39 29 willamette week, may 22, 2013 by Willamette Week Newspaper

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STAFF Editor-in-Chief Mark Zusman EDITORIAL Managing Editor for News Brent Walth Arts & Culture Editor Martin Cizmar Staff Writers Andrea Damewood, Nigel Jaquiss, Aaron Mesh Copy Chief Rob Fernas Copy Editors Matt Buckingham, Peggy Capps Stage & Screen Editor Rebecca Jacobson Music Editor Matthew Singer Books Penelope Bass Classical Brett Campbell Dance Aaron Spencer Theater Rebecca Jacobson Visual Arts Richard Speer Editorial Interns Ann-Derrick Gaillot, Ashley Jocz, Sara Sneath, Kaitie Todd, Brandon Widder

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STORE HOURS CONTRIBUTORS Emilee Booher, Ruth Brown, Nathan Carson, Robert Ham, Jay Horton, Reed Jackson, Emily Jensen, AP Kryza, Mitch Lillie, John Locanthi, Michael Lopez, Jessica Pedrosa, Enid Spitz, Mark Stock, Brian Yaeger, Michael C. Zusman PRODUCTION Production Manager Ben Kubany Art Director Ben Mollica Graphic Designers Kathleen Marie-Barnett, Andrew Farris, Amy Martin, Brittany Moody, Dylan Serkin Production Interns Kurt Armstrong, Autumn Northcraft ADVERTISING Director of Advertising Scott Wagner Display Account Executives Maria Boyer, Michael Donhowe, Carly Hutchens, Ryan Kingrey, Janet Norman, Kyle Owens, Sharri Miller Regan, Andrew Shenker Classifieds Account Executives Ashlee Horton, Corin Kuppler Advertising Assistant Ashley Grether Marketing & Events Manager Carrie Henderson Give!Guide Director Nick Johnson Production Assistant

Our mission: Provide Portlanders with an independent and irreverent understanding of how their worlds work so they can make a difference. Though Willamette Week is free, please take just one copy. Anyone removing papers in bulk from our distribution points will be prosecuted, as they say, to the full extent of the law. Willamette Week is published weekly by City of Roses Newspaper Company 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Main line phone: (503) 243-2122 fax: (503) 243-1115 Classifieds phone: (503) 223-1500 fax: (503) 223-0388

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Willamette Week welcomes freelance submissions. Send material to either News Editor or Arts Editor. Manuscripts will be returned if you include a self-addressed, stamped envelope. To be considered for calendar listings, notice of events must be received in writing by noon Wednesday, two weeks before publication. Send to Calendar Editor. Photographs should be clearly labeled and will be returned if accompanied by a selfaddressed, stamped envelope. Questions concerning circulation or subscription inquiries should be directed to Robert Lehrkind at Willamette Week. Postmaster: Send all address changes to Willamette Week, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Subscription rates: One year $100, six months $50. Back issues $5 for walk-ins, $8 for mailed requests when available. Willamette Week is mailed at third-class rates. A.A.N. Association of ALTERNATIVE NEWSWEEKLIES This newspaper is published on recycled newsprint using soy-based ink.

get some. MAIN STORE 706 SE MARTIN LUTHER KING JR. BLVD / 503.233.5973 / M-F 10-7 SAT 10-5 SUN 12-5 OUTLET STORE 534 SE BELMONT, 503.446.2205 / RIVERCITYBICYCLES.COM / OPEN EVERY DAY Willamette Week MAY 22, 2013 wweek.com

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A systematic treatment enhancement program using education, biosocial rhythms, cognitive therapy, and other mood regulation techniques for people with mood regulation difficulties.

OREGON’S FOOD-STAMP FRAUD

It’s important to keep in perspective the goal of the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program: to help families experiencing food insecurity make ends meet [“Counting Cards,” WW, May 15, 2013]. The audit revealed that public-assistance programs like SNAP operate with 99.98 percent integrity in Oregon. The federal government has the bulk of the authority to legally investigate fraud, especially those committed at the retailer level. Fraud is unacceptable, but let’s resist the urge to vilify struggling families. Every effort should be made to prevent fraud. Let’s not overreact and create a lengthy and bureaucratic process that unduly burdens the vast majority of SNAP recipients that use the program responsibly. I just wished the credit and subprime mortgage industries would have exercised the same degree of integrity as SNAP did in Oregon. —“NativeEastsider” Part of the solution to this is to expand what you can buy using those Electronic Benefit Transfer cards. They do not cover such things as toilet paper, toothpaste, paper towels, basic toiletries. Expand the ability to buy those, and I can bet some “missing cards” would no longer go missing. —“Troy Phillips”

PORTLAND LOO AND YOU

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I’m a big fan of the Portland Loo, and have found them convenient to use a few times [“Money Bucket,” WW, May 15, 2013]. They offer enough shelter and privacy to get the job done, but not enough for drug-dealing or sleeping. They don’t

require self-cleaning technologies, just a hose to wash them off. If the city won’t market them, I sure will. Go to one and watch the number of people who use it. Then picture those people (if the loo wasn’t there) walking into neighboring shops or restaurants to ask if they have a restroom. At off hours, or if they’re drunk, picture those people finding a bush, back alley or storefront in which to do their business. I suspect the loos provide a more functional, safer and cleaner city for all of us. I would love some hard data to back that up. —“Charley Lucas” This is what happens when so-called leaders forget how to say no, or when there is no one around to stop them. Crazed individuals (toilet = bubbler, really?) will team up with an enabler (here, Randy Leonard) to gold-plate public facilities and turn them into white elephants, while giving themselves and their collaborators jobs. —“Moretubemoreholes”

CLEANING UP THE MUSTARD

Isn’t that nice to use a four-letter word about the Catholic nuns and their mustard [“Yellow Bellies,” WW, May 15, 2013]. You should be ashamed of yourselves. But I did find a four-letter word for your publication: The Willamette Wipe. Alfred Novacek Northeast Portland LETTERS TO THE EDITOR must include the author’s street address and phone number for verification. Letters must be 250 or fewer words. Submit to: 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Fax: (503) 243-1115. Email: mzusman@wweek.com

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What is this Union Cab company, with its splashy periwinkle and orange sherbet-colored cars? Can Union be trusted? And who gave it permission to operate here? —Night Cabbie in SE Your signature suggests you may have a dog in this fight, Cabbie—though I suppose it’s possible you’re taking poetic license, sort of like when I drop an “Order of the British Empire” between my name and my prisoner ID number. Union Cab is a real company. Like Radio Cab, it’s run as a co-op, with drivers—many of whom are former affiliates of Broadway Cab—owning their own vehicles. Since you asked, the permission to operate came last fall, when the Portland City Council created 78 new taxi permits for the Rose City, 50 of which went to Union. At the time, officials made the case that the increase in total cabs would meet

a “significant unmet need” for more taxis. As someone who drove a cab in Portland for the better part of a year (before I was caught in a compromising position with a cuscus in the Oregon Zoo parking lot), I admit, Cabbie, that I share a portion of your skepticism. In my experience, the vast majority of folks who think they can’t get a cab in Portland are calling at bar-30 on weekend nights—many on New Year’s Eve. Should we bolster the city fleet to meet this level of demand 24/7? As a new cabbie, I drove weeknights, and the only unmet need I saw was getting enough fares to make my rent. Union Cab seems like a nice company, and I wish it all the best. Still, if TriMet wasn’t too cool to do one last run outbound from downtown at, say, 2:45 am—even just on weekends—we wouldn’t be having this conversation. QUESTIONS? Send them to dr.know@wweek.com

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Willamette Week MAY 22, 2013 wweek.com

BUSINESS: The port’s real problem with West Hayden Island. SCHOOLS: The arts-tax shell game costs some schools. COMMUNICATIONS: CenturyLink wants to cut maintenance. CITY HALL: Hales’ plans to shake down panhandlers.

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City Commissioner Steve Novick is ready to flush Portland’s toilet-sales department. The newest member of the City Council says the efforts to market the patent sidewalk commode known as the Portland Loo to other cities is failing. Novick says he is responding to our cover story last week NOVICK (“Money Bucket,” WW, May 15, 2013) that showed the city has sold only three of the $90,000 loos in three years—and would need to quadruple that rate to cover the maintenance costs of six loos the city operates around town. Novick says he’s asking Mayor Charlie Hales to end the loo sales program and instead restore the Bureau of Environmental Services’ Clean Rivers Education Program, providing wetlands field trips to students. “It doesn’t seem like loo sales are going to take off,” Novick says. “And the rivers education program is very popular.” Hales’ office says it wants to let the loo sales program die a quiet death. Dept. of Shameless SelfPromotion, 2013 Edition: WW won 18 first-place awards at the Society of Professional Journalists banquet May 18. Among Pacific Northwest alternative weeklies, WW won first place in 10 of 11 categories. Crime and justice reporting: Andrea Damewood, “The First 30 Seconds” (Dec. 12, 2012), police dealing with the mentally ill. Business reporting: Damewood, “Rent a Pup” (Nov. 14, 2012), on the Hannah Pet Society. Government and politics reporting: Aaron Mesh, “When Stacks Attack” (Aug. 1, 2012), on the Multnomah County Library taxing district. Environmental and science reporting: Corey Pein, “Fisherman’s Wrath” (June 13, 2012), on the Oregon gillnet industry. Personalities reporting: Pein, “The Evolution of Eileen Brady” (March 7, 2012), on the then-mayoral candidate. Arts reporting: WW staff, “Art Breaker” (Sept. 12, 2012), in which fine artists go slumming. Critiques and reviews: Chris Stamm, “Aged and Warped” (Aug. 1, 2012), in which he listened to every Warped Tour compilation. Lifestyles reporting: Martin Cizmar, “Beer of the Future” (Feb. 15, 2012), on revolutionary Oregon-grown hop varieties. Sports reporting: John Locanthi, “Chip Kelly’s Secret Offense” (Dec. 19, 2012), on University of Oregon boosters’ dislike of the then-football coach. Special section: WW staff, “Take Me to the River” (May 2, 2012), our photo essay about the Willamette. WW also won eight awards among Oregon non-dailies with circulations above 8,000. Comprehensive coverage: WW staff, ongoing investigation into the Columbia River Crossing. Science and health reporting: Ben Waterhouse, “Heretical Healing” (Jan. 11, 2012), a guide to alternative medicine. Environmental reporting: Pein, “Fisherman’s Wrath.” Religion and ethics reporting: Cizmar, “Confessions of a Chubster” (Jan. 11, 2012), the moral case for maintaining a healthy weight. Consumer and lifestyle reporting: Pete Cottell, “Magic Kingdom” (Sept. 5, 2012), on playing Magic: The Gathering as an adult. Arts criticism: Stamm, “Aged and Warped.” Business reporting: Damewood, “Rent a Pup.” Elections coverage: WW staff, the 2012 Portland mayoral race. Read more Murmurs and daily scuttlebutt.

GOT A GOOD TIP? CALL 503.445.1542, OR EMAIL NEWSHOUND@WWEEK.COM

VIVIANJOHNSON.COM

NEWS

TERMINAL SKEPTIC: Victor Viets has doubts about the Port of Portland’s plan to develop West Hayden Island for shipping. “Their track record isn’t good,” he says.

FANTASY ISLAND FORGET PROTECTING BIRDS AND FAUNA: THE PORT OF PORTLAND’S PLANS FOR DEVELOPING WEST HAYDEN ISLAND DON’T ADD UP. BY NIG E L JAQ UI SS

njaquiss@wweek.com

Victor Viets and Mayor Charlie Hales have a lot in common. Both used to work for large engineering firms in Portland and both are boating enthusiasts who have lived in Columbia River condos near where Interstate 5 crosses Hayden Island. Hales—who has so far spent most of his rookie year working on the city’s budget— will soon turn his attention to an issue that’s vexed the city for years: Should the city annex the western part of Hayden Island so the Port of Portland can spend $130 million to prepare the ground for new marine terminals? It’s an issue that has vexed Viets, too. But he has one big advantage over Hales:

Viets knows the port’s proposal inside out. Viets, who lives on nearby Tomahawk Island, over the past five years has served on two committees looking at the port’s plans. He’s heard repeated claims about the jobs that would be created if the city of Portland allows the port to transform 300 of Hayden Island’s 825 woodland acres into terminals for bulk commodities and vehicle imports. “They say this will create thousands of jobs,” Viets says. “What they leave out is that the project won’t lead to any manufacturing or involve products that have anything to do with Portland.” Most of the current debate about West Hayden Island has been about how the port would make up for environmental damage caused by its terminals. Meanwhile, city officials have barely debated the port’s claims all that public spending will pay off. Viets is the retired former head of the Portland office of URS Corp., an international engineering firm. URS does

infrastructure projects around the world, including big jobs for the ports of Los Angeles, Long Beach, Calif., and Portland, so Viets is no stranger to the rosy projections that government agencies use to justify spending. Although port officials say West Hayden Island could generate more than 1,000 new jobs, Viets is skeptical. Competing ports in Canada and the U.S. have deeper water, cheaper land and better labor relations. Viets adds that bulk commodities passing through Portland do little for the local economy. “We are talking about a no-value-added business,” Viets says. “The economic argument they are making just does not make a lot of sense.” Where does Viets get the information to draw these conclusions? The port’s own numbers. Ever since the port bought West Hayden Island from Portland General Electric in 1984, the port has sought to develop the land. In 1997, it announced plans for a

$700 million development project that would include new terminals for grain and container ships. The port abandoned that plan in 2000, but brought back a revamped plan in 2008. In 2010, the Portland City Council asked the Planning and Sustainability Commission to evaluate moving forward with a 300-acre development, while preserving the rest of the island as a wildlife refuge. That decision came at the height of politicians’ willingness to greenlight any project that promised jobs. The $130 million in public money would cover environmental mitigation and basic infrastructure, such as roads, to prepare the site. The port is hoping that terminals—ideally paid for by shipping companies—would be built later. Instead of looking at rosy projections of the future, Viets looked backward. He loaded 30 years of port data on imports of automobiles and exports of grain, containers and bulk minerals onto his computer. The result was an analysis of the port’s marine operations he presented to the Portland Planning and Sustainability Commission meeting May 7. “The Port of Portland is not growing,” Viets said in written testimony. “With the exception of their Terminal 5 bulk minerals tenant, the port has actually been losing business for the last 32 years.” And the decline, he says, has occurred for reasons that a new terminal at West Hayden Island would not fix. Grain exports are 10 percent lower than they were 30 years ago and 20 percent below peak levels in the mid-1980s and 1990s. Automobile imports have grown at an annual rate of 0.4 percent. The shipping of containers—the 20-foot-long steel boxes that can hold any number of products—is a dying business in Portland. Viets notes that port figures show container exports have declined steadily for 18 years, and are now at the same level they were in 1989. The one bright spot in port figures—the export of bulk minerals, mostly Canadian potash—is a mixed blessing. Shipping potash creates few jobs. Mile-long unit trains roll down from Canada and deliver their cargo into ships, a largely mechanized process. Port officials see the numbers differently. Josh Thomas, a port spokesman, says grain and bulk mineral exports terminals are operating at full capacity and undergoing expansion. “The long-term trend is that a lot of commodities will flow down the Columbia River,” Thomas says. But ECONorthwest, a local consulting firm, echoed some Viets’ concerns in a study the city paid for last year. “The goods currently expected to flow through West Hayden Island (autos, grain or dry bulk) will not come from local firms or end up in local stores,” ECONorthwest CONT. on page 8 Willamette Week MAY 22, 2013 wweek.com

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wrote in June 2012. “As currently envisioned, [West Hayden Island] will generate few local user benefits.” ECONorthwest also noted that the port has enough existing capacity to more than double vehicle imports, although that is one of the operations the port would like to place on West Hayden Island. Susie Lahsene, the port’s manager of transportation and land-use policy, says even if the new terminals move primarily bulk commodities, there would be 1,000 new direct jobs on West Hayden Island. She adds there would be many more indirect jobs created for legal, financial and other service providers who would work to support the new terminals. Lahsene says critics and the public may not understand the port’s role in assembling industrial land that provides a place for private companies to make profits. For example, Columbia Grain operates on port property, sending millions of tons of grain abroad every year. Those shipments provide economic benefits to far-flung farmers, railroad workers, tugboat crews and a variety of others whose paychecks don’t show up in the port’s financial statements but are a benefit to Oregon’s economy. “We are a facilitator,” Lahsene says of the port’s role. “We create jobs and revenue for the community.” Viets, however, sees the push for the development of West

HAYDEN ISLAND Proposed Terminal

5 VANCOUVER

NORTH PORTLAND

Columbia River

Hayden Island in the context of other expensive and risky projects the port promoted that turned out to be costly missteps. In the early 1980s, for example, the port subsidized a coal export terminal on its property, which turned out to be a fiasco. So, too, did its big investment in a dry dock at Swan Island and an airport maintenance facility, called PAMCOR, at Portland International Airport. More recently, the port promoted the dredging of the Columbia River channel to deepen it to 43 feet. The port claimed a bigger generation of ships would ply the Columbia, but the project has not yet had a major effect on the port’s fortunes. The port’s Lahsene agrees that investing port resources in future commodity trends is a risk. But she notes that even when the port gets it wrong, it’s been able to see some benefit despite the losses: The port’s old shipyard is thriving under private ownership, the failed coal dock is now a bulk mineral terminal, and Boeing is leasing the aircraft maintenance facility. “We are in a long-term business,” she says. But Viets sees another parallel at work. The debate before the city has been about how the port would mitigate the environmental harm caused by paving nearly half of the natural area on West Hayden Island. The lengthy, convoluted process echoes the proposed Columbia River Crossing, the planned replacement of the Interstate 5 Bridge between Oregon and Washington. Years of public debate focused on the design of the bridge while obscuring basic questions about whether the tolling and traffic projections justifying the project were correct. (They were not.) Viets says an 825-acre island located in a city is “irreplaceable” and not suitable for what amounts to land speculation. Viets says Hales spent a half-hour on his doorstep when campaigning for mayor. If he gets a chance to talk to Hales again before the council votes on annexing West Hayden Island, he says he will offer simple advice: “I’d say we just don’t need it.” 8

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Willamette Week MAY 22, 2013 wweek.com

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OUT OF TUNE: Portland Public Schools music teacher Eric Schopmeyer says he’s concerned some schools are seeing cuts in arts education. “Arts positions that were already there before the arts tax are being cut,” he says.

THE ARTS AX AS YOU PAY YOUR $35, SOME PORTLAND SCHOOLS WILL SEE FEWER ARTS TEACHERS THAN LAST YEAR.

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Willamette Week MAY 22, 2013 wweek.com

ssneath@wweek.com

Portland voters gave their blessing to a $35-a-person tax last fall on the promise the money would be used to restore arts and music to the city’s public schools. So imagine the surprise of Eric Schopmeyer, a full-time music teacher at Kelly Elementary School in Southeast Portland. On May 16, Schopmeyer says, he got a letter from Portland Public Schools informing him he would be cut to half-time next year. He had believed his school would be receiving an additional half-time art teacher, in addition to his full-time position. “I certainly don’t think anyone who wrote their $35 check is going to be pleased when they hear their neighborhood school is going to have less arts than before,” Schopmeyer tells WW. School officials tell WW as many as 15 elementary schools will see a reduction in arts teaching staff next year in the budget the School Board approved May 20. That’s because PPS officials had already shifted money away from arts teaching positions, assuming they would see the entire $4.5 million expected from the arts tax this year. Under an agreement with the city, PPS will get only $3 million as a stopgap in case the arts tax doesn’t survive a court challenge. (The city will guarantee $1.5 million if the arts tax is struck down.) The money covers the 30 arts teaching positions in elementary schools now, but some of those positions are being spread around, thinning arts instructions in the 15 schools. “We’re quite disappointed,” says Jen Soares, co-treasurer of Llewellyn Elementary PTA. “We already have a half-time music teacher, and we had hoped he would go to full-time. Now, he’ll be reduced further.” PPS spokeswoman Erin Barnett says some elementary schools that had no arts instructions will see at least a half-time teacher next year. “We hope that the arts tax is going to be fully corrected,” Barnett says. “We would like to see the intention of the voters realized. That was our hope and plan when we did our budget.” Barnett says full arts-tax funding could mean restoring positions lost at some schools this year. But the fine print of the arts tax never promised full-time arts teachers to all elementary schools. It instead proposed funding one full-time arts teacher for every 500 students. Smaller schools that have seen cuts may never get their arts funding back. That’s what worries Schopmeyer: that the district’s budget takes money it once spent on arts teachers and commits it elsewhere, money that may not be there in the future. His school, Kelly, has a high rate of students eligible for free and reduced meals. Schopmeyer says parents there are less likely to be able to raise private funds for arts teachers than schools in more affluent areas. “It ends up being an equity issue,” he says. “It ends up hurting the poorer schools.”

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NO PURCHASE NECESSARY; void where prohibited. Must be legal WA or OR residents, 18 years or older who are in a band at time of entry/winning. To enter, visit amplifiedcontest.com and complete an Official Online Entry Form. Entry Period ends 11:59 p.m. PT on May 26, 2013. For complete details, see Official Rules at amplifiedcontest.com/rules. Sponsor: Microsoft Corporation, One Microsoft Way, Redmond, WA 98052.

facebook.com/microsoftstore

twitter.com/microsoftstore Willamette Week MAY 22, 2013 wweek.com

COMMUNICATIONS W W S TA F F

NEWS

TANGLED WEB: Urban utility poles often carry equipment for five or six providers. CenturyLink wants to roll back how often it spends money to maintain its equipment and poles around Oregon.

DOWN TO THE WIRE

CENTURYLINK WANTS TO SCRIMP ON MAINTENANCE IN OREGON. UNIONS AND UTILITIES SAY IT’S A BAD IDEA. BY N IGEL JAQU ISS

GREAT LOCAL MUSIC

The Pavilion at CityFair Tom McCall Waterfront Park

May 25-27 May 3-June 2 June 6-9 Grab a Rogue Rose Festival Ale and enjoy: Patrick Lamb Band - May 25 Tribute Bands - May 26, June 2, June 7 Indie Rock - June 8 & 9 Schedules & Info at

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Willamette Week MAY 22, 2013 wweek.com

njaquiss@wweek.com

CenturyLink, the biggest provider of landline telephone and Internet service in Oregon, has made an extraordinary request of state regulators: Let us put off repair of utility poles for 10 years—five times the current standard. Utility poles and the wires strung between them are hardly the first thing that comes to mind for most Oregonians. But the million-plus poles in the state are a big worry for the thousands of workers whose safety could be put at risk by having to work on rundown, decaying poles and equipment. And the plea—made by the phone company to state regulators in January—is a possible sign of trouble for consumers as well. CenturyLink has asked the Oregon Public Utility Commission for permission to put off the routine maintenance because it says it cannot afford to do the work. Separately, CenturyLink also acknowledges its corporate debts have given it little financial room in which to maneuver. The company’s request concerns other utilities, who say putting off basic maintenance for a decade to cut costs sets a bad precedent. “They are cutting corners,” says Gary Nieborsky, operations manager for Central Lincoln People’s Utility District in Newport, of CenturyLink’s proposal. CenturyLink, based in Monroe, La., serves phone customers in 37 states and posted revenues last year of $18.4 billion. In 2011, the company bought out Qwest, the dominant landline provider in Oregon, for $24 billion. According to state figures, CenturyLink serves 64 percent of Oregon landline customers, more than three times the market share of its next biggest rival, Frontier Communications.

But CenturyLink has been steadily seeing customers hang up on the company. The phone utility (and before that, Qwest) has lost more than half its Oregon customers between 2002 and 2011. Its in-state revenues declined by almost a third, from $925 million to $640 million over the same period. Meanwhile, the company is carrying massive debt after its heavily leveraged buyout of Qwest. CenturyLink cannot reverse the wireless revolution that has led consumers to abandon landlines. But it can try to cut costs. In its annual report last year, CenturyLink noted that the heavy borrowing to buy Qwest and a similar phone company in Kansas had left the company heavily leveraged. “Our high debt levels pose risks to our viability and may make us more vulnerable to adverse economic and competitive conditions, as well as other adverse developments,” the company said in its 2012 annual report. In PUC filings, the publicly traded company asked Oregon regulators to extend the time allowed to make repairs from two to 10 years “when such violations pose little or no foreseeable risk of danger to life or property,” wrote CenturyLink’s Oregon regulatory affairs director, Ron L. Trullinger. “The burdensome costs associated with the current operation of the rules are unnecessary and unreasonable,” Trullinger added. CenturyLink spokesman Martin Flynn said in a statement that the company simply wants extra time for repairs that “do not pose imminent danger to anyone. CenturyLink values public safety, the safety of its employees and we remain committed to the safety of our facilities.” Oregon’s two biggest utilities, PGE and PacifiCorp, have taken no position on CenturyLink’s request. But PUC staff opposes CenturyLink’s request and has recommended that the three-member regulatory board, which is appointed by the governor, reject it. The request will get a hearing May 31. Unions that represent communications workers are fighting the plan out of concerns about safety. “There is no excuse for saying, ‘We’re going to push anything safety related out farther into the future,’” says Marcy Grail of the International Brotherhood of Electrical Workers Local 125, which represents 2,100 workers in Oregon. “When you are talking about risking people’s safety to maximize profits, it’s unacceptable.”

DRIVE IT. LEAVE IT. REPEAT.

Between where you are and where you want to be, there’s car2go. Just take a car2go when you need it, and leave it when you’re done. For a limited time, get lifetime membership plus 30 minutes of drive time for just $10. Visit portland.car2go.com and use promo code: SPRING13.

OFFER ENDS JUNE 9 Must be 18 years or older to register. Must have a valid U.S. driver’s license. Free minutes of driving time are valid for 60 days after credited to an account, unless otherwise noted.

Willamette Week MAY 22, 2013 wweek.com

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CITY HALL

KURT ARMSTRONG

CHANGE IS HARD

NEWS

HALES PLEDGES TO FIGHT PANHANDLING DOWNTOWN. IT’S NOT CLEAR HOW HE WINS. BY AARON MESH

amesh@wweek.com

No matter where he travels, the street kid known as Kidd always knows where he wants to end up. With a ragged goatee and barely as tall as a sidewalk mailbox, Kidd, who is in his early 20s, says he moves from city to city. But he has spent most of the past three years living on he street in Portland, asking passersby for a dollar in front of downtown businesses. In case he gets lost, he has a return address of sorts written on his gray T-shirt in green marker. “My name is Kidd,” it reads. “I’m too wasted to know where I live. Please return me to SW 3rd, Portland, 97204.” Kidd and the street youth like him are the reason downtown businesses say belligerent panhandling by street youth scares away customers. But Kidd says he takes as much abuse as he dishes out. “When somebody gets aggressive and we get up and beat ’em,” he says, “then we look like the bad guys. Then you go to jail because you got in a fair fight.” Kidd’s next fight may be rigged, too. It’s with Mayor Charlie Hales. Hales has listed fighting homelessness and taking on panhandlers such as Kidd among his top priorities as mayor, once he gets the city’s budget done. It’s a risky gambit: Every Portland mayor since Bud Clark has tried to deal with homelessness, panhandling or both. But each has failed to set benchmarks to measure success against an intractable social ill. Without such benchmarks, Hales runs the risk of appearing to appease downtown businesses—especially the Portland Business Alliance—without a clear goal in mind. The PBA has gone as far as to lobby Salem for a new law that will help Hales crack down on panhandlers by reviving the city’s controversial sit-lie ordinance struck down by the courts four years ago. PBA spokeswoman Megan Doern says her organization is targeting one specific group: the young “road warriors” who travel in street families through Portland each summer, shooting heroin and getting in fights. “There’s concern that Portland becomes an even bigger magnet for this population,” Doern says. “They’re not interested in services. They’re not interested in treatment. They’re not interested in housing. They’re interested in panhandling.” Michael Moore, a health advocate at Old Town homeless services nonprofit Sisters of the Road Cafe, says the PBA is

ANYTHING HELPS: Mayor Charlie Hales is signaling that he will launch a new effort to deal with homelessness and panhandling. The Portland Business Alliance hopes he revives the city’s controversial sit-lie ordinance.

scapegoating panhandlers as an excuse for the downtown economy not turning around. “Portland has this long history of trying to exclude people it sees as undesirable or bad for business,” Moore says. “This attempt sounds very much like a continuation of that.” At his first state of the city address last month, Hales said one of his top priorities this year would be “dealing effectively and humanely with the epidemic of panhandling and homelessness.” Hales declined to be interviewed about his upcoming strategy to deal with homelessness and panhandling—he says he will reveal more about his plans after he assigns city bureaus May 31. “Panhandling is a subset of the homelessness issue,” Hales tells WW in a statement. “But there are other aspects as well, including the so-called ‘travelers’ who come to Portland each summer. We will be working this year to fully understand the scope of the problem and to seek solutions.” Then-Mayor Tom Potter pushed through a city ordinance in 2007 that outlawed sitting or lying on the sidewalk from 7 am to 9 pm. A judge later ruled the sit-lie ordinance violated the Oregon Constitution and conflicted with state laws. No sooner did Hales arrive in office than the PBA lobbied for House Bill 2963, which would allow cities to make their own rules on sidewalk use. The bill has passed the Oregon House and is being considered in the Senate. The city never challenged the judge’s ruling on the ordinance’s constitutionality—Sam Adams was mayor at the

Give!Guide 2013!

Applicationts OPEN on Willamette Week’s 2013 Give!Guide June 1st @ wweek.com/giveguide

time and decided to let the controversy die. But during his election campaign, Hales gave hints the PBA could expect his support on the issue. In a questionnaire during the 2012 primary race, the PBA asked candidates if they supported “regulation of the sidewalk environment.” Other candidates gave long, equivocal answers. Hales’ one-word response: “Yes.” But without a clear measurement of success, Hales risks his political capital—and City Hall’s time and money—on a problem that, by all accounts, won’t go away. “The only way you can get to some kind of a win,” says Marc Jolin, executive director of transitional housing nonprofit JOIN, “is if you can get folks to agree that we’re looking at certain behaviors, rather than populations of people.” Brooke Howes, who owns the Italian food cart Built to Grill on a parking lot at Southwest 3rd Avenue and Washington Street—two blocks south of Kidd’s lamp post—says he sees street kids circle lone pedestrians and demand cash. He says some have even threatened to squirt syringes filled with blood on customers. “I don’t think this should be a circus,” he says. Last December, six street kids were arrested after a brawl broke out—some kids allegedly cut several food carts’ electrical and propane lines—and were confronted by cart owners. A few kids pulled knives. “I don’t want to impose on anyone’s rights,” Howes says. “But if the police would shake them down and search them, they’d find plenty of stuff. I had people trying to stab me— that’s not cool.”

