41 20 willamette week, march 18, 2015 by Willamette Week Newspaper

NEWS PORTLAND OUT OF GATEWAY—NOW! DESIGN DEAN MARRIOTT’S SEWER PALACE. WEED A SMOOTH WHITE WIDOW PHENOTYPE.

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p. 31 p. 52

WILLAMETTE WEEK PORTLAND’S NEWSWEEKLY

“I’VE SPENT FIVE YEARS BEING SMELLY IN THE CITY.”

LIVING CHEAP AND WELL IN PORTLAND: $1 BEERS, $1 BOWLING AND THE $20 ONEHOUR MASSAGE. Page 12

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VOL 41/20 03.18.2015

Willamette Week MARCH 18, 2015 wweek.com

CHRISTINE DONG

FINDINGS

PAGE 10

WHAT WE LEARNED FROM READING THIS WEEK’S PAPER VOL. 41, ISSUE 20.

Oregon is set to honor a Republican with his own special day. 6

If you want to do your laundry at 4 am on Tuesday morning, there is a place. 18

At Wilson High School, the girls’ and boys’ basketball teams are “equal” but keep their separate schedules. 10

A brave little orca whale once

East Portland—28 percent of the city’s population living in roughly 20 percent of the city’s area and paying 20 percent of its taxes—has only two police oﬃcers on patrol at midnight. 11

ON THE COVER:

swam all the way up the Columbia River into Portland city limits. 27 The city of Portland’s fanciest oﬃce building pretty much looks

like a Design Within Reach catalog come to life. 31 Yes, Mad TV aired those Stuart sketches for a full decade. 44

OUR MOST TRAFFICKED STORY ONLINE THIS WEEK:

Piggy bank, photograph by Will Corwin.

U.S. Attorney Amanda Marshall did not heed the words of Beyoncé and Lady Gaga regarding t-ttelephones.

STAFF Editor-in-Chief Mark Zusman EDITORIAL Managing Editor for News Brent Walth Arts & Culture Editor Martin Cizmar Staff Writers Nigel Jaquiss, Aaron Mesh, Beth Slovic Copy Chief Rob Fernas Copy Editors Matt Buckingham, James Yu Stage & Screen Editor Enid Spitz Web & Projects Editor Matthew Korfhage Music Editor Matthew Singer Books Penelope Bass Dance Kaitie Todd

Visual Arts Richard Speer Editorial Interns Lucas Chemotti, Parker Hall, Anthony Macuk, Anna Walters CONTRIBUTORS Dave Cantor, Nathan Carson, Rachel Graham Cody, Pete Cottell, Shannon Gormley, Jordan Green, Jay Horton, AP Kryza, John Locanthi, Mark Stock PRODUCTION Production Manager Dylan Serkin Art Director Kathleen Marie Special Sections Art Director Kristina Morris Graphic Designers Mitch Lillie, Xel Moore Production Interns Kyle Key, Jennifer Plitzko

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INBOX SCHOOL’S KID CLEANING CREW

I live a block away from César Chávez School and withdrew my daughter after she attended kindergarten there for three months. I have heard many stories from neighborhood parents about inappropriate language, punishments and other behaviors from teachers [“Little Janitors,” WW, March 11, 2015]. In addition, there is glass, cigarette butts and other unsanitary trash items littering the school grounds, and the restrooms were always in bad condition—it is unsafe and degrading to have young children cleaning the school. —“Guest” This is completely wrong, especially at such a young age. The punishment for a second-grader rolling her eyes at a teacher is cleaning? Totally inappropriate. How about something educational such as writing a paragraph on respect while other children have their free time? Teach them the error of their ways, don’t subject them to punishments that have nothing to do with school. —“Kitts” César Chávez School staff, take heart. You are doing things right. As a member of this community, I look back five years ago and compare it to now. I am grateful for the changes that have taken place under this new leadership. There is an established behavior system with consequences for students. There seems to be less tardies, and more participation in school events. —“Lia H.”

