40 18 willamette week, march 5, 2014 by Willamette Week Newspaper

P. 10

P. 23 P. 44

WILLAMETTE WEEK PORTLAND’S NEWSWEEKLY

“IT’S LIKE BEING DRUNK—BUT AWFUL.” P. 41

TOUCHDOWN TERRY CLACKAMAS COUNTY TYCOON TERRY EMMERT IS BRINGING PRO FOOTBALL PLAYERS TO PORTLAND. WHY?

WWEEK.COM

VOL 40/18 03.05.2014

BY AARON MESH | PAGE 12

CHRISTOPHER ONSTOTT

NEWS SILENCING A CRC CRITIC. HEADOUT VEGAN TAXIDERMY. ART PORTLAND2014 BIENNIAL.

Willamette Week MARCH 5, 2014 wweek.com

CONTENT

NEW CLASSIC: Nickâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Italian Cafe in McMinnville wins a big Beard award. Page 25.

NEWS

MUSIC

LEAD STORY

PERFORMANCE 41

CULTURE

MOVIES

FOOD & DRINK

CLASSIFIEDS

STAFF Editor-in-Chief Mark Zusman EDITORIAL Managing Editor for News Brent Walth Arts & Culture Editor Martin Cizmar Staff Writers Nigel Jaquiss, Aaron Mesh, Kate Willson Copy Chief Rob Fernas Copy Editors Matt Buckingham, Jessica Pedrosa Stage & Screen Editor Rebecca Jacobson Music Editor Matthew Singer Projects Editor Matthew Korfhage Books Penelope Bass Dance Aaron Spencer Theater Rebecca Jacobson Visual Arts Richard Speer Editorial Interns Kathryn Peifer, Savannah Wasserman, Brendan Welch

CONTRIBUTORS Emilee Booher, Ruth Brown, Nathan Carson, Rachel Graham Cody, Pete Cottell, Jordan Green, Jay Horton, AP Kryza, Nina Lary, Mitch Lillie, John Locanthi, Enid Spitz, Grace Stainback, Mark Stock, Michael C. Zusman PRODUCTION Production Manager Ben Kubany Art Director Kathleen Marie Graphic Designers Mitch Lillie, Amy Martin, Xel Moore, Dylan Serkin Production Interns Emma Browne, Will Corwin ADVERTISING Director of Advertising Scott Wagner Display Account Executives Maria Boyer, Ginger Craft, Michael Donhowe, Kevin Friedman, Janet Norman, Kyle Owens, Sharri Miller Regan, Andrew Shenker Classifieds Account Executive Matt Plambeck Advertising Assistant Ashley Grether Marketing & Events Manager Steph Barnhart Give!Guide Director Nick Johnson

Our mission: Provide Portlanders with an independent and irreverent understanding of how their worlds work so they can make a difference. Though Willamette Week is free, please take just one copy. Anyone removing papers in bulk from our distribution points will be prosecuted, as they say, to the full extent of the law. Willamette Week is published weekly by City of Roses Newspaper Company 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Main line phone: (503) 243-2122 fax: (503) 243-1115 Classifieds phone: (503) 223-1500 fax: (503) 223-0388

DISTRIBUTION Circulation Director Mark Kirchmeier WWEEK.COM Web Production Brian Panganiban Web Editor Matthew Korfhage MUSICFESTNW Executive Director Trevor Solomon Associate Director Matt Manza TECHFESTNW Program Director Lizzy Caston OPERATIONS Accounting Manager Chris Petryszak Credit & Collections Shawn Wolf Office Manager/Receptionist Sam Cusumano A/P Clerk Andrea Iannone Manager of Information Systems Brian Panganiban Associate Publisher Jane Smith Publisher Richard H. Meeker

Willamette Week welcomes freelance submissions. Send material to either News Editor or Arts Editor. Manuscripts will be returned if you include a self-addressed, stamped envelope. To be considered for calendar listings, notice of events must be received in writing by noon Wednesday, two weeks before publication. Send to Calendar Editor. Photographs should be clearly labeled and will be returned if accompanied by a selfaddressed, stamped envelope. Questions concerning circulation or subscription inquiries should be directed to Mark Kirchmeier at Willamette Week. Postmaster: Send all address changes to Willamette Week, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Subscription rates: One year $100, six months $50. Back issues $5 for walk-ins, $8 for mailed requests when available. Willamette Week is mailed at third-class rates.

This newspaper is published on recycled newsprint using soy-based ink.

Willamette Week MARCH 5, 2014 wweek.com

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Here we are on the verge of getting marriage equality in Oregon, and folks on our side of the aisle are taking shots at Basic Rights Oregon, arguably the most important state LGBTQ organization in the country [“Winning by Default,” WW, Feb. 26, 2014]. BRO’s leadership in 2004 was a step forward in moving the conversation around marriage, not unlike the work done in California during the same time. During the last decade, Oregon has been a testing ground for other states with its Marriage Matters campaign. In fact, when President Obama came out in support of the freedom to marry in May 2012, he used a message tested in Oregon under BRO’s leadership. The people quoted in this piece should be thanking BRO for its leadership, not taking shots when we are on the cusp of victory. —“Diane Goodwin” Basic Rights Oregon can cite all the metrics it wants, but here’s the principle that matters: Gay marriage is legal in other states, but banned in Oregon. No amount of cherry-picking and passion is going to change the fact that gay people can’t marry in Oregon. —“R Bonwell parker” As an LGBT person, the work that Basic Rights Oregon has done over the past decades has completely changed my life. Willamette Week, I’m sad that instead of acknowledging and celebrating the hard work of BRO volunteers, staff and supporters, you seek to drive a wedge in the progressive community.

I noticed all the interstate signs have been changed to direct people to Moda Center instead of the Rose Garden. Who paid for those new signs? Paul Allen or you and me? —A Diﬀerent Paul ’Tis the season for the Grouchy Taxpayer Nitpick. As Tax Day draws ever nearer, even good, squishy liberals become Tea Partiers for a day, ready to see waste, fraud and abuse in every government program. (It’s probably just as well we don’t have elections in mid-April, or the president of the United States would be named Santorum.) Still, I get your point. I have no love for antitax zealots (if they wanted my sympathy, they should have built a world where I make enough money to owe taxes), but no one wants to imagine that a portion of their tax bill is going directly into the ermine-lined pockets of the .0001 percent. Well, Different, I hope you’re sitting down, 4

Willamette Week MARCH 5, 2014 wweek.com

I am incredibly thankful for BRO and the thousands of people who have volunteered, donated and courageously stepped forward to build a world in which I can live happily and with dignity. —“Ellen”

INSTRUMENT THEFT IN PORTLAND

Indeed, stolen instruments suck [“Audio Jacked,” WW, Feb. 26, 2014]. I feel for any musician who has instruments stolen, as usually you develop an emotional attachment to the instrument you play. However, musicians, particularly touring musicians, should know that instrument insurance is available that covers damage and theft. It is good at the practice space, when on tour, and pretty much covers the replacement cost of your instruments. If you are hitting the road with $25,000 of gear, it makes a lot of sense to protect yourself financially from a theft (or an accident). —“Firegod”

CORRECTIONS

Last week’s story “Winning by Default” incorrectly stated that the Defense of Marriage Coalition filed its 2004 ballot measure the day Multnomah County began marrying gay couples. In fact, it was filed the day before. Accompanying the same story, a U.S. map highlighting the states that allow same-sex marriage misidentified Illinois. WW regrets the errors. LETTERS TO THE EDITOR must include the author’s street address and phone number for veriﬁcation. Letters must be 250 or fewer words. Submit to: 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Fax: (503) 243-1115. Email: mzusman@wweek.com.

because it turns out we did not pay for that signage. I mean, you and I wouldn’t have paid anyway, since I’m homeless and you’re in prison. But what I mean is that Moda Center picked up the tab—no taxpayers were harmed in the making of those signs. I’ll wait a moment for your little three-cornered hat to stop spinning comically six inches above your head, then I’ll explain. Freeway signage normally gets replaced every 15 years or so. If you’re willing to wait for the next scheduled sign replacement, you can get the new name of your mall, hospital or hockey rink posted for free. If you’re in a hurry, though, you can commission an engineering plan for new signage and submit it to the folks at the Oregon Department of Transportation. If it meets their standards, they and their approved contractors will work with you—on your dime—to make the change. QUESTIONS? Send them to dr.know@wweek.com

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CITY HALL: Retired fire official double-dips. HOUSING: Sussing out R2D2 relocation sites. MEDIA: The Oregonian silences CRC critic. COVER STORY: Big mover brings pro football to Portland.

7 8 10 12

DARRYL JAMES

NEWS HOTTER THAN A BATTLE RAPPER.

OREGON CONVENTION CENTER

Multnomah County Circuit Judge Eric Bloch on March 3 moved the proposed $200 million Hyatt Hotel adjacent to the Oregon Convention Center one large step closer to reality. Bloch blocked downtown hotelier Gordon Sondland and his allies, who object to the project’s $80 million subsidy, from putting the project to a public vote. Metro, which operates the Convention Center, hopes to finish negotiating a final agreement with Mortenson Development and Hyatt this spring and break ground early next year. “We are really excited to move forward,” says Andy Shaw, chief of staff to Metro Council President Tom Hughes. P E T E R H I AT T

One potential big winner from Mayor Charlie Hales’ announcement that he wants to rejigger the city’s urban renewal districts: Oregon Health & Science University and its drive to raise $500 million to match a Phil Knight challenge grant. Expanding the North Macadam district and using some of the $60 million in additional bonding capacity to benefit OHSU’s riverfront campus could help HALES OHSU. “We’re hoping to put a lot of money into infrastructure down there,” says Portland Development Commission executive director Patrick Quinton. “If it works out that way, we’d love to have it count as a match for OHSU.” Two Portland film-industry figures are battling in Multnomah County District Court. Stripper-zombie film producer Sean Skelding, owner of Portland-based Cheezy Flicks Entertainment, is being sued by one of his investors. Casey Nolan filed suit last week seeking money he says Skelding owes him for the production of I Am Virgin and Stripperland. Skelding undertook the projects without enough cash to pay contractors, Nolan claims. Stripperland, a 2011 zombie horror-comedy, featured actor Daniel Baldwin rapping a song called “Club Life.” Neither Skelding nor Nolan was available for comment. Rick Gustafson is retiring as executive director and chief operating officer of Portland Streetcar Inc. Gustafson, 67, has overseen the nonprofit that runs the city’s streetcar for all 12 years of its operation. “The job is bigger,” he tells WW, “and I’m slower.” Read more Murmurs and daily scuttlebutt. 6

Willamette Week MARCH 5, 2014 wweek.com

NEWS

GOT A GOOD TIP? CALL 503.445.1542, OR EMAIL NEWSHOUND@WWEEK.COM

GETTING TOTALLY HOSED A RETIRED FIRE BUREAU OFFICIAL IS STILL DOING HIS FORMER JOB—BUT HE’S GETTING PAID TWICE. By nig e l jaq ui ss

njaquiss@wweek.com

When Mark Schmidt retired from Portland Fire & Rescue in June 2012, shortly after picking up his 35-year pin, he didn’t actually go anywhere. In fact, although Schmidt began collecting a $132,812 annual pension upon retirement, he returned to work immediately in a position newly created by his longtime colleague, then-Fire Chief John Klum. Schmidt’s new duties included most of his old duties. But now he’s getting paid twice to do the same work—at a total cost to city taxpayers of $272,514 a year. Firefighters protect their pay and benefits nearly as zealously as they protect public safety, but even the union is calling foul on Schmidt’s gig. “It seems contradictory to what we’re trying to do as a bureau,” says Lt. Alan Ferschweiler, president of the Portland Firefighters Association. “If we could have a firefighter in that position instead of a retiree, that would get another person working.” As the city draws up its 2014-15 budget, no bureau has more riding on the outcome of this year’s allocation of city resources than Portland Fire & Rescue. Mayor Charlie Hales campaigned on bringing fiscal discipline to a bureau that for a decade enjoyed the protection of then-City Commissioner Randy Leonard, a retired

firefighter. Last year, in the first budget after Leonard’s retirement, the city announced a previously unthinkable move—that 26 firefighters would lose their jobs due to budget cuts. Yet those cuts never happened. In December, the bureau secured a federal grant that preserved all 26 positions for two years. Now, the bureau wants to restore those positions permanently and add three positions. Fire Chief Erin Janssens’ success in securing that funding depends on her ability to convince the City Council that her embrace of reforms—such as sending two-person SUVs rather than four-person fire rigs on routine medical calls—is more indicative of the bureau’s culture than Schmidt’s double-dipping. Prior to his retirement, Schmidt, 59, rose to division chief, the bureau’s second-highest rank, topping out at an annual salary of $145,745. His primary focus in his final years was to integrate a new radio, dispatch and recordkeeping system the fire bureau had purchased with a $72 million bond measure voters passed in 2010. As Schmidt moved toward turning in his helmet in spring 2012, Klum sought an exception to a hiring freeze the city then had in place. Klum received permission to create a new position that would report directly to him. The job required deep knowledge of the fire bureau and specific expertise with the bureau’s communication and record-keeping systems. “It is crucial that PF&R maintain a single point of contact with the background and expertise to make high-level decisions,” Klum wrote in a letter dated April 17, 2012.

The job opening was posted citywide, but there was only one applicant—Mark Schmidt. Schmidt retired as a sworn officer in June 2012 and immediately returned as a civilian employee. He benefited from reforms intended to reduce the expense of the Fire and Police Disability and Retirement system by gradually ending that system and placing new employees in the state’s Public Employee Retirement System. Because Schmidt was retiring from one system and joining another, he could double-dip, earning a second paycheck and full medical and pension benefits. Schmidt effectively created that opportunity for himself by failing to train a replacement to implement the bond-funded projects. He says the bond work was more complex than anticipated. “I didn’t have the experience of managing a project like this,” Schmidt says, “so I became the technical person myself.” Schmidt denies that his friendship with Klum had anything to do with his getting the retirement job. He says if maximizing earnings was his goal, he would have retired from Portland after 30 years and taken a job with another metro-area agency. “If I’d wanted to, I’d already be vested on a second pension,” Schmidt says. Janssens, Schmidt’s boss, defends him but not the events that led to his current position. “Mark does bring an enormous expertise to a high-profile project,” Janssens says. “But since I’ve become chief, succession planning is something we’ve worked really hard to address.” Fire Commissioner Dan Saltzman’s bureau liaison, Matt Grumm, says Saltzman only recently learned about Schmidt’s double-dipping. “This situation is a vestige of the past that Dan would not have approved if he’d been in charge of the bureau,” Grumm says. “And it will not happen in the future.” Willamette Week MARCH 5, 2014 wweek.com

NEWS

HOUSING

1 2

2439 NW 22nd Ave. Assessed value: $499,000

Current use: Pipe storage lot for the Bureau of Environmental Services (the city’s sewer department).

NE BROADWAY

Neighbors: Furniture boutique Schoolhouse Electric Co. and an electric transmission substation. Best feature: It’s a property the city already owns, and it’s not in a residential neighborhood.

405 NW LOVEJOY

2310 N Albina Ave. Asking price: $4,000 a month

Current use: Gravel parking lot.

D LV

Neighbors: Chemical supply company Tarr LLC and cabinet carpenter ECOpdx. Best feature: One block from MAX Yellow Line, oﬀering quick access to downtown social services.

Current site

YB ND

E BURNSIDE

W BURNSIDE

686 N Russell St. Asking price: $260,000 Current use: Grassy lot. SE BELMONT

Neighbors: Widmer Brothers Brewing Company, Tarr LLC and cocktail bar Mint/820. Best feature: MAX access— and the area has limited redevelopment potential. Other proposed sites are shown in red.

CAMPING TRIP CITY HALL IS LOOKING AT 21 NEW SITES FOR A HOMELESS CAMP. BUT ONLY A FEW OPTIONS ARE SERIOUS. BY AA RO N M E S H

amesh@wweek.com

Finding a dream home for a homeless camp is an unusual assignment for commercial real-estate broker Cushman & Wakefield. But as the company helps Portland City Hall pick possible locations to move Right 2 Dream Too, it’s using an evergreen technique from the salesman’s playbook: 8

Willamette Week MARCH 5, 2014 wweek.com

Excite the buyer with unrealistic options. As first reported Feb. 26 on wweek. com, the city and its broker have revealed a list of 21 possible sites for the camp, after Portland officials pledged Feb. 17 to give camp leaders $846,000 to move out of Old Town/Chinatown. The list shows possible locations ranging from the inner east side all the way to Milwaukie.

But like a Realtor showing a burger flipper a Dunthorpe mansion, Cushman & Wakefield has dangled properties that are beyond Right 2 Dream Too’s reach. Some cost more than the city’s pledged price tag, and others are outside the camp’s stated perimeter of 1.5 miles from City Hall. Many sites are located next to businesses sure to complain—such as the hip Jupiter Hotel on East Burnside Street or the Ocean, a trendy mini-restaurant complex at Northeast 24th Avenue and Glisan Street—or are uninhabitable. (An empty lot at 110 SW Arthur St. is the site of a former gas station with leaking tanks, and is still listed as an active clean-up site by the Oregon Department of Environmental Quality.) In fact, sources inside City Hall say as few as four locations are actually being considered. Other observers wonder if

Portland is seriously looking at potential sites. Marshall Runkel, who as an aide to then-City Commissioner Erik Sten was tasked with finding a site for Dignity Village, says that was the toughest assignment in his eight-year City Hall career. Runkel recalls a public meeting when the city identified a site next to the Safari strip club at Southeast Powell Boulevard and 30th Avenue. “It was easily the worst public meeting I’ve ever been to,” he says. “People are really afraid about having a large homeless camp near them. That fear is really powerful.” City insiders and local real-estate appraisers say the above three sites offer the most realistic place for Right 2 Dream Too to lay its head.

Willamette Week MARCH 5, 2014 wweek.com

NEWS

MEDIA

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AN OREGONIAN EDITORIAL COLUMNIST BASHED THE CRC TOO MANY TIMES. NOW HE’S AN EX-COLUMNIST. BY N IGEL JAQU IS S AND

AARON MESH

243-2122

While a bill to revive the Columbia River Crossing clings to life in the Legislature, Brendan Monaghan’s brief career as an editorial columnist for The Oregonian is over—and it’s hard to escape the conclusion that his opposition to the CRC is the reason. Monaghan, 29, started writing a twicemonthly, right-leaning column for the daily in August 2012. He was a contractor, not an employee, and was thus free to take other work. He agreed to run other contracts past Oregonian editorial page editor Erik Lukens before taking them. And he did. But last month, Lukens abruptly canceled Monaghan’s column, citing a conflict of interest that emails show Lukens had known about for more than a year: a consulting job Monaghan held for a conservative group opposing the CRC. Back in January 2013, Monaghan emailed Lukens, seeking permission to contract with Leona Consulting, a new company founded by GOP political consultant Lindsay Berschauer. “Berschauer is leaving the Oregon Transformation Project and is starting her own consulting firm,” Monaghan wrote in an email to Lukens on Jan. 22, 2013. “She wants me to research and produce weekly ‘Flashfacts’ and do related social media/video work. Can I take the job?” “That should be fine,” Lukens replied the next day. “I don’t see any problems.” Berschauer’s firm began working against the CRC, placing highway billboards and hiring a lobbyist to work the 2013 legislative session. Monaghan also took aim at the project. He wrote “Unhappiness on All Sides” (Feb. 14, 2013), on the eve of Oregon lawmakers’ vote 10

Willamette Week MARCH 5, 2014 wweek.com

BRENDAN MONAGHAN

to fund the CRC, and “Requiem for a Boondoggle” (July 4, 2013), after the Washington Legislature declined to match Oregon’s $450 million appropriation for the project. Those editorials were no match for the unceasing flow of pro-CRC pieces Lukens’ team produced for The Oregonian. Following the Washington Legislature’s refusal to fund the CRC last summer, Gov. John Kitzhaber cooked up an Oregon-only project, with a slimmed-down price tag of $2.8 billion. In a Feb. 13 column in The Oregonian, Monaghan touched on the question of whether Oregon lawmakers would vote to proceed with the CRC in their February session, referring to the project as “a potential $2.8 billion present from Salem” to Washington Gov. Jay Inslee. That would be Monaghan’s last word on the CRC in the pages of the state’s largest newspaper. On Feb. 17, Lukens emailed Monaghan, asking about his political consulting work. Monaghan says he told Lukens his objections to the CRC predated his writing for The Oregonian and the creation of Berschauer’s company. “My opinions on the CRC are my own, and I arrived at them through a variety of publicly available sources,” he tells WW. Lukens didn’t buy that. “The problem isn’t that you worked for Leona, which would have been OK if you had avoided writing columns about matters in which Leona was involved,” Lukens wrote to Monaghan in a Feb. 18 email. “The particular problem I see here is that you wrote numerous columns about the CRC, for which we paid you, during the very same period in which Leona was being paid to oppose the CRC.” Monaghan replied via email that Berschauer never asked him to write about the CRC and that he valued his Oregonian column more than his Leona contract. That did not sway Lukens. “After giving this a lot of thought, I’ve decided that we’re going to stop using your column,” Lukens wrote Feb. 18. Lukens declined to comment on the decision to end Monaghan’s column. “I can tell you that it’s not as stated,” he told WW. “Beyond that, I’m really not going to talk about it.” Monaghan says he was “shocked” by Lukens’ decision, because he felt he’d been transparent in seeking permission to work for Berschauer and had never been told there was a problem. He suspects CRC advocates did him in. “Who would have wanted me fired?” Monaghan says. “It’s a little bit like ‘who shot J.R.?’ It could have been anybody who supports the CRC. That’s a lot of people.”

Willamette Week MARCH 5, 2014 wweek.com

TOUCHDOWN TERRY CLACKAMAS COUNTY TYCOON TERRY EMMERT IS BRINGING PRO FOOTBALL PLAYERS TO PORTLAND. WHY? By AA ron mes h

ph otos By c hr istophe r on stot t

he kingdom of Terry Emmert is easy to miss from Oregon Route 212. A state highway that wears its sprawl as proudly as a new Carhartt jacket, 212 stretches east from Interstate 205 to Boring, slicing through Clackamas County with a trail of fast-food restaurants, a Fred Meyer distribution center and a barn-sized porn shop next to a motel. On the north side of 212, adjacent to a pool-supply store, is the world headquarters of Emmert International: 30 acres of warehouses, trucks and beefy red metal drums. At the entrance is an empty guard shack with a large blue sign: “EXPECT EXCELLENCE.” The cluttered campus is also the nerve center of Oregon’s newest pro sports franchise, an arena football team called the Portland Thunder. Dozens of buildings are randomly plopped down on the land, a ghost town of structures Emmert has moved here and offers for sale. Over the years, this has included duplexes from a Portland public-housing project, a gas station, even a bank with a drive-thru teller window.

Willamette Week MARCH 5, 2014 wweek.com

Emmert’s office is on the second floor of a sprawling wood building. The ceiling in the front stairwell is painted gold. In the lobby, next to a wall of tennis awards, a television plays a loop of video highlights of the company’s rigging and hauling projects. Emmert has relocated mammoth objects: the world’s largest wooden airplane, a huge magnet and a 340-ton granite boulder. Emmert is the Dog the Bounty Hunter of moving stuff. If you have a building, a telescope, a power-plant generator or a statue, and you want it moved though everyone says it can’t be done, you call Emmert. (See “Scoring Drives,” page 17.) In the hallway is a laminated 2006 article from American Cranes & Transport magazine. “If there were a five-tool player in business, Terry Emmert would definitely fall into the category,” the story begins. “Emmert makes the most of every day, dedicating a portion of his expertise, wit, charm, empathy and heart to people and efforts he deems important. In baseball terms, Emmert bats a 1,000.” His desk is invisible under a sea of papers. The walls are filled with photos of Emmert posing next to luminaries: Bill Clinton, Newt Gingrich, Neil Goldschmidt. On a recent afternoon, Emmert was on the phone talking to a potential client in Texas. cont. on page 14

Willamette Week MARCH 5, 2014 wweek.com

TOUCHDOWN TERRY

cont.

IN FOR THE LONG HAUL: The world headquarters of Emmert International in Clackamas is also a storage lot for I-beams used to move huge objects.

BUFFALO BILLS: Emmert offers visitors a care package of meat products made from his herd of water buffalo, including pepperoni sticks, jerky and ground meat.

THUNDERSTRUCK: Helmets arrived at the Portland Thunder front office days before training camp began on Feb. 22.

“the only reason i bought that slaughterhouse is that it has a 2,000-pound incinerator. and you can fit 10 200-pound attorneys at a time.” —terry emmert “One of my best friends is from down there,” he says. “You follow the NBA for a while? Well, he’s Clyde Drexler.” Emmert then mentioned the golf handicap of the former Trail Blazers star, and added, “I’m his white caddy.” It would be fair to call Emmert a tycoon, if one of the definitions of tycoon is a 69-year-old with a puckish sense of humor, a willingness to sue just about anyone (including his own former attorney) and an ability to succeed where others have failed. “He didn’t have to go to college to have some professor teach him the words ‘vertically integrated,’” says Ken C. Bauman, a former assistant United States district attorney who has known Emmert for more than 50 years—and now serves as his attorney. “He learned the concept in the real world.” The son and grandson of Portland plumbers, Emmert started buying homes in the path of the proposed Mount Hood Freeway shortly after graduating from Central Catholic High School in 1962. He quickly realized he could make more money hauling away the buildings—so 14

Willamette Week MARCH 5, 2014 wweek.com

he bought a house-moving company. His company now has offices in Texas, because oil and gas companies need to move big objects. State court documents in a 2007 case pegged Emmert’s personal net worth then at $160 million. He owns two tennis clubs, 22 cars, a hotel and a fivebedroom beachfront vacation home in Mazatlán, Mexico. He has eight ranches. “From what I can tell, he seems to have a preference for dirt—buying and selling land,” says state Rep. Brent Barton (D-Oregon City). Emmert hosts annual barbecues that are among Clackamas County’s hottest Republican social tickets— one year, he boiled 150 pounds of octopus for his guests. Divorced, with a girlfriend 30 years his junior, Emmert has recruited his children to manage his businesses: son Terry Michael Emmert is vice president of Emmert International, and daughter Christine Vessey runs Clackamas River Racquet Club. He owns a herd of more than 400 water buffalo on ranches outside Oregon City, as well as a slaughterhouse

and meat-packing plant in Sandy. “The only reason I bought that slaughterhouse,” Emmert has been known to say, “is that it has a 2,000pound incinerator. And you can fit 10 200-pound attorneys at a time.” “He really is a renaissance man,” says Clackamas County Commissioner Tootie Smith. “I can’t remember all of his businesses, to be honest with you.” And now, at a time when most men would be ready to ease into retirement at the Mexican beach house, Emmert has decided to take on a new project: bringing professional football to Portland. He’s not buying an NFL franchise but rather the sawed-off version: an arena football team. The Thunder will be to the Seattle Seahawks what a Dotty’s Deli is to the Bellagio, or what a karaoke singer is to Bruce Springsteen. Which raises the question: What makes Terry run? cont. on page 16

All events are free unless otherwise noted. Parking is free after 7 p.m. and all day on weekends.

$5 OFF HEELS THROUGH MARCH

March 7-9, 14-16 2 p.m. on Sundays, 7:30 p.m. all other days Fir Acres Main Stage Theatre

March 13-16 11 a.m.-4 p.m. Hoffman Gallery of Contemporary Art

33RD ANNUAL GENDER STUDIES SYMPOSIUM

Gender/Power/Space Join us for workshops, panel discussions, performances, and other events exploring the relationship between where we are and who we are. For a full schedule, visit go.lclark.edu/gendsymp. PERFORMANCE

As You Like It This production of Shakespeare’s pastoral romp through the forest of Arden will use music, dance, and a physical relationship to text to reimagine Shakespeare for a contemporary audience. Call 503-768-7495 for tickets ($7-$10). POP-UP EXHIBITION

Linocut Prints for The Osage Orange Tree See Dennis Cunningham’s 25 original linocuts for William Stafford’s The Osage Orange Tree. Opening reception is March 13 from 5 to 7 p.m. Cunningham will give a gallery talk on March 16 at 2 p.m.

March 15 9 a.m.-4 p.m. Agnes Flanagan Chapel

SYMPOSIUM

You Must Revise Your Life— Stafford at 100 This symposium will celebrate William Stafford’s life through panels, poetry readings, and exhibits. Featured speakers include Lewis & Clark faculty and alumni such as Kim Stafford, Mary Szybist, and Primus St. John. Advance registration is required at go.lclark.edu/stafford_symposium.

March 15 1-5 p.m. First Unitarian Church, Fuller Hall, 1211 S.W. Main Street

COMMUNITY FORUM

Confronting Climate Change Participants will engage in small-group discussions about climate change to be more effective in their actions. Advance registration is required at go.lclark. edu/community/forum/graduate.

March 16 Noon Gregg Pavilion

PERFORMANCE

March 16 4 p.m. Agnes Flanagan Chapel

PERFORMANCE

New Chamber Music at Noon Friends of Rain, Lewis & Clark’s faculty new music chamber ensemble, presents a program featuring works by Mischa Zupko, Brandon Becker, James Harley, Bonnie Miksch, and Michael Johanson. Tickets cost $5-$10.

I choose

Aldo Abreu Lewis & Clark College and Portland Chamber Orchestra present Aldo Abreu in Concert: A Solo Recorder Recital in Honor of Members of the Portland Little Chamber Orchestra.

www.lclark.edu

Lewis & Clark 0615 S.W. Palatine Hill Road Portland, Oregon 97219

Send a photo showcasing Bushmills or Bushmills Honey in a Portland-centric photograph! The winning photograph will be featured in a Bushmills advertisement in the March 19th issue of Wilamette Week. 70,000 issues of fame! Follow @willametteweek to see who wins. Use #wwbushmillspdx to enter! Willamette Week MARCH 5, 2014 wweek.com

TOUCHDOWN TERRY

cont.

t’s clear that Emmert likes a fight. His court record is littered with lawsuits, fines and penalties. The state of Oregon has fined him for allowing his water buffalo to defecate in a creek that feeds into a salmon and steelhead habitat. Emmert paid the fine, but maintains the fecal pollution was left by 3,000 Canada geese. In 2007, his business partners in a Washington County development deal sued him for letting the bank foreclose on their land, then buying it out from under them. That case is still in court; Emmert says it has no merit. Two years earlier, Emmert settled a lawsuit alleging he and his partners bought a house that had been used as a meth lab, didn’t clean it up, then rented it to a single mother and two children. Emmert says it wasn’t a meth lab, and the renters were suing to get his insurance money. One of his in-house attorneys sued him for sexual discrimination—he countersued, and the case is on appeal. Another employee gave a sworn statement that Emmert once fired a secretary because her younger replacement “will really give us something to look at.” (He denies any gender discrimination.) Another Emmert employee, Michele Matesi, told Clackamas County Sheriff ’s detectives in 2001 that Emmert pointed a silver revolver at her face and threatened to kill her. Matesi later told detectives she made up the story. She’s still working for Emmert. “I don’t own a silver revolver,” he says. Emmert is not always the defendant. He is often the plaintiff. Last year, he sued Clackamas County for $40 million, alleging the county conspired to break promises and keep him from using his land while buying his property for a highway project. “I love the Texas attitude,” Emmert tells a potential Houston client over the phone. “‘How can we help you to get it done?’ As opposed to the rest of the country, which is, ‘How can we stop you?’” “He’d die in four or five months,” says Bauman, “if he didn’t have deals to make.” Outside Clackamas County and Texas, Emmert is far less well-known. But he’s got a plan to change that.