A LL

M E T TE WE EK

GIVE! GUIDE 2013

Willamette Week MAY 22, 2013 wweek.com

BFA THESIS EXHIBITION

MFA THESIS EXHIBITIONS

May 26 –June 8

MFA IN VISUAL STUDIES THESIS EXHIBITION & MFA IN COLLABORATIVE DESIGN CAPSTONE EXHIBITION May 25 –June 9 Opening May 24, 6:00–9:00pm

PNCA Swigert Commons 1241 NW Johnson Street PNCA Cornelia & William T.C. Stevens Studio 1432 NW Johnson Street First Thursday, June 6, 6:00–9:00pm

Vigor Industrial Building 10, 5555 N Channel Ave Swan Island MFA IN APPLIED CRAFT AND DESIGN PRACTICUM EXHIBITION* May 17–May 25 404 SE 6th Ave

Visit cal.pnca.edu for exhibition hours 503 226 4391

Willamette Week MAY 22, 2013 wweek.com

*The MFA in Applied Craft and Design is offered jointly through PNCA and Oregon College of Art and Craft.

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Wednesday 5/22 Proper Movement Drums & Bass 10pm • free Thursday 5/23 Affable Gentlemen Storytelling 7pm • free Friday 5/24 End Humorlessness. A night of belly laughs to beneﬁt the Humane Society 7-9 $5 Suggested Donation Friday 5/24 Synchronicity Dutch. Electro. Tech 10pm • free Saturday 5/25 DIE ROBOT 80s Goth/Dark Wave Tuesday 5/28 Free Lecture: “Caffeinated PDX: The history of Portland’s love affair with coffee” 7pm • free Every Sunday and Monday: 2 hours of free pool • Happy Hour 7 days a week 4-7pm • $5 Burgers late night 11-close

DESIGNER FRAMES, NEAR WHOLESALE PRICES Willamette Week MAY 22, 2013 wweek.com

FOOD: Lake Oswego’s overrated barbecue joint. MUSIC: Sasquatch conflict resolution. BOOKS: Laurie Notaro on rudeness. MOVIES: Hangover Mad Libs.

21 23 38 39

SCOOP CARPETBAGGING COMEDIANS: AMC’s new reality series Showville bills itself as a chance for small-town Americans to get a shot at stardom—easy pickings for city slickers like the two Portland comedians who trucked 250 miles to audition for the show in Walla Walla, Wash. In October, Nathan Brannon and Tyrone “The Real Hyjinx” Collins brought their acts to Showville’s open call in rural eastern Washington. Collins—who says his mentor, Brannon, hatched the idea—landed in the final four. What did Walla Walla’s humble sweet onion-farming jugglers and prison-guarding magicians think of two big-city hustlers crashing the party? “They took me in and treated me well,” says Collins. Some townsfolk even asked him for pictures and autographs. Collins, who hosts a weekly open mic at Northeast 82nd Avenue’s Red Room, will appear on the June 6 episode.

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ART SHAMING: There’s trouble at the Pacific Northwest College of Art, where students and alumni have plastered bulletin boards with fliers accusing college President Tom Manley and top PNCA executives of giving themselves raises while leaving the adjuncts who actually teach classes underpaid and uninsured, all while raising tuition in a recession. Manley’s 2010 salary was reported as $218,368—up from $207,019 in 2008. “People are getting priced out while college education is becoming compulsory,” says Chloe Dietz, a student at PNCA who runs the website distributing the fliers, pnca.centralcentral.org. She says other people have downloaded the fliers to post around the Northwest Portland campus. Asked about the fliers, Manley wrote that PNCA will “continue to support our students…in the creative expression of their thinking and beliefs.” CLICK AND SEE: At wweek. com you’ll find a review of Mike Daisey’s new show, Journalism, which debuted in Portland, along with a recap of the new episode of The Real World: Portland and an explanation of why Portlandia sculptor Ray Kaskey gets paid when you buy a bottle of Laurelwood Portlandia Pils. CLARIFICATIONS: A photo accompanying last week’s review of Slide Inn (“Bar Spotlight,” WW, May 15, 2013) was from the adjoining Jade Lounge, which has the same owners and an overlapping menu, but is a different place. In a review of Portland Center Stage’s The People’s Republic of Portland (WW, May 8, 2013), Lauren Weedman’s mispronunciation and misnaming of this newspaper (“Will-uh-met Weekly”) was interpreted as accidental. Cynthia Fuhrman, who served as dramaturg for the production, tells us it was deliberate. Finally, last week’s interview with Mike Daisey (“Hotseat,” WW, May 15, 2013) characterized the monologuist as “weaselly.” Daisey emailed WW to note that he is “more like a plump otter.” WW regrets any confusion.

Willamette Week MAY 22, 2013 wweek.com

W W S TA F F

THIS GOSSIP JUST DELETED ITS TUMBLR.

HEADOUT

WILLAMETTE WEEK

WHAT TO DO THIS WEEK IN ARTS & CULTURE

PRIMUS PRIM US E YE EYE

THURSDAY MAY 23 VAMPIRE WEEKEND [MUSIC] As everyone freaked out over the new Daft Punk record last week, the Columbia-educated foursome casually released its best album yet. Modern Vampires of the City finds the group without prep-school gimmickry and Afro-pop appropriation, instead revealing a self-assured pop craftsmanship. Keller Auditorium, 222 SW Clay St., 800-745-3000. 8 pm. $49.50. All ages.

Veteran thrash-funk outfit Primus brings a 3-D show to the Schnitz. Stare at this Magic Eye-like stereographic image until you’re there.

JULIA SWEENEY [BOOKS] Julia Sweeney, SNL’s Pat, explores the comedic fodder of her own life, such as meeting her husband via email and the adoption of her Chinese daughter. She’ll read from her new book, If It’s Not One Thing, It’s Your Mother. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 2284651. 7:30 pm. Free.

FRIDAY MAY 24 BEAUX ARTS CLUB [THEATER] Imago co-founder Carol Triffle—who’s known for her fearlessness and absurdist sense of humor— presents an original black comedy about three bored 19th-century housewives whose teatime takes an unexpected turn when one woman traps a man in her new art installation. Imago Theatre, 17 SE 8th Ave., 231-3959. 8 pm. Free, $10-$20 suggested donation. DANNY BROWN [MUSIC] Even putting aside recent controversies, the Detroit MC is still the wildest thing in hip-hop right now, with an elastic, nasally flow and a deranged sense of humor. Let’s just hope he’s learned to keep his pants zipped tight when he hits the stage. Hawthorne Theatre, 1507 SE 39th Ave., 233-7100. 8 pm. $16 advance, $20 day of show. All ages. PORTLAND ROSE FESTIVAL FAIR [FESTIVAL] Rides! Games! Parades! Kettle corn! Crying children! A fake hippie-folk shaman! A fake soul band! C’mon, you know you love it. Tom McCall Waterfront Park, Southwest Naito Parkway. Prices vary. Through June 9.

SATURDAY MAY 25 DANSE DU VENTRE [DANCE] Like a pint-sized Johnny Weir without the ice skates, French belly dancer Illan Rivière headlines this collaboration between Portlandbased belly-dance journal From the Hip and Narcissa Productions. Rivière, 20, bends and twists his tiny body in a fusion tribal style that’s modern but still references belly dancing’s roots. Alberta Rose Theatre, 3000 NE Alberta St., 7196055. 8 pm. $25-$30.

TUESDAY MAY 28

GO: Primus 3-D is at the Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, 1037 SW Broadway, 248-4335, on Saturday, May 25. 7 pm. $42.50-$53. All ages.

MUSICFESTNW LAUNCH PARTY WITH CHVRCHES [MUSIC] Come to discover the lineup for Portland’s biggest annual music festival, stay for the rising Glaswegian synth-pop outfit. Wonder Ballroom, 128 NE Russell St., 284-8686. 7:30 pm. $8 advance, $10 day of show. All ages.

Willamette Week MAY 22, 2013 wweek.com

FOOD & DRINK EAT MOBILE KURT ARMSTRONG

= WW Pick. Highly recommended. By KAITIE TODD. PRICES: $: Most entrees under $10. $$: $10-$20. $$$: $20-$30. $$$$: Above $30. Editor: MARTIN CIZMAR. Email: dish@wweek.com. See page 3 for submission instructions.

WEDNESDAY, MAY 22 Elysian Brewing Night

“ ...Because Beer Is Good!”

12-12 Sunday – Thursday & 12-1am Friday – Saturday NE 22nd & Alberta

Seattle-based Elysian Brewing Co. takes over the handles at Fifteenth Avenue Hophouse with free samples and discounted pints. Elysian will pour standards like Avatar Jasmine IPA and Dragonstooth Stout, as well as some of its new and seasonal beers, including Superfuzz Blood Orange Pale Ale and Space Dust IPA. Fifteenth Avenue Hophouse, 1517 NE Brazee St., 971-266-8392. 5-11 pm. 21+.

SATURDAY, MAY 25 Tempura and Noodle Secrets

Have you ever wanted to make the classiest of fried appetizers at home? Learn to batter and fry veggies and seafood the Japanese way, plus rice balls and soba noodle soup. Registration required. Miso Magic, School of Japanese and Thai Cooking, 1332 SE 42nd Ave., 8676367. 1-3:30 pm. $70.

Boedecker Cellars Spring Release Celebration

Carlton’s Boedecker Cellars releases a new vintage through its Northwest Portland tasting room. There will be food pairings for seven of its wines, including Reflection pinot noir rosé and 2010 Cherry Grove Vineyard pinot noir. Boedecker Cellars, 2621 NW 30th Ave., 866-0095. 11 am-5 pm. $10.

Hip Chicks do Wine

Hip Chicks do Wine releases three new offerings, and offers samples of 12 of its previous releases. The event will include additional tastings from Tiernan Connor Cellars, as well as appetizers and live music. Hip Chicks Do Wine, 4510 SE 23rd Ave., 234-3790. 11 am-8 pm. $15.

SUNDAY, MAY 26 Fill My Fridge

Southeast Hawthorne’s Bazi Bierbrasserie celebrates its second birthday by getting licensed to sell to-go bottles and growlers. This party will also feature a few of Double Mountain’s sought-after Four Horsemen four-packs for sale. Bazi Bierbrasserie, 1522 SE 32nd Ave., 2348888, bazipdx.com. 4-10 pm. Free.

MONDAY, MAY 27 Beer and Cake Pairing

For the second day of its birthday celebration, Bazi Bierbrasserie proprietress Hilda Stevens unveils the special saison she made with Bryan Keilty of Lompoc Brewing. “Forbidden Fruit” was made with 64 gallons of black currant and a secret Belgian yeast. The beer will be paired with chocolate cake from nearby JaCiva’s. Bazi Bierbrasserie 1522 SE 32nd Ave., 234-8888, bazipdx.com. 4-10 pm. Free.

TUESDAY, MAY 28 Cooking for a Crowd

Learn how to keep your cool when cooking a dinner for up to 20 people. This three-hour class will take you through how to prepare a potato, green bean and pesto salad, Moroccan chicken and chocolate tarts with raspberries, with a lesson on knife skills included. Hipcooks Portland, 3808 N Williams Ave., Suite 120, 621-1400. 6-9 pm. $60.

Willamette Week MAY 22, 2013 wweek.com

BY GEORGIA: Proper khinkali-eating technique.

KARGI GOGO Perhaps in keeping with their precarious geography, located at the Asian-European border between Turkey and Russia, Georgians are known both for their quick hospitality and equal speed at giving you the knife. At Kargi Gogo, a new downtown cart serving Georgian street food, the knife comes with a fork. Kargi Gogo (Georgian for “good girl”) is pure comfort fare. Case in point: Georgia’s national dish, khachapuri ($6), is basically a grilled cheese sandwich—a partly pickled blend of Georgian cow-milk Order this: Supra! Also Borjomi Georgian cheeses curdy enough to be goat, melted mineral water. into toasted flatbread. It is as if the native pungency of a farm has been distilled into bread and cream, and it is wonderful. The cart’s khinkali ($6) is soup, meatball and dumpling at once. The broth-filled teardrops of dough must be bitten into and slurped from upside down before one can safely finish the meal of bitter herbal beef and pork. (Note: Do not wear white while eating or it will get spotted with broth.) Meanwhile, the garlicky badrijani ($6) is a vegan version of baconwalnut hors d’oeuvres. Rolled strips of eggplant fill in the savory notes, while seeds of decadent pomegranate add a tart wallop. The cart’s owners are not Georgians but rather a pair of friendly Midwestern former Peace Corps volunteers who learned to cook while partaking in any of a number of supras, which are lengthy Georgian feasts. A “supra” containing a bit of each item on the menu is available for $8, and it’s the best option. Eaten individually, each item seems like a large-portioned appetizer; served together they are, if not a feast, certainly a lovely peace offering. MATTHEW KORFHAGE. EAT: Kargi Gogo, 950 SW Washington St., 489-8432, kargigogo.com. 11:30 am-5:30 pm Monday-Friday, noon-4 pm Saturday. $.

DRANK

PIPEWRENCH IPA (GIGANTIC BREWING) One of the problems with the cutting edge of brewing is, you’re just as likely to get nicked yourself. Gigantic Brewing, with its eclectic array of brewing oddities and schizophrenic label designs, has suffered its share of growing pains. It’s not that Gigantic’s offerings don’t stand out, it’s that the quality hasn’t necessarily lived up to the brewery’s grand ambitions. Consider Pipewrench IPA the breakthrough for the Southeast Portland brewhouse. While IPAs aged in oak or old Champagne barrels aren’t new, they certainly aren’t common. IPAs are generally characterized by floral and citrus notes, flavors not necessarily enhanced by long rests in bourbon and rum barrels. But want to know what liquor is floral and pairs well with citrus? Gin. The pairing works even more gloriously than you’d expect. Gigantic plopped its medium-bodied IPA into Old Tom Gin barrels from Sheridan-based Ransom Spirits. The result of all those floral and herbal notes bouncing back and forth is marvelous. The gin notes are hinted at, and the result is a bright, drinkable IPA perfect for summery weather. The beer is limited—only two kegs are currently available—but I’m hoping Pipewrench enters Gigantic’s everyday rotation. Recommended. JORDAN GREEN.

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shed and has an odd but functional layout. Patrons order while standing at the counter in a small room in front of the kitchen, then choose between a raft of picnic tables situated on wood chips out BY M A RT I N C I Z M A R mcizmar@wweek.com front, or head to an indoor dining area a few doors down. Cheerwine and Coke are available at the Earlier this month, Stephen Colbert’s sister lost main counter; you can get real wine and beer from a congressional election to philandering former the nearby Plaid Pantry. Service is brusque. The South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford. In response, clientele is what you’d expect in a conservativethe TV host shunned his home state, declaring leaning suburb, down to the teenage boy in an NRA shirt. Diners eat with disallegiance to its northern neighposable utensils and dump their bor. To mark the switch, ColOrder this: Spare ribs ($12) with trash into one big bin. bert set aside South Carolina’s ranch beans and cornbread. beloved mustard-based barbe- I’ll pass: Desserts, fatty brisket Pork ribs ($12 for a small cue sauce, force-feeding himself and syrupy barbecue sauce that order) are the best meat option: like ketchup mixed with a a forkful of the North Carolina tastes moist and meaty with a perfectly little Worcestershire sauce. “sauceless, vinegar-based meat blackened bark. Beef ribs ($12 for product that they call barbecue.” a small order), on the other hand, It sounds silly—but that’s how seriously some are skimpy on firm, smoky meat. That’s a common people take barbecue. I’m among them, which is problem with beef ribs, of course, but given that why Portland Monthly’s declaration that, “Sur- Pine Shed advertises them as “extra meaty,” I’d prise! The best barbecue in PDX lives in Lake hoped for better. Oswego” grabbed my attention. Order the pork ribs with spicy ranch beans The restaurant the Monthly anointed, Pine ($3) and a hunk of cornbread ($2), which has the Shed Ribs, has never been the subject of a full texture of fluffy grits inside a dark, crispy crust. professional review. Portland also has several very Avoid the smashed potatoes, served with a thin good barbecue restaurants, including Northeast’s and salty dark brown gravy that gets boring after Podnah’s Pit, WW’s 2011 Restaurant of the Year, a few bites, and the chalky macaroni and cheese. and Northwest’s Smokehouse 21. Pine Shed serves Brisket was hit and miss on both visits. Half a few nice slabs. But after two trips to the old sub- our slices were perfectly juicy and smoky, a few urban plaza that houses it, I’m certain the only were a little dry, and several were about oneway it would have the “best barbecue in PDX” is if third fat. Sausages, lightly smoked and otherwise it opened a location at the airport. typical, are good. Two chicken quarters were big Barbecue is, of course, a controversial and and moist but light on smoke and heavy on the provincial foodstuff where personal preference house’s syrupy sauce. is often presented as orthodoxy. But, regionalAnd then there are the desserts: They might ism aside, pulled pork is supposed to be pulled or be good when fresh, but after spending some time chopped, not slopped out with one piece of uncut being mummified by the cool, dry refrigerator, black bark nearly the size of the sandwich bun it the berry cobbler’s stale crust had all the flavor sits on. Likewise, serving a pulled-pork sandwich of sugar-free cake, while a snickerdoodle cookie ($10 with one side) on ciabatta bread isn’t tradi- was hard enough to pound a nail. tional, but I’d look past that if the bun was toasted All those flaws aside, in much of the northern enough to prevent the interior from turning into half of the country, Pine Shed might still stand mush. And, in Texas, where you specify “fatty” among the better barbecue joints in any given town. or “lean” brisket, even the fatty cut of brisket (at Thankfully, though, PDX isn’t among them. Pine Shed, $10 for a half pound or a plate) is usually trimmed of thumb-sized hunks of white lard. EAT: Pine Shed Ribs, 17730 Pilkington Road, Lake Oswego, 635-7427, pineshedribs.com. 11 am-until The restaurant is outfitted to look like a garden sold out. $$.

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Willamette Week MAY 22, 2013 wweek.com

MAY 22–28 FEATURE

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MUSIC

Prices listed are sometimes for advance ticket sales. At-the-door increases and socalled convenience charges may apply. Event lineups are subject to change after WW’s press deadlines. Editor: MATTHEW SINGER. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, go to wweek.com/ submitevents and follow submission directions. All shows should be submitted two weeks or more in advance of event. Press kits, CDs and especially vinyl can be sent to Music Desk, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Please include show or release date information with all physical mailings. Email: msinger@wweek.com. Fax: 243-1115.

WEDNESDAY, MAY 22

THURSDAY, MAY 23

Freedy Johnston, Blue-Eyed Son, Ezra Holbrook, Brothers of the Hound

Devendra Banhart, Rodrigo Amarante

[SINGER-SONGWRITER] “I know I’ve got a bad reputation,” sang Freedy Johnston in 1994, “and it isn’t just talk.” But the opposite’s true of the durable artist himself, who seems as easygoing and unaﬀected as his smooth vocal style. His real problem is a lack of reputation: Perhaps that relaxed manner undersells the man’s talent for literate, emotionally acute tunesmithery, resulting in bookings at such, er, intimate venues as the White Eagle. Nonetheless, longtime loyalists will welcome new material he is likely to share from gloriously named forthcoming album Neon Repairman. JEFF ROSENBERG. White Eagle Saloon, 836 N Russell St., 282-6810. 8:30 pm. $12. 21+.

Youth Lagoon, Majical Cloudz

[PSYCHEDELIC ROCK] Wondrous Bughouse, the latest release from Trevor Powers, aka Youth Lagoon, is a kooky mind job. Half the tracks sound like they were sprung from a bad acid trip, while the rest seem born of a collaboration of Gene Wilder’s Willy Wonka and Thom Yorke at his craziest. Throughout, Powers contemplates the great mysteries of the universe and what really constitutes good and evil. And the melting pot of rock, pop, synths and random sonic ﬂourishes makes for the perfect accompaniment to the malaise in his mind. The music of Youth Lagoon might be heavy on contemplation, overly random and low on momentum or any real cohesiveness, but it’s fun to try and ﬁgure out what the hell he’s talking about. BRIAN PALMER. Wonder Ballroom, 128 NE Russell St., 284-8686. 8 pm. $13 advance, $15 day of show.

[FREAK-FOLK SURVIVOR] For years, Devendra Banhart was the face of freak folk. Literally: Sporting a rat’s nest of a beard and an acid-dipped hippie-shaman persona, the shambling troubadour was the physical manifestation of the woolly subgenre. In recent years, though, Banhart has tried to distance himself from the music he helped define: His recent press photos find him short-haired and relatively clean-shaven, wearing a buttonedup flannel shirt. Songwriting-wise, too, he’s branched out, to varying degrees of success. What Will We Be in 2009 was a mess of super-chilledout musical globetrotting. New album Mala is similarly all over the place, but Banhart pulls the threads together more tightly. And, for the first time in a few albums, he actually seems to have been awake during the recording sessions. MATTHEW SINGER. Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside St., 225-0047. 8 pm. $25. All ages.

Baths, Houses, D33J

[UNLIKELY BEATMAKER] Having grown up in Los Angeles’ San Fernando Valley—birthplace of the Valley Girl and porn capital of the world—I can say with authority that the area is not exactly an artistic breeding ground. And yet, the Valley has produced two of the burgeoning L.A. beat scene’s standard-bearers: Flying Lotus and Baths, aka 24-yearold Will Wiesenfeld. Where FlyLo’s beats are glassy-eyed and bass-heavy, Baths’ are starry-eyed and shimmery, with airy falsetto vocals accompanying song titles like “Lovely Bloodﬂow.” Wiesenfeld’s 2010 debut was called Cerulean; his follow-up, Obsidian, comes out later this month on inﬂuential Oakland avant-hop label Anticon.

GLASSNOTEMUSIC.COM

CONT. on page 24

TOP FIVE

BY BRAND O N WI DDER

COMPLIMENTS FOR MUMFORD & SONS Goudy Old Style looks pretty slick as an album font. Outdated? Psssh. Typography from 1915 is totally in right now. “Little Lion Man” proves radio edits don’t discourage inappropriate off-air language. My mother still knows where to place the “fuck” when that catchy, self-deprecating chorus comes rolling in. Not every frontman can tout his own book club. Marcus Mumford’s review of Steinbeck’s The Pearl on the band’s website puts any eighth-grade book report to shame. Multi-instrumentalist “Country” Winston Marshall reminds us we don’t need to dress all fancy to make it big. He looks like he’s been brewing moonshine in a West Virginia basement, not selling out arenas. (Even if those old-timey clothes probably cost more than my car.) They’ve kept the banjo market afloat in harsh economic times. Seriously, banjo sales have doubled in many stores across the country in the past year or so. Keep pickin’, boys. SEE IT: Mumford & Sons play the Rose Garden Arena, 1 N Center Court, on Monday, May 27. 7 pm. $39.99-$49.99. All ages.

CHOOSE OR LOSE STRESSING OVER YOUR SASQUATCH SCHEDULE? LET US ASSIST YOU. BY MATTHEW SIN GER

msinger@wweek.com

Festivals are a drain—not just physically, but mentally too. As if wading through a sea of tweens in feathered headdresses for four days wasn’t exhausting enough, the performance schedule often forces agonizing decisions. Sasquatch is no exception. With 127 acts spread across four days and five stages, attendees are going to face some brutal conflicts. Don’t worry, though: We’re here to help. FRIDAY, MAY 24 Reignwolf (5-5:45 pm, Sasquatch Stage) vs. Red Fang (5-5:45 pm, Yeti Stage)

Two bands of the Canus hard rockus genus, from Seattle and Portland, respectively, pitted against each other at the exact same time. It’s almost like the organizers want a riot to break out. Resolution: Red Fang. You’re from Portland, aren’t you? Show some civic pride! SATURDAY, MAY 25 Andrew Bird (5:55-6:55 pm, Sasquatch Stage) vs. Nick Oﬀerman (6:10-6:55 pm, El Chupacabra Stage)

One writes whimsical songs adorned with violin and whistled melodies. The other is Ron fucking Swanson. This is a conflict? Resolution: Nick Offerman. Comedy at Sasquatch usually dissolves into calming white noise for kids trying to dig their way out of a k-hole, but when you have a chance to absorb droplets of ’stache-sweat from television’s manliest city employee, you take that opportunity. Surfer Blood (9-10 pm, Yeti Stage) vs. The xx (9-10:15 pm, Sasquatch Stage)

Technically, both bands have guitars, but they use them in diametrically opposed ways: the former to create tidal waves of hummable distortion, the latter for sonar blips in its murky, uber-minimalist R&B. Resolution: Surfer Blood. With Sigur Rós getting noisier of late, the xx is now the drowsiest act on the main stage, and you’ll want to be awake for Tame Impala at 10 pm.

SUNDAY, MAY 26 Danny Brown (3:15-4 pm, Sasquatch Stage) vs. DIIV (3:05-3:50 pm, Bigfoot Stage)

Recent onstage controversies will probably draw a crowd to Brown’s set over the Brooklyn indierockers’, but methinks the Detroit MC has learned to keep his pants tightly zipped. Resolution: DIIV. Anything can happen at a Danny Brown show, but you’d probably rather not be around to see it. Elvis Costello (8:45-10 pm, Sasquatch Stage) vs. Earl Sweatshirt (8:15-9 pm, Bigfoot Stage)

A battle of celebrated lyricists: Costello is the legacy act, Sweatshirt is Odd Future’s great 19-year-old hope, but both are known for their sharp turns of a phrase. Resolution: Up to you—which stanza resonates more: “History repeats the old conceits/ The glib replies, the same defeats/ Keep your finger on important issues/ With crocodile tears and a pocketful of tissues” or “Shove a trumpet up her butt/ Play a song/ Invade a thong/ My dick is having guts for lunch”? MONDAY, MAY 27 Azealia Banks (5:30-6:30 pm, Sasquatch Stage) vs. Death Grips (5:50-6:50 pm, Bigfoot State) vs. Toro Y Moi (6-7 pm, El Chupacabra Stage) vs. Menomena (6:05-7:05 pm, Yeti Stage)

A gauntlet of indie hype spread across the festival grounds, this is probably the most punishing stretch of the weekend. Resolution: You can totally do this. Watch 20 minutes of Banks’ stylish, high-energy hip-hop, then rush to catch 10 minutes of Death Grips’ feral noise-rap. Jog to the dance tent and groove to Toro Y Moi’s postchillwave funk for five minutes, before taking in the askew pop of Portland’s own Menomena. Then go back to your tent and collapse from heat exhaustion. The Postal Service (10-11:30 pm, Sasquatch Stage) vs. Rusko (10-11:30 pm, Bigfoot Stage)

Ben Gibbard’s electro-emo two-piece soundtracked nervous make-out sessions for college students in the mid-aughts, while the English dubstep producer inspires dance-floor heavy petting for highschool seniors a decade later. Resolution: If you’re older than 32, you should probably just get a jump on traffic. SEE IT: Sasquatch is at the Gorge Amphitheater, 754 Silica Road in Quincy, Wash., on Friday-Monday, May 24-27. Sold out. sasquatchfestival.com.

Willamette Week MAY 22, 2013 wweek.com

MUSIC

As the title suggests, it promises a darker shade of electronica. JONATHAN FROCHTZWAJG. Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison St., 239-7639. 9 pm. $12. 21+.

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Vampire Weekend, High Highs

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WEDNESDAY 5/22 8:00 Arabesque Belly Dance

[REVAMPED VAMPIRES] “Morning’s come, you watch the red sun rise/The early day still flickers in your eyes/You better spare your face the raising/ Because no one’s going to spare the time for you.” So begins “Obvious Bicycle,” the improbably sober opening track of Modern Vampires of the City, the new album from Vampire Weekend. It heralds the return of a subdued, evolved band. Ever since forming at Columbia University in 2006, the New York–based quartet has divided audiences with its fusion of appropriated African musical elements, precious baroque pop and a cultivated prep-school aesthetic. Modern Vampires is perhaps Vampire Weekend’s strongest effort yet, progressing away from the discomforting aspects of the band’s music and toward a humbler, more genuine persona. JONATHAN FROCHTZWAJG. Keller Auditorium, 222 SW Clay St., 800-745-3000. 8 pm. $49.50. All ages.

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thursday–friday

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Ariel Pink, Purple Pilgrims

[SUPER-FREAK FOLK] A creature of cultish legend, Ariel Pink’s cassette-strewn lo-fi career path appeared particularly ill-suited for a mainstream splash before a switch of labels from Animal Collective’s Paw Tracks to 4AD forged a whole new clarity and, subsequently, a wider audience. Mature Themes, the former Ariel Rosenberg’s umpteenth release and second album offering a relatively approachable showcase for the singer-songwriter-provocateur’s wanderlust creativity, ben-

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efits immeasurably from crack backing band Haunted Graffiti. Though the instrumentalists’ funk grooves ache to bring the party, Pink’s wryly shambling live presence remains resolutely unpredictable. JAY HORTON. Wonder Ballroom, 128 NE Russell St., 284-8686. 8:30 pm. $15 advance, $17 day of show. 21+.

FRIDAY, MAY 24 Bloc Party

[DRAMATIC BRIT ROCK] Would anyone have guessed that when Bloc Party returned from a selfimposed hiatus last year, with appropriately titled fourth album Four, the band would sound so damn heavy? In the three years since its members last dabbled in dance pop, the band apparently spent some time falling in love with hard rock and metal, if the aggressive tone of songs like “So He Begins to Lie” and “3x3” are any indication. Underneath it all, though, beats the heart of true popsters in love with the power of a catchy hook. ROBERT HAM. Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside St., 225-0047. 9 pm. $25 advance, $28 day of show. All ages.

