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WILLAMETTE WEEK

PORTLAND’S NEWSWEEKLY

“DUDE, AM I HIGH, OR ARE THE TABLES MOVING?” P. 14 wweek.com

VOL 39/16 02.20.2013

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CONTENT

DAL E P

HOT COP: Sgt. Brian O’Naughtington goes inside the oﬃcer-only bar on Southeast Alder Street. Page 38.

NEWS

MUSIC

LEAD STORY

PERFORMANCE 41

CULTURE

MOVIES

FOOD & DRINK

CLASSIFIEDS

STAFF Editor-in-Chief Mark Zusman EDITORIAL Managing Editor for News Brent Walth Arts & Culture Editor Martin Cizmar Staff Writers Andrea Damewood, Nigel Jaquiss, Aaron Mesh Copy Chief Rob Fernas Copy Editors Matt Buckingham, Peggy Capps Stage & Screen Editor Rebecca Jacobson Music Editor Matthew Singer Books Penelope Bass Classical Brett Campbell Dance Heather Wisner Theater Rebecca Jacobson Visual Arts Richard Speer Editorial Interns Erin Fenner, Matthew Kauffman, Michael Munkvold, Enid Spitz

MAIN STORE 706 SE MARTIN LUTHER KING JR. BLVD / 503.233.5973 / M-F 10-7 SAT 10-5 SUN 12-5 OUTLET STORE 534 SE BELMONT, 503.446.2205 / RIVERCITYBICYCLES.COM / OPEN EVERY DAY CONTRIBUTORS Emilee Booher, Ruth Brown, Nathan Carson, Jonathan Frochtzwajg, Robert Ham, Jay Horton, Reed Jackson, Emily Jensen, AP Kryza, John Locanthi, Michael Lopez, Jessica Pedrosa, Mark Stock, Brian Yaeger, Michael C. Zusman PRODUCTION Production Manager Ben Kubany Art Director Ben Mollica Graphic Designers Amy Martin, Brittany Moody, Dylan Serkin Production Interns V. Kapoor, Autumn Rose Northcraft ADVERTISING Director of Advertising Jane Smith Display Account Executives Maria Boyer, Michael Donhowe, Carly Hutchens, Ryan Kingrey, Janet Norman, Kyle Owens, Sharri Miller Regan Classifieds Account Executives Ashlee Horton, Corin Kuppler Advertising Assistant Ashley Grether Marketing & Events Manager Carrie Henderson Give!Guide Director Nick Johnson Production Assistant Brittany McKeever

Our mission: Provide our audiences with an independent and irreverent understanding of how their worlds work so they can make a difference. Though Willamette Week is free, please take just one copy. Anyone removing papers in bulk from our distribution points will be prosecuted, as they say, to the full extent of the law. Willamette Week is published weekly by City of Roses Newspaper Company 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Main line phone: (503) 243-2122 fax: (503) 243-1115 Classifieds phone: (503) 223-1500 fax: (503) 223-0388

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DISTRIBUTION Circulation Director Robert Lehrkind WWEEK.COM Web Production Brian Panganiban Web Editor Matthew Korfhage MUSICFESTNW Executive Director Trevor Solomon Associate Director Matt Manza OPERATIONS Accounting Manager Chris Petryszak Credit & Collections Shawn Wolf Office Manager Ginger Craft A/P Clerk Max Bauske Manager of Information Systems Brian Panganiban Publisher Richard H. Meeker

Willamette Week welcomes freelance submissions. Send material to either News Editor or Arts Editor. Manuscripts will be returned if you include a self-addressed, stamped envelope. To be considered for calendar listings, notice of events must be received in writing by noon Wednesday, two weeks before publication. Send to Calendar Editor. Photographs should be clearly labeled and will be returned if accompanied by a selfaddressed, stamped envelope. Questions concerning circulation or subscription inquiries should be directed to Robert Lehrkind at Willamette Week. Postmaster: Send all address changes to Willamette Week, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Subscription rates: One year $100, six months $50. Back issues $5 for walk-ins, $8 for mailed requests when available. Willamette Week is mailed at third-class rates. A.A.N. Association of ALTERNATIVE NEWSWEEKLIES This newspaper is published on recycled newsprint using soy-based ink.

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INBOX SPEAKING FOR CLARK CENTER

I would like to make a couple of points of clarification regarding Aaron Mesh’s article [“Fiscal Bluff,” WW, Feb. 13, 2013]. The first is that the residents at the Clark Center are not vagrants, which is a pejorative term for wayward beggars. The residents of the Clark Center are citizens of this city, which has a 7.5 percent unemployment rate and less than 4 percent rental-vacancy rate. They are the human cost of those statistics. Second, the Clark Center is a short-term residential program, not a shelter. This may seem like semantics, but it is essential in understanding the purpose of the Clark Center. Out of the 356 individuals who have come through our doors since July 2012, over half exited to stable and sustainable housing options. We do this through providing mental-health support, tenant-education classes, wellness groups and a lot of hard work. It would have been nice to see this in Mr. Mesh’s article, since our fate is being decided by “a coin flip.” Adam Lyons Clark Center manager

DAVID DOUGLAS FAN CLUB

I taught American history at David Douglas High School for eight years [“Miracle on 135th Avenue,” WW, Feb. 13, 2013]. Trust me, it was the highlight of my teaching career. Great kids, dedicated teachers and supportive parents. The school will always get an A rating from me. I wish someone would help the district with its shortfall next year. Schools as outstanding as David Douglas need continued financial help. —“Ray M. Smythe”

i keep asking my friends and family to keep an eye out for a dr. Know compilation book for sale somewhere. does one exist? You crack me up and keep me well-informed about the world every week. thanks! —Sutter W. Honestly, Sutter. The “Dr. Know” column has appeared in this newspaper—which we give away for free—every week for the past three and a half years. Just root through that huge pile of WW back issues in the bathroom and make with the scissors and glue stick. In no time, you’ll have your very own “Dr. Know” book—and it’ll be better than one from the bookstore, ’cause it was made with luv! OK, maybe not. The truth is, I get this question a lot. (Thanks, Mom!) Since I’ve done 180 columns without once pausing for shameless self-promotion, maybe it’s time to confront the unlikely hypothesis that someone might want 4

Willamette Week FEBRUARY 20, 2013 wweek.com

I have been mock-interviewing David Douglas High students in their career program for a few years now, a program required for graduation. Each time I finish spending 90 minutes with these kids blows me away. They are so engaged, eager to learn, and frankly give me hope for the next generation. Sure, there are a few kids slacking off now and again, but overall these students work hard. And they have great teachers and staff working with them. —“JennyG”

HOMER WILLIAMS: SURVIVOR

Having been involved with other people’s money peripherally, I find [Homer Williams’] survival instinct laudable [“Lien on Me,” WW, Feb. 13, 2013]. Even a die-hard liberal socialist like myself would have to say the Portland of today is better because of his endeavors. I am usually suspicious of so-called public/ private ventures, and while I miss the smell of Henry’s, I enjoy the walk in the alphabet streets of today’s Pearl. —“Old David”

TRIMET NEEDS LATER HOURS

It’s unfortunate TriMet won’t consider later service hours, at least on weekends [“Hotseat: Neil McFarlane,” WW, Feb. 13, 2013]. Public transit is the best weapon against drunk driving in a lot of other cities. —“John” LEttErs to thE Editor must include the author’s street address and phone number for verification. Letters must be 250 or fewer words. Submit to: 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Fax: (503) 243-1115, Email: mzusman@wweek.com

more of whatever this is. Activate the Pimp-Ray! Did you know I’m on the radio every week? I have a segment on 105.1 FM the Buzz’s Daria, Mitch and Ted Show on Fridays, in which I try to talk about science while the show’s hosts make fun of my small penis. It’s a hoot! This usually happens at 4:30 pm, but sometimes it gets moved. When that happens, though, the revised time is always on my blog—that I totally have! It’s at martysmith.com (suck it, other Marty Smiths). There’s a Facebook page, too (facebook.com/martysmithpdx). As for the book—well, would anyone out there want to read it? (Or, for that matter, publish it?) Such a volume would fall squarely in the “books for people who are currently taking a dump” category, but that’s OK by me—those people are my people. What do you think? Send your votes and/ or stool samples to dr.know@wweek.com. QuEstions? Send them to dr.know@wweek.com

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3025 SW Corbett Avenue, Portland, OR 97201 • 503.552.1551 Willamette Week FEBRUARY 20, 2013 wweek.com

TRANSPORTATION: The CRC: all trussed up and nowhere to go. 7 NEIGHBORHOODS: A filmmaker looks at how 82nd has changed. 11 COVER STORY: Endo Days: Legal marijuana is coming. 13

ROgER BONg

WE COULD CHARGE COUNTY OFFICIALS TO USE THE LOO.

shhh!: This is a taxing district.

When voters approved a new taxing district for the Multnomah County Library last fall, they also crunched the City of Portland’s budget. That’s because the new taxing district squeezed out $10 million the city could otherwise collect for its general fund under property-tax limits. Multnomah County Chairman Jeff Cogen and then-Mayor Sam Adams in November struck a deal to shift costs of the Sellwood Bridge rebuild off the city’s back. But a previously undisclosed letter from Cogen to Adams detailing the agreement shows the bargain contains no direct savings to the city’s general fund. Commissioner Nick Fish, for one, wants Cogen to chip in more money. “My hope is we can negotiate with the county to protect programs we both care about,” Fish says. Those could include county programs the city helps fund—such as three Schools Uniting Neighborhoods sites and $500,000 for senior centers—but face cuts in the city’s budget. Cogen says he’ll have further conversations, but not about the library deal. “The agreement we reached,” he says, “was the agreement.” Oregon has the fewest restrictions on abortion of any state, according to Remapping Debate, a Columbia University Journalism School public-policy project that compiled the rankings. While states such as Oklahoma have 22 laws making abortions difficult to obtain, Oregon has none. (Washington, California and Vermont were among those with the fewest restrictions.) The project also found states “enacted more restrictions on abortion in 2011 and 2012 than in any other years since Roe v. Wade was decided four decades ago.” Now comes news anti-abortion activist and former state lawmaker Marilyn Shannon has filed an initiative petition to ban publicly funded abortions except in life-threatening cases. Shannon wasn’t available for comment. In related news: Murmurs has been following Planned Parenthood Columbia Willamette’s search for a new CEO. We reported one leading candidate was Judy Peppler, former CEO of telecommunications company Qwest Oregon. The board halted that process after reports in WW that Peppler had backed conservative, anti-abortion candidates in 2008 and 2010—news that raised the ire of some Planned Parenthood backers. We also reported former state Rep. Mary Nolan (D-Portland) was a leading candidate for the job. But the new CEO is Stacy James, who held the same job with Planned Parenthood in Montana for 11 years. Cara Jacobsen, the local organization’s chairwoman, said James was picked in part because of her experience in expanding health services, including to transgender patients. Read more Murmurs and daily scuttlebutt. 6

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GOT A GOOD TIP? CALL 503.445.1542, OR EMAIL NEWSHOUND@WWEEK.COM

J o n at h a n h i l l

NEWS

MAKING IT UP AS THEY GO AS KITZHABER PUSHES THE CRC, THE PLAN TO PAY FOR IT IS BOTH FACT AND FANTASY. By NIG E L JAQ UI SS

njaquiss@wweek.com

The Columbia River Crossing project is on a fast track in Salem, sent racing toward approval by its biggest backer, Gov. John Kitzhaber. The governor—pushing a complex project with gaping financial holes—might someday wish things had gone at a more deliberate speed. On Feb. 18, a joint House-Senate panel voted 14-2 to send a bill authorizing $450 million for the CRC to both chambers of the Oregon Legislature. The $3.5 billion CRC promises to end congestion where Interstate 5 crosses the Columbia River. The project would also extend light rail to Vancouver and rebuild a series of highway offramps and exchanges, many of which would help the Port of Portland. The Oregon bill counts on Washington state matching it with its own $450 million, and the federal government would need to pony up $1.25 billion. The remainder—about $1.3 billion—would come from tolls, which commuters on the existing Interstate 5 Bridge could start paying as early as 2015. But in July 2011, State Treasurer Ted Wheeler destroyed the project’s financial underpinnings: that there would be enough traffic to meet estimated toll revenues. Since then, there’s been no new tolling information, yet a legislative committee, flying effectively blind, OK’d the bill.

The committee was carefully stacked. Of 16 members, most favored the bridge. Only two had been on record as harboring doubts. And four were freshman lawmakers put in the position of and saying aye, lest they cross the governor, Democratic leaders and major business and labor interests on their first big vote. And legislative leaders sent the bill out without the requisite stop at the Ways and Means Committee, where the expert staff might sniff out the financial challenges underlying it. Rep. Tobias Read (D-Beaverton), a co-sponsor of the CRC bill, says there are plenty of safeguards in the measure: quarterly reporting to lawmakers from the project and requirements that Washington state and the feds put up their money before Oregon sells bonds. “We’ve put in many triggers that must be met before we can go forward,” Read says. “It’s not as if we’ve approved the bill and ended our involvement in the project.” Here are the hard facts that remain—and questions no one seemed willing to ask—about what would be the biggest public works project in Oregon history.

CRC proponents have broken their promise to provide updated traffic and tolling numbers. The numbers have always been bad for the CRC: Traffic counts by proponents to justify the project have been way off for years. It’s traffic that translates to tolls, and it’s tolls that will pay off most of the project’s debt. As Wheeler showed, the numbers didn’t add up, and the CRC’s projections were off by $500 million to $600 million.

Since Wheeler’s report, the gap between the CRC’s traffic projections and the actual number of trips over the existing I-5 bridge has widened: Traffic is running 19,000 vehicles per day behind CRC estimates. In October, Kitzhaber’s people promised that the state would offer fresh tolling numbers by January. But legislators were never given the promised report. “It’s not done yet,” says CRC spokeswoman Mandy Putney, “but it’s expected in the next few weeks.” By that time—thanks to Kitzhaber and Democratic leaders—any bad news will come too late to change the bill. Kitzhaber spokesman Tim Raphael says his boss is not worried, given the bill requires an investment-grade financial analysis for the project to go forward. “The governor is comfortable with the safeguards in the bill,” Raphael says.

The bill’s $3.413 billion cap on the project’s total cost is meaningless. The sorry history of giant state construction projects has one recurring feature: Legislators are told a project has a maximum price—guaranteed. Within a few years, legislators are often forced to roll back the spending “caps” because of cost overruns, mismanagement and delays. Lawmakers go along, lest the money already sunk into a project be “wasted” by putting a stop to the madness. “It’s a sleight of hand,” says Gerald Fox, a retired transportation engineer who has testified against the CRC. “There’s no way to tell how much the project will actually cost.” It’s a history shared by megaprojects elsewhere. Boston’s Big Dig cost more than five times its original $2.8 billion budget and finished eight years late. And take the Oregon Department of Transportation’s cont. on page 8 Willamette Week FEBRUARY 20, 2013 wweek.com

NEWS

transportation

current fiasco: rebuilding a stretch of Highway 20 near Eddyville in the Coast Range with an initial $150 million budget. Seven years later, the project’s costs have soared to $366 million and it’s nowhere near done. The caps on that project popped off long ago. The CRC is vastly more complicated: two side-by-side freeway spans 3,600 feet long, a new light-rail line and five highway interchanges, involving one of the most environmentally sensitive rivers in the U.S., in a project that will last a minimum of seven years. Ex-Rep. Katie Eyre (R-Hillsboro), who lost her reelection bid last fall, remains a skeptic. Eyre—who lost business support because of her opposition to the CRC— says her former colleagues are delusional if they think the CRC bill offers protections against cost overruns. “Oregon taxpayers will be on the hook,” she says, “and they ought to be aware of that.”

ODOT is broke. That is, the very account from which this $450 million is supposed to come is already overcommitted. Here’s what Matt Garrett, Kitzhaber’s ODOT director, said in testimony before a legislative committee in November 2011. “Due to a variety of factors, ODOT is now facing significant long-term funding challenges,” Garrett said. “ODOT’s State Highway Fund resources are now essentially fully committed to debt service, the costs of running the agency, and maintaining highways, leaving virtually no state funding for new capital projects.” This is the same ODOT director who is now telling legislators they should finance $450 million for the CRC out of that same “fully committed” bank account. Over the past decade, legislators have greenlighted

Willamette Week FEBRUARY 20, 2013 wweek.com

nearly $3 billion in new ODOT borrowing to build new roads or fix aging bridges. The CRC bill would allow for even more borrowing while the fund to pay for it goes deeper in hock at a time when its two biggest sources of revenue—the state gas tax and federal funding—continually lag behind budget projections. Those highway projects already promised are spread all over the state. As Sen. Fred Girod (R-Stayton), one of two no votes against the CRC bill, put it, “By sucking up money from other projects, this puts rural Oregon in jeopardy.” There is, of course, one way to fix the problem: Legislators could raise taxes. But…

CRC proponents are hiding a big tax increase. Last fall, CRC proponents told lawmakers the most likely way to pay for Oregon’s $450 million contribution to the bridge was by raising gas taxes or vehicle-registration fees. That’s exactly what Kitzhaber and Democratic legislators had planned to do. In Feb. 11 remarks to the Legislature, Kitzhaber admitted his discomfort with shoving the necessary tax increase into the future. “I had hoped for a proposal that provided new revenue, but I’ve also said that’s a legislative decision,” he said. So lawmakers are willing to approve $450 million for the bridge without the tax hikes to pay for it. Such a vote is being put off—until at least 2015. “How to fund the Columbia River Crossing project is a policy decision that the Oregon Legislature and the Oregon Transportation Commission will make after this

biennium,” ODOT’s Garrett says. “We hope the decision will lead to new, dedicated revenues beyond 2015.”

Kitzhaber and Oregon lawmakers are betting on federal money that may not be available. The governor told legislators Feb. 13 that Oregon is in line for federal money needed to build the bridge. Raphael, the governor’s spokesman, says Kitzhaber is confident the feds will come through. “In every conversation the governor has had with Secretary of Transportation Ray LaHood, Secretary of Homeland Security Janet Napolitano and Federal Transit Administrator Peter Rogoff, they have emphasized the high level of federal support for the project and the importance of moving forward with Oregon’s financial commitment this year,” Raphael says. But the money CRC backers keep saying will appear has not. In a presentation to a Vancouver business group in January, CRC officials admitted $400 million they had counted on wasn’t included in a long-term federal transportation authorization. “Four hundred million dollars was anticipated from the Federal Highway Authorization funds as a project earmark,” CRC officials wrote in a Jan. 3 letter to a Vancouver business group. “However, the recent Surface Transportation Authorization bill does not include project earmark funds.” Joe Cortright, an economist and CRC critic, who also works as a consultant to Plaid Pantry stores, a company opposed to the project, says the federal money may never come. “They are doing anything they can to get the bonds sold,” Cortright says of state leaders. “Then there is no way back.”

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NEWS ivy lin

neighborhoods

street stories: “We were the little cluster of Chinese restaurants that were on southeast 82nd,” says Cindy Louis (above), whose grandfather opened the Canton Grill in 1944. “there are so many Chinese restaurants over here now.” Long Nguyen (below left) is manager of thanh son tofu, a Vietnamese grocery, where he makes fresh tofu daily. “During my first year of business here, i saw a lot of police cars, a lot of traffic and car dealers,” he says. “Now i see the street is getting better, but...every day if i don’t hear police sirens, 82nd is not 82nd.”

AVENUE OF THE ROSES A DOCUMENTARY FILMMAKER COLLECTS PORTRAITS OF CHANGE ALONG 82ND AVENUE. by i vy l i n

243-2122

I used to sneer at Chinatowns. I considered them tourist attractions that I wanted nothing to do with. I grew up in Taiwan with Chinese food and Chinese culture—what’s new to see in any city’s Chinatown? I’ve been living in the U.S. since 1989, and in Portland for the past decade. But it wasn’t until 2008, when I produced my first documentary, Pig Roast & Tank of Fish, that I began to explore Portland’s Chinatown and sensed a shift in myself from being a Chinese in America to a Chinese-American. At the time, I didn’t know our Chinatown had been the second largest in the country during the early 1900s. By 2008, many Chinese restaurants (including the legendary Hung Far Low) and businesses had either closed or moved. And there was already talk about a “new Chinatown” emerging along 82nd Avenue, becoming a popular destination for authentic Chinese food and a bountiful source of hard-to-find Asian grocery items.

sPiritUAL serViCe: Joseph Yeung, pastor at the Chinese Free Methodist Church of Portland, says the lunch of traditional foods served after sunday services have helped nonbelievers feel more engaged in the church. “We see this lunch service as a form of ministry,” he says.

Before my mother moved to Portland from Monterey Park (aka “Little Taipei”) in Los Angeles five years ago, my experience on 82nd was restricted to occasional visits to Fubonn (the largest Asian shopping center in Oregon) for my fix of I Mei coconut butter cookies, my supply of dumpling dipping sauce, as well as my semiannual invitations to the Chinatown Old-Timers Luncheon at Super King Buffet. But I began to experience 82nd more often when I accompanied my mom to the Chinese Free Methodist Church of Portland, located at Southeast 84th Avenue and Morrison Street. There is something very profound and heartwarming about pigging out on Chinese food with the congregation

right after church service. WW asked me to explore the changes along 82nd. I focused on the portion of the street between Northeast Glisan Street and Southeast Holgate Boulevard, a 2.5mile section that passes through the Montavilla, South Tabor, Foster-Powell and Powellhurst-Gilbert neighborhoods. It’s still a commercial corridor of strip malls, used-car lots and gas stations, but the area has become one of the most ethnically diverse in Oregon, with many Chinese, Vietnamese, Korean and Latino restaurants and businesses. One businessman told me 82nd is so diverse it’s not right to call it a “new Chinatown.” The result of my reporting is a 22-min-

ute documentary where I share a visit to my mother’s church; meet Cindy Louis, who (with degrees in oceanography and chemistry) now runs Canton Grill, a restaurant opened by her grandfather in 1944; and attend Slavic Church Emmanuel, located in the former Eastgate Theater, with a congregation of at least 600. I invite you watch the video at wweek. com/82nd. Ivy Lin is a documentary filmmaker whose work also includes Come Together Home, a film about the journey home of the remains of early Chinese immigrants from Portland’s Lone Fir Cemetery. See more of her work at ivylinstoryteller.com. Willamette Week FEBRUARY 20, 2013 wweek.com

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When she has to work sick, you may get more than your coffee. Not everyone gets the time they need to recover from an illness or care for sick family members – and it affects all of us. 40% of private-sector workers and 80% of low-income workers have no paid sick days from their jobs. Ask Portland City Council to ensure that all workers can earn paid sick time. It’s good for all of us. Learn more at www.everybodybenefitspdx.org

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ENDO DAYS HIT THE BLACK LIGHTS, WEED IS ALMOST LEGAL. FORGET EVERYTHING YOU KNOW ABOUT POT CULTURE. The highs, they are a-changin’. On Nov. 6, 2012, America’s relationship with marijuana entered a hazy new era. Two states, including Oregon’s northern neighbor, voted to legalize pot, signaling a tectonic shift in the national attitude toward the demon weed. Mary Jane, ganja, endo—whatever your preferred term happens to be, it’ll soon be no more controversial than beer, coffee or Taylor Swift. Reefer madness, it seems, is finally mellowing. We’re not quite there yet, though. Portland, in particular, is in pot purgatory. Just across the Columbia, the people of Washington have legalized marijuana use and are preparing to roll out our nation’s first system of state-sanctioned dispensaries open to everyone. This time next year, we in Portland will be 3,538 feet from legal, easily accessible weed. How will that affect us? It’s hard to say, exactly. But we know it will, and deeply. Time makes every countercultural

movement innocuous, and the culture of marijuana is not immune. Soon, The Chronic will seem quaint. Half Baked will be like the Little Rascals. Even the hellacious Mexican drug war will eventually get The Untouchables treatment. Generation Z will probably regard contemporary stoner culture the way we see speakeasies and bathtub gin. Everything you know about the culture surrounding weed is about to change. Rather than fumble through alternate futures, we wanted to catalog the culture that’s about to burn up in the blaze of a million bong fires. We documented the first 76 days of legal weed in Vancouver, Wash. (p. 15). We hung out with Ganja Jon, a medical-marijuana activist (and awardwinning hash-oil chef ) helping smooth the path toward NORMLization (p. 16). We constructed the ultimate stoner coffee table (p. 19), and asked local leaders what it will take to get our own dispensaries (p. 23). And we asked longtime WW contributor Rusty Feathercap to provide a snapshot of what it’s like to be high here now (p. 14). So, read, reminisce, dream. Then recycle this issue or stuff it deep in your closet, because it’s about to become obsolete. ENDO DAYS cont. on page 14 Willamette Week FEBRUARY 20, 2013 wweek.com

CONT.

jeffdrewpictures.com

ENDO DAYS

jambalaya wrapped in foil shaped like a giant Tommy gun. Not weird at all. Ride the Portland Aerial Tram... Best $57 million ever spent on a three-minute joyride in a pod. Remember, you’re inside a sperm headed for a giant egg. Play skee ball at Chuck E. Cheese’s... Your childhood was not preserved in amber—it is all kinds of fucked up and rearranged now, and you must accept this truth! Walk a dog at Kelley Point Park... A 100-acre park with a 200-acre new-car lot just through the trees. There may be no better place to contemplate the complex relationship between man and nature...after getting high as hell. See living, sucking history at the Stark’s Vacuum Cleaner Museum... It’s a vacuum cleaner museum. Fuuuuck. Visit Packy at the Oregon Zoo... Packy has lived at this zoo for 50 years. Packy pretty much just throws straw on himself all day. Is your life a little too much like Packy’s? Think about it. Take up knitting... It’s kind of like building a rainbow with magic wands. Eat that stupid doughnut burger at the Original... And hate yourself in the morning. Do happy hour at Sniff Dog Hotel... Sip a coffee and watch a bunch of dogs go insane in the next room. Wouldn’t it be weird if instead of shaking hands, we sniffed each other’s butts? Watch Portland Development Commission meetings on Cable Access... It’s kind of like a real-life SimCity.