DUCK TALES: Quarterback Darron Thomas (1), who played for the University of Oregon, remains hugely popular in Portland, getting the loudest cheer at a recent Trail Blazers game.

mmert landed an Arena Football League team in a characteristic way: He moved it. He paid an undisclosed amount (Emmert confirms it was a $4 million to $8 million investment) in October for the rights to the Milwaukee Mustangs, a Wisconsin team that folded in 2012. The deal came with the Mustangs’ artificial turf, which Emmert will roll into Moda Center for the Portland Thunder’s March 17 opener against the San Jose SaberCats. Thunder headquarters are in a warehouse a block west of Emmert’s office in Clackamas. On Feb. 21, as players began to arrive for training camp, the locker room was still being used as a storage facility for Emmert’s collection of vintage basketball courts. Emmert owns 13 basketball arena floors, including the Miami Heat court from Dwyane Wade’s 2006 NBA title season. He keeps track of how many courts other sports owners have amassed. “I have a lot of respect for Paul Allen,” Emmert says of the Microsoft co-founder and Blazers owner. “I’ll give him credit for four. We just happen to have 13.” Emmert cultivates the grizzled swagger of an aging gunslinger—if that desperado wore basketball warm-up tracksuits. He’s tan, with a salt-and-pepper mustache and what looks like a badger pelt perched on his head. He declines to say whether it’s a toupee, and is reluctant talk about how much he paid for anything. Instead, he spins tales of outwitting labor unions and flying on the Blazers jet, interrupting himself to take phone calls and call out orders to his personal assistant. It’s a standup comedy act, performed sitting down. As 16

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WHISTLE-BLOWER: Matthew Sauk, 37, is getting his first head-coaching gig with the Thunder. He won an Arena Bowl in 2010 as offensive coordinator for the Spokane Shock.

he finishes each story, he leans forward on his elbows— like a granddad about to pull a quarter out of your nose. He makes a quip. Then he winks. Emmert’s office, which looks like it hasn’t been tidied since the Reagan administration, has the bustle of a train station. Visitors and supplicants shuffle in and out, seeking an audience. Emmert has thrown himself into the details of owning a team that most sports moguls would delegate. He recently met with Legacy Health to discuss player health care, and with Michael’s Italian Beef and Sausage Co. for a food deal. Two weeks ago, he was in his office with the president of a local hand-chalk company who brought a cloth satchel filled with sweet-smelling chalk dust. Emmert took a pinch of the powder, gripped a football, tossed the ball from hand to hand, and sniffed. The executive explained the chalk contains essential oils, including cinnamon and lavender: “The athletes say they find it invigorating.” “Oh, that’s great,” Emmert replied, raising an eyebrow.

“Somebody out there will be going”—he raises a finger to his nose and snorts three times, like he’s doing bumps of cocaine.

mmert has attended only one NFL game. He finds it dull—not enough offense. (Arena football is played on a 50-yard field, half the length of NFL turf, and there are no sidelines.) “I like scoring,” he says. “You don’t see a lot of young men that go into a nightclub who don’t want to score.” Emmert has scratched around the fringes of professional sports for a quarter century. In 1991, he began sponsoring a flag-football team in the Portland 7-Man Football League; it competed in the 1993 national tournament in Las Vegas. He diversified into owning sports facilities, including the Eastmoreland Racquet Club, a tennis club in one of Portland’s poshest neighborhoods. In 2005, he repurposed one of the club’s tennis courts as the home court for the Portland Chinooks, the International Basketball League team he owns.

HOME COOKING: Defensive back Bryce Peila prepares for a scrimmage. He played at Western Oregon University—one of eight Thunder prospects to play college football in-state.

Neighbors complained to City Hall, accusing Emmert of emptying the club’s swimming pool into nearby Johnson Creek. Emmert had the last laugh: He turned all the indoor tennis courts into a basketball facility in 2012. The Chinooks weren’t the only pro basketball team Emmert has tried to purchase. He funded the short-lived Portland Reign of the American Basketball Association; made a $3 million bid with Drexler in 2002 for Portland’s WNBA team, the Fire; and teamed with Drexler again in 2006 to try to get Paul Allen to sell them the Trail Blazers. Emmert is fond of telling stories about his adventures with former Blazer players. He calls the late power forward Maurice Lucas “the best of friends,” and recounts their horseback rides on Emmert’s ranch. “The old saw, ‘I’ve got a lot of black friends,’ is not just a saw with Terry,” says Bauman. “He really enjoys being around athletes and athletic events. These guys truly are his friends.” Now Emmert has a new wingman: Darron Thomas.

SCORING DRIVES: A FEW OF EMMERT INTERNATIONAL’S MOST PROMINENT MOVING JOBS 1985: Hauls the 87-year-old Fairmount Hotel nearly a mile through downtown San Antonio. The move makes national television—and Emmert’s theatrical additions include getting a priest, a rabbi and a minister to bless the 1,650-ton hotel beforehand. 1993: Moves the Spruce Goose, Howard Hughes’ 800,000-pound wooden seaplane, seven miles from the Willamette River to an aviation museum in McMinnville. 2003: Relocates the 37-foot-tall Paul Bunyan statue in Portland’s Kenton neighborhood to make room for the MAX light-rail tracks. 2012: Transports four coke-drum “megaloads” from Idaho to Montana on their way to the Alberta tar sands, Canada’s controversial oil-mining project. 2013: Spends two months hauling the Muon g-2 ring—a 50-foot-wide magnet—from New York to Illinois, where it is currently being used with a particle accelerator to study dark matter.

CONT. on page 18 Willamette Week MARCH 5, 2014 wweek.com

TOUCHDOWN TERRY

CONT.

SNAP COUNTDOWN: Portland Thunder training camp is being held at Tualatin Indoor Soccer, a 17-mile drive from Emmert International.

Thomas, who is competing to become the Thunder’s starting quarterback, was a star at the University of Oregon—in the 2010 season, he took the Ducks to the national championship game. Thomas entered the NFL draft two years ago, but no team picked him. He hasn’t played in a game since. “If he could be good,” says Dwight Jaynes, a commentator for CSN Northwest, “some of those Ducks fans are going to wander through the door.” Emmert takes Thomas with him everywhere—including to political and nonprofit fundraisers—and calls him “a member of the family.” On a chilly night last month, he brought the quarterback to a downtown Portland movie screening. The film, Levitated Mass, was a documentary by director Doug Pray about Emmert International moving a granite boulder 115 miles to become part of a Los Angeles art installation. The 88-minute movie ponders the meaning of modern art while tracing the rock’s march westward. What did Thomas think of the picture? “I’m kind of a comedy guy,” he said. After the movie, Emmert took Thomas and his entou18

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rage to Ruth’s Chris Steak House to celebrate the 50th birthday of Emmert’s son, Terry Michael. Thomas sat stiffly as Emmert International executives pressed him for stories about Ducks games and the rules of the arena league. “It’s still football,” he said softly. They urged him to talk about how Emmert hopes to augment the Moda Center concession stands with pepperoni sticks made from his herd of water buffalo. “They call them Thunder Sticks,” said Thomas,smiling skeptically. “They’re going to sell them at the game.” Terry Michael interrupted: “No, it’s Thunder Dicks!” He and a fellow executive laughed so hard they cried. As the party died down, Emmert requested a foil bag of steak bones to take home to his German shepherd, Baron.

eadow Lemon watched last week in the musty confines of a Tualatin indoor soccer center as the older brother of Blazers AllStar guard Damian Lillard fumbled snaps to the tune of Madonna’s “Ray of Light.”

Lemon is the Thunder’s general manager. He wears three-piece suits and was an assistant coach for the football teams at Lewis & Clark and Linfield colleges. He’s the son of Meadowlark Lemon, the former “Clown Prince” of the Harlem Globetrotters—and his phone ringtone whistles “Sweet Georgia Brown,” the Globetrotters’ theme song. He says Emmert inspires him. “This man moves things that other people say are impossible,” Lemon says. “That’s who I want to be around.” Houston Lillard is among 40 players at Thunder training camp. The players are staying at a Days Inn in Clackamas, then traveling 30 minutes by van each morning to Tualatin Indoor Soccer. The speakers blare dated pop music, and the walls around the soccer field are covered with padding for the players to crash into—which they do whenever a pass is overthrown. This is pro football—but barely. The players are competing for 24 roster spots—and a paycheck of $830 per game. That number, a result of a hard-fought collective

LACES OUT: The Arena Football League recently inked a deal with ESPN to air 10 games a year on its cable channels.

NO SIDELINES: An arena football player is not counted as out of bounds unless he is pushed into or falls over the sideline barrier.

bargaining agreement, translates to an annual salary of $14,940 before taxes. The sport’s finances are nearly as shaky. The Arena Football League was a gaudy almost-craze in the late 1990s, when the NFL invested—and when the Portland Forest Dragons played for three years in the Rose Garden to an average home attendance of 8,914. The AFL filed for bankruptcy in 2009, canceling the season, and re-emerged the next year to shrinking crowds. The new structure of the AFL means Emmert didn’t actually buy the Portland Thunder—he bought a share in the league, which owns rights to the players. The ownership pool includes face-painted rockers Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley, who are starting a team called the Los Angeles Kiss. Football has become a monolithic part of American culture—just witness the pompous grandeur of the NFL, or Phil Knight-funded Death Star-style locker rooms at the University of Oregon. Arena football has its nose firmly pressed against the glass of the bright lights of big-time football. The players

are risking their long-term health for little more than they could make tending bar to keep their dreams alive, to stand in the faint warmth at the edges of the NFL’s intoxicating glow. And the Thunder’s owner? It doesn’t take much time in Emmert’s presence to understand he feels, for all his accomplishments, underappreciated. Every poster and advertisement for the team features a giant picture of Thomas—and a smaller glamour shot of Emmert. He wouldn’t be the first mogul who used a sports franchise to turn the spotlight on himself, or the first who was a jock-sniffer who enjoys basking in the presence of younger, fitter men. Emmert views it quite differently. “If I was producing movies, it wouldn’t be because I wanted to hang around with the best-looking female star,” Emmert says. “I like to build a group that can work together. “I got the biggest kick out of taking a home that’s got broken windows and a bad roof, taking that sow’s ear, and making it a nice home. It’s no different than building a winning team. It’s all building.”

THE GLOBETROTTER: Thunder general manager Meadow Lemon watches training camp. “The city expects great things from you guys,” he tells players.

On the first night of training camp, three weeks before the March 17 home opener, the players trying out for the Thunder got a meal at Moda Center—and some pointers on proper behavior. The dinner was hot dogs, pasta, potato salad and popcorn, all served in the plush Rose Room. Meadow Lemon delivered the lecture. “You guys stood right outside my office and cussed,” Lemon said. “It burned my ears. If you think you’re here just to play football, you’re missing it.” He said he overheard one athlete make a crude remark to a female Moda Center server, who left because she was so offended. “If you do something to embarrass the Portland Thunder, there’s not going to be a lot of discussion,” he said. “You’re going to be ex-Portland Thunder.” Lemon stared at a room of silent faces. “I want you guys to remember,” he said, “you’re representing Terry Emmert.”

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WILLAMETTE WEEK’S

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FOOD: Nick’s Italian Cafe gets a Beard. BAR REVIEW: Luchador just wearing a mask. DANCE: Butoh to Lou Reed’s Metal Machine Music. MOVIES: Fart noises and flowers.

Are You Psychic?

25 36 42 47

Or Can You View Things Remotely?

SCOOP LET’S SWARM MIKE REESE’S BAND’S NEXT SHOW.

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us today at 971-338-0563.

CROWD CONTROL: Portland rapper Illmaculate stormed out of his own headlining show March 1 at the Blue Monk in Southeast Portland in protest over police presence at the gig. Officers, including members of the gang enforcement team, converged on the Belmont Street club after a call from the fire marshal reporting the venue was overcrowded. Police blocked off the street and barred attendees, including members of Illmaculate’s entourage, from re-entering the venue, while about a dozen officers entered the club, taking photos and “creating an atmosphere of tension,” Illmaculate—whose real name is Gregory Poe—tells WW. After opening sets from Luck-One and Mikey Vegaz, Poe took the stage to announce he would not perform. According to the police report of the ILLMACULATE incident, officers estimated the venue was over capacity by approximately 35 occupants and stated that “our goal was to merely get the basement crowd to a safe number,” not shut down the show. Later, Poe, who is African-American, declared on Twitter that he “will not perform in this city” as long as “black culture” is a target of law enforcement. BELLY UP: North Portland bar the Foggy Notion will be on the small screen this summer. The Lombard Street dive was the site of a television shoot March 2. The owners are under a confidentiality agreement to not reveal the name of the TV show, but sources outside the bar told WW that it’s Belly Up!, the Cooking Channel show that reinvents bar-food menus. “If people come to the bar, they will see that changes were made, but we are under strict confidentiality agreement not to talk about what they are or why they were made,” says co-owner Kevin Scullin. He also asked Foggy Notion patrons not to badger the bar staff, which has been instructed not to comment when asked about the TV show. NEW MILLENNIUM: Music Millennium, the long-standing East Burnside Street record store, is planning a remodel to give the 45-year-old institution a new cafe. The store is running a Kickstarter campaign to raise funds to install a coffee, beer and wine bar in the shop, and much of the $60,000 fundraising effort will go toward repairing the leaky roof. If the campaign is successful, construction is scheduled to begin in May and be completed by the end of summer. “It’s been very humbling to see the outreach and support in the community,” says owner Terry Currier. “It’s been an amazing first four days.” SEATTLE STRIKES BACK: Portland’s reputation as the best coffee city in the country may be in jeopardy, after our baristas failed to take home a single title at the North West Regional Barista Competition and Brewers Cup on Feb. 23. More embarrassingly, both contests were dominated by Washington baristas. The best Portland performer was Corey Critchfield from Case Study Coffee, who placed third in the barista competition, behind two Seattle competitors. In the Brewers Cup, no Portland barista reached the final round, though the Beaver State was at least represented by Lisa Halcom from Gladstone’s Happyrock Coffee, who placed sixth. The results may say more about our caffeine slingers’ thriftiness than talent, however: The annual regional competition had previously been held in Tacoma, but this year it was run in conjunction with the South West Regional as part of a larger event called Big Western, held in Los Angeles.

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HEADOUT RON ULICNY

WILLAMETTE WEEK

WHAT TO DO THIS WEEK IN ARTS & CULTURE

WEDNESDAY MARCH 5 RUSSIAN CIRCLES [MUSIC] While Explosions in the Sky soundtracks ﬁctional high-school football games, Russian Circles rewrites the score for the apocalypse. Memorial, the ﬁfth and most dynamic release from the instrumental metal trio, conveys an unnerving sense of inevitable destruction, and the foolish notion that you can outrun it. Wonder Ballroom, 128 NE Russell St., 284-8686. 7 pm. $17 advance, $20 day of show. All ages.

FRIDAY MARCH 7

VEGAN TAXIDERMY THE ONLY THING MORE PORTLANDY THAN REGULAR MEAT-BASED TAXIDERMY.

INDEPENDENT WOMEN [THEATER] Remember the halcyon days of Destiny’s Child? That trio’s 2000 album, Independent Women Part 1, was the launchpad for this show, which is also inspired by Rosie the Riveter. Expect a mashup of text, song and, presumably, bangin’ dance moves. Action/Adventure Theatre, 1050 SE Clinton St., socialsciencesproductions.com. 8 pm. $15.

SATURDAY MARCH 8 METAL MACHINE MUSIC PRESENTED BY MARZENA & KOGUT BUTOH [DANCE] Thirty-nine years on, critics still don’t know what to make of Lou Reed’s free-noise opus Metal Machine Music. When Portland composer Bob Priest listened to it, he heard the score for a butoh-style dance piece—which really is as legitimate an interpretation as any. Three Friends Coﬀee House, 201 SE 12th Ave., 236-6411. 11 pm. Free.

SUNDAY MARCH 9 TACO AND WINE PAIRING [FOOD] Pairing tacos and wine might seem a trashy Southwestern notion of a fancy date. But here we are: ﬁve tacos, six wines. It’s the ﬁrst of several fast-food wine dates between Pairings Wine shop and eateries in the neighboring Ocean food complex, in this case Uno Mas taqueria. Pairings Portland Wine Shop, 455 NE 24th Ave., 541531-7653. 5 pm. $30. Reservations required. 21+.

MONDAY MARCH 10 PCS IMPROV ALL-STARS [COMEDY] First-rate actors Gretchen Corbett and Gavin Hoﬀman tell stories based on audience suggestions, and then four improv artists craft scenes riﬃng on those tales. It’s all spliced or scrambled together, hopefully to hilarious results. Gerding Theater, 128 NW 11th Ave., 445-3700. 8 pm. $5-$10.

TUESDAY MARCH 11

GO: Mounted, a taxidermy-themed group show, opens Friday, March 7, at Good: A Gallery, 4325 N Mississippi Ave., goodpdx.com.

MASHA GESSEN [BOOKS] Having followed rabblerousing Russian punk band Pussy Riot since their 2012 incarceration, Masha Gessen now oﬀers an account in her new book, Words Will Break Cement: The Passion of Pussy Riot. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 228-4651. 7:30 pm. Free. Willamette Week MARCH 5, 2014 wweek.com

FOOD & DRINK THOMAS COBB

FEATURE

= WW Pick. Highly recommended. By MATTHEW KORFHAGE. Editor: MARTIN CIZMAR. Email: dish@wweek.com. See page 3 for submission instructions.

FRIDAY, MARCH 7 UnWined Tasting Event

For those who want to bird-dog the wines that will be featured at the big ol’ Astoria crab, seafood and wine fest in April while ogling the Goonies rock, this is a pretty cost-conscious way to do so. Admission comes with 10 wine tastes, plus appetizers for each, plus a wine glass, plus some hobnobbing with wine judges who’ll (gently) tell you what to like. Liberty Theater’s Paulson Pavilion, 1203 Commercial St., Astoria, 5 pm. $25. 21+.

SATURDAY, MARCH 8 Oregon Chardonnay Symposium

This is a chardonnay fest out in chardonnay country, with chardonnay experts speaking about chardonnay with chardonnay fans, plus a bunch of chardonnay. After an expert panel on the future of the style in Oregon, there’ll be the main event: a tasting featuring 40 diﬀ erent chardonnay producers. They only give you two hours to taste, though, so use a funnel. Stoller Family Estate, 16161 NE McDougall Road, 2 pm. $60 tasting only, $100 tasting and panel.

Strip-O-Rama XXXVI

Strip-O-Rama is s ort of a readymade bachelor party, but without the douchey limo. They don’t tell you ahead of time where the bus is taking you, but, rest assured, you’ll end up at a place with naked people. And then you’ll be at another place with naked people. Then you’ll be at more places with naked people. There are drink specials, cheapo dances and no covers. You should know that the BarFly Bus has a 23-and-over age policy. Also remember to tip the dancers, and we’re so, so sorry you’re getting married. Multiple locations, barﬂ ybus.com. 7 pm-1 am. $25 per person, $200 for group of 10. 23+.

SUNDAY, MARCH 9 Association Dinner: Rewriting the Rules

Union/Pine and the Merit Badge catering company will be re-kickstarting their chef and dinner series with a lecture on “Rewriting the Rules” by Justin Lewis of the somewhat unclassiﬁ able local design/ tech/marketing company Instrument. This is combined with a Pennsylvania Dutch feast by Old Salt restaurant and some desserts and local beers. Whether the Pennsylvania Dutch are

actually the best people to accompany a lecture on breaking rules and innovation, we’re not sure. But there you go. Union/Pine, 525 SE Pine St., 7 pm. $65. 21+.

Second Sunday Cider Pairing

Brooklyn House Restaurant is a ciderlovin’ spot. They oﬀ er discounts for Bushwhacker cider house patrons, and every second Sunday they host a cider-and-cheese pairing. The cider’s free, no less. (Tip, dammit!) But for the full eﬀ ect, order the $5 or $10 paired cheese plates and discover what we at WW discovered long ago one lucky day at Cheese Bar: Cheese and cider are a way better marriage than your parents ever had. And we say this without knowing your parents. For March, Portland Cider Co. is the featured cidery, with a perry, a hop cider and a juniper cider, along with the old-school Kinda Sweets and Sorta Drys. Hooo! Brooklyn House Restaurant, 3131 SE 12th Ave., 236-6761. 4 pm.

Taco and Wine Pairing

We don’t quite know why tacos and wine shouldn’t be paired. And yet, the idea seems daft, maybe ambitious, maybe a Southwestern trashy notion of a fancy date. But here we are: ﬁ ve tacos, six wines, chips and guacamole. It’s the ﬁ rst of several fast-food wine dates between Pairings Wine shop and the neighboring Ocean food complex, in this case Uno Mas taqueria. In the future, wine and a Slowburger? Wine with Tails & Trotters? Yes, please. Pairings Portland Wine Shop, 455 NE 24th Ave., 541-531-7653. 5 pm. $30. Reservations required. 21+.

TUESDAY, MARCH 11 Toast the Farm

Drink wine for the kids! And the farms! A beneﬁ t for the Sauvie Island Center, which gets kids out of your hair and into the ﬁ elds with its Farm Camp programs, where they learn how to farm. Or at least —let’s be serious, here—they kind of learn what farms are, a little, and will come home pestering you for a plot of their own so they can grow carrots in your backyard. Beard award-winning chef Cory Schreiber (and some cooking school students) will be cooking up some fancy hors d ’oeuvres from Diane Morgan’s cookbook Roots, and you’ll be plied with wine. Author Morgan will also be on hand. International Culinary School at the Art Institute of Portland, 34 NW 8th Ave., sauvieislandcenter.org. 5:30 pm. $40-$45.

DRANK

DEVIL’S KRIEK 2012 (DOUBLE MOUNTAIN) The just-released bottles of Double Mountain’s Devil’s Kriek have two very important numbers on them. The first is the year the beer was brewed— 2012—which, in following the wine world’s convention, is stamped on the bottles despite the fact that this acidic and very reserved kriek didn’t appear in bottles until last month. The second—$17—is the price we paid at N.W.I.P.A. That’s a large sum for a 375-milliliter bottle. But consider that the bottle for this dry and Brett-heavy brew was made to specification in Italy. And consider that its Rainier and Bing cherries came straight from brewmaster Matt Swihart’s orchard in Dukes Valley. And remember how long it’s been conditioning in the brewhouse. For me, it’s hard to justify ponying up $17 for 12.8 ounces of any beer. But, if you give the Devil’s his due, you won’t find much fault. Recommended. MARTIN CIZMAR. 24

Willamette Week MARCH 5, 2014 wweek.com

BEANING THERE: Stumptown’s Division Street location in 2006.

JUMP THE STUMP CHANGES ARE PERCOLATING AT STUMPTOWN—LITERALLY. BY R U TH B R OWN

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When news broke in 2011 that Duane Sorenson’s caffeine fiefdom had been sold, many observers— this newspaper included—expected big changes at Stumptown Coffee Roasters and its cafes were imminent. TSG Consumer Partners, the private equity firm that purchased a stake in Stumptown, is reputed to flip its acquisitions for big profits five to seven years after buying, so strip-mall franchises and a line of Nespresso pods seemed just around the corner. Instead, Stumptown’s movements have been less like a thick gush of espresso and more like the slow, steady droplets from a Kyoto cold brew drip tower. None has individually made a big splash, but gradually, drip by drip, they add up. Case in point: A few weeks ago, news came that the company had ceased brewing its standard coffee in French presses at its Portland stores, switching to an automatic drip machine. That may sound like small potatoes, but it marked the end of an era, and further exemplified the brand’s move from grungy local coffeehouse to a beancounting (sorry), streamlined business, with more than 200 employees nationwide. At such a moment, it seemed like an appropriate time to stop and take stock of what has been happening at one of Portland’s most iconic companies in the almost three years since it was sold. New stores At the time of the sale, Sorenson cited his desire to expand into new territories as one of the major motivations behind the move, telling The New York Times that he had his eye set on Chicago and San Francisco. Instead, the company has branched out into just one new city: Los Angeles, where it opened a cafe and roastery on the outskirts of downtown in September 2013. Earlier that year, it also opened another cafe in New York City—partially out of necessity, no doubt, as its Red Hook roastery took a battering from Hurricane Sandy—but moving its flagship commercial operation from a sleepy Brooklyn neighborhood to a sizeable property in yuppy, tourist-heavy Greenwich Village must have been a serious investment and undertaking.

New merchandise Though Stumptown continues to resist the lure of selling branded T-shirts (which shows great will power, because it would surely make a mint flogging those things from its Ace Hotel location), other products have been slowly creeping onto store shelves. Cafes now sell $12 mugs (having previously sold limited-edition sets of four “designer” mugs for $100) and $25 Kleen Kanteens, plus $120 to $420 brewing kits that come with a grinder, brewer, branded mug and, inexplicably, a branded carpenter’s pencil. New drinks In three years on the market, Stumptown’s deepbrown “stubbies” of cold brew have become as synonymous with the brand name as maroon espresso cups and tattooed baristas. Now the company is heading deeper into the ready-to-drink market, releasing handsome cartons dubbed “Cold Brew With Milk” into the local market in January. The addition of milk to the brew is actually less notable than the addition of—gasp!—sugar. This moves the brand further from its original coffeepurist demographic and into the mainstream market, competing with the likes of Starbucks’ bottled Frappuccino. A hint of things to come may have been found on a recent visit to the Greenwich Village cafe, which was promoting a drink with cold brew, milk and mulling spices—embarrassingly called a “Winter Cheer.” New boss If anyone knows about slinging trendy bottled beverages on supermarket shelves, it’s Stumptown’s new president, Joth Ricci. In fact, the former chief executive of Seattle’s Jones Soda and board member at newcomer Dry Soda is probably behind the Cold Brew With Milk innovation—he told BevNET earlier this year that he was inspired by Starbucks and, er, International Delight, which makes York Peppermint Pattie and white chocolate mocha-flavored coffee creamers. New pastries A rotating lineup of snacks from Portland’s finest bakeries previously populated the pastry cases at local Stumptown cafes, but that all changed when Sorenson opened his own bakery last July. The cafes’ croissants and cookies are still made elsewhere, but the bakery is a nod to the sprawling local empire of eateries the Stumptown founder has opened in recent years—and where his focus is now. In addition to Roman Candle, there is Italian restaurant Ava Gene’s, the Woodsman Tavern and adjoining Woodsman Market.

FOOD & DRINK AMAREN COLOSI

REVIEW

Vegan Dishes Available

Experience Lebanese cuisine at its best

PINOT AND PIE: Sausage pizza at Nick’s in McMinnville.

NICK’S BIG BEARD MCMINNVILLE ITALIAN JOINT IS SECOND AMERICA’S CLASSIC IN OREGON. BY M A RT I N C I Z M A R

mcizmar@wweek.com

James Beard was a native Oregonian, but before last week only one restaurant in the state held the highest honor given in his name. In my opinion, that’s at least being deemed one of America’s Classics by the foundation named for the late proto-foodie. One great year at an upscale restaurant can win a pedigreed chef one of the glitzier categories in the “Oscars of food.” Beard nominees for Best Chef in Northwest include fresh faces like Roe’s Trent Pierce and Castagna’s Justin Woodward. On the other hand, it usually takes a lifetime to win America’s Classics, which goes to exceptional taco shops, landmark barbecue pits and palaces of pastramidom. The 15 Classics I’ve been to include the places that invented the buffalo wing and waffle cone (Anchor Bar in Buffalo, Doumar’s in Norfolk, Va.), Seattle’s century-old sushi joint (Maneki) and the best huevos rancheros at any car wash in America (El Paso’s H&H). Other Classics have named an R.E.M. album (“Automatic for the People” is the slogan of Weaver D’s in Athens, Ga.) and invented the French dip (Philippe’s in Los Angeles). Last week, Nick’s Italian Cafe in McMinnville got the nod, joining Southwest Portland’s Original Pancake House, which won 15 years ago. After swinging through on Saturday night, that’s an honor I’ll toast, even if Nick’s is probably more notable as a clubhouse for pinotphiles souvenir-shopping by the case after IPNC (in other words, Beard judges) than somewhere Portlanders should drive an hour to drop $100 on dinner for two. At its best moments, Nick’s reminded me of an older cousin to Ava Gene’s, with delicate housemade pasta, chummy ser vice and an exceptional wine list. Other times—a pork sausage that came out undercooked, translucent pink and mushy in the center—it shows some of

those unfortunate wrinkles restaurants develop after passing to a second generation. Nick’s opened in 1977, but don’t expect a broken-in Italian joint with signed photos of Sinatra on the walls. The contemporary dining room was remodeled in February 2013, with one wall covered in used wine barrels and woven together like a Longaberger basket, and the other lined with banquettes. Wine is, of course, a focus, with a half-dozen local and Italian reds available by the glass. They’re serious about it, too: Believing our DeFerrari to be very slightly corked, the waitress brought a replacement. The best of our five courses was little bowls of pork and spinach ravioli ($15)—Nick’s will happily split any dish in the kitchen—a limber square-inch of noodle boiled to leave just a hint of tension and served in a sage-inflected butter sauce with shavings of salty Parmesan on top. We also loved the winter squash salad ($9), a pile of arugula, chopped squash, fried Brussels sprouts hot out of the pan and pickled onion sprinkled with crushed hazelnuts and a very mild red wine vinaigrette. Nick ’s pizza, new since Nick Peira no’s daughter Carmen and her husband took over the place in 2007, has a homespun quality, more like something made by a superb home cook than the product of a full-time pizzaiolo. These wood-f ired pies ($15-17) a re loa f y, with the subtle f lavor of fresh Italian bread and very little of the sour crackle that comes after seasoning a few days in a bowl. We still enjoyed a pie made with Nick’s own sausage and creamy mozzarella, with slices of yellow and green zucchini. The sausage is far better on the pie than on the pork plate ($24), where it was left undercooked. Our waitress offered to “throw it back on the grill,” though it had been sliced lengthwise and likely would have bled out its juices. The plate also included sliced spareribs and a wee shish kebab of pork tenderloin and potatoes. And for dessert? There’s housemade gelato, but we opted for creme brulee. Nick’s version is wholly competent and quite like most other creme brulee. In other words, it’s appropriately classic. EAT: Nick’s Italian Cafe, 521 NE 3rd St., McMinnville, 434-4471, nicksitaliancafe.com.

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MUSIC

March 5–11 PROFILE

= WW Pick. Highly recommended.

ZIA ANGER

Prices listed are sometimes for advance ticket sales. At-the-door increases and socalled convenience charges may apply. Event lineups are subject to change after WW’s press deadlines. Editor: MATTHEW SINGER. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, go to wweek.com/ submitevents and follow submission directions. All shows should be submitted two weeks or more in advance of event. Press kits, CDs and especially vinyl can be sent to Music Desk, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Please include show or release date information with all physical mailings. Email: msinger@wweek.com. Fax: 243-1115.

