystal of skateboarding. Upon discovering they’re the second-tier grandparents, Midler and Crystal descend upon their daughter’s (Marisa Tomei) fully automated household to take care of their quirky grandkids while Tomei and her husband are out of town. The two out-of-touch grandparents bond with the kids and learn to become better parents. Tired technology jokes aside, this is a fairly pleasant, predictable and feel-good holiday movie. Even a Grinch like me chuckled a few times. PG. JOHN LOCANTHI. Cedar Hills, Clackamas, Cornelius, Bridgeport, Division, Evergreen Parkway, Hilltop, Sherwood, Wilsonville.

SHOOT ’EM UP: Sean Penn plays a psychopathic kingpin.

GANGSTER SQUAD Firing wild and missing the mark.

Talk about a misfire. Gangster Squad talks about it a few times. “Don’t aim for where it is,” one character, a quick shot with a Sam Elliott mustache, instructs another after he misses a moving target. “Aim for where it’s gonna be.” An extra-pulpy 1940s crime drama with visions of The Untouchables in its eyes, the film aims for homage, but the impatient direction of Ruben Fleischer (Zombieland) lacks the grace and wit of a true noir. Instead, it overshoots its mark, landing where most failed genre throwbacks do: as a hokey misremembrance. Based on the allegedly true story of an LAPD shadow unit that brought down one of the city’s most notorious crime lords, Gangster Squad stars Sean Penn as Mickey Cohen, a boxer-turned-psychopathic kingpin with a scowl permanently etched into his face. Seriously: The makeup gives Penn the look of a Dick Tracy villain, and he plays Cohen with attendant cartoonish malevolence. The new police chief (Nick Nolte, talking like he swallowed Tom Waits) gives Josh Brolin’s bullheaded but incorruptible Sgt. James O’Mara—a World War II vet for whom the war has not ended—the green light to engage in guerrilla combat with the previously untouchable Cohen. O’Mara sets out deputizing a rainbow coalition of vigilante clichés, including Black Guy With a Knife (Anthony Mackie), Craggy Old Sharpshooter (Robert Patrick) and his Mexican Apprentice (Michael Peña), and Brainiac Family Man (Giovanni Ribisi). Ryan Gosling, playing the flipside to Brolin’s eternal soldier, is a fellow vet for whom the war has ended and who is content to slurp cocktails and chase tail. Even though he’s given greater dimensions than the rest, Gosling’s usual smolder is snuffed by Will Beall’s underboiled script into prettyboy wallpaper, only there to fill out cool vintage suits and engage in a flimsy relationship with the Gangster’s Girlfriend (Emma Stone). O’Mara isn’t one for thinking or plotting—his entire plan of action is to charge into Cohen’s various establishments, shoot up the place and light his money on fire—and neither is Fleischer. His film bulldozes from elevator brawls to jailbreaks to car chases to a needlessly showy slow-mo shootout in a hotel lobby, pausing only for perfunctory male bonding and clunky dialogue that spells out the half-baked theme of the thin division between the lawful and the lawless. When Patrick gives that shooting lesson by tossing a beer can in the air, Peña takes the easy shot after the can lands in the dirt. I think I know how that can feels. MATTHEW SINGER.

C- SEE IT: Gangster Squad is rated R. It opens Friday at Bridgeport, Eastport, Clackamas, Lloyd Center, Pioneer Place, St. Johns, Division.

JAN. 9–15

Rise of the Guardians

C As with any successful children’s book, it was only a matter of time before Hollywood set its sights on adapting The Guardians of Childhood series. These novels follow the adventures of the titular defenders—Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny, among others—as they seek to protect the purity and joy of young people around the globe. And, as you might expect, much of the arch weirdness and fantastical beauty that author William Joyce is known for has been shorn off and replaced with over-thetop humor, blowsy voice acting and a tidy but trite narrative. In the film, the evil Pitch (voiced by Jude Law) threatens to blanket the spirit of the world’s children in blackness, a move that compels the Guardians to join forces and defend their charges. The journey is pleasant enough, thanks to some pretty incredible animation and some surprisingly dark moments. PG. ROBERT HAM. Eastport, Clackamas, Forest, Division, Sherwood.

Rolling Deep: Skateboarding, 1965-80 #2

[ONE NIGHT ONLY] More rare archival skateboarding footage. Hollywood Theatre. 7:30 pm Thursday, Jan. 10.

Silver Linings Playbook

A- With his first two pictures—1994’s

Spanking the Monkey and 1996’s Flirting With Disaster—director David O. Russell showed a mastery of familial discomfort, bringing to life the hilarity of tense situational extremes. In his mainstream work—the excellent boxing drama The Fighter and war-film deconstruction Three Kings—he demonstrated a keen eye for the comic potential of the self-destruction of the family unit. With Silver Linings Playbook, Russell revisits these themes and emerges with one of filmdom’s funniest stories of crippling manic depression. If Frank Capra had made an R-rated flick for the Prozac generation, it would look like this. The film follows the social reacclimation of Philly schoolteacher Pat (Bradley Cooper), who is institutionalized after beating his wife’s lover half to death. Pat forms an unlikely relationship with widow Tiffany (Jennifer Lawrence), who doggedly tries to win his affections despite the fact that he’s set on winning back the unwilling wife. Silver Linings strikes a delicate balance. This is a film that invites uncomfortable giggles at mental illness before exploding into frightening reality, as when a meet-cute segues into a terrifying domestic incident, with Cooper delivering an Oscar-caliber breakdown set to a Led Zeppelin song. As a family drama, Silver Linings is top tier. As a romance, it’s blissfully unconventional. And as a foulmouthed ode to classic Hollywood, well, Capra would have fucking approved. R. AP KRYZA. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Bridgeport, City Center, Evergreen Parkway, Fox Tower, Lloyd Mall.