A few years ago, Portland switched from Styrofoam to biodegradable cups, ﬂatware, etc. Now that compostable containers aren’t being composted any more, what’s the plan for all those containers? Back to the landﬁll? —Feels Good But Is It? Styrofoam is indeed horrible. My new TV (shut up) came with two enormous blocks of the stuff, and I think I’m safe in saying that it’s easier (and more legal) to dispose of a body than it is to get rid of an equivalent volume of Styrofoam. That said, Feels, the Styrofoam ban you describe as having happened “a few years ago” was enacted in 1989, and the current foofaraw about compostable containers has very little to do with it. For those who don’t know, as of this month “compostable” containers, cups, straws, flatware and the like are no longer compostable. Or, more precisely, Metro is no longer accepting them as commercial compost—if you want to compost them in the privacy of your home, 4

Willamette Week MARCH 18, 2015 wweek.com

URBAN FARMERS’ TAX LOOPHOLE

Tax loopholes for forestry and farm property need to be examined and addressed [“You Call This a Farm?,” WW, March 11, 2015]. Just because a law was legislated doesn’t mean it must remain the same forever. We’ll all be watching to see who will do something about this ridiculous tax exemption. Who’s going to step forward and fix it? —“Multnomah” I have a couple of trees on my property and grow some blueberries, figs and raspberries. Sounds like farm and forest land to me. I have considered cutting down my trees and have consulted with farm and forest experts who are acquaintances. Sign me up for a tax deferral! —“Chuck from PDX” Sure, some are taking advantage of the system, but the majority of small farms are not. Case in point: I have a 10-acre farm that has grass seed on it. The land is leased to a person who grows grass seed on many small farms in the area. What I get for my lease does not even pay the property taxes. If you want to raise my taxes, then let me sell off buildable lots or do a development myself. If you tax me like residential property and do not change the zoning, I can’t see how anyone with a small farm could exist. —“PO’ed in Oregon” LETTERS TO THE EDITOR must include the author’s street address and phone number for veriﬁcation. Letters must be 250 or fewer words. Submit to: 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Fax: (503) 243-1115. Email: mzusman@wweek.com.

knock yourself out. Why? As is almost always the case when explaining why we can’t have nice things, the short answer is that people are stupid. The slightly longer answer is that businesses and their customers were doing a lousy job of keeping regular old death-mongering plastic out of the compost bins. In a sense, compostables were a victim of their own success—they’re so convincing, folks couldn’t tell them from the real thing. Seattle is said to be considering making compostables mandatory for all takeout restaurants, a move that some—especially folks in the compostable-plastics business—would like to see Portland emulate. For now, though, your instinct is correct—our containers will be going back to the landfill. As for this Styrofoam, I imagine it’ll have to be buried with me when I die. Even then, I should probably start applying for the appropriate permits now. QUESTIONS? Send them to dr.know@wweek.com

Willamette Week MARCH 18, 2015 wweek.com

COURTS: The U.S. attorney for Oregon stalks out. SCHOOLS: Why do girls’ teams take a backseat in Portland? HOTSEAT: East Portland separatists Collene Swenson and Pat Edwards. COVER STORY: Frugal City: Living the cheap life in Portland.

7 10 11 12

PORTLAND SCHOOLS DISPOSE OF A DISCIPLINE IDEA. Portland Public Schools has put a stop—for now—to the practice of forcing students at César Chávez K-8 School to clean walls, doorknobs and desks and pick up trash as discipline (“Little Janitors,” WW, March 11, 2015). PPS officials had defended the program before issuing a one-line statement March 12 that it was being suspended. WW asked all nine Portland School Board candidates in the May election what they thought of the program—most responses were critical. Check out wweek.com to see what they had to say. ANKROM MOISAN ARCHITECTS/ MORTENSON DEVELOPMENT

