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Willamette Week JULY 3, 2013 wweek.com

CONTENT

OUR LIPS ARE SEALED (AND TASTE OF LEAVES): Introducing New Wave music to zoo animals. Page 27.

NEWS

MUSIC

LEAD STORY

PERFORMANCE 44

CULTURE

MOVIES

FOOD & DRINK

CLASSIFIEDS

STAFF Editor-in-Chief Mark Zusman EDITORIAL Managing Editor for News Brent Walth Arts & Culture Editor Martin Cizmar Staff Writers Andrea Damewood, Nigel Jaquiss, Aaron Mesh Copy Chief Rob Fernas Copy Editors Matt Buckingham, Jessica Pedrosa Stage & Screen Editor Rebecca Jacobson Music Editor Matthew Singer Books Penelope Bass Classical Brett Campbell Dance Aaron Spencer Theater Rebecca Jacobson Visual Arts Richard Speer Editorial Interns Alex Blum, Joe Donovan, Katie Gilbert, Richard Grunert, Haley Martin, Emily Schiola, Sara Sneath

CONTRIBUTORS Emilee Booher, Ruth Brown, Peggy Capps, Nathan Carson, Robert Ham, Jay Horton, Reed Jackson, Emily Jensen, AP Kryza, Mitch Lillie, John Locanthi, Michael Lopez, Enid Spitz, Mark Stock, Brian Yaeger, Michael C. Zusman PRODUCTION Production Manager Ben Kubany Art Director Ben Mollica Graphic Designers Andrew Farris, Mitch Lillie, Amy Martin, Dylan Serkin Production Interns Eiko Emersleben, Evan Johnson, Zak Eidsvoog ADVERTISING Director of Advertising Scott Wagner Display Account Executives Maria Boyer, Michael Donhowe, Ryan Kingrey, Janet Norman, Kyle Owens, Sharri Miller Regan, Andrew Shenker Classifieds Account Executives Ashlee Horton, Corin Kuppler Advertising Assistant Ashley Grether Marketing & Events Manager Carrie Henderson Give!Guide Director Nick Johnson Production Assistant Brittany McKeever

Our mission: Provide Portlanders with an independent and irreverent understanding of how their worlds work so they can make a difference. Though Willamette Week is free, please take just one copy. Anyone removing papers in bulk from our distribution points will be prosecuted, as they say, to the full extent of the law. Willamette Week is published weekly by City of Roses Newspaper Company 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Main line phone: (503) 243-2122 fax: (503) 243-1115 Classifieds phone: (503) 223-1500 fax: (503) 223-0388

DISTRIBUTION Circulation Director Robert Lehrkind WWEEK.COM Web Production Brian Panganiban Web Editor Matthew Korfhage MUSICFESTNW Executive Director Trevor Solomon Associate Director Matt Manza OPERATIONS Accounting Manager Chris Petryszak Credit & Collections Shawn Wolf Office Manager Ginger Craft A/P Clerk Max Bauske Manager of Information Systems Brian Panganiban Associate Publisher Jane Smith Publisher Richard H. Meeker

Willamette Week welcomes freelance submissions. Send material to either News Editor or Arts Editor. Manuscripts will be returned if you include a self-addressed, stamped envelope. To be considered for calendar listings, notice of events must be received in writing by noon Wednesday, two weeks before publication. Send to Calendar Editor. Photographs should be clearly labeled and will be returned if accompanied by a selfaddressed, stamped envelope. Questions concerning circulation or subscription inquiries should be directed to Robert Lehrkind at Willamette Week. Postmaster: Send all address changes to Willamette Week, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Subscription rates: One year $100, six months $50. Back issues $5 for walk-ins, $8 for mailed requests when available. Willamette Week is mailed at third-class rates. A.A.N. Association of ALTERNATIVE NEWSWEEKLIES This newspaper is published on recycled newsprint using soy-based ink.

Willamette Week JULY 3, 2013 wweek.com

The Oregon Media Production Association presents

OMPA CLASSIC Golf • Croquet • Fundraising Party

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INBOX CHANGES AT THE OREGONIAN

Journalism in Portland will be better off without The Oregonian [“Black and White and Red All Over,” WW, June 26, 2013]. I can’t recall a significant story they broke in recent years. They missed David Wu, I found out about Portland lead smelters from USA Today and about the ammonium nitrate storage on Tile Flat Road from The Dallas Morning News. The Salem Statesman Journal tells me what I need to know about the Oregon Legislature, and Willamette Week and The Portland Mercury keep me up to speed on local politics. It’s sad to see a newspaper die of mismanagement, and sadder to see good journalists out on the street in what looks to me like age discrimination. —“M. Edward Borasky” The Oregonian has been one of the best newspapers in the country (I’m not sure that is saying a whole lot; there are tons of crappy ones out there). I love the investigative reporting and many of the local columns—and I always read the opinion page. But all digital? There will be way too many “clicks” that people just won’t do. They won’t read as much as they would when what they have is a paper in their hands. —“Gundytoo” Could The Oregonian work on having a better website if that’s going to be their focus? I don’t trust their journalism will get any better, but the least they could do is have a website that doesn’t make my computer freeze. —“Gibsonator”

COMPANY UNDER SCRUTINY

I too worked for a local municipality that had contracted with Diversified Abilities for both janitorial and landscaping services [“Janitorial Mess,” WW, June 26, 2013]. As stated by Portland State, we too experienced late, inaccurate and poorly presented invoices from DA. But rather than award them a sizable no-bid contract, we relieved them of their services. I was unaware of the tax liens, but I’m not surprised. DA management are more than a little shady. To take advantage of the vulnerable people that they purport to help while padding their own pockets...is more than appalling. I find it truly disgusting, and it speaks volumes to their character. —“pdxhawky”

VANDWELLER TO VANDWELLER

The first rule of van camping is don’t talk about van camping [“Vanifest Destiny: The Shower Scene,” WW, June 19, 2013]. Do not draw any unnecessary attention to yourself, your van or the places you frequent. By doing so, you have made it more dangerous and much riskier for those of us who are forced— I hope just temporarily—to live like this. It’s not just fun and games, a summertime lark or a lifestyle choice that leads us to adopt this unauthorized alternative. It’s a matter of survival. I’m sure glad you don’t know my spots. —“Trying to Go Unnoticed” LETTERS TO THE EDITOR must include the author’s street address and phone number for verification. Letters must be 250 or fewer words. Submit to: 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Fax: (503) 243-1115, Email: mzusman@wweek.com

RSVP today at

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Willamette Week JULY 3, 2013 wweek.com

Portland is the land of the coffee hound, but it’s also the home of zealous locavores. Coffee won’t grow anywhere near Oregon, so it’s hard to be both of those things at the same time. Is there a locally grown morning jump-start? —Seeking Unified Field Theory Depends on your definition of “grown.” I can think of at least one locally produced product that’ll jump-start your morning so hard you’ll still be badgering Plaid Pantry clerks for scratchoff tickets 36 hours after takeoff, but it might not be worth the hit to your self-respect, teeth and child-custody arrangements. It’s true that the supply chain that ferries tropical treats like coffee into our rapacious First-World kissers belches a not-insignificant amount of greenhouse gases (GHGs) into our long-suffering and increasingly revenge-minded environment. However, carbon-footprint researchers say the main GHG “hot spots” for coffee are the farm

where the stuff is grown and the house where you brew it. Yes, firing up your stove, drip-coffee machine or—God forbid—espresso maker to brew a cup actually rapes the environment harder than the entire trip from South America to here. (Don’t even get me started on the 4,000-pound car you use to bring one pound of beans from the store to your house.) As always, it’s your First-World consumer lifestyle, not food transport, that’s the real problem. Be a locavore if you want—it’s not useless. But if it’s a choice between driving five miles to the farmers market for locally grown produce and riding your bike to Safeway and buying whatever the hell you want—well, get on your bike. Look, I know you: You’re not going to stop driving, eating chocolate or heating your house. Why not try having fewer kids? It reduces your carbon footprint enormously while (entirely coincidentally) making restaurant dining vastly more pleasant for aging newspaper columnists. QUESTIONS? Send them to dr.know@wweek.com

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Willamette Week JULY 3, 2013 wweek.com

RELIGION: A local priest is accused of ruining a parish’s finances. 7 POLITICS: Hales’ muddled message about sexual harassment. 8 TRANSPORTATION: The CRC is dead. It’s time to fix I-5’s problems. 10 HOTSEAT: Author Doug Fine. 12 COVER STORY: Palahniuk’s Fugitives and Refugees, 10 years on. 14

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After nearly two years of debate, lawmakers have approved prison reform after Gov. John Kitzhaber stepped back from his hopes of changing the state’s tough sentencing guidelines (“The Hard Truth About Oregon Prisons,” WW, March 13, 2013). Kitzhaber got budget savings—an estimated $326 million over 10 years— while district attorneys who opposed his original plan kept Measures 11 and 57 sentencKITZHABER ing guidelines intact. One big loser: the Pew Public Safety Performance Project, which lobbied hard to roll back mandatory minimum sentences. Tweaks to sentencing for felony marijuana crimes and driving while suspended will limit the prison population to just above the current level of 14,300. As lawmakers limp to the 2013 session’s finish, Salem gossip is centered on an attempted takedown of the popular barbecue that uber-lobbyist Mark Nelson and the Oregon Restaurant and Lodging Association throw in the session’s waning days. Marion County health supervisor Rick Sherman says a local restaurateur urged closure of the rollicking event, where legislative staffers grab free lunches on the Capitol mall. “The restaurant owner said he’s losing business because of that barbecue,” Sherman says. “But it’s a private event, so we don’t have any jurisdiction.” Don’t mess with Go Go Gadget Repairs. The Hillsboro fix-it shop has sued two former customers in Washington County small-claims court after they gave the business rotten reviews on Yelp. Jennifer Agerstam wrote she was gouged for replacing glass on an iPhone and a Samsung cellphone. Jon Van Cleef wrote that Go Go Gadget Repairs also charged him more than promised and called the owner “a flat-out crook.” In court filings, the company says the two wrote “false” and “retaliatory” reviews that hurt the company’s reputation. Go Go Gadget Repairs wants $2,300 in damages from each. Owner Jonathan Mulford declined to comment. Agerstam tells WW she’s fed up with Mulford and angry it will cost her $50 to respond to the suit. “It’s a joke,” she says—and warns consumers Mulford is operating under a new business name, Tablet Repair PDX. The bee news keeps buzzing: Two weeks after insecticide use killed 50,000 bumblebees in Wilsonville, a Northeast Portland woman says her landlord wants to evict her hive of 240,000 honeybees. Beekeeper LaTisha Strickland—who has kept bees at her rental property for three years without problems—says she got word from Fox Property Management that someone in the neighborhood complained, and that she has until July 7 to relocate the hives or she and her bees have to go. Strickland says such a move in hot weather would kill the bees. “This has been weighing heavy on my spirit,” she says. “I just want to have my bees.” Fox Property Management didn’t return WW’s calls. Read more Murmurs and daily scuttlebutt.

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I S R A E L B AY E R / S T R E E T R O O T S

NEWS

LIVING ON MORE THAN A PRAYER: Members of Saint André Bessette Catholic Church haven’t been told why the Rev. Stephen Newton disappeared without a goodbye. An audit shows his “excessive spending” may have left the church in the financial lurch.

THE WAGES OF MISMANAGEMENT THE FIRING OF AN OLD TOWN PRIEST IS TRACED TO QUESTIONS ABOUT CHURCH FUNDS. BY AN D R E A DA M E WO O D adamewood@wweek.com

About 40 members of Saint André Bessette Catholic Church stayed after the 10 am service last Sunday to get answers. Their parish priest, the Rev. Stephen Newton, had been dismissed without explanation after conducting his final services at the Old Town church June 16. Many parishioners believed his ouster was retaliation by church leaders for Newton’s support of Portland Pride events in June. People didn’t touch the tray of M&M cookies but instead quizzed a vicar flown in from Indiana to explain Newton’s sacking. All he would say is that Newton showed “bad management” and “poor judgment.” The vague answers only fed suspicions of the church’s actions. But documents obtained by WW suggest why Newton was let go: He appears to have mismanaged hun-

dreds of thousands of dollars in parish funds. A financial review conducted by the Archdiocese of Portland found that the parish, under Newton’s management, depleted $285,000 in church funds and burned through most of a $400,000 bequest that was supposed to be set aside as an endowment. The review says Newton steered $35,000 to a defunct African charity he helped run. The financial review calls the spending “excessive” and Newton’s actions “a significant conflict of interest.” Saint André Bessette, located at 601 W Burnside St., has about 150 members and is known as a poor church that spends what resources it has on serving the homeless and mentally ill. But the financial review found Newton spent $25,000 on a 2011 Toyota Venza the church didn’t need, and improperly documented cash advances on the church’s American Express card. One member tells WW that Saint André Bessette now can’t even afford the $200 it spends each month on hot cocoa for the homeless people it serves. “I can’t say for sure that money was

robbed from us,” says Julie Booth, a former member of the church’s pastoral council, who alerted the archdiocese earlier this year about Newton’s spending. “But our community was certainly robbed of a sense of trust.” The leadership of the Congregation of Holy Cross—whose U.S. province is based in South Bend, Ind., and also operates the University of Portland—ousted Newton, 65, after three years at the church. Archdiocese spokesman Bud Bunce says Newton was given a chance to respond during the preliminary review. It was the Congregation of Holy Cross’ decision to remove Newton, he adds. Holy Cross Vicar Rick Wilkinson, who appeared before parishioners Sunday, declined to offer specifics about Newton’s dismissal, telling WW it was a personnel matter. The archdiocese’s financial review says Newton started a tithing program in 2011 whereby 10 percent of money collected by the church was diverted to a charity called the Institute for Central and East African Rehabilitation. The review says Newton sent the money through his personal bank

account in Chicago. “Relatively little documentation of the organization itself could be located,” it says. “At minimum, this activity constitutes a significant conflict of interest due to the pastor’s ties to the organization.” The Institute for Central and East African Rehabilitation has not filed a tax return since 2005, and was stripped of its tax-exempt status by the Internal Revenue Service. Newton, who returned to Chicago, tells WW the charity has been renamed Newton Treatment Centre and is now located in Nairobi, Kenya. He says he helped found it in 1999 after he learned of the need for recovery services there. Newton, a recovering alcoholic himself, has a history of setting up recovery services. In the late 1970s, he helped found the DePaul Recovery Centers in Portland, which are still operating, according to a 2010 Street Roots profile. Newton says the tithing was announced to the parish and approved by parish leadership. But Booth says few parishioners knew about it. Newton acknowledges he can’t account for how the money was spent by the charity, which has landed him in trouble before. Court records show he filed for bankruptcy in Chicago in 2005 after he racked up $45,500 in credit-card debt despite making $31,000 a year. Newton tells WW he donated the money to the charity. Wilkinson told WW he doesn’t know why Holy Cross would hand a man with recent financial struggles the keys to a church and its accounts. Bunce says the archdiocese monitors churches’ spending by having parishes turn in financial statements once a year and by doing a more thorough review when a priest leaves. The archdiocese, he adds, does not view any of Newton’s actions as criminal. Newton insists he ran the church’s finances well, leaving the parish $800,000 in the black and sitting on a $1.8 million endowment. But the archdiocese’s financial review says Saint André Bessette would have run more than $418,000 in the red last year if it hadn’t spent money that was supposed to be kept in the endowment. On Sunday, several parishioners pleaded with Wilkinson to explain what had happened with the church’s finances. “Should we not know?” one woman asked. “Should we be kept in the dark?” Wilkinson demurred and turned to Saint André Bessette’s new priest, the Rev. John Patrick, a slender man in green robes and running shoes. Patrick told parishioners his first order of business will be to settle the church’s finances. During the mass, he also hinted he was not going to dwell on the past as he read from Luke 9:62: “Jesus replied, ‘No one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.’” Willamette Week JULY 3, 2013 wweek.com

NEWS

POLITICS

WHY HALES REFUSED TO FIRE AN AIDE WHO MADE SEXUAL COMMENTS TO A COUNTY COMMISSIONER. BY AARON MESH

amesh@wweek.com

Karol Collymore got angry when she learned last month a top aide to Portland Mayor Charlie Hales had made sexually suggestive remarks at a public event to Multnomah County Commissioner Loretta Smith. She got even madder when she learned it wasn’t the first time Baruti Artharee, the mayor’s public safety adviser, had made inappropriate comments toward Smith. And now that Hales has let Artharee off with only a week’s suspension? Collymore is livid. “The first time the issue of diversity is tested, [Hales] takes a pass,” says Collymore, who lost to Smith in a 2010 race for county commissioner. “If Loretta can be harassed in a roomful of people without repercussions, what does that say for the rest of us? The chilling effect on other women is palpable.” Hales announced July 1 that he chose this limited punishment—far less than many community leaders demanded—for Artharee. In his first interview about the controversy, Hales tells WW he refused Artharee’s offer to resign and decided against firing him for one basic reason: Hales wants to force fundamental cultural changes within the Police Bureau, and Artharee, his police liaison, is too valuable to lose. “Who do you want by my side when we rise to that challenge of recruiting the officers who are going to be here for 25 years?” Hales says. “I want Baruti Artharee right next to me. Who better?” The Artharee case put Hales’ commitment to equity—one of City Hall’s favorite buzzwords—to a rare public test. His decision—weeks after assigning himself the Office of Equity—raises questions whether Hales has allowed Artharee to

Willamette Week JULY 3, 2013 wweek.com

enjoy a double standard other city employees do not. The issues also involves race. Both Smith and Artharee are African-American. Smith says she has faced pressure from some leaders of the city’s African-American community to back off and drop her criticism of Artharee. “Leadership is neither black nor white,” says former Sen. Margaret Carter, the first African-American woman elected to the state Legislature. “Leadership is making a hard decision at an appropriate time. I hope the race card does not get played in this issue, or else every woman is at risk of being treated with disrespect.” “Race played no role,” Hales says. Kathleen Saadat, a longtime AfricanAmerican lesbian activist and the city’s former diversity manager, says Hales’ decision undermines city discrimination policies. “If someone had offended [Multnomah County Chairman] Jeff Cogen in a public meeting, there wouldn’t have been all this folderol,” Saadat says. “There would have been a quick and immediate apology.” Hales has been criticized for being slow to respond to the allegations, first reported on wweek.com, that Artharee made inappropriate comments to Smith in front of 40 people at a June 6 event. “Here’s our beautiful commissioner, Loretta Smith,” Artharee said. “Mmm, mmm, mmm—she looks good tonight.” An investigation by the city’s Human Resources Bureau found Artharee, 60, had a history of making offensive comments about Smith, 48, in public. The investigation’s report says Artharee introduced Smith as a keynote speaker at an Oregon Association of Minority Entrepreneurs event a year ago. According to several witnesses, Artharee told the audience she looked good in her red dress. Smith also told investigators that six weeks ago, while Artharee was working for the mayor, Artharee emceed a “Diamonds and Denim” gala. He introduced Smith to the crowd by saying, “The commissioner looked good in those jeans.” How did Artharee explain his com-

P E T E R H I AT T

CITY HALL PASS

A SPECIAL CASE: Mayor Charlie Hales says he didn’t fire embattled aide Baruti Artharee because he is crucial to police reforms. “We want to demonstrate that an employee can make a mistake, be disciplined and retrained, and get back to work if they’re a valued employee,” Hales says. “And Baruti is a valued employee.”

ments? He told city investigators he called Smith “beautiful,” but did not specifically mention her clothes. And the reason for his public comments about her appearance, Artharee said, had to do with race. “Mr. Artharee further explained,” the report said, “that he goes out of his way to acknowledge the beauty of African-American women due to their historical mistreatment.” Smith told investigators she was under pressure to stay quiet. “[Smith] also described ‘backlash’ and a ‘fallout’ within the African-American community resulting from Mr. Artharee’s comments,” the report said. “She has been asked by certain community members to ‘shut this down’ and questioned why she is ‘outing’ an African-American male in a leadership position.” Hales visited Smith’s office June 28 to tell her he was suspending Artharee for a week without pay—docking him $1,681. Smith won’t discuss what happened in

that meeting. Hales indicates she wasn’t happy. “I understand that she’s frustrated with me that it happened at all,” he says. Hales is also making Artharee take an individualized diversity training course. Artharee, a former executive at the Portland Development Commission and Providence Health & Services, was a diversity consultant for Multnomah County, among other clients, before accepting a job at City Hall. The mayor says he has no doubt Artharee can play an important role in reforming the Police Bureau despite his past actions. Artharee, the mayor says, won’t make “any more cavalier remarks about people, including women.” “I want him to serve his time with this discipline,” Hales says. “I want him to take the training, and then I want him on the horse, riding forward, to get this important work done.” WW reporter Nigel Jaquiss contributed to this story.

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Willamette Week JULY 3, 2013 wweek.com

NEWS

TRANSPORTATION

A N N A J AY E G O E L L N E R

NO MORE BRIDGE TO NOWHERE BLIND FAITH IN THE FATALLY FLAWED—AND NOW DEAD—CRC STARTS A NEW I-5 CONVERSATION. BY NIG E L JAQ UI SS

njaquiss@wweek.com

George Crandall knows how to kill a freeway. In the 1970s, Crandall helped lead the fight against the Mount Hood Freeway, which would have torn through Southeast Portland neighborhoods. In defeat, Portland instead built its light-rail system. In recent years, Crandall, a veteran urban planner, has been a leading critic of the proposed $3.5 billion Columbia River Crossing, the Interstate 5 project between Portland and Vancouver. Crandall says he felt “relieved” Saturday when he learned the Washington state Senate had failed to approve funding for the CRC and the governors of Oregon and Washington had pronounced the decadelong project dead. “It sucked up a lot of political energy,” Crandall says of the CRC. “It really wasn’t necessary. It was the wrong thing to do.” But Crandall says he sees a big difference between the deaths of the two freeway projects. “With the Mount Hood Freeway, there was a larger strategy to salvage the money and put it to different uses,” says Crandall. “In this case, there is no salvage strategy.” For years, Oregon and Washington leaders chased a mirage of federal funding for a sprawling CRC project that was supposed to address chronic traffic congestion on and around the existing Interstate Bridge. But leaders frequently fudged the facts

FREEWAY SKEPTIC: “The Washington Legislature understood the CRC did not solve the congestion problem,” George Crandall says. “To spend $3.4 billion on a project that didn’t solve the problem was too much.”

and misled the public in their claims about the project (“A Bridge Too False,” WW, June 1, 2011). As Portland economist Joe Cortright demonstrated, the project was built on wildly optimistic traffic estimates. That led to exaggerated claims of how much money tolls would raise. In the end, the bridge would probably not have paid off its debts as backers claimed. The second miscalculation was political. Oregon agreed to the massive bridge in exchange for Washington’s acceptance of light rail between Portland and Vancouver. Ironically, when Crandall and his pals killed the Mount Hood Freeway, part of the motivation was to bring light rail to Oregon. But opposition to light rail in Clark County and among Washington Republicans led to the CRC’s final defeat. Sen. Curtis King (R-Yakima), chairman of Washington’s Senate Transportation Committee, says the CRC planning process was a charade.

“The process was strictly manipulated by Oregon light-rail supporters from the beginning,” King says. Port of Portland executive director Bill Wyatt, a CRC backer, says the complexity of getting two states and the federal government to agree on a plan led to a boltedtogether proposal that included something for every constituency: new I-5 interchanges for freight mobility, a new vehicle bridge for Clark County commuters, and light rail for Portland’s mass-transit advocates. “There isn’t an obvious plan B,” Wyatt says, “because so much energy has gone into the whole package as a result of the compromises made along the way.” The CRC’s death was a huge loss for Gov. John Kitzhaber and House Speaker Tina Kotek (D-Portland). Kitzhaber and Kotek got Oregon lawmakers to approve the state’s $450 million share for the project in March, but only after whipping Democrats into line for a vote many disliked. It was also an embarrassment for rookie

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Washington Gov. Jay Inslee, who could not close the deal his predecessor, Gov. Christine Gregoire, had made with Kitzhaber. And it’s also a loss for the business lobbyists and labor unions who made the CRC a critical issue in the 2012 elections. The states spent $172 million to plan a project that is now nothing but reports and drawings. Now comes a test for Oregon and Washington: If leaders are serious about dealing with I-5 congestion, will they turn to less expensive but more creative solutions? Crandall and Jim Howell, a rail advocate, drew up an alternative to the CRC two years ago called the “Common Sense Alternative.” Crandall says a phased approach would have cost half as much as the CRC, addressing congestion by first reducing how often the Interstate Bridge lifts to allow shipping traffic through. And the plan targets a chief cause of congestion— traffic from Hayden Island—with a new, local-service-only bridge. King thinks the answer is a new interstate vehicle bridge with more capacity. “At some point in the future, if light rail is the answer, let’s do that,” King says. “But right now it’s not the answer.” Not everyone is hopeful. “It takes so long to get where all the interests are aligned,” says Rep. Tobias Read (D-Beaverton), chairman of Oregon’s House Transportation and Economic Development Committee and a sponsor of the CRC funding bill. “We are likely to get to a similar place again with a proposal that is more expensive.” The CRC’s death may also claim another victim: Mayor Charlie Hales has said the fate of West Hayden Island is linked to the construction of the CRC project. Now, Hales will have to decide whether to halt the Planning and Sustainability Commission’s scheduled July 9 vote on annexing the land for a new shipping terminal. The port’s Wyatt says smaller projects could address trucking bottlenecks and congestion on I-5 south of the existing bridge. But he too is pessimistic about Oregon and Washington getting on the same page soon, given that the states can’t agree on two major issues—tolling and light rail. “It’s hard to see,” he says, “a handshake with Washington at this point.”

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NEWS

DRUGS

DOUG FINE

Books Books, lectures, and more!

Page 46

THE AUTHOR DOCUMENTS A STRANGE TRUCE IN AMERICA’S WAR ON DRUGS. BY KATIE GILBERT

kgilbert@wweek.com

Doug Fine is known for his work as a sustainability reporter. He prefers to be called a “comedic investigative journalist.” He’s written about his “Hypocrisy Reduction Project”—moving his family to an off-the-grid, goat-filled ranch in New Mexico for his 2008 book, Farewell My Subaru. Fine tested green ideals against the notion that the gadget culture is a necessary part of America. In his latest book, Fine challenges the necessity of the war on drugs. For Too High to Fail, he moved to Mendocino County, Calif., where a onetime drug-warrior sheriff ran a program regulating and protecting medical-cannabis farmers. To show how it worked, he followed a locally developed strain of marijuana, which he named Lucille, from seed to THC. Ahead of a July 9 Portland appearance, Fine spoke with WW about dope farming, changing attitudes about marijuana, and why a beer billboard looming over his arrest while researching the book proved an ironic symbol. WW: What convinced you cannabis should be legalized? Doug Fine: I usually wake up to the sound of hummingbird wings. But one morning, instead of that, it was helicopters, planes and automatic weapons. It turned out it was my AARP neighbor getting busted for growing a few plants. It told me that the priorities were really screwed up. People often don’t support the legalization of cannabis because they don’t want to be viewed as stoners or deadbeat druggies. The stigma front is the last front of the drug war. The lingering stigma is really fading. I saw a lot of seniors in conservative places seeing their friends getting better by not using pharmaceuticals but medical cannabis. What was it like researching the book? I would be there when there were landmark days. When they were inspected by the sheriff’s department or a mold was threatening the plant, or when it was flower-trimming time. Sometimes I would be with the sheriff following inspections or interviewing him. What surprised you? Like 80 percent of Americans, I knew that the drug war was a failure. So I wanted to examine a place where it was being done right. I knew when I found Mendocino County and their “zip-tie” program, where the sheriff permitted farmers who were responsible for 80 percent of the county’s economy instead of pretending their crop didn’t exist, that this had a lot of potential. When do you think the drug war will end? Within five years. I think that by 2016 we may have a dozen more states that have legalized cannabis, counting Oregon and California. In your book, you point out that even the farmers in Mendocino had to deal with police. As long as there is federal prohibition, you can be

Willamette Week JULY 3, 2013 wweek.com

PHOTO COURTESY OF DOUG FINE

Sport your support for animal rescue.

