40 32 willamette week, june 11, 2014 by Willamette Week Newspaper

P. 27

WILLAMETTE WEEK PORTLAND’S NEWSWEEKLY

“THIS JUST IN: THIS CITY IS WHITE GUYS.” P. 10 wweek.com

VOL 40/32 06.11.2014

P. 7

drew bardana

NEWS A murder conviction overturned. HEADOUT Pride Sunday drag race.

Willamette Week JUNE 11, 2014 wweek.com

CONTENT

TWO-FACED, NO-PANTS-WEARIN’…: Portland goes wild. Page 25.

NEWS

MUSIC

LEAD STORY

PERFORMANCE 42

CULTURE

MOVIES

FOOD & DRINK

CLASSIFIEDS

STAFF Editor-in-Chief Mark Zusman EDITORIAL Managing Editor for News Brent Walth Arts & Culture Editor Martin Cizmar Staff Writers Nigel Jaquiss, Aaron Mesh, Kate Willson Copy Chief Rob Fernas Copy Editor Matt Buckingham Stage & Screen Editor Rebecca Jacobson Music Editor Matthew Singer Projects Editor Matthew Korfhage Books Penelope Bass Dance Aaron Spencer Theater Rebecca Jacobson Visual Arts Richard Speer Editorial Interns Laura Hanson, Tree Palmedo, Cambria Roth, Rebecca Turley

CONTRIBUTORS Emilee Booher, Ruth Brown, Nathan Carson, Rachel Graham Cody, Pete Cottell, Jordan Green, Jay Horton, AP Kryza, Nina Lary, Mitch Lillie, John Locanthi, Enid Spitz, Grace Stainback, Mark Stock, Michael C. Zusman PRODUCTION Production Manager Ben Kubany Art Director Kathleen Marie Graphic Designers Mitch Lillie, Amy Martin, Xel Moore, Dylan Serkin Production Interns Thomas Teal ADVERTISING Director of Advertising Scott Wagner Display Account Executives Maria Boyer, Ginger Craft, Michael Donhowe, Kevin Friedman, Kyle Owens, Sharri Miller Regan Classifieds Account Executive Matt Plambeck Advertising Assistant Ashley Grether Marketing & Events Manager Steph Barnhart Give!Guide Director Nick Johnson

Our mission: Provide Portlanders with an independent and irreverent understanding of how their worlds work so they can make a difference. Though Willamette Week is free, please take just one copy. Anyone removing papers in bulk from our distribution points will be prosecuted, as they say, to the full extent of the law. Willamette Week is published weekly by City of Roses Newspaper Company 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Main line phone: (503) 243-2122 fax: (503) 243-1115 Classifieds phone: (503) 223-1500 fax: (503) 223-0388

DISTRIBUTION Circulation Director Mark Kirchmeier WWEEK.COM Web Production Brian Panganiban Web Editor Matthew Korfhage MUSICFESTNW Executive Director Trevor Solomon Associate Director Matt Manza Marketing Coordinator Madeleine Zusman TECHFESTNW Program Director Lizzy Caston

room for two

OPERATIONS Accounting Manager Chris Petryszak Credit & Collections Shawn Wolf Office Manager/Receptionist Sam Cusumano A/P Clerk Andrea Iannone Manager of Information Systems Brian Panganiban Associate Publisher Jane Smith Publisher Richard H. Meeker

Willamette Week welcomes freelance submissions. Send material to either News Editor or Arts Editor. Manuscripts will be returned if you include a self-addressed, stamped envelope. To be considered for calendar listings, notice of events must be received in writing by noon Wednesday, two weeks before publication. Send to Calendar Editor. Photographs should be clearly labeled and will be returned if accompanied by a selfaddressed, stamped envelope. Questions concerning circulation or subscription inquiries should be directed to Mark Kirchmeier at Willamette Week. Postmaster: Send all address changes to Willamette Week, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Subscription rates: One year $100, six months $50. Back issues $5 for walk-ins, $8 for mailed requests when available. Willamette Week is mailed at third-class rates. Association of Alternative Newsmedia This newspaper is published on recycled newsprint using soy-based ink.

MAIN STORE 706 SE MARTIN LUTHER KING JR. BLVD / 503.233.5973 / M-F 10-7 SAT 10-5 SUN 12-5 OUTLET STORE 534 SE BELMONT, 503.446.2205 / RIVERCITYBICYCLES.COM / OPEN EVERY DAY Willamette Week JUNE 11, 2014 wweek.com

INBOX TERRY BEAN’S PROBLEM

A senior citizen goes to bed with a young adult who could be his grandchild, claims to have fallen in love with him, stashes him in his home, pays him an “allowance” and then gets screwed when the relationship goes south in just a matter of months [“Terry Bean’s Problem,” WW, June 4, 2014]. And why exactly am I supposed to have sympathy for him? I’m amazed someone this accomplished and capable is this stupid. I can’t fathom why anyone’s defending this guy for this specific behavior. For all his accomplishments, he apparently missed a major developmental milestone—behaving like a responsible adult and making mature choices. Maybe he’ll think twice before he woos another person so much his junior. —“Alyse” This is nothing but an attempt by a punk con artist to extort money from a man who really only had his best interests at heart. It’s despicable that this “victim” would resort to lawsuits to settle a petty domestic squabble. —“Bloviator” If this had been a straight man with a young woman, it would not have been front-page news in any paper. This is still a subtle form of homophobia, without question. The same thing happened to Sam Adams, who was thoroughly investigated by then- Oregon Attorney General John Kroger and cleared, but the whole trial by media ruined Sam’s reputation

A zoo is a prison for animals who are guilty of nothing except being animals. Is it unethical to visit the Oregon Zoo? —Kevin S. I’m flattered, Kevin, that you seem to think I can furrow my mighty brow, stroke my long white beard, and dictate a final, authoritative answer to the thorniest ethical questions of the age. I can settle all your moral dilemmas! Just take two of these stone tablets and call me in the morning. That said, I’m happy to scratch my pointed head and provide my best guess on the subject. The standard take in zoo ethics is to ask whether the benefits of zoos outweigh the harm they cause. Conveniently in this case, most of the benefits (education, sense of wonder) accrue to the humans who are asking the question, while the harms (deprivation of liberty, frequent accidental death) tend to accrue to the animals. Still, given that animals are stuck living in 4

Willamette Week JUNE 11, 2014 wweek.com

and political future. If the young men are over 18, they are adults fully able to consent. It is that simple. Terry Bean has done more for the LGBT movement than anyone else in this state. He has a national reputation for that, and he earned it. —“Alan Brown”

KITZHABER AND COAL

Gov. John Kitzhaber is going to do everything in his power to stop coal exports through Oregon [“Coal-line Stand,” WW, June 4, 2014]. That is what matters. His reasons may be many and are debatable. But his public statements in opposition to coal exports through Oregon are unequivocal. Bravo, John Kitzhaber. You have my vote and energetic support. Richard Ellmyer, chairman, North Portland Coal Committee The gorillas lurking in the room are, as follows: the Columbia River Crossing, Cover Oregon and Rudy Crew. Coal isn’t sexy enough to replace these failures in people heads, but it’s worth a shot. Kitzhaber needs to roll it up and retire. His time came, went and remains gone. Oh, and tax reform? Ain’t gonna happen. Not on his watch anyway...it’s a Timex. —“Irving Berliner” LETTERS TO THE EDITOR must include the author’s street address and phone number for veriﬁcation. Letters must be 250 or fewer words. Submit to: 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Fax: (503) 243-1115. Email: mzusman@wweek.com.

a world where humans own most of the guns, slaughterhouses and coal-fired power plants, there’s something to be said for indoctrinating our yuppie larvae with fondness for our fellow vertebrates. A major problem, though, is that the animals everyone wants to see—charismatic megafauna like elephants and polar bears—are precisely the ones worst-suited to captivity. These animals often go sort of bonkers as a result of being cooped up indefinitely. Here’s the deal: If you’re the sort who believes we have no right to eat animals, or ride them around, or keep them as pets, then you probably have an ethical obligation to avoid zoos as well. However, if you’re the animals-schmanimals type, maybe you figure zoos are enlightening for our young—and keep the rest of us young at heart! (Warning: Being young at heart will not keep you from being old at face.) QUESTIONS? Send them to dr.know@wweek.com

Help us to test an investigational immunotherapy tablet for dust mite allergy. Participants may be eligible for this study if they are 12 years of age or older and have been taking allergy medications for dust mite allergy symptoms during the past year.

Summer classes start June 15

www.jlyc.com

1020 SW Taylor Street, Suit 780 Downtown next to the Library

503 238-6233

Willamette Week JUNE 11, 2014 wweek.com

COURTS: A murder conviction overturned. CITY HALL: Diversity for white men, by white men. HOUSING: Tiny houses as an answer to homelessness. COVER STORY: World Cup mania hits Portland.

426 SE GRAND AVE. PORTLAND, OR. 97214 NEXTADVENTURE.NET 503.233.0706

7 10 12 15

Come Visit Us at the sC sCappoose Bay paddlefest this Weekend! List Price $295.00 Our Price

uP tO

50% off

$179.99

retaiL Prices

Made in the USA!

List Price $220.00 Our Price

Men’s Scott Sawatch Down Jacket

Roomy semi-rectangular synthetic bag.

List Price $159.99 Our Price

Our Price

Helle Dokka folder

Perfect gift for dad. Norwegian made laminated steel folding knife. Includes leather sheath. List Price $32.99 Our Price

Camp Chef Teton

Platypus Big Zip 1.8L

MSR Elixer 2 tent

List Price $220.00 Our Price

List Price $99.99 Our Price

$139.99 Mountain Hardwear Extralamina 20

List Price $120.00 Our Price

$94.99

List Price $10.00 Our Price

$19.99

Goal Zero Rockout speaker

Portable speaker with USB recharge

Our Price

Five Ten Anasazi Verde

Discraft Ultra Star Sport Disc 175 g Assorted colors

Classic lace up design, great for long sessions and challenging climbs

Our Price

$719

$659 CB Necky Rip 12 Our Price

Hobie Venture 12’4 Our Price

$1,029

$999

$1,749

Amundson Cross 11

Our Price

Perception Prodigy 12 Our Price

$1,399

Bic Ace Tec 11’6

OUTDOOR SCHOOLS

$10.99

List Price $750 Our Price

$1,099

Ocean Kayak Trident 13 Angler

Our Price

$109.99

Wilderness Systems Pungo

Bic Dura Tec 10’4

Wilderness Technologies Hammocks

Lightweight parachute nylon hammock.

List Price $150 Our Price

Folds flat for storage!

Our Price

$799

$19.99

Next Adventure camp mug

Coleman Origami Cup

$869

Emotion Glide Sport

Razor siped sole, closed toe

List Price $24.99 Our Price

Stainless steel mug that nests around the base of a 1l Nalgene bottle.

$3.99

Our Price

$349

Men’s Keen Turia Sandal

$5.99

Merrell Ascend Glove

$1,999

Wilderness Systems RideX 115

Next Adventure Paddlefest at Scappoose Bay

Hobie Outback

UPCOMING EVENTS

Backpacking Basics - Free Clinic June 10th

June 13th - 15th

Next Adventure Grand Store Free Learn how to hike and camp comfortably and safely. 7-8 pm

$15 for all weekend access or $10 with 2 cans of food. A benefit for Columbia County Food Bank

National Get Outdoors Day June 14th

Entry includes unlimited kayak and SUP demos and access to all clinics and on-water tours Friday through Sunday. Live music Saturday night. RV camping available. Go to nextadventure.net for more details!

Large and in charge, take control with the Hulk HMS carabiner. Our Price

Mininmalist Trail or Road appropriate

Stainless camp bowl

$59.99

Mad Rock Hulk Carabiner

Metolius Master Cams

MSR Alpine Bowl

3lbs! 55 Liter capacity

List Price $110.00 Our Price

$8.99

List Price $8.99 Our Price

$4.99

Mountain Hardwear Kanza 55

List Price $11.99 Our Price

$79.99

Razor siped sole, closed toe

List Price $40.00 Our Price

Full featured, great value!

List Price $120.00 Our Price

Women’s Keen Turia Sandal

C4 Climing rubber, Durable leather outer

$149.99

High Peak Everest 65+10

Light weight, yet fully strength rated. Super flexable stem and narrow profile make these great for those finicky placements. Protect yourself in style!

$59.99

5.10 Guide Tennie

stand Up ReCReation paddle BoaRds kayaks

Outbound Spirit 2 tent

Willamette Week JUNE 11, 2014 wweek.com

Gov. John Kitzhaber’s growing opposition to a proposed coal-export terminal in Oregon (“Coal-line Stand,” WW, June 4, 2014) will get a test this week. The Oregon Department of Transportation is meeting in Portland with stakeholders from across the state to divvy up $42 million from a program called Connect Oregon V. A citizen panel’s top-ranked project for Region 1 (the Portland metro area) is the expansion of a coal-export dock at the Port of St. Helens in Columbia County that would be used to ship Wyoming coal to Asia. The ODOT committee wants to grant $2 million of the project’s $5 million cost. Kitzhaber spokeswoman Rachel Wray says it’s premature to speculate about the outcome of a “long public process.”

List Price $220.00 Our Price

$119.99

$47.99

List Price $110.00 Our Price

40 Degree rectangle sleeping bag

List Price $149.99 Our Price

Giant vestibule! bring your bikes and dogs!

Black Diamond Vector Helmet

Roomy semi-rectangular synthetic bag.

Wenzel Lakeside 40

Hand forged in Sweden, designed by Les Stroud!

List Price $59.77 Our Price

$79.99

$24.99

Wetterlings Bushman axe

Ultralight and Ultra compact canister stove

$149.99

Large liveable space with 2 doors

1.8L reservoir. Made in USA.

List Price $39.99 Our Price

Our Price

List Price $300.00 Our Price

$249.99

Marmot Distance Performance Tank

$149.99

MSR MicroRocket stove

(2) 10,000 BTU burners. Matchless ignition. Uses 1lb propane cylinder.

$39.99

PrAna Quinn Dress

$59.99

Our Price

$24.99

PrAna Vivi Yoga Capri

WE HATE COAL. WE LOVE COAL. (WE CAN’T DECIDE.)

List Price $65.00 Our Price

$44.99

Our Price

$89.99

$139.99

List Price $75.00 Our Price

$44.99

$159.99

Mountain Hardwear Extralamina 20

fishing kayaks

List Price $75.00 Our Price

List Price $260.00 Our Price

$139.99

Men’s and Women’s Spring/Summer 2014 Samples

THOMAS BRESSON / CC

Sierra Designs 60/40 Alpine Pullover

Ft. Vancouver National Park, WA Free Disc Golf and Hiking demo by Next Adventure staff,

plus so much more!

Cooking with Fire June 19th

Next Adventure Grand Store Free 7-8 pm

COURTESY ENERGY NORTHWEST

BUy of the Week

The U.S. Government Accountability Office published a blistering report June 9 examining the convoluted transactions that sent 30 years’ worth of nuclear fuel to the Northwest’s only nuclear power plant, Energy NorthColumbia Generating Station west’s Columbia Generating Station in Southwest Washington (“Costly to the Core,” WW, Dec. 11, 2013). The GAO found that the transactions “violated federal fiscal law” and cost taxpayers millions of dollars in unnecessary expenses. The U.S. Department of Energy disagrees, as does the utility. “Energy Northwest reasonably relied on the representations of a federal agency of the United States through its highest official (secretary of energy) that it possessed the required legal authority to enter into this transaction,” says Energy Northwest general counsel Bob Dutton. “Any disagreement about legal authority is a matter solely between DOE and GAO, and does not involve Energy Northwest.” Portland energy economist Robert McCullough, who panned the fuel deal, says the GAO report vindicates his findings. “The takeaway is the GAO says the transactions were illegal and resulted in ratepayers paying far too much for fuel they didn’t need,” McCullough says. The political action committee working to require the labeling of genetically modified foods in Oregon is cranking into high gear. This week, Oregon GMO Right to Know disclosed a $75,000 contribution from Portlander Karen Swift, a transplanted California farmer who was active in a campaign there to require GMO labeling in 2012. Based on spending in California in 2012 and in Washington in 2013—labeling failed in both states by 2 percentage points—GMO labeling is likely to be the most expensive measure on Oregon’s November ballot. Proponents have so far raised $940,000 and this week shifted $250,000 to FieldWorks, a signature-gathering company. Labeling opponents, who have been led in other states by chemical companies such as Monsanto and Syngenta, have not yet begun an Oregon campaign. Read more Murmurs and daily scuttlebutt.

NEWS

GOT A GOOD TIP? CALL 503.445.1542, OR EMAIL NEWSHOUND@WWEEK.COM

anna M. caMpbell pHotograpHy

MAGICAL MYSTERY TOWER WHERE’S THE EVIDENCE ROD UNDERHILL SAID HE HAD THAT COMPELLED LISA ROBERTS TO CONFESS TO STRANGLING HER GIRLFRIEND? By KAT E W I L L S O N

kwillson@wweek.com

Lisa Marie Roberts never wanted to admit killing Jerri Lee Williams. She was innocent, she always maintained, right up to the end when she pleaded guilty to strangling Williams, her girlfriend, and dumping her body in North Portland’s Kelley Point Park on a Saturday morning in 2002. Roberts says she was convinced she had no choice but to plead. Only days before her trial, the Multnomah County District Attorney’s Office claimed to have new evidence that signals from a cellphone tower would put Roberts near the spot where the body had been dumped. If true, the evidence would shatter Roberts’ alibi that she was nowhere near Williams at the time of the killing. Roberts’ own attorney told her the evidence was so strong she didn’t have a prayer of beating a murder charge. Roberts says she pleaded guilty to manslaughter, a deal that allowed her to avoid life in prison. She accepted a 15-year sentence instead. “My family told me to listen, to trust my lawyer. He said, ‘You need to take the plea,’” Roberts tells WW. “That was closing the book on my life. Everything I had was gone.” Two weeks ago, Roberts, 49, walked out of state prison, freed after U.S. District Judge Malcolm Marsh found in an April 9 ruling that a jury would probably never have convicted Roberts had she stood trial. Marsh faulted Roberts’ original attorney for failing to challenge the prosecutor’s claims about the cellphone evidence. And that evidence, after years of litigation, has not been produced by the prosecutor in the case, Rod Underhill. At the time, Underhill was senior deputy district attorney, but today he is the Multnomah County district attorney, elected in 2012. Underhill declined requests from WW to comment on the record for this story. In a May 28 statement to the judge, Underhill said he still believes Roberts is responsible for the murder, but will not press for a trial to prove it. Nor will his office investigate a man currently in prison whose DNA linked him to the victim. The National Registry of Exonerations, a joint project of the law schools at the University of Michigan Law School and Northwestern University, says Roberts is one of only nine Oregon inmates to be exonerated in the past 25 years, and one of only three who had pleaded guilty. “It’s incredibly rare and happens in only the most extraordinary cases,” says Aliza Kaplan, co-founder of the

WRONG TURN: “I felt lost,” Lisa Roberts says of the attorney who urged her to plead guilty to manslaughter in 2004. “I trusted him. He said [then-Multnomah County senior deputy district attorney Rod] Underhill had damning evidence.”

“ My faMily told Me to listen, to trust My lawyer. He said, ‘you need to take tHe plea.’” —Lisa Marie roberts

Oregon Innocence Project. “Even when there is a decent case, there are so many procedural hurdles even to get to the substance of a claim. It’s a really high standard.” No one questions that the relationship between Lisa Roberts and Jerri Williams was violent. Roberts, a native

of Boston, came to Portland in 1998 after a stint in the Army. She was working as a mechanic at the National Guard Armory in Northeast Portland when she met Williams, a prostitute who worked the Madison Suites Motel on Northeast 82nd Avenue. Police and prosecutors built what they believed was a strong case of circumstantial evidence against Roberts. Friends later told police Roberts and Williams argued and fought. Roberts was involved with another woman, and police believed Roberts was motivated to kill Williams to get her out of her life. The third woman told police she once heard Roberts threaten to kill Williams and put her “six feet under.” On the afternoon of May 25, 2002, a woman walking Willamette Week JUNE 11, 2014 wweek.com

A new app from Willamette Week.

The cityâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s most comprehensive calendar, now in the palm of your hand.

Willamette Week JUNE 11, 2014 wweek.com

The cell-tower data wasn’t the only evidence that ultimately persuaded Judge Marsh that Roberts’ conviction was problematic. In 2002, when police first investigated Williams’ murder, they found DNA from Roberts on Williams’ body. But they also found DNA from a number of men as well—not surprising, given that Williams was a prostitute. At the time, police couldn’t identify the DNA. But in 2010, with DNA technology advancing and the case under

“ you got that all wrong. my dna wasn’t found nowhere.” —Brian Lee TuckenBerry

appeal, Roberts’ new legal team asked for the DNA to be retested, on the theory that one of the men whose DNA showed up on Williams’ body could have been her killer. Marsh ordered the new testing over the objections of the Oregon Department of Justice, which had taken on the job of defending the way the Multnomah County District Attorney’s Office had handled the case. A database search matched DNA from Williams’ body to Brian Lee “Mississippi” Tuckenberry, 36, a state inmate serving time at the Deer Ridge Correctional Institution in Madras for raping and attempting to strangle an ex-girlfriend. Roberts’ legal team discovered in the original case files that Portland police had looked at Tuckenberry as a possible suspect in 2003 and 2004. They learned Tuckenberry had worked as a pimp at the Madison Suites on 82nd Avenue, and he often stopped by the nearby McDonald’s for a morning serving of apple pie. Williams’ son also identified Tuckenberry in a photo as a man who had been trying unsuccessfully to recruit his mother. Investigators for Roberts’ legal team tracked down two women whom Tuckenberry, according to police reports, had allegedly sexually assaulted and choked. One recalled him telling her during the attack, “I will choke you and kill you like I did the other bitch.” Tuckenberry has denied killing Williams, both to investigators and to WW. “ You got that all wrong. My DNA wasn’t found nowhere,” he tells WW. “Go find someone else who did it. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

k e n t o n wa lt z

Once in prison, Roberts decided to fight back against her own guilty plea. In 2009, federal public defender Alison “Tex” Clark took up her case. Along with investigator Maia Godet, Clark tried to piece together what had really happened on the day of Williams’ murder. “We would sit together and go through the records, trying to replicate the prosecutor’s case,” Clark tells WW. “We couldn’t make it match with the facts.” Prosecutors theorized that Roberts had dumped Williams’ body at Kelley Point Park before 10:30 on the morning of the murder. The evidence that put Roberts near the park, according to prosecutors, was the celltower data. As recently as 2011, the state still maintained that “cellphone tower evidence placed petitioner at the location where the victim’s body was dumped after the murder.” Roberts’ legal team brought in experts who said it would have been virtually impossible to pinpoint a cellphone’s location based on a signal logged by a single cell tower. The experts said readings from more than one tower were necessary to begin to locate a caller, and that the height of towers and the phone traffic on the network could all affect the data. According to court records, Underhill’s assertions that the proximity to the tower could be pinpointed was based on his 2004 conversations with the Verizon technician. The Verizon employee said he couldn’t be specific about how he knew this, because it involved proprietary coding. A federal judge later ordered Underhill to turn over all records and notes from the case. According to Steven Wax, who leads the office of the federal public defender, none of the records Underhill produced backed up his assertion that cellphone records could place Roberts at Kelley Point Park. “I look at it as the magical evidence,” says William Teesdale, an investigator for the federal public defender’s office. “The magical evidence that no one can produce.”

TESTED: Roberts (center) is surrounded by her legal team from the federal public defender’s office. DNA testing linked Brian Tuckenberry (below left) to the victim. Multnomah County District Attorney Rod Underhill (below right) says there will not be an investigation of Tuckenberry’s possible role in the murder. courtesy clackamas co. sheriff’s office

with her daughter and her dog found Williams’ naked body in the brush at Kelley Point Park. Police and prosecutors alleged Roberts had strangled Williams, 35, at their Southeast Portland home, stuffed the corpse into a sleeping bag and drove it to the park, where she rolled it into brush about 15 feet from the parking lot. After being charged with murder, Roberts tried to hang herself in jail. She was sent to Oregon State Hospital for six months before doctors determined she was fit to stand trial. In 2004, she was assigned a court-appointed attorney, William Brennan. Roberts wanted to fight the charges, but court records show Brennan talked her out of it based on claims the prosecutor, Underhill, made only days before trial. (Brennan died in 2012 at age 70.) Court records show Underhill told Brennan cell-tower data could pinpoint Roberts’ cellphone when she made a call at 10:28 the morning of the murder. The tower was three miles from Kelley Point Park. According to court records, Underhill had conversations with a Verizon technician, who said he could determine Roberts’ location based on the strength of her phone’s signal. “Given all the evidence that was before me, there seemed to be a good possibility that [Roberts] could and would be convicted of murder,” Brennan later wrote. “There was a lot of circumstantial evidence that, if believed by a jury, could have led to that result.”

NEWS anna m. campbell photography

courts

Judge Marsh in his April 9 ruling called the evidence against Tuckenberry “compelling” and said that the federal public defender’s team “has presented persuasive evidence that the prosecution’s theory of how the murder was committed is wrong.” “It is more likely than not that no reasonable juror would find petitioner guilty of intentional murder or manslaughter, beyond a reasonable doubt in light of the totality of the evidence,” Marsh added. Marsh ordered Underhill to either put Roberts on trial or release her from prison. Underhill announced May 28 he would not continue pursuing the case against Roberts. She got out of prison that same day. But Underhill, the Portland police and the Oregon Department of Justice say they still believe Roberts was the killer and that there is no reason to investigate Tuckenberry. Underhill spokesman Don Rees says Tuckenberry would be a good alternative suspect if the DA’s office weren’t sure Roberts was guilty. “It is a common defense to point the finger at someone else,” he said. Today, Roberts is adjusting to life outside of prison, drinking Sprite, eating Chinese food and learning about iPhones and SmartCars. She says she holds no hard feelings toward Brennan, the lawyer who steered her toward prison, or Underhill. She is thankful that he chose not to prosecute her a second time. “We’re all human. We all have a pulse. We all make mistakes,” she says. “But admit to your mistakes. I would have more respect for him if he did.” Willamette Week JUNE 11, 2014 wweek.com

NEWS

city hall

colin andersen

Dentistry In The Pearl That’s Something To Smile About!

New Patient

$74 Exam and X-rays

New Patient

Dr. Viseh Sundberg

$49 Basic

Cleaning

(exam required)

Children’s

$59 Exam

& Cleaning

(new patients age 12 and under)

Professional

$99 Home

Whitening

(exam required)

FOR WHITE MEN ONLY MAYOR CHARLIE HALES IS HIRING OUTSIDE HELP TO TEACH DIVERSITY TO WHITE MALE MANAGERS.

(503) 546-9079 222 NW 10th Avenue www.sundbergdentistry.com

By aa r on mesh

JUNE 10–15

KELLER AUDITORIUM

BroadwayAcrossAmerica.com/Portland • 503-241-1802 M-F 9a-5p Portland’5 Box Office • All TicketsWest locations • 800-273-1530 Groups of 10+ SAVE! 503-295-3509 I Tickets subject to agency convenience charges. 10

Willamette Week JUNE 11, 2014 wweek.com

ONCE WILLAMNETTE WEEK 2COL (3.772”) X 6.052”

amesh@wweek.com

Portland Mayor Charlie Hales is hiring an outside consultant to host a diversity seminar—for white men only. W hen Hales ran for mayor in 2012, he questioned whether Portland needed an Office of Equity and Human Rights—a $1.2 million department dedicated to ensuring fairness in race, gender and disability. In less than two years, he’s received plenty of lessons on how much the city has to learn about diversity. Last summer, Hales’ top police aide, Baruti Artharee, sexually harassed Multnomah County Commissioner Loretta Smith at a dinner for Dante James, director of the city equity office. In January, an HIV-positive staffer in Hales’ office filed a civil-rights complaint against chief of staff Gail Shibley for violating his privacy. And in April, the city’s former financial chief, Jack D. Graham, filed notice of his intent to sue the city for racial discrimination—describing a pervasive atmosphere of racism throughout Portland’s bureaucracy. Hales now believes the city needs training beyond what the Office of Equity and Human Rights provides. The mayor and his male staffers will attend a 3½-day seminar in July that a city document says is “designed to help white male personnel learn how to react to issues in a white male-dominated culture.” Hales spokesman Dana Haynes says the $56,000 training session was the mayor’s idea. “This just in: Much of the big leadership in this city is white guys,” Haynes says. “And the change needs to start at the top.” Hales has also mandated the attendance of white male command staff at the Portland Police Bureau—which has long been troubled by

charges of discrimination. The mayor’s office didn’t have to look far to find a contractor providing this specific service: The company, White Men as Full Diversity Partners, is based in Portland. Haynes says the company provides a targeted seminar that the city’s own diversity trainers can’t supply. “This training is unique,” Haynes says. “It is sui generis. Nobody else is doing this training, that we’ve been able to find.” City officials will be taking part in a program described in White Men as Full Diversity Partners’ promotional materials as “innovative white male-only” sessions. A city contract says the seminar will “empower white males in leadership roles to be aware of their own culture and engage in critical dialogue on issues of inequity, ownership and responsibility for change.” Bill Proudman, a Portland team-building coach, founded White Men as Full Diversity Partners in 1996. He says he was one of the first consultants to offer white male-only diversity workshops. He’s grown used to skepticism. “It’s a joke—white men having a diversity session with other white men is an oxymoron,” he says. “All I can say is, my experience tells me: I have a race. It’s white. And it has an impact on things in my life. And I’m often the last person in the room to realize that.” Proudman’s organization lists among its clients PepsiCo, Lockheed Martin and NASA. He says white men need to understand their own culture to avoid hurting others. “Because we’re the dominant group in the U.S., we’re like fish in water,” Proudman says. “We don’t notice the water. Looking at our culture allows us to see how we impact other groups.” One observer questions whether Portland needs more equity workshops. “Wow,” says Dave Lister, who has served on several city advisory committees and ran for a seat on the City Council in 2006. “Why do they need additional training for white males only when there’s hardly anything the city puts out that doesn’t talk about diversity?” But Equity Foundation executive director Karol Collymore, who criticized Hales for his handling of Artharee’s remarks, says this is a positive step. “Anything that helps people get to a place where they can have serious conversations,” she says, “is the right step to take.”

#iamrichpdx

summer concert contest

WIN FREE SHOWS FOR A YEAR! at Doug Fir, Hawthorne Theatre and Holocene

Wait. What? Free shows for 365 days? Yes. Live the High Life. Enter the

#iamrichpdx summer concert contest 1. Attend summer shows at participating venues through August 31st 2. Upload a photo showing us how you Live the High Life to

instagram

twitter

3. Hashtag #iamrichPDX *Entry not valid without the tag. 4. Follow @willametteweek or @wweek 5. See more shows, increase your chances to win!* *For more info and full contest rules wweek.com/iamrichpdx

must be 21+ to enter. Willamette Week JUNE 11, 2014 wweek.com

NEWS

housing

A HOUSING ADVOCATE CALLS FOR CREATING NEIGHBORHOODS OF TINY HOUSES TO ADDRESS HOMELESSNESS. By camBria roth

croth@wweek.com

Michael Withey recalls how Occupy Portland’s takeover of two downtown parks nearly three years ago was itself overrun by hundreds of homeless people. Withey came to believe that the homeless who moved into Chapman and Lownsdale squares were sent by police, social-service agencies and even state-run mental institutions with one purpose: to disrupt the Occupy movement. “The movement was ruined, and public opinion went against us,” Withey says of the media attention that focused on the impromptu homeless camp that Occupy became during its 39-day hold on the two city parks. “What I learned from the experience is that, rather than exploiting the homeless, someone should be trying to fix the problem. Nobody seems to be coming up with a plan to fix this problem.” Withey, 49, has worked as a homeless advocate ever since, often at odds with Mayor Charlie Hales. Withey, for example, protested Hales’ homeless sweeps last year. But Withey is set to be one of Hales’ guests before the City Council on June 11 to present what he says is a big idea to halt homelessness in Portland: tiny houses. The little shelters—often no more than 200 square feet—have become trendy niche housing in Portland, from backyard homes on wheels to a tiny house hotel just off Northeast Alberta Street. Withey proposes a private development of as many as 25 tiny houses clustered on a single property, with rents ranging from $250 to $350 a month. He says his idea could save millions in affordable housing costs. Three years ago, the city built the $47 million Bud Clark Commons in Old Town, including 130

apartments that cost on average $253,000 per unit to build. Withey says to put 25 tiny house units on about half an acre would cost $15,000 to $35,000 a unit, including the cost of the land. The organization is currently looking at property near Northeast 146th Avenue and East Burnside Street, but Withey foresees more developments in the future. “It’s not sustainable,” Withey says of the city’s approach to affordable housing. “The government spends a lot of money for lowincome housing in ways they shouldn’t.” Withey says the development would operate independently of government subsidies. What it would need from the city, he says, are changes to zoning and inspection codes to allow the construction of tiny houses as permanent dwellings. Still, city officials are reluctant to endorse tiny homes as a good way to address Portland’s need for low-cost housing. Brendan Finn, chief of staff for City Commissioner Dan Saltzman, who oversees the Housing Bureau, says the idea is one worth exploring. “Dan will be listening with a keen ear at the presentation,” Finn says. “We are very interested in learning what we can do to bring down the cost per unit.” Finn says the city’s counts of homeless have found more women with children on the streets, so finding units for families is a priority. The tiny house units Withey is proposing can be remodeled to add rooms. “The fact they are expandable make them even more attractive,” Finn says. Withey formed his nonprofit, Micro Community Concepts, in May. He wants only low-income residents, those earning between $7,000 and $21,000 a year. But he doesn’t want any government role, such as Section 8 federal housing support. He says every resident would also have to undergo a criminal background check to keep out violent felons. (Withey himself has had a few minor scrapes with the law, mostly related to the Occupy protests in 2012 and 2013.) “This is not a handout; we aren’t build-

w w s ta f f

SMALL COMFORT

ing a shelter or rehabs,” he says. “This is just for normal people that simply can’t afford conventional housing.” Withey wants to buy the units from Techdwell, a Sherwood company that builds tiny houses. Techdwell houses feature small front porches that lead into compact kitchens and rooms that fit twin-sized beds. Dave Carboneau, a partner at Techdwell, says the houses were designed for disaster relief in Haiti (so far, the company has sold two). “With 200 square feet, you don’t have a lot to work with, but we try to maximize the utilization of the house,” Carboneau says. Homeless communities like Opportunity Village in Eugene and Quixote Village in Olympia, Wash., have tiny houses, but they lack kitchens and bathrooms. The tiny houses in Withey’s development would have them.

“It’s not necessarily a homeless project we’re proposing,” Withey says. “It’s a homeless prevention project.” People living near the site of Withey’s proposed tiny-house cluster aren’t thrilled with the idea. Laurie Cunningham lives a few houses down and says her home’s value has depreciated from the influx of lowincome housing in the area. “When we bought our home, we didn’t ask for any of this,” Cunningham says. “We aren’t happy, and it’s not safe anymore. We’ve had to clear out drug addicts, and we’ve seen guns in trunks of cars right smack in front of our house.” Withey says his tiny-house neighborhood would be all about community. “We want to provide safe, supportive and sustainable living for people that deserve it,” he says.

Boat demos, instructional clinics, store wide discounts, live music on saturday night , beer garden & more! $1 0 w i t h t w o c a n s o f f o o d , $1 5 w i t h o u t . C ov e r s a l l ev e n t s a l l w e e k e n d . Ki d s 1 2 & u n d e r f r e e .

Willamette Week JUNE 11, 2014 wweek.com

METTE W EE

GIVE! GUIDE 2014

APPLICATIONS FOR WILLAMETTE WEEK'S

2014

GIVE! GUIDE

NOW AVAILABLE AT GIVEGUIDE.ORG

Put a little spring in your step! Build the foundation of optimal health with high-quality naturopathic and Chinese medicine—and save a little green in the process. Discounted rates for office visits.* $50 for new patients

$25 for returning patients

*Does not include private shift appointments, IV therapy, colposcopy, minor surgery supplies, lab or medicinary.

Call today for an appointment 503.552.1551 • www.ncnm.edu 3025 SW Corbett Avenue, Portland, OR 97201 We are located at the west end of the Ross Island Bridge. Willamette Week JUNE 11, 2014 wweek.com

WIN

WEEKLY!

NEWS SCHOOLS PROTECTING GAY STUDENTS. FOOD IN DEFENSE OF SHARI’S DINER. MOVIES BUFFY THE SHAKESPEARE SLAYER.

P. 63

WILLAMETTE WEEK PORTLAND’S NEWSWEEKLY

Oregon Wage Claim Attorneys

ent

Helping Oregon employees collect wages! Free consultation!

Schuck Law (503) 974-6142 (360) 566-9243 http://wageclaim.org

.com

dical atient enter 456* H AVE

POPPI’S PIPES

s Center.com

W K TER

H d.