YOU’RE NOT HIGH IN PORTAND UNTIL... 28 THINGS TO DO WHEN STONED IN STUMPTOWN. BY R U ST Y F EATH E R CAP 243-2122

Some people don’t need to smoke bowls to get through life. They just spring up in the morning and jump enthusiastically into the mundane business of the day. Others, like me, can’t cry at a movie or make it through a job interview without taking a few bong hits. But whether you are a weekend warrior or a “medical user” like me, every once in a while it’s nice to smoke until you forget your mother’s maiden name, then hop on a midnight train going anywhere. We have other suggestions, too. Lucky for you, this is a city with many attractions for the stoned-out-of-theirgourds set. Set your sights on adventure! Picnic at the Skidmore Bluffs... The quintessential Portland thing to do is ride a bike out to a little patch of grass, smoke weed and stare down at some factories. We are truly the center of the cultural universe. Worship at the Grotto... This 62-acre shrine near the airport is crazy enough when you’re straight. Be sure and take the glass elevator up to the meditation chapel—those sound like Beatles lyrics, but it’s all freaky real—and proceed to have your mind blown. 14

Willamette Week FEBRUARY 20, 2013 wweek.com

Play some disc golf... It takes deep focus to guide the floating wobbler to its next tree base. Move it with your mind. Take in the view at Portland City Grill... So you’re in this bar in the sky, and a dude is playing Elton John songs on the piano, and there are hawks flying around outside, and the kung pao calamari is the best thing in the world. Start a noise project... Maybe build some oscillators. Maybe repurpose a Speak & Spell. No musical talent necessary—embrace the chaos! Hit the strip club... And think way too hard about the dancers’ lives. Visit an open-mic night... The perfect antidote to thinking Portland is a town full of artists. Perform at an open-mic night... Nervous about performing that new noise composition you wrote while catatonically stoned? Nothing a little smoked courage can’t fix. Have post-midnight snacks at Montage... Where everyone is yelling and you get your leftover alligator

Blast off at Space Room... The fact that it’s kind of a half-assed, alien-themed dive bar—with a lot of run-down regulars—makes it all the more fascinating. Have enchiladas at Esparza’s... And freak out over all the creepy marionettes staring at you. They are everywhere! Spend three hours at Movie Madness... Trying to decide between Up in Smoke and Harold & Kumar. Eventually leave with Fried Green Tomatoes. Hang out in some of our city’s lovely hotel lobbies... And pretend you’re on vacation. The Benson’s lobby is particularly nice. Absorb the insanity of Rimsky-Korsakoffee House... Dude, am I high, or are the tables moving? Play Wii in the Clown Room... At the Funhouse Lounge. Also, they have chili dogs! Google Beau Breedlove... What’s that guy up to these days? Actually go to Voodoo Doughnut for once... Who are all these people? Where did they come from? Get a few high scores at Ground Kontrol... Get it? High scores! Get it? Jet boats... Jet boats! ENDO DAYS cont. on page 15

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CONT. “I’m aware of numerous people who are fielding questions to the city of Vancouver for getting business licenses for marijuana products. I know the state’s been bombarded with inquiries.” —Marcus Griffith “It’s a lot more open now. Vancouver is kind of a small town. Everybody talks, so you never know who’s listening and if they have an opinion on it, as far as hiring standards or whatever. But it’s a lot more out in the open now. There was one old guy who was talking about how great the pot is now, compared to the ’60s—different colors, different strains. He was impressed.” —Clerk at Bad Monkey Bikes, Board & Skate shop “There are people that jaywalk as officers drive by. And while that’s an infraction, the officer determines whether they’re going to turn around or whether they have other things they’re doing. I don’t know of any agency that’s out looking for people smoking marijuana in public, based on the plethora of other things that they could spend their attention on. We’re busy enough.” —Commander Dave King, Vancouver Police Department

AN ORAL HISTORY OF THE FIRST 76 DAYS OF LEGALIZED MARIJUANA IN VANCOUVER, WASH. “It’s not like the way you think. You’d think everyone would be out smoking and celebrating and having big parties in the street. It’s not like that at all.” —John, recreational marijuana user “I’ve heard about that kind of crazy stuff going on up in Seattle: people just going out smoking a joint to celebrate. King County is much more liberal than Clark County, though. They have that big festival up there and everything, people just smoking in the park.” —Mike Peterson, medical-marijuana patient

“There were a few instances of people smoking marijuana on the sidewalk or street corners on election night and a few days after. But the reality is, most people are pretty private with their marijuana use, so even the most loyal consumers of recreational marijuana were just going to smoke at home with friends.” —Marcus Griffith, journalist for The Vancouver Vector “The thing I see most is people not afraid to admit they toke. I’m realizing a lot more people smoke than I originally thought.” —Kody Baker, owner of Brewed coffee shop

“The bar I go into, the bartender says people come in and ask, ‘Hey, can I go light up in your patio smoking section?’ They’re like, ‘No, of course not!’ You can’t just sit down to your picnic in the park and then take a couple of hits.” —Mike Peterson “Everybody who came in stoned before are the same people coming in stoned now. I’m not smelling it any more than I did before. People are walking around the block more than they used to. We have this thing, a ‘We’ll Be Back’ business card. They’re getting used more.” —Barbara Webb, bartender at Shanahan’s Pub & Grill “As far as the verbiage goes, yeah, that’s all changed. It used to be someone used the word ‘bong’ and we said, ‘Hey, sir, it’s a water pipe, and don’t use that word again or I’m going to have to ask you to leave.’ I actually had to cancel a sale once because the guy didn’t get it. And that’s all over now. People can come in and call it a bong and say, ‘I’ve got some great bud at home and I wanna smoke it!’ And we can say, ‘Yeah, you want this water pipe right here!’” —Jeff Gauthier, clerk at Smokin’ Js

ENDO DAYS

“People are still growing a lot of ‘tomatoes.’ Our wholesalers are very strict in how we can talk to people, and it’s still a Schedule 1 drug federally. So if someone comes in and says, ‘I want to grow some pot,’ it’s like, ‘Sorry, dude, I can’t help you do that because federally it’s still illegal and we don’t know if there’s [a Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives] van down the street listening or whatever.’ And some people don’t understand that and get kind of pissy. But it’s still tomatoes until we see things change federally or we get word from the people we get supplies from.” —Trevor Scott, manager of Indoor Garden Supply “I think that an entrepreneur would probably be well-advised to open a music venue leaning toward pot smokers in Vancouver.” —Arthur Steinhorn, drummer, Garcia Birthday Band “On average, a gram of marijuana in Vancouver ranges between $8 to $12, with some fluctuation. Under the new taxes the state will charge, that’s going to rise up to anywhere between $15 to $30 a gram. We’re going to be telling people, as a state, ‘Hey, stop doing what you’ve been doing for $10 a gram, and now start doing it for $30 a gram.’ The black market that’ll emerge will be like the tobacco market, where it’s about avoiding taxes and fees rather than criminal charges.” —Marcus Griffith “There are just dozens and dozens and dozens of growers who’ve been growing for 20 and 30 and 40 years coming out for these 502 meetings to talk about what the rules should look like. These are guys who’ve never come out before publicly [and said] that they grow. This guy told me, ‘I’ve been hiding since 1966.’” —Philip Dawdy, spokesman for the Washington Cannabis Association Compiled by Matthew Singer, Enid Spitz, Matthew Korfhage and Martin Cizmar. ENDO DAYS cont. on page 16

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CONT. JERRY KRECICKI JR.

ENDO DAYS

OIL BARON HOW GANJA JON WENT FROM NONTOKER TO PORTLAND POT LEGEND. BY M AT T H E W S I N G E R msinger@wweek.com

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Marijuana saved Jon Hamm’s life. Sure, the kidney transplant helped. But if it weren’t for pot, the 27-year-old from Roseburg wouldn’t have had the will to make it to the hospital. Afflicted by a rare gene deficiency, which caused him to be born blind in his left eye and with an underdeveloped spine, Hamm—not to be confused with the Mad Men actor of the same name, though with his prolific beard, glasses and burly frame, that’s an unlikely mistake—already had one kidney fail as a teenager. Five years after the surgery, on the eve of his wedding, the replacement organ started to go. He and his wife, Nikki, skipped their honeymoon to move to Portland and begin his treatment. Just recalling the pain he was in walking to and from the dialysis clinic makes Hamm well up with tears. At some point in the 2½-year process, he had enough. He was going to self-medicate, and damn if anyone was going to demonize him for it. “I told myself, ‘I’m not going to let anybody make me feel bad for feeling good in my time of need,’” recalls Hamm from his home in Northeast Portland, dabbing his eyes with his shirt. One day before a dialysis session, he overpaid for a bag of low-grade shake, opened every window in his apartment and, using a makeshift pipe he fashioned from metal straws, got high for the first time. “And I felt great,” he says. Since then, Hamm has branded himself something of a mascot for Portland’s pot culture. He straddles the line between serious advocate and, well, what you’d expect of a guy who now goes by the name Ganja Jon. His voice rises with anger when discussing the ongoing prohibition of what he sees as vital medicine, but he’s not above gig-

“JUST HAVING GOOD POT GETS PEOPLE TO TALK ABOUT YOU ON CONAN.” gling about the time his buddy came over and got so blitzed he threw up in every pair of shoes in the house. For three years, Hamm hosted The Ganja Jon Show, a podcast on the NORML Radio Network, where he advocated, with equal parts humor and vehemence, for the rights of medical-marijuana patients. His logo—what looks like a bearded Lego Man wearing a patch emblazoned with a pot leaf over the nonfunctioning eye he had removed at age 25—adorns T-shirts. A lifelong comedy fan, Hamm is a fixture backstage at Helium Comedy Club in Southeast Portland, and a legend among touring comics. Google his pseudonym, and the first result is a clip from an episode of Conan, in which comedian Brian Posehn recalls when Hamm got him especially stoned and then, without warning, yanked out his glass eye. (Hamm says the story is “90 percent true.”) But Hamm is more than just a symbolic figure: His recipe for hash oil, a form of highly concentrated cannabis, has won awards at the High Times Medical Cannabis Cup in Seattle and the Kush Expo in Los Angeles. Marijuana didn’t just save Hamm’s life. After that first toke, it became his life.

HANGING WITH SNOOP: Ganja Jon at the High Times Medical Cannabis Cup in Los Angeles.

“It completely devastated my brain,” he says. “Even now, it’s all I really think about.” Coming from a conservative family, Hamm tiptoed into his new life as a stoner renaissance man. Initially, he thought smoking pot was something he had to hide, even from Nikki, a nontoker. The secret didn’t last long. “I didn’t think it was that big of a deal,” she says. “Anything for him to be out of that pain.” Today, marijuana is just another aspect of the couple’s domestic bliss. Hamm spends most days at home—where he lives with his younger brother, his brother’s fiancee, a pug named Milo and a Boston terrier named Brutus—making hash oil for dispensaries and fellow patients. His workstation is a wooden tabletop in his living room, which he keeps crowded with clear-glass smoking apparatuses referred to as “oil rigs.” Hamm started learning how to make the oil shortly after being prescribed a medical-marijuana card, when he was told inhaling smoke from actual buds put his weakened immune system at risk of infection from mold. At the time, “no one really knew what they were doing,” Hamm says. He describes the hash oil in circulation just three years ago as “black goop” often tainted by residual traces of the butane used to extract the oil, which would sometimes cause users’ lungs to spasm. Speaking to professionals at promarijuana gatherings, Hamm adopted a vacuum system to clear out the leftover solvents, leaving a hardened amber liquid the color of maple syrup. Done right, it’s “really, really effective medicine,” Hamm says. Used recreationally, it can be too potent for a newbie to handle: He once inadvertently sabotaged a comic’s set at Seattle’s Bumbershoot festival by giving him a hit of oil. “He was slapping the floor, speaking gibberish,” Hamm says. “He lost his mind.” Regardless, the myth of Ganja Jon has spread beyond the Pacific Northwest—to the point that comics have pitched cartoon shows based on him to national networks. He didn’t plan on becoming a cult figure, but then, that’s the power of marijuana. “It’s surreal,” Hamm says, “just having good pot, and knowing what you’re talking about, gets people to talk about you on Conan, I guess.” ENDO DAYS cont. on page 19

Willamette Week FEBRUARY 20, 2013 wweek.com

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ENDO DAYS

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CONT.

5 4 8

THE ULTIMATE STONER COFFEE TABLE A CONSUMER’S GUIDE TO KEEPING YOUR HIGH—AND EVERYTHING THAT GOES WITH IT—LOCAL. BY M AT TH EW S I N G E R msinger@wweek.com

1. OIL RIG Available at: Mellow Mood, 4119 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 235-7473, mellowmood.com ($1,700) Hash oil is the new chronic—it’s basically THC concentrate—and oil rigs are the new bongs. At $1,700, this piece, blown by local glass artist Blue, is meant for special occasions only, such as the birth of a firstborn child or whenever Wayne’s World is on cable.

2. GOLF DISCS Available at: urbagedesigns.com ($18) No better way to spend a stony Saturday than getting your frolf on with these discs from Portland hemp-lifestyle retailer Urb-Age Designs. Except for maybe taking a four-hour nap. 3. FOOTBAGS Available at: fourkast.com ($5.99-$35) Hack it up with these bags from Portland company Fourkast. Are the beans inside smokable? Only one way to find out! 4. MASALA POPCORN Available at: Multiple locations, eatmasalapop.com ($3.85) Healthy munchies are the way to go. That way, you can eat yourself into a stupor and not feel guilty about it when you wake up.

5. TOWNSHEND’S BREW DR. KOMBUCHA Available at: Multiple locations, brewdrkombucha.com ($10 for growler, $6 refill) Nectar of the gods (and trustafarians), brewed right in our backyard. 6. MATCHES Available at: Presents of Mind, 3633 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 230-7740, presentsofmind.tv. ($6) They’re like tiny lighters, man! 7. BIG DUB & J. MACK, HEAVILY MEDICATED Available at: itunes.com, cdbaby.com/cd/bigdubjmack The owners of Mack & Dub’s Excellent Chicken and Waffles drop heady rhymes about the kind panacea. The follow-up, Still Medicated, is coming in April!

8. VINTAGE WESTERN GRAPHICS BLACK LIGHT POSTER Available at: ebay.com (prices vary) In the 1960s and ’70s, the now-defunct Western Graphics Corp. in Eugene was the master of mind-blowing poster art. Who needs video games when you can just stare at this thing for hours? 9. INCENSE Available at: Incense Magic, 120 SW Ankeny St., 225-9790 ($3.95 for the holder, 10 cents per stick) Mom making a surprise stopover? Cover up that skunk stank with the smell of Sweet Pussy (seriously, that’s the store’s top-seller). She’ll never know, dude! ENDO DAYS cont. on page 21

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TALES FROM THE WEED VAULT INSIDE THE CITY’S BIGGEST POT STASH: THE PORTLAND POLICE BUREAU’S EVIDENCE WAREHOUSE. BY M I TC H LI LLI E 243-2122

The best pot stash in town is stored deep in the tangled concrete jungle of the Northwest Industrial District. One problem, though: Its keepers are bogarting the good stuff. The Portland Police Evidence Warehouse, at 2619 Northwest Industrial Street, is where your precious weed and beloved bong Big Thunder go to live when the cops kidnap them. Even being a medical-marijuana card holder won’t get your green back—former Attorney General John “Reedie Stomper” Kroger issued a memo saying federal law allows the local 5-0 to hang on to your stuff, even when your glaucoma is flaring up and you’re in terrible pain. Bummer. WW scheduled visiting hours with the headiest, dankest and greenest items in the evidence warehouse. They’ll remain here until trial, after which they’ll be destroyed “as soon as possible.” 1. SUBMACHINE GUN PIPE Getting high is one thing, but putting the business end of a machine-gun-shaped pipe in your mouth is something else. According to police, that’s what a suspect identified

as “Shorty” was doing when officers Schroeder and Lance strolled up on him and his friends hanging out on the sidewalk near Southeast Pine Street and 11th Avenue one Saturday night. He put the gun down, but the clink of glass on concrete set the officers’ ears on edge. “Please don’t take my weed!” Shorty reportedly begged. His whole stash was eventually confiscated, including a bag with just eight buds and a small container of “shake marijuana.” As police gathered the evidence, according to the report, the gun was still smoking. 2. LIGHTS AND BALLASTS Grow rooms require a lot of gear. And when they get busted, the cops get that gear. “We have hundreds of these lights and ballasts, and they’re all worth a couple hundred bucks each,” says Dave Benson (pictured), manager of the Portland Police Bureau’s evidence stash. On Craigslist, the cops could turn a tidy little profit with these rigs. But putting them at a public auction would probably lead to continued use by marijuana growers. So, instead, the cops allow the state to buy them. “These sales aren’t advertised widely, only to government agencies with a legitimate use—an elementary school for example,” says Benson, adding the schools are “well aware that they come from illicit sources.” To date, only 10 lights, three ballasts and two fans have been sold for a total of $250. What to do now? “Maybe we can sell them to Washington,” Benson says.

3. WEED VAULT In the back corner of the evidence warehouse is the highly guarded treasure room of this palace, lined top to bottom with green gold. Cops call it “the weed vault.” Two members of the staff must simultaneously tag their IDs in order for the doors to open, and as a rule there must always be a 1-to-1 ratio of police to visitors. The vault contains “thousands of plants and thousands of pounds of marijuana,” Benson says. Rows of plants hang upside down in burlap sacks, just as in a meat locker. Fans circulate the air, just like they would in a grow operation, because the mold is deadly. A 15-foot-high wall—located directly opposite a crate of handguns—is stacked with large vacuum-sealed bags of dried weed, which are torched by a Salem incinerator three times a year. “We burn it as often as we can,” Benson says. “It just doesn’t stop.” 4. ADORABLE FROG BONG This bong, featuring a small tree frog clinging to the bowl, was the most aesthetically pleasing we found. Its alleged former owner, though, is a juvenile, so the police report cannot be released. A tipster told us the bong was probably the work of Eugene’s highly respected Special K Creations, whose bosses were not available for comment. A sharp-eyed employee at House of Pipes on Northeast Broadway says it’s probably a knockoff. “It would have to have a special engraving around the top,” says a tobacco-pipe salesman. “It looks like a Chinese imitation to me.” ENDO DAYS cont. on page 23

Willamette Week FEBRUARY 20, 2013 wweek.com

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ENDO DAYS

KIKI WINTERS

CONT.

PUFF, PUFF WHAT WILL IT TAKE FOR OREGON TO FINALLY PASS LEGAL MARIJUANA? “One reason Measure 80 didn’t pass in Oregon is that the big boys back East who put money into campaigns—Peter Lewis and George Soros—the organizations they help fund aren’t particularly fond of Paul Stanford [who backed Oregon’s last marijuana-legalization measure]. Those guys didn’t put money into Measure 80 because they don’t like Paul Stanford. That’s really unfortunate. I like Paul. If they had the million dollars, it would have passed. It only lost by 3 percent.” —Philip Dawdy, spokesman for the Washington Cannabis Association and former WW reporter “The people who are most active at the national level are quite persuasive in making the argument that it’s better in 2016, and it’s better if people really have a chance to put together a proposal that reflects what Oregon wants and needs. If we have a second unsuccessful proposal, that’s going to muddy the waters and set it back. If instead, we really do it right in Oregon, and it’s timed with California, I think it’s an absolute game-changer. Not just a game-changer—it’s almost game over.” —Rep. Earl Blumenauer (D-Ore.) “We’re going forward for 2014. [Pro-pot billionaire] Peter Lewis’ associates are at the table with us. We’re conducting polling for six different ballot models. We’d make the cannabis commission governor-appointed. We’ll set a limit on personal and private possession, just as we do people who brew alcohol and things like that.” —Paul Stanford, author of 2012’s failed Measure 80 “It turns out that when it comes to proposals to either decriminalize or legalize marijuana, the details matter. And there were some pretty substantial differences in the actual details of the measures seen in Colorado and Washington. Voters do check details.” —Mark Wiener, political strategist “We’ve been doing this since 1934, and if you look historically, I imagine a lot of the same questions came up back then. In fact, we have a document called the Knox Act. That was a study the governor at the time commissioned to figure out, if we legalize alcohol in Oregon, what form would it take? You could probably do a comparison about what people were thinking in the 1930s about legalizing alcohol, and compare that to what people might be thinking about legalizing marijuana.” —Christie Scott, spokeswoman, Oregon Liquor Control Commission “Oregonians are, by and large, ready to legalize marijuana, so long as it is done in a thoughtful and responsible manner. But when you suggest legalizing as much marijuana as you like anywhere you like for any reason you like, when you suggest completely unregulated hemp while defining all seeds and starts as hemp, when you suggest the government oversight of marijuana ought to be chosen from the overseen, as legalizers did in 2012, you snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.” —“Radical” Russ Belville, host of 420radio.org’s The Russ Belville Show Willamette Week FEBRUARY 20, 2013 wweek.com

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DJs, IPAs, and AMFs in the front room. Chill space in the back.

Tuesday, February 26 • 9pm SIN Tuesdays

Drink specials from 9 to midnight for OLCC card carriers, cabbies, Tri-Met workers, and shirtless firefighters. 21+

Within Spitting Distance of The Pearl

1033 NW 16th Ave. 971.229.1455 Everyday Noon - 2:30am Happy Hour Mon - Fri noon-7pm • Sat - Sun 3-7pm Pop-A-Shot • Pinball Skee-ball • Air Hockey • Free Wi-Fi

PORTLAND EXPO CENTER Get your vintage on! 1,000 booths of cool retro stuff and fine antiques decor

vintage Clothing kitchenware

toys 1800-1970 estate jewelry

pop culture

pez

oddities

toy trains

old prints

art

costume jewelry watches

fun stuff

Bring your family treasures for verbal evaluation by our experts. $5 per object with all proceeds to the Portland Police Sunshine Division

SAT. MAR. 2 9 TO 6 SAT, MAR. 3 10-5 Adult admission on Sat & Sun $7.00 Parking: Expo $8 or $5 at Portland Meadows Horse Track Early Admission during set-up - Friday, Oct. 26 $30 (10am-6pm)

www.palmerwirfs.com 503-282-0877 26

Willamette Week FEBRUARY 20, 2013 wweek.com

CARTOONS AND COFFEE: Portland, put on your tails: We’ve got three representatives headed to the Oscars this Sunday, Feb. 24. First up, ParaNorman, the second feature produced by Hillsboro film studio Laika, is nominated for best animated film. Laika—owned by Nike honcho Phil Knight and run by his son Travis—also earned an Oscar nomination in 2010 for Coraline. Meanwhile, Portland Roasting Coffee will be keeping the stars caffeinated: Two of the roaster’s blends will be served backstage. Also representing Oregon is local tyke Maggie Simpson, who is up for her own golden boy, thanks to the animated short “The Longest Daycare.” The film finds the Springfield, Ore., perpetual infant attending the terrifying Ayn Rand School for Tots. OPEN AND SHUT: The much-anticipated Relish Gastropub opened its doors last week in the space of former Sellwood music venue the Woods (6637 SE Milwaukie Ave., 208-3442). The opening menu at the massive space, helmed by former Noisette sous chef Josef Valoff, appears to be Northwest modern, with pinot noir Brussels sprouts, pork-belly burgers and fennel-spiced sturgeon. >> Meanwhile, the once-raucous night spot The Refectory on Portland’s far east side (1618 NE 122nd Ave.) has closed after 30 years, ceding its space to a dollar store.

PA R A N O R M A N .CO M

GRIMM IN INK: Like Buﬀy and Serenity before it, Portlandbased wizard-cop show Grimm is set to become a series of spinoﬀ comic books. Show co-creators David Greenwalt and Jim Kouf wrote a storyline for comic-maker Dynamite Entertainment, which will publish the books beginning in May. The story? The mother of lead Nick Burkhardt, a Portland homicide detective, “begins her quest to destroy the Coins of Zakynthos.” An inquiry about whether the series will be considered canon was not immediately answered.

Antique & Collectible Shows

furniture

NICOLE CAMBERG (CAPTUREDBYPORCHES.COM)

Sunday, February 24 • 7pm The Church of RnR Celebrates Slabby’s First Year

CAPTURED BY BUREAUCRATS: Earlier this month, Captured by Porches Brewing Co. suspended operations at all of its Portland locations because of licensing issues with the City of Portland regarding the company’s outdoor foodcart beer gardens. The carts had previously been open at the now-closed D-Street Noshery pod across from Pok Pok, at the Kruger’s Farm stand in St. Johns, and at Northeast Alberta Street and 23rd Avenue. This week, the Oregon Liquor Control Commission received liquor-license applications from Captured by Porches for its Concordia (2231 NE Alberta St.) and St. Johns (7316 N Lombard St.) locations. In the meantime, the company has beer available in swingtop bottles at local shops and on tap at the Black Bike Cafe (22 SE 28th Ave.). The Sauvie Island beer bus, which is located outside Portland city limits, will be opening as scheduled on Memorial Day.

HEADOUT W W s tA F F

WILLAMETTE WEEK

What to do this Week in arts & culture

FRIDAY FEB. 22 comic con [comics] Wizard World features appearances by Henry Winkler (Little Nicky), Lou Ferrigno (Chuck, Reno 911!), Dean cain (Bailey’s Billion$), morena Baccarin (The O.C.), Brent spiner (Introducing Dorothy Dandridge), Jason David Frank (Sweet Valley High), James Hong (Wayne’s World 2) and oregon’s own Bruce campbell (The Adventures of Brisco County Jr.). Oregon Convention Center, 777 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd. 3-8 pm Friday, 10 am-7 pm Saturday, 10 am-5pm Sunday, Feb. 22-24. Tickets and information at wizardworld.com.

SATURDAY FEB. 23 bong hit bingo [pot] Bingo, the classic game of luck and listening, played within easy reach of helpful medical resources. National Green Friends, 7958 SE Foster Road, 777-2355. 3-5 pm. $5 for members, $10 for nonmembers. Entry includes blotter and three cards. Extra cards are $1 each. nationalgreenfriends.com. OMMP card required.

Top Trotters Scouting Reports for Five Honorary Harlem Globetrotters. What’s harder than beating the Harlem Globetrotters? Becoming an honorary Harlem Globetrotter. In the organization’s 86-year history, only eight nonplayers have been named to the team, and only one—Kareem AbdulJabbar—has documented basketball skills. Considering how stingy the franchise is with these honors, though, it’s difficult to imagine they’d recruit anyone without knowing they could get on the court at a moment’s notice. The team, in town to beat up on five local yokels, must’ve known something the rest of us didn’t…until now. Here, we present the secret history of the Globetrotters’ honorary starting five. MATTHEW SINGER.

WHOOPI GOLDBERG

POPE JOHN PAUL II

BOB HOPE

HENRY KISSINGER

NELSON MANDELA

nicknaMe: the Big Whoop. siGnature MoVe: the color purple Nurple, a defensive technique outlawed the same year as hand-checking, sack-tapping and atomic wedging. notaBle stat: Led the Globetrotters in sass and telling it Like it is for four straight seasons. Fun Fact: Also served as head coach of the New York Knicks for one highlarious season until being forced into retirement due to a bout of acute patrick swayze possession.

nicknaMe: His Divine sweetness, aka the pontiff of the parquet, aka Johnny Big Hat. siGnature MoVe: the Holy trinity, an offbalance three-point shot so miraculous it’d make team mascot Globie cry tears of blood. notaBle stat: Averaged 24 points, 10 absolutions, six Hail marys and four de-pantsings for his career. Fun Fact: After his hat registered 23 blocks per game in a single season, the Globetrotters banned all comically oversize headwear from being worn on the court, prematurely ending the career of Archibald “stovepipe” Jackson.

nicknaMe: Admiral Laughenstein. siGnature MoVe: undercutting an opposing player in midair, followed by a rimshot from a sideline drummer. notaBle stat: Holds the Globetrotters’ alltime record for number of referees bludgeoned to death by a golf club. Fun Fact: took more charges than his credit card after his wife found out he hadn’t stop seeing that trollop Barbara payton. Heyooooooo!

nicknaMe: Giggles. siGnature MoVe: the carpet Bomb, a thunderous two-handed dunk in which he would tear down the hoop, shatter the backboard and maim innocent women and children sitting courtside, only to realize the ball had bounced off the rim, thus accomplishing nothing. notaBle stat: Arranged the assassinations of eight Washington Generals, second most in Globetrotters history, behind meadowlark Lemon. Fun Fact: once had a game of H-o-R-s-E against the president of uruguay overthrown by a military junta.

nicknaMe: World B. morgan Freeman. siGnature MoVe: the mandela shake, a series of fakes, spins and jab-steps bewildering enough to end apartheid, alleviate poverty, raise AiDs awareness and score an easy layup. notaBle stat: the 6-foot-4 mandela leads the Globetrotters in ejections, flagrant fouls and biting. Fun Fact: Known for storming into bars after games and proclaiming, “Who wants to sex mandela?!”

(POINT GUARD)

(SHOOTING GUARD)

(SMALL FORWARD)

(POWER FORWARD)

(CENTER)

galactic featuring corey glover of living colour [music] An eclectic New orleans funk band and an African-American rock legend walk into Jazz Fest. What happens? A massive fucking party, of course. Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside St., 225-0047. 9:30 pm. $25 advance, $28 day of show. All ages.

SUNDAY FEB. 24 mosh pit night at the oscars [moViEs] think you can write a better acceptance speech than Daniel Day-Lewis? make yourself fancy and come prepared to deliver it—and to be forcibly yanked off the stage if you exceed the time limit. Bob White Theatre, 6423 SE Foster Road, 894-8672. 3 pm. $8-$12.

MONDAY FEB. 25 r. stevie moore [music] No offense, Ariel pink, but R. stevie moore has been the king of depressive, four-track bedroom recordings for 10 years longer than you’ve been alive. Given that he only started touring seriously in 2011, this show is a singular opportunity to see the rougher-hewn side of pop come out of hiding. Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison St., 239-7639. 8:30 pm. $10 advance, $12 day of show. 21+.

TUESDAY FEB. 26 a brief history of booZe in portlanD [HistoRY] portland was a boozy city long before the bearded hoards began guzzling their double ipAs and pBR tall boys. Joe streckert tells stories of prohibition, blue laws and drunken vagabonds. The Jack London Bar, 529 SW 4th Ave., 227-5327. 7:30 pm. Free. 21+.

see it: the Harlem Globetrotters will play at the Rose Garden Arena, 1 center court, on saturday, Feb. 23. 2 and 7 pm. $15-$121. Willamette Week FEBRUARY 20, 2013 wweek.com

FOOD & DRINK DEVOUR LEAHNASH.COM

= WW Pick. Highly recommended. By ENID SPITZ. PRICES: $: Most entrees under $10. $$: $10-$20. $$$: $20-$30. $$$$: Above $30. Editor: MARTIN CIZMAR. Email: dish@wweek. com. See page 3 for submission instructions.

THURSDAY, FEB. 21 Soup for the Soul

A soup and dessert fundraiser featuring chefs from local restaurants including Paragon and Mother’s Bistro & Bar. If the soup doesn’t warm your soul, the charity might. Live music, silent auction and chef hobnobbery to benefit Transition Projects. Urban Studio, 935 NW Davis St. 6-8:30 pm. $75.

FRIDAY, FEB. 22 Black Out Beer Fest

Jobs for the Food and Drink Industry Staffing solutions for owners and managers

Pacific Pie Co. hosts a tasting of Eastside Distilling spirits to pair with Aussie-style savory pies. If anything is better than local pie, it’s local pie and a stiff drink. Pacific Pie Company, 1520 SE 7th Ave., 381-6157. 5-9 pm. Contact venue for information. 21+.

SATURDAY, FEB. 23

EAT: Bar Dobre, 3962 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 477-5266, bardobre.com. 5-11 pm Monday-Thursday, 5 pm-midnight Friday-Saturday. $.