Skyfall

A- James Bond should be forgiven a

little creakiness. Ian Fleming’s superspy has spent 22 films and 50 years getting punched and shot. His jet lag has to be excruciating. Let’s not even think of the wear on the old horndog’s nethers. But any concern about the franchise’s relevance is silenced within two seconds of Skyfall, which picks up in the middle of a batshit chase culminating in one of the most inventive train-top melees since young Indiana Jones rode the rails. To its

very last moment, Skyfall brilliantly maintains the gritty modernist aesthetic of Casino Royale while injecting elements that were largely absent in that installment, including gadgetry, sass and humor. Director Sam Mendes subtly humanizes Bond (Daniel Craig) by focusing on his relationship with M (Judi Dench) while keeping up a breakneck pace. Cinematographer Roger Deakins brings verve to each sequence, particularly a neondrenched fistfight in a high-rise and a prolonged shootout at a creaky Scottish manor. Skyfall also delivers an appropriately megalomaniacal villain in the creepy, bleached-blond Javier Bardem, a crazed, revenge-bent computer whiz with an itchy trigger finger and an Oedipus complex that would make Norman Bates cringe. As Bond, Craig brings a hard-edged cockiness and well-earned swagger in one of the year’s most crackling adventure films. PG-13. AP KRYZA. Eastport, Clackamas, Cornelius, Indoor Twin, Bridgeport, Evergreen Parkway, Lloyd Mall, Pioneer Place.

Struck by Lightning

D Chris Colfer has probably had

numerous film projects dangled in front of him in the wake of his breakaway success with the song-and-dance TV series Glee. He should be admired, then, for refusing such projects and deciding instead to write and produce a movie of his own. But it’s unfortunate that the finished product is such an emotional and thematic mishmash. Struck by Lightning concerns Carson Phillips (played by Colfer, natch), a small-town boy who is killed off in the first five minutes by the titular act of God. The dead lad narrates the rest of the story in flashback (à la Sunset Boulevard), leading us through his evolution from a snide, bitchy highschool senior whom everyone despises to a slightly less snide, less bitchy young man who stares wistfully at the sea looking for answers. He achieves this change by founding a literary magazine, meant to pad his college application, and then blackmailing his classmates for contributions. Somewhere in Struck by Lightning there lurks a lesson about following one’s dreams, but it gets buried under an unnecessary subplot involving Carson’s parents, tone-deaf comedy and juvenile poetics. ROBERT HAM. Living Room Theaters.

Talk Radio

[ONE NIGHT ONLY, REVIVAL] Clinton Street Theater and KBOO team up for a new monthly film series. First up: Oliver Stone’s drama about a vitriolic shock-radio host. R. Clinton Street Theater. 7 pm Thursday, Jan. 10.

Texas Chainsaw 3D

C There isn’t that much chainsaw action in Texas Chainsaw 3D. In most other regards, though, it functions exactly as you’d expect. As with most latter-day slashers, John Luessenhop’s iteration of the genre-defining series is more gory than scary. After an initially confusing montage made up of footage from Tobe Hooper’s 1974 original that establishes this as a direct sequel, the film eases into a stage-setting first act that creates a passably tense atmosphere. Like many horror movies, though, Texas Chainsaw 3D is better at ominously hinting at events to come than actually delivering them—and besides, watching a manchild with a chainsaw both outrun and outwit a group of able-bodied teens is only believable (or frightening) up to a point. Danger comes from both the chainsaw-wielding Leatherface and the badge-wearing cops, an angle that gradually (and effectively) reverses our sympathy. This is an artless exercise, yes, but it’s also sporadically successful in its attempts to expand on the Leatherface mythos in a newish way. Surprisingly, the film ends up more enjoyable for its thicker-thanwater subtext than for its requisite chainsaw violence, and Texas Chainsaw 3D is the rare superfluous sequel whose filmmaker actually seems familiar with (and invested in) the original material enough to put a worthwhile spin on it. It no doubt benefits from low expectations, but it turns out that this is the best bad slasher in quite a while. R. MICHAEL NORDINE. Cedar

Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Cornelius, Oak Grove, Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Evergreen Parkway, Hilltop, Lloyd Mall, Sherwood, Wilsonville.

This Is 40

B Judd Apatow’s latest undertaking revisits Pete (Paul Rudd) and Debbie (Leslie Mann), the churlish yet lovable couple first introduced in Knocked Up. The story picks up a few years after that rom-com, and though its tagline suggests otherwise, This Is 40 is not even “sort of” a sequel. Seth Rogen and Katherine Heigl are nowhere to be found, nor is there any mention of their characters. The hilariously fiery dynamic between Pete and Debbie, however, is here in full force. Pete and Debbie are turning 40 within a week of each other, and both make the middle-aged years look absolutely terrifying. Their lives are a depressing stew of resentment, regret and unfulfilling sex, all conveyed through sarcastic hyperbole. Pete, on the verge of losing his record label, spends his days cowering on the toilet, playing Words With Friends on his iPad, until Debbie inevitably sniffs him out and swoops in to blast him with a round of emotional blackmail. They spend much of their time fantasizing about one another’s demise. Though Apatow’s souped-up potty humor and fantastic cast keep the laughs coming from start to finish, This Is 40 at times frustrates in its insistence to be, well, just a movie about turning 40. The plot does not extend any further than that. But it’s still worth a watch: Apatow brings us close enough to Pete and Debbie that anyone can see a piece of themselves in their choppy love life. It may not work out so happily for everyone, but damn if This Is 40 doesn’t make it seem possible. R. EMILY JENSEN. Cedar Hills, Clackamas, Oak Grove, Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Evergreen Parkway, Hilltop, Lloyd Mall, Pioneer Place, Sherwood, Wilsonville.

This Is Not a Film

A This Is Not a Film opens with

Iranian filmmaker Jafar Panahi alone at his breakfast table, spreading jam on flatbread and talking to a friend over speakerphone. “I’m stuck in a problem,” he says. “Stuck” is quite the appropriate word, but the statement hardly conveys the gravity of his situation. He is sequestered in Tehran, under house arrest after being convicted of committing “propaganda against the Islamic Republic.” He faces a six-year prison sentence and a twodecade ban on leaving the country, giving interviews or making movies. He is awaiting word on his appeal to the state Supreme Court, a body not known for its generous clemency. To fill the time, Panahi calls over his buddy, the documentarian Mojtaba Mirtahmasb, to film him waiting. Confined to his apartment, there is little for Panahi to do. He feeds his daughter’s pet iguana. He orders takeout. He watches the news. What he is not doing—because, of course, it would violate the terms of his conviction—is making a movie. Under the circumstances, the mundanity of This Is Not a Film becomes a daring provocation. It is not a film, because it is something more: a work of passive-resistant protest. Grading such a project seems trivial, especially considering how it got to us, smuggled out of Iran on a flash drive hidden in a birthday cake. The fact we may see it at all is a triumph. MATTHEW SINGER. Living Room Theaters.