DOUG FINE

chucked in jail. I was profiled by Sonoma County [police] because I’m a young person with a beard, coming down the stretch of Highway 101 that farmers call the Gauntlet, and was falsely told that my truck smelled like cannabis. I was led into a police vehicle and watched this search. It was great for my book. It was right under this ironic Budweiser billboard that said “Grab Some Buds.” I calculated it cost taxpayers $11,000. How did you come up with $11,000? I took the amount of drug-war money that’s spent per day in that portion of California and divided it by the amount of time that I occupied the narcotics squad in the Gauntlet. What does Mendocino smell like? What you’re smelling when you smell cannabis cultivation or cannabis storage is the terpene and lipoflavinoids in the plant—the same kind of components that pepper spice or that give lemon its citrusy quality. It is very powerful. Did it smell like a joint? No, it didn’t smell the same as when it’s burning. I went into the Verizon store getting a new phone. I apologized because my 20s were crumpled up from my pocket, and they said, “Man, your money doesn’t smell like cannabis, doesn’t smell like hash oil. It’s going to be the easiest money I deposit all day.” What is with the goats? The bottom line is that humans have been interacting with goats as long as dogs, they have built relationships with them, and I meditate with my goats. They are smart, they’re funny, they have a great sense of humor, and on top of that, they provide you a lot of protein in the form of milk, yogurt, cheese and, most important of all, ice cream, so what’s not to like? GO: Doug Fine will read at Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., on Tuesday, July 9. 7:30 pm. Free.

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WWE E K

Willamette Week JULY 3, 2013 wweek.com

Capture or Asylum CHUCK PALAHNIUK’S FUGITIVES AND REFUGEES 10 YEARS LATER. BY M ATTHEW KOR FHAGE mkorfhage@wweek.com

In junior high, they give you To Kill a Mockingbird. In high school, it’s The Catcher in the Rye. In Texas, we presume, they give you a Bible and a gun. In Portland, sooner or later most new arrivals are handed a slim, smudgy volume that looks to have been stained by coffee and burnt by cigarettes. It is adorned on its front by an ominous gang of bleary-eyed Santas. “This is the best book,” your friend tells you. Chuck Palahniuk’s Fugitives and Refugees was published on July 8, 2003—10 years ago this Monday. It’s a travel guide to a Portland that no longer exists, a calico mutt of misfit humanity that was dispersing even as its pages were written. But transience is the book’s essential virtue: It does not describe a Portland you are expected to visit. It’s instead a lens by which to see the Portland before you today, a compendium of the oddball and fringe and by-the-wayside that has become central to how our city understands itself. Unlike the Portlandia television series— or myriad proper guidebooks—Fugitives treats its subjects not with shallow bemusement but with humane generosity, plus a touch of sadness that it will all pass unnoticed. Palahniuk may always be best known as the author of Fight Club, but in this city, Fugitives has touched the broadest range of people. I carried it around for a month while researching this article, prompting a succession of strangers to meekly approach. “That is the best book,” they say. He almost didn’t write it. Originally,

Palahniuk declined Crown Publishing ’s offer to write a hometown travel guide. “I was on deadline for another book,” Palahniuk tells WW from his home in the Columbia Gorge, where he moved for solitude in 2005 after the death of his mother. “I said, ‘If you pay me what you paid Michael Cunningham [for Land’s End, a guide to Provincetown, Mass.], I’ll do it.’ Michael had a book called The Hours out, and it was the biggest thing in the world for that year.” Guides generally become obsolete the moment they are written. Cunningham’s book is now out of print, alongside every other guide in the series except one: Fugitives and Refugees. In part this is because Fugitives and Refugees is the closest Palahniuk, whose fans are known for their cultish devotion, has come to autobiography; he chronicles his life of muggings and fleeting ecstasies in a series of “postcards.” Yet most who read it are not part of the cult of Chuck. The book endures because it is more than a curio cabinet of “secret Portland.” In its loving attention to quixotic toy museums, sex clubs and feral cat colonies, Fugitives grants our city the dignity of a shared mythology.

CHUCK PALAHNIUK S H AW N G R A N T

Willamette Week JULY 3, 2013 wweek.com

“Over the 10 years it’s lived on our shelves,” says Michal Drannen of Powell’s City of Books, “its sales velocity doesn’t appear to be diminishing.” The book has been translated into Italian, Polish and Turkish, and still makes regular appearances on Powell’s weekly bestseller list. Sales figures were not disclosed, but it’s now in its 14th printing. Portland is rightly celebrated for its food and cultural boom, its mecca status for the aimless college graduates who arrive here with scripts already written in their heads. But that comes at the expense of the improvisational, down-and-out Portland of the recent past. “Monica [Drake] and I get together and mourn that city and that sense of possibility,” says Palahniuk, “Satyricon and Fellini and those great old abandoned Portland warehouses where people could create art and have a space.” “On one level,” says Palahniuk of Portland now, “it seems completely obliterated. We don’t have these great old spaces and underused properties people could camp out in and make their art in. On the other hand, it seems like a fantastically young city, and I don’t just say this because of my age now. These neighborhoods that used to be all aging hippies are now full of young people. “Back then if you saw a young person, they would be an exception. You had to go to Beaverton to see young people.” But, of course, it’s not all gone. Ten years later, WW checks in with the people and places in Fugitives and Refugees, to see if they’ve fled, passed or joined New Portland. Here, we bring you some of the more interesting bits. Online at wweek.com, we revisit each and every one, if only to tell you that, yes, the Grotto is still the Grotto. CONT. on page 16

MORGAN GREEN-HOPKINS

Willamette Week JULY 3, 2013 wweek.com

CAPTURE OR ASYLUM

CONT. E VA N J O H N S O N

KATHERINE DUNN

The phrase “fugitives and refugees” comes from another Portland writer, Katherine Dunn, the author of Geek Love (and former longtime WW staffer). Fugitives begins in her Northwest Portland living room, as she rolls cigarettes. Portland, she tells Palahniuk, is the cheapest city available to those who fled west from civilization, the “misfits of the misfits.” The fugitives and refugees. “I still feel kind of a remorse over Katherine Dunn,” Palahniuk says. “I kind of insinuated myself into her apartment one afternoon. Basically I turned that conversation into fodder for a book, and she is such a private person. I’ve never really apologized to her for it.” Dunn declined to talk about Fugitives and Refugees, but she still lives in Northwest Portland. Palahniuk says the two of them are still in touch. In North Carolina, he came across a warehouse staffed by robots that do nothing but sort books. “I saw a whole semitrailer full of Geek Love that had never been touched by human hands,” Palahniuk says. “She loved that.”

HIPPO HARDWARE

KIDD’S TOYS: Frank Kidd’s collection of pre-war toys, banks and railroad locks numbers over 10,000. He began collecting in 1965.

Michael?” Miller says. “That it didn’t come from me?”

UN-HAUNTINGS

Ghosts got a lot of space in Palahniuk’s book, but most of the ones he wrote about have seemingly moved on. The ghost at the North Portland Library hasn’t been sighted since the old chapel became the McMenamins Chapel Pub. Jay Lucas, night auditor of the Heathman Hotel, says he hasn’t seen anything peculiar. Neither have the people we contacted at the Kmart on Northeast 122nd Avenue and Sandy Boulevard, at the Maryhill Museum of Art or around Cathedral Park. Meanwhile, the Rose and Raindrop’s restrooms are tucked within a closed branch of Northwest Bank, haunting only themselves. Lydia, the Pied Cow Coffeehouse’s ghost, is still around. But she’s boring, says employee Zachary Schauer. He saw her, he says, “at the end of a really long shift. I just CAMERONBROWNE.COM

Ten years after Palahniuk’s visit to the shop, pieces of Portland history still wash up at the Hippo Hardware antique and oddity shop on East Burnside Street: the original doorstop for The Oregonian offices, a kerosene-heated bathtub from a covered wagon, an ancient baby bath from the Albertina Kerr Nursery and a shower assembly from Pittock Mansion. There’s also a straight-out-of-the-box 1963 combination salad shredder, cheese grater, dough hooker, juicer and kitchen sink like the one used on The Mary Tyler Moore Show. The same owners, Steven Miller and Stephen Oppenheim, still preside gleefully over the menagerie. In 2007, when the cast of MTV’s Jackass came to defecate loudly in one of the disconnected toilets on the shop floor, Miller was in on the joke. He was the only one. He used the chance to punk his plumbing-section manager, who was publicly unamused. The Jackass producers bought the toilet, but Miller had to run across the street to stop the film crew from heaving the biohazard-filled porcelain into the dumpster of Michael’s Italian Beef and Sausage Co. “What would I have told

didn’t give a shit and went upstairs. “Several different people have seen her, and nothing really crazy has happened. It’s a pretty typical young Catholic girl in a white dress kind of deal.”

KIDD’S TOY MUSEUM

Former U.S. Air Force Capt. Frank Kidd, now 82 years old, still presides over a massive collection of antique toys and banks, railroad locks and beautiful die-cast models emblazoned with his name at the nighunmarked Kidd’s Toy Museum at 1301 SE Grand Ave. He’s also the landlord for Coava Coffee, right across the street. But the museum’s borders have receded, and much of Kidd’s collection is stored in countless unseen tubs. And although Kidd still continues to buy whatever catches his eye, he remembers most vividly what he’s lost. “I can’t tell you what I’ve picked up in the past 10 years,” he says, “but I can tell you every single thing I’ve compacted.” He was robbed twice in the past three years, once of $350,000 worth of toys stored at his daughter’s home, and once of several gold coins in a smash-and-grab robbery at the museum, whose display cases Kidd has since fortified. The first thieves were caught. “The state sends me a check for $50 every now and then,” he says, describing the meager restitution he receives. But the toys are gone. “Sometimes I see something that I know is mine, but why would they believe me?” Still, he doesn’t plan to move the toys to a new neighborhood: “Everything stays, that’s the plan. They stay. I go.”

SELF-CLEANING HOUSE SWING CLUB: The sling room at Steam Portland. According to a former employee, a “code brown” means you should probably get out of the bathhouse’s hot tub.

Willamette Week JULY 3, 2013 wweek.com

Palahniuk visited the fiercely independent Frances Gabe, now age 98 and owner of more than 60 patents, including one for a home that could clean itself. Inside her self-cleaning concrete house in Newberg, everything was waterproofed, from plasti-

cened paintings to watertight boxes storing books and valuables. The place was, essentially, a giant floor-to-ceiling dishwasher, with rotating water jets on the ceiling and floors gently sloped to drains. At the time, there were free tours. No more. Gabe sold her home in 2008 and lives in a managed-care facility. Sterling Parker, the self-cleaning house’s current owner, says most of the plumbing had been removed when he bought the property— although he wouldn’t rule out the possibility of reinstalling it from memory if he thought there might be interest. He plans to use the property as a wintering habitat for honeybee colonies, and as a campground for long-distance cyclists.

GATEWAY TO THE GAYWAY

The four-story Club Portland, which was listed in Fugitives as Portland’s last gay bathhouse, turned out to be far from the last. The seamy, steamy standby stepped aside in 2007 to make room for McMenamins’ Crystal Hotel, whose website happily trumpets the building’s history as louche gambling den and gay playground. (Al’s Den, a bar and performance venue in the basement, is a bit less forthcoming about its past as a jack-off club called Zippers Down.) But two newer gay bathhouses have sprung up since Palahniuk wrote his book. The two-story Steam Portland on Northeast Sandy Boulevard is a decade old and features a nude sun deck, many video booths, a hot tub, steam bath and lounge. HawksPDX on Southeast Grand Avenue is a newer steam-roomed entrant in the inner east side: less porn, more glory holes, more theme parties and much more emphasis on the lounge space. As an added attraction, HIV-positive porn star Dice is on staff. Both clubs offer free HIV/STD testing several CONT. on page 18

Demons are real?

2013 THINK & DRINK

How to Love America

SCOOP GOSSIP SHOULD HAVE NO FRIENDS

PAGE 26

FOR ALL THE WORLD TO SEE Visual Culture & the Struggle for Civil Rights

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Saturday, July 6 Reed College: Kaul Auditorium, 8 pm Sunday, July 7 St. Mary’s Academy, 4 pm CMNW’s 43rd Summer Festival presents some of the nation’s leading jazz musicians in the world premiere of Darrell Grant’s “The Territory.” TICKETS & INFO: www.cmnw.org · 503-294-6400 Prices start at $25. Full-time students $15 (with ID)

DARRELL GRANT STEVE WILSON JOE LOCKE CLARK SOMMERS BRIAN BLADE

with Hamilton Cheifetz, Marilyn Keller, Thomas Barber and Kirt Peterson Go Inside the Territory at youtube.com/chambermusicnw “The Territory” by Darrell Grant and the Darrell Grant Ensemble has been made possible with support from Chamber Music America’s 2012 New Jazz Works: Commissioning and Ensemble Development program funded through the generosity of the Doris Duke Charitable Foundation.

Willamette Week JULY 3 wweek.com

CONT. E VA N J O H N S O N

CAPTURE OR ASYLUM

times a month. Each claims it is the only one in town to do so.

PORTLAND MEMORIAL

Sellwood’s massive apartment complex for the dead, the century-old Portland Memorial mausoleum in Sellwood, described in Fugitives as a place to get lost panicstricken amid a labyrinth of monuments to the passed, is no longer open to the general public. “I hope you take out some of the references he had about it being one of the best places to drop acid,” says David Schroeder, CEO of the local five-cemetery chain that now runs Wilhelm’s Portland Memorial Funeral Home. (Palahniuk had actually suggested reading a book there.) “A number of people filming videos and doing strange things in there upset a lot of people, so they secured the mausoleum in 2008,” Schroeder says. “People only go in if they have a real reason to go.” Palahniuk says it was a popular place for goth sex, and cites unconfirmed reports of suicides there: “It wasn’t good for business, obviously.” The Memorial (and the families whose relatives are stored there) apparently agreed, although the family-run mausoleum still offers organized tours of the historic crypts three times a year. The ranks of the dead have swelled from 58,000 in 2003 to more than 75,000 today. There is still room for perhaps a third of Portlanders, should so many decide to go.

DARCELLE XV

“MY DREAM IS, IT HAPPENS IN FRONT OF A PACKED HOUSE. THERE WILL BE THIS PILE OF DUST ON THE STAGE, AND THEN THEY THROW ME OUT INTO THE GUTTER AND THE SHOW GOES ON WITHOUT ME.” —DARCELLE XV

six or seven times a week. Cole says he won’t stop while he’s still kicking, that stopping work is what kills people. “My dream is, it happens in front of a packed house,” he says. “There will just be this pile of dust on the stage, and then they throw me out into the gutter and the show goes on without me.”

THE DEATH OF THE ROSE FESTIVAL FLOATS

E VA N J O H N S O N

“I think some people would say I’m still telling the same jokes I did 10 years ago,” says Walter Cole, who has performed for 46 years as the wisecracking drag queen Darcelle XV. “But why change it if it works?” He’s been at his eponymous Old Town nightspot so long that three generations of family arrive together to see his show; meanwhile, his own son, Jay, works behind the bar. Cole still makes his own costumes to become Darcelle XV, but no longer cleans the club’s restrooms as he did in Fugitives. “I’ve got other people to do that now,” he says. He’s had both knees replaced, and he doesn’t take any chances. “If they go out again,” he says, “that’s it.” Even at age 82, Darcelle XV is onstage

DEFLOWERING PORTLAND: A volunteer tears the Rose Festival Grand Floral Parade down to its bits at the Northwest Industrial warehouse where floats are both made and destroyed.

DOPPELDOUGLAS: This tree at tiny Mill Ends Park is a replacement for one stolen this spring. The original tree, which was recovered, is now at Mount Tabor.

Willamette Week JULY 3, 2013 wweek.com

“I’ve been here 23 years,” says Kendra Comerford, vice president of the company that makes the Rose Festival floats. “I think one year they did it in the Rose Quarter.” That was the year, 1992, when Palahniuk happened across the carnage near the Lloyd Center shopping mall, and described headbangers blasting boom boxes and tearing the day-old parade floats to bits, crushing the wilting flowers. Every subsequent year, the floats have been dismantled in a Northwest Industrial District warehouse (2448 NE Vaughn St.), the same place they were built by a team of volunteers. The number of floats has been dwindling since 2008, victims of the economy and perhaps a broader decline in corporate civics. This year, on the morning of Monday, June 10, the workers’ music was private, blasting in earbuds. The Reser’s Fine Foods alligator, covered in artichoke leaves, has wounds in his shoulder that look to come from a massive shotgun blast. The Alaska Airlines bear’s left butt cheek is flung wide open to reveal a steering wheel within. On the floral parade floats, every visible surface must be organic, and so it is: seeds, flowers and grass. Cotton feels almost like cheating, but there it is on the bear, dyed taupe. The throne of the festival queen stands deflowered. The Oregonian’s float promises that every party begins with the O. The roadster float from Spokane, Wash., is a loaner meant for a paper parade, so its flowers are stripped to leave tinsel behind.

And when it reaches Spokane, “the lilac city,” all of its own lilacs will be long since tilled into the soil.

LARGEST AND SMALLEST PARKS

It is an enduring Portland myth that we have both the largest and smallest city parks in the world—one Palahniuk repeated in his book, though he hedged by calling Forest Park the largest “municipal forested park,” ignoring the vast Saguaro cactus “forests” of Phoenix’s South Mountain Park, which is three times Forest Park’s size. But we no longer own the largest even with asterisks. Jefferson Memorial Forest in Louisville, Ky., connected three separate patches of forest in 2009 to surpass the contiguous area of Portland’s Forest Park by 1,000 acres. Our titleholder for smallest city park— the 2-foot-wide Mill Ends Park on Southwest Naito Parkway—is also under attack. Promoters in Britain this year petitioned Guinness World Records, saying that Mill Ends was not a park but a “glorified flower pot,” nominating instead Prince’s Park in Burntwood, England. They cited in particular Prince’s Park’s fence and bench. Portlanders responded by building a miniature fence and bench for Mill Ends, plus a soldier with a bazooka, presumably to keep the British out. The fence and armed forces have since been removed.

JEFFERSON THEATRE

In January 2003, when Fugitives was in galleys, Jefferson Theatre owner Ray Billings, whose establishment showed porn movies, disappeared. He left behind a lawsuit, a pile of debts, a young Thai boyfriend and a half-finished Thai restaurant in Astoria. He returned in July 2005 as mysteriously as he’d left, to find $25,000 in his bank account. While he was gone, a lawyer had CONT. on page 20

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taken over Jefferson Theatre and nursed Billings’ affairs back to health. The theater was demolished by the Portland Development Commission in 2007, and replaced with a posh LEED -certified apartment building called the Jeffrey. Billings, undeterred, packed up his porn and took it to the century-old Paris Theatre, across West Burnside Street from the adult bookstore pushed out of business by Commissioner Randy Leonard because it was a magnet for unseemly activity. (The bookstore’s property is now a village for the homeless, called “Right 2 Dream Too.”) Ray’s Paris Theatre offers a stage where couples can have sex in front of a crowd, plus a “perky exam table” and a “voyeuristic bedroom.” But despite the many couples offerings, a recent visit finds a smattering of middleaged men watching a massive projection of tattooed teenage girls being sloppily choked and slapped in the face. The men in the seats have their pants on and look nervous. The men standing in the aisles do not have their pants on, and look very comfortable. As you enter, all faces—translucent in the pale pink flicker of the theater—look away from the interlocking figures on the screen and gaze hopefully, instead, on you. Perhaps you will be something new. Perhaps you will be interesting.

A BRIEF BESTIARY

Bear season is over at the Dirty Duck Pub. The manly men now congregate at the “authentic, masculine” Eagle on North Lombard Street, which offers “Bearly Naked Billiards” on Thursdays. The historic Dirty Duck building in Old Town was demolished to make way for the kind mother hens at the new Blanchet House of Hospitality transitional shelter.

THE WILDCATS OF JELD-WEN FIELD

NECKING: According to one 2007 study, up to 94 percent of giraffe sex is male-on-male. Riley and Bakari are no exception.

renovation, leading them to safer parts of the stadium, away from what is now the Timbers Army cheering section. Between eight and 12 cats are still providing sterling rodent control: The team’s interest in the cats goes beyond preservation. The Timbers enlisted Karen Kraus of the Feral Cat Coalition of Oregon to help place a small colony of cats with the stadium for renewed mousing. Don’t bring unloved domestic cats here, though: They won’t be accepted by the wild ones, and will be harmed or driven away.

Cordon Bleu. Western Culinary’s dimestore luxury restaurant was replaced with a restaurant called Technique, which serves $11 hot dogs topped with squid ink. Technique is closed due to construction, and a voice recording promises that all phone calls will go unheeded, as “there is no one here to take your message.” Meanwhile, the school is facing a class-action lawsuit by former students claiming that aggressive salespeople promised the aspiring chefs jobs that did not exist.

WESTERN CULINARY INSTITUTE AMATEUR LUNCH HOUR

In 2003, Palahniuk profiled Jeb Barsh, a fascinatingly empathetic head elephant keeper who became famous in 2004 as the man who taught Rama, an elephant at the Oregon Zoo, how to paint with both brush and trunk. The paintings, spatters of trunkblown abstraction and broad expressionist strokes, can sell for thousands. Barsh stepped away from elephants to the African Savanna exhibit in 2012, and declined to participate in this article. The new head elephant keeper, Bob Lee, was described by Palahniuk as one of three “very big men.” He is still a big man, with the sturdiness, high-and-tight haircut and hunkered gait of a linebacker. He is helping teach Samudra, the zoo’s 4-year-old bull, how to be a man. “In order for him to see what it looks like to be a big male,” Lee says, “we put his dad, Tusko, out there with him. He’s learning how to treat ladies and be a good bull.” He apparently needs the help: He was afraid of his comparatively tiny 7-month-old sister, Lily, when he met her. “She started chasing him,” Lee says, “and he went into full sprint, looking over his shoulder and just roaring.” Penguins: Mochica, the foot-fetishist penguin, is now a 20-year-old elder ambassador of the newly rehabbed penguinarium. He still loves shoes. He’s reportedly since humped the trademark cowboy boots of

In 2003, one could go to the Western Culinary Institute cooking school for a $10, high-end, five-course meal at lunchtime. Reservation spots filled quickly with wellto-do cheapskates living in the West Hills. Those meals are gone, as is the school’s name: In 2010, Western was renamed Le E VA N J O H N S O N

The Portland Beavers baseball team is gone, as are the cardboard-cutout “alley-cat races” that once graced the minor-league games. (The class-A Hillsboro Hops are now the area’s only pro baseball team.) But after a 2011 renovation required by Major League Soccer, the stadium’s feral cat colony remains. According to Ken Puckett of the Portland Timbers, staff moved the cats’ feeding stations bit by bit during the

E VA N J O H N S O N

CAPTURE OR ASYLUM

MAKE IT A CLEAN FIGHT: At Movie Madness, Fight Club director David Fincher’s signature on the back of the famous soap bar can be seen in the mirror.

Willamette Week JULY 3, 2013 wweek.com

A DAY AT THE ZOO

Gov. John Kitzhaber. He has also humped the shoes of the author of this article. Sea otters: Thelma and Eddie, both described in Fugitives, are still at the zoo. Eddie is a creaky 15 years old and arthritic, so zookeepers trained him to dunk a minibasketball to keep mobility in his front elbows, which gained him fleeting notoriety on YouTube. Eddie is known to zoo visitors for an entirely different habit, however, that zookeepers refer to politely as “selfreinforcing behavior.” It requires flexibility only certain mammals possess. Giraffes: Zoo spokeswoman Krista Swan says she sometimes sees on Facebook accounts that people are excited to witness giraffes mating at the zoo. There’s a catch, however: Five-year-old Bakari and 8-year-old Riley are both males. Riley and Bakari like to nuzzle necks, and sometimes Riley will mount Bakari from behind. As we watch, Riley sticks his head below Bakari’s belly. “Oh,” says zookeeper Kristina Smith. “Riley likes to lick his pee, too. When Bakari’s peeing, he tastes it and then makes a funny face.”

MOVIE MADNESS

Six years after Palahniuk wrote about the motley display of Hollywood artifacts behind glass at Movie Madness video store on Southeast Belmont Street, a piece of his own history turned up at the store’s museum: the bar of soap that Brad Pitt held in the Fight Club movie poster. The bar was donated by the film’s director, David Fincher, whose sister Emily lives in Portland. “She brought the soap in,” says Movie Madness owner Mike Clark. “It’s been really cool to have that here.” In 2012, things moved in the other direction: A man broke into a case and biked away from the store with a filched Winchester rifle used by John Wayne in The Man Who Shot LibCONT. on page 22

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CONT. E VA N J O H N S O N

CAPTURE OR ASYLUM

erty Valance, and a shotgun featured in The Wild Bunch. In February, though, a man hiking through Mount Tabor found the guns in a garbage bag and returned them to the store. “I think what happened,” says Clark, “is that when he stole them, he thought he could make a quick buck. But he didn’t have the authenticity to go with that. So they just sat somewhere.” In the meantime, Clark has picked up pieces from his two favorite movies. The first was a chair Ingrid Bergman used in Casablanca. From Citizen Kane he got a Fu Dog, a Chinese lion statue meant for watchful protection. It is, perhaps, best placed near the guns. Erick Duane Johnson, the man suspected of the original theft, is still at large.

SUICIDE BRIDGE

The Vista Bridge high above Southwest Jefferson Street, below which the city stretches out in dizzying panorama, remains a site for suicide—enough so that Mayor Charlie Hales asked the Bureau of Transportation to come up with a solution: barriers, assessed at a cost of $2.5 million. “If we can find that money,” Hales spokesman Dana Haynes told WW on June 6, “we think it’s a great idea.” In 2008, the U.S. Department of Transportation assessed the monetary value of a human life at $5.8 million.

A CONFEDERACY OF SANTAS

“IF YOU DON’T DO ONE THING THAT HAS THE POTENTIAL TO COMPLETELY FALL ON ITS FACE AND ONE THING THAT HAS THE POTENTIAL FOR MASS ARRESTS, YOU’VE FAILED.” —S.W. CONSER

MORGAN GREEN-HOPKINS

In 1996, Portland had its first Santacon, where Palahniuk was among hundreds of drunken people dressed as Santa facing down a wall of bullhorned police officers sworn to protect the sanctity of an urban shopping mall. So it was in the early days. In 2004, teams of transit police followed Santas on the newly forged MAX Yellow Line. In 2005, the Santas slow-crawled a van through downtown with fruitcake loaded onto a catapult. Police cars trailed it suspiciously. “If you don’t do one thing that has the potential to completely fall on its face and one thing that has the potential for mass arrests, you’ve failed,” says S.W. Conser, president of KBOO’s board of directors and a longtime Portland Cacophony Society organizer. Lately, the drunken Santas have entered the mainstream. A company called Stumptown Crawlers piggybacked on the idea by

DA BARGE: Kayleigh Taylor busts a Champagne bottle on the poetically named DT 216-7, which will carry wood chips.

staging a for-profit Santa crawl—popular with Beavertonians and Greshamites—that drew more than 1,000 Santas last year, according to organizers. Meanwhile, North Portland Santas were barred from generally laid-back bars, including beloved pub Saraveza, and the Eater food blog made anti-Santa signs meant to be printed by area restaurants. On June 29, a relatively tame and happy crew attended the Summer Santacon. The cadre of about 40 is more Burner than barnstormer. On an 84-degree day, the Santas hold a water-balloon fight in the park at the center of Ladd’s Addition. After the fight, they pick up every piece of water balloon—even though organizer Rich Mackin had made sure to buy biodegradable balloons. When the group crashes a cast reunion for Nickelodeon’s The Adventures of Pete & Pete, the cast members happily pull out their iPhones to film the Santas as they sing the show’s theme song very, very badly. The Santas then present them with “mutant” gifts—babies stabbed with Barbie legs and stuffed monkeys with hands where their genitals should be. For seven hours, the drunken Santas go from bar to bar, carrying hooch in zipper bags, but the only flashing lights that greet them come from myriad camera flashes. As one summer Santa strolls by with hairy male butt cheeks clenching a red thong, a passerby stops to marvel. “I guess Portland really is like the TV show,” he says.