Martini and a Makeover

Spirited Pies

Untitled-2 1

6/10/12 9:41 AM

BAR DOBRE I fear saying good things about a still-obscure Polish spot like Bar Dobre. The last time WW brought attention to one (Grandpa’s Cafe), it made itself membership-only. Well, fingers crossed: The pierogi ($6) at Bar Dobre are perfectly serviceable, but this new Italian-Polish locale also sports quite simply the best kielbasa plate I’ve had Order this: Kielbasa this side of Chicago. The $12 plate will plate and pierogi to split serve as anchoring paperweight for between two, paired with a Boleslaw (vodka of choice, two, and includes spicy house-stuffed ice, cucumber, lemon). sausage, seared kale ensconced in I’ll pass: Polish beers. The plentiful bacon, an airy potato panentire country never quite figured out how to brew. cake and warmly brined sauerkraut. The 12-inch pizzas ($12)—apparently a hand-me-down from the Italian side of the chef-owner’s family—feature sauces simple and fresh as a breeze, but after a hearty pie with kielbasa, greens and egg, you’ll be loath to move from your seat. Luckily, the bar is a cozy place to slowly digest—whether Polish, pizza or a lovely roasted-beet salad ($7)—and rich in apéritifs, with a drink menu that takes its vodka extraordinarily seriously. With its deep-toned wood panels, framed mirrors and cast-iron chandelier, the bar’s dim space is the front room of your alcoholic grandma’s house. And she’s serving unfiltered Belvedere vodka, vodka-champagne cocktails ($9) and whiskey with Krupnik honey liqueur that’s like a toddy without the tea ($9). MATTHEW KORFHAGE.

Indulge your dark side with the richest dozen from Lompoc and guest brewers including Breakside Brewery, Columbia River and the Green Dragon. Lompoc reveals its Cherry Stout after 16 months, 45 pounds of sour cherries and a lot of merlot barrels. Multi-instrumentalist Marty Marquis plays at 7. Get ready to black out. 5th Quadrant, 3901-B N Williams Ave., 288-3996. 4-11 pm. Free. 21+.

Giving gals an excuse to sip and sample, retailers like Sephora, Chloe & Isabel and Nike join Henry’s Tavern to benefit Raphael House, a domestic-violence agency. Giveaways and attendance are free, but RSVP required (email kangheld@r-u-i.com). Henry’s Tavern, 10 NW 12th Ave., 227-5320. 7-10 pm. Free. 21+.

NYC/ CHI/ SFO/ SEA /PDX/ AUS

POlE POsITIOn: sauerkraut, kielbasa, kale and potato pancakes.

7th Annual Chowder Challenge

The coveted Chowder Cup is up for grabs. Four-year champion the New Old Lompoc’s rebuilding project ensures a new winner. Local breweries and restaurants duke it out via blind tasting. Don’t let live music and a raffle fool you, this is serious stuff. 5th Quadrant, 3901-B N Williams Ave., 288-3996. Noon-4 pm. $10.

SUNDAY, FEB. 24 Smith Tea Seminar

Tea-maker Steven Smith discusses the nuances of tea creation. Get your oolongs and Ceylons straight while sampling a range of blends. A tasting of Penner-Ash wines follows. For those not on a liquid diet, simple food pairings included. Penner-Ash Wine Cellars, 15771 NW Ribbon Ridge Road, Newberg, 554-5545. 2 pm. $20.

Willamette Week FEBRUARY 20, 2013 wweek.com

DRANK

LEAFER MADNESS (BEER VALLEY BREWING) Beer Valley Brewing’s pot pun isn’t so ridiculous. The hop flowers used to embitter beer are cousins to cannabis, and the two Cannabaceae have plenty in common when they’re fresh and sticky. The beer itself, on the other hand, is an exercise in absurdity. Born during the so-called hop shortage of 2008, this monster imperial India pale ale weighs in at 9 percent alcohol and more than 100 international bitterness units. The threshold for tasteable bitterness is hotly debated, but many claim the human tongue can only taste up to 80 IBUs. Even if you can taste the extra 20, Leafer Madness, available at grocery stores like New Seasons, is overkill. The Eastern Oregon brewery overused the most expensive ingredient in beer in a time of shortage just for giggles. The resulting brew is sappy green and resinous, with little flavor beyond biting bitterness from a grab bag of what tastes like whatever assorted hop shake was lying around the brewhouse. Hard-up hopheads will hit this, but I want better nugs. MARTIN CIZMAR.

ENDo DaYS

FOOD & DRINK JEFFDREWPICTuRES.COM

POT MEET KETTLE CANNABIS IS BETTER FOR SMOKING THAN EATING. BY E N I D SP I TZ

espitz@wweek.com

Toasted, rolled, burnt and baked—can one exist solely off cannabis? Hemp advocates trumpet the many great qualities of this “wonder crop,” which has been cultivated since the dawn of civilization, grows faster than all other agricultural crops and requires barely any pesticide. But could civilization exist on hemp alone? And what would life in this stoner utopia be like? Whoa—these are some serious questions. Because our nation’s regular guinea pigs—U.S. military personnel— are banned from ingesting any hemp products, we enlisted ourselves to test the threshold of hempiness. We assembled a smorgasbord: hemp cereal for midafternoon breakfast, three types of hemp granola bars for days when you’re light, and hemp seeds to sprinkle like fairy dust on pizza, burritos or pizza burritos. What we discovered: Hemp may be the ultimate cure for the munchies. With a few exceptions, hemp foods are a very, very bad use of the cannabis plant. After most of these snacks, you won’t feel like eating anything.

THE CHRONIC SortaSausage hemp burger

Despite the questionable name, these patties are surprisingly delightful. Gardenburger beware: SortaSausage patties give other meat substitutes fierce competition, with a savory, smoky flavor. Label wisdom: “Growing up I never imagined I’d one day be a vegetarian… one of many surprises!” Hempiness: A one-hitter, as they’re more polenta than hemp. Tasters said: “I would definitely eat this over a Gardenburger” “This is definitely liberally spiced. It has a little bite.” “Like a falafel patty.”

Whole Foods bulk hemp granola

Bud in bulk-food bins? These grassgreen crumbles look like weed. They’re also delicious—hints of sweet date and a satisfying crunch made them a surprise favorite. Label wisdom: None, it’s sold in unmarked plastic bags. Hempiness: Double rainbow! Tasters said: “Is there date in here? I can taste it...kinda nice. Medjool dates.” “It looks like kitty litter, but it’s actually good.” “This looks like dried weed. I want to fly with this just to fuck with the TSA.”

Sequel Naturals Vega whole food energy bar

Vega bars are made from “exclusively raw, alkaline, plant-based superfoods” to boost triathlete performance. It’s endorsed by cyclists, who know their dope. It looks like Pemmican, but has a wonderful fruity sweetness. Label wisdom: “One should not have to compromise between whole food goodness and fast food convenience.” Hempiness: Baked, as hemp is second only to dates. Tasters said: “Most energy bars are sincerely gross; this one is much less gross.” “In part we like it because of its calories: 240 total, 90 from fat.” “It’s from B.C., that’s why. Canadians, man, they get it.”

PRETTY DANK Nature’s Path Organic hemp plus waffles Our tasting’s most mind-blowing epiphany has nothing to do with hemp. Waffles dipped in hummus are awesome. Our cart will be open by spring. But not with hemp waffles, which are sorta meh. Label wisdom: “Never synthetic preservatives or additives. Because, really,

who wants any of that for breakfast?” Hempiness: Harshing our mellow, as they’re mostly just wheat waffles with grape juice. Tasters said: “It is the taste of bland.” “The waffles taste like waffles. Like whole-wheat waffles.” “Hummus and waffles belong together!”

Living Harvest Tempt vanilla hempmilk You can drink hempmilk when you’re sick of almond and soy, but haven’t fallen so low as oat milk. Label wisdom: “THC? Never had it. Never will. There is 0.00% THC in our products.” Hempiness: See label wisdom. Tasters said: “The milk just tastes like milk. Whatever.”

Manna Organics banana walnut hemp bread

According to scripture, manna is bread from heaven that fell from the sky to the Israelites. This explains its incompatibility with toasters. Cake-y kosher lumps will be stuck in our office toaster until judgment day. Label wisdom: “‘…moisten your wheat, that the angel of water may enter it… and the blessing…will soon make the germ of life to sprout…then crush your grain and make thin wafers as did your forefathers…’ —Essene Gospel of Peace.” Hempiness: Made with more religion and bananas than hemp. Tasters said: “I note that it is very fibrous.” “Manna bread...oh god!” “I highly recommend that anyone putting this in an upright toaster do so with great care.”

Lundberg Hemp-a-licious organic rice cakes

A classic diet food, rice cakes tend to taste as bland as they look. Adding the completely flavorless hemp seeds is no remedy. Label wisdom: A photo of founders Eldon, Wendell, Harlan and Homer Lundberg. Hempiness: Rice-a-licious rice cakes, extra rice-y with rice…and hemp seed. Tasters said: “These are regular rice cakes. I guess they have hemp seeds.”

Nature’s Path Organic Sunny Hemp granola bars

Granola bars are perhaps the sluttiest snack, taking any flavor or ingredient into their oat-y shape. Cannabis shouldn’t feel special. While “Sunny Hemp” conjures dreams of lazing in green fields, these are fields of industrial bar production with sugar and oats. Label wisdom: “As my father Rupert

used to say, ‘Always leave the Earth better than you found it.’” Hempiness: More sugar than sunny hemp. Tasters said: “Sure, those bars are good. I like munching on those.” “I find them too sweet.”

Food Should Taste Good hemp tortilla chips

Just because food should taste good doesn’t mean it does. These look, feel, taste and smell like blue-corn chips. But they are blue-corn chips devoid of their crispy, satisfying souls. Food shouldn’t try to be something it’s not. Label wisdom: “As for the name, Food Should Taste Good, it kind of wrote itself.” Hempiness: Enough to take the gratifying crunch out of these corn chips. Tasters said: “They taste just like regular chips.” “Regular chips, with no crunch and no pop.”

French Meadow Bakery bread

This is the bread equivalent of a trustafarian. Its packaging screams natural, hemp-y and organic all the way. But Birkenstocks don’t make the (wo)man; and rolling wheat bread in hemp isn’t tricking us either. Label wisdom: “One of nature’s most perfect plants…known as a ‘wonder crop’ the hemp plant is abundant and environmentally sustainable.” Hempiness: Hemp bread is hardly hemp-y. Tasters said: “The ingredients on this revolutionary bread? After water, organic wheat flour and organic whole-wheat flour. This is wheat bread with hemp sprinkled on it.”

DITCHWEED Living Harvest Tempt coffee biscotti frozen dessert

If happy cheese comes from happy cows, shouldn’t ice cream from

cannabis be totally awesome? Well, no. With a slippery, unnerving texture, it resembles neither coffee, biscotti nor a satisfying frozen dessert. Label wisdom: “Give in to Tempt. Its luscious, indulgent taste is a temptation you can feel good about.” Hempiness: Too hemp-y for its own good. Tasters said: “The weirdest texture, even compared to other dairy alternatives.” “This ice cream sucks.” “I won’t even try that.”

Wilderness Poets Raw Hempspread hemp seed butter

A love child of nut butter and margarine, this dairy-free, nut-free alternative is also free of any appetizing flavor. Label wisdom: “Civil disobedience.” Hempiness: Hemp is literally the only ingredient, besides civil disobedience. Tasters said: “That green shit is disgusting. There’s no reason I would ever put that on anything.” “No one would want this spread for anything but political reasons.” “I just don’t understand why this exists.”

Wilderness Poets Roasted Hempspread Oregon hazelnut

Humankind has yet to taste anything paralleling the orgasmic beauty of Nutella (except maybe hummusdipped waffles). Wilderness Poets joins the many who have tried and failed. Label wisdom: “‘Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too was a gift.’ —Mary Oliver.” Hempiness: Far exceeds hazelnuttiness. Tasters said: “The mouth-stickiness is not nice. But it’s not that bad. If I had a peanut allergy, I might eat it.” “This looks like someone has taken hazelnuts and vomited them back into the jar.”

Whole Foods bulk hemp seeds

As nondescript as nondescript gets. They are seeds: beige, small and roundish in shape. We were wrong to expect much of them. How can cannabis be so simultaneously inspiring and bland? Label wisdom: So natural they don’t even label it. Hempiness: Duh. Tasters said: “These just taste like shitty almonds.” “All that hemp seed is likely to do is make something blander.” “The best part of the hemp plant is definitely not its seeds.”

Erewhon Supergrains buckwheat and hemp cereal

“Erewhon” is a utopian land invented by author Samuel Butler, a supposed anagram for “nowhere.” As in, no where, no way, no how will this healthy cornflake look-alike make it into our cannabis utopia. Label wisdom: “While hemp seeds come from the cannabis plant, they do not impart any intoxicating properties.” Hempiness: Dystopian. Tasters said: “This is fine...oh, I take that back; the aftertaste!” “It’s like setting a rice cake on fire.” “Seriously, like bong resin!”

Pro Bar Superfood Slam bar

Imagine every health-food trend condensed into a small, grass-colored square, with chocolate chips. Flax, epazote leaf, organic fenugreek seed, acai berry—it’s all here, with hemp. Label wisdom: “Food from nature is better than food from the lab.” Hempiness: Stone-cold sober—it only has hemp seeds because they threw in everything remotely earthy. Tasters said: “Wow. That is a lot of ingredients.” “It just tastes raw” “Superfood. Does that mean it hasn’t been cooked?”

Willamette Week FEBRUARY 20, 2013 wweek.com

MUSIC

feb. 20-26 INFRASTRUCTURE

= WW Pick. Highly recommended.

WHITEy MCCONNAUGHy

Prices listed are sometimes for advance ticket sales. At-the-door increases and socalled convenience charges may apply. Event lineups are subject to change after WW’s press deadlines. Editor: MATTHEW SINGER. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, go to wweek.com/ submitevents and follow submission directions. All shows should be submitted two weeks or more in advance of event. Press kits, CDs and especially vinyl can be sent to Music Desk, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Please include show or release date information with all physical mailings. Email: msinger@wweek.com. Fax: 243-1115.

WEDNESDAY, FEB. 20 Mrs. Magician, Charts

[SURF SNARK] At first glance, Mrs. Magician might sound like just another West Coast surf-pop throwback. Take a second listen. Past the Brian Wilson melodies and heavy employment of whammy bars you’ll find a band that’s much darker and funnier than its sunny jangles first let on. That’s not to say the ’60s surfer thing is just an affectation: The San Diego group’s 2012 debut LP, Strange Heaven, is first and foremost a fantastic pop album. It’s just that instead of singing about catching waves and girls, singer Jacob Turnbloom beatifically croons lines such as “Oooh, oooh, ooh-ooh, fuck the world” and “Whoa-whoa-whoa-awhoa, woman’s prison, that’s where my baby lives” in songs with names like “There Is No God” and “I’m Gonna Hangout With the Lesbians Next Door and Drop Acid.” RUTH BROWN. Bunk Bar, 1028 SE Water Ave., 894-9708. 9 pm. $8 advance, $10 day of show. 21+.

Mike Cooley

[THE PASSENGER] Drive-By Truckers lead guitarist and secondary songwriter Mike Cooley is notably less prolific than leader Patterson Hood, his contributions having waned during the last few DBTs records. So it’s no surprise, though perhaps a bit of a disappointment, that his just-issued, live solo debut, The Fool on Every Corner, contains not new material (save one song) but unaccompanied acoustic ver-

sions of Truckers tunes. While stripping down rock songs to their basics is often revealing, what’s revealed here is how Cooley’s voice needs the backing of a loud band to couch its slightly sour, not squarely on pitch character. JEFF ROSENBERG. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., 231-9663. 9 pm. $15. 21+.

THURSDAY, FEB. 21 Sound Tribe Sector 9

[JAM BAND] It takes seeing a live show by Sound Tribe Sector 9 to truly understand what the California-based band is all about. In avoiding the hippie-dance stigma that shrouds the “jam band” genre, STS9 chooses to up the dance factor of its performances by playing hard-hitting melodies and Daft Punk covers, and even getting acts like Snoop Dogg and Bassnectar to open. This is a far cry from your parents’ Grateful Dead concerts or older brother’s Phish shows. Not to say the band doesn’t cherish the whole improvisation concept: All the members are technically sound, mixing funk and jazz melodies with electronic synths and percussion. And, similar to the genre’s founding bands, Tribe has an extremely loyal following—the only difference is, its fans expect to get a little sweatier at shows. REED JACKSON. Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside St., 225-0047. 8 pm. $27.50 advance, $30 day of show. All ages.

GOING MEDIEvaL: Red Fang on the attack in Whitey McConnaughy’s “Prehistoric Dog” video.

THE A / V CLUB FIVE PORTLAND MUSIC VIDEO DIRECTORS YOU NEED TO KNOW. bY matthew sin ger

CONT. on page 33

JEFF BIzzELL

FLASHBACK

msinger@wweek.com

Twenty years ago, it used to be that only Axl Rose and Michael Jackson could afford to make music videos that looked like glorified short films. Now, with the advent of the Internet and affordability of digital recording equipment, even the most cheaply made videos can have a cinematic sweep. Thus, it being Oscar week, we offer a survey of some of Portland’s top video directors—those for whom the form isn’t a commercial for a band, but a movie in miniature.

ALICIA J. ROSE

Patti Smith at Crystal Ballroom, Aug. 5, 2001. Her performance of “Spell” that night, during which this photo was taken, appeared on the 2002 compilation Land. Photographer Jeff Bizzell recalls what happened after the show: “[Patti Smith] came back to town, it wasn’t too long after, and I tried to get a print of the photo to her. I gave it to her road manager and asked him to give it to her. And he took it, but I had the feeling, you know, that he wasn’t going to do it. So, the next time after that she came back to town, she did a poetry reading at Music Millennium, and [owner] Terry Currier wanted me to photograph it. Afterward, he introduced me to her, and I gave her a print of the picture. She said, ‘I wish I knew this existed. This is from the version we put on the album. We would have used it.’ I told her how I’d given it to her road manager, and she said, ‘Oh, that ass—that’s one more thing he didn’t do for me!’ So, I came close to having a bit of recognition there. It would have been nice.” (As told to Jeff Rosenberg.) SEE IT: Patti Smith plays Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside St., with Saint Maybe, on Tuesday, Feb. 26. 8 pm. $32.50 advance, $35 day of show. All ages.

Defining video: Corin Tucker Band’s “Neskowin,” a warmly nostalgic tale of teenage abandon, casting the former Sleater-Kinney howler in a dual role as a mother and a rocker—a duality she embodies in real life as well. All-time favorite video: Beastie Boys’ “Sabotage” and Björk’s “It’s Oh So Quiet.” Dream collaboration: Sharon Van Etten. “I actually wrote a treatment for her chilling song ‘Serpents’ that she dug, but it didn’t get past label politics,” Rose says. “That it lives only in my head is a sad thing.”

but a three-minute promotional short I did for this local cat Cassow’s new album, Cold Winter,” Porter says. “I’ve only been doing this for like a year and a half, so I generally hate a lot of my other videos. I feel like I’m just now starting to hit my stride.” All-time favorite video: Jay-Z’s “H to the Izzo.” “In the opening scene, a little Asian kid working in his parents’ convenience store raps the opening lines into his label maker. As a seventh-grader at Mount Tabor Middle School, this told me that if hip-hop was for this kid, then hip-hop could be for me too.” Dream collaboration: Shabazz Palaces. “[Rapper Ishmael Butler] is constantly saying things like, ‘Thou shalt bask in the light of my phone screen glow,’ that evoke a bazillion mental images.”

STEFAN NADELMAN

Defining work: Ramona Falls’ “I Say Fever,” an increasingly delirious fantasy that gets really interesting once the owl with the gun that fires smaller owls shows up. “It starts out as just another 2.5-D animation, and then people’s faces get ripped off,” Nadelman says. All-time favorite video: A-ha’s “Take on Me.” “When I watch it now it’s kind of goofy, but I still love that 1980s rotoscoping and glorified sketchbook aesthetic.” Dream collaboration: Animal Collective.

WHITEY MCCONNAUGHY

Defining work: Alialujah Choir’s “A House a Home,” in which the dream of the 1890s comes alive, then dies a beautiful death. All-time favorite video: Seventeen Evergreen’s “Polarity Song.” “It’s a great blend of irreverence, art and humor,” Fickle says. Dream collaboration: “Up until now, I’ve only directed downtempo songs, and I’m really craving to direct something upbeat, electronic or something that just plain rocks—no offense to Alialujah Choir and Portland Cello Project.”

Defining work: Red Fang’s “Prehistoric Dog,” which begins with the band shotgunning beers and ends with an epic battle against a gang of LARPers. “After directing commercials where the production is so big and jobs are so defined, it’s really enjoyable doing something where you get to get your hands dirty and, in this case, covered in beer,” McConnaughy says. All-time favorite video: “Chris Cunningham’s video of Aphex Twin’s ‘Come to Daddy’ is definitely one of the best videos of all time. A true stylish, artistic nightmare.” Dream collaboration: “I worked with ZZ Top lately, and that was pretty much a dream, so I’m good.”

NOAH PORTER

MORE: See videos from these and other Portland directors at wweek.com.

DANIEL FICKLE

Defining work: “It’s actually not a music video,

Willamette Week FEBRUARY 20, 2013 wweek.com

thursday-friday

[FOR PETE’S SAKE] One measure of a man’s life is how his friends, his acquaintances and even strangers react in his time of need. If that’s truly the case, Pete Krebs’ life has clearly made a major impact. Since word got out about his cancer diagnosis a few weeks ago, the Portland music scene has rallied to the side of the multifaceted singer-songwriter and former Hazel frontman, raising money to help pay his medical bills and organizing a series of benefit concerts. The lineup is somewhat besides the point, but it is an impressive collection of Portland songwriting talent—you already know Colin Meloy, and you should probably recognize Casey Neill, Black Prairie, and the Dharma Bums—which all by itself tells you everything Krebs has meant to this community. MATTHEW SINGER. Wonder Ballroom, 128 NE Russell St., 284-8686. 5:30 pm. $25 minimum suggested donation. All ages.

FRIDAY, FEB. 22 Luz Elena Mendoza and Edna Vazquez, Leo

[LEADING LADIES] Together, singersongwriters Luz Elena Mendoza and Edna Vazquez make a powerful lineup. Hell, separately, each woman can easily silence a crowded room. Known widely and fondly as Y la Bamba’s frontwoman, Mendoza also plays a killer show on her own. Blending influences from her Mexican heritage with contemporary indie-folk sounds, the striking band leader writes a variety of songs in English and Spanish that delve into her personal history with grace and magnetism. Vazquez, who was born in Mexico and moved to the United States as a teenager, draws from a mariachi background for her inwardreaching folk music. With a deeply irresistible voice and commanding stage presence, the Portland-based singer and guitar player performs with a rawness that’s intimate and entrancing. Between the two of them, there’s really no way tonight’s show will be anything short of excellent. EMILEE BOOHER. Alberta Rose Theatre, 3000 NE Alberta St., 7196055. 8 pm. $12 advance, $15 day of show. Under 21 permitted with legal guardian.

Toubab Krewe

[AFRAUXBEAT] Asheville, N.C., quintet Toubab Krewe takes its name from a West African term for white foreigners, and it’s an apt moniker for a band comprising jammers whose sound is like a hybridized sonic tour of the continent. It also sometimes results in a cultural identity crisis. The largely instrumental band is at its best when it rocks a percussion-driven rock sound prodded along by kora, fiddle and other seemingly mismatched instruments to craft a mix of rock, folk, country and Afrobeat of the Malian variety. But ventures into reggae and overlong jammery often derail the sound. Still, when the band’s firing on all cylinders, it’s a trip definitely worth taking. AP KRYZA. Dante’s, 350 W Burnside St., 226-6630. 9 pm. $12-$15. 21+.

Eat Skull, the Woolen Men, Still Caves, Little Pilgrims

[PSYCH NOISE] It seemed as if Portland noise-punk day-trippers Eat Skull had disappeared into the ether sometime after 2009’s Wild and Inside. As it turns out, the group did indeed vanish into the ether, and that’s where it recorded its new album. Although the band was previously known for disguising its songcraft in wailing squalls of distortion, III, released last week, finds

CONT. on page 34

PROFILE A N DY B AT T

Rock for Pete: The James Low Western Front, Sean Croghan, Casey Neill and the Norway Rats, Colin Meloy, Black Prairie, Lewi Longmire and the Left Coast Roasters, the Dharma Bums

MUSIC

THE SATIN CHAPS SATURDAY, FEB. 23 [INDIE A GO-GO] Much as one shouldn’t judge an album by its cover—least of all debut collections from mostly instrumental troupes born to flood dance floors— the chicly retro figures frugging atop the cover art of Might I Suggest The Satin Chaps? hint toward the urbane whimsy lurking within better than any descriptor. The indie-rock vets who compose Portland’s premier garage-soul band well understand the importance of sustaining the visual component. “We’ve been working on getting some custom ascots made with our name and logo,” says Luke Strahota, founding member of the High Violets and the Satin Chaps’ drummer. “Do something a little bit different than T-shirts.” They’re not dandies, exactly—well, bassist Eric Hedford was a Dandy, drumming with the Warhols through their first two albums before leaving to form Telephone—but the octet carefully chosen by Strahota in 2010 to flesh out his long-simmering dream gamely donned the matching outfits and set upon mastering a relatively obscure niche. “I was inspired by a movie called Vampyros Lesbos that had this really awesome soundtrack of instrumental, groovy music I just loved,” Strahota says. “There were horns, but it wasn’t like jazz or funk.” Hedford, a soul-night mainstay for 15 years as DJ Aquaman, already owned the Vampyros record and “always wanted to play in a band like this,” he says. “Music for dancing to—that’s what I got excited about. Even though we’re inspired by all the lofty German soundtrack composers, when it comes down to us actually implementing our ideas, there’s a little bit of garage in there because most of us have been in rock groups our whole lives.” The supper-club supergrwoup isn’t a new idea, and Strahota is hardly the first inveterate shoegazer to acknowledge changing perspective and embrace a different sort of feedback. This week’s Portland a Go-Go show incorporates a host of similarly inspired troupes trailing a like-minded devotion to bygone pleasures—less nostalgic than practical, glancing backward to regain the momentum of musical entertainment blending the carnal and camp with wry sophistication and thorough professionalism. “We’ve been concentrating on making our shows more like events where all the acts are of the same ilk,” Strahota says. “When people see these bands we’ve put together, they can kind of draw the lineage of what’s going on.” While corralling eight musicians—most with their own projects—presents obvious difficulties, the Chaps have managed to book a spring tour down the West Coast to capitalize on a burgeoning notoriety. “People show up and they just wanna dance,” Strahota says. “People dress up, too, and it’s been cool to see that. One of the liberating things about being in this band, being the age we are, we’re at that point now where we can just have fun. I’m stoked that we’re doing music that we really dig and that people really like. It’s important to me. I like playing music that people enjoy listening to. I don’t really feel like challenging anyone. As long as they get one of our hooks stuck in their head, then I know we’ve done our job.” JAY HORTON. Welcome to swinging Portland.

SEE IT: Portland a Go-Go, featuring the Satin Chaps, the Bang Girl Group Review, the Pynnacles and more, is at the Secret Society, 116 NE Russell St., on Saturday, Feb. 23. 8 pm. $10. 21+. Willamette Week FEBRUARY 20, 2013 wweek.com

MUSIC

friday-saturday

Rob Enbom and company exploring more placid realms of lo-fi mind-fracking. Don’t worry, though: It’s still psychedelic enough that you’ll walk away from the stereo feeling like you just spent a full day staring at a black-light poster. MATTHEW SINGER. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 288-3895. 9 pm. $5. 21+.

Portland Jazz Festival: Javon Jackson, Bobby Watson, Curtis Fuller, Eddie Henderson, Buster Williams, Lewis Nash

Portland Jazz Festival: Galactic, Latyrx

[ECLECTIC GET-DOWN] Where to even start with this show? Probably with the opener. In 1997, Latyrx— that’s Bay Area rappers Lyrics Born and Lateef the Truth Speaker— released The Album, a wonderfully odd, deeply funky hip-hop record. Even when literally rapping over each other, it sounded like they were creating a brand-new rap language. Then they went their separate ways. Reconvening 16 years later, the tracks from the promised second Latyrx album sound a bit more conventional (and more politically conscious), but they can still start a party—which is good, considering eclectic New Orleans funkateers Galactic is a party band par excellence. Why is Living Colour frontman Corey Glover performing with them? Just to make the show more batshit-awesome, I’m guessing. MATTHEW SINGER. Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside St., 225-0047. 9:30 pm. $25 advance, $28 day of show. All ages.

FaltyDL, Strategy, Ben Tactic, Lincolnup, D Poetica

Mikal Cronin, Big Eyes, Jollapin Jasper

Usnea, Ephemeros, Stoneburner

[DOOM METAL] When it comes to doom, cookie-cutter approaches and Xeroxed copies of copies have been the rule of late. Everyone is influenced by Black Sabbath and its disciples with such intricately diminishing returns that there’s no room left to improve what’s gone before. Luckily, local band Usnea takes a more progressive approach, lending the supreme down-tuned riffage of Cathedral a seriously psychedelic edge. And by that, I mean guitar effects that swirl these 15-minute tunes right to the center of a black hole. Tonight is the release show for the band’s eye-poppingly welldesigned and self-released LP. At only $10, it’s a steal and a musthave for doom and vinyl enthusiasts. NATHAN CARSON. The Know, 2026 NE Alberta St., 473-8729. 8 pm. $5. 21+.

