39 31 willamette week, june 5, 2013 by Willamette Week Newspaper

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INBOX FLUORIDE’S GREAT DIVIDE

In your recent interview with anti-fluoride activist Kim Kaminski [“Hotseat,” WW, May 29, 2013], she mentioned Carl Sagan as her inspiration to become an environmentalist. What she fails to mention is throughout his career, Sagan was a tireless champion of intellectual honesty and strong, empirical science. Among other things, he is remembered for uttering the wise words, “Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence.” When asked by WW to explain why after decades of fluoridation throughout the United States there is no evidence of any long-term harm, she completely sidestepped the question. She offered no extraordinary evidence to support her extraordinary claims that various peerreviewed journals, as well as government bodies like the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and respected organizations such as the American Dental Association and the American Medical Association are all wrong when it comes to fluoridation. When given a golden opportunity by WW to further explain her views using compelling evidence, she did not. Instead, she elected to respond using fear, doubt and faulty analogy. While Kaminski’s desire to fight for a healthy and sustainable environment is an admirable one, her astounding ignorance of science and reason does an incredible disservice to the spirit of Sagan and everything he stood for. Mark Curnell Southeast Portland

Well done, Kim! Your leadership was crucial. It was a classic case of a big-money lobby group (led by high-powered political PR man Mark Wiener) being defeated by the real people of Portland. We think for ourselves. Once one learns the dangers [of fluoride], there’s no way to unlearn that. Thank you to all the amazing volunteers who defeated Goliath by a landslide. —“Mark Colman” “The other side was well-funded and authoritative. Why do you think they failed?” Simple. [The pro-fluoride side] failed because their entire campaign was fraudulent. There is no dental health crisis. And every time a lie was revealed, they would dream up yet another lie. It’s a lot easier to win when you have truth on your side. Why did WW never recognize this? Why was this interview not done before the vote? —“Kenric L. Ashe”

DEVIL’S FOOL CAKE

As a pagan, I am insulted that a reporter didn’t do enough research into what we call our religious symbol [“The Cake Wars,” WW, May 29, 2013]. It’s called a pentacle, not a pentagram. A pentagram is an upside-down pentacle and is a symbol of Satan worship. Maybe next time they can refer to a cross and a “t”. —“disqus” God forbid you rotate the round cake. —“Brian Riedel” LETTERS TO THE EDITOR must include the author’s street address and phone number for verification. Letters must be 250 or fewer words. Submit to: 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Fax: (503) 243-1115, Email: mzusman@wweek.com

I drive the Marquam Bridge daily, and on the east end by Southeast Water Avenue is a pile of rock and broken cement that neither grows nor gets smaller, even though giant backhoes are active there daily. What’s going on? —Steve B. Upon receiving your letter, Steve, I immediately began dusting off my time-worn lecture about how Portlanders can’t stay abreast of the civic improvements undertaken in their names. I was confident the answer to your question would involve the MAX Orange Line, or the Southeast Water Avenue Relocation Project, or some other public-works initiative I would pretend I’d heard of once I’d looked it up. Imagine my surprise, then, when I discovered that your big pile of rocks is, more or less, a bigpile-of-rocks store. Yes, what your bleary eyes have beheld each day is the Portland yard of the Iron Horse Group, your one-stop headquarters for recycled stone, 4

Willamette Week JUNE 5, 2013 wweek.com

gravel and riprap, and purveyors of fine rubble to the crowned heads of Europe. OK, maybe not. Still, the reason the pile never changes size (it just sits there looking pretty much exactly like the place where Fred Flintstone used to work) is because it’s the inventory. Concrete and asphalt recycling is a real business, and—despite its post-apocalyptic appearance—a linchpin of green construction practices. In olden times, you’d tear down a concrete building and haul away the rubble in exhaustbelching trucks. Then you’d haul gravel in more trucks for a new concrete building on the same spot. Meanwhile, the old rubble went to the landfill, where it probably crushed a family of spotted owls. It only took society 200 or so years to realize that this rubble can be turned into gravel on site. Or, failing that, crushed to fist-sized chunks suitable for stoning infidels who won’t stop saying “Jehovah.” QUESTIONS? Send them to dr.know@wweek.com

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PUBLIC SAFETY: Trying to cuff the sheriff’s overtime costs. CITY HALL: Commissioners deal with a power shuffle. SOCIAL SERVICES: City Hall’s cuts to prostitution programs. COVER STORY: Our biennial rating of Portland-area legislators.

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Companies on the hook for a Superfund cleanup of Portland Harbor are paying millions to study the toxicity of Willamette River fish. But that doesn’t include $920 for new metal signs, designed by the Oregon Health Authority, to warn people about eating fish from the polluted harbor. U.S. Environmental Protection Agency officials informally asked a coalition of companies, the Lower Willamette Group, to pay for them. “We told [the EPA] we’d be happy to consider this if they put it in writing,” Lower Willamette Group spokeswoman Barbara Smith says. “They haven’t put it in writing.” But the EPA claims it couldn’t do that because the signs are outside its agreement with the companies. So the companies folded their arms while an environmental group, Willamette Riverkeeper, paid for four of the brightly colored signs. Legislative action on guns may not be dead after all. After finding success in Colorado, New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg’s Mayors Against Illegal Guns Action Fund is working to revive Oregon gun-control bills after four measures died in Salem. Lobbyists Jake Weigler and Len Bergstein, hired by Bloomberg’s group, declined to comment. But a key lawmaker, Sen. Betsy Johnson (D-Scappoose), told constituents in a Facebook post last week that there are bipartisan talks about “reasonable gun background check legislation.” Mayor Charlie Hales has labeled some Portland legislators “hypocritical” for saying they want police reform while supporting a bill he says would undermine his efforts to decertify the union for Portland police commanders. Hales claims the measure, HB 2418, would expand union protection for supervisors so broadly even Police Chief Mike Reese would be eligible for it. The measure, sponsored by Rep. Greg Matthews (D-Gresham), passed the House in March and got an OK from the Senate Committee on General Government, chaired by Sen. Chip Shields (D-Portland). “Hyperbole,” Shields says of Hales’ claims. “The city’s credibility is plummeting around here because of it.” Responds Hales: “We’ll have union members disciplining other union members. Let us know how that works out.”

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Portland’s famously bespectacled ex-mayor now has a line of designer glasses named for him. The Sam Adams are frames created by Portland-based Eyewear Design Alliance. Company president Paul Vu tells WW the frames are made of buffalo horn, which he calls a “sustainable, natural product.” Adams reviewed hundreds of options before settling on the design. Vu predicts the frames will be popular, even at a price between $400 and $1,400 retail. As Vu tells WW, “There’s going to be a lot of people wearing Sam on their face.”

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M AT T H E W B I L L I N G TO N

A SHERIFF ON PROBATION THE MULTNOMAH COUNTY BOARD PREPARES TO CRACK DOWN ON STATON’S OVERTIME SPENDING. BY AN D R E A DA M E WOO D

adamewood@wweek.com

Multnomah County Sheriff Dan Staton is about to see his runaway overtime spending put into lockdown. Staton routinely spends nearly twice the money he budgets for overtime, and he’s on pace to shatter his record $7.9 million in overtime last year. Multnomah County commissioners have accused him of mismanaging his budget—and a huge spike in the number of inmates released early from jail because of overcrowding is the result, they say. Now, according to internal county documents, commissioners are about to take the extraordinary step of making Staton come back to them every three months to justify his spending. “I think it’s incumbent upon us to see the money is spent wisely and effectively,” Commissioner Deborah Kafoury says. “If there’s something we can do to help, and to encourage greater oversight on the overtime, then that’s a step in the right direction.” Staton—who last week told WW he intends to run for re-election in 2014—declined to be interviewed for this story. The board historically has struggled to control spending by the sheriff, who is independently elected. The county will hand over $124 million to the sheriff this year, but once it does, it can’t tell him what to do with it. But some deputies have used overtime to double their pay, and Staton claims he is so short-staffed he must pay overtime to cover shifts in a department that runs 24/7 (“Overtime Busts,” WW, Jan. 9, 2013). The board will meet June 5 to consider new restrictions on how money for Staton’s department is doled out. Documents show commissioners plan to limit overtime for the first quarter of the new budget year to $748,014—a sum his department often blows through in just one month. Under the proposed plan, drafted by Commissioner Judy Shiprack, Staton would have to come back to the board every three months with an accounting of vacancies and retirements, what’s driving overtime costs, and the department’s top 10 overtime earners. Shiprack says she’s spoken with Staton and he agrees with the move. “This is really viewed as a teamwork effort to get a handle on the problem,” Shiprack says. The commissioners are tired of waiting for Staton to fix his budget, and they’re worried that his millions in overspending is linked to the jail’s rash of emergency releases. The county jail released 913 inmates last year because of overcrowding, compared to just 82 inmates in 2011. It’s on pace to set even more inmates free this year. During a May 22 meeting, Staton told the County Commission that half the inmates released for overcrowding commit another crime. “I’m very concerned about the serious offenders I’m forced to release,” he said.

So are the commissioners. At the same meeting, Commissioner Loretta Smith told Staton that if he could trim just $50,000 from each month’s spending—about 8 percent on average—he could open an additional dorm in the jail. Staton has said he must use overtime because he’s scrambling to fill job vacancies, particularly in the jail. But commissioners say Staton has more control of his overtime spending than he lets on. A breakdown of the numbers shows that at the end of the year, when the budget is tight, the sheriff’s office spends an average of $518,000 a month on overtime. But when a new budget year starts—as if it were payday—the monthly overtime jumps by an average of 43 percent. “They’re able to shrink overtime down at the end of every year,” Kafoury says. “Obviously, Staton has the ability to control it.” Adds Smith: “I’m losing patience.” Staton told commissioners at the May 22 meeting that,

instead of opening another 57-bed jail dorm full-time to supplement the county’s 1,310-bed capacity, he’d like to open it only as needed. The department is working through the data to see how much that would cost, he says. “We’re only paying for time when you open and close it,” Staton explains. County Chairman Jeff Cogen notes the county gave Staton’s office $888,000 last year to ramp up hiring. “I’m frustrated that the hiring process that we’ve amped up hasn’t gotten us there,” Cogen says. But Staton told commissioners his department has hired 24 new deputies and now has 15 vacancies, the lowest in years. But 76 deputies and sergeants are now eligible to retire, and the department estimates they’ll all be gone within five years. Staton told the county commissioners he’s on the right path—and that he, not the county board, is accountable. “I alone,” Staton said, “am tasked with maintaining a constitutionally sound jail system.” Willamette Week JUNE 5, 2013 wweek.com

NEWS

CITY HALL

MAYOR CHARLIE HALES SHUFFLES THE CITY BUREAUS—AND COMMISSIONERS HAVE TO DEAL. BY AA R O N M E SH

amesh@wweek.com

Nick Fish looked shaken. Amanda Fritz was horrified. Steve Novick told bicycle jokes in the lobby. And Dan Saltzman left early, pleased as punch. Portland’s city commissioners had just learned their fates June 3 for the next year and a half: Mayor Charlie Hales had divvied up bureau assignments—and delivered on his promise to end the City Hall status quo. No bureau went to the commissioner who ran it last year. Hales dismissed the pleas of commissioners who wanted to keep their favorite gigs. In doing so, he broke up old alliances and will force City Hall to look at old bureaus in new ways. Here’s what the changes mean for you— and the city politicians who now have to get to work. Charlie Hales is the Village Green Preservation Society. Most mayors keep the Police Bureau, the Portland Development Commission and the budget and finance offices for themselves. Hales did that. He also gave himself the Bureau of Planning and Sustainability, where he can reshape the city’s growth schemes. But the surprise was his pocketing of the Office of Neighborhood Involvement— overseeing the 95 fractious neighborhood associations that threaten to suck a mayor into small-bore livability issues, from apartment parking to bar patio hours. But wait—Hales is already engaged in those issues. Courting neighborhood associations keeps him close to the retail politics that helped elect him, and builds a ready-made ground operation for a reelection bid.

J O N AT H A N H I L L

ASSIGN OF THE TIMES Dan Saltzman will fight fire with ire. The last time Saltzman oversaw a publicsafety bureau, it did not end well. In 2010, then-Mayor Sam Adams yanked the Police Bureau away, after controversy over policeinvolved shootings and a nasty budget dispute in which Adams accused Saltzman of “sandbagging” him. But Hales’ handing of Portland Fire & Rescue to Saltzman keeps a City Council foot squarely on the inefficient bureau’s neck. Saltzman, the resident sourpuss, has demanded reform and cost-cutting, and successfully backed a ballot measure to reduce firefighter pensions. Hales’ bad blood with the firefighters’ union runs hot—he fought it as a city commissioner—and now gets some vengeance by proxy. Nick Fish sleeps with the ratepayers. We will resist further piscatory puns. The ever-cautious lawyer drew the most thankless assignment: utilities. He’s now in charge of both the Water Bureau (think angry ratepayers) and Bureau of Environmental Services (think sewers). The latter bureau plays a key role in the Portland Harbor Superfund site, except Hales kept that authority for himself. What does Fish get? Ongoing ratepayer lawsuits spurred by ex-Commissioner Randy Leonard’s use of Water Bureau money as a slush fund. And he inherits the implacable Friends of the Reservoirs, livid over the closing of the vintage Mount Tabor drinking-water tanks. Oh, and voter initiative measures to strip the water and sewer bureaus from City Council control. Which would appear on the May 2014 ballot. When Fish is up for re-election. Steve Novick gets the shakes. Novick may want parking meters on every street—an exaggeration, but not by much—and now he can do it with control of the Bureau of Transportation. (He can also patch potholes and keep wooing the cycling vote.)

But nothing grabs Novick’s interest more than the Big One. He is obsessed with preparations for the earthquake that’s overdue here in the Cascadia Subduction Zone. He’s now in charge of the Bureau of Emergency Management—and gets to spend the next two years bolting houses to their foundations. Amanda Fritz is out on the lawn. The most anticipated question in City Hall over the last month? What comeuppance would Hales hand Fritz, who has challenged the mayor at every turn? She voted against his budget and helped kill his

efforts to pass an anti-loitering law (otherwise known as “sit-lie”) in the Legislature. Hales responded with a daisy. Fritz gets the city’s beloved jewel, Parks & Recreation, that Fish was loath to lose. Oddly, Fritz coveted the Water Bureau, but sources say she lost it when she fought Hales over the covering of the Washington Park reservoirs and the closing of those on Mount Tabor. She also gets the Bureau of Development Services, which enforces building codes. One danger: The famously persnickety Fritz could insist on inspecting every house in Portland herself.

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1675 SW Marlow, Portland, OR www.pacificbipolar.com

Willamette Week JUNE 5, 2013 wweek.com

503 747 4036

Gallery listinGs & more! Page 51 in WW

SOCIAL SERVICES RONITPHOTO.COM

NEWS

Food & drink

JANUS-FACED CITY: “We do have something that is incredibly vital to preserve,” says Dennis Morrow, executive director of Janus Youth Programs.

HOUSE WITH NO HOME HALES RESTORED LOTS OF CITY HALL SPENDING. WHY NOT SERVICES FOR KIDS ESCAPING PROSTITUTION? BY AN N - D E R R I C K G AI LLOT

agaillot@wweek.com

In the final weeks of writing his first budget, Mayor Charlie Hales restored money to dozens of city programs he had suggested cutting: the Police Bureau’s Mounted Patrol Unit, a county-run mental crisis center and even the Buckman Pool. But here’s one thing he did cut: $47,000 to help prosecute pimps and $70,000 more to help children who have been forced into prostitution on Portland’s streets. This cut would have gone all but unnoticed if not for City Commissioner Amanda Fritz, the lone vote against Hales’ entire budget, who cited the cut to the Janus Youth Programs as a big reason. “I cannot visit the shelter for children escaping from prostitution and look them in the eyes if I vote to cut funding for their safe shelter and treatment,” Fritz said. The cuts are part of an ongoing struggle between the city and county over which government should fund social-service agencies. Hales and Multnomah County Chairman Jeff Cogen had left the sex-trafficking programs out of a recent deal they reached. After hearing criticism, Hales restored most funding. But not enough for the Athena House, a shelter for sexually exploited children, run by Janus and funded mostly by the county. The $70,000 program would have served 40 kids next year by paying for tutoring, classes and field trips, including to the Oregon Zoo. “Who pays for that YMCA class?” asks Dennis Morrow, executive director of Janus. “Or maybe they need specialized tutoring; who pays for that specialized tutoring?” The other $47,000 Hales cut helps pay for a deputy district attorney who works with police targeting pimps on 82nd Avenue. The Multnomah County district attorney’s office will have to find the money elsewhere. “We’re going to continue prosecuting those cases,” says Jeff Howes, first assistant to the Multnomah County DA. “I think that’s the takeaway here.” Hales spokesman Dana Haynes says the mayor’s office asked Janus how much money it needed. “We gave Janus what Janus asked for,” Haynes says. Janus’ Morrow says that’s not the whole story: The mayor’s office asked only what was the bare minimum the program needed to survive. “I basically called it life support,” he says. Morrow is worried, because Hales has warned Janus the city will cut off all funding for Athena House next year. “A 13-year-old girl who is being sold for sex on the streets of Portland, there’s no place for them to go without this place,” Morrow says. “These kids largely are invisible. The community doesn’t want to see them. ”

Page 30

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S E N AT E

THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE AWFUL OUR RANKING OF PORTLAND-AREA LAWMAKERS. BY N I GEL JAQ UI SS

njaquiss@wweek.com

Reader, beware: What follows is mostly gossip and opinion. As we have done near the end of every legislative session since 1977, WW surveyed Salem lobbyists, legislative staffers and journalists to get their views on metro-area lawmakers. Our goal is to get a candid assessment of the men and women who make Oregon’s laws and write the budget. Normally, WW uses anonymous sources sparingly. But this story is entirely based on the anonymous comments of respondents who risk losing access or even their jobs if they were to speak openly about lawmakers. We sent our survey to capitol insiders, asking them to rate lawmakers on a scale of 1 to 10 on three different criteria: integrity, brains and effectiveness. A lawmaker’s overall score is the average of those categories. We got 56 surveys back from a variety of respondents across the political spectrum. And while this is hardly a scientific poll, the range of those surveyed, from union members to business lobbyists, from environmentalists to those who make their money in the resource extraction business, is a pretty fair representation of this state. Some context: This year, Democrats snatched back control of the House by a 34-to-26 margin, and in the Senate retained a 16-14 advantage. That’s good news for Portland-area legislators, most of whom are Democrats. The other news is that, because of an improved economy, the Legislature had an additional $1.25 billion to spend. While that might suggest a session filled with accomplishment, with less than a month to go before lawmakers go home, it appears this will not be a landmark year in the history of the Oregon Legislature. Instead, the session will be best remembered for fruitless wrangling over gun regulation, a largely failed attempt to bring public-employee retirement benefits into line with reality, and the naive passage of funding for the Columbia River Crossing bridge project. So how did legislators from the metro area fare? Among veterans, some lawmakers age like big-ticket pinot noir. Others rot like old grapes. As for rookies? We learned that an injection of new blood has enlivened the House, and addition by subtraction has made it a more pleasant place to work. Here’s the scorecard for the class of 2013:

EXCELLENT

SEN. RICHARD DEVLIN D-Tualatin Overall rating: 8.83 Integrity: 8.58 Brains: 9.02 Effectiveness: 8.88

Every office has an IT geek without whom nobody’s computer would work. In Salem, Devlin, 60, plays that role, and in this survey scored the highest of any Portland-area lawmaker. The owlish, retired legal investigator has served in Salem since 1997 and now co-chairs the budget-writing Joint Ways and Means Committee. Every session, he gets kudos for his fiendish grasp of arcane detail. “Brilliant, hardworking and very strategic,” says an admirer. Devlin crafted Senate Bill 822, which achieved a first round of PERS reductions totaling about $800 million (that bill left many members wanting deeper cuts, a situation unresolved at press time). Lobbyists praise Devlin for that rarest of political traits, getting results without calling attention to himself. As one lobbyist put it, “Kind of the nerdy kid who goes unnoticed by most but is smart and crafty at positioning [Democrats] in the budget process, so [he’s] almost unnoticed until after it’s done.” CONT. on page 14

H O U S E O F R E P R E S E N TAT I V E S

EXCELLENT

REP. CHRIS GARRETT D-Lake Oswego Overall rating: 8.13 Integrity: 7.88 Brains: 8.66 Effectiveness: 7.84

Unflappable and good-natured, Garrett, 39, is a third-termer who gets better each session. In a field populated with selfpromoters, this buttoned-down corporate lawyer lets his work speak for itself. “Level-headed in a caucus that kept straying,” says one observer. Garrett serves as speaker pro tem and chairs the House Rules Committee. After co-leading legislative redistricting in 2011, Garrett spent this session trying to trim Oregon’s prison spending, although he failed to roll back Measure 11, Oregon’s mandatory sentencing law, in an effort to shrink the state’s prison population. “All star,” says a veteran lobbyist. “Smart, cares, works hard. Should be governor or speaker someday.” CONT. on page 16 Willamette Week JUNE 5, 2013 wweek.com

SENATE

THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE AWFUL CONT.

GOOD

AVERAGE

SEN. ELIZABETH STEINER HAYWARD

SEN. JACKIE DINGFELDER

SEN. DIANE ROSENBAUM

D-Northwest Portland Overall rating: 7.43 Integrity: 8.00 Brains: 8.26 Effectiveness: 6.02

D-Portland Overall rating: 7.12 Integrity: 7.40 Brains: 7.35 Effectiveness: 6.63

D-Southeast Portland Overall rating: 6.97 Integrity: 7.57 Brains: 6.74 Effectiveness: 6.59

Steiner Hayward, 50, a sunny family-practice physician, wowed observers in her first full session. “Outstanding!” says a GOP lobbyist. She served on two Ways and Means subcommittees, plum assignments for a newcomer. She passed a bill providing incentives for doctors to serve in rural areas, and added valuable health-care knowledge to the upper chamber. One observer thinks she could tone it down. “Super smart and super chatty. Obnoxiously so.” “Needs to let her seniority catch up with her mouth,” says a lobbyist. But insiders like her nerve. “She’s got balls to take on her own employer [Oregon Health & Science University] in legislative hearings,” says another.

When rural Oregonians stereotype Portlanders as treehugging Subaru pilots, they are talking about Dingfelder. “What you see is what you get: which ain’t much unless you are capable of photosynthesis,” says a business lobbyist. A diminutive Energizer Bunny whose day job is as an environmental consultant, she chairs the Senate Environment and Natural Resources Committee. Dingfelder, 52, a lawmaker since 2001, is rising in the estimation of our respondents. This session, she pressed for a ban on the practice of suction-dredging, a mining technique environmentalists hate. That bill is stuck in committee. Another initiative, relaxing the requirements for people who braid hair, passed both chambers. “Progressive, reliable,” says an admirer. Adds a lobbyist, “She’s learning to work with her committee members and others.”

Senate Majority Leader Rosenbaum is second banana to Salem’s senior lawmaker, six-term Senate President Peter Courtney (D-Salem). That title should confer power, but her effectiveness score is low, a recognition, many insiders say, that she doesn’t play a meaningful role. “Seems totally irrelevant on key negotiations,” says one respondent. “Lets Courtney run the place.” Rosenbaum, 63, who also chairs the Senate Rules Committee, served five terms in the House before entering the Senate in 2009. Her biggest accomplishment this session was passage of a foreclosure mediation bill, which proponents hope will fix the flawed process that currently exists. “Majority leader?” asks a Democratic lobbyist. “Has anyone told the majority?”

AVERAGE

SEN. MARK HASS

SEN. BRUCE STARR

SEN. LARRY GEORGE

D-Beaverton Overall rating: 6.90 Integrity: 7.25 Brains: 7.00 Effectiveness: 6.45

R-Hillsboro Overall rating: 6.65 Integrity: 6.51 Brains: 6.75 Effectiveness: 6.68

R-Sherwood Overall rating: 6.57 Integrity: 6.21 Brains: 7.14 Effectiveness: 6.37

When you are a smart, handsome and peevish Democrat, you are either the governor or Hass, 56, a former television reporter. Because he has many of the skills politicians require—looks, speaking ability and an eye for big issues—people often suspect he’s got his eye on higher office. Pushing ambitious tax reforms does little to dispel such talk. “Running for governor is hard,” says one lobbyist cynically of Hass, who entered the Legislature in 2001. As chairman of the Senate Education Committee, Hass refined initiatives from the 2011 session, pushing through independent boards for Portland State University and the University of Oregon. His bill expanding dual-credit opportunities for high-school students is still alive. “Last of the dying breed of true moderates,” says a business lobbyist.

Starr, 44, an ambitious second-generation lawmaker, serves as the president-elect of the National Conference of State Legislatures. A lawmaker since 1999, he ran a curiously uninspired campaign for the state labor commissioner’s job last year and lost to incumbent Commissoner Brad Avakian, who even Democrats thought was vulnerable. “Seems to have dimmed his enthusiasm for public life,” says a lobbyist of Starr’s loss. Marooned in the minority, the longtime transportation specialist played a major role in passing the Columbia River Crossing bill early in the session but looks to be biding his time for another stab at higher office. “Should exert himself more in his caucus,” says one observer. “Senate [Republicans] need lots of help, and Starr is a smart guy.”

A wily tactician and skillful orator who’s been in the minority since first being elected in 2007, George, 45, is like a guy who knows 100 ways to make love but doesn’t know any women, respondents say. “Seems totally willing to accept the caucus’s inability to get anything done and blame it on numbers,” says one disappointed observer. “Should stop trying to fool people with words or hair dye,” says another. George spent most of the session holed up with his caucusmate, Sen. Brian Boquist (R-Dallas), working on potential new taxes. The idea was to convince Democrats to agree to deeper PERS cuts in exchange for more revenue. “The most effective [Republican],” says one lobbyist. “Super smart,” says another.

SENATE CONT. FROM PAGE 13

Willamette Week JUNE 5, 2013 wweek.com

THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE AWFUL CONT.

SENATE

BAD

SEN. CHUCK THOMSEN

SEN. ROD MONROE

SEN. GINNY BURDICK

R-Hood River Overall rating: 6.47 Integrity: 7.41 Brains: 6.25 Effectiveness: 5.75

D-Portland Overall rating: 6.45 Integrity: 7.95 Brains: 6.05 Effectiveness: 5.34

D-Southwest Portland Overall rating: 6.39 Integrity: 6.63 Brains: 6.26 Effectiveness: 6.29

Thomsen, 56, who exhibits the calm that befits somebody who grows pears for a living, may be the quietest man in the Senate. Some people are OK with that. “Probably the nicest guy in the Oregon Legislature,” says one lobbyist. “There’s some smarts under the ‘I’m just a pear farmer’ schtick,” says another. Thomsen’s strong support for tuition equity and driver’s licenses for undocumented immigrants is in sync with the agricultural lobby but still courageous for a Republican. Many say Thomsen, serving in his second full session, needs to elevate his game. “Has the potential to be a voice of reason and a real leader in his caucus, but he has to be willing to step up to the plate,” an observer says.

It’s a myth that Monroe knew Lewis and Clark personally, but it’s true that he was first elected to the Legislature in 1976, before four current House members were born. Monroe, 70, a retired teacher who served on the Metro Council for a dozen years, says on his website that he still runs five miles a day. But observers say he’s run out of energy as a lawmaker. Monroe tried and failed to pass same-day voter registration, an idea popular elsewhere, and at press time he was still pushing doomed legislation that would allow counties to levy their own alcohol and tobacco taxes. Many observers say Monroe is ready for a gold watch. “One of the most talked-about legislators—mainly about when he is going to retire,” says one lobbyist. Should he depart, that would tee up the candidacy of a constituent, former Rep. Jefferson Smith.

Burdick makes more headlines than laws. “Two words on effectiveness,” writes one respondent, “gun bills.” If Salem’s top arms-control expert can’t pass anti-gun measures after the Newtown, Conn., and Clackamas Town Center shootings, maybe it’s time to turn to something more achievable, like cold fusion. Burdick, 65, a reporterturned-PR consultant serving in her eighth session, also chairs the Senate Finance and Revenue Committee. That puts her in the middle of Salem’s long-running pipe dream: tax reform. Like gun control, tax reform ain’t happening. Burdick did help pass a bill preventing employers from gaining access to employees’ social-media accounts. Lobbyists acknowledge Burdick tackles big issues, but her initiatives often fall short. “Way past her expiration date,” says a critic.

BAD

AWFUL

SEN. CHIP SHIELDS

SEN. LAURIE MONNES ANDERSON

SEN. ALAN OLSEN

D-Portland Overall rating: 6.38 Integrity: 6.58 Brains: 6.85 Effectiveness: 5.71

D-Gresham Overall rating: 5.78 Integrity: 7.10 Brains: 4.94 Effectiveness: 5.31

R-Canby Overall rating: 5.14 Integrity: 6.83 Brains: 4.44 Effectiveness: 4.14

Shields, 45, who chairs the General Government, Consumer and Small Business Protection Committee, is like a photoshopped magazine cover that promises more than its content delivers. “He never comes in with a plan beyond kicking insurance companies in the nuts,” says a lobbyist. “Has rolling hearings over broad issues, and nothing happens.” Since graduating to the Senate in 2009 after three House sessions, Shields has focused on ever-increasing health-insurance premiums. This session, the clinic administrator worked on bills that would bring insurers under the jurisdiction of Oregon’s unfair trade practices act and force them to pay environmental cleanup claims more rapidly—a measure wanted by companies on the hook for paying for the cleanup of the Portland Harbor Superfund site. Both bills are still alive.

Some lawmakers approach their work with the precision of Swiss watchmakers. But to hear insiders talk, Monnes Anderson, a 67-year-old retired nurse, is lucky just to find her way to the capitol each day. “Given her seniority, she should know by now how to get things done,” says an observer. But Monnes Anderson, who has served in Salem since 2001 and chairs the Senate Health Care and Human Services Committee, often seems confused, observers say. Her scores showed the biggest gap between integrity and brains of any lawmaker in this survey. She did find some success in two of the bills she worked on this session: pay parity for nurse practitioners, which is still alive, and permission for certified nurse anesthetists to write prescriptions, which passed both chambers. One observer referred to a gaffe during her re-election race last year: “Let her nursing license lapse last year,” the observer says. “Good thing you don’t need a license to legislate.”

Olsen, 65, a building contractor in his second session, came to politics late in life. Some wonder why he bothered. He often appears lost amid a group far more experienced than he is. No lawmaker showed such a big divergence between integrity—Olsen’s got plenty—and effectiveness, where he falls short. “He has spent four years in Salem without leaving a trace,” says an industry lobbyist. “If he loses, international jewel thief might be a good second career.” CONT. on page 16

Willamette Week JUNE 5, 2013 wweek.com

HOUSE

THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE AWFUL CONT.

EXCELLENT

GOOD

REP. TINA KOTEK

REP. JULES BAILEY

REP. JENNIFER WILLIAMSON

D-North Portland Overall rating: 7.96 Integrity: 7.48 Brains: 8.73 Effectiveness: 7.67

D-Portland Overall rating: 7.76 Integrity: 7.27 Brains: 8.53 Effectiveness: 7.49

D-Portland Overall rating: 7.75 Integrity: 7.92 Brains: 8.28 Effectiveness: 7.05

In just three terms, Kotek has risen to the third-most powerful position in the capitol. The first out lesbian to lead any House in the U.S., Kotek, 46, deftly steered the controversial $450 million Columbia River Crossing bill to passage early in the session. She kept union supporters happy by holding off deeper PERS cuts. But she embarrassed herself by claiming she had enough votes to increase business taxes and income taxes on the rich—and then failed to deliver. She also struggled with focus. “We did a rough count in the lobby, and we think she’s up to having 411 priority bills,” writes an observer. “Every constituent who knocks at your door isn’t a crisis.” Still, Kotek generally held together a fractious group. “Solid management of the House—painted herself in a few corners, but she has performed well,” says an observer.

Bailey, 33, is known for elegant solutions and fashionable clothes. As an economist, he brings an effective mixture of idealism and pragmatism to Salem’s sausage factory. He helped create Oregon’s runaway energy-tax credits in two previous sessions, but he is now more pragmatic. He chairs the House Energy and Environment Committee. He passed a bill extending solar-energy pilot programs. “Improving by leaps and bounds,” says one respondent. “Still often thinks he’s the smartest guy in the room, but he’s at least willing to listen to the rest of us.”

Williamson, 39, a smiley first-termer, has ably replaced Mary Nolan, who resigned her seat for an unsuccessful run for Portland City Council. A former First Amendment lawyer, Williamson spent a couple of sessions in Salem lobbying before running for office. That familiarity with the capitol is worth a lot in a culture proud of its traditions. As a rookie, Williamson chaired the Joint Ways and Means Subcommittee on Public Safety. “You’ve usually got to be here for 10 years to get that kind of assignment,” says an observer. “Freshman of the year,” says one of many admirers.