BARGE IN

YOU BETTER WATCH OUT: These Santas are still sober. The situation will be remedied very, very soon.

Willamette Week JULY 3, 2013 wweek.com

There’s only one thing Palahniuk says he wishes he’d added to Fugitives and Refugees: barge-launching ceremonies at Gunderson Marine on the Willamette in Northwest Portland. “When I worked at Freightliner,” he says, “Gunderson was right across the river.

You could call up and ask when it would be. They’d break a bottle over the barge and watch it splash down into the water.” Gunderson still launches between five and nine barges a year. The boats are up to 400 feet long and take up to six months to build. Hundreds of people sometimes come to watch a boat slide into the water. On June 30, about 50 came to watch the launch of DT 216-7. According to Mark Eitzen, general manager of Gunderson Marine, their customer, Dunlap Towing Company, prefers to hold a larger ceremony at the company’s home in Puget Sound. It is a small boat, Eitzen says, only 250 feet long and meant to transport wood chips. Bagpipes, the traditional soundtrack to a barge launch, are played on an iPhone. The young woman enlisted to christen the barge with Champagne stifles a giggle when she completes the part of her speech that includes “God bless.” Before smashing the bottle, she holds it in front of the boat in midswing pantomime for the benefit of the cameras. The cable is cut and the massive barge creaks against piles of wood for a few moments before the sudden shock of its fast slide into the water. It is accompanied by a tremendous sideways splash that seems dangerous; it’s like a 100-ton kid on a water slide. The barge takes with it a wreckage of the scrap wood that had held it aloft on the shoreline. Little boats tow floater lines around the scrap as the barge twists away from the shore. The scene looks for all the world like the Gulf of Mexico oil cleanup in miniature—a subtle reminder that Gunderson is one of the main parties involved in the Portland Harbor Superfund cleanup that remains mired in negotiations. The barge drifts awkwardly away, its course still not steady. Arts and culture intern Richard Grunert contributed to this story.

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CARS FINALLY BANNED IN VANCOUVER: The Portlandification of Vancouver hits a crucial stage this summer as residents of the Washington burg will finally be forced to cede their streets to cyclists and pedestrians. According to bikeportland.org, ’Couvians will have to leave their SUVs idling in their driveways Aug. 18 as “Sunday Streets Alive,” a knockoff of Portland’s popular Sunday Parkways, disallows cars on a four-mile loop in and around downtown. The event will run from 11 am to 4 pm, when ’Couvians will be trapped in their homes with nothing to do but toss Styrofoam in the burn barrel and watch premium cable-television programs.

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BALLERINA GOES TO THE ’BURBS: Less than a month after being passed over for the artistic-director position at Oregon Ballet Theatre, Anne Mueller has been named managing director of Bag&Baggage Productions. The former principal dancer, who served as OBT’s interim artistic director after Christopher Stowell’s abrupt departure last December, will begin KABUKI TITUS the new role in August, but she’s not new to the Hillsboro theater company. She appeared in last summer’s Kabuki Titus, and she’s known artistic director Scott Palmer—who is Stowell’s partner—for years. Palmer says Mueller’s managerial experience will help the small, 5-year-old company become more financially robust, adding that her reputation within the local arts community should also draw Portland audiences. “Anne’s familiarity with us, her profile in the region and her experience with OBT made her the obvious decision,” Palmer says. “This lifts the presence of the organization outside of Washington County.”

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TBA MOVES: The Portland Institute for Contemporary Art has announced the lineup for September’s Time-Based Art Festival, and with it confirmation of the long-rumbling rumors that the 10-day fest would leave Southeast’s Washington High School. In a move that fits TBA’s history of transience—a year at Wonder Ballroom, one at the Leftbank Project, four at Washington High—the late-night, social hub of the festival will move to TBA FESTIVAL a former Con-Way warehouse in Northwest Portland. It’s guaranteed to be another one-year stint: By next year, that lot will house a New Seasons Market. The 11th annual festival runs Sept. 12-22, with a lineup especially strong on Latin American theater and North African dance.

JAMES REXROAD

CHECK IN: Multnomah County libraries, which last year closed on Mondays during a push for a tax levy, have resumed seven-day service. Having asked voters to approve a levy that gives the library system its own voter-approved tax revenue stream, the library cited a “budget shortfall” as the reason to cut hours. Coffers recharged, the library has expanded hours, reopening all locations on Mondays, and will be adding both bestsellers and digital content.

HEADOUT

WILLAMETTE WEEK

WHAT TO DO THIS WEEK IN ARTS & CULTURE

WEDNESDAY JULY 3 P H OTO I L L U S T R AT I O N S : W W S TA F F

ONUINU, WAMPIRE [MUSIC] One year later, Mirror Gazer, the debut album from Dorian Duvall, aka Onuinu, remains a sizzling, summery collection of stoned disco jams, combining lounge, R&B, house, pop and experimental electronica into a vibrant, hip-loosening mosaic. He shares the stage here with psych-pop masters Wampire, whose own album, Curiosity, is one of the best to come out of Portland so far in 2013. Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison St., 239-7639. 8:30 pm. $8 advance, $10 day of show. 21+.

THURSDAY JULY 4 FOURTH OF JULY [HOLIDAYS] A few things to keep in mind on America’s birthday: It’s not an open container if it’s in a koozie, only an elitist will refuse a hot dog and it’s wise to keep a few fireworks on hand—if only to shoot toward neighbors who won’t shut up and go to bed by midnight.

WE GOT THE BEASTS

WHO DO THE OREGON ZOO’S ROCK-’N’-ROLL ANIMALS DIG MORE: HUEY LEWIS, THE B-52S OR THE GO-GO’S? The animals of the Oregon Zoo might as well be living in Guantanamo Bay—or at least in the town from Footloose. Within the animals’ gilded cages, rock ’n’ roll is contraband: A sign at the zoo’s entrance warns that all “noise devices” are strictly prohibited, with illustrations of a speaker and a guitar provided as examples of banned items. This is grossly unfair. Every summer, plenty of “noise devices” are allowed beyond the gates, as part of the zoo’s Summer Concert Series. Apparently, inside the walls of this maximum-security menagerie, the right to party applies to humans only. No one even bothers to consult the residents on what they’d prefer to hear. That’s why, on a soggy afternoon, we risked banishment by smuggling in a portable speaker and treating these furry prisoners to the sounds of three upcoming zoo performers—yuppie-rock icon Huey Lewis and New Wave darlings the B-52s and the Go-Go’s—and observing their reactions to gauge who, if any, they’re most excited to be hosting. MATTHEW SINGER. GAZELLE Huey Lewis: Turns head in general direction of the music. Continues chilling on the wet grass. The B-52s: Glances around more desperately. Ultimately keeps chilling. The Go-Go’s: Stands up, gradually retreats further into the enclosure. Conclusion: Gazelles fear Belinda Carlisle.

MALAYAN SUN BEAR Huey Lewis: Huey wants a new drug. Sun bear wants, like, grubs or something. The B-52s: Turns its back on “Rock Lobster,” sits down. The Go-Go’s: Returns to foraging. Conclusion: New Wave never came to Southeast Asia, apparently.

GIRAFFE Huey Lewis: Stares directly at source, enraptured. The B-52s: Looks disappointed, as if it wanted more Sports. The Go-Go’s: It really just wants to hear “The Power of Love.” Conclusion: Giraffes are basically your dad.

ELEPHANT Huey Lewis: A whole lot of plodding going on. And urinating. From their massive elephant penises. The B-52’s: Kate Pierson’s voice causes Packy to lose his shit. Literally. The Go-Go’s: A zoo employee appears, forcing us to abort mission. Conclusion: Elephant genitals are frightening.

MANDRILL Huey Lewis: Thirty seconds into “Heart and Soul,” the clown-faced primate drops its chew stick, clearly disgusted with the overly slick ’80s production. The B-52s: Eyes dart rapidly, as if searching for a memory from its youth. The Go-Go’s: Chews dispassionately; leaves tumble from its mouth. Conclusion: Mandrills dig the B-52s. Makes sense: Their snouts look like one of the band’s album covers exploded in their face. COUGAR Huey Lewis: Prowls. Looks up in recognition. Continues prowling. The B-52’s: Licks grass. The Go-Go’s: Continues licking grass. Conclusion: Frankly, cougars are probably most excited about Chris Isaak coming in August.

SEE IT: Huey Lewis and the News play Oregon Zoo, 4001 SW Canyon Road, 226-1561, on Saturday, July 6. 7 pm. Sold out. The B-52’s and the Go-Go’s play Sunday, July 7. 7 pm. $41.50-$61.50. All ages.

WATERFRONT BLUES FESTIVAL [MUSIC] From top to bottom, this is almost certainly the biggest edition of the festival in its 36-year history. Robert Plant, Eric Burdon and Mavis Staples bring the pedigree, but the undercard—from ace Portland second-liners the Transcendental Brass Band to the annual zydeco stage—is solid, too. Gov. Tom McCall Waterfront Park, Southwest Naito Parkway between Harrison and Glisan streets. Through Sunday, July 7. See waterfrontbluesfest.com.

FRIDAY JULY 5 TIL DEATH: THE SIX WIVES OF HENRY VIII [THEATER] Henry VIII had six wives, and Tara Travis plays them all (plus the gluttonous playboy himself) in this solo show, which takes place in the afterlife as the slain ladies spill secrets and hash it out with each other. Expect a game of keepaway with Anne Boleyn’s head. The CoHo Theater, 2257 NW Raleigh St., 7151114. 7:30 pm. $15.

TUESDAY JULY 9 DIARRHEA PLANET [MUSIC] That name got your attention, didn’t it? Shocking as it is to believe, this Nashville party-metal combo is experiencing what some might call “a moment.” It’s got the endorsement of Jack White, raucous house-show energy and a pulverizing crowd-pleaser called “Ghost With a Boner.” It’s loud, fast, corny— and worth every penny. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., 2319663. 9 pm. $10. 21+. PUZZLED PINT [BEER AND PUZZLES] Solve logic puzzles as they should be solved— while imbibing. For this monthly event, Puzzled Pint posts a puzzle online, which leads to the first bar. From there, drink and solve and drink some more. Visit puzzledpint. com at 6 pm on Monday, July, 8 to find the location puzzle for Tuesday night’s bar. Willamette Week JULY 3, 2013 wweek.com

FOOD & DRINK REVIEW AMAREN COLOSI

= WW Pick. Highly recommended. By HALEY MARTIN. PRICES: $: Most entrees under $10. $$: $10-$20. $$$: $20-$30. $$$$: Above $30. Editor: MARTIN CIZMAR. Email: dish@wweek.com. See page 3 for submission instructions.

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Commemorate our nation’s birthday at one of Portland’s oldest restaurants. Grab a blanket and head to the expansive garden at century-old Besaw’s to fuel up for the night’s festivities with a grilled elk burger, veggie skewers and sausages. Besaw’s Cafe, 2301 NW Savier St., 228-2619. 4-7 pm. $16.

Fireworks Dinner at Quartet LOCATION HOURS:

Mon-Thurs 11am-11pm Friday 11am-Midnight Saturday 10am-Midnight Sunday 10am-11pm

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Don’t care to fight for a spot to watch the fireworks? If you have $150 to drop, Quartet has a killer view of the explosions over the Willamette. Quartet’s food isn’t great for the price, but you will get appetizers, surf, turf, wine and a patriotic-themed dessert. Fireworks at 10 pm. Quartet, 1910 SW River Drive, 222-7300. $150.

FRIDAY, JULY 5 Portland Food Cart Tour

Local guides lead a two-hour, mile-long walking tour of food carts featuring fare covering Venezuelan to Vietnamese. We don’t know where they’re going, so we can’t vouch for their picks, but it looks like a good idea. Call 405-8999 for reservations; meet in the Mark Spencer Hotel lobby. Mark Spencer Hotel, 409 SW 11th Ave., Friday and Saturday, July 5-6. 1 pm. $49.

SATURDAY, JULY 6 Authentic Thai Course

Noriko Hirayama will teach the Thai method of making red curry paste with a stone mortar and pestle, along with five other dishes, including tom kha gai, Thai-style fish cakes with red curry, mango and sticky rice. Vegetarian options are available. Miso Magic School of Japanese and Thai Cooking, 1332 SE 44th Ave., 867-6367. 1-4 pm. Registration required. $80.

Burnside Brewing: Brew Masterpiece Theater

Burnside Brewing kicks off its third annual Brew Masterpiece Theater, which continues on Aug. 3 and Sept. 7. Raiders of the Lost Ark will be projected on a 16-foot screen and supplemented with a hoppy, low-alcohol India Session Ale-style beer called the Henry Jones Jr. All proceeds benefit the nonprofit Hollywood Theatre. BYO chair or blanket. Burnside Brewing Co., 701 E Burnside St., 946-8151. Dusk. Free. 21+.

SUNDAY, JULY 7 Berry Pie Baking 101

Got a bag full of wild berries but no idea what to do with it? This class will give you the tools to make a two-crust berry pie from scratch. Bring your pie tin and apron. Berries provided. In Good Taste Cooking School, 6302 SW Meadows Road, Lake Oswego, 248-2015. 2 pm. $45.

Willamette Week JULY 3, 2013 wweek.com

TREY CHIC: Cambodia’s national dish, amok trey.

SOK SAB BAI Sometimes it’s the simple things that leave you reeling. Remember your first Ike’s Wings? Even if you’d known great chicken wings, there’s something special about Pok Pok’s signature dish, whole flappers doused in an enchanting blend of fish sauce and spices. Sok Sab Bai does it with cracklings. Maybe you’ve had a fancy version of pork rinds before—the Woodsman Tavern, Lardo and Grain & Gristle are known for them—but they’re nothing like these fried chicken skins. The recipe seems simple enough: crunchy, warm skins with a sprinkle of Japanese seven-spice. But after you’ve tried them, your standard for the truck-stop staple will never be the same. And so Sok Sab Bai—Portland’s only Cambodian restaurant, spawned from Portland’s only Cambodian food cart and now tucked into an old house next to St. Jack on Southeast 21st Street— won me over in only 10 minutes and $3. That feeling continued through the last grains of white rice soaked in chef Nyno Thol’s hand-tremblingly addictive Da sauce. Start with the skins, but also check out amok trey ($10), Cambodia’s national dish: tender chunks of steamed catfish marinated in coconut milk and fish paste. It’s served in a bamboo steamer with dipper-sized cuts of cucumber, purple cabbage and Thai eggplant. We were also impressed with the beef ceviche (plea sach Order this: Chicken skins ($3), Nyno’s ko, $7) a cold salad of thin chicken plate ($11). steak bathed in lime juice and Best deal: Plea sach ko ($7). sprinkled with peanuts, mint I’ll pass: A spoonful of the extra-hot “sauce” from the little cart of seaand peppers. If you’re feeling soning cups, which is just ground-up less adventurous, try a plate chili-pepper seeds. Actually, I’ll take of two fluffy pork-belly bao some—but be a little more judicious with it. ($6), stuffed with a few pieces of tender meat, a slice of jalapeño and a whole banh mi’s worth of carrots, daikon and cilantro. Cambodians eat soup with most meals, but I tried only one: a slightly sweet pork stew called caw ($13) with boiled peanuts, bamboo shoots and a quail egg in a simple chicken curry. I’d rather skip straight to the entrees, which are served with sizeable piles of rice and salad, plus a little mound of pickled things. There, you’ll find three short links of smoky, slightly charred Khmer-spiced sausage ($13) to be dipped in the Sok Sab Bai version of salsa, a little square dish of cherry tomatoes, onion, cilantro and hot sauce. Nyno’s chicken plate ($11) is an even better bargain—a large portion of grilled chicken slathered in the house’s own bright orange sauce. Speaking of Da sauce: It’s damned good. It punches sweet, hot and salty buttons in a way that leaves you eyeing everything on the table, scrambling to find another suitable receptacle. Our two mostly untouched piles of rice were consumed bathed in the sauce. It would have been great to try it on the chicken skins, too. Those were long, long gone. MARTIN CIZMAR. EAT: Sok Sab Bai, 2625 SE 21st St., 971-255-0292, soksabbai.com. 11 am-9 pm Monday-Saturday, 11 am-8 pm Sunday. $$.

FOOD & DRINK M AT T H E W B I L L I N G TO N

DRANK was regular Coors, back when the Colorado company still refused to pasteurize its product.

d en

% Spet 20

F! OF

TASTING NOTES: “The sparkler of beers: Totally inoffensive but equally uninteresting.” “A little soapy, but I still like it.” “Perfect for a pitcher and a night of Settlers of Catan.

5. Bud Light Lime (52)

Put some chili powder on the rim and you’ve almost got a Michelada. Algunos de los gringos no les gustó. TASTING NOTES: “There’s a lotta lime in this lager; tastes like Blue Texas.” “I have had a lot of beer like this in Mexico. If you don’t like this, you’re maybe racist.” “I’d prefer Tecate with a real lime.”

Mon - Sat: 11:30AM - 9PM • Closed Sundays Daily Happy Hour 3-6PM 8000 SE 13th Ave, Portland, OR • 503-238-7255 opapizzariaportland.com

6. Miller Lite (48.3)

We poured this sample from a regular can. Had it been poured from a vortex bottle, the results may have been very different. TASTING NOTES: “Bleh.” “Beer for sad people.”

LITE-N UP

7. Keystone Light (44.1)

IN HONOR OF AMERICA, A BLIND TASTING OF LIGHT LAGERS. BY WW STA F F

243-2122

American beer has moved on without us. As we’ve been drinking sour elderberry stouts in our Portland bubble, Budweiser has expanded into Platinum, Select and Black Crown varieties. Meanwhile, Coors cans have two temperature indicators and a weird vent thing, and Miller Lite pours through a vortex. In honor of the Fourth of July, we decided to reacquaint ourselves with the suds of our younger years, revisiting what most of our countrymen still call “beer.” That is, light (or lite) beer. More than half of American beer is a light lager. Bud Light and Coors Light together account for nearly 40 percent of all beer sold in this country. Honestly, we had no idea what to expect. Would we recognize Bud, Miller or Coors? Is Bud Light Lime more like kaffir or Key limes? Six WW tasters put the beers through a blind taste test to find out, grading these brews on a 100-point scale. The lowest-calorie and lowest-alcohol brew in the bunch, Miller 64, actually won on flavor, barely muscling out Bud Light Platinum. Meanwhile, the two craftiest brews in the bunch— Sam Adams Light and locally made 4th Street Brewing Gresham Light—came in last. Rating just above them was another Portland sacred cow: the low-cal version of Pabst Blue Ribbon. What did we learn? You can’t beat corporate America on its own turf.

1. Miller 64 (61.8 points)

Regular Miller Genuine Draft is made with the same ingredients as Miller High Life. The difference? MGD was the first lager put through a process called cold filtering, which, unlike flavor-killing heat pasteurization, allowed it to taste more like kegged beer than competitors. This is the light version of MGD, a scant 64 calories and 2.4 percent alcohol by volume so you can easily pound a sixer all by yourself, just as George Washington intended. TASTING NOTES: “A little more substance that the others, but not too much.” “Doesn’t linger, which is to its credit.” “Refreshing. I like it.”

2. Bud Light Platinum (60)

What’s platinum about this higheralcohol version of Bud Light? Well, the bottles are an embarrassing hue of blue, and it’s a weighty 6 percent ABV. It’s also comparatively tasty.

TASTING NOTES: “Sweet. Bright. I like it.” “Weirdly citric.” “Very tasty.”

3. Bud Light Lime Straw-ber-rita (58)

This is beer? Well, sorta. A tall boy of this bright-pink strawberry-margarita-flavored Bud Light doesn’t taste like it’s 8 percent ABV. If Mike’s Hard Lemonade tastes a little too bitter for you, grab one of these. TASTING NOTES: “Sweet and fruity. I can tell it’s strong but can’t taste the booze—there’s a time and place for that!” “Like sugar and regret. Hello, spring break!” “Tastes like Hi-C. Reminds me of the first time I got drunk on St. Ides Special Brew.”

4. Coors Light (53)

Remember when Burt Reynolds was paid handsomely to bootleg Coors beer from Texas to Georgia? That

Regular Keystone is only 120 calories and 4.5 percent ABV, so one wonders why anyone needs a 104calorie, 4.13-percent ABV alternative, and yet here we are.

TASTING NOTES: “Sharper initial taste. Kinda makes my teeth feel weird. I did go to the dentist today, so I dunno.” “Tasteless. Is this water?” “A bit sharp; also maybe floral?”

8. Bud Light (43)

You heard it here first: America’s best-selling beer is not as good as America’s best-selling beer spiked with lime concentrate. TASTING NOTES: “Dull. Fine. Chalky.” “Depressingly middle of the road.” “Supremely uninspiring.”

9. Busch Light (39)

They call Busch Light “sub-premium.” Yup.

KAVA. DRINK ON THE WILD SIDE.

TASTING NOTES: “Some guy in Gresham drinks a case of this every night.” “Carbonated boredom.” “Like dusty air at a rodeo.”

10. PBR Light (33.3)

The little-seen light version of Portland’s standby brew did not impress our panel. TASTING NOTES: “Tastes like the vacuum of space. Does this exist?” “Well, it’s liquid and fairly cold, so that’s cool.” “Only tastes like urine if you warm it with your hands. Otherwise, it tastes like tap water.”

11. Gresham Light (19.8)

Local isn’t always better—at least not with light beer. Purchased in a growler from Gresham’s 4th Street Brewing, which is on 4th Street, in Gresham, this light version of a craft ale may have suffered from a lack of focus-group research. TASTING NOTES: “Actually has some hops.” “Tastes like bread—awful bread.” “Yeasty.”

12. Sam Adams Light (16)

The most pretentious of the bunch, this snooty Bostonian brew was roundly despised by our all-American tasters. Sam Adams Light: it’s light treason. TASTING NOTES: “What a color! Too skunky.” “Smells like garbage. Tastes like garbage.” “Looks like beer. Tastes like garbage.”

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Read our story: canton-grill.com Willamette Week JULY 3, 2013 wweek.com

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A FREEWAY BREAKDOWN AND A NEW FRIEND.

Willamette Week JULY 3 2013 wweek.com

pcottell@wweek.com

I expect the gas station to be empty. It’s 11 pm on a Sunday night, and I’m out on the border of Gresham to check on my broken-down van and maybe slip inside for shuteye. Instead, I see someone I know. My trusted mechanic Robert sits behind the wheel of a red Chevy Blazer with a lit cigar in his mouth. He rolls down his window. “Hey man! I saw your van here and figured something was up. Is everything cool?” Everything is not cool. I explain how the van died en route to the Oregon Zoo on Saturday. I tell him how I watched the van leave for Gresham by tow truck and got a ride back to Portland to stay with a friend in a swanky apartment in the West Hills, drinking Moscow Mules and watching Garden State on a comfy couch. Robert listens with an arresting sense of empathy. After I’m done, Robert, a black guy in his mid50s who’s spent the majority of his life working in some offshoot of the automobile business on Portland’s east side, offers a dense, esoteric explanation of why he thinks the van crapped out while climbing a hill just outside of town. He looks lost in thought for a moment, then gestures toward the backseat of his Blazer, ashing his cigar. “This is where I’m staying these days,” he says. “If you need to chill here tonight, that’s cool. Just keep the lights off. Gotta be undercover out here.” This revelation leaves me feeling something like the van’s overwhelmed engine. Turns out, Robert also lives in his car, and in a neighborhood far less pleasant than where I’ve been staying. He deals with the addled squawks of the derelicts queuing up to sell plasma next door at the crack of dawn everyday. Here I am, a suburban shitbag living in his van as an experiment, playing tourist in a world where people call their vehicles home because it’s all they’ve got. The only time I’ve been near the edge, Robert actually got me out of it. He rode with me to the DEQ station when I took the van to get inspected. A state trooper stopped me for speeding—without insurance—and threatened to impound my newly purchased home. Robert talked the cop into letting me go with a warning. I’ve owed him a beer

since. Now that we’re roommates of a sort, I suggest drinks at the sports bar a few blocks away. “This place has excellent steak,” Robert says as a guy yelling something in Spanish into a disposable phone holds the door open for us. We drink Rolling Rocks and talk about cars, the Trail Blazers and troubles with the lady folk. Robert tells me about the variety of factors—child support, work turmoil, some trouble with the law—that led to his current situation. I tell him about the previous day, when I just wanted to drive to the zoo and play Huey Lewis for animals, only to end up stranded in the parking lot of a 76 station after the van hiccupped violently while climbing the hill. I tell him about the spindly, stoned-looking guy with a ponytail of dirty blond hair who sat on a milk crate next to my broken-down van and lit up a smoke. “Dude, sweet rig,” he said. “You should check out this article the Mercury or Willamette or whatever is running about this guy that lives in his van.” We down our beers just before a deluge of shady guys walk in and beeline to the pool table. Time to go. As we make our way back, Robert points out the gauntlet of police cars along this stretch of bodegas and cheap apartments. “Lot of drug activity out here,” he says. “Gotta be alert.” Robert fires up his Blazer to warm it up before turning in. He tells me I’m welcome to do the same if I keep my lights off. A cacophony of noises swirl around our vehicles: beaters with blown-out exhausts, SUVs with bass that rattles the zipper on my sleeping bag, busses unloading tired dishwashers returning from the city. I realize I’m privileged to have my shady spot in the Buckman neighborhood. I think about Robert: a guy who’s had bad luck, but never gives the impression he’s down and out. He has a job, a place to stay and a bartender who knows his name. After a month of vandwelling, I can’t say you need much else. Robert tells me to make sure I’m gone before 10 am so his boss doesn’t find out, and I thank him again. We both groan about having to go to work Monday—my first day at a new job—and he thanks me for the beer. As I’m getting situated, he shouts like a roommate down the hall. “Hey, man, I’ll leave the door to the bathroom unlocked for you. Just make sure you keep the lights off. The cops are everywhere up here.” VANIFEST DESTINY: Pete Cottell lives in a van and writes about it at wweek.com.

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Willamette Week JULY 3 wweek.com

MUSIC

THURSDAY-FRIDAY PROFILE

= WW Pick. Highly recommended.

M AT T A DA M I K P H OTO G R A P H Y

Prices listed are sometimes for advance ticket sales. At-the-door increases and socalled convenience charges may apply. Event lineups are subject to change after WW’s press deadlines. Editor: MATTHEW SINGER. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, go to wweek.com/ submitevents and follow submission directions. All shows should be submitted two weeks or more in advance of event. Press kits, CDs and especially vinyl can be sent to Music Desk, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Please include show or release date information with all physical mailings. Email: msinger@wweek.com. Fax: 243-1115.

WEDNESDAY, JULY 3 Thanks, Rio Grands, DJ Cooky Parker

[INDIE’S GOT SOUL] The injection of pure, uncut soul music into indie rock has been the one thing that has revived that genre’s graying body of late, and you can hear it in the the growling R&B attack of Thanks. This Portland sextet is blessed with a vocalist—named Jimi Hendrix on the band’s Facebook page—who manages to find that scratchy middle ground twixt the worlds of Fiona Apple and Sharon Jones. She’s abetted by a group that settles quickly into a bassheavy groove, kicking at the underbrush with shoegazer guitar swells and some extra low end provided by the band’s cellist. Thanks’ six-song debut, Silver Scars Will Be Our Constellations, self-released last year, carries a little more ’70s Stax-era fuzz and grit, and gives away the influence of glassy ‘00s New Wave-dipped rock. It’s a tidy little package of musical moods, and holds plenty of hope for the future of this young outfit. Rio Grands, the new incarnation of the group formerly known as Rocky and the Proms, opens this show with a set of breezy loungesoul jams. ROBERT HAM. Dig a Pony, 736 SE Grand Ave., (971) 279-4409. 9 pm. Free. 21+.

Onuinu, Wampire, Magic Fades, DJ Zack

NEW LINE PRODUCTIONS

[DISCO ON THE DOWN LOW] Easily one the best and catchiest Portland records of 2012, Onuinu’s Mirror Gazer remains a sizzling, summery collection of stoned disco. Dorian Duvall has become the local house-party standard, combining lounge, R&B, house, pop and experimental electronica into a vibrant, hip-loosening mosaic. It’s wee-hours, warm-weather music that tends to end in hangovers, but the means more than justify the ends. Catch him before he heads north for Seattle’s Capitol Hill Block Party. Portland pop masters Wampire coheadline. MARK STOCK. Holocene, 1001

SE Morrison St., 239-7639. 8:30 pm. $8 advance, $10 day of show. 21+.