Holy Ghost, Classixx

[LOL SOUNDSYSTEM] Seemingly poised for stardom since attending the same Upper West Side grade school, Nick Millhiser and Alex Frankel haven’t faced the rockiest road to clubland stardom: An abandoned hip-hop project of requisite buzz led to James Murphy mentorship that blessed a wealth of opportunities for the neophyte DJs, including remixes of Cut Copy, Moby and MGMT. As lads to the major label born, they painstakingly cultivated their signature sound in clear homage to their forebears. While the pair’s eponymous 2011 debut arrived nearly a

M E TA L B L A D E . C O M

CONT. on page 26

PRIMER

BY N AT HA N CA RSON

BOLT THROWER Formed: In the loo of a pub in Conventry, England, in 1986. Sounds like: An armada of Space Marines overtaking a battle cruiser full of Chaos Warriors. For fans of: Carcass, Napalm Death, Godflesh, Hail of Bullets, Slayer, Judas Priest, AC/DC and the Warhammer 40,000 miniature war game. Why you care: In the way AC/DC and Judas Priest have become synonymous with consistency in hard rock and metal, so has Bolt Thrower in the death-metal pantheon. The British battalion arose from the mid-’80s thrash scene with a political flair derived from Crass and a creative twist on loan from Games Workshop and its fantasy battle games. Nine albums of mountain-sized, down-tuned guitar riffs, gloriously melodic hooks and an onslaught of double-bass drum followed. Besides creating planet-smashing death-metal tunes about the consequences of eternal war, the band is notable for sticking with its DIY roots: In Europe, the group tours in a converted school bus, limits ticket prices at $18 and screens its own T-shirts out of the back of the bus each night. The band rarely tours internationally, though. In the U.S., fans are starved to see Bolt Thrower live, and outside of one-offs at festivals like the Maryland Deathfest, we haven’t had the chance since the early ’90s. That Bolt Thrower has deigned to do eight exclusive U.S. dates is historic. That a metal show in Portland sold out so far in advance is unheard of. And for those curious about the current lineup, only the drummer has changed. The rest, including Jo Bench—the first lady of extreme metal—will be on hand, for victory. SEE IT: Bolt Thrower plays Star Theater, 13 NW 6th Ave., with Benediction, Hellshock and Night Nurse, on Tuesday, May 28. 9 pm. Sold out. All ages.

Willamette Week MAY 22, 2013 wweek.com

M USICF E STNW P O R T L A N D, O R E G O N S E P T E M B E R 3 - 8 , 2 0 1 3

Godspeed You! Black emperor superchunk + deerhunter chVrches + tY seGall austra + murder BY death MFNW LiNeup aNNouNced 5/29 + MuSicFeSTNW.coM TickeTS oN SaLe 5/31 + MuSicFeSTNW.coM/TickeTS Willamette Week MAY 22, 2013 wweek.com

friday–saturday

half decade after triumphant single “Hold On,” they’ve already finished sophomore album Dynamics’ similarly-styled mélange of synth-craft, classicist disco and a propulsive DFA-ness they’ve by rights inherited. JAY HORTON. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., 231-9663. 9 pm. $15 advance, $17 day of show. 21+.

PROFILE T O M L E E N TJ E S

MOVIE TIMES

MUSIC

Danny Brown, OverDoz

page 43

[HIP-HOP] At 32, Detroit maniac Danny Brown represents modern hip-hop at its purest. Brought up smack in the middle of the rap revolution, he’s picked up on every influence that has popped up during the last 30 years. It’d be easy to see Brown as simply co-opting all the negative aspects of hip-hop, from the misogyny to excessive weed smoking to the over-thetop swagger. That shit’s all there, but on his breakout, 2010’s The Hybrid, and last year’s XXX, Brown displays the skills to back up his boasts, with acrobatic wordplay and nasty ass beats driving some of the best bangers from a newcomer in years. He was forged in the fires of hip-hop, and he might represent its future. AP KRYZA. Hawthorne Theatre, 1507 SE 39th Ave., 2337100. 8 pm. $16 advance, $20 day of show. All ages.

Damien Jurado, Luz Elena Mendoza

[NW TROUBADOUR] There’s a tingling sensation one feels when listening to Damien Jurado’s latest record, Maraqopa. The songs feel incredibly private, delivered on a bed of feathery folk so soft it could cushion any fall. Jurado’s ghostly vocals fill the big spaces his band’s sparse Americana leaves untouched. Listeners instinctively pay closer attention, half-expecting sirens in the distance, signaling the end of one’s memorable time on a pristine piece of private property. MARK STOCK. Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison St., 2397639. 7:30 pm. $13 advance, $15 day of show.

Flying Lotus, Thundercat

[SOMNABULANT BEATS] Steven Ellison, the producer-musician who records under the name Flying Lotus, has said that his most recent album, Until the Quiet Comes, is a “collage of mystical states, dreams, sleep and lullabies.” You couldn’t ask for a better description of the push-pull of delight and nightmare threaded through this LP. The clattering beats and airborne melodies seem to float in and around the stereo field like pollen spores. How the songs affect you depends on your tolerance for hip-hop’s artsy side, or the more experimental end of the electronic music spectrum. ROBERT HAM. Roseland Theater, 8 NW 6th Ave., 224-2038. 9 pm. $20. All ages.

SATURDAY, MAY 25 Primus (3-D)

[BASS MUSIC] No other band has ever sounded like Primus. No other band could sound like Primus, really. After all, there are few musicians in the world approaching Les Claypool’s virtuosity as a bassist, and even fewer with his creative sensibility. Whether or not many bands actually want to sound like Primus is another issue. Unrelentingly quirky, claymation thrash funk that appeals equally to jam-band dorks and alt-metal dirtbags has never exactly been in vogue. Whatever, though. At some point, after 30 years of carving your own exclusive niche, aggressive uniqueness becomes not just a badge of honor but an armor against criticism. Apparently, it also allows you to tour with your own “3-D enhanced” road show— which, you got to admit, is pretty awesome. MATTHEW SINGER. Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, 1037 SW Broadway, 248-4335. 7 pm. $42.50-$53. All ages. Also see Headout, page 19.

CONT. on page 29 26

Willamette Week MAY 22, 2013 wweek.com

BOMBINO SUNDAY, MAY 26 [DESERT BLUES] Omara Moctar has spent his life on the run. In 1990, at age 10, the Saharan-born guitarist, who grew up in an encampment of nomadic Tuaregs in northern Niger, escaped to Algeria with his family at the outbreak of a Tuareg uprising against the government. It was the start of a cycle of exile and return for the young musician. Several times over the next two decades, Moctar would come back to his birthplace of Agadez, only to flee again at the eruption of another violent rebellion. Now known as Bombino, the 33-year-old desert-blues ambassador is uniquely equipped to handle the displaced existence of a rising international rock star. As a member of an ethnic group fighting for its independence, however, that growing fame comes bundled with extra responsibility. “I think, besides providing for my family, this is the biggest pressure that I put on myself,” writes Moctar via email, responding through a translator. “You can see while traveling around the world that it is rare for people to know about Tuareg culture. I think every Tuareg feels responsible in some way to explain our culture and our living situation to others who are unaware of us and our struggles.” Unlike most Tuaregs, Moctar has a broad platform from which to do so. With a boyish face belying his nickname—a perversion of “bambino,” the Italian word for “child”—Bombino arose in 2011, following a path to global recognition paved by his heroes, the Malian group Tinariwen. A documentary on his return to Niger in 2009 presaged his official debut, Agadez. Showcasing his mesmeric guitar playing, steeped in the tradition of African guitarists such as Ali Farka Toure but also echoing the influences imprinted on him during his youth in Algeria and Libya—traces of Jimi Hendrix, Mark Knopfler and Jerry Garcia—the record introduced Moctar to the world, and won him some influential fans. One such fan was the Black Keys’ Dan Auerbach, who offered to produce Moctar’s next album. Released in April, the appropriately titled Nomad is at once a display of exhilarating musicianship and hypnotic control. Moctar sends fiery spirals of notes circling around polyrhythmic dance grooves, handclap percussion and fuzztone organ, and the effect is utterly entrancing, like staring at a desert campfire. Sung in the Tamashek language, the political strife contained in Moctar’s chanted lyrics dissolves into the embers, but not all is lost in translation. Auerbach—who Moctar calls “my cousin in blues music”—imbues the record with a muscular, modern rock sound, communicating the experience of its creator to an audience that can’t understand a word. And it is, indeed, a personal experience. While Moctar doesn’t ignore his responsibility to his people, the music of Bombino is, unavoidably, a reflection of himself—what he’s seen and, especially, where he’s been. “I am just trying to express myself, simply put,” he writes. “I do not consider myself a representative of other people. I am not a politician and I don’t wish to be one. I have my own observations, my own opinions, my own emotions. These will come out in my music, and I think there will be an effect for the Tuareg people, if only a very small one. But I am not trying to speak on behalf of anyone but myself.” MATTHEW SINGER. a displaced saharan guitar genius finds stability in stardom.

SEE IT: Bombino plays Star Theater, 13 NW 6th Ave., with the Last Good Tooth and Mbrascatu, on Sunday, May 26. 9 pm. $20. 21+.

Willamette Week MAY 22, 2013 wweek.com

Healthy Aging, Naturally NCNM Clinic Open House Saturday, June 1 • 1 – 5 p.m. Learn about natural medicine for healthy living at every age. FREE Appointments:*

Enjoy a FREE 45-minute naturopathic appointment to review recommended screening exams and nutritional intake, OR a FREE 75-minute Chinese medicine appointment including tongue & pulse diagnosis, and the chance to experience acupuncture.

FREE Presentations: 1:15 p.m. 2:15 p.m. 3:15 p.m. 4:15 p.m.

Hormone Imbalance and its Impact on Health and Vitality Nutrition and the Biochemistry of Aging Antioxidant Rich Foods Chinese Medicine and Longevity

*New patients only. Reserve your appointment today. Walk-ins welcome if space is available. The NCNM Clinic is located at the west end of the Ross Island Bridge. For directions, visit www.ncnm.edu and click on “Quick Links.”

3025 SW Corbett Avenue, Portland, OR 97201 • 503.552.1551 28

Willamette Week MAY 22, 2013 wweek.com

saturday–sunday

Beachwood Sparks, the Parson Red Heads, the Memories

[AFTER THE GOLD RUSH] Getting the band back together as part of the celebrations honoring Sub Pop’s 20th anniversary proved to be just the start of Beachwood Sparks’ comeback trail. The Los Angelenos won turn-of-the-millennium tastemaker hearts through a decidedly backwards-leaning, psychedeliaspattered country rock that was somewhat less than fashionable amid the reign of slim-trousered bounders. Even if the Sparks’ muse remains firmly focused upon the pipe dreams of the ’70s, a sloweddown modernity has finally caught up with their time-swept jangly strummings. JAY HORTON. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., 231-9663. 9 pm. $15. 21+.

The Kids, Mean Jeans, Chemicals, Sex Crime

[EURO-PUNK] In the late ’70s, it seemed like every country in Europe had its answer to the Sex Pistols. In Belgium, that band was the Kids. Playing fairly standard-issue, politically agitated three-chord thrash, the group nevertheless started early enough in the international punk movement to achieve legendary status in its home country. Although certainly kids when they began—bassist Danny De Haes was only 12 years old—that’s no longer the case. But considering it took the band nearly 30 years (and a premature breakup in the ’80s) to make it to America, performing stateside for the first time in 2004, hearing the songs it wrote as angry teenagers performed live by angry middleagers remains a treat rare enough to recommend. MATTHEW SINGER. Star Theater, 13 NW 6th Ave. 9 pm. $12. 21+.

Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros, Sons of Fathers, Wake Owl, Fort Atlantic

[CULT JAMBOREE] After growing from oddity to full-blown stars in the years since 2007’s Up From Below, L.A.’s Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes have finally begun to storm stages big enough to match frontman Alex Ebert’s ego. But lest you think the hippie-dippie superheroes were onetrick ponies, the group came out of left field with last year’s Here. The record takes a different approach to the established sound of rollicking sing-alongs. Here is a strippeddown showcase of the band’s gospel side, with backup singer Jade Castrinos taking a larger role on tracks that feel more like prayer circles than revivalist jamborees. AP KRYZA. Tom McCall Waterfront Park, Southwest Naito Parkway between Southwest Harrison and Northwest Glisan streets, Portland. 6 pm. $25. All ages.

Father John Misty, Pure Bathing Culture

[SHAMANISTIC FOLK] The onetime Fleet Foxes drummer has forfeited the sad-sack Seattle scene for warmer climes and more daring musical territory. Josh Tillman, aka Father John Misty, has but one record to his new band’s name in Fear Fun, but the aggrandizing effort reveals Tillman as a true frontman. His cultish incorporation of pseudo-theology, dark humor and absurd L.A. culture makes for a Kool-Aid worth drinking. MARK STOCK. Wonder Ballroom, 128 NE Russell St., 284-8686. 9 pm. $15 advance, $17 day of show. 21+.

SUNDAY, MAY 26 Suuns, Rose Windows

[FOREBODING PSYCH] The phrase “bass music” is typically used as an umbrella categorization for various strands of modern electronic dance music, but it could also be applied to the dark, anxious art rock of

MUSIC

ALBUM REVIEWS

BLUE CRANES SWIM (CUNEIFORM) [MOOD PIECES] There’s no way around it: Swim, the fourth album by local jazz institution Blue Cranes, is as heady and dark as anything the group has done in its six years together. The big chainsaw synths of opener “Beautiful Winners” are followed by dual sax lines glued together so tightly they, too, sound synthetic—like a video-game version of an Ethiopian funk band’s horn section. The opener’s massive bridges, packed with drum fills, offer some resolution, but the real relief doesn’t show up until the aptly titled second track, “Everything is Going to be Okay.” Alto saxophonist Reed Wallsmith is granted room to improvise wildly, breaking apart the industrial grind established in the record’s first six minutes. Its intense call-and-response sax flights, which shoot up like fireworks reflected on the Willamette, are among the record’s prettiest moments. It’s not long before the darkness returns, and it’s urgent and gutting. “Polarnatt” sounds like John Coltrane with Nigel Godrich at the helm. “Soldier” is all string-driven, drunken majesty, like Charles Mingus partying a little too hard with the Kronos Quartet. “For Chris” is one of many examples of this band getting absolutely profound without ever saying a word. Taken together, these songs—produced by the Decemberists’ Nate Query—map out some pretty harrowing times, but I struggle to think of better cartographers than the members of Blue Cranes. CASEY JARMAN.

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SEE IT: Blue Cranes play Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., with Billygoat and Golden Retriever, on Friday, May 24. 9 pm. $10. 21+.

GAYTHEIST HOLD ME…BUT NOT SO TIGHT (GOOD TO DIE)

GALLERY LISTINGS AND MORE!

PAGE

[PUNK METAL] As the Minutemen’s Mike Watt once observed, a good song title is worth a thousand lyrics. With Gaytheist, that advice is well-heeded: Lest anyone feel fatigued by the bulldozing punk-metal trio’s prodigious output—Hold Me…But Not So Tight, the band’s fourth album, comes just eight months after its third—there’s no way you’re not listening to a song called “Poocano” or “Elderly Assassin.” Clocking in at less than 30 minutes, the record doesn’t leave the group a lot of room to expound, anyway. Brevity begets economy, and the band makes the most of its running time. Hold Me leans closer to the punk end of Gaytheist’s conjoined-genre attack, the coiled thwack of last year’s Stealth Beats unfurling into warp-speed thrash. It’s more melodic, too, lending singer-guitarist Jason Rivera’s sneering absurdity an even sharper bite. His sarcasm and black humor has curdled into a more direct kind of cynicism: On the opening 34-second broadside “Starring in ‘The Idiot,’” Rivera confesses to feeling at once surrounded and “desperately alone,” introducing an album whose rage is directed most pointedly at the crushing alienation of the Digital Age. “60 Easy Payments” skewers the consumerist craving for “the latest gadget-y, gizmo-y gobbledygook,” while “MANhattan” describes a metropolis where people don’t dare speak to one another, for fear of interrupting each other’s tweeting. It might sound a bit dire, but as a statement of worldview, Hold Me explains a lot about Gaytheist—why the band plays so furiously, why it gives songs titles like “Wisdom of the Asshole,” even why it would give itself a name like Gaytheist: In a time where everyone is plugged in, detached and distracted, attention must be grabbed by any means necessary. MATTHEW SINGER. SEE IT: Gaytheist plays White Owl Social Club, 1305 SE 8th Ave., with Red Fang, on Wednesday, May 22. 9 pm. $15 advance, $18 day of show. 21+.

CONT. on page 31 Willamette Week MAY 22, 2013 wweek.com

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Willamette Week MAY 22, 2013 wweek.com

MUSIC

JOSH WEHLE

sunday–tuesday

madman in black: danny brown plays Hawthorne Theatre on Friday, may 24. Canada’s Suuns. Its sophomore album, Images du Futur, is underscored by throbbing low end, lending an alluring electro groove to the band’s spare, dissonant post-punk guitars, cosmic synths and singer Ben Shemie’s uneasy vocals, which sound like Thom Yorke trying to sing after having his jaw wired shut. It’s entrancing, unsettling and, thanks to those pulsating undercurrents, even a little sexy. MATTHEW SINGER. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., 231-9663. 9 pm. $10. 21+.

Transcendental Brass Band

[NOLA BRASS] Transporting listeners to NoLa without all the pickpockets and mosquitos, Portland septet Transcendental Brass Band stays true to its bayou roots with an all-acoustic marching-band sound that could bring most any scene stomping to life. Every element of a Big Easy street band is here, and the miracle of Transcendental is that the individual musicians avoid the trappings of trying to update the music to give it modern edge. This is street music at its funky best. The group is celebrating the release of its new album, First Take. AP KRYZA. The Blue Monk, 3341 SE Belmont St., 503-595-0575. 9 pm. $3 advance, $5 day of show. 21+.

Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, Thenewno2

[BRANDO-SIZED PSYCH ROCK] A few months after the release of 2010’s Beat the Devil’s Tattoo, Black Rebel Motorcycle Club lost, for all intents and purposes, its third founding member: bassist Robert Levon Been’s dad, Michael, who died of a heart attack backstage at one of their shows. The death of the elder Been—not only BRMC’s longtime soundman but frontman of ’80s alt-rockers the Call—looms heavy on the band’s newest album, Specter at the Feast. That BRMC’s sixth studio effort is more elegiac than most says something: The band, which took its name from Marlon Brando’s biker gang in The Wild One, has burned through dirgelike walls of fuzz and badlands blues since its 2001 debut. Still, even in its quieter moments, BRMC is as cinematic as its namesake. AMANDA SCHURR. Wonder Ballroom, 128 NE Russell St., 284-8686. 8:30 pm. Sold out.

MONDAY, MAY 27 The xx

[QUIET STORM POP] The idea of putting music as intimate and understated as that of the xx in a venue as cavernous as the Schnitz seems like some kind of booking mistake. Not to say the U.K. pop band doesn’t have the fans to fill the space. Rather, it seems an odd place for songs that work best when they wrap around you like a warm hug. Don’t expect the xx to boost the arrangements or instrumentation as a result. The slowly burning guitar lines, slightly unkempt beats and the haunted

vocals of Romy Craft and Oliver Sim will come across as crystalline and finely wrought as if they were being performed at the Doug Fir. ROBERT HAM. Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, 1037 SW Broadway, 248-4335. 7 pm. $39.50-$47.50. All ages.

Kylesa, Blood Ceremony, White Hills, Lazer/Wulf

[OCCULT ROCK] These days, it’s getting hard to cross the moors at midnight without stumbling across the path of a female-fronted, occult-themed metal band. Few modern bands have been more successful at alchemizing the nostalgia of late-’60s pseudo-Satanism perfect nostalgic vibe than Toronto’s Blood Ceremony, with Alia O’Brien lending her voice, rock organ and Jethro Tull-inspired flute work to the band’s trio of albums. Its 2008 self-titled debut wore its traditions on billowing sleeves, but latest album The Eldritch Dark— which drops later this month—finds the band rapidly maturing away from all metal sensibilities and into a dreamy hard-rock space with few true peers. NATHAN CARSON. Star Theater, 13 NW 6th Ave. 9 pm. $15. 21+.

TUESDAY, MAY 28 Peace, Team Spirit

[BRIT INDIE] The Stone Roses dubbed their disappointing sophomore album The Second Coming, but that band’s true second coming just might be Peace. Several songs on the Brummie buzz band’s debut, EP Delicious, and recently released full-length, In Love, recall the Roses’ tribal drumming and hazy vibe, while others conjure contemporaneous indieBrit heroes like Primal Scream. There’s a disarming innocence to all this derivativeness, though, and groovy guitar tones, too. Following its U.S. debut at Sasquatch!, the band plays its first-ever American club date tonight. JEFF ROSENBERG. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 288-3895. 9 pm. $12. 21+.

MusicfestNW Launch Party: Chvrches, Still Corners

[FESTIVAL TEASER] Yes, this show, aside from featuring the glistening synth pop of rising Glaswegian trio Chvrches, is the launch party for MusicfestNW, Portland’s biggest annual music festival, which this paper just happens to put on. But c’mon: I’d be excited for the lineup reveal even if I worked at that other alt-weekly. So I’m not going to lie and say the announcement isn’t, perhaps, more important than the music itself. That isn’t to downgrade the sleek, starryeyed compositions of the headliners, it’s just, well, thanks to my job title, I’m privy to certain information, and let me just say this: You’re going to be stoked. MATTHEW SINGER. Wonder Ballroom, 128 NE Russell St., 284-8686. 7:30 pm. $8 advance, $10 day of show. All ages.

Willamette Week MAY 22, 2013 wweek.com

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Willamette Week MAY 22, 2013 wweek.com

MUSIC CALENDAR

MAY 22–28 Gabrielle Macrae & Friends

= WW Pick. Highly recommended. Editor: Mitch Lillie. TO HAVE YOUR EVENT LISTED, send show information at least two weeks in advance on the web at wweek.com/submitevents or (if you book a specific venue) enter your events at dbmonkey. com/wweek. Press kits, CDs and especially vinyl can be sent to Music Desk, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Please include show or release date information with all physical mailings. Email: music@wweek.com.

LAURE VINCENT BOULEAU

For more listings, check out wweek.com.

O’Connor’s Vault 7850 SW Capitol Highway Gary Ogan Band

Secret Society Lounge

Backspace

2500 SE Clinton St. Chris Brown Quartet

8132 SE 13th Ave. Open Mic

Shaker and Vine

2929 SE Powell Blvd. Matt Tabor Blueprints Trio

Slabtown

1033 NW 16th Ave. Jedi Scum, Venkman

Slim’s Cocktail Bar 8635 N Lombard St. Jake Cline

Star Theater

13 NW 6th Ave. Lady Rizo

Swift Lounge

1932 NE Broadway DJ Drew Groove

The Analog

720 SE Hawthorne Open Mic

303 SW 12th Ave. Garcia Birthday Band, Scott Law

Aladdin Theater

3017 SE Milwaukie Ave. The Piano Guys

Ash Street Saloon

225 SW Ash St. Crimson Guardian, Ion Storm, Hells Parish

Doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St. Stornoway, Horse Thief

East End

203 SE Grand Ave. Certain Death, Design Drift Distance

Goodfoot Lounge

2845 SE Stark St. Shafty (Phish tribute)

Hawthorne Theatre Lounge

1503 SE Cesar E. Chavez Blvd. Jeffery Trapp

Holocene

1001 SE Morrison St. Gulls, Apartment Fox, Shy Girls DJs

Ivories Jazz Lounge and Restaurant 1435 NW Flanders St. Lauri Jones

Jade Lounge

2346 SE Ankeny St. Karyn Ann

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave. The Mel Brown Quartet, Sunset H.S. Jazz Ensemble

LaurelThirst

2958 NE Glisan St. Conjugal Visitors, Old Flames

Suicide Notes, The Polaroids, Sex Crime

Star Theater

13 NW 6th Ave. Lady Rizo

The Blue Diamond

2016 NE Sandy Blvd. The Fenix Project Blues Jam

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St. Gag, Wild Mohicans, Dente Na Mente

The Lovecraft

421 SE Grand Ave. Psychopomp: Ogo Eion

Thirsty Lion

71 SW 2nd Ave. Jordan Harris

Thorne Lounge

4260 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Musician’s Open Mic

Tiga

1465 NE Prescott St. Flip Forage

Tiger Bar

THURS. MAY 23 Al’s Den at the Crystal Hotel

303 SW 12th Ave. Garcia Birthday Band, Lex Browning

Alberta Rose Theatre

3000 NE Alberta St. Bill Payne, The Hooligans, Dennis McNally

Andina

1314 NW Glisan St. Borikuas

Andrea’s Cha Cha Club 832 SE Grand Ave. Pilon D’Azucar Salsa Band

Artichoke Community Music

3130A SE Hawthorne Blvd. Acoustic Village

Ash Street Saloon

225 SW Ash St. Ditch Digger, Iron Kingdom, Chronological Injustice, Iron Circus

317 NW Broadway Whiskey Dick Wednesday: Delaney & Paris

Backspace

Tonic Lounge

Biddy McGraw’s

3100 NE Sandy Blvd. Last Call Trivia in The Fireside Lounge

Tony Starlight’s

3728 NE Sandy Blvd. Mark Simon Trio, Tony Starlight

Valentine’s

232 SW Ankeny St. Mufasa, Later Dudes, Grapefruit

Vie de Boheme 1530 SE 7th Ave. Bohemian Blues

White Eagle Saloon

115 NW 5th Ave. Greys, Wow & Flutter, Shahman, Conference 6000 NE Glisan St. Thermal Boogie, Jenny Sizzler

Buffalo Gap Eatery and Saloon 6835 SW Macadam Ave. Give It FM

Camellia Lounge 510 NW 11th Ave. Jan Koenig Trio

Crystal Ballroom

1332 W Burnside St. Devendra Banhart, Rodrigo Amarante

East End

Wilfs Restaurant & Bar

Gemini Lounge

3158 E Burnside St. Elijah Ford

Slabtown

1033 NW 16th Ave. Sweatlodge, No Bone

Star Bar

639 SE Morrison St.

800 NW 6th Ave. Ron Steen Band, Nancy Curtin

Wonder Ballroom

128 NE Russell St. Youth Lagoon, Majical Cloudz

Holocene

1001 SE Morrison St. Baths, Houses, D33J

Ivories Jazz Lounge and Restaurant

1435 NW Flanders St. Tom Grant, Susan Sandel, David Watson

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave. Mel Brown B3 Organ Band

Keller Auditorium

222 SW Clay St. Vampire Weekend, High Highs

Kelly’s Olympian

426 SW Washington St. Dodge Logic, DRIFT

LaurelThirst

2958 NE Glisan St. MacDougall, Tom Vandenavond, Lewi Longmire & the Left Coast Roasters, Redray Frazier

McMenamins’ Kennedy School 5736 NE 33rd Ave. Brownish Black

Mississippi Pizza

3552 N Mississippi Ave. Sour Mash Hug Band, the Jamblers

Mississippi Studios

Mock Crest Tavern

Mississippi Studios

Music Millennium

1507 SE 39th Ave. Reignwolf

Goodfoot Lounge

830 E Burnside St. Sea Wolf, Savoir Adore

White Owl Social Club

1305 SE 8th Ave. Red Fang, Gaytheist

Hawthorne Theatre

6526 SE Foster Road Dag Shaw

Doug Fir Lounge

836 N Russell St. Freedy Johnston, BlueEyed Son, Ezra Holbrook, Brothers of the Hound

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Akron/Family, Avi Buffalo, M. Geddes Gengras

1503 SE Cesar E. Chavez Blvd. Paul Brainard & Friends

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Bob Dylan’s 72nd Birthday Extravaganza: Portland Country Underground, Kory Quinn, Little Sue, Marissa Anderson, Lewi Longmire, Jim Brunberg, Ezza Rose, Brad Parsons, Santi Holley, Will West, David Lipkind, Scott Law, Joe McMurrian, Simon Tucker, Michael Sheridan, Boy & Bean, Suzanne Tufan, Amanda Breese, Ashleigh Flynn, WC Beck, Hunter Paye

Lents Commons

9201 SE Foster Road Open Mic

Hawthorne Theatre Lounge

Duff’s Garage

1635 SE 7th Ave. Wendy DeWitt 203 SE Grand Ave. Anxious P, D Hark

2845 SE Stark St. Scott Pemberton Trio

3435 N Lombard St. Sean O’Neill

Muddy Rudder Public House 8105 SE 7th Ave.

115 NW 5th Ave. Terraclipse, Southgate, Wayfarer, When They Invade

Beulahland

118 NE 28th Ave DJ Damien

Buffalo Gap Eatery and Saloon 6835 SW Macadam Ave. Parker Mann, the Gemtones, Swing Twice

Camellia Lounge

510 NW 11th Ave. Adlai Alexander Trio

Club 21

2035 NE Glisan St. Mos Generator

Crystal Ballroom

1332 W Burnside St. Bloc Party

DeVille Public House

The Blue Diamond

2205 N Killingsworth Tim Connor and Howard Wade

The Blue Monk

830 E Burnside St. Holy Ghost, Classixx

The Firkin Tavern

1635 SE 7th Ave. Levi Dexter, Rockalily

2016 NE Sandy Blvd. Ben Jones

WED. MAY 22

Ash Street Saloon

225 SW Ash St. Solid Gold Balls, Cement Season, Matt Brown

Sellwood Public House

Al’s Den at the Crystal Hotel

3130A SE Hawthorne Blvd. Friday Coffeehouse

Savoy Tavern & Lounge

116 NE Russell St. Trio Flux

OUR GANG: Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros play Tom McCall Waterfront Park on Saturday, May 25, as part of the Portland Rose Festival.