GOOD

REP. MICHAEL DEMBROW

REP. GREG MATTHEWS

REP. JEFF BARKER

D-Northeast Portland Overall rating: 7.51 Integrity: 8.03 Brains: 7.53 Effectiveness: 6.98

D-Gresham Overall rating: 7.43 Integrity: 8.10 Brains: 6.98 Effectiveness: 7.20

D-Aloha Overall rating: 7.41 Integrity: 8.05 Brains: 6.76 Effectiveness: 7.41

Monkish and dour, this longtime Portland Community College English teacher and faculty union leader is predictably labor friendly. As chairman of the Higher Education and Workforce Development Committee, Dembrow, 61, pushed through a tuition-equity bill allowing undocumented immigrants to pay in-state tuition at Oregon colleges and universities. Although one lobbyist calls Dembrow a “partisan hack,” several others share this assessment: “Works hard behind the scenes, solid lawmaker.”

Think of Randy Leonard with more hair and less attitude, and you have Matthews, 48, a Gresham firefighter and the chairman of the House Veterans’ Services and Emergency Preparedness Committee. His top bill this session would grant tuition equity to veterans. It has not yet passed but is still alive. Matthews is a staunch union vote but moderate on other issues, which explains his bipartisan appeal. A Matthews bill that would reclassify public-safety supervisors as rank-and-file union members was still alive at press time. People value his honesty. “You always know where you stand with Matthews, even when you don’t agree,” says a typical response.

Barker, a no-nonsense 70-year-old former Portland Police Bureau detective, is like an old cowhand who breaks in new horses. In his case, the horses are the ambitious, mostly young lawyers who populate the House Judiciary Committee that Barker chairs. Along with Matthews, Barker stands in the political middle of the House and is known as a straight shooter. A rare law-and-order voice among House Democrats, Barker also pushed through a bill this session providing better passenger rail coordination in the Northwest. Says a frequent visitor to his committee, “Consistently moderate and helpful to those of us in the middle.”

HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES CONT. FROM PAGE 13

CONT. on page 18

Willamette Week JUNE 5, 2013 wweek.com

HOUSE

THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE AWFUL CONT.

GOOD

REP. MITCH GREENLICK

REP. JESSICA VEGA PEDERSON

REP. JOHN DAVIS

D-Portland Overall rating: 7.32 Integrity: 7.45 Brains: 7.65 Effectiveness: 6.85

D-East Portland Overall rating: 7.31 Integrity: 7.92 Brains: 7.47 Effectiveness: 6.56

R-Wilsonville Overall rating: 7.09 Integrity: 7.70 Brains: 8.00 Effectiveness: 5.57

Two bum hips and cancer have not slowed this tarttongued former medical researcher. Greenlick is 78, but no lawmaker’s mind is quicker. “Has announced he will be running for re-election in 2030 as cryogenically enhanced legislator,” says one commenter. After a frenzied session of health-care reform in 2011, the House Health Care Committee chairman this session tried to end the practice of unqualified teachers bumping less senior but more qualified teachers during layoffs, a big problem in Beaverton. Despite opposition from the teachers’ union, that bill is still alive. Never wildly popular because he’s impatient and blunt, Greenlick is widely respected. “Thoughtful, consistent, and—for better or worse—independently minded,” says a lobbyist.

Vega Pederson, 38, one of two Hispanic lawmakers elected in 2012 (Hillsboro’s Joe Gallegos was the other), replaced former Rep. Jefferson Smith, who gave up his seat last year to run unsuccessfully for Portland mayor. Vega Pederson helped pass the bill granting undocumented immigrants driver’s licenses, and also worked on a kindergarten-readiness bill that was still alive at press time. “Surprisingly strong,” says a Democratic lobbyist. “Is going to be very good.” Others think she needs more steel. “Wishy-washy, flip-floppy, pliable, bendable, malleable,” says another lobbyist.

Rookies and Republicans do not always fare well in this survey, but Davis, 30, a business lawyer who looks barely old enough to vote, impressed observers with his thoughtful, low-key approach. Davis replaced Matt Wingard, who did not seek re-election. “A star is born—too bad this exceptional Republican exists in Oregon’s deep blue constellation,” says a business lobbyist. Says a Democrat, “If the Republican Party behaved like Rep. Davis, they might win a statewide election.”

AVERAGE

REP. CAROLYN TOMEI

REP. MARGARET DOHERTY

REP. ALISSA KENY-GUYER

D-Milwaukie Overall rating: 6.94 Integrity: 7.77 Brains: 6.51 Effectiveness: 6.55

D-Tigard Overall rating: 6.92 Integrity: 7.21 Brains: 6.72 Effectiveness: 6.82

D-Portland Overall rating: 6.90 Integrity: 7.72 Brains: 6.93 Effectiveness: 6.04

Tomei, 77, who could be a stunt double for former Portland Mayor Vera Katz, inspires wildly different responses from lobbyists who’ve worked with her in her seven terms in the House. “Best values in the capitol; staying untarnished after a decade in office is amazing,” says an observer. Others think she’s exceeded her shelf life. “Why is she even here?” says a lobbyist. Tomei passed a bill that will make it easier for law enforcement to crack down on pimps. Part of what people admire about Tomei, who chairs the Human Services and Housing Committee, is that she’s above the petty feuds and vote trading that besmirch some lawmakers’ reputations. “She is the most respectful and caring member of the House,” says an observer.

Doherty, 62, a former teacher and teachers’ union official, took on a big task in her second term: Kotek picked her to replace fire-breathing former Rep. Mike Schaufler (D-Happy Valley) as chair of the House Business and Labor Committee. That panel hears a torrential volume and variety of bills. Many lobbyists applauded the kinder, gentler chair. “The nice auntie I never had,” says one. “Too much time on irrelevant bills,” gripes another. Doherty passed a bill that prevents employers from forcing workers to hand over their social-media passwords. Several people note her labor-friendly approach. “Never met a union proposal she didn’t love,” says an observer. “Her committee became known as the House Labor and Labor Committee.”

Keny-Guyer, 54, holds an enviable position: She’s wealthy, sits in a safe House seat and is not chasing higher office. The Mount Tabor earth mother showed her independence in December as one of the few Democrats to criticize the special session devoted to preserving a favorable tax code for Nike. A few lobbyists think she’s too laid back. “I wish she’d stop thinking she was new and take on more,” says one. Keny-Guyer was the sole sponsor of a successful measure that will allow mothers to bring home their placentas from the hospital after giving birth. Her bill calling for cultural competency training for medical providers also passed. Critics say she’s a nanny-stater. Says one, “Floor speech she dreams about: ‘The people sent me to Salem to get Snickers out of state vending machines, and I won’t rest until every Ding Dong is gone.’”

Willamette Week JUNE 5, 2013 wweek.com

THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE AWFUL CONT.

HOUSE

AVERAGE

REP. BEN UNGER

REP. LEW FREDERICK

REP. SHEMIA FAGAN

D-Hillsboro Overall rating: 6.74 Integrity: 6.58 Brains: 7.38 Effectiveness: 6.27

D-Portland Overall rating: 6.73 Integrity: 7.68 Brains: 6.73 Effectiveness: 5.78

D-East Portland Overall rating: 6.73 Integrity: 7.00 Brains: 7.40 Effectiveness: 5.81

Unger resembles a walking coat rack, towering over nearly everyone in the House in both height—he’s 6 feet 6 inches tall—and energy. The rookie lawmaker also brought a distinctive sartorial style to Salem. “The worst-dressed person this session. He must dress himself in the dark,” says a critic of Unger’s hipster attire. A political consultant, Unger, 37, passed a bill that allows farmers to accept food stamps. But during session, he still found time to work as a paid consultant on Portland’s ill-fated fluoride campaign. “Needs to focus on governance and stop campaigning,” says one respondent.

As a reporter for KGW and later spokesman for Portland Public Schools, Frederick, 61, covered a lot of territory. He still does as a member of the budget-writing Ways and Means Committee. He’s a generalist as a lawmaker too, having served three terms without carving out an expertise all his own. The Legislature’s only African-American male, he is a strong voice on equity issues. He pushed legislation that will require the criminal justice commission to study racial profiling, and he passed a bill that requires the owners of foreclosed properties to maintain them. Some observers think he’s overlooked. “Smartest legislator nobody listens to,” says a lobbyist.

One of the youngest members of the legislature, Fagan, a 31-year-old rookie, is also one of the busiest. A member of the David Douglas School Board and a lawyer at the Ater Wynne firm, she had her first child shortly before defeating incumbent Rep. Patrick Sheehan last year. Her affection for social media, including Facebook brawls with Rep. Julie Parrish (R-West Linn), caught observers’ eyes. “Hey, we all can see you twittering when you should be paying attention in committee,” says a lobbyist. Fagan pushed Mayor Charlie Hales to spend money on sidewalks after a young constituent was hit by a car and killed. “A little too sure of herself at times, but an up and comer,” writes a fan. “Thin-skinned and easily baited,” says a critic. CONT. on page 20

Bicycle Fittings Bicycle Buying Classes Bicycle Repair Classes

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info@europavelo.org Willamette Week JUNE 5, 2013 wweek.com

HOUSE

THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE AWFUL CONT.

AVERAGE

BAD

REP. MARK JOHNSON

REP. JOE GALLEGOS

REP. TOBIAS READ

R-Hood River Overall rating: 6.62 Integrity: 6.68 Brains: 7.00 Effectiveness: 6.19

D-Hillsboro Overall rating: 6.50 Integrity: 7.68 Brains: 6.64 Effectiveness: 5.18

D-Beaverton Overall rating: 6.42 Integrity: 6.11 Brains: 6.91 Effectiveness: 6.24

Johnson, 56, a flinty home builder and Hood River school board member, has the jeans, boots and mustachioed look of Gov. Kitzhaber. He has built as strong a relationship with the governor as any Republican, based on a shared view of education and PERS reform. Sometimes mentioned as a possible statewide candidate, Johnson is a man without a country in a caucus characterized by disorganization and ineffectiveness. Labor lobbyists hate the second-termer. “Has he ever met a public worker he has not wanted to tip upside down and empty their pockets?” writes one. But the consensus view is more positive: “Knows what he wants to accomplish and works hard at it.”

Gallegos, 71, a retired University of Portland professor known for his quick smile and soft voice, struggled for visibility in a strong class of freshman lawmakers. “No wonder they hid him during the campaign,” says one critic. A bill Gallegos pushed that would require greater transparency of the costs of higher education was still alive at press time. “Stated on the House floor that ‘cultural competence is job creation,’” says another critic. “That ought to stop the exodus of businesses from the state.”

With great ambitions come great expectations. Before the session, Read, 37, chair of the House Transportation and Economic Development Committee, suffered a disappointing loss to Rep. Val Hoyle (D-Eugene) for House majority leader. “You didn’t get to be majority leader as Kotek promised you,” says one lobbyist. “Get over it. It was months ago, and you had a committee to run.” The lanky, raw-boned former Nike footwear developer’s business-friendly approach is out of style in his caucus. “Whines about his party’s leadership (which he is a part of), then follows their orders blindly,” says one. A strong fundraiser with Silicon Valley and D.C. connections, Read played a central role in pushing through the Columbia River Crossing funding bill, but otherwise it was a disappointing session for the fourth-termer, who, one critic sniffs, is “not as smart as he thinks he is.”

BAD

REP. BRENT BARTON

REP. CHRIS GORSEK

REP. BILL KENNEMER

D-Oregon City Overall rating: 6.29 Integrity: 5.76 Brains: 7.37 Effectiveness: 5.73

D-Troutdale Overall rating: 6.17 Integrity: 7.03 Brains: 6.10 Effectiveness: 5.37

R-Oregon City Overall rating: 6.07 Integrity: 6.53 Brains: 6.06 Effectiveness: 5.64

When your pals live in Portland, moving to Clackamas and then Oregon City shows a fearsome desire to be a lawmaker. After winning a Clackamas House seat in 2008, Barton, 33, a lawyer, served a term and then lost a race for the Senate in 2010. Sidelined for the 2011 session, he carpetbagged to Oregon City and won the seat vacated by former House Speaker Dave Hunt (D-Gladstone). Without a committee chairmanship, the Harvard Law grad seemed underemployed—witness the big gap between his scores for brains and effectiveness. “No gavel and very sad about it,” says an observer. Barton did pass a bill increasing funding for workforce training but failed at his highest-profile bill, one that would penalize college coaches who commit NCAA violations and then flee, a la Chip Kelly. “Why did Barton run again?” asks an insider.

A former Portland cop who now teaches criminal justice and geography at Mt. Hood Community College, Gorsek, 55, scored at the low end of his rookie class. “Does not do his homework,” says a critic. “I thought ‘State Legislative Process 101’ or ‘How a Bill Becomes a Law’ were required for all freshman,” says another. After defeating incumbent Rep. Matt Wand (R-Troutdale), Gorsek seemed not to know what to do next. He spent a lot of time trying to make the TriMet board, currently appointed by the governor, larger and appointed by local governments. That went nowhere.

Kennemer, 66, a spiky-haired psychologist, is one of the most experienced politicians in the House. “Brings lots of wisdom to the process,” says a respondent. Problem is, that wisdom doesn’t lead to much. The former state senator and Clackamas County commissioner passed a bill that allows fishermen to throw fish guts back into the water from whence they came. He also passed “Boring and Dull Day,” which twins his constituent city, Boring, with an equally uninteresting burg: Dull, Scotland. “A breed that’s almost vanished—a centrist,” says one lobbyist.

Willamette Week JUNE 5, 2013 wweek.com

CONT. on page 23

Willamette Week JUNE 5, 2013 wweek.com

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THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE AWFUL CONT.

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REP. JULIE PARRISH

D-Washington County Overall rating: 5.98 Integrity: 6.58 Brains: 6.31 Effectiveness: 5.05

D-Happy Valley Overall rating: 5.94 Integrity: 6.86 Brains: 5.88 Effectiveness: 5.09

R-West Linn Overall rating: 5.78 Integrity: 6.07 Brains: 5.44 Effectiveness: 5.84

Harker, 59, a tweedy former OHSU researcher, now runs a small software company. The third-termer’s unwillingness to play the game—raise big money and kowtow to labor interests—has left him outside the mainstream of his caucus. That showed when party leaders snubbed him in his quest to replace former state Sen. Suzanne Bonamici (D -Beaverton), whose district Harker is in. “What happened here?” asks a respondent. “Potential that fizzled.” This session, Harker sponsored one of the earliest bills Gov. Kitzhaber signed into law—the new policy allowing undocumented immigrants to have driver’s licenses. Harker is no dummy, but many observers question his focus. “Strange cat,” writes a lobbyist. “He doesn’t seem to have figured out what he wants to be when he grows up.”

Last year, business and labor supporters united behind the controversial incumbent in this district, then-Rep. Mike Schaufler (D-Happy Valley), and he looked hard to beat. But the Oregon League of Conservation Voters recruited a political unknown, Reardon, a genial former shop teacher and Tektronix manager. Against all odds and without displaying much in the way of political chops, Reardon won. And insiders say the best thing that can be said about Reardon, 66, is he’s not Schaufler. “Total lack of impact on process or people,” says an observer.

This rating proves that while populism makes headlines, it does not play well with political insiders in either party. Parrish, 38, a dynamo who recently sold her business, Coupon Girls, rocketed to the No. 2 spot in her caucus in only her second term. Blunt and outspoken, she is a leader of the club of legislators who insist on making laws based on anecdote and personal experience. “The mouth that bored,” says an observer. “May I get you a cup of shut the fuck up?” She pushed for laws that would have regulated poker parlors, set aside 5 percent of Oregon Lottery proceeds for veterans and try to force midwives to be licensed (many are not). Those bills failed. But betting against a battler who has twice defeated better-funded Democrats and vaulted over more-experienced caucus-mates would be a mistake. “The darling of the press,” concludes an observer, “the nightmare of everyone else.” News intern Alex Blum contributed to this report.

TriMet Financial Problems: Self-Inflicted? trimet has cut our passengers’ service and raised fares. each day, we hear from our passengers how these changes have made their lives more difficult. at the same time, trimet intends to cut our family income in at least 80 different ways. Whenever the question, “Why are trimet’s workers and passengers being asked to make such deep sacrifices?” is raised, the response is always the same: “trimet has terrible financial problems.” We started investigating, looking for the cause of those “financial problems.” this investigation raised a number of questions. below are just two of them. $18.9 Million Disability ContraCt We’re seeing more and more disabled passengers being forced off the LIFT service and onto fixed route buses. Yet, TriMet pays over $18.9 million a year to a Scottish multinational corporation to provide the LIFT service using TriMet-owned vehicles and buildings. That cost has grown by $6 million in the last ten years. TriMet hired two different financial experts to examine whether TriMet itself could provide the same service at a lower cost. Each time, the experts answered with a resounding “Yes!” The last expert, in 2004, stated TriMet could save nearly $3.7 million. TriMet rejected these expert’s opinions. If there is such a financial crisis, why are these opinions being ignored? Why is it a good idea to have a foreign corporation take millions in profits out of our local community?

Look for us on facebook

$10.3 Million in PoliCe ContraCts We love our transit police officers. They are competent and caring. But we seldom see them. This is because they must respond to non-transit calls. When we ask what these 56 officers do for $10 million per year, TriMet’s response is that it doesn’t audit performance under the contracts. If there is such a financial crisis, does it make sense that taxpayers are paying so much extra for police service we rarely see? nationally, subcontracting is proving to be the more expensive approach. it is being used to reduce the workload of well-paid transit managers and limit their responsibility when things go wrong. We believe the above expenditures deserve more public scrutiny, as do other financial decisions we will talk about in the months to come. an independent inquiry of triMet’s financial decisions is long overdue. Sincerely, Your Transit Workers

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L.A. AS FUCK: Few things are as typically Portlandian as moving to Los Angeles to make it big, so perhaps it should’ve been expected that Ian Karmel, the city’s most visible standup comic, would eventually relocate to the land of development deals and Lakers car flags. Karmel announced on Facebook that he will be departing in early August. “I hate leaving, but KARMEL the tangible opportunities are in New York and L.A.,” Karmel tells Scoop. “It’s the sad truth. It’s the payback for getting to wake up at noon every day.” The Beaverton native follows in the footsteps of Ron Funches, who left for L.A. last year and landed on a new NBC sitcom, Undateable. No word on who will replace Karmel on the last page of The Portland Mercury, on Comcast’s Talkin’ Ball or as the opener for every touring comic performing in Portland. ALMOST R.E.M.: Portland nearly played host to a significant moment in rock history last week, though only a select few would’ve been around to witness it. On June 1, R.E.M. guitarist and part-time Portlander Peter Buck married fiancee Chloe Johnson at Wonder Ballroom. According to the blog Slicing Up Eyeballs, all three of Buck’s R.E.M. former bandmates—including drummer Bill Berry, who retired from the group in 1997 after suffering a brain aneurysm—were in attendance, performing in various combinations at the reception. The foursome avoided taking the stage at the same time. If they had, it would’ve been the first time with the original lineup assembled since the 2007 Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremony. STRUng Up: The Oregon Symphony is in financial trouble— again. After announcing last October that the organization would be canceling its return to Carnegie Hall, cutting administrative positions and reducing staff salaries, the symphony’s musicians have now agreed to waive their annual end-of-season payment (about 2 1/2 weeks of salary). That will save $315,000, still not enough to close the undisclosed budget gap. It’s typical for arts organizations to face budget gaps at the ends of seasons, but violinist Greg Ewer says that does little to lessen the sting. “The writing has been on the wall for a long time,” he says. “The musicians are looking to have a more active role in oversight.” CAKE WAR STORiES: Last week, WW reporters asked two Oregon bakeries who refused to make gay wedding cakes for quotes on cakes to celebrate divorce, pagan holidays and a successful stem-cell project. The story, “Cake Wars,” had more than 100,000 online readers and 600-plus comments. Not everyone was happy. The most eloquent complaint came in an email from Edwin Crowther (ecrow10673@aol.com): “You worthless piece of shit!! Typical rat bastard dumocrat!! Leave those bakery’s alone, dirtbag!! I am a contractor and very PROUDLY refuse service to you faggots!!! FUCK YOU!!!”

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What to do this Week in arts & culture

THURSDAY JUNE 6 pedalpalooza kickoff [bikes] in Portland, it’s always a good time to ride, but never more so than during this annual bonanza of all things bikey. The three-week extravaganza begins today with a parade—get some bling for you and your bike—and a party with music by Federale and Grandparents. Ride begins at 7 pm at Northeast 11th Avenue and Holladay Street. Party is at Branx, 320 SE 2nd Ave., 234-5683. 8:30 pm. Free.

invasion! [THeATeR] The new badass Theatre Company—founded by some of Portland’s top performers—presents its first production, an Obie-winning black comedy by Jonas Hassen khemiri, which begins with a man recounting memories of a Lebanese uncle and spirals into a forceful but unusual meditation on Arab identity, language, racism and immigration. Miracle Theatre, 525 SE Stark St., 358-4660. 8 pm. $15-$20.

EH, SAILOR!

HOW TO SEDUCE A CANADIAN SAILOR IN THIS DEPLETED FLEET WEEK. Today, the national debt standoff finally hits us where we live: boinking sailors. The annual Fleet Week celebrations— the docking of the U.S. Navy with all available Portland orifices—has been devastated by the federal sequester. The Navy has pulled out, as it were, from all shore calls, removing its usual bevy of cruisers and destroyers from the waiting arms of the lovelorn. And so, as in all times of famine, the voracious must resort to foraging for the unwanted and overlooked. Namely, Canadians. Yes, Her Majesty’s Royal Navy arrives this week to deposit its seamen. But they are no simple surrogate: The Canuck is a famously abashed and diffident species, not easily seduced. Fortunately, WW has been able to consult with the one Canadian we know—an Albertan farm boy-turnedlawyer—who offers five tips for achieving international relations. AARON MESH. 1. Insult them a little. “My top suggestion is a two-part question: (A) Is it true that the beaver is Canada’s national bird, and (B) does it actually bite off its own testicles when frightened? Gets things genital-focused right off (beaver

and testicles), and has those aphrodisiac ‘neg’ qualities that the pickup artists are always going on about.” 2. Flatter them a lot. “Memorizing the capital cities of each province and, if you’re feeling really ambitious, the next-largest city from each province is guaranteed to create an immediate sense of intimacy: [Canadians’] expectations of American knowledge about us are so low that we are surprised (and blush with pleasure) whenever we find that any one of you has taken the time to learn that we are something more than VancouverToronto-Montreal + Siberia.” 3. Break the ice with Toronto’s allegedly crack-smoking mayor, Rob Ford, or hot parliamentarian Justin Trudeau. “The Rob Ford thing is, of course, even a bigger deal in Canada than in the U.S., so you can’t fail with that one. Mentioning handsome celebrities is usually selfdefeating when trying to pick up women, but talking about how you’d love to stick it to Justin Trudeau (straight, but twinkish) might be effective on the gay scene.”

4. Build trust through regional loyalty. “Insulting the French will go down well with anyone from Saskatchewan or farther west. And while mentioning politics in any serious way is a bad call when sex is your ultimate goal, commenting on [Prime Minister Stephen] Harper’s disastrous environmental policy and incipient fascism/totalitarianism will convince almost anyone from east of Saskatchewan that your heart’s in the right place.” 5. Tread carefully. These are cordial but dangerous men. “Any Canada-specific conversation starter runs the risk of exciting the Canadian prickliness about crude American stereotyping. So advice along these lines presumes that the swabbies’ intoxication inclines them to fucking rather than fighting—not always a safe assumption (especially if you’re dealing with Newfies).” Go: Fleet Week is at Tom McCall Waterfront Park, Northwest Naito Parkway between the burnside and steel bridges, Wednesday-sunday, June 5-9. The U.s. Coast Guard might also send a ship, but who cares?

Mikal cRonin [MUsiC] On MCII, Ty segall’s touring bassist steps out on his own with an impressive set of splashy rockers, charged ballads and weeping acoustic janglers, and playing almost every instrument himself. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 288-3895. 9 pm. $10 advance, $12 day of show. 21+.

SATURDAY JUNE 8 neveR-nude bike Ride [JORTs] Not everyone likes riding bikes naked. some people never like being naked at all. And others are just big fans of recently revived sitcom Arrested Development. For them, there’s the Never-Nude bike ride, a more modest alternative to all perv-friendly, clothing-optional Pedalpalooza rides. Literally dozens of never-nudes will gather in their jean cutoffs for a 2½-hour ride. Coe Circle, 3900 NE Glisan St., shift2bikes.org. 12:45–3:15 pm. Free. dollY paRTon HooT niGHT [MUsiC] With her rootsy origins, pop savvy and brilliant songwriting, the Mayor of Dollywood is a fitting role model for women’s arts organization siren Nation, which puts together this annual tribute—featuring a diverse array of Portland performers—as a fundraiser for its yearly music and film festival. Alberta Rose Theatre, 3000 NE Alberta St., 719-6055. 9 pm. $10 advance, $12 day of show. Under 21 permitted with legal guardian.

SUNDAY JUNE 9 Milk caRTon boaT Race [bOATs] Despite what the name might bring to mind, this isn’t a race of single milk cartons—participants build their own human-size floats with nothing but milk cartons and jugs. A time-honored Rose Festival tradition, participants compete for trophies in design and racing categories. Westmoreland Park Casting Pond, Southeast McLoughlin and Bybee boulevards, rosefestival.org. 11 am. Free. Willamette Week JUNE 5, 2013 wweek.com

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Pedalpalooza is Portland’s greatest celebration of bike culture. Starting June 6 and continuing through the rest of the month, cyclists will get together to make new friends while taking costumed rides that celebrate old video games, frolf and the much-beloved Idaho stop. Willamette Week’s bike-loving culture section wanted to participate by staging our own ride—but all the wholesome, cute ideas had already been taken. So, instead, we’re leading a public ride to the scenes of some of our most controversial stories of the past year. We will be cycling to the scenes of the squabbles, and we’re inviting along all the people who wrote mean things about us on the Internet in response to opinions they do not share. The ride will start and end on the East Bank Esplanade, near the Vera Katz statue under the Hawthorne Bridge. After the last stop, we’ll stop back under the bridge to deposit our trolls. (Yes, we’re actually doing this.)

NW Johnson St.

LEG 2 From there, we’ll cross the Steel Bridge into the Pearl District, where we’ll stop

1. Hawthorne Bridge 2. Rose Garden 3. Streetcar Bistro & Taproom 4. Salt & Straw 5. Helium Comedy Club

Nait oP

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LEG 1

The “pace car” on the first leg of the ride will be music editor and novice cyclist Matthew Singer, who you may remember from the surprisingly controversial story he wrote about trading his car for a bike for one week. We’ll ride along the Eastbank Esplanade, stopping to look up at the Rose Garden, site of what the longtime Lakers fan and native Southern Californian called “the biggest Blazers game since ’77”—an otherwise meaningless April contest in which Blazers tried and failed to knock the Lakers out of the playoff picture. We’re excited to meet... Dan America: “It was akin to reading a 6th-grader’s story of My Week at Summer Camp, only that the camp story would have had a lot more details to it and probably a lot more exciting. Seriously dude, you didn’t have ANY more details or sights or conversations or ANYTHING better than this to write about or contribute to the article??” kaptinqwin: “Move back to So Cal you fucking douche bag. Love, Everyone in Portland.”

COME ALONG AS CULTURE STAFFERS REVISIT CONTROVERSIAL STORIES FROM THE PAST YEAR.

suicide” by another WW staffer. If the line isn’t way too long, we hope to enjoy a scoop of ice cream made with arugula, IPA and goat blood. We’re excited to meet... Pendy Sixteen: “Lighten up, Cizmar. That came off as just about the pissiest review I’ve ever read. My daughter loves the place, and enjoys the ice cream. They’re a friendly establishment that serves a quality product with great care. Go yell at the kids to get off your lawn.”

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TROLL RIDE 2013

NW Overton

rid

ee St

for a drink at Streetcar Bistro & Taproom, which stage editor Rebecca Jacobson said “recalls an airport bar—the sort of a place you visit out of convenience, boredom and the indiscrimination born of exhaustion.” We’re excited to meet... Deneb Catalan: “This review lacks personality and riddled with pretentiousness. The choice of words and phrasing, sadly, have an undertone of tragity one might see in either a suicide note or just a common Yelp’r adding their two cents. See? Feels kinda crappy to read that right? And I don’t know anything about YOU!”

LEG 3 After a refreshing IPA at Streetcar Bistro & Taproom—and culture editor Martin Cizmar will definitely be drinking an IPA— we’ll ride up Northwest Overton Street to beloved ice cream shop Salt & Straw, which Cizmar panned in a review dubbed “career

LEG 4 From there, we’ll ride back to the east side, crossing the Hawthorne Bridge toward Helium Comedy Club, where intern Brandon Widder attempted to perform at a standup comedy open-mic night in April. Everyone on the ride will help “stack the deck” by putting their name on the list, with the understanding that if any of us is called, Brandon will take our slot and perform. We’re excited to meet... Stephanie: “Hey newbie: Your whole stacking the deck idea at Helium is a dick move. We all have to take our turns getting up there, and you are an asshole for doing that. I’m glad you didn’t get rewarded for such dick behavior. You’re not going to make any friends in the scene acting like that.” RIDE: Willamette Week’s 2013 Troll Ride will begin at 6 pm on Tuesday, June 11. Meet at the Vera Katz statue on the Eastbank Esplanade. No costumes required. For more Pedalpalooza rides, go to shift2bikes.org. Yes, we’re actually doing this. Willamette Week JUNE 5, 2013 wweek.com

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By KAITIE TODD. PRICES: $: Most entrees under $10. $$: $10-$20. $$$: $20-$30. $$$$: Above $30. Editor: MARTIN CIZMAR. Email: dish@wweek.com. See page 3 for submission instructions.

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 5 Portland Food Adventure Dinner

Just a few weeks before its grand opening, new downtown Italian restaurant Grassa opens its doors for an evening of pastamaking. Unlike other Portland Food Adventure events, this one has participants creating their own pasta and sauces in Grassa’s kitchen, led by Lardo chef and Grassa owner Rick Gencarelli. The resulting meal will include several additional courses and will allow for leftovers. Seven Oregon wines will be on tap. Registration required. Grassa, 1205 SW Washington St., portlandfoodadventures.com. 6 pm. $75.

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The Beer Braul is less a taste-off for quality than a test for the dedicated Portland beer connoisseur. Hosted by Hawthorne Hophouse, Fifteenth Avenue Hophouse and the Zythos Project, Beer Braul includes two flights of six beers. Participants drink blind and attempt to identify the beer and brewery. Fifteenth Avenue Hophouse, 1517 NE Brazee St., 971-266-8392. Hawthorne Hophouse, 4111 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 477-9619. $10. 21+.

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The theme of the night is rye at the second annual Rye Beer Festival, and they’re not just talking about the brew. In addition to locally made and one-off rye beers, the festival— a part of Portland Beer Week—will serve up rye whiskey cocktails and food in honor of the grain’s comeback. EastBurn, 1800 E Burnside St., 236-2876. 4 pm. Free entry. 21+.

THE FIELD OF FRUITS Geography is destiny, Napoleon said. The emperor wasn’t talking specifically about booze, but he could have been. Europe is almost evenly split into wine and beer. South of the Alps, where fruit grows better than grain, wine is the fermented beverage of choice. North of the Alps, it’s beer. In a few places, fruit and grains both grow well, and things get weird. Belgium is among them, which is why the beers there can be so like wine— barrel-aged, weird yeasts, blends of different fermentations and, sometimes, with fruit. That’s why you’ll find a lot of Belgian-influenced beers in the lineup for this weekend’s Fruit Beer Festival at Burnside Brewing. And why Portland, between the Hood River fruit loop and the Willamette Valley’s sprawling fields of cereal grains, is the perfect place for America’s only annual fruit beer festival, now in its third year. Judging by the six samples poured at a media preview last Friday, there will be some great one-off beers poured at this festival. If you go, don’t miss Burnside’s rum-barrel-aged creation with blueberries, golden figs, mission figs and dates. And if you can’t make it? Well, Oregon breweries also bottle some very nice fruit beers. Here are four picks to get you started. MARTIN CIZMAR.

PDX Urban Wine Experience Tasting

Huckleberry Hound Alameda Brewing, 4765 NE Fremont St., 460-9025, alamedabrewing.com. $5. In years past, Huckleberry Hound was made from a hoppy IPA base. This year, it’s a biscuity golden ale. Light fruitiness comes through mostly as an aftertaste in this very mild brew.

Beaux Fréres Winemaker Dinner

Ching Ching Bend Brewing, 1019 NW Brooks St., Bend, 541-383-1599, bendbrewingco.com. $8. Built from a sour wheat base, this Berliner weisse was flavored with puréed pomegranate and hibiscus flowers instead of traditional raspberry or woodruff syrup. It’s big, tart and bready.

SUNDAY, JUNE 9 Portland’s urban winemaking scene is booming, as you’ll see at this annual tasting-room tour. Stops include Vincent Wine Cellars and ENSO, where you’ll get to try two or three samples and talk with winemakers. Refuge, 116 SE Yamhill St. 4-7 pm. $40. 21+.

Newberg-based vineyard Beaux Frères teams with Northwest’s Serratto restaurant and bar for a winemaker dinner. The Food and Wine Society of Oregon will be opening magnums of vintage wine from Upper Terrace Vineyard, then comparing it with the 2007 Beaux Frères. Registration required. Serratto, 2112 NW Kearney St., 221-1195. 7 pm. $130. 21+.