THURSDAY, JULY 4 Brainstorm, Gothic Tropic, Minden, DJ Freaky Outty, Nathan Detroit

[POLYRHYTHMS BABY] Nothing quite says “America” like stuttering African guitar, blurting tuba, math-rock-y percussion and vocal chant-alongs that fall somewhere between Devo and art-rock contemporaries like Django Django. The trio’s sophomore effort, Heat Waves, rummages deeper in the experimental rift than its 2009 debut, yet it’s just groove-heavy and claptastic. Drummer Adam Baz, guitarist Patrick Phillips and bassist Dasha Shleyeva have recently begun to slough off the pop sensibilities, keying in on the shimmery nuances and hazy undertones that are paving the way for a new kind of Afro-pop in Portland— and not the “Oxford Comma” kind. BRANDON WIDDER. Dig a Pony, 736 SE Grand Ave., (971) 279-4409. 7 pm. Free. 21+.

4th of July Block Party: Danava, Long Knife, Gaytheist, Paradise, the Suicide Notes, Diesto, Bison Bison, the Cry, White Murder, Guantanamo Baywatch, Youthbitch, the No Tomorrow Boys

[RED, WHITE AND BRUISED] What better way to spend the Fourth of July than whiplashing your brain against the inside of your own skull and playfully elbowing your fellow patriots in the ribs? This punk-metal holiday party brings together some of Portland’s loudest bands, presumably in hopes of drowning out any other explosions happening in the general vicinity. At 11 pm, after retrograde ‘70s metallurgists Danava close down the outside stage, the celebration moves inside for a “Beach Party,” appropriately headlined

TOP FIVE

CONT. on page 34

BY GO LLU M

TOP FIVE LED ZEPPELIN SONGS “Bron-Y-Aur Stomp” Oh yes, we likes the way Bonzo plays with spoons. They make much more sense in music than for eating nasty taters. Strider? Stupid Aragorn. “Stairway to Heaven” Oh yes, we loves glitters and gold and precious. And Smeagol totally made out to it during his prom. “The Battle of Evermore” Ringwraiths! Yes, yes. They leads us to the precious. And they kill stupid hobbitses. “Misty Mountain Hop” Oh yes, inside is the Balrog. Yes. He killed the gray wizard! “Ramble On” Smeagol is flattered they talks about us in the song, but he still can’t figure out who the evil one is he talks about. SEE IT: Robert Plant and the Sensational Space Shifters play Waterfront Blues Festival at Gov. Tom McCall Waterfront Park, Southwest Naito Parkway between Harrison and Glisan streets, with Mavis Staples, Taj Mahal Trio, Robert Randolph and the Family Band and more, on Sunday, July 7. Festival starts at 10:30 am. See waterfrontbluesfest.com for pass information and complete schedule.

Big Box TK

NASHVILLE SOUL COOPER WAS BORN A BARGE-LOADER’S DAUGHTER. NOW SHE’S SHARING A STAGE WITH ROCK ROYALTY. BY MATTHEW SIN GER

msinger@wweek.com

If Nichole Lynn Cooper runs into Robert Plant backstage at the Waterfront Blues Festival, she has one hell of an icebreaker. Just before leaving Portland to attempt making it in Nashville, the then-25-year-old aspiring soul-blues singer had her wisdom teeth taken out. Halfway to Tennessee, her face suddenly swelled up. A dentist in her new hometown told her she needed surgery to remove leftover bone fragments from her mouth. The procedure would cost $2,500 with full anesthesia, $300 with only a local anesthetic. Her insurance had lapsed, and she’d already dropped nearly all her savings just making it out there. She went through the operation with a shot to numb her face and Led Zeppelin blaring through her headphones. “That’s a real sexy conversation to have with Robert Plant,” laughs Cooper, 28, over the phone. “Hey, buddy, thanks for the anesthesia when my face was all busted open from a nasty infection.” Well, if that doesn’t work, she can always tell Plant the story of how she wound up standing in front of him. A small-town girl with visions of stardom dancing in her head, Cooper spent her childhood tending cows on her family’s farm and her teenage years competing in beauty pageants. She moved to Portland for college, worked doing burlesque and bartending at a strip club, then, after graduation, quit her job, drove to Nashville in a VW bus, slept on an air mattress in a run-down apartment, and eventually convinced a producer to let her record a few songs in his Music Row studio. Now, she’s returning to Portland with an album of Dusty in Memphis-style Southern soul heartbreakers, and performing at one of the city’s biggest summer music festivals, warming up the main stage for Mavis Staples and her favorite male singer of all-time. It’s the stuff Journey songs and American Idol audition tapes are made of. But at a time when musical careers are often made in front of a laptop, Cooper’s bio reads less like a cliché than

a throwback to old-fashioned, grind-it-out moxie. Growing up in tiny Bridge, Ore., with a stayat-home mother and a father who worked loading barges, Cooper was raised on classic-rock radio and her grandmother’s George Jones and Patsy Cline records. Unsurprisingly, her favorite movie was Coal Miner’s Daughter, and for a while, she wanted to be Loretta Lynn. Then she heard Janis Joplin. “When I found out you could emote like that, that you could use your voice as a tool to let out all your emotions, I got hooked,” Cooper says. In a town of 300 people, though, the only opportunities to perform, aside from county-fair talent shows, were at pageants. A former Miss Multnomah County, Cooper, with her round, soft face and magma-flow of curly red locks, looks the part of a beauty queen, but she insists she did pageants out of necessity, and that she was never comfortable in her own skin until she discovered burlesque. While attending Portland State University, she got a weekly gig at Dante’s Sinferno Cabaret, developing an act that allowed her to hone her honey-andwhiskey voice. The byproduct, she says, was the liberation of her self-esteem. Although she appears on the cover of her debut album, Motown Suite, in a tight black dress, fondling a .45, it’s not about using her looks to jump-start a fan base: Her physicality is tied to the music itself. “I believe all of my songs are about empowerment, about owning your emotions and about self discovery,” she says. “The performances, videos, photographs and all other art forms I create reflect that sentiment as well.” That confidence helped Cooper make the push to Nashville—one fried van engine and a $4,000 rental-car bill later—and compete with all the other “little red-haired girls from tiny towns” following the same muse. She now has two bands, in Nashville and Portland, and a record she’s proud of. And, after six years of trying, she finally got on the Waterfront Blues Festival lineup. A few days away from the show, reality is sinking in: She’s opening for Robert fucking Plant. “I’m scared as hell,” she admits. “And I’m really good at amping up the pressure: I decided a couple weeks ago we should do a Led Zeppelin cover. A really stupid idea, but I’m married to it now.” SEE IT: Cooper plays the Waterfront Blues Festival, waterfrontbluesfest.com, on Sunday, July 7. See Top 5. She also plays Jimmy Mak’s, 221 NW 10th Ave., on Monday, July 8. 8 pm. $10. 21+. Willamette Week JULY 3, 2013 wweek.com

THURSDAY-FRIDAY

by surf-punk mutants Guantanamo Baywatch. Sorry, but this totally beats your uncle’s Waterfront Blues Fest boat party. MATTHEW SINGER. East End, 203 SE Grand Ave., 2320056. 4 pm. $5. 21+.

PROFILE JAMES REXROAD

MUSIC

Waterfront Blues Festival: MarchFourth Marching Band, Karen Lovely, Soul Vaccination and Chester Thompson, DK Stewart Sextet, Huckle, Hank Shreve, Transcendental Brass Band

[RED, WHITE AND BLUES] Sure, the first night of the Waterfront Blues Festival appears to be the least stacked of the festival’s four days—but really, that’s only because the other dates’ headliners include Eric Burdon, John Hiatt, Mavis Staples and Robert friggin’ Plant. This opening celebration is more locally oriented, bookended by ace Portland second-liner the Transcendental Brass Band (which actually opens the main stage all four days) and the venerable MarchFourth Marching Band, and featuring newly minted Oregon Music Hall of Famer DK Stewart. But if you ask me—and several million other Bud Lite-drinking, hot doggrilling, jet boat-riding red-blooded Americans—there ain’t no better headliner than a fireworks show. Let’s see a pumpkin-headed Brit try and top that pyro! MATTHEW SINGER. Gov. Tom McCall Waterfront Park, Southwest Naito Parkway between Harrison and Glisan streets. 10:30 am. $10 suggested donation. All ages.

Sistafist, Magic Mouth, IBQT, the Slydells

[GET-LOOSE WOMEN] The three young ladies of Sistafist represent everything certain people find wrong with this country. Their taste for libations exceeds what is to be expected of brides-to-be by approximately 30 ounces of hard alcohol. Their style of dress looks as if it were designed to attract sordid eyes accustomed to the gaudy neon of a less moralistic motherland’s redlight districts. The same mouths that spout off their yonic profanities kiss their mothers—and probably their bastard children! And worst of all is how they behave, or should I say misbehave. The trio actually seems to be enjoying themselves and being called out for what they are. You can find this author, a bastion of morality, at Sistafist’s next show, indulging their petty, masochistic desires by screaming, “Bad bitches!” Pardon my French. MITCH LILLIE. White Owl Social Club, 1305 SE 8th Ave., 2369672. 4 pm. Free. 21+.

FRIDAY, JULY 5 Power of County, Bison Bison, Trask River Redemption

[COUNTRY] Unbridled by the ironic hipsterism that so pervades the Northwest’s alt-country scene, Portland quartet Power of County stands out precisely because it isn’t “alt-country” so much as it is pure country, and not in that mainstream, George Strait sense. Guitars riffing, fiddle screeching and vocals yowling, the band harks back to the days of true outlaws, bringing forth a rowdy-ass sound that simply demands drinking on the dance floor. As a result, PoC has spent the better part of the decade flying in the face of the new country movement, sticking to its guns and roots with a middle finger proudly raised. Tonight, the band celebrates the release of its self-titled fourth album. AP KRYZA. Dante’s, 350 W Burnside St., 226-6630. 9 pm. $5. 21+.

Demon Lung, Wounded Giant

[OCCULT DOOM] On the surface, Las Vegas seems like the last place that would raise an occult-themed doom-metal act. But if you’ve ever seen Casino or Showgirls, you know hell on earth is in the Nevada desert. Demon Lung’s debut album, The Hundredth Name, is a perfect

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Willamette Week JULY 3, 2013 wweek.com

LORD DYING TUESDAY, JULY 9 Getting heavy (among other things) with Portland’s new metal kings.

[METAL] The members of Lord Dying look exhausted. Which is entirely understandable, considering it’s 10 pm, and most of them just finished long work days. Sitting around a table at the B-Side Tavern, dressed in the doom-metal uniform of T-shirts, jeans and shoulder-length hair, the only things keeping the band awake are the tall boys of cheap beer and glasses of whiskey. Adding to its fatigue are all the details a rising heavy-rock band has to deal with: hanging posters for its upcoming album-release show, finding a location for a video shoot and, of course, carving out time to give an interview to a medical-marijuana magazine. “I told them I didn’t think really sick people should have any drugs, let alone pot,” jokes bassist Don Capuano, sending his bandmates into peals of laughter. Yes, Lord Dying enjoys a bit of chemical enhancement every now and again. But you don’t need us to tell you that. Just listen to the quartet’s upcoming debut full-length, Summon the Faithless. No matter how speedy these eight tracks get, a river of black muck runs through their core. The slow, overdriven bassline that anchors “Water Under a Burning Bridge” and the Godzilla stomp of “Perverse Osmosis” are byproducts of the band’s many stonerand sludge-rock influences. But Summon rages as well. It comes out most boldly through singer-guitarist Erik Olson, who possesses one of the most earthshaking baritones in modern metal, but it tears through everything the band does on record or onstage. Hell, rage is why these four got into the metal business in the first place. “It’s the rebellious attitude,” Olson says. “The release that it offers. The ‘fuck you, society’ part of it.” Adds drummer John Reid: “The aggression that comes out if you’re playing metal can help keep you out of trouble. I take a lot of my workday out on my kit. Leads to a lot of cracked cymbals.” Having that outlet has kept all four playing heavy rock since their teens even when, in the case of Olson and guitarist Chris Evans, it meant being outcasts in their hometown of Salt Lake City. “It was hard,” Olson says. “There weren’t really any record stores to go to, so we missed out on so much.” Now safely ensconced within Portland’s abundant metal community, Olson and Evans have thrived. They started Lord Dying in 2010, playing their first show at a Fourth of July party at the request of Red Fang (“we owe those guys so much,” Olson says), and quickly ignited a buzz within the local scene. Many tours followed, including a string of dates with Pantera singer Phil Anselmo’s Down, and last year, Lord Dying was snapped up by Relapse Records, home to acclaimed national acts such as Coalesce and Baroness. “We realize that it’s faster than it happens for a lot of bands,” Capuano says. “But it seems to be going at a good pace.” Olson agrees. “We’ve been real lucky, man,” he says, holding a can of Hamm’s. “But we’re thirsty, you know?” ROBERT HAM.

SEE IT: Lord Dying plays White Owl Social Club, 1305 SE 8th Ave., with Norska, on Tuesday, July 9. 9 pm. $5. 21+.

Willamette Week JULY 3 wweek.com

FRIDAY-SATURDAY

example of a very ambitious young band being given a big opportunity. Candlelight Records footed the bill, and Billy Anderson produced, resulting in a huge sound. Fronted by husky-voiced Shanda Fredrick, the band nods toward the obvious (Candlemass) but does itself a service by also referencing other strains of extreme metal, especially the slower riff stylings of Morbid Angel. Demon Lung throws the kitchen sink into a massive album that will only be improved upon as the band matures and finds its own unique voice. NATHAN CARSON. Red Room, 2530 NE 82nd Ave., 2563399. 8 pm. Call venue for ticket information. 21+.

Waterfront Blues Festival: Eric Burdon and the Animals, Allen Stone, Worth, Eldridge Gravy and the Court Supreme, Sandy Thom, Rae Gordon [THOUGHT-PROVOKING SOUL] Allen Stone is an outlier not just on the Blues Festival lineup, but within his own genre. Modern R&B is characterized by some as being little more than a bunch of smooth grooves aided by singers going on about partying in the club, drinking Cristal or trying to seduce someone into bed. But Stone is trying to blow that view out of the water. His potent mix of socially conscious soul and R&B augments the traditional romantic themes found in these genres, and makes them more well-rounded. Tinges of rock and gospel make their way into his songs as well, and Stone’s vocals— subtle and subdued one moment, powerful and impassioned the next—make him seem much older than his 26 years. BRIAN PALMER. Gov. Tom McCall Waterfront Park, Southwest Naito Parkway between Harrison and Glisan streets. 10:30 am. $10 suggested donation. All ages.

Allen, making it all the more impressive that his freakouts and bloodletting can turn into such a smart, listenable product. Sure, your local record store may file the 2007 double LP In Defense of the Genre as “Hot Topic-core,” but writing Bemis and co. off as navel-gazing tween rock before listening to gems “Wow, I Get Sexual Too” and “Admit It!!!” is a serious mistake. PETE COTTELL. Hawthorne Theatre, 1507 SE 39th Ave., 233-7100. 7:30 pm. $17 advance, $20 day of show. All ages.

Joshua Powell and the Great Train Robbery

[FEARSOME FOLK] Heartland trio Joshua Powell and company is a storming folk-rock outfit bred for the tavern. Like a backwoods version of pop-country duo Civil Wars, JP and friends offer intimate Americana with the force of a tornado. Newest record Man Is Born for Trouble alternates between serene, porch-set acoustic duets and marching, folk-infused anthems that beg for a round of well whiskey. Careful picking and vintage Appalachian instrumentation keep the Great Train Robbery full in sound and authentic in nature. MARK STOCK. Mock Crest Tavern, 3435 N Lombard St., 283-5014. 9 pm. Call venue for ticket information. 21+.

Crypts, Bruxa, Youryoungbody, DJ Rxchwxch

[DARK DANCE] If you’re someone who likes a band like Liars but needs a little consistency in your music, Seattle’s Crypts is probably right up your alley. Last fall’s selftitled album borrows everything from Liars’ dark, danceable library, including heavily reverbed vocals that alternate between screaming and brooding. We’re pretty sure the album includes samples of mascara-filled tears falling into a warm PBR, distorted to sound like a sawmill fueled by reckless misery and operated by poltergeists. The energy only increases as the album progresses, beginning with jittery opener “Completely Fucked” but cooling off a little just before “Sleazy,” the album’s disjointed, delay-leaden closer. MITCH LILLIE. Rotture, 315 SE 3rd Ave., 234-5683. 9 pm. $6. 21+.

Waterfront Blues Festival: John Hiatt and the Combo, North Mississippi Allstars, Duffy Bishop Band, David Vest, Mitch Kashmar, Terry Robb and Calvin Walker, Transcendental Brass Band [THE BLUES AND THE GRAY AREA] One of those universally beloved, inexplicably thriving civic traditions borne upon sheer momentum, this weekend’s daft grandeur really does appear to serve a higher purpose: It’s as if the Forest Service depended on six-figure atten-

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FLASHBACK CO U R T E SY O F B AC K S PAC E

MUSIC

SATURDAY, JULY 6 Ephemeros, Hail, Shadow of the Torturer, Druden

[FUNERAL DOOM] Each passing year, the limits of metal get pushed outward. Grind bands get faster, doom bands get slooooooower. Enter Ephemeros, a local group of funereal death doomsters who have collectively worked with other luminary acts from Portland’s underbelly, such as Elitist, Nux Vomica and Graves at Sea. Together with a few other acolytes of downtrodden vibes, the band has created a masterful debut album. Tonight, we celebrate the release of the nearly 40 minutes of death doom contained on All Hail Corrosion. Keep it local, keep it heavy. NATHAN CARSON. Branx, 320 SE 2nd Ave., 234-5683. 8 pm. $6. 21+.

Bob Log III

[ONE-MAN MAYHEM] By their very nature, one-man bands are a strange prospect, but not even the gnarliest sideshow can hold a candle to Tuscon’s Bob Log III, a man who simultaneously plays drums and guitar while singing into a mic built into his face-obscuring motorcycle helmet like a garagesale Daft Punk. For nearly a decade, Log’s toured on this shtick, ramping up audience participation by presenting his show as a party and encouraging women to dip their breasts into his drinks as he goes. Stranger still, the music’s actually pretty intriguing, if infantile: a wily concoction of punk and blues sprinkled with dick jokes hammered out amid a bizarre spectacle, as if Ween had a secret member they kicked out for being too goddamned weird. AP KRYZA. Dante’s, 350 W Burnside St., 226-6630. 9 pm. $13. 21+.

Say Anything, Eisley, HRVRD, I the Mighty

[EMO POP PUNK] Snarky meta-fiction has largely been absent from pop punk in the past decade, and it’s a damn shame. Max Bemis fronts Say Anything like an emo Woody

Willamette Week JULY 3, 2013 wweek.com

For its first four years, Backspace was just a tiny Old Town coffee shop frequented primarily by Internet gamers. Then, in November 2007, the Thermals asked to play a free show there. We asked owner Eric Robison how the concert that turned the small cafe into a pillar of Portland’s all-ages music community came together. “We had built Someday Lounge and wanted it to be all-ages, but the OLCC would never approve it. My brother and one of my former general managers, this guy Drew Woods, made the suggestion of, ‘Well, Backspace is big enough. Why don’t we put a little, tiny stage and do the occasional acoustic show, something little?’ So we did that and did a couple acoustic shows, nothing significant. And then [Thermals singer-guitarist] Hutch [Harris] called and was like, ‘Hey, how would you like to do a free show here?’ We rented a decent sound system for them, had this tiny, little mixing board, and we somehow made it work. All the pieces came together last minute. Then all these people came in. My thighs were sore for about a week afterward from standing on the front of the stage, holding the crowd back. Right after that show, our email blew up. We had to hire someone to be a booker, because a bunch of people in bands saw the Thermals and wanted to do shows here. We were going to just do weekends, and it just built. Now we do five nights per week. Next time I saw Hutch, I told him, ‘Y’know, this is all your fault. Now I’m here every night doing this. Half of me wants to thank you, the other half—especially my wife—wants to beat you up.’” —Eric Robison, Backspace owner. SEE IT: Backspace’s 10th anniversary show, featuring Tiananmen Bear, Woodwinds, Fair Weather Watchers and more, is at Backspace, 115 NW 5th Ave., on Wednesday, July 3. 8 pm. $5. All ages.

Music

CALENDAR

ces

Upcoming In-Store Performan SANDI THOM

SATURDAY 7/6 @ 3 PM

Sandi feels that Flesh and Blood is her coming of age album. “All I ever want to do is write songs that connect with people,” says Sandi. “With this album I’ve finally found a place where I can make the very best music I can achieve. The people that only know me from Punk Rocker won’t recognize me on this album. But they are going to find out another side of me.”

BLUE CRANES

FRIDAY 7/12 @ 6 PM

Blue Cranes are a key player in the Portland, Ore. creative music and DIY scene. They are a microcosm of what post-jazz has become at the regional level as a result of bands like The Bad Plus, The Claudia Quintet, Happy Apple, Dave Douglas and others.

CLARENCE BUCARO MONDAY 7/15 @ 6 PM

With over six albums the prolific, honey-voiced Brooklyn singer-songwriter Clarence Bucaro has crafted an impressive canon of uplifting Americana, garnering comparisons to Jackson Browne and Van Morrison.

CAROLYN WONDERLAND TUESDAY 7/16 @ 6 PM

A musical force equipped with the soulful vocals of Janis and the guitar slinging skills of Stevie Ray, Carolyn Wonderland reaches into the depths of the Texas blues tradition with the wit of a poet. She hits the stage with unmatched presence, a true legend in her time.

PAGE 42 Willamette Week JULY 3 wweek.com

Hot Blues and Rock EVERY Friday! Free Pool Sunday and Monday! Wednesday July 3 Proper Movement Drum & Bass 10pm • free Thursday July 4 $5 Margaritas all day long! Friday July 5 The New Iberians Louisiana Zydeco. 9pm • $5 Saturday July 6 Sinister DJs; Goth Industrial Electronic Fusion 9pm • free

Sunday July 7 Club Love 9pm • free Monday July 8: GutterFlix: Cult Exploitation ﬁlms. 6pm • free Tuesday July 9 Lecture Double-header! Doors at 5pm. History of Madness in Oregon with Zeb Larsen. 6:30 • free Author Eli Hastings, Using Writing to Heal. 7:30 • free

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Australian guitar virtuoso Albare fronts a tight combo of dynamic jazz players from Australia, Cuba, and Venezuela!

UK-born Passenger’s new album debuted on the Billboard Heatseekers Chart in its first week and has remained on the chart for 31 consecutive weeks. The limited, 2-CD deluxe edition includes a bonus disc with special acoustic versions.

DELBERT MCCLINTON & GLEN CLARK BLIND CRIPPLED & CRAZY

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Grammy Award winner and Americana legend, Delbert McClinton returns to where he began his recording career over 40 years ago, a duet record with Glen Clark. Produced by Gary Nicholson, the 2013 album delivers all the swampy blues, soul and honky tonk sounds, with lyrics and harmonies full of wisdom and wit.

Filmed during his 2012 tour, Jackson Browne’s live in concert DVD, I’ll Do Anything, includes 16 songs culled from his entire body of work.

STEVE EARLE AND THE DUKES & DUCHESSES THE LOW HIGHWAY

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This is the 15th album from the Americana/ Alt-Country singer/songwriter. Between the opening title track and the reflective closing of “Remember Me,” The Low Highway is very much Steve Earle’s road record, and one that has seen many miles.

SASHA DOBSON

ROSE WINDOWS

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AQUARIUS

Previously revered as an A-list jazz chanteuse, Dobson has completed a transformation from the smoky ballads of her past to emerge a fully-realized modern singer/ songwriter with a raw, visceral sound all her own.

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EDDIE SPAGHETTI VALUE OF NOTHING ON SALE $11.99 CD ALSO AVAILABLE ON LP

Eddie Spaghetti, front man for those Seattlebased pleasure barons of arena garage punk, The Supersuckers, kicks out his first solo album. Value of Nothing distills everything he’s learned in his career-long, over-the-top, and tongue-incheek adoration of all things rock ‘n’ roll into a genre-scoffing dose of snarling country rock, full of pop hooks and wise-guy humor; all delivered with a brain, a heart, and a beer.

SUN DOGS

Rose Windows began in late 2010 in Seattle. On their debut album, The Sun Dogs, the band incorporates elements of The Band, The Doors’ organ-driven psychedelia, and Black Sabbath’s dirges, along with Persian, Indian, and Eastern European music.

PORTLANDIA SEASON 3

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IFC’s Emmy-nominated and Peabody Award-winning hit series starring Fred Armisen and Carrie Brownstein returns for a third season with all new episodes.

MUSIC

SATURDAY-TUESDAY

dance for a Thanksgiving doo-wop showcase. But, as the Waterfront Blues Festival grows more popular with each passing year and the blues markedly less so, choice of headliner becomes rather tricky. John Hiatt, though eminently talented with admirable work ethic and impressive back catalog, would generally be considered among the Americana corral. His vocals may brim with authenticity, but the songs themselves pluck richly detailed narratives above emptily anthemic adult contemporary. Hiatt’s fictional protagonists tend to be drawn from life’s losers bracket, fair enough, but, if that’s the chief attraction moving $1,000 passes, event organizers might want to see what Mötley Crüe is doing next Fourth of July. JAY HORTON. Gov. Tom McCall

Waterfront Park, Southwest Naito Parkway between Harrison and Glisan streets. 10:30 am. $10 suggested donation. All ages.

TUESDAY, JULY 9 John Mayall, Lipbone Redding

[TALENT SCOUT] English bluesman John Mayall probably spent the late ’60s feeling pretty bummed out. Eric Clapton left Mayall’s band, the Bluesbreakers, to form Cream in 1966. Then his next guitarist, Peter Green, quit to form Fleetwood Mac. Two years later, his third guitarist abandoned the project to join the Rolling Stones. The decades and 50 albums since, however, have proven Mayall,

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ALBUM REVIEWS

WILD ONES KEEP IT SAFE (PARTY DAMAGE) [ELECTRO DREAM POP] There’s nothing all that wild about Wild Ones. If you’re looking for truth in advertising, Keep It Safe, the title of the quartet’s debut album, is a better indicator of what to expect from the 3-yearold group’s romantic, richly detailed electroacoustic pop. This is music born of careful consideration, not freeform abandon. Golden-glow synths flutter with crystalline grace around subtly employed guitars and light dance beats, like Beach House shaken out of its love-buzzed haze. It’s starry-eyed, swollen-hearted and totally controlled. But keeping it safe should not be confused with playing it safe, particularly where singer Danielle Sullivan is concerned. On a record that could’ve gotten by on harmonies and instrumental warmth alone, Sullivan lays herself bare, and her voice—equal parts country twang and faux-Irish brogue—makes earworms like “Golden Twin” and “Curse Over Me” sting with melancholy. Hers is a wondrous instrument, though not a particularly dynamic one, and there are moments where the airtight playing nearly suffocates her. Keep It Safe is an emotive, evocative effort, but a band called Wild Ones could probably stand to let loose more often. MATTHEW SINGER. SEE IT: Wild Ones play Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., with My Body and Genders, on Friday, July 5. 9 pm. $5. 21+.