P. 43

PIPES, SCALES, SHISHA, GRINDERS, KRATOM, VAPORIZERS, HOOKAHS, DETOX, ETC. 1712 E. Burnside 503-206-7731 3619 SE Division 971-229-1760 OPEN: Mon.-Sat.10am-9pm www.poppispipes.com

REVIVED CELLULAR Sell us your Old Smartphone Or Cellphones Today! Buy/Sell/Repair. <\#13>7816 N. Interstate 503-286-1527 www.revivedcellular.com

Medical Marijuana

card Services clinic

Summer Gu20i1d3 e

Summer Guide 2014 Summer Guide is WW’s annual homage to all things fun in the sun! FEATURING:

503-384-Weed (9333) www.mmcsclinic.com 4911 NE Sandy Blvd, Portland • open 7 days

• Huge Discounts on Super Fun Kites • Banner/Pole/ Bracket Combo Kits 1332 NE Broadway · 503.282.1214 · elmersﬂag.com

LEAHNASH.COM

�� WWEEK.COM | VOL 39/33 | 06.19.2013

•

A comprehensive events calendar with a pick for every single day

•

Features on swimming holes, lawn games, barbecue, and beer

•

A guide to the hidden gems in our city parks…and more!

Look for it in our upcoming issue – June 18 Space Reservation Deadline: Today • Ad Materials Due: June 12 Regular advertising rates apply • 503.243.2122 • advertising@wweek.com

Willamette Week JUNE 11, 2014 wweek.com

DREW BARDANA

CALL IN SICK, QUIT YOUR JOB—HERE’S HOW TO PARTY AT 7 AM AS THE WORLD CUP TAKES OVER PORTLAND. he average American switches jobs every four years or so. We find it a startling coincidence that the World Cup also comes once every four years. So this is your time to quit that job, “work from home,” or go on vacation, because starting Thursday, June 12, the World Cup arrives. And it’ll be a 9-to-5 job all by itself. But don’t worry: Breakfast will be served. And it comes with beer. A host of Portland bars and restaurants will open as early as 7 am to show those morning soccer games (we chronicle 23 of them starting on page 16). And those places will be packed. In a heartwarming phenomenon completely out of our city’s navel-gazing character, Portland is about to spend 31 days going completely batshit for something that has nothing to do with Portland. Maybe you noticed this in 2002, when you locked yourself in the Moon and Sixpence until 7 am with six warm Boddingtons ales. Or maybe it was 2010, when you found yourself rooting with a tableful of Africans against your own country’s team, as Ghana showed America what heart looks like. Or maybe it’s your first World Cup, and you’re just about to find out.

But the World Cup in Portland is amazing. If this year’s Google search stats are any indication, we care more about the World Cup than any other U.S. city. We may not watch soccer when we’re home alone (the stats don’t lie on page 22), but we cheer wildly at bars during matches played by Hondurans against Germans, Germans against Australians, and Brazilians against everybody. Much more than during the Olympics—which, let’s face it, are kind of like a variety show without a celebrity host—Portland takes part in truly global pandemonium during the World Cup. So here’s your guide to getting up to speed, from a primer on each country’s team (page 19) and its tenuous connection to our city, to the best places to watch the games, including a pop-up beer garden (page 16) and a St. Johns dive that’s pairing international beers with contenders (page 19). But take note that we’ll totally trade in our generous world spirit if the Americans manage to escape their ridiculously tough bracket against Germany, Portugal and Ghana. If not, you’ll find us at Bazi Bierbrasserie, cheering on the Belgians with a goofylooking glass of Kwak. MATTHEW KORFHAGE.

Willamette Week JUNE 11, 2014 wweek.com

BALLS AND BREWS

cont.

Bus stop Cafe at World Cup Beer garden

EARLY BOOTS WHERE TO WATCH THE WORLD CUP LIVE IN PORTLAND. BY tre e Pa l m e d o, m a rti n ci z m ar m atth e w Ko r f h ag e

and

Costello’s travel Cafe

You want the Bosnian soccer experience? You come here and order a big plate of cevapi with a Karlovacko beer imported from Croatia. (Warning: This beer is expensive and not delicious after its ocean journey—so also consider the Nice Lady pale ale, brewed for the bar by Lompoc.) The staff at this bar, which shows pretty much every soccer match of some import, are Bosnian and Croatian, and their moods vary depending on the quality of play on display. This being the World Cup, they’re likely to be in good spirits.

screen. God forbid you should have to use the restroom at such times. And if you avail yourself of those $2 cans of Old German or the stiff well pours, you probably will.

243-2122

21st avenue world cup Beer garden 625 NW 21st Ave., 202-744-1496, facebook.com/worldcupbeergarden. 8:30 am-9 pm daily. go for: Breakfast sandwiches with beer and bros.

When it opened in 2011, the renovated Timbers stadium caused a sea change on once-grizzled Northwest 21st Avenue (see “The Douchification of Northwest 21st Avenue,” WW, April 11, 2012). Mostly, the drunk-dense strip just off Burnside Street has become a place for bros and the ladybros who love them. But now, all that soccer-centric drinking culture actually seems kinda cool, thanks to this pop-up beer garden in the former Gypsy bar parking lot. Every World Cup game will be screened live, with replays and highlights airing at night. Stop by early to get a Sriracha Mix-a-Lot or Yolko Ono from the Fried Egg I’m in Love cart and a cup of joe from Sterling. Later, look for fish and chips from Bus Stop Cafe (in an actual bus) and local beer. There’s free Wi-Fi all day, which means you could pretty much make this your office for two weeks. 4-4-2 Soccer Bar 1739 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 238-3693, 442soccerbar. com. Open for early games. go for: Bosnia and Herzegovina, little sausages, Euro-

pean lagers. 16

4-4-2 soCCer Bar

Willamette Week JUNE 11, 2014 wweek.com

Bazi Bierbrasserie 1522 SE 32nd Ave., 234-8888, bazipdx.com. Open early for must-watch games, otherwise at 3 pm. go for: Belgian beer, Belgian frites, Belgian soccer.

For a well-curated selection of top-notch games, head to Bazi. The bar’s soccer-loving management held a meeting to determine which games to show. Bazi is an official American Outlaws supporter bar, so they’ll show the U.S. team’s group along with Belgium, Brazil and England. Belgophiles know Bazi, though it’s slightly hidden off Hawthorne Boulevard, as Portland’s foremost bastion of Trappist ales, stoemp and frites. But you’ll also find a few Northwest IPAs on tap, not to mention beer cocktails and genever cocktails with “sexy cubes,” as well as a very pleasant chutney burger with bacon, peanut butter and onion marmalade. Beulahland

118 NE 28th Ave., 235-2794, beulahlandpdx.com. Open at 9 am daily. go for: England games and English muffins.

This beloved old-school Swiss Army knife of a coffee shop/bar/living room/indie jukebox will show every World Cup game on two screens. A longtime outpost for Anglophiles and Timbers fans, the Northeast 28th Avenue mainstay fills its entire southside room with chairs at game time, pulling down a massive HD projection

the Bitter end 1981 W Burnside St., 432-8326, bitterendpdx.com. Open for early games. go for: Oysters and IPAs.

The reopened Bitter End is a pleasant theme-park version of a Portland soccer pub: The softwood bar’s underside is wrapped in corrugated aluminum, the walls are tiled with fake woodpiles and flat-screen TVs, and the space between the restrooms contains a faux wall of player lockers. Meanwhile, more than 20 beer taps crowd the space behind the bar, with an extremely strong preference for IPAs, lagers and Pilsners. Owner Dwayne Beliakoff has also initiated a raw-oyster bar and fancy hamburgers on puffy buns. Breakfast will be served. Blitz ladd

2239 SE 11th Ave., 236-3592, blitzladd.com. Open for early games. go for: Mimosas; the many televisions; Honduras games

with their fans, who’ve adopted the place. Football (the American version) fans know Blitz as a great place to get a drink at 10 am. If you try that during the World Cup, you’ll be an hour late. The bar will be showing every game, offering food and drink specials and serving breakfast with $2 mimosas. The Pearl District location will also be open for every game. the Blue room at cartlandia 8145 SE 82nd Ave., 358-7873, cartlandia.com. Open for early games. go for: Food-cart fare, a framed Pelé autograph.

The bar at this 82nd Avenue food-cart pod will show every World Cup game on five TVs ranging up to 70

BALLS AND BREWS PHOTOS BY THOMOAS TEAL

CONT.

THE BITTER END

inches. It will serve biscuits and gravy and breakfast burritos in the early hours when carts aren’t open, and offer $4 craft-beer specials. The bar also has something of a sports shrine, including a framed autographed by Pelé and a picture signed by every member of the original 1975 Portland Timbers. Caffe Umbria 303 NW 12th Ave., 241-5300, caffeumbria.com. Open at 7 am daily. Go for: Forza Italia and dark roast coffee.

Seattle-transplant coffee roaster Caffe Umbria’s Pearl District cafe has been somewhere between genteel and sterile through most of its existence, a composition in taupe. But on weekends, it’s home to avid calcio fans who’d rather amp up on coffee than beer while watching Italian league games, with a screen framed into a brick wall like a fireplace into a hearth. As in previous years, it should be a hotbed for Italy games. The Cheerful Bullpen

1730 SW Taylor St., 222-3063, cheerfulbullpen.com. Open at 8 am for early games. Go for: America, y’all.

Sister to Portland State hangout the Cheerful Tortoise, this sports bar’s cozy couch nook has become a kind of Goose Hollow rec room for football fans. If you favor the other sport by that name, however, now is the time to colonize and consume various food and drink specials, including all-you-can-eat penne pasta on Saturdays and $5 bloody marys on Sundays. While all World Cup matches will be aired at the Cheerful Bullpen, this venue will especially heat up during official watch parties for the U.S. organized by American Outlaws Portland. The Cheerful Tortoise 1939 SW 6th Ave., 224-3377, cheerfultortoise.com. Open at 7 am weekdays, 9 am weekends.

4-4-2 SOCCER BAR

THE BLUE ROOM AT CARTLANDIA

Go for: College kids celebrating their first drunken World

Cup. This low-rent PSU watering hole boasts 41 TVs by our count. Karaoke-singing students and keno-obsessed construction workers bump elbows over giant chili dogs and pitchers of Bud. The stalwart sports bar will open before the games begin, show everything, and offer food and drink specials.

lands’ games, and a travel agent will bring in a huge crowd for Ghana vs. Germany on June 21. Kells does traditional European breakfast—now’s the time to develop a taste for rashers, grilled soda bread and roasted tomatoes—but they’ll have special food items for every country’s games and will auction off each team’s jersey. Plus, you can smoke a victory cigar downstairs. The brewpub on Northwest 21st Avenue will also be open early every day.

Costello’s Travel Caffe

Lompoc 5th Quadrant

2222 NE Broadway, 287-0270, costellostravelcaffe. com. Open for breakfast at 7 am, staying open late for games. Go for: A worldly crowd favoring Brazil, Spain and

3901 N Williams Ave., 288-3996, lompocbrewing. com/fifth-quadrant. Open for early games. Go for: Local beer and breakfast burritos.

Argentina. Costello’s is a favorite of the expat community, and has been busy during the last two World Cups. Look for a European breakfast platter. Horse Brass 4534 SE Belmont St., 232-2202, horsebrass.com. Open for early games. Go for: Bangers, Brits, beer.

The beer-centric British pub will serve a full English breakfast to kick off early game days. All games will be shown live, and take note: There are more draft taps at Horse Brass than there are teams in the World Cup. You could down one for each and still have more drinking to do. Kells

112 SW 2nd Ave., 227-4057, kellsirishportland.com. Open for early games. Go for: Orange-clad Dutch fans, themed food, victory

cigars. Ireland isn’t in the field this time, which makes this bar neutral turf. Though a packed house is pretty much guaranteed for any game, it’ll be especially lively when the Dutch Society paints the place orange for the Nether-

This North Portland outpost of the Lompoc empire will be showing every game live, with breakfast burritos and bloody marys topping the menu for morning matches. Mad Greek Deli 1740 E Burnside St., 232-0274, madgreekdeli.com. Open for early games. Go for: Because you can’t have too many gyros.

As an official Timbers pub, this Greek deli has built a sizable soccer following, and it’s a good place to go if you’re looking to follow the Hellenic team. Go for the messy, soak-through-the-paper gyro ($5.75). Marathon Taverna

1735 W Burnside St., 224-1341, marathontaverna.com. Open at 7 am daily. Go for: Cheap gyros and the Greek team’s deliberately

boring style of play. Marathon will show every game. The dive bar’s sprawling interior has a flat-screen TV within eyeshot of every seat, and a legion of waitresses keep the cheap food coming (infamous $4 gyros) and the booze flowing. Screaming is considered an acceptable form of communication. CONT. on page 19 Willamette Week JUNE 11, 2014 wweek.com

uly Publishes: J

2 3 , 2 01 4

adline: July 16 e D n o ti a rv e Space Res Due: July 17 Ad Materials

Best Of Portland is WWâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s annual compendium of our favorite things in Portland, with a strong emphasis on the weird and wacky characters that make this city great! 503.243.2122 â&#x20AC;˘ advertising@wweek.com

Willamette Week JUNE 11, 2014 wweek.com

BALLS AND BREWS © K O E N VA N W E E L / E PA / C O R B I S

CONT. The Moon and Sixpence 2014 NE 42nd Ave., 288-7802. Open for early games except June 14-15, 17 and 19. Go for: An experience much like actual British

people enjoy in their soccer pubs. This dark and cozy pub will be wheeling out the projector for nearly every game. Cheer on the Brits with bangers and mash, and peruse the multipage beer menu. Pacific Pie Co.

1668 NW 23rd Ave., 894-9482, pacificpie.com. Open early for Australia and U.S. games. Go for: Australian meat pies and the total annihila-

tion of Australia’s team. Sarah Curtis-Fawley and Aussie expat Chris Powell, who bake traditional pies ($6.50 each) fresh each morning, will show World Cup games every day at both Pacific Pie Co. locations. Die-hard U.S. and Aussie supporters should head to the Northwest 23rd Avenue location, which will open at 8 am for those squads’ early games and to serve breakfast pies. Piazza Italia 1129 NW Johnson St., 478-0619, piazzaportland. com. Open for early games. Go for: The chance to learn Italian curse words.

Croissants and coffee will be served for all morning games. Stay all day—the restaurant is staying open—for a hearty Italian lunch and dinner. River Pig Saloon 529 NW 13th Ave., 971-266-8897, riverpigsaloon. com. Open for early games. Go for: Shit on a shingle, the chance to touch an elk

for good luck. This is the best spot in the Pearl District to watch the World Cup. The airy, hard-wooded museum of barroom slate, chainsaw and taxidermy will be showing all games on multiple TVs—including a massive flat-screen in the back—and will throw down breakfast sandwiches, eggs, bacon and pancakes for early matches. Slim’s

8635 N Lombard St., 286-3854, slimspdx.com. Open for early games. Go for: Because you’re in St. Johns and want to

watch soccer without having to drive for 20 minutes. Not only will Slim’s show every game, but this St. Johns lounge will also offer special international beers paired with World Cup contenders. St. Honoré 3333 SE Division St., 971-279-4433, sainthonorebakery.com. Open daily at 7 am. Go for: France—until the bike race starts.

Francophiles descend on this bakery chain’s three locations, which will serve buttery brioches during every game. The French squad’s June 15 opener coincides with Sunday brunch and bottomless mimosas at the Division Street location. When the Tour de France begins July 5, St. Honoré will show cycling in the morning and soccer in the afternoon. Thirsty Lion 71 SW 2nd Ave., 222-2155, thirstylionpub.com. Open for early games. Go for: Scotch eggs, Kung Pao chicken, panini,

French dip sandwiches, burgers, fish tacos and IPAbattered fish and chips all under one roof. Thirsty Lion Pub is part of a Western chain and one of the better places in Portland to drink a pint and watch a Black Shirts rugby match during afternoon happy hour. But it’s also popular among Timbers fans, and come World Cup season, soccer fans of all stripes.

GHANA AFTER THE BALL: Dutch striker Robin van Persie (left) in action against Kwadwo Asamoah of Ghana during an international friendly May 31 in the Netherlands. The Dutch won the World Cup tuneup, 1-0.

WORLD CUP SCOUTING REPORT THE CAST OF CHARACTERS IN SOCCER’S BIGGEST FREE-FOR-ALL BY A LEX TOMCHA K SCOTT

243-2122

The World Cup starts with two weeks of utter chaos. Called the group stage, teams compete within eight groups of four teams each. Each group plays a roundrobin tournament. There are always multiple games being played, and all of them matter. The top two teams from each group then go on to the soccer equivalent of the Sweet Sixteen, called the knockout stage. The United States will have a tough time making it that far, seeing that it got saddled with a tough draw in Group G against Germany, Portugal and Ghana. Here’s a little scouting report on the royal rumble:

GROUP A: Fogo de Chao BRAZIL Aka: Canarinho (Little Canary) Scouting report: The bookies’ favorite, Brazil will win the tournament if two things go right. First, the restive home crowd needs to inspire Canarinho rather than heighten the team’s nerves. Second, horror-haired superstar Neymar needs to play dazzling soccer from start to finish. Portland connection: More Brazilians play soccer abroad than any other nationality, but the Portland Timbers have never had a Brazilian player. Just another way Portland is keeping itself weird. CAMEROON Aka: Les Lions Indomptables (The Indomitable Lions) Scouting report: In the 1990s, the Indomitable Lions were one of the most exciting teams in the world. They have retained a love for the violent foul into the 21st century, but not their attacking elan. Aging striker Samuel Eto’o is still world-class, but the team has more spoilers than creators.

Portland connection: Former Timbers ne’er-do-well Franck Songo’o’s father was a goalkeeper for Cameroon in the team’s dominant era. Whether that’s a reason to root for Cameroon depends on your feelings toward the son.

CROATIA Aka: Vatreni (The Blazers) Scouting report: Teams that lose their first game almost never advance in the World Cup, so opening against host Brazil is a massive obstacle for Croatia. Star striker Mario Mandzukic has been suspended for that game, making it even more daunting. Croatia is an excellent team, though, and the incredibly cerebral midfield trio of Luka Modric, Mateo Kovacic and Ivan Rakitic can threaten any team. Portland connection: Ex-Trail Blazers guard Drazen Petrovic won a silver medal playing basketball for Croatia in the 1992 Olympics. Supporting Croatia would be a touching way to mourn his untimely death in 1993. Also, the national team’s official nickname translates as “The Blazers,” so... MEXICO Aka: El Tri

Scouting report: A difficult qualifying campaign means Mexico’s confidence has sunk from its usual “shaky” to “fatalistic.” The World Cup is a new animal, though, and even though Croatia is much better, Mexico doesn’t have to open against Brazil. The indomitable spirit of striker Oribe Peralta is the driving force of this team. Portland connection: For one thing, El Tri is the most popular team in the United States, a nation that happens to contain Portland. For another, the team plays in green jerseys at home and red away, just like the Timbers.

GROUP B: Fields of Gallipoli AUSTRALIA Aka: The Socceroos Scouting report: Australia got a bum draw, playing three teams in the group stage that have realistic ambitions of winning the tournament. Australia probably wouldn’t get far even in an easier group, with spent force Tim Cahill leading a generation of young, but not too promising, players. Portland connection: The team is nicknamed the Socceroos, delightfully tacky to irony-loving Portlanders. CONT. on page 20 Willamette Week JUNE 11, 2014 wweek.com

BALLS AND BREWS

CONT.

CHILE Aka: La Roja

for amateur side Vermont Voltage, he is the most obscure person mentioned in this article by a comfortable margin.

years that its soccer identity is based on all-out, reckless attacking. This team can’t defend to save its life, and isn’t too good at finishing chances, but the likes of red-hot Alexis Sanchez will rocket at the opposing goal thrillingly. If Chile can beat Australia in its opener, it could provide a boost. Portland connection: Portland is known as a bicycle town. The dynamic soccer move known as a bicycle kick is called a “chilena” in Chile, which claims to have invented it.

JAPAN Aka: Samurai Blue Scouting report: In the last 20 years, Japan has been teaching players infallible ball control from a young age, and it shows in this team. Japan is the rising force in world soccer, and if young stars like Yoichiro Kakitani can deliver in this World Cup, the sky’s the limit for this team. Portland connection: Sapporo, on the island of Hokkaido, is Portland’s oldest sister city, and since none of the 23 players selected by Japan coach Alberto Zaccheroni is from that town, show the Japan side your opprobrium.

Scouting report: Chile has decided within the last eight

THE NETHERLANDS

Aka: Clockwork Orange Scouting report: Since the 1970s, Holland has been the

world’s wellspring of new and inventive soccer ideas, but the Dutch tarnished their reputation with their ugly, violent 2010 team. They will be looking to young midfielder Jordy Clasie for inspiration, but they face masterful Spain in their opening game. A defeat could make it a difficult tournament for the Netherlands. Portland connection: With the free-thinking society that inspired it, its players’ iconoclastic nature and its unexpected success, the Dutch team of the ’70s draws comparisons to the Trail Blazers of the same era. But the team’s current incarnation is distinctly of the Oden-era variety. SPAIN Aka: La Furia Roja (The Red Fury) Scouting report: The defending World Cup champions have spent the last six years redefining modern soccer, proving that a team can be built on nothing but flawless ball skills. They are still built around the subtle gifts of maestro Xavi, but the 34-year-old is a player in decline, like many on the Spanish squad. Winning this tournament would validate Spain as the greatest international team ever, but that looks unlikely. Portland connection: The Trail Blazers have had three Spanish national team players: Rudy Fernandez, Sergio Rodriguez and Victor Claver.

GROUP D: Got the Blues COSTA RICA Aka: Los Ticos (The Costa Ricans) Scouting report: Los Ticos are one of the least-talented teams in the World Cup, but they will pack the defense and hope for luck. Their only hope of a successful tournament is to have a breakout performance from attacker Joel Campbell, who plays for English club Arsenal. Portland connection: Timbers midfielder Rodney Wallace would have been on the bench for Costa Rica had he not injured his knee in last year’s MLS playoffs. ENGLAND

Aka: The Three Lions Scouting report: England’s crippling self-loathing as a

soccer country will be the team’s archnemesis. If glittering talents Daniel Sturridge and Raheem Sterling can forget no one at home believes in them, they could do great things. Portland connection: At the time of writing , the Timbers

were close to signing defender Joleon Lescott, who played 26 games for England. Not getting picked for England’s roster lowered his value to the point where Portland could afford him, so give thanks. ITALY Aka: Gli Azzurri (The Blues) Scouting report: Italy will travel more than any team at the World Cup because its governing body inexplicably decided to base it far away from all of its group-stage games. The languid creativity of Andrea Pirlo could thrive under any conditions, but Gli Azzurri, who usually start slowly, might need other teams to fail if they are to have success. Portland connection: In the 1920s, an area in Southwest Portland was known as Little Italy because it had a large Italian immigrant population. Now it is known as Portland State University. URUGUAY

Aka: La Celeste (The Sky Blue One) Scouting report: No national team responds better to pres-

sure than Uruguay, because no country is defined by soccer like this tiny nation that has won two World Cups. Nevertheless, the fortunes of this year’s La Celeste will be defined by whether world-beating striker Luis Suarez is fit. Portland connection: Uruguay has about 3 million people, like Oregon, and has one large central port. The difference is that Uruguay has won two World Cups.

GROUP E: Vive la France! ECUADOR Aka: La Tri

Scouting report: Ecuador could surprise with a starting

lineup full of underrated players who have a good under-

GROUP C: Wake Up to Colombia GREECE Aka: Piratiko (The Pirate Ship) Scouting report: Ten years ago, Greece won the European championship playing soccer that was impossible to watch, and since then this minor nation on the soccer stage has insisted on being as obstructive and defensively entrenched as possible in every major game. Our best advice is to avoid watching this team at all costs. Portland connection: Portland has a terrifically active Greek community, and has hosted an annual Greek festival for 62 years. COLOMBIA Aka: Los Cafeteros (The Coffee Growers) Scouting report: The golden age of Colombian soccer is on the horizon. The team has a half-dozen goal-machine strikers to call on, but this tournament might be too soon for its promising defense and midfield. The silky talents of creator James Rodriguez will be a sight to see, though. Portland connection: The team is nicknamed the Coffee Growers, a vocation that Portland’s coffee-making workforce can relate to. Also, Timbers linchpin Diego Chara has played for Colombia. IVORY COAST

Aka: Les Elephants Scouting report: This generation of Ivorian players has

been hailed as the country’s “Golden Generation,” and like every group of soccer players ever afforded that nickname, it has been a failure so far. The 30-something Ivorians have a last chance to prove themselves. Midfielder Yaya Touré can run a game like few others, but he’s nursing an injury. Don’t bank on Les Elephants to buck a history of failure. Portland connection: Abidjan-born midfielder Arsene Oka played seven games for the Timbers in 2007. Now playing 20

Willamette Week JUNE 11, 2014 wweek.com

“BRAZUCA”: The 2014 FIFA World Cup ball.

CONT. standing of the game. Striker Enner Valencia is in red-hot form and could be a breakout star of this tournament. Playing in a weak group, Ecuador should have a good chance of reaching the knockout round. Portland connection: Covered in endangered rainforests full of resources ripe for the squandering, Ecuador is a growing cause célèbre for environmentalists. The Climate Trust lists its location as Ecuador but its mailing address on Southwest Yamhill Street. FRANCE

Aka: Les Bleus Scouting report: The French have imploded in

every tournament since 2006, but they have as much raw talent as any team at the World Cup. If this team can put infighting aside, it can get as far as a fearsome midfield containing dynamo Paul Pogba can take it. Portland connection: The Trail Blazers’ French star, Nicolas Batum, is a massive soccer fan who’s personal friends with many Les Bleus stars. HONDURAS Aka: Los Catrachos (The Hondurans) Scouting report: Los Catrachos are one of the lesser teams in the World Cup—perhaps weaker than in 2010, when they struggled. Playing in a relatively easy group, Honduras will rely heavily on physical hustlers like Boniek Garcia. Portland connection: The Timbers will face Honduran club Olimpia in the first round of the CONCACAF Champions League this fall. Four of Olimpia’s players are on the Honduran squad, including goalkeeper and captain Noel Valladares. SWITZERLAND Aka: Schweizer Nati (The Nats) Scouting report: The Swiss always threaten to blossom into a team with the talent to take on the world, but always seem to play too conservatively for their ability. If teams wilt in the Brazilian heat, that could work to Switzerland’s advantage. The raw talent of midfielders Granit Xhaka and Xherdan Shaqiri will only get the Swiss far if they take risks. Portland connection: The Swiss are famously neutral, while Portland is famously a city of opinionated busybodies. Death to Switzerland!

GROUP F: Cry for Argentina ARGENTINA Aka: La Albiceleste (The White and Sky Blue) Scouting report: Lionel Messi, the world’s best player, is the captain, and he has plenty of worldbeating talent supporting him in the team’s attack. But Argentina’s coach, Alejandro Sabella, famously covers his eyes when opponents have the ball because his side cannot defend. Portland connection: Four Argentines play for the Timbers, and Portland star Diego Valeri even played a couple of games for the national team. So this is pretty much our team. Death to America! BOSNIA AND HERZEGOVINA

Aka: Zmajevi (Dragons) Scouting report: Misfit genius Zvjezdan Misi-

movic pulls the strings on a team built around wild, unpredictable creators. He’ll mesmerize an entire defense into submission one minute, then trip over his feet the next, and he’s not the only one. Bosnia could do anything at this tournament, including go down in flames, since it has the only defense more suicidal than Argentina’s. Portland connection: In 1937, Bosnian-born ski

BALLS AND BREWS

instructor Otto Lang opened a now-defunct ski school on Mount Hood. Legions of Timbers fans also conduct their away-game cheering at 4-4-2 Soccer Bar, hosted by Muhamed Mujcic-Mufko, who was briefly a pro soccer player in Bosnia. IRAN

Aka: Sirane Iran (The Iranian Lions) Scouting report: Iran will remain a mystery even

to its coaches until the opening game because U.S. sanctions make it all but impossible to organize practice matches. But the country produces players with a rare combination of talent and steel, with the clever and ruthless Masoud Shojaei and the wild wizard Ashkan Dejagah the biggest weapons. Portland connection: Iranian defender Steven Beitashour plays for the Vancouver Whitecaps, rivals of the Timbers. NIGERIA

Aka: The Super Eagles Scouting report: Don’t bet against a generation

full of fearless and exciting new faces like Sunday Mba turning heads in this tournament. Actually, don’t bet at all where Nigeria is concerned. The country has awe-inspiring soccer talent, but its team is still best known for flagrant institutional corruption. Nigeria could win the whole thing, but it could also throw all of its matches on purpose. Portland connection: The Super Eagles cruelly tantalized former Timbers striker Bright Dike with the prospect of inclusion, but ultimately left him on the sidelines. And they didn’t even have the decency to call up the Seattle Sounders’ Nigerian star, Obafemi Martins, and handicap the Timbers’ chief rivals.

GROUP G: G Is for Germany GERMANY Aka: The Nationalmannschaft Scouting report: Stung by repeated defeats at the hands of more patient passing teams, Germany is trying something new at this World Cup: emulating Spain . Rather than counterattacking, it will play without a true striker and try to hold the ball. That might be a challenge for Germany’s best player, Mesut Ozil, the ultimate counterattacker. Portland connection: Many of Germany’s World Cup players will come to Portland when club team Bayern Munich, the reigning European champion, plays the MLS All-Stars on Aug. 6 at Providence Park. GHANA

Aka: The Black Stars Scouting report: Ghana is soccer’s secret power-

house. In 2006, the Black Stars got to the second round of the World Cup without taking the tournament seriously. Four years later, they buckled down and got within a whisker of the semifinals. Being in a difficult group is a challenge, but if Ghana can beat the United States in its opener, it will be in a commanding position. Striker Asamoah Gyan is the leader. Portland connection: A succession of Ghana coaches have denied the Timbers’ Kalif Alhassan a place on their side. PORTUGAL

Aka: Os Navegadores (The Navigators) Scouting report: Captain Cristiano Ronaldo is

the reigning world player of the year. His neck muscles alone would be a world-class striker, and his ball tricks are mesmerizing. Though Portugal CONT. on page 22 Willamette Week JUNE 11, 2014 wweek.com

CONT.

SOCCER-STAT CITY BY J OHN LOCA N THI

Sports cities are an interesting, albeit neurotic, lot. With one swish of the net as the buzzer sounds, the streets are filled with strangers hugging strangers. A blown lead can leave a pall over an entire town that never fully goes away. It can get to the point where some cities define themselves by their love of a specific sport. Eugene is Tracktown, USA. In a proactive move, Portland declared itself “Soccer City, USA” during the Portland Timbers’ original incarnation in the North American Soccer

District of Columbia

3.32

Missouri California Ohio Pennsylvania Washington Utah New York Oregon

3.17

-23.46%

ttle Sea

lph lade

Lak e

Phi

Salt

um Col

bus

Jos

City

sas

tlan

Kan

Po r

D.C . ton ,

Portland Timbers vs. Portland Trail Blazers Houston Dynamo vs. Houston Rockets

City sas Kan

e San

Jos

., D .C Wa sh

d tlan Po r

Los Angeles Galaxy vs. Los Angeles Lakers

Yor k

-20.95% D.C. United vs. Washington Wizards

-22.78%

New

-11.53%

Most municipal parks with soccer fields, by city

ttle

+5.59%

ing

Ang

Union vs. +28.19% Philadelphia (woeful) Philadelphia 76ers

Los

MLS and NBA games are played in similar-sized stadiums. How full are the soccer stadiums compared to arenas for the more-established basketball league, measured in percentage of capacity for the most recent seasons? (Sorry, Seattle.)

Yor k

FC Dallas vs. Dallas Mavericks

-26.46%

Chicago Fire vs. Chicago Bulls

-29.14%

New York Red Bulls vs. New York Knicks

Times hosting the U.S. men’s national team, by city Unlike national teams in many other countries, the U.S. has no official home stadium. Instead, it roams the nation playing in different cities to drum up interest in the team. While the U.S. has mostly played in large markets, it has also developed a close relationship with smaller cities like Columbus, Ohio, where it is undefeated. (Los Angeles includes games played in Pasadena; New York includes games played in New Jersey.)

England Revolution -30.15% New vs. Boston Celtics

SOURCE: NWSL

Los Angeles

National Women’s Soccer League average attendance (2013 season)

Washington, D.C.

New York 10

Seattle

13,320

Columbus Kansas City

5 5

Philadelphia 4,626

FC Kansas City

Washington Spirit

Salt Lake City

Seattle Reign

SOURCE: NIELSEN.COM

2010 World Cup TV ratings by city Washington, D.C. New York San Jose Los Angeles Seattle Salt Lake Columbus Kansas City Philadelphia Portland

1.7

2.2 2.1 2 2

2.6 2.6

San Jose

2,306

3.6 3.6 3.5

Overall soccer-ness of MLS team name Many American soccer teams have adopted the naming conventions of more well-known (and popular) international squads. From the use of “Football Club” in a country where football involves pads, helmets and chronic head trauma to more nonsensical names like Real Salt Lake, WW endorses this. (Coincidentally, Salt Lake City’s minor-league women’s soccer team Real Salt Lake Women sounds like the world’s tamest softcore porn movie.) 1. Real Salt Lake 2. D.C. United 3. Chivas USA (L.A.) 4. Sporting Kansas City 5. Seattle Sounders 6. Philadelphia Union

7. Columbus Crew 8. New York Red Bulls 9. Portland Timbers 10. Los Angeles Galaxy 11. San Jose Earthquakes

SOURCE: JOHN LOCANTHI

Portland Thorns

Portland 3,620

SOURCE: SOCCER HISTORIAN D AV I D L I T T E R E R

Willamette Week JUNE 11, 2014 wweek.com

1.5 1.49 1.45 1.39 1.31

MLS attendance compared to the NBA, by city

KOREA REPUBLIC

San

2.47 2.34

Aka: Taeguk Warriors Scouting report: The biggest difference between South

Korea and everyone else is that Korean players do not take dives, or feign injury, to draw fouls. The Taeguk Warriors aren’t one of the more thoughtful teams, but they are fun to watch because they run harder and play faster than anyone. Striker Son Heung-Min has considerable skill. Portland connection: Retired defender Cho Young-Jeung, who played in nearly 100 games for South Korea, spent a season with the Timbers in the early 1980s.

eles

SOURCE: MLS TEAM ROSTERS

The total championships won by each city’s MLS, NASL, NWSL and NCAA Division I soccer teams.

Salt Lake vs. +8.04% Real Utah Jazz

BELGIUM Aka: Les Diables Rouges (The Red Devils) Scouting report: So many people have tipped the Belgians as the World Cup’s dark horse that they have become one of the favorites. But no one in Belgium has any idea how a tiny soccer backwater suddenly produced a preponderance of world-class players. Captain Vincent Kompany shoulders a lot of pressure as a symbol for the country’s collective aspirations. Portland connection: The closest Portland has to an analog in the tournament, Belgium is known for beer, bikes and being suddenly and tenuously trendy. RUSSIA Aka: Russians do not care for such trivialities. Scouting report: There is always one breathtaking Russian performance at a major tournament before the team makes a disappointing exit. The team is full of virtuosos with the talent to play anywhere, but it also has relied on chronically creaky defender Sergei Ignashevich for a decade. Portland connection: During the 19th century, Russia claimed the Pacific Coast of North America almost as far south as the San Francisco Bay. It’s worth noting nobody took those claims seriously, but the Russians are still our former colonial overlords. Death to Russia!

Soccer championships, by city

California—with a population of 38 million—easily produces the most MLS and National Women’s Soccer League players. Things get a little more interesting when you break down the number of pros per capita.

S O U R C E S : C I T Y PA R K S A N D R E C R E AT I O N D E PA R T M E N T S

ALGERIA Aka: Les Fennecs (The Desert Foxes) Scouting report: The Foxes are destined to be an also-ran. On the African scene, Algeria always seems to outperform its talent, and it will need to do that to win even one game at the World Cup. Talented midfielder Sofiane Feghouli is great in Spanish club soccer because he can be a foil for others, but he can’t quite take control of a game like Algeria needs. Portland connection: Well, umm, former Timbers striker Frederic Piquionne played one season for Portsmouth in England, where one of his teammates was Algerian Nadir Belhadj.

SOURCES: MLS, NBA

GROUP H: The Belgian Stoemp

Professional soccer players by state, per million

Sea

UNITED STATES

Aka: The Stars and Stripes Scouting report: Coach Jürgen Klinsmann promised a new

American style of soccer based on Latin verve when he got the job in 2011. When that didn’t work, he fell back on the team’s traditional strength: its advantage in fitness and strength. The U.S. then had the misfortune of being put in a group with three of the brawniest teams in the tournament. The opener against Ghana is a must-win. Portland connection: This team is built around Seattle Sounders captain Clint Dempsey, who is also the U.S. captain. No Timbers made the squad. So cheer for the Yanks to stay in the tournament as long as possible, wrecking Seattle’s season in the process.

243-2122

League, in 1975. But which city has the strongest claim on that ethereal title? Is it New York, which first popularized the sport in the United States when the Cosmos signed Pelé in 1975? Is it Seattle, which blows all Major League Soccer attendance records out of the water? As the World Cup brings international attention to soccer, WW takes a look by the numbers at the American cities that have fully embraced the world’s most popular sport, and discovers that Portland is very good at watching soccer in person, and much less good at watching soccer on TV, or—you know–actually playing soccer.

New

has a clutch of enviable talent, the team is built to supply Cristiano, and its run in the tournament will end when he has an off day. Portland connection: ESPN will use the abbreviation “POR” to denote Portugal in its onscreen score box, just like it does for the Blazers and Timbers.