Artichoke Community Music

3341 SE Belmont St. Excellent Gentlemen

Doug Fir Lounge

Duff’s Garage

1937 SE 11th Ave. Sam Densmore, Laugh at Linus, I Like Your New Haircut

East End

The Old Church

Ford Food and Drink

1422 SW 11th Ave. Ida Haendel

The Secret Society Ballroom

116 NE Russell St. Trio Flux, Trio Subtonic

The TARDIS Room

1218 N Killingsworth St. Black People Y’all, Brain Capital, Superlunar

Thirsty Lion

71 SW 2nd Ave. Singer Songwriter Winners

Tiger Bar

317 NW Broadway Karaoke from Hell

Tonic Lounge

3100 NE Sandy Blvd. The Disliked, Dead Bundy & the Neat Neat Neats

203 SE Grand Ave. Rabbits, Big Black Cloud, Humours, Partydogg 2505 SE 11th Ave. Tate Peterson

Ground Kontrol

511 NW Couch St. DJ Nate C

Habesha

801 NE Broadway Soft Skills, Beach Party, Dinosaur Heart, Use The Wand

Hawthorne Theatre

1507 SE 39th Ave. Danny Brown, OverDoz

Holocene

1001 SE Morrison St. Damien Jurado, Luz Elena Mendoza

Ivories Jazz Lounge and Restaurant

Tony Starlight’s

1435 NW Flanders St. Rebecca Kilgore, Tom Wakeling, Randy Porter, david evans

White Eagle Saloon

Jade Lounge

3728 NE Sandy Blvd. Joe Stoddard 836 N Russell St. Stone Iris, Rocket 3, Brothers of the Hound

Wonder Ballroom

128 NE Russell St. Ariel Pink, Purple Pilgrims

FRI. MAY 24 Al’s Den at the Crystal Hotel 303 SW 12th Ave. Garcia Birthday Band, David Lipkund

Aladdin Theater

3017 SE Milwaukie Ave. Ozomatli

Alberta Rose Theatre

3000 NE Alberta St. Tony Starlight’s AM Gold Seventies Soft Rock Show

Alberta Street Public House

1036 NE Alberta St. Seamus Begley, Oisin Mac Diarmada

Alhambra Theatre

4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Polecat, Sugarcane

Andina

1314 NW Glisan St. Dan Diresta Quartet

2346 SE Ankeny St. The Ink-Noise Review, Daniel Robinson

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave. Ty Curtis Band

Katie O’Briens

2809 NE Sandy Blvd. Thundering Asteroids, Pitchfork Motorway, The Vacillators

Kelly’s Olympian

426 SW Washington St. Lil Ass Boom Box Festival: Desert Days, Swingset Showdown, The Hague, LPS, Chloe Caldwell, Paulie Lipman

Kenton Club

2025 N Kilpatrick St. ManX, IX, Resin Cum, Duty

Landmark Saloon

4847 SE Division St. Jackson Taylor & the Sinners

LaurelThirst

2958 NE Glisan St. Shoeshine Blue, The Barkers

Mississippi Pizza

3552 N Mississippi Ave. Temporary Lesbian Bar, Too Loose Cajun Band

Mississippi Studios

Tonic Lounge

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Blue Cranes, billygoat, Golden Retriever

3100 NE Sandy Blvd. Beautiful Bearded Lady Competition

Mock Crest Tavern

Tony Starlight’s

3435 N Lombard St. MojoBlasters

3728 NE Sandy Blvd. Jazz Express Big Band

Muddy Rudder Public House

Velo Cult

Music Millennium

Vie de Boheme

Noho’s Hawaiian Cafe

White Eagle Saloon

8105 SE 7th Ave. Reverb Brothers

3158 E Burnside St. Wendy DeWitt 4627 NE Fremont St. Hawaiian Music

O’Connor’s Vault 7850 SW Capitol Highway Tin Silver

Plew’s Brews

8409 N Lombard St. Black Black Things, the Colin Trio

Ponderosa Lounge

10350 N Vancouver Way Cloverdayle

Record Room

8 NE Killingsworth St. Hey Lover, Schwervon, The Happening

Red and Black Cafe

400 SE 12th Ave. Ol Doris, Jefferson Death Star

Ringside Fish House

838 SW Park Ave. The Jason Okamoto Duo

Rock Bottom Restaurant & Brewery 206 SW Morrison St. Beth Willis

Roseland Theater

8 NW 6th Ave. Flying Lotus, Thundercat

Rotture

315 SE 3rd Ave. Adventure Galley, All You All

Secret Society Lounge 116 NE Russell St. Trashcan Joe

Shaker and Vine

2929 SE Powell Blvd. Smut City Jellyroll Society

Slabtown

1033 NW 16th Ave. Pierced Arrows, The Valley, Youngins, Piss Test

Slim’s Cocktail Bar 8635 N Lombard St. Miller & Sasser

Star Theater

13 NW 6th Ave. Lewi Longmire

The Analog

720 SE Hawthorne Wayward Vessel, Renegade String Band, Bottlecap Boys

The Blue Diamond

2016 NE Sandy Blvd. New Iberians

1969 NE 42nd Ave. Keep Your Fork There’s Pie 1530 SE 7th Ave. Hot Club Time Machine 836 N Russell St. Radical Face, Reverb Brothers

Wilfs Restaurant & Bar

800 NW 6th Ave. Craig Stevenson, Curtis Salgado, Carlton Jackson

Wonder Ballroom

128 NE Russell St. Atlas Genius, the Postelles, the Colourist

SAT. MAY 25 Andina

1314 NW Glisan St. Toshi Onizuka Trio

Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall

1037 SW Broadway Primus (3D)

Ash Street Saloon 225 SW Ash St. Cool Nutz

Biddy McGraw’s

6000 NE Glisan St. The Muriel Stanton Band

Buffalo Gap Eatery and Saloon 6835 SW Macadam Ave. Rockin’ Piano Party

Dante’s

350 W Burnside St. Truckstop Darlin’, Spirit Lake, Wilkinson Blades

DeVille Public House 2205 N Killingsworth Big Bad Wolf, IPAD, Jacob Westfall & Jack Deville

Doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St. Beachwood Sparks, the Parson Red Heads, the Memories

Duff’s Garage

1635 SE 7th Ave. Soul Vaccination

EastBurn

1800 E Burnside St. Impact Sound, the Keplers

Fifteenth Avenue Hophouse

1517 NE Brazee St. Steve Cheseborough

Foggy Notion

3416 N Lombard St. Murmurs, Eiger Sanction, cockeye

Ford Food and Drink

2738 NE Alberta St. Tevis Hodge Jr.

2505 SE 11th Ave. Hanz Araki & Kathryn Claire

The Firkin Tavern

Gemini Lounge

The Elixir Lab

1937 SE 11th Ave. The Reds, Less Cash, Zach Zeran and the Brassierillionaires

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St. Sudor, Kurraka, Bellicose Minds, Vivid Sekt

The TARDIS Room

1218 N Killingsworth St. Fleur Jack, Class M Planets

The Waypost

3120 N Williams Ave. Dao Strom, Helen Chaya

Thirsty Lion

71 SW 2nd Ave. Mind Field

Tiga

1465 NE Prescott St. The Real Kevin Lee

Tom McCall Waterfront Park SW Naito Pkwy and SW Harrison St. Hit Machine

6526 SE Foster Road So to Speak

Goodfoot Lounge

2845 SE Stark St. Billy Martin/Wil Blades Duo

Ground Kontrol

511 NW Couch St. Roxy’s Ego Hour

Hawthorne Hophouse 4111 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Hot Club Time Machine

Hawthorne Theatre Lounge

1503 SE Cesar E. Chavez Blvd. DJ Lorax, DJ Bob Ham

Hawthorne Theatre 1507 SE 39th Ave. Youngblood Hawke, Pacific Air

Holocene

1001 SE Morrison St.

CONT. on page 34

Willamette Week MAY 22, 2013 wweek.com

MUSIC CALENDAR

MAY 22–28

BAR SPOTLIGHT

Wonder Ballroom

N ATA L I E B E H R I N G . C O M

128 NE Russell St. Father John Misty, Pure Bathing Culture

The Blue Monk

3341 SE Belmont St. Transcendental Brass Band

The Elixir Lab

SUN. MAY 26 Al’s Den at the Crystal Hotel 303 SW 12th Ave. Widower

Andina

1314 NW Glisan St. Borikuas

Ash Street Saloon

225 SW Ash St. Mane of the Cur, Mariana, the Deadlight Effect, Doomsower

Ash Street Saloon

225 SW Ash St. Mane of the Cur, Mariana, The Deadlight Effect, Doomsower

WARMING UP: For all its supposed trendiness, Northwest 23rd Avenue’s pub life is in a sad state. Especially before New Old Lompoc reopened recently, when Nob Hill Bar & Grill was the only barlike bar between two McMenamins that sit 10 blocks apart. So while The Fireside (801 NW 23rd Ave, 477-9505, pdxfireside.com) seemingly splits its ambitions between bar and grill, you’ll find us up at the boxy counter that greets you as you walk into the former Music Millennium space, now all dark wood and open windows. The fire is in the back—a pit with a sleek, black bottle-shaped ventilation hood that climbs up to the soaring ceiling—but you’ll be comfortable in the padded, button-emblazoned bar stools up front. The Flat Creek cocktail ($8) was a little flat in flavor—an upmarket toddy with bourbon, Bärenjäger, black tea syrup and a dull froth of egg white and lemon—but the beer and wine lists are solid, as are the salty snacks. Grilled bread with olive butter ($3) would rightly be called buttered Grand Central Bakery toast with more butter, and postcard-thin strips of carrot and beet are rendered into salty, crispy chips ($4) with such zeal that they end up more like bacon. But that’s welcome here, on what may be the most trafficked Portland thoroughfare in which beer and bacon are not in plentiful supply. MARTIN CIZMAR. EFFPortland Closing Party: Lori Felker, Regular Music, DJ Ill Camino, DJ Copy, DJ Musique Plastique, DJ Cenobites

Ivories Jazz Lounge and Restaurant 1435 NW Flanders St. Anandi, Randy Porter

Jade Lounge

2346 SE Ankeny St. Bob Shoemaker, Drew Tucker

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave. Soulmates

Katie O’Briens

Music Millennium

3158 E Burnside St. Redcast

Noho’s Hawaiian Cafe

3341 SE Belmont St. Future Historians, Bevelers, Mike Coykendall

O’Connor’s Vault

2738 NE Alberta St. The Soldiering

4627 NE Fremont St. Hawaiian Music

The Know

Plew’s Brews

The Lovecraft

8409 N Lombard St. Hollowdog

Ponderosa Lounge

10350 N Vancouver Way Flexor T

Record Room

Kells Brewpub

400 SE 12th Ave. Baby Ghosts, Bat Manors

Kelly’s Olympian

426 SW Washington St. Lefty & the Twin, Bike Thief, Gashcat, Ghostfoot, Glue Horses

Kenton Club

2025 N Kilpatrick St. Lamprey, Mammoth Salmon, Solar Adept

Landmark Saloon

4847 SE Division St. Shorty & The Mustangs

LaurelThirst

2958 NE Glisan St. Jake Ray & the Cowdogs, Copper & Coal, James Low Western Front

Mississippi Pizza

3552 N Mississippi Ave. The Alphabeticians

Mock Crest Tavern 3435 N Lombard St. Blueprints

Muddy Rudder Public House 8105 SE 7th Ave. James Clem

The Elixir Lab

7850 SW Capitol Highway Jack McMahon

2809 NE Sandy Blvd. The Underlings, the Ransom, The Connies, Small Arms 210 NW 21st Ave. Sami Rouisi

The Blue Monk

8 NE Killingsworth St. Towers, Boneworm, RTTU

Red and Black Cafe

Ringside Fish House 838 SW Park Ave. The Tracy Kim Duo

Secret Society Lounge

116 NE Russell St. Vagabond Opera, Krebsic Orkestar

2026 NE Alberta St. Burials, Contempt 421 SE Grand Ave. Hyborian Rage, Echoic, Darkness Descends: DJ Maxamillion

The Secret Society Ballroom 116 NE Russell St. The Libertine Belles

The TARDIS Room

1218 N Killingsworth St. A Volcano, Kimosabe

1332 W Burnside St. Tame Impala, Jonathan Wilson

Dig a Pony

736 SE Grand Ave. Paul Montone

Doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St. Suuns, Rose Windows

Ford Food and Drink 2505 SE 11th Ave. Tim Roth

Gemini Lounge

6526 SE Foster Road The Reds

Goodfoot Lounge

2845 SE Stark St. Billy Martin / Wil Blades Duo

Hawthorne Theatre

1507 SE 39th Ave. Terraclipse, Kong At The Gates, Apophis Theory, Bless And Defy, Alive Like Me, Year of the Raven, The Purpose Of Silence, CAADFR, Guillotine, Nuclear Salt, Criminal Mastermind, Atriad

Ivories Jazz Lounge and Restaurant 1435 NW Flanders St. Gus Pappelis

Jade Lounge

2346 SE Ankeny St. Sparkle Pony

Kelly’s Olympian

426 SW Washington St. BOAT, Towering Trees, The Woodcuts

LaurelThirst

2958 NE Glisan St. Kris Deelane & the Sharp Little Things, Freak Mountain Ramblers

Mississippi Pizza

3552 N Mississippi Ave. Counterfeit Cash

Mississippi Studios

Tom McCall Waterfront Park

Rock Bottom Restaurant & Brewery

Slabtown

Tonic Lounge

1033 NW 16th Ave. Frame By Frame, Barons Of Industry, Crown Point

3100 NE Sandy Blvd. The Cool Whips, Kladruby Gold from Seattle

Slim’s Cocktail Bar

Tony Starlight’s

Star Theater

Crystal Ballroom

71 SW 2nd Ave. Boys Next Door

2929 SE Powell Blvd. Arthur “Fresh Air” Moore

8635 N Lombard St. A Volcano, Kemosabe

1028 SE Water Ave. Monarques, Later Dudes, New Moves

3939 N Mississippi Ave. INC., Kelela, DJ Total Freedom

Thirsty Lion

SW Naito Pkwy and SW Harrison St. Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros, Sons of Fathers, Wake Owl, Fort Atlantic

Shaker and Vine

Bunk Bar

206 SW Morrison St. Zenda Torrey

Rontoms

600 E Burnside St. Eternal Tapestry, Tartufi, Swahili

Slabtown

3728 NE Sandy Blvd. The Tony Starlight Show

1033 NW 16th Ave. The Connies, Monica Nelson and the Highgates, the New York Rifles, Grand Style Orchestra

Vie de Boheme

Star Bar

639 SE Morrison St. Nico Suave

13 NW 6th Ave. The Kids, Mean Jeans, Chemicals, Sex Crime

1530 SE 7th Ave. Ben Rice, Mitzi Zilka

The Analog

720 SE Hawthorne RAR, Nekked Bones, Stealing Lucky

836 N Russell St. Alameda, Petoskey, Hip Hatchet, the Student Loan

13 NW 6th Ave. Bombino, Last Good Tooth, Mbrascatu

The Blue Diamond

Wilfs Restaurant & Bar

2016 NE Sandy Blvd. Kevin Selfe and the Tornadoes

2016 NE Sandy Blvd. Ben Jones

Willamette Week MAY 22, 2013 wweek.com

White Eagle Saloon

800 NW 6th Ave. Devin Phillips Quartet

Star Theater

The Blue Diamond

2738 NE Alberta St. Closely Watched Trains

The Firkin Tavern 1937 SE 11th Ave. Open Mic

The Lovecraft

421 SE Grand Ave. Rodya Crow, Erich Zann

Tom McCall Waterfront Park Southwest Naito Parkway between Southwest Harrison and Northwest Glisan streets, Portland Fitz and the Tantrums, Little Hurricane, Michael Kiwanuka, Milo Greene

Tonic Lounge

3100 NE Sandy Blvd. Dapper Squad Mystery Theater

Valentine’s

232 SW Ankeny St. Bombs Into You, Grandhorse

Vie de Boheme 1530 SE 7th Ave. Whim Grace

White Eagle Saloon 836 N Russell St. Quiet!

Mumford & Sons, Michael Kiwanuka

Slabtown

1033 NW 16th Ave. Crime Machine, Jagula, Joey Molinaro

Star Bar

639 SE Morrison St. Metal Monday: DJ Blackhawk

Star Theater

13 NW 6th Ave. Kylesa, Blood Ceremony, White Hills, Lazer/Wulf

The Elixir Lab

2845 SE Stark St. Radula

Hawthorne Theatre Lounge

Twilight Café and Bar 1420 SE Powell Blvd. SIN Night

White Eagle Saloon 836 N Russell St. Roseland Hunters, Alligator vs. Crocodile

TUES. MAY 28 Andina

1314 NW Glisan St. JB Butler

Backspace

Bunk Bar

1028 SE Water Ave. Ghosties

Dante’s

350 W Burnside St. Tonight On The Rocks

Shaker and Vine

2929 SE Powell Blvd. Avery Hill

Star Bar

639 SE Morrison St. Austin Johnson

Star Theater

Ivories Jazz Lounge and Restaurant

The Blue Diamond

2346 SE Ankeny St. Ryan Johnson

1465 NE Prescott St. Gentleman Matthew Yake

Dracula and the Cruisers, the Dad, Youthbitch

1503 SE Cesar E. Chavez Blvd. Ghost Town Waltz, Whitfield Fahrenheit and The Doomsday Trio

Tiga

Wonder Ballroom

MON. MAY 27

Goodfoot Lounge

1435 NW Flanders St. Mark Simon

115 NW 5th Ave. Eternal Summers, Dirty Looks, Atlas and the Astronaut

128 NE Russell St. Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, Thenewno2

1635 SE 7th Ave. Nick Moss

2738 NE Alberta St. Blue Flags and Black Grass

White Owl Social Club 1305 SE 8th Ave. Rafael Vigilantics

Duff’s Garage

Jade Lounge

Kelly’s Olympian

426 SW Washington St. Swing Time Speakeasy: Boy and Bean, Russel Bruner, Sandria Dore’, Swing Time Trio

Landmark Saloon

4847 SE Division St. Rocky Butte Wranglers

LaurelThirst

2958 NE Glisan St. Jackstraw

LaurelThirst

2958 NE Glisan St. The Dwells, The Student Loan

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Peace, Team Spirit

Mock Crest Tavern 3435 N Lombard St. Boots n’ Honey

Record Room

8 NE Killingsworth St.

13 NW 6th Ave. Bolt Thrower, Benediction, Hellshock, Night Nurse 2016 NE Sandy Blvd. Margo Tufo, Doug Rowell

The Blue Monk

3341 SE Belmont St. Pagan Jug Band

The Elixir Lab

2738 NE Alberta St. Johnny D’s Community Jam

Tonic Lounge

3100 NE Sandy Blvd. DJ Desecrator Fireside Lounge

Twilight Café and Bar

1420 SE Powell Blvd. Open Mic Night Featuring House Band: The Roaming

Valentine’s

232 SW Ankeny St. Seance Crasher, Romcom

White Eagle Saloon

836 N Russell St. Hunter Paye, Paleo, Will West, The Druthers

Wonder Ballroom

128 NE Russell St. MusicfestNW Launch Party: Chvrches, Still Corners

Andina

1314 NW Glisan St. Pete Krebs

Matador

Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall

1967 W Burnside St. DJ Drew Groove

1037 SW Broadway The xx

Mississippi Studios

Ash Street Saloon

225 SW Ash St. The Charlie Darwins, Larusso, Good Morning Tonight, Sawtell

Backspace

115 NW 5th Ave. Rotting Out, Expire, Greg Bennick of Trial (Spoken Word), Focused Minds, Young Turks

Camellia Lounge 510 NW 11th Ave. Joe Millward

Dante’s

350 W Burnside St. Karaoke From Hell

Dig a Pony

736 SE Grand Ave. Atom 13

Duff’s Garage

1635 SE 7th Ave. Keeter Stuart & Allison Rice

Goodfoot Lounge

2845 SE Stark St. Sonic Forum Open Mic

Jade Lounge

2346 SE Ankeny St. Jaime Leopold

Kells Brewpub

WED. MAY 22

Boxxes

1035 SW Stark St. Decadent 80s: DJ Non, DJ Jason Wann

315 SE 3rd Ave. Blowpony

Vie de Boheme

Dante’s

232 SW Ankeny St. DJ Ausland

736 SE Grand Ave. Pussy Control: Nathan Detroit, Black Dog 1530 SE 7th Ave. Bohemian Blues: DJs Lynn Winkle & Mark Stauffer

THURS. MAY 23 Club 21

2035 NE Glisan St. Biciphonics: DJ Rema, DJ Anna

Dig a Pony

736 SE Grand Ave. DJ Safi

Kenton Club

2025 N Kilpatrick St. DJ F. Star, DJ Robin Robinowich

Lola’s Room at the Crystal Ballroom 1332 W Burnside St. Limelight Dance Millenium

Star Bar

Kenton Club

The Lovecraft

LaurelThirst

2958 NE Glisan St. Kung Pao Chickens, Portland Country Underground

Muddy Rudder Public House 8105 SE 7th Ave. Lloyd Jones

Pub at the End of the Universe 4107 SE 28th Ave. Open Mic, Damien Rice

Rose Garden

1401 N Wheeler Ave.

Rotture

Dig a Pony

210 NW 21st Ave. Traditional Irish Jam Session 2025 N Kilpatrick St. Katie & The Lichen, OK Vancouver, Almost Dark

FRI. MAY 24

3939 N Mississippi Ave. DJ Pierre, Miracles Club DJs, Mercedes, DJ Lincoln Up and Ben Tactic

639 SE Morrison St. DJ Dirty Red 421 SE Grand Ave. Death Trip: DJ Tobias

The Rose

111 SW Ash St. Flight: Jai, Jacob/Mena, Trevor Vichas

The Whiskey Bar

31 NW 1st Ave. Bass Cube: Tantrum Desire, Sidestep, Kellen

Tiga

1465 NE Prescott St. DJ Aerogel

Valentine’s

232 SW Ankeny St. New Moon Poncho DJs

350 W Burnside St. Bass Therapy 2 Year Anniversary: #PartyGirl, BennyRox, DJ Deformaty, Night City

Dig a Pony

736 SE Grand Ave. Cooky Parker, Icarus

Goodfoot Lounge

2845 SE Stark St. Dj Aquaman’s Soul Stew

Holocene

1001 SE Morrison St. 8 1/2 DJs: Future Club Edition: Wampire DJs, DJ Erik Hanson, DJ Zac Eno, Tyler Tastemaker, DJ Cooky Parker

Star Bar

639 SE Morrison St. Blank Fridays

The Lovecraft

421 SE Grand Ave. Skullfuck: DJ Horrid

Valentine’s

232 SW Ankeny St. New Dadz DJs, Consequences Party

SAT. MAY 25 Beulahland

118 NE 28th Ave Filth: Bruce LaBruiser, Pocket Rock-It, Gossip Cat

Branx

320 SE 2nd Ave. Blow Pony

Dig a Pony

736 SE Grand Ave. Dj Freaky Outty

Fez Ballroom

316 SW 11th Ave. DJ Nature, DJ Le Freak

Valentine’s

SUN. MAY 26 Dig a Pony

736 SE Grand Ave. Paul Montone

Kenton Club

2025 N Kilpatrick St. DJ HWY 7, Ghost Train

Pub at the End of the Universe

4107 SE 28th Ave. Sundae: DJ Wicked, Chris Karns, DJ Mighty Moves, Rocket One

MON. MAY 27 Beech Street Parlor 412 NE Beech St. DJ Honeydripper

Dig a Pony

736 SE Grand Ave. Atom 13

The Analog

720 SE Hawthorne Gothique Blend

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St. Class of 1992: DJ 60/40

TUES. MAY 28 Ash Street Saloon 225 SW Ash St. Phreak: Electronic Mutations

Dig a Pony

736 SE Grand Ave. Team Atkins

Vie de Boheme 1530 SE 7th Ave. Salsa Night

MAY 22–28

= WW Pick. Highly recommended.

actors Amy Jo Halliday as Callas and Bruce Blanchard as Onassis embody their roles remarkably—with Halliday in particular showing off an impressive set of pipes and some serious opera chops. The doomed love affair unfolds through a series of trite musical numbers and gossip-columnstyle narration before wrapping up in a foregone (yet still baffling) conclusion. If nothing else, the show serves as a decent refresher course in historic celebrity gossip. PENELOPE BASS. Sanctuary at Sandy Plaza, 1785 NE Sandy Blvd., 239-5919. 7:30 pm Thursdays-Saturdays, 2 pm Sundays through May 26. $15-$35.

system to efficiently soothe the dancing needs of their male clientele. With plenty of leopard-framed cleavage and drunken ogling, Las Palmas would seem to satisfy more than just a need to dance. That is, until Julieta (Nurys Herrera) resolutely rejects an overzealous patron’s advances and wad of cash. Most of the men, like Gabriel (an ever-energetic Carlos Alexis Cruz), are sending money back to Mexico to support their families, or, like the Orthodox Jew Jacobo (Orion Bradshaw), simply want to dance without the trappings of social protocol. All characters have their own monologues to explain their motivations, and while this deepens personalities, it seems too cheap and easy. The dancing and music are at their best when they favor cumbia and duranguense; esoteric, vaguely symbolic sequences are a little excessive. MITCH LILLIE. Miracle Theatre, 525 SE Stark St., 236-7253. 7:30 pm Thursdays, 8 pm Fridays-Saturdays and 2 pm Sundays through May 25. $17-$30.

Beaux Arts Club

Disassembly

Most prices listed are for advance ticket sales. At-the-door increases and so-called convenience charges may apply, so it’s best to call ahead. Editor: REBECCA JACOBSON. Theater: REBECCA JACOBSON (rjacobson@ wweek.com). Classical: BRETT CAMPBELL (bcampbell@wweek.com). Dance: AARON SPENCER (dance@wweek.com). TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit information at least two weeks in advance to: rjacobson@wweek.com.

THEATER 40 Wonderful

For two nights only, Post Five Theatre presents Canadian playwright Jayson McDonald’s play about a 41st birthday party to which no one shows—except a stripper dressed as a cop. Milepost 5, 850 NE 81st Ave., 729-3223. 10 pm Friday-Saturday, May 24-25. “Pay what you will.”

Aloha, Say the Pretty Girls

What if life was really just a giant game of musical chairs? And what if you didn’t end up in the chair you wanted? That’s the story Aloha, Say the Pretty Girls sets out to explore. Told in a series of interconnected vignettes, Naomi Iizuka’s play follows 11 characters as they try to figure out who they are and where they’re going in life, from a pregnant, neurotic woman recently dumped by her boyfriend who moves to Alaska, to a dog who isn’t really sure anymore if he is a dog or a man. The story itself, as these twentysomethings try to discover themselves and find romance, is frankly a little exhausting. Existentially angsty questions weigh down the script: “I don’t know who I am! I don’t know what I’m supposed to be!” But the Theatre Vertigo cast, directed by Jen Wineman, delivers well-timed comedic performances as the characters grapple with whether they should, in fact, marry the person they love, or whether that paw is indeed a hand. KAITIE TODD. Theater! Theatre!, 3430 SE Belmont St., 306-0870. 8 pm Thursdays-Saturdays through June 8. $15 Fridays-Saturdays, “pay what you want” Thursdays.

Always...Patsy Cline

In Always...Patsy Cline, the famous country singer meets one of her biggest fans, Louise and form a bond that continues until Cline’s death years later. Based on a true story, the musical is carried just as much by Sara Catherine Wheatley’s flawless, crooning vocals as Patsy Cline as it is by Sharon Maroney’s entertaining and comedic narration as Louise. As ballad after ballad begins to blur together, non-Cline buffs may grow numb—though they’re sure to be jolted by an impromptu country line dance performed by a middleaged gent in the front row, as happened at a recent Sunday matinee. KAITIE TODD. Broadway Rose New Stage Theatre, 12850 SW Grant Ave., Tigard, 620-5262. 7:30 pm ThursdaysSaturdays, 2 pm Sundays and select Saturdays through May 19. $30-$40.

Amarillo

Portland’s Boom Arts and Seattle’s OntheBoards.tv bring a high-def video of a multimedia theater performance performed by Mexican troupeTeatro Línea de Sombra. The intensely visual piece—which incorporates film projections and bilingual monologues—grapples with the challenges of migrants as they cross the U.S.-Mexico border. A discussion with Amalia Gladhart, a Spanish professor at the University of Oregon, will follow. Miracle Theatre, 525 SE Stark St., 236-7253. 7 pm Wednesday, May 22. $5 suggested.

Ari-Maria

We love our celebrity couples, especially those with tumultuous or scandalous relationships. Throw in a baby mama or some rumored domestic violence and we’re hooked. And nostalgic romance aside, famed opera diva Maria Callas and wealthy Greek businessman Aristotle Onassis were a doozy of a duo. The new original musical Ari-Maria, with book and lyrics by Triangle Productions managing director Don Horn and music by Jonathan Quesenberry, follows the few years of the couple’s turbulent romance. Lead

Imago co-founder Carol Triffle—who’s known for her fearlessness and absurdist sense of humor—presents an original black comedy about three bored 19th-century housewives whose teatime takes an unexpected turn when one woman traps a man in her new art installation. Imago Theatre, 17 SE 8th Ave., 231-3959. 8 pm Fridays-Saturdays and 2 pm Sunday, June 9. Through June 9. Free, $10-$20 suggested.

Cinderella

Cinderella trades in glass slippers for some tap shoes in this Northwest Children’s Theater musical adaptation of the classic tale. NW Neighborhood Cultural Center, 1819 NW Everett St., 222-4480. 7 pm Friday, noon and 4 pm Saturday-Sunday, May 24-26. $13-$22.

Crooked

[NEW REVIEW] As Crooked opens, 14-year-old Laney reads aloud a short story she’s just written, about a murderous lemonade vendor, to her mother, Elise. Elise tells Laney to make it more realistic. “You always say that!” Laney shrieks. “You always want me to be more realistic!” Perhaps Elise wants Laney to take a page from playwright Catherine Trieschmann, who has crafted a remarkably grounded three-woman drama. This sharp and affecting production, directed by Philip Cuomo, taps into the delusions, tensions and pains of adolescence with its story of Laney (Kayla Lian), a precocious tomboy who moves with her newly divorced mother (Maureen Porter) to Mississippi. Laney suffers from back spasms, though she claims she’s grateful for the condition. “I’m glad I have it because now I know how shallow people are,” she tells her only friend Maribel (Meghan Chambers), a chubby, intensely religious 16-year-old misfit. Lian and Chambers convey the anxiety of a friendship not yet solidified, with Lian’s eyes wide as she waits for her friend’s approval on a new short story, and Chambers picking nervously at an apple with her fingernails. The role of Maribel is a tonally tricky one, but Chambers doesn’t condescend, even as her character describes her “invisible stigmata” and soliloquizes about everlasting hell. Porter, meanwhile, brings both sarcasm and affection to her role, throwing up her arms when her daughter declares herself “a holiness lesbian” but also dispensing earnest sex advice to the girls. Trieschmann has an ear for the teenage idiom as well as the searing barbs mothers and daughters sling at one another—this is comedy that stings and reality that sings. REBECCA JACOBSON. The CoHo Theater, 2257 NW Raleigh St., 715-1114. 7:30 pm Thursdays-Saturdays, 2 pm Sundays through June 8. $25.