TOPE TROUBLE MAN (SELF-RELEASED) [HIP-HOP] At age 27, Portland MC Tope has become an old hand in the local hip-hop scene. His career stretches back almost a decade, but this year, he seems to be hitting his stride. His new EP, Trouble Man, is a heartfelt snapshot of where he’s at now, musically and emotionally. Lyrically, the record is steeped in nostalgia. Tope has always been somewhat of a romantic, crafting love songs that walk the line between sincerity and smooth talk. He spits pick-up lines at girls in coffee shops on “Church Girls” and bickers with his girlfriend for smoking his weed on “Stuck.” Elsewhere, he takes a more serious tone, addressing the death of his grandfather and his rocky relationship with his father on “About You” and “Birthday Song,” respectively. His personal insights are brief and to the point, but they’re refreshing on an album that is mostly devoted to life’s good times. But the most captivating aspect of Trouble Man is the production. Tope really has come into his own as a beatmaker, chopping samples so they coo and hum at just the right moments. “Start” blends chopped guitar lines, sped-up vocals and splashy drums to create a breezy tune built for the sound system of a vintage car. He gets smoother on “Take Your Time,” which samples Erykah Badu and features live instrumentation from trumpeter Farnell Newton. He even wanders into pop territory, turning Cheryl Lynn’s “Got to Be Real” into a party jam on “Family Affair.” Trouble Man is a display of Tope’s versatility, not just behind the mic, but behind the boards as well. REED JACKSON. HEAR IT: Trouble Man is out Tuesday, July 9, at freshselects.net.

Willamette Week JULY 3, 2013 wweek.com

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MUSIC

SURF AND TURF: Guantanamo Baywatch plays Doug Fir Lounge on Wednesday July 3, and East End on Thursday, July 4.

PERFORMANCE PAGE 44

79, will always find an excellent, rough-and-tumble outfit of veteran musicians to serve alongside him on tape and the road. His latest release, Tough, only features three Mayall-penned tracks, but it’s still an organ-steeped sonic landscape of steely electric guitar, driving bass and scuzzy harmonica, reminding us that mainstream success need not matter. BRANDON WIDDER. Alberta Rose Theatre, 3000 NE Alberta St., 7196055. 8 pm. $25 advance, $28 day of show. All ages.

Futurebirds, Diarrhea Planet

[PARTY PROG-METAL] Futurebirds are a psych-Americana act from Athens, Ga. That’s all you need to know about them, because that’s not why you’re reading this. You saw the words “Diarrhea Planet” and had some questions. Here’s what you need to know: The band is from Nashville, Tenn. It’s got the endorsement of Jack White’s label, Third Man. The members probably smoke copious amounts of marijuana with JEFF the Brotherhood. And sweet Jesus do they rawk. DP is known for raucous house shows that bring the arena playland inhabited by Gary Glitter and Andrew W.K. down to the basement, so expect a party if the die-hards show up. Also expect about a million and a half guitar solos, lots of hair and a pulverizing crowd pleaser called “Ghost With a Boner.” It’s loud, fast, corny—and worth every penny. PETE COTTELL. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., 231-9663. 9 pm. $10. 21+.

CLASSICAL, JAZZ & WORLD Chamber Music Northwest

[AMERICAN CONTEMPORARY CLASSICAL] For its Fourth of July concert, the annual summer festival appropriately focuses on some of the greatest living American composers, all of whom are still actively composing at age 75. They range from unrepentant modernist Charles Wuorinen to neo-romantic John Corigliano to eclectic Seattleborn, Michigan-based Pulitzer Prize winner William Bolcom. The shows on Saturday and Sunday feature the premiere of “The Territory,” which CMNW commissioned from one of Portland’s most renowned musicians, Oregon Jazz Hall of Fame pianist and PSU professor Darrell Grant. Drawing inspiration from natural phenomena (from the Missoula floods to volcanic eruptions), historical highs and lows (Chief Joseph’s surrender, Japanese internment camps) and other Oregon events and people, Grant’s nine-part musical evocation of Oregon’s history and landscape will be performed by some of the nation’s finest jazzers, including drummer Brian Blade and saxophonist Steve Wilson, along with local stars like Third Angle cellist Hamilton Cheifetz and singer Marilyn Keller. Sunday’s performance is at St. Mary’s Academy (1615 SW 5th Ave.). BRETT CAMPBELL. Kaul Auditorium at

Willamette Week JULY 3, 2013 wweek.com

Reed College, 3203 SE Woodstock Blvd. 8 pm Thursday and Saturday, July 4 and 6. 4 pm Sunday, July 7. $15-$50. All ages.

The Ocular Concern, Andy Clausen

[ELECTRIC JAZZ] Soon-to-depart Portland jazz pianist and composer Andrew Oliver’s electric-jazz quintet may have its visual worries, but its ear is working just fine. With groovy pop hooks and toe-tapping rhythms, the Ocular Concern makes unapologetically fun, concise and original jazz. Meanwhile, on its new album, The Wishbone Suite, former Seattle trombonist and composer and current Juilliard student Andy Clausen’s chamberjazz quintet reveals remarkable range, from gentle, pensive accordion-enhanced moments to rhythmically robust, clarinet-charged escapades. One of jazz’s most promising young compositional talents, Clausen has worked with Benny Golson, Wynton Marsalis (who’s performed Clausen’s music), Bill Frisell, Joe Lovano and other jazz greats. BRETT CAMPBELL. Backspace, 115 NW 5th Ave., 2482900. 8 pm Friday, July 5. $10. All ages.

Oregon Bach Festival

[MOSTLY BAROQUE] Based in Eugene since 1970, the annual month-long summer festival has been bringing some of its worldclass performers to Portland for the last few years. On Sunday, the nonpareil organist Paul Jacobs plays an all-J.S. Bach program on Trinity Cathedral’s great Rosales instrument. Monday’s choral concert features the festival’s youth choir academy singing Brahms, Britten, Bernstein and Belafonte (yes, that one). Tuesday’s Portland Baroque Orchestra concert has the hometown crew led by its music director, Monica Huggett, in two of Bach’s greatest hits: Brandenburg Concerto No. 5 (featuring harpsichordist Matthew Halls, who takes over as Bach Festival music director next year) and Orchestral Suite No. 3. BRETT CAMPBELL. Multiple venues. 5:30 pm Sunday-Monday, July 7-8 and 7:30 pm Tuesday, July 9. $10-$49. All ages.

Glenn Miller Orchestra

[VINTAGE SWING JAZZ] Of all the ensembles that came out of jazz’s big-band era, the Glenn Miller Orchestra is one of the few with an instantly recognizable sound. Signature songs like “In the Mood” and “Pennsylvania 6-5000” have such a brightness to them, as if they were bursting from the inside out with big brass section lines and jubilant positivity. Even Miller’s ballads felt like they were floating on air. This version of the Orchestra features no original members, but consists of solid players (including one Portlander) who perfectly capture the spirit and energy of these classic tunes. ROBERT HAM. Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, 1037 SW Broadway, 248-4335. 8 pm Monday, July 8. $47-$90. All ages.

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Willamette Week JULY 3, 2013 wweek.com

MUSIC CALENDAR Editor: Mitch Lillie. TO HAVE YOUR EVENT LISTED, send show information at least two weeks in advance on the web at wweek.com/submitevents or (if you book a specific venue) enter your events at dbmonkey. com/wweek. Press kits, CDs and especially vinyl can be sent to Music Desk, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Please include show or release date information with all physical mailings. Email: music@wweek.com. For more listings, check out wweek.com.

Al’s Den at the Crystal Hotel

303 SW 12th Ave. Steelhead Duo: Sloan Martin and Tate Peterson

Aladdin Theater

3017 SE Milwaukie Ave. Nicki Bluhm & The Gramblers, Stone Foxes

Ash Street Saloon

225 SW Ash St. Disenchanter, Die Like Gentlemen, DJ Nate C

Backspace

Suki’s Bar & Grill 2401 SW 4th Ave. Kent Smith

West Cafe

The Blue Monk

The Secret Society Ballroom

1305 SE 8th Ave. Sistafist, Magic Mouth, IBQT, the Slydells

116 NE Russell St. The Javier Nero Quartet

Vie de Boheme

1530 SE 7th Ave. Bohemian Blues: DJs Lynn Winkle & Mark Stauffer

White Owl Social Club

Afru Gallery

534 SE Oak St Dual Mode, Tre Slim, HAR-1, Neill Von Tally

Ash Street Saloon

Dante’s

Chapel Pub

115 NW 5th Ave. The Ocular Concern, Andy Clausen

Dante’s

722 E Burnside St. Fox Street All-Stars

350 W Burnside St. Jon Snodgrass, Brian Wahlstrom

Dig a Pony

736 SE Grand Ave. Thanks, Rio Grands, DJ Cooky Parker

Doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St. Guantanamo Baywatch, Jessica Hernandez & the Deltas

Holocene

1001 SE Morrison St. Onuinu, Wampire, Magic Fades, DJ Zack

Jade Lounge

2346 SE Ankeny St. Ryan Johnson

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave. The Mel Brown Quartet

Kelly’s Olympian

426 SW Washington St. Night Cadet, Fen Wik Ren, Ozarks

Kenton Club

2025 N Kilpatrick St. Estranged, The Freedom Club, Divers

Landmark Saloon

4847 SE Division St. Jake Ray, Bob Shoemaker

Laughing Horse Books 12 NE 10th Ave. Rumpshaker, Fuck You Dad!, Shrines

LaurelThirst

2958 NE Glisan St. The Raven and the Writing Desk, Burner Courage, the Resolectrics

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Acoustic Minds, Marv Ellis, Aaron Altemose

O’Malley’s

6535 SE Foster Road Pitchfork Motorway, the Vacillators, Thundering Asteroids

Red Room

2530 NE 82nd Ave. Abolishment Of Flesh, Fields of Elysium, Psychiatric Regurgitation

Revival Drum Shop

1465 NE Prescott St. Volcanic Pinnacles, Lavas Magmas

Shaker and Vine

2929 SE Powell Blvd. TMC Project

Slabtown

1033 NW 16th Ave. Communication of Thieves, Biocidio

225 SW Ash St. Right On John, Heartford Defiant 430 N Killingsworth St. Steve Kerin

225 SW Ash St. Green Jello, Headless Pez, NINJA, Bloodlust

Backspace

Bossanova Ballroom

350 W Burnside St. Tony Ozier and Doo Doo Funk

Bunk Bar

Dig a Pony

Camellia Lounge

736 SE Grand Ave. Brainstorm, Gothic Tropic, Minden, DJ Freaky Outty, Nathan Detroit

East End

203 SE Grand Ave. 4th of July Block Party: Danava, Long Knife, Gaytheist, Paradise, the Suicide Notes, Diesto, Bison Bison, the Cry, White Murder, Guantanamo Baywatch, Youthbitch, the No Tomorrow Boys

Gov. Tom McCall Waterfront Park

Southwest Naito Parkway between Harrison and Glisan streets Waterfront Blues Festival: MarchFourth Marching Band, Karen Lovely, Soul Vaccination and Chester Thompson, DK Stewart Sextet, Huckle, Hank Shreve, Transcendental Brass Band

Kaul Auditorium at Reed College

3203 SE Woodstock Blvd. Chamber Music Northwest

Kelly’s Olympian

426 SW Washington St. Machine, Big Bad Wolf, Myrrh Larsen

Kenton Club

2025 N Kilpatrick St. Copper Gamins, Scared Crow

O’Malley’s

6535 SE Foster Road The Chicken Thieves, Jaks Off, the Skate Drunks, Tomb of Ligeia

Slabtown

1033 NW 16th Ave. Kill The Bats

Slim’s Cocktail Bar

8635 N Lombard St. The Hill Dogs, Cunning Wolves

Star Bar

639 SE Morrison St. Mean Jeans, the Bugs

1028 SE Water Ave. Gentlemen Hall, NTNT 510 NW 11th Ave. Christopher Brown Quartet

Clyde’s Prime Rib

5474 NE Sandy Blvd. Cool Breeze

Dante’s

350 W Burnside St. Power of County, Bison Bison, Trask River Redemption

Doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St. All the Apparatus, Kithkin, the Horde and the Harem

East End

203 SE Grand Ave. Bubble Cats, Machine, The Vandies, The Modern Golem, Cement Season

Gov. Tom McCall Waterfront Park

Southwest Naito Parkway between Harrison and Glisan streets Waterfront Blues Festival: Eric Burdon and the Animals, Allen Stone, Worth, Eldridge Gravy and the Court Supreme, Sandy Thom, Rae Gordon

Jack London Bar 529 SW 4th Ave. New Iberians

Jade Lounge

2346 SE Ankeny St. The Ink Noise Review, Curtis B. Whitecarroll

Kelly’s Olympian

426 SW Washington St. Black Snake, Shut Your Animal Mouth, Black Beast Revival

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Wild Ones, My Body, Genders

Mock Crest Tavern 3435 N Lombard St. Suburban Slim

Noho’s Hawaiian Cafe 4627 NE Fremont St. Hawaiian Music

O’Malley’s

317 NW Broadway Karaoke from Hell

6535 SE Foster Road 13 Scars, Act Of Sabotage, Schroeder Bomb

Tonic Lounge

Original Halibut’s II

Tiger Bar

3100 NE Sandy Blvd. Black Hare

Willamette Week JULY 3, 2013 wweek.com

Plew’s Brews

1028 SE Water Ave. Jaill, Cosmonauts

2527 NE Alberta St. Lloyd Allen

5474 NE Sandy Blvd. Cool Breeze

8409 N Lombard St. Chris Juhlin and the Collective

Dante’s

Record Room

Doug Fir Lounge

8 NE Killingsworth St. Michael Hurley, Tiburon, Remetory

Red Room

FRI. JULY 5

115 NW 5th Ave. Tiananmen Bear, Woodwinds, Fair Weather Watchers, Miss Massive Snowflake, Eirean Bradley, Johnny No Bueno, Robyn Bateman

THURS. JULY 4

Bunk Bar

Clyde’s Prime Rib

1201 SW Jefferson St. Alan Jones Academy Jazz Jam

3341 SE Belmont St. Barlow Pass

320 SE 2nd Ave. Ephemeros, Hail, Shadow of the Torturer, Druden

350 W Burnside St. Bob Log III 830 E Burnside St. Bear & Moose, the Lower 48, Rin Tin Tiger, Summer Cannibals

2530 NE 82nd Ave. Demon Lung, Wounded Giant

Duff’s Garage

Rock Bottom Restaurant & Brewery

Eagle Portland

1635 SE 7th Ave. Oblivion Seekers

206 SW Morrison St. Andy Stokes

835 N Lombard St Maricón, DJ Moisti, DJ Ill Camino

Shaker and Vine

East End

2929 SE Powell Blvd. Quartette Barbette

Slim’s Cocktail Bar

8635 N Lombard St. Hair of the Patriotic Dog: The Anxieties, Thundering Asteroids, the karmaceuticals

Slim’s Cocktail Bar

8635 N Lombard St. Karmaceuticals, Thundering Asteroids, Anxieties

The Analog

720 SE Hawthorne Lo-Haw Country Fest: Brewer’s Grade, Pristine Blue, Britnee Kellogg

The Blue Diamond

2016 NE Sandy Blvd. Doug Rowell

The Blue Monk

203 SE Grand Ave. The Cry, No Tomorrow Boys, Zachary James, Alexandra & the Starlight Band

Goodfoot Lounge

2845 SE Stark St. The Quick and Easy Boys, Turkuaz

Gov. Tom McCall Waterfront Park

SW Naito Pkwy and SW Harrison St.Waterfront Blues Festival: John Hiatt and the Combo, North Mississippi Allstars, Duffy Bishop Band, David Vest, Mitch Kashmar, Terry Robb and Calvin Walker, Transcendental Brass Band

Hawthorne Theatre Lounge

The Firkin Tavern

1503 SE Cesar E. Chavez Blvd. Father’s Pocket Watch, Burning Lamps

The Know

1507 SE 39th Ave. Say Anything, Eisley, HRVRD, I the Mighty

3341 SE Belmont St. Daikaiju, King Ghidora 1937 SE 11th Ave. Mufasa, A Volcano, Coma Serfs 2026 NE Alberta St. Pyroklast, Panther, Reactor

The Secret Society Ballroom

116 NE Russell St. Davy Jay Sparrow and his Western Songbirds, Dominic Castillo

Tiger Bar

317 NW Broadway The Applicants, Polar Sleep, Matthew Heller & The Clever

Tonic Lounge

3100 NE Sandy Blvd. The Taste, Jokers Red Lipstick, Rebel Scum

Tony Starlight’s

3728 NE Sandy Blvd. 3 Leg Torso, Bill Marsh

Vie de Boheme

1530 SE 7th Ave. Johnny Credit and the Cash Machine

White Eagle Saloon

836 N Russell St. Brownchicken Browncow, Reverb Brothers

SAT. JULY 6 Ash Street Saloon 225 SW Ash St. The Longshots, the Revivers, Smash Bandits, the Debonaires

Hawthorne Theatre

720 SE Hawthorne Lo-Haw Country Fest: Dan Turner and Still Country, Daniel Turner Music YouTube Video Channel On Facebook

The Blue Diamond

2016 NE Sandy Blvd. Ladies Sing the Blues

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St. Sex Crime, White Murder, Piss Test, DJ Ken Dirtnap

The Lovecraft

421 SE Grand Ave. Thieves of the American Dream, DJ Miss Prid

The Secret Society Ballroom 116 NE Russell St. Anna Paul and the Bearded Lady

The TARDIS Room

1218 N Killingsworth St. Full Funkell Nerdity

The Whiskey Bar

31 NW 1st Ave. Habit Forming Sessions: Jamie Meushaw, Rubin Sarafinchan

Thorne Lounge

4260 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Amorous

Tiger Bar

317 NW Broadway Wizard Boots, Tornado Radio, Donkey Driver

Tonic Lounge

3100 NE Sandy Blvd. Royal Sloots

Townshend’s Alberta Street Teahouse 2223 NE Alberta St. Elias Foley, CyroGlyph, Kendall Station

1320 Main St., Oregon City Steve and Margot Show

SUN. JULY 7 Al’s Den at the Crystal Hotel

303 SW 12th Ave. Josh Hoke, Michael Shoup

Ash Street Saloon 225 SW Ash St. Seth Myzel, Twitch Silverback

Branx

320 SE 2nd Ave. Kinetik, Betrayed By Weakness, Simon Says Die, Casket of Cassandra, Kinetik, Ghost Town Grey

Doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St. The Lonesome Billies, Albatross

Duff’s Garage

1635 SE 7th Ave. Mighty Mojo Prophets

Gov. Tom McCall Waterfront Park

SW Naito Pkwy and SW Harrison St. Waterfront Blues Festival: Robert Plant and the Sensational Space Shifters, Mavis Staples, Linda Hornbuckle, Cooper, Selwyn Birchwood Band, Transcendental Brass Band

Hawthorne Theatre

1507 SE 39th Ave. Summer Throwdown: ZODIAC, Ion Storm, Disenchanter, Free By Night, Fruit of the Legion of Loom, Vicious Cycle, Cast Down, Unruly Instinct, Atriad, Southgate, Between Cities And Skies, Ultra Goat

Jade Lounge

2346 SE Ankeny St. The Dreadnoughts, Wadhams & Huston, Olivia Stone

Kelly’s Olympian

426 SW Washington St. Ghosties, Damn Librarians

Landmark Saloon

4847 SE Division St. Ian Miller

Laughing Horse Books 12 NE 10th Ave. Safe and Sound, Cold Sleep, Bad Decisions

LaurelThirst

2958 NE Glisan St. Kris Deelane and the Sharp Little Things, Freak Mountain Ramblers

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Chuck Mead, Grassy Knoll Boys, the Tumblers

Multiple venues

Oregon Bach Festival

Oregon Zoo

4001 SW Canyon Road The B-52s, The Go-Go’s

Peter’s Room

8 NW 6th Ave. Blackburner, Mystic Monsters

Red Room

2530 NE 82nd Ave. Eric Anarchy, Mr. Plow, Choke the Silence, Mentes Ajenas, Chronicles Of Bad Butch, Stepper, Super Desu, the Whiskey Dickers

Rontoms

600 E Burnside St. Reva Devito, Gothic Tropic

Slabtown

1033 NW 16th Ave. Stagefright

Slim’s Cocktail Bar 8635 N Lombard St. Suburban Slim

BAR SPOTLIGHT

2346 SE Ankeny St. The Golden Country, Kelsey Morris, Steve Lockwood

Katie O’Briens

2809 NE Sandy Blvd. Doomsower, Disenchanter, Mammoth Salmon

Kells Brewpub

210 NW 21st Ave. Sami Rouisi

Kenton Club

2025 N Kilpatrick St. Night Mechanic, Blesst Chest

Langano Lounge

1435 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Homunculust

LaurelThirst

2958 NE Glisan St. The Old Flames, Cedro Willie

Mississippi Pizza

3552 N Mississippi Ave. Professor Banjo

Mock Crest Tavern

3435 N Lombard St. Joshua Powell and the Great Train Robbery

Oregon Zoo

4001 SW Canyon Road Huey Lewis & the News

Record Room

8 NE Killingsworth St. Blind Pig

Biddy McGraw’s

206 SW Morrison St. David Brothers Band, Ben Rice Band

6000 NE Glisan St. Maca Rey, the Barkers

The Analog

Trail’s End Saloon

Jade Lounge

Backspace

115 NW 5th Ave. Jeffrey Lewis, Amenta Abioto, The Boy Who Lived, Jaimee Garbacik

Crypts, Bruxa, Youryoungbody, DJ Rxchwxch

MORGAN GREEN-HOPKINS

Branx

= WW Pick. Highly recommended.

WED. JULY 3

JULY 3-9

Rock Bottom Restaurant & Brewery

Rotture

315 SE 3rd Ave.

FREE COOKIES: Vancouver’s just-opened Asylum Lounge (606 Broadway St., Vancouver, 360-433-2205, theasylumlounge. com) wants to bring “chic” nightlife north of the border. In an effort to reupholster Vancouver’s reputation, the Asylum features faux-vintage floral wallpaper, a taxidermied goat and free sugar cookies with thick, white frosting. The recent grand opening was crowded. I waited a few minutes on a plastic “red carpet,” that looked more like a Slip ’n Slide. The bouncer described the scene inside as “bananas” and “hot.” Inside, everyone was welcome on the VIP porch, including a middle-aged woman in flair-bottomed jeans who happily danced to Justin Timberlake’s “SexyBack” as a projector blared an image of the solar system that recalled a stock screen-saver image. Asylum might not draw Portlanders north, but Vancouver’s nightlife, up to now the domain of Joe’s Crab Shack and dive bars serving Jäegermeister in test tubes, now has free cookies. JOE DONOVAN.

JULY 3-9

MUSIC CALENDAR D AV I D B U R K E

The Analog

720 SE Hawthorne Lo-Haw Country Fest: Chase, Anna Kaelin, Garrett Whitney, Travis Peterson

White Eagle Saloon 836 N Russell St. Small Souls, the Rugs, Robin Bacior

White Owl Social Club

1305 SE 8th Ave. The Polaroids, Lost Bombers

MON. JULY 8 Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall

1037 SW Broadway Glenn Miller Orchestra

Dante’s

350 W Burnside St. Karaoke From Hell

Director Park

815 SW Park Ave. Steve Skolnik Trio

DAFT PUNK IS PLAYING IN MY FACE: Bob Log III performing in Australia in 2012. He plays Dante’s on Saturday, July 6.

Doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St. Here Come Dots, Mister Loveless, Sucker for Lights

Duff’s Garage

1635 SE 7th Ave. Sharkskin Revue, Susie and the Sidecars

Goodfoot Lounge

2845 SE Stark St. Sonic Forum Open Mic Night

Jade Lounge

2346 SE Ankeny St. Jaime Leopold

The Melodic, Song Preservation Society, Josh & Mer

John Mayall, Lipbone Redding

Muddy Rudder Public House 8105 SE 7th Ave. Lauren Sheehan

115 NW 5th Ave. Malachi Graham, Danna Nieto, The Produce Department, Chris Rudolph

Record Room

Bunk Bar

8 NE Killingsworth St. Ashley Eriksson, Filardo, Lloyd and Michael, Stephen Steinbrink

Red and Black Cafe

221 NW 10th Ave. Cooper

400 SE 12th Ave. Sour Boy, Bitter Girl, a.m. Pleasure Assassins

Kells Brewpub

The Analog

Jimmy Mak’s

210 NW 21st Ave. Traditional Irish Jam Session

Langano Lounge

1435 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Hughes & Hanson

LaurelThirst

2958 NE Glisan St. Kung Pao Chickens, Portland Country Underground

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave.

720 SE Hawthorne Gothique Blend

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St. Self Inflicted, Contempt, Dodlage

White Eagle Saloon

836 N Russell St. Marca Luna, Chris Margolin

TUES. JULY 9 Alberta Rose Theatre 3000 NE Alberta St.

Backspace

1028 SE Water Ave. Tiburon, My Man

Doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St. Futurebirds, Diarrhea Planet

Duff’s Garage

1635 SE 7th Ave. Dover Weinberg Quartet

Hawthorne Theatre Lounge

1503 SE Cesar E. Chavez Blvd. Shadow Tag

Hawthorne Theatre Lounge

1503 SE Cesar E. Chavez Blvd. Ryan Shane Lopez, Jacob Westfall

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave. Jerry Moffit Trio

Brickbat Mansion

Trail’s End Saloon

1320 Main St., Oregon City Return Fight Polyester Dance Party

WED. JULY 3 Andrea’s Cha Cha Club 832 SE Grand Ave. Salsa: DJ Alberton

Berbati’s

231 SW Ankeny St. DJ Seleckta YT

Bossanova Ballroom 722 E Burnside St. Wednesday Swing

CC Slaughters

219 NW Davis St. Trick with DJ Robb

Star Bar

639 SE Morrison St. DJ Scary Jerry

The Firkin Tavern 1937 SE 11th Ave. Eye Candy VJs

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St. Dirtbag: Bruce LaBruiser

The Lovecraft

421 SE Grand Ave. Event Horizon: DJ Straylight, DJ Backlash

THURS. JULY 4 Berbati’s

231 SW Ankeny St. DJs Def Ro and Suga Shane

CC Slaughters

219 NW Davis St. Hip Hop Heaven with DJ Detroit Diezel

White Owl Social Club Trader Vic’s

1203 NW Glisan St. DJ Drew Groove

FRI. JULY 5

1305 SE 8th Ave. DJ Beyond A Doubt Outdoor Summer Soul Series

SAT. JULY 6

LaurelThirst

2958 NE Glisan St. Lyndsey Battle & Cory Goldman, Jackstraw

Mississippi Pizza

3552 N Mississippi Ave. McDougall

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Shannon McNally

Newmark Theatre

1111 SW Broadway New World: Metropolitan Youth Symphony

Pioneer Courthouse Square 701 SW 6th Ave. Moody Little Sister

Slabtown

1033 NW 16th Ave. Consumer, No Phone, Sun Hammer

Tonic Lounge

3100 NE Sandy Blvd. Pat Kearns, Robert Bruce Burnham

White Owl Social Club

1305 SE 8th Ave. Lord Dying, Norska

MON. JULY 8 Ash Street Saloon 225 SW Ash St. DJ Brux Blackhawk

Berbati’s

231 SW Ankeny St. DJ Henry Dark

CC Slaughters

219 NW Davis St. Maniac Monday with DJ Robb

Berbati’s

Music Millennium

CC Slaughters

Star Bar

Holocene

The Lovecraft

231 SW Ankeny St. Cloud City Collective

231 SW Ankeny St. DJ Mellow Cee

219 NW Davis St. Fetish Friday with DJ Jakob Jay

219 NW Davis St. Revolution with DJ Robb

Goodfoot Lounge

1001 SE Morrison St. Booty Bassment: Maxx Bass, Nathan Detroit, Ryan and Dimitri

2845 SE Stark St. DJ Magneto

Holocene

1001 SE Morrison St. Fresh X Body High: Jerome Lol, Samo Soundboy, DJ Funeral, Tyler Tastemaker

Langano Lounge

1435 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Woofy

Lola’s Room at the Crystal Ballroom 1332 W Burnside St. 80s Video Dance Attack

Rotture

315 SE 3rd Ave. Shutup&dance: DJ Gregarious, DJ Disorder

Star Bar

639 SE Morrison St. Uncontrollable Urge: DJ Paultimore

The Lovecraft

421 SE Grand Ave.

Spare Room

4830 NE 42nd Ave. DJ Drew Groove

SUN. JULY 7 Berbati’s

231 SW Ankeny St. DJ Linkus EDM

Dig a Pony

736 SE Grand Ave. DJ Freaky Outty, Nathan Detroit (R. Kelly tribute night)

Star Bar

639 SE Morrison St. DJ Baby Lemonade

Star Theater

13 NW 6th Ave. Church of Hive: DJ Backlash, DJ Skully, DJ Waisted

3158 E Burnside St. Spin Night: DJ Mikey MAC 639 SE Morrison St. Metal Monday: DJ Desecrator 421 SE Grand Ave. Departures: DJ Waisted, DJ Anais Ninja

TUES. JULY 9 Ash Street Saloon

225 SW Ash St. Phreak: Electronic Mutations

Berbati’s

231 SW Ankeny St. DJ Aurora

Bossanova Ballroom 722 E Burnside St. Tango Tuesday

CC Slaughters

219 NW Davis St. Girltopia with DJ Alicious

Eagle Portland

835 N Lombard St DMTV with DJ Danimal

Star Bar

639 SE Morrison St. DJ Austin Paradise

Willamette Week JULY 3, 2013 wweek.com

JULY 3–9

= WW Pick. Highly recommended. Most prices listed are for advance ticket sales. At-the-door increases and so-called convenience charges may apply, so it’s best to call ahead.