TUESDAY, JUNE 11 Omakase With Chef Kaoru Ishii

Hokusei’s chief sushi chef, Kaoru Ishii, serves up six courses of sushi paired with sake at this Portland Food Adventure event. Hokusei, 4246 SE Belmont St., 971-279-2161. 9 pm. $125.

Cerasus Logsdon Farmhouse Ales, Hood River, farmhousebeer.com. $20. The most elaborate and traditional of this bunch, Logsdon’s Cerasus is a sharp Flanders-style red ale that is blended with massive quantities of sweet and tart local cherries and several strains of exotic yeast. It drinks like a wine—and costs as much as a decent bottle, too. Lime Kolsch Burnside Brewing, 701 E Burnside St., 946-8151, burnsidebrewco.com. $5. My favorite Oregon fruit beer of the moment, Burnside’s Lime Kolsch is, yes, a little like an upmarket Bud Light Lime. Lemongrass, kaffir lime leaves, lime pulp and spicy noble hops make for a citrus-forward lager perfect for an extra-warm day. It’s not on the festival’s lineup, but since Burnside is hosting, it’ll be easy to grab one to go. GO: The Portland Fruit Beer Festival is at 701 E Burnside St., portlandfruitbeerfest.com, on Saturday (11 am-9 pm) and Sunday (11 am-6 pm), June 8-9. $20. 21+.

FOOD & DRINK

LEAHNASH.COM

REVIEW

MEAT COLLECTIVE: Lamb four ways at Levant.

A HILL OF BEANS

more like an orchestra of tubas. A monkfish fillet ($23) was adorned with chickpea that badly encouraged the natural mustiness of the fish. The dish was also accompanied by a bewildering piece of tableside theater in which herbed broth was poured across the fillet: One is meant, I suppose, to breathe in the BY M AT T H E W KO R F H AGE mkorfhage@wweek.com first blossom of vapors as the broth flows across the fish. But the overall effect was anticlimax. Levant, chef Scott Snyder’s new Buckman res- The dish was dreary, a shale-sheeted slab of oily taurant in a former bakery, is a staid dining hall fish supporting a lean-to of overcrisped chicken of warm wood, hot brick and neutral walls that cracklings and the aforementioned garbanzos. seem to buff the room’s sound into a soft cushion In what seems more a nod to the theme than of air. to the meal, garbanzo and fava beans are scatThe eatery has invented its own genre: high- tered bizarrely throughout the menu as a bonding end French modernist takes on agent for disparate Mediterthe food of the Sephardic Jewish ranean cuisines. A hailstorm of diaspora—Arabic, African and Order this: Chef Scott Snyder has a green garbanzo badly damaged way with lamb and octopus. Hebrew lands huddled around an otherwise lovely dish of Best deal: The hearty-portioned the Mediterranean Sea. Snyder entrees. marinated octopus ($16) spiced touts his family’s Israeli roots, I’ll pass: Fish ﬁllets have been with orange, fennel, saffron and and an early menu boasted a underwhelming. the earthy, sweet heat of Aleppo dish cooked, charmingly, with pepper. One bite rewards the Manischewitz kosher wine. diner with salty, low, romantic As a pitch, it’s irresistible. Too irresistible, it harmonies playing among tender meat and warm would appear, even for its own chef—the restau- spice, and the next bite jars with firm bean that rant’s ambition and high concept are derailing knocks all intimacy off the tongue. the dishes. A spot prawn crudo ($14) was covered in a To be sure, the menu has some tremendous pickled chili sauce that—in its oiliness, intensity successes. A dish humbly titled “hearth-roasted and slight edge of tartness—resembled stomach lamb, spring vegetable mélange, mint, pre- acid. Atop it was a sorbet made with preserved served lemon lamb jus” ($26) was lamb in full lemon and arak, which kept the citrus unforriotous concert, from rack to loin to tender tunately at bay. Mint leaves were a loitering roast to spiced meatball. Citrus and rich jus bystander. In its components the dish was prawn blended for a depth and acidity a bit like a fine ceviche with a thick accent, but the restaurant’s bourguignon gone beautifully herbal. The meat ambitious deconstruction left only elegant was enthusiastically salted, but this felt less rubble. like excess than indulgence—the coddling of a The beer list is a bit of a redheaded stepchild— loving bubbe. unwanted, unloved—but the cocktail menu, from A simple salad of baby artichoke, garlic vin- a hibiscus- and pineapple-accented “Gin Rummy aigrette and lamb bacon ($10), topped with an #2” ($9) to a terrific Tasvan Delight ($12) that over-easy egg, was similarly a thing of warmth leavened Aquavit and Old Tom Gin with carrot, and comfort, a blend of low, earthy notes that was universally on point. reads a bit like a string orchestra stripped down Levant seems to have the makings of a very to harmonies of bass and cello. It is a rarefied fine place, but it’s too eager to prove a concept. music nearly disorienting in its powerful bari- The restaurant fares best when it aims not to tone richness. John Gorham, at Tasty n Sons and astonish but to comfort. Toro Bravo, works with similar overtones in some EAT: Levant, 2448 E Burnside St., 954-2322, of his more excursionary comfort fare. levantpdx.com. 5-10 pm Tuesday-Saturday. $$$. Unfortunately, at Levant, the dishes occasionally play out a bit less like a cello project and

LEVANT HAS A STRONG PITCH, BATS .350.

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june 5–11 PROFILE

= WW Pick. Highly recommended.

MINISNAP

MUSIC

Prices listed are sometimes for advance ticket sales. At-the-door increases and socalled convenience charges may apply. Event lineups are subject to change after WW’s press deadlines. Editor: MATTHEW SINGER. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, go to wweek.com/ submitevents and follow submission directions. All shows should be submitted two weeks or more in advance of event. Press kits, CDs and especially vinyl can be sent to Music Desk, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Please include show or release date information with all physical mailings. Email: msinger@wweek.com. Fax: 243-1115.

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 5 Bike Thief, De La Warr, Rare Monk

[INDIE ROCK] When listening to Bike Thief’s first EP, Ghost of Providence, you might get a moody, organ-backed, accordion-led number in one song and an unexpected whirl of viola and French horn amid jump-stop drums the next. Essentially, that’s what this fivepiece group creates—swirls of strings, horns, organs and harmonium over basic indie-rock instrumentation that can be both eerie and peaceful. This is all at once exciting and familiar, kind of like old Arcade Fire, or a phone call from a long-lost friend. KAITIE TODD. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., 231-9663. 9 pm. $6. 21+.

THURSDAY, JUNE 6 Joy Kills Sorrow, Jolie Holland

CHLOE RICHARD

[FOLKSY BLUEGRASS] Joy Kills Sorrow doesn’t quite fall in with the bluegrass-tinged arena folk that has invaded the mainstream as of late. While its brand of folksy bluegrass songs occasionally cross the border into pop territory—see the upbeat, mandolin-driven “One More Night”— other tunes feature jazz elements Mumford and Sons and the Lumineers wouldn’t dare touch. Fronted by the warm and soulful vocals of Emma Beaton, the five-piece band, which describes itself as a “modern American string band,” returns to Portland in support of its newest EP, Wide Awake, a six-song continuation of its balanced acoustic sound—plus a cover of the

Postal Service’s “Such Great Heights.” KAITIE TODD. Alberta Rose Theatre, 3000 NE Alberta St., 719-6055. 8 pm. $12 advance, $14 day of show. Under 21 permitted with legal guardian.

Burner Courage, Swim Swam Swum

[INDIE ROCK] What started off as a solo project for Neal Wright in 2005 has since turned into Burner Courage, a local four-piece indie-rock outfit featuring members from Point Juncture, WA and Hats Off. Together, the group crafts slow-moving, simple tunes enlivened by male-female harmonies and touches of keys. Its self-titled album, released earlier this year, is filled with small bursts of reverb-drenched synth that weave easily between Wright’s clear electric guitar and the occasional banjo and trumpet solo. KAITIE TODD. Kelly’s Olympian, 426 SW Washington St., 228-3669. 9 pm. $5. 21+.

Mikal Cronin, Shannon and the Clams, Old Light

[GARAGE POP] If you’re unfamiliar with the name Mikal Cronin, there’s still a possibility you’ve seen him play here in town at some point. He’s spent a lot of time on the road as Ty Segall’s bass player, and he fronted the power-pop group the Moonhearts, which played the annual SMMR BMMR festival two years back. These days, he’s standing out on his own, having recorded almost everything on his new solo disc, MCII, by himself. His approach to music remains sturdy, with splashy rockers sidling up to charged ballads and weeping solo acoustic

TOP FIVE

CONT. on page 37

BY H O LO C EN E STA FF

TOP FIVE SHOWS OF HOLOCENE’S FIRST DECADE Iron and Wine (April 2004) This was such a joyous and encouraging night in our early days. A capacity crowd poured in, packed themselves politely into the room, and fell into a perfect hush for the gorgeous, searing music that came. Thomas Fehlmann (October 2007) Fehlmann is such a dapper, wise soul, and his live set that night was transcendent, slippery “tekno” with perfect hints of pop. Total elation. Justice (October 2007, pictured) As door time approached, it was hard to see how our little place was going to hold this magmatic energy. We could have sold the show out 10 times over. Then Justice tore the room apart, and the crowd lost its collective mind. Expectation and consummation. Simian Mobile Disco (April 2008) The LED light system they had was huge, probably way too big for our main stage room. But to behold it in such a small, white space made the experience that much more electrifying. Janka Nabay & the Bubu Gang (July 2012) Janka is a charismatic vocalist from Sierra Leone who champions a frenetic style of dance music called “Bubu.” This was one of those religious live experiences—an entire crowd joyfully dancing as one and grinning from ear to ear. SEE IT: Holocene’s 10th anniversary celebration, featuring Shy Girls, Magic Mouth, Roman Flugel, Miracles Club and more, is WednesdayThursday, June 5-6. 8:30 pm. Free. 21+. See holocene.org for a complete schedule.

DARKER NIGHTS THIRTY YEARS ON, KIWI CULT LEGENDS THE BATS ARE A GHOST OF THEMSELVES— AND THEY’VE NEVER SOUNDED BETTER. BY R OB eRT HA M

243-2122

When New Zealand’s Flying Nun Records first came to the attention of the international music scene in the 1980s, it was hard to believe such a wealth of talent could exist on one tiny island nation, let alone one label. Seemingly every record it put out at the time scratched some heretoforeunrecognized itch in the souls of the world’s music obsessives, from psych rock to experimental noise to rugged post-punk. Of all the genres Flying Nun trucked in, the one with the vastest, most lasting influence was the so-called “Dunedin Sound.” Named after the hometown of many of its proponents, the style is as easily recognizable as the equally jangly sprouts born in Olympia, Wash., and Glasgow, Scotland, around the same period—glowing, ’60s-influenced guitar tones, unhurried beats, lyrical sincerity— and can still be heard today in the music of younger, critically lauded artists such as Kurt Vile and Real Estate. So timeless is the sound that its creators, too, continue to carry its torch—including one of New Zealand’s most beloved groups, the Bats. The quartet, formed over 30 years ago from the ashes of guitarist-vocalist Robert Scott’s thendefunct (and since resurrected) outfit the Clean, is something of an anomaly in the music world: Its lineup—Scott, bassist Paul Kean, guitarist Kaye Woodward and drummer Malcolm Grant—has remained the same, and its temperate pop sound has shifted only a hair’s breadth over the course of eight albums, seven EPs and a handful of singles. While the actual tone of the band’s songs may not have changed, the way it has recorded certainly has. The Bats have recently had to own up to the sonic quality—or lack thereof—of their earlier work, with the recent reissue of the band’s first EP, 1984’s By Night. “The sound on those isn’t too good,” writes Scott via email. “It’s nice to have the older stuff available, but it sounds very different. But that’s where we

were at the time, so that’s OK.” The Bats sound much clearer on their last album, 2011’s Free All the Monsters. Along with the clarity, a haunted quality has crept into the band’s music. Even Monsters’ punchiest material, such as “In the Subway” and “Spacejunk,” is imbued with ghostliness. It could have something to do with the band members looking back on nearly 60 years of life—or it could be that recording sessions were held in Seacliff Asylum, a former psychiatric hospital now being used as a stop for backpackers. “The history of the asylum definitely seeped into the music,” writes Kean. “Some of the songs like the title track, written before we knew we were recording there, took on new meaning. We did a few late-night jams that took us to some weird places.” One other aspect of the Bats’ career that has shifted over the years is how their music has been received. The band has always done fairly well in its

“WE DID A FEW LATE-NIGHT JAMS THAT TOOK US TO SOME WEIRD PLACES.” —THE BATS’ PAUL KEAN native New Zealand, and had a stretch in the early ’90s where college- and indie-radio stations in the U.S. kept its albums Silverbeet and Couchmaster in heavy rotation. But like most Flying Nun bands, the Bats have had to resign themselves to having “more of a cult following,” as Kean writes. “We’re not doing too badly at home,” he continues, “and we gain a lot of respect from the media, but we never cut through to the mainstream. Translate that percentage of fans from [New Zealand’s] small population of 4.4 million to that of the U.S. or France and you can see a similarity of support.” What is it, then, that has kept the Bats continuing as a group? “Enjoying the music we create has a lot to do with it,” Kean writes. “Bob continues to write great songs, and something special sparks up when we play together.” Scott echoes that sentiment: “We get on well and know each other pretty well, and being older and mature, we work things out. And we have a good laugh together. That always helps.” SEE IT: The Bats play Bunk Bar, 1028 SE Water Ave., with Eat Skull, on Tuesday, June 11. 9 pm. $12. 21+. Willamette Week JUNE 5, 2013 wweek.com

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COURTESY OF SIMMONS

jangle. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 288-3895. 9 pm. $10 advance, $12 day of show. 21+.

MUSIC

Blank Realm, Cool Meiners, Pacific City, Nightlife Visions, Focus Troup, Spencer Clark, DJ Mike McGonigal

[FREAK-SCENE BOOGIE] Left as just a bass, drums and guitar trio, Australia’s Blank Realm would be a fine noise-rock band. But the siblings who make up the core of the group, Daniel, Sarah and Luke Spencer, decided to push it just that much further over the edge with the inclusion of fellow Brisbane musician Luke Walsh, who adds looped noises, keyboard scrapes and an element of chaos to the fray. That extra bit of spice has elevated the band’s many recordings, including Go Easy, its latest release, which leaves just enough breathing room for listeners between deluges of sound. ROBERT HAM. Rotture, 315 SE 3rd Ave., 234-5683. 9 pm. $5. 21+.

FRIDAY, JUNE 7 Anamanaguchi, Chrome Sparks, the Shortsleeves

[AVANT-HOUSE] Jeremy Malvin can’t seem to make up his mind. The Pittsburgh-born musician was raised against a classical backdrop, ultimately spending two years at a Midwest music school. Currently residing in New York, Malvin— formerly a drummer for Miniature Tigers—is operating under the Chrome Sparks moniker, turning out avant-garde house music. A part-time DJ, Malvin has a knack for sampling and lively song structures, giving much of his Chrome Sparks material a catchy, nodalong pulse. Fantasy pop rockers Anamanaguchi—describing themselves as TMNT if the turtles were a boy band (gulp)—headlines. MARK STOCK. Backspace, 115 NW 5th Ave., 248-2900. 7:30 pm. $12 day of show.

Audios Amigos, Don’t, the Cry!

[LO-FI PUNK] Portland’s got no shortage of throwback punk-garage outfits, but few nail the low-fi, devilmay-cry sound as seamlessly as quartet Don’t. Credit that to a lineup that includes members of groups like the Love Lasers, Audios Amigos, the Wipers and Napalm Beach. Traversing a robust musical plane of garage rock, country, spaghetti Western instrumental work and other seemingly divergent styles, the band’s sound mixes the rollicking rowdiness of old-school punk with a touch of Ventures-style surf rock. It’s all held together by guitarist-vocalist Jenny Don’t, whose voice combines the cadence of a lost Ramones sister and Metric’s Emily Haines, punctuating every slick riff with bravado. The group, formed three years ago, is steadily gaining a following by keeping one foot in the past and putting the other one forward. AP KRYZA. Club 21, 2035 NE Glisan St., 235-5690. 9:30 pm. Free. 21+.

Eyelids, Houndstooth, Denim Wedding

[SUPERGROUP] Hey, do you like “the shapeshifting of John Cale”? How about “New Zealand guitar buzz”? “All things beautiful, lopsided and rock”? Yeah, we’re not sure, either. But those idiosyncratic influences, cited by Eyelids on its website, are the only indicators we’ve got of what this new local supergroup will sound like. Made up of—deep breath—the Decemberists’ John Moen, Guided by Voices’ Chris Slusarenko, Sunset Valley’s Jonathan Drews, Jim Talstra of the Dharma Bums, and Paulie Pulvirenti from the Deep Fried Boogie Band, Eyelids is currently recording its debut record with big-name Portland producer Adam Selzer. Tonight’s show offers a sneak peek of the band’s material, and a chance to see everlovely opener Houndstooth, which is

CONT. on page 39

JEFF HYLTON SIMMONS, XRAY FEST Jeff Hylton Simmons can see the finish line. Seven years ago, the 37-year-old Midwest transplant, sound engineer and broadcaster hatched the idea for a free-form, Portland-inspired terrestrial radio station. In September, 91.1 KXRY—or XRAY.fm—is slated to debut on your local dial. All that’s left is to find a studio to operate out of and a spot to position the station’s low-wattage transmitter. But XRAY Fest, a nine-day “virtual tour through the history of Portland music” featuring concerts, DJ sets and film screenings themed around the city’s legendary music venues, isn’t just about raising the funds needed to make those things happen. “It’s really about awareness,” Simmons says. “The festival is more of an introduction. More than a final or a last thing, it’s a first thing.” Willamette Week spoke with Simmons and Jenny Logan, president of the Cascade Educational Broadcast Service, the nonprofit organization shepherding XRAY.fm into existence, about what to expect when the station launches in the fall. MATTHEW SINGER. WW: Summarize XRAY’s mission statement. Jenny Logan: The consensus—among the board members, at least—is that we want to curate the best of Portland culture. Not just be a straightforward reflection of what is happening in town, but pick out the best of what is happening and be able to broadcast that to everyone. Jeff Hylton Simmons: It’s like if the same group of people who started KBOO back in the ’60s did it in 2013. We think we need this. Why does Portland need this? Simmons: The short answer is, because it feels like, to me, even being here since 1998, it’s going through a lot of growing pains. It’s spinning out of control in a cultural way. There’s so much immigration, so many new people getting involved, so many people who think they know what the town’s like because of a television show. That’s why I think it’s necessary. You used the word “curate,” which suggests this is one particular vision of Portland. Isn’t there a danger in that, of marginalizing certain local music cultures? Logan: The protection against that is being inclusive and being open in the community [and] getting people who know about music that we don’t know about involved in the station. I think XRAY Fest is a way of getting attention from people who might say, “I want a piece of this station because it’s not representing the Portland I know.” How will you know XRAY is a success? Simmons: I’ve listened to a sickening amount of horrible radio— radio that actually makes culture worse, with DJs who aren’t playing music, talking about celebrity gossip to send you to their website so they can sell ads. That’s all I hear, flooded in the entire market. To me, a measure of success is to drive down the I-5 and hear four good songs in a row. SEE IT: XRAY Fest is June 8-16 at multiple locations. See xrayfest.org for a complete schedule.

Willamette Week JUNE 5, 2013 wweek.com

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With two beautiful campuses near Santa Barbara, Pacifica is an accredited graduate school offering masters and doctoral degrees in psychology, the humanities, and mythological studies. Also attend a Complimentary Salon on Friday, July 19, 7:00–8:30pm

“Joseph Campbell on the Mysteries of the Great Goddess” THE $60 REGISTRATION FEE INCLUDES BREAKFAST, LUNCH, AND A $25 GIFT CERTIFICATE FOR THE PACIFICA BOOKSTORE. REGISTER FOR THE JULY 20 PACIFICA EXPERIENCE AT

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eyes See Portla nd throug h the n. of loca l musi c’s b ig gest fa

Every Friday on

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friday PROFILE

COURTESY OF DANNY DIANA-PEEBLES

putting out a new album of its own in July. JONATHAN FROCHTZWAJG. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., 231-9663. 9 pm. $6. 21+.

MUSIC

Freak Mountain Ramblers, Bingo and Friends, Lewi Longmire, Fernando, Little Sue, Dan Haley, Tree Frogs

[LOCAL HERO AID] Performing as a founding member of the beloved Freak Mountain Ramblers, with various friends or under his own name, rock-’n’-roll true believer Jim Boyer has employed his happy-golucky and sometimes soul-baring style to charm and move Portland audiences for decades. Now, following a shoulder injury requiring emergency surgery and a resulting infection requiring intensive in-home care, Boyer is in need of some help from those longtime fans. One of a handful of benefits convened for the singer, tonight’s show features Boyer’s fellow Freaks and a bevy of other long-serving Portland roots rockers. JEFF ROSENBERG. LaurelThirst, 2958 NE Glisan St., 232-1504. 9 pm. $10-$20 sliding scale. 21+.

Ooooo, Groundislava, Bruxa

[WITCH…WAIT] For those who had the genre plastered all over their blogs, Facebook walls and Soundclouds throughout 2010, classifying a band as “witch house” has become a black mark. The truth is, witch house fell so quickly in and out of favor because, like the harder side of dubstep, witch house strikes the ear strongly but with limited potential for growth. Dark, chopped-and-screwed beats and pitch-shifted vocals can only go so far. Ooooo, one of witch house’s critical darlings, has thankfully abandoned many parts of the original formula. Nowadays, the beat never skips, voices sing in their natural ranges and bass synths are fuzzed out. Ooooo is dark dub techno and house, and enchanting in its own way. MITCH LILLIE. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 288-3895. 9 pm. $12. 21+.

Ryan Bingham, Wild Feathers

[AMPED COUNTRY] Thin Lizzy’s “Cowboy Song” may be the obvious choice for the one tune that encapsulates Ryan Bingham’s rope-toting Western roots, but Gene Autry’s “Back in the Saddle Again” seems more fitting, given Bingham’s latest release, Tomorrowland. After a couple years of high praise— most notably for the excellent 2010 album, Junky Star, and his Oscar-winning contributions to the film Crazy Heart—the West Texan roughrider-turned-songwriter parted ways with his former Dead Horses brethren and label, choosing to self-release his latest effort. His sentimental tropes are still intact despite the ballsier, countrified nature of Tomorrowland, but his gravel-hewn vocals and bruising electric guitar sound anything but weary. BRANDON WIDDER. Roseland Theater, 8 NW 6th Ave., 224-2038. 8 pm. $20. 21+.

Luz Elena, Star Anna, Sara Jackson-Holman

[PIANO POP] The quirky piano-rock thing has been done to death, so pianist-songwriter Sara JacksonHolman is content to take things in more of a pop direction by way of hip-hop, while tossing in a dash of sass and surprise along the way. It’s not every day someone dares to give you a hip-hop-flavored track that derives its base from “Für Elise.” That takes some serious balls. Jackson-Holman’s soulful singing is reminiscent of a less-smoky ZZ Ward, and that ain’t a bad thing. BRIAN PALMER. The Analog, 720 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 432-8079. 7 pm. Call venue for ticket information. All ages.

CONT. on page 41

FUTRO RECORDS SUNDAY, JUNE 9 Electro hip-hop party jams thicker than blood.

[FAMILY PARTY] For some of the residents of Southeast’s Washington Towers, the drab apartment complex down the street from Lone Fir Pioneer Cemetery has another name: Futro Towers. That’s because many members of the music and multimedia collective Futro Records have posted there, whether to live, practice or party. And what parties they are. “If you go to a Dual Mode show, these motherfuckers are in their underwear,” says Futro producer and MC Winston Lane, referring to his party-rap labelmates. That inspires the rest of the crew— seated around electronic beatmaker HAR-1’s apartment—to rattle off anecdotes involving frozen pizza, video games and all-night throwdowns. The party is what unites this stable of 18 rappers, electro-house producers, artists and self-described “nerds.” When they all get together in the same place, the vibe is equal parts rager and family barbecue. The godfather is Danny Diana-Peebles, the smiling, rhyming half of the duo Serious Business. He, along with rappermusicians Lane and Ripley Snell, founded Futro in 2011, with the concept of creating a superhero-esque stable of artists, each with a special ability. “I’ve always liked TV shows like Voltron or X-Men,” Diana-Peebles says. “I loved the idea of a crew of people who have their own unique skills, but they all fight for the same cause.” Initially, the collective was headquartered at the Portland Radio Authority, an Internet radio station then located downtown above Kelly’s Olympian. “We had a late-night DJ slot, and people used to come and kick it,” Diana-Peebles says. “Hence the ‘Kick It Club.’ Basically that’s where we’ve practiced rapping for the past four years.” Rapping is what Futro specializes in, though the group aims to maintain a balance between hip-hop and electronic music. “We can all feed off each others’ creativity to make sure that we stay individuals,” says rapper Das Leune. “Everyone has their own niche and market and character.” Character is certainly not something lacking on the Futro roster. From Dual Mode’s ass-clapping nerd-party jams to Neill Von Tally’s spacey, tape-based instrumental beats to Lane and Das Leune’s gangsta self-reflection, the Futro aesthetic is all over the map. That idiosyncratic approach is also reflected in its use of technology: For Futro Kit 1.0, the label’s first compilation, released on a 1-gigabyte USB card, eight of the tracks are accompanied by Videothing, a software tool for Mac that “slices, melts and beats up a video of your choice,” according to its creator, Alex Boyce. Futro Kit 2.0 is set for release during a typically wild and multifaceted week: On Thursday, June 6, the crew is conducting an art show at SoHiTek Gallery, promoting its first zine. The official album-release party is June 9 at Holocene, featuring performances from the entire group, as well as from many “Futro friends.” The new comp includes Boyce’s latest invention, Audiothing, allowing for all sorts of chopping and screwing, along with videos and other “visual arts/secrets.” Consider it a futuristic family photo album from Futro’s nonstop vacation. MITCH LILLIE. SEE IT: The Futro Kit 2.0 release party is at Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison St., 239-7639, with Dual Mode, Sexbots, Futro Fam, HAR-1 and Rap Class, on Sunday, June 9. 9 pm. Free. 21+.

Willamette Week JUNE 5, 2013 wweek.com

saturday

SATURDAY, JUNE 8 Fruition

[BLUEGRASS FoLK] Whether the band is playing laid-back Americana or blitzing through a dizzying bluegrass number, there is something mesmerizing about Fruition. Imagine a slightly countrified version of Brandi carlile being backed up by a cross between nickel creek and the Infamous Stringdusters. the music is great fun one minute, stirring and almost romantic the next, and while it isn’t groundbreaking, it makes for one hell of a roller-coaster ride, as odd as that might sound in reference to an Americana-bluegrass-folk band. BRIAn PALMER. Aladdin Theater, 3017 SE Milwaukie Ave., 2349694. 9 pm. $12 advance, $15 day of show. Under 21 permitted with legal guardian.

Dolly Parton Hoot Night: Alela Diane, Shelley Short, Ashleigh Flynn, Star Anna, Ruby Feathers, Rachael Rice, Darka Dusty, Brownish Black, Copper & Coal, Naomi LaViolette, Megan Spear

[FEStIVAL FUnDRAISER] this november, the seventh annual Siren nation festival will fill Portland stages with its usual array of talented women, but tonight marks the eighth occurrence of the original Siren nation event, an annual tribute to music-biz trailblazer Dolly Parton. With her rootsy origins, pop savvy, brilliant songwriting and refreshingly unobnoxious celebrity persona, Parton is a fitting role model for the creative-powerhouse organization— though they’ll hopefully spare us a Portland equivalent of Dollywood.

MUSIC

the universality of Parton’s music will be demonstrated tonight by those emulating classic R&B and country—such as Brownish Black and the sweetly harmonizing copper & coal, respectively— as well as an array of folkies and rockers, including leading local ladies like Alela Diane and Ashleigh Flynn. JEFF RoSEnBERG. Alberta Rose Theatre, 3000 NE Alberta St., 719-6055. 9 pm. $10 advance, $12 day of show. Under 21 permitted with legal guardian.

Bear & Moose, Old Age, A Happy Death, The We Shared Milk

[AnIMAL coLLEctIVE] With 24 full-throttle tracks on their fulllength debut, Eric Mueller and Simon Lucas probably had no trouble whipping up new material for their forthcoming album, Inside the Eyewall. the duo, known collectively as Bear & Moose, produces straight-up, no-frills garage rock that splices together some of the best elements of heavy pop, crunchy blues and swelling psychedelic riffs that sound far bigger than the band actually is. the latest single from the album, “Go Away,” condenses Mueller’s scuzzy chords and Lucas’ powerdrive drumming down to the twominute mark while slightly evoking the dirty craftsmanship of early Kings of Leon—and, in case you’re wondering, that’s a compliment. BRAnDon WIDDER. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., 2319663. 9 pm. $10. 21+.

Ceremony, Survival Knife

[EVoLVED HARDcoRE] You can take the hardcore out of the band, but you can’t take the band out of the hardcore. ceremony started out

cont. on page 43

CONFLICT BY M AttH E W SI nGER METHOD MAN VS. CAPPADONNA The conflict: Two members of hip-hop’s greatest dynasty, the Wu-Tang Clan, are coming to Portland, vying for your hardearned dolla, dolla bills, y’all, on two successive nights. Times are tight. Who deserves your skrilla more? The breakdown: If this were a game in the first round of March Madness, it’d be the University of Kentucky Wildcats against the UC Santa Cruz Banana Slugs. Method Man is, arguably, Wu-Tang’s No. 1 seed, a rugged rhymer so charismatic and telegenic your mother recognizes him and thinks he’s charming. Cappadonna is at the very bottom of the hierarchy, and not even the collective’s most ardent acolytes will argue with that fact. Heck, it’s never been clear whether he’s even an official member of the crew or a hanger-on brought in to record a verse when someone else calls in sick. Throw in Redman, Meth’s partner in crime (and sitcoms), and it’s not a fair fight. That’s how it’s always been for poor Cap. He actually predated many of the franchise’s more recognizable figures, rhyming in a primordial version of the group before serving an unfortunately timed stint in jail and getting replaced—by Method Man. He didn’t contribute significantly to a full Wu-Tang album until 2000’s The W, and has mostly been a punch line among fans. Then again, while Meth and Red’s first collaborative album, 1999’s Blackout!, is considered a minor classic, it took them nine years to record a follow-up, both spending much of the past decade acting. Meanwhile, Cap has stayed on the grind, dropping his seventh solo effort, Earth, Wynd and Fyre, in February. The resolution: On the surface, this is an easy choice. But Meth and Red are fat on Hollywood money. Cappadonna is still hungry, figuratively and, possibly, literally. Aside from the more affordable ticket price, he deserves your attention for once. Plus, if he doesn’t raise enough gas money here to get home, he might need to crash on your couch. SEE IT: cappadonna plays Alhambra theatre, 4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd., on Saturday, June 8. 8 pm. $15 advance, $20 day of show. 21+. Method Man & Redman play crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside St., with Serge Severe and DJ Wels, on Sunday, June 9. 8 pm. $32 advance, $35 day of show. All ages. Willamette Week JUNE 5, 2013 wweek.com

Willamette Week JUNE 5, 2013 wweek.com

SATURDAY–TUESDAY

MUSIC

DOMINIC NIETZ

MONDAY, JUNE 10 Free Energy, Battleme

’70S AND LOVING IT: Free Energy plays Doug Fir Lounge on Monday, June 10. in the mid-2000s playing spazzy, aggro punk with little to discern it from the other spazzy, aggro-punk bands found in its Bay Area hometown and, well, everywhere else in America. Then, with little warning, on last year’s Zoo, the group began folding heavy dollops of moody, British-style post-punk into its angry milieu. Normally, the shortsighted hardcore community would turn its back on such an evolution, but Ceremony has kept one steeltoed boot planted in that scene by keeping its live shows every bit as spazzy and aggro as they were originally. Only now, they’re much more interesting. MATTHEW SINGER. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., 231-9663. 5 pm. $10. All ages.

Alkaline Trio, Bayside, Off With Their Heads

[WARPED TOUR LEGACY ACT] Aging gracefully as a pop-punk band is not easy. Your choices are typically (A) mature and deaden the youthful energy that sustained your early career, or (B) stay exactly the same and risk looking like the pathetic old guy with the earring, desperately clinging to said youthful energy. Luckily for Alkaline Trio, the band has always been a few steps ahead of its peers, with a songwriting core set in the more complex emotional depths of Bruce Springsteen and Elvis Costello. Its latest studio album, My Shame Is True—a pun so great Costello is probably kicking himself for not thinking of it in 1977—has all the “whoa-ohoh” choruses and burning desire of the nine albums that preceded it, but played with the conﬁdence and experience of musicians now 16 years into their career. Kids these days might not totally get it, but fuck kids these days, right? MATTHEW SINGER. Hawthorne Theatre, 1507 SE 39th Ave., 2337100. 8 pm. $22 advance, $25 day of show. All ages.

Love Gigantic, Majestic Space Dragon, Naomi Hooley

[ROCK] Newly minted outfit Love Gigantic packs an impressive roster of local talent backing poised and supple singer Sarah King: guitarists Chet Lyster, who’s toured and recorded with Lucinda Williams and Eels, and David Langenes, whose fleet fingers help drive the Stolen Sweets and Pete Krebs’ Portland Playboys; sturdy bassist Arthur Parker; powerful drummer Joe Mengis; and prolific harmony singer and keyboardist Lara Michell. The three tunes on debut EP Introducing Love Gigantic reveal a radio-ready band and singer at ease transitioning between nimble folk rock and weightier electric soundscapes. JEFF ROSENBERG. Star Theater, 13 NW 6th Ave. 9 pm. $10. 21+.