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 5 Solids, PUP, Pheasant

[YOUNG HEARTS SPARK FIRE] On first take, it’s hard to distinguish Montreal’s Solids from another guitar, drums and Red Bull duo from Canada: Vancouver’s unstoppable Japandroids. While Solids’ debut record, Blame Confusion, lacks the world-dominating Springsteenisms of the best Japandroids material, it trades in the same swirl of noisy, distorted racket, rarely slowing down to catch its breath or let us get past the second chorus. The mess is often pleasing, especially on the title track and barnstorming first single, “Traces.” But it often sounds a little empty, as singer Xavier GermainPoitras’ vocals are too frequently lost in the mix. Call me back when you learn to write a proper sing-along. MICHAEL MANNHEIMER. Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison St., 239-7639. 8:30 pm. $8 advance, $10 day of show. 21+.

THURSDAY, MARCH 6 Scale the Summit, the Ocean, the Atlas Moth

[HEAVY INSTRUMENTAL] Imagine you’re on a hike on a beautiful, calm spring day. Birds are chirping sweetly as you reach the top of a mountain overlooking a sprawling forest. Hearing Scale the Summit for the first

time is sort of like that, only with a wall of double kick drum coming at you, accompanied by cyclical, intricate electric-guitar riffs. The Texas four-piece brings to mind epic images of rocky peaks and intense, exciting adventures, and that’s without knowing their song titles, which include “The Traveler,” “The Great Plains” and “Redwoods.” Latest release The Migration is an album that often shifts suddenly from floating and delicate to dark and aggressive, riding on bursts of cymbals and sometimes hazy, sometimes frantic guitar that unfolds like the journeys they evoke. KAITIE TODD. Branx PDX, 320 SE 2nd Ave., 234-5683. 7 pm. $12. All ages.

Moistboyz, Qui

[SHLOCK RAWK] Riding the coattails of Motörhead is nothing new in punk circles, but what happens when Mickey Melchiondo, aka Gene Ween, the cock-rock apologist half of Ween is the captain of the ship? On Moistboyz V, minor detours into Southern-fried garage-rock histrionics inevitably run ashore into deliciously lowbrow garage metal that would provide a perfect backdrop for Bam Margera blowing shit up in his front yard. PETE COTTELL. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., 231-9663. 9 pm. $17. 21+.

TOP FIVE

CONT. on page 28

BY M ATTH EW SI N GER

FIVE THINGS FROM LAST YEAR’S SXSW THAT CONVINCED ME TO STAY HOME THIS YEAR A volunteer tried to extort $20 from me. Arriving at a free day party I’d RSVP’d to and finding 20,000 people who’d done the same, I was pulled aside by the guy monitoring the line, who saw my press badge and offered to let me cut ahead…for a price. He greatly overestimated my desire to see Icona Pop. Public Enemy played inside a giant Doritos vending machine. Corporate sponsorship doesn’t really bother me—I also witnessed a sublime set by My Morning Jacket’s Jim James while buzzed on free shots of Tito’s Handmade Vodka and cramming complimentary Taco Bell in my mouth— but even I have my limits, and commodifying one of hip-hop’s all-time greatest groups by reducing them to a bag of chips is pretty close to the line. Some guy ran from backstage after Solange performed and offered to flash his wang “if you show me your tits.” Sure, it’s just one ass-hat with VIP access, but that ass-hat is representative of the thousands of other industry ass-hats trying to trade guest-list spots for boob shots. The Night Owl bus. Admittedly, it’s my fault that I dilly-dallied with finding lodging and ended up having to take the 3 am bus with drunk University of Texas students back to my rented guest room each night, but fighting through a crowd of wasted college kids to get someplace is basically the entire SXSW experience in a nutshell. Third Eye Blind practically shut down a city street while performing in an outdoor lot… …in 2013. As I wrote last year, when a zillion people flood the streets to watch a band that hasn’t been popular since 1997, you know SXSW has become untenable. SEE IT: South By Southwest runs March 7-16 in Austin, Texas.

NEW FLAMES

ANGEL OLSEN HAS BEEN SINGING HER ENTIRE LIFE. ONLY NOW HAS SHE FOUND HER VOICE. BY e Milee B ooher

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Angel Olsen made it clear at the start of her career that she wasn’t afraid to use her voice. Her solo debut, the 2011 EP Strange Cacti, was bare-boned, acoustic and raw, and highlighted by the singer’s ability to carry a song by pushing and stretching her vocals near the breaking point. In those songs, her voice cracked and vacillated across sprawling melodies, moving from a whisper to a howl in the span of a single syllable. Now with two full-length albums under her belt, including the freshly released Burn Your Fire for No Witness, the 27-year-old Missouri native continues to explore and transform her music. Switching a few years ago from acoustic to electric guitar and bringing in a full band to back her, Olsen sounds more at home than ever. “I always sang,” she says by phone while driving with her bandmates toward a tour stop in Nashville. “When I was little, I sang all the time.” Growing up, Olsen taught herself to imitate a variety of vocal styles by listening to everyone from Roger Miller to Mariah Carey to Tina Turner. After moving to Chicago at age 19, she gained attention by playing quiet solo sets at house shows around the city. In time, she caught the eye of eccentric singer-songwriter Will Oldham, who brought her on tour as part of a deliberately enigmatic project called the Babblers. While the mysterious group members would often hide behind sunglasses and hooded one-piece pajamas onstage, Olsen’s haunting voice left audiences mesmerized. After she toured and recorded with Oldham for nearly three years, Olsen’s perspective on her own work began to shift. “Singing in someone else’s band, you use your voice differently than you would for your own music,” she says. “So you learn how to use it in different ways. You realize that you are capable of using it in certain ways that you normally don’t.” The results are obvious on her new record. Burn Your Fire for No Witness is a dynamic collection,

fluctuating between energetic full-band tracks to minimal, deeply personal songs. Recorded in less than two weeks with producer John Congleton (the Walkmen, the Mountain Goats), the album feels robust and vibrant and, at times, fuzzy and rumbling. On “Hi-Five,” an upbeat and sarcastic song about loneliness, Olsen channels Hank Williams at his most rollicking, evoking him directly in the opening line: “I feel so lonesome I could cry.” Other times, the album feels like an audio diary—emotional and solitary—with Olsen singing as if she’s letting someone in on a secret. Two months ago, Olsen left Chicago for Asheville, N.C. She had been contemplating the move for the last year, and many of the emotions surrounding that decision went into the new album. “White Fire” comes in stark contrast to “Hi-Five,” with Olsen singing over a sparsely pulsing electric guitar, bringing to mind the poetic, conversational tone of Leonard Cohen. The songwriting takes a much more serious turn as well. “I heard my mother thinking me right back into my birth,” she sings in a near-whisper. “I laughed so loud inside myself it all began to hurt.”

“I’VE BEEN PLAYING QUIET, SOLO STUFF FOR SO LONG. IT’S A BREAK FOR ME TO NOT HAVE TO DO THAT ALL THE TIME.” Having struggled in the past to find an appropriate musical identity, Olsen sets aside all reservations on this record. “There are songs where I want to play music, and I want to just sing,” she says. “It’s fun to use your voice in a louder way, especially for me because I’ve been playing quiet solo stuff for so long. It’s a break for me to not have to do that all the time.” In these songs, she’s simultaneously louder and quieter than before. Her writing is hard-hitting, personal and simple. She sounds comfortable and balanced. And like her album title suggests, Olsen’s musical fire is blazing, and it feels like it’s burning for no one but herself. SEE IT: Angel Olsen plays Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., with Cian Nugent, on Wednesday, March 5. 9 pm. $10 advance, $12 day of show. 21+. Willamette Week MARCH 5, 2014 wweek.com

GREG TROOPER IN CONCERT

WITH SPECIAL GUEST GARY

Ancient Heat, Minden, Brownish Black

7PM

FURLOW

SATURDAY MARCH 8 O’CONNOR’S VAULT

THURSDAY–FRIDAY

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[GARAGE SOUL] Soul doesn’t come naturally to the lily-white Northwest. In the case of Brownish Black’s M.D. Sharbatz, though, it wasn’t until he moved to Portland, oddly enough, that the singer-guitarist discovered his inner James Brown. Even stranger, the guy came here from Detroit. Growing up in the cradle of Motown, Sharbatz played in all kinds of bands raging hardcore, moody post-punk, plaintive alt-country, but he never thought to try his hand at R&B, arguably his hometown’s greatest cultural export. Then, not long after relocating to the Rose City, he sat down to play guitar, and the funk just began to ﬂ ow out of him. In the years since, Brownish Black has worked on perfecting, though not reﬁ ning, a sound that eschews the pop elegance of Motown in favor of the rusty-strings guitar stabs and gutbucket hollering associated with Berry Gordy’s Southern rival, Stax. Tonight, the group celebrates the release of its sweat-drenched live session at the Banana Stand, along with disco revivalists Ancient Heat and the strutting glam pop of Minden. MATTHEW SINGER. Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison St., 239-7639. 8:30 pm. $7. 21+.

La Luz, Heartwarmer, Lloyd and Michael

JIMMY MAK’S “One of the world’s top 100 places to hear jazz” – Downbeat Magazine

Jimmy Mak’s Presents

First Friday Great American Music Series

The Curtis Salgado Band March 7th & 8th Showtime at 8pm tickets available at TicketTomato.com

[SURF’S UP] Despite frequently being tagged as contemporary surf rock, the music of Seattle quartet La Luz is decidedly downbeat. On the band’s wonderful debut, It’s Alive, La Luz sounds like the Shangri-Las by way of Woodsist Records. Though the riﬀ s are warm and the harmonies sweet, they’re hidden behind a mystic lo-ﬁ charm. It’s Alive is woozy, girl-group pop for people who are actually afraid of the beach. Catch this wave before the sun gets too bright. MICHAEL MANNHEIMER. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 288-3895. 9 pm. $8 advance, $10 day of show. 21+.

Mujeres, Dead Ghosts, Sun Angle

Janiva Magness, March 6th

Soul Vaccination, March 22nd

Eddie Martinez, March 14th

Stephanie Schneiderman, March 28th

Lisa Mann CD release, March 15th

Farnell Newton, March 29th

John Nemeth & The Bo-Keys, March 21st

Mon-Sat. evenings: Dinner from 5 pm, Music from 8 pm 221 NW 10th • 503-295-6542 • jimmymaks.com 28

Willamette Week MARCH 5, 2014 wweek.com

Ceremony of Sludge

[METAL FEST] Now in its third year, the Ceremony of Sludge fest keeps things nice and friendly for emerging bands in the local metal scene. Of this two-night stint in the humble castle of Club 21, only one act—Seattle’s Serial Hawk—is from out of town. The rest of the weekend is a shower of sound from Doomtown’s newest and loudest bands. Friday-night headliner Lamprey goes slow and low, and Saturday night boasts the soulful heavy rock of Holy Grove. Did I mention that both nights are entirely free? NATHAN CARSON. 21+ Club 21, 2035 NE Glisan St., 235-5690. 9 pm. Free.

The Minus 5, the My Oh Mys, Hook and Anchor

[PNW STAPLES] Portland-based frontman Scott McCaughey and the ragtag boys of the Minus 5 may not have issued a proper studio album since the Portland-praising Killingsworth in 2009, but who really gives a damn? Once a solo project, the band ’s albums have batted between mellow indie folk, garage rock, dreamy pop and early Wilco-style country rock for more than two decades, crafted when McCaughey and his revolving cast of sidemen, which occasionally includes big names like like exR.E.M. guitarist Peter Buck, weren’t

busy elsewhere. Still, McCaughey remains a linchpin in the Paciﬁ c Northwest and a twisted-butgifted one at that. BRANDON WIDDER. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., 231-9663. 9 pm. $10. 21+.

Verified: Lil Texas, GANG$IGN$, Tyler Tastemaker, EASTGHOST, Mode7

[LI’L OF EVERYTHING] As a DJ, it’s good to have a wide range of music that can work in all club biomes: the steamy coast of R&B couples night; the jungle of heavy, foreign bass; the familiar forest of hip-hop and its trap cliﬀ s. Few producers span the geography as well as Sam Barry, aka L.A.’s Lil Texas. From his hyped-up trap remix of R. Kelly’s “Sex Me” to the shimmering, synthed-out R&B of “Looking for Love,” Lil Texas can take the dance ﬂ oor anywhere he wants. MITCH LILLIE. Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison St., 239-7639. 9 pm. $5 before 11 pm, $7 after. 21+.

Umphrey’s McGee

[MISCELLANEOUS JAM] It’s hard to categorize Umphrey’s McGee. Undoubtedly a “jam band,” its sound also reveals a shameless reverence for heavy metal as well as prog rock. A single song might channel Phish, Metallica and Frank Zappa over the course of 10 minutes. Basically, these musicians shred, and nobody looks happier doing it. One can imagine any member of Umphrey’s McGee as a teenager belting out “For Those About to Rock (We Salute You)”

CONT. on page 30

PREVIEW

Eoto, Acorn Project

[JAM ELECTRO] While the String Cheese Incident may bedazzle the barefoot hula-hooping masses at festivals every summer, a couple of the psychedelic jam band’s members have also found their way into the hearts of techhappy Gen-Y’ers with longstanding side project EOTO. EOTO is Michael Travis and Jason Hann’s spin on dubstep, incorporating SCI’s penchant for meandering melody into a heavier sound. The music is also completely improvised and created live without prerecorded loops. The duo regularly performs at Apple stores to demonstrate how they use Ableton and Echoplex to produce music on the spot in concert. They’ve become a touring headliner in their own right over several years of shows, and it is an amusing treat to see a grayhaired Travis on the decks, laying down dirtier basslines than the legion of teens and 20-somethings experimenting with the same software. GRACE STAINBACK. Wonder Ballroom, 128 NE Russell St., 2848686. 8:30 pm. $20. All ages.

FRIDAY, MARCH 7 UPCOMING SHOWS:

tains the song “Seattle Waves” so let’s give these dudes a nice, rowdy reception tonight. MICHAEL MANNHEIMER. Bunk Bar, 1028 SE Water Ave., 894-9708. 9:30 pm. $7 advance, $8 day of show. 21+.

COURTESY OF SARGENT HOUSE

MUSIC

MATT MINER PRESENTS

[LOOSE TRANSLATION] Spanish garage-rock quartet Mujeres is more classicist than groundbreaking, but the band ’s fun, sprightly jams blend the best parts of the Nuggets canon with yips and yelps straight from the last Thee Oh Sees record. “How I Am” even has the same kinetic pulse (if not cultural signiﬁ cance) as the Velvet Underground’s “I’m Waiting for the Man.” There’s also a bit of a Northwest lineage here the band ’s 2012 album, Soft Gems, con-

Russian Circles, KEN Mode, Helms Alee [APOCALYPTIC MATH METAL] Between Easter, The Walking Dead and Keith Richards’ uncanny life force, it’s safe to say pop culture’s predilection for zombie kitsch is no longer weird. While necromancy isn’t as big as football, there’s no reason the dread of the undead can’t get a triumphant post-rock score a la Friday Night Lights. And who would be better for that job than Russian Circles? Since blowing up the instrumental-metal scene with 2006’s Enter, the band—actually from Chicago—has been churning out tense, bludgeoning dirges at an impressive clip. Guitarist Mike Sullivan’s use of loop pedals elevates the trio’s live sets to otherworldly affairs that walk the edge between lilting, hopeful melodies and crushing, drop-tuned catharsis. On last year’s Memorial, Russian Circles’ fifth and most dynamic release, the reliance on effects-based parlor tricks has been tempered by a heightened sense of atmosphere and sonics. Bookended by a suite of introspective title tracks, the latter of which features the haunting vocals of labelmate and fellow gloom-monger Chelsea Wolfe, Memorial employs dense layers of unnerving melodic counterpoints to represent a full spectrum of human emotion—specifically, the sense of knowing the end is near, and the foolish gambit of thinking you can outrun it. Let Explosions in the Sky punch up Hail Mary touchdowns—Russian Circles will be there while doomsday is banging on your door. PETE COTTELL. Wonder Ballroom, 128 NE Russell St., 284-8686. 7 pm Wednesday, March 5. $17 advance, $20 day of show. All ages.

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HEADOUT PG. 23

Music Millennium Celebrates 45 Years ECM RESOLUTIONS: THE STORY OF OUR LISTENING SEVEN HISTORICAL REISSUES FROM THE ECM CATALOG These seven historical albums are mastered from original analog sources and issued simultaneously on 180-gram vinyl albums and CDs. Follow the great arc of music on these early ECM productions, with works for orchestra and improvisers, guitar duo, solo piano, and jazz quartet.

BRYCE DESSNER/JONNY GREENWOOD DESSNER: ST. CAROLYN BY THE SEA; GREENWOOD: SUITE FROM ‘THERE WILL BE BLOOD’ ON SALE $13.99 ALSO ON LP Never before have classical and rock converged in such an organic, compelling and sensual way as they do in the three short orchestral works written by and featuring The National guitarist Bryce Dessner on his new release St. Carolyn by the Sea, performed with the Copenhagen Phil and conducted by Andree de Ridder. With this album, which also showcases a suite drawn from Radiohead guitarist Jonny Greenwoods soundtrack for There Will Be Blood, Bryce Dessner and Jonny Greenwood open up a new frontier for symphonic music.

GARY BURTON SEVEN SONGS FOR QUARTET AND CHAMBER ORCHESTRA ON SALE $14.99 ALSO ON LP

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UPCOMING IN-STORES & EVENTS ANDREW GRAY HICKS SUN 3/9 @ 7 PM The Andrew Gray Hicks project has been hashing out material the past five months in the living room of guitarist Jerimiah Peterson’s house, with Julian Ross on the skins. This progressive indie rock project is a twist compared to his last release, F.R.I.E.N.D.S. Andrew Gray Hicks is self-described as folk songs put into a plethora of glitchy trip-hop.

BATTLEME TUES 3/11 @ 6 PM Portland’s Zach Richards and Eric Johnston joined Drenik in the studio to form a bombastic rhythm section that leads the newly written songs into a more sustained, thrashy, organic sound.

MUSIC MILLENNIUM TURNS 45! SAT 3/15 Cake cutting @ 3 PM with live music by DIRK HAMILTON THE CRY! @ 5 PM

*offer good through 4/1/14

NEW & RECOMMENDED DRIVE-BY TRUCKERS ENGLISH OCEANS On sale $10.99 CD

An elegantly balanced and deeply engaged new effort that finds the group refreshed and firing on all cylinders. “It can go from this chainsaw rock ‘n’ roll to this very delicate, prettysounding stuff,” says band member Mike Cooley.

PINK MARTINI & VON TRAPPS DREAM A LITTLE DREAM On sale $12.99 CD

This album features the great grandchildren of Baron & Maria von Trapp, made famous by the 1965 film, The Sound of Music. They’ve sung together for 12 years, and have toured the world. This delightful new collaboration features Pink Martini’s beloved little orchestra fronted by the beautiful crystalline four-part harmonies of the singing siblings, traveling through a wonderland of Thomas Lauderdale’s brilliant arrangements.

BYE BYE BLACKBIRDS FRI 3/14 @ 6 PM

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Santa Cruz * Juliana * Devinci * Specialized * Rocky Mountain * Pivot * Ibis * Kona * Giant

FRIDAY–SUNDAY

in front of their bedroom mirror. That boyish enthusiasm carries through each three-plus-hour live show in a tumultuous homage to rock ’n’ roll. GRACE STAINBACK. McMenamins Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside St. 8 pm. $22.50 advance, $25 day of show. All ages.

Party Boyz presentz Ladiez Night: Sallie Ford, Luz Elena Mendoza, Rebecca Gates, Swansea

[NEW BEGINNINGS] The last time I wrote a listing for Sallie Ford, it was about how her band, the Sound Outside, had avoided the alleged “Best New Band curse,” managing to stay together and thrive—in France, anyway—after winning that coveted title back in 2010. And then, in December, the punky jazz-folk group naturally went ahead and announced its breakup. Whoops. There is a silver lining, though: Ford went ahead and almost immediately put together a new band, featuring Anita Lee Elliott of Viva Voce and members of Albatross and Point Juncture WA. That allfemale band makes its debut here—along with other signiﬁ cant Portland lady-rockers Luz Elena Mendoza, Rebecca Gates and Swansea—at Ladiez Night, an event hosted by Rachel Milbauer and Elizabeth Elder of the Party Boyz local music podcast and beneﬁ tting the Rock’n’Roll Camp For Girls. So, y’know, as far as I’m concerned: Still no curse! MATTHEW SINGER. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 288-3895. 9 pm. $15. 21+.

Sea Wolf, Kevin Long, Andrian H

[FOLKY CONFESSIONS] If ever there were a record engineered for a solo tour, Sea Wolf’s Old World Romance, a drifting collection of smooth-as-silk folk rock, is it. Like Damien Jurado, singer Alex Brown Church is often backed by a band, but he is always the center of attention. His brushy voice, while hushed, is Sea Wolf’s focal point, around which Church tacks subtle acoustic melodies. With stage company, Church is almost too dressed up, a pretty but predictable outﬁ t you might hear while waiting in line at Starbucks. As a lone wolf, Church’s subtleties will be twice

as potent. MARK STOCK. Star Theater, 13 NW 6th Ave., 2484700. 9 pm. $15. 21+.

Marriage and Cancer, Hurry Up!, Tiny Knives

[REVERB PUNK] Longtime locals Marriage and Cancer are on the upswing: Switching from the intentionally confusing moniker Nucular Aminals and embarking on more ambitious tours should help the anti-conformist, selfproclaimed feminists reach fans outside their close-knit crowd. The band’s nod to early posthardcore is drenched in the beachy reverb preferred by many contemporary rock bands, while frontman Robert Komets’ vocals drawl in a haze of crunchy bass and discontent. They hit the road on a short Bay Area tour after tonight’s show. LYLA ROWEN. The Know, 2026 NE Alberta St., 473-8729. 8 pm. Call venue for ticket information. 21+.

SATURDAY, MARCH 8 Love in This Club: The Black Madonna, Ben Tactic, Nathan Detroit

[CHICAGO HOUSE] There is probably no more important above-ground venue for Chicago house and techno than Smart Bar. On its list of residents, right below house-music godfather Frankie Knuckles, is the Black Madonna. Marea Stamper has spent the better part of two decades steeped in Midwest rave and dance culture, and now she not only resides at Smart Bar, but acts as its creative director. “We Don’t Need No Music,” with its smooth disco bassline, choppy vocal samples and classic horns, speaks to her taste. This is 21stcentury Chicago house—Hail Mary. MITCH LILLIE. Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison St., 239-7639. 9 pm. $5. 21+.

SUNDAY, MARCH 9 Like a Villain, Edna Vasquezs Quartet

[EXPERIMENTAL LOOPS] Since creating the moniker Like a Villain

DRANK EXTRA

NAGUAL DE LA NAGA (CADUCEUS CELLARS, 2011) This bottle of Arizona wine—yes, people are making the stuff in that arid land of intolerance—declares itself “big yet subtle and well balanced.” Kind of a bloodless description when you consider this 50/30/20 blend of cabernet sauvignon, merlot and sangiovese is the handiwork of “M.J. Keenan, Winemaker.” You may better know M.J. as Maynard James, frontman of Tool, the ’90s art-metal act that still carves out time for concert engagements when its enigmatic singer isn’t stomping grapes in the cooler high desert north of Phoenix. Keenan ditched the loser rock-’n’roll milieu of L.A. for the Grand Canyon State about a decade ago on a spirit quest toward vinting. In the process, he kind of sort of put ’Zona winemaking on the map—at least in the minds of diehard Tool-heads and a handful of Phoenix wine snobs. Keenan’s 2011 batch of Nagual de la Naga is a smooth, low-acid red with a pleasant caramel taste in the finish. It’s also $50 a bottle. To the sort who would pay more than that to see the inscrutable frontman perform a two-hour show obscured from the audience’s view, it must seem like a bargain. Not recommended. JAY BENNETT. SEE IT: Tool plays Moda Center, 1 N Center Court, with YOB, on Thursday, March 6. 8 pm. $40-$75. All ages. 30

Willamette Week MARCH 5, 2014 wweek.com

SUNDAY–MONDAY PROFILE

M I R I S T E B I V K A AT M I R I F OTO

in 2010, Holland Andrews is known for creating haunting, choirlike loops and writing songs about alien abduction, among other topics. Her latest release, a single out last year called “My Dog Ate It,” is a sevenand-a-half minute sprawling epic, consisting almost entirely of soft, repetitive chimes and her ﬂ oating, looped vocal harmonies that encourage softly and then scream suddenly. This is a familiar pattern for Andrews, who often creates dramatic songs built on basic instrumental ﬂ ares featuring clarinet and glockenspiel and loops that eventually break down in a wild surge of harmony and emotion. KAITIE TODD. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 288-3895. 9 pm. Free. 21+.

MUSIC MARCH MUSIC MODERNE IV Listening to the Here of the Now

G-Eazy, Rockie Fresh

[HIP SOCK-HOP] He does have it pretty easy, actually. With black suspenders over a white tee, his hair pomped up, New Orleansvia-Bay Area rapper G-Eazy is a style-ﬁ rst rapper, rapping about fucking Tumblr-addicted girls over ’50s-evoking, reverb-drenched guitar samples. Ultimately, he’s more a Rap Game Stanley Kowalski than Don Draper: The brute force of his crass rhymes sullies and plays oﬀ of his glossy image. On “Almost Famous,” from the forthcoming These Things Happen, he wonders, “How long does famous last?” He already knows the answer: Whatever the shelf life of Brylcreem is. MITCH LILLIE. Roseland Theater, 8 NW 6th Ave., 230-0033. 9 pm. $18. All ages.

Christian Mistress, Lord Dying, Sons of Huns

[BAR BRAWL] Christian Mistress wants to rock. Hailing from Olympia, the band’s Relapse-issued 2012 album, Possession, is a delicious blend of classic rock and ’80s Brit-metal, highlighted by frontwoman Christine Davis’ impressively soaring, Maiden-esque vocals. It’s music best enjoyed pressed up against an amp while clutching a Tecate tall boy in a cramped, dimly lit dive. Fortunately for you, that’s precisely the environment in which this show is taking place. SAM CUSUMANO. The Tonic Lounge, 3100 NE Sandy Blvd., 238-0543. 9 pm. $10. 21+.

MONDAY, MARCH 10 JD Samson and MEN, Lavender Mirror, Glitterbang

[FEMINIST FATALE] Gaining on the word “Wolf” for most overused trope in indie band names is ironic sexual designations, i.e. a group of dudes posing as females a la Girls and Women. At least with MEN there’s a statement of purpose behind the misnomer. As the solo project of Le Tigre’s JD Samson, the group’s main concern is screwing with gender roles and the politics of sex via Technicolor disco-punk explosions full bouncy, synthesized energy and joyful, catchy choruses. Just don’t make the mistake of interpreting a song like “Take Your Shirt Oﬀ ” as a stripper anthem. MATTHEW SINGER. Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison St., 239-7639. 8:30 pm. $12. 21+.

Cayucas, Miner

[FLIP-FLOP ROCK] With a debut record jammed full of sunny riff s, contagious chants and lyrics about romantic fl ings, Cayucas was built for indie stardom. But it appears riding the yacht-rock coattails of early Vampire Weekend is not as popular as expected. Sure, the Santa Monica quartet has a BMW commercial to its name, but this writer expected Cayucas to be a college radio mainstay by 2014. Perhaps that’s for the better, as the band’s lethargic, rum-soaked brand of beach-bum rock is a better fit for a small venue than sprawling festival grounds. MARK STOCK. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave.,

CONT. on page 32

JEREMY WILSON SATURDAY, MARCH 8 At a glance, Empty Through Empty Space, the new album by Jeremy Wilson, has the backstory of a classic breakup record. Guy meets girl, he moves across the country to be with her, things fall apart, he gets in his car and drives home, writing songs in his head along the way. But as the first material he’s released in more than a decade, it can’t just be about that single experience. It’s informed by heart disease as much as heartbreak, by a simmering existential crisis as much as the crash-and-burn of a relationship. To call Empty Space simply a “breakup record” is an oversimplification— “breakdown record” is more like it. But first: the girl. “When this young woman came into my life, so beautiful and so encouraging, I felt happy for the first time in so long,” says Wilson from his studio in Southeast Portland. At the time, the 45-year-old singer-songwriter, who fronted Pacific Northwest college-rock heroes the Dharma Bums in the late 1980s and major-label hopefuls Pilot in the ’90s, was a year removed from the end of his last longterm relationship. A few years earlier, he’d been diagnosed with Wolff-Parkinson-White syndrome, a heart condition that required multiple surgeries. Meeting someone new renewed his hope that he could still get married and have kids—the things he put off in his 20s and 30s, as he chased other dreams. “And I feel like I put all my eggs in one basket,” he says. So, when she took a job in Florida, Wilson went with her. It only took six months for things to sour. It wasn’t a spectacular implosion but a slow dissolve: When he got into his Ford Explorer, opting to drive the 3,600 miles back to Portland, he wasn’t sure if it was really over. By the time he arrived back in town, 10 days later, he’d come to at least one conclusion: He was going to make a record, something he hadn’t done since the late ’90s. In the intervening years, he’d stayed active—building a studio, producing bands and, after getting sick, establishing the Jeremy Wilson Foundation, a nonprofit providing musicians with emergency health-care services—but as far as anyone could tell, Wilson had retired as an artist. “You wouldn’t believe how many people come up to me and go, ‘I didn’t know you’re still making music,’” Wilson says. But he hadn’t stopped. In fact, throughout the early 2000s, he’d worked on and off on what was supposed to be his solo debut, but the recording kept getting interrupted. Wilson knew that if Empty Space was ever going to see daylight, it had to be done quickly. He let the lyrics stream out of him, and called in some friends— including members of the Decemberists and his old Dharma Bums bandmates—to flesh out the songs. The sound is painterly Americana, with rolling timpani drums conjuring images of a big open sky and a rhythmic pulse representing stretches of passing highway. Wilson refers to it as “epic minimalism”: The arrangements may be sweeping, but it’s insulated enough to feel like you’re riding shotgun alongside him as he spills his guts all over the dash. The bloodletting worked: Wilson is in a much better place today. He’s engaged. He’s back to being an active artist again. And, he says, he’s a better person. Summing up the last few years, Wilson quotes himself: “The greatest gift I ever received came from the hardest bargain.” MATTHEW SINGER. A heartbroken Dharma Bum hits the road and restarts his career.

32 Events • 19 Countries • 67 Composers

7–16 March 2014 Global Village PDX www.marchmusicmoderne.org

SEE IT: Jeremy Wilson plays Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., with Eyelids and Pete Krebs & His Portland Playboys, on Saturday, March 8. 9 pm. $10 advance, $12 day of show. 21+. Willamette Week MARCH 5, 2014 wweek.com

think it’s just trivia? think again.

MUSIC

monday–tuesday/classical, etc.

288-3895. 9 pm. $10. 21+.