T R AV I S N O D U R F T

Editor: REBECCA JACOBSON. Theater: REBECCA JACOBSON (rjacobson @wweek.com). Dance: AARON SPENCER (dance@wweek.com). TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit information at least two weeks in advance to: rjacobson@wweek.com.

younger actors. Still, despite the mishmash of costumes and varied performances—on a recent evening, Bassanio stood silent for a good 15 seconds; I was unsure if he forgot his lines— this Merchant still manages to entertain, thanks to the energy of the cast. And unlike the June performances in downtown’s Terry Schrunk Plaza, which were interrupted by blaring hip-hop music and police sirens, most of July’s shows will thankfully be held in the much quieter Washington Park. RICHARD GRUNERT. Multiple locations, 467-6573. 7 pm Friday, July 5. 6 pm Saturday-Sunday, July 6-7. 7 pm Thursday-Saturday, July 11-13. 7 pm Thursday-Friday, July 18-19. 6 pm Saturday, July 20. See portlandactors. com for performance locations. Free.

a certain kind of adolescent.” The show is based on an Inuit myth about a young woman who is destroyed and resurrected by love. The troupe, Tempos, performs with a combination of acrobatics, dance and physical theater. Multnomah Arts Center , 7688 SW Capitol Highway, 823-2787. 7:30 pm Monday, July 8. $12-$15.

Trapeze Safari Tour

This hybrid circus-burlesque show has scantily clad women flying through the air with the greatest of tease. San Francisco’s Big Bass Burlectro-Swing party pitches its big top in Portland

with performers who look like modernday flappers. The neo-burlesque lineup includes Cleo Viper of Italy, Stilletta Maraschino of San Francisco, Mojo DeVille of New York and Portland’s own Miss Steak. DJs from Canada, San Francisco and Portland provide the bass-fueled, jazz-inspired soundtrack. Star Theater, 13 NW 6th Ave. 9 pm Saturday, July 6. $10. 21+.

For more Performance listings, visit

REVIEW C R A I G M I TC H E L L DY E R

PERFORMANCE

Romeo and Juliet

The Bard’s quintessential tragedy, presented with minimal rehearsal by Original Practice Shakespeare Festival. Director Park, 815 SW Park Ave., 8906944. 7 pm Friday, July 5. Free.

Til Death: The Six Wives of Henry VIII

HARVEY

THEATER A. Lincoln

On this weekend of red-blooded patriotism, Steve Holgate presents an original one-man show about Honest Abe, drawing from news stories, speeches and letters. HART Theatre, 185 SE Washington St., 693-7815. 7:30 pm Friday and 2 pm Saturday, July 5-6. $12.

Comedie of Errors

[NEW REVIEW] The Original Practice Shakespeare Festival takes a unique approach. Claiming to stage Shakespeare’s plays the way they were done in the Bard’s day, the company sets its shows outside, with minimal rehearsal, plentiful audience interaction and actors who switch roles for each performance. Shakespeare’s tale of two sets of twins and mistaken identities is a perfect fit for OPS Fest, and this adaptation flourishes as the actors improvise their way through bawdy humor and mix-ups. A recent Saturday performance incorporated bonus material solicited by a prompter, dressed like a referee, who sat at a table adjacent to the stage. Occasionally, she’d stop the play and ask a character to sing a love song, or to expound on “how he really feels,” or to improvise a dance. The actors are equally comfortable wielding swords as they are quoting Ghostbusters and The Princess Bride or confessing their love for specific audience members. For an unpracticed performance, the show is commendably clean and brief. But take note: Unless you want to be dragged into the action, don’t sit in front. JOE DONOVAN. Multiple locations, 890-6944. Various Saturdays and Sundays through Sept. 29; see opsfest.org for exact times and dates. Free.

The Complete Works of William Shakespeare [Abridged]

Post5 Theatre returns to the popular parody, which has three actors galloping through all 37 of the Bard’s plays in a brisk 90 minutes. Milepost 5, 850 NE 81st Ave., 262-853-9344. 7:30 pm Fridays-Sundays through Aug. 4. “Pay what you can.”

Crook County War

John Breen is one of Portland’s most reliable improv artists, and he’s chalked up several Conan appearances and movie credits. He’s about to start production on his debut feature film, a gangster comedy about drug cartels and gunrunning, but first he’s presenting a staged reading of the screenplay. Portland Playhouse, 602 NE Prescott St., 488-5822. 8 pm Friday-Saturday, July 5-6. $10.

Harvey

[NEW REVIEW] It’s not every day you

come across a 6-foot, boozing, talking rabbit. But in Mary Chase’s 1944 play Harvey, that’s exactly who you’ll meet. Harvey is the (presumably) imaginary friend of Elwood P. Dowd (Jason Shanafelt), who is also unseen to the audience. Clackamas Repertory Theatre’s rendition of this slapstick comedy is lighthearted and very funny, despite the dated cheesiness. As Harvey opens, Elwood’s socialite sister Veta and her daughter are fed up with Elwood introducing Harvey to their friends and embarrassing them, so they decide to have him committed to a sanitarium. From here, chaos and confusion ensue at a steady clip, with the action dragging only at the beginning of the second act. The melodramatic Veta (Amanda Valley) believes her brother’s insanity is rubbing off on her, and between her hysterical weeping and madman cackling, Valley conjures the biggest laughs from the audience. Elwood, for his part, is eccentric and amiable. Constantly bowing and kissing women on the hand, he seems almost too lovable. But his unintentional humor keeps the character intriguing, with some of his slyest comments the funniest of the show. Though he’s constantly ostracized for his interactions with Harvey, there’s a sense Elwood may be more in control than those trying to tame him. “In this world, you must be oh so smart, or oh so pleasant,” Elwood says. “And I got tired of being smart.” HALEY MARTIN. Clackamas Community College, Osterman Theatre, 19600 S Molalla Ave., 657-6958 ext. 5351. 7:30 pm Thursdays-Saturdays and 2:30 pm Sundays through July 21. No show Thursday, July 4. $26.

Macbeth

The Original Practice Shakespeare Festival, which performs with minimal rehearsal and an onstage prompter, tackles the Bard’s Scottish play. Director Park, 815 SW Park Ave., 8906944. 7 pm Saturday, July 6. Free.

The Merchant of Venice

[NEW REVIEW] When updating Shakespeare, it doesn’t make sense to stop halfway. Portland Actors Ensemble’s free, al fresco production of The Merchant of Venice is like watching Miami Vice characters trying to speak Elizabethan English. In director Bruce Hostetler’s rendition of Shakespeare’s play—centered, of course, on a Jewish usurer who seeks revenge on an anti-Semitic merchant by demanding a pound of his flesh in repayment for a debt—all Italian and Jewish characters don modern dress and carry iPhones, while the princes of Morocco and Aragon wear period clothing, with the latter even wielding a sword. It’s an inconsistency that sometimes makes for a jarring, lessthan-cohesive production. With his booming voice, Shylock (James Peck) steals the thunder from many of the

Willamette Week JULY 3, 2013 wweek.com

Henry VIII had six wives, and Tara Travis plays them all in this solo show, which takes place in the afterlife as the slain ladies spill secrets and hash it out with each other. The CoHo Theater, 2257 NW Raleigh St., 715-1114. 7:30 pm Friday-Sunday, July 5-7. $15.

COMEDY Fortune Feimster

Chelsea Lately has become one of the E! channel’s biggest hits, and comedian Fortune Feimster is a big reason why. The Los Angeles-based writer and semifinalist on Last Comic Standing is known best for her sketch comedy, but her improv and motivational speeches also showcase her skills. Expect to feel at home one minute and be squirming the next. Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9th Ave., 888-643-8669. 7:30 and 10 pm FridaySaturday, July 5-6. $20-$25.

Friday Night Fights

Competitive improv, with two teams battling for stage time. Curious Comedy, 5225 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 477-9477. 10 pm every first and third Friday. $5.

Micetro

Brody Theater’s popular elimination-style improv competition. Brody Theater, 16 NW Broadway, 224-2227. 8 pm every Friday. $9-$12.

State Fair of the Union

An original sketch revue that takes aim at the American dream, consumerist fantasies and relationships. Curious Comedy, 5225 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 477-9477. 8 pm FridaysSaturdays through Nov. 23. $12-$15.

Two Houses

An improvised romance culminating in a wedding. Brody Theater, 16 NW Broadway, 224-2227. 8 pm Saturdays through July 6. $10-$12.

Weekly Recurring Humor Night

Whitney Streed hosts a weekly comedy showcase, featuring local comics and out-of-towners. Tonic Lounge, 3100 NE Sandy Blvd., 2380543. 9:30 pm every Wednesday. “Pay what you want,” $3-$5 suggested.

DANCE Burlynomicon

Some of Portland’s newest burlesque dancers take off their training bras with help from more experienced standbys. The Mad Marquis hosts the darkly comic show featuring dancers Erika Ryn, Jasmine Rain and Endymienne. Joining them is hula-hoop performer Melody Kay. The Lovecraft, 421 SE Grand Ave., 971-2707760. 9:30 pm Tuesday, July 9. $8. 21+.

Tempos

The new Portland dance troupe reprises its first show, Skeleton Woman, which the troupe says will frighten, inspire and “antagonize

FELINES SO FINE: Joe Theissen and Sara Catherine Wheatley.

CATS (BROADWAY ROSE THEATRE COMPANY) “What’s a Jellicle cat?” It’s a phrase repeated throughout the opening of Andrew Lloyd Webber’s seminal oddity Cats, which somehow became an instant smash upon its 1981 release, and then launched record-breaking runs in London and on Broadway—despite the fact nobody seems able to make much sense of all those dancing kitties. So what the hell is a Jellicle cat? It has plagued my thoughts since age 7, when my teenage brother returned from a Detroit production with cat-scratch fever. Wanting to impress him by loving the same music cool teens loved, I stole the tape and set about memorizing every word. Months later, I made my debut, regaling him with a pretty damned accurate rendition of the whimsical “Mr. Mistoffelees.” He was appalled: “What the hell is wrong with you? You’re so lame.” He then put on his headphones and cranked up Pearl Jam. I was crushed. I had never seen the play, but the songs remained for decades, haunting my psyche but still making little sense. Webber harvested his idea from a series of T.S. Eliot poems called Old Possum’s Book of Practical Cats, which he put through the filter of cheesy hot jazz and creepy, offkey synthesizer cues seemingly stolen from John Carpenter films. Then, apparently, he raided David Bowie’s costume closet post-Labyrinth. But where do mischievous Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer, rascally Skimbleshanks, tubby Bustopher Jones, and Grizabella the glamour cat fall into a narrative about felines engaged in a bizarre ritual where one is selected to ascend on a flying tire to the ethereal Heaviside Layer. What is a Heaviside Layer? What is a Jellicle cat? Or a Gumbie Cat? Or a mystery cat, a Rumpus Cat or a Pollicle Dog? What the hell was Webber on? Two decades and far too much contemplation later, I finally chanced upon Broadway Rose’s revival and learned the answer: There are no answers. But, oh, what a glorious spectacle, re-created here in all its nonsensical, synth-blasting, jaw-droppingly wacky glory. What is a Jellicle cat? Why, it’s an excuse for an actor to don a skintight leotard and belt out jazzy balladry while performing extremely elaborate and acrobatic choreography. It shows how versatile actors are—and how well they can endure repeated utterances of the word “Skimbleshanks” without breaking into giggles. This troupe, without exception, nails every beat. Seven-year-old me would have been amazed at the production, finally adding a visual element to the music that had haunted his dreams and pushed him to impress his brother. Thirty-one-year-old me wanted to drink heavily, immediately, and go home and listen to the Glee soundtrack. That’s what the cool kids like these days, right? AP KRYZA. A journey to the heart of the Heaviside Layer.

SEE IT: Cats is at the Deb Fennell Auditorium, 9000 SW Durham Road, Tigard, 620-5262. 7:30 pm Wednesday-Saturdays, 2 pm Sundays and some Saturdays through July 21. No show Thursday, July 4. $20-$37.

VISUAL ARTS

JULY 3–9 REVIEW

= WW Pick. Highly recommended. By RICHARD SPEER. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit show information—including opening and closing dates, gallery address and phone number—at least two weeks in advance to: Visual Arts, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: rspeer@wweek.com.

Barbara Sternberger: Confluence

Barbara Sternberger channels the late painter Joan Mitchell in her suite of oil paintings, Confluence. In brushstrokes that sometimes look random, other times purposeful, she recalls Mitchell and the traditions of Abstract Expressionism, in which color, surface and form melded into a kind of diagram of the artist’s subjective experience. Through July 27. Elizabeth Leach Gallery, 417 NW 9th Ave., 224-0521.

Cynthia Mosser: Ephemeral

In past shows, Cynthia Mosser has riffed on natural motifs such as squishy water plants and abstracted cells. In her new show, Ephemeral, she takes the lowly egg as her point of departure. In works on paper, such as Swirl Egg (CMY), she combines miniature scrolls and paisley patterns into an aggregate that suggests the outline of an egg or teardrop. Elegant, whimsical and deliciously vacuous, the paintings toy with our prejudices against decorativity. Through July 27. Augen DeSoto, 716 NW Davis St., 224-8182.

Diane Avio-Augee: Synergy

For creamy surfaces and sheer gestural drama, you can’t beat Abstract Expressionism, the defining art movement of the 1940s and 1950s. AbEx casts a long shadow, having influenced generations of painters in its wake. Among those emerging from the movement’s legacy is Portland artist Diane Avio-Augee, who has shown with Mark Woolley Gallery for many years. In the current show, as in the past, she displays a gift for bold brushstrokes and intuitive color combinations that add up to an impressive whole. Through July 14. Mark Woolley Gallery @ Pioneer, 700 SW 5th Ave., third floor, Pioneer Place Mall, 998-4152.

Flight

The Falcon Art Community, recently featured in a WW cover story by Aaron Mesh (“Rise of the Falcon,” March 20, 2013), partners with P:ear for the group exhibition Flight. The paintings, mixedmedia work and music in the show are the products of several months of workshops between Falcon artists and P:ear youth. Through July 26. P:ear, 338 NW 6th Ave., 228-6677.

Isamu Noguchi: We Are the Landscape of All We Know

The late Japanese-American sculptor Isamu Noguchi (1904-1988) was a master of integrating natural and industrial materials with dueling Eastern and Western sensibilities. To create this one-time-only, non-traveling exhibition, the Japanese Garden’s artistic curator, Diane Durston, worked with Matthew Kirsch at the Isamu Noguchi Foundation in New York to bring 22 of Noguchi’s sculptures to Portland. This

is the perfect setting for the work, amid the verdant hillside landscaping, rock gardens and sounds of birdsong and flowing water. Through July 21. Portland Japanese Garden, 611 SW Kingston Ave., 223-1321.

Kristan Kennedy: Sleeper

In her first solo show at Fourteen30, Kristan Kennedy deconstructs the trope of “the artist’s hand.” Photographs of trowel-and-putty masonry in an old building resemble gestural abstraction, even though the masons who did the original work were presumably not aficionados of modern art. Kennedy’s oversized linen tapestry, bedecked with crushed aluminum cans and dried gesso chunks, looks haphazardly put together but is actually a monument to intricacy and intentionality. Like a true post-postmodernist, Kennedy seems intent on simultaneously celebrating and denigrating the act of mark-making. Through July 7. Fourteen30 Contemporary, 1501 SW Market St., 236-1430.

Summer Group Show

Rick Bartow’s lyrical acrylic paintings number among the highlights of Froelick’s annual summer group show. In Bear Mother and Blue Crow Girls Sing Bear, the artist marries depictions of iconic human/animal/spirit hybrids with abstract passages, replete with push-pull dynamics straight out of the Hans Hofmann playbook. Elsewhere in the show, Laura Ross-Paul debuts a new technique, most apparent in the painting Rain Tree, a moody, sylvan landscape with seepy, driplike textures frozen in a waxy finish. The piece contrasts with Hood, which is in a style more recognizable as Ross-Paul’s native idiom. A portrait of a woman wearing a hoodie, it uses contemporary garments to lend a sense of disconnect to a timeless pose and open visage. Through July 13. Froelick Gallery, 714 NW Davis St., 222-1142.

Wilder Schmaltz: Night Lands

With their garishly colored foregrounds and inky backgrounds, Wilder Schmaltz’s drawings have the look of black-velvet paintings. The artist culls his imagery from old magazines, yearbooks and photos, isolating and recontextualizing pictures of people whose expressions he finds intriguing. These people become archetypes of repressed emotions, often covering their faces or glancing away in ways that seem rueful or self-conscious. Schmaltz then removes the figures from their settings and puts them into fantastical, sci-fi vignettes. July 5-28. Gallery 6, 131 NE 6th Ave., 206-7280.

For more Performance listings, visit

NEPENTHES AND INVERSION: +/Two newish public-art sculptures have appeared in Portland in recent months. One is on the west side, the other on the east. And one is an aesthetic atrocity, the other an epiphany. First, the atrocity: Dan Corson’s four-sculpture series, Nepenthes, installed along Northwest Davis Street in Old Town between 5th and 8th Avenues. Nearly 17 feet high, these bulbous eyesores are based on the nepenthe, a carnivorous tropical plant that eats insects, lizards and small rodents. Garish and cheap-looking, the sculptures could be props in a high-school staging of The Little Mermaid. In an outlet mall in Kissimmee, Fla., they’d fit right in. In the Northwest, they come across as dumbed-down knockoffs of Chihuly glass. At nighttime, when you wish they would disappear, the damned things glow in the dark thanks to photovoltaic panels. One of Corson’s sculptures is only paces away from the entrance to Butters Gallery, a longtime Old Town fixture. Immediately after the piece was installed, creative director Jeffrey Butters took pains to distance the gallery from Nepenthes in a Facebook post that read: “UGH! Please know we were neither consulted nor involved in this debacle.” In person, Butters expresses his disdain even more colorfully. “I wish someone would run over them with a truck,” he says. “Everyone I know who’s seen them is basically throwing up. I want to put a sign on them that says, ‘Hey, the 1970s called, and they want their lava lamps back!’” The project began as a joint effort by TriMet, the Old Town/Chinatown Visions Committee and ZGF Architects, with the aim of enhancing visual interest and pedestrian traffic on Northwest Davis. The Regional Arts & Culture Council got involved when the project grew in scope from a creative lighting project into a fullblown sculptural proposal by Corson. According to Kristin Calhoun, RACC’s public art manager, Nepenthes had a budget of $300,000 and required frequent design modifications. Among the compromises was the placement of each piece; many of them wound up in awkward positions because of infrastructure issues beneath sidewalks and the need for direct sunlight to activate solar panels. Calhoun says everyone directly involved in the project is pleased with how it turned out, but she concedes getting “mixed feedback” from “folks who felt that

New public art pieces inspire, infuriate.

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INVERSION: +/-

[the sculptures] sort of appeared out of nowhere and were a little random in their placement.” If you want to see a RACC-funded public-art project that doesn’t make you blow chunks, head across the Willamette for Inversion: +/- by Seattle-based design duo Lead Pencil Studio. Designers Annie Han and Daniel Mihalyo have positioned soaring, COR-TEN steel structures by the east ramps of the Morrison and Hawthorne bridges. With its open composition and oxidized materiality, the work evokes the gritty past of the Industrial Southeast waterfront. It also suggests an abstracted banyan tree or the ghostly outline of a barn, its perpendicular planes dancing midair in a complex visual fugue. As you walk or drive around the sculptures, their forms seem to change shape in a rapturous, ever-evolving dialogue with negative space. Although architectural in scale, the work’s conspicuous lack of any roof opens it up, leading the eye skyward. It is a cathedral with only clouds or stars for a ceiling. Sublimely elegant, the work looks every penny of its $700,000 budget. A final phase of construction is set to begin over the summer, which will complete the project by turning one component into a mirror image of the other, hence the title Inversion: +/-. Unlike Nepenthes, this work has both material and thematic roots in its site. It has instantly become the city’s most ethereal and haunting work of public art. RICHARD SPEER. NEPENTHES

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BOOKS

July 24

JULY 3–9

= WW Pick. Highly recommended. By PENELOPE BASS. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit lecture or reading information at least two weeks in advance to: WORDS, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: words@wweek.com. Fax: 243-1115.

WEDNESDAY, JULY 3 Comics Release Party

Like superheroes working as a team for the greater good, comic creators Jason Leivian from Floating World, Zack Soto from Study Group and Francois Vigneault from Family Style joined their creative forces a year ago. They’re now celebrating the release of four new comics: Farel Dalrymple’s “weird, sad and silly” fantasy adventure It Will All Hurt, Zack Soto’s second edition of his comics anthology Study Group Magazine No. 2 and Francois Vigneault’s moon-based sci-fi romp Titan No. 1. Floating World will also release a hardcover edition of Kilian Eng’s futuristic illustration and graphic design in Object 10 Works. Floating World Comics, 400 NW Couch St., 241-0227. 6-10 pm. Free.

BEST PORTLAND of

FRIDAY, JULY 5 Greg Rucka

In Greg Rucka’s dystopian future, government is a joke and possession is everything (so, kinda like today). His new comic, Lazarus No. 1, kicks off with the immediate death of its protagonist, with things going swiftly downhill from there. Portland-based Rucka, who has penned nearly a dozen novels and had the opportunity to write comics featuring Batman, Superman and Wonder Woman, will be on hand for the release party of Lazarus. Bridge City Comics, 3725 N Mississippi Ave., 282-5484. 6 pm. Free.

MONDAY, JULY 8 Story Time for Grown-ups

For the ninth summer in a row, Story Time for Grown-ups will feature Dick Lewis reading from the ancient epic Beowulf. Lewis, who holds a doctorate in Old and Middle English literature, will read the sprawling tale in its original Anglo-Saxon. Story Time founder David Loftus will read an excerpt from Grendel, John Gardner’s 1972 retelling of Beowulf from the monster’s point of view. Grendel’s Coffee House, 729 E Burnside St., 595-9550. 7:30 pm. Free.

wweek.com

VoL 38/38 07.25.2012

Andrew Sean Greer

Space Reservation & Materials Deadline July 17th at 4pm • Call 503.445.2761 • Email sregan@wweek.com 46

Willamette Week JULY 3, 2013 wweek.com

Following his main character through alternating time periods and multiple lives as she undergoes an experimental psychiatric treatment, Andrew Sean Greer’s new novel, The Impossible Lives of Greta Wells, explores the question of “what if?” in a story both magical and heartbreaking. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 228-4651. 7:30 pm. Free.

Anna Keesey

Taking on the classic Western genre, Oregon author Anna Keesey’s debut novel, Little Century, follows 18-yearold Esther Chambers as she goes to live with a distant cousin in the ranching town of Century, Ore., in the early 1900s. She finds herself torn between loyalty to her family and her love for a sheepherder who is the enemy of the cattleman. What’s a Western woman to do? Powell’s Books on Hawthorne, 3723 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 228-4651. 7:30 pm. Free.

TUESDAY, JULY 9 Doug Fine

Examining the business side of cannabis culture, author Doug Fine reports on the revenue produced in the underground marijuana industry, pot-friendly law enforcement and the emergence of taxpaying “gan-

japreneurs.” Fine’s new book, Too High to Fail: Cannabis and the New Green Economic Revolution, explores the possibility that legalizing marijuana at the federal level could be a boon to the economy, as well as what it would mean for our culture. Duuuude. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 228-4651. 7:30 pm. Free.

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REVIEW

ANNA KEESEY, LITTLE CENTURY Oregon-bound from her home in Chicago, Esther Chambers gets a hopeful impression of her soon-to-be home from a train conductor who describes it as an abundant garden shaded by trees so large you can build a house by felling just one. This lush, developed Oregon known to Portlanders, and to author Anna Keesey, a Another century, professor at Linfield College, is another Oregon. far from the high desert where Esther lands. “Oregon,” she sees, “has been misreported.” Keesey’s compelling debut, Little Century (Picador, 322 pages, $16), is classic Western genre fiction, juxtaposing a stirring love story with the unforgiving frontier in Century, Ore., at the turn of the 20th century. We follow 18-year-old Esther, recently orphaned by her mother’s death, as she ventures west to join her only living relative, cousin Ferris “Pick” Pickett. Pretending to be of age, Esther homesteads a piece of land only to find herself embroiled in a war between cattle and sheep ranchers. Her loyalty is torn between her cousin, a cattleman, and her love interest, a sheepherder. Beginning timid and naive, Esther matures quickly and courageously into womanhood. Keesey’s well-drawn characters have relatable flaws and hidden secrets, making them feel genuine. While the youthful romance keeps a lighter tone, Keesey is careful not to sugarcoat the brutality of the Wild West. She writes: “He just kept smiling and his teeth were all outlined in blood. I never saw anything like that son of a bitch.” The narrative is intriguing, although not fast-paced. The driving conflict is introduced too late in the story, pushing the bulk of the action to the end of the book as the beginning drags. Like many great Westerns, grim fate is foreshadowed: “For if this is the fate of the sheep, what of the shepherd?” Esther asks. At times, this bogs downs the book, creating a sense of hopelessness, only partially averted by magnificent imagery and escalating romance. Keesey writes with an easy elegance; her prose is gracefully captivating and clear as the playa lake in the center of town that also serves as the center of the battle between the ranchers. “All is gray and sleeping under a shiver-thin coverlet of old snow,” Esther remarks upon arriving in the desert. Though the story moves at the slow pace of its era, it’s a well-written visit to a time and place unbeknownst even to Oregonians of our own place and time. HALEY MARTIN. GO: Anna Keesey reads at Powell’s Books on Hawthorne, 3723 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 228-4651, on Monday, July 8. 7:30 pm. Free. Keesey also reads at Broadway Books, 1714 NE Broadway, 2841726, on Tuesday, July 16. 7 pm. Free.

JULY 4-9 FEATURE

= WW Pick. Highly recommended.

PHOTOS COURTESY UNIVERSAL STUDIOS, M G M , A P P H OTO , WA R N E R B R O S

MOVIES

Editor: REBECCA JACOBSON. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, send screening information at least two weeks in advance to Screen, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: rjacobson@wweek.com. Fax: 243-1115.

20 Feet From Stardom

A- Life is unfair, and the music indus-

try is worse. If there were a rubric to figure out what makes one performer a household name and the other just another name in the liner notes, the history of pop would read much differently. Turning the spotlight on several career backup singers, Morgan Neville’s 20 Feet From Stardom shows, with great warmth and color, what it might sound like. These are voices and personalities every bit as big as Tina’s and Aretha’s but that, through the vagaries of fate more than anything else, never made what Bruce Springsteen calls “the long walk” from the back of the stage to the front. Only Sheryl Crow, it seems, fully shed the stigma of being a supporting player. Others have come frustratingly close: Lisa Fischer won a Grammy in 1992 but still has to wait in line at the post office. Merry Clayton helped make “Gimme Shelter” into the Stones’ finest moment but never had a major hit herself. Darlene Love, a protégée and plaything of Phil Spector, is the most recognizable, though that’s mostly because she played Danny Glover’s wife in the Lethal Weapon movies. She was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 2011, but only after the surreal experience of hearing her voice wafting from the radio in a house she’d been hired to clean. Most are resigned to their roles in the musical ecosystem, content to have sacrificed their own aspirations for the sake of elevating the art itself. Whether that’s noble or a con, Neville never judges. He just lets them sing. And, in a more perfect universe, that would be enough. MATTHEW SINGER. Living Room Theaters.