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2 C- The first Twilight hit theaters in 2008, a gentler time when fans of supernatural romance had less to choose from when it came to fanged and clawed eye candy. But a little sparkle just doesn’t cut it in 2012. And maybe that’s why the last installment in this eternal love story feels so halfhearted and painfully plodding. All Breaking Dawn Part 2 does is confirm that Edward and his family are one boring bunch of bloodsuckers. This time, the brood’s newest member— Edward and Bella’s vamp-human baby, Renesmee—is threatened by the evil masters of the undead, the Volturi. A handful of delicious moments come, as usual, from Michael Sheen, who plays

villainous Volturi head Aro as a tittering, red-eyed mouse from crazy town with a Napoleon complex. As in past Twi-movies, he seems to be the only member of the cast not taking the convoluted plot or wooden dialogue at all seriously and therefore is awesome. Similar to Breaking Dawn Part 1, which was saved by an amazing vampire C-section scene, Part 2 is somewhat redeemed by a surprisingly clever and bloody third act that seems to gleefully incinerate whole chunks of writer Stephenie Meyer’s original plotline. Purists will be incensed (briefly) while the rest of us bored stiffs warm to the sight of multiple decapitations and an honest-to-goodness river of lava. But don’t worry—in the end there are eventually kisses. And love. Endless love. Put a stake in it already, will ya? PG-13. KELLY CLARKE. Eastport, Indoor Twin, Division, Lloyd Mall.

What Is Your Outer Space Name?: An Evening of New Short Movies by James Westby

[ONE NIGHT ONLY] A free screening of comedic shorts by local filmmaker James Westby, known for his features Rid of Me, Film Geek and Auteur. Mississippi Studios. 8:30 pm Wednesday, Jan. 9.

Where Are My Children?

[ONE NIGHT ONLY] Lois Weber’s controversial 1916 film centers on a district attorney who prosecutes a doctor for illegal abortions, only to discover that his wife and other socialites have been using such services. NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium. 8:30 pm Thursday, Jan. 10.

REVIEW R O G E R A R PA J O U

spirited but dramatically superfluous Rosemarie DeWitt). Though Van Sant’s assured direction allows the drama to build quietly, Promised Land can’t help but wear its heart on its sleeve, and in the third act succumbs to a cheap shock. In a picture that’s otherwise well-acted, well-intentioned and handsomely shot, such late-inthe-game manipulations of storytelling leave a sour taste. Van Sant has called Promised Land his opportunity to make a movie in the spirit of Frank Capra, but the machinations of Damon and Krasinski’s screenplay have done him a disservice. R. REBECCA JACOBSON. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Oak Grove, Bridgeport, Fox Tower, Lloyd Mall.

MOVIES

GIDDYAP: Matthias Schoenaerts gives Marion Cotillard a ride.

RUST AND BONE Rust and Bone’s soundtrack features Bon Iver, “Love Shack” by the B-52s, and Katy Perry’s “Firework.” Such contrivances are rivaled only by the film’s implausible premise: A driven trainer of orcas (Marion Cotillard), who has just lost her legs in a freak accident at a Sea World-like park on the French Riviera, falls in love with a thuggish drifter (Matthias Schoenaerts). It sounds like a romantic melodrama that’s been sprinkled with Free Willy dust and set to a college freshman’s road-trip playlist. And yet, in this film about beating the odds, both soundtrack and plot manage to do just that. The romance begins almost conventionally. Schoenaerts’ character, Ali, is a nightclub bouncer who breaks up a fight involving Cotillard’s Stephanie. He escorts her home and nonchalantly comments that she’s dressed like a whore. When he notes the photos of whales at her apartment, she spits back: “You’re surprised a whore can train orcas.” The relationship doesn’t build until later, after Stephanie’s catastrophe and after Ali has moved on to a gig as a security guard (which he supplements with petty crime and street fighting). Writer-director Jacques Audiard doesn’t really explain what impels Stephanie to phone Ali after losing her legs, but by this point, we don’t care. We’ve seen each character broken— Stephanie physically and Ali spiritually—and their union feels hard-won. Cotillard turns in a phenomenal, intoxicating performance. With eyes that simultaneously exude warmth and steeliness, she conveys Stephanie’s anguish, shame and eventual embrace of pleasure with raw energy and vulnerability. How sympathetic you find Ali may depend on your predilection for bare-knuckled brawling, which Audiard depicts with gritty naturalism. Schoenaerts can’t compare to Cotillard, but he’s a believably jagged father and lover. Rust and Bone recalls The Sessions, another recent picture about sex and disability. In that film, a severely disabled man employs a sex surrogate to lose his virginity. Likewise, Stephanie and Ali’s sexual relationship grows not out of lust or emotional compatibility: Stephanie fears she’s no longer operational, and Ali matter-of-factly offers his services. In both films, what begins as an act of physical therapy for a single character becomes hard-fought emotional rehabilitation for both participants. Based on a true story, The Sessions has a leg up on Rust and Bone, but the latter pummels and tenses in ways the former doesn’t. REBECCA JACOBSON.

In which an orca bites off Marion Cotillard’s legs.

B+

SEE IT: Rust and Bone is rated R. It opens Friday at Fox Tower. Willamette Week JANUARY 9, 2013 wweek.com

MOVIES

JAN. 11–17

BREWVIEWS CORINTH FILMS

12:10, 02:35, 05:00, 07:25, 09:50 HYDE PARK ON HUDSON Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 11:55, 02:50, 04:55, 07:10, 10:10 LIFE OF PI Wed 11:35 SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 11:30, 02:15, 04:45, 07:15, 10:05 ANNA KARENINA Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 11:35, 02:05, 04:45, 07:25, 09:40 LINCOLN FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:45, 02:45, 06:30, 09:30 NOT FADE AWAY Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue 11:30 RUST AND BONE Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 11:35, 02:10, 04:40, 07:15, 09:45

NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium

FATE OF FAME: Frederico Fellini’s lucid, semiautobiographical 1963 landmark, 8½, could be considered the template for filmdom’s self-aggrandizing tendencies. Suffering from director’s block, Fellini looked deep inside himself and decided to direct a movie about a director with director’s block who suffers through his process and retreats into his dreams and fantasies when frustrated. Poor guy. All these gorgeous women want to be with him. All the men want to be him. The film is a relic of a master, a sterling look at the glamor that, to this day, the elite receive with a shrug. The elitism can leave a sour taste, but damned if Fellini’s dreams aren’t as gorgeous to the eye as they are disheartening to the soul. AP KRYZA. Showing at: Hollywood. Best paired with: Burnside IPA. Also showing: Dumb and Dumber (Laurelhurst).