Dance for a Dollar

Whether your music of choice is house or swing, finding a partner in a loud, pheromonal club can be frustrating. The ladies of Las Palmas, the Queens nightclub of Mariana Carreño King and Daniel Jáquez’s dance-theater production Dance for a Dollar, have developed a pay-per-groove

Action/Adventure Theatre—which normally presents unscripted works— moves in a more traditional direction with Steve Yockey’s black comedy about bad manners, stuffed cats and guarded secrets. Action/Adventure Theatre, 1050 SE Clinton St. 8 pm Thursdays-Sundays through June 9. $15, Thursdays “pay what you will.”

The Good Person of Setzuan

Portland State University presents Tony Kushner’s adaptation of Bertolt Brecht’s meditation on morality about a young prostitute who must invent a male alter-ego for herself. Lincoln Hall, Portland State University, 1620 SW Park Ave., 725-3307. 7:30 pm Thursday-Saturday, May 23-25; 2 pm Sunday, May 26; 7:30 pm WednesdaySaturday, May 29-June 1. $6-$12.

La Cage aux Folles

Even among the staunchly classical theater crowd, there is something undeniably entertaining about a man in a dress. Throw in a gay cabaret owner and his transvestite headliner/life partner—who pretend to be man and wife in order to meet conservative parents of their son’s fiance—and hilarity is bound to ensue. Lakewood Theatre’s production of La Cage aux Folles excels thanks to its supremely talented cast, in particular Joe Theissen as Albert and drag queen extraordinaire Zaza. Theissen’s singing is lovely, but it’s his mannerisms and spot-on delivery that have the audience roaring through each scene. The equally talented chorus dancers, in a hurricane of glitter and marabou, shimmy, flip and high-kick their way through the musical’s uptempo numbers in what must be the most cardio-intensive acting gig on stage. Have fun guessing which actors are actually women. PENELOPE BASS. Lakewood Center for the Arts, 368 S State St., Lake Oswego, 635-3901. 7:30 pm Thursdays-Saturdays; 2 pm Sundays, May 26 and June 2 and 9. Through June 9. $35.

The Left Hand of Darkness

When Portland author Ursula K. Le Guin wrote The Left Hand of Darkness in 1969, she imagined it as a thought experiment. What would a world be like, she asked, where humans spent most of their lives as androgynous beings? A world where people only adopted sexual identities for a few days each month, and could become either male or female? So it’s fitting that this new adaptation of Le Guin’s novel is rather experimental itself. The show, co-produced by Hand2Mouth Theatre and Portland Playhouse and directed by Jonathan Walters, follows Le Guin’s narrative but also incorporates stylized movement, haunting songs and an immersive synth score to transport the audience to Gethen, an icy planet populated by androgynous beings. We meet Estraven (Allison Tigard), the prime minister exiled for treason, and Genly (Damian Thompson), an envoy sent from Earth. John Schmor’s overstuffed script

CONT. on page 36

REVIEW H O L LY A N D R E S

PERFORMANCE

PARTY LIKE IT’S 1968: The Boys in the Band.

THE BOYS IN THE BAND, THE CHILDREN’S HOUR (DEFUNKT THEATRE) Gay culture seems to evolve so quickly that any snapshot is almost instantly antiquated. Offering a queer eye to a straight guy today is almost as passé as wearing an earring in your right ear. Ten years from now, people will recall the primitive times when two women in Arkansas couldn’t marry each other. But despite any change in circumstances, gays and lesbians continue to have many of the same conversations. Alcoholism, sex, abuse, suicide—while these topics aren’t confined to gay circles, their ubiquity over the decades reminds us that not all ground covered is new. Director Jon Kretzu vividly conveys this in two seminal works of homosexual theater now at Defunkt: The Boys in the Band and The Children’s Hour. The 1968 off-Broadway production of Mart Crowley’s The Boys in the Band was the first depiction of gay men to reach a mainstream audience. The play is credited for empowering gay men at a time when they were marginalized, and it was a precursor to 1969’s Stonewall riots. Defunkt’s production is a memorable one. Staged in a private home on East Burnside Street, an audience of roughly a dozen lines the walls of a midcentury-designed living room. The effect is intimacy not only with the actors, who at times stand inches from your face and even step on your shoe, but also between audience members: You share every laugh and awkward moment with the person sitting across the room. The play, which revolves around a birthday party for one man, Harold, could be set today with only minimal line adjustments. The party guests are archetypes for any group of gay men: the neurotic one, the know-it-all, the lothario, the butch one, the femme one, and so on. Oneliners zing back and forth with zeal that would put Henny Youngman to shame, and the dishing and self-deprecation are relentless. Particularly magnetic is Harold (Matthew Kerrigan), who practically hisses his nihilistic worldview between puffs of his cigarette. When Michael (Jeffrey Arrington) accuses him of being late, he dryly retorts, “What I am, Michael, is a 32-year-old, ugly, pockmarked Jew fairy.” Equally but more joyfully engaging is Matthew Kern’s effeminate Emory. The mood is lifted as soon as he swishes through the door. “Who do you have to fuck to get a drink around here?” he squeals. Darker than its counterpart, Lillian Hellman’s The Children’s Hour is a more traditional narrative set on Defunkt’s usual stage at the Back Door Theater. Less about homosexuality than about gossip, the play focuses on a sociopathic monster of a little girl, Mary (Roxanne Stathos), who pretends to faint one second and attacks a classmate the next. Melissa Whitney and Grace Carter star in this production as headmistresses of a private school, but Mary and the three other girls loom over the stage in school desks for most of the show, giving the play an ominous tone. The Children’s Hour was first performed in 1934, when even the mention of homosexuality on stage was illegal in New York, though the play’s popularity gained it a pass. It’s a suspenseful tale, and while slow at times, the gravitas of its historical context isn’t lost on today’s audience. In the same way, while many parts of The Boys in the Band are relevant today, others—the shame, the self-hate, the blame on an overbearing mother—are quickly becoming vestiges of a more tortured time. Perhaps gay culture is fleeting, and perhaps that’s good. Maybe years from now, the next generation will watch Will and Grace reruns and imagine how different things used to be. AARON SPENCER. Queering the way.

SEE IT: The Boys in the Band is at 3125 E Burnside St. The Children’s Hour is at the Back Door Theater, 4319 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Times vary; call 481-2960 or visit defunktheatre.com for details. $15-$20. Willamette Week MAY 22, 2013 wweek.com

MAY 22–28

works hard to establish an intricate set of political circumstances, but it grows convoluted even for those familiar with the novel. The second act gains steam, charting Estraven and Genly’s treacherous trek over a glacier and the thawing of their frosty relationship. With her white-blond hair and striking features, Tigard brings to mind Tilda Swinton, fiercely impassive and commanding. But Thompson, as the play’s lone Earthman, feels phoned-in. The androgynous humans around him refer to him as a pervert, yet Thompson seems the least sexed of them all. (If you saw his violently seductive performance in last year’s Brother/Sister Plays at Portland Playhouse, you know he’s capable of more.) “Ambitious” is often a euphemism for “unsuccessful,” and there are pieces of The Left Hand of Darkness that are both. Best, then, to treat the play as an experiment: a gutsy leap into Le Guin’s world, which these scientists and voyagers are still learning to navigate. REBECCA JACOBSON. Portland Playhouse, 602 NE Prescott St., 488-5822. 7:30 pm Thursdays-Saturdays, 2 pm SaturdaysSundays through June 9. $23-$32.

Little Women

Metropolitan Performing Arts Academy stages a musical version of Louisa May Alcott’s classic Civil War-era novel. Brunish Theatre, 1111 SW Broadway, 800-273-1530. 7 pm Friday, May 24; 2 pm and 7 pm Saturday, May 25. $12.25-$15.

My Children! My Africa!

For the first 45 minutes of Profile Theatre’s My Children! My Africa!, you may think a latter-day Mr. Chips has single-handedly defeated the entire edifice of 1980s-era South African apartheid with nothing but the love of learning and a few lines of Wordsworth. Privileged white prep-school girl Isabel (Chelsie Kinney) visits a black township school and bonds with promising student Thami (Gilbert Feliciano) and especially his energetic teacher, Mr. M (Bobby Bermea); what follows is some of the more saccharine dialogue ever put to stage. Mr. M wants to get Isabel and Thami together for a literary quiz bowl. As his students throw lines from the Lake Poets back and forth, Mr. M wipes his brow and declares that all this insane hope is making him sweat. But anyone who knows the politicized work of South African playwright Athol Fugard knows we don’t have some cheap Michelle Pfeiffer moment of racial harmony waiting for us. As the young Thami moves further into the struggles that defined South Africa in the ’80s, the play becomes an examination of how apartheid ruined everyone it touched. Director Adriana Baer’s minimalist staging puts a heavy burden on the performers, and the actors acquit themselves admirably, despite some wavering on difficult South African accents. Bermea in particular has a natural warmth, charisma and decency; Kinney and Feliciano are much younger actors, but the pair’s depth of feeling in the closing scenes allow the play to find its full emotional resonance. It’s a shame one has to sit so long through a patchy prelude to reach the pathos and subtlety that characterize the play’s climax and conclusion, but it is a price worth paying. It has been almost 30 years since the events in question, but the struggles the play depicts are, if anything, even more relevant. MATTHEW KORFHAGE. Theater! Theatre!, 3430 SE Belmont St., 242-0080. 7:30 pm WednesdaysSaturdays, 2 pm Sundays through May 26. $16-$30.

The People’s Republic of Portland

It would be easy to carp about Lauren Weedman’s mispronunciation and misnaming of this newspaper (on opening night, she referred to it as “Will-uhmet Weekly”). But that would be too simple, and just a bit cheap. (And it was apparently a deliberate mispronunciation, the show’s dramaturg has informed me.) No, I applaud Weedman, a Los Angeles resident and former Daily Show correspondent, for picking up a copy of WW in her mission to understand our city, a quest she details in this solo show commissioned by Portland Center Stage. But Weedman—an affable monologist, gifted physical comedian and pretty

W I N G O O D B O DY

PERFORMANCE

and Andie Main. The Firkin Tavern, 1937 SE 11th Ave., 206-7552. 9:30 pm Tuesday, May 28. Free. 21+.

Girls! Girls! Girls!

Brody’s all-female improv troupe sets out to prove that ladies have got comedic chops, too. Brody Theater, 16 NW Broadway, 224-2227. 8 pm Saturdays through June 1. $8-$10.

The He & She Show

Comedian couple Teresa Sickels and Doug Wyckoff present two stand-up shows: The earlier is family-friendly and the later is PG-13. Backspace, 115 NW 5th Ave., 248-2900. 7:30 pm and 9:30 pm Saturday, May 25. $10.

Patton Oswalt CROOKED decent dancer—may well have lost this one before she even started. Though her talents are on display, The People’s Republic winds up somewhere between Portlandia-style potshots and The New York Times’ lovey-dovey coos, with Weedman’s confessional bursts more genuine than those on The Real World but still not meaty enough to carry the performance. Strangely, I left the show feeling bad, and almost embarrassed, for Weedman. She’s witty and dynamic, and it’s clear she’s taken with Portland. But Portland isn’t her wheelhouse, and People’s Republic feels unfinished. REBECCA JACOBSON. Gerding Theater, 128 NW 11th Ave., 445-3700. 7:30 pm TuesdaysSundays, 2 pm Sundays and select Saturdays, noon Thursdays through June 16. $34-$54.

Rock of Ages

Lovers of ’80s cliches and arena rock, break out that acid-washed denim: Broadway Across America brings a musical to Portland that tells a love story through the songs of Pat Benatar, Journey, Twisted Sister and more. Keller Auditorium, 222 SW Clay St., 800-745-3000. 7:30 pm TuesdayFriday; 2 pm and 7:30 pm Saturday; 1 pm and 6:30 pm Sunday, May 28-June 2. $20-$60.

Rough Crossing

A chandelier swings precariously over a Russian diva and stuttering songwriter in Rough Crossing, which is set on an ocean liner and examines the perils of both theatrical collaboration and cruise ships. In Tom Stoppard’s comedy, playwrights Sandor Turai (Adam Syron) and Alex Gal (Norman Wilson) must reunite unfaithful actress Natasha Navratalova (Megan Carver) with her musical genius fiance in order to land a theatrical success. The sixcharacter cast lacks nothing in melodrama or gags; Navratalova threatens suicide with a fish knife. But the theatrical iceberg is the faulty script. “Predictable from top to bottom,” Turai laments. Unfortunately, it’s also true of Bag & Baggage’s production. It’s a rough crossing through the play, which fails to make headway despite a talented cast carried by Ian Armstrong’s bumbling Russian valet, Dvornichek. Armstrong brings spirit and strength to the slapstick comedy, but it still crawls glacially along to its predictably happy ending. ENID SPITZ. The Venetian Theatre, 253 E Main St., Hillsboro, 693-3953. 7:30 pm Thursdays-Saturdays and 2 pm Sundays through May 26. $18-$26.

The Seagull

Like many great works of art, Anton Chekhov’s The Seagull was booed on its 1896 opening night before finding wild success. Northwest Classical Theatre Co.’s production, directed by Don Alder, uses an intimate venue and emotive acting to add immediacy to this theatrical jewel. Set in the lakeside summertime home of Irina (Jane Bement Geesman), an aging but famous actress, and her idealistic playwright son Konstantin (Ben Buckley), the play’s atmosphere seems idyllic. Yet, as Irina admits, “It’s hot and humid. No one does anything! Everyone philosophizes.” An ensemble cast bears the comedy that arises from what becomes a love hexagon,

Willamette Week MAY 22, 2013 wweek.com

but unrequited and uncertain desires, along with Konstantin’s attempted suicide, temper any humor. The writer Trigorin, one of Chekhov’s deepest characters, is valiantly played by Jason Maniccia. In the center stand Brenan Dwyer as a fragile but sunny Nina and Clara-Liis Hillier, Nina’s foil as a jaded, black-hearted Masha. The tone is convoluted and dark, but as Nina advises, “You must learn to bear your cross.” MITCH LILLIE. Shoe Box Theater, 2110 SE 10th Ave., 971-244-3740. 7:30 pm Thursdays-Saturdays, 2 pm Sundays through June 16. $20.

Ten Chimneys

Ten Chimneys premiered in 2011. But with its old-fashioned form and frothy narrative, it might as well have been produced in the 1930s. Jeffrey Hatcher’s comedy centers on Alfred Lunt and Lynn Fontanne, lauded as the greatest husband-and-wife team in the history of American theater. It picks up in 1938, with the couple hosting rehearsals at their rural Wisconsin estate for a production of Anton Chekhov’s The Seagull. That means (deep breath) we have actors (the finely tuned Artists Rep cast) playing actors (Lunt, Fontanne and others) playing actors (Chekhov’s melancholy characters). For non-buffs, it all might be a bit opaque, or even off-putting in its sometimes strained parallels with The Seagull. But for those willing to surrender to the play’s self-aware nostalgia, it’s an affectionate throwback to the likes of Noel Coward and George S. Kaufman. As the Portland directorial debut of Artists Rep’s incoming artistic director, Dámaso Rodriguez, it’s a safe but well-oiled—and occasionally very funny—piece of theater. REBECCA JACOBSON. Artists Repertory Theatre, 1515 SW Morrison St., 241-1278. 7:30 pm Wednesdays-Sundays, 2 pm Sundays through May 26. $25-$50.

Who Stole My Dead Husband?

The long-running dinner theater comedy returns for a six-show run, with the cast chomping down on Italian cliches as attendees gorge on meatballs and guzzle wine. Madison’s East Wing, 1125 SE Madison St., 9617221. 7:30 pm Fridays-Saturdays through June 1. $57-$69.

A Year With Frog and Toad

Oregon Children’s Theatre springs around the forest with this vaudevillestyle musical. Newmark Theatre, 1111 SW Broadway, 228-9571. 2 pm and 5 pm Saturdays (no 5 pm shows May 25 or June 1) and 2 pm Sundays through June 2. $15-$30.

COMEDY & VARIETY End Humorlessness: A Comedic Benefit for the Oregon Humane Society Stand-up from a long list of Portland comedians, with all proceeds to benefit the Oregon Humane Society. Jack London Bar, 529 SW 4th Ave., 228-7605. 7 pm Friday, May 24. $5 suggested. 21+.

Firkin Funny Night

The monthly comedy show celebrates its one-year anniversary with a lineup featuring Bri Pruett, Jacob Christopher

The sci-fi-obsessed comedian—who was Helium’s most popular draw in 2012—returns to Portland for two more nights of acerbic and philosophical stand-up. Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9th Ave., 888-643-8669. 7:30 pm and 10:30 pm Friday-Saturday, May 24-25. $30-$35.

Pipes: An Improvised Musical

At first glance, it would seem difficult to craft a full-fledged musical around flying, fairies and the Western television drama Gunsmoke—and even more so when the lyrics, music and story are to be created entirely on the spot. But if the task seems daunting or implausible, you wouldn’t know it by watching this Curious Comedy ensemble. After a brief opening improv show featuring local comedians, the rotating lineup of Pipes performers takes the stage, eliciting a quick series of audience suggestions for inspiration. At a recent Saturday performance, the Pipes quintet managed to flesh out an hourlong musical inspired by the aforementioned suggestions, complete with a healthy dose of songs. Yet for improvisation, the show appeared surprisingly polished, anchored by a talented group of performers who enjoy the spontaneity and abrupt plot twists of every act. BRANDON WIDDER. Curious Comedy, 5225 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 477-9477. 8 pm Fridays-Saturdays through June 1. $12-$15.

Portland’s Funniest Person Contest

Local comedians compete for the crown of most hilarious in town. Preliminary rounds run through June 7, with semifinals June 8 and finals June 9. Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9th Ave., 888-643-8669. 8 pm TuesdaysThursdays, May 21-June 6; 7:30 pm and 10 pm Friday, June 7. $10-$15.

U.S.S. Improvise

The Unscriptables craft Star Trekinspired improv. Funhouse Lounge, 2432 SE 11th Ave., 841-6734. 8 pm Saturdays through June 1. “Pay what you want.”

CLASSICAL 45th Parallel, Ida Haendel

Now enjoying her ninth decade on the planet, the legendary Polishborn, Miami-based violinist has been impressing listeners with her prowess for all but the first three years. Haendel won a major prize at age 7 and began international touring when barely a teenager, becoming one of the most acclaimed mid-century classical soloists, and an inspirational pioneer among female classical musicians. In this concert by the valuable presenting organization 45th Parallel, Haendel and pianist Misha Dacic will play a sonata by one of her teachers, George Enescu, and music by Robert Schumann and longtime Oregon resident Ernest Bloch. The Old Church, 1422 SW 11th Ave., 222-2031. 7:30 pm Thursday, May 23. $20-$25.

Vagabond Opera, Krebsic Orkestar

The cabaret-meets-classical-meetscrazy ensemble returns to its hometown after months on the road, bringing new songs and old zaniness (e.g. mustache contest). The group is joined by the local Balkan brass dance band—one of VO’s few rivals— for sheer fun. Secret Society Lounge, 116 NE Russell St., 493-3600. 8 pm

Saturday, May 25. $13-$15. 21+.

Vancouver Symphony, Oregon Repertory Singers

The concert includes three works (Mendelssohn’s Capriccio Brilliant, Tchaikovsky’s Variations on a Rococo Theme and a movement from Spohr’s Clarinet Concerto) featuring the VSO’s annual performance of young goldmedalist artists as soloists. But the main attraction is a rare chance to hear the magnificent cantata Sergei Prokofiev drew from his classic 1938 score to a legendary film, Alexander Nevsky, here featuring the excellent 80-voice ORS choir and mezzosoprano soloist Christine Meadows, who heads Portland State’s awardwinning opera program. Skyview High School, 1300 NW 139th St., Vancouver, 360-735-7278. 3 pm Saturday and 7 pm Sunday, May 25-26. $10-$50.

DANCE Exposed

Nonsense Dance, a sexy company led by former Jefferson Dancer Mykey Lopez, was inspired by film for its latest show. Exposed takes its cues from such films as Avatar, which imbues a piece in which soldiers become the blue aliens and perform an African dance piece. Other pieces include a bubbly jazz number embodying Wreck-It Ralph and a tap number for Singin’ in the Rain. Guest choreographers include Gerran Reese, Mari Nakama, Jenelle Yarbrough, TJ Yale and Burlesquire duo Esequiel Cortez and Isiah Tillman. BodyVox Dance Center, 1201 NW 17th Ave., 229-0627. 7 pm Friday-Saturday, May 24-25. $15-$20.

From the Hip

Like a pint-sized Johnny Weir, minus the ice skates, French belly dancer Illan Rivière headlines Danse du Ventre, a collaboration between Portland-based belly dance journal From the Hip and Narcissa Productions. Rivière, 20, bends and twists his tiny body in a fusion-tribal style that’s modern but referential to belly dancing’s roots. At times graceful in lyrical pieces, he can also be alarmingly powerful—especially with pop-and-lock moves to more electronic tracks. And as far as stomach manipulation goes, he can jiggle his belly with the best of them. Alberta Rose Theatre, 3000 NE Alberta St., 719-6055. 7:30 pm Saturday, May 25. $25-$30.

LGBT Country Western Dance

Dance instructor Daniel Hutchison has reorganized what was Crystal’s Country Jam into a new night of country-western dance for the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community. Same-sex couples and their straight friends are invited for lessons and socializing. Dance styles include the two-step, waltz, swing and polka. Norse Hall, 111 NE 11th Ave., 236-3401. 8 pm Saturday, May 25. $10. 21+.

Luciana Proano

Peruvian cultural dancer Proaño presents Chaski, a performance based on the Quechua word for “messenger.” Accompanied by guitar and several percussion instruments, Proaño guides the audience through a dream of positive transformations as a testament to human endurance. Studio 14, 333 NE Hancock St. 8 pm Fridays, May 10-31 and June 14-21. $10-$15.

Stars and Stripes

The Portland Ballet Youth Company performs George Balanchine’s patriotic Stars and Stripes, with music by John Philip Sousa. The 90-minute program includes Marius Petipa’s comic Don Quixote, Jules Perrot’s Pas de Quatre and Josie Moseley’s Holocaust remembrance When I Close My Eyes. Portland Community College-Sylvania Campus, 12000 SW 49th Ave. 7 pm FridaySaturday, May 24-25. $10-$20.

For more Performance listings, visit

VISUAL ARTS

MAY 22–28

= WW Pick. Highly recommended. By RICHARD SPEER. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit show information—including opening and closing dates, gallery address and phone number—at least two weeks in advance to: Visual Arts, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: rspeer@wweek.com.

HEADS

Curator Alex Frum zooms in on the human head as an aesthetic trope in the 11-artist show HEADS. Painters, illustrators and a sculptor interpret the subject matter in a contemporary light, even as they nod and wink at antecedents like the classical bust and cheesy photographic “head shots.” Frum is a fashion portrait photographer, and his eye for intense saturation and sharp angles guided his selection of artists for this exhibition, among whom are painter Dan Ness and mixed-media artist Richard Schemmerer. Through June 9. Mark Woolley Gallery @ Pioneer, 700 SW 5th Ave., third floor, Pioneer Place Mall, 998-4152.

Hector Mediavilla: S.A.P.E.

Whether they’re called dandies, fops or, in the Congo, “sapeurs,” it’s undeniable that people who dress with conspicuous panache provide eye candy for everyone in their sartorial and social orbits. Spanish documentary photographer Hector Mediavilla traveled to the Republic of Congo to document exemplars of the country’s “sapeur” style. These dressersto-the-nines model themselves after Congolese citizens who visited Paris in the 1920s and returned home with a distinct Parisian flair. Mediavilla’s photo essay highlighting these men’s contemporary heirs gets to the heart of costume’s sometimes uneasy relationship with identity. Through June 2. Newspace Center for Photography, 1632 SE 10th Ave., 963-1935.

Jaq Chartier: Ultra Marine

SCUFFLE BY RENÉE ZANGARA AT NINE GALLERY

Ann Ploeger: My Melinda

Who can forget photographer Ann Ploeger’s gory 2009 series of bloodspattered faces, aptly titled Blood? She’s up to the old horror antics again in her current show at Pushdot, My Melinda. This sublimely creepy show features a single model portraying the eponymous foxy redhead, a character in faux-horror movies drawn from Ploeger’s imagination. In photo after photo, the intrepid Melinda finds herself in danger’s path: inside a claustrophobic shower enclosure, glimpsed by a voyeur through a window at night. What harm will befall her? Can sheer pluck and great lipstick save her from impending doom? Through May 31. Pushdot, 2505 SE 11th Ave., Suite 104, 224-5925.

Cynthia Lahti: Elsewhere

In Elsewhere, Cynthia Lahti combines ceramics with pages from old books, photographs of the circus, party favors and mass-produced figurines. By cobbling these objects together, she aims—not very successfully—to evoke common memories from the well of the collective unconscious. She

made these works last year during a residency in Berlin, and indeed, with their marriage of abstruseness and decadence, they exude a decidedly Eurotrash sensibility. They withhold just enough meaning to make you feel cheated, and allow just enough to make you feel cheap. Through June 1. PDX Contemporary Art, 925 NW Flanders St., 222-0063.

Gail Tremblay: Reframing Images, Conceptualizing Indigenous Art

Gail Tremblay’s colorful sculptures would be noteworthy even if you didn’t know their backstory. Factor that story in, and they become intriguing. A member of the Onondaga and Micmac nations, Tremblay stitches together strips of 16 mm and 35 mm film and leader into basket forms. These sculptures reference native basket-weaving traditions and how they’ve been used to stereotype Native Americans. With their blackand brown-hued film stock; green, red and yellow leader; and metallic thread, the works have an all-too-rare blend of formal beauty and conceptual ambiguity. Through June 1. Froelick Gallery, 714 NW Davis St., 222-1142.

Fuchsia blobs slowly morph before a fuzzy white background in Jaq Chartier’s transfixing video installation in the exhibition Ultra Marine. Known for her stain-based paintings, Chartier deploys her signature motifs to depict sea creatures in this show. Particularly revelatory are her works on paper, many of which have glittery surfaces that evoke the phenomenon of bioluminescence. The works on panel are most effective when, as in Floaters, the gestures are big and bold. The fact that Chartier has adapted her essentially abstract style so seamlessly to representational imagery shows just how versatile her technique has become. Through June 1. Elizabeth Leach Gallery, 417 NW 9th Ave., 224-0521.

Lucas Foglia: A Natural Order

Lucas Foglia’s photo essay A Natural Order charts his four-year trek through the backwaters of the American Southeast, documenting the lives of people living off the grid. Some are hippies, some have chosen this way of life for religious reasons, some out of anti-government sentiment, others out of sheer poverty or desperation. Foglia captures them with a piquant but sympathetic eye as they skinny-dip, hunt for food with bows and arrows, teach their daughters to shoot guns, and store freshly slaughtered meat in pinkwatered clawfoot tubs. This is one of Blue Sky’s most beautiful and disturbing shows to date. Through June 2. Blue Sky Gallery, 122 NW 8th Ave., 225-0210.

Matt Leavitt: Curio

Matt Leavitt’s Curio consists of a sand castle, a photo of a tarp-covered car, and 17 doorstops. And that’s it. Are you fascinated yet? Leavitt’s artist statement calls the installation’s elements “archetypes in a critique of the isolation they suggest.” They are, he continues, part of his overall artistic emphasis on “reconciling rational thought with the immediacy and sensuality of direct experience.” With due respect to doorstops, this is exactly the brand of horseshit that has landed the bulk of contemporary art in its current postmodern quagmire. To assemble a hodgepodge this facile, then attempt to rationalize it with M.F.A. lingo this gaseous, takes true nerve. Oy vey. Through June 1. PDX Window Project, 925 NW Flanders St., 222-0063.

Renée Zangara: Ruralization

With Portland’s backyard-chicken craze having gone viral to the point of metastasis, you’d think artists would pounce to parody the phenomenon, just as the TV show Portlandia has. But that’s not what Renée Zangara does in her paean to poultry, Ruralization. No, she plays it straight, rendering chickens and roosters, along with pigs and sheep, with a neo-Impressionist technique that romanticizes rather than satirizes. In the painting Scuffle, she renders a cockfight as a flurry of jots and dashes that would read as an abstract painting, were it not for a beak here, some waddle there, and the odd claw. The chicken fad itself is annoying as hell, but somehow Zangara’s Ruralization elicits more smiles than smirks. Through June 2. Nine Gallery, 122 NW 8th Ave., 227-7114.

Sandy Roumagoux: Thresholds

Artist (and mayor of Newport, Ore.) Sandy Roumagoux slathers her canvases with creamy paint, her quick brushwork conveying a dynamism that counterbalances the serenity of her landscapes. In pieces like Moonshine Falls I and II and Logsden Clearcut, she portrays Oregon’s natural environs with affection and an assured technique. “Northwest regionalism” is sometimes used as a pejorative, but Roumagoux elevates both the phrase and the style itself in these elegant works. Less regal but more amusing than her landscapes are her quirky Family Shelf Life pastiches, with their panting dogs, idiosyncratic portraits and cobbled tchotchkes. Through June 1. Blackfish Gallery, 420 NW 9th Ave., 234-2634.

Ted Katz: Questions

After his beloved mother passed away, painter Ted Katz traveled to Eastern Europe and Russia to absorb the heritage that had been hers. In those diverse landscapes, both terrestrial and psychological, he found the inspiration for the paintings in Questions. Katz paints landscapes semi-abstractly, so that according to the viewer’s eye and mood, swaths

of color register either as sweeping brushstrokes, plains, hills or misty skies. In works such as What Light You Have, he tilts the horizon line, imbuing the composition with the slightly off-kilter ambiguity of questions—such as “Who was my mother, and who am I?”—that cannot fully be answered. Through June 1. Butters Gallery, 520 NW Davis St., second floor, 248-9378.

Uncontrollable Urge

You’ve heard of the yeti, right? You know, the Abominable Snowman? But Yeti is also the name of a multiformat journal edited by Mike McGonigal, who conceived the project as “a general-interest magazine for those with marginal interests.” Thirty artists from around the world, including seven based in Portland, will exhibit artwork featured in Yeti’s pages through the years, much of it with a lowbrow or self-taught aesthetic. The show coincides with the publication of Yeti issue No. 13. To miss it would be…abominable. Through June 14. Portland Museum of Modern Art, 5202 N Albina Ave., 953-0515.

Wider Than a Postcard

Talk about whiplash! You couldn’t swing any further from Breeze Block’s previous show—Stephen Scott Smith’s immersive and monolithic installation—to the gallery’s current offering, which incorporates more than 200 small works by as many artists. How small? They’re the size of a postcard. Curator Sven Davis asked the artists to use existing postcards or to create their own, with each piece themed around the postcard’s locale. Beyond that, anything goes. It’s an exercise in stylistic heterogeneity within homogenous spatial constraints, and while the work varies wildly in subject matter and quality, the salonstyle hang lends a spunky energy to the show as a whole. Through June 1. Breeze Block Gallery, 323 NW 6th Ave., 318-6228.