Opponents of a proposed 600-room Hyatt hotel at the Oregon Convention Center want voters to have a chance to weigh in on the project and its $78 million in taxpayer subsidies. Foes are currently in court battling Metro, the regional government that’s backing the hotel and wants to avoid a vote. Metro is now trying to sidestep the judge PROPOSED HYATT by asking state lawmakers for a bill that would exempt the project from a vote. The measure has already passed the Senate. Opponents, led by downtown hotelier Gordon Sondland, say the bill is dirty pool. “Metro doesn’t want required voter approval,” says Peter Watts, the opponents’ attorney, “because they know they can’t sell the project to voters.” Andy Shaw, chief of staff for Metro Council President Tom Hughes, says the bill removes any question about whether the hotel requires a public vote. “We’re going to take every step we can,” Shaw says, “to make sure we get this important project finished.”

State lawmakers are close to establishing March 22 permanently as Tom McCall Day in Oregon. The day—McCall’s birthday—wouldn’t be an official government holiday but instead a commemoration of the former Republican governor, who served from 1967 to 1975 and established Oregon as an environmental and progressive leader. Says Rep. David Gomberg (D-Otis), a chief sponsor of the bill: “The idea is to encourage Oregon schools to teach students about McCall’s legacy.” Read more Murmurs and daily scuttlebutt. 6

Willamette Week MARCH 18, 2015 wweek.com

WILLAMETTE WEEK

In January, WW told the story of Portland activist Hart Noecker’s banishment from local protest groups after several women accused him of sexual misconduct (“Purged,” WW, Jan. 21, 2015). Byrd Jasper, 21, accused Noecker of rape. Portland police—who have been investigating Jasper’s claim—have not charged Noecker. Meanwhile, he has won a legal fight against Jasper, turning back an effort to get a restraining order against him. Noecker’s attorney, Jay Bodzin, says Jasper withdrew the petition March 10 rather than produce text messages, social-media posts and medical records. “Domestic violence is a serious social problem, and victims must have a voice in our legal system,” Bodzin says. “However, that voice cannot exclude the right of a person accused of wrongdoing to a fair hearing.” Jasper declined to comment.

McCALL

GOT A GOOD TIP? CALL 503.445.1542, OR EMAIL NEWSHOUND@WWEEK.COM

©Rick BowmeR | coRBis

NEWS

UNDER FIRE: U.S. Attorney for Oregon Amanda Marshall (shown here in 2012) is on leave after a prosecutor who worked for her accused Marshall of stalking him.

FATAL ATTRACTION FALLOUT U.S. ATTORNEY AMANDA MARSHALL’S FLAMEOUT AMID THE KITZHABER INVESTIGATION COULD SULLY THE IMAGE OF HER PATRON, U.S. SEN. RON WYDEN. By NIGEL JAQUISS

njaquiss@wweek.com

Amanda Marshall grabbed the attention of Oregonians last month when she publicly took command of the largest government corruption case this state has seen in decades. Marshall, the chief federal prosecutor in Oregon, fanned agents out across Salem in search of evidence that then-Gov. John Kitzhaber and first lady Cylvia Hayes broke the law by selling access to the governor’s office. The allegations drove Kitzhaber from office—and elevated Marshall’s profile as Oregon’s top crime fighter. Now, in a twist straight from a B movie, Marshall herself has been driven from office. She’s accused of stalking one of the prosecutors who work for her, showering him with unwanted texts and emails even as he was under 24/7 armed protection

because of death threats from Mexican drug dealers. “It’s a little bit bizarre that the biggest case of her career would be an investigation of a politician being brought down by a romantic relationship—and then the same thing appears to be happening to her,” says Professor Tung Yin, who teaches criminal law at Lewis & Clark Law School. There’s no ev idence of a romantic relationship between Marshall and her top drug prosecutor, Scott Kerin (both are married). But there’s plenty of evidence that she pursued him at great cost to herself and potential embarrassment for the man who plucked her from legal obscurity five years ago to make her Oregon’s top federal law enforcement officer, U.S. Sen. Ron Wyden (D-Ore.). Neither Kerin nor Marshall has responded to requests for comment, and her office has declined to answer questions about the situation. The U.S. Attorney’s Office is responsible for representing the federal government in civil cases and prosecuting complex criminal cases, including white-collar crime, multijurisdictional drug cases and human trafficking. The job of U.S. attorney is a political as well as legal