TUESDAY, MARCH 11 The We Shared Milk & Phantom Ships

RAMENS RAM N Monday

Wednesday

Thirsty Lion — 7PM Hawthorne Hideaway — 8PM Rose & Thistle — 8PM Alberta St. Pub — 8PM

Thursdays @ 8pm dwing Bar & Grill Re Tuesday 4012 30th St • North Park

The Dugout (Hillsboro) — 7PM Biddy McGraw's — 7PM Shanahan's (Vancouver) — 7PM Ship Tavern — 8PM (Starts March 25) Laurelwood Public House (SE Portland) — 8PM Beaterville Cafe and Bar —8PM The Ram Restaurant & Brewery (Wilsonville)— 8PM

Mondays @ 9pm Bourbon Street Bar & Grill 4612 Park Blvd - University Heights

Punch Bowl Social — 8PM (Starts March 5th) Concordia Ale House — 8PM Space Room — 7PM Tonic Lounge — 7PM Buffalo Gap — 7:30PM

Saturdays @ 8pm Kelly’s Pub San Diego Ave • Old Town

2222 Thursday

21st Avenue Bar & Grill — 7PM Belmont Inn — 7PM M&M Lounge (Gresham)—8PM (Starts April 3rd)

Tuesdays @ 8pm (starts August 14th)

South Park Abbey

www.geekswhodrink.com @geekswhodrink

1946 Fern Street • South Park

facebook.com/geekswhodrink

[LAMER SUNSET] Boone Howard spent three months living in a windowless 8-by-12-foot studio space while writing the We Shared Milk’s Lame Sunset. The album, released last spring, reflected those claustrophobic surroundings, with songs whose subject matter ranged from the comical happenstance of falling asleep on a bus and ending up in Gresham to the pain, both physical and metaphysical, of a particularly bad hangover. Now, almost a year later, Lame Sunset has been remastered and given new album art. This re-release party not only celebrates the album’s rebirth, but the fact that all the members of the We Shared Milk are back to living in rooms with windows. ASHLEY JOCZ. Bunk Bar, 1028 SE Water Ave., 8949708. 9 pm. $3. 21+.

Electric Six, Yip Deceiver, Celebrity Graves

[ANALOG PARTY] You can probably imagine the kind of music associated with an act that issues its members titles like “executive vibes manager.” Yip Deceiver, the Athens, Ga.-based duo made up of former Of Montreal members, is a dance-pop throwback insistent on playing with the heavy hardware of the mid-’80s. With MIDIs and analog synthesizers at its disposal, Yip Deceiver delivers party-starting tracks in an all-analog environment. Part Ghostbusters theme song, part Passion Pit, YP’s debut record, Medallius, is cheeky, retro and just plain fun. MARK STOCK. Dante’s, 350 W Burnside St., 3457892. 9 pm. $12. 21+.

The Ataris, Authority Zero, Drag the River, Versus the World, No More Parachutes

[LEGACY POP PUNK] What’s potentially more amazing than the Ataris touring again is that they actually qualify for a “reunion tour.” The band hasn’t put out an album since 2007 and may actually be more famous for covering “The Boys of Summer” than any of its original material. Maybe the band is out to prove mainstream pop punk isn’t dead, or maybe these guys are just trying to squeeze whatever’s left from their 10-year career on top-40 radio and VH1 countdowns. Either way, let’s hear it one more time for those chugging guitars. GEOFF NUDELMAN. Hawthorne Theatre, 1507 SE 39th Ave., 233-7100. 8 pm. $18 advance, $20 day of show. All ages.

CLASSICAL, JAZZ & WORLD Hilary Hahn

[CLASSICAL] One of the darlings of the classical world, Hilary Hahn has cornered the market on both ancient music and modern social networking. She first picked up the violin shortly before her fourth birthday, and has gone on to win two Grammys so far. While a few other musicians can make similar boasts, it’s unlikely any of them also have an angle so precious as maintaining a Twitter page for their violin case. I’ll be looking forward to Hahn’s performance of “In the Hall of the Mountain King” from Grieg’s fabulous Peer Gynt suites. NATHAN CARSON. Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, 1037 SW Broadway, 248-4335. 19:30. 7:30 pm Saturday, March 8, 2 pm Sunday, March 9 and 8 pm Monday, March 10. $27-$98. All ages.

March Music Moderne: Resonance Ensemble, Venerable Showers of Beauty Gamelan Ensemble

[GONGS AND SONGS] One of the city’s finest and most musically

Willamette Week MARCH 5, 2014 wweek.com

adventurous professional choirs teams up with the Javanese percussion orchestra based at Lewis & Clark College to perform contemporary English composer Neil Sorrell’s intensely dramatic Missa Gongso, which sets parts of the Latin mass to the pulsating melodies of the gamelan’s bronze and wooden gongs and keyed instruments. This unique concert also features folk songs arranged by Indonesian composers so that the a cappella voices intertwine like gamelan instrumental tunes. BRETT CAMPBELL. Evans Auditorium, Lewis & Clark College, 0615 SW Palatine Hill Road. 7:30 pm Saturday, March 8. $11-$22.

March Music Moderne: 9 Beet Stretch [REALLY SLOW MUSIC] If ever there were a piece of time-based art, it’s Norwegian conceptual artist Leif Inge’s 2002 digital elongation of Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony, 9 Beet Stretch. Yet this 24-hour performance, perpetrated around the world from Utrecht to Toronto to Vienna to Shanghai, comes to Portland not through the annual TBA Festival but rather March Music Moderne. In this musical equivalent of a Robert Wilson theatrical tableau or the film 24-Hour Psycho—Inge’s inspiration—a three-minute segment of the symphony expands to an hour. Computer magic prevents the pitch or timbre from changing as well, transforming the symphony’s linear classical construction to ambient soundscape more resembling Eno than Beethoven. BRETT CAMPBELL. Milepost 5. 9 am Saturday, March 8. $10-$25, includes pizza and snacks.

March Music Moderne: Classical Revolution PDX

[CONTEMPORARY CLASSICAL] Many of America’s greatest composers, from Aaron Copland to Leonard Bernstein on down, embraced the love that once dared not speak its name. With marriage equality finally on its way to long-overdue reality throughout the rest of the civilized world, Classical Revolution PDX celebrates music by gay composers, including works by Lou Harrison, Pauline Oliveros, Eve Beglarian and Peter Maxwell Davies, all of whom also just happen to be among the finest of the 20th century, regardless of orientation. The show also includes listener-friendly new music by local composers Bonnie Miksch, Jedediah Bernards, Josh Kreydatus, Mitchell Falconer, Harry Gilbert and Max Voltage. BRETT CAMPBELL. Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison St., 239-7639. 7:30 pm Sunday. $10. 21+.

March Music Moderne: Cascadia Composers

[CONTEMPORARY CLASSICAL] Salem-born Walter Winslow, who won the prestigious Rome Prize and taught at Reed College and other schools, was on his way to becoming one of Oregon’s bestregarded composers when he died in 1998 at age 50. This March Music Moderne concert features the West Coast-premiere of his last completed work, the sextet Concertati Veneziani, a poignant musical love letter to the Venetian Republic and his life partner, a specialist in Venetian art. Appropriately, this performance will be accompanied by projected images of Venice, including artworks now on display at the Portland Art Museum. The show also features music by Winslow’s younger brother, Jeff, now a much-admired Portland composer, including one partly inspired by his brother, as well as some lighter—and delightful— works spotlighting the excellent singers Catherine Olson and Nancy Wood. BRETT CAMPBELL. The Old Church, 1422 SW 11th Ave. 7:30 pm Monday, March 10. $10.

Strip club guide March 12

Willamette Week MARCH 5, 2014 wweek.com

MUSIC CALENDAR

[MARCH 5-11] The Firkin Tavern

= ww Pick. highly recommended. Editor: Mitch Lillie. TO HAVE YOUR EVENT LISTED, send show information at least two weeks in advance on the web at wweek.com/submitevents or (if you book a specific venue) enter your events at dbmonkey. com/wweek. Press kits, CDs and especially vinyl can be sent to Music Desk, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Please include show or release date information with all physical mailings. Email: music@wweek.com. For more listings, check out wweek.com.

1028 SE Water Ave. Mujeres, Dead Ghosts, & Sun Angle

The Foggy Notion

2035 NE Glisan St. Ceremony of Sludge

3416 N Lombard St. Beat Salad

The GoodFoot

ANgEL CEbALLOS

2845 SE Stark St. Left Coast Country, A Mile to Go

The Grand cafe & andrea’s cha cha club

832 SE Grand Ave. Pilon D’Azucar Salsa Band

The Lehrer

8775 SW Canyon Ln. The Crosby Tyler One Man Band Rebellion

The Lodge Bar & Grill 6605 SE Powell Blvd. Ben Rice B3 Trio

The Lovecraft

421 SE Grand Ave. Shadowplay

The Original halibut’s II 2525 NE Alberta St. Terry Robb

The Press club

2621 SE Clinton St. Perola Brasileira

The TardIS roomFish & chip Shop

1218 N Killingsworth St. Navigate North

aLL IN a rOw: La Luz plays Mississippi Studios on Thursday, March 6.

wed. March 5 analog cafe & Theater

720 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Mad Marquis’ Sip N Strip Happy Hour

ash Street Saloon

225 SW Ash St. Transendia Chainbound

Beaterville cafe

2201 N Killingsworth St. Open Mic

Bossanova Ballroom 722 E Burnside St. Swing DJ

cadigan’s corner Bar 5501 SE 72nd Ave. Band Swap with Pat Stilwell

crystal hotel al’s den 303 SW 12th Ave. Sam Cooper

dante’s

350 W Burnside St. Wanderliust Social

duff’s Garage

1635 SE 7th Ave. Nikki Hill

hawthorne Theatre 1507 SE 39th Ave. Lydia

holocene

1001 SE Morrison St. Solids, PUP, Pheasant

Studio 2@Zommtopia 810 SE Belmont Intro to South Indian Classical Dance

The elixir Lab

2734 NE Alberta St. Open Mic Night

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St. Guantanamo Baywatch, Boom!

The Lehrer

8775 SW Canyon Ln. Acoustic Jam with Chuck Gilman

The Lodge Bar & Grill 6605 SE Powell Blvd. Pete Ford Band

The Press club

McMenamins edgefield

2126 SW Halsey St. Michael Berly and Friends

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Angel Olsen

Slabtown

1033 NW 16th Ave. Queer Night: Stepsister

Biddy McGraw’s

6000 NE Glisan St. John Ross

Branx PdX

320 SE 2nd Ave. Scale the Summit, the Ocean, the Atlas Moth

cadigan’s corner Bar 5501 SE 72nd Ave. Kenny Lee Blues Jam

camellia Lounge

chapel Pub

31 NW 1st Ave. The M Machine Presented by Red Cube

Tigardville Station

12370 SW Main Street Open Mic with Jim Crutcher

Tillicum restaurant & Bar 8585 SW BeavertonHillsdale Hwy. High Boltage

Trail’s end Saloon

128 NE Russell St. Russian Circles, Helms Alee, Ken Mode

888 Liberty St. NE Mark Alan

2201 N Killingsworth St. James Faretheewell

The whiskey Bar

Kells

McMenamins Boon’s Treasury

Beaterville cafe

510 NW 11th Ave. Adlai Alexander and Andre St. James

1320 Main Street Big Monti

112 SW 2nd Ave. Bill Tollner

3701 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Eye Candy VJ

2621 SE Clinton St. Brooks Robertson

Jade Lounge

2342 SE Ankeny St. Fez Fatale

Back Stage Bar

wonder Ballroom

ThurS. March 6 aladdin Theater

3017 SE Milwaukie Ave. Martin Sexton Jay Nash

alberta rose Theatre 3000 NE Alberta St. Birds of Chicago

analog cafe & Theater

720 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Portland Timba, Cuban Dance Party

ash Street Saloon 225 SW Ash St. Nick Hilden

Willamette Week MARCH 5, 2014 wweek.com

430 N Killingworth St. Steve Kerin

crystal hotel al’s den 303 SW 12th Ave. Sam Cooper

doug Fir Lounge 830 E Burnside St. Moistboyz, Qui

duff’s Garage

1635 SE 7th Ave. Tough Lovepyle

duff’s Garage

1635 SE 7th Ave. Alan Hager/Dave Fleschner Duo

hawthorne Theatre Lounge

1503 SE Cesar E Chavez Blvd. 9 Road Black Powder County, Cast Down

holocene

1001 SE Morrison St. Ancient Heat, Minden, Brownish Black

Jade Lounge

2342 SE Ankeny St. Jamie Leopold’s ‘Salon de Musique’

Kells

112 SW 2nd Ave. Bill Tollner

Kenton club

2025 N Kilpatrick St. Booberamapalloozafest

Lincoln Performance hall 1620 SW Park Ave. Chamber Choir, Ethan Sperry

Magnolia’s corner

4075 NE Sandy Blvd Jason Okamoto

McMenamins Lola’s room 1332 W Burnside Marca Luna Goldfoot

McMenamins Boon’s Treasury 888 Liberty St. NE The Stomptowners

McMenamins edgefield

2126 SW Halsey St. Red and Ruby

McMenamins ringlers Pub 1332 W Burnside The Windshield Vipers

Mississippi Pizza

3552 N Mississippi Ave. Scott Brockett

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. La Luz, Heartwarmer, Lloyd and Michael

Mock crest Tavern 3435 N Lombart St. Open Mic Jam with Johnnie Ward

Moda center

1 N Center Court St. Tool

Secret Society Ballroom

116 NE Russell St. The Beautiful Train Wrecks, Wilderness and The Cabin Project

Bunk Bar

1937 SE 11th Ave. Sam Densmore The Love and Stress Compound, Urban Wildlife

The Tonic Lounge

3100 NE Sandy Blvd. Long Knife and Sciatica More Hell and Therapists

Tigardville Station

12370 SW Main Street The Fabulous Lisa Fraser

Tillicum restaurant & Bar 8585 SW BeavertonHillsdale Hwy. Betty Moss Duo

Trail’s end Saloon

1320 Main Street American Roots Jam

Vie de Boheme 1530 SE 7th Ave. Loose Change

white eagle Saloon

836 N Russell St. Chris Baron and Friends

wonder Ballroom

128 NE Russell St. Eoto, Acorn Project

FrI. March 7 alberta rose Theatre 3000 NE Alberta St. John Gorka, Special Guest Antje Duvekot

alhambra Theater

4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Pigs on the Wing: A Tribute to Pink Floyd

artichoke Music

3130 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Friday Night Coffeehouse

ash Street Saloon

225 SW Ash St. December in Red, Dead Kiss

Beaterville cafe

2201 N Killingsworth St. James Faretheewell

Shaker & Vine

Beaterville cafe

2929 SE Powell Blvd. Yiddish Republic

2201 N Killingsworth St. MacMinn and The Bare

Slabtown

Biddy McGraw’s

club 21

clyde’s Prime rib restaurant & Bar

5474 NE Sandy Blvd. Cool Breeze, Muthaship

crystal hotel al’s den 303 SW 12th Ave. Sam Cooper

dante’s

350 W Burnside St. Battle of the Bands

doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St. The Minus 5, the My Oh Mys, Hook and Anchor

duff’s Garage

1635 SE 7th Ave. Hamdogs

hawthorne Theatre Lounge

1503 SE Cesar E Chavez Blvd. Live Island G Is For George, Will Power

hotel Oregon

310 NE Evans St. Tate Peterson

Kells

112 SW 2nd Ave. Cul an Ti

Kells Brewpub

210 NW 21st Ave. Sami Rouisi

Kenton club

2025 N Kilpatrick St. Booberamapalloozafest

Lincoln Performance hall-Portland State 1620 SW Park Ave. The PSU New Music Ensemble

McMenamins Lola’s room

1332 W Burnside 80s Video Dance Attack

McMenamins Boon’s Treasury 888 Liberty St. NE Oh My Mys

McMenamins crystal Ballroom

1332 W Burnside Street Umphrey’s McGee

McMenamins edgefield

2126 SW Halsey St. Mark Alan

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Sallie Ford

Mock crest Tavern 3435 N Lombart St. Suburban Slim

The Know

dante’s

350 W Burnside St. MettsRyan & Collins, Burnside 5, The Dischords

doug Fir Lounge

2026 NE Alberta St. Marriage and Cancer, Hurry Up!, Tiny Knives

830 E Burnside St. Jeremy Wilson, Eyelids

The Lehrer

dublin Pub-Beaverton

The Living room Theater

duff’s Garage

8775 SW Canyon Ln. Terry Robb

341 SW 10th Ave . Chris Brokaw

The Secret Society 116 NE Russell St Patchy Sanders

The Tonic Lounge

3100 NE Sandy Blvd. Timbers Army Kickoff Party with Chartbusters

Tigardville Station

12370 SW Main Street China Watch

Tillicum restaurant & Bar 8585 SW BeavertonHillsdale Hwy. Lace & Lead

Vie de Boheme

1530 SE 7th Ave. Shanghai Woolies, Swing Time

whiskey city rock Bar

11140 SE Powell Blvd. Pegboard Nerds

white eagle Saloon 836 N Russell St. Reverb Brothers

wonder Ballroom

128 NE Russell St. Malt Ball III: Genders, Thanks, Grand Horse, Night Mechanic

SaT. March 8 alberta rose Theatre 3000 NE Alberta St. Billygoat and Muse Mecanique

alhambra Theater

4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Organik Time Machine, the Best Dancers, Yak Attack, Basin & Range

alhambra Theater

4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Blue Lotus

arlene Schnitzer concert hall

1037 SW Broadway Hilary Hahn

artichoke Music

3130 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Tom May, Doug Smith

ash Street Saloon

6821 SW Beaverton Hillsdale Hwy. The Kinky Brothers

1635 SE 7th Ave. The Karen Lovely Band

evans auditorium

0615 S.W. Palatine Hill Road March Music Moderne: Resonance Ensemble, Venerable Showers of Beauty Gamelan Ensemble

hawthorne Theatre

1507 SE 39th Ave. Larry and His Flask Scott H Biram, Whiskey Shivers

hawthorne Theatre Lounge

1503 SE Cesar E Chavez Blvd. Ryan Davidson Alden Glinert

hotel Oregon

310 NE Evans St. Chuck Cheesman

Jade Lounge

2342 SE Ankeny St. Heron Keegan

Jade Lounge

2342 SE Ankeny St. Autumn Drives

Kells

112 SW 2nd Ave. Kells Pipes and Drums, Cul an Ti

Kells Brewpub

210 NW 21st Ave. Sami Rouisi

Kenton club

2025 N Kilpatrick St. Booberamapalloozafest

McMenamins Lola’s room 1332 W Burnside All Decades Video Dance Attack

McMenamins Boon’s Treasury 888 Liberty St. NE Floating Pointe

McMenamins edgefield

2126 SW Halsey St. Matt Meighan

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Nicky Croon And The Swinging Richards

Mock crest Tavern

1033 NW 16th Ave. Omnihility, Dead Conspiracy, Hyborian Rage, Bunk Dope, Godenied

Beaterville cafe

Ponderosa Lounge

Star Theater

6000 NE Glisan St. Grateful Buds, Argyle

417 SE 80th Ave. Angel Bouchet

Slabtown

13 NW 6th Ave. Sea Wolf, Kevin Long, Andrian H

The alberta Street Public house

1036 NE Alberta St. Wildish Betty and the Boy, Lefty and the Twin

The Blue Monk

1033 NW 16th Ave. Very Little Daylight Ryan Davidson

3341 SE Belmont St. Cosmic Rose, the Old Growth Souljourner, Steady Riot

The conga club

Branx PdX

The Firkin Tavern

320 SE 2nd Ave. Strength Keeper, Scars of Tomorrow, Ditch Digger, Kingdom Under Fire and Standing on Satellites

3416 N Lombard St. The Prids JC Satan, King Dude, Vice Device

225 SW Ash St. Anarchy in Little Beirut - Best of PDX Punk: The Thornes, The Whiskey Dickers, Celebrity Graves and Many More

Montavilla Station

6000 NE Glisan St. Lynn Conover, Twisted Whistle

4923 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd. Dina y Los Rumberos

The Foggy Notion

1937 SE 11th Ave. The Hoons Mufassa, Ian and the Crushers

2201 N Killingsworth St. Elise LeBlanc and Ara Lee

Biddy McGraw’s

Branx PdX

320 SE 2nd Ave. Mini Blowpony: Leslie and The Ly’s

club 21

2035 NE Glisan St. Ceremony of Sludge

clyde’s Prime rib restaurant & Bar

5474 NE Sandy Blvd. Elite

crystal hotel al’s den 303 SW 12th Ave. Sam Cooper

3435 N Lombart St. Kivett Bednar

Montavilla Station 417 SE 80th Ave. Sockeye Sawtooth

10350 N Vancouver Way Sunny Ledfurd

Secret Society Ballroom

116 NE Russell St. Trashcan Joe

Shaker & Vine

2929 SE Powell Blvd. Laura Berman

Slabtown

1033 NW 16th Ave. Dismantle LA Heathen Shrine, Torture Rack

The alberta Street Public house 1036 NE Alberta St. This Fair City

The Foggy Notion

3416 N Lombard St. Psychomagic, Tough Age, Bath Party

CONT. on page 36

THURSDAY, AY, MARCH 6 A 9pm. 21 & Over

RYAN Y DAVI YAN A DSON AVI NO...IT’S YOU WESTERN FAMILY L LY

FRIDAY, AY, MARCH 7 A 8pm. All Ages

A benefit for the late chris

HAGAN OMNIHILITY HYBORIAN RAGE BUNK DOPE GODENIED ABIOSIS $5.00 at the door.

SATURDAY, AY, MARCH 8 A 7pm. All Ages

h headsplit rekords Presents...

DEAD CONSPIRACY SEASONS OF SUFFERING MORGELLON EXISTENTIAL DEPRESSION SUCCOR $6.00 at the door.

TUESDAY, AY, MARCH 11 A 9pm. 21 & Over

burnside review book release Falafel House: 3 to Late–Night All Ages Shows: Every Sunday 8–11pm Free Pinball Feeding Frenzy: Saturday @ 3pm

March 12, 2014 6:30 pm Pacific Northwest College of Art Swigert Commons 1241 NW Johnson Street Free and open to the public

Alfred Edelman Lecture:

Joy Harjo

Pacific Northwest College of Art in collaboration with Musuem of Contemporary Craft is honored to welcome celebrated author, activist and musician Joy Harjo. Harjo’s lecture is part of Illuminations, a city-wide event series celebrating Native arts and cultures centered around This is Not a Silent Movie at Museum of Contemporary Craft.

WITHIN SPITTING DI DISTANCE OF THE T PEARL P

1033 NW 16TH AVE. (971) 229-1455 OPEN: 3–2:30AM EVERY DAY A AY

HAPPY HOUR: MON–FRI NOON–7PM PoP-A-Shot -A-Shot • Pinb PinbAll • Skee-b Skee-bAll Air hockey • Free Wi-Fi

Willamette Week MARCH 5, 2014 wweek.com

(503) 764-4131 • 3000 NE Alberta

Friday, March 7th

JOHN GORKA

WITH SPECIAL GUEST

ANTJE DUVEKOT Sunday, March 9th

ST. PATRICK’S CELEBRATION WITH

Saturday, March 8th

SUBTERRANEAN HOWL PRESENTS

WEST OF ZANZIBAR

Tuesday, March 18th CELEBRATED ACOUSTIC GUITAIST

PIERRE BENSUSAN

march 5–11

SCREENING + CD RELEASE SHOW WITH BILLYGOAT AND

MUSEE MECANIQUE

Thursday, March 13th

IGNITE TAO! V5 Saturday, March 15th

10TH ANNIVERSARY SHOW

KEVIN BURKE & CAL SCOTT

MUSIC CALENDAR c o u R t E s y o f L i f E o R D E at H P R

Alberta Rose Theatre

THE unFORGETTaBLE FIRE ESCaPE: Solids plays Holocene on Wednesday, March 5. The GoodFoot

March Music Moderne: Resonance Ensemble, Venerable Showers of Beauty Gamelan Ensemble

2845 SE Stark St. The Quick & Easy Boys

The Horse Radish

Hawthorne Theatre

211 W. Main St. Billy D, Issac Turner

WITH

8775 SW Canyon Ln. Get Rhythm

1507 SE 39th Ave. We Are The In Crowd, William Beckett, Set It Off, State Champs, Candy Hearts

The Living Room Theater

Holocene

The Lehrer

FRED ARMISEN SHERMAN ALEXIE Wednesday, March 19th

AN EVENING WITH

MARTYN JOSEPH

341 SW 10th Ave. Chris Brokaw

1001 SE Morrison St. March Music Moderne: Classical Revolution PDX

The Lovecraft

Jade Lounge

421 SE Grand Ave. Volt Divers Synth Party

2342 SE Ankeny St. Djo Fortunato

The Muddy Rudder Public House

Kells

8105 SE 7th Ave. Frame

112 SW 2nd Ave. Brian O’Dell

The Press Club

Lincoln Performance Hall

2621 SE Clinton St. Mitch Gonzales

1620 SW Park Ave.

Daniil Trifonov, Portland Piano International

McMenamins Edgefield 2126 SW Halsey St. Lewi Longmire and Anita Lee Elliot

McMenamins Mission Theater

1624 NW Glisan St. Brunch with Poison Waters & Friends

McMenamins Ringlers Pub 1332 W Burnside Bluegrass Sundays

Mississippi Pizza

3552 N Mississippi Ave. Anthemtown Open Mic

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Like a Villain, Edna Vasquezs Quartet

Plews Brews

8409 N. Lombard St. Open Mic

Rontoms Portland

600 E. Burnside St. Souvenir Driver, Thomas Mudrick

Roseland Theater

8 NW 6th Ave. G-Eazy, Rockie Fresh

Slabtown

1033 NW 16th Ave. Grand Style Orchestra

The Firkin Tavern 1937 SE 11th Ave. Open Mic

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St.

cont. on page 38

The Tonic Lounge

AN EVENING WITH

PAULA COLE

Saturday, March 22nd

LADIES N JAZZ SAEEDA WRIGHT, JAMELIA PAYNE, TAMARA STEPHENS & KEISHA BLOSSOM CHIDDICK

Thursday, March 27th

WOMEN WITH THE BLUES

TRACE BUNDY + SUNGHA JUNG

ANNE WEISS, MARY FLOWER, JANICE SCROGGINS, LARHONDA STEELE AND LYNNANNE HYDE Friday, March 28th

UKULELE EXTRAVAGANZA!

Saturday, March 29th

LIVE WIRE RADIO

ANNABELLE GURWITCH + CUMULUS Tuesday, April 1st

Sunday, March 30th

SOLAS

+ COLLEEN RANEY & HANZ ARAKI

TOMMY CASTRO

& THE PAINKILLERS UMBRELLA FESTIVAL April 3 – 6 NIGHT 1 CIRCUS AND SWING WITH WANDERLUST CIRCUS

FOUR NIGHTS!

NIGHT 2 CLOWNS AND COMEDY DAY 3 MATINEE THE NEW GENERATION NIGHT 3 ADULT CABARET NIGHT 4 GRAND FINALE WITH VAGABOND OPERA, EL RADIO FANTASTIQUE + MORE!

for info and tickets visit

AlbertaRoseTheatre.com 36

Willamette Week MARCH 5, 2014 wweek.com

Tillicum Restaurant & Bar 8585 SW BeavertonHillsdale Hwy. Bridge City Blues Band

Tom McCall Waterfront Park

2 SW Naito Pkwy. Portland Market: Fleur Jack

BAR SPOTLIGHT JEREK HoLLEnDER

Friday, March 21st

Thursday, March 20th

3100 NE Sandy Blvd. Richie Ramone and Madame Torment Lost Tapes

White Eagle Saloon 836 N Russell St. The Student Loan

Wilf’s Restaurant & Bar 800 NW 6th Ave. Anandi Trio

Wonder Ballroom

128 NE Russell St. Malt Ball III: Red Fang, Woolen Men, Hot Victory, Campfires, Summer Cannibals, Your Rival, St. Even, Melville

Sun. MaRCH 9 alberta Rose Theatre

3000 NE Alberta St. Kevin Burke and Cal Scott

arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall 1037 SW Broadway Hilary Hahn

ash Street Saloon

225 SW Ash St. Brut, Cannabidroids, Pending Black

Blue Diamond

2016 NE Sandy Blvd. Kevin Selfe and the Tornadoes Jam Session

Cadigan’s Corner Bar 5501 SE 72nd Ave. Portland Casual Jam

Calapooia Brewing 140 Hill St. NE Blues Jam

Crystal Hotel al’s Den 303 SW 12th Ave. Matt Zeltzer

Doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St. Doug Fir Gospel Brunch

Evans auditorium

0615 S.W. Palatine Hill Road

BREAKING KAYFABE: There’s an obvious metaphor that applies to Trebol’s rebranding as Luchador (4835 N Albina Ave., 517-9347, luchadorpdx.com). Here, an unspectacular Mexican restaurant dons a mask and transforms into a loungey margarita bar. But anyone familiar with the art of lucha libre will find the comparison flimsy. In Mexico, professional wrestlers, or luchadores, are legitimate folk heroes, and their elaborate masks aren’t just theatrical disguises or gimmicks but representations of an entire identity. Dudes wear them to funerals—sometimes even their own. Luchador doesn’t have nearly that level of commitment. Really, it’s the same place with a new logo. Trebol’s Kenny Hill and new partner Justin King have adjusted the menu toward smaller plates and refocused the emphasis on cocktails. But other than the single row of wall-mounted masks, the décor is largely unchanged, and despite the addition of a maroon-colored pool table and a daily “power hour” offering $1 PBRs and tequila shots, the atmosphere is still more “pretentious dinner spot” than “laid-back watering hole.” The drinks are fine—the blood-orange margarita is fruity without being overpowering, and the chile de árbol-infused Chupacabra burns without leaving a mark—but this can’t help but feel like a missed opportunity. Portland needs a lucha libre bar (don’t ask why—it just does), but Luchador blows its highspot. Look it up, marks. MATTHEW SINGER.

A new App from Willamette Week. Coming soon.

The cityâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s most comprehensive calendar, now in the palm of your hand.

Willamette Week MARCH 5, 2014 wweek.com

march 5–11

Courtesy of HigH road touring

MUSIC CALENDAR

JUnKYaRD DoGS: Moistboyz plays Doug Fir Lounge on Thursday, March 6. U SCO, the Ax, Hang the Old Year

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St. Ritual Control Warcry, Mongoloid

The Muddy Rudder Public House 8105 SE 7th Ave. Irish Music

The Tonic Lounge

Diabetes & Nutrition, Naturally NCNM Clinic Open House Saturday, March 8, 2014 • 1:30 – 5:00 p.m.

3100 NE Sandy Blvd. Christian Mistress, Lord Dying, Sons of Huns

The Village Ballroom 700 NE Dekum St Gustafer Yellowgold’s Show

Tom McCall Waterfront Park

2 SW Naito Pkwy. Portland Market: Kenny Lavitz and Carley Baer

Vie De Boheme 1530 SE 7th Ave. Sky in the Road

White Eagle Saloon

836 N Russell St. Hart & Hare Coastlands

Mon. MaRCH 10 arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall

1037 SW Broadway Hilary Hahn

WHAT CAUSES DIABETES?

FREE PRESENTATIONS:

What can you do to prevent diabetes? Learn valuable tips and receive useful nutrition handouts from ND residents, and senior ND and Chinese medicine students.

1:30 p.m.

• • • •

Nutrition Movement What is Diabetes Preventing and Reversing Diabetes

2:45 p.m.

4:00 p.m.

What is diabetes and how can naturopathic medicine treat it? Get the straight scoop from a naturopathic physician. What is classical Chinese medicine and how can it help you? Learn about this ancient medicine from a licensed acupuncturist. Diabetes panel (“Ask the Doctor”). Your diabetes and nutrition questions answered by natural medicine professionals.