Working Classics

The two artists in this show are Portland icons. Jason Brown has curated visual-arts programming at the Goodfoot for 12 years and is one of those unassuming, under-theradar types whose civic imprint is way bigger than his personal fingerprint. Then there’s Chris Haberman, who co-manages People’s Art of Portland with Brown. He’s been painting lovably cartoonish, text-laden portraits of Portland peeps for so long, his unique style has gone from irksomely ubiquitous to downright beloved. Both men share a dauntless work ethic and an undiluted love of all things Stumptown. They collaborated on the paintings in this show, which is themed loosely around the idea of the “working-class hero.” Through May 28. Goodfoot Lounge, 2845 SE Stark St., 239-9292.

For more Visual Arts listings, visit

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Willamette Week MAY 22, 2013 wweek.com

Upcoming In-Store Performances ELIJAH FORD WEDNESDAY 5/22 @ 6 PM

No stranger to the industry, Ford is the son of former Black Crowes’ guitar heavyweight Marc Ford. The younger Ford has surely taken some valuable rock n’ roll notes from his father, but has also put together a pop rock vibe that’s completely his own.

WENDY DEWITT FRIDAY 5/24 @ 6 PM

Wendy DeWitt performs a mix of boogie and blues that Robben Ford describes as “straight from the heart.” DeWitt plays in the tradition of Chicago blues and Texas boogie-woogie.

REDCAST SATURDAY 5/25 @ 5 PM

Redcast is an indie pop / rock act from Portland, formed in 2008. They’re known for delivering pop hooks in the guise of indie rock, all with a decidedly retro spin. Portland’s KNRK has dubbed them as one of the “Top 5 Bands in Portland.”

CREEDENCE CLEARWATER REVIVAL SALE! ��

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Sav$e4

Bayou Country, Concert (40th Anniversary Edit), Cosmo’s Factory, Creedence Clearwater Revival, Green River, Pendulum, Willy & The Poor Boys

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Sav$e9

Chronicles and John Fogerty ‘Long Road Home: Ultimate John Fogerty’

BOOKS

MAY 22–28

= WW Pick. Highly recommended. By PENELOPE BASS. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit lecture or reading information at least two weeks in advance to: WORDS, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: words@wweek.com. Fax: 243-1115.

WEDNESDAY, MAY 22 Write Around Portland

Providing free writing workshops in schools, hospitals, prisons and homeless and treatment centers, Write Around Portland provides a creative outlet to communities most in need of a voice. Releasing its 41st book, Hear Each Drop/Escuchar Cada Gota, the organization will host a reading with several of the contributing authors and workshop teachers. First United Methodist Church, 1838 SW Jefferson St., 2344077. 6:30 pm. Free.

Verse in Person

Bringing classic back, the Verse in Person monthly poetry series is hosting a “mid-spring formal” openmic night celebrating original, formal styles of poetry. So whether you get down with sestinas and sonnets, villanelles or terza rimas, forget free verse, and hone those classical composition skills like a 19th-century boss. Multnomah County Library— Northwest Branch, 2300 NW Thurman St., 988-5560. 6:30 pm. Free.

Brian Switek

You’ve known it since you were 6—dinosaurs are fucking awesome. Science writer and dinosaur fanatic Brian Switek indulges his own childlike wonder while exploring the latest discoveries in paleontology in his new book, My Beloved Brontosaurus. Come learn everything you wanted to know about the historic beasts, like what kind of dinosaur Jesus rode. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 2284651. 7:30 pm. Free.

THURSDAY, MAY 23 Julia Sweeney

Comedian and writer (and famously androgynous SNL character Pat), Julia Sweeney explores the comedic fodder of her own life, such as meeting her husband via email and the adoption of her Chinese daughter Mulan. She’ll read from her new book, If It’s Not One Thing, It’s Your Mother. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 228-4651. 7:30 pm. Free.

International Comic Arts Forum

Promoting the appreciation of comics as an art form since ’95, the International Comic Arts Forum brings together artists, critics, historians and teachers to create a forum for presenting and discussing new work. This year’s guest artists include Gabriel Ba, Fabio Moon, Matt Fraction, Greg Rucka, Megan Kelso, Dmitry Yakovlev and others. Sorry, Ziggy. White Stag Building, UO Portland campus, 70 NW Couch St., 541-346-3134. 9 am ThursdaySaturday, May 23-25. Free.

MONDAY, MAY 27 Jim Holt

Interviewing scientists, philosophers and writers across the globe, Jim Holt attempts to unravel the truth of the universe by asking some pretty broad questions, like “Why is there something instead of nothing?” His new book, Why Does the World Exist?, seeks to answer its titular question with Holt serving as cosmological detective. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 2284651. 7:30 pm. Free.

TUESDAY, MAY 28 Paulann Petersen

Oregon poet laureate Paulann Petersen explores a darker realm in her new collection of work, Understory. Influenced by spiritual-

Willamette Week MAY 22, 2013 wweek.com

ity and the natural world, myth and archetype, Peterson delves beneath the surface of the everyday. Better bring a flashlight; it’s dark down there. Broadway Books, 1714 NE Broadway, 284-1726. 7 pm. Free.

Oregon Book Club

Just like being in your own book club but without having to prove you actually read the book, the Oregon Book Club Conversation Series brings together emerging and celebrated authors to discuss their work. It will be an evening of poetry with writer Mary Szybist reading from her new collection, Incarnadine, along with Elyse Fenton, author of Clamor. Literary Arts Center, 925 SW Washington St., 227-2583. 7 pm. Free.

Oregon Encyclopedia Night

The Columbia River Gorge is more than a crowded summer destination for fair-weather hikers and kids

on shrooms; it’s a geologic marvel spanning more than half the state from the barren scablands to dramatic waterfalls. PSU professor of geology Scott Burns will trace the dramatic events that carved the gorge more than 12,000 years ago in his presentation “Cataclysms on the Columbia, the Great Missoula Floods.” McMenamins Edgefield, 2126 SW Halsey St., Troutdale, 6698610. 6:30 pm. Free.

Robert Wrigley

Poet Robert Wrigley has nabbed his fair share of big-time awards and fellowships. But unlike most poets just in it for the fame and riches, Wrigley seeks to examine humankind’s place in the natural world and make the truth sing. Visiting for the Mountain Writers Series, Wrigley will read from his ninth collection of poetry, Anatomy of Melancholy & Other Poems. Joining him will be local jazz bassist Glen Moore to provide the ambiance. TaborSpace, 5441 SE Belmont St. 7:30 pm. $5-$10.

For more Books listings, visit

REVIEW

LAURIE NOTARO, THE POTTY MOUTH AT THE TABLE What do you do about the hobos sleeping in the alley behind your house? It’s a very Portland problem, and one Eugene-based essayist Laurie Notaro tackles along with other uncomfortable moments of everyday life in her new collection, The Potty Mouth at the Table (Gallery Books, 300 pages, $16). Readers may remember Concerning all those Notaro from a WW story about hobos and foodies. a writer’s group led by an author of erotic Harry Potter fanfiction (“Words to the Wolves,” Sept. 12, 2012), reprised for a chapter here, or for her memoirs The Idiot Girls’ Action-Adventure Club and Autobiography of a Fat Bride. The Potty Mouth at the Table, however, focuses exclusively on rudeness. Connected by that thread, The Potty Mouth at the Table features a wide range of topics, from elitist foodies to hobos to a taxi driver’s bad breath and an overreaching body search at the airport. These short snapshots—most don’t exceed 15 pages—are filled with attention-grabbing leads (“The first thing I need to say in my defense is that I never asked to see Anne Frank’s panties,” begins one essay) and descriptive imagery, like of the time Notaro threw up on herself on a train or when a friend put a giant flaming cupcake on Notaro’s back. The essays begin to blend together after long periods of reading, as the drama of everyday experiences is at times overly heightened and exaggerated—as when Notaro describes the abundance of meth addicts she could probably find in the Seattle train station, or how often Eugene residents walk around naked. This works well in essays like “Legends of the Fall,” formatted like a screenplay as her mom and sister recount her sister’s collapse after drinking a hot can of soda too fast (“I can’t believe there’s no tests for Diet Pepsi attacks,” Notaro writes). Other times, the theater can be a little too much, as when Notaro is simply getting a package in the mail or trying to find out who has been using her loofa. In small doses, however, the essays are funny, relatable snippets of everyday life, featuring a wry, often self-deprecating voice and a handful of situations we should all be thankful to avoid experiencing ourselves—like that apparently “dead” hobo in your back alley, having food poisoning on a train and watching a Nazi-riddled Anne Frank ballet. KAITIE TODD. GO: Laurie Notaro will speak at Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., on Friday, May 24. 7:30 pm. Free.

MAY 22–28 FEATURE

= WW Pick. Highly recommended.

WA R N E R B R O S . P I C T U R E S

MOVIES

Editor: REBECCA JACOBSON. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, send screening information at least two weeks in advance to Screen, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: rjacobson@wweek.com. Fax: 243-1115.

3 Geezers!

[ONE NIGHT ONLY] A mockumentary about an actor who researches an upcoming movie role by hanging out at an old folks’ home, where the residents are raunchier than expected. Clinton Street Theater. 5 pm Wednesday, May 22.

D+ Jackie Robinson is an American legend: The first black player to break Major League Baseball’s color barrier, he shouldered the hopes of a generation, weathering a flurry of abuse to open the gates for future players to partake in America’s pastime. Brian Helgeland’s Robinson biopic, 42, will also secure a spot in history: history class. This is the kind of shoddy biopic that teachers will keep in the bullpen for sick days, so some hungover substitute can put it on for a “lesson.” Yet this is neither a good sports movie nor a worthwhile historical film. If one were to piece together Robinson’s story based solely on 42, it would read as follows: Jackie Robinson (Chadwick Boseman) was a nice, college-educated man who loved his wife. One day, Brooklyn Dodgers general manager Branch Rickey (Harrison Ford) called him up to the bigs. Most white players didn’t like him, spending so much time snarling racial slurs they didn’t realize he was both nice and good at baseball. Then everyone realized he was good at baseball. Then they were friends. Despite Boseman’s best efforts, Robinson’s character is criminally underdeveloped, and Ford is reduced to the kind of white-personsolves-racism role that scored Sandra Bullock an Oscar. Even the baseball sequences are lazily constructed. Hell, Remember the Titans is a more complex, moving portrait of racial tensions in sports. 42 is a hackneyed, cookie-cutter film that manages to tell us absolutely nothing about a turning point in American history. But on the bright side, at least it’ll provide endless naps for future history students when their teachers are sick. PG-13. AP KRYZA. Clackamas, City Center, Fox Tower, Lloyd Mall, Sherwood, Tigard.

The Brass Teapot

C [ONE NIGHT ONLY] The Brass

Teapot is where Machiavelli, Sauron’s ring and Aladdin’s lamp meet. Operating on the basic idea that power and money corrupt, this wellintentioned but silly film follows John and Alice (Michael Angarano and Juno Temple), a young married couple so in love they don’t seem to mind that they have no food—until they steal an ancient brass teapot from a thrift shop and find that whenever they hurt themselves, $100 bills come flying out the top. Many curling-iron burns, punches and accidental hammer smashes later, the couple begins a life of tortured wealth and payment for their own physical pain. But this soon escalates into something much more sinister: John and Alice discover that when others nearby are in physical or emotional pain, the mystical teapot spits out more cash. The film itself, helmed by first-time director Ramaa Mosley, relies on not-always-successful dark comedy and slapstick. But the thin plot is boosted by performances from Temple, who creepily encapsulates the greed and evil that slowly overtake her character (especially when she first emotionally abuses her husband), and Angarano, sweet and vulnerable as he tries to stop the teapot’s power over their lives. R. KAITIE TODD. Living Room Theaters. 7:30 pm Thursday, May 23.

Caesar Must Die

B+ Featuring an all-male cast with enough stubble to carpet the Colosseum, Caesar Must Die is a deeply emotional Italian sausagefest. Brothers Paolo and Vittorio Taviani follow actual inmates rehearsing a pro-

duction of Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar in Rome’s Rebibbia prison—but the film’s not a documentary, and if you didn’t know any better, you’d assume this band of drug traffickers, gangsters and murderers were professional actors. The passion with which cast members explore their roles, earnestly stumbling upon parallels between the play and their own lives, is raw and startling. Antonio Frasca plays a shattering Marc Antony, performing his eulogy of Caesar from the middle of the prison yard as inmates hang from the bars on their windows, screaming their lines back to him. EMILY JENSEN. Living Room Theaters.

City Baby

B- [ONE NIGHT ONLY] In Frances

Ha, another movie about twentysomethings opening this week (see review on page 41), an unseen character decides to move from New York City to Portland. In City Baby, the twentysomething Portlanders want to move to New York. That’s not the only reversal: Where Frances Ha’s protagonist is a deeply lovable mess, City Baby’s protagonist is a deeply unlovable mess. Cloey (co-writer and Portlander Cora Benesh) is an aimless but gorgeous trust-fund baby. She’s dating an aging rocker, haphazardly pursuing a modeling career and acting in awful community theater productions—and whining like a middle-school drama queen all the way through. Cloey’s best friend, Paige (a quite good Jillian Leigh), meanwhile, is far more sympathetic in her grapplings with romance and career. Director David Morgan flecks the film with recognizable scenes (nude volleyball on Sauvie Island) and homegrown sounds (Starfucker plays live and Stephen Malkmus makes a cameo appearance), as well as jokes about Portland’s weather (“I love being damp 250 days a year”) and anticareerism (“I’ve never lived in a city where it’s so fashionable to be so unemployed,” says a Porsche-driving Wieden+Kennedy exec). But this local confetti isn’t enough to overcome the unlikable, overgrown infant at the center of City Baby. “I feel like nobody likes me,” Cloey snivels to her dad (Daniel Baldwin). All too true, unfortunately. REBECCA JACOBSON. Cinema 21. 7:30 pm Thursday, May 23.

The Croods

B So here’s the thing: The Croods fails to conjure a complex or logically consistent world. It fails to populate that world with credible characters, or to usher those characters through a series of dramatically satisfying trials. But so what? Psychedelic, exuberant and dumb, The Croods, written and directed by Chris Sanders and Kirk DeMicco, harks back to a simpler time when so-called “family films” were permitted—nay, expected—to be willfully incoherent, so long as they served up thrills, spills, zingers, romance and a healthy dose of innocuous schmaltz. Now, for better or for worse, filmgoers weaned on Pixar and Studio Ghibli have come to expect— nay, demand—sophistication and subtlety, not to mention visual pyrotechnics, from second-tier animated films. Of course, not every animated feature can be WALL-E; some of them have to be The Croods. In a nutshell: Nic Cage, voicing a knuckle-dragging caveman, cracks wise, pulls faces and delivers zany, half-cooked monologues on death and love and family amid stunning, oversaturated landscapes that evoke both Dr. Seuss and early Tex Avery-era Looney Tunes. Allow me to reiterate: Nic Cage, cavemen, zaniness. That’s all you need to know, that’s pretty much all you’ll get, and that ain’t necessarily a bad thing. PG. MARSHALL WALKER LEE. Eastport, Clackamas, Indoor Twin, Oak Grove, City Center, Division, Evergreen Parkway, Lloyd Mall, Movies on TV, Sherwood, Tigard.

CONT. on page 40

SHEET STORM: Bradley Cooper, Zach Galifianakis and Ed Helms prepare for assuredly wacky hijinks.

THE HANGOVER MAD LIBS BY MATTHEW SIN GE R

msinger@wweek.com

In the first Hangover sequel, writer-director Todd Phillips took the formula of his surprise mega-hit original, covered it in shit and pig’s blood, and came away with a mean, lazy, cash-grabbing rehash. As it turns out, those were Phillips’ good ideas. There is no actual hangover in the third and, we’re assured, final Hangover movie, but the effort is that

Stu (Ed Helms), Alan (Zach Galifianakis), Chucky (

of a bunch of guys who got dragged into work the morning after the office party, resulting in a tepid finale seemingly designed to bore the audience into never demanding another film. You know better, though. When the Wolfpack inevitably reunites, the script will be written in the way the last two movies seemingly have been: as a game of Mad Libs. So, we figured, why not just write your own? It couldn’t be much worse.

C-LIST ACTOR REPLACING BRADLEY COOPER

are in mourning: Best buddy Phil (Bradley Cooper) is dead of

HILARIOUS VENEREAL DISEASE

) and the other guy contracted during

their wild nights together. Total bummer, right? Well, this group doesn’t do bummers! Three days before the funeral, the surviving crew (and Chucky—don’t forget Chucky!) decides to honor Phil’s dying wish by stealing his corpse and burning it in

SOUTH AMERICAN COUNTRY

What starts out as a good old-fashioned corpse-burning is quickly turned upside down when Alan spikes everyone’s drink with

OBSCURE ANIMAL TRANQUILIZER

. The next day, our heroes (and Chucky) wake up in

their hotel room, with no recollection of what happened the night before! What’s more, there’s a in the closet and a

HILARIOUS ETHNICITY

midget in Alan’s bed, and Stu is missing his

BODY PART

WILD ANIMAL

! But that’s not

the only thing missing: Phil’s gone too! The next 24 hours are a race to put the pieces together and get Phil’s body back. Along the way, the crew experiences a series of wacky misadventures never before seen on film, let alone in The Hangover series. Stu freaks out after learning he had sex with and a

ANOTHER WILD ANIMAL

! Hey, what’s

OCTOGENARIAN ACTRESS

! Alan befriends a

STUNT-CASTED TABLOID CELEBRITY

What?!? And that’s all before the infamous Mr. Chow (Ken Jeong) leaps out of a SOMETHING DEGRADING

suffers from

and yells, “

SOMETHING RACIST

HILARIOUS MENTAL DISORDER

SHADY PROFESSIONAL

doing there?! He’s Chucky’s cousin? TINY SPACE

wearing

!” Did we mention there’s a midget? There is, and he

! So who knows what he’s gonna do?!

Eventually, the guys retrieve Phil to get him back for the funeral. They deliver his body in the nick of time via

CONVOLUTED MODE OF TRANSPORTATION

, and everyone learns something about

IMPORTANT THEME

. As they

look at the photos from their lost vacation on Chucky’s iPad, they vow this will be their last adventure. Then Phil’s astronaut uncle (

GRIZZLED OLD ACTOR

) arrives, saying the boys would be perfect for a top-secret

experimental NASA program he’s heading. Did someone say The Hangover 5: Hungover…in Space?!? D SEE IT: The Hangover Part III is rated R. It opens Friday at Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, CineMagic, Living Room Theaters, Lloyd Center, Lloyd Mall, Division, St. Johns Twin, Evergreen Parkway, Tigard, Bridgeport, Movies on TV, Mill Plain, Cornelius, Oak Grove, Cinema 99, City Center, Hilltop, Sherwood, Wilsonville, Sandy.

Willamette Week MAY 22, 2013 wweek.com

MOVIES

MAY 22–28 PA R A M O U N T P I C T U R E S

Experimental Film Festival

[FIVE DAYS ONLY] Portland’s showcase of avant-garde, genre-busting media returns for its second year with heaps of screenings, installations, workshops, lectures and parties. Look for stop-motion hamburgers, NSFW shorts, kung fu video collages and child-friendly films about butterflies. Multiple venues. Wednesday-Sunday, May 22-26. For full schedule, see effportland.com.

Fast & Furious 6

B- Watching the Fast & Furious

movies is a lot like getting stuck in a bar with a loud, muscle-bound drunk in an Ed Hardy shirt. At first, he’s pretty off-putting. Then you have a few rounds with him and realize he’s not really that bad. And five in, you start to realize the dude’s pretty fun. Sure, he’s loud, brash, gawdy, stupid, sexist, intense and tends to ramble incoherently, but he’s still really not that bad. And after six rounds—which is where we are in the F&F series—you really kinda like him. You’ve become a little numb, and it’s fun to watch him do crazy shit out of the blue. Maybe he’ll smash a pint over his head. Or drive a fuckin’ tank down a busy highway, smashing into everything he sees. Maybe his homie The Rock will show up, or his hot friend Gina Carano. And maybe they’ll fight each other. Then he’ll get a little incoherent, and you’ll start to lose interest. Until he totally fucking flips out and starts blowing up everything he can see. And then he’s kind of awesome again. Maybe you’re just drunk, but you kind of want to keep hanging out with him. And next morning, you’ve pretty much forgotten what went down. But at least you remember it was fun. PG13. AP KRYZA. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Mill Plain, Cornelius, Lloyd Center, Oak Grove, Cinema 99, Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Evergreen Parkway, Hilltop, Lloyd Mall, Movies on TV, Pioneer Place, Sherwood, Tigard, Wilsonville, Sandy.

G.I. Joe: Retaliation

D As “How You Like Me Now?”

blares presumptuously over G.I. Joe: Retaliation’s end credits, dejected viewers will be excused for muttering, “I actually liked you a lot better before.” While this sequel/reboot boasts the same slapdash storytelling and risible dialogue as its predecessor, John M. Chu (Step Up 3D) can’t infuse the material with the same cartoonish energy Stephen Sommers lent 2009’s The Rise of Cobra. Displaying an aversion to outrageousness, this action flick instead traffics in gardenvariety ridiculousness. Consequently, minor pleasures are the best it can muster, such as Jonathan Pryce’s mischievous turn as the Cobra terrorist who’s assumed the president’s identity. When he orders an airstrike that reduces the G.I. Joe ranks to Roadblock (Dwayne Johnson) and three others, the supposedly international strike force holes up in an abandoned gym and calls on a retiree (Bruce Willis) and his NRA buddies for backup. Given such dreary alternatives, Snake Eyes (Ray Park) understandably defects for a vastly superior subplot featuring ninjas, RZA and cliffhanging melees. Ultimately, this over-the-top tangent only serves to illustrate just what a joyless slog the actual climax is. PG-13. CURTIS WOLOSCHUK. Avalon, Edgefield, Indoor Twin, Kennedy School, Milwaukie, Mt. Hood, St. Johns, Valley.

The Great Gatsby

C Baz Luhrmann’s adaptation of The

Great Gatsby begins, appropriately enough, with decoration—a gold-filigreed frame that accordions outward in 3-D before suddenly cutting to a swimmy shot of some water, under a voice-over that dopily bastardizes the book’s opening lines. Then, yet another framing device. Turns out Nick Carraway (Tobey Maguire), the always-just-outside-the-action narrator of Gatsby, is telling the entire story of the movie to his psychologist. Well, it’s always good to let the crowd know what they’re in for: a little bit of pretty, a little bit of confusion, a whole lot of stupid. Luhrmann’s 1920s New York is a phantasmagoric spectacle, and the

STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS script lobotomizes the novel’s dialogue into amazing subcamp clunkers. But while Luhrmann’s Gatsby is a far cry from the novel by F. Scott Fitzgerald, it is in its own way quite affecting: Badly married silver-spooner Daisy Buchanan (Carey Mulligan) and besmirched tycoon Jay Gatsby (Leonardo DiCaprio) have been cast here not as cautionary tales, but as star-crossed lovers. DiCaprio plays the kid from Titanic grown up into a clueless Howard Hughes. Daisy’s a nice girl, too, though almost too sympathetic in Mulligan’s capable hands for her callow decisions to make sense. The contemporary soundtrack, despite a lot of knee-jerk criticism, isn’t overly distracting. The novel, for all the Jazz Age frenzy it depicts, plays a much softer music—and it is this music one recalls when thinking back on the book, the sadness and the subtle sense of doom contained in every misbegotten line uttered by its characters. Funny that in such a musical film, this music is the one thing Luhrmann couldn’t hear. PG-13. MATTHEW KORFHAGE. Eastport, Clackamas, Mill Plain, Cornelius, Forest, Lloyd Center, Oak Grove, City Center, Division, Evergreen Parkway, Fox Tower, Lloyd Mall, Movies on TV, Sherwood, Tigard, Roseway, Sandy.

Greetings From Tim Buckley

D Greetings From Tim Buckley is not

a film for folks with a passing interest in the work of the titular singersongwriter and his son Jeff. This is hagiography in the form of a biopic, intended to soothe the tender hearts of those who’ve obsessed over the younger Buckley’s music ever since his untimely death in 1997. Because the Jeff Buckley depicted on screen is not the self-aware and, some would say, calculating figure that rose to acclaim via his sole studio album, 1994’s Grace. As portrayed by Gossip Girl pretty boy Penn Badgley, this Jeff is a tender and twitchy soul, adorably wooing a girl in New York as he confronts his past in the form of a 1991 concert honoring his father’s music. To aid in Badgley’s brooding are flashbacks of the elder Buckley enjoying success as a musician in the ’60s and abandoning his family for the sake of his career (“My wife doesn’t like my music,” he repeats in one scene). The apparent intention is to offer a parallel to Jeff’s own selfish acts, but that never comes to light. In its place is a manic pixie tortured artist edging ever closer to his eventual canonization. ROBERT HAM. Hollywood Theatre.

Grindhouse Film Festival: Lady Terminator

[ONE NIGHT ONLY, REVIVAL] All you need to know is that the killing machine at the center of this 1988 Indonesian film has an eel inside her vagina that castrates men who can’t please her. R. Hollywood Theatre. 7:30 pm Tuesday, May 28.

High Tech, Low Life

B+ [ONE NIGHT ONLY] “I used to

be nobody. Until I discovered the Internet,” says Zhou Shuguang, a citizen journalist attempting to circumvent China’s harsh censorship laws through blogging. According to the film, which follows Zhou and an

Willamette Week MAY 22, 2013 wweek.com

older blogger named Zhang Shihe, 68 Chinese citizens were in jail as of 2012 for online activities. Director Stephen Maing juxtaposes clips of watereddown government TV broadcasts with scenes from Zhou and Zhang’s quest to bring real news to their followers online, fighting through “The Great Firewall” of China’s Web censorship. Both risk arrest and prosecution for, as Zhou puts it, simply recording what they witness. “I’m in my 50s,” says Zhang, who bikes through the countryside searching for untold stories. “I won’t live much longer. I should tell the truth.” Zhou, on the other hand, uses his reporting both as a tool for justice and a platform for his own personal fame. Though his hammy bravado can be annoying (taking a grinning selfie in front of a murdered girl’s coffin, for example), the fact remains that he and Shihe are both brave souls practicing journalism in its purest, most exciting form—in a country where the truth is so scarce and powerful that it can change lives just by being told. EMILY JENSEN. Clinton Street Theater. 7 pm Thursday, May 23.

The Iceman

C Michael Shannon—whose hot streak of late includes 2011’s best (and most overlooked) performance in Take Shelter—has steadily built a catalog that dips into a huge swath of roles, from heroes to villains to corrupted do-gooders and stoned-out hillbillies. His unique visage adds an extra dimension to his startling portrayals, with his cracked features serving as a road map for all his characters have been through. Shannon’s considerable physical presence is perfect for The Iceman, the tale of Richard Kuklinski, a hit man who claimed to have killed more than 100 people while posing as a businessman to his unsuspecting family. As Kuklinski, Shannon seethes menace, stoically staring into the hellish abyss as he guns down whomever his boss (a formidable Ray Liotta) sees fit. It’s a chilling true-crime nightmare. Yet The Iceman comes off completely cold. Ariel Vromen’s film has the look, feel and pace of a TV movie crafted by a kid who grew up on Goodfellas, right down to montages of slaughter set to classic rock, and time jumps where you can only guess the decade by Shannon’s ever-changing facial hair. It’s up to the supporting cast to shoulder the humanity as Kuklinski’s crimes grow more disturbing, and with the exception of Liotta, nobody seems game. As the clueless wife, Winona Ryder seems on autopilot. Other casting choices are befuddling and distracting, such as a frantic, ponytailed David Schwimmer or a James Franco cameo. Shannon creates a believable boogeyman, but as the supporting cast flounders and the plot becomes increasingly rudderless, the film grows more and more sterile. Maybe coming off ultra-cold is the point, but it certainly doesn’t make the film engaging. R. AP KRYZA. Fox Tower.

I Don’t Feel at Home in This World Anymore

[ONE NIGHT ONLY] Archival video footage and photography of gospel, blues and folk musicians (including the Carter Family, Abner Jay and the

Georgia Sea Island Singers), drawn from Mississippi Records and the Alan Lomax Archive. Hollywood Theatre. 7:30 pm Monday, May 27.

In the House

A- In the delightfully sinister In

the House, a high-school teacher named Germain (Fabrice Luchini) positions himself as the Sultan to student Claude’s (Ernst Umhauer) Scheherazade, waiting eagerly and somewhat menacingly for each fresh chapter. It’s just one of many cunning constructions in French director François Ozon’s film, which celebrates the power of storytelling while also detailing its dangerously high stakes. When Germain asks his students to write about their weekend, Claude responds with a provocative, leering story about a classmate and his bourgeois family. Germain, a failed writer of fiction, quickly finds himself wrapped up in Claude’s unfolding tale: as an editor and as an avid reader. Claude entangles himself with the family: He joins basketball games, sleeps over, eavesdrops on private conversations, sneaks into the parents’ bedroom and ultimately seduces the mother. Ozon allows his characters to comment on or interrupt the proceedings, and it’s not always clear where reality stops and Claude’s fantasy sequences begin. But the film is propelled by performances alternately entrancing and repellent. Luchini’s deadpan comedy contrasts brilliantly with Umhauer’s moody, mischievous and slightly smarmy performance as a teenage boy who knows he’s in too deep. As teacher and student bask in their choreographed drama, Germain’s wife, Jeanne (Kristin Scott Thomas), drops cutting asides and cautionary remarks from the wings. Ozon may be knowingly clever, but the thrills and tortures of voyeurism have rarely been so playful—or so skin-crawling. R. REBECCA JACOBSON. Living Room Theaters.