Wa sh

BALLS AND BREWS

CONT.

BALLS AND BREWS

AND FOR DOWNTIME BETWEEN GAMES... BY R E ID SP O L E K

243-2122

ACROSS 1 It is often followed by the word “number,” redundantly 4 Bikini tops 8 Amass over time 14 Atilt 16 Two-time NBA MVP Karl 17 The theme of this puzzle—and this week’s cover 18 Only team to qualify for every 17-across to date 19 Put in a tizzy 20 U.S. territory whose state national flower is the bougainvillea 21 Kind of gas or gear 22 Westernmost city in France

41 Landon Donovan got one for 2014’s 17-across, according to many fans

4 REIT purchase, often

47 Of the 19 17-acrosses to date, the number of times it was won by the host country

7 NASCAR sponsor since 1969

48 Acrosses and downs, for some

10 Dollar, say

5 Scoot 6 Babylonian sky god

8 Surprise party 9 Unit for Kay

36 Kind of desk at an investment bank (abbr.) 37 Small stands 38 The Green Dragon, in The Hobbit 42 Distributes specifically 43 District 11 representative from The Hunger Games 44 Carl with an estimated net worth of $24 billion

49 Wyo. neighbor

11 Calvin’s babysitter, to his parents

51 It might be in a garage or a yard

12 Fan’s collectible, colloquially

46 Natives of the Bering Sea

52 Synonym for 62-across

13 Unagi

48 Nook

15 Washington Post property not sold to Jeff Bezos

50 Beginning

54 Team with the record for most 17-across games lost in a row (9)

27 Adjective for the 2014 17-across 30 Count on

59 Botanic disease

31 Cobbler’s tools

60 Put off, perhaps

32 Holy book for 23% of the world population

61 Organic compounds

33 Coach of the 17-across national team for five different countries, a record

63 Winter hours for 49-across

39 Dean Martin song topic

DOWN

40 Italian painter Guido

3 Straight’s partner

42 Loser in the final of the first 17-across (and winner of two since then)

57 Player with the record for most 17-across games played (25)

24 Extra for Estaban?

2 Co-conspiring, as with a joke

62 Synonym for 52-across

1 Energy divided by time

20 See 22 Dollar, say 23 Rise again 24 Producer Griffin 25 Jai ____ 26 Coordinate 28 Accuse 29 Light appetizer? 30 Kanga’s son 32 Make, as a scarf 33 Flea plays it 34 Boxy Dodge 35 Louisiana chefs add “the holy trinity” to it

45 Butler’s decline?

51 Make meaningful hand motions? 52 Hullabaloo 53 Times off from écoles 54 Shaquille O’Neal received one in 2005 (abbr.) 55 The “Liberty Tree” of the American Revolution was one 56 Roman lunchtime? 57 Bikram accessory 58 ___ mode ANSWERS AT WWEEK.COM/ WORLDCUPXWORD Willamette Week JUNE 11, 2014 wweek.com

tickets on sale noW

OMSI PROUDLY PRESENTED BY

NFL

juStIn ferrell

iNstitute oF desigN @ staNFord

chrIS SAtchell

Scott bedbury

SAm hulIck

tIffAny ShAckleford

Steve Adler

braNdstream

genevIeve bell iNteL

SAm blAckmAn

useroNboard

mAtt mAnSfIeld NatioNaL geographic

tAd mcgeer

eLemeNtaL techNoLogies

aeroveL corporatioN

chArlIe brown

brenden mullIgAn

coNtext partNers

treI brundrett vox media

Andrew devIgAl harvis

mIke dubIn

cLuster

nAt pArker gLobe sherpa

ScÃ&#x2030; pIke citizeN

Nike

aaN

kArA SwISher

revere digitaL / re/code

AlAn wIzemAnn target

rujul zApArde FLightcar

mArA zepedA switchboard

ron wyden seNator

doLLar shave cLub

Talent & Exhibition Fair. Find your next job. Meet cool companies.

TECHFESTNW.COM/TICKETS

Willamette Week JUNE 11, 2014 wweek.com

STREET

WHO NEEDS NORMCORE? PORTLAND WILD STYLE. PHOTOS BY B R IA N A CER EZO, AU TU MN N ORTHCR A FT, EMILY PR A DO A N D COLLEEN SOHN wweek.com/street

Depression Treatment Ketamine Infusions

Proven to effectively treat depression* Administered by board certified anesthesiologist

www.portlandketamineclinic.com *Successful clinical trials by NIH, Yale University, Oxford, and others Willamette Week JUNE 11, 2014 wweek.com

Shandong

FOOD: A Russian restaurant, finally. MUSIC: Doug Paisley’s Canadian country. THEATER: Lizzie Borden rocks out. BOOKS: First period with Judy Blume.

29 31 42 45

www.shandongportland.com

SCOOP

Shandong

HOW CAN RIK BE DEAD WHEN WE HAVE HIS POEMS? Dad’s Double-Decker Day at the Races! Ride to Rose Cup action at Portland International Raceway. $10 Ride & Admission!

Boarding: 9:15 am Downtown Kells 9:30 am Kells Brew Pub Sunday, June 15 Jobs for the Food and Drink Industry Staffing solutions for owners and managers NYC/ CHI/ SFO/ SEA /PDX/ AUS

Join us early for a

FATHER’S DAY BREAKFAST! Kells Irish 112 SW 2nd 503-227-4057 Kells Brew Pub 210 NW 21st 503-719-7175

kellsirish.com

Untitled-2 1

6/10/12 9:41 AM

SPOILED FRUIT: Some Portland cider types are crying sour after Washington cideries won seven of nine categories, including two gold medals for host Seattle Cider Co., in the first Pacific Northwest Cider Awards last weekend. Among Oregon cideries, Bend’s Red Tank won two categories, while Reverend Nat’s, Anthem, 2 Towns and Wandering Aengus were left on the bottom rungs. Most of the contest judges were from Seattle. “An effort was indeed made to procure judges from throughout the Pacific Northwest, but with the tasting being on a Thursday afternoon [June 5] in Seattle, it made it difficult for people outside of Seattle to attend,” says festival organizer Caitlin Braam. “The tasting was double-blind, and we saw no reason for Seattle Cider Co. not to submit.... None of the judges were from Seattle Cider Co. or have any relation to the cidery.” Says Nat West of Reverend Nat’s Hard Cider: “It just looks bad when you win a lot at your own competition.” West does not plan to enter the competition he hosts, the Portland International Cider Cup on June 22. STAGE SNIPPETS: Grimm fans, start camping out at the box office. You might have glimpsed Silas Weir Mitchell and Sasha Roiz during Grimm shoots around town, but next spring, they’ll be in the flesh at Portland Center Stage. The city’s largest theater company has cast the two co-stars in WEIR MITCHELL (LEFT) AND ROIZ Three Days of Rain, Richard Greenberg’s Pulitzer-nominated play about a lauded architect and his troubled legacy. The show opens May 22. >> In other theater news, All the Way, a play commissioned last year by the Oregon Shakespeare Festival and written by Seattle playwright Robert Schenkkan, won the Tony Award for Best Play for its Broadway production, with star Bryan Cranston picking up a best actor award for his portrayal of Lyndon B. Johnson. The sequel to that play, The Great Society, opens July 23 at OSF. >> At the Drammys—Portland’s answer to the Tonys—Portland Playhouse won big, picking up eight awards, including best musical (The Light in the Piazza) and best play (A Christmas Carol). Oregon Children’s Theatre was the second most lauded company, with six awards. The city’s two biggest companies—Portland Center Stage and Artists Rep—each took home one Drammy. TOP OF THE POP: PDX Pop Now, the annual all-ages, all-local, all-free Portland music festival, has announced its 2014 lineup. Headliners include pop oddballs Wampire, gauzy synth-dreamers Blouse, and classical recontextualists the Portland Cello Project. The undercard ranges among St. Johns rap crew the Resistance, medieval metalheads Zirakzigil, electronic duo Philip Grass, jazz ensemble Barra Brown Quintet, and cumbia nine-piece Orquestra Pacifico Tropical. The festival is July 18-20 at Audio Cinema.

Willamette Week JUNE 11, 2014 wweek.com

D AV I D Z A U G H & MARC CARTWRIGHT

www.shandongportland.com

HEADOUT SNATCH 22 QUEENS BIANCA DEL RIO AND ADORE DELANO MAKE US CHOOSE BETWEEN EXPERIENCE AND CHARISMA, HATEFULNESS AND PARTY.

WILLAMETTE WEEK

WHAT TO DO THIS WEEK IN ARTS & CULTURE

Fans of the latest season of RuPaul’s Drag Race fall in two camps: #TeamBianca or #TeamAdore. Everyone knew Bianca Del Rio, the hateful and talented insult comic from New Orleans, would ultimately win the crown, but we also love an underdog, which we got in the green but quippy Adore Delano. Those who haven’t yet pledged allegiance to one queen have a tough decision before them this Pride Sunday, when both perform at the same time at different venues: Bianca reads Branx to filth, while Adore parties at Holocene. Is the dilemma putting you through it? Try peeking at the labels below. AARON SPENCER.

THURSDAY JUNE 12 LITHOP PDX [BOOKS] Combining the revelry of a pub crawl with the ingenuity of Portland’s literary community, this is the ideal event for lit lovers and enthusiastic boozers. Expect 54 readers in roughly 165 minutes at six venues along Northeast Alberta Street, with breaks for book signing, chatting and bar hopping. Northeast Alberta Street between 20th and 30th avenues, lithoppdx. com. 7 pm. Free.

COLIN ANDERSEN

FRIDAY JUNE 13 INTERNET CAT VIDEO FEST [CAT VIDEOS] Cat people will leave the comfort of their ammoniascented dwellings for this two-day fest, where they’ll stop forcing people to watch cat videos on their phones and start watching them on the big screen. DJ Whiskers provides pre-show entertainment, which hopefully includes a mash-up of “The Magical Mr. Mistoﬀelees” and the Meow Mix jingle. Hollywood Theatre, 4122 NE Sandy Blvd., 2814215. 7 and 9:30 pm. $10.

PIMENTO & PULLMAN [THEATER] Imago’s Jerry Mouawad brings together two unique oneacts: Thornton Wilder’s Pullman Car Hiawatha, about an overnight train trip in which time is suspended and planets and weather become characters, and Mouawad’s own Pimento, featuring three clowns who keep ﬁnding themselves in salacious scenarios. Imago Theatre, 17 SE 8th Ave., 231-3959. 8 pm. $10-$20. EXTRAVAGANZA [VOGUE BALL] Drag queens nod to the old school as they stomp the runway for a $250 prize. Judges include Heklina, from that infamous Shack in San Francisco, as well as Portland’s Poison Waters and Madame Anita DuMoore. Categories include Vogue-cabulary, Butch Queen Up in Drag, Fifth Element Realness and Rich Bitch. Rotture, 315 SE 3rd Ave., 234-5683. 9 pm. $10 advance, $15 at the door. 21+.

SATURDAY JUNE 14 GAYME OF THRONES [SCAVENGER HUNTY] Bands of wildling queers ravage downtown in this third annual photo scavenger hunt. Capture tasks on your mobile phone—a round of shots, a guy in his underwear, a (spoiler alert) crazy woman falling through the Moon Door—in return for honor and crafty trophies. A portion of the proceeds from drinks goes to Equity Foundation. The Royale, 317 NW Broadway, 432-8944. 1 pm. 21+.

ADORE DELANO

BIANCA DEL RIO

GO: Bianca Del Rio performs at #GrannyTrigger at Branx, 320 SE 2nd Ave., 234-5683, on Sunday, June 15. 8 pm (performance at 10:30 pm). $15, $40 VIP. Adore Delano performs at Dickslap at Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison St., 239-7639, on Sunday, June 15. 9 pm (performance around midnight...probably). $12.

SUNDAY JUNE 15 CHAD VANGAALEN [MUSIC] Shrink Dust, the new album from the atmospheric singer-songwriter, plays like an anthology of eerie tales, with ghostly vocals, lyrics about death, fear and mythology, and a stylistic palette that traverses several genres. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 288-3895. 9 pm. $12. 21+. Willamette Week JUNE 11, 2014 wweek.com

FOOD & DRINK

Happy Hour

= WW Pick. Highly recommended.

Monday–Saturday 4–6pm & 8pm–close

By MATTHEW KORFHAGE. Editor: MARTIN CIZMAR. Email: dish@wweek.com. See page 3 for submission instructions.

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 11 Beers Made by Walking Hike

This is your chance to meet a beer not after it’s brewed, but at its inception. Matt Wagoner of the Forest Park Conservancy will lead brewers and members of the public on a series of nature hikes meant to inspire beer that will serve as “portraits” of the Forest Park landscape. This month’s hike will go along the north end of Forest Park, and will include brewers from Sasquatch Brewing. The hikes are free but limited, so you’ll need to get a ticket at beersmadebywalking.com. Forest Park. 3-6 pm. Free.

Walk-Up Window 11am - 2pm

La Calaca Comelona 2304 SE Belmont | 503-239-9675 4-10pm Mon–Sat

THURSDAY, JUNE 12 DaNet Russian Pop-Up

Experience Lebanese cuisine at its best Call us for your event party & catering needs! Belly dancing Friday and Saturday evenings 223 SW STARK STREET PORTLAND, OR 503-274-0010 ALAMIRPORTLAND.COM

Every second Thursday, starting July 12, Vitaly Paley will get back to his Russian roots with a five-course, communal-table Russian dinner called DaNet at his otherwise unassuming Portland Penny Diner. The meal will start with blini—both traditional and potato—and move on to a succession of dumplings, soup and piroshki (meat pies), a meat or fish dish, and dessert. Expect courses to be paired with fancy infused vodkas, which the Russians are basically batty for. Oh, and there will also be batshit Slavic music. Portland Penny Diner, 410 SW Broadway, 228-7224. 6:30 pm. $65.

Summer’s First Barbecue

Redeemable only at Caffe D’arte® 1615 NE 15th Ave Portland OR 97232

Please come join us for the World Cup! We have two large TV screens and will be showing games all day.

So it’s neither summer nor the first barbecue. But consider this the summer’s first barbecue the way Michelle Obama is the first lady. Toro Bravo’s John Gorham will be out there making goat, the eponymous Greg Higgins will be smoking longaniza and buttifarra sausage, and the Bent Brick’s Scott Dolich will be barbecuing oysters. Veggies will get their due with barbecued tempeh sliders from Stacey Givens of the Side Yard, and there will be barbacoa sopitos, pork-belly links, lots of local brews and no fewer than seven makers of pie. The event benefits the Ecotrust. Ecotrust Building, 721 NW 9th Ave., ecotrust. org. 5:30 pm. $50-$65.

World Cup Beer Garden

In case you’ve been completely asleep at the switch, with your earmuffs and blinders on, the World Cup starts today. And there will be a whole ding-dang World Cup Beer Garden popping up in the parking lot of the now-closed Gypsy bar, which might be the best thing to happen in that parking lot for like 10 years. See our World Cup cover package (page 15) for more details. World Cup Beer Garden, 625 NW 21st Ave., 202-744-1496, facebook. com/worldcupbeergarden. 8:30 am-9 pm daily.

FRIDAY, JUNE 13 Artigiano Friday the 13th Jazz

*come try

Show your Soccer Support and our new Panini receive $1.00 off any coffee Sandwiches beverage.

*Receive a $1 off when you purchase any of our coffee beverages Offer expires June 15, 2014. Limit 1 coupon per guest. May not be sold or auctioned or otherwise transferred or reproduced. May not be used with any other offers. Coupons savings are in US dollars (value includes applicable taxes). No cash value. Void where prohibited or restricted. Cash value is 0.0001 cent.

Italian cart Artigiano, in its ever-vertiginous ascent to restaurant status even as it remains a food cart, will hold a Friday the 13th party with acoustic jazz bass and guitar from Zac Allen and Jon Letts. The cart also has beer and wine these days, complete with happy hour from 5 to 6 pm, so really the only thing it’s missing is a roof instead of an awning. Artigiano, 3302 SE Division St., 781-3040. 6-9 pm.

Rye Beer Fest

To celebrate the great rye beer revival (they could have added

Willamette Week JUNE 11, 2014 wweek.com

rye whiskey here, seriously), Taplister will take over EastBurn with a solid 22 rye beers, including a black rye kolsch from Stone Brewing, rye saisons from Agrarian Ales and Humble Brewing, a brett rye grisette from Breakside, a dry rye pale from Oakshire, and a German-style rye from (of course) Occidental. Partial proceeds will be donated to the Children’s Cancer Association. EastBurn, 1800 E Burnside St., 236-2876. 4 pm-2 am.

Art and Beer: The Drunken Cobbler

This is sort of a chicken-and-egg thing. The Portland Art Museum invited five local breweries to come by and brew a beer inspired by art, in this case the 18th-century piece The Drunken Cobbler by Jean-Baptiste Greuze. Except this painting was obviously also inspired by beer. It’s a vicious cycle, you see—enough to get you feeling drunk. It is, in all cases, a prime opportunity to drink beer at the art museum, including an apricot brett ale from Breakside, a French Biere de Garde from Widmer (see below) and an “unbalanced” bluecollar grisette from Laurelwood. Portland Art Museum, 1219 SW Park Ave., 226-0973. 6 pm. $10 museum members. $12 nonmembers.

SATURDAY, JUNE 14 Taste of Parkrose

Parkrose is an interesting proposition—a strip of bars and car-detail shops, and then suddenly food heaven for a few savory blocks. Well, the East Portland neighborhood is bringing that food out to the streets, from Romanian-German sausages to German baked goods to Chinese, Thai, Greek and Mexican fare. Tastes are free. Plus, Latin horns from El Raffa de Alaska & the Deadliest Catch. Northeast Sandy Boulevard and 106th Avenue. 10 am-6 pm.

TUESDAY, JUNE 17 El Gaucho Cigar and Whiskey Affair

What else do you do at the oldguard steakhouse, if not gnaw expensive cigars and mull old Scotch? In this case, the cigars are Nicaraguan Regius Robustos, and the Scotches are a trio of 18-yearolds from Oban, Glenmorangie and Johnnie Walker. Snacks from prosciutto-wrapped dates to chocolate ganache are meant to pair with the whiskey, and not the other way around. El Gaucho, 319 SW Broadway, 227-8794, elgaucho.com. 6 pm. $75.

DRANK

IRELAND STYLE PREMIUM LIGHT ALE (HENRY WEINHARD’S, 1984)

In 1984, a time capsule was buried in Pioneer Courthouse Square. Inside, with a pair of Nikes, a boom box and a “Frankie Says Relax” T-shirt, went two bottles of Henry Weinhard’s ales. Henry’s was, after all, Portland’s premier local beer in the same year BridgePort, Widmer and McMenamins all opened. As long-cellared beers go, a 4 percent ABV Light Irish Ale in a green bottle wasn’t promising. But, after signing a waiver agreeing not to sue the city or the Oregon Historical Society, I was allowed to sample it. The metal cap split on the side as it was opened, and the carbonation was long gone, but the beer kept a clear, uncloudy golden hue. It smelled of sweet, dirty earth—like lowgravity bum wine stirred with a garden trowel. Though not a red ale, it had the same musty cardboard sweetness you’d expect from a half-empty Killian’s discovered behind the shed a month after your last party. They’re reburying the capsule later this year; having survived this round, I vote for including a wax-dipped bottle of Deschutes Abyss. MARTIN CIZMAR.

THE DRUNKEN COBBLER (WIDMER BROTHERS) The Drunken Cobbler, an oil painting completed by French artist Jean-Baptiste Greuze just prior to the George Washington administration and now hanging in the Portland Art Museum, doesn’t make me thirsty. The canvas depicts a buffoonish middle-aged man, bleary-eyed, arms awkwardly spread for embrace, as his wife and two small children reach out to him with empty palms. Presumably, he drank up their grocery money. Yet, I’m inclined to give the painting a second look after previewing a Widmer Biere de Garde by the same name brewed for a June 13 Art & Beer event at the museum ($12 for samples of beers from Widmer, Breakside, Ecliptic, Humble and Laurelwood; portlandartmuseum.org). It’s a light reddish brown color, dry but bready, with a soft woodiness thanks to being fermented and aged on French oak. It’s subtle in a way the painting is not, and not so strong you’ll end up making your kids beg for bread or the dog cower in the corner. Recommended. MARTIN CIZMAR.

FOOD & DRINK A N N A J AY E G O E L L N E R

REVIEW

jusT Add vodkA: The classic siberian pelmeni (left) and herring under a fur coat.

RUSSIA WITH LOVE

With vodka handled, the simplest ordering option is to get a $25-per-person machine-gun spread of eight or nine zakuski. But consider saving room and budget for entrees. Choose, for example, the vinagret ($6), a delightfully sweet-savory pickled-beet salad augmented with potato and sauerkraut. Culturally if not culinarily interesting is a highfalutin version of salo BY M AT T H E W KO R F H AGE mkorfhage@wweek.com ($8) garnished with pickle and honey, essentially a charcuterie plate for fatback—the fat in a pig’s Russia is for writers, a place of tawdry sentimen- hump—a backwoods delicacy often sliced off with talism and deep irony. This flavors even the food. a knife while on a frozen lake. Fruits of the sea are a high point. Each meal So it is no surprise that the new, Russian-inspired Kachka has a high-art reverence for nostalgia and should include the herring under a fur coat kitsch. But in true Russian form, Kachka’s love is ($8), a stratified butte of a salad topped with the reserved for mother and country. pretty pink of beets over layers of vegetables On one wall hang propaleading down to a base of herring. It’s Russian coffee-table ganda flags from the homeorder this: Herring under a fur coat, land, while the opposite mackerel and sorrel soup, Siberian fare rendered jaw-gapingly tasty—your aunt’s ambrosia wall displays clapboarded pelmeni, stroganoff. Caviar if it’s romance. windows straight out of fairy salad as actual ambrosia. Best deal: Russian Standard vodka tales. The bill comes in a tin (100 grams, $12). The fish boards were up for Russian cigarettes favored I’ll pass: Beet-cured chinook. and down. A sweet beet cure, for example, overwhelmed by the father of one of the a cut of chinook. But a owners. Clichés are joyfully quoted, then offered an equally cheerful goose. house-smoked butterfish was transcendent It’s some of the best fun you can have in a Port- on the tongue, and a seasonal sorrel soup can land restaurant, equal parts jolting novelty and be ordered with mackerel that likewise stuns cockle-warming familiarity. the senses ($8). Caviar is served Russian-style, The modern Russian dumpling is frozen-bagged with butter on bread, which brings salt and fat bachelor-pad fare, the ramen of Yakutsk. But at together in riotous concert. A trout caviar ($18) Kachka, soft pelmeni and vareniki dumplings are popped like wet flares in the mouth, on lovely elevated from minimart trash to menu showpiece. mini-blini and a light challah. The sheets of dough are made from scratch, just as But don’t bypass the entrees, in particular a chef Bonnie Morales’ grandma used to do, fussily heart-rendingly tender, tangy golubtsi (porktied around farmer’s cheese, sour cherry or onion stuffed cabbage roll, $17), and a beef-tongue stroand meat. Add a “fancy broth” for $2 (made with ganoff with king oyster mushrooms ($17) served gelatin, beef shank and tongue jus), and the beef- in a cognac sour-cream sauce. Both savory ingrepork-veal Siberian pelmeni ($13) are like meatballs dients—tongue and mushroom—are difficult to wrapped in clouds, comfort that melts into fond prepare properly without becoming tough, but memory like a steamy flashback in Doctor Zhivago. both attained a richness of flavor. The traditional Russian spread of drinking Our waiter, prone perhaps to the Russian appetizers—zakuski—make up most of the menu, literary character himself, proclaimed that when with an entreaty to eat them with “vodka, or maybe he first tried the stroganoff, it was as if he’d been vodka.” More than 40 vodkas are served by the “injected with a disease, and the only cure was gram or in flights from standard to “most super eating it as fast as I could—possibly with both premium.” Infusions are available, from horserad- hands.” And this is the key to Kachka: Even someish vodka to a wonderful beet Fernet Branca. Or thing as down-home as stroganoff might inspire a get 100 grams (about 3.5 ounces) of lovely Russian Russian crime novel. Standard for a mere $12. Also $12 is a 1.5-liter plastic bottle of Zhiguljovskoje, the 40-ounce bum beer EAT: Kachka, 720 SE Grand Ave., 235-0059, kachkapdx.com. 4 pm-midnight daily. of Russia. Budim, my friend.

KACHKA BRINGS SERIOUS COMFORT FARE WITH A WINK AND A SHOT.

Willamette Week JUNE 11, 2014 wweek.com

FOOD & DRINK

ADD AN EVENT

A n n A J Ay E G o E l l n E R

REVIEW

WWEEK.COM IT’S EASY, FAST, AND jusT Add vodkA: The classic siberian pelmeni (left) and herring under a fur coat.

RUSSIA WITH LOVE

With vodka handled, the simplest ordering option is to get a $25-per-person machine-gun spread of eight or nine zakuski. But consider saving room and budget for entrees. Choose, for example, the vinagret ($6), a delightfully sweet-savory pickled-beet salad augmented with potato and sauerkraut. Culturally if not culinarily interesting is a highfalutin version of salo BY M AT T H E W KO R F H AGE mkorfhage@wweek.com ($8) garnished with pickle and honey, essentially a charcuterie plate for fatback—the fat in a pig’s Russia is for writers, a place of tawdry sentimen- hump—a backwoods delicacy often sliced off with talism and deep irony. This flavors even the food. a knife while on a frozen lake. Fruits of the sea are a high point. Each meal So it is no surprise that the new, Russian-inspired Kachka has a high-art reverence for nostalgia and should include the herring under a fur coat kitsch. But in true Russian form, Kachka’s love is ($8), a stratified butte of a salad topped with the reserved for mother and country. pretty pink of beets over layers of vegetables On one wall hang propaleading down to a base of herring. It’s Russian coffee-table ganda flags from the homeorder this: Herring under a fur coat, land, while the opposite mackerel and sorrel soup, Siberian fare rendered jaw-gapingly tasty—your aunt’s ambrosia wall displays clapboarded pelmeni, stroganoff. Caviar if it’s romance. windows straight out of fairy salad as actual ambrosia. Best deal: Russian Standard vodka tales. The bill comes in a tin (100 grams, $12). The fish boards were up for Russian cigarettes favored I’ll pass: Beet-cured chinook. and down. A sweet beet cure, for example, overwhelmed by the father of one of the a cut of chinook. But a owners. Clichés are joyfully quoted, then offered an equally cheerful goose. house-smoked butterfish was transcendent It’s some of the best fun you can have in a Port- on the tongue, and a seasonal sorrel soup can land restaurant, equal parts jolting novelty and be ordered with mackerel that likewise stuns cockle-warming familiarity. the senses ($8). Caviar is served Russian-style, The modern Russian dumpling is frozen-bagged with butter on bread, which brings salt and fat bachelor-pad fare, the ramen of Yakutsk. But at together in riotous concert. A trout caviar ($18) Kachka, soft pelmeni and vareniki dumplings are popped like wet flares in the mouth, on lovely elevated from minimart trash to menu showpiece. mini-blini and a light challah. The sheets of dough are made from scratch, just as But don’t bypass the entrees, in particular a chef Bonnie Morales’ grandma used to do, fussily heart-rendingly tender, tangy golubtsi (porktied around farmer’s cheese, sour cherry or onion stuffed cabbage roll, $17), and a beef-tongue and meat. Add a “fancy broth” for $2 (made with stroganoff with king oyster mushrooms ($17) gelatin, beef shank and tongue jus), and the beef- served in a cognac sour-cream sauce. Both savory pork-veal Siberian pelmeni ($13) are like meatballs ingredients—tongue and mushroom—can be wrapped in clouds, comfort that melts into fond tough if not prepared properly, but both were memory like a steamy flashback in Doctor Zhivago. tender and attained a richness of flavor. The traditional Russian spread of drinking Our waiter, prone perhaps to the Russian appetizers—zakuski—make up most of the menu, literary character himself, proclaimed that when with an entreaty to eat them with “vodka, or maybe he first tried the stroganoff, it was as if he’d been vodka.” More than 40 vodkas are served by the “injected with a disease, and the only cure was gram or in flights from standard to “most super eating it as fast as I could—possibly with both premium.” Infusions are available, from horserad- hands.” And this is the key to Kachka: Even someish vodka to a wonderful beet Fernet Branca. Or thing as down-home as stroganoff might inspire a get 100 grams (about 3.5 ounces) of lovely Russian Russian crime novel. Standard for a mere $12. Also $12 is a 1.5-liter plastic bottle of Zhiguljovskoje, the 40-ounce bum beer EAT: Kachka, 720 SE Grand Ave., 235-0059, kachkapdx.com. 4 pm-midnight daily. of Russia. Budim, my friend.

FREE!

KACHKA BRINGS SERIOUS COMFORT FARE WITH A WINK AND A SHOT.

1. Go to wweek.com/calendar 2. Click on Add An Event 3. Add text, images, video and links

THAT’S IT! Your listing will appear on wweek.com and other sites within the SpinGo network, and also via WW’s HEADOUT entertainment app!

Willamette Week JUNE 11, 2014 wweek.com

MUSIC

june 11–17 PROFILE

= WW Pick. Highly recommended.

COURTESY OF HIGH ROAD TOURING

Prices listed are sometimes for advance ticket sales. At-the-door increases and socalled convenience charges may apply. Event lineups are subject to change after WW’s press deadlines. Editor: MATTHEW SINGER. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, go to wweek.com/ submitevents and follow submission directions. All shows should be submitted two weeks or more in advance of event. Press kits, CDs and especially vinyl can be sent to Music Desk, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Please include show or release date information with all physical mailings. Email: msinger@wweek.com. Fax: 243-1115.

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 11 Doug Gillard, Charts, Miracle Falls

[CLEVELAND ROCKS, YEAH] For most die-hard indie-rock fans, New York-viaOhio musician Doug Gillard is mostly known as a sideman, putting in stints with Guided by Voices (from 1997’s Mag Earwhig! to the band’s initial swan song in 2004), Nada Surf and the Oranges Band. But calling Gillard a foil to Robert Pollard and co. would be a disservice to his own songwriting talents. After a few quiet years, Gillard returned in April with Parade On, a startlingly consistent and tuneful power-pop record that easily surpasses anything GBV has released since he left the band. Gillard has always been an underrated guitar player, but it’s the songs that really shine bright here. From the garage-rock stomp of “No Perspective” to the shining sing-song bounce of opener “Ready for Death,” Gillard has created a record that can’t be ignored. MICHAEL MANNHEIMER. Bunk Bar, 1028 SE Water Ave., 3282865. 9:30 pm. $8 advance, $10 day of show. 21+.

Jamie Cullum

[JAZZY POP] Jamie Cullum’s latest full-length album, 2013’s Momentum, shows the jazz pianist planting himself deeper in pop territory. Now layered over Cullum’s signature piano are synth, handclaps, whistling and strings. Album opener “The Same Things” blurs light jazz with a bouncy beat, sprinkling in call-and-response vocals and an organ solo. “When I Get Famous” is straight out of a 1930s nightclub, all big horns, rolling trumpet and a sultry bass groove. It’s different from the intricate piano ballads and jazz collaborations of his past albums, but it’s done with enough confidence to make the transition easy. KAITIE TODD. Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside St., 225-0047. 8 pm. $30. All ages.

Nashville Pussy, Catl, the Yawpers

[TRASH ROCK] The most remarkable thing Atlanta biker-rock band Nashville Pussy ever did was design the cover of its first album, 1998’s Let Them Eat Pussy. It’s just two dude’s faces jammed into women’s laps. The music was, and remains, what one would expect from a band like this: revved-up rock with punky flourishes. Contrasted with Pussy’s latest, Up the Dosage, it’s clear the troupe’s lost a step after 16 years. It’s still all middle fingers and partying in restroom stalls, but the tempos are a bit slower, and singer Blaine Cartwright sounds like the road’s gotten the best of him. DAVE CANTOR. Dante’s, 350 W Burnside St., 226-6630. 9 pm. $14. 21+.

Tomorrows Tulips, Guantanamo Baywatch

[LACKADAISICAL GARAGE] Blondhaired Burger Records two-piece Tomorrows Tulips exists in a blissedout dream. Sophomore album Experimental Jelly swims around in bright, echoing guitar. Like the Growlers, the band does ’60s throwback psychedelia in a way that’s both smart and stoned. Local surf-rock heroes from our dampened streets, Guantanamo Baywatch, open. LYLA ROWEN. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., 231-9663. 9 pm. $10 advance, $12 day of show. 21+.

Unearth (performing The Oncoming Storm), Texas in July, Cruel Hand, Armed for the Apocalypse, Proven, Kingdom Under Fire

[METALCORE NOSTALGIA] I picked up Unearth’s 2004 sophomore effort, The Oncoming Storm, at the tender age of 17. I was very into the emerging metal-

core scene at the time, with bands like Killswitch Engage and Shadows Fall soundtracking many late nights playing Diablo 2 in my dad’s basement. Not only did The Oncoming Storm have a kickass fire tornado on its cover, it also had some of the tastiest riffs 17-yearold me had ever heard. The album is a blast of fist-pumping, air-guitar-shredding, slightly angst-ridden quasi-metal. Seventeen-year-old me would be absolutely stoked to see this thing live in its entirety at the Hawthorne—and I think 27-year-old me will have a blast as well. SAM CUSUMANO. Hawthorne Theatre, 1507 SE 39th Ave., 233-7100. 6:30 pm. $11 advance, $13 day of show. All ages.

The Mountain Goats, Loamlands

[DUAL GOATS] It’s been rather quiet on the Mountain Goats front since the band released its 14th studio album, Transcendental Youth, back in 2011. A chamber-pop LP teeming with crippling depression and everyman paranoia, it effortlessly captured frontman John Darnielle’s plainspoken delivery and his gift for writing literary folk, expounding on his detailed narratives with brass and bittersweet guitar that fits snugly anywhere within the band’s back catalog. While the once-prolific frontman has spent his recent days writing a second novel, he’s currently touring alongside bandmate Pete Hughes, rehashing old tunes at all-ages venues throughout the West. Opener Loamlands’ Southern Americana ain’t half-bad, either. BRANDON WIDDER. Wonder Ballroom, 128 NE Russell St., 284-8686. 8 pm. Sold out.

THURSDAY, JUNE 12 Swan Sovereign, Swansea, Dean

[POWER TRIO] Featuring three-fourths of Dirty Martini, Swan Sovereign is guitarist Lara Michell, drummer Stephanie Schneiderman and bassist McKinley (just McKinley) masking sassy lyrics in exuberant girl-group harmonies. Timed to the released of the Portland-based group’s first EP, this show is part of the Crystal Ballroom’s “Get Intimate” series, which transform the beautifully cavernous venue into an almost living room-style show space. Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside St., 2250047. 8 pm. $12. All ages.

Shad, Tope

[NEW-WORLD RAPS] Shad’s raps are dreams—some realized, some still an ethereal thing the Canadian MC just grasps at. The rapper explains all that on 2013’s Flying Colours. But he also tells the story of his parents. Immigrants from Kenya, one worked minimum-wage gigs while the other was a surgeon. And then there’s Shad himself, a guy who’s received more than fleeting acclaim in Canada but seems to be relegated to the conscious underground in the States. It’s fitting, given the content of his lyrics and production that skirts contemporary trends. But like his family’s travails, Shad is struggling to get over. It’s a safe bet he’ll make it eventually. DAVE CANTOR. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., 231-9663. 9 pm. $10 advance, $12 day of show. 21+.