Visual arts

Lloyd Center 10 and IMAX

1510 NE Multnomah St., 800-326-3264 THE METROPOLITAN OPERA: UN BALLO IN MASCHERA ENCORE Wed 06:30 THE HOBBIT: AN UNEXPECTED JOURNEY 3D Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 04:40, 08:35 DJANGO UNCHAINED Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 12:00, 01:00, 03:55, 05:00, 07:50, 09:30 LES MISÉRABLES Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:30, 03:05, 06:40, 10:10 TEXAS CHAINSAW 3D Wed 12:05, 02:30, 04:55, 07:25, 09:50 LINCOLN Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 11:40, 03:15, 06:50, 10:15 LIFE OF PI 3D Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:50, 04:25, 07:20, 10:25 SKYFALL Wed 12:20, 03:45, 07:05, 10:20 CIRQUE DU SOLEIL: WORLDS AWAY 3D Wed 12:10, 02:25 THIS IS 40 Wed 12:15, 03:25 ZERO DARK THIRTY Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue 11:30, 03:00, 06:30, 10:00 GANGSTER SQUAD Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue 12:40, 03:45, 06:50, 09:55 A HAUNTED HOUSE Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 12:05, 02:20, 04:40, 07:00, 09:20

Regal Lloyd Mall 8

Gallery listings and more! PAGE 36 42

Willamette Week JANUARY 9, 2013 wweek.com

2320 Lloyd Center Mall, 800-326-3264 THE HOBBIT: AN UNEXPECTED JOURNEY Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:05, 04:00, 08:30 LES MISÉRABLES Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 12:35, 04:15, 08:40 PROMISED LAND Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:00, 03:00, 06:20, 08:50 NOT FADE AWAY Wed 12:30, 03:25, 06:00, 09:05 SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 12:25, 03:15, 06:05, 08:45 JACK REACHER Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:15, 03:10, 06:10, 09:10 PARENTAL GUIDANCE Wed 12:20, 03:30, 06:15, 08:55 RISE OF THE GUARDIANS Wed 12:10, 03:10 THE

TWILIGHT SAGA: BREAKING DAWN PART 2 Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 06:25, 09:10 TEXAS CHAINSAW 3D Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 12:10, 03:20, 06:30, 08:55 THIS IS 40 Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 12:30, 03:25, 06:20, 09:15 SKYFALL Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue 11:55, 03:00, 06:05, 09:10

Bagdad Theater and Pub

3702 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 503-249-7474 WRECK-IT RALPH Fri-SatSun-Wed 06:00 SEVEN PSYCHOPATHS Fri-SatSun-Wed 08:45 NO FILMS SHOWING TODAY Mon-Tue

Cinema 21

616 NW 21st Ave., 503-223-4515 LIFE OF PI 3D Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue 04:15, 07:00, 09:25

Clinton Street Theater

2522 SE Clinton St., 503-238-8899 ALL TOGETHER Wed 07:00 THE SHEIK AND I Wed 09:00 NO FILMS SHOWING TODAY Sun I AM NOT A HIPSTER Fri 07:00 THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW Sat 11:59 JON JOST RETROSPECTIVE Mon-Tue 07:00

Laurelhurst Theatre & Pub

2735 E Burnside St., 503-232-5511 BEING JOHN MALKOVICH Wed 09:15 WRECK-IT RALPH Fri-Sat-Sun-Wed 09:00 KILLING THEM SOFTLY Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 09:45 THE PERKS OF BEING A WALLFLOWER Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 07:00 SEVEN PSYCHOPATHS Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 07:15 LOOPER Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 09:35 BEASTS OF THE SOUTHERN WILD Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed

06:45 SEARCHING FOR SUGAR MAN Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 07:30 THE SESSIONS Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue 07:30 DUMB & DUMBER Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue 09:40 A LATE QUARTET Fri-Sat-Sun 04:40

Mission Theater and Pub

1624 NW Glisan St., 503-249-7474-5 WRECK-IT RALPH Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 05:30 THE MAN WITH THE IRON FISTS Fri-Sat-Mon-TueWed 09:50 THE PERKS OF BEING A WALLFLOWER Wed 07:50 KILLING THEM SOFTLY Fri-Sat-Mon-Tue 07:50 PORTLANDIA Fri 07:00, 10:00

Roseway Theatre

7229 NE Sandy Blvd., 503-282-2898 THE HOBBIT: AN UNEXPECTED JOURNEY 3D Wed 12:00, 04:00, 08:00 ZERO DARK THIRTY FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue 12:00, 04:00, 08:00

Hollywood Theatre

4122 NE Sandy Blvd., 503-281-4215 ANNA KARENINA Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 06:45, 09:15 HITCHCOCK Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 07:10, 09:00 HOLY MOTORS Wed 09:45 QUICKSILVER Wed 07:30 ROLLING DEEP: SKATEBOARDING FILMS 1965-80 8 1/2 Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue 07:00, 09:30 CHASING ICE Sat-Sun 05:10 SUNDANCE SHORTS SatSun 04:45 36TH CHAMBER OF SHAOLIN Tue 07:30

Regal Fox Tower Stadium 10

846 SW Park Ave., 800-326-3264 PROMISED LAND Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:50, 02:20, 04:40, 07:05, 09:30 LES MISÉRABLES Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:40, 12:20, 02:00, 03:45, 05:15, 07:00, 09:00 DJANGO UNCHAINED Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 12:00, 02:15, 03:30, 05:30, 07:30, 08:45, 09:20 THE IMPOSSIBLE Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed

1219 SW Park Ave., 503-221-1156 NO FILMS SHOWING TODAY Tue-Wed NEVER GIVE A SUCKER AN EVEN BREAK Sat 01:00 WHERE ARE MY CHILDREN? THE KID Fri 07:00 DO THE RIGHT THING Sat 04:15 PILLOW TALK Sat-Sun 03:00 DRACULA Sun 06:30 THE MUMMY Sun 08:00 DRACULA Mon 07:00 THE MUMMY Mon 08:30