Blue Diamond

2016 NE Sandy Blvd. Sumo

Corkscrew

1665 SE Bybee Ave. Open Mic

Crystal Hotel al’s Den 303 SW 12th Ave. Matt Zeltzer

Jade Lounge

2342 SE Ankeny St. Joe Baker’s Jelly Roll Jamboree Alligator Feet, Joe Baker, Bambazoo Rhythm Boys, Eric Vanderwall

Kells

112 SW 2nd Ave. Brian O’Dell

Kelly’s olympian

The NCNM Clinic is located at the west end of the Ross Island Bridge. For directions, visit www.ncnm.edu and click on “Quick Links.” 3025 SW Corbett Avenue, Portland, OR 97201 • 503.552.1551

Willamette Week MARCH 5, 2014 wweek.com

426 SW Washington St. Eye Candy VJs

Lincoln Performance Hall 1620 SW Park Ave. Quatuor Ebene

McMenamins Edgefield

2126 SW Halsey St. Skip VonKuske’s Cellotronik

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Cayucas, Miner

Plews Brews

8409 N. Lombard St. Med Monday

Pub at the End of the Universe 4107 SE 28th Ave. Open Mic

Star Bar Portland

639 SE Morrison St. Metal Monday

The Blue Monk

3341 SE Belmont St. Bunker Sessions Open Mic

The GoodFoot

2845 SE Stark St. Sonic Forum Open Mic Night

The Muddy Rudder Public House 8105 SE 7th Ave. Lloyd Jones

The old Church

1422 SW 11th Ave. March Music Moderne: Cascadia Composers

White Eagle Saloon 836 N Russell St. Panterface

TUES. MaRCH 11 Blue Diamond

2016 NE Sandy Blvd. The Gretchen Mitchell Band

Bossanova Ballroom 722 E Burnside St. Tuesday Blues

Bunk Bar

1028 SE Water Ave. The We Shared Milk & Phantom Ships

Cadigan’s Corner Bar

Duff’s Garage

1635 SE 7th Ave. Dover Weinberg Quartet

Hawthorne Theatre 1507 SE 39th Ave. The Ataris, Authority Zero, Drag the River, Versus the World, No More Parachutes

Jade Lounge

2342 SE Ankeny St. Audio Tattoo

Kells

112 SW 2nd Ave. Danny O’Hanlon

Lincoln Performance Hall 1620 SW Park Ave. Quatuor Ebene

McMenamins Edgefield

2126 SW Halsey St. Pete Krebs

Sellwood Public House 8132 SE 13th Ave. Open Mic

Slim’s Restaurant & Lounge 8635 N Lombard St. Open Mic Night

Suki’s Bar & Grill 2401 SW 4th Ave. Live Music

The Blue Monk

3341 SE Belmont St. The Pagan Jug Band With Special Guests

The Firkin Tavern

1937 SE 11th Ave. Trick Sensei, Urban Sex Legends

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St. Nervosas, Old City

The Lehrer

8775 SW Canyon Ln. Hot Jam Night With Tracey Fordice and The 8-Balls

Valentine’s

5501 SE 72nd Ave. Hip Deep

232 SW Ankeny St Michele Ari, the Darkest Moons

Crystal Hotel al’s Den

White Eagle Saloon

303 SW 12th Ave. Matt Zeltzer

Dante’s

350 W Burnside St. Electric Six, Yip Deceiver, Celebrity Graves

836 N Russell St. Dedere, Thunder Goat

MARCH 5–11 The Jack London Bar

Star Bar Portland

The Lovecraft

The Conga Club

529 SW 4th Ave. Decadent 80s

421 SE Grand Ave. Brickbat Mansion

WED. MARCH 5 Berbati

19 SW 2nd Ave. DJ Seleckta YT Riddim Up Wednesday

CC Slaughters Nightclub & Lounge 219 NW Davis St. DJ Robb Trick

Dixie Tavern

NS 3rd & Couch St. Hump Night

Harlem Portland

220 SW Ankeny St. DJ Jack

Moloko Plus

3967 N Mississippi Ave. King Tim 33 1/3

New Copper Penny

5932 SE 92nd Ave. The Play 4 Posistion DJ Competition

Pub at the End of the Universe 4107 SE 28th Ave. Wicked Wednesdays

Star Bar Portland

639 SE Morrison St. DJ Highway 7

The GoodFoot

2845 SE Stark St. Shafty: A Phish Tribute

The Lovecraft

421 SE Grand Ave. Event Horizon Industrial Dance Night

CC Slaughters Nightclub & Lounge 219 NW Davis St. Hip Hop Heaven With DJ George

Harlem Portland

220 SW Ankeny St. DJ Tourmaline DJ Valen

Moloko Plus

3967 N Mississippi Ave. DJ Sahelsounds

Star Bar Portland

639 SE Morrison St. DJ Barrett

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St. Dirtbag’ Dance Night DJ Bruce LaBruiser and Guests

Analog Cafe & Theater 720 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Pisces Party

CC Slaughters Nightclub & Lounge

219 NW Davis St. DJ Jakob Jay Sweat Fridays

Harlem Portland

220 SW Ankeny St. Lionsden

Holocene

1001 SE Morrison St. VERIFIED: Lil Texas, GANG$IGN$, Tyler Tastemaker, EASTGHOST, Mode7

Moloko Plus

720 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Bubble Up

B.C.’s Bar & Grill 2433 SE Powell Tetsuo

Berbati

19 SW 2nd Ave. Study Hall With DJ Suga Shane

CC Slaughters Nightclub & Lounge 219 NW Davis St. Revolution DJ Robb

Gemini Lounge

6526 SE Foster Rd. DJ’s Ashby Scaggs, Cee White & Brian Todd

Holocene

1001 SE Morrison St. Love in This Club: The Black Madonna, Ben Tactic, Nathan Detroit

Moloko Plus

3967 N Mississippi Ave. DJ Cuica

3967 N Mississippi Ave. Hans Fricking Lindauer Rhythm and Soul Review

Moloko Plus

3967 N Mississippi Ave. Weiss Cube

Star Bar Portland

639 SE Morrison St. Uncontrollable Urge with DJ Paultimore

The GoodFoot

2845 SE Stark St. DJ Magento

315 SE 3rd Ave. Bearracuda Portland

Star Bar Portland

639 SE Morrison St. DJ OverCol

The Conga Club

4923 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd. Tropical Saturday Salsa

The Lovecraft

421 SE Grand Ave. Musick for Mannequins

SUN. MARCH 9 Analog Cafe & Theater

720 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Sensory Bittersweet Productions and PAN-ZEN

Berbati

19 SW 2nd Ave. Sunday Syndrome

CC Slaughters Nightclub & Lounge

639 SE Morrison St. The Bobcat 4923 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd. Reggae VYBZ Sunday

The Lovecraft

421 SE Grand Ave. Rapture DJ Finger Bang & Dungeon Master

MON. MARCH 10 CC Slaughters Nightclub & Lounge 219 NW Davis St. Maniac Monday With DJ Robb

Holocene

1001 SE Morrison St. JD Samson and MEN Lavender Mirror

The Lovecraft

421 SE Grand Ave. Departures DJ Waisted and Friends

TUES. MARCH 11 Analog Cafe & Theater 720 SE Hawthorne Blvd. S.Y.N.T. Weekly Dubstep Night

Berbati

19 SW 2nd Ave. Soundstation Tuesdays Featuring DJ Instigatah and Snackmaster DJ

CC Slaughters Nightclub & Lounge

219 NW Davis St. TNA Tuesdays DJ Jakob Jay

Star Bar Portland

639 SE Morrison St. DJ Scary Jerry

The Lodge Bar & Grill 6605 SE Powell Blvd. DJ Easy Finger

219 NW Davis St. The Superstar Divas DJ Robb

Savoy Tavern

2500 SE Clinton St. Live DJs

COURTESY OF BOND MUSIC GROUP

THURS. MARCH 6 Analog Cafe & Theater

SAT. MARCH 8

Rotture

FRI. MARCH 7

MUSIC CALENDAR

CATHOLIC TASTE: The Black Madonna spins at Holocene on Saturday, March 8. Willamette Week MARCH 5, 2014 wweek.com

Willamette Week MARCH 5, 2014 wweek.com

March 5–11

BRUD GILES

SPRING FEVERS

E R R Y M O U AWA D

PERFORMANCE

ON A BUSY WEEKEND OF THEATER OPENINGS, ILLNESS STRIKES THE STAGE. By w w s ta f f 2 4 3 -2 1 2 2

Normally, spring fever—the condition that turns us into restless little bunnies, with the sexual appetite to match—has nothing to do with actual disease. But that’s not a rule it seems Portland theater companies are bothering to heed. Last weekend, six shows opened on stages across the city, all united by a common thread: illness. The onstage ailments run the gamut from physical to psychological, but in each of these six productions, something is definitely amiss. Like amateur physicians, we set out to assess and diagnose what we saw. The general finding? These characters might be ill, but the season’s offerings look vital.

One Flea Spare

we expect from life. And when the music pulses—the song choices span from M.I.A. to Rage Against the Machine—you’ve never had so much fun in quarantine. REBECCA JACOBSON. Shaking the Tree Studio, 1407 SE Stark St., 235-0635. 7:30 pm Thursdays-Saturdays and 5 pm Sundays through March 22. $18-$22; Thursdays “pay what you will.”

A Small Fire

Affliction: Emily Bridges, a hardheaded and hard–hearted construction boss, slowly takes leave of her senses—literally. First smell goes, then sight, then hearing. It’s like being drunk—but awful. Symptoms: First depression, then epiphanies, with a protracted slackness in the face preceding each new loss. Diagnosis: Were Emily—who is openly contemptuous of both her nurturing husband and her daughter’s cheese-importing fiance—a more sympathetic character, this would be Lifetime movie territory, a pornography of suffering. But Adam Bock’s play is less interested in her pain than her redemption, and her ability to connect with her husband and daughter even as her senses depart. While the staging and movement between scenes is terrifically elegant—a Portland Center Stage hallmark—Rose Riordan’s direction seemed a little rushed on opening night, and much of the tense dialogue between Emily (Peggy J. Scott) and her mostly estranged daughter (Hollye Gilbert) was clipped and forced. Scott’s tried-on feistiness and belated emoting hit a few too many false notes. As a consequence, the emotional center moves from Emily to Tom Bloom’s Mr. Bridges, as he reacts to her plight. His charisma,

OWENCAREY

Affliction: Bubonic plague. Symptoms: Black marks on the neck and hands, violent vomiting, a terrible rotting stench, lunacy. Diagnosis: The subject of Naomi Wallace’s 1995 play might be bodily decay, but in many ways One Flea Spare is driven as much by the mind as by the flesh. It’s 1665 in London and a patrician couple, the Snelgraves, have discovered that two rogue individuals—a coarse sailor named Bunce and a 12-year-old girl claiming to be the only surviving member of another wealthy family—have infiltrated their estate. That means all four are subject to another monthlong quarantine, enforced by a lecherous, drunken watchman. As he patrols the periphery, the estate becomes a hothouse of sexual transgression, psychological manipulation and defiance of class hierarchies. Wallace’s poetic language can grow frustratingly self-conscious and opaque, so the best moments in this Shaking the Tree production are those that seize the story’s baser, more visceral potential. In one scene, Bunce (a mesmerizing Matthew Kerrigan) thrusts an orange onto Mr. Snelgrave’s outstretched index finger and then pulls it off, squeezing the fruit’s juice into his own mouth. The penetration imagery doesn’t stop there. In another psychosexually blunt interaction, Mrs. Snelgrave (Jacklyn Maddux, oozing emotional and physical distress) describes sticking a finger into an open wound below Bunce’s belt. Though the play is overwritten and the show overlong, Samantha Van Der Merwe’s thoughtful direction still makes this an odd and unsettling study of how the omen of death can pervert all

the motherfucker with the hat

the light in the piazza sadness and simple joys are enough to carry most of the play’s water. Still, what’s most pivotal to the production’s well-being is Bloom’s patience: Again and again he deftly moves out of the way of counterparts determined to step on everyone else’s lines. So when Emily’s naked epiphany finally comes, you don’t really want it. You’d rather see her husband sit back in a deck chair and wait for a pack of pigeons. MATTHEW KORFHAGE. Gerding Theater, 128 NW 11th Ave., 445-3700. 7:30 pm Tuesdays-Sundays; 2 pm SaturdaysSundays; noon Thursdays through March 23. $29-$67.

The Light in the Piazza

Affliction: Brain trauma. Symptoms: Kicked in the head by a pony while young, 26-year-old Clara tends to act like a child, joyously shouting “olly olly oxen free!” in a busy cathedral and suffering a hysterical breakdown after getting lost one night in Florence. Diagnosis: Set in Italy in the early 1950s, Craig Lucas and Adam Guettel’s contemporary musical The Light in the Piazza has all the typical elements of a girl-gone-abroad chick flick. There’s a happenstance meeting between a bright-eyed American tourist and an attractive Florentine boy who doesn’t speak English, their relatives’ amusing meddling, and the will-they-or-won’tthey drama that ensues. But what distinguishes this Portland Playhouse production is the separate love story that unfolds—the one focused on mother and daughter, as the protective parent learns to let go. The music, played simply and beautifully on piano and cello, can be nearoperatic, with lyrics in both English and Italian. Non-Italian speakers have nothing to fear: The performers’ clever asides and facial gestures help reveal meaning, allowing the two languages to shift in and out of each other as easily as the small set is transformed from an Italian cathedral to a hotel room. Supported by a top-notch cast, Susannah Mars and Merideth Kaye Clark work off each other easily. As the mother, Mars captures a sternness that quickly melts into sadness when remembering a past love or when tucking an upset Clara into bed. Clark just as skillfully embodies Clara’s bright curiosity and passion as she runs around stage, smiling and dancing at the wind and the flowers, or crying and raging at her mother for saying “no.” These relatable moments of unconditional love often shine over a more traditional—though still very sweet—romance. KAITIE TODD. Portland Playhouse, 602 NE Prescott St., 488-5822. 7:30 pm WednesdaysSaturdays and 2 pm Sundays through March 30. $32-$36.

the caretaker

The Motherfucker With the Hat

Affliction: Drug addiction. Symptoms: Most of the characters in Stephen Adly Guirgis’ 2011 comedy are drug addicts. Three are in recovery, but that doesn’t mean they’re any less unhinged. Diagnosis: As The Motherfucker With the Hat opens, main character Jackie (John San Nicolas), a recovering drug addict on parole, enters his bare-bones apartment with nearboundless energy. He’s landed a job and feels buoyed by the promise of a fresh start for himself and his childhood sweetheart Veronica (Diana DeLaCruz). But that fades when he notices an unfamiliar man’s hat on the coffee table. It’s like “motherfucking Zorro leaving his Z” all over the place, and Jackie slumps into an emasculated wreck. With his bad-boy carriage and fiery eloquence, Jackie bumbles through entertaining tantrums on his search for the titular motherfucker, relying on his AA sponsor Ralph (Victor Mack) and cousin Julio (Gilberto Martin del Campo, infectiously hilarious). As the plot develops and real drama unfolds, though, the script’s perky sarcasm becomes tedious, and Ralph’s eruptions grow tiresome. Yet this Artists Rep production, directed by Kevin Jones, still manages to tell a surprisingly lighthearted and often very funny story of drug abuse. It’s most effective when highlighting how addiction tips the power dynamics between lovers or sponsors and sponsees. In a strong cast, Val Landrum gives an especially moving performance as Victoria, Ralph’s exsponsee and unhappy wife. When she comes onto Jackie after getting drunk and high, she confesses her regrets with the pained insight of a longtime addict and then strokes his neck, as mournful as she is desperate. LAUREN TERRY. Artists Repertory Theatre, 1515 SW Morrison St., 2411278. 7:30 pm Wednesdays-Sundays and 2 pm Sundays through March 30. $25-$55.

King Lear

Affliction: In the words of Lear himself, “O, that way madness lies.” Symptoms: Figurative blindness in the case of Lear, who’s blinded by his insanity. And literal blindness in the case of the Earl of Gloucester, whose eyes are plucked from his head. Diagnosis: This compelling Northwest Classical Theatre production— directed by JoAnn Johnson and set on a thrust stage with seating for only 38—draws its audience into a chaotic land ruled by sickness and madness. Power is to be divided among Lear’s three daughters: Goneril (Melissa Whitney), Regan (Brenan Dwyer) and Cordelia (Clara-Liis Hillier). They’re equals in beauty, but only Cordelia embodies purity and filial obedience. King Lear (Ted Roisum) speaks with a

booming voice, making the audience jump to attention. Roisum first plays Lear as an infuriated, rigid man who shakes his cane at his “thankless children.” He demands devotion from his daughters and expresses his discontent with Cordelia’s simple adoration by scowling and sneering at her. But as the play progresses, Lear becomes something of an innocent babe who recognizes his cruelty and inevitable mortality. The impeccable costuming conveys a character’s purity or wickedness—white glittering robes for Cordelia, red for Lear, and opulent purple and green for the greedy Regan and Goneril. KATHRYN PEIFER. Shoe Box Theater, 2110 SE 10th Ave., 971-244-3740. 7:30 pm ThursdaysSaturdays and 2 pm Sundays through March 30. $18-$20.

The Caretaker

Affliction: Mental illness, self-delusion, general remove from reality. Symptoms: In Harold Pinter’s 1960 masterpiece, all three characters experience some sort of mental plight. Aston is detached and cognitively sluggish due to electroshock therapy. His brother Mick is a batty sociopath. And then there’s Davies, the coughing, stinking vagabond they bring home. Diagnosis: You think you can lay down anything as reductive as a diagnosis on a Pinter play? The Caretaker scarcely has a plot: A tramp stays at a fetid London flat— evocatively rendered here with water-stained walls, piles of paper and a discarded shopping cart—and interacts with two brothers in ways alternately mundane and bizarre. Younger brother Mick (Jeffrey Jason Gilpin) is a neon-hued maniac clad in orange and lavender, his hair a slicked-back, bleach-blond helmet. He darts about the stage like a razor, his moods and motives shifting like quicksilver. As the dark-haired, lumbering Aston, meanwhile, Jacob Coleman moves as if in slow-motion. But the real star of this Imago production is a near-unrecognizable Allen Nause, a twitchy, stuttering lump buried under dirty rags. Nause imbues the character with underlying sadness and wicked humor, whether he’s modeling a ridiculouslooking burgundy smoking jacket or insisting on matching laces for the shoes he’s been gifted. Davies might be a foul-mouthed, racist ingrate, but in Nause’s hands, he’s profoundly human. Swiveling from scabrously comic to deeply haunting, this production solves no mysteries and heals no wounds. Which is probably the way Pinter would have wanted it—if he ever would have said as much. REBECCA JACOBSON. Imago Theatre, 17 SE 8th Ave., 231-9581. 7 pm Thursdays and Sundays and 8 pm Fridays-Saturdays through March 23 (no show March 6). $17-$25.

Willamette Week MARCH 5, 2014 wweek.com

March 5–11

= WW Pick. Highly recommended. Most prices listed are for advance ticket sales. At-the-door increases and so-called convenience charges may apply, so it’s best to call ahead. Editor: REBECCA JACOBSON. Theater: REBECCA JACOBSON (rjacobson@wweek.com). Dance: AARON SPENCER (dance@wweek.com). TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit information at least two weeks in advance to: rjacobson@wweek.com.

THEATER OPENINGS & PREVIEWS Crimes of the Heart

Lakewood takes on Beth Henley’s 1980 Pulitzer Prize-winning comedy about three sisters—including one who’s just shot her husband in the stomach and another who’s fresh out of the loony bin—reuniting in Mississippi. Lakewood Center for the Arts, 368 S State St., Lake Oswego, 635-3901. 7:30 pm Thursdays-Saturdays; 7 pm Sundays, March 9, 16 and 13; 2 pm Sundays, March 16 and 30 and April 6 and 13. $30-$32.

Independent Women

Remember the days of Destiny’s Child? Those halcyon years when Beyoncé didn’t just perform with Kelly and Michelle as a Super Bowl gambit? Transport yourself back to 2000, to the release of Independent Women Pt. 1. That album is where Social Sciences, a new group headed by Ashley Hollingshead, found inspiration for its first production. The performers reached back further, too, to the emergence of Rosie the Riveter and the mass entrance of women into the workforce during World War II. The result is a show that mashes together found text, original writings, song and, of course, bangin’ dance moves to explore evolving ideas of what it means to be an independent woman. Action/ Adventure Theatre, 1050 SE Clinton St., socialsciencesproductions.com. 8 pm Thursdays-Saturdays through March 22. $15; Thursdays “pay what you will.”

Lear

Hillsboro’s Bag & Baggage has made a name for itself with its unusual and often daring adaptations of Shakespeare. This one has been a longtime coming—artistic director Scott Palmer first presented this adaptation of King Lear in Scotland a decade ago, and he’s just now bringing it across the pond. Palmer’s generously reworked script draws from Shakespeare as well as other texts, scrapping the larger politics and zeroing in on the relationship between a crazy king and his daughters. There’s also an original score, performed live by Bridgetown Orchestra’s Tylor Neist. The Venetian Theatre, 253 E Main St., Hillsboro, 345-9590. 7:30 pm Thursdays-Saturdays and 2 pm Sundays through March 23. $20-$30.

Loss Machine

Risk/Reward brings in Seattleite Kyle Loven for a one-man show, in which he creates a puppet show in an intricate, Rube Goldberg-esque contraption. Like an elaborate dollhouse furnished by hoarders, the machine is filled with junk sculptures and found objects: sock puppets, disembodied hands, a stuffed gray rat. Loven tugs on levers and pulleys to make the magic happen. Artists Repertory Theater, 1516 SW Alder St., 451-6569. 7:30 pm FridaySaturday and 5 pm Sunday, March 7-9. $18-$20.

Mom Baby God

Madeline Burrows, a recent Hampshire College graduate, went undercover in the anti-abortion movement in 2011, emerging with a one-woman show that melds activism and live theater to argue for women’s reproductive rights. Refuge PDX, 116 SE Yamhill St., mombabygod.com. 8 pm WednesdayThursday, March 5-6. $15-$18.

Playback Theater

Audience members tell stories, which Playback’s actors and musicians improvise on the spot. This month’s show is all about sex. Action/Adventure Theatre, 1050 SE Clinton St. 719-6328. 10:30 pm Saturday, March 8. $10-$12.

Urban Tellers

Portland Story Theater presents true tales by seven different tellers. Hipbone Studio, 1847 E Burnside St. 8 pm Saturday, March 8. $15.

ALSO PLAYING Aida

Originally optioned by Disney from a children’s storybook—which was itself based on the Verdi opera of the same name—Elton John and Tim Rice’s Aida retains all the depth of an animated feature, with the erotic undercurrent of a Danielle Steel novel. Sure, the slave girl may actually be a Nubian princess, but you can still take her roughly in your palace bedchamber. Stumptown Stages’ adaptation embraces the campiness, yet it’s more humorous than was likely intended. In the titular role, Joann Coleman nearly channels Oprah Winfrey, with all the fierce enthusiasm of an enslaved princess giving away free cars. Her captor and lover, an Egyptian soldier named Radames (James Langston Drake), isn’t exactly bored, but he doesn’t seem passionate enough to commit treason, and there’s an overall lack of chemistry between the star-crossed lovers. Some of the best performances are found in the supporting roles, including Joy Martin as Princess Amneris, a shallow blonde who (surprise!) ultimately learns about her own self-worth, and Antonio Tillman as the effeminate houseboy Mereb. Even though we know how it’s all going to end, it still makes for an enjoyable Disneyland ride. PENELOPE BASS. Brunish Theatre, 1111 SW Broadway, 381-8686. 7:30 pm Thursdays-Saturdays, 2 pm Saturdays-Sundays through March 9. $25-$40.

Ardiente Paciencia

Miracle Theatre’s production of Antonio Skármeta’s Ardiente Paciencia—Spanish for “burning patience”—is a dizzying and viscerally funny exercise in metaphors and layers. For the young Mario and Beatriz, patience is what they lack: Their burning desire leads to a child, but they’re not solely to blame. Chilean poet Pablo Neruda, played by the regal Enrique E. Andrade, is Mario’s poetic and romantic mentor as he pursues Beatriz in the small fishing village of Isla Negra. Though the all-Spanish production, supertitled in English, skimps on Neruda’s quirks, his humor and capacity for love suffuse the show. MITCH LILLIE. Miracle Theatre, 525 SE Stark St., 236-7253. 7:30 pm Thursdays, 8 pm Fridays-Saturdays and 2 pm Sundays through March 8. $17-$26.

Bo-Nita

“You’ve got to find your own personal beat,” says Bo-Nita, the titular teenager of Portland Center Stage’s one-woman production. Written by Seattle playwright Elizabeth Heffron and directed by Gretchen Corbett, Bo-Nita follows the spunky 13-year-old and her mother, Mona, as they react to discovering Bo-Nita’s sort-of stepfather lying dead on the floor. Outrageously dysfunctional chaos ensues as the mother-daughter duo tries to hold everything together the best way they know how—a plan involving fishnet stockings and a bellydancing costume. Kate Eastwood Norris deftly embodies six characters, one moment loose and gangly and awkward as Bo-Nita, and seconds later adopting the stern intonation of a mother not to be questioned. More often than not, though, heavy subject matter lurks behind the laughs. Even when Bo-Nita’s personal beat is buoyant, this remains a complex dance with a dark bite. KAITIE TODD. Gerding Theater, 128 NW 11th Ave., 445-3700. 7:30 pm TuesdaysSundays; 2 pm Saturdays-Sundays; noon Thursdays through March 16. $40-$55.

Gidion’s Knot

The setting is the epitome of pedagogical order. Posters of Hindu deities line

Willamette Week MARCH 5, 2014 wweek.com

the walls, a giant bottle of hand sanitizer sits sentry on the teacher’s desk, buckets of markers top the tables. But in Johnna Adams’ Gidion’s Knot, this cheery classroom becomes a battlefield. A fifth-grader named Gidion has been suspended for mysterious reasons, and his mother, Corryn, stops by for a parent-teacher conference. Corryn is a blowsy, distraught match for the evasive teacher, and understandably so, as the details surrounding Gidion’s suspension trickle agonizingly out. But what could be a didactic, hot-button debate is instead a sophisticated and openended discourse that plays out in real time, with the clock tick-tocking on the wall. The women’s conversation moves from a recitation of Gaelic poetry—all “fucking and fighting,” Corryn says, in a bit of foreshadowing—to a discussion of adolescent sexuality to questions of creative expression and censorship. Dana Green and Amy Newman, the only actors in this taut Third Rail production, are simultaneously sympathetic and detestable, and they maintain the play’s tension through its many pauses and halts. REBECCA JACOBSON. CoHo Theater, 2257 NW Raleigh St., 235-1101. 7:30 pm Thursdays-Saturdays and 2 pm Sundays through March 15. $27.

corribtheatre.org. 7:30 pm MondaysWednesdays through March 5. $25.

Tartuffe

Molière’s 17th-century comedy Tartuffe gets a Texas twang and country tunes in this rollicking Post5 Theatre production directed by Tobias Andersen. It’s the story of unyielding patriarch Orgon (Keith Cable), who is entranced by Tartuffe (Garland Lyons), a slimy charlatan who wears a veneer of religious zeal and lusts after Orgon’s wife, Elmire (Christy Drogosch). The cast turns the rhymed verse into something conversational, and all the while maintaining their Texan accents. As the maid, Sarah Peters is relentless with snarky stabs and jabs that steer everyone to the truth. Lyons’ performance as Tartuffe is marvelously disgusting: He’s

a sleazeball you love to hate. The production is livelier than the rowdiest of parties, amped up by live guitar, violin and yodeling, and it toys with questions of piety and morality while inciting genuine laughter. KATHRYN PEIFER. Milepost 5, 850 NE 81st Ave., 971-2588584. 7:30 pm Fridays-Sundays through March 16. $15 Fridays-Saturdays; “pay what you can” Sundays.

Zombie in Love

Proving the zombie craze knows no age boundaries, Oregon Children’s Theatre stages a world-premiere musical about a lonely, brain-eating boy who just wants to find the girl of his undead dreams. Best for kids 4 and up. Winningstad Theatre, 1111 SW Broadway,

CONT. on page 43

PREVIEW KAROLINA BIESZCZAD STIE

PERFORMANCE

Let A Hundred Flowers Bloom

From the beginning, Let a Hundred Flowers Bloom is a romance, a politically driven tale and a riveting comedy. Take the play’s prologue: The narrator, a vivacious author of gay Marxist porn named Puppy, tells a politico-erotic story titled Mein Cock. The action is set in the mid’90s, as AIDS drugs are improving, and playwright David Zellnik introduces us to a group of gay men and examines how they deal with uncertainty and instability. As narrator Puppy, Matthew Kern can be exhaustingly flamboyant, lacking subtlety during the more sincere moments. But the script’s philosophical musings, Paul Angelo’s exuberant direction and the sheer energy of the rest of Defunkt Theatre cast keep things engaging. The production’s tone is far from brooding, with plenty of cheesy porno music and a campy sex scene—or two, if you count a handy in the back of a Payless shoe—store thrown in for good measure. LAUREN TERRY. The Back Door Theater, 4319 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 481-2960. 7:30 pm Thursdays-Sundays through March 22. “Pay what you can” Thursdays and Sundays, $15-$25 sliding scale Fridays and Saturdays.

Nashville Hurricane

In this one-man show, Chase Padgett spins a tale of a guitar-playing savant, all the while doing plenty of fingerpicking himself. Curious Comedy Theater, 5225 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 477-9477. 8 pm Friday-Saturday through March 14.

A Night in November

Irish playwright Marie Jones’ A Night in November charts the political awakening of a Belfast man named Kenneth. Played in this Corrib Theatre production by the loose-limbed Damon Kupper, Kenneth is a welfare clerk who’s as dutiful in the disgruntled rigmarole of his government job as he is in his rigid, practiced Protestantism. But when dragged to a soccer match by his crass bigot of a father-in-law—Kupper feigns leaning out a car window to suck on a cigarette, his voice turning wet and gruff—Kenneth has a revelation so concussive it’s a wonder he wasn’t struck on the head with a rogue ball. Though not wholly implausible, it’s a crisis of conscience that smacks Kenneth all too rapidly. Worse, the script overloads him with a series of shell-shocked musings. The good news is that Kupper has an ebullient, winning presence, and in the second act—when Kenneth decides to hop across the pond to watch the Republic play in the World Cup—he’s able to shake off his character’s heavyhanded philosophizing. Now light on his feet, his face red and beaded with sweat, Kupper singlehandedly captures the conviviality of a mildly tipsy Aer Lingus flight and an utterly sloshed New York City bar—no mean feat, considering he’s on a tiny, bare-bones stage in the upstairs banquet room at Kells. However briefly, we’re able to forgive the script’s glib resolutions and give over to the game’s “bloody good craic.” Kells Irish Pub, 112 SW 2nd Ave.,

gHostest WitH tHe mostest: Butoh artist Joan Laage.