Metronomy, Cloud Cult

[DANCE-FLOOR CHAMELEONS] It’s not easy to pin down the music of Joseph Mount. Since 1999, Mount has been leading English electronic dance-pop quartet Metronomy down a series of nostalgic rivers, stopping off at seemingly every point in British popular (but not Britpop) music history. You want a little bit of disco? Look at Mount’s remix work for

CONT. on page 32

RASTAMAN REVERBERATIONS FOR CANADIAN SONGWRITER DOUG PAISLEY, ALL COUNTRY ROADS LEAD TO KINGSTON. BY A n DR eW ST eIn B eISeR

243-2122

For a native Canadian who’s established himself as a country-blues force, it’s odd to think that Doug Paisley’s roots are actually planted in the sandy foundations of reggae. Growing up in Toronto, which housed a large Caribbean population throughout the ’90s, Paisley, with a rhythm guitar in hand, developed his musical tastes alongside Rastafarians. But, as he claims, reggae and country carry more similarities than one would think. There’s simplicity to both styles of music, Paisley says. Those narrow boundaries require a discipline to play within the established lines. The musicians must support each other. It’s a trait that’s followed Paisley as he’s worked through a résumé of tribute songs, bare-bones bluegrass and, finally, a country romp that takes as many cues from Kingston as it does the Rockies. It helps that Paisley has actually been to Jamaica, too. Traveling to Kingston in 2010 and 2012, he gained firsthand exposure to the almost spiritual approach that defined his earliest musical memories. “People are just playing music and dancing everywhere,” he says. “I think going to a place like Jamaica reminds you that music can have a big place in people’s lives. It’s kind of like their oxygen, in a way.” You can feel that energy in Paisley’s latest album, Strong Feelings. Ditching the solo act that defined his first outings, 2008’s Doug Paisley and 2010’s Constant Companion, Paisley recruited an entire team of musicians for his latest go-around. With a roster boasting Mary Margaret O’Hara, the Cairo Gang’s Emmett Kelly, Leslie Feist and others, Strong Feelings is Paisley’s ode to the restlessness of Jamaica’s music-saturated streets. That’s not to say Paisley’s music is some gimmicky hybrid. He’s still a country musician at his core, with the flannel shirts and semi-groomed, rusty-red mustache to prove it. If reggae is the Jiminy Cricket on his shoulder, then country icons George Jones and Glen Campbell are his Mr. Miyagi, filling his head with the twangs and unpre-

tentious rhythms needed to make it as a folk artist. Paisley considers himself a constant student of music, which isn’t surprising. He first cut his teeth as part of a Stanley Brothers tribute act, paying homage to a popular bluegrass duo from the time of sock hops and first-generation Buicks. But covering the Stanleys was more than just imitation for Paisley. He could feel their buzzing banjo picks. He could connect to their howling swoons. “I think that, once I felt that connection to a song, it became more than just learning a song,” Paisley says. “I wanted to experience that feeling more and more. And that’s why I started writing— for that connection.” Paisley’s lyrics follow no certain script. To him, the words must be in service of the music. He finds that by exploring broad but powerful feelings of love and loss, discovery and nostalgia, he doesn’t feel beholden to any particular subject matter. “I’ve never just taken one thing that happened to me or one idea, and stuck with that for a whole song,” Paisley says. “There’s a lot at play.” And that’s really what Strong Feelings is all about. It’s a culmination of his fiercest memories, emotions and experiences. From “Radio Girl,” which recounts the love affair he had with every new musician he discovered in his childhood record shop, to “Our Love,” featuring a group melody that honors his reggae upbringing with a restricted uniformity. With a guitar and keyboard as his constant companions, he wants to show that country music doesn’t always have to be in direct service to albums of the past. “That’s one of my principles: not trying to sound like any of the stuff I like, and trying to put different things in so it doesn’t sound derived,” he says. This might explain why Paisley credits his latest voyage to Kingston as one of his largest influences. There’s nothing like a little Rasta vigor to pull a country album out of the slow-rolling tumbleweeds. “Jamaica helped me make the album,” he says. “My trip helped me tap into some of that energy. It’s half of why I liked music in the first place.” SEE IT: Doug Paisley plays Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., with Josh Rouse, on Thursday, June 12. 9 pm. $18 advance, $20 day of show. 21+. Willamette Week JUNE 11, 2014 wweek.com

MUSIC

thursday–saturday

TONJETHILESEN

Angeles duo has issued three albums during the past three years— the latest being the fine The Ash & Clay—each of which is indebted to Joey Ryan’s sardonic humor and Kenneth Pattengale’s distinctive fretwork. The close-knit harmonies sweep like those on Simon and Garfunkel’s Parsley, with two acoustic guitars delicately setting scenes of prolonged heartbreak and new beginnings while leaving the revivalist wave of folky foot-stomping behind. Despite the lack of adornment, the songs showcase the innate beauty only two guitars and two voices can provide. BRANDON WIDDER. Aladdin Theater, 3017 SE Milwaukie Ave., 234-9694. 8 pm. Sold out.

Sage Francis, B. Dolan, Sleep Lean on me: Blouse plays Holocene on Friday, June 13. the likes of Klaxons, Lykke Li and Lady Gaga. Soft rock? The English Riviera in 2011 has you covered. Bouncy Kinks-ian rock? Yep, he can do that too—Love Letters, released this spring, sees the band take on a more rockist bent, with requisite nods to glam and psych, but unfortunately he forgot to bring the expert melodies that made “The Look” so enticing along for this ride. Let’s hope tonight’s set is more pop, less dress up. MICHAEL MANNHEIMER. Wonder Ballroom, 128 NE Russell St., 284-8686. 7:30 pm. $18 advance, $20 day of show. All ages.

FRIDAY, JUNE 13 Murs & ¡Mayday! present ¡Mursday!

[MC MAGIC] A perennial product of West Coast hip-hop, Murs has been on the scene since the ’90s. This mainstay MC stays busy, and his latest projects are threefold: 2013’s Yumiko: Curse of the Merch Girl, a dual LP and graphic novel; the White Mandigos, a hip-hop reggae-rock supergroup; and Mursday, a collaboration between Murs and dynamic Miami six-piece Mayday. He’s showcasing the latter here: Mursday’s just recently released its self-titled album, and the whole collective will be on hand to showcase its unique fusion of hip-hop talent. GRACE STAINBACK. Hawthorne Theatre, 1507 SE 39th Ave., 233-7100. 7:30 pm. $15 advance, $18 day of show. All ages.

The Builders and the Butchers, Bash Face, Turbo Perfecto

[GALLOWS FOLK] If you haven’t experienced the Southern Gothic Americana of the Builders and the Butchers in person yet, then you’re doing Portland all wrong. Though its formula is waning a bit on record— fourth album Western Medicine, released last year, felt a tad predictable—the B&Bs are still one of Stumptown’s all-time great live bands, all hollering and foot-stomping and lyrics about dying at the bottom of a lake. Bunk Bar, 1028 SE Water Ave., 328-2865. 9:30 pm. $12. 21+.

Renaissance Coalition, Grape God, Soopah Eype, Load B

[PSYCHEDELIC RAP] Citing Basquiat, Dalí, Kubrick and Pink Floyd as influences, Portland’s Renaissance Coalition sees itself as residing halfway between the streetcorner cipher and the art gallery. With beats sourced from psychedelic rock records and the wiggedout lyricism to match, the crew knows it doesn’t fit in with the city’s prevailing hip-hop culture, but it’s making some of the most interesting music right now of any group in Portland—period. Same goes for the rest of the acts on this bill. MATTHEW SINGER. Hawthorne Theater Lounge, 1507 SE 39th Ave., 233-7100. 8 pm. $3. 21+.

Willamette Week JUNE 11, 2014 wweek.com

Blouse, Valet, Soft Metals

[EMBER POP] Despite trading in its synthesizers for guitars, on latest record, Imperium, Blouse still sounds like an ’80s-adoring pop outfit, albeit one from the tail end of the New Wave era, whose casual dream-pop guitars are occasionally interrupted by light doses of punk. There’s a dull, emberlike glow to Imperium that is easy to get lost in, but the flicker eventually grows monotonous. Blouse shows fits of brilliance within a decidedly overcast mold, but there’s a small fire burning within Imperium that, with a little more invention, could be stoked to life. MARK STOCK. Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison St., 2397639. 7 pm. $7. 21+.

Brainstorm, Social Studies, Hands In

[EXPERIMENTAL POP] Favoring what they call “African highlife and soulful AM radio nostalgia,” Brainstorm, with its West Africanstyle guitar lines and thundering rhythms, drew attention for its similarity to Vampire Weekend when the Portland group released its second full-length album, Heat Waves, in 2012. Its two-track EP She Moves, released last year, finds the group following a similar formula, then taking it up another notch. Maybe it’s the addition of bassist and vocalist Tamara Barnes, who adds a bright airiness to the three-part harmonies, or perhaps it’s the way the atmospheric guitar and subtle synths mix so easily together with the groovy, grounding basslines. Either way, despite its aforementioned familiarity, Brainstorm manages to hold attention all on its own. KAITIE TODD. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 288-3895. 9 pm. $8 advance, $10 day of show. 21+.

Rocky Votolato, Lotte Kestner, Kevin Long

[EMO FOLK] Dude hits paydirt in the pre-Internet emo era with Waxwing. They break up, and Dude soldiers on with an acoustic guitar and a penchant for wispy, pastoral compositions. Seattle’s Rocky Votolato is considered a demigod in certain PacNW circles, but it’s easier to digest the lilting melodies of his decade-old classic Suicide Medicine under the assumption that he’s a less-annoying Chris Carrabba with some impressive family ties. Younger bro and Blood Brothers guitarist Cody will be in tow, but I wouldn’t hold my breath for an unplugged version of “Ambulance vs. Ambulance” to sneak its way onto the setlist. PETE COTTELL. Star Theater, 13 NW 6th Ave. 8 pm. $12. 21+.

SATURDAY, JUNE 14 The Milk Carton Kids, Tom Brosseau [FLAT-PICKING FOLK] As anyone who has ever listened to the Milk Carton Kids can attest, simplicity often prevails. The dapper Los

[TOO-CONSCIOUS HIP-HOP] When you’re a politically active rapper living in America, you certainly never have to dig deep for inspiration. Sage Francis, perhaps the grandfather of socially conscious indie rap, knows this better than most. For the past 15 years Francis has been preaching to the masses about the evils of politics, society and the media. His latest album, Copper Gone, hasn’t deviated from the formula, brimming with anger, fear and internal dialogue. But you can only hear the same lecture so many times. At this point, I’m not sure that I can sit through another class. SAM CUSUMANO. Alhambra Theatre, 4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd. 8:30 pm. $20. All ages.

The 14th Annual Pimps’n’Hoes Ball: Sir Mix-A-Lot, Smoochknob, Grand Royale, Cellar Door

[BOOTY JAMS] While the idea of a “pimps and hoes” party makes us dry-heave, at least this one features Sir Mix-A-Lot—prior to Macklemore, Seattle’s most successful rapper— an artist who deserves to be known for a lot more than just the frat-boy karaoke staple “Baby Got Back.” Dante’s, 350 W Burnside St., 3457892. 9 pm. $20. 21+.

Verified: DJ Hoodboi, Gang$ign$, SPF666 B2B Commune, Photon!, Shk Tht

[JERSEY CLUB IRL] The “Jersey club” genre, defined by thumping, hyperactive hip-hop and R&B remixes, is not misnamed: The Garden State overfloweth with clubs, parties and producers dedicated to the music, an offshoot of the “Baltimore club” sound. But last year, a new force arose, bringing Jersey to the Internet at 320 kbps and shining some uplifting light on the dark club floor. His name is DJ Hoodboi, and while little is known about him as an artist, his remixes—from Future’s “Honest” to Janet Jackson’s “I Get Lonely”—are already lingua franca in the club vocabulary. MITCH LILLIE. Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison St., 239-7639. 9 pm. Free with RSVP, $7 after 11 pm. 21+.

Priests, Spider and the Webs, Love and Caring

[NEW D.C. PUNK] Washington, D.C., is no stranger to incendiary bands with a political agenda, of course. The sound of new-jack punks Priests is clearly indebted to the lineage of underground music in their home city, with scabrous guitars chafing against the elastic growls of singer Katie Alice Greer, a frontwoman from the Kathleen Hanna school of bash-you-in-the-face confrontation. Comparisons to Perfect Pussy, the nu-riot grrrl act of the moment, are inevitable, but with the arrival of Bodies and Control and Money and Power, a 17-minute neutron blast of guttural anger and stabbing satire, Priests are poised to become a critical talking point on their own accord. MATTHEW SINGER. Laughing Horse Books, 12 NE 10th Ave., 236-2893. 8:30 pm. $5-$10. All ages.

SATURDAY–SUNDAY

Blow Pony: Ssion, Double Duchess, Glitterbang

[ART-POP] Ssion (pronounced “shun”) is the creation of Cody Critcheloe, a Kansas City-born performance artist who, in between contributing artwork for projects by Yeah Yeah Yeahs and Liars, has been churning out genreagnostic albums since the late ‘90s. Bent, the group’s latest, is an androgynous, candy-colored dance album with various reference points—Prince, Deee-Lite— mingling together in a way that’s instantly accessible and, at its best moments, downright infectious. Rotture, 315 SE 3rd Ave., 234-5683. 9 pm. $8 before 10 pm, $10 after. 21+.

Jolie Holland, Jess Williamson

[ALT-COUNTRY] Once a principal member of the Be Good Tanyas, Jolie Holland has carved out a nice, bluesy folk groove for herself as a solo artist. The Texas songsmith just released Wine Dark Sea, a twangy, sometimes haunting record that might squeeze into the category of experimental country. Holland’s ashen vocals resemble that of a soul singer twice her age, the perfect company for lap steel and slide guitars. It’s an old-school approach to Americana that gives Holland an analog sound even live. Austin’s master of folky sparseness, Jess Williamson, opens. MARK STOCK. Star Theater, 13 NW 6th Ave. 9 pm. $15. 21+.

SUNDAY, JUNE 15 Aoife O’Donovan

ADRIAN ADEL

[BARELY BLUEGRASS] Fossils, the debut full-length from Aoife O’Donovan, goes down easy. While

MUSIC

O’Donovan cut her teeth with the nimble-ﬁngered newgrass unit Crooked Still, her own album sticks to a mellower strain of folk rock. Yes, the banjos are still twanging, but they’re stirred in with about four other various string instruments, all bathed in reverb and kissed with the occasional steel guitar. O’Donovan hardly needs the glossy production: Her breezy, delicate alto—which has pulled background duties on a host of albums—is a surprisingly powerful force. TREE PALMEDO. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., 2319663. 8 pm. $12 advance, $14 day of show. 21+.

DATES HERE

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 11

DIVTECH KOOL SKULL MUZZY MULATTO THUNDER VS HARDON COLLIDER DJ FUKEMUP

$5.00 at the door.

THURSDAY, JUNE 12 7pm. All Ages

RATS IN THE WALL DIRTY KID DISCOUNT JUICY KARKASS THE WHISKEY DICKERS

Chad VanGaalen, Cousins

[SCI-FI COUNTRY] Chad VanGaalen’s Shrink Dust, like the rest of his discography, plays like an anthology of eerie fairy tales. With ghostly vocals and lyrics that address death, fear and mythology, the album proves to be another hauntingly beautiful VanGaalen fable. But with tracks running the gamut from the fuzzy and psychedelic to steel pedal-laden cowboy jams, it is also less acoustic than previous records. The album maintains the mythic weirdness he’s renowned for, while sonically exploring multiple genres. To get the full “fairy tale” experience, watch his self-animated music videos. ASHLEY JOCZ. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 288-3895. 9 pm. $12. 21+.

$8.00 advance tix from Ticketfly. $10.00 at the door.

FRIDAY, JUNE 13 9pm. 21 & Over MOS GENERATOR HOLY GROVE THE THORNES DISENCHANTER

$8.00 at the door.

SATURDAY, JUNE 14 8pm. 21 & Over nuggets night!!

Yann Tiersen, NO

[NOT MOVIE MUSIC] Yann Tiersen would like you to know that he is not a ﬁlm composer. Yes, the music-box ditties on the Amélie soundtrack are what made the Frenchman famous, and his often instrumental solo work can be

CONT. on page 34

INTRODUCING... HAUNTED SPACESHIP

BY M ATTH EW S IN GER

SEE IT: Haunted Spaceship plays Ash Street Saloon, 225 SW Ash St., with Purr Gato and Analog Mistress, on Friday, June 13. 9:30 pm. $6. 21+.

$8.00 at the door. Falafel House: 3 to Late–Night All Ages Shows: Every Sunday 8–11pm Free Pinball Feeding Frenzy: Saturday @ 3pm

WITHIN SPITTING DISTANCE OF THE PEARL

1033 NW 16TH AVE. (971) 229-1455 OPEN: 3–2:30AM EVERY DAY

HAPPY HOUR: MON–FRI NOON–7PM PoP-A-Shot • PinbAll • Skee-bAll Air hockey • Free Wi-Fi

WWEEK.COM MOBILE SITE

Who: Toni Hill (vocals), Colin Luba (producer). Sounds like: A neo-soul space opera. For fans of: Little Dragon, Kid Cudi, Natasha Kmeto, Deltron 3030. Why you care: Toni Hill’s voice is a versatile instrument. In the decade-plus she’s been singing in Portland, her plush alto has pillowed hip-hop records, soul records, jazz records—even a commercial for a Conair hair-coloring device. But until Colin Luba sent her beats for his new project, she’d never sang over anything that could be considered “electronic music.” A longtime DJ and producer around town, Luba had been a fan of Hill’s from her days performing with Seattle rap crew Oldominion and the duo Siren’s Echo. He’d begun dabbling in spacier production and wanted “an amazing voice” to go over it. After getting over her initial hesitation, Hill got a babysitter for her three kids and decamped to Luba’s studio in Mount Angel, Ore. “For me, the reason why I took it is it forced me out of my comfort zone,” she says. Haunted Spaceships’ introductory EP, Running 2 the Future, came together just about on the fly. Hill’s breathy, ethereal coo lends a floating quality to Luba’s cosmic blips and bloops, neon synths and hip-hop drums, creating a kind of weightless, galaxial R&B. With a full album forthcoming, what started as a one-off experiment has congealed into a real group. With a diverse résumé to her name, Hill is prepared to make the push. “There’s a lot of things, in terms of a leap of faith or sacrifice, that I don’t have to worry about, because I’ve done all that crap,” Hill says. “So it’s like, ‘Let’s just go for it.’ The fear, or the unknown parts, are not discouraging to me anymore.”

HONUS HUFFHINES METROPOLITAN FARMS PARADISE THE PYNNACLES THE VERNER PANTONS BLUE SKIES FOR BLACK HEARTS MONICA NELSON AND THE HIGHGATES THE COOL WHIPS BEYOND VERONICA AU DUNES THE ZAGS THE FOUR TEENS THE HAUER THINGS RED SHADOWS TEN MILLION LIGHTS DJ WEB OF SOUND DJ TINA BOOM-BOOM

• BREAKING NEWS • GEO-LOCATING BAR AND RESTAURANT REVIEWS • CITY GUIDES

Willamette Willamette Week WeekJUNE JUNE 11, 11, 20142014wweek.com wweek.com

Sidewalk Sale!

OVER 10,000

CDS, VINYL, DVDS, BOOKS AND OTHER ITEMS AT UP TO

90% OFF!

3 Days Only FRIDAY SATURDAY SUNDAY June 13th thru 15th 10am to 6pm Friday & Saturday 11am to 6pm Sunday

IN-STORES D O N L A N G JUNE 13TH @ 6 PM Join us for an instore performance Friday June 13th at 6 PM with Don Lang, who will be sharing from his newest album “Stump Blues”. His newest release of “Stump Blues”, weaving poetic words from the heart, sometimes sorrowful, always an expressive tale. Recorded all over Portland in busking fashion this is the new industrial blues.

THE GREYHOUNDS JUNE 17TH @ 7 PM Playing a fusion of musical styles, Greyhounds marinades the audience with groove sauce, sautés them with soul, and then deep fries them in funk.

LEE BAINS III & GLORY FIRE JUNE 18TH @ 6 PM

SUNDAY–TUESDAY/CLASSICAL, ETC.

described as “cinematic.” But spin his latest album, Inﬁnity, at your next party, and you’ll soon realize this ain’t background music. Tiersen’s compositions are cold, glistening soundscapes, erupting without warning into densely orchestrated power pop with melodies seemingly plucked from a dusty tome of long-lost European folk tunes. If this were a ﬁlm score, I’d watch the movie with my eyes closed. TREE PALMEDO. Wonder Ballroom, 128 NE Russell St., 284-8686. 7:30 pm. $18 advance, $12 day of show. All ages.

MONDAY, JUNE 16 Laura Gibson

[DINNER AND A SHOW] The entrancing singer-songwriter headlines the second installment in a series of ultra-intimate showcases at Radar restaurant, booked by Mississippi Studios’ owner Jim Brunberg. Radar, 3951 N Mississippi Ave., 841-6948. 8 pm. $10. 21+.

Melissa Aldana & Crash Trio

[BATTLE JAZZ] Too many modern jazz shows are crowded with intricate arrangements and half-baked Beatles covers. The solution, or part of it: Melissa Aldana’s Crash Trio, a band that’s not afraid to just dig in and play. Aldana is a Chileanborn saxophonist with a fat, ﬂuﬀy tone and blistering technique that grabbed her the top prize at the 2013 Thelonious Monk Competition. She’s joined by fellow Chilean Pablo Menares on bass and Cuban Francisco Mela on drums, but even with its international pedigree, the band keeps hard-driving swing on

PROFILE

Pelican, Tombs, Dust Moth

[POST METAL] Pelican showed promise when it hit the post-metal scene in the mid-2000s, but was quickly outclassed by groups like Isis and Russian Circles as everyone figured out that “loud” didn’t always mean “interesting.” But a midcareer lull has been salvaged on 2013’s Forever Becoming, a battering ram of prog metal that’s short on buildup and long on riffage. Folks that jumped on board when Pelican appeared as metal’s answer to Mogwai will find it divisive, but it’s still worth a spin. PETE COTTELL. Branx, 320 SE 2nd Ave., 234-5683. 7 pm. $15. All ages.

CLASSICAL, JAZZ & WORLD Astoria Music Festival Preview

[CLASSICAL] Oregon’s northernmost beach town is home to a two-week celebration of all things fine-art, from symphony to dance, film to chamber music. Classical buffs stuck in town should take in the preview show, featuring Oregon Symphony Concertmaster Sarah Kwak, pianist Cary Lewis and lauded cellist Sergey Antonov. The trio will be tackling some tricky material, including Brahms’ Piano Trio No.1 in B major and Grieg’s tension-riddled Violin Sonata in C minor. Johannes Brahms’ work, a multimovement piece that started in the major key only to end in a tonic minor, was particularly groundbreaking in 1854, the year it was written. Now go get cultured. MARK STOCK. The Old Church, 1422 SW 11th Ave., 2222031. 7:30 pm Friday, June 13. $15 advance, $20 day of show. All ages.

Third Angle New Music

[PORCH MUSIC] The veteran contemporary chamber ensemble Third Angle continues to find inventive ways to bring new music out of the traditional concert hall settings, and you can’t find a prettier place than the historic and verdant Irvington neighborhood. Last summer’s sunny, ambling musical tour with porch-side performances made such an enjoyably intimate combination of music and alfresco ambiance that the group is repeating it as a fundraiser, with a new program, featuring music by this year’s Pulitzer Prize for Music winner, Alaska’s John Luther Adams, rising young Portland composer Justin Ralls, New York composer Jacob Cooper and others, performed at five homes by flutist Sarah Tiedeman, clarinetist Lou DeMartino, artistic director and violinist Ron Blessinger and percussionist Brian Gardiner. BRETT CAMPBELL. 4 pm Saturday, June 14. Irvington neighborhood, beginning at 3215 NE 16th Ave. $35.

[MYTHIC ACOUSTIC FUSION] The 64-year-old Portland ﬁnger-style

Willamette Week JUNE 11, 2014 wweek.com

232-6333. 8 pm Sunday, June 15. Free. 21+.

TUESDAY, JUNE 17

Galen Fous 34

guitarist Galen Fous has long followed the John Fahey folk-blues tradition, with touches of jazz and other traditional influences underpinning his gruff vocals, which have wandered near late-career Van Morrison-style spiritual concerns. Now, along with Fous’ regular upright bassist Ryan Babichuk, his new album, Sacred Ground, adds another veteran Portland musician, Mitch Iimori, whose oboe, English horn, soprano sax, flute and clarinet contributions to Fous’ instrumentals echo Paul McCandless’ reeds in the great jazz fusion band Oregon, giving Fous a whole new potential audience for his late-career renaissance. BRETT CAMPBELL. Sapphire Hotel, 5008 SE Hawthorne Blvd.,

CO U RT E SY O F H E L P YO U R S E L F R E CO R DS

THE MUSIC MILLENNIUM

MUSIC

Dude York’s (from left) Claire England, Peter Richards and Andrew Hall.

DUDE YORK SUNDAY, JUNE 15 When a band writes a song called “The Assassination of Kurt Cobain by the Coward Dude York,” it probably doesn’t want you to take it too seriously. It’s a clever, snide, tongue-incheek title that pretty much describes the fun-loving sound of the group that wrote it. Dude York started as a cure for boredom in Walla Walla, Wash., a quiet town in the eastern part of the state, known for wine and sweet onions and little else. The band didn’t yet have a name when Whitman College students Peter Richards and Andrew Hall would get together to kill some time, borrowing equipment from friends and neighbors. “You kinda have to throw your own party in Walla Walla,” Hall says. The Idaho native grew up on the piano bench but switched to the trap kit in college. “I just close my eyes and hope for the best,” he says of his drumming. Though far from Neil Peart territory, Hall manages just fine as the pacesetter for the band’s punk-leaning, self-described “teen pop.” Now a Seattle trio, Dude York has fine-tuned its approach. The addition of Claire England, formerly of Brite Futures, has cleaned up some of the scruff. Her bouncy basslines and soft vocal harmonies take some of the sting out of Richards’ crackly voice and Hall’s frenetic drumming. While still flippant rockers, Dude York has grown out of the dorm and into the studio. The band’s newest album, Dehumanize, was produced by Neighbors frontman José Díaz and took two years to finish—odd, given the group’s catalog of punchy tracks, which rarely exceed three minutes. Songs like “Iris” and “Hesitate” are denim-clad pop numbers, clean with a slight edge. Others, like “Heartland,” offer hints of soul—blistering and ’90s-rock-infused, but not without some crooning and musical sweet-talking. Mainly, though, Dude York just wants to have fun and sing songs about serial killers, girls and swimming after taking molly. The lack of self-seriousness sometimes backfires, though. “We’ve only played Portland twice,” Hall says. “The first time was at Rotture, and one of our amps blew up, and everybody just stood around and didn’t do anything about it. The second time we got a $650 ticket, and I lost my favorite water bottle.” MARK STOCK. It’s all fun and games and punky guitar pop—until someone’s amp explodes.

SEE IT: Dude York plays Rontoms, 600 E Burnside St., with the Lower 48 and Fur Coats, on Sunday, June 15. 8 pm. Free. 21+.

CLASSICAL, ETC. heavy rotation. This is jazz at its most alive—and its most combustible. TREE PALMEDO. Jimmy Mak’s, 221 NW 10th Ave., 295-6542. 7:30 pm Tuesday, June 17. $20. Under 21 permitted until 9:30 pm.

Choro Das 3, the Brazillionaires

[BRAZILIAN] It’s easy to hear why the family from São Paulo that constitutes Choro Das 3 has played for millions of Brazilians at major public events. The three sisters and their father play a variety of instruments (ﬂute, piccolo, sevenstring guitar, mandolin, banjo, clarinet, piano, pandeiro tambourine) with such engaging élan that their revival of choro—the centuryold Brazilian mélange of African

MUSIC

rhythms, European harmonies, and South American styles that’s the Brazilian analog of North American jazz—never sounds musty or academic. They make a good match for Portland’s Brazillionaires, whose jazzy style incorporates choro as well as samba, bossa nova and more. BRETT CAMPBELL. The Old Church, 1422 SW 11th Ave., 2222031. 7 pm Tuesday, June 17. $12 advance, $15 day of show. All ages.

For more Music listings, visit

DATES HERE

AUGUST 16 & 17 2014

AUGUST 16 & 17 2014 | WATERFRONT PARK

ALBUM REVIEWS

ARCTIC FLOWERS WEAVER (DERANGED) [DARK PUNK] Punks have never been as immune to pandemics as they’d like to think. So it’s not surprising that the past few years of black-metal shoegazing and other such trends have seen the reanimated corpuses of goth and death rock bleeding into the punk scene. Arctic Flowers, a beacon in this new gloom since 2009, has so far avoided succumbing to the gray sameness of its cohorts with a wily aesthetic as indebted to classic anarcho-punk agitations as it is to 45 Grave-robbing. Although the Portland quartet’s dour new LP is short on the sort of chant-along stretches that made 2011’s Reveries such a cherishable anomaly, Weaver is by no means a rote pledge of allegiance to de rigueur dark lords. Singer Alex Caroccio summons familiar but discomfiting goth visions, her clean, wintry croon bringing “sullen chests” and “strange loops locked” and “hollow skin” to brittle life. While the band is willing to give her a bed of retro flange to fall back on, the funereal vibe is constantly teased and subverted by a riotous devotion to punk’s rousing past. It reveals a subtly unnerving truth more vital and lasting than anything on Reveries: The black rest that eventually claims us all may not be as peaceful as previously believed. CHRIS STAMM.

phantogram

SEE IT: Arctic Flowers plays the Know, 2026 NE Alberta St., with Criminal Code and Bellicose Minds, on Saturday, June 14. 8:30 pm. Call venue for ticket information. 21+.

ANNA TIVEL BEFORE MACHINES (FLUFF AND GRAVY) [SINGER-SONGWRITER] Anna Tivel, who previously performed and recorded as Anna and the Underbelly, is clearly curious to define herself, and has the metaphors to get there. On second-album opener “Five Dollar Bill,” she announces: “I am a rocking chair on the porch outside/ I am a stone skipping across the night/ I am a five dollar bill.” On Before Machines’ second song, “Map of the Stars,” she is “just a weathervane in the hazy summertime/ I’m the bluest bird looking to land.” She’s just warming up to the third track, “One Thousand & One,” which offers a litany of identities: “I am a mission bell ringing in the dark…dirty water in the wishing well…the orange glow of the sun on the hill” and many more. Tivel’s self-exploration is aided by a few sensitive players, including Jeffrey Martin and his gently empathic backing vocals. The album’s best songs are practically duets between Tivel’s voice—think of a savvier, raspier Joanna Newsom—and Taylor Kingman’s crisp, succinct electric-guitar lines. On the album’s back stretch, Tivel’s songs retread melodies and vocal cadences at an unrelentingly draggy pace. Last track “I’ll Be Home” finally makes an impression to equal the earlier songs, with some band members gamely trying to syncopate their sound into something resembling an upbeat closer, though they don’t quite carry the day. JEFF ROSENBERG.

future islands

AUGUST 16 musicfestnw.com/tickets

SEE IT: Anna Tivel plays the Old Church, 1422 SW 11th Ave., with Mike Coykendall and Vacilando, on Thursday, June 12. 8 pm. $8. All ages. Willamette Willamette Week WeekJUNE JUNE 11, 11, 20142014wweek.com wweek.com

MUSIC CALENDAR

[JUNE 11-17] The Old Church

= ww Pick. Highly recommended. Editor: Mitch Lillie. TO HAVE YOUR EVENT LISTED, send show information at least two weeks in advance on the web at wweek.com/ submitevents. Press kits, CDs and especially vinyl can be sent to Music Desk, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Please include show or release date information with all physical mailings. Email: music@wweek.com. For more listings, check out wweek.com.

1422 SW 11th Ave. Anna Tivel, Mike Coykendall and Vacilando

The Original Halibut’s II 2525 NE Alberta St. Terry Robb

THOMAS TEAL

The Press Club

2621 SE Clinton St. Austin Christ Quartet, Justin

The Secret Society

116 NE Russell St. Lincoln’s Beard, Vandella, Bob Stroup and The Blame

The Tea Zone and Camellia Lounge 510 NW 11th Ave. Mt. Tabor Jazz Trio

white eagle

836 N Russell St. Naomi LaViolette, Tiffany Carlson

white eagle Saloon

836 N Russell St. Chris Baron and Friends

wonder Ballroom 128 NE Russell St. Metronomy, Cloud Control

FRI. June 13 Al’s den

303 SW 12th Ave. Matt Meighan

Alberta Rose Theatre

KICKeR OF eLVeS: Guided by Voices performs at wonder Ballroom on June 7. See more photos at wweek.com.

wed. June 11 Al’s den

Hawthorne Theatre

720 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Peep Show

1507 SE 39th Ave. Unearth (performing The Oncoming Storm), Texas in July, Cruel Hand, Armed for the Apocalypse, Prove

Ash Street Saloon

In Other words

303 SW 12th Ave. Matt Meighan

Analog Cafe & Theater

225 SW Ash St. Crimson Guardian, B Fifty-thousand

14 NE Killingsworth St. Dirty Queer

Blue diamond

2016 NE Sandy Blvd. The Fenix Project

2342 SE Ankeny St. Honkytonk Variety Jamboree

Boon’s Treasury

Jimmy Mak’s

888 Liberty St. NE The Folly

Branx

320 SE 2nd Ave. Havok, Wretched

Bunk Bar

1028 SE Water Ave. Doug Gillard

Crystal Ballroom

1332 W Burnside Street Jamie Cullum

dante’s

350 W Burnside St. Nashville Pussy, Catl, the Yawpers

doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St. Tomorrows Tulips, Guantanamo Baywatch

duff’s Garage

2530 SE 82nd Ave Suburban Slim’s Blues, Wyatt Lowe and the Ottomatics

eastBurn

1800 E Burnside St. Ian Christenson Trio

edgefield

2126 SW Halsey St. Woodlander

Gemini Bar & Grill

456 N State St. Jacob Merlin and Sarah Billings

Jade Lounge

221 NW 10th Ave. The Christopher Brown Quartet, Mel Brown Quartet

Landmark Saloon

4847 SE Division St. Whiskey Wednesday, with Jake Ray & the Cowdogs

LaurelThirst Public House

2958 NE Glisan St. Corner (9 pm); The Old Flames (6 pm)

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Black Prairie

new Renaissance Bookshop

1338 NW 23rd Ave. Full Moon Drumming Circle: For Peace and Healing, Connie Hill

Rock Creek Tavern

10000 NW Old Cornelius Pass Rd. Billy D

Slabtown

1033 NW 16th Ave. Noise ‘n’ Beats Breakcore Bash: Divtech, Kool Skull, Muzzy, Mulatto Thunder vs. Hadron Collider

Star Theater

13 NW 6th Ave. A Wilhelm Scream, Direct Hit!, Burn The Stage & The Brass

Willamette Week JUNE 11, 2014 wweek.com

The GoodFoot Lounge 2845 SE Stark St. Trio Subtonic, Dan Balmer

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St. Sei Hexe, Slow Screams, Redneck

The Lehrer

8775 SW Canyon Ln. Emergency

The Lodge Bar & Grill 6605 SE Powell Blvd. Pete Ford Band

The Secret Society 116 NE Russell St. Branches, The Show Ponies, Blind Willies

The Tonic Lounge

3100 NE Sandy Blvd. Jimmy Newstetter Album Recording

Trail’s end Saloon 1320 Main Street Big Monti

white eagle Saloon 836 N Russell St. The Hill Dogs

wonder Ballroom

128 NE Russell St. The Mountain Goats, Loamlands

THuRS. June 12 Al’s den

303 SW 12th Ave. Matt Meighan

Alberta Rose Theatre 3000 NE Alberta St. Tyler Stenson, Jesse Terry, Tyler Fortier CD Release

Bear Paw Inn

3237 SE Milwaukie Ave. Severin Browne

Biddy McGraw’s

6000 NE Glisan St. Jack Dwyer, Ellie Hakanson and Sam Weiss

Blue diamond

2016 NE Sandy Blvd. Ben Jones and Friends

Bunk Bar

1028 SE Water Ave. Ah God, Heavy Hawaii, Tender Age

Old Church & Pub

Calapooia Brewing

30340 SW Boones Ferry Road The Builders and the Butchers

Chapel Pub

1332 W Burnside The Windshield Vipers

140 Hill St. NE Now Brothers

430 N Killingworth St. Steve Kerin

Crystal Ballroom

1332 W Burnside Street Swan Sovereign, Swansea

dante’s

350 W Burnside St. Big Business, American Sharks

doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St. Shad, Tope

duff’s Garage

2530 SE 82nd Ave Nick Moss Band, Michael Ledbetter, Tough Love Pyle

Hawthorne Theatre Lounge

1503 SE Cesar E Chavez Blvd. Blueprint, Count Bass D, DMLH, Sammy Warm Hands

Jade Lounge

2342 SE Ankeny St. JD’s Blues/Grass Sessions

Ringlers Pub

Rock Creek Tavern

10000 NW Old Cornelius Pass Rd. Pagan Jug Band

Slabtown

1033 NW 16th Ave. Rats in the Wall, Dirty Kid Discount, Juicy Karkass, The Whiskey Dickers

Star Theater

13 NW 6th Ave. Wyatt Lowe & The Ottomatics, The Chasers & Buffaloes

Starday Tavern

6517 SE Foster Road The California Sons

The Buffalo Gap

6835 SW Macadam Ave. Sawtell

The Conga Club

4923 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd. Dina y Los Rumberos

The GoodFoot Lounge

Jimmy Mak’s

2845 SE Stark St. Rippin’ Chicken, Klozd Sirkut

LaurelThirst Public House

832 SE Grand Ave. Pilon D’Azucar Salsa Band

221 NW 10th Ave. Mel Brown B3 Organ Group

The Grand Cafe & Andrea’s Cha Cha Club

2958 NE Glisan St. Dust & Thirst, Tillamook Burn (9:30); Lewi Longmire and the Left Coast Roasters (6 pm)

The Know

Mississippi Pizza Pub

8775 SW Canyon Ln. Sandy Saunders

3552 N. Mississippi Ave Mo Phillips

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Josh Rouse, Doug Paisley

Mock Crest Tavern

3435 N Lombart St. Claes of The Blueprints & Friends

2026 NE Alberta St. Big Black Cloud, Half Goon

The Lehrer

The Lodge Bar & Grill 6605 SE Powell Blvd. Ben Rice B3 Trio

The Muddy Rudder Public House 8105 SE 7th Ave. Stumbleweed

3000 NE Alberta St. Dani Shay, Christie Lene, Ali Stoker, Krista Herring

Ash Street Saloon

225 SW Ash St. Haunted Spaceship, Purr Gato, Analog Mistress

Beaterville Cafe

2201 N Killingsworth St. Matthew Lindley, Chez Stadium

edgefield

2126 SW Halsey St. Rainworms

Hawthorne Theatre

1507 SE 39th Ave. Renaissance Coalition, Grape God, Soopah Eype, Load B

Hotel Oregon

310 NE Evans St. Sloan Martin (of Steelhead)

Jade Lounge

2342 SE Ankeny St. Chris Juhlin, Dig Deep

Jantzen Beach Bar & Grill

909 N. Hayden Island Dr. Britnee Kellogg

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave. Devin Phillips

LaurelThirst Public House 2958 NE Glisan St. Garcia Birthday Band (9:30 pm); Joe McMurrian and Woodbrain (6 pm)