A Band Called Death

B The documentary A Band Called

Death feels a bit like opening a washing machine midcycle. There’s still a bit of dirt, but everything is warm and sudsy. Directors Mark Covino and Jeff Howlett chronicle the struggles of the three brothers who became the Detroit punk group Death, all the way from their largely anonymous beginnings in the ’70s to their belated rise to stardom in 2009. Though the directors place undue emphasis on the fact that Death was making music two years before the Ramones, the film succeeds when the two surviving band members are allowed to play equal parts evangelist and punkrocker. Bobby and Dennis Hackney are best when probed about their beliefs, as when they recall their decision to reject a $20,000 record deal after the label asked them to change their name to something more marketable. But Covino and Howlett can lose sight of the Hackneys’ story of family and faith, and their desire to spin a rock story at times overshadows the brothers’ compelling spiritual exploration. JOE DONOVAN. Hollywood Theatre.

Before Midnight

A In Before Sunrise, the 1995 film

about two young travelers who spend a night together in Vienna, the American Jesse (Ethan Hawke) says he views himself as a perpetual 13-year-old boy. Celine (Julie Delpy), the Sorbonne student he’s met on the train, responds that she sees herself as an old woman, forever pretending to be young. Eighteen years later, with the characters now in their early 40s, those self-perceptions seem, if anything, to have deepened. For those coming late to Richard Linklater’s nowepic cinematic romance, a recap: After the dreamy, witty gabfest of Before Sunrise, the two didn’t meet again for nine years, in 2004’s luminous Before Sunset. And now, again nine years later, they’re back in the nearly perfect Before Midnight: coupled, living in Paris, raising flaxen-haired twin moppets. While they still have spark, their nervous, youthful energy has been supplanted by something harder and sharper, as they navigate the challenges of maintaining a relationship.

Early on, Linklater provides one of the uninterrupted takes that showcase the brilliant rhythms of his unobtrusive filmmaking. The take is nearly 15 minutes long, shot in a car, as Jesse and Celine traverse from a discussion of parenting style to playful flirting to heated talk about the future. The debate continues later, at the hotel where Jesse and Celine are supposed to be having an amorous evening away from their daughters. That argument— a remarkable half-hour that should go down in cinematic history—is funny, painful and thoroughly astounding. Hawke and Delpy inhabit their roles so completely, and their characters are so good at manipulating conversation, that I found my loyalties zinging back and forth as if in a high-speed, particularly vicious game of pingpong. Not, of course, that I wanted one partner to win—I just wanted it to stop. Or, maybe, I didn’t. R. REBECCA JACOBSON. Hollywood Theatre, Fox Tower.

The Croods

B So here’s the thing: The Croods fails to conjure a complex or logically consistent world. It fails to populate that world with credible characters, or to usher those characters through a series of dramatically satisfying trials. But so what? This is primitive, pre-Pixarian family entertainment at its most rambunctious. In a nutshell: Nic Cage, voicing a knuckle-dragging caveman, cracks wise, pulls faces and delivers zany, half-cooked monologues on death and love and family amid stunning, oversaturated landscapes that evoke both Dr. Seuss and early Tex Avery-era Looney Tunes. That’s all you need to know, that’s pretty much all you’ll get, and that ain’t necessarily a bad thing. PG. MARSHALL WALKER LEE. Academy Theater, Mt. Hood, Vancouver, Valley.

Despicable Me 2

C Gru, the lead character of

Despicable Me 2, is the sort of megalomaniacal evildoer bound to risk everything on grandiose schemes destined to fail spectacularly. Steve Carell, fittingly, blesses him with richly textured, endlessly inventive vocal embellishments, cultivating every last nuance of long suffering from the character. But the joke rings somewhat hollow when anti-villain Gru’s ambitions have been reduced from stealing the moon to caring tenderly for three adopted daughters amid the wilds of suburbia. This sequel to 2010’s blockbuster adds Kristen Wiig as high-spirited love interest and expands the animated repertoire to encompass 3-D thrills, but the story itself, which shoehorns Gru into the service of a global super-spy league for the flimsiest of reasons, arrives packed with exposition and shorn of coherency while allowing precisely no opportunities for expression of the dastardly hubris that named the franchise. Gags either pander to the target audience’s fart-joke triggers or inanely reference past cartoons— allusions to Carmen Miranda’s fruittopped headwear evidently still forced upon children no longer familiar with old movies or South American-themed floor shows (or perhaps even fruit)— without any trace of genuine wit or verve. The one bright spot is the the slapstick camaraderie of Gru’s minions. All unblinking eye and bristling energy, there’s an anarchic zest to their headlong confusion that happily overwhelms each scene. As importantly, only when commanding those little yellow creatures does Gru truly reclaim his voice. PG. JAY HORTON. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Mill Plain, Cornelius, Lloyd Center, Moreland, Oak Grove, Cinema 99, Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Evergreen Parkway, Hilltop, Lloyd Mall, Movies on TV, Pioneer Place, Sherwood, Wilsonville, Roseway, Sandy.

Directing Dissent

[ONE NIGHT ONLY] A new docu-

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SUMMER MOVIE MATCHMAKING TAKE THIS QUIZ TO DISCOVER YOUR BIG-SCREEN BOYFRIEND. BY R EB ECCA JACOB SON

rjacobson@wweek.com

Hey girl, looking to spice up your summer vacay? Hollywood hotties are heating up screens across Portland parks, and WW, your trusty guide to all things teen, is here to help you decide which movie to see, based on which star you find dreamiest. The boy next door? The jock? The dreamboat? The 7-foot-tall French strongman? Take this quiz to figure out which dude is your perfect movie match! What’s his best personality trait? A. Friendly with everyone, even that crazy old neighbor. B. Astonishing physical strength. C. He’s always looking out for his little brother. Such a sweetheart! D. Quiet dignity. What’s your guy’s style? A. Practical layers: casual button-down, jean jacket (so in right now!) and a puffy vest for when he gets cold or goes boating. B. Super-cute earth tones. C. The athletic look—it’s all about a cutoff tee and sweats, with a bandanna for a bit of flair. D. Vintage wool Brooklyn Dodgers cap. What would be your perfect date? A. Dancing the night away at a retro ’50s underwater-themed party. B. A cozy night at home playing word games. C. Caving. You can hardly wait to get him alone underground. D. Epic Saturday at the batting cages. What does he say that just makes you melt? A. “If you put your mind to it, you can accomplish anything.” B. “Anybody want a peanut?” C. “You’ve got a great body.” D. “A life is not important except in the impact it has on other lives.”

What’s his hidden talent? A. Skateboarding, hoverboarding, guitar. B. Writing limericks. C. Zoo bombing. D. Clothing design. Nobody’s perfect. What’s your guy’s biggest flaw? A. He’s always 25 minutes late. B. Can’t beat Hulk Hogan. C. He still doesn’t have his driver’s license. D. Struggles with long infield throws. And shhh: What’s your guy’s biggest secret? A. He has a weird thing with his mom. B. His hands may be huge, but... C. He’s scared of bats. D. He actually wanted to play for the Yankees. You just bombed your history exam. How does your guy cheer you up? A. Goes back in time; makes you prettier. B. Squeezes coal into diamonds; passes out. C. Brings you some dude’s money; gets shot in shitty hotel in El Paso. D. Hits home run; defeats racism. What’s your guy’s biggest accomplishment? A. Inventing rock ’n’ roll. B. Remaining undefeated for 15 years...before being body-slammed at Wrestlemania III. C. Saving Astoria, Ore. D. Overcoming every single odd against him, ever. Mostly A’s: You love a guy with a rebellious streak! You get Marty McFly from Back to the Future. Mostly B’s: Hope you like tall dudes! Your match is Fezzik from The Princess Bride, played by Andre the Giant. Mostly C’s: What a hunk! You’re scoring with Brand (Josh Brolin) from The Goonies. Mostly D’s. Lucky you! Jackie Robinson (42) is your other half. SEE IT: Movies in the Park is at parks across the city through Sept. 12. Movies begin at dusk. See portlandoregon.gov/parks for full schedule. Free.

Willamette Week JULY 3, 2013 wweek.com

JULY 4-9

mentary about activist John Roemer, exploring his role in the civil-rights movement and his embrace of civil disobedience. Clinton Street Theater. 7 pm Monday, July 8.

Doin’ It in the Park

[ONE NIGHT ONLY] A documentary that digs into the history and lore of New York City’s pick-up basketball scene. Hollywood Theatre. 7:30 pm Wednesday, July 3.

Frances Ha

A- People have been trying to figure

out twentysomethings at least since Dustin Hoffman unzipped Anne Bancroft’s dress. In 2010, The New York Times Magazine ran a late-to-thegame article about a “new” life stage called “emerging adulthood” (a phrase coined by a psychology researcher a decade before) when self-indulgence and self-discovery collide. The exuberant and disarming Frances Ha is a portrait of one such emerging adult, shot in resplendent black-and-white and scored like a French New Wave film. As played with haphazard elegance by Greta Gerwig, Frances is a 27-yearold aspiring dancer in New York City still lurching through the obstacle course of a privileged post-collegiate life. Sometimes life is a playground, as when Frances and best friend Sophie (a snappy Mickey Sumner) play fight in Central Park or snuggle platonically in their apartment. And sometimes it’s a minefield, with the perils of adulthood blowing up without warning in Frances’ face, as when Sophie announces she’s moving out. While Sophie grows more serious about her hedge-fund boyfriend, Frances remains needy, frequently oblivious of others and prone to hogging conversations with directionless soliloquies. Yet she’s immensely likable. Gerwig strips her performance of affect or cutesiness; unlike those manic pixie dream girls, she’s not being quirky just to snag a guy. This non-romantic bent lends Frances Ha freshness, amplified by the rhythmic, sprightly screenplay, co-written by Gerwig and Noah Baumbach. “I’m not messy, I’m busy,” says Frances. Later, after a squabble, she sputters at Sophie: “Don’t treat me like a three-hour brunch friend!” It’s fluid yet fizzy, specific yet eminently relatable. In one of the loveliest moments, David Bowie’s “Modern Love” plays as Frances spins through the streets. Backpack bouncing, floralprint dress cutting a contrast with the crosswalk striping, she’s every bit the emerging adult: aimless yet hopeful, self-absorbed yet in wide-eyed awe at the big, beautiful world. R. REBECCA JACOBSON. Kiggins, Laurelhurst Theatre, Living Room Theaters.

Free Samples

D+ [TWO NIGHTS ONLY] You’re familiar with the old adage “nothing in life is free.” Jay Gammill’s comedy Free Samples takes those words to heart. Possibly the most unpleasant human being in the world—or at least in Los Angeles—Jillian (Jess Weixler) is a hungover law-school dropout with daddy issues and a fiance she doesn’t talk to. So naturally, she’s the one handing out free samples of Mike’s Dream Ice Cream to the various passersby in an empty parking lot. Jillian is subbing for her one and only friend (Halley Feiffer), and with the free tastes of chocolate and vanilla she serves up a side of bitterness and sass. The highlight of the film comes in scenes between Weixler (who dryly deadpans her way through, adding just a bit of charm to Jillian’s unpleasantness) and Jesse Eisenberg, who plays Tex, the guy Jillian doesn’t remember meeting at the bar the previous night. But given that these exchanges account for maybe five of the film’s 80 minutes, they’re just a few sweet sprinkles on top of a very bitter sundae. KAITIE TODD. Clinton Street Theater. 9 pm Wednesday-Thursday, July 3-4.

A Girl and a Gun

A- [ONE NIGHT ONLY] “It’s my first

boyfriend,” says 19 year-old Emily Blount, smiling as she fondles the stock of her brand-new $12,000 shotgun. “It’s mine, and it’s pretty, and I can’t stop touching it.” Blount’s peculiar bond with her firearm is one of the

many complex, often bizarre stories told in Cathryne Czubek’s captivating documentary A Girl and a Gun. Czubek hops from state to state, gathering stories from gun-toting women of all stripes—a journalist who armed herself after receiving death threats from readers, a tai chi instructor seeking self defense, an inmate in Louisiana who shot her girlfriend to death, and many others. Some of the women see guns as sexy, powerful toys; others believe they’re a necessary evil. “I don’t feel any different about it than I do about being a woman with a food processor, says a mother from Auburn, Ala., who enjoys taking her young son into the woods to fire rifles into a tranquil lake. Another woman acknowledges guns as a symbol of power in the feminist movement, but concedes they may not help women achieve tangible change. “I mean, you can’t shoot your boss when you want a pay raise,” she says. EMILY JENSEN. Clinton Street Theater. 7 pm Sunday, July 7.

The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo

C+ [THREE DAYS ONLY, REVIVAL]

The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo is a movie all too proud of its refurbished shock value. David Fincher’s take on Stieg Larsson’s froth of woman-killing and woman’s revenge is less repellent than the flat nose-rubbing of the Swedish version, maybe because Fincher mostly gets his jollies from digital showboating. The movie looks like somebody found the pornography stash of Steve Jobs; the snow and the torture chamber both look like they were designed by Apple. The enterprise has a necrotic vibe that is distancing, and in some shots, the characters’ skin is nearly purple. The only human element is Rooney Mara. As the hacker detective Lisbeth Salander, she benefits from lucky miscasting: Her big, emotive eyes belie the heroine’s traumatized unfeeling. R. AARON MESH. Fifth Avenue Cinema. 7 and 10 pm Friday-Saturday and 3 pm Sunday, July 5-7.

Hannah Arendt

C- Goodness knows there’s a fascinating film to be made about the titular philosopher, writer and theorist, but this sure ain’t it. That’s mostly because director Margarethe von Trotta chooses to home in on a key moment of Arendt’s last years— when she covered the trial of Nazi war criminal Adolf Eichmann for The New Yorker—while skimming over her years as a student and lover of Martin Heidegger and her escape from Nazioccupied France. This candy-colored, overacted biopic instead relies on too many scenes of Arendt staring wistfully out of a window, smoking, as she struggles with Jewish guilt and “the banality of evil.” ROBERT HAM. Living Room Theaters.

The Heat

C The Heat may be the most tragic blunder since Pryzbylewski gunned down that plainclothes cop in Season 3 of The Wire. Despite the combined talents of Bridesmaids director Paul Feig, Parks and Recreation writer Katie Dippold and go-for-broke star Melissa McCarthy, the few jokes that hit their mark are severely overshadowed by the film’s lousy rap sheet. After rushing to team up Ashburn (Sandra Bullock), a buttoned-down FBI control freak, with Mullins (McCarthy), a borderline-feral Boston police detective, the action-comedy sets them off in lukewarm pursuit of a shadowy drug lord. With the film barely feigning interest in its own slapdash plot, it quickly devolves into a succession of scenes intended to reinforce that Ashburn is extremely strait-laced while Mullins is incredibly slovenly. You can watch McCarthy and Bullock bounce off each other for only so long before the effect becomes about as amusing as staring at a Newton’s cradle. In terms of meeting its “buddy cop” requirements, The Heat is content to go through the paces, and Feig tends to become overly enamored with his stars, allowing them to riff for far too long. McCarthy is a nimble actor, but—as in the abysmal Identity Thief—she’s reduced here to strictly a blunt-force weapon. Asking her to do little more than hurl f-bombs is just a crime. R. CURTIS WOLOSCHUK. Cedar

Willamette Week JULY 3, 2013 wweek.com

R A D I U S -T W C

MOVIES

20 FEET FROM STARDOM Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Mill Plain, Cornelius, Lloyd Center, Oak Grove, Cinema 99, Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Evergreen Parkway, Hilltop, Lloyd Mall, Movies on TV, Pioneer Place, Sherwood, Wilsonville, Sandy.

Iron Man 3

A- Going dark, as superhero movies are wont to do in the third round, without losing its charm, Iron Man 3 emerges as a top-tier superhero yarn that emphasizes something too often forgotten by its brethren: Comic-book movies are supposed to be fun. Here, our hero (the great Robert Downey Jr.) squares off against an Osama bin Laden-type villain known as the Mandarin (Ben Kingsley), a deranged scientist (Guy Pearce) and an army of super soldiers. In reuniting Downey with Kiss Kiss Bang Bang director Shane Black, Marvel has managed yet another home run in a series of blockbuster gambits. In Black—the man who invented the banter-driven buddy-cop genre with Lethal Weapon—Marvel has finally found a writer who can convey Stark’s gift for fast talk and self-deprecating barbs. He’s populated his film with loquacious henchmen, slapstick sight gags and enough putdowns to fuel 1,000 celebrity roasts. Iron Man 3 isn’t just a fine superhero film. It isn’t just a fine action flick, either. It’s a film that embraces a mold before completely breaking it with out-of-leftfield twists and turns that keep the viewer engaged and chuckling with alarming frequency. PG-13. AP KRYZA. Academy Theater, Bagdad, Kennedy School, Laurelhurst Theater, Mt. Hood, City Center, Movies on TV.

Just Like a Woman

C- Just Like a Woman has all the nec-

essary components of a masterful melodrama: arranged marriage, accidental manslaughter, infidelity, inexplicable bigotry, physical cruelty, deceit…and belly dancing. More specifically, Sienna Miller belly-dances while wearing a black wig that makes her look like Uma Thurman in Pulp Fiction. But rather than these elements cohering into a heartstring-tugging narrative, Rachid Bouchareb’s film has neither camp appeal nor emotional depth. The drama follows Marilyn (Miller), an unhappy working-class Chicago woman who’s lost her crummy receptionist job and has just seen her husband in bed with another woman, and Mona (Golshifteh Farahani), an equally unhappy North African immigrant with a tyrannical mother-in-law and a spineless husband. Marilyn and Mona wind up fleeing Chicago, Thelma and Louisestyle, to Santa Fe, where Marilyn intends to audition for a belly-dancing troupe. For gas money, they don bejeweled bras and fringed skirts, gyrating at restaurants and nightclubs along the way. Though the desert vistas are gorgeously shot, the lazy screenplay and vacant performances make this a road movie that fails to transport its viewers anywhere. R. REBECCA JACOBSON. Hollywood Theatre.

King Kong

[THREE DAYS ONLY] Jack Black and Adrien Brody? Pssh. The original King Kong—starring Fay Wray, Bruce Cabot, Robert Armstrong and a giant stopmotion-animated monster—opened

80 years ago to critical acclaim in New York City. The special effects were groundbreaking then, and it remains a must-see. Hollywood Theatre. 7:30 pm Friday, 3:30 and 7:30 pm SaturdaySunday, July 5-7.

Kung Fu Theater: A Tribute to Lau Kar Leung

[ONE NIGHT ONLY, REVIVAL] The legendary fight choreographer and director Lau Kar Leung died in late June, and the Hollywood presents a sampler (all in glorious 35 mm) of his greatest hits. Hollywood Theatre. 7:30 pm Tuesday, July 9.

Maniac

A gory reboot of William Lustig’s 1980 horror film, starring Elijah Wood as the delusional owner of a mannequin store who scalps women in his free time. Living Room Theaters.

Man of Steel

C Seventy-five years ago, as the Greatest Generation geared up to save the planet from tyranny, a figure of Christ-like perfection standing up for Earth’s right to exist was precisely what pop culture needed. In 1938, an alien savior in red underwear appeared in newsprint. Seven years later, the threat of global fascism lay dismantled. For Superman, it was all downhill from there. Original archetypes don’t adapt well (see: the Sex Pistols, Hulk Hogan, Cheerios), and as the world changed, old Supes stayed the same, fighting for truth, justice and the American Way, even as those definitions blurred, warped and finally lost meaning. There’s a reason the Superman mythos has been revisited on film only one other time since 1987, and it’s the same reason people fall asleep in church: Flawlessness is boring. Approaching Superman in the post-Dark Knight era means either altering fundamental aspects of the character or embracing full-blown camp. Or, y’know, doing what Zack Snyder does in Man of Steel: recycling the origin story with stonefaced seriousness, and blowing shit up for 2½ hours. If Snyder wasn’t going to rethink Superman for the 21st century, what the hell is the point? Henry Cavill looks the part, with his square jaw and action-figure chest, but he’s mostly there to fill out a suit. Is it possible for Superman, in 2013, to grip the zeitgeist like Batman and the Avengers? He doesn’t have to be a scowly, growly antihero or a wisecracking frat boy. He just has to be more than what he is right now. In Snyder’s hands, he’s the same thing he’s always been: just a god in spandex. PG-13. MATTHEW SINGER. Eastport, Clackamas, Mill Plain, Cornelius, Lloyd Center, Oak Grove, Cinema 99, Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Evergreen Parkway, Hilltop, Movies on TV, Pioneer Place, Sherwood, Wilsonville, Sandy.

Monsters University

B Mike and Sully may have been inseparable pals in 2001’s Monsters, Inc., but that’s not how it started for these BFFs. Monsters University takes us back to their college years, when Sulley (John Goodman) was the cocky bro who didn’t bring a pencil to class and Mike (Billy Crystal) was the Hermione-esque know-it-all who studied rather than partied. As Dan Scanlon’s film opens, the two don’t

get along. But, after being kicked out of their major and faced with exile, they’re forced to work together with a team of misfits to prove they belong in the prestigious Scare Program. It’s an old formula that follows the story line of pretty much all college-underdog movies. But Monsters University somehow captures the giddy ups and miserable downs of entering your first year of college—the wonder of first stepping onto campus, or the envy you feel toward the classmate who can carry four cups of coffee in his arms during finals. It does this while adding charming twists (like the fact that the classmate with the coffee actually has four arms). Although not the best of Pixar’s lineup, there’s enough slapstick comedy for the kids and fast-paced banter for the adults to make it at least good for a laugh. G. KAITIE TODD. 99 West Drive-In, Eastport, Clackamas, Mill Plain, Cornelius, Lloyd Center, Oak Grove, Cinema 99, Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Evergreen Parkway, Hilltop, Lloyd Mall, Movies on TV, Pioneer Place, Sherwood, Wilsonville, Sandy.

Mumblecore Film Festival

[THREE NIGHTS ONLY, REVIVAL] Though the label is nebulous and somewhat dubious—not all low-budget, naturalistic movies made by white millennials are mumblecore—it’s undeniable that the subgenre has been aesthetically influential. For three nights, the Mission Theater will play double features of landmark mumblecore films. First up are Nobody Walks, about a young art student struggling to complete her film, and 2010’s great (and Portland-shot) Cold Weather. On Tuesday, the fest features a special screening of the new film Everyone Is Jung, centered on three young women attempting to track down a man they’ve met on the Internet, as well as Red Flag, a road movie about a solipsistic filmmaker. Closing the festival are 2007’s Hannah Takes the Stairs, with mumblecore favorite Greta Gerwig, and Color Wheel, about a bickering brother and sister on a road trip. Mission Theater. 7 pm Monday-Wednesday, July 8-10.

The Muppet Movie

A [ONE WEEK ONLY, REVIVAL] In the

‘70s, the Muppets represented everything gentle and good in the world. Sure, Miss Piggy threw a punch now and again—but, at the heart of it, the Muppets were friends who got along despite their differences. 1979’s The Muppet Movie is the one full-length film that captures that innocent and slyly subversive spirit of the TV series— a show that refused to talk down to kids, but found ways to talk sense into adults. It follows Kermit and Fozzie on their musical journey to Hollywood, where they meet A-list actors (Telly Savalas!) and fight nobly to avoid selling out. Too bad we all know how that fight ended (cough, Muppet Babies!). CASEY JARMAN. Academy Theater.

Now You See Me

C In an early scene in the magicheist movie Now You See Me, Jesse Eisenberg’s character gives an audience a piece of advice. “The more you think you see,” he says, “the easier it will be to fool you.” That’s apparently a tip director Louis Leterrier tried to follow, pulling from his bag of tricks plenty of glitz, a throbbing techno soundtrack and a camera that swirls as if on a merry-go-round and makes viewers just as dizzy. Unfortunately, being fooled by this flashy flick is no fun. An opening montage introduces us, Ocean’s Eleven-style, to our four magicians: the smartass cardsharp (Eisenberg), the charming but slightly shady mentalist (Woody Harrelson), the sexy escape artist (Isla Fisher, here to look good in miniskirts and do little else), and the streetwise pickpocket (Dave Franco, here to do even less than Fisher). Summoned by an unknown mastermind and christening themselves the Four Horsemen, they launch a series of heists. Why? Who knows! Not even, apparently, the Horsemen themselves. At their first show in Las Vegas, a “randomly chosen” audience member teleports to Paris to help the Horsemen rob a French bank, which causes 3.2 million Euros to rain down on the

JULY 4-9

The Outlaw Josey Wales

[ONE WEEK ONLY, REVIVAL] Clint Eastwood seeks to avenge the murder of his wife and son—and cements himself as a master director and star of revisionist Westerns. PG. Laurelhurst Theater.

The Place Beyond the Pines

C+ Among the things that made

director Derek Cianfrance’s breakout feature, Blue Valentine, so powerful was its extremely limited scope. With The Place Beyond the Pines, Cianfrance expands this scope, enveloping two families across more than a decade of distress, triumph and tragedy. Yet somewhere along the way, the director loses the heart that marked his previous triumph. R. AP KRYZA. Academy Theater, Laurelhurst Theater.

Raiders of the Lost Ark

[ONE NIGHT ONLY, REVIVAL] The Hollywood Theatre teams up with Burnside Brewing for free summer screenings, with beers specially crafted for each classic movie. Think Indy would like an IPA brewed with gold flake and snakeskin? Burnside Brewing, 701 E Burnside St. Dusk Saturday, July 6.

The Sapphires

B+ According to crusty Irish boozer

Dave—played with impeccable comic charm by Chris O’Dowd, Kristen Wiig’s cop boyfriend in Bridesmaids—country-western and soul music are both rooted in loss. The difference, Dave says, is that while country-western stars whine about it, soul singers fight desperately for redemption. That exuberant sense of resilience takes center stage in first-time filmmaker Wayne Blair’s massively entertaining tale about an Australian Aboriginal girl band that travels to Vietnam to entertain American troops in 1968. Loosely based on a true story (Blair’s mother was a member of the original group), The Sapphires butts up against serious issues, most prominently racial tension and the trauma of war. But between the spirited songs, big-hearted story line and hypersaturated cinematography, this is a film that unapologetically encourages finger-snapping rather than head-scratching—and bless its spangled heart for that. PG-13. REBECCA JACOBSON. Laurelhurst Theater.

The Secret Disco Revolution

C+ [TWO DAYS ONLY] Jamie Kastner’s cheeky documentary claims to tell a secret story, stripping away disco’s psychedelia to reveal the politics beneath the mesmerizing beats. Disco, Castner argues, was not just about trippy aesthetics, dance parties and checking your mind at the door: It was also a statement of protest, an argument for the liberation of women, blacks and gays. Take Donna Summer’s 1975 song “Love to Love You Baby”—the extended track ran nearly 17 minutes and featured Summer moaning and groaning erotically. “It was a 20-minute multiorgasm on record,” says historian and cultural critic Alice Echols, “intended not only for extended dancing, but extended lovemak-

ing.” In a time when women were protesting three-minute sex, this was a feminist critique in musical form. But while The Secret Disco Revolution contends that we owe much to disco’s progressive artists, Castner undercuts his argument with strangely ominous voice-over narration and campy re-enactments, in which actors dressed in outrageous disco gear do the Hustle. With some sweet flashback footage of ’70s dance clubs, the film is nostalgic, but still not as revolutionary as the title promises. HALEY MARTIN. Clinton Street Theater. 7 pm Wednesday-Thursday, July 3-4.

REVIEW DISNEY AND JERRY BRUCKHEIMER, INC

giddy spectators. For a moment it seems the Horsemen might be Occupy types, modern-day Robin Hoods who seek to return money to those who’ve been screwed over by banks and insurance companies. Yet they’re neither developed into well-drawn characters nor made into symbols of economic justice. Throughout, characters explain how magic is all about misdirection, about getting the audience to look away from where the real trick is happening. Too bad, then, that with all his interest in distracting the audience, Leterrier has left us nothing else to see. PG-13. REBECCA JACOBSON. Eastport, Clackamas, Cornelius, Living Room Theaters, Cinema 99, Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Evergreen Parkway, Hilltop, Lloyd Mall, Movies on TV, Wilsonville.