SUNDAY, JUNE 9 Small Black, Heavenly Beat

[DIMMED GLO-FI] Brooklyn’s Small Black was an also-ran in the great chillwave sweepstakes of 2010,

overshadowed by the hype surrounding similarly minded lo-ﬁ electrolytes. In the last three years, many of those other acts grew up and left their bedrooms, and for its long-gestating second album, Limits of Desire, so too has Small Black. That doesn’t mean the band has improved, mind you. In fact, the glaze of haze smeared across the group’s introductory EP suited its cloudy dance pop much better than the crystal-clear ’80s production of its latest release, which reveals the band is really just a more rhythmic xx, yet somehow more boring. MATTHEW SINGER. Bunk Bar, 1028 SE Water Ave., 894-9708. 9 pm. $12 advance, $14 day of show. 21+.

Uncle Tupelo Tribute Night: Coffee Creek Collective, Hook and Anchor, Mbilly, Lewi Longmire, Nate Wallace

[TRIBUTE] Before Wilco and Son Volt, there was Uncle Tupelo, a short-lived band out of Illinois that left a lasting imprint on the world of alt-country before ever achieving mainstream success. The band, featuring songwriters Jeﬀ Tweedy and Jay Farrar, combined elements of down-home traditional country and blistering, distorted punk before disbanding in the mid’90s due to the frontmen’s soured relationship. For whatever reason, our local star-studded Americana players have decided to celebrate the band’s binge-drinking, downtrodden tales of despair and working-class hardship. Hopefully, the bands will leave Tupelo’s historical turmoil at the door. BRANDON WIDDER. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 288-3895. 9 pm. $5. 21+.

Shaggy, Carly Rae Jepsen, Sean Kingston, Chris Wallace, DJ Pauly D, MKTO, Jay Sean, Wallpaper, Stefano

[BOOMBASTIC AND BUST] Summer jams, lord knows, aren’t meant to last, but has it really been a year since “Call Me Maybe” entered our lives? We just met Carly Rae Jepsen and shouldn’t so quickly consign her to the realm of one-hit wonders, but, well, she’s keeping dangerous company: Sean Kingston’s star has been falling ever since an ill-conceived Justin Bieber collaboration, and the thickvoiced, reggae-tinged cartoon carnality of Shaggy hasn’t troubled the charts for a decade. And about Jersey Shore veteran DJ Pauly D, the geek within this sideshow of faded luminaries, we’ll say nothing more. Only in this rarefied milieu would a 27-year-old chanteuse be considered long in the tooth, but we demand pop acts remain popular, extraordinarily so, or suffer the ridicule of fair-weather fans. Must performers of such uncommon flair beat their mics into plowshares and disappear once knocked from the top? That is crazy. JAY HORTON. Tom McCall Waterfront Park, Southwest Naito Parkway between Southwest Harrison and Northwest Glisan streets, Portland. 3 pm. $30-$38. All ages.

[POWER POP] On its Facebook page, Free Energy claims to have been born in 1979. Though none of the band members look anywhere near 34, that year sounds about right. This Philadelphia combo takes a page—more than one, actually— from the playbooks of ’70s groups such as T. Rex and Cheap Trick to craft guitar-driven power pop built for the arena. After recording its debut with LCD Soundsystem’s James Murphy, Free Energy switched to star producer John Agnello for its slicker follow-up, Love Sign, released earlier this year. Regardless of who’s helming the sound board, the band’s humongous riﬀs, explosive percussion (plenty of cowbell here) and scream-along hooks continue to be, however self-aware, a little embarrassing—and a lot of fun. JONATHAN FROCHTZWAJG. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., 231-9663. 9 pm. $10 advance, $12 day of show. 21+.

win tickets to

June 8-9 th @ Burnside Brewing! Go to wweek.com/promotions

Pharoahe Monch, Gray Matters, Bad Habitat, Destro

[PROTO-CRUNK] “Simon Says,” the 1999 single that introduced mainstream rap fans to New York MC and Organized Konfusion member Pharoahe Monch, is up there with “Ante Up” and the entire Waka Flocka discography as one of the best hip-hop tracks to bust heads to. Fourteen years later, a DJ can drop that shit in the middle of a Southern crunk mix, and that massive Godzilla sample, with Monch commanding you to “get the fuck up,” will still cause any crowd to start throwing ’bows, chairs, dropkicks, whatever. If Monch never recorded another track, that song is weighty enough to carry his legacy for the next decade. And it basically has: 2011’s W.A.R. (We Are Renegades) is only his third album since Internal Aﬀairs, the record that birthed “Simon Says.” MATTHEW SINGER. Hawthorne Theatre, 1507 SE 39th Ave., 233-7100. 8 pm. $15 advance, $18 day of show. All ages.

TUESDAY, JUNE 11 Generationals, Young Empires

[THE INDIE-EST ROCK] It’s been almost eight years since Katrina, and I still find myself rooting for all things New Orleans. Glimmering indie-rock outfit Generationals plays past the bias, spilling pretty riffs served alongside a reasonable amount of electronic instrumentation. It’s breezy, coastal and fun—Vampire Weekend minus the boat shoes, or Dale Earnhardt Jr. Jr. removed from the landlocked heartland. With Heza, the group’s core of Ted Joyner and Grant Widmer has truly arrived, producing an LP teeming with textured pop rock that’s as clean and carefree as it is captivating. MARK STOCK. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., 2319663. 9 pm. $10 advance, $12 day of show. 21+.

Fellwoods, Satan’s Satyrs, Crag Dweller

[BIKER METAL] Satan’s Satyrs is a scuzz-rock trio from the small town of Herndon, Va.—exactly the sort of town where wild ones and rebels without causes tend to come from. Founding member Claythanus was only 16 when he started the band in 2009. His fascination with ’60s biker ﬂicks, the aggression of Black Flag and the fuzzed-out onslaught of Electric Wizard all coalesce into one swirling aural assault. Underground buzz helped him build a solid trio— which just played the infamous Roadburn festival in Holland—and now the group will grace Portland’s dirtiest punk nook in perfect company. NATHAN CARSON. The Know, 2026 NE Alberta St., 4738729. 8 pm. $5. 21+.

Willamette Week JUNE 5, 2013 wweek.com

5 DAY

VINYL SALE! JUNE 5TH - 9TH ALL NEW & USED VINYL

20% OFF *NOT GOOD ON SALE PRODUCT OR WITH OTHER OFFERS

UPCOMING IN-STORES & PERFORMANCES

B ETH HART FRIDAY, 6/7 @ 6 PM

Only Oregon performance! When she sings, clocks stop, hearts dance, and neck-hair tingles, it’s that compelling.

BEAR & MOOSE

SATURDAY, 6/8 @ 3PM ‘Inside The Eyewall’captures the massive squall of sound created by Portland duo Bear & Moose. This album has a garage rock sensibility with psychedelic overtones and Krautrock influences.

ARMED W ITH LEGS SATURDAY, 6/12 @ 6 PM

Heavy bass lines wrap themselves into surprising syncopations from the drum kit, while guitars and organs chirp and growl through breathy vocals speckled with wry and sardonic lyrics. Make it dance—make it awesome…that’s the only rule they have.

Willamette Week JUNE 5, 2013 wweek.com

MUSIC CALENDAR

[JUNE 5-11] Backspace

= WW Pick. Highly recommended. Editor: Mitch Lillie. TO HAVE YOUR EVENT LISTED, send show information at least two weeks in advance on the web at wweek.com/submitevents or (if you book a specific venue) enter your events at dbmonkey. com/wweek. Press kits, CDs and especially vinyl can be sent to Music Desk, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Please include show or release date information with all physical mailings. Email: music@wweek.com. For more listings, check out wweek.com.

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Mikal Cronin, Shannon and the Clams, Old Light

Buffalo Gap eatery and Saloon

Mount Hood Community College

6835 SW Macadam Ave. Whim Grace

Bunk Bar DENEE PETRACEK

1028 SE Water Ave. Sera Cahoone, Adam Shearer

Camellia Lounge

510 NW 11th Ave. The Ryan Wolfe Group

Camellia Lounge

510 NW 11th Ave. The Ryan Wolfe Group

2845 SE Stark St. Space Owl (Grateful Dead tribute)

Hawthorne Theatre Lounge

1503 SE Cesar E. Chavez Blvd. Rat Party, Sleeptalker, Spanish Galleons

Hawthorne Theatre 1507 SE 39th Ave. Don Carlos, Outpost

Holocene

Andina

1314 NW Glisan St. Jason Okamoto

Ash Street Saloon

225 SW Ash St. Cunning Wolves, Walter Rockwell

doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St. Bike Thief, De La Warr, Rare Monk

duff’s Garage

1635 SE 7th Ave. Suburban Slim’s Blues Jam

east end

203 SE Grand Ave. Slow Screams, Vasas, Jai

eastBurn

1800 E Burnside St. Na Rosai

Goodfoot Lounge

2845 SE Stark St. Redray Frazier, Unsafe Dartz

Hawthorne Theatre Lounge

1503 SE Cesar E. Chavez Blvd. Jeffery Trapp

Holocene

1001 SE Morrison St. Shy Girls, Magic Mouth, Minden, Adventurous Sleeping, DJ Zack, DJ Maxx Bass, DJ E*Rock, DJ Safi, Four Eels

1435 NW Flanders St. Rebecca Kilgore, Dave Frishberg

Jack London Bar

529 SW 4th Ave. Proper Movement Drums and Bass

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave. Torrey Newhart

Kenton Club

2025 N Kilpatrick St. Mr. Frederick, Memory Boys

Landmark Saloon

4847 SE Division St. Jake Ray, Bob Shoemaker

LaurelThirst

2958 NE Glisan St. Laura Meyer, The Fall To Pieces, Ezza Rose

Lents Commons

9201 SE Foster Road Open Mic

Lola’s Room at the Crystal Ballroom

1332 W Burnside St. Alexander Tragedy, Violet Isle, Matt Brown & the Connection

Main Street

Main Street, between Broadway and Park Avenue Fairwater Brass Quintet

McMenamins edgefield 2126 SW Halsey St., Troutdale Henry Hill Kammerer

Mississippi Pizza

3552 N Mississippi Ave. I Like Your New Haircut, Honky Tonk Prison

Red and Black Cafe 400 SE 12th Ave. King Elephant

Rock Bottom Restaurant & Brewery 206 SW Morrison St. Adam East

Shaker and Vine

2929 SE Powell Blvd. Ryan Lopez

Tonic Lounge

3100 NE Sandy Blvd. Do You Remember Rock ‘n’ Roll? Radio Show: Pat Kearns

Trail’s end Saloon

Jack London Bar

1320 Main St., Oregon City Danny O’Brien and Ken Brewer

White eagle Saloon

Suki’s Bar & Grill

White Owl Social Club

The Blue diamond

Wilfs Restaurant & Bar

2401 SW 4th Ave. Kent Smith

2016 NE Sandy Blvd. The Fenix Project

The Blue Monk

3341 SE Belmont St. Arabesque Bellydance

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St. Brothers of the Last Watch, Hong Kong Banana

The Secret Society Ballroom 116 NE Russell St. Portland Youth Jazz Orchestra

Thirsty Lion

71 SW 2nd Ave. Jordan Harris

Thorne Lounge

4260 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Musician’s Open Mic

Tiga

1465 NE Prescott St.

Ivories Jazz Lounge and Restaurant

1435 NW Flanders St. Tom Grant Vocal Showcase, David Cooley, Mia Nicholson

Slabtown

1033 NW 16th Ave. Shocktroopers, the Numbats, Putts

1001 SE Morrison St. Roman Flugel, Miracles Club, Gulls, Golden Retriever, DJ Beyondadoubt, DJ Nathan Detroit, Community Library DJs, E*Rock

3728 NE Sandy Blvd. Malea & the Tourists

Tony Starlight’s

836 N Russell St. Rob Johnston, New Solution, Naked Soul

1305 SE 8th Ave. Atriarch, Two Ton Boa

800 NW 6th Ave. Ron Steen Band, Reann Pehit

Alberta Rose Theatre

3000 NE Alberta St. Joy Kills Sorrow, Jolie Holland

Andina

1314 NW Glisan St. Sonasi

Andrea’s Cha Cha Club 832 SE Grand Ave. Pilon D’Azucar Salsa Band

Ash Street Saloon

225 SW Ash St. Poe and Monroe, The Want Ads, A Little Volcano

8 NE Killingsworth St. Ethos Rock Band

206 SW Morrison St. Jacob Merlin & Malia

Rotture

315 SE 3rd Ave. Blank Realm, Cool Meiners, Pacific City, Nightlife Visions, Focus Troup, Spencer Clark, DJ Mike McGonigal

Sellwood Public House 8132 SE 13th Ave. Open Mic

Shaker and Vine

2929 SE Powell Blvd. Steve Hall Quintet

Slabtown

1033 NW 16th Ave. DJ Crybaby, Minty Rosa, Gin & Tillyanna, The Cool Whips

The Blue diamond

2016 NE Sandy Blvd. Ben Jones

The Secret Society Ballroom 116 NE Russell St. Alex Milsted

The TARdIS Room

1218 N Killingsworth St. Betacrack, Arago’s Wheel

Thirsty Lion

71 SW 2nd Ave. Sawtell

Tiger Bar

317 NW Broadway Karaoke From Hell

Tony Starlight’s

529 SW 4th Ave. Affable Gentlemen Storytelling

3728 NE Sandy Blvd. All-Star Horns

Jimmy Mak’s

1320 Main St., Oregon City Danny & Ken’s Blues Therapy, LaRhonda Steele

221 NW 10th Ave. The Mel Brown B3 Group

Kelly’s Olympian

426 SW Washington St. Burner Courage, Swim Swam Swum, Excuses

Kenton Club

2025 N Kilpatrick St. Bison Bison, Crag Dweller, Holy Grove, Mammoth Salmon

Landmark Saloon

THuRS. June 6

5474 NE Sandy Blvd. Muthaship

dante’s

350 W Burnside St. My Life In Black & White, Youthbitch

deVille Public House

Rock Bottom Restaurant & Brewery

Goodfoot Lounge

3000 NE Alberta St. World Mandolin Concert: Carlo Aonzo, Brian Oberlin, Don Stiernberg, Radim Zenkl

Clyde’s Prime Rib

doug Fir Lounge

203 SE Grand Ave. Pitchfork Motorway, The Food, The Good Sons

Alberta Rose Theatre

Peter’s Room

2035 NE Glisan St. Audios Amigos, Don’t, the Cry!

830 E Burnside St. Eyelids, Houndstooth, Denim Wedding

east end

Bill Portland

2527 NE Alberta St. Terry Robb

Club 21

Record Room

1635 SE 7th Ave. The Fat Tones

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Hausu, Campfires, Industrial Park

Original Halibut’s II

510 NW 11th Ave. Jeff Baker Quintet

dante’s

duff’s Garage

Mississippi Studios

8105 SE 7th Ave. Sleepy Eyed Johns

Camellia Lounge

2205 N Killingsworth Sky in the Road

830 E Burnside St. Cabin Project, Finn Riggins, Genders

Ivories Jazz Lounge and Restaurant

Muddy Rudder Public House

6000 NE Glisan St. Manimalhouse

8 NW 6th Ave. Logic, Skizzy Mars, Quest, C Dot Castro

350 W Burnside St. Doo Doo Funk All-Stars

Wed. June 5

26000 SE Stark St., Gresham Mount Hood Community College ensembles

Biddy McGraw’s

Chapel Pub

430 N Killingsworth St. Steve Kerin

PRACTICe RuMInATIOnS: Mikal Cronin plays Mississippi Studios on Thursday, June 6.

Mississippi Studios

115 NW 5th Ave. Corey Smith, Justin Dawes

4847 SE Division St. Ruby Feathers

Langano Lounge

Trail’s end Saloon

Vie de Boheme 1530 SE 7th Ave. Loose Change

Wilfs Restaurant & Bar 800 NW 6th Ave. Mike and Haley Horsfall

FRI. June 7 Alberta Rose Theatre 3000 NE Alberta St. Misty River

1435 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Jeremy Lee Faulkner, Sedan, The Ocean Floor

Andina

LaurelThirst

Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall

2958 NE Glisan St. Samsel and the Skirt, Dearborn, Jacob Westfall, Lewi Longmire & the Left Coast Roasters

McMenamins’ Kennedy School 5736 NE 33rd Ave. The Honeycutters

Mississippi Pizza

3552 N Mississippi Ave. McDougall

1314 NW Glisan St. JB Butler Trio

1037 SW Broadway Michael Jackson HIStory II: Kenny Wizz

Ash Street Saloon

225 SW Ash St. Diesto, Drunk Dad, Rohit, Redneck

Backspace

115 NW 5th Ave. Anamanaguchi, Chrome Sparks, the Shortsleeves

doug Fir Lounge

duff’s Garage

1635 SE 7th Ave. Sultans of Slide

east end

203 SE Grand Ave. Monica Nelson and the Highgates, the Exacerbations

east end

203 SE Grand Ave. Monica Nelson and The Highgates, The Exacerbators

eastBurn

1800 E Burnside St. Giraffe Dodgers

Ford Food and drink

2505 SE 11th Ave. Katie Roberts, Eagles of Freedom

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. oOoOO, Groundislava, Bruxa

Mock Crest Tavern 3435 N Lombard St. Suburban Slim

Muddy Rudder Public House 8105 SE 7th Ave. Terry Robb & Lauren Sheehan

Music Millennium

3158 E Burnside St. Beth Hart

Original Halibut’s II 2527 NE Alberta St. Jon Bunzow

Portland State university Smith Ballroom

1825 SW Broadway The Green Note

Record Room

8 NE Killingsworth St. Dark Country, Beringia, Lords

Rock Bottom Restaurant & Brewery 206 SW Morrison St. Steve Hale Trio

Roseland Theater

8 NW 6th Ave. Ryan Bingham, Wild Feathers

Shaker and Vine

2929 SE Powell Blvd. Adam Brock

Slabtown

1033 NW 16th Ave. Bullets or Balloons, Blind Lovejoy, Certain Death, Cabana

Star Theater

Hawthorne Theatre Lounge

13 NW 6th Ave. Laura Ivancie, Solovox, Manoj, Linda Brown, Cellotronik

Hawthorne Theatre

720 SE Hawthorne Luz Elena, Star Anna, Sara Jackson-Holman

1503 SE Cesar E. Chavez Blvd. Josh Wong 1507 SE 39th Ave. Chronological Injustice, Choke The Silence, Othrys, Mursa, Ultra Goat

Ivories Jazz Lounge and Restaurant 1435 NW Flanders St. Two Tenors, Dave Frishberg

The Analog

The Blue diamond

2016 NE Sandy Blvd. Planet Krypton

The Blue Monk

3341 SE Belmont St. Mount Mazama, Roselit Bone, DBL PNDLM

Jack London Bar

The elixir Lab

Jade Lounge

The Know

Katie O’Briens

The Secret Society Ballroom

529 SW 4th Ave. Undercover Blues Band 2346 SE Ankeny St. John Whipple, Santino Cadiz 2809 NE Sandy Blvd. Moral Crux, 800 Octane, Brigadier, Black Delany

Kelly’s Olympian

2738 NE Alberta St. GTM String Band 2026 NE Alberta St. Kromosom, Warcry, Reactor

116 NE Russell St. Dominic Castillo, Chris Lay

426 SW Washington St. Mother’s Whiskey, Merciful Zeus, Child Children

Tiger Bar

Kenton Club

3728 NE Sandy Blvd. Tony Starlight, Barbara Ayars, Marianna Thielen (Dean Martin tribute night)

2025 N Kilpatrick St. Kramer, ManX, Thee Four Teens, Primitive Idols

Landmark Saloon

4847 SE Division St. Papa Dynamite, Ron Rodgers & the Wailing Wind

LaurelThirst

2958 NE Glisan St. Freak Mountain Ramblers, Bingo and Friends, Lewi Longmire, Fernando, Little Sue, Dan Haley, Tree Frogs

Mickey Finn’s Brew Pub

4336 SE Woodstock Blvd. No More Parachutes

Mississippi Pizza

3552 N Mississippi Ave. Fever Charm, Doe Eye, Paternity, Jenny Sizzler

317 NW Broadway Stolen Rose, Iron Mic 206

Tony Starlight’s

Vie de Boheme

1530 SE 7th Ave. Bossa Nova au Go Go

White eagle Saloon 836 N Russell St. Garcia Birthday Band

Wilfs Restaurant & Bar 800 NW 6th Ave. Tom Grant, Shelly Rudolph

SAT. June 8 Aladdin Theater

3017 SE Milwaukie Ave. Fruition

CONT. on page 46

Willamette Week JUNE 5, 2013 wweek.com

june 5–11

BAR SPOTLIGHT leahnash.com

Erynn Starr & the Moonlighters

Slabtown

1033 NW 16th Ave. No Tomorrow Boys, Lunch, Sharks from Mars, Teen Spot

Star Theater

13 NW 6th Ave. Love Gigantic, Majestic Space Dragon, Naomi Hooley

The Analog

720 SE Hawthorne Sonic Temple, Mercury Rising

The Blue Diamond

2016 NE Sandy Blvd. Franco Palette and the Stingers

The Blue Monk

3341 SE Belmont St. Cliff Hines

The Know

NEW NEW LOMPOC: Smoking is strongly discouraged in vicinity of the new Lompoc Tavern (1620 NW 23rd Ave., 894-9374, lompocbrewing.com). Management is so obsessive about it that one of my companions was actually asked to move not just farther down the public sidewalk, but all the way across the street. Yes, things are different on the new Lompoc patio, which sits in front of the bar instead of out back, on the ground floor of a shiny, new mixed-use building. The original Lompoc, a brewpub that sat in a raggedy old building in this location until being torn down to make room for new construction, was co-founded by noted tobacco enthusiast and legendary local publican Don Younger. Younger and the old building are gone. Lompoc beers, no longer made on site, are about the same. The food is actually a little better—both the Cajun chicken sandwich ($10.75) and a plate of wings ($9) have more snap than anything from the old kitchen. Enjoy them with an IPA of the Day, then trudge across the street for a smoke. MARTIN CIZMAR.

2026 NE Alberta St. Labryse, Spear & Magic Helmet

The Lovecraft

3000 NE Alberta St. Dolly Parton Hoot Night: Alela Diane, Shelley Short, Ashleigh Flynn, Star Anna, Ruby Feathers, Rachael Rice, Darka Dusty, Brownish Black, Copper & Coal, Naomi LaViolette, Megan Spear

Alhambra Theatre

4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Cappadonna

Andina

1314 NW Glisan St. Toshi Onizuka Trio

Artichoke Community Music 3130A SE Hawthorne Blvd. Anne Weiss

Ash Street Saloon

225 SW Ash St. KNELT ROTE, Anhedonist, Shadow of the Torturer, Sempiternal Dusk

Biddy McGraw’s

6000 NE Glisan St. Lord Master, little hexes

Buffalo Gap Eatery and Saloon 6835 SW Macadam Ave. Dueling Duets: Rockin’ Piano Party

Camellia Lounge

830 E Burnside St. Bear & Moose, Old Age, A Happy Death, The We Shared Milk (9 pm); Ceremony, Survival Knife (5 pm)

Kelly’s Olympian

203 SE Grand Ave. Stars of Bombay, Don’t, The Wages of Sin

EastBurn

1800 E Burnside St. Saucy Town

Fifteenth Avenue Hophouse 1517 NE Brazee St. Ben Larsen

Foggy Notion

2205 N Killingsworth Abram Rosenthal and Brad Creel

426 SW Washington St. The Jackalope Saints, the Sweeteners, Glass Elevator

Landmark Saloon

4847 SE Division St. Get Rhythm!, Kory Quinn

LaurelThirst

2958 NE Glisan St. The Ukeladies, James Low Western Front

3416 N Lombard St. Almost Dark, Rainstick Cowbell, Time and the Bell, Class M Planets

Mississippi Pizza

Fontaine Bleau

Mississippi Studios

237 NE Broadway Pa’lante

Gemini Lounge

6526 SE Foster Road Jive Coulis

Goodfoot Lounge

2845 SE Stark St. Devin Phillips Band, Farnell Newton Project

Hawthorne Theatre

DeVille Public House

Katie O’Briens

East End

Century High School

5474 NE Sandy Blvd. Elite

221 NW 10th Ave. Curtis Salgado

1635 SE 7th Ave. The Buckles

Duff’s Garage

Hawthorne Hophouse

Clyde’s Prime Rib

Jimmy Mak’s

2809 NE Sandy Blvd. World Of Lies, Necryptic, Damage Overdose, Hyborian Rage

510 NW 11th Ave. Dave Frishberg and Rebecca Kilgore 2000 SE Century Blvd. Portland Chamber Orchestra: Oh, Those Gershwin Boys!

Lucas Biespiel, Ryan Short

4111 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Small Batch

1507 SE 39th Ave. Alkaline Trio, Bayside, Off With Their Heads

Ivories Jazz Lounge and Restaurant 1435 NW Flanders St. The Cavemen

Jack London Bar 529 SW 4th Ave. REWIND

Jade Lounge

2346 SE Ankeny St.

3552 N Mississippi Ave. Gabriel Trees Band, Cedro Willie 3939 N Mississippi Ave. XRAY Fest: Space Palace, Electric iLL, Fang Moon

Mock Crest Tavern

3435 N Lombard St. Tracey Fordice & the 8-Balls

Original Halibut’s II 2527 NE Alberta St. Rae Gordon

Plew’s Brews

8409 N Lombard St. Plew’s Beer Feed: donkey driver, No More Parachutes

Record Room

8 NE Killingsworth St. Nucular Aminals, Giggle Fit, Busy Scissors

Red and Black Cafe 400 SE 12th Ave. The Bogarts

Shaker and Vine

2929 SE Powell Blvd.

Clyde’s Prime Rib

5474 NE Sandy Blvd. Ron Steen Jazz Jam

Crystal Ballroom

1332 W Burnside St. Method Man, Redman, Serge Severe, DJ Wels

DeVille Public House 2205 N Killingsworth Jack Deville

Doug Fir Lounge 830 E Burnside St. Lenka, Satellite

Duff’s Garage

1635 SE 7th Ave. Cold Hard Cash

203 SE Grand Ave. Happy Noose

Fontaine Bleau

237 NE Broadway Pa’lante

The Secret Society Ballroom

Hawthorne Theatre

116 NE Russell St. Trashcan Joe

The TARDIS Room

1218 N Killingsworth St. Wizard Boots

Thirsty Lion

71 SW 2nd Ave. Will Bradley Band

Thorne Lounge

4260 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Kool Stuff Katie

Tiga

1465 NE Prescott St. Left-Hand Path

Tiger Bar

3100 NE Sandy Blvd. The Hot LZs, Bitch School, the Ransom

2505 SE 11th Ave. Tim Roth

1507 SE 39th Ave. Dr. Stahl, Dead Remedy, Patrimony, Second Player Score, 9 Gauge, Brown Erbe, Security In Numbers, Fast Fox, Stab in the Dark

Holocene

1001 SE Morrison St. Dual Mode, Sexbots, Futro Fam, Har-1, Rap Class, Alex Boyce (Futro Kit 2.0 Release Party)

Wilfs Restaurant & Bar 800 NW 6th Ave. Greta Matassa, George Mitchell, Scott Steed, Brad Boal

SuN. JuNE 9 Agnes Flanagan Chapel at Lewis & Clark College

0615 SW Palatine Hill Road Portland Chamber Orchestra: Oh, Those Gershwin Boys!

Al’s Den at the Crystal Hotel 303 SW 12th Ave. Song Sparrow Research

Andina

1314 NW Glisan St. Ryan Walsh

Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall

1037 SW Broadway New World: Metropolitan Youth Symphony

Ash Street Saloon

225 SW Ash St. Modern Golem, Ancient Eden

Biddy McGraw’s

6000 NE Glisan St. Felim Egan

Branx

320 SE 2nd Ave. I Declare War, I Reckon, Censure, Upon A Broken Path, An Effortless Approach, Assyria

529 SW 4th Ave. Club Love

LaurelThirst

1332 W Burnside St. The Honeycutters

Lola’s Room at the Crystal Ballroom 1332 W Burnside St. The Honeycutters

Mississippi Pizza

3552 N Mississippi Ave. Urban Wildlife, Sold As Curio, Sloe Loris (Planned Parenthood Benefit)

Mississippi Studios

Willamette Week JUNE 5, 2013 wweek.com

SW Naito Pkwy and SW Harrison Shaggy, Carly Rae Jepsen, Sean Kingston, Chris Wallace, DJ Pauly D, MKTO, Jay Sean, Wallpaper, Stefano

Vie de Boheme

1530 SE 7th Ave. Arthur “Fresh Air” Moore’s Harmonica Party

White Eagle Saloon

White Owl Social Club

MON. JuNE 10 Al’s Den at the Crystal Hotel 303 SW 12th Ave. Song Sparrow Research

Andina

1314 NW Glisan St. Pete Krebs

Ash Street Saloon 225 SW Ash St. Open Mic

Camellia Lounge

510 NW 11th Ave. Vocalists’ Jazz and Blues Jam, Joe Millward

Dante’s

350 W Burnside St. Karaoke From Hell

Doug Fir Lounge

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Uncle Tupelo Tribute Night: Coffee Creek Collective, Hook and Anchor, Mbilly, Lewi Longmire, Nate Wallace

830 E Burnside St. Free Energy, Battleme

Muddy Rudder Public House

Goodfoot Lounge

Duff’s Garage

1635 SE 7th Ave. Susie & the Sidecars

8105 SE 7th Ave. Irish

2845 SE Stark St. Sonic Forum Open Mic Night

Rock Bottom Restaurant & Brewery

Hawthorne Theatre Lounge

206 SW Morrison St. Christian Burghart

Rontoms

600 E Burnside St. Chastity Belt, Summer Cannibals

Shaker and Vine

2929 SE Powell Blvd. Betty Moss, Steve Moss

Slabtown

1033 NW 16th Ave. Rotties, Shramana, Pink Slip, Grand Style Orchestra

The Blue Diamond

2016 NE Sandy Blvd. Kevin Selfe and the Tornadoes

The Lovecraft

421 SE Grand Ave. Die Robot

The Old Church

1422 SW 11th Ave.

Tom McCall Waterfront Park

Jack London Bar

Lola’s Room at the Crystal Ballroom

836 N Russell St. Ian James, 3L2B

1218 N Killingsworth St. Annika Forrest

1305 SE 8th Ave. Psychic Siamese Terror Tarot Readings

1435 NW Flanders St. Sam Hirsh, Greg Johnson, Harry McKenzie

Vie de Boheme

White Eagle Saloon

The TARDIS Room

Ivories Jazz Lounge and Restaurant

2958 NE Glisan St. Kris Deelane & the Sharp Little Things, Freak Mountain Ramblers

1530 SE 7th Ave. The Djangophiles, Crooner’s Corner

Let’s Get the Party Started: Conchords Chorale

836 N Russell St. Emily Yates, Mimi Naja, Big Water, Brad Parsons

Tony Starlight’s

3728 NE Sandy Blvd. Neil Diamond Tribute

PRETTy GIRL MAKES GRAVES: Sara Jackson-Holman plays the Analog on Friday, June 7.