Magnolia’s Corner

4075 NE Sandy Blvd Wendy Biscuit Solo

Metropolitan Bistro and Bar

16755 SW Baseline Rd Jay Purvis

The Movement Center 1021 NE 33rd Ave Peia: Sacred Song Preserver

The Muddy Rudder Public House

8105 SE 7th Ave. The Sportin’ Lifers Trio

The Old Church

1422 SW 11th Ave. Astoria Music Festival Portland Preview

The Original Halibut’s II 2525 NE Alberta St. Jim Wallace

The Press Club

2621 SE Clinton St. The Druthers

The Red And Black Cafe

400 SE 12th Ave. Felicia and The Dinosaur

The Secret Society

116 NE Russell St. 6th Anniversary Bash!

The Tea Zone and Camellia Lounge

510 NW 11th Ave. Mark Simon Quintet

The Triangle Salem

3215 Liberty Rd. S Isaac Turner, Whim Grace

The whiskey Bar 31 NW 1st Ave. K Theory

Midnight Roundup

Tigardville Station

Mississippi Pizza Pub

Tony Starlight’s Supper Club

345 NW Burnside Rd. Carrie Cunningham 3552 N. Mississippi Ave Pura Vida Orchestra, Three for Silver

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Brainstorm, Social Studies, Hands In

12370 SW Main Street The Red Shoes Band

3728 NE Sandy Blvd. Tony Starlight’s AM Gold Show

Trail’s end Saloon 1320 Main Street JR Sims

Mock Crest Tavern

Vie de Boheme

6000 NE Glisan St. Fire Weeds, Austin Quattlebaum and Friends

Music Millennium

white eagle

Blue diamond

Ponderosa Lounge

white eagle Saloon

Biddy McGraw’s

2016 NE Sandy Blvd. PDX Magazine’s Friday the 13th Blues Party: Lisa Mann

Boon’s Treasury

888 Liberty St. NE The King Dot, Seance Crasher

3435 N Lombart St. Sneakin’ Out

3158 E. Burnside St. Don Lang 10350 N Vancouver Way Country Wide

Rock Creek Tavern

10000 NW Old Cornelius Pass Rd. Richard Cranium & The Phoreheads

Slabtown

1530 SE 7th Ave. Bart Hafeman

836 N Russell St. Cedar Teeth, the Trees 836 N Russell St. Reverb Brothers

SAT. June 14 Al’s den

303 SW 12th Ave. Matt Meighan

1033 NW 16th Ave. Mos Generator, Holy Grove, The Thrones, Disenchanter

Aladdin Theater

1028 SE Water Ave. The Builders and the Butchers

Calapooia Brewing

St. Honore

Alberta Rose Theatre

140 Hill St. NE The Incompatibles

3333 SE Division Street Eric John Kaiser

Club 21

Star Theater

Bunk Bar

2035 NE Glisan St. Lovesores, Vodka Wilson Overdrive, Exacerbators

13 NW 6th Ave. Rocky Votolato, Lotte Kestner, Kevin Long

Clyde’s Prime Rib Restaurant & Bar

The Buffalo Gap

5474 NE Sandy Blvd. Muthaship

6835 SW Macadam Ave. Dear Drummer, Southeast Chelsea Street

dante’s

The Firkin Tavern

350 W Burnside St. Summer Kick Off Bash: Daydream Machine, Gaytheist, Miracle Falls, Gibraltar, Down Gown

1937 SE 11th Ave. Down Dirty Shake, Autonomics, Navarrone Bandits

doug Fir Lounge

3416 N Lombard St. Hex Horizontal

830 E Burnside St. Passport Approved Live

duff’s Garage

2530 SE 82nd Ave King Beta, Hamdogs

east end

203 SE Grand Ave. Thee Four Teens, Browntown, Mister Tang, Kramer

eastBurn

1800 E Burnside St. Unsafe Dartz!

The Foggy notion

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St. Sex Crime, Cyclops, The Rebel Set, Therapists, Denizenz

The Lehrer

8775 SW Canyon Ln. The Discords

The Living Room Theater 341 SW 10th Ave . Austin Christ

3017 SE Milwaukie Ave. The Milk Carton Kids, Tom Brosseau 3000 NE Alberta St. 9th Annual Dolly Parton Hoot Night

Alhambra Theatre

4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Sage Francis, B. Dolan, Sleep

Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall

1037 SW Broadway Night & Day: The Music of Cole Porter

Ash Street Saloon

225 SW Ash St. Sirens Echo, DJ Spark, Bad Tenants

Beaterville Cafe

2201 N Killingsworth St. Vanessa Rogers, Jeremy Hollen

Biddy McGraw’s

6000 NE Glisan St. Argyle, Cash Money Blues, Castletown

Blue diamond

2016 NE Sandy Blvd. Deep Blue Soul Revue

Calapooia Brewing 140 Hill St. NE Dogs of August

CONT. on page 38

Willamette Week JUNE 11, 2014 wweek.com

MUSIC CALENDAR Clyde’s Prime Rib Restaurant & Bar

5474 NE Sandy Blvd. Elite

Columbia Center for the Arts

215 Cascade Street, PO Box 1543 Project Oregon United for Marriage Support Concert

Dante’s

350 W Burnside St. The 14th Annual Pimps n Ho Ball, Sirmixalot

Doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St. Johnette Napolitano (of Concrete Blonde)

Duff’s Garage

2530 SE 82nd Ave Big Monti

Edgefield

2126 SW Halsey St. Mark Alan

Hawthorne Theatre Lounge

1503 SE Cesar E Chavez Blvd. Spirit Animal, The Hoons and Land of the Living

Hotel Oregon

310 NE Evans St. Sonny Hess

Jade Lounge

2342 SE Ankeny St. Christopher John Mead and Friends

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave. The Yachtsmen, Jarrod Lawson & Friends

Kenton Club

2025 N Kilpatrick St. Nasalrod, Polst, A Volcano

Kruger’s Farm

17100 NW Sauvie Island Road Kruger’s Farm Berry Jam

DATES11–17 JUNE

Laughing Horse Books

12 NE 10th Ave Priests, Spider and the Webs, Love and Caring

LaurelThirst Public House 2958 NE Glisan St. Becky Kappell, Janet Julian, Tim Acott, Mike Danner, Russ Miller (9:30 pm); The Yellers (6 pm)

Midnight Roundup

345 NW Burnside Rd. Carrie Cunningham

Mississippi Pizza Pub 3552 N. Mississippi Ave Mbrascatu, TenPenny

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Mrs Queer Dance Party, DJ Beyonda; The Mystery Box Show

North Portland Yoga 55 NE Farragut St. Matthew Schoening

Ponderosa Lounge

10350 N Vancouver Way Whiskey Union

Rock Creek Tavern

10000 NW Old Cornelius Pass Rd. The Twangshifters

Slabtown

1033 NW 16th Ave. Nuggets Night: Honus Huffhines, Metropolitan Farms, Paradise, The Pynnacles, The Verner Pantons

Slim’s Restaurant & Lounge

8635 N Lombard St. Dig Deep with Wendy & The Lost Boys

Star Theater

13 NW 6th Ave. Jolie Holland, Jess Williamson, School of Rock, Sonic Youth vs. My Bloody Valentine

Willamette Week JUNE 11, 2014 wweek.com

The Buffalo Gap

6835 SW Macadam Ave. Angela Davise Experience

The GoodFoot Lounge 2845 SE Stark St. 1 Year Anniversary of Tropitaal: DJ Anjali and The Incredible Kid

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St. Arctic Flowers

The Living Room Theater 341 SW 10th Ave. Jeremiah Clark

The Old Church

1422 SW 11th Ave. Danny Schmidt and Antje Duvekot

The Original Halibut’s II 2525 NE Alberta St. Rae Gordon

The Red And Black Cafe 400 SE 12th Ave. City Girl, Blowout!

The Secret Society

116 NE Russell St. Jacob Miller and The Bridge City Crooners, Well Swung, The Hollerbodies

The Tea Zone and Camellia Lounge 510 NW 11th Ave. Everythings Jake

Trail’s End Saloon 1320 Main Street Strange Tones

White Eagle

836 N Russell St. Mark Schimick Band, Jackstraw

White Owl Social Club 1305 SE 8th Ave. Control Top

SUN. JUNE 15 Al’s Den

303 SW 12th Ave. Matthew Szlachetka, Jamie Kent

Alhambra Theatre

4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Moving Units

Ash Street Saloon

225 SW Ash St. Blue Ember, HARPS, Ask You in Gray, Target for Tomorrow

Christopher David Design

Rontoms

600 E. Burnside St. The Lower 48, Dude York, Fur Coats

Sapphire Hotel

The Lovecraft

Slabtown

Dante’s

1033 NW 16th Ave. Grand Style Orchestra

350 W Burnside St. Karaoke from Hell

The Muddy Rudder Public House

Starday Tavern

Doug Fir Lounge

6517 SE Foster Road Wendy Biscuit

The Embers Avenue

East End

1320 Main Street Sundays at the Trails

203 SE Grand Ave. Consumer

Edgefield

2126 SW Halsey St. Lewi Longmire, Anita Lee Eliott

Kruger’s Farm

17100 NW Sauvie Island Road Kruger’s Farm Berry Jam

LaurelThirst Public House

2958 NE Glisan St. Anne-Marie Sanderson (9 pm); Freak Mountain Ramblers (6 pm)

Mississippi Pizza Pub 3552 N. Mississippi Ave Lost Creek Bluegrass

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Chad VanGaalen, Cousins

Rock Creek Tavern

10000 NW Old Cornelius Pass Rd. Hanz Araki

2026 NE Alberta St. Hang The Old Year, Barrows, Sky Above and Earth Below

Dante’s

Doug Fir Lounge 830 E Burnside St. Aoife O’Donovan

The Know

5008 Southeast Hawthorne Blvd Galen Fous

110 NW Broadway Portland Pride Week Finale, Brazilian Dance Party

901 NW 10th Avenue Sangria, Sweets, and Songs

Branx

320 SE 2nd Ave. Farewell My Love, Jamies Elsewhere, Incredible Me and Lionfight

Trail’s End Saloon

Valentines

232 SW Ankeny St. Yaquina Bay, Brette and Blake

Vie De Boheme

1530 SE 7th Ave. Chuck Israels Jazz Cafe

White Eagle Saloon

836 N Russell St. Hart & Hare, Coastlands, Weather Exposed

Wonder Ballroom 128 NE Russell St. Yann Tiersen, NO

MON. JUNE 16 Al’s Den

303 SW 12th Ave. Matthew Szlachetka, Jamie Kent

Alhambra Theatre

4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Emby Alexander, Bath Party, The English Language, Hemmingway

350 W Burnside St. Hart and Hare

830 E Burnside St. Dark Corners, High F, Mannequins, Ugly, Downer Boxes

Edgefield

2126 SW Halsey St. Skip vonKuske’s Groovy Wallpaper

421 SE Grand Ave. Reyna The Ripper

8105 SE 7th Ave. Lloyd Jones

Valentines

232 SW Ankeny St. US Lights, Lubec, Bed

White Eagle Saloon 836 N Russell St. Singer Songwriter Showcase, Eric John Kaiser

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave. Evergreen High School Jazz Band

TUES. JUNE 17 Al’s Den

Jimmy Mak’s

303 SW 12th Ave. Matthew Szlachetka, Jamie Kent

LaurelThirst Public House

Ash Street Saloon

221 NW 10th Ave. The Dan Balmer Trio

2958 NE Glisan St. Kung Pao Chickens (9 pm); Portland Country Underground (6 pm)

Lola’s Room

1332 W Burnside Punk Rock Mondays

Radar

3951 N Mississippi Ave. Laura Gibson

Rock Creek Tavern

10000 NW Old Cornelius Pass Rd. Bob Shoemaker

Slabtown

1033 NW 16th Ave. Cotton, Historian (LA), and Long Hallways

225 SW Ash St. God Bless America

Blue Diamond

2016 NE Sandy Blvd. The Gretchen Mitchell Band

Branx

320 SE 2nd Ave. Pelican, Tombs, Dust Moth

Cadigan’s Corner Bar 5501 SE 72nd Ave. Soul Provider, Naomi T

Director Park

815 SW Park Ave Classical Tuesdays: Frankly Viola

Doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St. Jessica Lea Mayfield, Israel Nash

Duff’s Garage

2530 SE 82nd Ave Dover Weinberg Quartet

East End

203 SE Grand Ave. The Rebel Set, Fine Pets, The Hot LZs

Hawthorne Theatre

1507 SE 39th Ave. MewithoutYou, The World is a Beautiful Place & I am no Longer Afraid to Die and Dark Rooms

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave. Melissa Aldana & Crash Trio

LaurelThirst Public House

2958 NE Glisan St. Amanda Richards and the Good Long Whiles (9 pm); Jackstraw (6 pm)

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Joseph, Penny and Sparrow, Samsel and the Skirt

The GoodFoot Lounge

2845 SE Stark St. Boys II Gentlemen, Featuring Members of Quick and Easy Boys and Excellent Gentlemen

The Lehrer

8775 SW Canyon Ln. Hot Jam Night, Tracey Fordice and The 8-Balls

The Old Church

1422 SW 11th Ave. Choro Das 3

The Tea Zone and Camellia Lounge

510 NW 11th Ave. Tom Wakeling & Steve Christofferson

Valentines

232 SW Ankeny St. Drowse, Desert of Hiatus

CONT. on page 40

Keith Jarrett & Charlie Hayden Last Dance $13.99 CD

Keith Jarrett and Charlie Haden broaden the scope of their duo project to showcase jazz classics like Thelonious Monk’s “Round Midnight” and Bud Powell’s spritely “Dance Of The Infidels”. Love songs, however, are to the fore in this selection, with tender versions of “My Old Flame”, “My Ship”, “It Might As Well Be Spring”, “Everything Happens To Me”, and “Every Time We Say Goodbye.” “When we play together it’s like two people singing”, said Jarrett of his reunion with Haden. As Charlie Haden put it, “Keith really listens, and I listen. That’s the secret. It’s about listening.”

New Music From

ENTER TO WIN A SIGNED BILLy HART DRUM HEAD Save 20% off all ECM Catalog titles!

Jacob Young Forever Young $13.99 CD

Forever Young features melodically inventive, harmonically sophisticated and rhythmically alert jazz, composed by Norwegian-American guitarist Jacob Young and played by a spirited team of contemporaries. Jacob Young and saxophonist Trygve Seim are joined on this album by the Polish pianist, bassist and drummer widely known as the Marcin Wasilewski Trio, a group with its own 20 years playing history. This recording marks Jacob Young’s first alliance with the Poles, although Trygve Seim has worked extensively with Wasilewski and bassist Slawomir Kurkiewicz while all three were members of Manu Katché’s touring band.

Willamette Week JUNE 11, 2014 wweek.com

MUSIC CALENDAR

JUNE 11–17

A N N A J AY E G O E L L N E R

BAR SPOTLIGHT

AUGUST 16 & 17 2014

AUGUST 16 & 17 2014 | WATERFRONT PARK

HAIM

INFIELD PARTY: Proud NASCAR bar Hollywood’s Hot Rod Bar and Grill (10810 NE Sandy Blvd., 946-8242, hollywoodshotrodbarandgrill.com) belongs right where it is, on a strip of Sandy Boulevard that is essentially a small-town speedway lined by sports bars and German sausage, at the bow of two freeways. There’s a racecar displayed on the roof, and no fewer than five life-size fiberglass racing chassis replicas are hung high and low on the bar’s walls, from Richie Evans’ famed No. 61 to Junior’s old Budweiser car. Hollywood’s opens early on Sundays when there’s a race showing, and a 7-ounce prime rib dinner is a mere $5 after 4 pm on Sundays and Mondays. (You might have to do some of your own trimming, but it’s a perfectly good $5 meal.) The red-painted room is prettied up with bolted sheet aluminum in places, and in front of the three pristine, red-felt pool tables are a pair of plush vinyl couches facing the TVs, with a table in the middle for your beer. Think of Hollywood’s as a basement den for people whose first gift from their father was a toolbox. It’s the sort of place where everybody knows everybody somehow, half the crowd looks like their other car is a motorcycle, and grown men get a little misty when talking about solid craftsmanship. When you lift your sleeve to show off your tattoo, it better have flames coming out of it. MATTHEW KORFHAGE. The Whiskey Bar 31 NW 1st Ave. Adrian Lux

SUN. JUNE 15 WED. JUNE 11 CC Slaughters Nightclub & Lounge 219 NW Davis St. DJ Robb, Trick

FUCked Up

Ground Kontrol Classic Arcade

511 NW Couch St. TRONix: Bryan Zentz

Harlem Portland

220 SW Ankeny St. DJ Jack

The Lovecraft

421 SE Grand Ave. Exhume

THURS. JUNE 12

AUGUST 17

musicfestnw.com/tickets

Berbati

19 SW 2nd Ave. Study Hall With DJ Suga Shane

Harlem Portland

220 SW Ankeny St. DJ Tourmaline, DJ Valen

Holocene

1001 SE Morrison St. Body Party: Holla n Oats, Ben Tactic, Chrome Wolves

Tiga Bar Portland

1465 NE Prescott St. DJ Avant to Party

FRI. JUNE 13 Holocene

1001 SE Morrison St. #NSFW: Pride Kick-Off Party, Mr. Charming Bruce LaBruiser Misti Miller KKost Gossip Cat

Willamette Week JUNE 11, 2014 wweek.com

Lola’s Room

1332 W Burnside 80s Video Dance Attack

Moloko Plus

3967 N Mississippi Ave. Hans Fricking Lindauer Rhythm and Soul Review

Rotture

315 SE 3rd Ave. Extravaganza Vogue Ball: SPF666

The GoodFoot Lounge

2845 SE Stark St. Soul Stew, DJ Aquaman

The Lovecraft

421 SE Grand Ave. DJ Horrid

Turn! Turn! Turn!

8 NE Killiingsworth St Cascadia Soul Alliance Dance Party

SAT. JUNE 14 Crystal Ballroom

1332 W Burnside Street Gaylabration 2014 Official Pride Saturday Night Dance Party

Holocene

1001 SE Morrison St. Verified: DJ Hoodboi, Gang$ign$, SPF666 B2B Commune, Photon!, Shk Tht

The GoodFoot Lounge

2845 SE Stark St. 1 Year Anniversary of Tropitaal, DJ Anjali and The Incredible Kid

CC Slaughters Nightclub & Lounge

219 NW Davis St. The Superstar Divas, DJ Robb

Holocene

1001 SE Morrison St. DICKSLAP, Adore Delano

Lightbar

1401 SE Morrison Sanctuary Sunday

MON. JUNE 16 Ash Street Saloon

225 SW Ash St. DJ Smooth Hopperator

Dig a Pony

736 Southeast Grand Ave. Bad Wizard

Tiga Bar Portland

1465 NE Prescott St. DJ Coldyron

TUES. JUNE 17 Analog Cafe & Theater

720 SE Hawthorne Blvd. S.Y.N.T. Weekly Dubstep Night

The Lovecraft

421 SE Grand Ave. TRNGL, DJ Rhienna

Tiga Bar Portland

1465 NE Prescott St. DJ Blind Bartameus

Willamette Week JUNE 11, 2014 wweek.com

June 11–17

= WW Pick. Highly recommended. Most prices listed are for advance ticket sales. At-the-door increases and so-called convenience charges may apply, so it’s best to call ahead. Editor: REBECCA JACOBSON. Theater: REBECCA JACOBSON (rjacobson@wweek.com). Dance: AARON SPENCER (dance@wweek.com). TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit information at least two weeks in advance to: rjacobson@wweek.com.

THEATER OPENINGS & PREVIEWS Invasion!

Badass Theatre Company brings back last spring’s production of Invasion!, which was a 2013 theater highlight. The play, by Jonas Hassen Khemiri, is a wondrous shapeshifter: It zings from lowbrow comedy to raw emotion, all the while excavating issues of national, ethnic and religious identity, and Badass’ quartet of actors absolutely devoured it last year. All four are back for this remount. Miracle Theatre, 525 SE Stark St., 236-7253. 7:30 pm Wednesdays-Saturdays through June 27. $20.

Leenane Day

Third Rail’s current—and scabrously funny—production of The Beauty Queen of Leenane marks the end of the company’s journey through Martin McDonagh’s Leenane trilogy, all set in the same town in western Ireland. After today’s matinee performance of Beauty Queen at 2 pm, there will be free readings of the first two plays from the cycle: A Skull in Connemara at 5:30 pm and Lonesome West at 8 pm. Winningstad Theatre, 1111 SW Broadway, 248-4335. Various times Sunday, June 15. Prices vary; readings are free.

The Mystery Box Show

Like The Moth, just with five true stories about all things sex, from steamy to bittersweet to brutally embarrassing. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 288-3895. 7 pm Saturday, June 14. $14-$16.

OMG! It’s…the Donnie Show

If you’ve ever been to a show at Triangle Productions, you’ve seen Don Horn: He’s the tan, barefoot guy in the unbuttoned shirt who looks like he just stepped off a cruise boat. The exuberant executive director of the theater company hosts a variety show, with musical help from Jonathan Quesenberry and different guests at every performance. Mimosas are basically mandatory. Sanctuary at Sandy Plaza, 1785 NE Sandy Blvd., 239-5919. 7:30 pm Fridays-Saturdays through June 28. $20.

Pimento & Pullman

In characteristically idiosyncratic fashion, Imago Theatre founder Jerry Mouawad brings together two unique one-acts. First up is Pullman Car Hiawatha by Thornton Wilder (maybe you’ve heard of his little play Our Town?), about an overnight train trip to Chicago in which time is suspended and the planets and the weather become characters. Mouawad follows that metaphysical experiment with his own Pimento, featuring three clowns who keep accidentally finding themselves in salacious scenarios. Imago Theatre, 17 SE 8th Ave., 231-3959. 7 pm Thursday, 8 pm Friday, 3 and 8 pm Saturday and 3 pm Sunday, June 12-15. $10-$20.

Slant: Live Queer Storytelling

Performance artist, drag queen and self-proclaimed “faggot bastard queen” Kaj-anne Pepper hosts an evening of queer-themed tales. Proceeds benefit Teacher Ten, a project devoted to helping LGBTQ teachers tell their stories. Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison St., 239-7639. 8 pm Wednesday, June 11. $10-$12. 21+.

Super Heroines Fight For Social Justice

For this original performance, young women in foster care transform themselves into superheroes who battle for LGBTQ rights, fight unfaithful partners and champion love. Presented by Well Arts and Boys and Girls Aid.

Sellwood Playhouse, 901 SE Spokane St., wellarts.org. 2 pm Sunday, June 15. $5-$10.

NEW REVIEWS The Hen Night Epiphany

If your idea of a good hen night— the Irish equivalent of a bachelorette party—involves dancing, flirting and enough booze to float a boatload of Chippendales, Jimmy Murphy’s The Hen Night Epiphany might puzzle you a wee. Bride-to-be Una has invited four women to her remote cottage, ostensibly to celebrate her last week of singlehood. But her real motive is free labor. She’s hoping her friends will help her get the place—recently repossessed and a mess of trash and children’s toys—move-in ready. Una’s hen night, while not exactly another Hangover waiting to happen, does turn out to be full of surprises. There’s something amiss with nearly everyone. The groom’s godmother is tortured by a secret. Una’s besties are either mid-breakup or mourning yet another failed love affair. The only seemingly happy hens are Una and her future mother-in-law, Olive, but as the night wears on it becomes clear that no one in this motley crew is without wounds, whether psychic or corporeal. Under the smart direction of Gemma Whelan, the performances in this Corrib Theatre production, particularly those of Amanda Soden as Una and Luisa Sermol as Olive, are first rate. But they can’t save what is ultimately a somewhat sluggish tract on the abuse women suffer at the hands of their menfolk. That’s not to say there isn’t a story here. There is. And it’s told with a sprinkling of poignant humor a la Steel Magnolias, but Murphy’s writing is a bit like the hike the women have to take to get to Una’s nest on the hill— heavy-going, muddy and sure to leave you parched for a pitcher of “Bitch Whiskeys.” DEBORAH KENNEDY. CoHo Theater, 2257 NW Raleigh St., corribtheatre.org. 7:30 pm ThursdaysSaturdays and 2 pm Sundays through June 29. $15-$25.

ALSO PLAYING The Beauty Queen of Leenane

Martin McDonagh’s The Beauty Queen of Leenane takes us to a small stone cottage in County Galway, where we meet Mag (Jayne Taini), an old crone who lurks like Jabba the Hutt in her rocking chair and delights in pouring the contents of her chamber pot down the kitchen sink. She shares the home with her 40-year-old daughter Maureen (Maureen Porter), and the two keep each other trapped in mutual torment. Mothers and daughters the world over have tumultuous relationships, but most don’t gleefully gab about decapitating the other. When a local man (played by Damon Kupper with warmth and humor) strikes up a romance with Maureen, it tips things with Mag into the danger zone. With Beauty Queen, Third Rail completes McDonagh’s Leenane trilogy, and that familiarity shows in Scott Yarbrough’s confident direction. The performers, too, are at ease with the distinctive, Gaelic-influenced syntactical patter, and their characters feel lived-in. Taini brings just enough sorrow and fear to the role of Mag, while Porter manifests those emotions more subtly: She keeps her hands in loose fists, curled awkwardly toward her waist, and her eyes shift from weariness to menace to confusion. “I’ll never die!” hollers Mag at one point, and you almost—almost— wish that could be the truth. REBECCA JACOBSON. Winningstad Theatre, 1111 SW Broadway, 248-4335. 7:30 pm Thursdays-Saturdays and 2 pm Sundays through June 22. $20-$43.

Buried Child

In the 1960s, Sam Shepard was making

Willamette Week JUNE 11, 2014 wweek.com

his name in Greenwich Village’s experimental scene with fractured, restless one-acts. Buried Child, the 1978 work that catapulted the playwright to fame and earned him a Pulitzer, was different: It had a clear setting and a mostly lucid (if grim) storyline of family dysfunction, incest, adultery and infanticide. Yet it wasn’t a clean shift to realism either. Buried Child has a surrealistic, rootless quality, which makes it a difficult work to stage. As much as this Profile production plays up the drama’s strange volatility, the cast is uneven. Set in rural Illinois, Buried Child introduces us to prodigal son Vince, who’s driving across the country and stops by to visit family he hasn’t seen in six years. But his surly grandfather Dodge claims not to recognize him, and his father behaves as if lobotomized. Over the course of the next day, the family’s secrets are cruelly aired. The set is wonderful: a mustardyellow couch hulks in the center of the stage, and house is represented by skeletal beams. Where this production starts to lose hold is in its performances. As Dodge, Tobias Andersen is marvelous, all hacking cough, pinched eyes and shimmying jaw. Foss Curtis plays Vince’s girlfriend with just the right stew of bewilderment, humanity and moxie. And as Dodge’s adulterous wife, Jane Fellows swings from venomous to falsely cheerful. But as Vince, Ty Hewitt lacks the same grasp on his role. With his unvaried vocal register and purposeless hand flailing, he moves from odd petulance in the first act to unfocused rage in the second. Buried Child should feel off-kilter— just not this unsteady. REBECCA JACOBSON. Artists Repertory Theatre, 1515 SW Morrison St., 2420080. 7:30 pm Thursdays-Saturdays (and Wednesday, June 11) and 2 pm Sundays through June 15. $30.

The Fantasticks

Sandy Actors Theatre stages its first musical, a 1960 confection about two dads who trick their kids into falling in love. Sandy Actors Theatre, 17433 Meinig Ave., Sandy, 668-6834. 8 pm Fridays-Saturdays and 3 pm Sundays through June 22. $15.

Iolanthe

Semi-professional company Mock’s Crest, which unites professional performers with students and faculty from the University of Portland, presents Gilbert & Sullivan’s fairy operetta, setting it in London’s SoHo District in the swinging ‘60s. Mago Hunt Center, University of Portland, 5000 N Willamette Blvd., 943-7287. 7:30 pm Fridays-Saturdays and 2 pm Sundays through June 29. $27-$32.

The Last Five Years

The Last Five Years begins at the end of a love story—but also at the beginning. That might sound like a sappy rom-com tag line, but don’t be mistaken: This two-character musical, presented by Portland Center Stage, features separate timelines, one going forward and the other backward, as our couple falls in and out of love (or out of and into love). Written by Jason Robert Brown in 2002, the musical travels forward with Jamie, a successful writer who has just fallen in love with Cathy, and in reverse with Cathy, a struggling actress shattered by the end of her marriage to Jamie. Though it’s occasionally disappointing that the characters don’t really interact with each other—their timelines intersect only once—Merideth Kaye Clark and Drew Harper give wonderfully natural performances. KAITIE TODD. Gerding Theater, 128 NW 11th Ave., 4453700. 7:30 pm Tuesdays-Saturdays, 2 pm Saturdays-Sundays and noon Thursdays through June 22. $30-$60.

Macbeth

Shakespeare’s darkest trip of butchery and regret gets haphazard treatment in this Northwest Classical Theatre Company production, which successfully plays up the spookiness of Macbeth but falls down in its tangled, seemingly tossed-together details. Credit director Butch Flowers for his attempts to add some flair to an oft-produced tragedy, but that

CONT. on page 43

REVIEW PAT R I C K W E I S H A M P E L

PERFORMANCE

scream blOOdy murder: mary Kate morrissey.

LIZZIE (PORTLAND CENTER STAGE) Like Gwen Stefani circa “Just a Girl”— only homicidal and clad in Victorian dress—the Lizzie Borden of rock opera Lizzie is a foot-stomping, hair-flinging rebel who can rock out with the best of them. Never mind that the real-life Borden was believed to be homely and less-than-bright: Here she’s a redheaded firecracker in a turquoise dress with an ax (heh) to grind. She may still be deranged, but she’s got good motive for hacking her father and stepmother to bits. In the style of Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson or Spring Awakening, Lizzie mashes together period and modern ingredients to tell the story of one of America’s most infamous women. Lizzie’s attempts at narrative-building and character development prove mostly thin, but its punk- and metal-inspired songs, with lyrics that draw from actual dialogue during Borden’s 1892 trial in Fall River, Mass., are delicious and loud. From the savage numbers to the slower, hymnlike ballads, they’re a counterintuitive blend of camp, gore, profanity and tenderness. Versions of Lizzie date back to 1990, but this production—with music by Steven Cheslik-deMeyer and Alan Stevens Hewitt, and lyrics by Cheslik-deMeyer and Tim Maner—is getting its premiere at Portland Center Stage. Director Rose Riordan stages Lizzie with plenty of rock-concert flourishes. The cast of four whip hand mics out of their pockets, take every confrontational power stance possible, unleash primordial wails a la Led Zeppelin and seductively caress the onstage scaffolding. That scaffolding quite obviously recalls prison bars, and as in Chicago’s “Cell Block Tango,” Borden’s victims had it coming: The show makes Lizzie’s father out to be a sexually abusive miser who prioritized his second wife over his daughters. “He let us go, she runs the show,” sing Lizzie and her sister Emma. (Andrew Borden was indeed a tightfisted undertaker, but there’s scant evidence he molested either daughter.) Their stepmother, like all stepmothers of legend, was simply evil. But Lizzie’s backstory doesn’t stop there: The show also imagines a lesbian relationship between Lizzie and her neighbor Alice. Perhaps that felt edgy in the 1990 version, a radical contribution to the era’s queer politics, but here it plays out sans passion or tension. (It also has no grounding in historical fact.) Here’s the thing, though: As much as a liberal-arts student might gleefully “problematize” the liberties that Lizzie takes, as a vehicle for a powerful quartet of women to belt out anthems of rebellion and retribution, it’s pretty damn fun. Mary Kate Morrissey plays a captivating Lizzie. Like a marionette operated by a diabolical puppeteer, she jerks her body around and bugs out her eyes, especially during the bone-rattling “Somebody Will Do Something,” which co-stars a blood-spewing hatchet. At another point, surrounded by decapitated pigeons—Ozzy Osbourne’s notorious bat incident comes to mind—and her hands covered in blood like a New England Lady Macbeth, she throws her arms out to her sides like a crucifix. Matching Morrissey is Carrie Cimma as Bridget, the Bordens’ Irish maid. Cimma won a Drama Desk Award in 2010 for playing the same character in New York City, and here she’s a boiling cauldron of resentment, vanity and mischievousness, with high kicks to rival David Lee Roth’s. Some speculate that Bridget did the nasty deed. As played by Cimma, I certainly wouldn’t mess with her. REBECCA JACOBSON. Took an ax, gave her mother 40 whacks.

see it: Lizzie is at Gerding Theater, 128 NW 11th Ave., 445-3700. 7:30 pm Tuesdays-Sundays, 2 pm Saturdays-Sundays and noon Thursdays through June 29. $38-$72.

June 11–17

OUTwright Theatre Festival

Back in 2011, Fuse Theatre Ensemble launched a reading series devoted to LGBTQ plays, and two years later, it was relaunched as a full-blown theater festival. This year’s monthlong fest includes fully mounted productions happening around town (including Golden Girls Live), numerous staged readings and a few panel discussions. Multiple venues. Multiple times and dates through June 29; visit outwrightfest.com for full schedule. Prices vary.

Once

The 2012 Tony-winning musical, about a Dublin street musician who falls in love with a beautiful young Czech woman, hits Portland on its national tour. Keller Auditorium, 222 SW Clay St., 800-273-1530. 7:30 pm TuesdayFriday; 2 and 7:30 pm Saturday; 1 and 6:30 pm Sunday, June 10-15. $30-$75.

The Playboy of the Western World

J. M. Synge’s satirical masterpiece tells the story of Christy Mahon, a young man who earns the admiration of a tiny Irish hamlet when he announces that he has just murdered his father. It’s a decidedly odd premise, and when The Playboy of the Western World debuted in Dublin in 1907, it gave rise to riots in the streets. Irish Catholics took umbrage at what they saw as Synge’s disrespectful depiction of their countrymen, and it’s true that many of the characters do not come off as the brightest kerosene in the lamp. But Synge’s point wasn’t to ridicule rural Micks; it was to skewer humankind’s ridiculous obsession with celebrity culture. Thanks to a talented cast and Dámaso Rodriguez’s inspired direction, this Artists Rep production hits all the right notes. Amy Newman is perfect as Pegeen, whose rough edges are briefly softened by love. Chris Murray, meanwhile, is a revelation as the playboy, inhabiting that winning space between cunning and vulnerability. DEBORAH KENNEDY. Artists Repertory Theatre, 1515 SW Morrison St., 241-1278. 7:30 pm Wednesdays-Sundays and 2 pm Sundays through June 22. $25-$55.

Relatively Speaking

The North End Players present Alan Ayckbourn’s 1967 play. It’s a story of mistaken identities and romantic strife, set against the backdrop of the swinging ’60s. St. Andrew’s Episcopal Church, 7600 N Hereford St., 7052088. 7:30 pm Fridays-Saturdays through June 14. $12.

Robinson Crusoe

The power of Daniel Defoe’s Robinson Crusoe comes from Crusoe’s brutal confrontation with his mortality, the chilling first-person perspective and, of course, the pirates and cannibals. Action/Adventure Theatre is known for its semi-scripted serial comedies, and now the company applies that approach to the world of classic literature. Unfortunately, the first installment of Robinson Crusoe—it continues for two more weekends—was not a dramatic initial chapter but a one-man show in a sandbox. Ian Armstrong plays the titular marooned man, at times becoming so passionately deranged—writhing, pacing or emitting full-bodied screams—that audiences leaned back to get as far away as possible. But at only 45 minutes, things wrapped up before Crusoe had really begun his adventure. That’s not to say it was without merit: The sound designer surrounded the audience in the rhythmic crashing of

waves, and there’s an intricate goat puppet created by Signal Light Puppet Theatre. But having additional characters onstage will hopefully get more comedic juices flowing, because for every one of Armstrong’s clever oneliners opening weekend, he tossed in a lukewarm, lewd joke that seemed only to land with friends of the troupe sitting in the audience. LAURA HANSON. Action/Adventure Theatre, 1050 SE Clinton St. 8 pm ThursdaysSundays through June 22. $10-$15; Thursdays “pay what you will.”

States of Emergency

Whether it’s because they’ve horrified or enthralled, some plays have a way of lingering long after the actors take their bows. Often that’s welcome—it’s one of the things that makes theater so vital. Other times, though, these unforgettable scenes stick around too long for comfort. Director Jon Kretzu spans this spectrum with Fewer Emergencies and Betty’s Summer Vacation, running in repertory at Defunkt under the name “States of Emergency.” Both works tackle modern-day violence, exploring how it can be shrouded in fake optimism or sensationalized by entertainment junkies hungry for the next headline. Told in three loosely connected acts, Martin Crimp’s Fewer Emergencies examines suffering, mental illness and domestic gloom among the affluent. The play also has some plot points cloaked in a cheerful sheen, which leaves audiences with an appealing, if unsettling, ambiguity. There is no subtlety, however, to Betty’s Summer Vacation. Christopher Durang has called his 1999 play a commentary on the “tabloidization” of U.S. culture and the media’s focus on violence and gossip, and the story includes rape, castration and a beheading. This is black comedy at its most pointed, which is effective in making an argument about sensationalism, but it overwhelms more than it enlightens. KAITIE TODD. The Back Door Theater, 4319 SE Hawthorne Blvd. 7:30 pm Thursdays-Sundays through June 21; see defunktheatre.com for complete schedule. $15-$25 sliding scale Fridays-Saturdays; “pay what you can” Thursdays and Sundays.