position. The president appoints the U.S. attorneys across the country, usually at the recommendation of senior senators. The jobs are coveted by experienced prosecutors, and candidates for the Oregon post in 2010 included District Attorney John Foote of Clackamas County, DA Josh Marquis of Clatsop County, and the then-interim U.S. attorney for Oregon, Dwight Holton. Wyden instead tapped Marshall, largely an unknown in Oregon legal circles. She had been an assistant district attorney in Coos County for five years and worked at the Oregon Department of Justice for a decade, specializing in parental rights termination. Marshall’s last two job evaluations at Oregon DOJ were unremarkable. She moved into management only in her final two years and fell below her target for billable hours. “I am shocked I did not achieve the goal,” Marshall wrote in September 2009, adding, “I have struggled to ‘keep on top’ of my organization.” She gained attention with a Facebook page expressing interest in becoming U.S. attorney, a novel approach to seeking a federal appointment. Wyden was under political pressure at the time from the Oregon Women Lawyers, who’d blasted the earlier selection processes for two federal judgeships. Wyden had chosen Michael Simon and Marco Hernandez from candidate lists made up only of men. Marshall’s tenure as U.S. attorney had been largely cont. on page 8 Willamette Week MARCH 18, 2015 wweek.com

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uneventful, until last year when then-U.S. District Judge Ancer Haggerty harshly criticized her office’s handling of evidence last year in the murder trial of white supremacist David “Joey” Pedersen. Haggerty excoriated Marshall’s office for “prosecutorial misconduct” in its handing of the high-profile case. Then, in October 2014, allegations of influence peddling and conf lict of interest arose around Kitzhaber and Hayes. Soon, the FBI was investigating. That gave Marshall’s office a head start on the Oregon Department of Justice, which reluctantly started its own criminal investigation of Kitzhaber and Hayes in early February. Late last month, Marshall wrested control of the case from the Oregon DOJ and Attorney General Ellen Rosenblum, whom the feds wanted out of the way as they pursued the case against the former governor and first lady. (Disclosure: Rosenblum is married to WW publisher and co-owner Richard Meeker.) Having the feds take charge made sense: They have more resources, more experience making big political corruption cases, and more distance from Oregon’s Democratic Party machine. Marshall’s moment in the sun was soon eclipsed by allegations about her own behavior. About four months ago, federal agents put Scott Kerin, Marshall’s top drug prosecutor, under round-the-clock protection after threats on his life. Such precautions are rare, according to people familiar with the U.S. Attorney’s Office. (Kerin’s wife, Michelle, is also a federal prosecutor in that office.) “As some of you know, Scott Kerin has been under a 24/7 U.S. Marshal protection detail for the last four months,” Kerin’s direct supervisor, Pamala Holsinger, wrote to office staff March 9 in an email obtained by WW. “That detail has, at times, interfered with work, but is scheduled to come to an end soon.” Marshall took an unusual personal interest in Kerin’s whereabouts and his private life. Sources familiar with the situation tell WW that Kerin filed a hostile workplace environment complaint against Marshall after she allegedly sent him numerous unwanted text and email messages and followed him outside of working hours even during the time when Kerin was under armed guard.