East End

Ford Food and Drink

Tonic Lounge Doug Fir Lounge

1028 SE Water Ave. Small Black, Heavenly Beat

421 SE Grand Ave. Crasinz, Blvrred Vision, Tom Jones, Erica Jones

317 NW Broadway Blue Ember

Alberta Rose Theatre

Bunk Bar

coURTesY oF In mUsIc We TRUsT

MUSIC CALENDAR

1503 SE Cesar E. Chavez Blvd. Gums

Hawthorne Theatre

1507 SE 39th Ave. Pharoahe Monch, Gray Matters, Bad Habitat, Destro

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave. The Dan Balmer Band

Kells Brewpub

210 NW 21st Ave. Traditional Irish Jam Session

Kelly’s Olympian

426 SW Washington St. Eye Candy VJs

Landmark Saloon

4847 SE Division St. Hack, Stitch & Buckshot, Saturday Night Drive

LaurelThirst

2958 NE Glisan St. Kung Pao Chickens, Portland Country Underground

Muddy Rudder Public House 8105 SE 7th Ave. Lloyd Jones

Pub at the End of the universe 4107 SE 28th Ave. Open Mic

Slabtown

1033 NW 16th Ave. The Harlequin State, Noise Brigade, Duty

St. David’s Episcopal Church

2800 SE Harrison St. Harrison Hill Music Studio: The Mikado

Star Bar

639 SE Morrison St. Metal Monday: DJ Desecrator

The Blue Diamond

2016 NE Sandy Blvd. Sumo

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St. Full of Hell, Habits, Seven Sisters of Sleep, Worthless Eaters

Twilight Café and Bar 1420 SE Powell Blvd. SIN Night

White Eagle Saloon 836 N Russell St. Bear Attack

TuES. JuNE 11 Al’s Den at the Crystal Hotel 303 SW 12th Ave. Song Sparrow Research

Andina

1314 NW Glisan St. JB Butler

Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall

1037 SW Broadway Boz Scaggs

Backspace

115 NW 5th Ave. Jim Strange, Nagas, Warkrank, Doomsday Citizen

Bunk Bar

1028 SE Water Ave. The Bats, Eat Skull

Doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St. Generationals, Young Empires

Duff’s Garage

1635 SE 7th Ave. Dover Weinberg Quartet

East End

203 SE Grand Ave. We Are Like The Spider, Exotic Club, Metal Mother

Goodfoot Lounge 2845 SE Stark St. Roseland Hunters

Hawthorne Theatre Lounge

1503 SE Cesar E. Chavez Blvd.

Chris Baron, Kivett Bednar & Friends, The Get Ahead

Hawthorne Theatre

1507 SE 39th Ave. One More Time: A Tribute to Daft Punk, Lionsden, DJ Sacrilicious

Holocene

1001 SE Morrison St. Boards of Canada Listening Party: DJ Gumar, DJ BJ, Roy G Biv, Ghost Feet, Colin Manning

Ivories Jazz Lounge and Restaurant 1435 NW Flanders St. Greg Goebel

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave. The Mel Brown Septet, Mt. View HS Jazz Group

Kenton Club

2025 N Kilpatrick St. Ten Speed Music, Pitschouse, Lunar Grave

LaurelThirst

2958 NE Glisan St. Jackstraw

Mississippi Pizza

3552 N Mississippi Ave. Sam Rico

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Brent Amaker and the Rodeo, The Lonesome Billies

Powell’s City of Books

1005 W Burnside St. Black Prairie (performing Wild Ones)

Rock Bottom Restaurant & Brewery 206 SW Morrison St. Positive Vibrations

Star Bar

639 SE Morrison St. Long Knife, Long Knife, DJ Jonny Cat

The Analog

720 SE Hawthorne Vanessa Rogers

The Blue Diamond

2016 NE Sandy Blvd. Margo Tufo, Doug Rowell

The Blue Monk

3341 SE Belmont St. Pagan Jug Band

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St. Fellwoods, Satan’s Sartyrs, Crag Dweller

Tonic Lounge

3100 NE Sandy Blvd. Geeks Who Drink Trivia in The Fireside Lounge

Twilight Café and Bar 1420 SE Powell Blvd. Open Mic Night: The Roaming

Vie de Boheme

1530 SE 7th Ave. Salsa Dancing: Lynn Winkle and Mark Stauffer

MUSIC CALENDAR

COURTESY OF WINDISH AGENCY

june 5–11

3341 SE Belmont 503-595-0575 BASEMENT BAR @THE BLUE MONK

For the full calendar, visit w w w.theb luemonk .com

THURSDAY 6/6 9:00 Jenny Finn Orchestra

Smut City Jellyroll Society

FRIDAY 6/7 7:30 Offbeat Bellydance 10:00 such & such presents:

Mount Mazama DBL PNDLM and more

STreeT WALKinG: Chrome Sparks plays Fresh at holocene on Friday, June 7.

SATURDAY 6/8 9:00 Cliff Hines

All Decades Video Dance Attack: VJ Kittyrox

Mississippi Studios

Twitch

3939 N Mississippi Ave. MRS: DJ Beyonda

SUNDAY 6/9 8:00 Sunday Jazz Series:

Star Bar

Wed. June 5 Andrea’s Cha Cha Club 832 SE Grand Ave. Salsa: DJ Alberton

Berbati’s

231 SW Ankeny St. DJ Seleckta YT

Bossanova Ballroom 722 E Burnside St. Wednesday Swing

CC Slaughters

219 NW Davis St. Trick with DJ Robb

Star Bar

639 SE Morrison St. DJ Boom

The Firkin Tavern 1937 SE 11th Ave. Eye Candy VJs

The Lovecraft

421 SE Grand Ave. Event Horizon: DJ Straylight, DJ Backlash

Tiga

1465 NE Prescott St. DJ Bill Portland

ThurS. June 6 Berbati’s

Branx

639 SE Morrison St. DJ Jessicat

CC Slaughters

31 NW 1st Ave. Rebecca & Fiona, Jamie Meushaw, Tourmaline

320 SE 2nd Ave. Beartown: Bearwrecked 2013 219 NW Davis St. Fetish Friday with DJ Jakob Jay 1332 W Burnside St. ‘80s Video Dance Attack: VJ Kittyrox

Goodfoot Lounge 2845 SE Stark St. DJ Magneto

holocene

1001 SE Morrison St. Fresh.: Crystal Fighters, Alpine, Chrome Sparks

639 SE Morrison St. DJ Jonny Cat, DJ Cecilia

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St. Dirtbag: Bruce LaBruiser

The Lovecraft

421 SE Grand Ave. Vortex: DJ Kenny, John and Skip

The rose

639 SE Morrison St. Uncontrollable Urge: DJ Paultimore

The Lovecraft

White Owl Social Club 1305 SE 8th Ave. DJ Beyond A Doubt Outdoor Summer Soul Series

SAT. June 8 Berbati’s

231 SW Ankeny St. DJ Mellow Cee

CC Slaughters

219 NW Davis St. Revolution with DJ Robb

Club 21

2035 NE Glisan St. DJ HWY 7

Fri. June 7 231 SW Ankeny St. Cloud City Collective

736 SE Grand Ave. DJ Maxamillion

Sharkskin Revue Euphonious Thump

231 SW Ankeny St. DJ Henry Dark

CC Slaughters

720 SE Hawthorne Gothique Blend

The Lovecraft

421 SE Grand Ave. Departures: DJ Waisted, DJ Anais Ninja

Tiga

1465 NE Prescott St. DJ “Chains” Crumley

TueS. June 11 Ash Street Saloon

225 SW Ash St. Phreak: Electronic Mutations: Brontosonic, Kid Logic, Albino Gorilla, Lurky, Uncommon Sense, Slurgeon, Hippinshlog

Berbati’s

231 SW Ankeny St. DJ Aurora

CC Slaughters

219 NW Davis St. Girltopia with DJ Alicious

eagle Portland

835 N Lombard St DMTV with DJ Danimal

1001 SE Morrison St. Club Crooks: DJ Izm, DJ Danny Merkury, Mr. Marcus

Tiga

Kenton Club

1305 SE 8th Ave. Totaled Tuesdays: DJ Mike V., Manee Friday

2025 N Kilpatrick St. Country Pride Dance Party: DJ Action Slacks, DJ AM Gold, DJ (Tara) Perkins

page 25

THURSDAY 6/13 9:00 FUNK at the MONK

MOn. June 10

The Analog

1465 NE Prescott St. DJ Lorax

Street

WEDNESDAY 6/12 8:00 Arabesque Belly Dance

Star Theater

The rose

holocene

Berbati’s

639 SE Morrison St. DJ Big Ben

219 NW Davis St. Maniac Monday with DJ Robb

The Whiskey Bar

1465 NE Prescott St. DJ Easy Ian

Star Bar

421 SE Grand Ave. Brickbat Mansion

dig a Pony

Tiga

231 SW Ankeny St. DJ Linkus EDM

Star Bar

111 SW Ash St. Folding | Space: Sappho, Micah McNelly, Rafa 31 NW 1st Ave. Bass Cube: Sir Kutz, DJ Deformaty

Sun. June 9 Berbati’s

Berbati’s

315 SE 3rd Ave. Shutup&dance: DJ Gregarious, DJ Disorder

Tiga

Star Bar

1465 NE Prescott St. DJ Left Hand Push

13 NW 6th Ave. Church of Hive

CC Slaughters

1332 W Burnside St. Limelight Dance Millenium

Tiga

TUESDAY 6/11 6:30 Pagan Jug Band

rotture

111 SW Ash St. Gareth Whitehead, Mr. Romo, Mike Grimes, DJ Verse

Lola’s room at the Crystal Ballroom

Quadraphonnes Saxophone Quartet

Crystal Ballroom

231 SW Ankeny St. DJs Def Ro and Suga Shane 219 NW Davis St. Hip Hop Heaven with DJ Detroit Diezel

The Whiskey Bar

1465 NE Prescott St. DJ Maxamillion

White Owl Social Club

Lola’s room at the Crystal Ballroom 1332 W Burnside St.

Willamette Week JUNE 5, 2013 wweek.com

JUNE 5–11

= WW Pick. Highly recommended. Most prices listed are for advance ticket sales. At-the-door increases and so-called convenience charges may apply, so it’s best to call ahead.

GARY NORMAN

Editor: REBECCA JACOBSON. Theater: REBECCA JACOBSON (rjacobson@ wweek.com). Classical: BRETT CAMPBELL (bcampbell@wweek.com). Dance: AARON SPENCER (dance@wweek.com). TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit information at least two weeks in advance to: rjacobson@wweek.com.

ALOHA, SAY THE PRETTY GIRLS

THEATER 8

Basic Rights Oregon presents a staged reading of a new play by Dustin Lance Black—who won an Oscar for his Milk screenplay—about the federal trial of California’s Proposition 8. Artists Repertory Theatre, 1515 SW Morrison St., 222-6151. 7:30 pm Thursday-Saturday and 2 pm Sunday, June 6-9. $10.

Aloha, Say the Pretty Girls

What if life was really just a giant game of musical chairs? And what if you didn’t end up in the chair you wanted? That’s the story Aloha, Say the Pretty Girls sets out to explore. Told in a series of interconnected vignettes, Naomi Iizuka’s play follows 11 characters as they try to figure out who they are and where they’re going in life, from a pregnant, neurotic woman recently dumped by her boyfriend who moves to Alaska, to a dog who isn’t really sure anymore if he is a dog or a man. The story itself, as these twentysomethings try to discover themselves and find romance, is frankly a little exhausting. Existentially angsty questions weigh down the script: “I don’t know who I am! I don’t know what I’m supposed to be!” But the Theatre Vertigo cast, directed by Jen Wineman, delivers well-timed comedic performances as the characters grapple with whether they should, in fact, marry the person they love, or whether that paw is indeed a hand. KAITIE TODD. Theater! Theatre!, 3430 SE Belmont St., 306-0870. 8 pm Thursdays-Saturdays through June 8. $15 Fridays-Saturdays, “pay what you want” Thursdays.

Beaux Arts Club

Beaux Arts Club opens with a strange sort of duet. Actress Anne Sorce, clad in a mod minidress and a fluffy brown wig, shimmies and swivels around an unnamed man who’s been gagged and handcuffed. At one point, she removes a shoe and whacks him with it. Sorce’s bumbling awkwardness—there’s something seductive about the way she moves, but it couldn’t be called sexy—doesn’t disguise the more sinister undercurrents lurking beneath. As she lashes the man behind a web of bungee cords and white fabric, Sorce offers coy glances to the audience. Finally tossing a tablecloth over his head, she turns back to us. “Well, that oughta do it!” she squeals. And like that, we’re complicit in the dark absurdity of this Imago Theatre production, written and directed by Carol Triffle. Beaux Arts Club raises questions about art, taste, criticism and voyeurism in a way that topples expectations, drawing the audience into a twisted, delightful fever dream of a play. “I went to every First Thursday this year,” says a character. “Turns

out everything is art.” The premise is simple enough: Three thirtysomething female friends gather yearly to show off their art, read poetry and drink red wine. But Triffle’s designs are unconventional, and the play swings between hilariously overwrought dialogue and hallucinatory songand-dance breaks. The capable cast answers Triffle’s demands with exaggerated physicality and unreserved embrace of their preposterous roles, which elevates the action to something more than camp. Sorce steals scenes throughout. She jackknifes from feline slinkiness to feral recklessness, gesturing like Vanna White at one point and growling like a dog at another. It’s a wildly unusual portrait of a downtrodden and lonely artist, but the electric Sorce makes it work. By play’s end, the mysterious man isn’t the only one trapped in her web. REBECCA JACOBSON. Imago Theatre, 17 SE 8th Ave., 231-3959. 8 pm Fridays-Saturdays and 2 pm Sunday, June 6-9. Free, $10-$20 suggested.

The Boys in the Band

The 1968 off-Broadway production of Mart Crowley’s The Boys in the Band was the first depiction of gay men to reach a mainstream audience. Defunkt Theatre offers a memorable production directed by Jon Kretzu (running in repertory with The Children’s Hour; see review also on this page). Staged in a private home on East Burnside Street, an audience of roughly a dozen lines the walls of a midcentury-designed living room. The effect is intimacy not only with the actors, who at times stand inches from your face and even step on your shoe, but also between audience members: You share every laugh and awkward moment with the person sitting across the room. The play could be set today with only minimal line adjustments. The guests are archetypes for any group of gay men: the neurotic one, the know-itall, the lothario, the butch one, the femme one, and so on. One-liners zing back and forth with zeal that would put Henny Youngman to shame, and the dishing and self-deprecation are relentless. Particularly magnetic is Harold (Matthew Kerrigan), who practically hisses his nihilistic worldview between puffs of his cigarette. When Michael (Jeffrey Arrington) accuses him of being late, he dryly retorts, “What I am, Michael, is a 32-year-old, ugly, pockmarked Jew fairy.” Equally but more joyfully engaging is Matthew Kern’s effeminate Emory. “Who do you have to fuck to get a drink around here?” he squeals. While many parts of The Boys in the Band are relevant today, others—the shame, the selfhate, the blame on an overbearing mother—are quickly becoming vestiges of a more tortured time. Perhaps gay culture is fleeting, and perhaps that’s good. Maybe years from now, the next generation will watch Will and Grace reruns and imagine how

Willamette Week JUNE 5, 2013 wweek.com

different things used to be. AARON SPENCER. 3125 E Burnside St., 4812960. 7:30 pm Thursdays-Sundays. 7:30 pm Tuesday, June 11. 7:30 pm Wednesdays, June 5 and 12. Through June 15. $15-$20.

The Children’s Hour

Gay culture seems to evolve so quickly that any snapshot is almost instantly antiquated. Offering a queer eye to a straight guy today is almost as passé as wearing an earring in your right ear. Ten years from now, people will recall the primitive times when two women in Arkansas couldn’t marry each other. But despite any change in circumstances, gays and lesbians continue to have many of the same conversations. Alcoholism, sex, abuse, suicide—while these topics aren’t confined to gay circles, their ubiquity over the decades reminds us that not all ground covered is new. Director Jon Kretzu vividly conveys this in two seminal works of homosexual theater now at Defunkt: The Children’s Hour and The Boys in the Band (see review also on this page). Darker than its counterpart, Lillian Hellman’s The Children’s Hour is less about homosexuality than about gossip. The play focuses on a sociopathic monster of a little girl, Mary (Roxanne Stathos), who pretends to faint one second and attacks a classmate the next. Melissa Whitney and Grace Carter star as headmistresses of a private school, but Mary and the three other girls loom over the stage in school desks for most of the show, giving the play an ominous tone. The Children’s Hour was first performed in 1934, when even the mention of homosexuality on stage was illegal in New York, though the play’s popularity gained it a pass. It’s a suspenseful tale, and while slow at times, the gravitas of its historical context isn’t lost on today’s audience. AARON SPENCER. The Back Door Theater, 4319 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 481-2960. 7:30 pm Thursdays-Sundays through June 15. $15-$20.

Crooked

As Crooked opens, 14-year-old Laney reads aloud a short story she’s just written, about a murderous lemonade vendor, to her mother, Elise. Elise tells Laney to make it more realistic. “You always say that!” Laney shrieks. “You always want me to be more realistic!” Perhaps Elise wants Laney to take a page from playwright Catherine Trieschmann, who has crafted a remarkably grounded threewoman drama. This sharp and affecting production, directed by Philip Cuomo, taps into the delusions, tensions and pains of adolescence with its story of Laney (Kayla Lian), a precocious tomboy who moves with her newly divorced mother (Maureen Porter) to Mississippi. Laney suffers from back spasms, though she claims she’s grateful for the condition even if it makes her an outcast. “I’m glad I have it because now I know how shallow people are,” she tells her only friend Maribel (Meghan Chambers), a chubby, intensely religious 16-year-old misfit. Lian and Chambers convey the anxiety of a friendship not yet solidified, with Lian’s eyes wide as she waits for her friend’s approval on a new short story, and Chambers picking nervously at an apple with her fingernails. The role of Maribel is a tonally tricky one, but Chambers doesn’t condescend, even as her character describes her “invisible stigmata” and soliloquizes about everlasting hell. Porter, meanwhile, brings both sarcasm and affection to her role, throwing up her arms when her daughter declares herself “a holiness lesbian” but also dispensing earnest sex advice to the girls. Trieschmann has an ear for the teenage idiom as well as the searing barbs mothers and daughters sling at one another—this is comedy that stings and reality that sings. REBECCA JACOBSON. The CoHo Theater, 2257 NW Raleigh St., 715-1114. 7:30 pm Thursdays-Saturdays, 2 pm Sundays through June 8. $25.

Disassembly

Evan has bad luck. He’s been hit by a golf cart, scarred by scissors and injured in various other accidents. Steve Yockey’s play opens with Evan’s most recent injury, a stabbing. Following this,

his twin sister, Ellen, and his fiancee, Diane, try to help him recover while dealing with a stream of visitors to their apartment. Guests include Tessa, Ellen’s well-mannered friend who is always in mourning; Stanley, Tessa’s lovesick best friend with a scary temper; Jerome, Ellen’s Napoleon Dynamite-esque boyfriend; and Mirabelle, the nagging, bitter neighbor who likes to carry a stuffed cat. What starts as a quick-paced and charming black comedy—full of bewildered looks, polite smiles and recurring gags (usually involving Evan’s wound)— soon turns into something darker as these strangers learn more about each other. Perhaps just as strong as the black humor is the Action/Adventure Theatre cast, directed by Noah Dunham to goofy, awkward near-perfection. As Diane, Jai Lavette delivers a delightfully real portrayal amid the lunacy, and Cecily Crow’s continuous nervous

laughter as Tessa keeps the audience chuckling. KAITIE TODD. Action/ Adventure Theatre, 1050 SE Clinton St. 8 pm Thursdays-Sundays through June 9. $15, Thursdays “pay what you will.”

Invasion!

New troupe Badass Theatre Company—founded by some of Portland’s top performers—presents its inaugural production, an Obiewinning black comedy by Jonas Hassen Khemiri. Khemiri was raised by a Tunisian father and Swedish mother in Stockholm, and his play begins with a man recounting memories of a Lebanese uncle. From there, though, it spirals into a forceful but unusual meditation on Arab identity, language, racism and immigration. Miracle Theatre, 525 SE Stark St., 358-4660. 8 pm Thursdays-Saturdays and 2 pm Sundays through June 29. $15-$20.

REVIEW OWEN CAREY

PERFORMANCE

HOMEWARD BOUND: Dana Millican (left) and Danielle Purdy.

ITHAKA (ARTISTS REPERTORY THEATRE) When home is a destination in your mind as much as a physical space, it’s an arduous journey to overcome the obstacles that hinder your arrival. After fighting the Trojan War for 10 years, it took Odysseus another 10 years to reach his home in Ithaca. For Marine Capt. Elaine Edwards, returning home from her latest tour in Afghanistan, the forces keeping her at bay are her own haunted memories. Ithaka, the new original work by Portland playwright Andrea Stolowitz, follows Lanie’s trek through the Nevada desert and her own disturbingly populated subconscious. Though she arrived home to her husband more than a week ago, her real life no longer feels real. She’s baffled by the people who smile through mundane activities such as shopping. “Was I ever that happy doing this bullshit?” she wonders. Played with fierce authenticity by Dana Millican, Lanie blows up at her husband (Paul Angelo) and can’t forgive herself for letting out the cat. Her often rapid-fire dialogue serves to mask the things she doesn’t want to address. Millican embodies a woman both strong and broken, imbued with enough genuine emotion to avoid cliché. Tackling the topic of war can be tricky ground, rife with potential for often-heard indictments or for sweeping patriotic grandeur. But Stolowitz has said she didn’t set out to write a play about soldiers or even war in general; she wanted to write about friendship and what happens when those bonds are lost. Her stripped-down approach creates a more personal journey, holding true to the experience of returning veterans (Stolowitz interviewed more than 20), but still relatable to everyone else. What’s left is a story about guilt, loss and finding a way back home. Rather than wallow in the maudlin, the punchy dialogue and dark laughs push the show at a solid clip, and director Gemma Whelan’s seamlessly nimble staging moves from car to roller coaster to hospital bed to battlefield effortlessly and with some impressive effects. But ultimately Ithaka is driven by its characters—by Lanie’s grief, by her husband’s frustration and, briefly, by the wisdom of a talking cat. Regardless of any experience with the military or the realities of war, it’s not hard to sympathize with Lanie’s pain as she undertakes her own odyssey toward home, peace and Ithaca. PENELOPE BASS. The Herculean task of traveling home.

SEE IT: Ithaka is at Artists Repertory Theatre, 1515 SW Morrison St., 241-1278. 7:30 pm Tuesdays-Sundays, 2 pm Sundays through June 30. $25-$50.

JUNE 5–11

The Left Hand of Darkness

When Portland author Ursula K. Le Guin wrote The Left Hand of Darkness in 1969, she imagined it as a thought experiment. What would a world be like, she asked, where humans spent most of their lives as androgynous beings? A world where people only adopted sexual identities for a few days each month, and could become either male or female? So it’s fitting that this new adaptation of Le Guin’s novel is rather experimental itself. The show, co-produced by Hand2Mouth Theatre and Portland Playhouse and directed by Jonathan Walters, follows Le Guin’s narrative but also incorporates stylized movement, haunting songs and an immersive synth score to transport the audience to Gethen, an icy planet populated by androgynous beings. We meet Estraven (Allison Tigard), the prime minister exiled for treason, and Genly (Damian Thompson), an envoy sent from Earth. John Schmor’s overstuffed script works hard to establish an intricate set of political circumstances, but it grows convoluted. The second act gains steam, charting Estraven and Genly’s treacherous trek over a glacier and the thawing of their frosty relationship. What unfolds here—as these two navigate foreign social codes and excruciating physical tests—doesn’t need the fragmented, abstruse exposition provided earlier. And despite the centrality of gender to Le Guin’s novel, questions about androgyny and sexual difference in the play become secondary to the unconventional love story. With her white-blond hair and striking features, Tigard brings to mind Tilda Swinton, fiercely impassive and commanding. But Thompson, as the play’s lone Earthman, feels phoned-in. The androgynous humans around him refer to him as a pervert, yet Thompson seems the least sexed of them all. “Ambitious” is often a euphemism for “unsuccessful,” and there are pieces here that are both. H2M and Portland Playhouse gave themselves a massive challenge in adapting Le Guin’s dense and complicated novel for the stage. Best, then, to treat the play as an experiment: a gutsy leap into Le Guin’s world, which these scientists and voyagers are still learning to navigate. REBECCA JACOBSON. Portland Playhouse, 602 NE Prescott St., 4885822. 7:30 pm Thursdays-Saturdays, 2 pm Saturdays-Sundays through June 16. $23-$32.

The Miracle Worker

In this benefit for the Oregon Lions Sight & Hearing Foundation, Beaverton Civic Theatre performs William Gibson’s play about Helen Keller and Annie Sullivan. Beaverton Christian Church, 13600 SW Allen Blvd., 4137399. 5 pm Sunday, June 9. $20.

No Take Backs

Monkey With a Hat On stages a play about the triumphs and failures of small-town America, written and directed by Justin Gauthier. Clinton Street Theater, 2522 SE Clinton St., 238-8899. 7 pm Sunday, June 9. $5.

Once Upon a Mattress

Hillsboro’s HART Theatre closes its season with the musical comedy based on The Princess and the Pea. HART Theatre, 185 SE Washington St., 6937815. 7:30 pm Fridays-Saturdays and 2 pm Sundays through June 30. $12-$16.

The People’s Republic of Portland

It would be easy to carp about Lauren Weedman’s mispronunciation and misnaming of this newspaper (on opening night, she referred to it as “Will-uhmet Weekly”). But that would be too simple, and just a bit cheap. (And it was apparently a deliberate mispronunciation, the show’s dramaturg has informed me.) No, I applaud Weedman, a Los Angeles resident and former Daily Show correspondent, for picking up a copy of WW in her mission to understand our city, a quest she details in this solo show commissioned by Portland Center Stage. But Weedman—an affable monologist, gifted physical comedian and pretty decent dancer—may well have lost this one before she even started. Though her talents are on display, The People’s Republic of Portland winds up somewhere between Portlandia-style potshots and The New York Times’ lovey-dovey coos, with Weedman’s confessional bursts more genuine than those on The Real World but still not meaty enough to carry the performance. The 90-minute show, directed by Rose Riordan, has live-wire Weedman bouncing between humorous anecdotes, skillful character impersonations, hip-hop dance breaks and thoughts about her family. These personal considerations provide a loose framework, but they’re underdeveloped. Weedman’s observations about Portland, meanwhile, hit too many of the expected beats. The show has a bearded barista, a public transit proselytizer, a tattooed stripper, gaggles of Amelie look-alikes, geek trivia whizzes and a woman rhapsodizing about her vision quest at an ecstatic dance party. Weedman—who speaks without punctuation or pause, animated to the point of near-hysteria—presents herself as unguarded, but there’s a caginess to her. It’s one of the things that makes her so engaging: There’s a sense she’s withholding something from the audience, or even from herself. But this undercurrent of anxiety pairs uneasily with her jokes, which seem designed for PCS subscribers to chuckle knowingly about the quaint and quirky charms of our attention-loving city. Strangely, I left the show feeling bad, and almost embarrassed, for Weedman. She’s witty and dynamic, and it’s clear she’s taken with Portland. But Portland isn’t her wheelhouse, and People’s Republic feels unfinished. REBECCA JACOBSON. Gerding Theater, 128 NW 11th Ave., 445-3700. 7:30 pm Tuesdays-Sundays, 2 pm Sundays and select Saturdays, noon Thursdays through June 30. $34-$54.

The Seagull

Like many great works of art, Anton Chekhov’s The Seagull was booed on its 1896 opening night before finding wild success. Northwest Classical Theatre Co.’s production, directed by Don Alder, uses an intimate venue and emotive acting to add immediacy to this theatrical jewel. Set in the lakeside summertime home of Irina (Jane Bement Geesman), an aging but famous actress, and her idealistic playwright son Konstantin (Ben Buckley), the play’s atmosphere seems idyllic. Yet, as Irina admits, “It’s hot and humid. No one does anything! Everyone philosophizes.” An ensemble cast bears the comedy that arises from what becomes a love hexagon, but unrequited and uncertain desires, along with Konstantin’s attempted suicide, temper any humor. The writer Trigorin, one of Chekhov’s deepest characters, is valiantly played by Jason Maniccia. In the center stand Brenan Dwyer as a fragile but sunny Nina and Clara-Liis Hillier, Nina’s foil as a jaded, black-hearted Masha. The tone is convoluted and dark, but as Nina advises, “You must learn to bear your cross.” MITCH LILLIE. Shoe Box Theater, 2110 SE 10th Ave., 971-244-3740. 7:30 pm Thursdays-Saturdays, 2 pm Sundays through June 16. $20.

Somewhere in Time

PSU Taiko Ensemble and Guests

Somewhere in Time began as a novel by Richard Matheson called Bid Time Return, a sci-fi romance about a man who travels back to the 19th century to woo an actress. In 1980, it became a film with Christopher Reeves and Jane Seymour. And now, it’s a musical, getting its world premiere at Portland Center Stage, with a cast and crew boasting plenty of Broadway credits. Gerding Theater, 128 NW 11th Ave., 445-3700. 7:30 pm Tuesdays-Sundays, 2 pm Saturdays-Sundays, noon Thursdays through June 30. $30-$70.

Portland State’s creation last year of an academic program featuring the venerable Japanese percussion instrument has been a happy addition to Portland’s world-music scene, especially because music prof Wynn Kiyama highlights the role of taiko in theater and dance. Accordingly, this spring’s concert features classical dance, storytelling and kyogen comic theater along with the drums. Lincoln Recital Hall, Room 75, 1620 SW Park Ave., 725-3011. 7:30 pm Thursday, June 6. Free.

COMEDY

Portland Chamber Orchestra

Anthony Jeselnik

Known for roasting Donald Trump and Charlie Sheen on Comedy Central, the comedian brings his act—and all the offensive jokes that populate it—to the Aladdin. Aladdin Theater, 3017 SE Milwaukie Ave., 234-9694. 7:30 pm and 10:30 pm Friday, June 7. $25.

Instead of the original lead piano and orchestra arrangement of George Gershwin’s classic “Rhapsody in Blue,” violinist Lindsay Deutsch plays a version featuring her instrument. This

concert and original revue of the great American composer’s music and life story also showcases cabaret singers Susannah Mars and Rocky Blumhagen. Pianist Rick Modlin will perform the immortal songs of George and Ira, backed by the PCO. Century High School, 2000 SE Century Blvd., 7713250. 7:30 pm Saturday and 3 pm Sunday, June 8-9. $15-$25.

Portland Chamber Orchestra

Instead of the original lead piano and orchestra arrangement of George Gershwin’s classic “Rhapsody in Blue,” violinist Lindsay Deutsch plays a version featuring her instrument. This concert and original revue of the great American composer’s music and life story also showcases cabaret singers Susannah Mars and Rocky Blumhagen.

CONT. on page 50

REVIEW OWEN CAREY

La Cage aux Folles

Even among the staunchly classical theater crowd, there is something undeniably entertaining about a man in a dress. Throw in a gay cabaret owner and his transvestite headliner/life partner—who pretend to be man and wife in order to meet conservative parents of their son’s fiance—and hilarity is bound to ensue. Lakewood Theatre’s production of La Cage aux Folles excels thanks to its supremely talented cast, in particular Joe Theissen as Albert and drag queen extraordinaire Zaza. Theissen’s singing is lovely, but it’s his mannerisms and spot-on delivery that have the audience roaring through each scene. The equally talented chorus dancers, in a hurricane of glitter and marabou, shimmy, flip and high-kick their way through the musical’s up-tempo numbers in what must be the most cardio-intensive acting gig on stage. Have fun guessing which actors are actually women. PENELOPE BASS. Lakewood Center for the Arts, 368 S State St., Lake Oswego, 6353901. 7:30 pm Thursdays-Saturdays; 2 pm Sundays through June 9. $35.

PERFORMANCE

Diabolical Experiments

Improv jam show. Brody Theater, 16 NW Broadway, 224-2227. 7 pm every Sunday. $5.

Friday Night Fights

Competitive improv, with two teams battling for stage time. Curious Comedy, 5225 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 477-9477. 10 pm every first and third Friday. $5.

The Liberators

We’re fans of this improv troupe. Haven’t we been over this? This is their last show till fall, so catch ’em before they head on summer vacation. Brody Theater, 16 NW Broadway, 224-2227. 8 pm Saturday, June 8. $13-$16.

Mixology

Late-night improv, sketch and standup. Curious Comedy, 5225 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 477-9477. 10 pm every second and fourth Saturday. $5.

Open Court

Team-based long-form improv open to audience members and performers of all stripes. Curious Comedy, 5225 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 477-9477. 8 pm every first and third Thursday. $5.

Portland’s Funniest Person Contest

Local comedians compete for the crown of most hilarious in town. Preliminary rounds run through June 7, with semifinals on June 8 and finals on June 9. Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9th Ave., 888-643-8669. 8 pm Tuesday-Thursday, 7:30 pm and 10 pm Friday, June 4-7. $10-$15.

Three Buck Yucks

Stand-up, improv and sketch, swirled together by Brody’s in-house and visiting performers. Brody Theater, 16 NW Broadway, 224-2227. 10 pm Saturdays through June 15. $3.

Trekathon

The Unscriptables stage an improv marathon, with 28 hours of Star Trek-inspired, unscripted theater. Ever dreamt of the Enterprise gone Broadway? Skewed Shakespeare-style? Reimagined as a fairy tale? Consider your fantasies realized. Funhouse Lounge, 2432 SE 11th Ave., 309-3723. 8 pm Friday through 11:30 pm Saturday, June 7-8. “Pay what you want.”

CLASSICAL Classical Revolution PDX

The group dedicated to dragging classical music out of the concert hall and putting it back in the gutter, or at least the clubs and cafes, has been expanding its scope and ambition, adding two more monthly informal chamber jams to the original Waypost series. This month, it’ll also host the national Classical Revolution conference. To finance all the new activity, the group has organized a concert featuring members of Mousai Remix (an Oregon Symphony spinoff), plus the Lyrical Strings duo with the riveting theatrical soprano Flora Sussely. Vie de Boheme, 1530 SE 7th Ave., 3601233. 7 pm Wednesday, June 5. Free.

BIG-BOX BLUES: Tim True (left) and Andy Lee-Hillstrom.

A BRIGHT NEW BOISE (THIRD RAIL REPERTORY) The end times at the strip mall.