COMEDY & VARIETY Chris Hardwick

One of the primary people responsible for the current boom in comedy podcasts, Hardwick is the CEO of Nerdist Industries. He’s the host of that company’s flagship podcast, as well as Comedy Central’s super popular @midnight. His standup is (surprise!) pretty nerdy, and he delights in recounting tales of adolescent mortification. Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9th Ave., 888-643-8669. 8 pm Thursday and 7:30 and 10 pm Friday-Saturday, June 12-14. $20-$32.

Golden Girls Live

An all-male cast puts on a genderbending live stage adaptation of two episodes of the venerable television show. Funhouse Lounge, 2432 SE 11th Ave., 841-6734. 7 pm ThursdaysSaturdays through June 28. $15-$18.

Jimmy Newstetter Album Recording

Local comic Jimmy Newstetter records his first live album There Will Be Board, with additional standup sets from Whitney Streed, Lance Bangs and Philip Schallberger. Tonic Lounge, 3100 NE Sandy Blvd., 238-0543. 9:30 pm Wednesday, June 11. “Pay what you want,” $3-$7 suggested.

Lez Standup

Host Kirsten Kuppenbender brings back her showcase of standup with a feminist, lesbian bent. Tonight features Jes Rega, Bob Kendrick, Barbara Holm and others. Curious Comedy, 5225 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 477-9477. 8 pm Thursday, June 12. $7-$10.

Picture This!

This monthly show is kind of like standup meets Pictionary: Comics perform their sets will being drawn live by artists. Curious Comedy, 5225 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 477-9477. 10 pm every second Friday. $10.

Portland’s Funniest Person Preliminaries Inferno Helium’s annual Funniest Person contest is a strange beast. Past winners (who include Nathan Brannon, Ian Karmel and Shane Torres) are all solid standup comics, but with early rounds determined by audience vote, it’s in some ways a glorified personality contest. Nevertheless, the prelims offer a chance to see a broad swath of Portland comedy, so go and balance out the votes of all those brown-nosing groupies. Semifinals will be held July 8-9, with the winner crowned July 16. Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9th Ave., 888-643-8669. Tuesdays and Wednesdays through July 2; see heliumcomedy.com for complete schedule. $10-$17.

Two Houses

An improvised romance culminating in a wedding. Brody Theater, 16 NW Broadway, 224-2227. 8 pm Saturdays through June 14. $9-$12.

Work Shmerk

All-around funnyman Jay Flewelling performs a one-man storytelling show. Directed by Caitlin Kunkel, the multimedia show finds Flewelling recounting his weirdest jobs—including counting money in an underground vault and teaching in fishing villages in Alaska—and digging into our thorny relationship with work. Nerdgirl musical duo the Doubleclicks will also perform. CoHo Theater, 2257 NW Raleigh St. 8 pm Tuesday-Wednesday, June 17-18. $10-$15.

DANCE

#GRANNYTRIGGER

Alas, the gay boat ride with insult comic queen Bianca Del Rio sold out weeks ago, but if you want to see people squirm at her racist jokes, find her on land. Opening acts include Lulu Luscious, Saturn, DieAna Dae and Aphasia. Branx, 320 SE 2nd Ave., 234-5683. 8 pm Sunday, June 15. $15 general, $40 VIP. 21+.

For this Pride edition of the event, Hot Flash Productions welcomes women, the transgender community and their friends to this dance party and show, which includes performances by drag king Emilio and fan dancer Kimikaze. Entry to Gaylabration, which immediately follows, is available for an additional charge. Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside St., 225-0047. 6 pm Saturday, June 15. $12.50-$15. 21+.

Northwest Dance Project

playwright, a folk singer—to create new pieces for its show Homegrown. Among the choreographers are artistic director Robert Guitron, dancer Kiera Brinkley and former Oregon Ballet Theatre artistic director Anne Mueller. Polaris Contemporary Dance Center, 1501 SW Taylor St., 380-5472. 7:30 pm Fridays-Saturdays, June 6-7 and 13-14; 2 pm Sundays June 8 and 15. $17.50-$25.

The Portland Ballet

Portland’s standout contemporary chamber company puts on its annual Summer Splendors show. The company resurrects two pieces from 2012, Tracey Durbin’s Atash and Gregory Dolbashian’s This is Embracing, and premieres two new works. Yin Yue, who started her own New York company in 2010 and won Northwest Dance Project’s Pretty Creatives competition last year, debuts her highenergy You Are In My Waltz. Carla Mann, a Portland choreographic staple, premieres her fifth work for the company. Northwest Dance Project Studio & Performance Center, 833 N Shaver St., 421-7434. 7:30 pm Wednesday-Saturday, June 11-14; 4 pm Sunday, June 15. $32.

The youth company performs a range of classical and modern ballet in its spring concert. The headliner is Michel Fokine’s lyrical Les Sylphides, which follows a young poet through a glen of fairies and spirits to a score by Chopin. Other pieces include George Balanchine’s Tarantella, an Italian gypsy dance, and Josie Moseley’s 3A. Essay by Hugh Gallagher, a solo work set on company dancer Devin Packard that’s based on a cheeky college essay by a young man on the cusp of adulthood. The pirate classic Pas de Trois des Odalisques from Le Corsaire and excerpts from Napoli, a graceful folk ballet, round out the program. Portland Ballet Studio, 6250 SW Capitol Highway, 452-8448. 7 pm FridaySaturday, June 13-14; 2:30 pm Saturday, June 14. $15.

Peep Show

Queerlandia

The monthly show of queer debauchery resurrects its Star Search contest, inviting performers who have yet to take the Peep Show stage to compete for $200. The Analog, 720 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 432-8079. 9:30 pm Wednesday, June 11. $5, $10 reserved seating. 21+.

Polaris Dance Theatre

Choreographers with the young contemporary company worked with a range of local musicians and writers—classical composers, a DJ, a

Clown-faced drag queen Carla Rossi hosts the performance part of the Pride dance party, now in its fourth year. The theme is Gays of Future Past, and the performers are of the radical sort. Among them: Isaiah Tillman, Pepper Pepper, Shitney Houston and Summer Seasons. Embers, 110 NW Broadway, 222-3082. 9 pm Thursday, June 12. $5 before 10 pm, $10 after. 21+.

For more Performance listings, visit

REVIEW R U SS E L L J. YO U N G P H OTO G R A P H Y

doesn’t mean the mess of costumes or the inexplicable appearance of a Star Wars comic adds any depth. As Macbeth, Jason Maniccia wears his insecurity on his sleeve as his ambitious wife urges him to kill the king and take the crown, fearfully wringing his hands as he descends into paranoia. Melissa Whitney is an intense Lady Macbeth, and she gives the audience chills when she calls on the gods to fill her with hate. But even these sincere performances can’t make up for the production’s lack of focus and other actors’ slipshod delivery of Shakespeare’s language. LAUREN TERRY. Shoebox Theater, 2110 SE 10th Ave., 971-2443740. 7:30 pm Thursdays-Saturdays and 2 pm Sundays through June 22. $20.

PERFORMANCE

Co/Mission

Usually, choreographers decide which dancers they want to perform their pieces, but in this show, dancers chose choreographers to create pieces for them. The four dancers— Suzanne Chi, Jamuna Chiarini, Jen Hackworth and Rachel Slater—have styles that fall on a spectrum of contemporary to experimental. Their choreographers are similar and include Lindsey Matheis and Franco Nieto, both of Northwest Dance Project, Linda K. Johnson and Linda Austin. Conduit Dance, 918 SW Yamhill St., Suite 401, 221-5857. 7:30 pm FridaySunday, June 13-15. $12-$15.

DICKSLAP

In addition to the performance by cherry-candy-yum-yum chola Adore Delano (which will probably begin around midnight), locals drag queen Miss “The Avatar” Inanna will grace the stage. Hosted by Shitney Houston and Carla Rossi. Party. Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison St., 239-7639. 9 pm Sunday, June 15 . $12. 21+.

Extravaganza

Drag queens nod to the old school as they stomp the runway for a $250 prize. Judges include Heklina, from that infamous Shack in San Francisco, as well as Portland’s Poison Waters and Madame Anita DuMoore. Categories include Vogue-cabulary, Butch Queen Up in Drag, Fifth Element Realness and Rich Bitch. A portion of the proceeds goes to Cascade AIDS Project. Rotture, 315 SE 3rd Ave., 2345683. 9 pm Friday, June 13. $10 in advance, $15 at the door. 21+.

Gaylabration

The Saturday night dance party is helmed by San Francisco’s DJ Tristan Jaxx, who spins a blend of visceral house, top 40 and after-hours songs. Serving as eye candy are burlesque performers Isaiah Esquire and Johnny Nuriel, hooping group Revol Artists and a posse of go-go boys. Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside St., 2250047. 10 pm Saturday, June 14. $15-$20 general, $50-$60 VIP. 21+.

THE BARD GONE BATTY: If you don’t like screaming, dancing, ugly wigs, Destiny’s Child, (fake) vomiting, audience participation or poking fun at the world’s most famous playwright, The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (Abridged) (Revised) is probably not for you. But if you do, Post5 Theatre’s third annual production of the comedy—which tears through all of the Bard’s 37 plays in 90 minutes—is a good bit of fun. Directed by Cassandra Boice, the show stars Chip Sherman, Alex Klein and Ty Boice, who all contribute some of Post5’s signature contemporary spin. “Do you bite your thumb at me, dude?” begins Romeo and Juliet, a swift seven-minute romp that includes cross-dressing, ribbon-dancing and an epilogue performed in barbershop-quartetlike vocals. The histories become rather violent football games, and Othello is a beat-boxed, laser light-illuminated rap show. Some of the jokes are a little off-color, but the cast shines with impressive flexibility and chemistry throughout, as well as an amusing willingness to laugh at themselves. Highlights include Ty Boice’s perfectly timed splash of water to the face to signify a drowning Ophelia, Sherman’s over-the-top, boa-wearing nurse in Romeo and Juliet, and Klein’s pompous air of intelligence as the narrator. “All’s well that finally ends,” one of them says, and with a reverse-order Hamlet, this year’s version of Complete Works definitely ends well. KAITIE TODD. SEE IT: The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (Abridged) (Revised) is at Milepost 5, 850 NE 81st Ave., postfivetheatre.wix.com. 7:30 pm Thursdays-Sundays through June 28. $15. Willamette Week JUNE 11, 2014 wweek.com

VISUAL ARTS

JUNE 11–17

= WW Pick. Highly recommended. By RICHARD SPEER. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit show information—including opening and closing dates, gallery address and phone number—at least two weeks in advance to: Visual Arts, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: rspeer@wweek.com.

Augen Gallery: Celebrating 35 Years of Prints

To celebrate its 35th anniversary, Augen Gallery is mounting an exhibition of prints by the same artists featured in its inaugural show back in 1979: Jim Dine, David Hockney, Roy Lichtenstein, Robert Motherwell, Frank Stella and Andy Warhol. Of these six artists, Lichtenstein’s work holds up the best. Although he’s most associated with his comics-inﬂuenced work, he actually deployed his trademark Ben-Day dots across an impressive array of stylistic periods, never letting his approach calcify the way artists such as Joan Miró did. Restlessly inventive, Lichtenstein tackled big subjects (the relationship between pop culture and ﬁne art, the legacy of Abstract Expressionism, the Asian landscape) with consistent wit and imagination. Far from a one-trick pony, Lichtenstein was an eminently responsive visual thinker, as the prints at Augen attest. Through June 28. Augen DeSoto, 716 NW Davis St., 224-8182.

metal columns hanging from the ceiling. This sculptural element not only eﬀectively showcases the paintings, it also invigorates the show spatially. Through June 28. PDX Contemporary Art, 925 NW Flanders St., 222-0063.

Sean Healy: Extroverts

To get an idea of how obsessive artist Sean Healy is, consider that for his wall sculptures American Muscle (Black Cherry) and American Muscle (Candy Apple), he meticulously lined up 28,000 cigarette ﬁlters, aﬃxed them to a Plexiglas

mounting, painted them individually, then coated them with resin. He also uses cigarette filters as the projector screen for his video installation, Smudge. The video shows a cigarette filter slowly turning into a pillar of ash—an affecting metaphor for the aging process, one of the show’s themes. Unfortunately, the piece is installed so high on the wall, some viewers may miss it. Continuing the motif, Healy uses cigarette ashes as a medium in the large-scale drawings Player, Enabler and Instigator. To the artist’s credit, his use of cigarettes never comes across as gimmicky. For him, the medium serves the message. Through Aug. 2. Elizabeth Leach Gallery, 417 NW 9th Ave., 224-0521.

For more Visual Arts listings, visit

REVIEW

Carolyn Garcia, Paula Blackwell, Esteban Hermida-Espada

Three gifted artists contribute to a slam-dunk show at Guardino. With their inspired commingling of human, plant and animal imagery, Carolyn Garcia’s acrylic and colored-pencil paintings have insouciant charm to burn. In Return to Me, she renders a starlit blue sky with a power that borders on the incantational, placing the work squarely within the tradition of magical realism. Painter Paula Blackwell excels in landscapes that seem to ﬂoat in misty sfumato, lending these encaustic works a seepy, neoImpressionist allure. Finally, Esteban Hermida-Espada’s ceramic sculptures may actually make you blush. In one multipart piece, he creates a progression of forms that suggest a clit hood being slowly peeled back. Time for a cigarette. Through June 24. Guardino Gallery, 2939 NE Alberta St., 281-9048.

Jerry Mayer and Ellen George: Stand

Jerry Mayer and Ellen George have done it again. In their collaborative installation, Stand, they’ve managed to turn a really simple idea into a richly evocative visual poetry. With nothing but gently bent cedar planks and eerie lighting, they’ve turned Nine Gallery into an abstract bamboo forest. The lights cast yellow and purple hues across the planks, lending a sense of mystery and romanticism. An ambient soundtrack heightens the otherworldly atmosphere. It seems impossible that Nine’s boxy space could feel so expansive—you get the sense you could keep walking forever, like the kids in The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. Through June 29. Nine Gallery, 122 NW 8th Ave., 227-7114.

Nell Warren: Manifest

In a satisfyingly varied show, artist Nell Warren oﬀers up a mélange of small-, medium- and large-scale paintings. One of the larger works, Upcountry, incorporates acrylic paint, watercolor, pastels, and marble dust into a masterful suggestion of water and clouds. But it’s Warren’s small works that leave the biggest impression. At only 5.5 by 9 inches, they’re installed in a grid of 294 paintings, collectively titled Consequential Artifact. Warren’s extraordinary economy of gesture combines evocative brushstrokes, vivid color and intriguing surface eﬀects. Never wanting to waste paint, she sometimes sprinkles the works with crumbled remnants of paint that dried overnight on her palette. There are even more small drawings mounted on two rusted

Willamette Week JUNE 11, 2014 wweek.com

EMANATIONS BY GREGG RENFROW

DREAM WITH YOUR EYES OPEN, GREGG RENFROW A church without pews.

You could build a new religion around Gregg Renfrow’s artwork. His abstract compositions—polymer and pigment poured onto cast-acrylic panels—are so luminous and elemental, they inspire a reverence normally reserved for deities. Each piece features a central motif roughly the shape of a rectangle, surrounded by shapes that echo its contours. They evoke the monolithic forms of millennia past: the standing stones of Britain, the heads of Easter Island, the totem, the obelisk, the altar, the phallus. These archetypes seize the eye and imagination and command both to pay obeisance. There’s something mystical or psychedelic about the echoing shapes as well; they radiate like tracers, expanding in a way that suggests vibration or movement. Renfrow is also a virtuoso of color. In Emanations, the central form grades through a brilliant continuum of sunflower, butter and lemon yellows before giving way to a twilight of cerulean, cobalt, ultramarine and aquamarine. In the piece that gives the show its title, Dream With Your Eyes Open, inky blacks yield to grays and vivid purples. Not all the pieces are so saturated, however. In Speaking and Memory of Water, the central shapes are the same color as the backgrounds, their forms suggested only by outlines on the panels or, in some cases, a second panel placed behind it. It’s as if the forms are in the process of evaporating or leaving their bodies. This suggestion of dematerialization links Renfrow not only with fellow exponents of the California Light and Space movement, such as James Turrell and Robert Irwin, but also to abstract expressionist Mark Rothko. Rothko’s mature style involved floating rectangular shapes that seemed to dissolve in a misty haze, much as Renfrow’s forms do. It’s notable that the Rothko Chapel in Houston uses paintings as a vehicle to dissolve the boundaries between light, color, form and spirit. Looking at Renfrow’s panels, it’s impossible not to imagine what they would look like lining a cathedral, like stained glass. But until that commission, we’re thrilled to see the artist’s work wherever we can find it. These magnificent works, in their way, turn any room into a temple. RICHARD SPEER.

SEE IT: Dream With Your Eyes Open is at Elizabeth Leach Gallery, 417 NW 9th Ave., 224-0521. Through June 28.

BOOKS

JUNE 11-17 ESSAY

= WW Pick. Highly recommended. By PENELOPE BASS. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit lecture or reading information at least two weeks in advance to: WORDS, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: words@wweek.com. Fax: 243-1115.

THURSDAY, JUNE 12

SATURDAY, JUNE 14

Tony Brasunas

Back Fence PDX: Russian Roulette

Tony Brasunas’ ﬁrst trip out of the United States landed him in Guangzhou, China, teaching English to 37 ninth-graders. But rather than head home after the school year, Brasunas backpacked the Silk Road to the north and into Tibet in the west, gaining friends and a heap of life experience. The result is his new book, Double Happiness: One Man’s Tale of Love, Loss and Wonder on the Long Roads of China. Broadway Books, 1714 NE Broadway, 284-1726. 7 pm.

Comics Underground

For years, Comics Underground has been highlighting the vibrant comics culture of the Paciﬁ c Northwest and bringing the medium of the comic book to life by inviting creators and giving them a mic and an overhead projector. But the end is nigh, and helping the event go out with a bang will be Matt Fraction (Hawkeye, Sex Criminals), Jeﬀ Parker ( X-Men: First Class, Aquaman), Joëlle Jones (illustrator for Helheim), Ben Dewey (Tragedy Series), Paul Tobin (Bandette, I Was the Cat with Ben Dewey) and Cat Farris (Emily and the Strangers, Flaccid Badger). Jack London Bar, 529 SW 4th Ave., 2287605. 8 pm. $5. 21+.

LitHop PDX No. 2

Combining the revelry of a pub crawl with the ingenuity of Portland ’s literary community, the second installment of LitHop PDX is the ideal event for lit lovers and casual drinkers. The literary pub crawl will host publishers and lit organizations Hawthorne Books, Eraserhead Press, Unchaste Readers, the IPRC, Publication Studio and Alice Blue Press from Seattle. Each group will then host up to nine readers, such as Tom Spanbauer, Stacey Levine, Cameron Pierce, Emily Kendal Frey, Dan Gilsdorf and Cari Luna. The result will be 54 readers in roughly 165 minutes, with each reader taking the stage for 15 minutes, along with intermittent breaks for book signing, chatting and bar-hopping. Northeast Alberta Street between 20th and 30th avenues. 7 pm. Free.

FRIDAY, JUNE 13 Rose City Used-Book Fair

With more than 40 independent booksellers gathering to sell thousands of used books, rare and collectible copies, prints and other ephemera, it’s like Christmas for avid read ers. DoubleTree Inn, 1000 NE Multnomah St., 281-6111. 2-8 pm Friday, 10 am-5 pm Saturday, June 13-14. $2, or $1 and one can of food.

Gathering to spin the terrifying (for them) and hilarious (for us) wheel o’ story prompts, the lineup of performers for this month’s Back Fence PDX: Russian Roulette will have ﬁ ve minutes to hone a completely true ﬁ ve-minute story on the given prompt. Spinning the wheel of potential humiliation will be returning champs Jessica Lee Williamson, Shannon Balcom, Emmett Montgomery, Nicole J. Georges and Sarah Mirk, taking on newbies Johanna Stein, Bill Hillmann and Jay Flewelling. Disjecta, 8371 N Interstate Ave., 286-9449. 8 pm. $15-$18. 21+.

Robot release party

Celebrating the release of his new novel, I, Slutbot, author Mykle Hansen (Help! A Bear is Eating Me!, Hooray for Death! ) will read from his tale of the ﬁ rst robotic porn star and her eventual takeover of the world. Joining him for the robot-themed evening will be Sarah Mirk (Oregon History Comics), Vince Kramer (Death Machines of Death) and comedian Phil Schallberger. There will, of course, be a robot costume contest. Gallery Homeland, 2505 SE 11th Ave., 819-9656. 7-11 pm. Free.

Tom Robbins

Disinclined to call his new book a memoir or (heaven forbid) an autobiography, Tom Robbins instead describes Tibetan Peach Pie as “a sustained narrative composed of the absolutely true stories I’ve been telling the women in my life.” Though it sounds suspiciously memoir-esque, we’ll indulge Mr. Robbins and simply think of it as a delightful stream of tangential weirdness that could only have happened to one of the country’s most beloved novelists. Powell’s Books at Cedar Hills Crossing, 3415 SW Cedar Hills Blvd., Beaverton, 2284651. 2 pm. Free.

SUNDAY, JUNE 15 Big Trouble in Little China screening and comic signing

As if the 1986 classic Big Trouble in Little China weren’t awesome enough, comic writer Eric Powell and artist Brian Churilla collaborated with director John Carpenter to continue the sci-ﬁ /Western/kung-fu tale in their new comic Big Trouble in Little China #1. Hollywood Theatre, 4122 NE Sandy Blvd., 281-4215. 7 pm. $4 comic, $10 limited print.

For more Books listings, visit

ARE YOU THERE JUDY? IT’S ME, DEBBIE. BY DEB OR A H KEN N EDY

243-2122

On June 16, literati the world over re-enact the plot of James Joyce’s Ulysses with pub crawls, marathon readings and Irish breakfasts. On June 17, former teenagers of Portland will have a similar celebration in honor of novelist Judy Blume. Part tongue-in-cheek send-up of Bloomsday, part serious-as-puberty tribute to one of America’s most beloved writers of young adult fiction, Blumesday, now in its seventh year, gives local artists a chance to express their gratitude to the author of more than 20 books for children, including Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing, Superfudge, Deenie, Blubber and Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret. Seven writers and musicians will be performing at the Secret Society at this year’s event, which in the past has featured musical numbers, a video-chat appearance by the writer herself and readings from some of Blume’s most popular and often-banned books. According to event organizer and co-creator Joanna Miller, die-hard fans all have a favorite Blume book that changed their lives. Miller’s is Starring Sally J. Freedman as Herself, Blume’s most autobiographical novel about a young Jewish girl whose family moves to Miami shortly after World War II. Mine is Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret. Allow me to explain.

It was 1987, I was 11 years old, and I was dying. What, beyond cancer of the something, could explain the waves of pain in my midsection and the blood that kept appearing in my underwear, day after day after day? For reasons that are hard to articulate now, I worked hard to hide what was happening to me. When the abdominal pain hit, I gritted my teeth and took a walk. As for my pink girl panties, bearing the prognostic brown smears of my certain demise? I rolled them up and stored them on the floor of my closet under my Barbie suitcase. My mother, ever vigilant, noticed I’d stopped eating much at dinner. “What’s wrong with you?” she asked. “She finally figured out she’s fat,” my brother said. I ignored him and shrugged. “I’m fine.” Then I excused myself to the bathroom and pulled down my pants. More blood. There was always more blood. There would always be more blood. Of that I was sure. I would bleed and bleed and bleed until there was nothing left of me but blood and bones, buried under a mile-high pile of stained, ruffled cotton. And then wouldn’t my brother be sorry? But, five days into my battle with cancer, the bleeding stopped. And when I went to my closet to gather up my underwear—I had vague plans to incinerate them in the backyard burn barrel—I found in their place a copy of Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret and a note from my mother: “Read this. I think it might help. Love, Mom.” It did help. Immensely. Immediately. In the book, Margaret Simon and her family move from Manhattan to suburban New Jersey, where she attends a new school, makes and loses friends, ponders the role of religion in her life, pines for a lawnmowing boy named Moose, and, most importantly, waits for her period to start. So that explained the blood. It wasn’t cancer. It was womanhood. I no longer felt alone. I was also sure that my plans to become a ballerina or princess or even president when I grew up were old news. I wanted to be a writer. I wanted to create something that comforted others the way Margaret’s story comforted me. It has been 26 years since I first read Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret, and it still resonates. I revisit it every other year or so, careful not to flip by the inscription, which reads, “To my mother.” Someday, when I publish my first novel, the inscription will be the same. I became a writer because of Judy Blume and Margaret Simon and my mom. I became a writer because, when I was 11 years old, two wonderful women and one insecure but hopeful girl helped me realize I wasn’t dying after all. GO: Blumesday is at the Secret Society Ballroom, 116 NE Russell St., 493-3600, on Tuesday, June 17. 8 pm. $10 in advance, $12 at door. 21+. Visit blumesday.com for more information.

Willamette Week JUNE 11, 2014 wweek.com

june 11–17 HOTSEAT

= WW Pick. Highly recommended.

MIKE SIMPSON

MOVIES

Editor: REBECCA JACOBSON. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, send screening information at least two weeks in advance to Screen, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: rjacobson@wweek.com. Fax: 243-1115.

22 Jump Street

Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum continue their bromance. In college! Screened after WW press deadlines, but look for AP Kryza’s review at wweek.com. R. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Mill Plain, Cornelius, Oak Grove, Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Hilltop, Lloyd Center, Movies on TV, Pioneer Place, Sherwood, Tigard, Wilsonville, Sandy.

Ai Weiwei: The Fake Case

B+ Ai Weiwei: The Fake Case may

warrant a quick trip to Wikipedia, at least for those uninitiated to the work of China’s most buzzed-about artist. But the film, a stark and haunting documentary helmed by Andreas Johnsen, is well worth the extra research. It opens in the wake of Ai’s 81-day detention on suspicion of tax evasion—a charge that any Chinese citizen knows is fishy—and follows the artist’s every move, from Ai’s gentle interactions with his son to enraged confrontations with government officials. Johnsen’s camera stays close to the frazzled artist, capturing each twitch of Ai’s fingers as his rights are methodically denied him. The film offers little in the way of background, and there’s not much revealed about who Ai was before the ordeal. There’s not much actual art-making, either, but the works the film does explore, like a sculpted re-creation of Ai’s prison cell, feel like natural extensions of the narrative arc. Johnsen’s not trying to make the definitive portrait of Ai Weiwei; Alison Klayman’s Sundance darling Never Sorry already did that, and Johnsen’s film feels like a stripped-down sequel to that sprawling affair. But The Fake Case is a worthy successor that stands on its own—once you’ve done your homework. TREE PALMEDO. Living Room Theaters.

The Amazing Spider-Man 2

B- When Spider-Man first swung into cinemas in 2002, his was a simpler world. But in a post-Avengers landscape, gee-whiz goofball Peter Parker has been deemed outdated, which means that in The Amazing SpiderMan 2, he’s not just sidled with great power and responsibility. He’s burdened by a cinematic universe teeming with spinoffs. Coupled with sequel-itis, that means everything must be bigger, louder and capable of feeding an endless franchise. Action-wise, that’s great. Alas, the flaws are also bigger, among them Peter’s emo angst and wedged-in plot elements that reek of franchise-building. PG-13. AP KRYZA. Movies on TV.

Bears

A nature documentary about an Alaskan family of the titular large fuzzy creatures. G. Academy, Empirical Theatre at OMSI, Kennedy School, Mt. Hood.

B+

Before You Know It

PJ Raval’s new documentary, Before You Know It, explores the challenges of growing old in the United States from an often overlooked perspective: that of LGBTQ seniors. While there have always been gay seniors in retirement homes, the generation that was young and formidable during Harvey Milk’s time in office—the first gay generation to really have its rights championed—is entering retirement and struggling to identify or hold onto its community. The film follows three seniors over the course of the past several years. As numerous states legalize gay marriage, these three men face their own struggles: One fights to keep his business afloat, one questions what the legalization of gay marriage means for him and his long-term partner, and another, Gresham resident Dennis Creamer, searches for companionship (see the Q&A with Creamer on this page). In a particularly poignant scene, one of the subjects—Ty Martin, a gay-rights activist in New York—is

the best man at his friend’s wedding. When the couple exchange vows, he tears up: happy for the legal triumph, but devastated that his own partner doesn’t want to tie the knot as well. Raval doesn’t offer solutions for discrimination against the elderly, but instead tells three carefully crafted stories that put faces to a problem that’s been in the closet for far too long. LAURA HANSON. Clinton Street Theater.

Blended

C- Adam Sandler might be the smartest person in Hollywood. Adopting the Ernest P. Worrell prototype, the “Adam Sandler goes to” model has taken the comedian and his buddies camping, to the tropics and beyond. The dude’s on permanent vacation, popping out crappy movies between naps. In Blended, Sandler hits Africa— well, a high-end resort/spa in Africa, but that’s Africa enough to allow him to pet a baby elephant and dress up a monkey as a Hooters waitress. The film re-teams Sandler and Drew Barrymore as single parents. After a disastrous first date, they end up at the same isolated resort, where a vaguely racist parody of Ladysmith Black Mambazo and humping rhinos stoke the flames of love. All the familiar Sandler beats are here, from overwrought sentimentality to a cast of weirdo, scenestealing supporting characters. The rom-com suits Sandler’s sensibilities better than recent flops like That’s My Boy and Bedtime Stories. Perhaps that’s because Sandler’s a bit more relaxed here. Of course he is: He’s on vacation. PG-13. AP KRYZA. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Forest, Movies on TV, Sandy.

Captain America: The Winter Soldier

C+ Alas, where 2011’s Captain America: The First Avenger found a dreamily compelling momentum somewhere between magical realism and newsreel propaganda, The Winter Soldier wades through thankless cameos and interminable exposition. Once again, star Chris Evans’ unaffected certitude and boyish selfregard suggest why a mortal might one day command the Marvel gods and monsters. But now his appealing mix of officer and gentleman has been reduced to frat-house moralizing. PG13. JAY HORTON. Academy, Avalon, Empirical Theater at OMSI, Kennedy School, Laurelhurst, Mt. Hood.

Chef

C- Imagine a movie written entirely by focus groups in Portland, Brooklyn and Silver Lake. In Chef, Jon Favreau plays an all-star cuisinier who’s stymied by his corporately conservative, Dustin Hoffman-owned restaurant and has a meltdown that gets posted on TMZ—but not before he gets to sleep with Scarlett Johansson! He then discovers his love for authentic cooking and his love for his own cute son by running a Cuban food cart and traveling across the country with said son and John Leguizamo, whom you didn’t even know you missed until you saw him. And everything feels so good all the time it’s like eating a cronut forever, except the cronut is a beignet because beignets are totally authentic. You know what’s also authentic? A weird product placement proclaiming Ketel One the classiest liquor ever, tweets that chirp and fly onscreen, a food blogger who sells his blog to AOL (ha!) for $10 million (double ha!), and prominent food critics announcing their visits a week in advance and then writing only about the weight gain of the chef. Also, sleeping with Sofia Vergara is obviously way more authentic than sleeping with Scarlett Johansson. Chef is likable the way your half-witted, earnest, eager-to-please cousin is likable. But over time, it’s just as tedious. R. MATTHEW KORFHAGE. Eastport, Cornelius, Movies on TV.

Willamette Week JUNE 11, 2014 wweek.com

BRIDGING THE GaP: Dennis Creamer.

TAKING PRIDE 80-YEAR-OLD DENNIS CREAMER IS FINALLY FINDING A PLACE IN THE LGBTQ COMMUNITY. BY LAu R A HA nSOn

lhanson@wweek.com

For decades, Dennis Creamer lived in the closet. A retired Air Force serviceman in north Florida, he was married to a woman he met while serving in Germany, worked as a fish and wildlife biologist and was a self-described Star Trek and space fanatic. But when his wife died in 1987, Creamer started dressing in modest pumps and turtleneck sweaters, wearing leopard-print nighties to bed, and using dating websites to find men. Creamer, who turns 81 later this month, is one of three subjects in Before You Know It, a documentary about the over-55 LGBTQ community in the U.S. (Find a review to the left.) In 2012, Creamer moved to Rainbow Vista, an LGBTQ-friendly retirement community in Gresham, where he says he’s rediscovered the companionship and happiness he lost when his wife died. Before You Know It opens Friday, June 13, at the Clinton Street Theater. On June 18, a postscreening Q&A will feature Creamer and director PJ Raval. WW spoke with Creamer about crossdressing, Gresham and gay marriage. WW: In the film, you describe having to suppress your desires to cross-dress while you were married. What was that like? Dennis Creamer: I’ve had these inclinations since I was 5. The very first time I put on a dress, I was 10. I did it because I had difficulties at school. I fought with other kids all the time. I grew up pretty alienated and felt at 10 years old that if I was a girl, I wouldn’t have to fight. To me, putting on the skirt represented escape, a feeling of freedom. I kept everything suppressed while I was married, but when my wife died, I was devastated. I felt totally lost. I remarried within a year. It only lasted six or seven months. It was a mistake on both our parts. How was your relationship with your first wife? I met her in Germany, on a train. I spoke some German, and I approached her. I was young and brash. We had a very good relationship. We fought,

but we never stayed mad at one another. After 30 years, you become very attached. If she was still alive, I’d be there. What about gay marriage? How do you feel about the ban being lifted in Oregon? I think there should be a level playing field, but I have no intention of getting married. I’m too cranky for people to put up with me. How does Portland compare to Florida? It’s a much more accepting city than Niceville, Fla. I’m much happier in Portland, especially when we have nice weather. I’ve gone to the city several times—as long as I don’t have to drive. Every time I drive, I get lost. But the bridges are something else. There’s supposed to be a trans festival next Saturday [editor’s note: The Trans Pride March starts in the North Park Blocks on Saturday, June 14, at 11:30 am]. I’m thinking about going. What will you wear? Probably wear a turtleneck, to hide all the wrinkles. I like turtleneck sweaters. I just picked up a skirt for $3.96 at Goodwill. They have codes—yellow, green, blue, purple. This one was 50 percent off. Did you have any unusual experiences while being filmed for the documentary? Once, when I was coming back from Panda Express, the film crew was walking next to me. A lady stopped her car, looked out and said, “Are these young men bothering you?” I let her know that it was for a film. “This is a film that is supposed to cover old people,” I said. I didn’t mention the gay part. Gresham is a nice little town, but it is pretty conservative. We’d probably be better off in the Pearl District. In the film, you say you your life hasn’t had an impact on anyone. Has that feeling changed? Some people have felt I was an inspiration. I’m glad to see the modern-day acceptance. Gay men can also be hostile to cross-dressers, but I just shrug my shoulders, smile at them and go. What was your favorite part of the movie? I loved the bridge scenes. I didn’t look that bad, I thought. I looked like someone’s grandma or greatgrandma on steroids, but not half bad. SEE IT: Before You Know It opens Friday at the Clinton Street Theater. A Q&A with Creamer and PJ Raval will follow the June 18 screening.

JUNE 11–17

B Chinese Puzzle is neither a puzzle

nor particularly Chinese—but apparently American Quilt was already taken. The third in Cédric Klapisch’s ebullient trilogy of beautiful French people in beautiful places, falling in and out of love—the first two were L’Auberge Espagnole (2002) and Russian Dolls (2005)—Chinese Puzzle is a somewhat more grizzled and interesting affair, if still ridiculously sunny. The character ensemble is now approaching 40 and still acting like lovesick puppies, but they are lovesick puppies with tween children and artificial inseminations and immigration problems. Audrey Tautou’s character has shed her elfin naivete for the weary romance of the familiar, while the trilogy’s oh-soemo writer hero (Romain Duris) now sees his life show up on his face in crinkles, a wan grimace, and a crisp set of divorce papers. It is a brazenly unrepentant fable of multiculti dreaminess, a bawdy sitcom whose credits will roll only when everyone’s laughing on the same side of the table. R. MATTHEW KORFHAGE. Living Room Theaters.

Cold in July

B+ The actor Michael C. Hall knows

death. He had his breakout role in Six Feet Under as the closeted son David and then went on to play the titular serial killer in Dexter. In his newest role, in Jim Mickle’s pulpy, twisty neo-noir thriller Cold in July, Hall plays a timid, mullet-sporting man so rudely introduced to death that he becomes a menacing gunslinger out for blood. Set in a sweltering East Texas town in 1989, Cold in July establishes its moody tone right from the beginning: Richard Dane (Hall) has shot and killed an intruder, which sets into action an increasingly violent chain of events. The story packs in corrupt cops, confused identities, a so-called “Dixie mafia” that makes gory snuff movies with teenage girls, and, this being the Wild West, plenty of thunder and lightning and shotgun blasts. Sam Shepard shows up as the dead man’s lean, lowering father, and Don Johnson has a gleeful turn as an unhinged pig farmer. None of it’s particularly plausible, but Mickle still makes it unpredictable, and it’s a treat to see Hall transform from a bumbling wet blanket in dad jeans— he’d be at the height of normcore fashion today—to a rifle-toting vigilante in a leather vest. REBECCA JACOBSON. Cinema 21.