Regal Pioneer Place Stadium 6

340 SW Morrison St., 800-326-3264 THIS IS 40 Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 12:40, 03:45, 07:00, 10:10 JACK REACHER Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:45, 03:50, 07:10, 10:20 PARENTAL GUIDANCE Wed 01:15, 04:30, 07:20, 10:00 SKYFALL Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 01:30, 04:45, 08:15 THE HOBBIT: AN UNEXPECTED JOURNEY 3D Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:30, 08:00 THE HOBBIT: AN UNEXPECTED JOURNEY Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 04:15 NOT FADE AWAY Wed 01:00, 04:05, 07:15, 10:15 GANGSTER SQUAD Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue 12:40, 03:40, 07:00, 10:10 ZERO DARK THIRTY Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 01:00, 04:30, 08:15

Academy Theater

7818 SE Stark St., 503-252-0500 WRECK-IT RALPH Wed 02:10, 04:35, 07:00 LOOPER Wed 09:25 HOTEL TRANSYLVANIA Wed 02:30, 04:45 KILLING THEM SOFTLY Wed 06:45, 09:00 THE PERKS OF BEING A WALLFLOWER Wed 02:45, 07:20 SEVEN PSYCHOPATHS Wed 05:00, 09:35

Living Room Theaters 341 SW 10th Ave., 971-222-2010 ANY DAY NOW Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 12:20, 02:40, 05:10, 07:30, 09:35 MY WORST NIGHTMARE Wed 12:30, 02:50, 05:20, 07:40, 09:45 NOW, FORAGER Wed 05:00, 09:20 CIRQUE DU SOLEIL: WORLDS AWAY 3D Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 12:00, 02:20, 04:40, 06:50, 09:10 GREGORY CREWDSON: BRIEF ENCOUNTERS Wed 12:05 THE GUILT TRIP Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 02:00, 04:25, 06:40, 09:00 OLD GOATS Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 12:10, 02:30, 07:15 ARGO Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 11:50, 01:50, 04:15, 07:00, 09:30 STRUCK BY LIGHTNING Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue 12:10, 02:50, 05:10, 07:20, 09:20 THIS IS NOT A FILM Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 12:30, 02:40, 07:40 HOLY MOTORS Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue 05:00, 09:25

SUBJECT TO CHANGE. CALL THEATERS OR VISIT WWEEK.COM/MOVIETIMES FOR THE MOST UP-TODATE INFORMATION FRIDAY-THURSDAY, JAN. 11-17, UNLESS OTHERWISE INDICATED

CLASSIFIEDS DIRECTORY 43

WELLNESS

44 MOTOR TO PLACE AN AD CONTACT:

43 MUSICIANS’ MARKET

44 RENTALS & REAL ESTATE ASHLEE HORTON

44 JOBS

STUFF

44 PETS

503-445-3647 • ahorton@wweek.com

45 JONESIN’ TRACY BETTS

JANUARY 9, 2013

44 BULLETIN BOARD

45 MATCHMAKER

WILL 46 FREE ASTROLOGY

503-445-2757 • tbetts@wweek.com

WELLNESS SERVICE DIRECTORY

44 SERVICES

MUSICIANS MARKET FOR FREE ADS in 'Musicians Wanted,' 'Musicians Available' & 'Instruments for Sale' go to portland.backpage.com and submit ads online. Ads taken over the phone in these categories cost $5.

COUNSELING

INSTRUMENTS FOR SALE TRADEUPMUSIC.COM

HOME CARPET CLEANING SW Steampro 503-268-2821

www.steamprocarpetcleaners.com

COMPUTER REPAIR NE Portland Mac Tech 25 SE 62nd Ave. Portland, Oregon 97213 503-998-9662

STYLE SEWING & ALTERATIONS N Spiderweb Sewing Studio

HOME IMPROVEMENT SW Jill Of All Trades 6905 SW 35th Ave. Portland, Oregon 97219 503-244-0753

PROPERTY MANAGEMENT SW JMPDX LLC 1505 SW 6th #8155 Portland, Oregon 97207 503-730-5464

TREE SERVICE NE Steve Greenberg Tree Service 1925 NE 61st Ave. Portland, Oregon 97213 503-774-4103

AUDIO SE

Inner Sound

1416 SE Morrison Street Portland, Oregon 97214 503-238-1955 www.inner-sound.com

CELL PHONE REPAIR N Revived Cellular & Technology 7816 N. Interstate Ave. Portland, Oregon 97217 503-286-1527 www.revivedcellular.com

MASSAGE (LICENSED)

503-750-6586 spiderwebsewingstudio@gmail.com 7204 N. Leonard St Portland, Or 97203

GADGET SE Gadget Fix 1012 SE 96th Ave. Portland, Oregon 97216 503-255-2988 Next to Target (Mall 205)

Totally Relaxing Massage

Featuring Swedish, deep tissue and sports techniques by a male therapist. Conveniently located, affordable, and preferring male clientele at this time. #5968 By appointment Tim 503.575.0356

REL A X!

INDULGE YOURSELF in an - AWESOME FULL BODY MASSAGE

call

PAINTING

Charles

503-740-5120

lmt#6250

SW S. Mike Klobas Painting

Skilled, Male LMT

Interior & Exterior 503-646-8359 CCB #100360

Massage openings in the Mt. Tabor area. Call Jerry for info. 503-757-7295. LMT6111.

MOVING Alienbox LLC 503-919-1022 alienbox.com

HAULING N LJ Hauling

MUSIC LESSONS GUITAR LESSONS Personalized instruction for over 15yrs. Adults & children. Beginner through advanced. www.danielnoland.com 503-546-3137 Learn Jazz & Blues Piano with local Grammy winner Peter Boe. 503-274-8727.

STUFF

PHYSICAL FITNESS BILL PEC Personal Trainer & Independent Contractor

• Strength Training • Body Shaping • Nutrition Counseling

www.billpecfitness.com

FURNITURE

BEDTIME

TWINS

MATTRESS

COMPANY

FULL $ 89

QUEEN

(503)

760-1598

109

7353 SE 92nd Ave Mon-Fri 9-5, Sat 10-2

Custom Sizes » Made To Order Financing Available

MISCELLANEOUS Counseling Individuals, Couples and Groups Stephen Shostek, CET

1348 SE 82nd Ave. Portland, Oregon 97216 503-254-2886 www.FamilyAutoNetwork.com

Stop paying outrageous prices! Best prices... VIAGRA 100MG, 40 pills+/4 free, only $99.00. Discreet shipping, Power Pill. 1-800-374-2619

503-252-6035

COLLISION REPAIR NE Atomic Auto

AUTO REPAIR SE Family Auto Network

Take Viagra?