“the biggest risk here is the kitzhaber investigation.” —jim moore, pacific university

“It brings to mind Monica Wehby,” says Professor Jim Moore, director of the Tom McCall Center at Pacific University. Wehby, a pediatric neurosurgeon and Republican candidate for U.S. Senate last year, saw her hopes fizzle when Democrats produced a police report in which an ex-boyfriend accused Wehby of stalking him. Investigators from the U.S. Department of Justice’s Office of the Inspector General came to Portland earlier this month. As a result of their work, Marshall abruptly announced last 8

Willamette Week MARCH 18, 2015 wweek.com

c h r i s r ya n

MARSHALL PLAN: U.S. Sen. Ron Wyden passed over veteran prosecutors to fill Oregon’s top federal law enforcement job.

week she was taking a leave of absence for health reasons. However, sources familiar with the situation say the U.S. Department of Justice had, in fact, removed her security clearance and her access to agency email based on the investigation. Marshall’s colleagues in the U.S. Attorney’s Office don’t expect her to return. There’s evidence that Marshall, who earned $155,500 a year, had already been looking for a new job. Marshall, who is married to Yamhill County Circuit Judge Ladd Wiles and commutes to Portland from McMinnville, had talked about pursuing the CEO’s job at SAIF Corp., the stateowned workers compensation insurer, and interviewed with at least one private law firm. The U.S. Attorney’s Office has a reputation for employing a strong group of career prosecutors who will do fine without Marshall. Yet anything that goes awry in her office’s investigation of Kitzhaber will probably get blamed on Marshall and, by extension, the Democratic U.S. senator who recommended her appointment, Wyden. “The biggest risk here is the Kitzhaber investigation,” says Pacific University’s Moore. The senior senator is up for re-election next year and could face questions about his judgment in choosing Marshall over more qualified candidates. Ma rsha ll told Wyden’s of f ice last week only that she was going on medical leave, says Wyden spokesman Hank Stern, who says no one in Wyden’s office had heard about the stalking allegation. Stern says Wyden has no second thoughts about putting Marshall forward for the job. He says Marshall came recommended by a committee comprised largely of Oregon law enforcement officials. “Given the information available at the time,” Stern says, “the senator is not going to second-guess those decisions now.”

Willamette Week MARCH 18, 2015 wweek.com

NEWS christine dong

SCHOOLS

LADIES FIRST WHY DO PORTLAND SCHOOLS TREAT GIRLS’ BASKETBALL AS SECOND RATE? By BETH SLOVIC

bslovic@wweek.com

Maddy Horn had a great season as point guard for her Wilson High School girls’ varsity basketball team, winning co-MVP. The senior says she and her teammates worked just as hard as the Wilson boys’ team and love the game just as much. “We all are so committed,” she says. But Maddy says Portland Public Schools hasn’t shown that her team matters as much as the boys’ team. On the nights when the teams played at the same venue, home or away, the girls’ team always played earlier in the day while the boys’ team always got the headliner time slot. “By always having us first, it seems like they’re saying, ‘We’re saving the best for last,’” Maddy says. Wilson parents, including Maddy ’s mother, couldn’t help noticing, either. “It teaches everyone at school that girls are the opening act and boys are the marquee,” says Allison Horn, a shooting guard for Portland State University’s women’s basketball team from 1989 to ’93. The mission statement of Portland Public Schools’ athletics department is clear: “To build community, character and academic excellence through equitable athletic programming.” But Horn and other parents say not only is PPS ignoring its own policies, it’s violating Title IX, the federal law that has ensured equal access to sports for male and female students since 1972. Title IX prohibits gender discrimination in public schools. Athletic programs for boys and girls don’t have to be identical under the law, but they do have to be equal. That means girls and boys should have equal access to “prime-time” games.

Willamette Week MARCH 18, 2015 wweek.com

The Oregon 2014-15 high school basketball season ended March 14 with the state championship tournament for both boys’ and girls’ teams. But a formal complaint filed by Horn is pending before the Portland School Board. PPS officials, including Superintendent Carole Smith, have denied doing anything wrong. Horn and other parents spotted unfairness in the schedule from the start. On Fridays, for example, the schedule had the Wilson girls’ junior varsity team playing at 3:45 pm, followed by the boys’ junior varsity team at 5. The girls’ varsity team would play at 6:30, and the boys’ varsity team would play at 8. That was true at Wilson and the eight other high schools in the district. “It wasn’t fair,” says Kiana Gilzow, a wing for the Wilson girls’ junior varsity team. The issue with the schedule isn’t just about making sure that parents and fans can make it to tipoff, although that’s important. For Wilson students, earlier games often meant the junior varsity girls had to leave class an hour before school ended, cutting into their instructional time. The schedule didn’t affect the boys’ classroom time as much. Title IX experts say Horn may have a case, especially given the bigger loss of class time for girls.