METAL MACHINE MUSIC (KOGUT BUTOH) When Lou Reed’s album Metal Machine Music came out in 1975, critics assailed it as a contemptuous joke, a smack in their faces and an immature scrape with career suicide. Now, the album, a 64-minute barrage of guitar feedback that Rolling Stone reviewed as “guaranteed to clear any room of humans in record time,” is considered one of the forerunners of noise music. Performance-art dilettantes wouldn’t bat an eye at the album today. Arrhythmic and discordant, it’s a perfect accompaniment for abstract movement, which is why Bob Priest instinctively paired it with butoh for his March Music Moderne festival this weekend. Butoh, likewise controversial, emerged in Japan after World War II, partially as a critique of the superficiality of the contemporary dance scene at the time. Traditionally performed by dancers in white body paint with slow, grotesque movements, it’s dark expressionism that resists definition. Seattle butoh artist Joan Laage, whom Priest asked to perform, calls it a “slippery fish.” “It’s not about form,” says Laage, who performs as Kogut Butoh. “It’s about forming, and in that way it’s kind of life at its most basic. Life is about change and the sense of transformation.” Laage and two other performers, Sheri Brown and Alan Sutherland, will move through Southeast Portland’s Three Friends Coffee House— well-known for its radical faerie gatherings—dressed in white kimonos and surrounded by candles. To inspire their movement, they meditated on the Buddhist mudra hand positions and Japanese ukiyo-e paintings. They interpret the four sections of the album differently, even though to people who haven’t developed an ear for noise music, the whole thing sounds the same. “You have to enter a suspended-time world where the eternal present is each second as it’s going by,” Priest says. “If you’re thinking of it as a direct progression, like we’d normally think of for a Beethoven symphony or Balanchine choreography to Stravinsky, you’re going to miss the point.” Priest admits, even cautions, that the piece is not for the fussy. Most daunting is probably its length. Reed, who died last year, wrote in the album’s liner notes that he hadn’t actually listened to it all the way through. But for the few dozen people who decide to stay on the coffee shop’s well-worn couches until the end, surrounded by puddles of candle wax, Priest promises “an experience unlike anything else they’ve encountered.” AARON SPENCER. Lou reed, with white kimonos and candlelight.

see it: Metal Machine Music is at Three Friends Coffee House, 201 SE 12th Ave., marchmusicmoderne.org. 11 pm Saturday, March 8. Free.

MARCH 5–11

PERFORMANCE

D AV I D R O S E N B E R G

new version of the ErosNyx venue with an “interactive dance party circus experience” that promises EDM, subsonic bass and a scarier version of the cast of Cats. Acrobats, aerialists, dancers and “freaks” are part of this “full-force ﬁlth-fest to win the world back from its robot overlords.” Dress as a freakish animal for a discount. ErosNyx, 2010 SE 8th Ave., 447-8992. 10 pm Saturday, March 8. $10-$15 in advance, $20-$25 at the door. 21+.

Miz Kitty’s Parlour

STEPHEN PETRONIO CO. 228-9571. 2 and 5 pm Saturdays and 11 am and 2 pm Sundays (no show March 9) through March 23. $15-$28.

and secrets. Brody Theater, 16 NW Broadway, 224-2227. 7:30 pm Saturdays through March 8. $9-$12.

COMEDY & VARIETY

Spectravagasm IV: Opiate of the Masses

Be Happy Now, Please!

Barbara Holm unleashes another beseechingly titled standup showcase. The ﬁrst installment of this one features Bri Pruett, Shane Torres, Sean Jordan, Curtis Cook and Jen Tam. The Waypost, 3120 N Williams Ave. 9 pm Saturday, March 8. Free.

The Breen Room

Local funnyman John Breen premieres a new improv show, with a slate of performers assembled in an intriguing way: Breen tapped one of his favorite improvisers to join, who invited another, who invited another and so on, until a quintet came together. Tonight’s show features Breen, Shelley McLendon, Whitney Johnson, Daryl Olsen and Beau Brousseau. Brody Theater, 16 NW Broadway, 224-2227. 9:30 pm Saturday, March 8. $5.

Buffy! A Parody Play

The Funhouse folks present a spoof of the movie that introduced the world to Los Angeles’ favorite teenage vampire slayer. Funhouse Lounge, 2432 SE 11th Ave., 841-6734. 7 pm Thursdays-Saturdays through March 29. $12-$18.

Entertainment For People: New Shit Show

A fresh installment of the variety show, featuring lots of regulars— musician Laura Gibson, ﬁlmmaker Arthur Bradford, actor Vin Shambry, comedian Amy Miller—and special guests. Disjecta, 8371 N Interstate Ave. 8 pm Monday, March 10. $8. 21+.

Fly-Ass Jokes

Another solid slate of standup, featuring headliner Gabe Dinger and sets from Sarah Murell, Adam Pasi and Anne Rimmer Weeks. Brody Theater, 16 NW Broadway, 224-2227. 9:30 pm Friday, March 7. $8.

Funnier Than You

Richie Stratton hosts a monthly standup showcase featuring a slate of local comics. Sky Club, 50 SW 3rd Ave., 223-1375. 9:30 pm every ﬁrst Friday. Free. 21+.

PCS Improv All-Stars

Portland Center Stage puts on what’s virtually guaranteed to be a sweet night of improv. Gretchen Corbett and Gavin Hoﬀman, both excellent actors, will tell stories based on audience suggestions, and then four improv artists—Brad Fortier, Shelley McLendon, Nicholas Kessler and Marilyn Divine—will craft scenes of their own. Somehow it’s all spliced or scrambled together, hopefully to hilarious results. Gerding Theater, 128 NW 11th Ave., 445-3700. 8 pm Monday, March 10. $5-$10.

Portland Secrets

The Brody performers build an improv show based on Portlanders’ anonymously submitted stories

Post5 is back with more late-night sketch comedy, this time battering at everyone’s favorite punching bag, religion. Milepost 5, 850 NE 81st Ave., 971-258-8584. 10 pm Friday-Saturday through March 14. “Pay what you can.” 21+.

Super Secret Show

The Brody has been all about the secrets lately—ﬁrst the improv theater brought back Portland Secrets, asking locals to (anonymously) bare their souls, and now comes this tight-lipped project. All we know is that there will be improv of some sort and, apparently, a big announcement that will even be news to the cast. Brody Theater, 16 NW Broadway, 224-2227. 7:30 pm Thursday, March 6. $5-$8.

Tommy Johnagin

The 2010 runner-up of Last Comic Standing hits Helium for three nights of autobiographical comedy. Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9th Ave., 888643-8669. 8 pm Thursday, 7:30 and 10 pm Friday-Saturday, March 6-8. $15-$27. 21+.

DANCE Burlesque S’il Vous Plait

A fun crowd and playful numbers got this burlesque show to its fourth year. Drag queen Zora Phoenix helms this anniversary show with a lineup that includes classic stripteaser Bayou Bettie, who’s celebrating her birthday before moving to Eugene. Crush Bar, 1400 SE Morrison St., 2358150. 9 pm Friday, March 7. $10. 21+.

Burlynomicon

Burlesquers and a hula hooper take turns on the stage in this monthly show from the producers of Geeklesque. Among them, Morgue Anne, a Seattle burlesque performer with a penchant for horror, is driven crazy by the Necronomicon and escapes from a straitjacket. Alice F land, a circus pixie who’s been part of A-WOL and Cloud City Circus, will work her body line in a Beetlejuice number. The Lovecraft Bar, 421 SE Grand Ave., 270-7760. 9:30 pm Tuesday, March 11. $8. 21+.

Cloud City Circus

Two flow artists return to the troupe for this show: poi performer Michelle Canada, who swings tethered LED weights, and William Kurt Weyland, who uses a range of props, including fire. They join several others, including aerialist Aaron Schallock, LED hula hooper GroovinMegzz, aerial dancer Juniper Lunasri and belly dancer Endymienne, who’s still deciding if she will use swords, candles or fire fans. The Analog Cafe, 720 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 206-7439. 9:30 pm Thursday, March 6. $5. 21+.

Megabounce: Creatures

Wanderlust Circus inaugurates a

Clog-dancing ﬁddler Lisa Marsicek, aka Miz Kitty, hosts this monthly vaudeville show, this time featuring Irish dancer Maldon Meehan and lasso twirler Leapin’ Louie, as well as poetry readings and live jazz. Mission Theater, built in the 1890s, is a perfect venue for this throwback “revusical,” itself now more than a decade old. McMenamins Mission Theater, 1624 NW Glisan St., 2234527. 7 pm Saturday, March 8. $12 in advance, $15 at the door. 21+.

NEWS PG. 7

PDX Fusion

The ﬁrst of three events this year combining the worlds of dance, art, music and spoken word, this multidisciplinary medley focuses mostly on the last. Poet Ariel Zimmer teams up with Eugene dancer Talia Vintzileos for a mix of spoken word and modern dance called Body Language. Other contributions include storytelling mixed with danceable bass and live illustration. The Analog Cafe, 720 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 206-7439. 8:30 pm Saturday, March 8. $10-$15. 21+.

Phoenix Variety Review

Neesie Doss, a self-described cougar, takes the mic for the comedy portion of this monthly variety show from drag queen Zora Phoenix. She’s joined by belly dancers and burlesquers, including Jacqueline Hyde from Seattle, and Dee Dee Pepper, who’s doing a bit with Wanda Bones she describes to producers as “the one where Wanda and Dee Dee beat the shit out of each other.” Kelly’s Olympian, 426 SW Washington St., 228-3669. 8 pm Sunday, March 9. $10. 21+.

The Pole Palace

Students and instructors from the North Portland studio climb, hang and spin on two poles. Owner Melissa Hein has put on her Queens of the Pole show for more than two years, and it’s the only one in town with a male performer, MoNika Ell. Hein and Ell both execute “aerial twistedgrip levitated handsprings,” basically clutching the pole with two hands and lifting their bodies until they’re upside down. It takes a lot of muscle. Star Theatre, 13 NW 6th Ave., 2484700. 8 pm Saturday, March 8. $10 in advance, $13 at the door, $20 VIP. 21+..

Stephen Petronio Co.

Presented by White Bird for the sixth time, more than any other artist, Stephen Petronio’s innovative and audacious work always finds friendly audiences in Portland (and everywhere, really). This time, his company has a three-night run of his powerfully modern Like Lazarus Did, which premiered in New York last spring. There, the high-speed, off-balance movement was paired with slave spirituals sung by the Young People’s Chorus of New York City, part of musician Son Lux’s integral score that ranges from hymnal to thumping bass. Here, the Pacific Youth Choir will help sing the lines that inspired Petronio: “I wanna die, like Lazarus did.” Themes of death, transformation and rebirth saturate the piece, but Petronio also infuses it with his trademark sexual energy thrusting, nearly nude bodies and affinity for visual art, namely Janine Antoni’s installation of a stretcher and body parts hanging from the ceiling. Newmark Theatre, 1111 SW Broadway, 248-4335. 8 pm Thursday-Saturday, March 6-8. $20-$30.

For more Performance listings, visit Willamette Week MARCH 5, 2014 wweek.com

VISUAL ARTS

MARCH 5–11

= WW Pick. Highly recommended. By RICHARD SPEER. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit show information—including opening and closing dates, gallery address and phone number—at least two weeks in advance to: Visual Arts, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: rspeer@wweek.com.

Christopher Rauschenberg: Studio Photography

We tend to have romanticized notions of what an artist’s studio is supposed to look like: brick walls, concrete fl oors, art tools and personal eff ects strewn about in bohemian disarray. This isn’t the kind of artist space Christopher Rauschenberg records in his series Studio Photography. Documenting the studios of artists such as Adrian Chesser, Robert Frank, Chuck Close and his own father, Robert Rauschenberg, Christopher Rauschenberg winds up documenting spaces that are surprisingly wellordered and antiseptic. The best print in the entire exhibition fl ies (literally) in the face of this trend toward OCD decorum, however. It’s a close-up of two dead fl ies lying on an artwork in Susan Weil’s studio. The mundanity of this image is unexpectedly poignant, reminding us how artists routinely commingle profound truths (such as death) with the realities of everyday life. Through March 8. Elizabeth Leach Gallery, 417 NW 9th Ave., 224-0521. 10:30 am. Free.

Francis Bacon: Three Studies of Lucien Freud

It’s a spectacle that brings oldtimey nouns to mind: brouhaha, hubbub, hullabaloo. The appearance of Francis Bacon’s Three Studies of Lucien Freud at the Portland Art Museum has caused quite a stir. But purely as an art object, does the astronomically priced triptych live up to all the Sturm und Drang? In a word, no. Despite its art-historical and economic signifi cance, it’s a pretty drab, fl at exercise in basic psychological portraiture. Bacon sits his friend Freud down in a simple stool in a loose, crass pose. Bacon renders his subject’s body with illustrator-like simplicity and depicts his face in the grotesque contours that were Bacon’s stock and store. He places the stool within a receded cube, a bed frame at its endpoint, before a mustard yellow background. Bacon and Freud fans will no doubt relish the chance to see this relic of the infl uential painters’ complex dynamic, but viewers with tastes running toward more purely optical pleasures will likely leave underwhelmed. The work’s visual symbolism is simplistic, and Bacon’s fl ashy technique, which once held genuine shock value, now comes across as sophomoric and tame. Through March 30. Portland Art Museum, 1219 SW Park Ave., 226-2811.

Group Show

Among these works by artists Joshua Burd, Mackenzie Kuntz, Mr.

Say and Roxanne Patruznick, Burd’s imagery of animals stands out as the most playful, if not always technically ﬂ awless. But, come on, you have to give some props to an artist who explains his artistic rationale like Burd does. “Animals, especially cats,” he deadpans, “hold all the same qualities as humans, but without all the schmuck.” Through March 25. The Goodfoot, 2845 SE Stark St., 239-9292.

Jeffrey Sarmiento: Constructions

Jeﬀ rey Sarmiento’s intricate kilnformed glass pieces are not just literally “constructions,” they’re also deconstructions of cultural identity. A Filipino-American born in Chicago and now living in the U.K., Sarmiento knows a thing or two about the ways in which context shapes our attitudes. In works like Muse and Muscles, he mimics the Ben-Day dots of blackand-white newsprint with sideby-side portraits of a traditionally dressed woman and a preening bodybuilder, both archetypes of a certain kind of beauty across cultures. Implicitly, Sarmiento asks the viewer whether we ourselves, despite our pretenses of authenticity, are always striking some sort of pose. Through May 3. Bullseye Gallery, 300 NW 13th Ave., 227-0222.

Jennifer Mercede: Complete Freedom

If you walk around Portland and pay attention, you’ll encounter Jennifer Mercede’s paintings. Like fellow artists Chris Haberman and Tom Cramer, she is a ubiquitous presence on murals and storefronts and inside gallery windows. But now, in her ﬁ rst show at what she calls “the infamous Mark Woolley Gallery,” she brings such a highly individual approach to each painting, it feels like you’re seeing her work for the ﬁ rst time. This is why she titled the show Complete Freedom. “I decided I didn’t want to have any limits or worries about making this a ‘cohesive body of work,’” she says. “I trusted what came out of me.” The strategy worked. The paintings are the opposite of formulaic; in fact, some are nearly unrecognizable as Mercede’s work. And for an artist still growing and experimenting, that’s a really good thing. Through April 12. Mark Woolley Gallery, 700 SW 5th Ave., Suite 4110, 998-4152.

Laura Ross-Paul: Urban Forest

Laura Ross-Paul is known for her evocative paintings of the human ﬁ gure, but many of the paintings in Urban Forest have no people in them at all, only trees. Ah, but not “only” trees—these are roots and trunks and limbs rendered with an almost supernatural reverence. The looping, arcing

contours recall previous series in which Ross-Paul depicted twin brothers linked by curved tree branches and auras of mysterious energy. This is an artist with a profound transcendentalist relationship to the natural world. Through March 15. Froelick Gallery, 714 NW Davis St., 222-1142. 10:30 am. Free.

PREVIEW

Ryan Reggiani: Sculpture

When is a circle more than a circle? Ryan Reggiani has a way of answering questions like these in his inventive takes on geometric forms. The New York City-based artist turns basic shapes into nuanced iterations of wood, cement, and metal. His pieces are so rigorously structured, they often blur the lines between art object and architecture. March 6-29. Hap Gallery, 916 NW Flanders St., 444-7101.

Tamara English: The Worlds Are Glorious

BABY COUGHING POLITELY BY RALPH PUGAY

Over the past decade, painter Tamara English has charted a course from sumptuous landscapes, rife with tangled vines and fl owers, to mystical semi-abstract iconography to an inspired commingling of the two. In her fi rst showing with Nisus Gallery, she displays her gift for naturalistic color and intuitive composition. Works such as Fortitude feature a mysterious symmetrical motif rising like a fountain above a forest fl oor. In Shimmering, English exploits the rhythm of vertical drips that pour down like streaking rain. These elements—the symbolic and the painterly—combine in the vibrant work titled Praising, which manages somehow to seem playful and profound at the same time. March 8-April 27. Nisus Gallery, 8371 N Interstate Ave., No. 1, 806-1427.

Unveiled: Nudes

In a city with scads of strip clubs and an annual nude bike ride, you’d think a gallery show of nude drawings, paintings and photographs would simply gild the lily (or the fi g leaf). But Unveiled: Nudes manages to extract some new insights out of the age-old trope of the nude female. Chronologically organized, the show begins with a 1920 painting by John Sloan, continues through Matisse and Gaston Lachaise, and fi nally winds up in the present day, with contemporary artists such as Malia Jensen and Joseph Park. Jensen’s most challenging works are photographs of a nude woman draped over tree branches, limp as a corpse, while Park’s Hallucination C looks like the fi gure in Piet Mondrian’s classic painting Evolution has been time-warped into the psychedelic ’60s. Through March 8. Elizabeth Leach Gallery, 417 NW 9th Ave., 224-0521.

For more Visual Arts listings, visit

THANK YOU FROM

TO EVERYONE WHO PARTICIPATED IN

CON G

PORTLAND2014 Oregon only, please.

Where do you find the pulse of Portland? If you ask artsy types, they’re apt to direct you to Disjecta’s ambitious biennial exhibition, Portland2014. The nonprofit began mounting biennials in 2010 to pick up the perceived slack when the Portland Art Museum traded in its long-standing Oregon Biennial for the Contemporary Northwest Art Awards. Those awards, so the thinking went, diluted exhibition opportunities for Oregon artists by opening the applicant field to artists from Washington, Idaho, Montana and Wyoming. Disjecta, by limiting its scope to Oregon, aimed to capture a purer sampling of what’s going on here. The curators were also local: Cris Moss in 2010 and Prudence Roberts in 2012. This year, for the first time, an out-of-state curator, Los Angeles-based Amanda Hunt, is helming the show. She pruned an open call of 300 applicants down to 60 artists, then did studio visits with each. In the end, she chose 15 artists and collaborators for Portland2014, many of them creating new work specifically for the show. Several of those artists—Modou Dieng, Devon A. VanHouten-Maldonado, Blair Saxon-Hill, Kelly Rauer, D.E. May, Jessica Jackson Hutchins and Evan LaLonde—will display artwork in Disjecta’s sprawling headquarters in the Kenton neighborhood. Others will display elsewhere across the city: Ellen Lesperance at Upfor; Travis Fitzgerald, Zachary Davis and Alex Mackin Dolan at the White Box; and Personal Libraries Library at Northeast Alberta Street’s “The Best Art Gallery in Portland.” Finally, Christopher Michlig, John Zerzan, Ralph Pugay and Richard Thompson will show work throughout the city (see biennial. disjecta.org). Publication Studio is producing the show’s catalog, and panel discussions will augment the show every Saturday during its run. Will this far-flung undertaking actually get to the core of this city’s fractured artistic ecosphere? Probably not. The only show to do that during the last 11 years was 2003’s The Modern Zoo, an impossibly wide-ranging, damn-near-out-of-control phantasmagoria of a show that set the standard for eclectic extravagance. But if there’s any entity on the scene today with the resources and curatorial finesse to cut through the Pearl District/First Thursday hype and showcase emerging talents outside the mainstream, it’s Disjecta. Whatever its strengths or failings, Portland2014 promises to be one of the highlights of this year’s cultural calendar. RICHARD SPEER.

SEE IT: Portland2014 is at Disjecta, 8371 N Interstate Ave., 286-9449. March 8-April 27.

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MARCH 5–11

= WW Pick. Highly recommended. By PENELOPE BASS. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit lecture or reading information at least two weeks in advance to: WORDS, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: words@wweek.com. Fax: 243-1115.

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 5 Rene Denfeld

Set within the walls of an old prison and the mind of one of its deathrow inmates who ﬁnds his escape through books, Rene Denfeld’s novel, The Enchanted, follows a woman investigating the prisoners’ pasts to save future inmates from death. Artists Repertory Theatre’s former artistic director Allen Nause will join Denfeld for a dramatic reading from the book. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 228-4651. 7:30 pm. Free.

THURSDAY, MARCH 6 Ismet Prcic

Portland-based author and ﬁlmmaker Ismet Prcic will discuss his acclaimed novel, Shards (which was awarded the 2013 Ken Kesey Award for Fiction), and the recent ﬁlm he co-wrote, Imperial Dreams. AM:PM PR, 2006 SE Clinton St., 232-1015. 7 pm. Free, tickets required.

FRIDAY, MARCH 7 Mohsin Hamid

Part self-help parody and part ragsto-riches story, Mohsin Hamid’s third novel, How to Get Filthy Rich in Rising Asia, feels all the more immediate with you at the center, as the entire novel is written in the second person. You will experience fear, you will fall in love, you will have colossal success and equally epic failure. You will realize the grand connectedness of humanity, or, at the very least, you will be entertained. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 228-4651. 7:30 pm. Free.

SUNDAY, MARCH 9 Dan Berne

Nothing brings people together and tears them apart quite like family, that all-powerful force of love and destruction. For widowed Alaskan ﬁsherman Ray Bancroft, joy comes from raising his granddaughter until his own estranged daughter returns from prison. Portland writer Dan Berne’s debut novel, The Gods of Second Chances, will build you up and break you down, just like family. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 228-4651. 7:30 pm. Free.

MONDAY, MARCH 10 Peter Stark

Because sometimes real life is awesome and inspires computer games where you might die from dysentery, Peter Stark’s new book, Astoria: Astor and Jeﬀerson’s Lost Paciﬁc Empire, follows the threeyear journey of the 1810 Astor expedition. Learn how the explorers battled starvation, the elements and had to cross rivers in covered wagons without losing too many oxen. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 228-4651. 7:30 pm. Free.

The Hidden Lamp

Regardless of whether you believe in the idea of being spiritually “awakened,” it’s hard to ignore the beauty of expression found in stories spanning more than 2,000 years. The Hidden Lamp: Stories From TwentyFive Centuries of Awakened Women is a collection of 100 stories and koans (Zen parables) from women dating back to the time of Buddha and up to the present. Editor Florence Caplow will be joined by contributors Jan Chozen Bays, Gyokuko Carlson, Sallie Tisdale and Jacqueline Mandell. Powell’s on Hawthorne,

3723 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 228-4651. 7:30 pm. Free.

TUESDAY, MARCH 11 Averil Dean and Suzy Vitello

Each having just released new books, local writers Averil Dean and Suzy Vitello will read from their debut novels. Dean’s Alice Close Your Eyes is a psychological thriller of love, obsession and revenge. Vitello, who has been the longtime coordinator of the locally famous writer’s group Dangerous Writing, showcases her own eﬀorts with the young-adult

novel The Moment Before. Broadway Books, 1714 NE Broadway, 284-1726. 7 pm. Free.

Masha Gessen

Russian female punk band and worldfamous rabble-rousers Pussy Riot are out of prison and back at the fight for political reform even after being recently assaulted by Cossack security officials. Having followed members of the band since their 2012 incarceration, Masha Gessen now offers an account of the group of young women that went from artists to revolutionaries in her new book, Words Will Break Cement: The Passion of Pussy Riot. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 228-4651. 7:30 pm. Free.

For more Books listings, visit

REVIEW

SHARON KAY PENMAN, A KING’S RANSOM He spoke no English, sired no legitimate heir, and spent only six months of his 10-year reign on English soil, just long enough to levy taxes to pay for his military adventures in France and the Holy Land. Some historians even argue (almost certainly mistakenly) that he was gay. So why is Richard Coeur de The Lionheart in winter. Lion (the Lionheart) still heralded as one of the greatest monarchs ever to rule England? Sharon Kay Penman started to answer that question in her previous novel, Lionheart, which chronicled Richard’s military prowess during the Third Crusade. Now, in the sequel, A King’s Ransom (Putnam, 704 pages, $35), Penman turns her spotlight on Richard’s political acumen as he struggles to return home in time to thwart his onetime ally (and some say lover), King Philip II of France, who is scheming with Richard’s younger brother, Prince John, to steal his kingdom. Like most historians, Penman says she can find no evidence Richard preferred the company of men in his royal bedchamber, although a sexual encounter with Philip is a major plot point in The Lion in Winter, which she describes in the author’s note as “one of my favorites.” That movie, co-starring Anthony Hopkins as a young Lionheart, continues to color the public’s image of Richard, although the notion he was gay may stem from a misunderstanding of a common medieval custom. Royals of the same sex frequently shared a bed for the night after forming an alliance (as Richard did with Philip against Richard’s father, Henry II, in 1187), but only, Penman writes, to demonstrate their solidarity. In any case, there’s no love lost between Philip and Richard by the time A King’s Ransom opens in 1192. Richard embarks for England after concluding the Third Crusade by signing a peace treaty with his Muslim nemesis, Saladin, that guarantees the safety of Christians visiting Jerusalem. Philip, meanwhile, has already left the Holy Land for France to threaten Richard’s Angevin empire. As with Penman’s four previous novels on the Plantagenet dynasty, A King’s Ransom is not historical romance but historical fiction of the first order, a narrative synthesis of the royal marriages and petty rivalries, the personal slights and gestures of loyalty, the grand deeds and simple twists of fate that shape events. There is the odd, stray anachronism, as when Duke Leopold of Austria and Richard quote Scripture at each other, presumably in Latin, but Penman translates the verses into the familiar English of the King James Bible, which wouldn’t be published for another four centuries. Such flaws are perhaps inevitable in a project of this scope. Instead of history that reads like a novel, Penman achieves something greater: a novel that reads like history. MATT BUCKINGHAM.

Oregon Humanities Center

BOOKS

2013–14 Tzedek Professorship in the Humanities presents

God’s Hotel: A Doctor, a Hospital, and a Pilgrimage to the Heart of Medicine Victoria Sweet, M.D. Thursday, March 6, 2014 7:30 p.m. UO in Portland White Stag Block 70 NW Couch St. The lecture is free and open to the public. No tickets or reservations. Followed by a book sale and signing. Information: (541) 346-3934 or ohc@uoregon.edu. View live-streaming video at:

ohc.uoregon.edu

PNCA EO/AA/ADA institution committed to cultural diversity

BFA JURIED EXHIBITION

Opening First Thursday, March 6 at 6pm March 6 –March 28 The BFA Juried Exhibition highlights select works by students from Animated Arts, Communication Design, General Fine Arts, Illustration, Intermedia, Painting, Printmaking, Sculpture & Video+Sound departments. 1241 NW Johnson Street Free and open to the public

pnca.edu

GO: Sharon Kay Penman visits Powell’s Books at Cedar Hills Crossing, 3415 SW Cedar Hills Blvd., Beaverton, 228-4651, on Tuesday, March 11. 7 pm. Free. Willamette Week MARCH 5, 2014 wweek.com

MUSIC PG. 27

WWEEK.COM MOBILE SITE 46

• BREAKING NEWS • GEO-LOCATING BAR AND RESTAURANT REVIEWS • CITY GUIDES

Willamette Week MARCH 5, 2014 wweek.com

maRch 5–11 FEATURE

= WW Pick. Highly recommended. Editor: REBECCA JACOBSON. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, send screening information at least two weeks in advance to Screen, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: rjacobson@wweek.com. Fax: 243-1115.

3 Days to Kill

Kevin Costner tries to pull a Liam Neeson. PG-13. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Forest, Oak Grove, Pioneer Place, Sandy.

12 Years a Slave

A Steve McQueen’s 12 Years a Slave is

agonizing but not lurid, compassionate but not melodramatic, patient but still thrilling. R. REBECCA JACOBSON. Cornelius, Hollywood Theatre, Oak Grove, Sandy.

20 Feet From Stardom

A- Life is unfair, and the music indus-

try is worse. If there were a rubric to figure out what makes one performer a household name and the other just another name in the liner notes, the history of pop would read much differently. Turning the spotlight on several career backup singers, Morgan Neville’s 20 Feet From Stardom shows, with great warmth and color, what it might sound like. Most are resigned to their roles in the musical ecosystem, content to have sacrificed their own aspirations for the sake of elevating the art itself. Whether that’s noble or a con, Neville never judges. He just lets them sing. And, in a more perfect universe, that would be enough. MATTHEW SINGER. Living Room Theaters, Laurelhurst Theater.

300: Rise of an Empire

D+ Say what you will about Zack

Snyder’s ultraviolent, exceedingly homoerotic 2006 film 300, but the comic-book adaptation delivered exactly what it promised: It was big and dumb, with visual verve of unprecedented elegance (plus a lot of shouting). Eight years later, nobody was exactly clamoring for a sequel to a film that saw its main characters beheaded, yet here we have Noam Murro’s 300: Rise of an Empire, a film that expands the battlefield to the ocean but comes off as a dull, lifeless Xerox of the original. Eschewing most of the story in favor of nonstop carnage (which is probably the right call), Rise of an Empire pits Greek general Themistokles (Sullivan Stapleton) against the Persian navy, led by the bloodthirsty and libidinous Artemisia (Eva Green). What unfolds is a cacophony of severed limbs, exploding bodies and CGI boats that look like they were pulled from an outdated 300 video game. The special effects are the biggest stars of the series, and yet nothing here manages to transport the viewer into the brutal wonderland Snyder concocted. Computeranimated blood spurts look like Play-Doh, the crashing waves of the ocean like something rendered for the GameCube. Eva Green, snarling and heaving, lends life to her scenes, but it’s like she’s in a different movie. For a film about half-naked dudes butchering each other for 100 minutes, Rise of an Empire is torturously lifeless. R. AP KRYZA. Bagdad, Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Mill Plain, Cornelius, Oak Grove, Bridgeport, City Center, Hilltop, Lloyd Center, Pioneer Place, Sherwood, Tigard, Sandy, St. Johns.

American Hustle

A David O. Russell’s American

Hustle—loosely based on the Abscam federal bribery scandal of the 1970s—is a balls-to-the-wall, unbridled love affair with homegrown bullshit and piss-taking. The film’s establishing shot is brilliant in this regard: a humorously long sequence of Christian Bale’s potbellied con man, Irving Rosenfeld, gluing a toupee to his head. When meticulously permed federal agent Richie DiMaso (Bradley Cooper) makes a move on Rosenfeld’s girl almost immediately thereafter, it’s an insult. When he musses his rug, it’s an unforgivable violation. It’s a wild pretzel of a plot: Rosenfeld and mistress Sydney Prosser (Amy Adams) have been caught by DiMaso in an undercover sting and are forced to run confidence rackets for the feds in order to nab other grift-

ers. Halfway through the film, it’s unclear who’s conning whom, but it’s clear everybody’s conning themselves. Really, it’s the sort of flick we’ve rarely seen since the ’40s: a farce with a heart. R. MATTHEW KORFHAGE. Cedar Hills, Clackamas, CineMagic, Mill Plain, Hollywood Theater.

Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues

B- It’s been nearly a decade since Ron Burgundy and the Channel 4 News Team graced the silver screen, but you’d be forgiven for thinking they never left. After a year of anticipation, we’d be forgiven for being sick of the hype. But oh, does Anchorman 2 contain some serious belly laughs, and the instant Ron (Will Ferrell) hits the screen reading nonsense news, goodwill returns. It’s good to have Ron Burgundy back, even if he kind of overstays his welcome. PG-13. AP KRYZA. Laurelhurst Theater.

August: Osage County

C In August: Osage County, Meryl Streep is a pill-popping Tyrannosaurus rex in a black bouffant wig. Julia Roberts is a weather-parched velociraptor in mom jeans. And when these mother-daughter dinosaurs go at it, expect things to break: mostly dinner plates, but also hearts, eardrums and any shred of goodwill that survives in this seriously twisted family. Tracy Letts’ play won raves for its ability to imbue soap opera-style revelations with fiery humor, but John Wells’ movie adaptation just plays as a succession of histrionic showdowns. R. REBECCA JACOBSON. Eastport.

The Autobiography of Karl Krogstad

B [ONE NIGHT ONLY, DIRECTOR ATTENDING] At one point in Seattle filmmaker Karl Krogstad’s surging Autobiography, “KARLKROGSTAD. COM” flashes over wild ’60s car crashes. When you visit the actual website, you find only an image of a camera and a menu on a black screen. Such a simple site couldn’t be more unlike Krogstad’s manic, obsessively self-promotional nature. Here is a man who “dies”—in the Barthesian sense—not five minutes into this epic, rambling montage of a film. At his fake wake, his friends-cum-interviewees play along. “He was like the Indians that rode their horse backwards,” one explains. Another admits, “He could do things with fish that no one could do.” Ripped-off clips from Wallace and Gromit, Big Fish, AC/ DC songs and dozens more obscure sources play up the myth of the man. While Krogstad does have significant screen time, Autobiography is as much about his ability to simultaneously co-opt and inspire his friends to participate in endless filming for no pay. Once a story arc is established— say, his defense in court or his cooking—it immediately skitters into intro sequences from his now off-air TV series The American Avant Garde or clips from his 60-odd films. Yet the effect is invigorating rather than distracting. As Krogstad admits early on in the film, the past is not remembered as a chain of events, and Autobiography remembers Krogstad as purely Krogstad. MITCH LILLIE. NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium. 7 pm Sunday, March 9.

Awful Nice

B- [ONE WEEK ONLY] In the farci-

cal Awful Nice, director Todd Sklar strives for extreme humor in the form of extreme stupidity. Two rival siblings, big brother Jim (James Pumphrey) and little bro Dave (Alex Rennie), are summoned to their father’s funeral. Eager to retrieve their inheritance, they head on a National Lampoon’s Vacation-style voyage to their childhood lake house, a road trip chock-full of punches to the face and little talk of Dad. But skunks, wasps, broken windows and hoarded

CONT. on page 48

COuRTESY OF PRIESTLEY MOTION PICTuRES

MOVIES

PaTTERN PLay: a still from Split Ends.

SALUTE HER SHORTS THREE DECADES ON, JOANNA PRIESTLEY’S ANIMATION IS AS INVENTIVE AS EVER. BY REBEcca JacOBSON rjacobson@wweek.com

When the Portland-born Priestley first dipped into animation in 1983, she made a vow, inspired by independent animation icons Faith and John Hubley, to make a film a year. She’s nearly met that goal, producing 27 shorts in the past three decades. She’s animated paper cutouts, backlit sand, clay sculptures and rubber stamps, touching on themes serious (the prison system), personal (menopause) and playful (her collaborations with slam poet Taylor Mali are particularly whimsical, such as an impassioned ode to the demoted Pluto). Her focus for the past several years, though, has been computer-generated, doggedly abstract films. “It’s so seductive,” she says of abstract animation. “I think it’s very pure because you’re working strictly with line, color, shape and texture. It automatically narrows down the choices you have to make.” Take Split Ends, which Priestley completed last year. Inspired by patterns in nature, architecture and even midcentury wrapping paper, she crafted three minutes of visually hypnotic footage. Set to an atmospheric electronic score composed by Norman, the film is filled with ever-morphing shapes: squirming pink curlicues, filigreed teal snowflakes, purple fleurs de lis that transform into freaky faces, magenta leaves that sprout from the bottom of the screen. Imagine gazing at fancy Victorian-era wallpaper while tripping on acid. In addition to her interests in botany, modern dance and athletics—“I was glued to the Olympics,” she says—Priestley is also fueled by an eagerness to experiment. In the summer of 2012, she and an intern named Jed Bursiak developed an app called Clam Bake. It’s an interactive game, the screen populated by abstract shapes that, when tapped, pop open to eject an 8-ball or burst into confetti. “Making the app was some of the most fun I’ve ever had, really,” she says. Had she been drawn to computer games before? “I’ve played my share of Angry Birds,” she admits. “Angry Birds has good animation. I wouldn’t play it if it had lousy animation.”

Joanna Priestley knows abstract animation can be intimidating. That’s why the independent animator chuckles as she sits before a sluggish Mac in her Northwest Portland studio and hits “play” on her newest project. The first sounds out of the speakers are fart noises, which ring out as colorful dandelions explode onscreen. “Abstract animation is a genre of cinema that can create anxiety in an audience,” says Priestley. “That’s part of the motivation for trying to create humorous elements.” Priestley, 63, has been producing animated shorts for 30 years, and her work will be collected in a retrospective at this weekend’s Portland Oregon Women’s Film Festival. Hailed by the legendary Bill Plympton as “the queen of indepen“I JuST CAN’T dent animation,” her films prove that animaWAIT TO GET tion for adults can be as HERE AND PLAY.” silly and cheeky as the —JOANNA stuff directed at kids. Priestley also speaks PRiESTLEY with an appealing, childlike enthusiasm about her work: “I just can’t wait to get here and play,” she says. Munching on a gluten-free peanutbutter cookie, she explains that her current project draws on things other than flatulence: the colors and lines of Mondrian; the intricate designs of Delft pottery; and the ice forms, crows and First Nations masks she observed during a residency in the Yukon two years ago. Once the fart sounds quiet, dubstep compositions by 29-year-old sound designer Seth Norman—whom Priestley met at Mother’s Velvet Lounge a few years ago and has worked with since—soundtrack pulsing blue waves and bouncing orbs. And the project’s title? Blue Balls. Priestley feigns ignorance before eventually acknowledging the double entendre. “I took this great workshop at SheBop”—the female-friendly sex shop—“called ‘full-bodied fellatio,’ and the subject of blue balls came up,” SEE IT: POWFest’s Joanna Priestley retrospective Priestley says. Though she says she’d already chois at the Hollywood Theatre at 7 pm Sunday, sen the film’s title, the workshop reaffirmed it. March 9. $10. For a full schedule, visit powfest.com. Willamette Week MARCH 5, 2014 wweek.com

MARCH 5–11

COURTESY OF GAS AFTERHOURS PRODUCTIONS

MOVIES

DETROIT UNLEADED Surge—circa 1997—hamper their plan to quickly repair the shithole property, forcing the obnoxious Dave and the irritable Jim to bond. The premise bears a deﬁnite resemblance to the 2008 comedy Step Brothers, as do the relentless insults and slapstick humor. Dave pulls ridiculous stunts, like sneaking into a hotel to gorge on the complimentary breakfast or body slamming himself onto the hood of Jim’s car. Sklar puts on the brakes whenever sentimentality looms, even if, by the end of the trip, it does seem the brothers’ invective has become more heartfelt. R. KATHRYN PEIFER. Clinton Street Theater.

Cascade Festival of African Films

300: Rise Of An Empire (XD-3D) (R) 11:45AM 2:30PM 5:15PM 8:00PM 10:40PM Wind Rises-Dubbed, The (PG-13) 1:00PM 4:10PM 7:20PM 10:25PM Ride Along (PG-13) 11:40AM 2:15PM 4:55PM 7:35PM 10:10PM Robocop (2014) (PG-13) 11:10AM 2:05PM 4:55PM 7:45PM 10:35PM Son Of God (PG-13) 12:30PM 3:45PM 7:00PM 10:15PM Non-Stop (PG-13) 11:50AM 1:10PM 2:35PM 3:55PM 5:15PM 6:45PM 8:00PM 9:30PM 10:40PM Pompeii 3D (PG-13) 2:10PM 5:00PM 7:40PM Pompeii (PG-13) 11:30AM 10:20PM Monuments Men (PG-13) 11:00AM 1:50PM 4:40PM 7:30PM 10:25PM

Mr. Peabody And Sherman 3D (PG) 12:15PM 2:45PM 5:15PM 7:45PM 10:15PM Mr. Peabody And Sherman (PG) 11:00AM 1:30PM 4:00PM 6:30PM 9:00PM Wind Rises-Dubbed, The (PG-13) 12:30PM 4:00PM 7:05PM 10:05PM Monuments Men (PG-13) 11:10AM 2:00PM 4:50PM 7:40PM 10:30PM Non-Stop (PG-13) 11:20AM 2:00PM 4:40PM 7:20PM 10:00PM Son Of God (PG-13) 11:00AM 3:30PM 7:00PM 10:10PM Toe to Toe: Canelo vs. Angulo (PG-13) 6:00PM Pompeii (PG-13) 10:30PM Robocop (2014) (PG-13) 11:05AM 1:55PM 4:45PM 7:35PM 10:25PM

Mr. Peabody And Sherman 3D (PG) 11:55AM 2:35PM 5:10PM 7:55PM 10:35PM Mr. Peabody And Sherman (PG) 11:15AM 1:55PM 4:30PM 7:05PM 9:45PM Frozen (2013) (PG) 11:05AM 4:25PM 10:00PM LEGO 3D (PG) 11:35AM 2:20PM 5:05PM 7:50PM 10:30PM LEGO (PG) 11:10AM 1:50PM 4:30PM 7:15PM 9:55PM Anchorman 2 (R) 1:35PM 7:25PM Endless Love (PG-13) 11:00AM 4:50PM 10:40PM Frozen (2013) 3D (PG) 1:45PM 7:10PM 300: Rise Of An Empire (R) 11:00AM 1:50PM 4:35PM 7:20PM 10:05PM American Hustle (R) 12:15PM 3:40PM 7:00PM 10:15PM 3 Days To Kill (PG-13) 11:05AM 1:55PM 4:45PM 7:35PM 10:30PM 300: Rise Of An Empire 3D (R) 12:40PM 1:20PM 3:20PM 4:00PM 6:00PM 6:40PM 8:40PM 9:20PM

300: Rise Of An Empire 3D (R) 12:00PM 12:40PM 1:20PM 2:40PM 3:20PM 4:00PM 5:20PM 6:00PM 6:40PM 8:00PM 8:40PM 9:15PM 10:35PM 300: Rise Of An Empire (R) 11:20AM 2:00PM 4:40PM 7:20PM 9:55PM Lone Survivor (R) 7:20PM 10:15PM 3 Days To Kill (PG-13) 11:00AM 1:50PM American Hustle (R) 12:20PM 3:40PM 7:00PM 10:10PM LEGO 3D (PG) 11:50AM 2:20PM 4:50PM LEGO (PG) 11:00AM 1:40PM 4:20PM 7:05PM 9:45PM Frozen (2013) 3D (PG) 2:05PM 10:10PM Frozen (2013) (PG) 11:10AM 4:35PM 7:25PM

Pre-shows Thursday night for Need for Speed and Tyler Perry’s Single Mothers Club

Non-Stop (PG-13) 11:20AM 2:05PM 4:45PM 7:30PM 10:15PM Philomena (PG-13) 11:25AM 1:55PM 4:25PM 7:05PM 9:35PM Wolf Of Wall Street, The (R) 12:45PM 4:45PM 8:45PM Mr. Peabody And Sherman (PG) 11:40AM 2:20PM 4:40PM 7:40PM 10:20PM Pompeii 3D (PG-13) 2:20PM 7:50PM Robocop (2014) (PG-13) 11:05AM 2:00PM 4:50PM 7:40PM 10:30PM Son Of God (PG-13) 12:00PM 3:30PM 6:50PM 10:10PM Pompeii (PG-13) 11:35AM 5:15PM 10:25PM Ride Along (PG-13) 11:30AM 2:05PM 4:40PM 7:20PM 10:05PM

300: Rise Of An Empire 3D (R) 12:30PM 1:30PM 3:15PM 4:15PM 6:05PM 7:00PM 8:45PM 9:45PM 300: Rise Of An Empire (R) 11:30AM 2:15PM 5:00PM 7:45PM 10:30PM Mr. Peabody And Sherman 3D (PG) 11:00AM 1:40PM 4:20PM 7:00PM 9:40PM 3 Days To Kill (PG-13) 6:10PM 9:15PM August: Osage County (R) 11:10AM 2:10PM 5:10PM 8:10PM LEGO 3D (PG) 12:25PM 3:15PM LEGO (PG) 11:00AM 1:45PM 4:30PM 7:15PM 10:00PM Frozen (2013) 3D (PG) 2:00PM 7:25PM Frozen (2013) (PG) 11:15AM 4:40PM 10:10PM

Movie times subject to change, call theaters for times Showtimes valid Friday to Thursday 48

Willamette Week MARCH 5, 2014 wweek.com

The festival’s final weekend (rescheduled after last month’s snowstorm) features the Malian documentary Sand Fishers, about men who’ve abandoned their traditional fishing practice to harvest sand and gravel from the river; Mother of George, a drama about Nigerian immigrants in Brooklyn; Virgin Margarida, set at a re-education camp for Mozambican prostitutes in the ‘70s; and two films from Senegalese director Ousmane Sembène, including his 1963 short about a cart driver in Dakar. Portland Community College-Cascade, Moriarty Arts and Humanities Building, Room 104. For full schedule, visit africanfilmfestival.org.

Dallas Buyers Club

A The ﬁrst time Matthew

McConaughey appears onscreen in Dallas Buyers Club, the reﬂex is to gasp. That carved-from-amber beach bod has been whittled down to a toothpick. He’s gaunt, almost insectoid, with a head too big for his neck and skin stretched like plastic wrap around his eyes and Adam’s apple. It’s a transformation mirroring that of McConaughey’s career over the past year: The rom-com lothario has withered away. In his place arrives a performer at his peak, playing an AIDS activist the movies have never seen before: a shit-kicking, homophobic redneck. R. MATTHEW SINGER. Academy Theater, Edgeﬁeld, Kennedy School, Laurelhurst Theater.

Detroit Unleaded

B- [THREE NIGHTS ONLY] It’s a

bold move to attempt another “fresh take” on the boy-meets-girl romantic comedy, but director Rola Nashef has solid artillery with Detroit Unleaded, which centers on ArabAmericans in present-day Detroit. After his father is killed during a late shift at work, Sami (EJ Assi), a ﬁrst-generation Lebanese-American, must disregard his dreams of college in California to run his dad’s 24-hour gas station. When Najla (Nada Shouhayib), a stunning Lebanese girl with blue contact lenses, steals his heart while selling phone cards, the two must reconcile American expectations and Arab traditions. This unexamined element in the Detroit diaspora is fascinating. The actors, mostly Detroit natives themselves, ﬂow easily between Arabic and English, Sami trades his home-cooked meal for a burger in

a takeout Styrofoam box, and his cousin sells amateur rap bootlegs. Unfortunately, this natural sense of comedy is deﬂated by a predictable, chemistry-free romance between the novice main actors. Sami shows no emotional development even after losing his father and grappling with an uncertain future—he’s just a hunky cipher with surfer hair and naive charm. Yet it’s worth getting past the stiﬀ acting for the refreshing exposure to this cultural mix: In one memorable scene, Sami stops to buy Naj a chilled Faygo before they drive into the sunset, while the camera focuses on the evil-eye charm dangling from his rear-view mirror. LAUREN TERRY. Clinton Street Theater. 6:30 pm Friday and 7 pm Saturday-Sunday, March 7-9.

Endless Love

D Endless Love is 2014’s first contribution to the catalog of sexed-up tweenie love dramas, and in all its idealistic idiocracy and over-the-top affirmations of “soulmates,” it best serves as a reminder that Hollywood has completely lost its grip on what a normal relationship actually looks like. Shana Feste’s remake of the 1981 Brooke Shields flop centers on the illfated romance of a nerdy “outcast” and a rough-around-the-edges boy. A flurry of blandly predictable scenes (slow-motion jogs through grassy fields, dramatic reunions in an airport, consummations of love by a roaring fireplace) chase down romance so doggedly that they run it straight out of the film. PG-13. GRACE STAINBACK. Clackamas.

Frozen

B Frozen arrives as an uncomplicated triumph of traditionalism, for better or worse. In this musical-theater retelling of classic Hans Christian Andersen tale The Snow Queen, widescreen 3-D visuals sculpt an endlessly inventive setting of ice palaces and snowcapped peaks, the original songs soar and tickle as needed, and snowman sidekick Olaf giddily beats back the encroaching melodrama. PG. JAY HORTON. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Indoor Twin, Oak Grove, Pioneer Place, Sandy.

Gloria

A Two phrases that should prob-

ably be retired from the English language—“slice of life” and “woman of a certain age”—have both been applied to Gloria, from Chilean director Sebastian Lelio. Neither does justice to this nuanced portrait of a woman who, in her late 50s, goes about the hard work of finding happiness where she can. Nothing about Gloria (Paulina García) is remarkable. She isn’t beautiful or brilliant or quirky. When the weekend arrives, she dresses up and heads to a Santiago bar, where she dances, sometimes by herself and sometimes in the arms of an anonymous silver fox, to sappy Chilean love songs. Everything changes (or does it?) when she meets Rodolfo, a former naval officer and gastric bypass surgery survivor, who sweeps her off her feet. Lelio’s generous pacing allows Gloria’s

story to unfold with grace, and García invests the character with a winning vulnerability. R. DEBORAH KENNEDY. Living Room Theaters.

The Great Beauty

A The Great Beauty begins with a

cannonball, followed closely by a heart attack, and concludes with a 104-year-old toothless nun crawling on her knees up the steps of a church. Paolo Sorrentino’s luxuriously sprawling film is both enchanted and repulsed by the decadence it depicts, a tension that makes for one of the richest cinematic experiences of the year. At the center is Jep Gambardella (a wondrous Toni Servillo), a 65-year-old hedonist who wrote an acclaimed novel as a young man and now spends his days (and nights) living large in Rome. The film is a sensuous feast, scored by haunting choral music and techno mariachi, and marked by appearances by washedup socialites, a blue-haired dwarf, vanishing giraffes and dreadful performance artists, including a woman who runs naked and blindfolded into a stone wall. The loosely connected vignettes can meander, but taken together they compose a fascinating portrait of Berlusconi’s Italy, one that is too consumed by orgiastic terrace parties and neverending conga lines to realize how stagnant it’s become. REBECCA JACOBSON. Living Room Theaters.

Her

B+ And so there’s this computer. It’s

an artificially hyperintelligent operating system that’s half personal secretary, half therapist. It speaks in a naturalistic feminine rasp. It seems to be thinking. You fall in love with her. She falls in love with you. Then she develops the capacity for jealousy. She starts saying things like, “I’m becoming much more than they programmed.” Twenty years ago, this scenario would’ve played as a dystopian nightmare. But in the era of Catfish, where “dating” is an increasingly abstract concept, the premise of Spike Jonze’s Her can serve as the basis for an honest-togoodness relationship drama. Her is, perhaps, a movie that is easier to think about than to watch: It’s overlong, and prone to greeting-card proverbs. But its central thought is one that will only grow more significant as the world becomes a bigger, more alienating place: Is any feeling real, or are we just programmed that way? R. MATTHEW SINGER. Living Room Theaters.

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug

B+ The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug justiﬁes its nearly three-hour runtime not by cramming in tons of story, but by allowing the action pieces to play out with the lunacy of an ultraviolent Looney Tunes short. PG-13. AP KRYZA. Kennedy School, Laurelhurst Theater, Mt. Hood, Valley.

Holy Ghost People

[ONE NIGHT ONLY] In this psychological thriller set in the Appalachian Mountains, a girl goes searching for

MARCH 5–11 REVIEW

C O U R T E S Y O F H B O D O C U M E N TA R Y F I L M S

her missing sister, who may have come under the spell of a snakehandling preacher. R. Clinton Street Theater. 7 pm Wednesday, March 5.

MOVIES

The Hunger Games: Catching Fire

B Taking what initially seemed like a watered-down version of Battle Royale, The Hunger Games series has created a sprawling and very grown-up world for young audiences. As with the first film, Catching Fire goes slightly flat once the actual Hunger Games commence. But in the lead-up to the most violent episode of Survivor imaginable, the director crafts a dense dystopia full of political allegory, media satire and other elements that most YA films consider their core audiences too dumb to handle. PG-13. AP KRYZA. Academy Theater, Indoor Twin, Laurelhurst Theater, Mt. Hood, St. Johns, Valley.

In Bloom

B+ Everyone knows adolescence is

torture, but what if your awkward phase takes place in war-torn Georgia following the collapse of the Soviet Union? You might just get a gun from your sweetheart as a forget-me-not. You might also be married oﬀ to a local thug before you reach 15. In Nana Ekvtimishvili and Simon Gross’ melancholy meditation on innocence lost, it’s 1992 in Tbilisi and best friends Eka and Natia are almost all grown up. They go to school, they ﬁght their way through bread lines, they dance, they yearn, they smoke, they alternately dodge and attract men. They never laugh. They are surrounded on all sides by the menace of hairtrigger men and women who have abandoned all hope for a better life. Blooming has never been so bleak. DEBORAH KENNEDY. Cinema 21.

Inside Llewyn Davis

B+ A down-on-his-luck folk musician

in 1961 New York City, Llewyn (Oscar Isaac) crashes on friends’ squeaky couches, gigs at the Gaslight Cafe and mills about while waiting for his big break. Witnessing all this unfold is, in a word, lovely. That may seem an odd way to describe such a bittersweet portrait of failure and disenchantment, but the Coen brothers are experts in drawing out the bitter and the sweet in nearly equal measure. R. MICHAEL NORDINE. Academy Theater, Laurelhurst Theater, St. Johns, Valley.

The Lego Movie

B+ In The Lego Movie, directors

Phil Lord and Christopher Miller have imagined a world of chaotic bliss. Using a combination of computer and stop-motion animation that keeps the herky-jerky laws of Lego physics in mind, The Lego Movie follows milquetoast construction worker Emmet (Chris Pratt) on a hero’s journey. Emmet is seen as the unwitting prophet who could end the reign of President Business (Will Farrell), a tyrant who believes all creations should be made exactly according to instructions. It comes dangerously close to the pop culture-saturated Shrek model of comedy, but just when the ﬁlm starts becoming too cute, the plot shifts into another nutso action sequence ﬁlled with clever sight gags. PG. AP KRYZA. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Mill Plain, Cornelius, Moreland, Oak Grove, Pioneer Place, Sandy.

Like Father, Like Son

A If Like Father, Like Son were

simply a ﬁlm about two families who discover their 6-year-old boys had been switched at birth, it would solidly ﬁll out its two-hour runtime, especially in hands as capable as director Hirokazu Koreeda’s. But add in melancholic, grayscale cinematography and true-to-life characters, and it’s easy to see why Like Father, Like Son took the Jury Prize at Cannes last May. Living Room Theaters.

Lone Survivor

C Peter Berg’s Lone Survivor

PLEDGING ALLEGIANCE: Brandy Alexander’s newest client has been charged with raping his 12-year-old daughter. Alexander, a public defender in rural Georgia, expects him to tell her why the accusation is wrong, why he is innocent. Instead, he explains in unapologetic detail why he committed the rape. “Every case has a redeeming quality, not necessarily every person,” a colleague tells Alexander, who simultaneously oversees hundreds of similar cases. In the documentary Gideon’s Army, screening as part of the Portland Oregon Women’s Film Festival, we meet three such public defenders. They’re all working in the Deep South, 50 years after the Supreme Court’s Gideon v. Wainwright ruling established the right to counsel for those who can’t afford representation. They’re young and idealistic lawyers challenging the status quo of an overburdened criminal justice system, and their personal concessions are wrenching: We watch Alexander count out $3 in quarters to put gas in her car for the week. Another defender, Travis Williams, tattoos the names of defeated clients on his back. At one point, his girlfriend visits him at the office to discuss a contract they signed in which he agreed to arrive home by a certain hour. Director Dawn Porter’s approach is appropriately austere, with no voice-over narration. The tone leaves viewers with the same somber ambiguity the subjects of Gideon’s Army face every day, in their struggle to uphold an ideal of “justice for all.” GRACE STAINBACK. B+ SEE IT: Gideon’s Army plays at the Hollywood Theatre at 7:15 pm Sunday, March 9. For full POWFest schedule, visit powfest.com.

centers on 2005’s failed Operation Red Wings—a mission to remove a high-proﬁle Taliban target in the mountains of Afghanistan that instead resulted in the death of 19 American soldiers—and it lionizes its heroes while utterly demonizing their enemies. R. MICHAEL NORDINE. Cedar Hills.

Mr. Peabody & Sherman

Two Rocky & Bullwinkle characters—a hyperintelligent beagle and a 7-year-old boy—take some trips in a time machine. PG. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Mill Plain, Cornelius, Oak Grove, Birdgeport, City Center, Hilltop, Lloyd Mall, Pioneer Place, Sherwood, Tigard, Wilsonville, Sandy.

The Monuments Men

C+ The story of The Monuments Men is inspiring. During World War II, a squadron of older art scholars was dispatched to Europe in an eﬀort to protect art and other precious cultural artifacts from being destroyed by bombs, stolen by the Nazis or swiped by private collectors. It sounds like incredible fodder for a ﬁlm, especially with George Clooney in front of and behind the camera, and a dream cast that includes Matt Damon, Cate Blanchett, John Goodman, Bill Murray and Jean Dujardin. Alas, what could have been a weird cross between Inglourious Basterds and Ocean’s Eleven turns out to be a slog. PG-13. AP KRYZA. Cedar Hills, Clackamas, Mill Plain, Cornelius, Oak Grove, Sandy, St. Johns.

Nebraska

C You can predict the emotional arc of Alexander Payne’s Nebraska

based on the premise alone: David (Will Forte) decides to accompany his near-senile father, Woody (Bruce Dern), with whom he has a fractious relationship, on a road trip from Montana to Nebraska to claim the million-dollar magazine sweepstakes prize Woody believes he’s won. It’s disappointing to see Payne succumb to sentimentality untempered by insight or depth. R. KRISTI MITSUDA. Academy Theater, Laurelhurst Theater, Living Room Theaters, Valley.

Neurons to Nirvana: Understanding Psychedelic Medicines

[ONE NIGHT ONLY] A new documentary about ﬁve psychedelic substances and their medicinal potential. Clinton Street Theater. 7 pm Thursday, March 6.

Non-Stop

B It’s been about six years since

Liam Neeson stopped campaigning for golden statuettes of bald men and started slugging bald foreign men with gold teeth, and Non-Stop marks the eighth film in which this classical actor-turnedrugged elder statesman of action has been consumed by neck-punching. It’s also the most colossally stupid film of his latter-day crusade against other men’s throats. And as such, Non-Stop is entertaining as all hell. Neeson stars as air marshal Bill Marks, an alcoholic with a dead daughter who, a few drinks into his day, boards a flight that’s doomed for a fate only flights containing Liam Neeson can know. He gets a text from an unknown number saying that a passenger

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MARCH 5–11

will be killed every 20 minutes unless the hijacker receives $150 million. All of the above sounds pretty stupid, but it’s nowhere near as stupid as the movie itself. And yet director Jaume Collet-Serra—who directed Neeson’s ﬁsts in Unknown and helmed the awesomely stupid Orphan—has some slick tricks up his sleeve. The ﬁlm seems like a parody of itself, balancing claustrophobic tension and action like a slackjawed Hitchcock homage. Neeson knows how ridiculous this shit is, and so does his director. This is trash cinema taken to wonderfully dumb heights. PG-13. AP KRYZA. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Mill Plain, Cornelius, Oak Grove, Pioneer Place, Sandy.

The Nut Job

Animated squirrels plan a heist of a nut store. PG. Academy Theater.

Omar

A Passion becomes a weapon of war in Hany Abu-Assad’s nail biter Omar. It’s a dystopian Romeo&Juliet set in the West Bank, except there is no Mercutio or Friar Lawrence or any friendly face to be trusted against the backdrop of an occupied, paranoid Palestine. Sensitive young baker Omar finds himself caught between manipulative Israeli authorities and his childhood friends who have, like him, become subversive freedom fighters. Omar continues to risk everything to protect his love, despite a tangled web of secrets; the battlefield flips so often it’s difficult to track loyalties until the film’s final bloody moments. Although the suspense is the backbone of the film, newcomer Adam Bakri brings to the title role a rich combination of steeliness and sensitivity. GRACE STAINBACK. Living Room Theaters.

Philomena

C- The hardest part about watching Philomena, a ﬁlm based on the true story of an Irish woman’s search for the son she gave up for adoption 50 years previous, is accepting the amazing Judi Dench as a bumbling simpleton in the title role. If you can get over Dench as Grandma Goof, then Philomena stands on its own two feet. One of those feet is the enthralling, often emotional storyline. Unfortunately, the other foot is the waiter-my-soup humor that Fawlty Towers made irrelevant four decades ago. PG-13. MITCH LILLIE. Eastport.

Pompeii

Will the slave-turned-gladiator save his betrothed as Mount Vesuvius erupts and Pompeii crumbles? Ain’t nothing like love against a backdrop of lava. PG-13. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Cornelius.

Ride Along

Ice Cube plays a cop who takes his prospective brother-in-law (Kevin Hart) on a 24-hour patrol through Atlanta. PG-13. Eastport, Clackamas.

Saving Mr. Banks

C Disney movies walk a fine line between warm-and-fuzzy feel-goodery and all-out cheese, but few straddle the line as frustratingly as Saving Mr. Banks. This is, after all, a film that casts Tom Hanks as Walt Disney himself, struggling to get Mary Poppins made by awakening the inner child of prim, proper and persnickety British author P.L. Travers, played with eccentric hilarity by the great Emma Thompson. Alas, Travers suffers more flashbacks than Timothy Leary. Each time the film hits a stride, we’re forced back to turn-of-the-century Australia to witness her upbringing with her whimsically alcoholic dad (Colin Farrell, definitely playing to character). These endless flashbacks take the wind out of the film like a rip in a kite. PG-13. AP KRYZA. Edgefield, Kennedy School.

Son of God

D While it shouldn’t come as much

of a surprise to learn that Son of God was adapted from another medium, this retelling of the story of Jesus Christ borrows less from the actual Bible than from The Bible: The ﬁlm was adapted from last year’s extremely successful History Channel minise-

ries. Yet this is a small-scale affair. Compared to Noah sailing the Great Flood or Moses parting the Red Sea, Jesus’ miracles look more like card tricks (so many involve fish!). After the three wise men’s brief visit with an already wearily devout Mary— played by Touched by an Angel’s Roma Downey, who produced the film with her husband, reality-programming legend Mark Burnett—we’re introduced to a Christ fully grown and swimming in beatitude. As played by Portuguese heartthrob Diogo Morgado, our hero sets out getting the band together by forcing meet-cutes with each apostle and generally papering over wholly reasonable questions with a selfdelight bordering on arrogance. With the apostles all but indistinguishable— save for a Judas oozing disrepute and the ever-doubting Thomas, who looks like a soccer hooligan for reasons never explained—the conflicted villains of our tale effortlessly steal center stage as the action moves to a cheaply CGI-modeled Jerusalem. After a resurrection scene that feels especially tacked-on, our sermon has ended, and I don’t think the sequel’s coming any time soon. PG-13. JAY HORTON. Cornelius.