AT THE GYM, OR IN YOUR HOME

AUTO

2510 NE Sandy Blvd Portland, Or 97232 503-969-3134 www.atomicauto.biz

MEN’S HEALTH

Buying, selling, instruments of every shape and size. Open 11am-7pm every day. 4701 SE Division & 1834 NE Alberta.

Relationships, Life Transitions, Personal Growth

Affordable Rates • No-cost Initial Consult www.stephenshostek.com

503-963-8600

Gambling Too Much?

Free, confidential help is available statewide. Call 1-877-MY-LIMIT to talk to a certified counselor 24/7 or visit 1877mylimit.org to chat live with a counselor. We are not here to judge. We are here to help. You can get your life back.

Buy 3 massages get 4th one free. 1 hr massage $75 Buy 3 Express Facials get 4th one free, Express Facial $60 Monday–Saturday, 9–6:

ELIXIA WELLNESS 503.232.5653

Sundays: COMMON

JOBS >> PG. 44

ALTERNATIVE MEDICINE

REBUILT VINTAGE PFAFF 130-6

LT. INDUSTRIAL SEWING MACHINE $600.00 FOR DETAILS CALL 503 380 0018 jjimy2@yahoo.com

OMMP Resource Center Providing Safe Access to Medicine

503.238.1065

Valid MMJ Card Holders Only No Membership Dues or Door Fees

KEN (LMT#10773) nowradiance.wordpress.com

“Simply the Best Meds”

GROUND WELLNESS

MORE ADS ONLINE @ WWEEK.COM

www.rosecitywellnesscenter.com

503-839-7222 3642 N. Farragut Portland, Or 97217 moneymone1@gmail.com

WWEEK.COM WillametteWeek Classiﬁeds JANUARY 9, 2013 wweek.com

JOBS

ASHLEE HORTON

503-445-3647 • ahorton@wweek.com

TRACY BETTS

BULLETIN BOARD SERVICES WILLAMETTE WEEK’S GATHERING PLACE NON-PROFIT DISCOUNTS AVAILABLE.

CAREER TRAINING AIRLINE CAREERS

Become an Aviation Maintenance Tech. FAA approved training. Financial aid if qualified - Housing available. Job placement assistance. CALL Aviation Institute of Maintenance 877-492-3059 (AAN CAN)

ATTEND COLLEGE ONLINE

from home. *Medical, *Business, *Criminal Justice, *Hospitality. Job placement assistance. Computer available. Financial Aid if qualified. SCHEV authorized. Call 800-481-9472 www.CenturaOnline.com (AAN CAN)

GENERAL BARTENDING

$$300/day potential. No experience necessary. Training available. 800-965-6520 x206.

BUILDING/REMODELING ADOPTION ADOPTION:

Abundant love, patience and security are what we offer your baby. Travel, excellent education, arts and adventure await with two committed dads. Please call, TEXT or email anytime about Mark and Jeff; 503-683-2043 or markandjeff1@gmail.com.

*ADOPTION*

Advertising & TV Executives yearn for 1st baby to LOVE & CHERISH. Expenses paid *1-800-989-8921* PREGNANT? CONSIDERING ADOPTION? Talk with caring agency specializing in matching Birthmothers with Families nationwide. LIVING EXPENSES PAID. Call 24/7 Abby’s One True Gift Adoptions. 866-413-6293 (AAN CAN)

CLEANING

LESSONS CLASSICAL PIANO/ KEYBOARD

Theory Performance. All levels. Portland 503-227-6557 and 503-735-5953.

MISCELLANEOUS PSALMS - 1

www.ExtrasOnly.com 503.227.1098 Help Wanted!

Make extra money in our free ever popular homemailer program, includes valuable guidebook! Start Immediately! Genuine! 1-888-292-1120 www.howtowork-fromhome.com (AAN CAN)

Help Wanted!!

Make $1000 A WEEK mailing brochures from home! FREE Supplies! Helping Home-Workers since 2001! Genuine Opportunity! No experience required. Start Immediately! www.mailingcentral.net (AAN CAN)

EMPLOYMENT OPPORTUNITIES Drivers Needed

To drive executives. Will train. Work locally or Nationwide. Cash daily. Need Car and Cell phone. Job info call 323-871-5802 or 702-216-2905. Manager 609-721-2193 or 347-972-8046 $$$HELP WANTED$$$ Extra Income! Assembling CD cases from Home! No Experience Necessary! Call our Live Operators Now! 1-800-405-7619 EXT 2450 www.easywork-greatpay.com (AAN CAN)

503-445-2757 • tbetts@wweek.com

Blessed is the Man that walks NOT in the counsel of the ungodly, nor stands [in support of ] the Way of Sinners, nor sits in the seat of the scornful. But his delight is in the LAW [Commandments] of the Lord; And in HIS Law does he meditate day and night. Therefore, he shall be like a Tree planted by the Waters, that brings forth fruit in his Season; his leaf shall not wither - and whatsoever he does shall prosper. Yet the ungodly are NOT so! But are like the chaff, which is scattered by the Wind. For the ungodly shall NOT stand in the Day of Judgment - nor Sinners in the Congregation of the Righteous. As the Lord knows [and helps] the Way of the Righteous; But the Way of the ungodly shall cause him to Perish! (Psalms 1:1-6) For a just Man may fall seven times, yet [with the Lord’s Help] he shall rise again! But the wicked shall fall into mischief [and not be found again] (Proverbs 24:16) chapel@gorge.net

HANDYPERSON MILLS HANDYMAN AND REMODELING 503-245-4397. Free Estimate. Affordable, Reliable. Insured/Bonded. CCB#121381

LANDSCAPING Bernhard’s Professional MaintenanceComplete yard care, 20 years. 503-515-9803. Licensed and Insured.