If Tolstoy was right—that in all great literature, a man either goes on a journey or a stranger comes to town—there’s hardly a clearer example of the latter than A Bright New Boise. Samuel D. Hunter’s Obie-winning 2011 play follows Will, a middle-aged religious zealot who has left his northern Idaho home for Boise. There, he finds work at a Hobby Lobby, a bigbox craft store, and proceeds to upend the lives of those around him. But through it all, Will remains eerily calm—or perhaps not calm, but rather unreadable, impassive, vacant. He’s like the hub of a wheel, hardly stirring as those around him spin out of control. It’s an intriguing but challenging premise: Here’s a central character who seems so static yet still provokes such turmoil. This Third Rail Rep production, directed by John Vreeke, rockets out of the gates and hits many of the right notes, but flags somewhat as it goes on. Perhaps unsurprisingly, many of the stumbles come from the character of Will, played by Tim True. Generally magnetic and adaptable, here True can be so inscrutable that he grows blank. His character has come to Boise to flee a shameful religious past, namely his involvement in a cultlike church. But early on in the play, we learn of his connection—not to be revealed here—to the teenage Alex (Andy Lee-Hillstrom, propelled by nerves and anger), an anxious misfit who also works at the Hobby Lobby. Under the fluorescent lights of the employee break room, Will and Alex trade dialogue marked by fits and starts, or interrupted by the entrance of another blue-vested worker: Jacklyn Maddux’s sailor-mouthed and corporate-minded supervisor, Pauline; Kerry Ryan’s bumbling loner, who hides in the silk-flower section after hours and jabbers without thinking; and Chris Murray’s misguided art student, who tries to shake up customers by wearing T-shirts emblazoned with “FUCK” or “CUNT.” These actors play their tragicomic roles deftly. Hunter, the playwright, has a knack for textured dialogue that is outwardly direct but scrapes at something darker. “Is it too much to ask that we have a normal fucking workday here?” asks Pauline. Alex’s frequent refrain—“I’m gonna kill myself”—rings with teenage impetuosity while hinting at higher stakes. But A Bright New Boise never lays all its cards on the table. Frustrating, maybe, but given each character’s fumbling search for meaning, ultimately fitting. REBECCA JACOBSON.

SEE IT: A Bright New Boise is at the Winningstad Theatre, Portland Center for the Performing Arts, 1111 SW Broadway, 235-1101. 7:30 pm Thursdays-Saturdays, 2 pm Sundays through June 23. $22.25-$41.25. Willamette Week JUNE 5, 2013 wweek.com

JUNE 5–11 LY D I A D A N I L L E R

PERFORMANCE

Music froM your backyard. twitter.com/localcut • facebook.com/localcut

NO EXIT

Pianist Rick Modlin will perform the immortal songs of George and Ira, backed by the PCO. Century High School, 2000 SE Century Blvd., 771-3250. 7:30 pm Saturday and 3 pm Sunday, June 8-9. $15-$25.

Seventh Species New Music Concert

Long before Cascadia Composers were presenting showcases of homegrown contemporary classical music, CC member and Portland composer Gary Noland was doing something similar with his Seventh Species composers collective. The series continues with a trio of Florida-based guest artists—pianist Jihye Chang, clarinetist Deborah Bish and violist Pamela Ryan—plus local musicians. They’ll play works (including premieres) by eight local composers, including the venerable Tomas Svoboda, Jeff Winslow and former Turtle Island String Quartet member Katrina Wreede, as well as Noland’s own tribute to the late novelist David Foster Wallace. Michelle’s Piano Company, 600 SE Stark St., 295-1180. 4 pm Saturday, June 8. Donation.

DANCE Agnieszka Laska Dancers

Thursdays Through Sundays @730PM Tickets $15 Festival Pass $50

AT COHO Theater 2257 NW Raleigh ST

CoHoProductions.org 50

Willamette Week JUNE 5, 2013 wweek.com

The Rite of Spring, a ballet written by Russian composer Igor Stravinsky and performed in Paris in 1913, is considered to be one of the most influential musical works of the 20th century. It turns 100 this year, and the Agnieszka Laska Dancers are commemorating it, accompanied by an orchestra led by Ken Selden. Lincoln Hall, Portland State University, 1620 SW Park Ave., 725-3307. 8 pm Friday, June 7. $10-$20.

Burlesque S’il Vous Plait

Burlesque school graduates Kerry Kaboom and Ambrosia B Cunning walk the plank for the first time. They’re joined by Dee Dee Pepper, Mamie Demure and special guest Boom Boom L’Roux of Seattle. Crush, 1400 SE Morrison St, 2358150. 9 pm Friday, June 7. $10. 21+.

representation of Sartre’s work, which depicts the afterlife of three people punished by being locked in a room together. The performance is a benefit for Portland choreographer Danielle Ross, whose latest work, Together We Fall, will be performed in excerpts Performance Works NW, 4625 SE 67th Ave., 777-1907. 8 pm Thursday-Saturday, June 6-8. $14-$50, sliding scale.

Northwest Dance Project

An original work by Portland choreographer Minh Tran is the only world premiere in this year’s installment of the Northwest Dance Project’s Summer Splendors, a show that is usually nothing but new work. No matter, though; Tran is a provocative choreographer influenced by his Vietnamese roots and training in modern dance, and the reprised works are good choices from past Summer Splendors shows. Among those is Sarah Slipper’s dramatic duet MemoryHouse, which juxtaposes relationships and flour throwing. Also returning to stage is Loni Landon’s disjointed trio Covered, as well as Carla Mann’s elegant Illumine, in which dancers gracefully maneuver around a ballroom scene. Northwest Dance Project Studio & Performance Center, 833 N Shaver St., 421-7434. 7:30 pm WednesdaysSaturdays and 4 pm Sundays through June 16. $30-$40.

PICA Field Guide: Dance

The Portland Institute for Contemporary Art is trying to help audiences “get” dance. Its workshop Getting Over Getting It will be in conjunction with Emily Johnson’s performance of Niicugni and will go through basic dance movements, as well as discussion about themes and context. Bay Area choreographer Keith Hennessy will help steer discussion. BodyVox Dance Center, 1201 NW 17th Ave., 229-0627. 6 pm Saturday, June 8. $24-$30.

Phoenix Variety Revue

Burlynomicon

Burlesque madame and drag performer Zora Phoenix hosts her monthly variety show, this time featuring Sophie Maltease, Fannie Fuller, Hyacinth Lee and special guest from Seattle Boom Boom L’Roux. Kelly’s Olympian, 426 SW Washington St., 228-3669. 8 pm Sunday, June 9. $10. 21+.

No Exit

What is perhaps Portland’s most unpredictable dance company premieres nine works. Part of its X-Posed showcase, this show has a twist: Company members curated all of the pieces. Dancers created some works anew and picked other works created by outside choreographers. The show’s name, aptly, is Hand Picked. Polaris Contemporary Dance Center, 1501 SW Taylor St., 380-5472. 7:30 pm Thursday-Saturday, June 6-8 and Wednesday-Saturday, June 12-15. $17.50-$25.

Some of Portland’s newest burlesque dancers take off their training bras with help from more experienced standbys. The Mad Marquis hosts the darkly comic show featuring dancers Roulette Rose, Layne Fawkes and Niira Nonymous. Making a guest appearance from Seattle is the “Nearly Naked Nerd,” aka Scarlett O’Hairdye. The Lovecraft, 421 SE Grand Ave., 971-270-7760. 9:30 pm Tuesday, June 11. $5. 21+.

A piece by San Franciso-based French choreographer Christine Bonansea is an unnerving take on the Jean-Paul Sartre play of the same name. Three dancers appear insane and tormented as they frantically writhe and rush around the stage, all while basking in dark red light that makes the scene look like the pits of hell. Demonic music adds to the effect, as do random screams. The piece is a perfect

Polaris Dance Theatre

For more Performance listings, visit

VISUAL ARTS

JUNE 5–11

Range

= WW Pick. Highly recommended. By RICHARD SPEER. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit show information—including opening and closing dates, gallery address and phone number—at least two weeks in advance to: Visual Arts, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: rspeer@wweek.com.

Arless Day, Edvard Munch

It would be hard to think of a twoartist exhibition with more dramatic contrasts than the double bill of Arless Day and the late Edvard Munch (1863-1944). Day’s gouache-and-collage pieces are the essence of airiness. With their expansive compositions and exquisite handling of natural light, they seem to waft into your lungs and breathe with you. Munch, on the other hand, distilled a uniquely angst-filled brand of claustrophobia. He was most famous for his paintings and drawings of The Scream, but Augen presents a lesser-known selection of his innovative prints, which contain eerie, symbolist imagery that can be downright spooky. Bipolars, beware: This show may send you whiplashing between the extremes of Day’s expansive tableaux and Munch’s dense mindscapes. June 6-29. Augen DeSoto, 716 NW Davis St., 224-8182.

First Friday Open Studios

The historic Portland Storage Building is becoming an increasingly chic artist hub these days. For June’s First Friday, the building is opening its doors to the public for its second-ever open studios. Twenty-six artists will let you walk into their spaces, look at their work and maybe throw you something to nosh on or imbibe. The area under the east end of the Morrison Bridge is getting hella-hip these days, partly due to the influx of artists into Portland Storage. This event affords a chance to check out this nascent civic and artistic transformation firsthand. 5-9 pm Friday, June 7. Portland Storage Building Artist Studios, 215 SE Morrison St.

Flight

The Falcon Art Community, recently featured in a WW cover story by Aaron Mesh (“Rise of the Falcon,” March 20, 2013), partners with P:ear for the group exhibition Flight. The paintings, mixed-media work and music in the show are the products of several months of workshops between Falcon artists and P:ear youth. June 6-July 26. P:ear, 338 NW 6th Ave., 228-6677.

HEADS

Curator Alex Frum zooms in on the human head as an aesthetic trope in the 11-artist show HEADS. Painters, illustrators and a sculptor interpret the subject matter in a contemporary light, even as they nod and wink at antecedents like the classical bust and cheesy photographic “head shots.” Frum is a fashion portrait photographer, and his eye for intense saturation and sharp angles guided his selection of artists for this exhibition, among whom are painter Dan Ness and mixed-media artist Richard Schemmerer. Through June 9. Mark Woolley Gallery @ Pioneer, 700 SW 5th Ave., 3rd floor, Pioneer Place Mall, 998-4152.

Isamu Noguchi: We Are the Landscape of All We Know

The late Japanese-American sculptor Isamu Noguchi (1904-1988) was a master of integrating natural and industrial materials with dueling Eastern and Western sensibilities. To create this one-time-only, nontraveling exhibition, the Japanese Garden’s artistic curator, Diane Durston, worked with Matthew Kirsch at the Isamu Noguchi Foundation in New York to bring 22 of Noguchi’s sculptures to Portland. This is the perfect setting for the work, amid the verdant hillside landscaping, rock gardens and sounds of birdsong and flowing water. For a dose of tranquility and high culture during the course of a busy week, it doesn’t get much better than this. Through July 21. Portland Japanese Garden, 611 SW Kingston Ave., 223-1321.

New Views

Samantha Wall’s graphite-and-charcoal drawings made a big impression in the Marylhurst Art Gym’s January-February show. With their melding of controlled gradations and blazing photorealism, they showcased a gloriously obsessive technique. Wall is one of six artists in New Views at Laura Russo, joining Sahar Fattahi, Jo Hamilton, Ruth Lantz, Loren Nosan and Ahmad Rafiei in what promises to be a varied and well-considered show. June 6-29. Laura Russo Gallery, 805 NW 21st Ave., 226-2754.

“Viva Venezia!” is probably the phrase on Oregon-based artist James Lavadour’s lips these days. He was invited to participate in the famed art showcase known as La Biennale di Venezia (the Venice Biennial), which began June 1 and continues through Nov. 24. Back here in Stumptown, Lavadour’s abstracted landscapes are part of an eight-person group show this month at PDX Contemporary. He is joined by Anne Appleby, Victoria Haven, Johannes Girardoni, Wes Mills, Megan Murphy, Jane Timken, and Leigh Wells. Through June 29. PDX Contemporary Art, 925 NW Flanders St., 222-0063.

June 11 | 7:30 pm ARLENE SCHNITZER CONCERT HALL

The Dishwasher Project

While Portland restaurants collect more kudos from the international press, the people who work quietly in the back of the house do the things that are easy to take for granted, such as washing dishes. Painter Natalie Sept and photographer Israel Bayer have documented the lives of local dishwashers since 2010, interviewing and pictorially documenting them at establishments like Radio Room, Papa Haydn, Mother’s Bistro and Clyde Common. The motto for this project could be, “Behind every successful restaurant is a good dishwashing team.” The project takes an affectionate, long-overdue look at these underappreciated workers. 6-9 pm Thursday, June 6. The Cleaners, 403 SW 10th Ave.

The Perfect Gift for Father’s Day!

AVAILABLE NOW

Uncontrollable Urge

You’ve heard of the yeti, right? You know, the Abominable Snowman? But Yeti is also the name of a multiformat journal edited by Mike McGonigal, who conceived the project as “a general-interest magazine for those with marginal interests.” Thirty artists from around the world, including seven based in Portland, will exhibit artwork featured in Yeti’s pages through the years, much of it with a lowbrow or selftaught aesthetic. The show coincides with the publication of Yeti issue No. 13. To miss it would be… abominable. Through June 14. Portland Museum of Modern Art, 5202 N Albina Ave., 953-0515.

For ticket information: OrSymphony.org | 503-228-1353

For more Visual Arts listings, visit

PHOTOGRAPH BY ISRAEL BAYER FOR THE DISHWASHER PROJECT Willamette Week JUNE 5, 2013 wweek.com

CULTURE

VANIFEST DESTINY

H AW K K R A L L

WHEN IN ROAM WHY I LEFT A COMFY JOB AND SWEET APARTMENT IN OHIO TO LIVE IN A VAN IN PORTLAND. BY PE T E COT T E L L

pcottell@wweek.com

I’m lying on the backseat of a busted old conversion van that reeks of oil and cigar smoke in the parking lot of a Space Age gas station near the Portland- Gresham border. It’s not quite 6 am, and I’m trying to sleep. But a man who looks like the strung-out ghost of River Phoenix will not shut up. He’s posted up on the hood of an Impala parked next to my van in a dirty Detroit Pistons Starter jacket. He spends a good 20 minutes exclaiming gibberish to someone he kept calling “Toothy” through a disposable flip phone. Between his fiendish chatter, phantom noises from the van’s diseased engine, and the skittering of other transients waiting for the nearby plasma clinic to open, it’s been a long night. I have learned an important lesson: Now that I live in a van, I will no longer park outside plasma clinics. Or anywhere near Gresham. Two weeks ago, I was living a relatively cushy life back in Columbus, Ohio. I had a decent job as an assistant manager of a local cafe, a grossly underpriced apartment in a desirable neighborhood, and a massive constellation of friends everexpanding since my graduation from Ohio State University in 2007. My job afforded me the liberty to show up hung over on a daily basis and skip town with just a week’s notice, luxuries that I assumed drove my attorney friends insane with jealousy. I spent the better part of five years kicking the can down the road with the assumption that “growing up” was as easy as waking up one day and declaring yourself officially

with me. She let me know that with my long tenure and dedication to the craft of coffee making, I was just as disposable as I was the day I walked in the door a broke and confused 24-year-old. Disheartened by the reality of being a lot less important than I allowed myself to believe, I spent the slow parts of most mornings staring out the window. I watched a guy I remembered from a computer science course in college illegally park his Land Rover in front my shop and dart across the street to the Starbucks that had been burying my store, and wondered where our paths had diverged in such radical ways. Juggling an iPhone, a set of keys and a frozen brown drink covered in whipped cream and caramel, he climbed back into his SUV, made an abrupt U-turn, and sped toward downtown.

van during business hours. It became obvious that no one really gave a shit. It finally accrued a ticket for being parked for more than two hours in a zone that required a parking permit. Then it vanished. I started thinking about the life I’d made for myself up to this point. I took careful inventory of what I had. With the exception of my computer, a closet half-stocked with plaid shirts and Levis I purchased secondhand and some camping equipment, there wasn’t a whole lot of stuff that I needed to keep me going. I threw the essentials in a heap that took up about half of the surface area of my busted queen-size bed, took a hesitant step away from the giant mess, and felt a strange, warm feeling envelop my body.

“JUST BECAUSE I LIVE IN A VAN DOESN’T MEANT I NEED TO SLEEP THROUGH THE HOWLS OF ZOMBIFIED PLASMA DONORS.” an adult. My friends were running laps around me. Dread started to overtake me when I realized I was quickly transitioning from charismatically underemployed lovable fuckup to bitter, college-educated service-industry lifer. I spent the better part of the winter showing up to work in an existential funk. My malice for yokels ordering Starbucks drinks at my non-Starbucks shop started to bubble past manageable levels. I found myself doing strange things, like pouring drinks into my empty left hand and onto the floor because I forgot to pick up a cup to serve as a receptacle for the liquid. The president of my company took notice and urged my boss to have a chat 52

Willamette Week JUNE 5, 2013 wweek.com

Within a few minutes, his spot was snatched by a grungy old conversion van with tan racing stripes and tinted windows. Between customers, I kept glancing at the van, becoming increasingly curious. The windows and the area behind the captains chairs were blocked out by ugly curtains, making whatever may have been happening inside the thing a complete mystery to passersby. The van remained in the same spot for three days, lingering like the random dirty wet sock you inexplicably find on the sidewalk that everyone would rather look at with a confused grimace rather than be the person who finally tosses it in the trash. No one was seen entering or exiting the

“My life can totally fit in a van.” My head burst apart at the realization that getting stuck in a place I wasn’t in love with was soon to be a thing of the past. I rushed to my computer, googled “how to live in a van” and dove headlong into a vagabond rabbit hole. Within just a few clicks, I stumbled upon a Yahoo group devoted to all things “Vandwelling” that has almost 9,000 members as I write this. A massive community of radically diverse individuals have banded together for the sake of sharing tricks of the trade, as well as the story of how they chose to turn their back on conspicuous consumption. They’re everywhere. But I had to be somewhere. Where would a weirdo with

aspirations to be functionally homeless as a means of growing up go? I first visited Portland last September, and it only took two hours to feel what so many have trouble expressing with words: The “Weird” thread runs through the fabric of daily life in these parts. Where better to begin a journey inward undertaken while living in the back of an ugly old conversion van bought for $1,100 at a sketchy used-car lot with a doublewide for an office? And so I drove out for Sasquatch in May, and I plan to live here in a van until MusicfestNW in September. Maybe longer. As soon as the mechanic’s shop adjacent to the plasma clinic finished extensive repairs the van required to get up to DEQ standards, I left that filthy strip mall. Just because I live in a van doesn’t mean I need to sleep through the howls of zombified plasma donors. So I drove into Portland proper, rolling aimlessly throughout Southeast for a good half-hour, soaking up my surroundings. This city is lousy with crusty old vans. I found a street littered with old Volkswagens and Chevy cargo vans caked in stickers from the 1996 Vans Warped Tour. I parked under one of the many tall trees that make Portland such a beautiful place to call home, and slept like a rock. If it weren’t for the crowing of my new neighbor’s urban rooster, I probably would’ve slept until noon. ALONG FOR THE RIDE: Pete Cottell will be living in a van, in Portland, all summer. Look for his Vanifest Destiny column at wweek.com.

CULTURE

HANDOLIO / CC

VANIFEST DESTINY

WESTY WEALTH: Many Volkswagen Westfalia owners also have regular houses.

WHO LIVES IN THAT VAN? Look down your street. Even if you live in the West Hills, there’s a good chance you’ve got a van or two parked nearby. Vans are everywhere in Cascadia—and some of them double as houses. VOLKSWAGEN WESTFALIA The van equivalent of a big loft apartment in a trendy area furnished by Design Within Reach. Complete with shore-power hookups, a fold-out bed, a built-in propane camping stove, and a handful of other optional amenities, very little is needed to convert these camper vans into livable abodes. Price, scarcity and mechanical reliability often put the Westfalia out of reach of those who are closer to the homeless end of the van-life spectrum. Approachability: High, both literally and figuratively. Westy dwellers are generally harmless idealists who would love to share their stories of life on the road over a cup of Yerba Mate. Buy: Older models can be found for as little as $3,000, but don’t expect to take it on a soul-searching road trip without bringing a mechanic or spending at least $9,000. TOYOTA PREVIA “The Egg” may be the most mechanically sound oddity ever imported to our shores. The Previa is awkward in a “this might be what the future looks like!” kind of way, but, goddamn, these things run forever. It’s more spacious than today’s Sienna without the hulking frame and mushy suspension of a full-size van. Approachability: Few vans are unsexier than the Previa, which may lead dwellers to remain shy about the fact that everything they own is in a heap behind the front seats. Buy: Expect to pay $2,000 for one that runs, or $800 for a project. DODGE RAM For those aspiring A-Team types, nothing tops the manly, no-nonsense design of the Ram. A windowless Ram cargo van suited up in black primer and outfitted with all-terrain tires is an unstoppable force. Laugh like a maniac as you fly over speed bumps at 32 mph with Ride the Lighting blasting from the tape deck. Just keep it a good 200 feet from schools and playgrounds. It’s popular among doom-metal and stoner bands with monosyllabic names that schlep thousands of dollars’ worth of Empire cabinets. And child predators. Approachability: Unless “FREE CANDY” is spray-painted on the side, give the van a knock. Buy: A no-frills, windowless cargo van can be yours for around $1,500, while a classy conversion can be had for $3,200. FORD ECONOLINE The most diverse selection of vans under one brand, the Ford Econoline series is a common choice among thrifty van enthusiasts. Drive by a bowling alley on a Friday night, and you’re likely to find some truly haute E-150s patiently waiting for their owners to finish up their MGD-fueled debates about the ultimate Rush record. Third-party conversion companies such as Starcraft, Vanquest and Glaval were pimping Econolines back when MTV was still playing music videos, leaving van enthusiasts with some righteous relics of the ’90s that come with VHS/TV combos, power-operated fold-down seats and faux-wood accents. Buy: If you spent $2,000 on an E-150 that an old lady had stashed away in her backyard for years, you spent $500 too much. Willamette Week JUNE 5, 2013 wweek.com

BOOKS

JUNE 5–11

= WW Pick. Highly recommended. By PENELOPE BASS. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit lecture or reading information at least two weeks in advance to: WORDS, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: words@wweek.com. Fax: 243-1115.

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 5 The Guttery

Meeting weekly since 2007, the Portland-based, invite-only writers group the Guttery critiques and hones a variety of writing styles from poetry to memoir. Sharing their work for a public reading will be members David Cooke, Bruce Greene, Beth Marshea, Lara Messersmith-Glavin, A. Molotkov, Brian Reeves, Kip Silverman, CarrieAnn Tkaczyk and Robin Troche. St. Johns Booksellers , 8622 N Lombard St., 283-0032. 7 pm. Free.

new memoir is Smile at Strangers: And Other Lessons in the Art of Living Fearlessly. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 2284651. 7:30 pm. Free.

TUESDAY, JUNE 11 Amanda Coplin

What happens when two pregnant teenagers on the run drop in on a lonely fruit farmer? No, it’s not a Three’s Company spinoff; it’s Portland author Amanda Coplin’s debut novel, The Orchardist. Coplin

will read from and discuss the book. Broadway Books, 1714 NE Broadway, 284-1726. 7 pm. Free.

Jessica Wapner

In 1959, the detection of a missing piece of DNA from a single human cell led to a huge series of scientific and medical breakthroughs, ultimately leading to the first successful treatment of cancer at the genetic level. Jessica Wapner’s new book, The Philadelphia Chromosome, tracks the events that led to, and followed, the significant discovery. Joining her in conversation will be Brian Druker, director of the Knight Cancer Institute. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 2284651. 7:30 pm. Free.

For more Books listings, visit

THURSDAY, JUNE 6

Give!Guide 2013!

Scott Nadelson and Jay Ponteri

Continuing their self-depricating, comically tragic “Love Will Tear Us Apart” book tour, local authors Scott Nadelson and Jay Ponteri will each read from their new books. Nadelson’s memoir, The Next Scott Nadelson: A Life in Progress, follows the author over the course of a few grim years during which, among other things, his fiancee leaves him for a woman and his cat slowly dies. Ponteri’s book, Wedlocked: A Memoir, explores his own infatuation with another woman, writing a book about said infatuation and what happens when his wife discovers said book. Broadway Books, 1714 NE Broadway, 284-1726. 7 pm. Free.

SATURDAY, JUNE 8 W

A LL

M E T TE WE EK

GIVE! GUIDE 2013

Willamette Week’s 2013 Give!Guide

Night is Simply a Shadow

Showcasing the work of late Oregon poet Greta Wrolstad, Tavern Books will host a book release for the posthumous publication of Wrolstad’s second collection of poetry, Night is Simply a Shadow. Local poets will read a selection of her work, and the editors of the project will discuss the process of assembling a posthumous collection of work. Division Leap, 6635 N Baltimore St., Suite 132, 206-7291. 7:30 pm. Free.

Lauren Beukes

Torn between picking up a futuristic sci-fi novel or a classic crime thriller? There’s no need to decide with Lauren Beukes’ new novel, The Shining Girls, about a time-traveling serial killer. Throw in Ryan Gosling as a tormented but altruistic detective, and you’ve got yourself a movie in the making! Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 228-4651. 4 pm. Free.

SUNDAY, JUNE 9 The Studio Series

Sharing a selection of their work for this month’s Studio Series poetry reading and open mic will be Washington state poet laureate Kathleen Flenniken and Oregon state poet laureate Paulann Petersen. The open mic will follow, you know, after the two poet laureates read their work. Have fun following that. Stonehenge Studios, 3508 SW Corbett Ave., 224-3640. 7-9 pm. Free.

MONDAY, JUNE 10

Applications NOW OPEN at wweek.com/giveguide 54

Willamette Week JUNE 5, 2013 wweek.com

Susan Schorn

Finding herself becoming inexplicably overwhelmed by fear, author Susan Schorn decides to take up karate. In doing so, she learns not only how to break a board with her fist but how to stand up to her boss and overall start kicking ass and taking names, metaphorically. Her

REVIEW

JON MOOALLEM, WILD ONES The conservation of American wildlife is not a happy story. Well, not one Jon Mooallem would read his 2-year-old daughter before bedtime. His debut book, Wild Ones: A Sometimes Dismaying, Weirdly Reassuring Story About Looking at People Looking at Animals in America (Penguin Press, 339 pages, $27.95), is a Even more dead polar bears. bleak account of species preservation in our country, one that poses far more philosophical questions than Mooallem could ever hope to answer within his lucid prose. “After everything I’d seen, I had no solution for fixing a broken world,” Mooallem writes toward the end. “But, then again, that’s only one of the problems we’re facing. Another is just figuring out how we are supposed to live in a broken world.” Mooallem, a contributing writer to The New York Times Magazine and San Francisco’s Pop-Up Magazine, began the project as a way to imbue his young daughter with a real world of animals as opposed to the fictional ones we often create in our heads when we’re young. Although Wild Ones frames the book using the plight of three endangered animals—the polar bear, the Lange’s metalmark butterfly and the whooping crane—it also plumbs the perplexities that arise when humans are faced with a problem of their own creation. Though structured around the bear, butterfly and crane, the book also features passages regarding sun-blocking flocks of passenger pigeons, whale-loving conservationists and the tale of how Theodore Roosevelt inspired the teddy bear by refusing to fire on a mangy black bear during a Mississippi hunt in 1902. Mooallem’s historical context and scientific research are significant, but it’s the characters’ personal accounts and the heartwrenching anecdotes that drive the problems home, whether it’s the stories of former construction workers who help whooping cranes migrate annually or the harrowing scene in which photographer Dan Cox films a polar bear cub convulse from starvation instead of taking action. There are uplifting species success stories, the American crocodile, for instance, but they’re clearly outweighed by failed attempts and “shifting baselines.” As the long and specific title suggests, it’s truly a story about our interactions with animals. The only part of the title missing, then, is whatever was supposed to be “weirdly reassuring.” BRANDON WIDDER. GO: Jon Mooallem reads at Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 228-4651, on Tuesday, July 11. Black Prairie, featuring members of the Decemberists, will perform songs from Wild Ones, a soundtrack album created to accompany Mooallem’s book. Noon. Free.

JUNE 5–11

Flamingos

= WW Pick. Highly recommended. Editor: REBECCA JACOBSON. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, send screening information at least two weeks in advance to Screen, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: rjacobson@wweek.com. Fax: 243-1115.

After Earth

D A millennium from now, humanity

has abandoned Earth. But after their ship crash-lands, Gen. Cypher Raige (Will Smith) and his son Kitai (Jaden Smith) are forced to return to this forsaken planet. Cypher has broken both of his legs, so Kitai must set out alone against feral megafauna and rough terrain to find a rescue beacon, with Cypher giving instructions via radio. “Do exactly as I tell you,” Cypher says, “and we will survive.” With Cypher constantly imploring Kitai to take a knee, the whole quest feels like Kitai is the quarterback and Cypher the coach of a futuristic (though still stereotypical) football team, complete with in-helmet walkie-talkie. It’s unclear whether the wooden performances should be chalked up to director M. Night Shyamalan and his atrocious work of late—his name appears only in the small print of the film’s posters— or to the Smith family’s fatigue as the only central characters. For what it’s worth, pervasive CGI is well-integrated into the exotic locations. With Will Smith credited for the story and writer Gary Whitta working with Shyamalan on the screenplay, here’s one bit of welcome news: In 1000 years, the Shyamalan twist is no longer allowed. PG-13. MITCH LILLIE. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Cornelius, Oak Grove, Sandy.

American Drug War 2: Cannabis Destiny

[ONE NIGHT ONLY] A new documentary from Kevin Booth about cannabis research. Living Room Theaters. 7 pm Thursday, June 6.

Blancanieves

B- All filmmakers who tackle fairy

tales give the stories their own spin. Take two other recent Snow White adaptations: In Mirror Mirror, the evil queen wears a facial mask of parrot poop, and in Snow White and the Huntsman, she bathes in milky goop while Snow promenades through an enchanted forest filled with happy bunnies. Even so, when the dwarves in this Spanish adaptation of Snow White turn out to be bullfighters, it’s a twist that raises eyebrows. That’s not the only winking surprise in Pablo Berger’s silent black-and-white film, which livens up the Teutonic original with bullfighting, a rhythmic flamenco score and even a BDSM-practicing stepmother (a thoroughly campy Maribel Verdú) who outfits her lover in a collar and leash. Here, Snow White is the daughter of a famous toreador who is gored and paralyzed on the same day his wife dies. There’s an obligatory period of mistreatment and loneliness at the hands of her stepmother, after which Snow escapes with the friendly gang of dwarves on the bullfighting circuit. As with its cinematic cousin The Artist, Blancanieves uses intertitles sparingly, relying instead on exaggerated light and shadow, overwrought gesture and close-ups so extreme they might make you recoil. It’s visually and sonically stimulating, but the characters end up as flat or grotesque caricatures, and Berger seems more interested in surges of melodrama than in engaging storytelling. BDSM and bullfighting aside, there’s no heat. REBECCA JACOBSON. Living Room Theaters.

The Croods

B So here’s the thing: The Croods fails to conjure a complex or logically consistent world. It fails to populate that world with credible characters, or to usher those characters through a series of dramatically satisfying trials. But so what? This is primitive, prePixarian family entertainment at its most rambunctious. The Croods harks back to a simpler time when so-called “family films,” including animated features from major studios like Warner Bros. and DreamWorks, were permitted—nay, expected—to be willfully incoherent, so long as they served up thrills, spills, zingers, romance and a

healthy dose of innocuous schmaltz. In a nutshell: Nic Cage, voicing a knuckle-dragging caveman, cracks wise, pulls faces and delivers zany, halfcooked monologues on death and love and family amid stunning, oversaturated landscapes that evoke both Dr. Seuss and early Tex Avery-era Looney Tunes. Allow me to reiterate: Nic Cage, cavemen, zaniness. That’s all you need to know, that’s pretty much all you’ll get, and that ain’t necessarily a bad thing. PG. MARSHALL WALKER LEE. Clackamas, Forest, Indoor Twin, Kiggins.

Epic

B The words “from the makers of Ice Age and Robots” and “starring the voices of Beyoncé, Pitbull and Steven Tyler” don’t exactly inspire confidence in a summer animated release. In fact, based on the promotional materials for Blue Sky Studios’ Epic, one would be forgiven for thinking it was making a play for the pop-culture-addled throne of Shrek, or perhaps positioning itself as a modern-day FernGully full of heavy-handed environmental grandstanding. Those assumptions are, thankfully, very, very wrong. Epic is a sprawling, otherworldly adventure that combines the best elements of The Wizard of Oz and Lord of the Rings into a surprisingly poignant fairy tale. A troubled teen girl (Amanda Seyfried) is magically reduced to the size of an insect only to discover the flora and fauna are all living in an advanced society guarded by tiny soldiers called Leafmen and under attack by an evil king (Christoph Waltz). In terms of pure visual spectacle, Epic is a wonder. A tree stump becomes the dark castle from which an evil army plots world domination. Tiny soldiers dogfight through the skies atop hummingbirds and bats. Miraculously, none of this comes off as particularly cutesy. Most impressive, though, is the sense of wonder that permeates Epic. It isn’t perfect, but Epic nonetheless nails a balance of heart and popcorn fun. And that it doesn’t resort to a bunch of fart jokes or a sing-along between Beyoncé, Pitbull and the dude from Aerosmith truly sets it apart. PG. AP KRYZA. 99 West Drive-In, Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Cornelius, Oak Grove.