Sallie Ford and the Sound Outside, AgesandAges

[PUNKY BLUESTER] We’ll be honest: Winning Willamette Week’s Best New Band poll is sometimes a bit of a curse. Much like the Grammys’ Best New Artist, winners experience a brief flurry of increased attention, then, for whatever reason, either fade away or break up altogether. In the two years since being crowned Best New Band, though, Sallie Ford and the Sound Outside have only flourished. The brassy, bluesy quartet put out a swinging-hot debut, played Letterman and blew up in

Willamette Week FEBRUARY 20, 2013 wweek.com

SATURDAY, FEB. 23

[ART BLAKEY TRIBUTE] A list of the dozens of distinguished alumni who emerged from drum master and band leader Art Blakey’s Jazz Messengers would include a high percentage of the greatest names in the music’s history—Shorter, Silver, Jarrett, Golson, Garrett, Mobley, Morgan, Brown, Hubbard, Marsalis, Eubanks—and fill this page. So would the list of jazz classics generated by Blakey’s celebrated, ever-evolving finishing school of jazz from the early 1950s through the late ’80s. We’re unlikely to experience a finer collection of erstwhile Messengers than this glittering group of latter-day jazz stars, all of whom developed their skills under the master’s sharp eye and subsequently created superb music on their own; they’ll be delivering some of that all-star ensemble’s greatest messages, enhanced by everything they’ve since learned. BRETT CAMPBELL. Newmark Theatre, 1111 SW Broadway, 248-4335. 7 pm. $28$58. All ages.

[U.S. GARAGE] As a teenage junkie, Drew Lustman didn’t have much going for him other than his music. After going through rehab and getting tired of the bands he was working with, he set out on his own, at age 19, as FaltyDL. In a cascading series of good fortune, he was signed to IDM and dubstep powerhouse Planet Mu in 2009, and then to Ninja Tune. His first full-length for the label, Hardcourage, features a chamber choral sample and bits of funk, jazz and lounge. It’s no mistake he has been signed to two major indie labels in the U.K.—finding American artists to compare him to is difficult. MITCH LILLIE. Rotture, 315 SE 3rd Ave., 234-5683. 9 pm. $8. 21+.

France. And judging by the rough’n’-tumble sound of just-released second album Untamed Beast, the experience has just made the band tougher. MATTHEW SINGER. Wonder Ballroom, 128 NE Russell St., 284-8686. 8 pm. $13 advance, $15 day of show. Sallie Ford and the Sound Outside also perform at Wonder Ballroom on Saturday, Feb. 23, with Sons of Huns. All ages.

[POP ROCKS SUPERSTAR] You have to hand it to Merge Records. Wise label that it is, it isn’t trying to track down the next Spoon or Arcade Fire. Instead, the North Carolina-based imprint is throwing its considerable resources behind young, hungry talent like Mikal Cronin. Cronin has secured his place on the garage-rock walk of fame via his Pixy Stix-fueled pop group the Moonhearts and his frequent work backing up Ty Segall on tour and on record. But don’t discount Cronin’s work under his own name. His Merge debut, MCII (out in May), adds a folk-country element that glares out even when the fuzzbox is cranked up and tempos (and minds) are wicked high. ROBERT HAM. Dante’s, 350 W Burnside St., 226-6630. 9 pm. $12. 21+.

Camper Van Beethoven, Casey Neill and the Norway Rats

[INDIE SHAPE-SHIFTERS] An argument can be made that Camper Van Beethoven is every bit as pioneering an indie-rock band as R.E.M. or the Replacements. Emerging from Northern California in 1983, before the term “indie” had any real meaning, the group was casting a variety of folk styles underneath the umbrella of punk. Naturally, that put them at odds with the punkrock purists of the time, but over the years, as bands became more willing to experiment and branch out beyond the Sturm und Drang of hardcore, CVB’s stylistic potpourri and sly irreverence started to look mighty forward-thinking. If the recently released La Costa Perdida— the band’s first all-new studio album in over 10 years—sounds a bit ho-hum, that’s only because the foundation it laid down 30 years ago is now overcrowded with imitators. MATTHEW SINGER. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 288-3895. 9 pm. $15. 21+.

Scrimshander, Fanno Creek, Desert Days

[MARITIME MOODS] If Titanic taught us anything, it’s that all the fun is had below decks. Here, toasts are made, boisterous laughter is contagious and dancing on tables is the norm. This is the kind of setting Portland duo Peter Valois and Andy Furgeson,

saturday-sunday aka Scrimshander, belongs in. Storming to and fro from strippeddown folk and brawnier, partially electrified ’90s rock, the young band has a knack for the instinctive—the primal, even. tonight, Scrimshander celebrates the vinyl release of its self-titled album, with a new music video to boot. Ales all around! MARK StocK. Someday Lounge, 125 NW 5th Ave., 2481030. 9 pm. $7. 21+.

Portland Jazz Festival: Sexmob

[nYc SPAGHEttI JAZZ] the downtown new York psychedelic-punk jazzers led by saxman Steven Bernstein and propelled by drummer Kenny Wollesen have long brought fun and forward thinking to a sometimes fusty genre. In this Portland Jazz Festival concert, Sexmob starts with the colorful, evocative film music of one of cinema’s greatest composers, nino Rota, who scored so many Fellini flicks. then they go a little wild. BREtt cAMPBELL.

MUSIC

Winningstad Theatre, Portland Center for the Performing Arts, 1111 SW Broadway, 248-4335. 9:30 pm. $32-$42. All ages.

SUNDAY, FEB. 24 Night Beds, Indians, Cat Martino

[noctURnAL BALLADS] Winston Yellen has the kind of haunting, choirlike voice that can coax leaves back onto barren trees. the nashville-via-colorado Springs musician has released a few EPs as night Beds, but nothing finer than Country Sleep. the elegant, pastoral, wispy collection of weehours folk was recorded in backwoods tennessee, in a house Johnny cash used to own. Yellen said he wrote most of the record from bed, and the lush, dimly lit soundscapes attest to that. Better still, Danish minimalist Søren Løkke

cont. on page 36

c A Lv I n vA L E n t I n E

ENDO DAYS

LAWZ SPOKEN’S CHRON: LEGACY a weed-scented, hip-hop crime drama, with an ’80s sound and a ’90s soul.

[RETRO-FUTURIST WEED RAP] A suburban upbringing leaves lasting and vivid impressions that rival those produced by even the dankest of joints. Matthew Gonzales can testify. The Portland producer, known as both Lawz Spoken and MSTR CNTRL, grew up in the ’90s, the era of bottomless Slurpees, Yasmine Bleeth and posters of flashy red Ferrari Testarossas. His latest record, CHRON: Legacy, draws upon those cul-de-sac daydreams and marries them with grown-up vices for a cotton-mouthed hip-hop adventure he calls an “’80s crime drama/sci-fi thriller album.” “We basically tried to do our own version of the TRON soundtrack,” Gonzales says. On the first installment of the CHRON series, Gonzales cast fellow Sandpeople member OnlyOne to serve as lead MC. For the sequel, he called upon Portland battle-rap heavyweight Illmaculate. “Since Illmaculate was the co-star on the first album, we thought it’d be dope to get him to play the main role in Legacy,” Gonzales says. The two-time World Rap champion’s delivery is as sharp as ever, set atop slapping beats and speedy synthetic hi-hats. A theme of escapism runs through all 10 tracks, in the form of hot-boxed verses (“Feeling nifty but I’m drowning slow, swimming in this cloud of smoke/ And it’s about time, show me how high is cloud nine”) and fantasy-tinged pop-culture references (“I’m higher than a jet pack on Boba Fett’s back”). Glassy-eyed synthesizers keep the material in motion. The feel is politely surreal, much more cerebral and weed-induced than one would expect from a double-disc set in the coked-out ’80s. It plays like a single, delightfully old school-yet-futuristic 40-minute dream. How many bad ideas waft across a lengthy exhale of weed smoke? The answer, of course, is many. This isn’t one of them. Credit to Lawz Spoken and Illmaculate for extracting the hardto-find positives from decades-old suburbia, and for reminding us of the powerful creative process that allowed us to believe— or, at least, make believe—we weren’t really there in the first place. MARK STOCK. HEAR IT: CHRON: Legacy is available for streaming and download at illmaculate.bandcamp.com. Willamette Week FEBRUARY 20, 2013 wweek.com

MUSIC

sunday-monday

Juul shares the stage, who, under the name Indians, is responsible for some of the purest, chilliest, glassiest sounds this year. MARK STOCK. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., 231-9663. 9 pm. $10 advance, $12 day of show. 21+.

Kishi Bashi, Shugo Tokumaru, Tall Tall Trees

[ONE-MAN BAND] On his 2012 debut LP, 151a, Kaoru Ishibashi—who plays under the name Kishi Bashi— calls on a number of recognizable influences, with whirling violin riffs, layers of synthesizer, vibrant harmonies and chirping falsettos. But the music of the talented singersongwriter, violinist and multiinstrumentalist culminates on a finely articulated and intricately crafted force of its own. From the impressive production of 151a to his complex live-looping performances, Ishibashi hones his astute affection for detail and his ear for engaging compositions in every aspect of his work. EMILEE BOOHER. Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison St., 239-7639. 7:30 pm. $12.

Carrie Rodriguez

[AMERICAFOLKTRY] It takes some getting used to, but once you accept that Carrie Rodriguez’s latest album, Give Me All You Got, does not fit comfortably into the folk, rock, Americana or country genres but rather incorporates and embodies them all, you should dig the ride. Rodriguez’s vocals are empowered and sassy one minute, subtle and introspective the next. Her range keeps you wondering what she will do from one song to another. Her prowess on the violin is a nice touch, too. Her tracks frequent the love-and-heartbreak section of the songwriting department a bit too often for some people’s tastes, but otherwise she is a damn good performer. BRIAN PALMER. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 288-3895. 8 pm. $18 advance, $20 day of show. 21+.

Portland Jazz Festival: Nancy King, Glen Moore, Steve Christofferson

[JAZZ VOCAL LEGEND] Nancy King is simply one of the finest musi-

cians ever to come out of Oregon, and probably the greatest jazz singer alive. Since rising to fame in the 1960s Bay Area jazz scene, the Springfield native sustained two amazingly fertile, decades-long artistic partnerships with superb musicians: bassist Glen Moore, whom she met during their student days at the University of Oregon in 1960 before he went on to cofound the world-jazz-fusion group Oregon (it’s recorded three albums), and pianist Steve Christofferson, whom she’s performed with since 1978, from weekly local gigs to world tours and recordings. In this Portland Jazz Festival showcase, she’ll make magic with both. BRETT CAMPBELL. Winningstad Theatre, Portland Center for the Performing Arts, 1111 SW Broadway, 248-4335. 3 pm. $29-$39. All ages.

MONDAY, FEB. 25 R. Stevie Moore, Lake, Paleo

[PROGRESSIVE POP] No offense, Ariel Pink, but R. Stevie Moore’s been king of depressive fourtrack bedroom recordings for 10 years longer than you’ve been alive. Moore’s prog-pop sensibilities stretch thin at times over his immense catalog of 400 releases, many of which were only available as mail-order CD-Rs or cassettes. But embracing the bad, the good and the obscurity seems to be the point. Last year’s Ku Klux Glam, Moore’s third collaboration with longtime fan Pink, registers no less than 62 tracks. Many are gems, like the drab back-and-forth of “SteviePink Javascript,” while others, like “Sacred Snow Duo,” seem like recordings of Dranoslurred calls to the poison-control hotline. Perhaps unsurprisingly, the 61-year-old Moore has already released two albums in 2013, the mundane, wordplay-obsessed Burst Upon the Scene and the $949 “for fans only” New World Elder. Given that he only started touring seriously in 2011, this show is a singular opportunity to see the rougher-hewn side of pop come out of its bedroom hiding. MITCH LILLIE. Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison St., 239-7639. 8:30 pm. $10 advance, $12 day of show. 21+.

PRIMER

BY ROBERT HAM

THE RESIDENTS Formed: In 1969 in San Mateo, Calif. Sounds like: The history of popular music and modern art as viewed through a funhouse mirror, with aspects coming into focus then warping out of proportion. For fans of: Matmos, Negativland, Laurie Anderson, Andy Warhol, Moondog. Latest release: 2011’s Coochie Brake, the band’s 47th full-length. Why you care: Any attempts to pin down the Residents are fruitless. For one, you have no idea who you’re trying to capture: The art-rock group has remained completely anonymous for nigh on 45 years, preferring to hide behind a series of costumes, including its now-iconic eyeball masks. The band is responsible for some of the slipperiest music ever recorded. The Residents’ first single, “Santa Dog,” initially released in 1972, is a jagged chunk of denatured surf guitar and stumblebum rhythms—which, legend has it, received its first airplay on KBOO. From there, the group incorporated fusion jazz, acid rock and space funk; wildly reinterpreted Elvis Presley classics (1989’s The King & Eye); created a musical based on lesser-known stories from the Bible (1998’s Wormwood); and, on Coochie Brake, created soupy New Age/ambient epics with Spanish narration. The Residents return to Portland to celebrate the 40th anniversary of “Santa Dog,” and perhaps drum up some interest in its Ultimate Box Set: all of the group’s 60-plus releases and your own eyeball mask packaged in a refrigerator, and carrying a price tag of $100,000. ROBERT HAM. SEE IT: The Residents play the Hawthorne Theatre, 1507 SE 39th Ave., on Friday, Feb. 22. 7 pm. $25 advance, $30 day of show. 21+. 36

Willamette Week FEBRUARY 20, 2013 wweek.com

MUSIC CALENDAR

[FEB. 20-26] Tonic Lounge

= WW Pick. Highly recommended. Editor: Mitch Lillie. TO HAVE YOUR EVENT LISTED, send show information at least two weeks in advance on the web at wweek.com/submitevents or (if you book a specific venue) enter your events at dbmonkey. com/wweek. Press kits, CDs and especially vinyl can be sent to Music Desk, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Please include show or release date information with all physical mailings. Email: music@wweek.com. For more listings, check out wweek.com.

3100 NE Sandy Blvd. P.R.O.B.L.E.M.S., Don’t, Monica Nelson

Katie O’briens

Kenton Club

116 NE Russell St. Story Road (9 pm); Pete Krebs & His Portland Playboys (6 pm)

JENNIfER LEIgH

225 SW Ash St. The IcanIcants, Emergency, Stein

backspace

115 NW 5th Ave. Gold Dust, Touch’n Love’n Squeez’n

branx

320 SE 2nd Ave. Turisas, Firewind, Stolen Babies

bunk bar

1028 SE Water Ave. Mrs. Magician, Charts

Crystal ballroom

1332 W Burnside St. The Mowgli’s, Great Wilderness

doug Fir Lounge 830 E Burnside St. Mike Cooley

duff’s Garage

1635 SE 7th Ave. Suburban Slim’s Blues Jam (9 pm); High Flyer Trio (6 pm)

Goodfoot Lounge

2845 SE Stark St. Left Coast Country, Kory Quinn and the Comrades

Hawthorne Theatre

3862 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Doro, Sister Sin, Earth to Ashes, Stonecreep

Ivories Jazz Lounge and Restaurant

1435 NW Flanders St. Portland Jazz Festival: The Weber Iago/David Valdez Latin-Jazz Quartet (8 pm); Colligan Men (5 pm)

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave. Portland Jazz Festival: Matt Wilson’s Arts & Crafts (9:30 pm and 7 pm)

Landmark Saloon

4847 SE Division St. Jake Ray (9 pm); Bob Shoemaker (6 pm)

LaurelThirst

2958 NE Glisan St. Simon Tucker Blues Band (9 pm); Wayward Vessel (6 pm)

1332 W Burnside St. You Me & Apollo

backspace

2958 NE Glisan St. Timberbound Revival, Renegade Stringband (9:30 pm); The Left Coast Roasters (6 pm)

Mississippi Pizza

115 NW 5th Ave. The Epilogues, Mosby, My Mantle, the Toy Gun Conspiracy

Mississippi Studios

biddy McGraw’s

3552 N Mississippi Ave. The Harm (9 pm); Boa Saida (6 pm)

Revival drum Shop

Camellia Lounge

Mississippi Studios

3552 N Mississippi Ave. Mr. Hoo 3939 N Mississippi Ave. David Jacobs-Strain 1465 NE Prescott St. Catherine Lee, Pulse Emitter

Secret Society Lounge 116 NE Russell St. Midnight Serenaders, the Jenny Finn Orchestra, Everything’s Jake, the Stolen Sweets, Boy & Bean, the Martens Combination (Pete Krebs benefit)

Slabtown

1033 NW 16th Ave. Privatized Air

The Know

6000 NE Glisan St. Sweet Home 510 NW 11th Ave. Portland Jazz Festival: Mechanically Separated Trio

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Nucular Aminals, Stay Calm, For the Lash

Crystal ballroom

4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd. I Digress

1332 W Burnside St. Sound Tribe Sector 9

doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St. Water Tower, Will West & the Friendly Strangers, Brad Mackeson

duff’s Garage

1635 SE 7th Ave. Gusto Brothers (9 pm); Tough Lovepyle (6 pm)

2026 NE Alberta St. Pataha Hiss, the Cry, Sharks from Mars

East End

The Old Church

Goodfoot Lounge

1422 SW 11th Ave. Fete Francaise: Christine Welch Elder, Richard Bower

The Old Church

1422 SW 11th Ave. Gordon Lee

Tony Starlight’s

3728 NE Sandy Blvd. Ayars Times Two Vocal Showcase

Valentine’s

232 SW Ankeny St. Baby Gaga, Unkle Funkle, Babes in Toyland

White Eagle Saloon

836 N Russell St. Hip Hatchet, Bike Thief, Those Willows

THuRS. FEb. 21 Alberta Rose Theatre 3000 NE Alberta St. Led Kaapana

Ash Street Saloon 225 SW Ash St.

Mississippi Pizza

203 SE Grand Ave. The Israelites, Long Shot 2845 SE Stark St. Scott Pemberton Trio

Hawthorne Theatre Lounge

1503 SE Cesar E. Chavez Ave. Grammies, The Crenshaw, Frizz

Hawthorne Theatre

3862 SE Hawthorne Blvd. The Wailers, Roger Steffens

Ivories Jazz Lounge and Restaurant

1435 NW Flanders St. Portland Jazz Festival: Ezra Weiss Sextet (8 pm); The Hutchinsons (5 pm)

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave. The Mel Brown B3 Organ Group

Kelly’s Olympian

426 SW Washington St. Towering Trees, Gresham Transit Center, Wet Trident

Mount Tabor Theater

PCPA Antoinette Hatfield Hall

1111 SW Broadway Kenny Garrett Quartet (9:30 pm); Patricia Barber Quartet (7 pm)

Portland Prime

121 SW 3rd Ave. Portland Jazz Festival: Tony Pacini

Red Room

2530 NE 82nd Ave. Privatized Air, Feral Drollery, Erik Anarchy, Queen Chief, Victor Morningstar, Super Desu, Dwight Dickinson, Nuclear Salt

Rogue Ales Public House

1339 NW Flanders St. Portland Jazz Festival: Cameron Morgan Trio

Secret Society Lounge 116 NE Russell St. Shoeshine Blue

Someday Lounge

125 NW 5th Ave. Mother Shrew, The Hill Dogs

The blue diamond

2016 NE Sandy Blvd. Ben Jones

The blue Monk

3341 SE Belmont St. Corey Heppner Trio

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St. Aranya, Beringia

Tiger bar

317 NW Broadway Karaoke from Hell

2809 NE Sandy Blvd. Danger Death Ray, Not Yet!, Honey Badger, Faster Housecat

Secret Society Lounge

2025 N Kilpatrick St. Hong Kong Banana, Hopeless Jack & The Handsome Devils, Sharks from Mars

Shaker and Vine

Winningstad Theatre

Landmark Saloon

4847 SE Division St. Countryside Ride (9 pm); WC Beck (6 pm)

1033 NW 16th Ave. Black Snake, Machine, Young Dad, Truth or AAAAA!

Laughing Horse books

Star Theater

LaurelThirst

The blue diamond

FRI. FEb. 22

WEd. FEb. 20

221 NW 10th Ave. The Linda Hornbuckle Band

800 NW 6th Ave. Portland Jazz Festival: Randy Porter Trio

Wonder ballroom

Ash Street Saloon

Rotture

White Eagle Saloon

128 NE Russell St. Rock for Pete: The James Low Western Front, Sean Croghan, Casey Neill and the Norway Rats, Colin Meloy, Black Prairie, Lewi Longmire and the Left Coast Roasters, the Dharma Bums

LaurelThirst

8 NW 6th Ave. Pennywise, Lagwagon, Rendered Useless 315 SE 3rd Ave. FaltyDL, Strategy, Ben Tactic, Lincolnup, D Poetica

Portland Center for the Performing Arts, 1111 SW Broadway Portland Jazz Festival: Kenny Garrett Quartet (9:30 pm); Patricia Barber Quartet (7 pm)

Spacewaster, Muffaluffagus, Stein

Roseland Theater

Jimmy Mak’s

3728 NE Sandy Blvd. Gary Smith’s Mardi Gras All-Stars

Wilfs Restaurant and bar

Lola’s Room at the Crystal ballroom

2346 SE Ankeny St. Colin Johnson (8 pm); Lisa Frazier (6 pm)

Tony Starlight’s

836 N Russell St. Hobo Nephews of Uncle Frank, Pete Ekstam (8:30 pm); Kory Quinn (5:30 pm)

CROSS-LEGGEd ANd PAINLESS: Kishi bashi plays Holocene on Sunday, Feb. 24.

Jade Lounge

Alberta Rose Theatre

3000 NE Alberta St. Luz Elena Mendoza and Edna Vazquez, Leo

Ash Street Saloon

225 SW Ash St. Truth Vibration, Raw Dog and the Close Calls, Major Wolf

backspace

115 NW 5th Ave. The Doubleclicks, Kirby Krackle, Klopfenpop

biddy McGraw’s

6000 NE Glisan St. Funk Shui

Camellia Lounge

510 NW 11th Ave. Portland Jazz Festival: Rich Halley Quartet

Crystal ballroom

1332 W Burnside St. The Neighbourhood

dante’s

350 W Burnside St. Toubab Krewe

doug Fir Lounge 830 E Burnside St. The Whammy

duff’s Garage

1635 SE 7th Ave. The 44’s (9 pm); The Hamdogs (6 pm)

Ford Food and drink

2505 SE 11th Ave. Lewi Longmire, the Darlin’ Blackbirds

Habesha

801 NE Broadway Beach Party, Beach Blonde Dudes, Holy Tentacles, Bashface

Hawthorne Theatre Lounge

1503 SE Cesar E. Chavez Ave. Old Mill, Cutbank

Hawthorne Theatre

3862 SE Hawthorne Blvd. The Residents

Hotel Fifty

50 SW Morrison St Portland Jazz Festival: Paul Mazzio Trio

Ivories Jazz Lounge and Restaurant

1435 NW Flanders St. Portland Jazz Festival: David Valdez (11 pm); David Friesen Circle 3 with Rob Davis (8 pm); Jim Templeton (5 pm)

12 NE 10th Ave. Fringe Class, Ghosttapes, the Plodes, Yeti Sweater 2958 NE Glisan St. Garcia Birthday Band (9:30 pm); Alice Stuart (6 pm)

Mississippi Pizza

3552 N Mississippi Ave. The Struts, the Keplers (9 pm); Boy & Bean (6 pm)

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Eat Skull, the Woolen Men, Still Caves, Little Pilgrims

Mount Tabor Theater

4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Otis Heat, Fox and the Law (concert hall); Oedipus (lounge)

Mt. Tabor Theater Lounge

4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Oedipus, Uprooted

Nel Centro

1408 SW 6th Ave. Portland Jazz Festival: Mike Pardew, Dave Captein, Randy Rollofson

Newmark Theatre

1111 SW Broadway Portland Jazz Festival (Art Blakey Tribute): Javon Jackson, Bobby Watson, Curtis Fuller, Eddie Henderson, Buster Williams, Lewis Nash

2929 SE Powell Blvd. Bella Notte - a “Beautiful Night” of Belly Dance

Slabtown

13 NW 6th Ave. Polecat, the Quick & Easy Boys, True Spokes 2016 NE Sandy Blvd. LaRhonda Steele

The blue Monk

3341 SE Belmont St. Portland Jazz Festival: Battle Hymns & Gardens

The Firkin Tavern

1937 SE 11th Ave. The We Shared Milk, Souvenir Driver, Radion

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St. Usnea, Ephemeros, Stoneburner

The Lovecraft

421 SE Grand Ave. Sandi Leeper, Particle Son, Ghost Motor, DJ Horrid

The Nines

Portland Prime

121 SW 3rd Ave. Portland Jazz Festival: Tony Pacini

Record Room

8 NE Killingsworth St. Grave Babies, Vice Device, Tyrants

Red Room

2530 NE 82nd Ave. Fluid Spill, Doc Brown Experiment, AC Lov Ring, A Killing Dove

The TARdIS Room

1218 N Killingsworth St. Ataxia Cab

Tonic Lounge

Tony Starlight’s

Vie de boheme 1530 SE 7th Ave. Ty Curtis

West Cafe

1201 SW Jefferson St. Portland Jazz Festival: Mary Kadderly and Dan Gildea

White Eagle Saloon

836 N Russell St. Matthew Lindley Commission, the Lonesomes, the Blackberry Bushes Stringband (9:30 pm); Reverb Brothers (5:30 pm)

Wilfs Restaurant and bar

400 SE 12th Ave. Oliver Franklin

800 NW 6th Ave. Portland Jazz Festival: Karla Harris, Mike Horsfall, Tim Rapp, Scott Stead

RiverPlace Hotel

Winningstad Theatre

Red and black Cafe

1510 SW Harbor Way Portland Jazz Festival: Belinda Underwood with Dan Gaynor

Ash Street Saloon

225 SW Ash St. IAMe, Speaker Minds, the Halve Two, Monsters INK, David Dalla G, Megan M. Hamilton

backspace

115 NW 5th Ave. A Happy Death, Tiananmen Bear, Muscle and Marrow, Lindsay Clark, BRIAN S. ELLIS

benson Hotel

309 SW Broadway Portland Jazz Festival: Halie Loren, Matt Treder and Mark Schneider

beulahland

118 NE 28th Ave Hey Queen!: Bruce LaBruiser

bob White Theatre

6423 SE Foster Road Melao de Cuba with Virginia Lopez

Camellia Lounge

510 NW 11th Ave. Portland Jazz Festival: Circle 3 Trio

Club 21

2035 NE Glisan St. Black Pussy, Mos Generator, Ancient Warlocks

Clyde’s Prime Rib

5474 NE Sandy Blvd. ON-Q Band

Crystal ballroom

350 W Burnside St. Mikal Cronin, Big Eyes, Jollapin Jasper

1422 SW 11th Ave. Works: Lost Lander, The Alialujah Choir

Original Halibut’s II

1111 SW Broadway Steve Kuhn Trio

1314 NW Glisan St. Toshi Onizuka Trio

The Old Church

3728 NE Sandy Blvd. Bureau of Standards Big Band

PCPA Antoinette Hatfield Hall

Andina

1332 W Burnside St. Portland Jazz Festival: Galactic, Latyrx

O’Connor’s Vault

2527 NE Alberta St. Cool Breeze

303 SW 12th Ave. Daniel Jones, Jordan Roach

525 SW Morrison Portland Jazz Festival: Tahirah Memory with AG Donnaloia

3100 NE Sandy Blvd. Rare Monk, Ninja Turtle Ninja Tiger, Bike Thief

7850 SW Capitol Highway John Bunzow

SAT. FEb. 23 Al’s den at the Crystal Hotel

Portland Center for the Performing Arts, 1111 SW Broadway Portland Jazz Festival: Steve Kuhn Trio, Devin Phillips

Wonder ballroom

128 NE Russell St. Sallie Ford and the Sound Outside, AgesandAges

dante’s

duff’s Garage

1635 SE 7th Ave. Too Loose Cajun/Zydeco Band

East End

203 SE Grand Ave. The Caste

Foggy Notion

3416 N Lombard St. Jizz Wisard, Sistafist, Juicy Karkass, Wormbag

Gemini Lounge

6526 SE Foster Road MJ12

Goodfoot Lounge

2845 SE Stark St. Dead Winter Carpenters, Scott Law (Goodfoot 12th anniversary)

Hawthorne Theatre

3862 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Israel Vibration and Roots Radics, Outpost

Holocene

1001 SE Morrison St. 8 1/2 DJs: DJ Nathan Detroit, DJ Copy, DJ Maxx Bass, DJ Zac Eno, New Dadz DJs, DJ Zack, DJ Sister Sister

Hotel Fifty

50 SW Morrison St Portland Jazz Festival: David Kim and Hu Hao

Ivories Jazz Lounge and Restaurant

1435 NW Flanders St. Portland Jazz Festival: David Valdez (11 pm); Mike Progodich Quartet (8 pm); Park Avenue Group (5 pm)

CONT. on page 38

Willamette Week FEBRUARY 20, 2013 wweek.com

MUSIC CALENDAR

feb. 20-26 Blow Pony: Double Duchess, Airick X, Just Dave, Stormy Roxx, Fingerbang, Kasio Smashio, MFG Disco, Jay Douglas, Gluve

M o r t i M e r G r e y- H o p e

BAR SPOTLIGHT

Secret Society Lounge

116 NE Russell St. The Satin Chaps, the Bang Girl Group Review, the Pynnacles, Brownish Black, the Moon Spinners, DJ Drew Groove, DJ Cecilia

Shaker and Vine

2929 SE Powell Blvd. Blast-O-Casters

Slabtown

1033 NW 16th Ave. Fasters, Sharks from Mars

Someday Lounge

125 NW 5th Ave. Scrimshander, Fanno Creek, Desert Days

The blue diamond

2016 NE Sandy Blvd. The Sportin’ Lifers

INTERNAL AFFAIRS MEMO REFERENCE METRO POLICE CLUB: Following an anonymous tip about suspicious behavior of off-duty police officers, on Feb. 11 Sgt. Brian O’Naughtington enters the door beneath the glowing PPAA (Portland Police Athletic Association, 618 SE Alder Street, 2350202) in plainclothes. Officer observes a dingy, cash-only dive bar with a pool table and a dartboard populated by three older men and manned by an older barmaid. Barmaid asks, “Can I help you?” O’Naughtington requests a beer. Barmaid responds by asking if he is a member. Confused, he responds, “Excuse me?” Barmaid moves aggressively toward O’Naughtington, motioning for him to exit and saying “goodbye.” O’Naughtington asks what she means. She responds with an aggressive “goodbye” as three patrons stand with arms crossed, assuming an aggressive pose. Officer believes he observes one of the patrons smoking indoors, but is not certain he has probable cause to write a ticket. He files a report with headquarters referencing general shabbiness of tavern and possible violation of smoking ordinance. Denied entry through main door, on Feb. 12 O’Naughtington begins attempts to infiltrate the building through public rental hall. Officer calls to ask about hosting a wedding reception for himself and his partner in late June. He is promptly told they’re booked up indefinitely. On Feb. 13, officer initiates stakeout. O’Naughtington observes several civilians gathering on the cigarette butt-strewn street. Friendly civilian tells him a group has rented out the large gymnasium upstairs for zydeco dancing and invites the officer in for a look. No illegal behavior is observed. Dancers are friendly and welcoming. Officer then approaches the bar to ask about joining. “It’s a club for police only.” Officer asks for a beer. He is told no. “Why do you think this is a bar?” asks the woman behind the bar. Officer points to neon sign hanging out front and presence of an alcohol-stocked bar. He is asked to leave. Investigation will continue. SGT. BRIAN O’NAUGHTINGTON.