MOVIES

The Solitude Trilogy

[FOUR DAYS ONLY, REVIVAL] Though “trilogy” is a bit of a misnomer—this isn’t a sequence—the films in this trio were the first made together by hugely influential director Roberto Rossellini and great actress Ingrid Bergman. In a bit of a coup, the NW Film Center will present all three: 1950’s Stromboli, 1952’s Europa ’51, and 1954’s Voyage to Italy. Though each film stands on its own, they’re linked by thematic similarities, namely an exploration of women locked in emotional struggles. NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium. Various times FridayMonday, July 5-8. See nwfilm.org for schedule.

Stories We Tell

A We all know that every family has

its own drama, secrets and perspective. Stories We Tell is Sarah Polley’s layered, thoughtful exploration of this idea, in which she turns the lens on her own family. Polley (who has directed features like Take This Waltz) goes on a journey to investigate secrets about her mother, Diane, who died of cancer when Polley was 11. Polley gathers her four siblings, her father and others who knew her mother to “start from the beginning.” Their recollections create a colorful picture of Diane and her life, often accompanied by Super-8 footage—shot to look like home video but staged by Polley—that brings an illustrative charm to the film. Stories We Tell wisely allows the family’s humorous and emotional moments to peek through. “What are you, some kind of sadistic interviewer?” her father, Michael, half jokes at one point. It’s moments like these, when we see not talking heads but family members piecing together a mystery, that unite the past and present to make the film so engaging. PG-13. KAITIE TODD.

This Is the End

B With the underrated and mis-

understood Pineapple Express, Seth Rogen, James Franco, Danny McBride and co-screenwriter Evan Goldberg made a rock-solid American counterpart to Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz. It was a genre film told from the perspective of the kind of people who consumed such entertainment—in this case, a bunch of dopey stoners caught in the middle of an ’80s action movie. Those who decried it as—or mistook it for—a bad action movie injected with comedy seriously missed the point: What would happen if Lethal Weapon were remade with a pair of seriously high jackasses as the leads? With This Is the End, Rogen and company jump genres to the biblical apocalypse and cast Rogen, Franco, Jonah Hill and almost everyone who’s ever been in a Judd Apatow movie as horrible caricatures of themselves. As the Rapture hits and sends pretty much everybody to heaven— except for those at Franco’s housewarming party—these dudes are perfectly content to sit back, smoke weed and tell dick jokes. Like, a lot of dick jokes. It all sounds juvenile, but for the most part, This Is the End works like gangbusters, particularly in the way the actors lampoon their public personas. These dudes could make any movie fun. That this one happens to have decapitations and a brawl with Satan takes it to

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BITE THE DUST: Johnny Depp (left) and Armie Hammer.

THE LONE RANGER Updating olden-day heroes is a difficult task. Like Superman, the Lone Ranger’s mythos is rooted in an outmoded American ideal, one where unquestionable good always triumphs over evil, damsels are in constant distress, and putting a small scrap of cloth over your eyes serves as a perfect disguise. But these are more cynical times. Is it possible to update such a paragon of righteousness as the Lone Ranger, who shot through the Old West as a symbol of American morality? Eighty years after the hero first ambled into the American imagination, director Gore Verbinski’s mega-budget blockbuster can’t seem to muster any freshness, despite his miracle work in transforming Pirates of the Caribbean from a theme-park ride to a benchmark in blockbuster entertainment (though let’s say nothing about the horrid sequels). Here, the Lone Ranger still seems old-fashioned, but all the director really does to alter the character is make him something of a prick. That prick is played with minimal charisma by rising star Armie Hammer (the Winklevoss twins of The Social Network), who spends most of the movie stumbling around and treating his reluctant partner, Tonto (Johnny Depp, again subbing a weird hat for nuance), like dogshit. The pair is in cahoots to hunt down a murderous bandit (William Fichtner, reliably evil) while a tycoon (Tom Wilkinson) lays the literal tracks for Western expansion. The film follows the milquetoast hero and his caricature of a sidekick as they bound between train chases, fistfights and brothels, all unnecessarily framed by scenes of an elderly Depp telling his tale to a kid at a carnival. Despite inspired action sequences— such as a bookending set of roller-coaster locomotive chases that hurdle through the countryside with cartoonish glee—Verbinski somehow makes the film simultaneously chaotic and dull. Then there’s the matter of the violence, which is amped up to a discomforting level. The Lone Ranger is considered a family film, an opportunity to transfer a heroic property from one generation to the next. Yet the film manages a bloodthirstiness generally reserved for much darker fare. Fichtner’s villainous bronco has a thing for cutting out and biting human hearts. Bodies are shredded, women are under constant threat of rape, and one particularly jarring sequence features the onscreen massacre of hundreds of Comanche. Most of it, moreover, is played for giggles. Of course, The Lone Ranger isn’t alone in its love of wholesale death for fun (looking at you, Indiana Jones). But there’s a certain mean-spiritedness that pervades the film, weighing down what is being sold as a lighthearted romp. Yes, our hero still operates by a firm moral compass and holds to a firm anti-gun policy (that goes out the door when convenient), but the world he inhabits is one of almost absurd violence. That’s fitting for the Old West setting, to be sure, and certainly for a more cynical multiplex. Say what you will about antiquated values: The new Lone Ranger could benefit from being a little more old-fashioned—and its titular character could stand to be a lot less of a sniveling prick. AP KRYZA.

Ho-hum, Silver!

C- SEE IT: The Lone Ranger is rated PG-13. It opens Wednesday at 99W Drive-In, Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Lloyd Center, Oak Grove, Cinema 99, Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Evergreen Parkway, Fox Tower, Hilltop, Lloyd Mall, Movies on TV, St. Johns Twin, Sandy, Sherwood, Wilsonville, Cornelius, Mill Plain.

Willamette Week JULY 3, 2013 wweek.com

JULY 4-9 C AT H R Y N E C Z U B E K

MOVIES

A GIRL AND A GUN another level of stoned-out bliss. AP KRYZA. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Forest, Lloyd Center, Oak Grove, Cinema 99, Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Evergreen Parkway, Fox Tower, Movies on TV, Wilsonville.

Twilight Zone

[ONE NIGHT ONLY, REVIVAL] Three classic episodes on 16 mm. Hollywood Theatre. 7:30 pm Monday, July 8.

White House Down

p. 53

B- In a time of international turmoil, divisive politics and increasing moral vacancy, two allAmerican truths remain: Channing Tatum is smokin’ hot, and watching big explosions is fun. These are the principles that guide White House Down, in which Independence Day director Roland Emmerich again lays waste to our nation’s capital. Now, instead of an alien invasion, he unleashes computer hackers, terrorists and other enemies of the state on a mission to capture President Sawyer (Jamie Foxx). Superfluous though it may be, there is a plot. D.C. cop John Cale (Tatum) takes his angsty preteen daughter Emily (Joey King) on a tour of the White House. When Emily goes in search of a restroom, a bomb explodes nearby, and a squadron of bedraggled dudes with automatic weapons floods the marble hallways. Cale narrowly escapes a spray of bullets and takes off looking for his daughter, but instead finds the president. Ample violence, awkward political references and obnoxious racial stereotyping ensue as the unlikely duo scramble through elevator shafts and underground tunnels, with Cale shouldering the dual responsibility of protecting the president and finding Emily. What gives this trigger-happy flick some charisma, aside from feeding the red-blooded American fascination with attacks on Washington, is the patriotic appeal of an underdog prevailing against the odds. Tatum’s beautiful bod and fearless fatherly instincts don’t hurt, either. All told, it’s a silver-screen fireworks show—senseless, extravagant and just in time for the Fourth. PG-13. EMILY JENSEN. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Mill Plain, Cornelius, Living Room Theaters, Lloyd Center, Oak Grove, Cinema 99, Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Evergreen Parkway, Hilltop, Lloyd Mall, Movies on TV, Sherwood, Wilsonville, Sandy.

Women’s Edge Film Series: The Grace Lee Project

B- [ONE NIGHT ONLY] Grace Lee is an intelligent, well-liked, softspoken young American woman born of Korean immigrants. The issue is that she is far from alone. With more than 2,000 documented Grace Lees in the U.S. alone, it seems most everyone knows a Grace Lee, and most every Grace Lee is described in similar terms— with a disconcerting emphasis on the words “petite” and “nice,” even from some Grace Lees about other Grace Lees. “Does any other

Willamette Week JULY 3, 2013 wweek.com

name scream ‘generic Asian girl’?” asks the director of The Grace Lee Project, who is one such Grace Lee herself. Starting online, the Missouri native eventually travels the world to meet fellow Grace Lees, who she finds reinforce the stereotypes as much as they defy them. Among the scholars and concert pianists, she discovers an 88-year-old social activist often referred to as “Grace X” for her work in the Black Power movement, and a deaf woman who survived an abusive adoptive family to take in other victims of domestic violence. The filmmaker is an affable guide, and her deadpan, self-deprecating delivery buoys an already slight look at identity. Ultimately, though, The Grace Lee Project suffers from its own timidity, touching upon gender, assimilation, sexuality, religion and pop culture (who knew Grace Kelly worship was such a factor?), without drawing any conclusions other than the obvious: We’re different, but we’re in this together. It’s a pleasant enough personal quest that doesn’t really go anywhere. AMANDA SCHURR. Clinton Street Theater. 7 pm Tuesday, July 9.

World War Z

C It looks like Hollywood executives can sleep a little easier at night, once again content in the knowledge that they can solve a problem by throwing enough money at it. Thanks to $20 million in reshoots, Marc Forster’s World War Z has managed to conceal most of the cosmetic evidence of its clusterfuck production and emerge as an eminently watchable summer blockbuster. That said, it remains fundamentally flawed. Billed as “an oral history of the zombie war,” Max Brooks’ inventive 2006 novel-turned-source material saw dozens of characters sharing their horrific accounts of humanity’s annihilation. It’s disappointing, then, that this adaptation centers on just a single character. Brad Pitt plays Gerry Lane, a former U.N. investigator whose family is set upon by agents of the zombie apocalypse. With this brand of walking dead more akin to rabid sprinters than somnambulists, humanity is quite literally overrun in record time. Forster’s previous work on Quantum of Solace and Machine Gun Preacher hasn’t instilled much faith in his aptitude for directing action, and he lives down to his reputation here. The best that can be said is that his lack of spatial awareness occasionally serves to heighten the frantic chaos of the large-scale skirmishes. What World War Z most glaringly lacks, though, is any unique sensibility. The screenplay has no interest in subtext—the lifeblood of any great zombie film. Ultimately, such a product can only satisfy the most mindless of hordes. PG-13. CURTIS WOLOSCHUK. Eastport, Clackamas, CineMagic, Mill Plain, Cornelius, Lloyd Center, Oak Grove, Cinema 99, Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Evergreen Parkway, Hilltop, Lloyd Mall, Movies on TV, Pioneer Place, Sherwood, Sandy, St. Johns Twin.

MOVIES

JULY 5-11

BREWVIEWS COLUMBIA PICTURES INDUSTRIES, INC

Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:40, 02:20, 04:40, 07:20, 10:10 BEFORE MIDNIGHT Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:45, 02:15, 04:45, 07:15, 09:45 STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 11:30, 01:50, 04:30, 07:00, 09:35 THE GREAT GATSBY Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:15, 04:00, 06:45, 09:30 KONTIKI Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 02:00, 07:10 MUD Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:20, 03:50, 06:45, 09:45

NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium

1219 SW Park Ave., 503-221-1156 STROMBOLI Fri-Sun 03:30 EUROPA ‘51 Sat-Sun 05:45 VOYAGE TO ITALY Sat-Sun 08:00

Regal Pioneer Place Stadium 6

DOUBLE DUTY: While some filmmakers pay subtle homage to their forebears, Brian De Palma makes no attempt to hide his Hitchcock obsession. All month long, in a series called Deja Vertigo, the Hollywood Theatre pays tribute to the director’s psychological thrillers of the early ’80s. First up is 1984’s Body Double, which screws together (pun intended—there’s a murder involving a massive power drill) Vertigo and Rear Window to produce a story of claustrophobia, voyeurism, pornography and grotesque facial disfigurement. Though it has none of Hitchcock’s obsessive control, it makes up for it with a surfeit of sleaze and sex. And, in another neat tie to the Master of Suspense, it stars Melanie Griffith—daughter of Tippi Hedren, one of Hitch’s blond muses—as a hardcore porn star with a bleached David Bowie ’do. REBECCA JACOBSON. Playing at: Hollywood Theatre. Best paired with: Burnside Brewing Lime Kolsch. Also playing: Stories We Tell (Laurelhurst), The Muppet Movie (Academy). St. Johns Twin Cinemas and Pub

Lloyd Center 10 and IMAX

1510 NE Multnomah St., 800326-3264 MAN OF STEEL: AN IMAX 3D EXPERIENCE Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue 12:00, 10:25 DESPICABLE ME 2 Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue 11:30, 02:05, 03:00, 07:20 DESPICABLE ME 2 3D Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue 12:25, 04:40, 10:00 THE LONE RANGER Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue 11:50, 03:15, 03:45, 06:50, 07:30, 10:15 MONSTERS UNIVERSITY Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 11:35, 02:20, 05:05, 07:50, 10:30 THIS IS THE END Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 11:40, 02:15, 04:55, 07:40, 10:35 WORLD WAR Z Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue 12:10, 03:05, 06:45, 09:40 THE HEAT Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 12:50, 03:55, 07:10, 10:10 WHITE HOUSE DOWN Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue 12:20, 03:25, 06:35, 09:50 MAN OF STEEL Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 12:30, 10:55 STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue 06:30, 09:30 ARMIDA MET SUMMER ENCORE Wed 07:00

Bagdad Theater and Pub

3702 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 503-249-7474 THE HANGOVER PART III Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 08:50 IRON MAN 3 FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 06:00 EPIC Sat-Sun 02:00

Cinema 21

616 NW 21st Ave., 503-223-4515 MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 04:30, 07:00, 09:10

Clinton Street Theater

2522 SE Clinton St., 503238-8899 REPO! THE GENETIC OPERA Fri-Sat 12:00 LA PLAYA DC Fri 07:00 A

GIRL AND A GUN Sun 07:00 DIRECTING DISSENT Mon 07:00 THE GRACE LEE PROJECT Tue 07:00 COMPUTER CHESS Tue 09:00

Laurelhurst Theater and Pub

2735 E Burnside St., 503232-5511 STORIES WE TELL FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 06:30 THE OUTLAW JOSEY WALES Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 08:50 THE SAPPHIRES Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 06:45 IRON MAN 3 Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 09:00 FRANCES HA Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 07:20 THE PLACE BEYOND THE PINES Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 09:20 PAIN & GAIN Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 07:00 THE HANGOVER PART III Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 09:40 EPIC SatSun 01:30

Mission Theater and Pub

1624 NW Glisan St., 503-249-7474-5 AIN’T IN IT FOR MY HEALTH: A FILM ABOUT LEVON HELM Fri-Sat 07:00, 09:00 NO FILMS SHOWING TODAY Sun NOBODY WALKS Mon 07:00 COLD WEATHER Mon 09:15 RED FLAG Tue 09:15 HANNAH TAKES THE STAIRS Wed 07:00 THE COLOR WHEEL Wed 09:15

Moreland Theatre

6712 SE Milwaukie Ave., 503236-5257 DESPICABLE ME 2 Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 01:10, 03:20, 05:30, 07:40

Roseway Theatre

7229 NE Sandy Blvd., 503282-2898 DESPICABLE ME 2 Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:00, 03:00, 05:30, 08:00

8704 N Lombard St., 503286-1768 THE LONE RANGER FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 05:00, 07:55 WORLD WAR Z Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 04:30, 07:00

CineMagic Theatre

2021 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 503-231-7919 WORLD WAR Z Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 05:30, 08:00

Kennedy School Theater

5736 NE 33rd Ave., 503-249-7474-4 IRON MAN 3 Fri-SatSun-Mon 02:30 THE HANGOVER PART III FriSat-Sun-Mon-Wed 07:45 EPIC Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Wed 05:30 THE INTERNSHIP Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 02:30, 09:45

Hollywood Theatre

4122 NE Sandy Blvd., 503281-4215 A BAND CALLED DEATH Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 07:15, 09:15 JUST LIKE A WOMAN Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 07:20 BEFORE MIDNIGHT Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 09:00 KING KONG Fri-Sat-Sun 03:30, 07:30 BODY DOUBLE Fri-Sat-Sun 09:30 THE TWILIGHT ZONE Mon 07:30 A TRIBUTE TO LAU KAR LEUNG Tue 07:30 ATOMIC ROBO ANIMATION FEST Wed 07:00 MORE THAN HONEY

Regal Fox Tower Stadium 10

846 SW Park Ave., 800-326-3264 THE LONE RANGER FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:30, 12:30, 02:20, 03:45, 04:35, 07:00, 07:35, 09:30 THE ATTACK FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:40, 04:20, 09:50 THE BLING RING Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 12:10, 02:20, 05:20, 07:45, 09:50 THIS IS THE END Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 12:00, 02:35, 05:00, 07:30, 10:00 THE KINGS OF SUMMER Fri-

340 SW Morrison St., 800-326-3264 DESPICABLE ME 2 3D FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 03:50, 06:45 DESPICABLE ME 2 Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 01:10, 01:45, 04:30, 07:30, 09:30 THE HEAT Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 01:15, 04:20, 07:20, 10:20 WORLD WAR Z 3D Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 10:40 WORLD WAR Z Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 01:30, 04:40, 07:40 MONSTERS UNIVERSITY Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:45, 03:30, 07:00, 09:45 MAN OF STEEL Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:20, 03:40, 07:10, 10:30 FAST & FURIOUS 6 Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 10:10 GROWN UPS 2 PACIFIC RIM 3D PACIFIC RIM

GET BREAKING

NEWS FIRST F O L LO W @WWE E K ON TWITTER

St. Johns Theatre

8203 N Ivanhoe St., 503249-7474-6 EPIC Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 06:30 THE HANGOVER PART III FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 08:50

Academy Theater

7818 SE Stark St., 503-252-0500 THE INTERNSHIP Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 07:20 AFTER EARTH Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 04:50 EPIC Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:30, 02:45, 05:05 THE HANGOVER PART III FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 09:50 IRON MAN 3 FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 02:10, 07:00 THE PLACE BEYOND THE PINES FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 01:45, 06:40 THE CROODS Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:00 THE MUPPET MOVIE Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:40, 04:35, 09:30

Living Room Theaters

341 SW 10th Ave., 971-222-2010 20 FEET FROM STARDOM Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:40, 12:15, 01:50, 02:30, 04:40, 05:10, 06:50, 09:35 HANNAH ARENDT Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:05, 02:20, 04:10, 07:15 FRANCES HA Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 11:55, 01:40, 03:40, 05:40, 07:45, 09:40 MANIAC Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 09:00, 10:50 NOW YOU SEE ME Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 04:30, 07:00, 09:30 WHITE HOUSE DOWN Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 11:30, 02:10, 04:50, 06:40, 07:30, 09:25, 10:05

SUBJECT TO CHANGE. CALL THEATERS OR VISIT WWEEK.COM/MOVIETIMES FOR THE MOST UP-TODATE INFORMATION FRIDAY-THURSDAY, JULY 5-11, UNLESS OTHERWISE INDICATED

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2256 N Albina Ave #181 503-289-1986 metrocomputerworks.com

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REMODELING & REPAIR SE Tricks of the Trades 503.522.6425 www.remodelingpdx.com

TREE SERVICE NE Steve Greenberg Tree Service 1925 NE 61st Ave. Portland, Oregon 97213 503-774-4103

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Featuring Swedish, deep tissue and sports techniques by a male therapist. Conveniently located, affordable, and preferring male clientele at this time. #5968 By appointment Tim 503.575.0356

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MEN’S HEALTH MANSCAPING Weight Mastery Stress Relief Spiritual Insight Smoking Cessation Procrastination Self Esteem Past Life

Bodyhair grooming M4M. Discrete quality service. 503-841-0385 by appointment.

PHYSICAL FITNESS

I am an amazingly sweet Chow/Shepherd mix who is about 6 years old. I’ve got some great personality traits! I am patient and loving with all people (kids too!), have an inquisitive mind fit for problem solving (load me up on those food dispensing toys), and do well with other animals. Hiking and running are two of my favorite activities, and I bet you would find I love beaches too! I am crate

trained, potty trained, ride well in the car and don’t mind being groomed. A dog doesn’t get any easier than that! Fill out an application at pixieproject.org to schedule a meet and greet. I am being re-homed from my original owner as they have fallen on some hard times. They want me to be happy and healthy and loved and they know my perfect family is out there! Is it you???

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SERVICES

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CAREER TRAINING AIRLINE CAREERS

begin here – Get trained as FAA certified Aviation Technician. Housing and Financial aid for qualified students. Job placement assistance. Call Aviation Institute of Maintenance 877-492-3059 (AAN CAN)

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is NOW Just $12 for the Renewal Server Class. (Seasoned Pro’s) and STILL only $15 for the Initial Server Class. (First Timers) Take Your Class @ www.happyhourtraining.com where we are always ‘Bartender Tested & OLCC Approved!’ 541-447-6384.

GENERAL CLEANING

www.ExtrasOnly.com 503.227.1098

HAULING/MOVING

EMPLOYMENT OPPORTUNITIES Haulers with a Conscience

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Cashier for Adult Theater

18 years+, afternoons, evenings, weekends. Part time or full time. 503-310-8042.

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Member Relationship Officer (Loan Officer)

If you are looking for: -Great income plus incentive opportunities -A positive, sales-oriented culture -A fun place to work and grow professionally We are looking for you! We have a rare opening for an enthusiastic and experienced loan officer to help our members with all aspects of consumer lending, from application through processing to funding. You need to thrive in a sales environment, build positive relationships with our members, and identify crossselling opportunities. Powerful communications skills and relentless enthusiasm are essential! This is full-time, Monday-Friday position. Pay & benefits are competitive with excellent production and referral incentive opportunities. Apply at www.pnwfcu.org Proud to be an Equal Opportunity Employer Paid In Advanced! MAKE up to $1000 A WEEK mailing brochures from home! Helping Home Workers since 2001! Genuine Opportunity! No Experience required. Start Immediately! www.mailing-station. com (AAN CAN)

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Week of July 3

ARIES (March 21-April 19): In his book *The Fisher King and the Handless Maiden,* Robert Johnson says many of us are as much in debt with our psychic energy as we are with our financial life. We work too hard. We rarely refresh ourselves with silence and slowness and peace. We don’t get enough sleep or good food or exposure to nature. And so we’re routinely using up more of our reserves than we are able to replenish. We’re chronically running a deficit. “It is genius to store energy,” says Johnson. He recommends creating a plan to save it up so that you always have more than enough to draw on when an unexpected opportunity arrives. The coming weeks will be an excellent time to make this a habit, Aries. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): In the course of your long life, I estimate you will come up with approximately 60,000 really good ideas. Some of these are small, like those that help you decide how to spend your weekend. Some are big ones, like those that reveal the best place for you to live. As your destiny unfolds, you go through phases when you have fewer good ideas than average, and other phases when you’re overflowing with them. The period you’re in right now is one of the latter. You are a fountain of bright notions, intuitive insights, and fresh perspectives. Take advantage of the abundance, Taurus. Solve as many riddles and dilemmas as you can. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): No one knows the scientific reasons why long-distance runners sometimes get a “second wind.” Nonetheless, such a thing exists. It allows athletes to resume their peak efforts after seemingly having reached a point of exhaustion. According to my reading of the astrological omens, a metaphorical version of this happy event will occur for you sometime soon, Gemini. You made a good beginning but have been flagging a bit of late. Any minute now, though, I expect you will get your second wind. CANCER (June 21-July 22): Thomas Gray was a renowned 18th-century English poet best remembered for his “Elegy Written in a Country Churchyard.” It was a short poem -- only 986 words, which is less than the length of this horoscope column. On the other hand, it took him seven years to write it, or an average of 12 words per month. I suspect that you are embarking on a labor of love that will evolve at a gradual pace, too, Cancerian. It might not occupy you for seven years, but it will probably take longer than you imagine. And yet, that’s exactly how long it should take. This is a character-building, life-defining project that can’t and shouldn’t be rushed.

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LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): The 18th-century German philosopher Georg Christoph Lichtenberg accepted the possibility that some humans have the power of clairvoyance. “The ‘second sight’ possessed by the Highlanders in Scotland is actually a foreknowledge of future events,” he wrote. “I believe they possess this gift because they don’t wear trousers. That is also why in all countries women are more prone to utter prophecies.” I bring this to your attention, Leo, because I believe that in the coming weeks you’re likely to catch accurate glimpses of what’s to come -- especially when you’re not wearing pants. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Were you nurtured well by caring adults in the first year of your life? If so, I bet you now have the capacity to fix whatever’s ailing your tribe or posse. You could offer some inspiration that will renew everyone’s motivation to work together. You might improve the group communication as you strengthen the foundation that supports you all. And what about if you were NOT given an abundance of tender love as a young child? I think you will still have the power to raise your crew’s mood, but you may end up kicking a few butts along the way. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Summing up his experiment in living at Walden Pond, naturalist Henry David Thoreau said this: “I learned that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours. He will pass an invisible boundary; new, uni-

versal, and more liberal laws will begin to establish themselves around and within him; or the old laws will be expanded, and interpreted in his favor in a more liberal sense, and he will live with the license of a higher order of beings.” Given the astrological factors that will be impacting your life in the next 12 months, Libra, you might consider adopting this philosophy as your own. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Thirteen thousand years ago, lions and mammoths and camels roamed parts of North America. But along with many other large beasts, they ultimately became extinct. Possible explanations for their demise include climate change and over-hunting by humans. In recent years a group of biologists has proposed a plan to repopulate the western part of the continent with similar species. They call their idea “re-wilding.” In the coming months, Scorpio, I suggest you consider a re-wilding program of your own. Cosmic forces will be on your side if you reinvigorate your connection to the raw, primal aspects of both your own nature and the great outdoors. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Who was Russia’s greatest poet? Many critics say it was Alexander Pushkin, who lived in the 19th century. His abundant creativity was undoubtedly related to his unruly libido. By the time he was 31 years old, he’d had 112 lovers. But then he met his ultimate muse, the lovely and intelligent Natalya Goncharova, to whom he remained faithful. “Without you,” he wrote to her, “I would have been unhappy all my life.” I half-expect something comparable to happen for you in the next ten months, Sagittarius. You may either find an unparalleled ally or else finally ripen your relationship with an unparalleled ally you’ve known for a while. One way or another, I bet you will commit yourself deeper and stronger. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): It’s Grease Week -- a time when you need to make sure everything is as well-oiled as possible. Does your car need a quart of Castrol? Is it time to bring more extra virgin olive oil into your kitchen? Do you have any K-Y Jelly in your nightstand, just in case? Are there creaky doors or stuck screws or squeaky wheels that could use some WD-40? Be liberal with the lubrication, Capricorn -- both literally and metaphorically. You need smooth procedures and natural transitions. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Two years into the War of 1812, British soldiers invaded Washington, D.C. They set fire to the White House and other government buildings. The flames raged out of control, spreading in all directions. The entire city was in danger of burning. In the nick of time, a fierce storm hit, producing a tornado and heavy rains. Most of the fires were extinguished. Battered by the weather, the British army retreated. America’s capital was saved. I predict that you, Aquarius, will soon be the beneficiary of a somewhat less dramatic example of this series of events. Give thanks for the “lucky storm.” PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Like the legendary Most Interesting Man in the World who shills for Dos Equis beer, you will never step in gum on the sidewalk or lose a sock in the coming weeks. Your cereal will never get soggy; it’ll sit there, staying crispy, just for you. The pheromones you secrete will affect people miles away. You’ll have the power to pop open a pinata with the blink of your eye. If you take a Rorschach test, you’ll ace it. Ghosts will sit around campfires telling stories about you. Cafes and restaurants may name sandwiches after you. If you so choose, you’ll be able to live vicariously through yourself. You will give your guardian angel a sense of security.

Homework

Where’s the place you’re half-afraid to travel to even though you know it would change your life for the better? Write Freewillastrology.com.

check out Rob Brezsny’s Expanded Weekly Audio Horoscopes & Daily Text Message Horoscopes

freewillastrology.com

The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at

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