Divergent

B At ﬁrst glance, Divergent would seem to be riding on the coattails of The Hunger Games. Here’s another dystopian YA novel-turnedwannabe blockbuster, with another rising star—Shailene Woodley, in for Jennifer Lawrence—at the center. But with Divergent, director Neil Burger proves there’s more than one way to ride this wave. PG-13. LAUREN TERRY. Avalon, Empirical Theater at OMSI, Indoor Twin, Milwaukie, Valley.

The Double

B It’s only right that a ﬁlm about

doppelgängers should feel eerily familiar. While loosely adapted from Dostoevsky’s novella of the same name, The Double’s attitude and aesthetics are strongly indebted to Aki Kaurismäki and Terry Gilliam, lifting the former’s deadpan absurdism and the latter’s withering view of pencil-pushers trapped in bureaucratic hamster wheels. Lowly clerk Simon James (Jesse Eisenberg) is a nonentity at his dystopian office and an object of condescending pity for co-worker Hannah (Mia Wasikowska)—until his daily routine of indignations and faint hopes is interrupted by the arrival of James Simon (Eisenberg again). Despite being physically identical to our meek protagonist, this charismatic interloper is also everything he’s not. Director Richard Ayoade’s characters are thinly sketched, with their few defining traits closer to affectations. But Eisenberg wisely takes this opportunity to forgo naturalism

for exaggerated physicality. Simon clumsily navigates the world as if it were a hostile obstacle course, while the opportunistic James conducts himself in the manner of a cartoon villain with a gargantuan appetite. R. CURTIS WOLOSCHUK. Living Room Theaters.

Edge of Tomorrow

B Watching a Tom Cruise movie

comes with the implicit understanding that the three-time Oscar nominee is most likely to play the hero and, should his character perish, he’ll receive a glorious sendoff at the end. The surprisingly absorbing Edge of Tomorrow upturns that assumption within the first 20 minutes. Cruise plays William Cage, a public-relations maven thrust into a Normandy-like battle, with the forces of our embattled planet going like lambs to the slaughter against occupying aliens. He isn’t at all prepared for war, and watching his balletic descent from a Space Age drop ship is dizzying and horrific. A few minutes after landing on the alien-infested beach, he’s dead. Then he wakes up. For convoluted reasons, Cage finds himself reliving the same 24-hour period— always ending in his own demise— ad nauseam. They say it takes 10,000 hours to truly master something, and Cage slowly becomes a master of death. The recursive conceit often seems poised to devolve into a cheap gimmick,

but, much like Cage, it consistently makes slight course corrections that keep it feeling fresh. The most striking presence here is Emily Blunt as a lionized soldier who once bore the very burden that Cage is trying to understand. Constantly reliving the same day made her a battle hero, but it also forced her to witness the death of a loved one hundreds of times. That sort of trauma doesn’t disappear when you hit the reset button. PG-13. MICHAEL NORDINE. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Mill Plain, Cornelius, Oak Grove, Movies on TV, Sandy.

Fading Gigolo

D Here’s the punch line: Woody Allen sells old men to young women. Now where’s the joke? Fading Gigolo casts Allen as a retired bookseller and unlikely pimp, enlisted by his dermatologist (Sharon Stone) to find a man so she can have a threesome with her beautiful mistress (Sofía Vergara). He’s got the perfect guy, of course: John Turturro, who plays a part-time florist named Fioravante. Turturro is, not coincidentally, also the film’s writer and director. Fioravante is reluctant and sweet, either silent or stammering and possibly a little addled in the head. Just the stuff to drive beautiful women wild. They pay money, of course, to sleep with the type of guy they’d marry only

CONT. on page 48

REVIEW SOFIA SABEL

Chinese Puzzle

MOVIES

Stay on the Edge of the Pearl. FRIENDS LIKE THESE: With a title so cocksure, We Are the Best! couldn’t be about anything other than early adolescence, those years of impetuous declarations and unshakable convictions. Swedish director Lukas Moodysson—working from a graphic novel by his wife, Coco—has crafted a wonderfully winning film that follows a trio of teen girls who form a punk band in Stockholm in 1982. Thirteen-year-old best friends Klara (Mira Grosin), a spitfire with a glue-spiked mohawk, and Bobo (Mira Barkhammar), a moody face behind round spectacles, don’t get along with the gum-smacking blond girls at school. Their gym class is basically an exercise in fascism. So when they manage to snag a rehearsal room at a community center, they take to the instruments with zeal. Not, however, with talent. That’s why they recruit fellow misfit Hedvig (Liv LeMoyne), a classical guitarist who’s ostracized for being Christian. “We’ll influence her away from God,” says Bobo. Klara agrees—punk is all about telling truth to power and helping the weak, which also explains why the band’s only song is “Hate the Sport,” a screed against those who devote themselves to athletics and give no thought to the threat of nuclear meltdown. (Sample lyric: “Children in Africa are dying/ But you’re all about balls flying.”) These embryonic stirrings of political awareness are amusing, and We Are the Best! is indeed rich with humor. But it’s also about that last gasp of childhood, and how it feels to cross into adolescence. At one point, after Bobo has accidentally cut her hand with a knife, the three girls embrace each other with an urgency known only to 13-year-olds. “I don’t want to die,” sobs Bobo. Considering that puberty is already a matter of life or death, she doesn’t sound melodramatic at all. REBECCA JACOBSON. A-

SEE IT: We Are the Best! opens Friday at Fox Tower.

Walk to Timbers Games!

Bargain Rates Downtown from $45 per night single occupancy ($55 double)

The GeorGia hoTel A Vintage Walk-Up Stroll to Powell’s, Shops, Restaurants, Theaters & Crystal Ballroom

308 SW 12th at Stark St. • 503- 227-3259 Willamette Week JUNE 11, 2014 wweek.com

JUNE 11–17

COURTESY OF MANDARIN FILMS

MOVIES

YOUNG & BEAUTIFUL for money. But luckily for a comedy without a recognizable sense of humor, it drifts into cheese-clothed, jazz-scored character study—where it fares, sadly, worse. R. MATTHEW KORFHAGE. Laurelhurst.

The Fault in Our Stars

B+ “I believe we have a choice in

22 Jump Street XD (R) 10:40AM 1:25PM 4:15PM 7:00PM 9:45PM How To Train Your Dragon 2 (PG) 11:00AM 12:20PM 1:40PM 3:05PM 4:20PM 5:45PM 7:05PM 8:25PM 9:50PM Maleficent 3D (PG) 2:40PM 8:00PM X-Men: Days Of Future Past (PG-13) 10:30AM 1:30PM 4:30PM 7:30PM How To Train Your Dragon 2 3D (PG) 10:30AM 11:40AM 1:05PM 2:20PM 3:45PM 5:05PM 6:25PM 7:50PM 9:05PM 10:35PM Maleficent (PG) 11:00AM 12:00PM 1:35PM 4:20PM 5:20PM 7:00PM 9:40PM 10:40PM Rio 2 (G) 11:10AM 4:35PM 7:15PM X-Men: Days Of Future Past 3D (PG-13) 10:30PM Million Ways To Die In The West, A (R) 10:55AM 1:50PM 4:50PM 7:45PM 10:35PM

Neighbors (R) 11:50AM 2:30PM 5:15PM 7:55PM 10:25PM Blended (PG-13) 10:45AM 1:35PM 4:35PM 7:30PM 10:20PM Heaven Is For Real (PG-13) 1:55PM 10:00PM 22 Jump Street (R) 11:35AM 2:25PM 5:10PM 8:00PM 10:45PM Edge Of Tomorrow 3D (PG-13) 11:45AM 12:45PM 2:45PM 3:45PM 5:45PM 6:45PM 8:45PM 9:45PM Godzilla (2014) 3D (PG-13) 7:25PM Godzilla (2014) (PG-13) 10:35AM 1:30PM 4:25PM 10:30PM Edge Of Tomorrow (PG-13) 10:50AM 1:45PM 4:45PM 7:45PM 10:40PM Fault In Our Stars, The (PG-13) 10:35AM 11:30AM 12:25PM 1:40PM 2:35PM 3:30PM 4:40PM 5:40PM 6:40PM 7:40PM 8:50PM 9:55PM 10:45PM

Maleficent (PG) 11:30AM 2:00PM 4:30PM 7:00PM 9:30PM Maleficent 3D (PG) 10:10AM 12:40PM 3:10PM 5:40PM 8:10PM 10:40PM X-Men: Days Of Future Past (PG-13) 10:00AM 1:05PM 4:10PM 7:15PM Million Dollar Arm (PG) 11:00AM 2:00PM X-Men: Days Of Future Past 3D (PG-13) 10:20PM Neighbors (R) 5:30PM 7:55PM 10:25PM Million Ways To Die In The West, A (R) 11:00AM 1:50PM 4:40PM 7:30PM 10:20PM How To Train Your Dragon 2 3D (PG) 11:50AM 12:45PM 2:35PM 5:20PM 8:05PM 9:00PM 10:40PM Edge Of Tomorrow 3D (PG-13) 10:55AM 1:40PM

4:25PM 7:10PM 9:55PM 22 Jump Street (R) 10:00AM 11:25AM 12:50PM 2:15PM 3:40PM 5:05PM 6:30PM 7:55PM 9:20PM 10:45PM How To Train Your Dragon 2 (PG) 10:00AM 10:55AM 1:40PM 3:30PM 4:25PM 6:15PM 7:10PM 9:55PM Edge Of Tomorrow (PG-13) 11:50AM 2:35PM 5:20PM 8:05PM 10:45PM Godzilla (2014) (PG-13) 10:00AM 7:15PM 10:20PM Godzilla (2014) 3D (PG-13) 4:10PM Fault In Our Stars, The (PG-13) 10:30AM 11:30AM 12:30PM 1:30PM 2:30PM 3:30PM 4:30PM 5:30PM 6:30PM 7:30PM 8:30PM 9:30PM 10:30PM Blended (PG-13) 1:05pm

How To Train Your Dragon 2 (PG) 10:45AM 12:35PM 1:30PM 3:20PM 4:15PM 7:00PM Maleficent 3D (PG) 12:15PM 3:00PM X-Men: Days Of Future Past (PG-13) 12:30PM 7:15PM How To Train Your Dragon 2 3D (PG) 11:40AM 2:25PM 5:10PM 6:05PM 7:55PM 8:50PM 10:40PM Neighbors (R) 5:45PM 8:30PM X-Men: Days Of Future Past 3D (PG-13) 3:50PM 10:20PM Maleficent (PG) 11:15AM 2:00PM 4:45PM 7:25PM 10:15PM Million Ways To Die In The West, A (R) 10:40AM 1:40PM 4:35PM 7:40PM 10:40PM Godzilla (2014) (PG-13) 1:45PM 4:50PM 7:45PM

Blended (PG-13) 1:35PM 7:30PM 10:35PM Chef (R) 10:55AM 1:50PM 4:45PM 7:35PM 10:25PM Heaven Is For Real (PG-13) 10:45AM 4:30PM 22 Jump Street (R) 11:00AM 12:15PM 1:50PM 3:00PM 4:40PM 6:05PM 7:30PM 8:55PM 10:20PM Fault In Our Stars, The (PG-13) 11:25AM 1:00PM 2:35PM 4:10PM 5:45PM 7:20PM 8:55PM 10:30PM Godzilla (2014) 3D (PG-13) 10:50AM 10:45PM Edge Of Tomorrow 3D (PG-13) 12:10PM 3:10PM 6:10PM 9:10PM Edge Of Tomorrow (PG-13) 10:40AM 1:40PM 4:40PM 7:40PM 10:35PM

Epic [PG] at 10am on Thursday for only $1

FRIDAY 48

Willamette Week JUNE 11, 2014 wweek.com

this world about how to tell sad stories,” says Hazel Grace Lancaster at the beginning of the film adaptation of The Fault in Our Stars. For author John Green—who wrote the novel of the same name—he approaches sad stories with wisdom, wit and a heartbreaking blow. In voice-over narrative, we are introduced to Hazel (Shailene Woodley), a 17-year-old with an unpronounceable form of lung cancer and an often cynical—she would probably call it realistic—outlook on life. When she meets fellow cancer patient Augustus Waters (Ansel Elgort) at a support group for teens with cancer, the two predictably and reluctantly fall in love. Typical rom-com moments ensue: a montage of Hazel repeatedly checking her phone, waiting for Augustus to text her for the first time; a room of people clapping after their first kiss; a fancy dinner where the waiter refers to them as “Mr. and Mrs. Waters.” But they’re self-aware This is the film’s true success: It seesaws from funny banter to talk of death and then right back to playful repartee. Woodley’s performance is unsurprisingly absorbing, but the real fun comes with Elgort’s Augustus. He exudes a wicked wit and a magnetic confidence that works with Woodley’s worldweary intelligence. You’ll probably hear people call The Fault in Our Stars “that romance movie about kids with cancer,” but really it’s a story about love and dealing with loss—and not about cancer. PG-13. KAITIE TODD. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Mill Plain, Cornelius, Living Room Theaters, Oak Grove, Movies on TV, Sandy, St. Johns Cinemas, St. Johns Theater.

Finding Vivian Maier

A- In our era of unparalleled self-

aggrandizement, it’s difficult for us to comprehend why anyone, let alone a talented artist, might choose to keep her achievements to herself. But Vivian Maier, street photographer and Chicago nanny, did just that. When she died in 2009, penniless and alone, she left behind hundreds of thousands of negatives, as well as thousands of rolls of undeveloped film. The interviews with her former employers and child charges, while fascinating and at times disturbing, can’t hold a candle to her work, which is the real star of this documentary. The photos, particularly the self-portraits, appear on the screen like mini-revelations, flashes of genius from the best photographer you’ve probably never heard of. DEBORAH KENNEDY. Living Room Theaters.

Godzilla

B Godzilla has risen from a 16-year slumber, and the big green badass is pissed. You would be too, if your more recent Hollywood incarna-

tion had robbed you of your atomic breath or made you listen to Puff Daddy. Happily, Gareth Edwards’ new take contains no Diddy ditties or Matthew Brodericks. In fact, it pretty much ignores the existence of Roland Emmerich’s disaster, serving instead as a sequel of sorts to the original 1954 classic. Those seeking a nonstop slugfest akin to Pacific Rim should temper their expectations. The film builds steadily, with Godzilla spending much of the first 90 minutes racing to fight a pair of city-destroying insectoids while humans scramble and scream. This surprising focus on the human element is perhaps the film’s only misstep. Otherwise, Edwards nails the most important aspect of any Godzilla movie: the giant lizard’s scale. For the film’s first half, we see the massive battles from the limited viewpoints of those running through the streets. Only when Godzilla’s road trip finally ends in San Francisco do we get a full-on view of the monsters trading blows—for 40 straight minutes of city-leveling bliss. PG-13. AP KRYZA. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Forest, Movies on TV.

The Grand Budapest Hotel

B+ The old, snide rejoinder to an

over-decorated show is that “you leave humming the sets,” but Wes Anderson’s The Grand Budapest Hotel may be the first movie where you come out tasting them. The titular Alpine resort is the most edible-looking lodge in cinema: a multitiered, pink-frosted castle designed to endure as an ambrosial memory. Our hero, M. Gustave, is the dapper concierge running the Grand Budapest front desk and back halls. He’s played by Ralph Fiennes with such flowery cosmopolitanism that you can almost see the cloud of cologne drifting behind him as he scurries to his next boudoir appointment with a rich dowager. I’d love to recite an ode to The Grand Budapest Hotel, because it’s the most politically aware story Anderson has told. It’s set in an imaginary Middle European country in the 1930s, at the edge of war. Its story, a silly caper, brushes against the deepest horrors of the 20th century, and ends by acknowledging irrevocable damage. Yet I can’t shake the feeling that something’s missing. Who are these beautiful visitors in The Grand Budapest Hotel? They’re meant to be ghosts, but they shouldn’t be strangers. We stick out our tongues to catch the shimmering snowflakes, and taste only air. R. AARON MESH. Cinema 21, Hollywood Theatre, Valley.

Heaven Is for Real

A based-on-truth drama, starring Greg Kinnear as a father whose son attests that he visited heaven after a near-death experience. PG. Eastport, Clackamas, Indoor Twin, Movies on TV.

Her

B+ And so there’s this computer.

It’s an artiﬁcially hyperintelligent operating system that’s half personal secretary, half therapist. It speaks in a naturalistic feminine

rasp. It seems to know you. You fall in love with her. She falls in love with you. Then she develops the capacity for jealousy. Eventually, you’re arguing about sex. She starts saying things like, “I’m becoming much more than they programmed.” Twenty years ago, this scenario would’ve played as a dystopian nightmare. But in the era of Catﬁsh, where “dating” is an increasingly abstract concept, the premise of Spike Jonze’s Her can serve as the basis for an honest-to-goodness relationship drama. R. MATTHEW SINGER. Laurelhurst.

How to Train Your Dragon 2

More animated Vikings, dragons and, scariest of all, teenagers. PG. 99W Drive-In, Bagdad, Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Mill Plain, Cornelius, Moreland, Oak Grove, Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Hilltop, Lloyd Center, Lloyd Mall, Movies on TV, Pioneer Place, Sherwood, Tigard, Wilsonville, Roseway, Sandy, St. Johns Cinemas, St. Johns Theater.

Ida

A In this black-and-white beauty

from Polish director Pawel Pawlikowski, novitiate nun Anna is a week away from taking her vows when the mother superior tells her she must pay a long-overdue visit to her aunt Wanda, her sole surviving relative. Wanda, a chain-smoking, hard-drinking communist, informs Anna that her real name is Ida and that her Jewish parents were killed during the Nazi occupation. This is just the first of the surprises in store for naive Ida, who soon sets off with Wanda on a journey to find out where their family was buried. Ida is a sweet road-trip buddy pic and a tender coming-of-age tale, while avoiding the clichéd trappings of such genres. PG-13. DEBORAH KENNEDY. Living Room Theaters.

In Bed With Ulysses

[ONE NIGHT ONLY] Accompanied by a wide variety of staged readings, archival footage and photographs, co-director and writer Alan Adelson nasally delivers a snailpaced monologue about the writing and publishing of James Joyce’s Ulysses. Clinton Street Theater. 8 pm Monday, June 16.

Jodorowsky’s Dune

A David Lynch’s 1984 adaptation

of revered sci-fi novel Dune was not his finest hour. But those B-movie explosions could have been replaced by something both surreal and visceral had midnight-movie maestro Alejandro Jodorowsky directed the story a decade earlier. Jodorowsky’s Dune tells the story of the failed production, which gained serious traction in the mid-’70s on the heels of Jodorowsky’s seminal Holy Mountain. Jodorowsky’s vision was stunning but bloated, which comes out in interviews with the spiritual director and his cast. Excitement gives way to fiasco as H.R. Giger, Pink Floyd, Orson Welles and Salvador Dalí are all recruited to the project, while the demands and the budget climb. The film is as much about the man as it is

JUNE 11–17

The Lego Movie

B+ The Lego Movie comes danger-

ously close to the pop culture-saturated Shrek model of comedy, but just when the ﬁlm starts becoming too cute, the plot shifts into another nutso action sequence ﬁlled with clever sight gags. PG. AP KRYZA. Academy, Avalon, Laurelhurst, Milwaukie, Valley.

Locke

B+ The average cinemagoer will

know Tom Hardy as the handsome Brit from Inception, or as Batman’s ultra-ripped, marble-mouthed nemesis in The Dark Knight Rises. That Tom Hardy does not appear in Locke. Arthouse buffs will best remember Hardy as the gargantuan titular sociopath in Nicolas Winding Refn’s Bronson or as the slack-jawed redneck bootlegger in the underseen Prohibition drama Lawless. That Tom Hardy is also absent in Locke. For Locke’s entire 85-minute runtime, the camera is trained exclusively on Hardy as he makes a latenight drive from Birmingham to London for the birth of his illegitimate child. So he drives, fielding call after life-changing call on his Bluetooth. He tries to calm his wife. He comforts the stranger carrying the living symbol of his infidelity. A respected construction foreman, he walks a nerve-rattled underling through preparations for the project. That’s it. Just one car, one phone, one man. Yet this is a perfect vehicle for Hardy’s staggering talents, and writer-director Steven Knight manages a strange level of tension. R. AP KRYZA. Living Room Theaters.

izes he’s facing a wicked learning curve of his own. Could it be that, as a father ﬁgure, he makes Don Draper look like Dad of the Year? That his tenant (Lake Bell) isn’t that bad-looking if he lowers his standards? That “having fun” is all that matters? We might be more inclined to buy what this insipid ﬁlm is selling if anyone on screen could manage anything more than a forced smile. PG. CURTIS WOLOSCHUK. Cedar Hills, Movies on TV.

split-second visual bits, open-mic routines, and troubling stereotypes extended to illogical conclusions. But there aren’t enough jokes, and they require an especially strong stomach, because the feces overﬂows, and overlong and misguided forays into action and romance sap any anarchic momentum. R. JAY HORTON. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Cornelius, Oak Grove, Movies on TV, Sandy.

A Million Ways to Die in the West

B While awful choices abound, the Muppets reﬂexively generate so much unsinkable goodwill that even the laziest of plots still charms—and might even be welcome, given the ’70s-meets-art deco visual aesthetic and escalating cameo bombs. PG. JAY HORTON. Academy, Kennedy School, Valley.

C+ As writer, director, producer and star of A Million Ways to Die in the West, Seth MacFarlane is all shit, no cattle. Though there is some track record of animators using the drawing board as a springboard to grander ventures, the South Park creators and Walt Disney knew their limitations. With A Million Ways, Family Guy creator MacFarlane has assembled a vanity project on par with Uncle Walt playing lead in The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes. He simply hasn’t the chops to carry the movie—a Western in which he’s cast himself as the romantic lead—and only drops the smarmy posturing when diving into boyish flirtation. He’s a continual embarrassment leading a production of this scope, and he’s hardly helped by his own direction. In a tone-deaf flourish of egotism, Macfarlane’s sheep farmer is always the smartest guy in the room and, save the women who love him (Amanda Seyfried, Charlize Theron), the most attractive. More awkwardly, he seems the toughest as well, a significant flaw for a film determined to treat its rejiggered plot with grave seriousness. Thankfully, the Western setting proves as amenable as any other for the hallmarks of MacFarlane’s wit—

Muppets Most Wanted

Neighbors

C+ For Mac (Seth Rogen), this is 30. Burdened with the crushing debt and responsibility that accompanies homeownership, he’s nevertheless perfectly content raising his infant daughter and occasionally milking—yes, milking—his wife, Kelly (Rose Byrne), in a puerile sequence that conﬁrms screenwriters Andrew J. Cohen and Brendan O’Brien as Apatow acolytes without the bother of IMDb searches. However, when a frat, ruled by hedonistic brohams Zac Efron and David Franco, moves in next door, Mac’s suburban idyll is shattered and he’s thrust into an escalating turf war. Director Nicholas Stoller manages to instill a propulsive pace to the brinksmanship, but he sacriﬁces some narrative rhythm in the process. And while Neighbors occasionally

CONT. on page 50

REVIEW COURTESY OF APPLE FILM PRODUCTIONS

the ﬁlm, portraying Jodorowsky as a relentless, Leary-esque visionary. For those uninitiated to Jodorowsky’s brand of surrealism, Jodorowsky’s Dune will wonder and amuse. For his fans, this a chance to delight in the psychedelic mastermind and what could have been his masterpiece. PG-13. MITCH LILLIE. Laurelhurst.

MOVIES

Maleficent

C+ A revisionist retelling of Disney’s

1959 Sleeping Beauty, Maleficent has a fever-dream edge and the prominent cheekbones—and intimidating beauty, and sense of physical imposition—of Angelina Jolie. In case your grasp of the source material is rusty, evil fairy Maleficent was left off the invite list to Princess Aurora’s christening, so she dooms the girl to death. But we do not believe in pure evil these days, and Disney wasn’t content to let such a single-minded villain go unconsidered. So what hardened Maleficent’s heart? Rape. The man who would be Sleeping Beauty’s father begins as Maleficent’s childhood chum and first kiss, but he drugs her and removes her wings to get a little geopolitical advantage and, ultimately, the throne. The implications are mindboggling, but Jolie only gets the chance to play a jilted lover who exacts her revenge on the most helpless of the kingdom. Abuse begets abuse. Maleficent lost her edge when she lost her wings. Unfortunately, by the time she regains her wings, her trajectory and the movie’s message have all become so muddled that, at what passes for the climax, we get a battle scene reminiscent of Catwoman—Jolie loses her skirt, gets pants, and slings chains at her erstwhile lover. It doesn’t feel like victory, though: After tiptoeing through the computer-animated tulips, it just feels forced. PG. SAUNDRA SORENSON. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, CineMagic, Mill Plain, Cornelius, Oak Grove, Movies on TV, Sandy.

Million Dollar Arm

C Staring down ﬁnancial ruin, sports agent J.B. (Mad Men’s Jon Hamm) travels to India, where he identiﬁes two cricketers with the potential to transition to baseball… and recruit a billion new fans in the process. Returning to L.A. with his prize guinea pigs, J.B. quickly real-

METTE W EE

GIVE! GUIDE 2014

WILLAMETTE WEEK'S

GHOSTS OF THE PAST: Wladyslaw Pasikowski’s Aftermath, playing as part of the NW Film Center’s 22nd annual Portland Jewish Film Festival, tracks the tension between two brothers in rural Poland. After their father dies, elder brother Franek returns from America to reunite with the younger Jozef, whom villagers have deemed insane thanks to his collection of tombstones. Specifically, the tombstones of Jews murdered during the war, whose grave markers were repurposed as roadways. Compelled by a sense of morality, Jozef takes it upon himself to collect the stones and create a proper cemetery. But with each collected monument, he accidentally uncovers more secrets about his town’s history— secrets that put him into violent conflict with his neighbors, who are filled with racist vitriol and go to horrible lengths to keep their legacies clean. (Some Polish cinemas have banned the film.) Aftermath is a horror story at heart—and a fact-inspired one—but the monsters are legacies of evil embedded in the very fabric of a community. As a mystery, it’s heartbreaking. As a drama, it’s stirring. And while its pace is a little sluggish, the rewards are worth the lulls. AP KRYZA.

2014

SKIDMORE PRIZE NOMINATIONS

NOW AVAILABLE AT GIVEGUIDE.ORG

B SEE IT: Aftermath is at the NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium, 1219 SW Park Ave. 7 pm Monday, June 16. The Portland Jewish Film Festival runs June 15-29; see nwﬁlm.org for the full schedule.

Willamette Week JUNE 11, 2014 wweek.com

JUNE 11–17

resorts to measures every bit as desperate as Mac’s, the cast rises to the lowbrow occasion. Though a number of the ﬂick’s jokes land, the sincere endorsement of embracing adulthood provides its telling blow. R. CURTIS WOLOSCHUK. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Oak Grove, Movies on TV.

New Czech Cinema

[FOUR DAYS ONLY] The NW Film Center showcases six recent films from Czech directors, including a drama about escape attempts from Auschwitz, a family film starring a teddy bear that gets lost in the woods, and a comedy that follows a smalltown opera company trying to stage Mozart’s Don Giovanni. NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium. June 12-15. See nwfilm.org for details.

Night Moves

B Kelly Reichardt isn’t from Oregon. The filmmaker was born in Florida and now lives in upstate New York. But despite her geographical remove, Reichardt has become the pre-eminent cinematic chronicler of this state. 2006’s Old Joy soaked in the thermal baths at Bagby, 2008’s Wendy and Lucy found Michelle Williams in North Portland, and in 2011’s Meek’s Cutoff, a wagon train wandered through the desiccated high desert near Burns. In her new film, Night Moves, another assured and resolutely unromantic drama, we travel the farthest south yet, to the old-growth forests by Roseburg and the Siskiyou Mountains. Jesse Eisenberg, looking only slightly awkward in Carhartts and baseball cap, plays Josh, who works on a collective farm in the foothills of those mountains. (It’s a working farm owned by friends of Jon Raymond, Reichardt’s perennial screenwriting partner and flesh-and-blood Oregonian.) But growing organic cabbage isn’t enough for Josh, so he’s plotting to blow up a hydroelectric dam with two others, played by Dakota Fanning and Peter Sarsgaard. Reichardt has always been less interested in her characters’ root motivations than in how they handle themselves moment to moment, so Night Moves draws tension from the logistical minutiae of ecoterrorism. And throughout, the attention to setting is deeply satisfying, without devolving into unthinking romanticization of Cascadian splendor. The most pointed jab is a line from Josh about a new golf course in Bend that he decries as the latest outpost of the Portland empire, what with its $8 cups of gourmet coffee and taxidermy-lined walls. His words reflect what Reichardt herself has said about Oregon, especially Portland, being overrun and expensive. She sounds almost like a native. R. REBECCA JACOBSON. Fox Tower, Hollywood Theatre.

The Other Woman

C To pass the Bechdel test a ﬁlm must present a scene featuring two women talking about something other than a man. The Other Woman would almost certainly ﬂunk. The majority of screen time is given over to a rambling conversation between our jilted protagonists (Cameron Diaz, Leslie Mann and Kate Upton) about how best to revenge themselves on the investment-banker snake who’s done them wrong. This is the comedic debut of Nick Cassavetes, heretofore known for maybe-too-precious emotive celebrations like She’s So Lovely and The Notebook. Whether simply tone-deaf to the usual beats of the genre or possessed of a truly deadpan wit, he neatly undersells the farcical brutality. PG-13. JAY HORTON. Academy, Avalon, Milwaukie, Mt. Hood, Valley.

Palo Alto

B Given James Franco’s obnoxious ubiquity, it’s tough not to see Palo Alto—a big-screen adaptation of the multihyphenate’s short-story collection—as art imitating life. But this is also the impressive directorial debut of Gia Coppola, child of the equally everywhere Coppola family. Upping the legacy ante are actors Emma Roberts (niece of Julia, daughter of Eric) and Jack Kilmer (the spitting image of his folks, Val Kilmer and Joanne Whalley), both remarkably natural in a barely there narrative

that’s more an assemblage of teenage wasteland vignettes than a coming-ofage story. That’s not an altogether bad thing. Roberts, Kilmer and Nat Wolﬀ, as a budding sociopath with shades of Franco, meander through a boozeand weed-induced haze of parties, reckless pranks and awkward encounters with their parents. For all the suburban white privilege and ennui here, Coppola’s compassion for her teens is striking, and her almost aggressively laid-back approach bucks any sense of judgment. R. AMANDA SCHURR. Cinema 21.

Rio 2

Anne Hathaway and Jesse Eisenberg voice mama and papa macaws raising a feathered brood. G. Clackamas.

The Sacrament

B- If Jim Jones were operating in the

Internet age, the tragedy at Jonestown would likely have unfolded as it does in The Sacrament, a found-footage creeper that transports the 1978 mass suicide to 2013 and adds a Vice-style documentary crew to the mix. As with the great The House of the Devil and The Innkeepers, director Ti West opts for a slow burn as a three-man crew investigates a jungle commune after its photographer receives a letter from his troubled sister (Amy Seimetz) saying she’s found heaven on earth. With a skeptical producer and cameraman in tow, the group discovers Eden Parish, where all inhabitants are enamored with the silver-tongued Father (Gene Jones) and are content to farm, pray and ignore the armed guards preventing them from leaving. If it sounds familiar, it’s because West is essentially retelling the Jonestown events beat-for-beat, from the charismatic pontification of Father to the inevitable Kool-Aid party. The sense of dread that pervades The Sacrament isn’t earned through a sneaking suspicion that something is amiss, but rather from knowing exactly the fate awaiting the men, women and children who call Eden Parish sanctuary. In lesser hands, The Sacrament would be a Lifetime movie. In West’s, it’s an effectively creepy film, but one that adds shockingly little insight to one of the most frightening real-life horror stories of modern history. G. AP KRYZA. Hollywood Theatre.

Test

B- [ONE NIGHT ONLY] Test, a new film from Chris Mason Johnson, is sort of Dirty Dancing meets Billy Elliot meets Flashdance. But unlike those dance-heavy triumphs of the human spirit, it takes itself deadly seriously. And, given that the movie is set in mid-’80s San Francisco, there is something deadly going on. Frankie, a skinny and sweet second-string dancer with a small ballet company, sees evidence of the AIDS epidemic everywhere he goes, not to mention proof of man’s inhumanity to man. Walkman headphones firmly in place, Frankie (real-life dancer Scott Marlowe) strides by a discarded mattress on which someone has taken the time to spraypaint “AIDS faggot die!” Everyone is terrified of contracting “the gay cancer,” including Frankie, whose onenight stand with an older man sends him to the clinic for a procedure so new it’s simply referred to in hushed and reverent tones as “the test.” Test is gorgeous. Sidra Bell’s choreography is hauntingly beautiful, the bodies of Marlowe and his fellow dancers are stunning, and the ’80s period details (Walkmans! Tapered, acid-washed jeans! Poster prints of elegant women in huge shoulder pads!) are perfect. The soundtrack is likewise great. But there’s something missing, namely interesting and nuanced characters to care about, and in the end it’s difficult not to compare Test to other films that address the AIDS crisis—Angels in America, of course, but also Longtime Companion and Dallas Buyers Club and Julian Schnabel’s masterpiece Before Night Falls—and give it merely a passing grade. DEBORAH KENNEDY. Clinton Street Theater. 7 pm Wednesday, June 11.

Under the Skin

B Jonathan Glazer’s sci-ﬁ/horror

hybrid stars Scarlett Johansson as

Willamette Week JUNE 11, 2014 wweek.com

a gorgeous, man-eating alien who lures dudes home with the unspoken promise of sex—only to deliver an exceptionally elegant drowning. Why ScarJo, decked out in skintight, acidwashed jeans and a Karen Carpenter wig, is compelled to take men home to one her many mirror-ﬂoored apartments is never explained beyond a creepy, 2001: A Space Odyssey-esque montage of images that includes a bloody meat conveyor belt and an exploding star. The lack of clarity is part of the ﬁlm’s appeal. But it’s also frustratingly shallow at times, and would be nothing without its otherworldly soundtrack. Prepare to be scared shitless, even as you shake your head over the story’s many twists, particularly its turn toward tenderness at the end. R. DEBORAH KENNEDY. Laurelhurst, Academy.

AP FILM STUDIES C O U R T E S Y O F WA L K E R A R T

MOVIES

Words and Pictures

C With Words and Pictures, director Fred Schepisi tries to revive the timeless debate of the pen versus the paintbrush, with an English teacher and art instructor at a Maine prep school going to war, but the unimaginative screenplay undermines the clever concept. Clive Owen plays the disgruntled English teacher, Jack Marcus. Sipping vodka from a thermos during lunch, “Mr. Mark” is a functioning alcoholic whose “fire has gone out,” in his own words. Opposite Jack is the lively new arts teacher, Ms. Dina Delsanto (Juliette Binoche), smirking through worsening rheumatoid arthritis. Ignited by their egos and bored with the school’s army of texting droids, the two teachers begin a series of exhibitions to prove their own craft’s superiority. Most of the artillery is a barrage of trite literary quotations. We hear Shakespeare, Twain, Whitman—but no refreshing turns of phrase from the screenplay itself, written by Gerald Di Pego. “Doesn’t anybody want to change the world?” cries Binoche to her students. Such shallow, one-dimensional characters don’t make for much more than insincere masks, and the film turns these two Academy Award-nominated actors into teens pretending to be drunk at their first party, enthusiastically trying to play themselves off as crazy artists. PG-13. LAUREN TERRY. Fox Tower.

X-Men: Days of Future Past

A- In the 14 years and 7 movies

since the X-Men first hit the screen, the adventures of the students and faculty of Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters have been a mixed bag, and even the best films had a difficult time balancing the over-seriousness of the subject matter with, you know, the fun that is inherent in comic books. Days of Future Past finally strikes that balance, and that’s what makes it the best of the bunch. Make no mistake, this is an adult comic-book movie: It’s violent, heady and full of historical references, creating an alternate history interwoven with real-life events. But it’s also goofy as all hell, and the first hour lets loose a barrage of playful set pieces and winking in-jokes that makes it pretty damn delightful. PG13. AP KRYZA. 99W Drive-In, Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Mill Plain, Cornelius, Oak Grove, Movies on TV, Sandy.

Young & Beautiful

B+ “Once a whore, always a whore,”

the white-haired man chortles. He’s talking to Isabelle, a 17-year-old bourgeois Parisian belle he’s just paid 500 euros for a bareback blowjob. Isabelle (Marine Vacth) has picked up prostitution as a secret hobby, for reasons never fully elucidated in François Ozon’s Young & Beautiful. As in his 2012 film, In the House, Ozon tells a story of an adolescent rebelling in unusual, dangerous ways. This is a French film, so there’s lots of Vacth’s young and nubile flesh on display, but also plenty of saggy skin on her johns. It’s an unnerving study of teenage defiance, with just enough detachment from reality and prickling bursts of humor (as when Isabelle jokes with her shrink about his low rates) to prevent it from plunging into leering melodrama. REBECCA JACOBSON. Cinema 21.