The blue Monk

3341 SE Belmont St. The Infinity of it All, Conjugal Visitors

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St. Ultra Goat, Contempt, Steel Hymen

The nines

525 SW Morrison Portland Jazz Festival: Jessie Marquez with Clay Giberson

Tony Starlight’s

3728 NE Sandy Blvd. Tony Starlight (Neil Diamond tribute)

2346 SE Ankeny St. Delaney and Paris (8 pm); The Oh My My’s (6 pm)

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave. The Bobby Torres Ensemble

Katie o’briens

2809 NE Sandy Blvd. Orchids, Party Foul, Young Dad, Valkyrie Rodeo

Kelly’s olympian

426 SW Washington St. Gordon Avenue, Frame by Frame, Crown Point

Kenton Club

2025 N Kilpatrick St. Lubec

LaurelThirst

2958 NE Glisan St. Naomi Hooley & Rob Stroup, Brian Copeland (9:30 pm); James Low Western Front (6 pm)

Mississippi Pizza

3552 N Mississippi Ave. Patina, Old Zealand (9 pm); Succotash (6 pm); the Alphabeticians (4 pm)

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Camper Van Beethoven, Casey Neill and the Norway Rats

Mount Tabor Theater

4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Kimya Dawson, Tyler Matl, StormMiguel Florez, Eli Conley, the Cabin Project

nel Centro

PCPa antoinette hatfield hall 1111 SW Broadway Sexmob

Portland Prime

121 SW 3rd Ave. Portland Jazz Festival: Mel Brown Trio

record room

8 NE Killingsworth St. Stochastic Mettle Union Local #35, the Translucent Spiders, Troubled by Insects, Play Human, Sister Mamie Foreskin, Alien Parkinson Project, Ras Mix, Okhrana

1408 SW 6th Ave. Portland Jazz Festival: Mike Pardew, Scott Hall, Dave Captein, Randy Rollofson

red room

newmark Theatre

roseland Theater

1111 SW Broadway Portland Jazz Festival: Jack DeJohnette, Ravi Coltrane, Matthew Garrison, George Colligan

Willamette Week FEBRUARY 20, 2013 wweek.com

2530 NE 82nd Ave. Stuck On Nothing, Flying Viminas, Town and the Writ, the Floorboards 8 NW 6th Ave. Britnee Kellog

rotture

315 SE 3rd Ave.

hawthorne Theatre

3862 SE Hawthorne Blvd. When the Lights Go Out, Simon Says Die, Above the Broken, Keeping Secrets, Prepare for Impact

holocene

1001 SE Morrison St. Kishi Bashi, Shugo Tokumaru, Tall Tall Trees

ounge and restaurant 1435 NW Flanders St. Mousai Remix (7 pm); George Colligan Quintet (2:30 pm)

Kells

112 SW 2nd Ave. Dave Ross

Landmark Saloon

4847 SE Division St. Ian Miller and Pete Krebs

LaurelThirst

2958 NE Glisan St. Dan Haley & Tim Acott (9:30 pm); Freak Mountain Ramblers (6 pm)

Kells brewpub

210 NW 21st Ave. Traditional Irish Jam Session

Kells

112 SW 2nd Ave. Dave Ross

Landmark Saloon

dig a Pony

Mississippi Pizza

203 SE Grand Ave. Wake for Hunter S. Thompson with DJ Danny Dodge

3552 N Mississippi Ave. Mr. Ben

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. A Silent Film, Royal Teeth

Mount Tabor Theater

4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd. The Preservation

Star bar

639 SE Morrison St. Metal Monday with DJ Blackhawk

The blue diamond

2016 NE Sandy Blvd. Sumo

winningstad Theatre

Portland Center for the Performing Arts, 1111 SW Broadway Portland Jazz Festival (Nino Rota Tribute): Sexmob

wonder ballroom

128 NE Russell St. Sallie Ford & the Sound Outside, Sons of Huns

Sun. Feb. 24 andina

ash Street Saloon

225 SW Ash St. David Rovics, Chris Baron

bossanova ballroom

722 E Burnside St. Ben Rice Band, The Jonathan Smith Jazz Trio, Brush Prairie

Crystal ballroom

1332 W Burnside St. Molly Hatchet, Root Jack

dante’s

350 W Burnside St. Eddie Spaghetti

doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St. Night Beds, Indians, Cat Martino

duff’s Garage

1635 SE 7th Ave. Kevin Selfe & the Tornadoes

Ford Food and drink 2505 SE 11th Ave. Tim Roth

Goodfoot Lounge 2845 SE Stark St.

639 SE Morrison St. DJ Chris Crusher

836 N Russell St. Samsel and the Skirt

nel Centro

1408 SW 6th Ave. Portland Jazz Festival: Brooklyn Street Jazz Quartet

newmark Theatre

TueS. Feb. 26 aladdin Theater

3017 SE Milwaukie Ave. Robben Ford

1111 SW Broadway Nancy King

600 E Burnside St. Reva DeVito, Minden, De La Warr

3000 NE Alberta St. Joey Arias and Kristian Hoffman

backspace

Crystal ballroom

1332 W Burnside St. Patti Smith, Saint Maybe

dante’s

The rose

3862 SE Hawthorne Blvd. The Summer Set, We Are the In Crowd, Go Radio

Jade Lounge

111 SW Ash St. Natasha Kmeto, Ben Tactic, Rap Class

2346 SE Ankeny St. K’lyn Bain (8 pm); Jonah Luke, Sima Cunningham (6 pm)

Vie de boheme

Jimmy Mak’s

1530 SE 7th Ave. ARC Jazz Vibes Trio

white eagle Saloon 836 N Russell St. Nicodemus Snow

winningstad Theatre

Portland Center for the Performing Arts, 1111 SW Broadway Portland Jazz Festival: Nancy King, Glen Moore, Steve Christofferson

Mon. Feb. 25 andina

1314 NW Glisan St. Pete Krebs

Crystal ballroom

1332 W Burnside St. Gold Fields

dante’s

350 W Burnside St. Karaoke from Hell

doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St. Secnd Best, Faithless Saints, Burn the Stage, Angry Lions

holocene

1001 SE Morrison St. R. Stevie Moore, Lake, Paleo

221 NW 10th Ave. The Mel Brown Septet

Kells

112 SW 2nd Ave. Dave Ross

Landmark Saloon

4847 SE Division St. Rocky Butte Wranglers

LaurelThirst

2958 NE Glisan St. Jackstraw

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Adrian Legg

Shaker and Vine

2929 SE Powell Blvd. Jim Prescott

Star Theater

13 NW 6th Ave. Rangda, Earth

The blue diamond

2016 NE Sandy Blvd. Rhoades, Porter and Draper

Valentine’s

232 SW Ankeny St. Tender Age, Souvenir Driver, Soft Shadows

white eagle Saloon

836 N Russell St. Will West, the Druthers, the Sale

412 NE Beech St. DJs Shrimp Tempura, Booty Futures

doug Fir Lounge

736 SE Grand Ave. Safi

Ground Kontrol

830 E Burnside St. Delhi 2 Dublin, Anjali & the Kid

511 NW Couch St. Joystick with DJ Trim Jones

Ground Kontrol

holocene

The Lovecraft

1001 SE Morrison St. Night Moves: Sex Life DJs, Cooky Parker, Maxx Bass, DJ Void (9 pm); Aperitivo Happy Hour with DJ Honey O (5 pm)

Spare room

4830 NE 42nd Ave. Grooveland with DJ Drew Groove

2026 NE Alberta St. Eye Candy

2026 NE Alberta St. Unknown Relatives, Feel Young, Hooded Hags

SaT. Feb. 23

dig a Pony

duff’s Garage

The Know

232 SW Ankeny St. DJ Mark McGuire

412 NE Beech St. DJ Maxamillion

ThurS. Feb. 21

The blue Monk

hawthorne Theatre

Valentine’s

320 SE 2nd Ave. Blow Pony: Double Duchess, Airick X, Just Dave, Stormy Roxx, Fingerbang, Kasio Smashio, MFG Disco, Jay Douglas, Gluve (Blow Pony sixth anniversary)

Star bar

1635 SE 7th Ave. Dover Weinberg Quartet (9 pm); Trio Bravo (6 pm)

31 NW 1st Ave. Mission Trance: Randall Glenn, Darrius, DJ Zoxy, DJ Timmy, DJ Gotek

branx

350 W Burnside St. Counterfeit Cash, DJ Tennessee (Johnny Cash tribute show)

3341 SE Belmont St. Portland Jazz Festival: Kerry Politzer Quartet, MS Quartet

The whiskey bar

Tiga

421 SE Grand Ave. Event Horizon: DJs Straylight, Backlash

2929 SE Powell Blvd. Nick Sweet

Shaker and Vine

421 SE Grand Ave. Skullfuck with DJ Horrid

beech Street Parlor

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Carrie Rodriguez

The Lovecraft

white eagle Saloon

rontoms

800 NW 6th Ave. Portland Jazz Festival: Greta Matassa Trio

Star bar

Mississippi Studios

white eagle Saloon

wilfs restaurant and bar

511 NW Couch St. Tronix: Mike Gong, Bliphop Junkie

3552 N Mississippi Ave. Ancient Egyptian (9 pm); Jordan Whitney (6 pm)

115 NW 5th Ave. Poe and Monroe, The Want Ads, Modern Golem

836 N Russell St. The Hill Dogs, Annie Dang, RH Fulton Trio, Ozrocket (9:30 pm); The Student Loan (4:30 pm)

Ground Kontrol

2026 NE Alberta St. The Matildas, Pacific Pride, Fine Pets, DJ Matt Scaphism

Mississippi Pizza

PCPa antoinette hatfield hall

Vie de boheme

east end

1465 NE Prescott St. Dave Fulton

1530 SE 7th Ave. Kode Bluuz Band (9 pm); Twilight Troubadours with Mitzi Zilka (6 pm)

4144 SE 60th Ave. Cody Weathers

736 SE Grand Ave. Battles & Lamar

The Know

alberta rose Theatre

Torta Landia

wed. Feb. 20

4847 SE Division St. High Flyer Trio (9:30 pm); Saturday Night Drive (7 pm)

1111 SW Broadway Portland Jazz Festival: Geri Allen, Terri Lyne Carrington, Esperanza Spalding

1314 NW Glisan St. Danny Romero

Jade Lounge

Moksha with the MarchFourth Horns

639 SE Morrison St. DJ Jonny Cakes

The Know

The Lovecraft

421 SE Grand Ave. Synthicide: Tom Jones, Erica Jones, Jared White, Luke Buser

Tiga

1465 NE Prescott St. DJs Sunny 1550

Valentine’s

232 SW Ankeny St. DJ Drew Kelly

Fri. Feb. 22 beech Street Parlor

412 NE Beech St. Ellen & Jonas, KM Fizzy

branx

320 SE 2nd Ave. Ott & the All Seing I

CC Slaughters

219 NW Davis St. Sound Glitter with DJ Peter Calandra

Club 21

2035 NE Glisan St. DJ AM Gold

dig a Pony

736 SE Grand Ave. Cooky Parker (late set); Icarus (early set)

Goodfoot Lounge 2845 SE Stark St. Soul Stew with DJ Aquaman

Ground Kontrol

511 NW Couch St. DJ Notaz

holocene

1001 SE Morrison St. Snap!: Dr. Adam, Colin Jones, Freaky Outty

511 NW Couch St. Roxy’s Ego Hour 421 SE Grand Ave. DJ Maxamillion

The whiskey bar

31 NW 1st Ave. Dirty Loud, Evan Alexander, Benny Rox

Valentine’s

232 SW Ankeny St. New Dadz, Consequences Party

Sun. Feb. 24 dig a Pony

736 SE Grand Ave. New Jack City

Someday Lounge 125 NW 5th Ave. Hive

Star bar

639 SE Morrison St. DJ Joey Prude

Mon. Feb. 25 beech Street Parlor 412 NE Beech St. DJ Bad Wizard

dig a Pony

736 SE Grand Ave. Sam FM

Slabtown

1033 NW 16th Ave. DJ Trish Dish, Joyride, Senseone

Tiga

1465 NE Prescott St. DJ Old Frontier

TueS. Feb. 26 ash Street Saloon

225 SW Ash St. Phreak: Peak Indicator, Fukemup, Ubercake, Spazmunkee

CC Slaughters

219 NW Davis St. Girltopia with DJ Alicious

dig a Pony

736 SE Grand Ave. Freaky Outty

Star bar

639 SE Morrison St. DJ Smooth Hopperator

The Lovecraft

421 SE Grand Ave. DJ Boything

Tiga

1465 NE Prescott St. DJ Hornet Leg

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Willamette Week FEBRUARY 20, 2013 wweek.com

Tickets: www.whitebird.org

feb. 20–26

= WW Pick. Highly recommended. Most prices listed are for advance ticket sales. At-the-door increases and so-called convenience charges may apply, so it’s best to call ahead. Editor: REBECCA JACOBSON. Theater: REBECCA JACOBSON (rjacobson@ wweek.com). Classical: BRETT CAMPBELL (bcampbell@wweek.com). Dance: HEATHER WISNER (dance@wweek.com). TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit information at least two weeks in advance to: rjacobson@wweek.com.

THEATER 25 Questions for a Jewish Mother

As Wendy Westerwelle tells it, Jewish mothers would make great drug pushers. “What do you mean you don’t want the crack?” she asks, slackjawed. “I’ve been slaving over the stove cooking crystal meth all day!” This sort of humor—simultaneously incisive and borderline outlandish— characterizes much of 25 Questions for a Jewish Mother, based on more than 50 interviews and co-written by comedian Judy Gold and playwright Kate Moira Ryan. Gold performed 25 Questions as a solo act, but at Triangle Productions it’s been reimagined as a two-woman show. Ritah Parrish plays Gold, and the throatyvoiced Westerwelle, with the help of an endless succession of hats and scarves (including a sequined newsboy cap, a red crushed-velvet cloche and a glittery leopard-print scarf), plays the various Jewish mothers. It’s a mostly smooth conceit, with Parrish delivering her personal narrative directly to the audience—in a few affecting moments, her character grapples with whether to tell Orthodox interviewees that she’s gay—and Westerwelle reveling in her own scenery chewing. Some of Westerwelle’s impersonations are more effective than others: She produces laughs while defending her interference in her children’s romantic lives, but her outsize persona drowns the more dramatic vignettes. Parrish, too, is more comfortable in the comic moments, which makes for a show with little dramatic payoff but many a lighthearted crack. REBECCA JACOBSON. Sanctuary at Sandy Plaza, 1785 NE Sandy Blvd., 239-5919. 7:30 pm Thursdays-Saturdays, 2 pm Sundays through Feb. 24. $15-$35.

Antony and Cleopatra

Northwest Classical Theatre Company stages Shakespeare’s tragic romance. Shoe Box Theater, 2110 SE 10th Ave., 971-244-3740. 7:30 pm ThursdaysSaturdays, 2 pm Sundays through March 10. $18-$20.

Bill W. and Dr. Bob

CoHo Productions presents Samuel Shem and Janet Surrey’s play about the two men who founded Alcoholics Anonymous. The CoHo Theater, 2257 NW Raleigh St., 715-1114. 7:30 pm Thursdays-Saturdays, 2 pm Sundays through March 30. $20-$25.

The Box Marked Black

When completing college applications, Damaris Webb identified her race as “other.” This label also applies to her solo show, which fuses dance, sock puppetry and metafictional storytelling. In the absence of easy description, “delightful” will have to do. In a quick hour, Webb addresses the muddy topic of diversity with grace and dexterity. Even more commendable, she avoids diatribe. A simple chest is the entire set, but Webb traverses states with her Baptist grandparents on their move to Oregon. She travels to South Africa and a Minnesota bathhouse. She weathers discrimination and Thanksgiving dinners, all the while drawing out details to transport the audience as well. We hear the gum-smacking stylists at her Dominican salon in Portland and the buzz of lakeside mosquitoes. But The Box Marked Black doesn’t follow a traditional narrative arc. While bouts of interpretive dance at first seem confused, they serve to break up what might otherwise plod. Puppets, too, provoke skepticism, but Webb’s mini re-enactments of the television miniseries Roots are well placed. The weirdness is compelling enough that by the time Little House on the Prairie, Roots and Barack Obama share the stage, it’s charming. ENID

SPITZ. Ethos/IFCC, 5340 N Interstate Ave., 283-8467. 7:30 pm Fridays and Sundays, 3 pm and 7:30 pm Saturdays through Feb. 24. $10-$15.

The Cemetery Club

Magenta Theater stages Ivan Menchell’s comedy about three Jewish widows. Magenta Theater, 606 Main St., Vancouver, 360-635-4358. Showtimes vary; see magentatheater. com for details. $12-$15.

Coming Soon to a Theater Near You

The No Social Life Theatre Company, recently transplanted from Chicago, presents its first show in Portland, a dark comedy about a starryeyed screenwriter seeking success in Hollywood. The No Social Life Theatre Company, 4038 N Mississippi Ave., 323-404-6274. 8 pm FridaysSaturdays, 7 pm Sundays through March 10. $15.

The Great American Trailer Park Musical Really explains itself, doesn’t it? Stumptown Stages presents David Nehls and Betsy Kelso’s country- and blues-heavy musical. PCPA Brunish Theatre, 1111 SW Broadway, 946-7272. 7:30 pm Thursdays-Saturdays, 2 pm Sundays through March 10. $15-$30.

How the Other Half Loves

HART Theatre presents Alan Ayckbourn’s play about three couples, each from a different British social class. HART Theatre, 185 SE Washington St., 693-7815. 7:30 pm Fridays-Saturdays, 2 pm Sundays through March 3. $10-$14.

I Love You, You’re Perfect, Now Change Broadway Rose presents the popular musical revue, composed of vignettes about dating, love and relationships. Broadway Rose New Stage Theatre, 12850 SW Grant Ave., Tigard, 6205262. 7:30 pm Thursdays-Saturdays, 2 pm Sundays and most Saturdays through Feb. 24. $20-$40.

La Celestina

[NEW REVIEW] La Celestina, Raquel Carrió’s contemporary abbreviation of a 15th-century Spanish novel, tells the story of two wealthy youths who misplace their trust in their servants and in an old witch/pimp/matchmaker named Celestina. Strange as it may be, in the 21st century, to see the nobility praised as innocent and their serfs acting as petty conspirators, that is the thesis of both the original and the adaptation. Under director Christy Drogosch, the Miracle Theatre cast is led by Bibiana Lorenzo Johnston as a careworn Celestina, who interrupts her eerie stare with humorous interjections of “I am old.” Carlos Alexis Cruz reads lines from the original text and mocks the characters during his narrative interludes as a clownlike Trovador. Performed in Spanish with English supertitles, La Celestina provokes plenty of mild giggling, though darkly augural dream sequences run a little long. The production treats tragedy lightly, and its powerful themes—egotism, vanity and greed—remain in the background despite the Trovador’s attempts to highlight them. Perhaps his words at La Celestina’s close are enough. “I beg you to lament, my dear friends, their tragic end.” Lament, but keep laughing. MITCH LILLIE. Miracle Theatre, 525 SE Stark St., 236-7253. 7:30 pm Thursdays, 8 pm FridaysSaturdays, 2 pm Sundays through March 2. $15-$30.

Macbeth

[NEW REVIEW] Post Five Theatre inaugurates its new black-box space with a lusty version of Shakespeare’s bloodiest play, Macbeth. Ty Boice, Post Five’s artistic director, plays the murderous thane with a brooding masculinity and a wardrobe recalling

Marlon Brando in Streetcar Named Desire. Far from “unsexed,” his Lady Macbeth (Cassandra Schwanke) is a full-blown Shakespearean seductress in a black silk robe, and the action verges on voyeurism when the two meet. Fake blood galore, knife fights and combat boots further update the Scottish monarchy, but the cuts to Shakespeare’s text are unobtrusive and keep the spirit loyal. The cast, especially Nathan Dunkin as Banquo, captures Shakespeare’s dark world with intensity rather than melodrama. Actors weave through the audience to make their entrances into the small space, which lends the production a refreshing intimacy. (But watch your toes and elbows.) ENID SPITZ. Milepost 5, 850 NE 81st Ave., 971-2588584. 7 pm Fridays-Sundays through March 17. $10 Fridays-Saturdays, Sundays “pay what you can.”

edy spoof of the S&M novel should do the trick. Aladdin Theater, 3017 SE Milwaukie Ave., 234-9694. 8 pm Wednesday-Sunday, Feb. 20-24. $29.50-$39.50. 21+.

Three Days of Rain

Defunkt Theatre presents Richard Greenberg’s Pulitzer-nominated drama, about a troubled son investigating the life of his father. The Back Door Theater, 4319 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 481-2960. 8 pm Thursdays-Sundays (no show Feb. 24) through March 23. $15-$25 Fridays-Saturdays, “pay what you can” Thursdays and Sundays.

Venus in Fur

Fifty Shades of Grey reduced sadomasochism to handcuffs and spanking. Venus in Fur—while not devoid of dog collars and riding crops—throws into question such simple ideas of control and compliance. In David Ives’ work, in a jagged but entertaining Portland Center Stage production directed by Nancy Keystone, the relationship between domination and submission is an erotic power play that revels in its ambiguous stakes. Thomas (David Barlow) is a playwright-director who has adapted Leopold von

CONT. on page 42

REVIEW GARy NORMAN

PERFORMANCE

Red Herring

[NEW REVIEW] The title of Red Herring is—surprise!—a red herring. The play’s murder is no mystery whatsoever after the first five minutes, and the only complicated procedural on display is in the vaudevillian slapstick of the dialogue. “Why are you drinking vodka with a spoon?” asks one character. “Because,” comes the Russianinflected response, “when I drink with fork it spills on lap.” Herring is an enjoyably farcical romantic comedy disguised as a hard-boiled detective farce and, like a lot of young lovers, it’s fast, loose and a bit thin. The play wraps three star-crossed pairs—a lady detective and a G-man, a spy’s wife and an unwilling spy, Joe McCarthy’s daughter and a free-thinking physicist—into a paper-thin espionage plot that’s mostly an excuse to enact a 1940s-style fasttalkie full of whippet-quick banter and PG-rated sexual innuendo. This means the play is carried mostly by its winking wits and the hurtling speed of Christopher Liam Moore’s stage direction—truly, one of the most important characters in the play is a Murphy bed. While the entire cast performs its gymnastics admirably, the standout is Michael Mendelson as the sad Russian fisherman Andrei Borchevsky, who infuses his comedic role with genuine soulfulness. The wind does go out of the play’s sails in the final scene, but it still has more than enough momentum to drift across the finish line. Not to mention I laughed out loud more often than at any Portland production in recent memory. MATTHEW KORFHAGE. Artists Repertory Theatre, 1515 SW Morrison St., 241-1278. 7:30 pm Wednesdays-Sundays, 2 pm Sundays through March 17. $25-$50.

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead

The students of Portland Actors Conservatory present Tom Stoppard’s classic absurdist work. Portland Actors Conservatory, 1436 SW Montgomery St., 274-1717. 7:30 pm ThursdaysSaturdays, 2 pm Sundays through Feb. 24. $10-$25.

Seussical

This production by Northwest Children’s Theater cavorts through Dr. Seuss’ tales. NW Neighborhood Cultural Center, 1819 NW Everett St., 222-4480. Noon and 4 pm SaturdaysSundays through March 3. $13-$22.

Shakespeare Party: The Tempest

More karaoke-style Shakespeare from Surprise Party Theatre, in which attendees are assigned parts and given scripts at the door. Tonight’s installment is appropriately cruisethemed, so don your best Hawaiian t-shirt and pre-game with a mai tai or two. Jack London Bar, 529 SW 4th Ave., 503-228-7605. 7:30 pm Thursday, Feb. 21. Free, $5 suggested donation.

Shiver

Corrib Theatre, a new company dedicated to Irish theatre, presents a staged reading of Declan Hughes’ portrait of two couples just before the burst of the dot-com bubble. BodyVox Dance Center, 1201 NW 17th Ave., 2290627. 8 pm Mondays, Feb. 25 and March 4. Free, donation requested.

Spank! The Fifty Shades Parody

If the Heathman Hotel tours weren’t enough for you, this musical-com-

stranger Danger: andy Lee-Hillstrom and nathan Berl.

THE VELVET SKY (THEATRE VERTIGO) Bethany Palmer hasn’t slept in 13 years, not since her son Andrew was born. Fearing a ghoulish Sandman she believes is out to steal Andrew’s eyes, she stays up all night nervously knitting sweaters and tremulously singing lullabies. When her husband, Warren—a cop who insists he “can’t be married to a wraith”—absconds with Andrew to New York City, Bethany follows them in her plaid pajamas. As she frantically explains to a dopey bookstore owner before holding up his shop with a plastic gun, “I’m a patchwork woman, a crazy quilt.” The same could be said of Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa’s nightmarish fairy tale of a play. There is much of this quilt to like: the bursts of dark comedy, the unraveling moral landscape, the improbably adult wishes of young Andrew, the hallucinatory blurring of dream and reality. But Aguirre-Sacasa’s script is also frustratingly intent on spelling out its sensationalistic warnings from the beginning. On the bus to New York, Bethany (Karen Wennstrom) meets a seemingly ditzy woman (admirably underplayed by Beth Thompson) who delivers the ultimate fearinstilling message: “Kids are never safe,” she intones somberly. The Velvet Sky goes on to bludgeon that message home, as Andrew runs away from his father (Tom Mounsey) to explore New York’s underbelly. Still, director Jane Bement Geesman and her Theatre Vertigo cast and crew manage to treat this heavy-handed excursion with vigor. Eerie sound design and a canny set—triangular prisms that rotate to represent urinals at Port Authority, cinema marquees and deli windows—create a rich atmosphere as Andrew meets a series of shady characters played by Andy Lee-Hillstrom. Rather than portraying these figures as onedimensional perverts, the excellent Lee-Hillstrom imbues them with shades of moral ambiguity. He’s one of Portland’s best young actors. The rest of the cast chomps into the material with similar energy, from Mario Calcagno’s cop from Queens to Thompson’s overeager museum employee. As Andrew, whose preternaturally mature interests include clubbing and attending NC-17 movies, teenage actor Nathan Berl balances innocent inquisitiveness with growing anxiety. The nightclub scene is a highlight: It’s a madcap triptych, with Berl glow-sticking on one side, two actors grooving enthusiastically on the other and Wennstrom flailing in the middle. But just when it seems the play has dropped enough hints to conclude with appealing mystery, it jackknifes into lurid overexplanation. If this is what happens when the characters wake up and see the truth, I’d rather their hallucinations continue. REBECCA JACOBSON.