Iron Man 3

A- Going dark, as superhero movies

are wont to do in the third round, without losing its charm, Iron Man 3 emerges as a top-tier superhero yarn that emphasizes something too often forgotten by its brethren: Comic-book movies are supposed to be fun. Here, our hero (the great Robert Downey Jr.) squares off against an Osama bin Laden-type villain known as the Mandarin (Ben Kingsley), a deranged scientist (Guy Pearce) and an army of super soldiers. In reuniting Downey with Kiss Kiss Bang Bang director Shane Black, Marvel has managed yet another home run in a series of blockbuster gambits. In Black—the man who invented the banter-driven buddy-cop genre with Lethal Weapon—Marvel has finally found a writer who can convey Stark’s gift for fast talk and self-deprecating barbs. He’s populated his film with loquacious henchmen, slapstick sight gags and enough putdowns to fuel 1,000 celebrity roasts. In keeping Stark out of his armor for much of the film, Black has crafted a superhero film that harks back to the golden years of summer action. Iron Man 3 isn’t just a fine superhero film. It isn’t just a fine action flick, either. It’s a film that embraces a mold before completely breaking it with out-ofleft-field twists and turns that keep the viewer engaged and chuckling with alarming frequency. PG-13. AP KRYZA. 99 West, Eastport, Clackamas, Mill Plain, Cornelius, Lloyd Center, Oak Grove, City Center, Division, Evergreen Parkway, Lloyd Mall, Movies on TV, Pioneer Place, Sherwood, Tigard, Sandy.

Love Is All You Need

C- When I sit down to watch a roman-

tic comedy, I enter a silent covenant with the filmmaker: You give me fluffyheaded brain candy so that I may pickle my intellect in nonsense for two hours, and I won’t judge you for spending absurd amounts of money to make a film that has already been made a million times before. Love Is All You Need breaks that covenant. Though it bears the holy trinity of clichés that make a sappy chick flick—a cheating husband, cancer and a wedding—much of the film is in Danish, meaning one must expend

extra effort to understand the silly dialogue, thus stirring the brain from its rom-com-induced stupor. Pierce Brosnan and Trine Dyrholm are both commendably charming, but the god-awful script overshadows their performances. Brosnan plays a lemonpeddling widower whose son is about to get married in Italy, and Dyrholm plays the cancer-fighting, cheated-on mother of the bride. They fall in love, obviously, and though they ultimately manage to make their romance somewhat believable, it simply isn’t worth the brain strain. R. EMILY JENSEN. Fox Tower.

Midnight’s Children

B- I never thought I’d say this, but perhaps Salman Rushdie isn’t giving himself enough credit. In adapting his 1981 Booker Prize-winning novel, he works with director Deepa Mehta for a film that clocks in at 146 minutes, but which hardly seems long enough to give the three-part epic its due. Rushdie’s work of historical fiction is an allegory that covers the end of British colonialism in India and the subsequent formation of Pakistan and, later, Bangladesh. Onscreen, it’s difficult to avoid beating the audience with a sack full of symbolism, and so Rushdie overcompensates by dulling the metaphoric edge—and the magical realism—a little too much. Instead of staying so true to the narrative arc, time should’ve been spent developing the spirit of the novel, best represented by the children born in the first hour of India’s independence and imbued with mystical talents. We follow Saleem Sinai (Satya Bhabha), one such Midnight’s Child, who is switched at birth and grows up wealthy, with a front-row seat to a politically volatile India. In a film that can never quite nail down its own mood, Saleem comes off as a more somber Forrest Gump figure, always at the right place at the right time to give us a somewhat awkward tour of India’s recent history. There are moments, though, when the allegory is treated with a light enough touch to make it devastating. SAUNDRA SORENSON. Fox Tower.

Milk

[THREE DAYS ONLY, REVIVAL] Gus Van Sant’s stellar biopic about San Francisco politician Harvey Milk, with a gut-punching performance by Sean Penn. R. Fifth Avenue Cinema. 7 and 9:30 pm Friday-Saturday, 3 pm Sunday, May 24-26.

Mud

B As with many stories about coming

of age under harsh circumstances, a mighty river runs through the center of Jeff Nichols’ Mud, a Southern-fried fable about two adolescent Arkansas boys whose childhoods are wrested from them. Yet unlike last year’s excellent Beasts of the Southern Wild, this is a fable more grounded in reality. Rampaging prehistoric monsters are replaced by unfaithful women and gangsters. But, much like Beasts, Mud is at heart the story of mighty forces encroaching on children’s innocence. The film centers on buddies Ellis (Tye Sheridan) and Neckbone (Jacob Lofland), who encounter Mud (Matthew McConaughey), a disheveled fugitive hiding out on an isolated island and waiting for his love to join him so they can flee. Drawn to his charisma, Ellis plays Pip to Mud’s Magwitch, delivering food and supplies in hopes of proving that true love conquers all. Meanwhile, vigilantes and crooked cops home in on the island. It’s a remarkably simple set-up, but what seems like a cut-and-dry tale of a mythical bum is instead a rich story of adolescent confusion. Each choice the boys make to help Mud comes steeped in consequence. Add to that the divorce of Ellis’ parents and Neckbone’s feelings of abandonment, and the emotional heft is staggering. It’s also a lot for young actors to handle, but Sheridan and Lofland shoulder it beautifully. McConaughey meshes Mud’s conflicted morals and his mysticism, creating a character at once larger than life and completely rudderless. Central to the entire narrative, though, is the river. As in The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn—

MAY 22–28

Oblivion

C- In terms of blockbuster source material, “based on an unpublished graphic novel” may not send pulses racing, but it at least offers the allure of the unknown. After all, how many directors other than Christopher Nolan have recently convinced a studio to pony up nine figures on a sci-fi epic that wasn’t already a proven commodity? Joseph Kosinski—whose TRON: Legacy failed to make much of a commercial or critical impression—somehow convinced Universal execs to loosen their purse strings and make his unpublished comic a renderedin-IMAX reality. And while his sophomore feature capably demonstrates his knack for envisioning and realizing alternate realms, it also confirms that he remains incapable of cobbling together a compelling story. Oblivion kicks off in much the same fashion as Legacy: with onerous exposition. Jack Harper (Tom Cruise) informs us it’s 2077, some 60 years after Earth was decimated during an alien invasion. Jack now resides with his “assigned” wife, Victoria (Andrea Riseborough), in a gleaming penthouse towering over an expansive wasteland. However, a throwaway line about “mandatory memory wipes” is destined to boomerang back and complicate matters. Alas, we practically have to wait until the 22nd century for the other shoe to drop and Julia (Olga Kurylenko) to crash from the heavens, claiming to be Jack’s real wife. In the interim, we’re left to marvel at the immaculate post-apocalyptic vistas and to lament Cruise’s continued devolution into an action-movie automaton. Forsaking its languid pace in its second hour, Oblivion piles on dodgy plot developments and largely unsurprising “revelations.” The film is too somber to cater in escapist thrills and too vacuous to offer emotional or intellectual engagement. PG-13. CURTIS WOLOSCHUK. Eastport, Clackamas, Oak Grove, City Center, Evergreen Parkway, Fox Tower, Lloyd Mall, Movies on TV, Sherwood, Tigard.

Oconomowoc

[TWO NIGHTS ONLY] Try pronouncing this one at the box office. Andy Gillies’ comedy is set in the titular small Wisconsin town, where a sadsack man-child moves back into his mother’s house. Clinton Street Theater. 9 pm Wednesday-Thursday, May 22-23.

Oz the Great and Powerful

B Watching the spectacle that

is James Franco feels like watching a great con man. But damned if the handsome bastard isn’t a charmer. So it only makes sense to cast Franco as moviedom’s original master con man in Oz the Great and Powerful. In The Wizard of Oz, the “man behind the curtain” was nothing but a carnival magician using smoke and mirrors to maintain the illusion of power. Here, the curtain’s pulled back further to reveal the wizard’s origins as a hack transported from Kansas to Oz, where he must take on an evil witch to save the Munchkins and talking monkeys. But in the hands of director Sam Raimi, L. Frank Baum’s world comes fantastically to life. Oz is overlong and often cheesy, but those flaws are also part of the charm of a film that doesn’t try to surpass its predecessor so much as supplement it. It’s a carnival magician of a film overflowing with imagination, and to those who come ready to believe, its magic is undeniable. PG. AP KRYZA. Academy, Avalon, Clackamas, Edgefield, Kennedy School, Laurelhurst, Mt. Hood, Movies on TV, Tigard, St. Johns, Valley.

Pain & Gain

B- When considering Dwayne

Johnson’s cinematic oeuvre, it’s helpful to keep one thing in mind: The Rock’s movies may not be especially good, but he still makes for an infinitely more likable lead than most of his peers in the actioncomedy subgenre. It’s doubtful that even the most ardent critics of Tooth Fairy (a long list that presumably includes nearly everyone who saw Tooth Fairy) would deny the part-time WWE star’s inherent charisma, with his easygoing demeanor and thousand-watt smile providing a vital counterbalance to his imposing physique. So perhaps it’s not so surprising that Johnson’s new movie isn’t all that bad, despite being directed by Michael Bay. Opposite

Mark Wahlberg—who plays Daniel Lugo, a former personal trainer and bodybuilder from Miami currently on death row for crimes he committed in 1995—Johnson plays Lugo’s accomplice Paul Doyle. Doyle is a mostly gentle giant who gets in over his head, but he remains the closest thing the film has to a moral compass. Lugo decides to be a “doer” after attending a selfimprovement seminar. That in mind, he launches a plot to part a wealthy client (Tony Shalhoub) from his considerable fortune. The ensuing hijinks feature all the slow-mo, violence, bottle blondes and casual homophobia we’ve come, resentfully, to expect from Bay. What’s

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REVIEW IFC FILMS

another tale of a child and fugitive— it functions almost as a character, rising and falling with the narrative, hiding secrets in its murky depths and moving everything forward with its current. Mud is far from perfect, but it’s almost impossible not to get swept away by it. PG-13. AP KRYZA. Clackamas, Hollywood, City Center, Fox Tower, Movies on TV.

MOVIES

DANCING ON MY OWN: Greta Gerwig skips and spins.

FRANCES HA People have been trying to figure out twentysomethings at least since Dustin Hoffman unzipped Anne Bancroft’s dress. In 2010, The New York Times Magazine ran a late-to-the-game article about a “new” life stage called “emerging adulthood” (a phrase coined by a psychology researcher a decade before) when self-indulgence and self-discovery collide. The exuberant and disarming Frances Ha is a portrait of one such emerging adult, shot in resplendent black-and-white and scored like a French New Wave film. As played with haphazard elegance by Greta Gerwig, Frances is a 27-year-old aspiring dancer in New York City still lurching through the obstacle course of a privileged post-collegiate life. Sometimes life is a playground, as when Frances and best friend Sophie (a snappy Mickey Sumner) play fight in Central Park or snuggle platonically in their apartment. And sometimes it’s a minefield, with the perils of adulthood blowing up without warning in Frances’ face, as when Sophie announces she’s moving out. The transformation of this friendship—Frances compares them to “an old lesbian couple that doesn’t have sex anymore”—sends our protagonist skidding. While Sophie grows more serious about her hedge-fund boyfriend, Frances remains needy, frequently oblivious of others and prone to hogging conversations with directionless soliloquies. Yet she’s immensely likable. Gerwig strips her performance of affect or cutesiness; unlike those manic pixie dream girls, she’s not being quirky just to snag a guy. In fact, aside from a throwaway boyfriend in an early scene, Frances is single throughout. A male roommate pronounces her “undatable,” which she reinforces by emitting a robotic honk when trust-fund playboy Lev (Girls’ Adam Driver) makes a move. This non-romantic bent lends Frances Ha freshness, amplified by the rhythmic, sprightly screenplay, co-written by Gerwig and Noah Baumbach. “I’m not messy, I’m busy,” says Frances. Later, after a squabble, she sputters at Sophie: “Don’t treat me like a three-hour brunch friend!” It’s fluid yet fizzy, specific yet eminently relatable. In one of the loveliest moments, David Bowie’s “Modern Love” plays as Frances spins through the streets. Backpack bouncing, floral-print dress cutting a contrast with the crosswalk striping, she’s every bit the emerging adult: aimless yet hopeful, self-absorbed yet in wide-eyed awe at the big, beautiful world. And as the audience, we’re lucky to run alongside her. REBECCA JACOBSON.

Girls, directed by Woody Allen and François Truffaut.

A-

SEE IT: Frances Ha is rated R. It opens Friday at Cinema 21. Willamette Week MAY 22, 2013 wweek.com

MAY 22–28

unexpected, however, is that Pain & Gain occasionally transcends the mindless, bringing to mind the much more nuanced Bernie in its examination of outwardly likable villains. Pain & Gain tells a story so perfectly suited to its director’s music-video aesthetic that it almost seems immaterial whether Bay knows (or cares) that he’s part of the surface-level pursuits his film both glamorizes and laments. R. MICHAEL NORDINE. Clackamas, Lloyd Center, City Center, Pioneer Place.

The Place Beyond the Pines

C+ Among the things that made director Derek Cianfrance’s breakout feature, Blue Valentine, so powerful was its extremely limited scope. With The Place Beyond the Pines, Cianfrance expands this scope, enveloping two families across more than a decade of distress, triumph and tragedy. Yet somewhere along the way, the director loses the heart that marked his previous triumph. The Place Beyond the Pines packs bravura performances across a sprawling narrative. But it’s also about 60 minutes longer than it needs to be, and runs out of gas after its remarkable first act. It’s a film that’s completely overstuffed, and oftentimes overcooked. In the film’s most captivating section, we’re introduced to Luke (Ryan Gosling), a carnival stuntman who discovers he’s sired a son. As he turns to robbing banks, he crosses paths with a rookie cop (Bradley Cooper), who himself comes across massive corruption. Were that not enough, the film then fast-forwards 15 years to peer into the clichéd lives of the pair’s sons. Each segment devotes too little time to developing motivations. Had Cianfrance given his characters more room to breathe, the film might transcend the genre trappings it falls into so easily. In widening his lens, the director loses focus on the big picture. R. AP KRYZA. Fox Tower.

Reel Feminism: The Learning

[ONE NIGHT ONLY] A documentary about four Filipina women making it as schoolteachers in Baltimore. Clinton Street Theater. 7 pm Wednesday, May 22.

Reel Relics: Who Is Poly Styrene/X-Ray Spex?

[TWO NIGHTS ONLY, REVIVAL] A retro BBC documentary from 1979 about the punk-rock band and its frontwoman, Marianne Elliott-Said. Clinton Street Theater. 10:30 pm Friday and 9:30 pm Saturday, May 24-25.

The Reluctant Fundamentalist

C Heading into The Reluctant Fundamentalist, you can’t help but admire director Mira Nair’s nerve. After suffering a setback like 2009’s Amelia—a dull biopic about Earhart— many filmmakers would’ve looked to fly under the radar with their followup. However, this story of a Muslim foreigner growing fiercely disenchanted with his adopted American home was always bound to court controversy. Unfortunately for Nair, this haphazard adaptation of Mohsin Hamid’s novel doesn’t stand up so well. After an American professor is kidnapped in Lahore, journalist Bobby Lincoln (Liev Schreiber) scores an interview with Changez Khan (Riz Ahmed), a firebrand academic who’s a “person of interest” in the disappearance. This establishes a Life of Pi-like framing device in which Changez flashes back to a life-altering journey he made from Pakistan to New York City in 2001. A rising star on Wall Street, he also falls for an affluent artist (a woeful Kate Hudson). Then, the Twin Towers fall and Changez’s world implodes. Given the withering view Nair takes of the racial profiling that flourished after 9/11, it’s odd that she’s so comfortable populating her film with one-dimensional supporting characters and outright stereotypes. Ahmed evinces Changez’s internal conflict and conveys key turning points with subtle shifts in his bearing or hardening of his eyes, but this sophisticated performance deserves better material. At its most crucial stage, The Reluctant Fundamentalist lacks the courage of its convictions, allowing Changez and Bobby’s game of ideological cat-andmouse to degenerate into a much

more conventional standoff. R. CURTIS WOLOSCHUK. Living Room Theaters.

Road House in Hecklevision

[ONE NIGHT ONLY, REVIVAL] Pain don’t hurt, but you might be able to sling some snarky texts at Patrick Swayze. R. Hollywood Theatre. 7:30 pm Saturday, May 25.

The Sapphires

B+ According to crusty Irish boozer

Dave—played with impeccable comic charm by Chris O’Dowd, Kristen Wiig’s cop boyfriend in Bridesmaids— country-western and soul music are both rooted in loss. The difference, Dave says, is that while country-western stars whine about it, soul singers fight desperately for redemption. That exuberant sense of resilience takes center stage in first-time filmmaker Wayne Blair’s massively entertaining tale about an Australian Aboriginal girl band that travels to Vietnam to entertain American troops in 1968. Loosely based on a true story (Blair’s mother was a member of the original group), The Sapphires butts up against serious issues, most prominently racial tension and the trauma of war. But between the spirited songs, big-hearted story line and hypersaturated cinematography, this is a film that unapologetically encourages finger-snapping rather than head-scratching—and bless its spangled heart for that. PG-13. REBECCA JACOBSON. Fox Tower.

Sci-Fi TV: Epic Space Battles Part 1

[ONE NIGHT ONLY, REVIVAL] A ’70s Star Wars knockoff, replete with aliens who both sing in lounges and fight thousand-year wars. Hollywood Theatre. 7:30 pm Thursday, May 23.

The Silence

B+ Like a suffocating heat, the

German crime thriller The Silence bears down on viewers with an insidious sense of dread. The story of two murdered girls—killed on the same day more than two decades apart, under eerily similar circumstances— unfolds deliberately and cruelly, suspense stoked not by secrets but by the sheer awfulness of what is known. We briefly meet Pia, an 11-year-old girl raped and killed in a field, and then the story springs forward 23 years, as another 11-year-old girl disappears. The film’s characters are studies in obsession: Pia’s mother (a wrenching Katrin Sass), who keeps her daughter’s room intact; an aging detective whose marriage fell apart due to his fixation on the original case; a young detective (a tightly wound, steely-eyed Sebastian Bloomberg) still grieving the loss of his wife to cancer. And then there’s the matter of the killer, a pokerfaced pedophile, and his passive partner-in-crime. Swiss-born director Baran bo Odar fills his debut feature with austerely beautiful shots and a hypnotically suggestive score marked by grating static and ominous string music. It’s a chilling tale, but the atmosphere is stifling. REBECCA JACOBSON. Living Room Theaters.

Silver Linings Playbook

A- David O. Russell emerges with

one of filmdom’s funniest stories of crippling manic depression. If Frank Capra had made an R-rated flick for the Prozac generation, it would look like this. R. AP KRYZA. Academy, Laurelhurst, Valley.

The Source Family

A The tag line on the poster for this

fascinating documentary is “God Has a Rock Band,” a reference to the fact that members of the Source Family, a quasi-religious cult from the late ‘60s through the ‘70s, supposedly recorded enough whacked-out psychedelia to fill 65 albums. The core of the film, though, is the relationship that Source acolytes had with their figurehead, Father Yod (known before he started experimenting with drugs and religion as James Baker). Through interviews with former lovers and followers of Yod, directors Maria Demopoulos and Jodi Wille create a strange and compelling portrait, moving from his days as a WWII hero to his open combination of what he saw as the best parts of numerous spiritual practices into an uber-doctrine. Like L. Ron Hubbard

Willamette Week MAY 22, 2013 wweek.com

(or Lancaster Dodd in Paul Thomas Anderson’s The Master), Yod made it up as he went along, including an embrace of polygamy that frayed the connection he had with several followers. The Source Family provides a clearer sense of how rootless so many children of the Vietnam era were and how, in their search for a father figure, they wound up under the sway of socalled gurus and swamis. That so many emerged from these experiences in one piece is the real miracle. ROBERT HAM. Hollywood Theatre.

Spring Breakers

B- The words “spring break” are repeated so often in Spring Breakers that they take on a mantralike quality in Harmony Korine’s most outwardly conventional outing to date. Still best known for writing Kids and directing Gummo, the backwater auteur teams up with a Disney-centric cast to turn up the decadence and sleaze to 11 in a candy-coated vision of the American Nightmare. Neon lights, blinged-out cribs and James Franco’s white-trash gangsta rapper Alien make this akin to an art-house installment of Girls Gone Wild crossed with Scarface—with all the surface allure and occasional vapidity that licentious description implies. That said, an utterly sincere rendition of Britney Spears’ “Everytime,” performed by Alien and set to a violent montage, is an early contender for sequence of the year, and nearly enough to forgive the film’s shortcomings. R. MICHAEL NORDINE. Laurelhurst.

Whitsell Auditorium. 7 pm ThursdaySaturday, May 23-25.

Upstream Color

B Pigs figure heavily in Upstream

Color, the sophomore feature from writer-director Shane Carruth. Though Carruth allows us one scene of a woman cuddling with a piglet, the experimental film also includes swine being bagged for an unpleasant fate, a weird surgery in which a human and hog are psychically joined and time-lapse footage of a drowned and decomposing pig. In addition to the swine, this disorienting and non-narrative film also includes a kidnapping, a romance and some squirmy, mindaltering grubs. Make sense? It probably shouldn’t. With its elliptical narrative, swooning visual aesthetic and hushed

dialogue and narration, the film feels like Terrence Malick tackling dystopian sci-fi. It centers, mostly, on a woman named Kris (Amy Seimetz) who is drugged, with those mind-altering grubs, by a character identified only as Thief. While forcing her to copy Walden by hand, Thief cons Kris out of her money and her sense of identity. When Kris wakes up, she becomes entwined with disgraced stockbroker Jeff (Carruth), who may or may not have had the same experience. Though ultimately secondary to the mesmerizing visuals and ambient score, the plot is surprisingly engaging, which prevents Upstream Color from becoming a formal obscurity too arch for its own good. You’re free to debate what it all means; I’m happy to lose myself in its messy mystery. REBECCA JACOBSON. Hollywood Theatre.

REVIEW BLUE SKY STUDIOS

MOVIES

Star Trek Into Darkness

B When J.J. Abrams took over the Star

Trek universe in 2009, he managed the impossible by taking decades of mythology and boiling it down to something accessible to everyone. Abrams’ Trek was a hyperkinetic, rowdy, ass-whomping blast of smartass banter. In his second outing in the captain’s chair, Abrams hammers down on the throttle right in the opening, when we find Captain Kirk (Chris Pine) and Dr. McCoy (Karl Urban) getting all Raiders of the Lost Ark on a distant planet, where they’re being chased by primitive, clay-painted natives, while Spock (Zachary Quinto) dives deep into a volcano to prevent an apocalyptic eruption. But things get dark with the arrival of Benedict Cumberbatch, who launches a one-man war of terror on Starfleet before taking refuge in an isolated section of the planet Klingon, with which Earth is on the precipice of war. Naturally, a pissed-off Kirk heads out for some righteous retribution. As with much of founder Gene Roddenberry’s work, there are echoes of current political sentiments spattered throughout Into Darkness, and the film slows down considerably when characters unleash cookie-cutter debates on duty and morality. Still, the cast elevates the proceedings. Pine brings the requisite swagger to the role made famous by William Shatner, while Quinto’s Spock manages multiple layers of humor, stoicism, intellect and badassery (yes, Spock gets to beat some ass). But it’s Cumberbatch who, unsurprisingly, steals the show. The actor, a superstar across the pond for his charismatic role in Sherlock, slips into the skin of a snake with ease, wrapping his tongue around each snarled threat with calculated menace. Into Darkness can’t match the verve of Abrams’ first outing, but it eclipses it in terms of character development and humor. Missteps aside, Abrams boldly goes where no Trekkie would dare by beaming in a wider audience to the cult of Trek—luring viewers in with the spectacle but keeping them salivating by pulling back preconceptions to reveal real humanity. PG-13. AP KRYZA. Eastport, Clackamas, Mill Plain, Cornelius, Lloyd Center, Moreland, Oak Grove, City Center, Division, Evergreen Parkway, Lloyd Mall, Movies on TV, Pioneer Place, Sherwood, Tigard, Sandy, St. Johns Twin.

The Thief of Bagdad

[THREE NIGHTS ONLY, REVIVAL] The classic silent film, starring Douglas Fairbanks as a robber who falls in love with a princess. Never mind that it was shot in 1924—this adventure epic has got carpets and horses that fly, as well as aquatic monsters. NW Film Center’s

SLUG IT OUT: Aziz Ansari voices a wise-cracking gastropod and Amanda Seyfried is a troubled teenager.

EPIC The words “from the makers of Ice Age and Robots” and “starring the voices of Beyoncé, Pitbull and Steven Tyler” don’t exactly inspire confidence in a summer animated release. In fact, based on the promotional materials for Blue Sky Studios’ Epic, one would be forgiven for thinking the film was making a play for the tired, pop-culture-addled throne of Shrek, or perhaps positioning itself as a modern-day FernGully full of heavy-handed environmental grandstanding. Those assumptions are, thankfully, very, very wrong. Epic is full of surprises—it’s a sprawling, otherworldly adventure combining the best elements of The Wizard of Oz and Lord of the Rings into a surprisingly poignant fairy tale. A troubled teen girl (Amanda Seyfried) is magically reduced to the size of an insect, only to discover the flora and fauna are all living in an advanced society, guarded by tiny soldiers called Leafmen and under attack by an evil king (Christoph Waltz) who seeks to create a world of decay. In terms of pure visual spectacle, Epic is a wonder. Under the watchful eye of production designer William Joyce—who also wrote the source book The Leaf Men and the Brave Good Bugs—the film takes a small patch of forest and brings it to vibrant life. A tree stump becomes the dark castle from which an evil army plots world domination. A swamp becomes the site of a parade, with dragonflies filling the sky and the flowers serving as spectators. Tiny soldiers dogfight through the skies atop humming birds and bats. Miraculously, none of this comes off as particularly cutesy. The film has all the trappings of a clichéd young-adult novel, from the heroine’s family strife to the tired “discover your destiny” narrative arc. But Epic neither waters down its story nor panders to the kids in a cloying way. It has the scale of a true fantasy picture interjected with just the right amount of humor (mostly from Chris O’Dowd and Aziz Ansari’s noble slugs) to satisfy. Most impressive, though, is the sense of wonder that permeates Epic. With its eye-popping art and living forest aesthetic, it’s only natural to compare the setting to James Cameron’s Avatar. Yet Epic has more life in one frame than Cameron mustered in his entire film. It isn’t perfect by any means, but Epic nonetheless nails a balance of heart and popcorn fun. And that it doesn’t resort to a bunch of fart jokes or a sing-along between Beyoncé, Pitbull and the dude from Aerosmith truly sets it apart. AP KRYZA. Seeing the forest for the trees full of tiny soldiers.

B SEE IT: Epic is rated PG. It opens Friday at Eastport, Clackamas, Lloyd Center, Lloyd Mall, Pioneer Place, Bridgeport, Division, Tigard.

MOVIES

MAY 24–30

BREWVIEWS TOMÃ¡S DITTBURN

07:00, 07:30, 09:40 THE GREAT GATSBY 3D FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 01:45, 04:00, 07:45 THE ICEMAN Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 11:50, 02:20, 05:00, 07:25, 10:05 MIDNIGHT’S CHILDREN Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 01:00, 04:00 MUD FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:30, 02:10, 04:35, 07:25, 09:30 OBLIVION Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 01:30, 04:20, 07:10, 09:45 42 Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 01:15, 04:15, 07:05, 09:50 THE PLACE BEYOND THE PINES Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 04:10, 07:00 RENOIR Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 11:40, 09:45 THE SAPPHIRES Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 11:30, 02:20, 05:15, 07:15, 09:55

NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium

SAY SÍ: During the 1988 election in Chile that led to the ouster of Augusto Pinochet, TV advertising played as major a role in the political process as traditional campaigning: For 27 days, each side had 15 minutes each night to state its case. No puts this into sharp historical perspective via Rene, a quietly intense ad exec (Gael García Bernal) who brought a soda-commercial flair to the anti-Pinochet TV spots. Director Pablo Larrain amplifies the tense yet hopeful mood by shooting the movie on eraappropriate video cameras, meshing new footage with original ads and news footage of protests and police actions. ROBERT HAM. Showing at: Academy. Best paired with: Boneyard Diablo Rojo. Also showing: High Noon (Laurelhurst), The Source Family (Hollywood). Roseway Theatre

7229 NE Sandy Blvd., 503-282-2898 THE GREAT GATSBY FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 01:00, 04:30, 08:00

Lloyd Center 10 and IMAX

1510 NE Multnomah St., 800-326-3264 STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS: AN IMAX 3D EXPERIENCE Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:30, 03:40, 07:00, 10:15 FAST & FURIOUS 6 Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:40, 03:55, 07:10, 10:20 THE HANGOVER PART III FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:40, 02:15, 03:25, 04:50, 06:35, 07:30, 09:40, 10:10 EPIC Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 11:35, 07:45 EPIC 3D Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 02:25, 05:05, 10:25 STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:30, 02:40, 03:10, 06:00, 06:30, 09:15 STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS 3D FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:00, 01:00, 04:10, 07:35, 10:50 THE GREAT GATSBY Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:10, 03:45, 07:05, 10:30 IRON MAN 3 Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 12:35, 03:50, 07:20, 10:35 IRON MAN 3 3D Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 09:45 PAIN & GAIN Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:20

Regal Lloyd Mall 8

2320 Lloyd Center Mall, 800-326-3264 FAST & FURIOUS 6 FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:20, 03:20, 06:20, 09:20 EPIC 3D Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:30, 05:55 EPIC Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 03:15, 08:50 THE HANGOVER PART III Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 12:25, 03:30, 06:30, 08:55 STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 03:00, 09:00 STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS 3D Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 12:00, 06:00 THE GREAT GATSBY 3D Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 09:15 THE GREAT GATSBY Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:55, 02:55, 06:10 IRON MAN 3 3D Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 03:05 IRON MAN 3 Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-

Tue-Wed 12:05, 06:05, 09:05 OBLIVION Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 03:10, 09:10 42 Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 12:10, 06:15 THE CROODS Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 12:15, 03:25, 06:25, 08:45

Cinema 21

616 NW 21st Ave., 503-223-4515 FRANCES HA Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 04:45, 07:00, 09:10

Clinton Street Theater

2522 SE Clinton St., 503-238-8899 EXPERIMENTAL FILM FESTIVAL PORTLAND 2013 Fri-Sun 03:00, 05:00 REEL RELICS: WHO IS POLYSTYRENE Fri-Sat 09:30 WHAT MAISIE KNEW Sat 07:00 THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW Sat 12:00 100 BLOODY ACRES Mon 07:00 GIRL RISING Tue 07:30 ROCKSHOW Wed 07:00

Laurelhurst Theater & Pub

2735 E Burnside St., 503-232-5511 HIGH NOON Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 07:00 UPSTREAM COLOR FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 09:15 OZ THE GREAT AND POWERFUL Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 06:45 TRANCE Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 09:30 SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 07:15 SPRING BREAKERS Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 09:45 FROM UP ON POPPY HILL Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 09:00 THE COMPANY YOU KEEP Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 06:30

Moreland Theatre

6712 SE Milwaukie Ave., 503-236-5257 STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 05:30, 08:15

St. Johns Twin Cinemas and Pub

8704 N Lombard St., 503-286-1768 STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 04:00, 06:45, 09:30 THE HANGOVER PART III FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 05:00, 07:30, 09:55

CineMagic Theatre

2021 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 503-231-7919 THE HANGOVER PART III Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 05:00, 07:30, 09:55

Kennedy School Theater

5736 NE 33rd Ave., 503-249-7474-4 OZ THE GREAT AND POWERFUL Fri-Sat-SunMon 02:15 IDENTITY THIEF Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 02:30, 07:35 G.I. JOE: RETALIATION Fri-Sat-SunMon-Wed 09:50 FROM UP ON POPPY HILL Fri-SatSun-Mon-Wed 05:30

Hollywood Theatre

4122 NE Sandy Blvd., 503-281-4215 THE SOURCE FAMILY FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 07:15 MUD Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 06:45, 09:10 GREETINGS FROM TIM BUCKLEY Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 09:15 STUDENT SUSTAINABILITY FILM FESTIVAL Fri 07:00 ROAD HOUSE IN HECKLEVISION Sat 07:30 COMPOUND FRACTURE Sun 06:30 I DON’T FEEL AT HOME IN THIS WORLD ANYMORE Mon 07:30 LADY TERMINATOR Tue 07:30 GUILTY ’TIL PROVEN INNOCENT Wed 07:30

Regal Fox Tower Stadium 10

846 SW Park Ave., 800-326-3264 LOVE IS ALL YOU NEED Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:45, 01:20, 04:45, 07:20, 09:50 THE GREAT GATSBY Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 12:30, 02:15, 04:45,

NOW PLAYING!