TREE SERVICES Steve Greenberg Tree Service

MORE CLASSIFIEDS ONLINE @ WWEEK.COM

TO PLACE AN AD CONTACT:

MOTOR

RENTALS

GENERAL

ROOMMATE SERVICES

“Atomic Auto New School Technology, Old School Service” www.atomicauto.biz mention you saw this ad in WW and receive 10% off for your 1st visit!

AUTOS WANTED CASH FOR CARS: Any Car/Truck. Running or Not! Top Dollar Paid. We Come To You! Call For Instant Offer: 1-888-420-3808 www.cash4car.com (AAN CAN)

ALL AREAS - ROOMMATES.COM. Browse hundreds of online listings with photos and maps. Find your roommate with a click of the mouse! Visit: www.Roommates.com. (AAN CAN)

REAL ESTATE COMMERCIAL COMMERCIAL RETAIL SPACE AVAILABLE ON CAPITOL HIGHWAY!

Beautiful & Unique, 965 Sq Ft of Retail or Creative Space, With Bamboo Floors, 1/2 Bath, Break Room, Wonderful Landscaped Yards, Deck, Ample Storage With Off Street Parking. $1450, Call 503-292-7794!

CALL TO LIST YOUR PROPRTY 503-445-3647 or 503-445-2757

REAL ESTATE 20 ACRES FREE

Buy 40-Get 60 acres. $0-Down, $168/ month. Money back gaurentee. NO CREDIT CHECKS. Beautiful views. Roads/surveyed. Near El Paso, Texas. 1-800-843-7537 www.SunsetRanches.com (AAN CAN)

PETS

Pruning and removals, stump grinding. 24-hour emergency service. Licensed/ Insured. CCB#67024. Free estimates. 503-284-2077

SUPPORT GROUPS ALANON Sunday Rainbow

5:15 PM meeting. G/L/B/T/Q and friends. Downtown Unitarian Universalist Church on 12th above Taylor. 503-309-2739.

Got Meth Problems? Need Help?

Oregon CMA 24 hour Hot-line Number: 503-895-1311. We are here to help you! Information, support, safe & confidential!

Fritter

Hi friends! My name is Fritter because I am warm, toasty and delicious! Really, is there anything better than that during these long winter days? I am a 7 year old Dachshund with a goofy, fun-loving attitude and a true zest for life! I do great with other dogs and cats which makes me a perfect companion for just about any household! I am totally house trained and I have fantastic house manners so seriously....could I be any more appealing? I am as soft and sleek on the outside as I am warm and gooey on the inside...I just might be the perfect man! 503-542-3432 • 510 NE MLK Blvd • pixieproject.org

WillametteWeek Classiﬁeds JANUARY 9, 2013 wweek.com

TO PLACE AN AD CONTACT:

ASHLEE HORTON

503-445-3647 • ahorton@wweek.com

TRACY BETTS

503-445-2757 • tbetts@wweek.com

JONESIN’ by Matt Jones 59 Insts. of higher learning 60 Corporate honcho 61 Take ___ from 62 Gives the thumbs-up to 63 Benedict of “The A-Team” 64 His ___ (cribbage term; anagram of SNOB) Down 1 Fit and Civic 2 “The Far Side” organism 3 Subjects of gazing 4 Trix ﬂavor 5 Metal band known for its foam costumes 6 Duncan appointed to the Obama cabinet 7 “Damages” actor Donovan 8 Gift giver’s command 9 Peninsula in SE Asia 10 Sacha Baron Cohen character 11 It’s reached after returning from a long journey 12 Meets by chance 13 Mag workers 21 One of 26 for Stevie Wonder 22 They can crash 26 Ring decision 29 Lucy of “Elementary” 30 Airport abbr. 31 Picture puzzle 32 Put your hands together 33 “Ghost Hunters” network 34 Continent home to the world’s newest nation 35 Genre for Talking Heads and Killing Joke 36 Class including

salamanders and toads 37 Olympics chant 38 Teddy bear exterior 39 Average grade 42 Place where you need a PIN 43 Completely got 44 Total disaster 45 Marinade alternative 46 Website to see if your favorite urban legend is

really true 48 “Prelude to ___” 50 Jordan’s capital 52 Army’s football rival 53 Skirt length 54 Done with 55 Fire 56 The Swell Season, e.g.

last week’s answers

Across 1 Chill, as with your homies 5 Perro’s housemate 9 Champion skier Phil 14 Epps of “House” 15 Tortilla’s cousin 16 How storybooks are read 17 Long-running PBS show 18 Stud stakes 19 Describes in words 20 Chess computer + thick directory? 23 More up to it 24 Like some January forecasts 25 Obedience school command 27 Carrier based in Sigtuna, Sweden 28 News notices 32 Bop on the head 33 Hit, in olden times 34 Samuel on the Supreme Court 35 Source of wealth + source of mozzarella? 39 Ready to rest 40 Seize 41 Award given by a cable station 42 Aziz of “Parks and Recreation” 44 They house engines, for short 47 Biblical verb ending 48 ___ standstill 49 Toto’s type of terrier 51 Colorful bubbly + Dallas Mavericks shooting guard? 56 Home of Jumeirah Beach 57 Hot rock 58 Figure on a car sticker

“Mixology”–take two ingredients and stir.

©2012 Jonesin’ Crosswords (editor@jonesincrosswords.com) For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle #JONZ605.

Located Downtown

18 and over

Strip Club Hot Lap Dance Club 324 sw 3rd ave • 503.274.1900

BUSINESS HOURS ARE -

Featuring Krissi

6PM TO SUNRISE

1/2 of admission with this ad WillametteWeek Classiﬁeds JANUARY 9, 2013 wweek.com

TO PLACE AN AD CONTACT:

ASHLEE HORTON

503-445-3647 • ahorton@wweek.com

TRACY BETTS

YOU ARE 10 DIGITS AWAY from your 15 minutes of fame!

It's FREE to participate in the FORUMS and create your own FORUM on any topic.