Sweet dreams ain’t made of these.

see it: The Velvet Sky is at Theater! Theatre!, 3430 SE Belmont St., 306-0870. 8 pm Thursdays-Saturdays through March 16. $15 FridaysSaturdays, “pay what you want” Thursdays. Willamette Week FEBRUARY 20, 2013 wweek.com

win a pair of tickets to

feb. 22 nd @ the roseland

FEB. 20–26

Sacher-Masoch’s 1870 novella about a man who dreams of being enslaved by a woman, and as Venus in Fur begins he’s just endured a disastrous string of auditions. But as he calls his fiancee to snivel about those 35 inept actresses, into the dingy rehearsal room blows Vanda (Ginny Myers Lee), swearing about the perverts on the subway. Vanda may have come dressed in spike heels and leather bustier (which she’ll later unzip with a very funny “Geronimo!”), but on first glance she’s not so different from the 35 previous ninnies. That quickly changes, though, as she cajoles Thomas into letting her audition. Lee, with impressive control, transitions between more than two roles: In addition to modern-day Vanda, a ditzy motor mouth, and 19th-century Vanda, a haughty aristocrat, there’s another Vanda who cites Greek mythology and dips into startling psychosexual insights. Lee flings herself into these rapidly shifting guises, and she’s hilarious to boot—in the show’s comedic highlight, Vanda improvises a scene as a German-accented Venus, whispering “I’ll be back” as if she’s Schwarzenegger. Opposite this swirling tempest, Barlow falters. As his character is alternately flattered and berated, Barlow’s default response is to widen his eyes and gape at Vanda like a startled puppy. Best, perhaps, to turn attention to Ives’ sizzling script, a fiercer whip than E.L. James could ever hope to crack. REBECCA JACOBSON. Gerding Theater, 128 NW 11th Ave., 445-3700. 7:30 pm Tuesdays-Saturdays and most Sundays, 2 pm Saturdays-Sundays, noon Thursdays through March 10. $25-$54.

War Horse Go to wweek.com/promotions

The touring production, about the friendship between a boy and his horse during World War I, gallops to Portland. Keller Auditorium, 222 SW Clay St., 800-745-3000. 7:30 pm Tuesday-Saturday, 2 pm Saturday, 1 pm and 6:30 pm Sunday, Feb. 26-March 3. $25-$95.

Weekend at Bernie’s

Another cinematic cult classic adapted for the stage: In this 1989 screwball comedy, two loser businessmen discover their boss has been murdered, and they pretend he’s still alive. Funhouse Lounge, 2432 SE 11th Ave. 8 pm ThursdaysSundays through March 3. 10 pm Saturday, March 2. $15-$18.

The Liberators

The talented improv artists return to the stage, bringing with them Administration, a new group they’ve assembled and coached. Brody Theater, 16 NW Broadway, 224-2227. 7:30 pm Saturday, Feb. 23. $12-$15.

CLASSICAL Cascadia Composers, Resonance Ensemble

A trio of organists—Tom Curry, Greg Homza, Corina Hughes— joins one of the Northwest’s ﬁnest choirs to perform homegrown music by Oregon composers, including former PSU prof Tomas Svoboda, current PSU prof Bonnie Miksch, Lewis & Clark prof Michael Johanson, jazzman Art Resnick and more. Marylhurst University, 17600 Highway 43, 699-1814. 3 pm Sunday, Feb. 24. $10-$20, kids under 12 free.

Choral Arts Ensemble

The choir sings music that goes with images, including choruses from operas by Aaron Copland, Verdi, Wagner and more. St. Andrew’s Presbyterian Church, 3228 SW Sunset Blvd., 488-3834. 7:30 pm Saturday, 3 pm Sunday, Feb. 23-24. $12-$18.

East Asian Music

Competitive improv, with two teams battling for stage time. Curious Comedy, 5225 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 477-9477. 10 pm every ﬁrst and third Friday. $5.

Jim Breuer

Greg Lief

Cinema Curiouso

Movie-themed sketch comedy. Curious Comedy, 5225 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 477-9477. 8 pm Fridays-Saturdays through March 9. $12-$15.

Friday Night Fights

Since making his name on Saturday Night Live, Breuer has gone on to appear in numerous ﬁlms (most notably Half Baked) and host several Comedy Central specials. Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9th Ave., 888643-8669. 8 pm Thursday, 7:30 pm and 10 pm Friday-Saturday, Feb. 21-23. $25-$35.

Portland Secrets

Sleep with your buddy’s girlfriend? Kill your roommate’s cat? Secrets come to life onstage. Brody Theater, 16 NW Broadway, 224-2227. 9:30 pm Saturdays through Feb. 23. $8.

Spectravagasm 2

Post Five Theatre presents a fresh round of Portland-speciﬁc sketch comedy, this time with a futuristic spin. Milepost 5, 850 NE 81st Ave., 971-258-8584. 10:30 pm FridaysSaturdays through March 16. “Pay what you can,” $10 suggested.

Willamette Week FEBRUARY 20, 2013 wweek.com

RED HERRING

The ﬁrst night of this free series brings a trio of distinguished musicians from South Korea’s Chonnam National University. Abetted by PSU’s own piano prof, Julia Hwakyu Lee, pianist Hyun Ok Moon and gayageum (traditional Korean plucked string instrument) virtuoso Ai-Soon Seong will play works by visiting composer Hyun Su Chung, including two world premieres. On Friday, Seong will be joined by two more expert Asian zithermeisters, guzheng (spellbinding Chinese zither) artist Ruisi Li and Oregon’s own koto (Japanese zither) virtuosa, Mitsuki Dazai. Lincoln Hall, Portland State University, 1620 SW Park Ave., 725-3307. 7:30 pm Thursday-Friday, Feb. 22-23. Free.

COMEDY & VARIETY

OWEN CAREY

PERFORMANCE

In a beneﬁt for Friends of the Columbia Gorge, the pianist plays sonatas by Beethoven and works by Debussy and Chopin. Classic Pianos, 3003 SE Milwaukie Ave., 241-3762. 7 pm Saturday, Feb. 23. $10-$15.

Mousai Remix

The string quartet comprising Oregon Symphony regulars raises funds to sponsor a young string quartet for a summer music camp by performing a ﬁne program of quartets by Mendelssohn and Prokoﬁev. Show up at 6:30 and you can hear some of last year’s summer camp alumni play a movement of a Beethoven symphony. Ivories Jazz Lounge and Restaurant, 1435 NW Flanders St., 241-6514. 7 pm Sunday, Feb. 24. Donation.

Oregon Symphony, Stephen Hough

A frequent and popular visitor, one of classical music’s most adven-

turous pianists plays a standard: Franz Liszt’s uber-Romantic Piano Concerto No. 2. The orchestra also plays a sunny Beethoven symphony (No. 2) and Paul Hindemith’s Symphonic Metamorphosis of Themes by Carl Maria von Weber Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, 1037 SW Broadway, 228-1353. 7:30 pm Saturday, Feb. 23 and 8 pm Monday, Feb. 25. $21-$96.

Portland Chamber Orchestra, Susannah Mars

The band plays music from Academy Award-nominated films from the 1940s (Laura) down through The Magnificent Seven, Schindler’s List, Star Trek and James Bond flicks. Some are arranged by legendary Portland conductor and clarinetist Norman Leyden. A fundraising benefit for the orchestra with a silent auction precedes the concert at 5:30 pm, with $100 tickets including concert admission and food. Friday’s concert is at the Village Baptist Church (330 SW Murray Blvd., Beaverton). Scottish Rite Center, 1512 SW Morrison St., 771.3250. 7:30 pm Friday-Saturday, Feb. 22-23. $15-$35.

Portland State University Symphony and Choirs

Ken Selden leads the school’s top players and singers in Mozart’s magniﬁcent, searing Requiem and a rarity by 20th-century English composer Ralph Vaughan Williams, Five Variants of Dives and Lazarus. First United Methodist Church, 1838 SW Jeﬀerson St., 725.3307. 7:30 pm Friday, Feb. 22 and 4 pm Sunday, Feb. 24. $7-$15.

DANCE Club Bellydance

The Bellydance Superstars, Belly Dance Soulﬁre, Apsara, Znama and Scarlet Thistle perform. Minors admitted with parent or guardian. Alberta Rose Theatre, 3000 NE Alberta St., 719-6055. 7 pm Sunday, Feb. 24. $20-$25.

Geeklesque Gets Weird

Critical Hit Burlesque, the producers of Geeklesque, did not invent Weird Al Burlesque. That dubious honor belongs to San Francisco performer Pickles Kintaro, who brings this nude tribute to the accordion-toting pop parodist north. The Mad Marquis hosts two showings featuring the usual Portland suspects sharing the stage with Kintaro and her cohorts. Star Theater, 13 NW 6th Ave. 7:30 pm and 11 pm Saturday, Feb. 23. $15$40. 21+.

The BodyVox Ball: Crystal Edition

Contemporary dance company BodyVox hosts a dining, dancing, black-tie beneﬁt. BodyVox Dance Center, 1201 NW 17th Ave., 229-0627. 5:30 pm Saturday, Feb. 23. $150$250.

For more Performance listings, visit

VISUAL ARTS

feb. 20–26

= WW Pick. Highly recommended. By RichaRd SpeeR. TO Be cONSideRed FOR LiSTiNGS, submit show information—including opening and closing dates, gallery address and phone number—at least two weeks in advance to: Visual arts, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., portland, OR 97210. email: rspeer@wweek.com.

galvanic by micHael kessler

Aqua: Michael Kessler

Santa Fe-based painter Michael Kessler triumphs with a suite of virtuosic works in Butters Gallery’s group show, Aqua. he moves away from the drab desert tones that dominated his last solo show at Butters in favor of inspired combinations of vibrant blues and mint greens, which alternately pique and soothe the eye. Kessler’s work has always been about juxtaposition, mixing organic and geometric motifs, but for this outing he advances that strategy by using framing devices. The painting Galvanic, which surrounds an invigorating blue and green mash-up with creamy ecru, is one of his most challenging and fulfilling pieces in years. Through March 2. Butters Gallery, 520 NW Davis St., second floor, 248-9378.

Chris Fraser: In Passing

if you haven’t seen chris Fraser’s installation In Passing, run, don’t walk, to check out what is certain to be one of 2013’s most crowd-pleasing, trippy and sheer fucking gorgeous shows. The San Francisco-based artist worked with curator-in-residence Josephine Zarkovich to create an immersive experience that viewers walk through. There’s a long, three-sided corridor on the gallery’s perimeter, with vertical and diagonal slots that spray prisms of colored light onto the interior walls. When you come to the hallway’s corners, the light plays tricks with your eyes, creating a foggy atmosphere that is pure optical illusion. it’s one part James Turrell, one part 2001: A Space Odyssey. You simply have to see it. Through March 3. Disjecta, 8371 N Interstate Ave., 286-9449.

Gary Boswell

Gary Boswell’s collages and drawings are all over the place, but his Automatic Painting series might be the best artwork up in portland this month. in suave tones of black, white and gray, he allows the materials in his tempera monoprints to seep, weep and slide around the picture plane. The resulting forms resemble stalactites, tendriled plants and ultrasound imagery. Glamorous and vaguely sinister, they exude confidence and polish. Through March 3. Nine Gallery, 122 NW 8th Ave., 227-7114.

Henk Pander: The Tooth of Time

henk pander is a venerated Northwest painter; he’s been around a long time and has work in some important collections. Unfortunately, he’s just not very good. The hokey burning ship in The Sea and the Rush album coverworthy futurist dystopia titled Iron Fist (listed for sale at a whopping $70,000 apiece) are notable for their agreeably creamy impasto and their disagreeably cartoonish rendering. pander does not possess the technique necessary for high realism, so he relies on the crutch of allegory. This would be a saving grace if his allegories aspired beyond the symbolism

found in bad comic books. Through March 2. Laura Russo Gallery, 805 NW 21st Ave., 226-2754.

Pedro Farias-Nordi

With tenderness and empathy, dominican photographer pedro Farias-Nardi documents the faces and lives of haitian migrant workers in the dominican Republic. his black-and-white Cold Trade series photojournalistically chronicles workers as they hoist and heave ginormous blocks of ice. another body of work, El Otro, shows workers’ faces in shallowfocus close-up. They glow with soft luminescence and powerful saturation. each face tells a story through crags and scars, wrinkles and blemishes. This artist has a keen eye and a big heart. Through March 3. Blue Sky Gallery, 122 NW 8th Ave., 225-0210.

Peter Moore: Controversy and Conversation

Renowned designer peter Moore aims for piquant political commentary in Controversy and Conversation, but his reach exceeds his grasp. This selection of untitled prints depends on dubious visual puns tied to world events. There is a portrait of iranian president Mahmoud ahmadinejad juxtaposed with a handful of mixed nuts; a U.S. dollar sign made out of barbed wire, titled Money Trap; a drop of crude oil, half black and half blood red, titled Price Per Gallon; and a black silhouette connected with a screw to a red silhouette, titled Screwed Together. Moore appears to be riffing on a party line that preaches to the progressive choir, but these unremarkably printed works on paper have a bark that’s worse than their bite. Then again, their bark is pretty lame, too. Through Feb. 22. Gallery Homeland, 2505 SE 11th Ave., 819-9656.

Portland as Fuck

how can you not like a show called Portland as Fuck? This group exhibition is loosely themed around the reasons we love our fair city of stumps. Fortunately, the artists didn’t take the assignment too literally; this is no Portlandia retread, but rather an essence-isolating distillation of sometimes oblique references. among the highlights are Ryan Bubnis’ abstracted mountains and rivers; Brett Superstar’s witty wool wall sculpture of paul Bunyan; and Timothy Karpinski’s multicolored laurel wreath. and then there is Tripper dungan’s depiction of a beer-swilling monkey on roller skates. Viewers will scratch their heads, say “What the...?” and then smile when the light bulb turns on. Who is that beer-swilling monkey? he is not in our stars, dear Brutus, but in ourselves. Through March 3. Compound Gallery, 107 NW 5th Ave., 796-2733.

For more Visual arts listings, visit Willamette Week FEBRUARY 20, 2013 wweek.com

BOOKS

feb. 20–26

= WW Pick. Highly recommended. By PENELOPE BASS. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit lecture or reading information at least two weeks in advance to: WORDS, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: words@wweek.com. Fax: 243-1115.

THURSDAY, FEB. 21 Transmit Culture

You might be surprised to learn there’s more to book publishing than marketing softcore porn. PSU’s publishing program has teamed with Ooligan Press for a series of lectures to illuminate the process titled “Transmit Culture: A Series of Conversations About Publishing.” For the first conversation, former McSweeney’s managing editor Eli Horowitz will be interviewed by author, PSU professor and current McSweeney’s editor Paul Collins. Artists Repertory Theatre, 1515 SW Morrison St., 241-1278. 6:30-9:30 pm. Free.

Annual Steinhardt Lecture

It’s no secret the country is in an economic crisis. But whether you’ve stockpiled canned goods or completely ignored the news for the past year, there is something to be learned from economics professor (and research director at the Center for Full Employment and Price Stability) Dr. Randall Wray. His talk “Fiscal Cliffs, Debt Limits and Unsustainable Deficits: Can the U.S. Really Run Out of Money?” is sure to make you feel enlightened and/or terrified. Lewis & Clark College, 0615 SW Palatine Road, 768-7000. 7:30 pm. Free.

The Last Voyageur

Portland native Amos Burg was the first person to navigate the Snake and Columbia rivers by canoe. In 1938, he was the first to run the Colorado River in a rubber raft, and is the only known person to have navigated all major Western rivers from source to mouth. Vince Welch’s newest biography, The Last Voyageur: Amos Burg and the Rivers of the West, explores the life of the badass boatman. Powell’s on Hawthorne, 3723 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 228-4651. 7:30 pm. Free.

FRIDAY, FEB. 22 Wizard World Portland Comic Con

Regardless of your level of geekdom, everyone loves a good comic con. And with special appearances by the likes of Stan Lee, Bruce Campbell, Norman Reedus (The Walking Dead) and a slew of others, the Portland Comic Con is sure to satisfy your inner nerd. So put on your most heroic and/or sluttiest costume, grab some felt pens and get ready to stand in some really weird lines. Oregon Convention Center, 777 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 235-7575. 3-8 pm Friday, 10 am-7 pm Saturday, 10 am-5 pm Sunday, Feb. 22-24. $30-$60.

Paul Levy

Drawing from Jungian psychology, shamanism, alchemy and spiritual wisdom, author Paul Levy explores a “psychospiritual disease of the soul,” or what Native Americans have called “wetiko,” in his newest book, Dispelling Wetiko: Breaking the Curse of Evil. Cure that mental herpes and end the madness. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 228-4651. 7:30 pm. Free.

SUNDAY, FEB. 24 90-Second Newbery Film Festival

Author James Kennedy will present video submissions that compress the story of a Newbery award-winning book into 90 seconds. The screening will feature “best of the best” videos from around the country, along with cabaret-style entertainment between films. Central Library,

Willamette Week FEBRUARY 20, 2013 wweek.com

801 SW 10th Ave., 988-5123. 12:30-2 pm and 3-4:30 pm. Free, tickets required.

Matthew Dickman and Joseph Millar Prolific Portland poet Matthew Dickman (All-American Poem, Mayakovsky’s Revolver) will take the stage along with visiting North Carolina poet Joseph Millar (Blue Rust, Fortune) as part of the Mountain Writers series. TaborSpace, 5441 SE Belmont St. 7 pm. $5, free for students.

TUESDAY, FEB. 26 Gretel Ehrlich

Having devoted much of her life to the study of Japanese art and poetry, Gretel Ehrlich returned to the earthquake- and tsunami-devastated coast of Japan to create an account of people’s lives through journalistic reporting and poetic observation. The resulting book, Facing the Wave, pays homage to the resilience of the Japanese culture. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 228-4651. 7:30 pm. Free.

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REVIEW

ANGÉLICA GORODISCHER, TRAFALGAR Literature is the natural home of the impossible. But far too often the impossible is spurned in favor of the prosaic, as if truth dressed itself only in flannel. Argentine fiction, from Borges to Cortázar to Puig, has never had this problem. Its fiction is already a foreign world, even to itself; when it visits other worlds, yet stranger places, it Oregonians cry for you, paradoxically finds itself right Argentina. at home. But until recently, the leisurely, fantastical fictions of Argentine writer Angélica Gorodischer have remained all too foreign to an English-speaking audience. Though she’s been writing since the 1970s, only two of her books have been translated—both in Oregon. Her story cycle Kalpa Imperial was translated by Portland writer Ursula K. Le Guin in 2003. This year, another book of linked stories, Trafalgar, was translated by University of Oregon Spanish professor Amalia Gladhart. The book is a thing of digression and casual wonderment. Each story is an oft-interrupted tale told by Trafalgar Medrano—named after the decisive defeat of the Spanish and Napoleonic navies—of his visits to foreign worlds where: (a) The thousand virgins (who aren’t virgins) exert tyrannical control over a poor populace that wants only to become them. (b) Ferdinand and Isabella still reign, in a court troubled by the Inquisition. (c) The dead hang around to make life impossible for the living. (d) All of time exists at once as a manifold, touching down at different points as one sleeps. (e) Etc. But these stories are not set in some unknowable future; Trafalgar spins his yarns at the Jockey Club in Rosario, Argentina, in 1979. No one knows whether he has indeed traveled to the stars and seduced alien women (he’s a bit of a cad). No one knows if he is a man of spectacular facility or simply a spectacular liar. It also doesn’t matter: Gorodischer’s mix of unlikely precision and patiently dreamy excursiveness makes a cup of coffee seem ethereal while an alien sun becomes dully quotidian. Gladhart’s translation elegantly captures this quality in a disorienting mix of the lyric and pedestrian, as in Trafalgar’s description of the world of Veroboar: “When it’s day it seems like night, and when it’s night, you turn on the strongest light you have and you can barely see your hands because the darkness swallows everything.” Like Borges, or Italo Calvino in Invisible Cities, Gorodischer’s fiction exists in a twilight space between literature and fantasy, or makes such distinctions impossible. By the end of the book, the worlds Trafalgar visits no longer seem strange at all. But the outlines of our own familiar world feel much less distinct, our own faces stranger in the mirror. MATTHEW KORFHAGE.

MOVIES

piff COURTESY OF PIFF

LAST WHIFF OF PIFF SAYING GOODBYE TO MURDEROUS TOURISTS AND HORNY PRIESTS.

BY WW Sta f f

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The Portland International Film Festival has aged quickly. Two short weeks ago, desperate young people fought for their identity. Last week, PIFF endured the slow burn of middle age. What greets us in the festival’s final days? Brutal torture, religious freaks and serial killers. That’s not to say it’s been a uniformly bleak year (when is international cinema ever all that uplifting, anyway?). As we part ways with PIFF 2013, seven WW writers offer their favorite scenes. And make sure to turn to page 46, where you’ll find promising early entries for next year’s festival. One Night A- [CUBA] This film about three Cuban kids trying to defect to the U.S. got a lot of press because its own Cuban stars are now in Florida, trying to defect. But politics aside, the film itself is a vital story of Havana teens revving high in neutral gear, romantically frustrated or confused, lives entirely determined by an inflow of British and American tourists looking for easy sex or cheap luxury. The teens are therefore desperate to escape across 90 miles of ocean to imagined luxury in Miami. Half coming-of-age story, half heist movie, half sauna, One Night is full to brimming. MATTHEW KORFHAGE. WH, 6 pm Wednesday, Feb. 20. LC, 9:15 pm Thursday, Feb. 21. Our Homeland D+ [JAPAN] Mass gymnastics shows, neo-brutalist architecture, Kim Jongun’s perfectly spherical head—is there anything about North Korea that isn’t fascinating? Yes: this film. A sick Japanese-Korean man is given three months to visit his family in Tokyo after 25 years of living in the hermit kingdom. It’s a plot ripe with potential, but so little is explored in this glacially slow-moving story that it’s not just boring but infuriatingly so. Sure, our main protagonist is in a tough spot: With a minder from the fatherland looking over his shoulder the whole time, he can’t speak about his life at home or express any opinion about his new surroundings. So, like us, he just grits his teeth and plods through the entire miserable experience, while family and friends observe quietly and helplessly from the sidelines, mourning what might have been. RUTH BROWN. LC, 6:30 pm Thursday, Feb. 21. C21, 9 pm Saturday, Feb. 23. Paradise: Faith D- [AUSTRIA] “Jesus, it’s so wonderful just to look at you,” coos Anna Maria as she gazes up at a painting of Christ’s smiling visage. “You’re such a handsome man.” Anna Maria is a radiologist by day and masochistic zealot by night who opts to spend her vacation going door-to-door with a 3-foot statue of the Virgin Mary cradled in her arms, fishing for converts. When she’s not out saving lost souls as a part of what she calls “the church’s assault group,” she roams about her claustrophobically sterile home, physically abusing herself in honor of the Lord and casting steely glares at her husband. It’s excruciating to watch, as though director Ulrich Seidl is punishing his audience for a lifetime of sin. EMILY JENSEN. WTC, 6 pm Friday and 3:15 pm Saturday, Feb. 22- 23. Piazza Fontana C+ [ITALY] Following the fatal bombing of a Milan bank in 1969,

police officer Luigi Calabresi finds himself in deep shit when a prime suspect dies during questioning in his office. Director Marco Tullio Giordana reconstructs the confusion and chaos surrounding the bombing and its investigation, and he succeeds in conjuring some classic intrigue through a stony-faced cast and shadowy cinematography. But the sleekness of this long-winded conspiracy drama renders it bland and dull. EMILY JENSEN. WH, 6 pm Friday, Feb. 22. Post Tenebras Lux A- [MEXICO] Mexican auteur Carlos Reygadas’ new film makes no narrative sense. If that’s what you want, look elsewhere immediately. It’s closest relative is Terrence Malick’s Tree of Life, and it likewise aims squarely at transcendence from the fraught territory of the broken-down family. But rather than seeking the source of the universe’s creation, Post Tenebras Lux is a sad, violent meditation on the worm in the apple. Or, in this case, the CGI devil in the kitchen who looks just like the Pink Panther. It’s received a mixed reception after Reygadas’ more focused Silent Light won the Jury Prize at Cannes, but this is a different beast altogether: painful expressionism showcasing nature’s beautiful savagery and the claustrophobia of family. MATTHEW KORFHAGE. C21, 6 pm Wednesday and Friday, Feb. 20 and 22. Sightseers B+ [GREAT BRITAIN] Ben Wheatley’s third film manages the difficult task of combining comedy, romance and horror into an ink-black road-trip comedy. It focuses on a gawky couple (Alice Lowe and Steve Oram, who also scripted) as they travel the English countryside visiting tourist traps (the Pencil Museum is a highlight) and leaving mangled bodies in their wake. Unlike Wheatley’s hit-man horror flick Kill List, Sightseers genre-hops without losing focus on its characters or tone. What could be a cockney Natural Born Killers somehow emerges as a sweet little film about young love. Remove the violence, and Sightseers would be a twee romance. But add the violence— which Wheatley does with relish—and you’ve got a rare oddity that manages to tug at the heartstrings even as its

SIGHTSEERS heroes explode ventricles. AP KRYZA. C21, 6 pm Thursday and 3:15 pm Saturday, Feb. 21 and 23. White Elephant B [ARGENTINA] It’s not often viewers can say they wish a film had less sex and more religion, but a young Belgian priest getting his jollies (yes, even the very-easy-on-the-eyes Jérémie Renier) is easily the least compelling of the many subplots in Pablo Trapero’s White Elephant. In one of Buenos Aires’ worst slums, two men of the cloth struggle tirelessly against drug wars, poverty, bureaucracy and their personal demons. The setting is captivatingly squalid, and it’s a well-paced story that balances high-tension action sequences with some meaty character portrayals. If only more bandwidth were dedicated to superhero priests fighting drug lords and riot cops, rather than making kissy face with the local girls. RUTH BROWN. CM, 8:45 pm Thursday, Feb. 21. C21, 6 pm Saturday, Feb. 23. You Ain’t Seen Nothing Yet B- [FRANCE] Alain Resnais, 90, continues his astonishing run (41 films in 65 years) with a quasi-theatrical, self-conscious contraption that blinks and whirs and weeps but never really gets moving. A veritable pantheon of French acting eminences playing themselves—Michel Piccoli, Mathieu Amalric, Anne Consigny—gather at an abandoned manor house to alternately observe and perform pieces of Jean Anouilh’s 1941 play, Eurydice. Shakespeare said, “All the world’s a stage,” and Resnais seems almost perversely determined to prove him right. Nonetheless, there are moments of charm and levity, including Amalric as a scenery-chewing villain. MARSHALL WALKER LEE. FT, 6 pm Wednesday, Feb. 20. WH, 9 pm Saturday, Feb. 23.

PORTLAND INTERNATIONAL FILM FESTIVAL TICKET OUTLET:

Portland Art Museum’s Mark Building, 1119 SW Park Ave., 276-4310, nwfilm.org. General admission, $11; Art Museum members, students and seniors, $10; children 12 and under, $8; Silver Screen Club memberships from $300.

THEATERS:

C21: Cinema 21, 616 NW 21st Ave; FT: Regal Fox Tower, 846 SW Park Ave.; LC: Regal Lloyd Center, 1510 NE Multnomah St.; WH: Whitsell Auditorium, 1219 SW Park Ave.; WTC: World Trade Center Theater, 121 SW Salmon St.