PORTLAND

Regal Fox Tower Stadium 10 (800) FANDANGO #327

1219 SW Park Ave., 503-221-1156 THE THIEF OF BAGHDAD Fri-Sat 07:00

Regal Pioneer Place Stadium 6

340 SW Morrison St., 800-326-3264 EPIC 3D Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 01:00, 07:00 EPIC Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 03:40, 09:40 FAST & FURIOUS 6 FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:50, 12:40, 04:00, 06:30, 07:20, 09:50, 10:35 STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS 3D Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 12:50, 04:15, 07:30, 10:40 STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 12:00, 03:30, 06:45, 10:00 IRON MAN 3 Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:20, 03:50, 07:10 IRON MAN 3 3D Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 10:20 PAIN & GAIN Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 03:00

St. Johns Theater

8203 N Ivanhoe St., 503-249-7474-6 G.I. JOE: RETALIATION FriSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 01:00, 09:10 OZ THE GREAT AND POWERFUL Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 06:00

Academy Theater

7818 SE Stark St., 503-252-0500 TRANCE Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 05:00, 09:50 THE COMPANY YOU KEEP Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 01:30, 06:45 OZ THE GREAT AND POWERFUL Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 01:40, 04:20, 07:00 NO Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 09:40 IDENTITY THIEF Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 09:20 LIFE OF PI Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 04:05 SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 02:30, 07:15

Books Books, lectures and more!

Page 38

Living Room Theaters

341 SW 10th Ave., 971-222-2010 CAESAR MUST DIE FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:55, 03:00, 04:55, 07:15, 09:10 IN THE HOUSE Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 12:10, 02:30, 07:00, 09:30 THE RELUCTANT REVOLUTIONARY Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:15, 01:40, 04:20, 06:40, 09:00 THE HANGOVER PART III Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:50, 12:25, 02:05, 02:45, 03:15, 04:25, 05:05, 06:50, 07:30, 08:15, 09:20 THE SILENCE Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 12:20, 04:45, 09:40 SUBJECT TO CHANGE. CALL THEATERS OR VISIT WWEEK.COM/MOVIETIMES FOR THE MOST UP-TODATE INFORMATION FRIDAY-THURSDAY, MAY 24-30, UNLESS OTHERWISE INDICATED

Willamette Week MAY 22, 2013 wweek.com

For advertising information, Call Corin Kuppler 503-445-2757 Turner Jack Linch

Jonah Reed Tonnesen

1-19-2013

10-07-2012

Emerson Gregory Paine

Neiva Elena Thoms

Colton Woodrow

Wilma Bee

Sydney 7-13-2012

12-03-2012

12-05-12

12-28-2012

Lyden Drake Herrera 9-30-2012

9-8-2012

Resale Baby/Kids Boutique, Baby Carriers, Wooden Toys, Maternity, and More!

Samuel Geiger Henry

Gracen June Quigley

1-8-2013

12-25-2012

Clean out your kids’ room & get cash on the spot for all their gently used stuff: clothing, toys, furniture & equipment. No appointment necessary. And remember we’ve got the lowest prices on everything you need for your kids. Isn’t it time for a change?

11505 NE 4th Plain Rd 360-253-7742

2751 NE Broadway, Portland

OnceUponAChildVancouverWA.com

CLASSIFIEDS DIRECTORY 44 BULLETIN BOARD

45 SERVICES

WELLNESS

MOTOR

MUSICIANS’ MARKET

TO PLACE AN AD CONTACT:

SERVICE DIRECTORY

STUFF

ASHLEE HORTON

503-445-3647 • ahorton@wweek.com

REMODELING & REPAIR SE Tricks of the Trades 503.522.6425 www.remodelingpdx.com

HOME COMPUTER REPAIR

TREE SERVICE NE Steve Greenberg Tree Service 1925 NE 61st Ave. Portland, Oregon 97213 503-774-4103

AUDIO Metro Computerworks N

2256 N Albina Ave #181 503-289-1986 metrocomputerworks.com

HOME IMPROVEMENT SW Jill Of All Trades 6905 SW 35th Ave. Portland, Oregon 97219 503-244-0753 44

Inner Sound

1416 SE Morrison Street Portland, Oregon 97214 503-238-1955 www.inner-sound.com

CORIN KUPPLER

AUTO COLLISION REPAIR NE Atomic Auto 2510 NE Sandy Blvd Portland, Or 97232 503-969-3134 www.atomicauto.biz

MOVING HAULING N LJ Hauling

503-839-7222 3642 N. Farragut Portland, Or 97217 moneymone1@gmail.com

Willamette Week Classiﬁeds MAY 22, 2013 wweek.com

G E T A W A Y S P. 4 7

46 MATCHMAKER

46 JONESIN’

REAL ESTATE

PETS

503-445-2757 • ckuppler@wweek.com

BULLETIN BOARD

Meet Hollywood Producers, Managers, Agents, Lit Agents & Editors

EVENTS

WILLAMETTE WEEK’S GATHERING PLACE NON-PROFIT DISCOUNTS AVAILABLE.

ADOPTION *ADOPTION:*

Active, Energetic, Professional Couple yearns for 1st baby. Sports, Playful pup, Beaches await! Joyce *1-800-243-1658* Expenses paid

Willamette Writers, Aug 2-4 www.willamettewriters.com/wwc/3/ 503-305-6729.

Presents

Flute Concert by Jay Gandhi

(Disciple of Pt. Hari Prasad Chaurasia) accompanied by

Sarabjit (Sunny) Matharu on Tabla

UNPLANNED PREGNANCY? THINKING OF ADOPTION? Open or closed adoption. YOU choose the family. LIVING EXPENSES PAID. Abby’s One True Gift Adoptions. Call 24/7. 866-413-6293. (AAN CAN)

ANNOUNCEMENTS QUALITY CRAFT SHOW Yachats On the Coast

CELL PHONE REPAIR N Revived Cellular & Technology 7816 N. Interstate Ave. Portland, Oregon 97217 503-286-1527 www.revivedcellular.com

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY JOBS

MAY 22, 2013

Inside Yachats Commons This Sat-Sun. 10AM 70 Booths Food, Demos, Face Painting, Chair Massage, Fun FREE ADMISSION 541-547-4664 Expect the Exceptional!

LESSONS CLASSICAL PIANO/ KEYBOARD

Theory Performance. All levels. Portland 503-227-6557.

MISCELLANEOUS GOD’S WISDOM

First Baptist Church 909 SW 11th Avenue Portland, OR 97205

Saturday, June 1st, 2013, 7:30pm

Tickets are $20 in advance and available through www.kalakendra.org or may be purchased at the door for $25. Students $15. tickets for children (3-12) in advance is $10 & 12.50 at the door

www.kalakendra.org

These are the Proverbs of Solomon, the Son of David, King of Israel: To know WISDOM and instruction; to perceive the words of understanding; to receive the instruction of WISDOM, Justice, judgment, and equity; to give subtly to the Simple; to the young man knowledge and discretion. A wise man will hear [them] and will increase in Learning; And a man of understanding shall attain unto wise counsels [through them]; to understand a Proverb, and the [correct] interpretation thereof; to understand the words of the wise - and their dark sayings! (Proverbs 1: 1-6) chapel@gorge.net

TO PLACE AN AD CONTACT:

ASHLEE HORTON

503-445-3647 • ahorton@wweek.com

CORIN KUPPLER

Week of May 23

503-445-2757 • ckuppler@wweek.com

BULLETIN BOARD CONTINUED SUPPORT GROUPS ALANON Sunday Rainbow

ARIES (March 21-April 19): “I’m still learning,” said Michelangelo when he was 87 years old. For now, he’s your patron saint. With his unflagging curiosity as your inspiration, maybe your hunger for new teachings will bloom. You will register the fact that you don’t already know everything there is to know . . . you have not yet acquired all the skills you were born to master . . . you’re still in the early stages of exploring whole swaths of experience that will be important to you as you become the person you want to be. Even if you’re not enrolled in a formal school, it’s time to take your education to the next level. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Nobel Prize-winning physicist Richard Feynman admitted that physicists can’t really define “energy,” let alone understand it. “We have no knowledge of what energy is,” he said. “We do not have a picture that energy comes in little blobs of a definite amount.” While it’s unlikely that in the coming weeks you Tauruses will advance the scientific understanding of energy, you will almost certainly boost your natural grasp of what energy feels like both inside and outside of your body. You will develop a more intuitive knack for how it ebbs and flows. You will discover useful tips about how to make it work for you rather than against you. You’re already a pretty smart animal, but soon you’ll get even smarter. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Giant Sequoias are the biggest trees on the planet. Many are more than 300 feet tall and 30 feet wide. Their longevity is legendary, too. They can live for 2,000 years. And yet their seeds are tiny. If you had a bag of 91,000 seeds, it would weigh one pound. I suspect there’s currently a resemblance between you and the Giant Sequoia, Gemini. You’re close to acquiring a small kernel that has the potential to grow into a strong and enduring creation. Do you know what I’m talking about? Identify it. Start nurturing it. CANCER (June 21-July 22): Don’t take yourself too seriously. The more willing you are to make fun of your problems, the greater the likelihood is that you will actually solve them. If you’re blithe and breezy and buoyant, you will be less of a magnet for suffering. To this end, say the following affirmations out loud. 1. “I’m willing to make the mistakes if someone else is willing to learn from them.” 2. “I’m sorry, but I’m not apologizing any more.” 3. “Suffering makes you deep. Travel makes you broad. I’d rather travel.” 4. “My commitment is to truth, not consistency.” 5. “The hell with enlightenment, I want to have a tantrum.” 6. “I stopped fighting my inner demons. We’re on the same side now.” LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Would you buy a stuffed bunny or a baby blanket that was handcrafted by a prisoner on death row? Would you go to a cafe and eat a sandwich that was made by an employee who was screaming angrily at another employee while he made your food? Would you wear a shirt that was sewn by a ten-year-old Bangladeshi girl who works 12 hours every day with a machine that could cut off her fingers if she makes one wrong move? Questions like these will be good for you to ask yourself, Leo. It’s important for you to evaluate the origins of all the things you welcome into your life -- and to make sure they are in alignment with your highest values and supportive of your well-being. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Having good posture tends to make you look alert and vigorous. More than that, it lowers stress levels in your tissues and facilitates the circulation of your bodily fluids. You can breathe better, too. In the coming weeks, I urge you to give yourself this blessing: the gift of good posture. I encourage you to bestow a host of other favors, too. Specialize in treating yourself with extra sweetness and compassion. Explore different ways to get excited, awaken your sense of wonder, and be in love with your life. If anyone calls you a self-involved narcissist, tell them you’re just doing what your astrologer prescribed. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): The German word Fernweh can be translated as “wanderlust.” Its literal meaning is “farsickness,” or “an ache for the distance.” Another

German word, Wandertrieb, may be rendered as “migratory instinct” or “passion to travel.” I suspect urges like these may be welling up in you right now. You could use a break from your familiar pleasures and the comforts you’ve been taking for granted. Moreover, you would attract an unexpected healing into your life by rambling off into the unknown. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): We call it “longing,” says poet Robert Haas, “because desire is full of endless distances.” In other words, you and the object of your yearning may be worlds apart even though you are right next to each other. For that matter, there may be a vast expanse between you and a person you consider an intimate ally; your secret life and his or her secret life might be mysteries to each other. That’s the bad news, Scorpio. The good news is that you’re in a phase when you have extraordinary power to shrink the distances. Get closer! Call on your ingenuity and courage to do so.

WELLNESS COUNSELING

5:15 PM meeting. G/L/B/T/Q and friends. Downtown Unitarian Universalist Church on 12th above Taylor. 503-309-2739.

Got Meth Problems? Need Help?

Oregon CMA 24 hour Hot-line Number: 503-895-1311. We are here to help you! Information, support, safe & confidential!

SERVICES

Counseling Serving Individuals Families  Couples Low cost. No one turned away for inability to pay.

503.226.3021 x220

2023 NW Hoyt St • Portland

BUILDING/REMODELING

Enjoy the Benefits of Massage

Massage openings in the Mt. Tabor area. Call Jerry for info. 503-757-7295. LMT6111.

TARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Are you ready to go deeper, Sagittarius? In fact, would you be willing to go deeper and deeper and deeper? I foresee the possibility that you might benefit from diving in over your head. I suspect that the fear you feel as you dare to descend will be an acceptable trade-off for the educational thrills you will experience once you’re way down below. The darkness you encounter will be fertile, not evil. It will energize you, not deplete you. And if you’re worried that such a foray might feel claustrophobic, hear my prediction: In the long run it will enhance your freedom. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): In the course of his 91 years on the planet, artist Pablo Picasso lived in many different houses, some of them rentals. When inspired by the sudden eruption of creative urges, he had no inhibitions about drawing and doodling on the white walls of those temporary dwellings. On one occasion, his landlord got upset. He ordered Picasso to pay him a penalty fee so that he could have the sketches painted over. Given the fact that Picasso ultimately became the best-selling artist of all time, that landlord may have wished he’d left the squiggles intact. In every way you can imagine, Capricorn, don’t be like that landlord in the coming week. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): “I was often in love with something or someone,” wrote Polish poet Czesław Miłosz. “I would fall in love with a monkey made of rags. With a plywood squirrel. With a botanical atlas. With an oriole. With a ferret. With the forest one sees to the right when riding in a cart. With human beings whose names still move me.” Your task, Aquarius, is to experiment with his approach to love. Make it a fun game: See how often you can feel adoration for unexpected characters and creatures. Be infatuated with curious objects . . . with snarky Internet memes . . . with fleeting phenomena like storms and swirling flocks of birds and candy spilled on the floor. Your mission is to supercharge your lust for life.

REL A X!

INDULGE YOURSELF in an - AWESOME FULL BODY MASSAGE

call

lmt#6250

CLEANING

1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700

Totally Relaxing Massage

Featuring Swedish, deep tissue and sports techniques by a male therapist. Conveniently located, affordable, and preferring male clientele at this time. #5968 By appointment Tim 503.575.0356

Bernhard’s

Residential, Commercial and Rentals. Complete yard care, 20 years. 503-515-9803. Licensed and Insured.

REMODELING

MEN’S HEALTH Counseling Individuals, Couples and Groups Stephen Shostek, CET

MANSCAPING

Bodyhair grooming M4M. Discrete quality service. 503-841-0385 by appointment.

Relationships, Life Transitions, Personal Growth

PHYSICAL FITNESS

Affordable Rates • No-cost Initial Consult www.stephenshostek.com

BILL PEC

503-963-8600

Personal Trainer & Independent Contractor

• Strength Training • Body Shaping • Nutrition Counseling AT THE GYM, OR IN YOUR HOME

503-252-6035 www.billpecfitness.com

ALTERNATIVE MEDICINE

LOOK FOR ME ON FACEBOOK

OMMP Resource Center Providing Safe Access to Medicine

Write your ultimate personal ad. Address it to your current partner if you’re already paired. Share it at Freewillastrology.com.

freewillastrology.com

Weight Mastery Stress Relief Spiritual Insight Smoking Cessation Procrastination Self Esteem Past Life

LAWN SERVICES

Homework

The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at

Charles

503-740-5120

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Scientists in Brazil discovered a huge new body of water 13,000 feet beneath the Amazon River. It’s completely underground. Named the Hamza River, it moves quite slowly, and is technically more of an aquifer than a river. It’s almost as long as the Amazon, and much wider. In accordance with the astrological omens, Pisces, I’m making the Hamza River your symbol of the week. Use it to inspire you as you uncover hidden resources. Meditate on the possibility that you have within you a secret reservoir of vitality that lies beneath your wellknown sources. See if you can tap into deep feelings that are so deep you’ve been barely conscious of them.

check out Rob Brezsny’s Expanded Weekly Audio Horoscopes & Daily Text Message Horoscopes

MASSAGE (LICENSED)

TREE SERVICES Steve Greenberg Tree Service

Pruning and removals, stump grinding. 24-hour emergency service. Licensed/ Insured. CCB#67024. Free estimates. 503-284-2077

Valid MMJ Card Holders Only No Membership Dues or Door Fees

“Simply the Best Meds” www.rosecitywellnesscenter.com

Willamette Week Classiﬁeds MAY 22, 2013 wweek.com

ASHLEE HORTON

503-445-3647 • ahorton@wweek.com

CORIN KUPPLER

CHATLINES FREE LIVE CHAT on LiveMatch!

(Free Happy hour 3-9pm ) 971-230-5812, 360-597-2577 or WEB Phone on LiveMatch.com STRAIGHT/GAY/BI/???

MORE ADS ONLINE @ WWEEK.COM

503-445-2757 • ckuppler@wweek.com

JONESIN’ by Matt Jones “That’s the Thinga”–gotta it?

Across 1 Ozone layer destroyers 5 Rear admiral’s rear 8 “Family Guy” town 14 Tissue additive 15 “Excusez-___!” 16 Dethrone 17 Xbalanque, for instance? 19 Kind of sale or tax 20 Fragrant bouquet 21 Catty remark? 23 West end? 24 “Are we having fun ___?” 25 The Dalai Lama? 30 Outscore 32 Hall-of-Fame QB Dawson 33 “Dexter” network, for short 34 Port type 35 In the style of 36 Shoe brand ___ McAn 37 Talks that may ask “What’s it like having a palace in Tatooine”? 42 Neutral hue

43 President pro ___ 44 Reznor band, for short 45 Season in Bordeaux 46 “Whatevs” grunt 47 “Relax!” 50 Creature that ﬁre-roasts its own pies? 53 “Was ___ das?” 55 “Like that’ll ever happen!” 56 Fair ___ laws 57 “Aﬄiction” star Nick 59 1975 “Thrilla” city 62 End of a deep sleep? 64 “___ always money in the banana stand!” (George Bluth) 65 “Bravo!” relative 66 Yacht spot 67 Bank patrons 68 6-pt. scores 69 A portion Down 1 Beauty bar brand

©2013Jonesin’ Crosswords (editor@jonesincrosswords.com) For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle #JONZ624.

Flesh Exotic Wear

Featuring Exotic Dancer Shoes, Dancewear, Ravewear & More

330 SW 3rd located downtown 503-227-1527 open 6pm to 3am daily 20% discount on all merchandise with this ad 46

Willamette Week Classiﬁeds MAY 22, 2013 wweek.com

2 Got redder 3 Cliﬀtop howler 4 Fashion line? 5 “I love,” to Caesar 6 Easy Listening or Classic Rock 7 They come in and out 8 “Huh?” from Jose 9 Sight ___ 10 “Ad ___ per Aspera” (Kansas motto) 11 They, sometimes 12 Granola piece 13 Bell competitor, back in the day 18 Peace Nobelist from Poland 22 2008 Pixar robot 26 Like those dressed as nuns 27 Instructional video title start 28 Self-help site 29 CD- ___ 31 Clothing company founded in 1992 35 Cash source 36 Alec’s sitcom co-star 37 Versatile army vehicle 38 Dramatic introduction? 39 USSR head known for his bushy eyebrows 40 ‘60s jacket style 41 Boys’ Choir home 46 Composer Gustav 47 Eternal 48 “The Sopranos” consigliere 49 Admiration 51 Name on African maps (at least up to 1997) 52 Neckwear for a Mystery Machine passenger 54 ___ Haute, Ind. 58 “Clumsy me!” 59 Everest, K2, et al. 60 “A clue!” 61 Beast of burden 63 My, in Marseilles

last week’s answers

TO PLACE AN AD CONTACT:

Portland’s Indie Rock Strip Club

HOTTEST GIRLS IN CHINATOWN 217 NW 4th Ave • (503) 224-8472 www.magicgardenportland.com

TO PLACE AN AD CONTACT:

MUSICIANS MARKET FOR FREE ADS in 'Musicians Wanted,' 'Musicians Available' & 'Instruments for Sale' go to portland.backpage.com and submit ads online. Ads taken over the phone in these categories cost $5.

INSTRUMENTS FOR SALE TRADEUPMUSIC.COM

Buying, selling, instruments of every shape and size. Open 11am-7pm every day. 4701 SE Division & 1834 NE Alberta.

MUSIC LESSONS

ASHLEE HORTON

503-445-3647 • ahorton@wweek.com

is NOW Just $12 for the Renewal Server Class. (Seasoned Pro’s) and STILL only $15 for the Initial Server Class. (First Timers) Take Your Class @ www.happyhourtraining.com where we are always ‘Bartender Tested & OLCC Approved!’ 541-447-6384.

ADMINISTRATIVE/OFFICE

Learn Piano All styles, levels

The successful candidate will have knowledge and understanding of basic accounting principles, experience with computerized accounting software programs, ability to self manage and multi-task, strong communication skills and a working knowledge of Microsoft Office including: Excel, Word and Outlook. Candidates will be required to pass a background check to be considered.

With 2 time Grammy winner Peter Boe. 503-274-8727.

STUFF FURNITURE

BEDTIME

TWINS

MATTRESS

COMPANY

Willamette Week is now hiring a part-time Accounting Clerk. This position will be responsible for accurately performing A/P, A/R, Credit and Administrative tasks. Schedule will be 12-5pm, Monday-Friday, with additional hours as needed.

FULL $ 89

QUEEN

(503)

760-1598

109

7353 SE 92nd Ave Mon-Fri 9-5, Sat 10-2

Custom Sizes » Made To Order Financing Available

MOTOR

To apply, email cover letter, resume, and salary requirements to: resumes@wweek.com with “Accounting Clerk” in the subject line. No phone calls, please.

BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES Discover the “Success and Moneymaking Secrets” THEY don’t want you to know about. To get your FREE “Success and Money Making Secrets” CD, please call 1 (800) 790-5752. (AAN CAN)

mention you saw this ad in WW and receive 10% off for your 1st visit!

AUTOS WANTED CASH FOR CARS: Any Car/Truck. Running or Not! Top Dollar Paid. We Come To You! Call For Instant Offer: 1-888-420-3808 www.cash4car.com (AAN CAN)

MOTORCYCLES $Motorcycles Wanted$

Wrecked, running , or not. R1, gsxr, busa, ninja, etc. All considerd no title required. Jeff 503-501 0711.

JOBS CAREER TRAINING AIRLINE CAREERS

Become an Aviation Maintenance Tech. FAA approved training. Financial aid if qualified - Housing available. Job placement assistance. CALL Aviation Institute of Maintenance 877-492-3059 (AAN CAN)

ATTEND COLLEGE ONLINE

from home. *Medical, *Business, *Criminal Justice, *Hospitality. Job placement assistance. Computer available. Financial Aid if qualified. SCHEV authorized. Call 800-481-9472 www.CenturaOnline.com (AAN CAN)

Bids Start as Low as $1 ONLINE AUCTION FOREST HEIGHTS MOVING SALE

Featuring Contemporary and Designer Furniture OPEN HOUSE VIEWING: Saturday, May 25, 10am - 1pm & Sunday, May 26, 11am-2pm (Visit Website for address)

AUCTION ENDS: THURSDAY, MAY 30

www.cleanhouseauction.com McMenamins Edgefield Is hiring line cooks, pizza cooks, prep cooks and catering cooks for the Power Station Pub and Black Rabbit Restaurant. Prev high vol rest kitchen exp a MUST. Must have an open & flex sched; days, eves, wknds and holidays. Please apply online 24/7 at www.mcmenamins.com or pick up a paper app at any McMenamins. Mail to 2126 SW Halsey, Troutdale, OR 97060 or fax: 503-667-3612. Call 503-952-0598 for info on other ways to apply. Please no calls or emails. E.O.E. Paid In Advanced! MAKE up to $1000 A WEEK mailing brochures from home! Helping Home Workers since 2001! Genuine Opportunity! No Experience required. Start Immediately! www.mailing-station.com (AAN CAN)

Stars Cabaret in TUALATIN is now accepting applications for Servers, Bartenders, Hostess, Valet. Part and Full-time positions available. Experience preferred but not required. Earn top pay + tips in a fast-paced and positive environment.

GENERAL “Atomic Auto New School Technology, Old School Service” www.atomicauto.biz

TO PLACE AN AD ON BACK COVER CONTINUED call 503-445-3647 or 503-445-2757

Stars Cabaret in TUALATINHiring (Tualatin-TigardLake Oswego)

GENERAL

www.ExtrasOnly.com 503.227.1098

EMPLOYMENT OPPORTUNITIES EARN $500 A DAY. Airbrush & Media Makeup Artists For: Ads - TV - Film Fashion Train & Build Portfolio in 1 week Lower Tuition for 2013. AwardMakeupSchool.com (AAN CAN) $$$HELP WANTED$$$ Extra Income! Assembling CD cases from Home! No Experience Necessary! Call our Live Operators Now! 1-800-405-7619 EXT 2450 http://www.easywork-greatpay.com (AAN CAN)

Stars Cabaret is also conducting ENTERTAINERS auditions and schedule additions Mon-Sun 11am-10pm. ENTERTAINERS: Training provided to those new to the business. Located @ 17937 SW McEwan Rd. in Tualatin...across from “24 Hours Fitness” Please apply at location.

WWEEK DOTCOM

McMenamins Cornelius Pass Roadhouse Is now hiring Line Cooks, Dishwashers, Catering Servers, Hosts, Bussers, Food Runners, and Pub Servers! Qual apps must have; A willingness to learn and enjoy working in a busy cust service-oriented enviro, an open & flex sched including, days, eves, wknds, hldys and an open summertime sched. We have seas and long term opps. Looking for a career in the hospitality industry? We offer opps for growth and great benefits. Come to the Cornelius Pass Roadhouse, on Tuesday, May 28 to fill out an app between the hours of 11am and 2pm! Mgrs will be on hand to talk to interested apps. We are located at 4045 NW Cornelius Pass Road, Hillsboro, OR 97124. Apply online 24/7 at www.mcmenamins. com or kick it old school and pick up a paper app at any McMenamin loc. Mail your app; Attn: HR, 430 N. Killingsworth, Portland OR, 97217, or fax: 503-221-8749. E.O.E.

503-445-2757 • ckuppler@wweek.com

BACK COVER CONTINUED...

OLCC’S NEWEST ONLINE SERVER PERMIT CLASS

Accounting Clerk

GUITAR LESSONS Personalized instruction for over 15yrs. Adults & children. Beginner through advanced. www.danielnoland.com 503-546-3137

CORIN KUPPLER

REAL ESTATE

ONLINE BIDDING ONLY! More Information: 503-620-9000

PETS

REAL ESTATE 20 ACRES FREE

Buy 40-Get 60 acres. $0-Down, $198/ month. Money back gaurentee. NO CREDIT CHECKS. Beautiful views. Roads/surveyed. Near El Paso, Texas. 1-800-843-7537 www.SunsetRanches.com (AAN CAN)

GETAWAYS MOUNT ADAMS

Mt Adams Lodge

at the Flying L Ranch 4 cabins & 12 rooms on 80 acres 90 miles NE of Portland Dog Friendly Groups & individual travelers welcome!

www.mt-adams.com 509-364-3488

RENTALS ROOMMATE SERVICES ALL AREAS - ROOMMATES.COM. Browse hundreds of online listings with photos and maps. Find your roommate with a click of the mouse! Visit: www.Roommates.com. (AAN CAN)

ww presents

I M A D E T HIS

The Great Odysseus

I am Odysseus. I am brave, loyal and lordly. In my 8 years I have seen and done much – had incredible battles with Lotus Eaters, Cyclops and Sirens. I have feasted on fresh steaks and bountiful bowls of kibble! There is one thing only on this planet that I cannot abide and that is the evil of WINDSHIELD WIPERS!! Cursed be the day the awful machine was invented! By nature I am calm, affectionate and friendly. I get a long with everyone, and anticipate the day I will be snuggled deep in my person’s arms lulled to sleep by the sound of rain. Unless we are in the car… and the windshield wipers are on… because then no amount of snuggles will ease my anger! I cannot sleep until the merciless things are ceased! Just when I think I have conquered, they resurrect! Click the link below to see me in action battling the wicked blades! One of my most epic battles can be seen here. Caution: Graphic war like content... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5YDCebPIF0I&feature=youtu.be I promise to make you a perfect companion. I do well with other animals and am the perfect size to sit by your side where ever you adventures lead us. I will try to always keep you safe from wipers. Do I sound like the hero you are looking for? I am fixed, vaccinated and microchipped. My adoption fee is $100.

Please check back next week.

503-542-3432 • 510 NE MLK Blvd • pixieproject.org Willamette Week Classiﬁeds MAY 22, 2013 wweek.com

BACK COVER

TO ADVERTISE ON WILLAMETTE WEEK’S BACK COVER CALL 445-1170

Bankruptcy Attorney

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North West

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Oregon Medical Marijuana Patient Resource Center

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