Fast & Furious 6

B- Watching the Fast& Furious

movies is a lot like getting stuck in a bar with a loud, muscle-bound drunk in an Ed Hardy shirt. At first, he’s pretty off-putting. Then you have a few rounds with him and realize he’s not really that bad. And five in, you start to realize the dude’s pretty fun. Sure, he’s loud, brash, gawdy, stupid, sexist, intense and tends to ramble incoherently, but he’s still really not that bad. And after six rounds—which is where we are in the F&F series—you really kinda like him. You’ve become a little numb, and it’s fun to watch him do crazy shit out of the blue. Maybe he’ll smash a pint over his head. Or drive a fuckin’ tank down a busy highway, smashing into everything he sees. Maybe his homie The Rock will show up, or his hot friend Gina Carano. And maybe they’ll fight each other. Then he’ll get a little incoherent, and you’ll start to lose interest. Until he totally fucking flips out and starts blowing up everything he can see. And then he’s kind of awesome again. Maybe you’re just drunk, but you kind of want to keep hanging out with him. And next morning, you’ve pretty much forgotten what went down. But at least you remember it was fun. PG-13. AP KRYZA. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Cornelius, Oak Grove, Sandy.

Finding Joy

A romantic comedy about a feisty young woman who asks a narcissistic writer to pen her obituary, which helps him rediscover happiness. Not screened for Portland critics. Living Room Theaters.

[ONE NIGHT ONLY] A low-budget film from Antero Alli about a hypnotistbank robber and the twin sisters who love him. Clinton Street Theater. 9 pm Tuesday, June 11.

Frances Ha

A- People have been trying to figure

out twentysomethings at least since Dustin Hoffman unzipped Anne Bancroft’s dress. In 2010, The New York Times Magazine ran a late-to-thegame article about a “new” life stage called “emerging adulthood” (a phrase coined by a psychology researcher a decade before) when self-indulgence and self-discovery collide. The exuberant and disarming Frances Ha is a portrait of one such emerging adult, shot in resplendent black-and-white and scored like a French New Wave film. As played with haphazard elegance by Greta Gerwig, Frances is a 27-yearold aspiring dancer in New York City still lurching through the obstacle course of a privileged post-collegiate life. Sometimes life is a playground, as when Frances and best friend Sophie (a snappy Mickey Sumner) play fight in Central Park or snuggle platonically in their apartment. And sometimes it’s a minefield, with the perils of adulthood blowing up without warning in Frances’ face, as when Sophie announces she’s moving out. While Sophie grows more serious about her hedge-fund boyfriend, Frances remains needy, frequently oblivious of others and prone to hogging conversations with directionless soliloquies. Yet she’s immensely likable. Gerwig strips her performance of affect or cutesiness; unlike those manic pixie dream girls, she’s not being quirky just to snag a guy. This non-romantic bent lends Frances Ha freshness, amplified by the rhythmic, sprightly screenplay, co-written by Gerwig and Noah Baumbach. “I’m not messy, I’m busy,” says Frances. Later, after a squabble, she sputters at Sophie: “Don’t treat me like a three-hour brunch friend!” It’s fluid yet fizzy, specific yet eminently relatable. In one of the loveliest moments, David Bowie’s “Modern Love” plays as Frances spins through the streets. Backpack bouncing, floralprint dress cutting a contrast with the crosswalk striping, she’s every bit the emerging adult: aimless yet hopeful, self-absorbed yet in wide-eyed awe at the big, beautiful world. And as the audience, we’re lucky to run alongside her. R. REBECCA JACOBSON. Cinema 21.

Free Samples

D+ [ONE NIGHT ONLY] You’re famil-

iar with the old adage “nothing in life is free.” Jay Gammill’s comedy Free Samples takes those words to heart. Possibly the most unpleasant human being in the world—or at least in Los Angeles—Jillian (Jess Weixler) is a hungover law-school dropout with daddy issues and a fiance she doesn’t talk to. So naturally, she’s the one handing out free samples of Mike’s Dream Ice Cream to the various passersby in an empty parking lot. Jillian is subbing for her one and only friend (Halley Feiffer), and with the free tastes of chocolate and vanilla she serves up a side of bitterness and sass. You kind of expect the lactose-intolerant guy who comes to the truck asking for soy ice cream to feel her wrath—but her dopey rocker-friend Wally (Jason Ritter), or the neighbor who asks that the truck’s music be turned down? Not so much. The highlight of the film comes in scenes between Weixler (who dryly deadpans her way through, adding just a bit of charm to Jillian’s unpleasantness) and Jesse Eisenberg, who plays Tex, the guy Jillian doesn’t remember meeting at the bar the previous night. But given that these exchanges account for maybe five of the film’s 80 minutes, they’re just a few sweet sprinkles on top of a very bitter sundae. KAITIE TODD. Clinton Street Theater. 9 pm Thursday, June 6.

From Up on Poppy Hill

B- The newest addition to Studio Ghibli’s emporium of wondrous Japanese animations is a tale of schoolgirl romance, containing all the delight but hardly the depth of Hayao Miyazaki’s Howl’s Moving Castle or

Spirited Away. Umi is a Cinderella of sorts, running her family’s coastal boarding house after her sailor father dies and her mother leaves to study in America. Her prince is daredevil activist Shun, who’s set on saving their school’s unkempt “Quartier Latin” student center. Set in a post-WWII Japan, the film’s young characters battle authority and discover love to a soundtrack that sounds like Asian Gershwin. This family affair—Miyazaki worked on the screenplay and his son Goro directed—is dreamlike, endearing and fiercely visual. But scenes of Umi gazing over a misty harbor fall short of the mystical wonder expected from the studio behind Howl’s living, teleporting mansion. PG. ENID SPITZ. Laurelhurst Theater.

Getting to Know You(Tube)

[ONE NIGHT ONLY] A guided tour through the depths of YouTube. ZOMG! BABY ANIMALS! Hollywood Theatre. 9:30 pm Monday, June 10.

G.I. Joe: Retaliation

D As “How You Like Me Now?” blares presumptuously over G.I. Joe: Retaliation’s end credits, dejected viewers will be excused for muttering, “I actually liked you a lot better before.” While this sequel/reboot boasts the same slapdash storytelling and risible dialogue as its predecessor, John M. Chu (Step Up 3D) can’t infuse the material with the same cartoonish energy Stephen Sommers lent 2009’s The Rise of Cobra. Displaying an aversion to outrageousness, this action

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REVIEW TOY ’ S H O U S E P R O D U C T I O N S

MOVIES

PIPELINE DREAMS: Gabriel Basso (from left), Moises Arias and Nick Robinson.

THE KINGS OF SUMMER As cops break up a high-school kegger, and a burly teenager frantically pumps a few extra shots of beer into his maw, two 14-year-old boys stumble into a forest. Intending only to evade police, what they find is far more: a moonlit clearing, as ethereal and lush as anything in FernGully. School is out for summer, the boys’ Ohio town offers no excitement, and their parents are growing ever more intolerable. But here, in this clearing, exist possibility, independence and—just as in FernGully—magic. Director Jordan Vogt-Roberts’ debut feature, The Kings of Summer, also crackles with its own off-kilter magic. The playful film follows three boys who ditch their parents, unannounced, to build a house in that enchanted clearing. It’s an impressive but whimsical palace of pilfered planks, an indoor slide and a Porta-Potty front door. The boys— smart but mischievous Joe (Nick Robinson), wrestler Patrick (Gabriel Basso) and oddball philosopher Biaggio (Moises Arias)—spend their days splashing in the river, scything watermelons in half with Biaggio’s machete and foraging in Boston Market dumpsters for fried chicken and potatoes. Their overbearing parents and the hapless detectives— despite living only a couple miles away—fail to find them. The premise may be absurd, but everything else in The Kings of Summer is unapologetically genuine. Rather than relying on clichéd quirks or excessive sarcasm—though Nick Offerman, as Joe’s dad, brings a healthy dose of deadpan hilarity—the film embraces big-hearted buoyancy. More than many coming-of-age narratives, the film nails both the frustration of adolescence and the unshakable wonder of teenage discovery. The boys ache to be men, but when faced with the challenges of growing up—namely a pretty girl who comes between them—they flail. Vogt-Roberts and screenwriter Chris Galletta take their characters’ concerns seriously, whether it’s the agony of unrequited love or the joy of banging sticks against a pipeline in the forest. Leads Robinson and Basso bring inherent likability and warmth to their roles: Theirs is a friendship you want to root for. As Biaggio, Arias provides a stream of puzzling non sequiturs. “I met a dog the other day that taught me how to die,” he squeaks. (He also produces one of the movie’s few clunkers, an unfunny line about confusing homosexuality with cystic fibrosis.) Though occasionally too sweet or thin, the film still manages to enchant. In a world where adults are blind to both reality and wonder, these teenage kings can truly rule. REBECCA JACOBSON. I want to be forever young.

B+

SEE IT: The Kings of Summer is rated R. It opens Friday at Fox Tower. Willamette Week JUNE 5, 2013 wweek.com

MOVIES

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flick instead traffics in garden-variety ridiculousness. Consequently, minor pleasures are the best it can muster, such as Jonathan Pryce’s mischievous turn as the Cobra terrorist who’s assumed the president’s identity. When he orders an airstrike that reduces the G.I. Joe ranks to Roadblock (Dwayne Johnson) and three others (who share a dozen lines between them), the supposedly international strike force holes up in an abandoned gym and calls on a retiree (Bruce Willis) and his NRA buddies for backup. Given such dreary alternatives, Snake Eyes (Ray Park) understandably defects for a vastly superior subplot featuring ninjas, RZA and cliffhanging melees. Ultimately, this over-the-top tangent only serves to illustrate just what a joyless slog the actual climax is. PG13. CURTIS WOLOSCHUK. Avalon, Milwaukie, Mt. Hood.

The Great Gatsby

C Baz Luhrmann’s adaptation of The Great Gatsby begins, appropriately enough, with decoration—a gold-filigreed frame that accordions outward in 3-D before suddenly cutting to a swimmy shot of some water, under a voice-over that dopily bastardizes the book’s opening lines. Then, yet another framing device. Turns out Nick Carraway (Tobey Maguire), the always-just-outside-the-action narrator of Gatsby, is telling the entire story of the movie to his psychologist. Well, it’s always good to let the crowd know what they’re in for: a little bit of pretty, a little bit of confusion, a whole lot of stupid. Luhrmann’s 1920s New York is a phantasmagoric spectacle, and the script lobotomizes the novel’s dialogue into amazing subcamp clunkers. But while Luhrmann’s Gatsby is a far cry from the novel by F. Scott Fitzgerald, it is in its own way quite affecting: Badly married silver-spooner Daisy Buchanan (Carey Mulligan) and besmirched tycoon Jay Gatsby (Leonardo DiCaprio) have been cast here not as cautionary tales, but as star-crossed lovers. DiCaprio plays the kid from Titanic grown up into a clueless Howard Hughes. Daisy’s a nice girl, too, though almost too sympathetic in Mulligan’s capable hands for her callow decisions to make sense. The movie’s a high-drama, high-saturation emotional spectacle. The contemporary soundtrack, despite a lot of knee-jerk criticism, isn’t overly distracting. The novel, for all the Jazz Age frenzy it depicts, plays a much softer music—and it is this music one recalls when thinking back on the book, the sadness and the subtle sense of doom contained in every misbegotten line uttered by its characters. Funny that in such a musical film, this music is the one thing Luhrmann couldn’t hear. PG-13. MATTHEW KORFHAGE. Fox Tower, Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, CineMagic, Roseway.

The Hangover Part III

D Five minutes into The Hangover Part III, Zach Galifianakis decapitates a giraffe with a freeway overpass, then basically kills his father. That these moments are played for guffaws (“He killed a giraffe. Who gives a fuck?” snickers Bradley Cooper) shows how blackened and mean the frat-comedy franchise got between the surprise megahit original and the lazy, cynical first sequel. But at least with those gags, writerdirector Todd Phillips appears to be trying. Otherwise, the third and, we’re assured, final movie in what’s been retroactively christened the “Wolfpack Trilogy” is somehow lazier and more cynical than the last. Tossing out the formula he recycled in Part II, Phillips drops a tepid crime-comedy in its place, the apparent intent being to bore audiences into never demanding another installment. An all-out parade of degradation would’ve given the series the conclusion it deserved, but the only one willing to truly wallow in shit is Ken Jeong, whose Asian minstrel show—used sparingly in the first film—overpowers the core trio, who can’t even

Willamette Week JUNE 5, 2013 wweek.com

N E G AT I V

NEWS

JUNE 5–11

ALOIS NEBEL bother. There’s no hangover in this Hangover, but the effort is that of employees forced into work the morning after the office party, who only want to survive the day and get back into bed. “We’re going to die, finally,” mutters Jeong’s Mr. Chow at one point. Let’s hope so. R. MATTHEW SINGER. Eddar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Cornelius, Living Room Theaters, Oak Grove, Sandy.

The Internship

Eight years after Wedding Crashers, Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn reunite as deadbeats who become interns at Google. Screened after WW press deadlines, but look for Jay Horton’s review at wweek. com. PG-13. Fox Tower, Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Cornelius, Lloyd Center, Oak Grove, Bridgeport, City Center, Pioneer Place, Tigard, Wilsonville, Sandy, St. Johns Twin.

Iron Man 3

A- Going dark, as superhero movies

are wont to do in the third round, without losing its charm, Iron Man 3 emerges as a top-tier superhero yarn that emphasizes something too often forgotten by its brethren: Comic-book movies are supposed to be fun. Here, our hero (the great Robert Downey Jr.) squares off against an Osama bin Ladentype villain known as the Mandarin (Ben Kingsley), a deranged scientist (Guy Pearce) and an army of super soldiers. In reuniting Downey with Kiss Kiss Bang Bang director Shane Black, Marvel has managed yet another home run in a series of blockbuster gambits. In Black— the man who invented the banterdriven buddy-cop genre with Lethal Weapon—Marvel has finally found a writer who can convey Stark’s gift for fast talk and self-deprecating barbs. He’s populated his film with loquacious henchmen, slapstick sight gags and enough putdowns to fuel 1,000 celebrity roasts. In keeping Stark out of his armor for much of the film, Black has crafted a superhero film that harks back to the golden years of summer action. Iron Man 3 isn’t just a fine superhero film. It isn’t just a fine action flick, either. It’s a film that embraces a mold before completely breaking it with out-of-left-field twists and turns that keep the viewer engaged and chuckling with alarming frequency. PG-13. AP KRYZA. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Cornelius, Indoor Twin, Oak Grove, Sandy.

Kon-Tiki

A- Whether you see it because it’s

about a guy named Thor braving Mother Nature, or because you can watch ripped Norwegian dudes sailing the Pacific in their tightywhities, or because you want to witness a shark getting stabbed in the head, the important thing is that you see Kon-Tiki. Based on the true story of Norwegian ethnographer Thor Heyerdahl, who set off in 1947 to float 5,000 miles from Peru to Polynesia on a balsa-wood raft, this gorgeously shot adventure flick is not only awesome because of the epic voyage that could easily fail. It’s awesome because of Heyerdahl’s

utter certainty that it will not. PG-13. EMILY JENSEN. Fox Tower.

Kung Fu Theater: Seven Grandmasters

[ONE NIGHT ONLY, REVIVAL] An aging kung fu teacher sets out to beat seven masters across China, where he’s met by sideburn-sporting villains and does some crazy monkey-style fighting. Hollywood Theatre. 7:30 pm Tuesday, June 11.

Living With Pride: Ruth C. Ellis @ 100

[ONE DAY ONLY, REVIVAL] Born in 1899, the LGBT activist Ruth C. Ellis was known as one of the first open, African-American lesbians. At the age of 100, she became the subject of Yvonne Weldon’s 1999 documentary, which recounts Ellis’ participation in the civil-rights movement in 1960s Detroit. Fifth Avenue Cinema. 3 pm Sunday, June 9.

Mud

B As with many stories about

coming of age under harsh circumstances, a mighty river runs through the center of Jeff Nichols’ Mud, a Southern-fried fable about two adolescent Arkansas boys whose childhoods are wrested from them. Yet unlike last year’s excellent Beasts of the Southern Wild, this is a fable more grounded in reality. But, much like Beasts, Mud is at heart the story of mighty forces encroaching on children’s innocence. The film centers on buddies Ellis (Tye Sheridan) and Neckbone (Jacob Lofland), who encounter Mud (Matthew McConaughey), a disheveled fugitive hiding out on an isolated island and waiting for his love to join him so they can flee. Ellis plays Pip to Mud’s Magwitch, delivering food and supplies in hopes of proving that true love conquers all. Meanwhile, vigilantes and crooked cops home in on the island. But what seems like a cutand-dry tale of a mythical bum is instead a rich story of adolescent confusion. Central to the entire narrative, though, is the river. As in The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn—another tale of a child and fugitive—it functions almost as a character, rising and falling with the narrative, hiding secrets in its murky depths and moving everything forward with its current. Mud is far from perfect, but it’s almost impossible not to get swept away by it. PG-13. AP KRYZA. Fox Tower, Clackamas, Hollywood Theatre.

New Czech Cinema: Alois Nebel

B [ONE NIGHT ONLY] Starkly animated in black-and-white rotoscoping—a method in which live actors’ performances are painted over— Tomáš Lunák’s Czech oddity Alois Nebel is glorious to look at, with a noirish aesthetic that resembles subdued Frank Miller. The story revolves around the titular train dispatcher, haunted by flashbacks of World War II and frequently visited by an ax-wielding mute with a grudge. It’s actually

JUNE 5–11

Now You See Me

C In an early scene in the magic-

heist movie Now You See Me, Jesse Eisenberg’s character gives an audience a piece of advice. “The more you think you see,” he says, “the easier it will be to fool you.” That’s apparently a tip director Louis Leterrier (The Incredible Hulk, Clash of the Titans) tried to follow, pulling from his bag of tricks plenty of glitz, a throbbing techno soundtrack and a camera that swirls as if on a merrygo-round and makes viewers just as dizzy. Unfortunately, being fooled by this flashy flick is no fun. An opening montage introduces us, Ocean’s Eleven-style, to our four magicians: the smartass cardsharp (Eisenberg), the charming but slightly shady mentalist (Woody Harrelson), the sexy escape artist (Isla Fisher, here to look good in miniskirts and do little else), and the streetwise pickpocket (Dave Franco, here to do even less than Fisher). Summoned by an unknown mastermind and christening themselves the Four Horsemen, they launch a series of heists. Why? Who knows! Not even, apparently, the Horsemen themselves. At their first show in Las Vegas, a “randomly chosen” audience member teleports to Paris to help the Horsemen rob a French bank, which causes 3.2 million Euros to rain down on the giddy spectators. This raises eyebrows at the FBI and Interpol, who begin trailing the wily illusionists. For a moment it seems the Horsemen might be Occupy types, modernday Robin Hoods who seek to return money to those who’ve been screwed over by banks and insurance companies. Yet they’re neither developed into well-drawn characters nor made into symbols of economic justice. Throughout, characters explain how magic is all about misdirection, about getting the audience to look away from where the real trick is happening. Too bad, then, that with all his interest in distracting the audience, Leterrier has left us nothing else to see. PG13. REBECCA JACOBSON. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Cornelius, Living Room Theaters, Oak Grove, Sandy.

Oblivion

C In terms of blockbuster source material, “based on an unpublished graphic novel” may not send pulses racing, but it at least offers the allure of the unknown. Joseph Kosinski— whose TRON: Legacy failed to make much of a commercial or critical impression—somehow convinced Universal execs to loosen their purse strings and make his unpublished comic a rendered-in-IMAX reality. And while his sophomore feature capably demonstrates his knack for envisioning and realizing alternate realms, it also confirms that he remains incapable of cobbling together a compelling story. Jack Harper (Tom Cruise) informs us it’s 2077, some 60 years after Earth was decimated during an alien invasion. Jack now resides with his “assigned” wife, Victoria (Andrea Riseborough), in a gleaming penthouse towering over an expansive wasteland. However, a throwaway line about “mandatory memory wipes” is destined to boomerang back and complicate matters. Alas, we practically have to wait until the 22nd century for the other shoe to drop and Julia (Olga Kurylenko) to crash from the heavens, claiming to be Jack’s real wife. In the interim, we’re left to marvel at the immaculate post-apocalyptic vistas and to lament Cruise’s continued devolution into an actionmovie automaton. PG-13. CURTIS WOLOSCHUK. Avalon, Laurelhurst Theater, Milwaukie, Mt. Hood, Valley.

Original Sin

[ONE NIGHT ONLY, REVIVAL] Panned by critics, this 2001 adaptation of Cornell Woolrich’s novel Waltz Into Darkness stars Antonio Banderas as a coffee salesman in late-19th-century Cuba who sends away for a mail-order bride—and receives Angelina Jolie. R. NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium. 7 pm Wednesday, June 5.

Oz the Great and Powerful

B Watching the spectacle that is

James Franco feels like watching a great con man. So it only makes sense to cast Franco as moviedom’s original master con man in Oz the Great and Powerful. In The Wizard of Oz, the “man behind the curtain” was nothing but a carnival magician using smoke and mirrors to maintain the illusion of power. Here, the curtain’s pulled back further to reveal the wizard’s origins as a hack transported from Kansas to Oz, where he must take on an evil witch to save the Munchkins and talking monkeys. But in the hands of director Sam Raimi, L. Frank Baum’s world comes fantastically to life. It’s a carnival magician of a film overflowing with imagination, and to those who come ready to believe, its magic is undeniable. PG. AP KRYZA. Avalon, Bagdad, Kennedy School, Milwaukie, Mt. Hood, St. Johns, Valley.

The PDX Film Festival

[ONE NIGHT ONLY] A selection of short, locally made films presented by the PDX Film Club and Stumptown Movie Makers. Fifth Avenue Cinema. 8 pm Saturday, June 8.

The Pit and the Pendulum

[ONE WEEK ONLY, REVIVAL] The 1961 adaptation of Edgar Allan Poe’s tale about a 16th-century Englishman whose trip to Spain turns torturous. Laurelhurst Theater.

The Place Beyond the Pines

C+ Among the things that made director Derek Cianfrance’s breakout feature, Blue Valentine, so powerful was its extremely limited scope. With The Place Beyond the Pines, Cianfrance expands this scope, enveloping two families across more than a decade of distress, triumph and tragedy. Yet somewhere along the way, the director loses the heart that marked his previous triumph. The Place Beyond the Pines packs bravura performances across a sprawling narrative. But it’s also about 60 minutes longer than it needs to be, and runs out of gas after its remarkable first act. It’s a film that’s completely overstuffed, and oftentimes overcooked. In the film’s most captivating section, we’re introduced to Luke (Ryan Gosling), a carnival stuntman who discovers he’s sired a son. As he turns to robbing banks, he crosses paths with a rookie cop (Bradley Cooper), who himself comes across massive corruption. Were that not enough, the film then fast-forwards 15 years to peer into the clichéd lives of the pair’s sons. Had Cianfrance given his characters more room to breathe, the film might transcend the genre trappings it falls into so easily. In widening his lens, the director loses focus on the big picture. R. AP KRYZA. Fox Tower, Hollywood Theater, Kennedy School.

The Purge

Ethan Hawke stars in this thriller about a family trying to protect itself in a dystopian world where, for a single night each year, all crime becomes legal. Screened after WW press deadlines, but look for Curtis Woloschuk’s review at wweek.com. R. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Cornelius, Sandy.

The Sapphires

B+ According to crusty Irish boozer

Dave—played with impeccable comic charm by Chris O’Dowd, Kristen Wiig’s cop boyfriend in Bridesmaids— country-western and soul music are both rooted in loss. The difference, Dave says, is that while country-western stars whine about it, soul singers fight desperately for redemption. That exuberant sense of resilience takes center stage in first-time filmmaker Wayne Blair’s massively entertaining tale about an Australian Aboriginal girl

band that travels to Vietnam to entertain American troops in 1968. Loosely based on a true story (Blair’s mother was a member of the original group), The Sapphires butts up against serious issues, most prominently racial tension and the trauma of war. But between the spirited songs, big-hearted story line and hypersaturated cinematography, this is a film that unapologetically encourages finger-snapping rather than head-scratching—and bless its spangled heart for that. PG-13. REBECCA JACOBSON. Fox Tower.

Scatter My Ashes at Bergdorf’s

B- At an advance screening of Matthew Miele’s documentary, a fellow viewer joked to her friend: “It’s basically a giant advertisement for Bergdorf Goodman.” As it turns out, the jest largely comes true. This gaudy tribute to New York’s beloved department store mimics the surgery-lifted faces of its saggy fashionista interviewees: It only passes as authentic if you don’t look too closely. Aside from the footage of artists crafting the store’s spectacular annual window display, which is legitimately impressive, the film drags through bland and redundant segments that simply reiterate that Bergdorf’s is a highfalutin bastion of richies and the innovative designers that dress them—in other words, nothing more than a very long commercial. And if you deign to park your posterior in a theater seat where so many common asses have sat before, then you’re likely not fit to breathe the vapid air inside this great hall of consumerism. Around these parts, where rappers worship thrift shops and pooh-pooh Prada, this flick will probably fall on deaf ears. EMILY JENSEN. Living Room Theaters.

Spring Breakers

B- The words “spring break” are

shortcomings. R. MICHAEL NORDINE. Laurelhurst Theater.

repeated so often in Spring Breakers that they eventually begin to lose their meaning. The phrase takes on a mantralike quality in Harmony Korine’s most outwardly conventional outing to date. Neon lights, blinged-out cribs and James Franco’s white-trash gangsta rapper Alien make this akin to an art-house installment of Girls Gone Wild crossed with Scarface—with all the surface allure and occasional vapidity that licentious description implies. The many Skrillex-scored party sequences, though gorgeously filmed, never quite transcend their own vacuousness. That said, an utterly sincere rendition of Britney Spears’ “Everytime,” performed by Alien and set to a violent montage, is an early contender for sequence of the year, and nearly enough to forgive the film’s

Star Trek Into Darkness

B When J.J. Abrams took over

the Star Trek universe in 2009, he managed the impossible by taking decades of mythology and boiling it down to something accessible to everyone. Abrams’ Trek was a hyperkinetic, rowdy, ass-whomping blast of smartass banter. In his second outing in the captain’s chair, Abrams hammers down on the throttle right in the opening, when we find Captain Kirk (Chris Pine) and Dr. McCoy (Karl Urban) getting all Raiders of the Lost Ark on a distant planet, where they’re being chased by primitive, claypainted natives, while Spock (Zachary Quinto) dives deep into a volcano to prevent an apocalyptic eruption. But

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REVIEW FOCUS WORLD

about a lot more than that, although those without a knowledge of Eastern European history will probably be lost during the film’s 80-minute running time. But damned if this isn’t a gorgeous place to be lost, and while the film may lack clear exposition, it more than makes up for it with a dazzling and original visual style. Also screening: In the Shadow, Men in Hope, Gypsy, The House and Flower Buds. AP KRYZA. NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium. 6 pm Sunday, June 9. For full schedule, see nwfilm.org.

MOVIES

Sightseers

B+ Ben Wheatley’s third feature

manages the difficult task of combining comedy, romance and horror into an ink-black road-trip comedy. Unlike Wheatley’s first two films—the gangster flick Down Terrace and the occult hit-man horror film Kill List—Sightseers genre-hops without sacrificing tone or losing focus on its characters. With its story of a murderous couple’s road trip, the film could have been a cheeky British take on Natural Born Killers. Yet there’s an undeniable sweetness to the film and its core players, two thirtysomething oddballs on a tour that includes stops at museums dedicated to trams and pencils. It’s a caravanning dream trip for the frumpy and overly gregarious Chris (Steve Oram), whose planned “erotic odyssey” with new flame Tina (Alice Lowe)—a lonely dog psychologist who spends her time crocheting crotchless panties—takes a very dark turn following an encounter with a litterbug. Wheatley shows off his gift for the bizarre, jackknifing the film between boring tourist traps and hallucinogenic nightmares, but Sightseers belongs to Lowe and Oram. The pair have an easy rapport, and their conversations, bickering and affection—largely improvised—make them exceedingly pleasant cinematic companions. It becomes easy to forgive their crimes, which are almost afterthoughts. That’s what makes Sightseers so challenging, and yet so strangely watchable. At no point do we leave the pair’s side, and as a result, we’re both implicated in their actions and horrified by them. But remove the murders, and Wheatley’s film would still stand as a quirky portrait of the blossoming and flawed love between two lost souls. It tugs at the heartstrings even as its heroes explode ventricles. AP KRYZA. Living Room Theaters.

Silver Linings Playbook

A- With Silver Linings Playbook, David

O. Russell emerges with one of filmdom’s funniest stories of crippling manic depression. If Frank Capra had made an R-rated flick for the Prozac generation, it would look like this. R. AP KRYZA. Laurelhurst Theater.

Specticast Concert Series: The Rolling Stones

[ONE NIGHT ONLY] A 1978 concert movie—here in a high-def upgrade— of the Rolling Stones in Fort Worth, Texas. Clinton Street Theater. 7 pm Thursday, June 6.

SHADOW FIGURE: Julian Assange (left) wanted $1 million to talk. He was not interviewed in this documentary.

WE STEAL SECRETS: THE STORY OF WIKILEAKS When Julian Assange exploded into the public consciousness as the face behind WikiLeaks, in the wake of the site’s publication of previously secret war logs from Afghanistan and Iraq, nearly everybody formed an immediate opinion of the white-haired Aussie. Some saw him as an anarchist savior ready to pull the wool from the eyes of the world. Others saw him as a terrorist revealing secrets that could endanger troops on the ground. Both those who defended and those who decried his actions were rabid in defense of their positions. With We Steal Secrets: The Story of WikiLeaks, lauded documentarian Alex Gibney traces Assange’s rise from teen hacker to international celebrity with the same verve and compelling storytelling that netted him an Oscar for the jarring Taxi to the Dark Side. We Sell Secrets manages the difficult task of humanizing the rise and fall of Assange and those in his orbit through heartbreaking interviews, shocking battlefield footage and in-depth interviews with those involved in and affected by the release of the information. (Assange was not interviewed, since the small-budget doc couldn’t afford $1 million for a conversation.) What emerges is an engaging combination of statistical analysis and character study that wisely eschews exclusive focus on Assange. In its most compelling moments, the film trains its lens on Bradley Manning, the young, isolated Army intelligence analyst who, despite WikiLeaks’ professed policy of never disclosing whistle-blowers’ identities, was arrested and held in solitary confinement after he supplied Assange with hundreds of thousands of files. Manning (whose trial just began) tells a story of confusion and betrayal through his text conversations with Assange and hacker Adrian Lamo, to whom he disclosed his gender-identity issues before being double-crossed. Meanwhile, the film takes great pains to paint Assange not as a martyr, villain, saint or terrorist, but as a man struggling with fame and commitment to his cause. “I’m untouchable,” Assange says when the first round of files hits the public. His hubris is shocking—especially for someone who spent his days hiding from public view strapped in a bulletproof vest—yet somehow rings true. Assange became the symbol everyone wanted him to be—for good or ill—but We Steal Secrets portrays him in a way few have imagined: as human. AP KRYZA.

Transparency made transparent.

B+ SEE IT: We Steal Secrets: The Story of WikiLeaks is rated R. It opens Friday at Living Room Theaters.

Willamette Week JUNE 5, 2013 wweek.com

Robert Ham maps the fringes of Portland music. Biweekly on wweek.com

JUNE 5–11

things get dark with the arrival of Benedict Cumberbatch, who launches a one-man war of terror on Starfleet before taking refuge in an isolated section of the planet Klingon, with which Earth is on the precipice of war. As with much of founder Gene Roddenberry’s work, there are echoes of current political sentiments spattered throughout Into Darkness, and the film slows down considerably when characters unleash cookie-cutter debates on duty and morality. Still, the cast elevates the proceedings. Pine brings the requisite swagger to the role made famous by William Shatner, while Quinto’s Spock manages multiple layers of humor, stoicism, intellect and badassery (yes, Spock gets to beat some ass). But it’s Cumberbatch who, unsurprisingly, steals the show. The actor, a superstar across the pond for his charismatic role in Sherlock, slips into the skin of a snake with ease, wrapping his tongue around each snarled threat with calculated menace. Into Darkness can’t match the verve of Abrams’ first outing, but it eclipses it in terms of character development and humor. Missteps aside, Abrams boldly goes where no Trekkie would dare by beaming in a wider audience to the cult of Trek—luring viewers in with the spectacle but keeping them salivating by pulling back preconceptions to reveal real humanity. PG-13. AP KRYZA. 99 West Drive-In, Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Cornelius, Forest, Moreland, Oak Grove, Sandy, St. Johns Twin.

Trance

B- As best I can tell, Trance is the

first film—outside porn, maybe— to have a plot that hinges on a woman’s pubic hair. Though the Goya painting that goes missing in this art-heist thriller is an image of cannibalistic male witches, the work that actually holds the secrets is a life-size female nude. That painting, also by Goya, is widely regarded as one of the first clear depictions of pubic hair, and it becomes a dippy device in Trance’s plot of obsession, hypnosis and abuse. Danny Boyle’s brashly maximalist film begins with narration from auction-house employee Simon (James McAvoy) on how to prevent an art heist. When smooth crook Franck (Vincent Cassel) busts in, we learn Simon is actually in on the crime. Then Simon is bonked on the head, leading him to forget where he’s stashed the valuable painting and getting him into deep shit with Franck and his thuggish comrades. From there, Simon enlists the assistance of bombshell hypnotherapist Elizabeth (Rosario Dawson) to recover his memories. With its tilted camera work, off-kilter reflections and thunderous electronica score, Trance can feel like a densely plotted music video. But as slick as the film can feel, it’s also at times a great deal of fun, thanks largely to the plucky cast. But even they can’t stop Trance from whooshing by, leaving viewers with throbbing ears and mildly dizzy heads, yet little sense of impact. R. REBECCA JACOBSON. Laurelhurst Theater.