A EULOGY FOR PIFF 2013: FAVORITE SCENES FROM THIS YEAR’S FESTIVAL. Beyond the Hills Chekhov’s elusive endings haunt us, said Virginia Woolf, because we feel “as if a tune had stopped short without the expected chords to close it.” Romanian director Cristian Mungiu takes a page from Chekhov’s book by refusing to wrap up his stunning Beyond the Hills with any kind of pat conclusion. There are no prizes or punishments to dole out, no appended epilogues. In the final moments, Mungiu returns to the uncertainty— the openness—of life, as the camera pushes in on two mysterious figures, unknown and unknowable, who will smoke and talk and laugh and go on living long after the final frame. MARSHALL WALKER LEE. War Witch After depicting with savage realism the kidnapping of a 12-year-old African girl and her forced training to become a guerrilla warrior, the Canadian film War Witch follows its AK-47-toting protagonist into the jungle, where she discovers an ashen figure that appears to be a statue. Suddenly, it opens its milky-white eyes and screams, “Run!” jackknifing the film from a realistic portrayal of a terrifying war into a phantasmagoria where the young heroine is haunted by the ghosts of the fallen. AP KRYZA. Something in the Air After taking a quiet bedroom reprieve from a wild, drug-fueled party to dwell on old memories, a young woman opens the door to return to the revelry…and is greeted by a backdraft of fire that fills the room. Backlit into silhouette by the raging flame, she leaps from the second story and off the frame, her fate unknown for an hour of this French film. All metaphors aside, it’s perhaps the most beautifully filmed scene I’ve seen in ages. MATTHEW KORFHAGE. Sleep Tight Though the Spanish film Sleep Tight is filled with moments of discomfort and raw tension, it is especially hard

to shake the long sequence in which César—a sociopath bent on torturing a young female tenant of the building he oversees—narrowly avoids getting caught by his prey after falling asleep in her apartment. See if you can decide who to root for as you whiteknuckle your way through these 10 long minutes. ROBERT HAM. Kon Tiki On a wooden raft in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, the possibility of sudden death looms constantly. When the crew’s Peruvian parrot, Lorita, becomes shark chow during an ill-conceived dip in the ocean, the man who loved her most exacts speedy and brutal revenge. Wearing nothing but clingy red undies, he heaves the shark onto the deck with his bare hands and proceeds to straddle its writhing body and stab it repeatedly in the head. Lesson learned: Don’t fuck with a Norwegian man’s pet. EMILY JENSEN. Neighboring Sounds When melancholy João takes pretty Sofia to visit his grandfather’s sugar plantation, the two tiptoe through a moldering movie house. As she pretends to buy a ticket, the gentle sounds of birds and insects are supplanted by Hitchcockian aural horror. We hear the scratchy recording of screams as João and Sofia look out, calmly, from a crumbling window and into the tropical overgrowth. It’s followed perfectly by the next scene’s blood-red waterfall: two startling instances of surrealism in this entrancing Brazilian film. REBECCA JACOBSON. Happy People: A Year in the Taiga The trappers in Werner Herzog’s pastoral documentary about the Russian taiga rely on the assistance of dogs. In the United States, the dogs’ living and working conditions would count as animal cruelty. “Take a look at Zeena,” a silver-bearded man says as he points out a white dog. “He’s a smart-looking one, but he’s stopped working in the taiga. A freeloader, not a real dog anymore.” The trapper looks at the snow at his feet and smiles, either for respite from the sun or out of shame. MITCH LILLIE.

Willamette Week FEBRUARY 20, 2013 wweek.com

MOVIES

piff amy martin

A PIFF AHEAD ALREADY MOURNING THE END OF THE PORTLAND INTERNATIONAL FILM FESTIVAL? WHET YOUR APPETITE WITH EARLY ENTRIES FOR PIFF 2014. BY WW Sta f f

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PIFF is an intense but fleeting thing. It enters our lives for a few weeks and then flits away, leaving us only memories of wrinkled flesh, dead pets and clipped dialogue. But stop living in the past and look ahead: WW writers offer their own submissions for next year’s festival. Année Canines (Dog Years) [FRANCE] A wealthy retiree begins a dog-walking business, only to encounter a sprightly young poodle, awakening longdormant passions and eroticism thought long dead in both. Runtime: 198 mins. The Cordial Life Of Cherry Löfgren [SWEDEN] The sordid worlds of cockfights, international human trafficking, child prostitution and arms dealing come together in this delightful confection about a young girl whose dreams of becoming the world’s greatest chocolatier take her on a whimsical adventure. Runtime: 110 mins. Seeds of Life [UNITED STATES] A fucking documentary about fucking grass farms. Runtime: 344 mins. Unstinting Breasts [TAIWAN] After a pet store loses its lease, two young prostitutes adopt a menagerie of forsaken animals. Runtime: 110 mins. Memories of Yesterday [CANADA] The life of a mild-mannered school-bus driver is turned upside down when he makes a special birthday wish and wakes up to discover he can perfectly recall the day before today. Runtime: 86 mins. The Taste of Miserable [YEMEN] A quarreling family roasts a goat. The goat tastes kind of gamey. Runtime: 181 mins.

symbol of his long-held dream of moving to America from his Naples slum. While searching for it, she suffers a shattering sexual assault. She hides this from her father, who regains his innocence as hers is lost forever. A silent, black-and-white masterpiece. Runtime: 127 mins. Chik and Chavi [GREAT BRITAIN] A group of downtrodden Roma, on the run from authorities who unjustly accuse them of theft and vagrancy, throw a wild and comic wedding party—full of dramatic character revelations—in the scenic Welsh hills. Every single male party member inexplicably shows his penis to the camera. Runtime: 94 mins. Twin Turbo [MEXICO] A documentary about female conjoined-twin racecar drivers. Runtime: 67 mins. Bonitas non est Pessimis esse Meliorem [ANDORRA] Famed experimentalist Rat Freixedo’s startling visual tribute to Andorra’s dual-princedom and burgeoning handicraft industry features no dialogue or human figures. Runtime: 160 mins.

A Night in Sofia [BULGARIA] A coming-of-age story of a young Bulgarian who comes to know himself only in the clothes of his twin sister, Sofia. Shot in real time, from sunset to sunrise, in a single take. Runtime: 529 mins.

I, Remembrancer [GERMANY ] In his directorial debut, 23-year-old German-American Paul Fruehauf takes audiences on a sweeping journey through his past, from his industrial alpine homeland to the Cleveland his mother once knew. Runtime: 108 mins.

The Bowling Ball [ITALY] A young girl, at the cusp of womanhood, loses her father’s bowling ball: the

The Shepherd [HUNGARY ] An aging sheep herder watches over his flock as they graze on a

Willamette Week FEBRUARY 20, 2013 wweek.com

lush hillside. He eventually eats his lunch and takes a nap. Runtime: 330 mins. The Spirit of Forgiveness [FRANCE] Two small boys wrestle with their sexuality and their very existence after finding a bag of marbles in an abandoned building. Runtime: 165 mins. Loose Ends [THAILAND] The chef for a powerful gangster risks life and limb when he falls in love with his employer’s bedridden grandmother. Runtime: 105 mins. The Day Before Boxing Day [CANADA] Follow the travails of one Saskatchewan family as they listen to the events of World War II piped out of their beloved radio. Runtime: 127 mins. Adolescence [BRAZIL] An animated tale of three acneprone teens weathering the myriad challenges of adolescence. Runtime: 117 mins. Old People Fucking [LICHTENSTEIN] Old people fuck. Runtime: 509 mins. Driving on the Left [SOUTH AFRICA] A tour-de-force documentary about Johannesburg’s automotive industry. Runtime: 108 minutes. Meaningful Glances [JAPAN] A bittersweet tragicomedy that compiles hundreds of close-ups of unmoving facial expressions cut with musical crescendos to express many cathartic emotions. Runtime: 120 mins.

Me and My Trench Coat [ITALY ] Vincenzo Bruno, an amateur detective and closeted gay man in Rome, takes on his first big case for nightclub owner Luigi Rizzo—and finally satiates his lust. Claymated. Runtime: 87 mins. Bifocals [POLAND] Based on gripping true events of Agnieszka Kowalski’s career handcrafting eyeglasses, this tribute to growing old documents Kowalski making a pair of glasses for herself, just in time for her 80th birthday. Runtime: 100 mins. Outback Stakehouse [AUSTRALIA] Toni Collette stars as a serial-killing jillaroo who systematically slaughters the entire population of an outback Queensland town with a rusty pair of sheep shears. Based on a true story. Runtime: 180 mins. Pacific Island Ninja [TUVALU] Filmed entirely on a cellphone, this martial-arts comedy stars and is written, funded, directed and produced by a local karate instructor and his students in the first feature-length release from this tiny island nation. Runtime: 60 mins. Scot the Hoople [SCOTLAND] This charming documentary follows the quirky characters of Kilmarnock’s seminal Mott the Hoople cover band during a final reunion tour of the church halls of East Ayrshire. Runtime: 110 mins.

MOVIES

feb. 20–26

= WW Pick. Highly recommended.

JOHN BRAMLEY

Editor: REBECCA JACOBSON. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, send screening information at least two weeks in advance to Screen, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: rjacobson@wweek.com. Fax: 243-1115.

an East German doctor (Nina Hoss) exiled to a small Baltic town because she’d taken a Western German lover, to whom she plans to escape. Though its recounting of Stasi surveillance is uniformly damning, and though the film flirts with cliché the way a sailor flirts with the sea, the film’s psychology is personal, not schematic. In certain ways, it is a spiritual heir to the landmark Divided Heaven of the 1960s: conflicted, anomie-riddled, a world of no villains or heroes but rather merely occasional glimpses of decency amid unremitting bleakness. MATTHEW KORFHAGE. Living Room Theaters.

Beautiful Creatures

BEAUTIFUL CREATURES

56 Up

A 56 Up is the latest in Michael

Apted’s visionary, often-depressing series that has documented the lives of 14 disparate Britons, in seven-year installments, since they were 7 years old in 1964. For those who’ve not watched all the previous installments, 56 Up is largely of anthropological or cultural interest; for those who have, there’s a wistful sadness to the affair. Still, it’s one of the great journeys in documentary film; it’s unlikely there will be another one like it. MATTHEW KORFHAGE. Living Room Theaters.

Alien Boy: The Life and Death of James Chasse

A Heartbreaking and incendiary in equal measures, Portland filmmaker Brian Lindstrom’s documentary plays out like a horror film and leaves you absolutely breathless. The story is one familiar to most Portlanders: In 2006, James Chasse, crippled by schizophrenia but by all accounts harmless, was beaten by Portland police, died in custody and was the subject of a massive cover-up that portrayed him as a monster. Lindstrom’s film pieces together eyewitness accounts and courtroom footage to forge an amazing piece of documentary journalism that’s equally focused on the procedural account of Chasse’s death and the people whose lives it affected. Everybody except the officers whose fists sealed Chasse’s fate offer their remembrances, though officers Kyle Nice, Bret Barton and Christopher Humphreys do appear in archival footage of their trial (each refused to be interviewed). But what really hammers Alien Boy home is not how he died but how he lived. After Chasse was slain, police falsely labeled him a transient junkie. Lindstrom’s film dives deeply into the life of a man who touched countless lives through the pioneering position he held in Portland’s early punk-rock scene. Ex-girlfriends, family members, musicians, artists and parishioners from his church all tell of a deeply troubled but caring man whose mental despair robbed him of peace. This human setup makes Alien Boy’s outcome all the more difficult, and Humphreys’ smug apathy and on-record lies all the more infuriating. Chasse was starting to slip through the cracks, but before he fell, his life was extinguished by those charged with protecting him. Lindstrom does a tremendous

job showing what we lost as Chasse lay dying on a Pearl District sidewalk: not just a life, but our confidence in those sworn to serve and protect. AP KRYZA. Cinema 21.

Amour

A Midway through Michael Haneke’s

scrupulously devastating Amour, the elderly Georges (Jean-Louis Trintignant) tells his wife, Anne (Emmanuelle Riva), about a film he remembers watching as a child. Though he can no longer recall any details, he keenly remembers how the film made him feel, and the reminiscence brings him to tears. “The emotions remain,” he tells Anne. That scene is almost too perfect, but it captures what makes Amour both calmly beautiful and tremendously wrenching. Over the film’s course, Austrian writerdirector Haneke, ever the psychologically brutalizing provocateur, takes an unsentimental, dignified and painfully transfixing look at infirmity and mortality. Set almost entirely in Georges and Anne’s comfortable apartment in modern-day Paris, Amour lays its groundwork early. Anne has a stroke one morning, seeming to disappear mentally for several moments. She soon ends up in a wheelchair, having lost function on one side of her body. Riva’s performance is as graceful as it is heartbreaking: There’s a joyful scene in which she laughs while spinning around in her motorized wheelchair, but also moments when she expresses a complex constellation of shame, sadness and confusion. Though Amour may not contain the same cold shocks of menace or cruelty as Haneke’s other films, it also does not relent in its painful realism. And that is precisely what endows it with such power. PG13. REBECCA JACOBSON. Fox Tower.

Argo

A- Ben Affleck’s thriller, the bizarre

story of a joint mission between the Canadian government, the CIA and Hollywood to extract six Americans hiding in Tehran by posing as a Canuck film crew on a location shoot, is one of the year’s best pictures. R. AP KRYZA. Clackamas, CineMagic, Lake Twin, Living Room Theaters, City Center, Movies on TV.

Barbara

B Barbara is a somewhat grim inter-

rogation of Germany’s past. It’s an effective and subtle—though also monotone and dreary—account of

C As its teenage characters woo each other with Charles Bukowski quotes and Kurt Vonnegut references, Beautiful Creatures fancies itself an impassioned ode to overcoming alienation. But the film—despite any mileage it gains thanks to its eerie Southern gothic setting—hews closer to Twilight than to any other literary forebear. Lena (Alice Englert) is a spookily enigmatic newcomer to the small town of Gatlin, S.C. “She looks like death eatin’ a cracker,” sneers one of her prim, Bible-thumping classmates. But the Vonnegut-worshipping Ethan (Alden Ehrenreich, whose square jaw and frequently unbuttoned shirt will probably recruit him fans) quickly cozies up to Lena, even when she reveals she’s a witch under the grasp of an age-old curse. Lena swears her powers are becoming darker, but as the film plods on, all that supports such a conviction is that she wears thicker eyeliner and accidentally produces more lightning bolts. Aside from scenery-chewing turns by Jeremy Irons as a morally ambiguous dandy and Emma Thompson as an unequivocally evil witch, the cast is wide-eyed and wooden. Beautiful Creatures attempts to make itself a supernatural Gone With the Wind, complete with gauzy Civil War flashbacks and a truth-telling maid (Viola Davis plays a telepathic housekeeper), but a modern-day Tara this ain’t. PG-13. REBECCA JACOBSON. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Cornelius, Lloyd Center, Oak Grove, City Center, Evergreen Parkway, Movies on TV, Pioneer Place, Tigard, Wilsonville, Sandy.

The Bitter Buddha

B [ONE NIGHT ONLY, DIRECTOR AND

STAR ATTENDING] Eddie Pepitone is Rumi with anger issues or Camus with a funny bone. In this darkly comedic peek into the life of a selfproclaimed “comedian-philosopher,” Steven Feinartz documents Pepitone’s unsettled personality. Though not as famous as Zack Galifianakis or Sarah Silverman, who comment on him in the film, Pepitone is known in comedic circles for his simultaneous rage and boyishness. The tragedy of tasting quasi-fame at age 50 is exactly what makes Pepitone such a cathartic subject. Feinartz’s portrait, a dynamic compilation of public shows and intimate moments, is not just for groupies. Even comedy virgins can be ensnared by Pepitone waxing on the tribulations of free online porn, tangled iPod cords and existential doubt. ENID SPITZ. Hollywood Theatre. 7:30 pm Friday, Feb. 22.

Bless Me, Ultima

B- In the mystical world of Bless Me, Ultima, women stick pins in doughy voodoo dolls and men vomit up physical manifestations of evil that look like squirming black Koosh balls. Carl Franklin’s film, adapted from Rudolfo Anaya’s 1972 novel, takes place in a version of 1940s New Mexico where first-graders soberly discuss sin and debate the existence of God. The story follows 7-year-old Antonio’s relationship with the elderly Ultima, a healer with herbal and magical powers. As Ultima (a graceful though one-dimensional Míriam Colón) teaches Antonio the ways of nature and of the universe, the boy must reconcile her supernatural and pagan beliefs with the doctrines of the Catholic church. This leads to an overabundance of hamfisted dialogue (“When one tampers with the fate of a man, a chain of events is set in action that none can control,” Ultima intones), as well as

gratuitously pedantic narration by an adult Antonio. It’s a shame—Paula Huidobro’s cinematography nicely captures the stark beauty and dramatic weather of rural New Mexico, but this is undercut by the voice-over that painstakingly spells out each moment of significance. As Antonio, Luke Ganolon is slightly stiff but appealingly inquisitive, and for such a fablelike tale, Franklin mostly avoids mawkishness. He’s constructed a respectful adaptation, yet one that—squirming Koosh balls aside—never really pulses with its own sense of life. PG-13. REBECCA JACOBSON. REBECCA JACOBSON. Fox Tower.

Cascade Festival of African Films

The fourth weekend of the festival kicks off with Stocktown X: South Africa (noon Thursday, Feb. 21), a 30-minute documentary about artists in South Africa’s underground youth culture, followed immediately by Inside Story (12:40 pm Thursday, Feb. 21), about a Kenyan striker who contracts HIV while playing professional soccer in South Africa. Also screening are Benda Bilili! (7:30 pm Thursday, Feb. 21), a documentary from the Democratic Republic of the Congo that follows street musicians in Kinshasa, and Pegasus (7:30 pm Friday, Feb. 22), a Moroccan film about a psychiatrist and her troubled patient. The family matinee (2 pm Saturday, Feb. 23) features Zarafa, an animated film based on the true story of a giraffe that traveled from Egypt to France in 1826. Closing out the weekend is Maami (7:30 pm Saturday, Feb. 23), about a Nigerian soccer player who returns to his childhood home in the run-up to the 2010 World Cup. Portland Community College’s Cascade Campus, Moriarty Arts and Humanities Building, Room 104, 705 N Killingsworth St. Through March 2.

The Clinton Red Tent

[ONE NIGHT ONLY, DIRECTOR ATTENDING] Director Isadora Gabrielle Leidenfrost screens her documentary Things We Don’t Talk About: Women’s Stories From the Red Tent, about experiences from the female-only space. The Aurora Chorus Outreach Ensemble will perform before the film, and Leidenfrost will conduct a postscreening Q&A. Clinton Street Theater. 7:30 pm Saturday, Feb. 23.

Dark Skies

A horrifying force threatens a suburban family. Not screened for critics. PG-13. Fox Tower, Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Cornelius, Lloyd Center, Evergreen Parkway, Movies on TV, Tigard, Wilsonville.

Django Unchained

B- If nothing else, Quentin Tarantino’s film Django Unchained has audacity going for it. But it raises a question that, ultimately, makes it tough to enjoy: When dredging up the ugliest period of American history for the sake of entertainment, is being cool enough? Because Django Unchained is exceptionally cool. A mashed-up spaghetti Western and blaxploitation flick, it is the kind of kinetic pastiche job that’s made Tarantino a genre unto himself. But Django Unchained trivializes an atrocity, and that makes it hard to digest as fun, frivolous popcorn. R. MATTHEW SINGER. Eastport, Lloyd Center, City Center, Evergreen Parkway.

A Good Day to Die Hard

C+ 2007’s Live Free or Die Hard was, to the pleasant surprise of many, the best entry in the Die Hard series since we were first introduced to John McClane nearly two decades earlier. It was self-aware, funny and joyously over the top. John Moore’s A Good Day to Die Hard doubles down on that film’s maximalist approach and silly title but drifts away from nearly everything else that defines a Die Hard film. McClane has gone from a likable everyman to an indestructible super-cop. Too much attention is paid to barely coherent action sequences and too little to the once-charismatic figure in the middle of it all. At the film’s beginning, McClane flies to Moscow in order to help his gonerogue son; once there, things quickly escalate—as they are wont to do

whenever Bruce Willis’ flagship character gets involved. In hindsight, it seems not only inevitable that the all-American cowboy of a cop would eventually fight the Russians but strange that it took so long to happen. This scenario yields a number of early pleasures: It would be self-defeating to deny the joy of seeing Willis yell “Do you think I understand a word you’re saying!?” immediately after punching out an angry Muscovite. But such moments are overshadowed by the baddies’ propensity to speak only English and lazy plotting that leads to a radioactive climax in Chernobyl. Moore and writer Skip Woods also expend considerable energy creating an overly ominous atmosphere. The explosions and gunfire are often exciting despite not holding up to narrative or logical scrutiny, but they nevertheless leave one longing for the moments of levity that colored the previous entries. Which is to say: A Good Day is a decent action flick, but change a few characters’ names and it’s barely recognizable as a Die Hard movie. R. MICHAEL NORDINE. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Cornelius, Lloyd Center, Oak Grove, City Center, Evergreen Parkway, Movies on TV, Pioneer Place, Tigard, Wilsonville, Roseway, Sandy, St. Johns Twin.

Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters

B- Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters is a totally different monkey from the rest of the neo-fairy-tale crop. This is a big, dumb action flick, which finds that Hansel (Jeremy Renner) and Gretel (Gemma Arterton) have grown up and developed, and now they’ve got a thing for tight leather and a knack for hunting, torturing and killing witches. There are a lot of glossed-over and highly disturbing subtexts one could bring up in tearing apart this film— among them its rampant violence toward women. But that’s reading too deeply into this tale. This is a gory confection that’s deeply flawed, horrifically acted and utterly ridiculous, but that nonetheless manages to be fun. R. AP KRYZA. Eastport, Clackamas, Cornelius, Evergreen Parkway, Movies on TV.

Happy People: A Year in the Taiga

B Werner Herzog’s 2010 documen-

tary takes us to a remote fur-trapping village in central Russia, where 300 people live a long helicopter ride from civilization. Divided into segments for each of the four seasons, the film is a pastoral portrait of the villagers working wood into traps with the same tools used for generations. They seem no more or less happy than the subjects of any of Herzog’s earlier documentaries, which are better paced and far better scored than Happy People. Nevertheless, Herzog’s hilariously poignant monotone, laid over scenes of expansive and desolate beauty, helps redeem the documentary. MITCH LILLIE. Living Room Theaters.

Hecklevision: Con Air

[ONE NIGHT ONLY, REVIVAL] Ready those thumbs and get ready to write some snarky texts: Nicolas Cage plays an ex-con on a plane with vicious criminals. R. Hollywood Theatre. 7:30 pm Saturday, Feb. 23.

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

B+ After a slow and decidedly kiddie start, The Hobbit moves at the lightning pace of a chase movie intercut with stellar mini-adventures involving orcs astride wolves, gigantic spiders, soaring eagles and reanimated kings. PG-13. AP KRYZA. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Movies on TV.

Horror Rises From the Tomb

[ONE NIGHT ONLY, REVIVAL] This 1972 Spanish horror film whisks together zombies, a misbegotten séance, hidden treasures, numerous decapitations and no shortage of blood and gore. Clinton Street Theater. 8 pm Thursday, Feb. 21.

Identity Thief

C- If an awareness of dimming economic realities were to occupy any

CONT. on page 48

Willamette Week FEBRUARY 20, 2013 wweek.com

FEB. 20–26 A R E N A S E N T E R TA I N M E N T

MOVIES

Page 42

BLESS ME, ULTIMA Hollywood genre, you’d figure the gross-out comedy would be a natural fit. Shouldn’t lowest-common-denominator humor cater to the 99 percent? For the briefest of moments, as an ebullient Melissa McCarthy blithely swindles Jason Bateman’s buttoned-down Denver accounts manager by pretending to be a bank employee offering a credit protection service, there’s a hint of the anarchic zeal that could have lent Identity Thief a distinct personality. Before anyone starts pondering telemarketing fraud as a potential career, though, we’re informed that Bateman’s heroic financial services functionary can barely support his beatific family despite his tireless labor, while McCarthy lavishes her ill-gotten largess on a four-figure bar tab. McCarthy’s effervescent crassness and Bateman’s mastery of the long-suffering slow burn are as richly combustible as you’d expect, but while the sudden eruptions of frankly brutal slapstick work a treat, it’s a long slog in reclaimedhobo trousers to get there. If we’ve learned anything in the past few years, it’s that there’s no such thing as a comedy too big to fail. R. JAY HORTON. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Cornelius, Lloyd Center, Oak Grove, City Center, Evergreen Parkway, Movies on TV, Pioneer Place, Tigard, Wilsonville, Sandy.

The Impossible

C Though it centers on the 2004 tsunami that ravaged Southeast Asia and killed 230,000 people, Juan Antonio Bayona’s ﬁlm is less a tale of cataclysmic human and environmental devastation than a troublingly narrow narrative about one white, privileged, European family whose vacation is spoiled by a crushing wall of water. R. REBECCA JACOBSON. Fox Tower, Clackamas.

Les Misérables

D Tom Hooper’s Les Misérables lives up to its name. With the exception of about 10 minutes, the nearly three-hour film is an endless wallow in the fields of squalor, filth, chancre and herpes. Derived from Victor Hugo’s humanitarian novel, already a doorstop weepie, Les Miz is in musical form a bathetic pressure washer loaded with human tears. In Hooper’s (The King’s Speech) loose directorial grip, this water cannon jerks itself around as in an old Looney Tunes cartoon, spraying the world with salty liquid. PG-13. MATTHEW KORFHAGE. Fox Tower, Clackamas, Indoor Twin, Evergreen Parkway.

Life of Pi

C Ang Lee’s Life of Pi surrenders the more subtle messages of Yann Martel’s novel for ham-handed schlock and slack-jawed awe. PG. REBECCA JACOBSON. Eastport, Cornelius, City Center, Movies on TV.

Lincoln

B Steven Spielberg’s stately drama

is shrewd, balanced and impres-

Willamette Week FEBRUARY 20, 2013 wweek.com

sively restrained. PG-13. REBECCA JACOBSON. Fox Tower, Cedar Hills, Indoor Twin, Tigard.

Mama

C+ Andrés Muschietti’s Mama opens with a deranged father who, having killed several co-workers and his wife, kidnaps his daughters. But he careens off the road and meets an unfortunate fate, leaving his little girls on their own. Five years later, we meet the girls’ uncle (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau), who discovers that little Lily and Victoria have survived essentially as animals. The film is strongest when it follows the girls’ social reacclimation and psychoanalysis, which reveals that they invented an imaginary protector named Mama—only, of course, she’s not so imaginary. But the second half of the film teeters into the most macabre episode of Scooby Doo ever. It’s also at this point that the ghost ceases to be scary. In early appearances, she’s a ghostly shape whose hair and clothing billow as if underwater. But then the film grows impatient, and suddenly Mama is front and center, looking like test footage from The Grudge and less interested in terrorizing the characters than in popping her head directly before the camera. Could it be that Mama’s real goal is to make the ultimate photobomb? If so, nicely done. Either way, the over-reliance on special effects and the sacrifice of actual dread earned through organic scares make Mama land with a thud. PG-13. AP KRYZA. Eastport, Clackamas.

Mind Zone: Therapists Beyond the Front Lines

[ONE NIGHT ONLY, DIRECTOR ATTENDING] Clinical psychologist Jan Haaken screens her documentary about the challenges faced by military therapists in Afghanistan. First Unitarian Church, 1011 SW 12th Ave. 7 pm Thursday, Feb. 21.

No Return Movie Madness: Once Upon a Girl

[ONE NIGHT ONLY, REVIVAL] A pornographic 1976 ﬁlm mixing live action with animation about fairytale characters. You’ve never seen Cinderella like this before. Clinton Street Theater. Midnight Friday, Feb. 22.

One Life

A feature-length BBC nature documentary narrated by (who else?) Daniel Craig. Living Room Theaters.

Pépé le Moko

[ONE NIGHT ONLY, REVIVAL] In Julien Duvivier’s 1937 ﬁlm, a dapper French gangster eludes police by hiding out in the shadowy Casbah of Algiers. Clinton Street Theater. 8 pm Tuesday, Feb. 26.

Portland Black Film Festival

Next up in the monthlong festival is Soul Train Express (7:30 pm Wednesday, Feb. 20), a greatest-hits sampler of the classic television program. As part of

FEB. 20–26

MOVIES

STUDIO BABELSBERG

Sound City

Dave Grohl’s documentary pays tribute to the legendary (and nowdefunct) Los Angeles recording studio. Hollywood Theatre.

Warm Bodies

B+ “Don’t be creepy, don’t be

HAPPY PEOPLE: A YEAR IN THE TAIGA the Grindhouse Film Festival, the Hollywood will also show a 35 mm print of 1976’s Brotherhood of Death (7:30 pm Tuesday, Feb. 26), a little-seen blaxploitation ﬂick about black Vietnam vets who face oﬀ with the Ku Klux Klan in the South. Hollywood Theatre.

Quartet

B You’ve seen this ﬁlm before: A

pack of love-drunk song-and-dancers needs a ton of money to save their home, so they band together to put on a big music show. Can they pull it off ? Will the big star agree to take part? But in Quartet, Dustin Hoffman’s twilight directorial debut, the stars are septuagenarians. The film, which takes place in a ridiculously well-appointed retirement home for former classical musicians, acts as both valedictory and wake for an entire passing generation of British actors and musicians—notably Maggie Smith, Michael Gambon, Billy Connolly and Tom Courtenay, alongside a host of former opera stars. But it’s surprisingly fun. Maggie Smith plays Maggie Smith, of course—which is to say she walks around scaring the living shit out of everybody—but by the end it’s a lovely and vulnerable performance. While Quartet toys with treacherous sentimentality, it saves itself by virtue of a cheery patience in exposition. Following up on France’s All Together, starring Jane Fonda, Quartet is the second high-profile film in about a year to feature an ensemble of lovelorn retirees. Of the two, Quartet is much less ambitious and much more successful. While Hoffman seems very aware he’s gently closing the book on an entire generation of entertainers, he nonetheless allows them to do what they’ve always done best: be entertaining. PG-13. MATTHEW KORFHAGE. Fox Tower, Cedar Hills.

Reel Relics: Down So Long

[ONGOING SERIES, ONE NIGHT ONLY] The ﬁlm and music series continues with recordings of four blues performances from Memphis Slim, Bonnie Raitt, Koko Taylor and B.B. King. Clinton Street Theater. 9:30 pm Friday, Feb. 22.