Tim’s Vermeer

B- In this documentary from Penn and

Teller (yes, that Penn and Teller), an inventor of high-tech computer equipment named Tim Jenson sets out to re-create the painting The Music Lesson by 16th-century Dutch master Johannes Vermeer. The music is lovely, as are the glimpses of Vermeer’s work, but there’s something missing. Even at the conclusion of Jenson’s experiment, it’s not completely clear whether Vermeer had the help of a camera obscura when painting his masterpieces. What is crystal clear is that Jenson has too much time and money on his hands. Otherwise, why would he devote ﬁve years of his life to what is, in the end, (a) an extended version of MythBusters and (b) a hyped-up game of paint-by-numbers?. DEBORAH KENNEDY. Cinema 21.

The Wind Rises

B- Early in Hayao Miyazaki’s latest— and probably final—film, an earthquake strikes Tokyo. The earth buckles and writhes, rippling like a belly dancer’s abdomen. It’s a remarkably moving scene, both for its raw kinetic energy and for the clear sense of physical and human destruction. Alas, the rest of The Wind Rises, even as it showcases Miyazaki’s painterly hand-drawn animation, isn’t nearly so dynamic. And that’s in spite of a story that revolves around flight, the based-on-truth tale of an ace aeronautical engineer named Jiro. Born in 1903, Jiro’s devotion to airplanes gets him unwillingly swept up in the war machine: He travels to Germany to meet Nazi engineers and helps build machines that, no matter how beautiful, are designed to kill. There’s an interesting tension here between technology and totalitarianism, but Jiro is so thinly developed that the question quickly evaporates. The film has a lovely melancholy, but that feels largely due to Miyazaki’s impending departure from cinema. He’ll be missed, even if The Wind Rises is a bumpy ride. PG-13. REBECCA JACOBSON. Cedar Hills, Clackamas.

The Wolf of Wall Street

A Martin Scorsese’s best picture since

Goodfellas and his fifth with Leonardo DiCaprio is at once hilarious, terrifying, hallucinogenic, infuriating, aweinspiring, meandering and, at three hours, utterly exhausting. It’s also the bitch slap that Wall Street deserves— even if the true but ludicrous story of financial criminal, stock-market juggernaut and rampant drug addict Jordan Belfort could inspire others to aspire to his level of douchebaggery. Some may scoff at the runtime, or at the film’s episodic look into Belfort’s debauchery, but both just serve to further pummel you into submission as our “hero” glides through a privileged life with a steady diet of Quaaludes, cocaine, hookers, alcohol, sushi and hubris. It is a modern masterpiece of excess, style and lunacy. R. AP KRYZA. Eastport.

Willamette Week MARCH 5, 2014 wweek.com

AP FILM STUDIES COURTESY OF SONY PICTURES GLOBAL

MOVIES

DON’T CROSS THE STREAMS: Harold Ramis in Ghostbusters.

COMEDY’S GREATEST GLUE HAROLD RAMIS WILL LIVE FOREVER IN OUR ZINGERS. BY A P KRYZA

apkryza@wweek.com

Harold Ramis was always the straight man. He was the voice of reason, the man who offered brief bits of levity in insane situations. But Ramis, who died late last month, was much more than the quiet Ghostbuster. Read any remembrance or watch any DVD commentary, and his true nature comes to light: Behind the camera, he was a madman, the conductor allowing louder, loonier performers to run wild across scripted moments. Ramis was the glue that made all the rubber flying around him stick. Along the way, he captured some of the most hysterical and enduring moments in comedy history. According to interviews with the cast, Caddyshack without Ramis would have been just a story about underdogs trying to best the rich guys. But Ramis, who also scripted, let his leads unleash their intense comical styles—much to the chagrin of their stodgier co-stars, who refused to go off script. With his directorial debut, Ramis became comedy’s Robert Altman, an auteur whose background in improv helped him mine the biggest laughs in the moment, such as Bill Murray’s legendary encounter with the Dalai Lama. Films scripted or directed by R a m i s c e n t e r a l m o st exclusively on outcasts seeking acceptance, whether they’re slackers becoming unlikely Cold War heroes in Stripes (opening Friday at the Academy), the old-school dad trying to keep tradition alive in Vacation, or a bunch of nerds fighting the paranormal in Ghostbusters. Groundhog Day, Ramis’ best directorial effort, flips the scripts, with misfits going all It’s a Wonderful Life on a big-city cynic and saving his soul in the process. Ramis might have been one of the outsiders he depicted. A Second City alum, he stood in the shadows of louder men, never allowing himself the best line. But as a maestro, he molded his films into classics. With Stripes, he turned what could have been a preachy, scattershot screwball comedy into something more cohesive, a film that could be embraced by veterans and peace-pipe hippies in equal measure. There’s a reason rich men in plaid shorts and slackers alike revisit Caddyshack, and why Animal House is required viewing for both preppies and slobs as they enter college. These are films grounded in chaos, reined in by a man whose sense of humor was immaculate and overarching.

Ramis made movies for everybody. The news of Ramis’ passing hit like an unlikely ton of Twinkies. Loud wiseasses owe him a debt of gratitude for showing us there’s no situation you can’t fix with a good zinger. To this day, when you’re stuck in an awkward conversation with a blowhard relative, Ramis provides you with a quick quip you stole verbatim from Ghostbusters— a quip your conversational opponent will recognize immediately and reply to accordingly. And that, in and of itself, might qualify as achieving total consciousness. Academy Theater. March 7-13. ALSO SHOWING: In The Matrix, Keanu Reeves falls in love with Carrie Anne Moss when he realizes she has the same haircut as he does. Laurelhurst Theater. March 7-13. Midnight Express plays like two different movies: a harrowing tale of an American experiencing a Turkish prison nightmare, and a parody of that very same story. As such, it’s kind of magnificent. 5th Avenue Cinema. March 7-9. What makes Hayao Miyazaki’s My Neighbor Totoro perfect? It takes place in a gloriously conceived world where there exist no villains or conflict. There are just two sisters whisked into a magical land full of friendly creatures. With its whimsical beauty, it overwhelms even the stodgiest adult. NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium. 7 pm Friday, March 7. So, you’re a Lebowski, I’m a Lebowski…fuck it. Let’s all go bowling while watching and quoting all of The Big Lebowski. Grand Central Bowl. 9 pm Saturday, March 8. NW Film Center continues its love affair with Burt Lancaster with Trapeze (4:30 pm Saturday, March 8), a 1956 Carol Reed film in which the actor ditches his pirate outfit for a circus getup. From a decade earlier comes the crime drama The Killers (7 pm Saturday and 4:30 pm Sunday, March 8-9). It’s an adaptation of a Hemingway short story that might stand as the actor’s most chilling performance. NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium. What’s the best way to watch Australian dragqueen cult classic The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert? That would be while eating brunch, downing bottomless mimosas and constantly confusing the film with To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar in front of the event’s host, legendary drag queen Poison Waters. She’ll still agree that Swayze looked great, though. Mission Theater. 11 am Sunday, March 9. While most audiences know Sammo Hung from the terrible TV show Martial Law, the rotund actor is one of the most badass athletes to grace kung fu cinema. This double feature includes 1980’s The Victim and 1978’s Enter the Fat Dragon. Hollywood Theatre. 7:30 pm Tuesday, March 11.

MOVIES

MARCH 7–13

STUDIO GHIBLI

Academy Theater

7818 SE Stark St., 503-252-0500 THE NUT JOB Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 04:30 THE HOBBIT: THERE AND BACK AGAIN Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 04:05 INSIDE LLEWYN DAVIS Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 04:40, 09:20 THE HUNGER GAMES: CATCHING FIRE Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 06:30 NEBRASKA Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 01:40, 07:15 DALLAS BUYERS CLUB Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 02:05, 06:55, 09:40 STRIPES Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 02:15, 09:30

Living Room Theaters BEST FRIENDS FOREVER: My Neighbor Totoro plays at the NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium at 7 pm on Friday, March 7.

Kennedy School Theater

Regal Lloyd Center 10 & IMAX

1510 NE Multnomah St. 300: RISE OF AN EMPIRE -AN IMAX 3D EXPERIENCE Fri-Sat-Sun 12:50, 04:20, 07:10, 09:55 300: RISE OF AN EMPIRE Fri-Sat-Sun 02:30, 07:50 300: RISE OF AN EMPIRE 3D Fri-Sat-Sun 11:50, 05:10, 10:30 TOE TO TOE: CANELO VS. ANGULO Sat 06:00

Regal Lloyd Mall 8

2320 Lloyd Center Mall 300: RISE OF AN EMPIRE 3D Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 12:20, 03:15, 06:00, 08:45 MR. PEABODY & SHERMAN Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 12:00, 05:40 MR. PEABODY & SHERMAN 3D Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 02:40, 08:30

Bagdad Theater and Pub

3702 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 503-249-7474 300: RISE OF AN EMPIRE Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:30, 02:00, 04:35, 07:30, 10:15

Clinton Street Theater

2522 SE Clinton St., 503-238-8899 DETROIT UNLEADED FriSat-Sun 07:00 AWFUL NICE Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 07:00 REPO! THE GENETIC OPERA Fri 10:00 THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW Sat 12:00 UN BALLO IN MASCHERA: LIVE FROM THE OPERA LEIPZIG Sun 01:00 TIGER TAIL IN BLUE Mon 07:00 PROFANE Tue 09:00

Laurelhurst Theatre & Pub

2735 E Burnside St., 503-232-5511 THE HOBBIT: THE DESOLATION OF SMAUG Fri-Sat-Sun 12:30, 03:45 20 FEET FROM STARDOM Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 07:00 INSIDE LLEWYN DAVIS Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 07:15, 09:00 THE MATRIX FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 09:30 ANCHORMAN 2: THE LEGEND CONTINUES Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 09:15 DALLAS BUYERS CLUB Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 06:45 NEBRASKA Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 06:30 THE HUNGER GAMES: CATCHING FIRE Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 08:50

Mission Theater and Pub

1624 NW Glisan St., 503-249-7474-5 COSMOS Sun 06:00, 09:00 TRAIL RUNNING FILM FEST

6712 SE Milwaukie Ave., 503236-5257 THE LEGO MOVIE Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 05:30, 07:40

5736 NE 33rd Ave., 503-249-7474-4 CHARLOTTE’S WEB FriSat-Sun 12:00 SAVING MR. BANKS Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 02:30 THE HOBBIT: THE DESOLATION OF SMAUG Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 05:30 DALLAS BUYERS CLUB Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 08:45

St. Johns Cinemas

5th Avenue Cinema

Mon 05:00

Moreland Theatre

8704 N Lombard St., 503-286-1768 300: RISE OF AN EMPIRE Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 05:00, 07:15, 09:30 THE MONUMENTS MEN Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 05:30, 08:15

CineMagic Theatre

2021 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 503-231-7919 AMERICAN HUSTLE FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 05:30, 08:15 FROZEN SING-ALONG Sat-Sun 03:10

Century 16 Eastport Plaza

4040 SE 82nd Ave., 800-326-3264-952 300: RISE OF AN EMPIRE Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 11:30, 02:15, 05:00, 07:45, 10:30 300: RISE OF AN EMPIRE 3D FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:30, 01:30, 03:15, 04:15, 06:05, 07:00, 08:45, 09:45 THE WOLF OF WALL STREET Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 12:45, 04:45, 08:45 FROZEN Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:15, 04:40, 10:10 FROZEN 3D Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 02:00, 07:25 PHILOMENA Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:25, 01:55, 04:25, 07:05, 09:35 AUGUST: OSAGE COUNTY Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 11:10, 02:10, 05:10, 08:10 SON OF GOD Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:00, 03:30, 06:50, 10:10 RIDE ALONG Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 11:30, 02:05, 04:40, 07:20, 10:05 THE LEGO MOVIE Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 11:00, 01:45, 04:30, 07:15, 10:00 THE LEGO MOVIE 3D Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:25, 03:15 ROBOCOP Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:05, 02:00, 04:50, 07:40, 10:30 MR. PEABODY & SHERMAN Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:40, 02:20, 04:40, 07:40, 10:20 MR. PEABODY & SHERMAN 3D Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:00, 01:40, 04:20, 07:00, 09:40 POMPEII Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 11:35, 05:15, 10:25 POMPEII 3D Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 02:20, 07:50 3 DAYS TO KILL Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 06:10, 09:15 NON-STOP Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:20, 02:05, 04:45, 07:30, 10:15

510 SW Hall St., 503-7253551 MIDNIGHT EXPRESS FriSat-Sun 03:00 THE NIGHT OF THE HUNTER Fri 07:30

Hollywood Theatre

4122 NE Sandy Blvd., 503-281-4215 POW FEST Fri-Sat-Sun AMERICAN HUSTLE FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 06:45 12 YEARS A SLAVE Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 09:40 GIRL POWER Mon 07:30 GETTING TO KNOW YOUTUBE Mon 07:15 RETURN TO NUKE ‘EM HIGH: VOLUME 1 MonTue 07:15 SAMMO HUNG DOUBLE FEATURE Tue 07:30 A LEAGUE OF THEIR OWN Wed 07:15 WITNESS: THE LEGACY OF HEART MOUNTAIN Wed 07:00

NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium

1219 SW Park Ave., 503-221-1156 MY NEIGHBOR TOTORO Fri 07:00 THE KILLERS Sat-Sun 04:30 TRAPEZE Sat 04:30 THE AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF KARL KROGSTAD Sun 07:00

Regal Pioneer Place Stadium 6

340 SW Morrison St. 300: RISE OF AN EMPIRE 3D Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 02:00, 03:45, 04:50, 07:30, 09:15, 10:15 MR. PEABODY & SHERMAN Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 01:30, 07:00 MR. PEABODY & SHERMAN 3D Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 04:15, 09:30 300: RISE OF AN EMPIRE FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 01:00, 06:30 NON-STOP Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 01:45, 04:30, 07:15, 10:10 3 DAYS TO KILL Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 10:00 THE LEGO MOVIE 3D Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 04:00, 09:45 THE LEGO MOVIE Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 01:10, 06:45 FROZEN FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 02:10, 04:40, 07:40

341 SW 10th Ave., 971-222-2010 20 FEET FROM STARDOM Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:40, 02:40, 09:20 GLORIA Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:55, 02:50, 05:10, 07:00 GRAVITY 3D Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 12:15, 05:00, 09:30 HER Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 01:35, 04:10, 04:50, 06:50, 07:30, 10:00 LIKE FATHER, LIKE SON Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:10, 02:00, 04:30, 06:35 NEBRASKA Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 02:20, 07:15, 09:40 OMAR Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 11:50, 02:10, 04:20, 07:45, 09:45 THE GREAT BEAUTY Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 12:00, 09:00

Century Clackamas Town Center and XD

12000 SE 82nd Ave., 800-326-3264-996 300: RISE OF AN EMPIRE Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:00, 01:50, 04:35, 07:20, 10:05 300: RISE OF AN EMPIRE 3D Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 12:40, 01:20, 03:20, 04:00, 06:00, 06:40, 08:40, 09:20 FROZEN Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 11:05, 04:25, 10:00 FROZEN 3D Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 01:45, 07:10 AMERICAN HUSTLE Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:15, 03:40, 07:00, 10:15 THE MONUMENTS MEN Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:00, 01:50, 04:40, 07:30, 10:25 ANCHORMAN 2: THE LEGEND CONTINUES... CONTINUED Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 01:35, 07:25 SON OF GOD Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 12:30, 03:45, 07:00, 10:15 RIDE ALONG Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:25, 10:10 THE LEGO MOVIE Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 11:10, 01:50, 04:30, 07:15, 09:55 THE LEGO MOVIE 3D Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 11:35, 02:20, 05:05, 07:50, 10:30 ROBOCOP Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:10, 02:05, 04:55, 07:45, 10:35 MR. PEABODY & SHERMAN Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 11:15, 01:55, 04:30, 07:05, 09:45 MR. PEABODY & SHERMAN 3D Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:55, 02:35, 05:10, 07:55, 10:35 ENDLESS LOVE FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:00, 04:50, 10:40 POMPEII Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:30, 10:20 POMPEII 3D Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 02:10, 05:00, 07:40 3 DAYS TO KILL Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 11:05, 01:55, 04:45, 07:35, 10:30 NON-STOP FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:50, 01:10, 02:35, 03:55, 05:15, 06:45, 08:00, 09:30, 10:40 THE WIND RISES Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 01:00, 04:10, 07:20, 10:25 TOE TO TOE: CANELO VS. ANGULO Sat 06:00 CHICAGO SunWed 02:00, 07:00

St. Johns Theater

8203 N Ivanhoe St., 503-249-7474-6 THE HUNGER GAMES: CATCHING FIRE Fri-SatMon-Tue-Wed 06:00 INSIDE LLEWYN DAVIS FriMon-Tue-Wed 01:00, 09:30 THE WALKING DEAD Sun 06:00, 08:00

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TREE SERVICE NE Steve Greenberg Tree Service

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Bernhard’s

Residential, Commercial and Rentals. Complete yard care, 20 years. 503-515-9803. Licensed and Insured.

Totally Relaxing Massage

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COLLISION REPAIR NE Atomic Auto 2510 NE Sandy Blvd Portland, Or 97232 503-969-3134 www.atomicauto.biz

MEN’S HEALTH Bodyhair grooming M4M. Discrete quality service. 503-841-0385 by appointment.

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Haulers with a Conscience

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Week of March 6

JOBS GENERAL

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Are you between jobs? Between romantic partners? Between secure foundations and clear mandates and reasons to get up each morning? Probably at least one of the above. Foggy whirlwinds may be your intimate companions. Being up-in-the-air could be your customary vantage point. During your stay in this weird vacationland, please abstain from making conclusions about its implications for your value as a human being. Remember these words from author Terry Braverman: “It is important to detach our sense of self-worth from transitional circumstances, and maintain perspective on who we are by enhancing our sense of ‘selfmirth.’” Whimsy and levity can be your salvation, Aries. Lucky flux should be your mantra. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): The renowned cellist Yo Yo Ma once came to the home of computer pioneer Steve Jobs and performed a private concert. Jobs was deeply touched, and told Ma, “Your playing is the best argument I’ve ever heard for the existence of God, because I don’t really believe a human alone can do this.” Judging from the current astrological omens, Taurus, I’m guessing you will soon experience an equivalent phenomenon: a transcendent expression of love or beauty that moves you to suspect that magic is afoot. Even if you are an atheist, you are likely to feel the primal shiver that comes from having a close brush with enchantment. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): In my dream, I was leading a pep rally for a stadium full of Geminis. “Your intensity brings you great pleasure,” I told them over the public address system. “You seek the company of people who love you to be inspired. You must be appreciated for your enthusiasm, never shamed. Your drive for excellence doesn’t stress you out, it relaxes you. I hereby give you license to laugh even louder and sing even stronger and think even smarter.” By now the crowd was cheering and I was bellowing. “It’s not cool to be cool,” I exulted. “It’s cool to be burning with a white-hot lust for life. You are rising to the next octave. You are playing harder than you have ever played.” CANCER (June 21-July 22): “My old paintings no longer interest me,” said the prolific artist Pablo Picasso when he was 79 years old. “I’m much more curious about those I haven’t done yet.” I realize it might be controversial for me to suggest that you adopt a similar perspective, Cancerian. After all, you are renowned for being a connoisseur of old stories and past glories. One of your specialties is to keep memories alive and vibrant by feeding them with your generous love. To be clear, I don’t mean that you should apologize for or repress those aptitudes. But for now -- say, the next three weeks -- I invite you to turn your attention toward the exciting things you haven’t done yet. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): I recommend that you sleep with a special someone whose dreams you’d like to blend with yours. And when I say “sleep with,” I mean it literally; it’s not a euphemism for “having sex with.” To be clear: Making love with this person is fine if that’s what you both want. But my main point is that you will draw unexpected benefits from lying next to this companion as you both wander through the dreamtime. Being in your altered states together will give you inspiration you can’t get any other way. You won’t be sharing information on a conscious level, but that’s exactly the purpose: to be transformed together by what’s flowing back and forth between your deeper minds. For extra credit, collaborate on incubating a dream. Read this: http://tinyurl.com/ dreamincubation. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): “One chord is fine,” said rock musician Lou Reed about his no-frills approach to writing songs. “Two chords are pushing it. Three chords and you’re into jazz.” I recommend his perspective to you in the coming weeks, Virgo. Your detail-oriented appreciation of life’s complexity is one of your finest qualities, but every once in a while -- like now -- you can thrive by stripping down to the basics. This will be especially true about your approach to intimate relationships. For the time being, just assume that cultivating simplicity will generate the blessings you need most.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): You Librans haven’t received enough gifts, goodies, and compliments lately. For reasons I can’t discern, you have been deprived of your rightful share. It’s not fair! What can you do to rectify this imbalance in the cosmic ledger? How can you enhance your ability to attract the treats you deserve? It’s important that we solve this riddle, since you are entering a phase when your wants and needs will expand and deepen. Here’s what I can offer: I hereby authorize you to do whatever it takes to entice everyone into showering you with bounties, boons, and bonuses. To jumpstart this process, shower yourself with bounties, boons, and bonuses. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): “The art of living is more like wrestling than dancing,” wrote the Roman philosopher Marcus Aurelius more than 1,800 years ago. Is that true for you, Scorpio? Do you experience more strenuous struggle and grunting exertion than frisky exuberance? Even if that’s usually the case, I’m guessing that in the coming weeks your default mode should be more akin to dancing than wrestling. The cosmos has decided to grant you a grace period -- on one condition, that is: You must agree to experiment more freely and have more fun that you normally allow yourself. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): For the itch you are experiencing, neither chamomile nor aloe vera will bring you relief. Nor would over-the-counter medications like calamine lotion. No, Sagittarius. Your itch isn’t caused by something as tangible as a rash or hives, and can’t be soothed by any obvious healing agent. It is, shall we say, more in the realm of a soul itch -- a prickly tickle that is hard to diagnose, let alone treat. I’m guessing that there may be just one effective cure: Become as still and quiet and empty as you possibly can, and then invite your Future Self to scratch it for you. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): The world is awash in bright, shiny nonsense. Every day we wade through a glare of misinformation and lazy delusions and irrelevant data. It can be hard to locate the few specific insights and ideas that are actually useful and stimulating. That’s the bad news, Capricorn. Here’s the good news: You now have an enhanced ability to ferret out nuggets of data that can actually empower you. You are a magnet for the invigorating truths you really need most. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): If you come up with an original invention, apply for a patent immediately. If you think of a bright idea, put it to work as soon as possible. If you figure out crucial clues that everyone else seems blind to, dispel the general ignorance as quickly as you can. This is a perfect moment for radical pragmatism carried out with expeditious savvy. It’s not a time when you should naively hope for the best with dreamy nonchalance. For the sake of your mental health and for the good of your extended family, be crisp, direct, and forceful. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): In the 1997 film Austin Powers, International Man of Mystery, the lead character announces that “’Danger’ is my middle name.” Ever since, real people in the UK have been legally making “Danger” their middle name with surprising regularity. I think it would be smart fun for you Pisceans to add an innovative element to your identity in the coming days, maybe even a new middle name. But I recommend that you go in a different direction than “Danger.” A more suitable name might be “Changer,” to indicate you’re ready to eagerly embrace change. Or how about “Ranger,” to express a heightened desire to rove and gallivant?

Homework What were the circumstances in which you were most dangerously alive? FreeWillAstrology.com.

check out Rob Brezsny’s Expanded Weekly Audio Horoscopes & Daily Text Message Horoscopes

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MCMENAMINS GRAND LODGE RUBY SPA

is now hiring LMTs & Hair Stylists! Qualified apps must have an open & flex sched including, days, eves, wknds and holidays. We are looking for applicants who have prev exp related exp and enjoy working in a busy customer serviceoriented enviro. We are also willing to train! We offer opps for advancement and excellent benefits for eligible employees, including vision, med, chiro, dental and so much more! Please apply online 24/7 at www.mcmenamins. com or pick up a paper app at any McMenamins location. Mail to 430 N. Killingsworth, Portland OR, 97217 or fax: 503-221-8749. Call 503-952-0598 for info on other ways to apply. Please no phone calls or emails to individ locs! E.O.E.

HOSPITALITY/RESTAURANT MCMENAMINS CORNELIUS PASS ROADHOUSE

is now hiring. Seasonal and Long Term positions include LINE COOKS, SERVERS & FOOD RUNNERS/HOSTS! Qualified apps must have an open & flex sched including, days, eves, wknds and holidays. We are looking for applicants who have prev exp related exp and enjoy working in a busy customer serviceoriented enviro. We offer opps for advancement and excellent benefits for eligible employees, including vision, med, chiro, dental and so much more! Please apply online 24/7 at www.mcmenamins. com or pick up a paper app at any McMenamins location. Mail to 430 N. Killingsworth, Portland OR, 97217 or fax: 503-221-8749. Call 503-952-0598 for info on other ways to apply. Please no phone calls or emails to individ locs! E.O.E.

MCMENAMINS CEDAR HILLS PUB

is now hiring LINE COOKS! Qualified apps must have an open & flex sched including, days, eves, wknds and holidays. We are looking for applicants who have prev exp related exp and enjoy working in a busy customer service-oriented enviro. We are also willing to train! We offer opps for advancement and excellent benefits for eligible employees, including vision, med, chiro, dental and so much more! Please apply online 24/7 at www. mcmenamins.com or pick up a paper app at any McMenamins location. Mail to 430 N. Killingsworth, Portland OR, 97217 or fax: 503-221-8749. Call 503-952-0598 for info on other ways to apply. Please no phone calls or emails to individ locs! E.O.E.

MCMENAMINS GRAND LODGE

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LEGAL NOTICES NOTICE TO INTERESTED PERSONS

ADOPTION PREGNANT? THINKING OF ADOPTION? Talk with caring agency specializing in matching Birthmothers with Families Nationwide. LIVING EXPENSES PAID. Call 24/7 Abby’s One True Gift Adoptions. 866-413-6293. Void in Illinois/New Mexico/Indiana (AAN CAN)

ANNOUNCEMENTS Help put a stop to the coercion and shunning of children by the Jehovah Witnesses. Go to witnessoutreach. wordpress.com advocacy to read 100’s of stories and sign the petition that 1000’s have signed asking the Justice Department to investigate.

CLASSES ICTC Full Circle Doula Training: Dual Training in Labor and Postpartum Care. March 13-16 in Portland. Cost: $800 Payment Plans Available This is an interactive training including cultural competency, the midwifery model of care, nutrition, breastfeeding techniques, public health, infant mortality prevention, and more ICTC is an internationally recognized and Oregon Health Authority-approved Doula training and certification organization. 503-460-9324

IN THE CIRCUIT COURT OF THE STATE OF OREGON FOR THE COUNTY OF YAMHILL In the matter of the Estate of Geoffrey R. Lorenzen ,deceased NOTICE TO INTERESTED PERSONS NOTICE IS HEREBY GIVEN that the undersigned has been appointed personal representative. All persons having claims against the estate are required to present them, with vouchers attached, to the undersigned personal representative at: Edward L. Lorenzen, Personal Representative c/o Drabkin, Tankersley & Wright, LLC Attorneys At Law 701 NE Evans Street P.O. Box 625 McMinnville, OR 97128 (503) 472-0344 withing four months after the date of first publication of this notice, or the claims may be barred. All persons whose rights may be affected by the proceedings may obtain additional information from the records of the court, the personal representative, or the attorneys for the personal representative, Thomas C. Tankersley. Dated and first published February 19, 2014 /s/ Edward L. Lorenzen Personal Representative /s/ Thomas C. Tankersley, OSB #753619 Attorney for Personal Representative

LESSONS CLASSICAL PIANO/ KEYBOARD Theory Performance. All ages. Tutoring. Portland

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Rhythmic Melodies Carnatic Violin Duet with Mridangam, Morsing & Konnokol

HATE or FORGIVE? ...For if you forgive me their trespasses (sins), your Heavenly Father will also forgive you. BUT, if you do NOT forgive men their trespasses, then neither will your Father in Heaven forgive your trespasses! (Mat 6:14-15) chapel@gorge.net

SUPPORT GROUPS H.N.Bhaskar & Ashwin Ramanathan - Carnatic Violin Shiva Bharadwaj - Mridangam Shankar Viswanathan - Konnokol & Morsing

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Saturday, March 15, 2014 at 7:30 PM Admission FREE for 2013-14 Friends of Kalakendra & Members Adults: $20 ($25 at door), Children (3-12 years): $10 ($12.50 at door), Students (with ID): $15.00 Tickets can be purchased online at www.Kalakendra.org

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CHATLINES

JONESIN’

by Matt Jones

Three in a Row–where have I heard that before? to ya!” 61 A wife of Charlie Chaplin 62 System with joysticks and paddles 63 Site of museums devoted to Ibsen and Munch 64 Swabs the deck, really 65 8-Down type 66 President pro ___ 67 Place where “You can get yourself clean, you can have a good meal”

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Across 1 Many-___ (colorful) 5 Amtrak stop, briefly 8 Pile at birthday parties 13 Nelson Muntz’s bus driver 14 Blaze a trail 16 Illusory painting genre 17 Looming choice 18 Industrial show 19 See 33-Down 20 Wind, cold, etc.* 23 Droid download 24 Like, total top choice 25 Baltimore ball

team 27 Place to store your phone numbers (before smartphones) 30 People in a certain lounge 31 “This happens ___ time!” 32 Pup in the Arctic* 36 Roseanne’s sitcom mom 37 “An Incomplete and Inaccurate History of Sport” author Kenny 39 Eggs at a sushi bar 40 Former Haitian

president* 43 Wilson of “The Office” 45 Nets coach Jason 46 Won by a shutout 48 Country singer Harris 51 “And here it is!” 52 ___ Joáo de Meriti (Brazilian city) 53 Group of three can be heard phonetically in the answer to each of the three starred clues 58 Standing subway passenger’s aid 60 “___ the mornin’

Down 1 Axton of “Gremlins” 2 Bryce Canyon National Park’s location 3 Raison d’___ (reason for being) 4 Toast 5 Coffeehouse freebie 6 San Antonio cuisine 7 Neck’s scruff 8 Full of dirt? 9 Copper-colored beer 10 Ruinous 11 Nonsense 12 Fitness tracker units 15 Mr. McNabb 21 Kenny Rogers hit written by Lionel Richie 22 “Survivor” grouping 26 CIA’s predecessor 27 Self-titled country album of 1988 28 Walkie-talkie

word 29 First name in denim 32 “I’m out” 33 With 19-Across, “Truly Flabby Preludes” composer 34 Best of the best 35 Front the money 37 Cramp-relieving pill 38 Total 41 The limit, proverbially 42 Fish served in filets 43 Contrary to Miss Manners 44 Body makeup? 46 Fastener in the corner 47 Explosive sound 48 Piece in the paper, perhaps 49 Photo finish 50 Erin of “Happy Days” 54 Jim Lange, for “The Dating Game,” e.g. 55 Word after elbow or leg 56 Like some 1950s comedy material, today 57 Curiosity’s launcher 59 Installation material last week’s answers

©2014 Jonesin’ Crosswords (editor@jonesincrosswords.com) For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle #JONZ665.

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2014 Summer Camp Guide

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