The Tree of Life

A [THREE DAYS ONLY, REVIVAL]

“A man who writes of himself without speaking of God,” Hollywood screenwriter Ben Hecht wrote in his later days, “is like one who identifies himself without giving his address.” Terrence Malick gives precise geographical coordinates in The Tree of Life, a project that gestated in the mind of the director for 32 years. It turns out that God—or at least little Terry Malick’s first stirrings of the divine— was hiding in Waco, Texas. “Why should I be good if you aren’t?” asks Jack, the young protagonist— and at this point, the movie had my number so completely that I feared it would come up with a reason. It doesn’t, thank goodness. In its final sequence, a grown Jack (Sean Penn) rides up a Houston skyscraper and—in a probably unintentional nod to Willy Wonka’s Great Glass Elevator—ascends to

Willamette Week JUNE 5, 2013 wweek.com

BARRY WETCHER

MOVIES

NOW YOU SEE ME a healing vision of heaven. This is not very persuasive, and it doesn’t matter: What is so piercing about The Tree of Life is not that it knows life’s answers, but that it knows how the questions feel. PG-13. AARON MESH. Fifth Avenue Cinema. 7 and 9:30 pm Friday-Saturday, 3 pm Sunday, June 7-9.

Twilight Zone

[ONE NIGHT ONLY, REVIVAL] Three classic episodes on 16 mm. Hollywood Theatre. 7:30 pm Monday, June 10.

Upstream Color

B Pigs figure heavily in Upstream Color, the sophomore feature from writer-director Shane Carruth. Though Carruth allows us one scene of a woman cuddling with a piglet, the experimental film also includes swine being bagged for an unpleasant fate, a weird surgery in which a human and hog are psychically joined and time-lapse footage of a drowned and decomposing pig. This disorienting and non-narrative film also includes a kidnapping, a romance and some squirmy, mind-altering grubs. Make sense? It probably shouldn’t. With its elliptical narrative, swooning visual aesthetic and hushed dialogue and narration, the film feels like Terrence Malick tackling dystopian sci-fi. It centers, mostly, on a woman named Kris (Amy Seimetz) who is drugged, with those mind-altering grubs, by a character identified only as Thief. While forcing her to copy Walden by hand, Thief cons Kris out of her money and her sense of identity. Oh, and there’s also that operation with the pig. When Kris wakes up, she becomes entwined with disgraced stockbroker Jeff (Carruth), who may or may not have had the same experience. Though ultimately secondary to the mesmerizing visuals and ambient score, the plot is surprisingly engaging, which prevents Upstream Color from becoming a formal obscurity too arch for its own good. You’re free to debate what it all means; I’m happy to lose myself in its messy mystery. REBECCA JACOBSON. Laurelhurst Theater.

Violet & Daisy

D What happens when assassins

aren’t burly hit men but instead teenage girls who look like porcelain dolls? In the world created by Geoffrey Fletcher, who scripted Precious and who makes his directorial debut with Violet & Daisy, that means guns pop alongside bubble gum, the girls play patty cake in between jobs, and the getaway vehicle is a tricycle. In other words, it’s a world not quite grounded in reality. Violet (Alexis Bledel) and Daisy (Saoirse Ronan) are handed an “easy hit” by their agency, but after falling asleep on the job, they slowly get to know the hit, a man named Michael (James Gandolfini) who offers them oatmeal cookies and is oddly eager to die. The majority of the film takes place in hisapartment, as the girls get advice from this man who becomes more of a father figure than a target. Bledel and Ronan do well enough

in their roles, with Ronan easily shifting between childish giggles and steely assassin resolve. But just when the film starts to reinforce feminist ideals, it falls short of selling them—the girls take the job in order to buy couture dresses, for example, and they compete for Michael’s affection at the expense of their own sisterlike relationship. As the initial black humor drops off, the film falls as flat as one of Violet and Daisy’s completed hits. KAITIE TODD. Fox Tower.

What Maisie Knew

A- “Why don’t we go get our-

selves a nice double espresso?” asks the art dealer. The dark-haired pixie looks at him with sadly watchful eyes. “With Mommy?” she asks. Mommy? The response might seem odd, but it’s the question that’s odder: This narcissistic art dealer has asked it of his 6-year-old daughter, Maisie. Based on Henry James’ 1897 novel of the same name, Scott McGehee and David Siegel’s keeneyed film updates the story to modern-day Manhattan. Here, Maisie is the daughter of two wildly selfish parents who are divorcing. Still like children themselves, they’re clueless how to care for a child, with the father taking unannounced business trips (and thinking espresso is a suitable after-school beverage) and the mother (played with unbridled ferocity by Julianne Moore) repeatedly telling Maisie her dad is an asshole, in an attempt to win her daughter’s love. McGehee and Siegel tell the story from Maisie’s perspective, with the camera often at her eye level, as this quietly perceptive girl becomes a pawn in her parents’ messy battle for custody and affection. As Maisie, the young Onata Aprile is phenomenal—there’s no self-consciousness to her portrayal. In keeping with this, Maisie’s need to be cared for is simply presented rather than sensationalized. At one point, she crosses the street with her mother’s new husband and reaches for his hand. It’s natural and intuitive, an unobtrusive reminder of how young and fundamentally needy Maisie is. As Maisie’s parents forget to pick her up at school and then leave her in the care of a bartender working late shifts, this is a high-stakes cautionary tale told with an understated hand. R. REBECCA JACOBSON. Fox Tower.

Women’s Edge Film Series: After the Rape: The Mukhtar Mai Story

[ONE NIGHT ONLY] A 2008 documentary about a young Pakistani woman who spoke out after being gang-raped and went on to open two schools for girls and a crisis center for women who’ve experienced abuse. Clinton Street Theater. 7 pm Tuesday, June 11.

XRAY Fest: Vodoun Gods on the Slave Coast

[ONE NIGHT ONLY] Hisham Mayet’s documentary about voodoo worship in the West African nation of Benin includes vibrant footage of numerous possession ceremonies. Hollywood Theatre. 7 pm Sunday, June 9.

MOVIES

JUNE 7–13 NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium

S T E P H A N I E M AT T H E W S

BREWVIEWS

1219 SW Park Ave., 503-221-1156 MEN IN HOPE Fri 07:30 FLOWER BUDS Sat 06:30 THE HOUSE Sat 08:30 ALOIS NEBEL Sun 06:00 GYPSY Sun 08:00

Regal Pioneer Place Stadium 6 340 SW Morrison St., 800-326-3264 THE INTERNSHIP Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 01:00, 04:00, 07:00, 10:00

St. Johns Theatre

LOVE, DECONSTRUCTED: Like a lovesick diary entry, Terence Nance’s feature debut, An Oversimplification of Her Beauty, loops from confession to self-doubt to blind infatuation. The film is a blend of documentary and narrative, detailing Nance’s occasionally blissful and often fraught relationship with his ideal(ized) woman. The woman isn’t named here, but she’s Nance’s real-life friend and sometimes lover Namik Minter, and in the film she both plays herself and becomes a character in Nance’s retelling. “It’s like my life put on screen to your music,” Minter says. But Nance prevents the film from devolving into a puddle of self-indulgence by lacing his voice-over with blues recordings and cutting in vivid animated sequences, playful doodles and dreamlike multimedia collages. Nance and Minter’s relationship might be tentative, but the film’s construction is wondrously go-for-broke. REBECCA JACOBSON. Showing at: Hollywood Theatre. 7:30 and 9:30 pm Saturday, 2:30 and 4:30 pm Sunday, June 8-9. Best paired with: Occidental Cloudy Summer Kolsch. Also showing: Silver Linings Playbook (Laurelhurst Theater). CineMagic Theatre 2021 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 503-231-7919 THE GREAT GATSBY FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 05:30, 08:15

Lloyd Center 10 and IMAX

1510 NE Multnomah St., 800-326-3264 THE INTERNSHIP Fri-SatSun 01:00, 03:55, 07:05, 10:05 THIS IS THE END Tue-Wed 11:35, 02:15, 04:55, 07:35, 10:15 SPIRIT OF THE MARATHON II Wed 07:00

Avalon Theatre & Wunderland

3451 SE Belmont St., 503-238-1617 OBLIVION Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 02:50, 07:20 EVIL DEAD Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 05:25, 09:30 G.I. JOE: RETALIATION Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 12:45, 05:15 OZ THE GREAT AND POWERFUL Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 12:30, 03:00, 07:10 IDENTITY THIEF Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 09:35

Bagdad Theater and Pub

3702 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 503-249-7474 OZ THE GREAT AND POWERFUL Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 06:00 EVIL DEAD Fri-Sat 08:10, 10:30

Cinema 21

616 NW 21st Ave., 503-223-4515 FRANCES HA Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 04:45, 07:00, 09:00

Clinton Street Theater

2522 SE Clinton St., 503-238-8899 THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW Fri-Sat 12:00 ROCKYPALOOZA 11: CST3K Sat 07:30 AFTER THE RAPE Tue 07:00 FLAMINGOS Tue 09:00 MORE THAN HONEY Wed 07:00 BIKE SMUT Wed 09:00

Laurelhurst Theatre & Pub

2735 E Burnside St., 503-232-5511 THE PIT AND THE PENDULUM Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 07:30 UPSTREAM COLOR Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 09:20 SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 06:45 SPRING BREAKERS Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 09:30 OBLIVION Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 07:15 EVIL DEAD Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 09:50 FROM UP ON POPPY HILL Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 07:00 TRANCE Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 09:00

Mission Theater and Pub

1624 NW Glisan St., 503-249-7474-5 PIT STOP Fri 07:00 GAYBY Fri 09:00 THE ADVENTURES OF PRISCILLA, QUEEN OF THE DESERT Sat 10:30 I AM DIVINE Sat-Tue 08:00 THE BIRDCAGE Sun-Mon 06:00 VITO Sun-Mon 08:45

Moreland Theatre

6712 SE Milwaukie Ave., 503-236-5257 STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 05:30, 08:15

Roseway Theatre

7229 NE Sandy Blvd., 503-282-2898 THE GREAT GATSBY FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 01:00, 04:30, 08:00

St. Johns Twin Cinemas and Pub

8704 N Lombard St., 503-286-1768 STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 04:00, 06:45, 09:30 THE INTERNSHIP Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 05:00, 07:30, 09:55

Kennedy School Theater

5736 NE 33rd Ave., 503-249-7474-4 OZ THE GREAT AND POWERFUL Fri-Sat-SunMon 02:30 FROM UP ON POPPY HILL Fri-Sat-SunMon 05:30 THE PLACE BEYOND THE PINES FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 07:35 EVIL DEAD Fri-Sat 10:20

The OMNIMAX Theatre at OMSI

1945 SE Water Ave., 503-797-4640 TORNADO ALLEY Fri-SatSun 04:00 BORN TO BE WILD Fri-Sat-Sun 01:00 DEEP SEA Fri-Sat-Sun 02:00, 05:00 HUBBLE Fri-Sat-Sun 03:00, 06:00 ADRENALINE RUSH: THE SCIENCE OF RISK Fri-Sat 09:00 GRAND CANYON ADVENTURE: RIVER AT RISK Fri 11:00 HURRICANE ON THE BAYOU Fri 12:00 TO THE ARCTIC 3D Sat-Sun 11:00 SEA MONSTERS: A PREHISTORIC ADVENTURE Sat-Sun 12:00

Fifth Avenue Cinemas

510 SW Hall St., 503-725-3551 THE TREE OF LIFE Fri-SatSun 03:00

Hollywood Theatre

4122 NE Sandy Blvd., 503-281-4215 MUD Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 07:10, 09:35 THE PLACE BEYOND THE PINES Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 06:45, 09:20 AN OVERSIMPLIFICATION OF HER BEAUTY SatSun 02:30, 04:30 LAKE WINDFALL Sat 01:30 VOODOO GODS ON THE SLAVE COAST Sun 07:00 THE TWILIGHT ZONE Mon 07:30 GETTING TO KNOW YOUTUBE Mon 09:30 SEVEN GRAND MASTERS Tue 07:30 ELEMENTAL Wed 07:00

8203 N Ivanhoe St., 503-249-7474-6 OZ THE GREAT AND POWERFUL Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 06:00 EVIL DEAD Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 01:00, 09:10

Living Room Theaters

341 SW 10th Ave., 971-222-2010 BLANCANIEVES Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:10, 02:40, 04:20, 09:00 NOW YOU SEE ME Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 11:45, 02:10, 04:50, 09:10 SCATTER MY ASHES AT BERGDORF’S Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:15, 01:50, 04:40, 06:40, 09:35 SIGHTSEERS FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:50, 02:30, 05:10, 07:45, 09:40 THE HANGOVER PART III Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 11:50, 02:00, 07:15, 09:50 WE STEAL SECRETS: THE STORY OF WIKILEAKS Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 12:20, 02:20, 05:00, 07:00, 09:20

Century at Clackamas Town Center and XD

12000 SE 82nd Ave., 800-326-3264-996 THE CROODS Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue 11:00, 01:30 IRON MAN 3 Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 12:55, 04:00, 07:00, 10:05 IRON MAN 3 3D Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue 04:00 THE GREAT GATSBY Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 12:25, 03:45, 07:05, 10:20 STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 01:10, 04:20, 07:25, 10:30 STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS 3D Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 12:15, 03:35, 06:45, 09:55 FAST & FURIOUS 6 Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:25, 01:00, 02:35, 04:10, 05:45, 07:20, 08:55, 10:25 EPIC Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 12:45, 03:30, 06:15, 09:00 EPIC 3D Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 10:55, 01:40, 04:25, 07:10, 09:50 THE HANGOVER PART III Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:05, 01:35, 04:05, 06:40, 09:15 THE PURGE Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:05, 02:25, 04:45, 07:05, 09:25 MUD Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 01:05, 04:15, 07:15, 10:20 AFTER EARTH Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:10, 12:00, 01:45, 02:30, 04:20, 05:10, 06:55, 07:50, 09:35, 10:25 NOW YOU SEE ME Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:05, 12:30, 02:00, 03:25, 04:50, 06:20, 07:40, 09:10, 10:30 THE INTERNSHIP Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:00, 12:20, 01:50, 03:15, 04:40, 06:10, 07:35, 09:05, 10:35 RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK Sun-Wed 02:00, 07:00 THIS IS THE END Tue-Wed 11:45, 02:30, 05:15, 08:00, 10:45

SUBJECT TO CHANGE. CALL THEATERS OR VISIT WWEEK.COM/MOVIETIMES FOR THE MOST UP-TODATE INFORMATION FRIDAY-THURSDAY, JUNE 7-13, UNLESS OTHERWISE INDICATED

Willamette Week JUNE 5, 2013 wweek.com

CLASSIFIEDS DIRECTORY 60 WELLNESS 61

MUSICIANS’ MARKET

TO PLACE AN AD CONTACT:

60 BULLETIN BOARD 61

MOTOR

ASHLEE HORTON

60 STUFF

62 JONESIN’

503-445-3647 • ahorton@wweek.com

CORIN KUPPLER

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY MATCHMAKER

AUDIO

COMPUTER REPAIR

Metro Computerworks N

2256 N Albina Ave #181 503-289-1986 metrocomputerworks.com

HOME IMPROVEMENT SW Jill Of All Trades 6905 SW 35th Ave. Portland, Oregon 97219 503-244-0753

REMODELING & REPAIR SE Tricks of the Trades 503.522.6425 www.remodelingpdx.com

TREE SERVICE NE Steve Greenberg Tree Service 1925 NE 61st Ave. Portland, Oregon 97213 503-774-4103

Inner Sound

1416 SE Morrison Street Portland, Oregon 97214 503-238-1955 www.inner-sound.com

63 REAL ESTATE

SERVICES

Bodyhair grooming M4M. Discrete quality service. 503-841-0385 by appointment. Stop paying outrageous prices! Best prices... VIAGRA 100MG, 40 pills+/4 free, only $99.00. Discreet shipping, Call Power Pill. 1-800-374-2619 (AAN CAN)

Serving Individuals Families  Couples

PHYSICAL FITNESS

Low cost. No one turned away for inability to pay.

BILL PEC

503.226.3021 x220

Personal Trainer & Independent Contractor

2023 NW Hoyt St • Portland

MASSAGE (LICENSED) Enjoy the Benefits of Massage

Massage openings in the Mt. Tabor area. Call Jerry for info. 503-757-7295. LMT6111.

REL A X!

• Strength Training • Body Shaping • Nutrition Counseling AT THE GYM, OR IN YOUR HOME

503-252-6035 www.billpecfitness.com

call

NON-PROFIT DISCOUNTS AVAILABLE.

ADOPTION Adoption

Warm, fun, professional couple eager to provide your child love and happiness forever. Expenses Paid. Ann and Peter 1-800-593-1730.

*ADOPTION:*

Art Director & Global Executive yearn for precious baby to LOVE, Adore, Devote our lives. Expenses paid *1-800-844-1670*

EVENTS Trying to get a novel published?

Meet New York Literary agents, Aug 2-4th, Willamette Writers conference. www.willamettewriters.com/wwc/3/ 503-305-6729

*STORAGE AUCTION*

12 UNITS FOR SALE 6/12/13 10:30am @ PUT IT IN STORAGE 300 S. PINKERTON WOODLAND, WA 98674 360-225-8686 or Bidderschoiceauction.com for more info.

Charles

lmt#6250

LESSONS

Weight Mastery Stress Relief Spiritual Insight Smoking Cessation Procrastination Self Esteem Past Life

503-839-7222 3642 N. Farragut Portland, Or 97217 moneymone1@gmail.com

WILLAMETTE WEEK’S GATHERING PLACE

GARAGE/ESTATE SALES

503-740-5120

COLLISION REPAIR NE Atomic Auto

BULLETIN BOARD

LOOK FOR ME ON FACEBOOK

INDULGE YOURSELF in an - AWESOME FULL BODY MASSAGE

AUTO

HAULING N LJ Hauling

PETS

NEED VIAGRA?

7816 N. Interstate Ave. Portland, Oregon 97217 503-286-1527 www.revivedcellular.com

MOVING

MANSCAPING

COUNSELING

CELL PHONE REPAIR N Revived Cellular & Technology

2510 NE Sandy Blvd Portland, Or 97232 503-969-3134 www.atomicauto.biz

JOBS

MEN’S HEALTH

Counseling HOME

503-445-2757 • ckuppler@wweek.com

WELLNESS SERVICE DIRECTORY

JUNE 5, 2013

CLASSICAL PIANO/ KEYBOARD

Theory Performance. All levels. Portland 503-227-6557.

SUPPORT GROUPS ALANON Sunday Rainbow

5:15 PM meeting. G/L/B/T/Q and friends. Downtown Unitarian Universalist Church on 12th above Taylor. 503-309-2739.

Totally Relaxing Massage

Featuring Swedish, deep tissue and sports techniques by a male therapist. Conveniently located, affordable, and preferring male clientele at this time. #5968 By appointment Tim 503.575.0356

Counseling Individuals, Couples and Groups Stephen Shostek, CET Relationships, Life Transitions, Personal Growth

Affordable Rates • No-cost Initial Consult www.stephenshostek.com

503-963-8600

Got Meth Problems? Need Help?

Oregon CMA 24 hour Hot-line Number: 503-895-1311. We are here to help you! Information, support, safe & confidential!

ALTERNATIVE MEDICINE

OMMP Resource Center Providing Safe Access to Medicine Valid MMJ Card Holders Only No Membership Dues or Door Fees

“Simply the Best Meds” www.rosecitywellnesscenter.com

STUFF FURNITURE

BEDTIME

TWINS

MATTRESS

COMPANY

FULL $ 89

QUEEN

(503)

760-1598

109

7353 SE 92nd Ave Mon-Fri 9-5, Sat 10-2

MORE CLASSIFIEDS ONLINE @ WWEEK.COM 60

Willamette Week Classiﬁeds JUNE 5, 2013 wweek.com

Custom Sizes » Made To Order Financing Available

TO PLACE AN AD CONTACT:

ASHLEE HORTON

503-445-3647 • ahorton@wweek.com

$$$HELP WANTED$$$ Extra Income! Assembling CD cases from Home! No Experience Necessary! Call our Live Operators Now! 1-800-405-7619 EXT 2450 http:// www.easywork-greatpay.com (AAN CAN)

JOBS CAREER TRAINING AIRLINE CAREERS

Become an Aviation Maintenance Tech. FAA approved training. Financial aid if qualified - Housing available. Job placement assistance. CALL Aviation Institute of Maintenance 877-492-3059 (AAN CAN)

ATTEND COLLEGE ONLINE

from home. *Medical, *Business, *Criminal Justice, *Hospitality. Job placement assistance. Computer available. Financial Aid if qualified. SCHEV authorized. Call 800-481-9472 www.CenturaOnline.com (AAN CAN)

OLCC’S NEWEST ONLINE SERVER PERMIT CLASS

is NOW Just $12 for the Renewal Server Class. (Seasoned Pro’s) and STILL only $15 for the Initial Server Class. (First Timers) Take Your Class @ www.happyhourtraining.com where we are always ‘Bartender Tested & OLCC Approved!’ 541-447-6384.

ADMINISTRATIVE/OFFICE Accounting Clerk

Willamette Week is now hiring a part-time Accounting Clerk. This position will be responsible for accurately performing A/P, A/R, Credit and Administrative tasks. Schedule will be 12-5pm, Monday-Friday, with additional hours as needed. The successful candidate will have knowledge and understanding of basic accounting principles, experience with computerized accounting software programs, ability to self manage and multi-task, strong communication skills and a working knowledge of Microsoft Office including: Excel, Word and Outlook. Candidates will be required to pass a background check to be considered. To apply, email cover letter, resume, and salary requirements to: resumes@wweek. com with “Accounting Clerk” in the subject line. No phone calls, please.

McMenamins Edgefield Is hiring line cooks, pizza cooks, prep cooks and catering cooks for the Power Station Pub and Black Rabbit Restaurant. Prev high vol rest kitchen exp a MUST. Must have an open & flex sched; days, eves, wknds and holidays. Please apply online 24/7 at www.mcmenamins.com or pick up a paper app at any McMenamins. Mail to 2126 SW Halsey, Troutdale, OR 97060 or fax: 503-667-3612. Call 503-952-0598 for info on other ways to apply. Please no calls or emails. E.O.E.

McMenamins Oregon City Pub and Wilsonville Pub Is now hiring LINE COOKS! Qualified apps must have an open & flex sched including, days, eves, wknds and holidays. We are looking for applicants who have prev exp and enjoy working in a busy customer service-oriented enviro. Please apply online 24/7 at www.mcmenamins. com or pick up a paper app at any McMenamins location. Mail to 430 N. Killingsworth, Portland OR, 97217 or fax: 503-221-8749. Call 503-952-0598 for info on other ways to apply. Please no phone calls or emails to individ locs! E.O.E.

McMenamins Edgefield is now hiring Servers for the Power Station Pub! This is a pt-ft, seas position. Qualified apps must have an open & flex sched including, days, eves, wknds and holidays. We are looking for servers who have high vol. serve exp and enjoy a busy customer service-oriented enviro. Please apply online 24/7 at www.mcmenamins.com or pick up a paper app at any McMenamins location. Mail to 2126 SW Halsey, Troutdale, OR 97060 or fax: 503-667-3612. Call 503-952-0598 for info on other ways to apply. Please no phone calls or emails to individ locs! E.O.E. Paid In Advanced! MAKE up to $1000 A WEEK mailing brochures from home! Helping Home Workers since 2001! Genuine Opportunity! No Experience required. Start Immediately! www.mailing-station. com (AAN CAN)

Sales Associate Indoor Hydroponic Garden & Lights

GENERAL

82nd & Madison, PDX 40 hours a week. Valid drivers license and some sales background required. Working in fast paced sales and service of indoor garden supplies, needs to follow directions well and be able to work in a team and alone. Need to be able to lift up to 80 lbs. and be able to help customers out with their purchases. To apply please call: 503-848-3335 ask for Matt

www.ExtrasOnly.com 503.227.1098 Help Wanted!

Make extra money in our free ever popular homemailer program, includes valuable guidebook! Start Immediately! Genuine! 1-888-292-1120 www.easywork-fromhome.com (AAN CAN)

SALES/MARKETING Sales

Empire Today, LLC, a leading home improvement and home furnishing shop-at-home company featuring quality name-brand Carpet, Flooring and Window Treatments with next day installation, is currently hiring: IN-HOME SALES PROFESSIONALS Realistic $70K earning opportunity. NO cold calling; Appointments are set for you from our call-in television and online leads. Local territories. Commissions paid weekly. Must have reliable transportation.

CORIN KUPPLER

Stars Cabaret in TUALATINHiring (Tualatin-TigardLake Oswego)

Stars Cabaret in TUALATIN is now accepting applications for Servers, Bartenders, Hostess, Valet. Part and Full-time positions available. Experience preferred but not required. Earn top pay + tips in a fast-paced and positive environment. Stars Cabaret is also conducting ENTERTAINERS auditions and schedule additions Mon-Sun 11am-10pm. ENTERTAINERS: Training provided to those new to the business. Located @ 17937 SW McEwan Rd. in Tualatin...across from “24 Hours Fitness” Please apply at location.

MUSICIANS MARKET FOR FREE ADS in 'Musicians Wanted,' 'Musicians Available' & 'Instruments for Sale' go to portland.backpage.com and submit ads online. Ads taken over the phone in these categories cost $5.

INSTRUMENTS FOR SALE TRADEUPMUSIC.COM

Buying, selling, instruments of every shape and size. Open 11am-7pm every day. 4701 SE Division & 1834 NE Alberta.

MUSICIANS WANTED Guitar, keyboard needed for 60’s-present, classic rock & pop to perform at picnics, dances & malls. Cally Freddy 971-227-5287.

MUSIC LESSONS GUITAR LESSONS Personalized instruction for over 15yrs. Adults & children. Beginner through advanced. www.danielnoland.com 503-546-3137

Learn Piano All styles, levels

With 2 time Grammy winner Peter Boe. 503-274-8727.

MOTOR GENERAL “Atomic Auto New School Technology, Old School Service” www.atomicauto.biz mention you saw this ad in WW and receive 10% off for your 1st visit!

AUTOS WANTED

PETS

CASH FOR CARS: Any Car/Truck. Running or Not! Top Dollar Paid. We Come To You! Call For Instant Offer: 1-888-420-3808 www.cash4car.com (AAN CAN)

The kittens are coming, the kittens are coming! Baby cats in foster care are beginning to get big enough to find homes of their own! Want to be one of those homes? Fill out an application at pixieproject.org and send it in so we can let you know as kittens filter in. Adoption fees are $135 and included in the adoption price are: the first 2-3 rounds of vaccines, spay/neuter,

microchip, flea treated, de-wormed, and FIV/FELV test. To keep them happy and socialized we ask that any kittens under 4 months old go to homes where there are other animals, or 2 be adopted together.

JOIN OUR SALES TEAM TODAY! Email resumes to Dene Jolly at djolly@ empiretoday.com or fax to 562-868-6416 or call 818-355-0295. EOE m/f/d/v

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Week of June 6

ARIES (March 21-April 19): The longest natural arch in the world is the Fairy Bridge in Guangxi Province, China. Made of limestone, this 400-footwide span crosses over the Buliu River. No one outside of China knew about it until 2009, when an American explorer spied it on Google Earth. Let’s make the Fairy Bridge your metaphor of the month, Aries. Judging by the astrological omens, I suspect there’s a good chance you will soon find something like a natural, previously hidden bridge. In other words, be alert for a link between things you didn’t know were connected. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): I hope that in recent weeks you’ve made yourself a master of sticky and intricate details. I trust you’ve been working harder and smarter than you have in a long time. Have you, Taurus? Have you been grunting and sweating a lot, exerting yourself in behalf of good causes? Please tell me you have. And please say you’re willing to continue for a while longer. The way I see it, your demanding tasks aren’t quite finished. In fact, the full reward for your efforts may not become available unless you keep pushing beyond the point that you consider to be your fair share. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): How free do you want to be, Gemini? A tiny bit free, hemmed in by comfortable complications that require you to rely on white lies? Or would you rather be moderately free in ways that aren’t too demanding -- politely, sensibly free? Maybe you feel brave and strong enough to flirt with a breathtaking version of liberation -a pure, naked freedom that brings you close to the edge of wild abandon and asks you to exercise more responsibility than you’re used to. I’m not telling you which kind you should opt for, but I am suggesting that it’s best if you do make a conscious choice. CANCER (June 21-July 22): In August 1961, the Communist government of East Germany built the Berlin Wall. It was a thick concrete barrier designed to prevent the oppressed citizens of East Berlin from escaping to freedom in West Berlin. The barrier was eventually policed by armed guards. Traffic between the two Berlins became virtually impossible for the next 28 years. Then a miracle occurred: East German authorities relinquished their stranglehold. They tentatively allowed East Berliners to travel to West Berlin. Soon the Mauerspechte, or “wall woodpeckers,” showed up. Armed with hammers and chisels, these people began chipping away at the Wall. Two years later, most of it had been demolished. I hereby assign you to be a wall woodpecker in your own sphere, Cancer. The time is right to demolish a barricade. It may take a while, but you’re ready to start. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): The following slogan captures the spirit I bring to composing my horoscopes: “I live in the future so that you don’t have to.” But right now this slogan doesn’t apply to you. From what I can tell, you are currently visiting the future as much as I do. Here’s what I wonder, though: Are you time-traveling simply to run away from the dilemmas that face you in the present? Or are you taking advantage of your jaunts to acquire revelations that will help you solve those dilemmas once you return? VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): You know that there are different kinds of stress, right? Some varieties wear you out and demoralize you, while other kinds of stress excite and motivate you. Some lead you away from your long-term goals, and others propel you closer. The coming weeks would be an excellent time for you to fine-tune your ability to distinguish between them. I suspect that the more you cultivate and seek out the good kind, the less susceptible you’ll be to the bad kind. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Studies show that people spend 87 percent of their time inside buildings and six percent in enclosed vehicles. In other words, they are roaming around outside enjoying the wind and sky and weather for only seven percent of their lives. I think you’re going to have to do better than that in the coming week, Libra. To ensure your mental hygiene stays robust, you should try to ex-

pose yourself to the natural elements at least nine percent of the time. If you manage to hike that rate up to ten percent or higher, you stand a good chance of achieving a spiritual epiphany that will fuel you for months. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Resurrection is the Scorpionic specialty. Better than any other sign of the zodiac, you can summon the power to be reborn. It is your birthright to reanimate dreams and feelings and experiences that have expired, and make them live again in new forms. Your sacred totem is the mythical phoenix, which burns itself in a fire of its own creation and then regenerates itself from the ashes. Now here’s the big news headline, Scorpio: I have rarely seen you in possession of more skill to perform these rites than you have right now. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Octavio Paz spoke to a lover in his poem “Counterparts”: “In my body you search the mountain for the sun buried in its forest. In your body I search for the boat adrift in the middle of the night.” What have you searched for in the bodies of your lovers, Sagittarius? What mysteries and riddles have you explored while immersed in their depths? How has making love helped you to better understand the meaning of life? I invite you to ruminate on these uncanny joys. Remember the breakthroughs that have come your way thanks to sex. Exult in the spiritual education you have received through your dealings with lust and sensuality. And then go out and stir up some fresh epiphanies. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Do you know what minced oaths are? They’re rarely used anymore. If you went back a hundred years, though, you’d hear them regularly. They were sanitized swear words, basically; peculiar exclamations that would allow people the emotional release of profanities without causing a ruckus among those who were listening. “Bejabbers!” was one. So were “thunderation! and “dad-blast!” and “consarn!” Here’s one of my favorite minced oaths: “By St. Boogar and the saints at the backside door of purgatory!” I bring this up, Capricorn, because I suspect it’ll be a minced oath kind of week for you. What I mean is: You’ll have every right to get riled up, and you should express your feelings, but not in ways that create problems for you. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): There’s only one correct way to spell the English word “beauty.” But that wasn’t true centuries ago. Before the advent of the printing press, orthographic anarchy prevailed for many words. Some of beauty’s variations included bewte, beaute, beaultye, beuaute, bealte, buute, bewtee, and beaultye. I bring this up, Aquarius, because I think it would be fun and healthy for you to take a respite from having to slavishly obey standardized rules. I’m talking about not just those that apply to spelling, but others, too. See what you can get away with. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): In the last chapter of Fyodor Dostoevsky’s novel The Brothers Karamazov, the lead character says the following: “There is nothing nobler, stronger, healthier, and more helpful in life than a good remembrance, particularly a remembrance from childhood. A beautiful, holy memory preserved from childhood can be the single most important thing in our development.” I bring this up, Pisces, so as to get you in the right frame of mind for this week’s featured activity: remembrance. One of the greatest gifts you can give yourself is to reminisce about the old days and the old ways. To do so will enhance your physical health and purify your emotional hygiene.

Homework

I dare you to do something that you will remember with pride and passion until the end of your days. Testify at Freewillastrology.com.

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