YOGA PARTY: No more fat cats.

PUSSY RIOT Coming out to play at the Internet Cat Video Fest. BY A P KRYZA

apkryza@wweek.com

I’m not a cat person. At all. The notion of loving cats was obliterated early in my life, by a brother who brainwashed me into memorizing the soundtrack to Andrew Lloyd Webber’s Cats, and by a demonic tabby that took to chewing on my face while I slept. As an adult, I’ve dated women whose ideas of romance involved vacuuming their Maine Coons and making them dance to Flo Rida. I recently inherited a long-haired Persian, and while I’ve taken a shine to the mucusseeping thing, I’m always disturbed when the missus makes me watch videos of the cat doing, well, nothing. Yet the second coming of the Walker Center’s touring Internet Cat Video Festival (Hollywood Theatre, June 13-14)—at least from what I’ve seen—is magnificent. There will be a blind kitten fighting a hair dryer. An impossibly tiny furball will giggle like a baby when tickled. Fat old cats will squeeze into boxes, or leap around fighting with superimposed lightsabers. One cat will be terrified beyond belief by Super Mario Bros. A feline in a shark costume will sit stoically atop a Roomba as, for some reason, a duck runs around it. A longhair will eat a watermelon. Slowly. And you will be hypnotized. ALSO SHOWING: Pix screens Raiders of the Lost Ark, which features surprisingly few French confections, unless you count that silky smooth Rene Belloq, whose charms literally melt faces. Or was that the wrath of God? Pix Patisserie. Dusk Wednesday, June 11. When Old Town venue Satyricon closed in 2010, Portland lost a vital piece of its musical landscape. Mike Lastra’s 2013 Madness and Glory: The History of the Satyricon pays tribute to the all-ages punk club. Clinton Street Theater. 7 pm Thursday, June 12. Mississippi Records Music & Film series returns to the Hollywood with Off the Charts, a documentary about the song-poem industry, which for seven decades has allowed people—for a nominal fee—to have their own song lyrics set to music. The film is followed by performances of lyrics submitted by Portlanders. Unfortunately, since the deadline has passed, your ode to your cat will not be heard. Hollywood Theatre. 7:30 pm Thursday, June 12. Before he was a super-ripped, city-leveling Jesus who moved in super-slow motion, Superman was, well, a not-so-ripped alien Jesus whose actions might have resulted in the destruction of Metropolis. But at least he could fly around the world backward and turn back time. 1978’s Superman: The Movie remains Clark Kent’s finest cinematic hour. Academy Theater. June 13-19. 007’s first onscreen outing, Dr. No, may not be his finest adventure (though it’s certainly up there), but it did lay the groundwork for the decades-spanning franchise. Plus, without Ursula Andress’ original emergence from the ocean in a bikini, Daniel Craig doing the same thing in Casino Royale might have really confused the ultra-macho audience. Laurelhurst Theater. June 13-19. Sixteen Candles harks back to a time when PG-rated teen comedies had boobs, f-bombs and casual racism. Playing as part of the Kiggins’ Summer of John Hughes series, it remains a glorious totem to the awkwardness of teenagers, even if it maaaybe kind of uses date rape as a punch line. Kiggins Theater. Opens June 13. John Carpenter’s Big Trouble in Little China will hopefully never get a sequel or reboot, but that doesn’t mean the adventures of Jack Burton can’t live on in comic-book form. Eric Powell and Portlander Brian Churilla will be on hand to sign copies of their comic-book adaptation. Hollywood Theatre. 7 pm Sunday, June 15.

MOVIES COURTESY OF EON PRODUCTIONS

JUNE 13–19

HONORABLE INTENTIONS: Dr. No plays June 13-19 at the Laurelhurst Theater.

Regal Lloyd Center 10 & IMAX

1510 N.E. Multnomah St. 22 JUMP STREET Fri-SatSun 11:50, 02:30, 05:10 HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON 2 Fri 12:00 DOCTOR WHO 2D PLUS WINGS 3D Mon-Tue 07:30 RIGOLETTO: MET SUMMER ENCORE Wed 07:00

Regal Lloyd Mall 8

2320 Lloyd Center Mall HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON 2 Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 12:15, 05:35 HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON 2 3D Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 02:55, 08:15

Avalon Theatre & Wunderland

3451 SE Belmont St., 503-238-1617 THE OTHER WOMAN FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 05:00, 09:30 CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 02:45, 07:10, 09:35 DIVERGENT Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 07:00 MR. PEABODY & SHERMAN Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 01:10, 03:00 THE LEGO MOVIE Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 12:45, 05:15

Bagdad Theater

3702 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 503-249-7474 HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON 2 Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 10:45, 01:30, 04:15, 07:15, 10:00

Cinema 21

616 NW 21st Ave., 503-223-4515 YOUNG & BEAUTIFUL FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 04:45, 07:00, 09:00 THE GRAND BUDAPEST HOTEL Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 04:15, 06:45, 08:45 PALO ALTO Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 07:00 COLD IN JULY Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 04:30, 09:15

Clinton Street Theater

2522 SE Clinton St., 503-238-8899 BEFORE YOU KNOW IT Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 07:00 THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW Sat 12:00 FOUND OBJECTS Sun 02:30 BLOOMSDAY JOINS ULYSSES IN BED Mon 05:00 THE GIFT OF GRAVITY Tue 07:00 PORTLAND STEW Wed 06:00

Laurelhurst Theatre & Pub

2735 E Burnside St., 503-232-5511 CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER Fri-Sat-

Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 07:00 DR. NO Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 07:15 FADING GIGOLO Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 06:45 THE RAILWAY MAN Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 06:30 UNDER THE SKIN Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 09:35 JODOROWSKY’S DUNE Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 07:00 HER Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 08:50 THE LEGO MOVIE Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 09:15 FROZEN SING-ALONG SatSun 01:30

Moreland Theatre

6712 SE Milwaukie Ave., 503-236-5257 HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON 2 Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 05:30, 08:00

Roseway Theatre

7229 NE Sandy Blvd., 503-282-2898 HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON 2 3D Fri-SatSun-Wed 10:45, 01:30, 04:30, 07:30 HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON 2 Mon-Tue 10:45, 01:30, 04:30, 07:30

St. Johns Cinemas

8704 N Lombard St., 503-286-1768 HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON 2 Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 05:30, 07:55 THE FAULT IN OUR STARS Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 06:00, 08:45

CineMagic Theatre

2021 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 503-231-7919 MALEFICENT Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 05:30, 07:40

Century 16 Eastport Plaza

4040 SE 82nd Ave., 800-326-3264-952 CHEF Fri-Sun-Mon-TueWed 10:55, 01:50, 04:45, 07:35, 10:25 GODZILLA Fri-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 01:45, 04:50, 07:45 GODZILLA 3D Fri-SunMon-Tue-Wed 10:50, 10:45 X-MEN: DAYS OF FUTURE PAST Fri-SunMon-Tue-Wed 12:30, 07:15 X-MEN: DAYS OF FUTURE PAST 3D Fri-Sun-MonTue-Wed 03:50, 10:20 BLENDED Fri-Sun-MonTue-Wed 01:35, 07:30, 10:35 MALEFICENT FriSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:15, 02:00, 04:45, 07:25, 10:15 MALEFICENT 3D Fri-SunMon-Tue-Wed 12:15, 03:00 HEAVEN IS FOR REAL FriSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 10:45, 04:30 NEIGHBORS FriSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 05:45, 08:30 A MILLION WAYS TO DIE IN THE WEST FriSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 10:40, 01:40, 04:35, 07:40, 10:40 EDGE OF TOMORROW Fri-

Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 10:40, 01:40, 04:40, 07:40, 10:35 EDGE OF TOMORROW 3D Fri-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:10, 03:10, 06:10, 09:10 THE FAULT IN OUR STARS Fri-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:25, 01:00, 02:35, 04:10, 05:45, 07:20, 08:55, 10:30 HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON 2 Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 10:45, 12:35, 01:30, 03:20, 04:15, 07:00 HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON 2 3D FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:40, 02:25, 05:10, 06:05, 07:55, 08:50, 10:40 22 JUMP STREET Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:00, 12:15, 01:50, 03:00, 04:40, 06:05, 07:30, 08:55, 10:20

THE DON JUANS Sun 04:30 FRIENDS FROM FRANCE Sun 07:00 AFTERMATH Mon 07:00 FOR A WOMAN Tue 07:00 SUPERMENSCH: THE LEGEND OF SHEP GORDON Wed 07:00 TRANSIT Wed 09:00

99 West Drive-In

8203 N Ivanhoe St., 503-249-7474-6 HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON 2 Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 03:00, 05:30, 07:55 THE FAULT IN OUR STARS Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 03:15, 06:00, 08:45

Hwy 99W, 503-538-2738 HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON 2 Fri-Sat-Sun 09:15 X-MEN: DAYS OF FUTURE PAST Fri-Sat-Sun 11:15

Kenned y School Theater

5736 NE 33rd Ave., 503-249-7474-4 BEARS Fri-Sat-Sun-Wed 12:00 MUPPETS MOST WANTED Fri-Sat-SunMon 02:30 CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 02:30, 05:30, 08:30

Empirical Theatre at OMSI

1945 SE Water Ave., 503-797-4000 MYSTERIES OF THE UNSEEN WORLD FriSat-Sun 12:00 BEARS Fri-Sat-Sun 03:00 FLYING MONSTERS 3D Fri 05:30 GREAT WHITE SHARK Fri-Sat-Sun 02:00 DINOSAURS ALIVE! 3D FriSat-Sun 01:00 CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER Fri-Sat-Sun 06:45 SEA MONSTERS 3D: A PREHISTORIC ADVENTURE Fri-Sat-Sun 11:00 JURASSIC PARK FriSun 04:30 DIVERGENT Sat 09:00

Hollywood Theatre

4122 NE Sandy Blvd., 503-281-4215 NIGHT MOVES Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 06:45, 09:00 THE GRAND BUDAPEST HOTEL FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 07:15 THE SACRAMENT Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 09:15 INTERNET CAT VIDEO FEST Fri-Sat 07:00, 09:30 BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA Sun 07:00 STATIC IV Mon 07:30 HOLLYWOOD AFTER DARK Tue 07:30

NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium 1219 SW Park Ave., 503-221-1156 HONEYMOON Fri 07:00 KOOKY Sat 02:00 COLETTE Sat 04:30 LIKE NEVER BEFORE Sat 07:30

MUSIC PG. 31

Regal Pioneer Place Stadium 6

340 SW Morrison St. 22 JUMP STREET Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 01:00, 04:00, 07:00, 10:15 HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON 2 3D Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 02:00, 09:45 HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON 2 Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 04:45, 07:30

St. Johns Theater

Acad emy Theater

7818 SE Stark St., 503-252-0500 THE OTHER WOMAN FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 07:00 THE RAILWAY MAN Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 01:55, 07:15 BEARS FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:10 CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 01:15, 04:00, 06:45, 09:30 UNDER THE SKIN Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 09:40 MUPPETS MOST WANTED Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 02:10, 04:35 THE LEGO MOVIE Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:00 SUPERMAN: THE MOVIE Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 04:20, 09:20

Living Room Theaters

341 SW 10th Ave., 971-222-2010 AI WEIWEI: THE FAKE CASE Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 12:10, 02:40, 05:00, 07:15, 09:15 CHINESE PUZZLE Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 04:30, 09:00 FINDING VIVIAN MAIER Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 02:30, 07:00 IDA Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:45, 02:00, 04:00, 06:00, 07:55, 09:45 LOCKE FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:30, 05:30, 09:50 THE DOUBLE Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 11:55, 03:00, 07:45 THE FAULT IN OUR STARS Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 11:50, 12:20, 01:35, 02:50, 04:10, 05:10, 07:30, 10:00 SUBJECT TO CHANGE. CALL THEATERS OR VISIT WWEEK.COM/MOVIETIMES FOR THE MOST UP-TO-DATE INFORMATION FRIDAY-THURSDAY, JUNE 13-19, UNLESS OTHERWISE INDICATED

STREET PG. 25 Willamette Week JUNE 11, 2014 wweek.com

CLASSIFIEDS DIRECTORY 52

WELLNESS

BULLETIN BOARD

REAL ESTATE

JOBS

SERVICES

MUSICIANS’ MARKET

54 MATCHMAKER

TO PLACE AN AD CONTACT:

MATT PLAMBECK

STUFF

MOTOR

54 JONESIN’

JUNE 11, 2014

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY

BACK COVER CONTINTUED

503-445-2757 • mplambeck@wweek.com

WELLNESS

MISCELLANEOUS

Changing the image of rescue, one animal at a time... Interested in adopting from the Pixie Project CALL 503.542.3433

VIAGRA 100MG, CIALIS 20MG 40 Pills + 4 FREE for only $99. #1 Male Enhancement! Discreet Shipping. Save $500. Buy the Blue Pill Now! 1-800-404-1271

HYPNOSIS

SUPPORT GROUPS

SERVICE DIRECTORY

30-MINUTE FRE MASSAGE FOR NEW CLIENTS WITH OPTION TO UPGRADE TO 60, 90 OR 120 MINUTES Jerry Wilk, Jr. is a licensed massage therapist and medical professional. He specializes in offering massage to people who work in the financial sector and experience headaches due to stress. Call Office Break Massage at 360.910.1840 *Pearl District Office* #14645

HOME TREE SERVICE NE Steve Greenberg Tree Service

MEN’S HEALTH MANSCAPING Bodyhair grooming M4M. Discrete quality service. 503-841-0385 by appointment.

1925 NE 61st Ave. Portland, Oregon 97213 503-774-4103

2510 NE Sandy Blvd Portland, Or 97232 503-969-3134 www.atomicauto.biz

Weight Mastery Stress Relief Spiritual Insight Smoking Cessation Procrastination Self Esteem Past Life

WILLAMETTE WEEK’S GATHERING PLACE NON-PROFIT DISCOUNTS AVAILABLE.

ADOPTION PREGNANT? THINKING OF ADOPTION? Talk with caring agency specializing in matching Birthmothers with Families Nationwide. LIVING EXPENSES PAID. Call 24/7 Abby’s One True Gift Adoptions. 866-413-6293.

LESSONS

FOLLOW @WWE E K ON T WIT TER

How to advertise in WWeek’s Classifieds what you want 1. Write your ad to say 2. Mail your ad to

RENTALS ROOMMATE SERVICES ALL AREAS - ROOMMATES.COM. Browse hundreds of online listings with photos and maps. Find your roommate with a click of the mouse! Visit: www.Roommates.com. (AAN CAN)

BULLETIN BOARD STUFF

AUTO COLLISION REPAIR NE Atomic Auto

FEELING POLYAMOROUS? OR JUST POLY-CURIOUS POLYAMORY CIRCLE CALL LAURY 503-285-4848

CLASSICAL PIANO/ KEYBOARD THEORY. PERFORMANCE. ALL AGES. PARTY ENTERTAINMENT PORTLAND 503-227-6557

MASSAGE (LICENSED)

call

Charles

503-740-5120

lmt#6250

www.rosecitywellnesscenter.com

www.petsonbroadway.com

HOME FURNISHING

BEDTIME

TWINS

MATTRESS

COMPANY

FULL $ 89 (503)

QUEEN

109

760-1598

7353 SE 92nd Ave Mon-Fri 9-5, Sat 10-2

Custom Sizes » Made To Order Financing Available

FELIX

ORLANDO S P O NSO R ED BY

SPO N SO RE D BY

naturespetmarket.com

www.antoinettejewelry.com

MOTOR CASH FOR CARS: Any Car/Truck. Running or Not! Top Dollar Paid. We Come To You! Call For Instant Offer: 1-888-4203808 www.cash4car.com

ALTERNATIVE MEDICINE

OMMP Resourcee Center Providing Safe Access Acce to Medicine HAMPTON

mplambeck@wweek.com

HARLEY

S P O NSO R ED BY

3. Recieve a price quote to price 4. Agree and schedule 5. Profit!!!

Valid MMJ Card No Membership Holders Only Dues or Door Fees “Simply the Best Meds” 3821 NE MLK Jr. Blvd. • (503) 384-2251 • www.rosecitywellnesscenter.com TOTALLY RELAXING MASSAGE Featuring Swedish, deep tissue and sports techniques by a male therapist. Conveniently located, affordable, and preferring male clientele at this time. #5968 By appointment Tim 503.575.0356

SIDNEY S P O NSO R ED BY

AUTOS WANTED

REL A X!

INDULGE YOURSELF in an - AWESOME FULL BODY MASSAGE

WALDO S P O NSO R ED BY

Week Classiﬁeds JUNE 11, 2014 wweek.com

S P O NSO R ED BY

www.rosecitywellnesscenter.com

If you or your business would like to sponsor a pet in one of our upcoming Pet Showcases, contact:

MORE CLASSIFIEDS ONLINE @ WWEEK.COM

MATT PLAMBECK 503-445-2757

TO PLACE AN AD CONTACT:

MATT PLAMBECK

Week of June 12

JOBS

MUSICIANS MARKET

EMPLOYMENT OPPORTUNITIES ARIES (March 21-April 19): In its quest for nectar, a hummingbird sips from a thousand flowers every day. As it flaps its wings 70 times a second, zipping from meal to meal, it can fly sideways, backward, or forward. If it so desires, it can also hover or glide upside-down. It remembers every flower it visits, and knows how long it will take before each flower will produce a new batch of nectar. To some Spanish speakers, hummingbirds are known as joyas voladoras, or “flying jewels.” Now take everything I’ve just said, Aries, and use it as a metaphor for who you can be in the coming week. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): In 1947, the impossibly wealthy Duke of Windsor went shopping in Paris to buy a gift for his wife, the Duchess. She already had everything she wanted, so he decided to get creative. He commissioned the luxury-goods manufacturer Hermes to build her a high-fashion black leather wheelbarrow. I am not urging you to acquire something like that for yourself, Taurus. But I do like it as a symbol for what you need in your life right now: a blend of elegance and usefulness, of playful beauty and practical value, of artistry and hard work. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Your brain absorbs about 11 million pieces of information every second, but is consciously aware of less than .001 percent of all that richness. Or at least that’s usually the case. Having analyzed your astrological omens, I suspect that you might soon jack that figure up as high as .01 percent -- a ten-fold increase! Do you think you can handle that much raw input? Are you amenable to being so acutely perceptive? How will you respond if the world is a ten times more vivid than usual? I’m pretty confident. I suspect you won’t become a bug-eyed maniac freaking out on the intensity, but rather will be a soulful, wonder-filled explorer in love with the intensity. CANCER (June 21-July 22): You have a strong, intricate understanding of where you have come from. The old days and old ways continue to feed you with their mysterious poignancy. You don’t love every one of your past experiences, but you love ruminating about them and feeling the way they changed you. Until the day you die many years from now, your history will keep evolving, providing an endless stream of new teachings. And yet at this particular moment in your destiny, Cancerian, I think your most important task is to focus on where you are going to. That’s why I urge you to temporarily forget everything you think you know about your past and instead concentrate on getting excited about the future. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): In 1928, Bobby Pearce won a gold medal in rowing at the Summer Olympics in Amsterdam. An unforeseen event almost sabotaged his victory. As he rowed his boat along the Sloten Canal, a family of ducks swam leisurely from shore to shore directly across his path. He stopped to let them pass, allowing an opponent who was already ahead of him to gain an even bigger advantage. Yet he ultimately won the race, rowing with such vigor after the duck incident that he finished well ahead of his challenger. I foresee a comparable sequence in your life, Leo. Being thoughtful and expressing compassion may seem to slow you down, but in the end that won’t hinder you from achieving your goal -and may even help. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): In one of her “Twenty-One Love Poems,” Adrienne Rich talks about her old self in the third person. “The woman who cherished / her suffering is dead. I am her descendant. / I love the scar tissue she handed on to me, / but I want to go from here with you / fighting the temptation to make a career of pain.” With your approval, Virgo, I’d like to make that passage one of your keynotes in the coming months. According to my analysis of the astrological omens, you will have an excellent opportunity to declare your independence from an affliction you’ve been addicted to. Are you willing to say goodbye to one of your signature forms of suffering? LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): “You should be interviewing roses not people,” says a character in Anne Carson’s book The Autobiography Of Red. That’s sound poetic advice for you in the coming days, Libra. More than you

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Novelist Herman Melville wrote that in order to create art, “unlike things must meet and mate.” Like what? “Sad patience” and “joyous energies,” for example; both of them are necessary, he said. “Instinct and study” are crucial ingredients, as well as humility and pride, audacity and reverence, and “a flame to melt” and a “wind to freeze.” Based on my interpretation of the astrological omens, Sagittarius, I believe you will soon need to meld opposites like these as you shape that supreme work of art -- your life. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Haggis is a Scottish pudding. According to the gourmet food encyclopedia Larousse Gastronomique, it has “an excellent nutty texture and delicious savory flavor.” And yet, to be honest, its ingredients don’t sound promising. To make it, you gather the lungs, liver, small intestine, and heart of a sheep, put all of that stuff inside the stomach of the sheep along with oatmeal, onions, salt, and suet, and then simmer the whole mess for three hours. I’m guessing that your work in the coming week may have a certain metaphorical resemblance to making haggis, Capricorn. The process could a bit icky, but the result should be pretty tasty.

FOR FREE ADS in 'Musicians Wanted,' 'Musicians Available' & 'Instruments for Sale' go to portland.backpage.com and submit ads online. Ads taken over the phone in these categories cost $5.

INSTRUMENTS FOR SALE

can imagine, you will benefit from being receptive to and learning from non-human sources: roses, cats, dogs, spiders, horses, songbirds, butterflies, trees, rivers, the wind, the moon, and any other intelligences that make themselves available to you. I’m not saying you should ignore the revelations offered by people. But your emphasis should be on gathering in wisdom from life forces that don’t communicate with words. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): William Shockley was a Nobel Prize-winning physicist who co-invented the transistor. He also helped launch the revolution in information technology, and has been called “the man who brought silicon to Silicon Valley.” Time magazine named him one of the hundred most influential people of the 20th century. On the other hand, Shockley became a controversial advocate of eugenics, which damaged his reputation, led many to consider him a racist, and played a role in his estrangement from his friends and family. I suspect that you will have to deal with at least one Shockley-type phenomenon in the coming weeks, Scorpio. Will you overlook the bad stuff in order to take advantage of the good? Should you?

BUILDING/REMODELING

TRADEUPMUSIC.COM Buying, selling, instruments of every shape and size. Open 11am-7pm every day. 4701 SE Division & 1834 NE Alberta.

MUSIC LESSONS

503.227.1098

LEARN PIANO ALL STYLES, LEVELS With 2 time Grammy winner Peter Boe. 503-274-8727.

$1,000 WEEKLY!! MAILING BROCHURES FROM HOME Helping home workers since 2001. Genuine Opportunity. No Experience required. Start Immediately www.mailingmembers. com AFRICA, BRAZIL WORK/STUDY! Change the lives of others while creating a sustainable future. 6, 9, 18 month programs available. Apply today! www.OneWorldCenter.org (269) 591-0518 info@OneWorldCenter.org

SERVICES

GENERAL

CLEANING

PERSONAL SERVICES KARA AT THE NATIONAL BEAUTY For facial threading , brow and lash tinting, facials , lash extensions 815 SW Alder, above Johnny Soles 503.875.3666 thenationalbeauty.com

AIRLINE CAREERS begin here Get trained as FAA certified Aviation Technician. Housing and Financial aid for qualified students. Job placement assistance. Call Aviation Institute of Maintenance 877-725-1563 (AAN CAN)

LAWN SERVICES BERNHARD’S Residential, Commercial and Rentals. Complete yard care, 20 years. 503-515-9803. Licensed and Insured.

HOSPITALITY/RESTAURANT

TREE SERVICES

RUBY SPA AT THE GRAND LODGE IN FOREST GROVE

STEVE GREENBERG TREE SERVICE Pruning and removals, stump grinding. 24-hour emergency service. Licensed/ Insured. CCB#67024. Free estimates. 503-284-2077

is now hiring LMTs & Hair Stylists! Qualified apps must have an open & flex sched including, days, eves, wknds and holidays. We are looking for applicants who enjoy working in a busy customer service-oriented enviro. We offer opps for advancement and excellent benefits for eligible employees, including vision, med, chiro, dental and so much more! Please apply online 24/7 at www.mcmenamins.com or pick up a paper app at any McMenamins location. Mail to 430 N. Killingsworth, Portland OR, 97217 or fax: 503-221-8749. Call 503-952-0598 for info on other ways to apply. Please no phone calls or emails to individ locs! E.O.E.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Almost a hundred years ago, world-famous comedian Charlie Chaplin decided to take part in a Charlie Chaplin lookalike contest in San Francisco. He did his best to imitate himself, but it wasn’t good enough. He didn’t come close to winning. But I think you would have a different fate if you entered a comparable competition in the coming weeks. There’s no question in my mind that you would be crowned as the person who most resembles you. Maybe more than ever before, you are completely yourself. You look like your true self, you feel like your true self, and you are acting like your true self. Congratulations! It’s hard work to be so authentic. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): “The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease,” said French philosopher Francois-Marie Voltaire. That principle will be useful for you to invoke in the coming weeks. You definitely need to be cured, although the “disease” you are suffering from is primarily psychospiritual rather than strictly physical. Your task will be to flood yourself with fun adventures, engaging stories, and playtime diversions so that nature can heal you without the interference of your worries and kibitzing.

Homework Imagine your future self has sent a message to you back through time. What is it? Write: uaregod@comcast.net.

check out Rob Brezsny’s Expanded Weekly Audio Horoscopes & Daily Text Message Horoscopes

Looking for an exciting, fun work environment? McMenamins is now hiring at most locations, multiple positions available and range from entry level to management. We have both seasonal and long term opportunities. Qualified apps must have an open & flex sched including, days, eves, wknds and holidays. We are looking for applicants who enjoy working in a busy customer service-oriented enviro. We offer opps for advancement and excellent benefits for eligible employees, including vision, med, chiro, dental and so much more! Please apply online 24/7 at www.mcmenamins.com or pick up a paper app at any McMenamins location. Mail to 430 N. Killingsworth, Portland OR, 97217 or fax: 503-221-8749. Call 503-952-0598 for info on other ways to apply. Please no phone calls or emails to individ locs! E.O.E.

freewillastrology.com

The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at

1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700

we’ve got the job for you

wweek.com

Willamette Week Classifieds JUNE 11, 2014 wweek.com

TO PLACE AN AD CONTACT:

MATT PLAMBECK

503-445-2757 • mplambeck@wweek.com

CHATLINES

Find your Flame on

Jonesin’

by Matt Jones

“Late to the Movies”--dang, missed the first two parts.

LiveMatch

54 “Dreamgirls” character ___ White (hidden in SHEFFIELD) 57 Michael Jackson hit off “Thriller” 58 Movie that follows an unwelcome school outbreak? 63 David Allan ___ 64 Take the penalty 65 Pearl gatherer 66 Alpine country, for short 67 Abalone-shell liner 68 Swordfight souvenirs

TRY IT FREE!

Free CHATROOMS & FORUMS

Portland 503-222-CHAT (2428) Vancouver 360-314-CHAT

Seattle 206-753-CHAT • Tacoma 253-359-CHAT • Everett 425-405-CHAT

or WEB PHONE on LiveMatch.com

MAN to MAN

Free group chatrooms 24/7! 503-222-CHAT

ADULT DVDs START AT $5!!! Hundreds of Fetish DVDS! Unprintable specialties! Classic Adult Stars! Something for everyone! (adults only) B A VIDEO 3201 SE MILWAUKIE 503 752 3154

Across 1 Cartoon character with blond hair 6 Glove material 11 2002 Olympics host, briefly 14 Bush Supreme Court appointee 15 Central Florida city 16 When doubled, a guitar effect 17 Movie about a road trip spent filling up the car? 19 End of a tongue? 20 Former Turkish title

21 Constricted 23 $, for short 24 “Father of Modern Philosophy” Descartes 28 For-profit university founded in 1931 29 Movie that clears up why Brits pronounce a letter differently? 33 Wired component? 34 Prefix before hedron or gon 35 Conductor ___-Pekka Salonen

36 Movie about booting the laptop again? 39 Flatow who hosts NPR’s “Science Friday” 41 Coffee coast of Hawaii 42 “Stop, matey!” 46 Movie focusing on flies in the ointment? 49 “Good Times” actress Esther 50 A long, long time 51 With it 52 Patronize, as a hotel

Down 1 “Macbeth” trio member 2 Goes by 3 Totals the total? 4 Rides for the back country, for short 5 2014 Russell Crowe epic 6 Hawaii’s Mauna ___ 7 Get busy 8 Mai ___ (bar order) 9 SpaceX CEO Musk 10 1980 hit for Olivia Newton-John 11 Yanks the wheel 12 Former Dodgers manager Tommy 13 Granola bar option 18 “Is this your ___?” 22 Set aside 23 “Miami Vice” weapon 25 Transition zone between two plant communities

ENTERTAINMENT

CHATLINE TM

503.416.7098

Try for FREE

Ahora en Español

For More Local Numbers: 1.800.926.6000

www.livelinks.com Week Classifieds JUNE 11, 2014 wweek.com

last week’s answers

©2014 Jonesin’ Crosswords (editor@jonesincrosswords.com) For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle #JONZ679.

REAL PEOPLE REAL DESIRE REAL FUN

26 “Sorry, that’s impossible” 27 Get on board 30 With respect to hearing 31 Born with the name of 32 Like some chances 37 Calypso cousin 38 ___ in “Edward” 39 “Copy that” 40 Tells, as a story 43 Ambitioussounding Oldsmobile model 44 Stanley ___ (rental carpet cleaner brand) 45 Unit of meas. that’s often leveled 47 Close up securely 48 Fraction of a fraction of a min. 49 UK humane org. (anagram of CRAPS) 53 Funny Fey 55 Passing crazes 56 Abbr. in a bank window 59 300, in Roman numerals 60 Afr. neighbor 61 “___ you for real?” 62 1999 and 2015

Teligence/18+

wweekdotcom wweekdotcom wweekdotcom

TO PLACE AN AD CONTACT:

MATT PLAMBECK

503-445-2757 • mplambeck@wweek.com

BACK COVER CONTINUED...

Try a Little

® TENDERNESS Save 67%

TO PLACE AN AD ON BACK COVER CONTINUED call 503-445-2757

on Omaha Steaks

Locally Owned & Operated Since 2001

Perfect For

FATHER’S DAY

Fresh, local produce, from area farms

Convenient & Flexible, Pay as you go, Lots of options, home/office delivery 503-236-6496 • 2030 N. Williams

organicstoyou.org

The Favorite Gift 2 (5 oz.) Filet Mignons 2 (5 oz.) Top Sirloins 4 (4 oz.) Boneless Pork Chops 4 (4 oz.) Omaha Steaks Burgers 4 Stuffed Baked Potatoes 4 Caramel Apple Tartlets

Red Velvet 5inch Ja Civas cake with pretty red rose caketop Sale $35 Promo code REDVEL

49377DJT

Delivery anywhere in the Portland Metro area!

Reg $154.00 | Now Only...

4999

PLUS, 4 More

Burgers

FREE!

Limit 2 of each selection at these special prices. Your 4 (4 oz.) burgers will ship free per address and must ship with The Favorite Gift (49377). Not valid with other offers. Standard S&H will be applied per address. Expires 6/30/14.

Portland Florist Shop • Portland Bakery Delivery 11807 NE Glisan, Portland • 503-257-9165 portlandfloristshop.com

Call 1-800-418-0821 and ask for 49377DJT

www.OmahaSteaks.com/mbdad77

ww presents

I M A D E T HIS

“Clash of Titans” by Julie Forbes $350 ReverbArt@aol.com | www.ReverbArt@tumblr.com | 503-477-8888 Submit your art to be featured in Willamette Week’s I Made This. For submission guidelines go to wweek.com/imadethis

Willamette Week Classifieds JUNE 11, 2014 wweek.com

BACK COVER

TO ADVERTISE ON WILLAMETTE WEEK’S BACK COVER CALL 503-445-2757

BANKRUPTCY

Do you want to be debt free? Call Now: 503-808-9032 FREE Consultation. Payment Plans. Scott Hutchinson, Attorney www.Hutchinson-Law.com

$Cash for Junk Vehicles$

Ask for Steve. 503-936-5923 Licensed/Bonded/Insured

Have a novel, need an agent?

COME VISIT OUR BOOTH AT THE PRIDE FESTIVAL! 10% Tues for Q Center

EXPLORING BURLESQUE: STRIPTEASE SALON / WED, JUNE 18 - 7:30 - $20 BEYOND MONOGAMY / THURS, JULY 17 - 7:30 - $20 FULL-BODIED FELLATIO / THURS, AUGUST 7 - 7:30 - $20 BACK THAT ASS UP!: ANAL SEX 101 / WED, AUG 20 - 7:30 - $20 SHEBOPTHESHOP.COM 909 N BEECH STREET, HISTORIC MISSISSIPPI DISTRICT 503-473-8018 SU-TH 11–7, FR–SA 11–8

Check out the Willamette Writers conference, Aug 1-3rd, Portland; meet author Hallie Ephron & Hollywood producers; Diana Gabaldon (Outlander), keynote. willamettewriters.com/wwcon

Mt.Tabor Guitar Studio 4 lessons $50 503-810-2495

North West Hydroponic R&R

We Buy, Sell, & Trade New & Used Hydroponic Equipment. 503-747-3624

SUBOXONE

Program, Off Max near Clackamas Town Center 503-902-1105 Dr. Ray Tangredi Psychiatry/Addiction Initial 30 Minute Consultation Free

WHERE SINGLES MEET Browse & Reply FREE! 503-299-9911 Use FREE Code 2557, 18+

Eskrima Classes

Personal weapon & street defense www.nwfighting.com or 503-740-2666

20% Off Any Smoking Apparatus With This Ad! BUY LOCAL, BUY AMERICAN, BUY MARY JANES Glass Pipes, Vaporizers, Incense & Candles

7219 NE Hwy. 99, Suite 109 Vancouver, WA 98665

(360) 735-5913 212 N.E. 164th #19 Vancouver, WA 98684

(360) 514-8494

1425 NW 23rd Portland, OR 97210 (503) 841-5751

6913 E. Fourth Plain Vancouver, WA 98661

AA HYDROPONICS

9966 SW Arctic Drive, Beaverton 9220 SE Stark Street, Portland American Agriculture ï americanag.com PDX 503-256-2400 BVT 503-641-3500

CASH FOR INSTRUMENTS

Hippie Goddess

JiuJitsu

Improv,Standup,Sketch Writing Now Enrolling The Brody Theater, 503-233-2227 www.brodytheater.com

Ground defense under black belt instruction. www.nwfighting.com or 503-740-2666

Need Cuddle Therapy?

Nurturing, non-sexual, therapeutic cuddling in close-in SE, $60/hr. TeamCuddlePDX.com 503-862-9046

$$$ CASH FOR DIABETIC TEST STRIPS $$$ Paying up to $30/box. Help those who can’t afford insurance. Free pickup in SW WA and Portland Metro. Call 360-693-0185

Vancouver, WA 98664

(360) 213-1011

1156 Commerce Ave Longview Wa 98632

(360) 695-7773 (360) 577-4204 Not valid with any other offer

Tradeupmusic.com SE 503-236-8800 NE 503-335-8800

Females 18+. Natural, Fit Bodies. Creative outdoor shoots for Hippiegoddess.com. $400-$600. 503-449-5341 Emma

8312 E. Mill Plain Blvd

• Huge Discounts on Super Fun Kites • Banner/Pole/ Bracket Combo Kits

1825 E Street

Washougal, WA 98671

(360) 844-5779

Oregon Medical Marijuana Patient Resource Center *971-255-1456* 1310 SE 7TH AVE Open 7 Days www.ommpResourceCenter.com

Stop Garnishment Now

Comedy Classes

Guitar Lessons

Personalized instruction for over 15yrs. www.danielnoland.com 503-546-3137

Opiate Treatment Program

Evening outpatient treatment program with suboxone. CRCHealth/Dr. Jim Thayer, Addiction Medicine http://belmont.crchealth.com 1-800-797-6237

Bankruptcy - Tax - Tenants Payment Plans Sliding-Scale NONPROFIT Attorneys 503-208-4079

UKULELE PLAYERS

Win a hand-build ukulele in our raffle! Oakridge Ukulele Festival 8/1-3 oakridge-lodge.com/events

NOW HIRING! LEGALIZE MARIJUANA IN OREGON!

OMMP CARDHOLDERS GET 25% DISCOUNT!

Quick fix synthetic urine now available. Your hookah headquarters. Vapes. E-cigs, glass pipes, discount tobacco, detox products, salvia and kratom Still Smokin’ Tobacco For Less 12302 SE Powell 503-762-4219

Earn $14 per hour For more information, please call

NO FUNDRAISING REQUIRED

W W E E K D OT C O M

Field Organizer $12.25/Hour ORGANIZING

JOBS New Downtown Location! 1501 SW Broadway www.mellowmood.com

4119 SE Hawthorne, Portland ph: 503-235-PIPE (7473)

503 235 1035

Field Manager $17.00/Hour

(503) 303-8546

Medical Marijuana

card Services clinic

APPLY NOW 503.224.1004

503-384-Weed (9333) www.mmcsclinic.com 4911 NE Sandy Blvd, Portland • open 7 days

Pizza Delivery

Until 4AM!