Chat LIVE with other callers! UNLIMITED VIP access

Only $19/ WEEK! •STRAIGHT•GAY•BI LIVECHAT • PERSONALS • FORUMS

503-222-CHAT (2428) VANCOUVER 360-696-5253 TACOMA 253-359-CHAT

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LIVELINE DOES NOT PRESCREEN MEMEBERS! 18+ 46

WillametteWeek Classifieds JANUARY 9, 2013 wweek.com

Week of January 10

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Writing at io9.com, Charlie Jane Anders provides “10 Signs You Could Be the Chosen Savior.” Among the clues are the following: 1. “How often does someone comes up to you on the street, point at you, gibber something inarticulate, and run away?” 2. “How many robot/ clone duplicates of yourself have you come across?” 3. “Is there a blurry black-and-white photo or drawing from history that sort of looks like you?” 4. “Have you achieved weird feats that nobody could explain, but which nobody else witnessed?” Now would be a good time for you to take this test, Aries. You’re in a phase of your astrological cycle when your dormant superpowers may finally be awakening -- a time when you might need to finally claim a role you’ve previously been unready for. (Read Anders’ article here: http:// tinyurl.com/AreYouChosen.) TAURUS (April 20-May 20): “Dear Rob the Astrologer: I have a big question for you. If I could get access to a time machine, where would you suggest I should go? Is there a way to calculate the time and place where I could enjoy favorable astrological connections that would bring out the best in me? -Curious Taurus.” Dear Curious: Here are some locations that might be a good fit for you Tauruses right now: Athens, Greece in 459 B.C.; Constantinople in 1179; Florence, Italy in 1489; New York in 2037. In general, you would thrive wherever there are lots of bright people co-creating a lively culture that offers maximum stimulation. You need to have your certainties challenged and your mind expanded and your sense of wonder piqued. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Will archaeologists find definitive evidence of the magical lost continent of Atlantis in 2013? Probably not. How about Shambhala, the mythical kingdom in Central Asia where the planet’s greatest spiritual masters are said to live? Any chance it will be discovered by Indiana Jones-style fortune hunters? Again, not likely. But I do think there’s a decent chance that sometime in the next seven months, many of you Geminis will discover places, situations, and circumstances that will be, for all intents and purposes, magical and mythical. CANCER (June 21-July 22): There’s a spot in the country of Panama where you can watch the sun rise in the east over the Pacific Ocean. In another Panamanian location, you can see the sun set in the west over the Atlantic Ocean. Nothing weird is involved. Nothing twisted or unearthly. It’s simply a quirk of geography. I suspect that a similar situation will be at work in your life sometime soon. Things may seem out of place. Your sense of direction might be off-kilter, and even your intuition could seem to be playing tricks on you. But don’t worry. Have no fear. Life is simply asking you to expand your understanding of what “natural” and “normal” are. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Metaphorically speaking, a pebble was in your shoe the whole past week. You kept thinking, “Pretty soon I’ve got to take a minute to get rid of that thing,” and yet you never did. Why is that? While it wasn’t enormously painful, it distracted you just enough to keep you from giving your undivided attention to the important tasks at hand. Now here’s a news flash: The damn pebble is still in your shoe. Can I persuade you to remove it? Please? VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Even when you know exactly what you want, it’s sometimes crucial for you not to accomplish it too fast. It may be that you need to mature more before you’re ready to handle your success. It could be that if you got all of your heart’s desire too quickly and easily, you wouldn’t develop the vigorous willpower that the quest was meant to help you forge. The importance of good timing can’t be underestimated, either: In order for you to take full advantage of your dream-come-true, many other factors in your life have to be in place and arranged just so. With those thoughts in mind, Virgo, I offer you this prediction for 2013: A benevolent version of a perfect storm is headed your way. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Artists who painted images in caves 30,000 years ago did a pretty good job of depicting the movements of four-legged animals like

horses. In fact, they were more skilled than today’s artists. Even the modern experts who illustrate animal anatomy textbooks don’t match the accuracy of the people who decorated cave walls millennia ago. So says a study reported in Livescience.com (http:// tinyurl.com/CaveArtMagic). I’d like to suggest this is a useful metaphor for you to consider, Libra. There’s some important task that the old you did better than the new you does. Now would be an excellent time to recapture the lost magic. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): After evaluating your astrological omens for the coming months, I’ve decided to name you Scorpios the “Top Sinners of the Year” for 2013. What that means is that I suspect your vices will be more inventive and more charming than those of all the other signs. Your so-called violations may have the effect of healing some debilitating habit. In fact, your “sins” may not be immoral or wicked at all. They might actually be beautiful transgressions that creatively transcend the status quo; they might be imaginative improvements on the half-assed way that things have always been done. To ensure you’re always being ethical in your outlaw behavior, be committed to serving the greater good at least as much as your own selfish interests. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Here’s the horoscope I hope to be able to write for you a year from now: “Your mind just kept opening further and further during these past 12 months, Sagittarius -- way beyond what I ever imagined possible. Congrats! Even as you made yourself more innocent and receptive than you’ve been in a long time, you were constantly getting smarter and sharpening your ability to see the raw truth of what was unfolding. Illusions and misleading fantasies did not appeal to you. Again, kudos!” CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): What does it mean when the dwarf planet Pluto impacts a key point in your horoscope? For Capricorn gymnast Gabby Douglas, it seemed to be profoundly empowering. During the time Pluto was close to her natal sun during last year’s Summer Olympics, she won two gold medals, one with her team and one by herself. Luck had very little to do with her triumph. Hard work, self-discipline, and persistence were key factors. I’m predicting that Pluto’s long cruise through the sign of Capricorn will give you an opportunity to earn a Gabby Douglas-like achievement in your own sphere -- if, that is, you can summon the same level of willpower and determination that she did. Now would be an excellent time to formally commit yourself to the glorious cause that excites you the most. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): “Diplomacy is the art of saying ‘nice doggie’ until you can find a rock,” said humorist Will Rogers. I hope you’ve been taking care of the “nice doggie” part, Aquarius -- holding the adversarial forces and questionable influences at bay. As for the rock: I predict you will find it any minute now, perhaps even within an hour of reading this horoscope. Please keep in mind that you won’t necessarily have to throw the rock for it to serve its purpose. Merely brandishing it should be enough. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Do you know the word “cahoots”? Strictly speaking, it means to be in league with allies who have the same intentions as you do; to scheme and dream with confederates whose interests overlap with yours. Let’s expand that definition a little further and make it one of your central themes in the coming week. For your purposes, “cahoots” will signify the following: to conspire with like-minded companions as you cook up some healthy mischief or whip up an interesting commotion or instigate a benevolent ruckus.

Homework Homework: To check out my three-part audio forecasts of your destiny in 2013, go to http://tinyurl.com/BigPicture2013.

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