Safe Haven

D In this happily-ever-after version of domestic violence, based on a Nicholas Sparks novel, Katie (Julianne Hough) flees an abusive relationship, blood on her hands, with the help of her neighbor, an elderly cherry-picker. Her safe haven manifests itself as a tiny Southern beach town, fortuitously home to the tan and chiseled Alex (Josh Duhamel). While Katie copes with the trauma by repainting her kitchen floor canary yellow, Sparksian flames ignite between her and widower Alex. No one saw that coming. Fans of Dear John (Safe Haven is also directed by Lasse Hallström) and The Last Song can enjoy a good heart flutter as Alex lifts Katie off her feet and passionately presses her against a tree. But the deranged, abusive husband won’t disappear so easily, and the events that follow will offend—if not outrage—feminists and anyone remotely knowledgeable

about domestic abuse. Think J.Lo’s Enough, deep-fried and coated with extra sugar. PG-13. ENID SPITZ. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Cornelius, Lloyd Center, Oak Grove, City Center, Evergreen Parkway, Movies on TV, Pioneer Place, Tigard, Wilsonville, Sandy.

Saturday Night Fever

[THREE DAYS ONLY, REVIVAL] John Travolta is stayin’ alive. PG. Fifth Avenue Cinema. 7 and 9:30 pm Friday-Saturday, 3 pm Sunday, Feb. 22-24.

Side Effects

B- Warning: Steven Soderbergh’s new film may cause anxiety, frustration, terror, temporary memory loss, episodes of euphoria, Hitchcockian feelings of nostalgia, numbing, exhilaration, dread and apathy. Side effects of Side Effects may also include jaw clenching and eye rolling. Consumption of Side Effects is recommended with a grain of salt. Soderbergh is a master of genre jumping, and with Side Effects, he combines the medical horrors of 2011’s middling Contagion with a noir-style narrative about a young woman (Rooney Mara) who commits a horrendous crime while under the influence of a radical new antidepressant. What emerges is a nail biter that eventually sacrifices a gorgeous concept for standard mystery beats. But the setup, a story about the casualties of mental-health treatment, is damn jarring. Suicidal and prone to sleepwalking, Mara reaches out to an overworked psychiatrist (Jude Law), who puts her on the experimental antidepressant. The first hour plays like a nightmare in which you occupy the head of a severely disturbed mental patient, an effect augmented by jittery sound design that gives the illusion of constant whispers following Mara. Alas, just as the film ratchets up the jitters and paranoia, it takes a turn for the conventional in the second half, which focuses on Law doing an awful lot of Googling and stoic staring before the film hits the safety net of ho-hum conspiracy theory and conventional thriller tropes. R. AP KRYZA. Fox Tower, Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Lloyd Center, City Center, Evergreen Parkway, Movies on TV, Tigard.

Silver Linings Playbook

A- David O. Russell emerges with

one of ﬁlmdom’s funniest stories of crippling manic depression. If Frank Capra had made an R-rated ﬂick for the Prozac generation, it would look like this. R. AP KRYZA. Fox Tower, Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Forest, Lake Twin, Moreland, Oak Grove, City Center, Evergreen Parkway, Movies on TV, Tigard, Sandy, St. Johns Twin.

Snitch

Dwayne Johnson plays a father trying to free his son after he’s been set up in a drug deal. Susan Sarandon, inexplicably, also stars. Screened after WW press deadlines, but look for Jay Horton’s review at wweek.com. PG13. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Cornelius, Living Room Theaters, Oak Grove, Sandy.

creepy, don’t be creepy,” the lovesick zombie begs himself as he stares, slack-jawed, at the very blond, very alive object of his affection. His name is “R” (he thinks) and he’s your average twentysomething zombie. He’s conflicted about all the killing, but considering his only way to reconnect to the world is to download a human’s memories by devouring their brains, he’ll take it. That is, until he locks eyes with shotgun-wielding Julie and falls head over undead heels in love. In a genre already clogged with teens trysting with milquetoast vampires and hunky werewolves, forcing zombies to woo humans sounds like a calculating cash grab. But director Jonathan Levine’s goofy wisp of a film is a charming lurch through zombieland that bypasses the usual headshots to aim at the heart— and scores a surprisingly direct hit. It helps that Nicholas Hoult is the world’s cutest corpse: all mussed hair, starburst eyes and deep-shadowed lids…and a little mouth slime. After saving Julie from his “friends,” he courts her with canned fruit cocktail and Coronas. Men do a lot of strange things for a date, but this is the only case (so far) of a dude eating a girl’s boyfriend’s brain in order to get to know her better. When Julie (Teresa Palmer) starts to warm up to her undead suitor, he in turn remembers how to be human. The CGI effects are laughable, and it takes a while to adjust to the willfully cheeseball tone. But once it clicks, it’s irresistible. PG-13. KELLY CLARKE. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Cornelius, Lloyd Center, Oak Grove, City Center, Evergreen Parkway, Movies on TV, Pioneer Place, Wilsonville, Sandy.

MUSIC MUSIC MUSIC MUSIC profiles, showtimes, & more...

pg. 31

March 20th • 2013

Zero Dark Thirty

A- For all the talk about torture

Zero Dark Thirty has generated, you’d be forgiven for thinking director Kathryn Bigelow spends 157 minutes depicting detainees being waterboarded, strung up with ropes and crammed into confinement boxes. This is, of course, not the case. The majority of the film is an intricate police procedural about the decadelong hunt for Osama bin Laden. But those scenes of torture, front-loaded in the first third of the film, dredge up such challenging, uncomfortable and important moral questions it’s no wonder they’ve dominated discussion since before Zero Dark Thirty was released. Yet I’m unable to see the film as some rah-rah, kill-the-motherfucker piece of jingoism that pines for the days when detainees wore dog collars. Instead, it’s as uncomfortable in its relentlessly raw representations of torture as it is in its characters’ emotionally ambiguous reactions— or nonreactions—to those acts of torture. Take the first scene of torture: CIA officer Maya (Jessica Chastain) has just arrived in Pakistan and is present for the violent interrogation of a detainee named Ammar. Maya cringes, clenches her jaw, clasps her arms across her chest and at one point covers her eyes. But there’s an unsettling slightness to these reactions. The torture is terrible and sad in its brutality; Maya’s reactions are terrible and sad in their faintness. Zero Dark Thirty builds to the pivotal raid on bin Laden’s compound by a group of Navy SEALs. The suspense is thick, the carnage plentiful, and the celebration brief and fraught—this is no simple act of triumphalism. Much like the film’s earlier depictions of torture, it’s wrenchingly decisive yet, ultimately, inconclusive. R. REBECCA JACOBSON. Fox Tower, Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Cornelius, Evergreen Parkway, Movies on TV, Wilsonville.

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Space Reservation & Materials Deadline Feb. 27th at 4pm Call 503.243.2122 • Email advertising@wweek.com Willamette Week FEBRUARY 20, 2013 wweek.com

MOVIES

FEB 22–28 UNIVERSAL PICTURES

BREWVIEWS

THIS IS 40 Fri-Sat-SunTue-Wed 07:40 THE GUILT TRIP Fri-Sat-Tue-Wed 02:30 WRECK-IT RALPH Sat-Sun-Mon 03:00

Fifth Avenue Cinemas

510 SW Hall St., 503-725-3551 SATURDAY NIGHT FEVER Fri-Sat-Sun 03:00

Hollywood Theatre

CAN OF WORMS: In an alternate universe, or in other hands, the 1990 cult creature feature Tremors would be damned to infamy as a Syfy original movie. This is, after all, a film about a bunch of gun-loving rednecks in a small desert town battling gigantic, flesh-munching subterranean sand worms whose mouths are full of writhing phalluses. As it stands, though, one of those rednecks is Kevin Bacon, the gigantic worms look incredible, the deaths are gnarly, and the tone mixes comedy and action with penisshaped tongue firmly in cheek. It’s one of the most fun camp experiences you can have without getting poison ivy. AP KRYZA. Showing at: Laurelhurst Theater. Best paired with: Lompoc Proletariat Red. Also showing: Sound City (Hollywood), Rise of the Guardians (Academy). ARGO Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 05:30, 08:00 THE BOONDOCK SAINTS Sat 09:00

Lloyd Center 10 and IMAX

Willamette Week’s

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1510 NE Multnomah St., 800326-3264 A GOOD DAY TO DIE HARD: THE IMAX EXPERIENCE Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:30, 02:05, 04:45, 07:25, 10:05 SNITCH Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:00, 02:45, 05:15, 07:45, 10:15 DARK SKIES Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 11:50, 02:25, 05:00, 07:35, 10:10 A GOOD DAY TO DIE HARD Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 12:50, 03:55, 06:50, 09:35 IDENTITY THIEF Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:40, 03:50, 07:05, 09:55 WARM BODIES Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:45, 02:10, 04:40, 07:15, 10:20 BEAUTIFUL CREATURES Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:20, 03:20, 07:00, 10:00 SAFE HAVEN Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:10, 03:30, 06:35, 09:30 SIDE EFFECTS Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 12:30, 03:40, 06:30, 09:50 DJANGO UNCHAINED Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 11:35, 03:10, 06:45, 09:15

Bagdad Theater and Pub

3702 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 503-249-7474 BEASTS OF THE SOUTHERN WILD FriSat-Mon-Tue-Wed 06:00 SKYFALL Fri-Sat-Mon-TueWed 08:20 RISE OF THE GUARDIANS Sat 02:00 ACADEMY AWARDS PARTY Sun 02:00

Cinema 21 Publishes: April 24, 2013 space reservation & materials Deadline : tuesday, april 16 at 4pm call 503 243 2122 • email advertising@wweek.com

616 NW 21st Ave., 503-223-4515 36TH PORTLAND INTERNATIONAL FILM FESTIVAL Fri-Sat ALIEN BOY: THE LIFE AND DEATH OF JAMES CHASSE SunMon-Tue-Wed 04:30, 07:00, 09:00

Clinton Street Theater

2522 SE Clinton St., 503-238-8899 REEL RELICS: DOWN SO

Willamette Week FEBRUARY 20, 2013 wweek.com

LONG Fri 09:30 ONCE UPON A GIRL Fri 12:00 THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW Sat 12:00 OSCAR PARTY Sun 04:00 PEPE LE MOKO Tue 08:00 REEL FEMINISM: STANDING ON MY SISTERS’ SHOULDERS Wed 07:00

Laurelhurst Theatre & Pub

2735 E Burnside St., 503-232-5511 BEASTS OF THE SOUTHERN WILD Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 06:45 CLOUD ATLAS Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 08:50 THIS IS 40 Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 07:00 TREMORS Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 09:45 THE MASTER FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 06:30 SKYFALL Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 09:30 HYDE PARK ON HUDSON Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 07:15 PARKER Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 09:20 SEARCHING FOR SUGAR MAN Fri-Sat-Sun 04:30 ANNA KARENINA SatSun 01:00 RISE OF THE GUARDIANS Sat-Sun 01:15

Mission Theater and Pub

1624 NW Glisan St., 503-249-7474-5 PORTLANDIA Fri 07:00, 10:00 SKYFALL Sat-MonWed 08:15 THIS IS 40 SunMon-Wed

Roseway Theatre

7229 NE Sandy Blvd., 503282-2898 A GOOD DAY TO DIE HARD Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:30, 03:00, 05:30, 08:00

St. Johns Twin Cinemas and Pub

8704 N Lombard St., 503286-1768 SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 04:30, 07:00, 09:30 A GOOD DAY TO DIE HARD Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 05:00, 07:20, 09:45

CineMagic Theatre 2021 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 503-231-7919

Century 16 Eastport Plaza

4040 SE 82nd Ave., 800-326-3264-952 HANSEL & GRETEL: WITCH HUNTERS Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 04:25, 10:00 HANSEL & GRETEL: WITCH HUNTERS 3D Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 02:55, 08:10 LIFE OF PI Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 01:30, 07:05 LIFE OF PI 3D Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 12:00, 05:15, 10:30 SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 01:40, 04:35, 07:20, 10:05 THE HOBBIT: AN UNEXPECTED JOURNEY Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 12:10, 07:50 THE HOBBIT: AN UNEXPECTED JOURNEY 3D Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 03:50 ZERO DARK THIRTY Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 03:00, 06:25, 09:50 DJANGO UNCHAINED Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 12:20, 06:45 MAMA Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 03:55, 10:25 WARM BODIES Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:00, 02:25, 04:55, 07:25, 10:10 IDENTITY THIEF Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 02:00, 04:45, 07:35, 10:15 SIDE EFFECTS Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 02:15, 05:05, 07:40, 10:25 BEAUTIFUL CREATURES Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 01:50, 04:40, 07:30, 10:20 SAFE HAVEN Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 01:45, 04:30, 07:10, 09:55 A GOOD DAY TO DIE HARD Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:05, 01:15, 02:35, 03:45, 05:10, 06:30, 07:55, 09:15, 10:30 ESCAPE FROM PLANET EARTH Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 02:45, 07:15 ESCAPE FROM PLANET EARTH 3D Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:30, 05:00, 09:30 SNITCH Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:00, 02:30, 05:00, 07:30, 10:00 DARK SKIES Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:15, 02:45, 05:15, 07:45, 10:15

Kennedy School Theater

5736 NE 33rd Ave., 503-249-7474-4 RISE OF THE GUARDIANS Fri-Sat-Sun-Tue-Wed 05:30

4122 NE Sandy Blvd., 503-281-4215 SOUND CITY Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 07:20, 09:30 THE OSCAR NOMINATED SHORT FILMS 2013: ANIMATED Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 07:10 THE OSCAR NOMINATED SHORT FILMS 2013: LIVE ACTION Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 09:00 THE BITTER BUDDHA Fri 07:30 HECKLEVISION: CON AIR Sat 07:30 OSCAR PARTY Sun 04:30 LIVING DOWNSTREAM Mon 07:30 BROTHERHOOD OF DEATH Tue 07:30 SHOUT TROUBLES OVER: THE ULTIMATE GOSPEL VIDEO BOOTLEG Wed 07:30 AN EVENING OF ANIMATED INFOGRAPHICS

Regal Pioneer Place Stadium 6

340 SW Morrison St., 800-326-3264 SAFE HAVEN Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 01:15, 04:20, 07:15, 10:10 BEAUTIFUL CREATURES Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 01:00, 04:00, 07:00, 10:00 A GOOD DAY TO DIE HARD Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 01:10, 04:10, 07:10, 09:50 ESCAPE FROM PLANET EARTH 3D Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 01:20, 06:50 ESCAPE FROM PLANET EARTH Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 03:45, 09:15 IDENTITY THIEF Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:45, 03:40, 06:40, 09:40 WARM BODIES Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:50, 03:30, 06:30, 09:30

St. Johns Theatre

8203 N Ivanhoe St., 503-249-7474-6 RISE OF THE GUARDIANS Fri-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 06:30 THIS IS 40 Fri-SatMon-Tue-Wed 01:00, 08:50 THE WALKING DEAD Sun 06:00, 08:00 BURGER, BEER, MOVIE NIGHT Wed

Living Room Theaters

341 SW 10th Ave., 971-222-2010 56 UP Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 12:10, 06:35 A GLIMPSE INSIDE THE MIND OF CHARLES SWAN III Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 02:40, 09:25 ARGO FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:00, 02:50, 04:30, 06:45, 07:15, 09:45 BARBARA Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 02:30, 09:15 HAPPY PEOPLE: A YEAR IN THE TAIGA Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 12:30, 03:10, 05:30, 07:40, 09:40 ONE LIFE Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 12:05, 04:50 THE OSCAR NOMINATED SHORT FILMS 2013: ANIMATED Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:50, 05:00, 09:20 THE OSCAR NOMINATED SHORT FILMS 2013: LIVE ACTION Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 02:10, 07:00 SEARCHING FOR SUGAR MAN Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 04:40 SNITCH Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 12:20, 02:20, 05:20, 07:30, 09:30 SUBJECT TO CHANGE. CALL THEATERS OR VISIT WWEEK.COM/MOVIETIMES FOR THE MOST UP-TODATE INFORMATION FRIDAY-THURSDAY, FEB. 22-28, UNLESS OTHERWISE INDICATED

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52 53

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COUNSELING ADOPTION *ADOPTION:*

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MUSICIANS MARKET FOR FREE ADS in 'Musicians Wanted,' 'Musicians Available' & 'Instruments for Sale' go to portland.backpage.com and submit ads online. Ads taken over the phone in these categories cost $5.

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EVENTS FilmLab

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MISCELLANEOUS 2ND PSALMS:

Why do the Heathen rage? And the People imagine a vain thing? The Kings of the earth set themselves and the Rulers take counsel together [conspiracy]; Against the Lord, and against HIS Anointed, saying: Let us break their bands [chains] as under and cast away their cords from us! BUT HE that sits in the Heavens shall LAUGH! The Lord shall have them in derision. Then HE shall speak to them in HIS sore displeasure... ...I will declare the decree: The Lord has said unto me You are MY son [Daughter], for this Day have I begotten [adopted] you (Galatians 4:5-7). Now ASK OF ME, and I will give you the Heathen for your inheritance - and the uttermost parts of the world for your possession [dominion]. ... For the eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to show HIMSELF strong in the behalf of those whose heart is perfect to SEEK HIM! (2 Chronicles 16:9). THEREFORE, as I have said, says the Lord: ASK OF ME WHAT I SHOULD DO FOR YOU! (1 Kings 3:15 and Luke 18:41). Join US in prayer to the ONE TRUE GOD of Abraham, today, for the City of Portland. Chapel@gorge.net

SUPPORT GROUPS ALANON Sunday Rainbow

5:15 PM meeting. G/L/B/T/Q and friends. Downtown Unitarian Universalist Church on 12th above Taylor. 503-309-2739.

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CLEANING

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): The Old Testament tells the story of a man named Methuselah, who supposedly didn’t die until he was 969 years old. Some Kabbalistic commentators suggest that he didn’t literally walk the earth for almost ten centuries. Rather, he was extra skilled at the arts of living. His experiences were profoundly rich. He packed 969 years’ worth of meaningful adventures into a normal life span. I prefer that interpretation, and I’d like to invoke it as I assess your future. According to my analysis of the astrological omens, Taurus, you will have Methuselah’s talent in the coming weeks.

LANDSCAPING

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): In the coming weeks, I’m expecting your life to verge on being epic and majestic. There’s a better than even chance that you will do something heroic. You might finally activate a sleeping potential or tune in to your future power spot or learn what you’ve never been able to grasp before. And if you capitalize gracefully on the kaleidoscopic kismet that’s flowing your way, I bet you will make a discovery that will fuel you for the rest of your long life. In mythical terms, you will create a new Grail or tame a troublesome dragon -- or both.

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MCMENAMINS EDGEFIELD Is now hiring a BAKERY MANAGER! Qualified apps must have an open & flex sched including, days, eves, wknds and holidays. We are looking for applicant who have prev exp and enjoy working in a busy customer service-oriented enviro. Please apply online 24/7 at www.mcmenamins.com or pick up a paper app at any McMenamins location. Mail to 430 N. Killingsworth, Portland OR, 97217 or fax: 503-221-8749. Call 503-952-0598 for info on other ways to apply. Please no phone calls or emails to individ locs! E.O.E.

PETS Widget!

MCMENAMINS ROADHOUSE AND IMBRIE HALL Is now hiring SERVERS and LINE COOKS! Qualified apps must have an open & flex sched including, days, eves, wknds and holidays. We are looking for applicants who have prev exp and enjoy working in a busy customer serviceoriented enviro. Please apply online 24/7 at www.mcmenamins.com or pick up a paper app at any McMenamins location. Mail to 430 N. Killingsworth, Portland OR, 97217 or fax: 503-221-8749. Call 503-952-0598 for info on other ways to apply. Please no phone calls or emails to individ locs! E.O.E.

Ruby Spa in Forest Grove Is now hiring LMTs and Nail Techs! Qualified apps must have an open & flex sched including, days, eves, wknds and holidays. We are looking for applicants who have prev exp and enjoy working in a busy customer service-oriented enviro. Please apply online 24/7 at www.mcmenamins.com or pick up a paper app at any McMenamins location. Mail to 430 N. Killingsworth, Portland OR, 97217 or fax: 503-221-8749. Call 503-952-0598 for info on other ways to apply. Please no phone calls or emails to individ locs! E.O.E.

Bernhard’s Professional MaintenanceComplete yard care, 20 years. 503-515-9803. Licensed and Insured.

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Week of February 21

ARIES (March 21-April 19): In the course of her world travels, writer Jane Brunette has seen many wonderful things -- as well as a lot of trash. The most beautiful litter, she says, is in Bali. She loves the “woven palm leaf offerings, colorful cloth left from a ceremony, and flowers that dry into exquisite wrinkles of color.” Even the shiny candy wrappers strewn by the side of the road are fun to behold. Your assignment, Aries, is to adopt a perceptual filter akin to Brunette’s. Is there any stuff other people regard as worthless or outworn that you might find useful, interesting, or even charming? I’m speaking metaphorically as well as literally.

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STUFF

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tech conventions. Ok, ok so maybe I’m a huge nerd, but quite a lovable one! I’m not one those girls that just stays isolated in my room all day on the computer, no way, I am super social and would love to play co-op! I do great in doggy playgroups and could live with kitties too, although because of my size I’m best in a home without small children. I am 2 years old and have a long life of cos-play and computer code writing ahead! What do you think, want to geek out with an intelligent, playful and sweet Chihuahua? Fill out an application at pixieproject.org so we can schedule a meet and greet! I am fixed, vaccinated and microchipped. My adoption fee is $200.

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CANCER (June 21-July 22): Jackalopes resemble jackrabbits, except that they have antlers like deer and tails like pheasants. They love whiskey, only have sex during storms, and can mimic most sounds, even the human voice. The milk of the female has curative properties. Strictly speaking, however, the jackalope doesn’t actually exist. It’s a legendary beast, like the mermaid and unicorn. And yet Wyoming lawmakers have decided to honor it. Early this year they began the process of making it the state’s official mythical creature. I bring this to your attention, Cancerian, because now would be an excellent time to select your own official mythical creature. The evocative presence of this fantastic fantasy would inspire your imagination to work more freely and playfully, which is just what you need. What’ll it be? Dragon? Sphinx? Phoenix? Here’s a list: tinyurl.com/MythicCritters LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): The temptation to hide what you’re feeling could be strong right now. You may wonder if you should protect yourself and others from the unruly truth. But according to my analysis, you will be most brilliant and effective if you’re cheerfully honest. That’s the strategy most likely to provide genuine healing, too -- even if its initial effects are unsettling. Please remember that it won’t be enough merely to communicate the easy secrets with polite courage. You will have to tap into the deepest sources you know and unveil the whole story with buoyantly bold elegance. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): The word “chain” may refer to something that confines or restricts. But it can also mean a series of people who are linked together because of their common interests and their desire to create strength through unity. I believe that one of those two definitions will play an important role in your life during the coming weeks, Virgo. If you proceed with the intention to emphasize the second meaning, you will minimize and maybe even eliminate the first. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): People in Sweden used to drive their cars on the left-hand side of the road. But a growing body of research revealed it would be better if everyone drove on the right-hand side. So on September 3, 1967, the law changed. Everyone switched over. All non-essential traffic was halted for hours to accommodate the necessary adjustments. What were

the results? Lots of motorists grumbled about having to alter their routine behavior, but the transition was smooth. In fact, the accident rate went down. I think you’d benefit from doing a comparable ritual sometime soon, Libra. Which of your traditions or habits could use a fundamental revision? SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): When a woman is pregnant, her womb stretches dramatically, getting bigger to accommodate the growing fetus. I suspect you’ll undergo a metaphorically similar process in the coming weeks. A new creation will be gestating, and you’ll have to expand as it ripens. How? Here’s one way: You’ll have to get smarter and more sensitive in order to give it the care it needs. Here’s another way: You’ll have to increase your capacity for love. Don’t worry: You won’t have to do it all at once. “Little by little” is your watchword. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Do you floss your teeth while you’re meditating? Do you text-message and shave or put on make-up as you drive? Do you simultaneously eat a meal, pay your bills, watch TV, and exercise? If so, you are probably trying to move too fast and do too much. Even in normal times, that’s no good. But in the coming week, it should be taboo. You need to slowwww wayyyy dowwwn, Sagittarius. You’ve got . . . to compel yourself . . . to do . . . one thing . . . at a time. I say this not just because your mental and physical and spiritual health depend on it. Certain crucial realizations about your future are on the verge of popping into your awareness -- but they will only pop if you are immersed in a calm and unhurried state. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): To make your part of the world a better place, stress-loving workaholics may need to collaborate with slow-moving underachievers. Serious business might be best negotiated in places like bowling alleys or parking lots. You should definitely consider seeking out curious synergies and unexpected alliances. It’s an odd grace period, Capricorn. Don’t assume you already know how to captivate the imaginations of people whose influence you want in your life. Be willing to think thoughts and feel feelings you have rarely if ever entertained. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Gawker.com came up with colorful ways to describe actress Zooey Deschanel. In a weird coincidence, their pithy phrases for her seem to fit the moods and experiences you will soon be having. I guess you could say you’re scheduled to have a Zooey Deschanel-accordingto-Gawker.com kind of week. Here are some of the themes: 1. Novelty ukulele tune. 2. Overemphatic stage wink. 3. Sentient glitter cloud. 4. Over-iced Funfetti cupcake. 5. Melted-bead craft project. 6. Living Pinterest board. 7. Animated Hipstamatic photograph. 8. Bambi’s rabbit friend. 9. Satchel of fairy dust. 10. Hipster labradoodle. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): You may have heard the thundering exhortation, “Know thyself!” Its origin is ancient. More than 2,400 years ago, it was inscribed at the front of the Temple of Apollo in Delphi, Greece. As important as it is to obey this command, there is an equally crucial corollary: “Be thyself!” Don’t you agree? Is there any experience more painful than not being who you really are? Could there be any behavior more damaging to your long-term happiness than trying to be someone other than who you really are? If there is even the slightest gap, Pisces, now is an excellent time to start closing it. Cosmic forces will be aligned in your favor if you push hard to further identify the nature of your authentic self, and then take aggressive steps to foster its full bloom.

Homework Is it possible there’s something you really need but you don’t know what it is? Can you guess what it might be? http://Freewillastrology.com

check out Rob Brezsny’s Expanded Weekly Audio Horoscopes & Daily Text Message Horoscopes

freewillastrology.com

The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at

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JONESIN’ by Matt Jones 65 Kings of ___ 66 Duncan of the Obama Cabinet 67 One-for-one trades 68 ___ Tomb (solitaire game) 69 Ray of light Down 1 Zooming noise 2 Like cookies made without ovens 3 Keaton of the Silent Era 4 Parabolic path 5 Add sparkle to 6 51, for one 7 Superpower that split up 8 Calif. newspaper 9 Spanish actress often seen on “The Love Boat” 10 Kansas county seat (hidden in VIOLATION) 11 Pinky’s partner 12 It’s north of Afr. 13 Dungeons & Dragons game runners, for short 18 Key at the top left 19 School, to Sarkozy 24 Feeling while watching slasher movies 25 Skirmish 27 ___-rock 28 “Tell ___ secrets...” 31 Less like thou? 32 Seemingly endless pit 33 They usually weren’t hits 35 ___ Taylor LOFT 36 Bobby, to Hank Hill 37 Track star Jones 38 Israeli statesman Abba 39 Moorish fortress in Spain 43 ___-Roman wrestling

44 Symbols called “snails” in some languages 48 Dress 49 Shakespearean title city 50 Feuder with Moby 52 City where Van Gogh painted 54 Positive vote 56 Gp. for Baby Boomers 57 Hot wings cheese

58 Out-of-control situation 60 Channel with the slogan “Very funny” 61 Labor org. based in Detroit 62 Sandwich that’s now a potato chip ﬂavor 63 It’s settled when settling up

last week’s answers

Across 1 Liberty org. 5 Dave’s bandleader 9 Used as source material 14 Each episode of “24” 15 “Major” constellation 16 Blah 17 Thieves who take X-rated DVDs? 20 Gorp piece 21 He killed Mufasa 22 Nebula animal 23 Really untrustworthy looking 25 As well 26 Tachometer stat 29 Roll call response 30 Company with orange-and-white trucks 33 Like some minimums 34 Fascination with Dre, Eve and Wiz Khalifa? 37 Get wind of 40 Fleur-de-___ 41 Start of a Danny Elfman band 42 Jamaica or Puerto Rico, if you’re drawing a map? 45 Bert who played the Cowardly Lion 46 Change the clock 47 Icicle spot 51 “I’m ___ Boat” (“SNL” digital short) 52 ___ Lingus (Irish carrier) 53 What many gamblers claim to have 55 “Double Dare” host Summers 57 Cheese that melts well 59 Part of TNT 60 Debt to ducts? 64 Wilkes-___, Penna.

“Ob Course”–getting a new start.

©2012 Jonesin’ Crosswords (editor@jonesincrosswords.com) For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle #JONZ611.

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BACK COVER

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4119 SE Hawthorne, Portland ph: 503-235-PIPE (7473)

$Cash for Junk Vehicles$

Ask for Steve. 503-936-5923 Licensed/Bonded/Insured

OMMP Resource Center Providing Safe Access to Medicine Valid MMJ Card Holders Only • No Membership Dues or Door Fees