“it teaches everyone at school that girls are the opening act and boys are the marquee.” —ALLISON HORN “That is clearly an issue,” says Neena Chaudhry, senior counsel and director of equal opportunities in athletics at the National Women’s Law Center in Washington, D.C. “It raises a red flag, and it’s some-

IN THEIR COURT: Lily Brodrick and Maddy Horn, co-captains of Wilson High School’s girls’ varsity basketball team, say Portland Public Schools’ 2014-15 schedule denied their team the spotlight it deserved. “They don’t really want to admit it’s wrong,” Maddy says.

thing they should look into.” Horn objected to the schedule in December. So did Mike Nolan, coach of Wilson’s varsity girls, and Suzanne Washington, coach of the Cleveland High School girls’ varsity team. “I said it was sexist and that the only way I was in favor of it was if we alternated weekly who went first and second,” Washington tells WW in an email. “And I said it again at our last joint coaches meeting.” Marshall Haskins, the district’s athletic director, didn’t change the schedule, despite the objections. Haskins didn’t respond to WW’s interview request. Horn, on behalf of six other Wilson parents, filed a formal complaint with PPS on Dec. 10. Greg Wolleck, director of school programs, responded in a two-page memo Jan. 9. In it, Wolleck defended the system that always rewarded boys’ teams with the later games, saying the league needed to be “consistent.” He argued “prime time” was anything after 6 pm—not just the last game of the evening—and that the district’s actions didn’t violate Title IX. Wolleck added that scheduling girls’ games earlier was intended to help boost attendance at their games. “The girls benefit from the support of fans for their own games as well as the arrival of fans for the boys games,” Wolleck wrote. Horn doesn’t buy it. “‘We are violating

your rights, but it’s for your own good,’” is how she sums up PPS’s position. Horn appealed Wolleck’s decision to Smith, the superintendent, on Jan. 22. In a Feb. 20 response, Smith said she agreed with staff that the district hadn’t violated Title IX. Smith said she supported a 2015-16 schedule that would give girls’ teams the chance to play twice in the final-game slot. Smith also said she worried about the loss of instructional time for girls and said she would “direct the PPS athletics department to work with each high school to ensure that the bus schedules for the 201516 basketball season do not disproportionately require early dismissal for any team.” Horn still isn’t satisfied. It’s not the bus schedule that’s the problem, she says. It’s the game schedule. She wants the district to pick the solution that’s been obvious from the start—alternating who plays first weekly. The School Board has until March 29 to decide whether to hear Horn’s appeal and possibly overturn Smith’s decision. Lily Brodrick, a senior, was the Wilson team co-captain and co-MVP with Maddy Horn. She says her team only wanted equal opportunity. “They’re saying the guys should have more importance,” says Brodrick, who is also Wilson’s Rose Festival Court princess. “That’s what they’re showing us. I’m not sure it’s their intent. But if it’s not, then they should change it.”

NEWS PHOTOS BY KYLE KEY

NEIGHBORHOODS

COLLENE SWENSON AND PAT EDWARDS TWO EAST PORTLAND SECESSIONISTS EXPLAIN WHY THEY WANT VOTERS TO SEVER THEIR NEIGHBORHOODS’ TIES TO THE CITY. BY ANTHONY MACUK

amacuk@wweek.com

Collene Swenson and Pat Edwa rds wa nt out of the city of Portland. W hat they really want is the city to get out of where they live, East Portland, and leave the residents of SWENSON AND EDWARDS this often overlooked and neglected flank of the city beyond Interstate 205 to decide their own destiny. The complaints aired by Swenson, a 48-year-old insurance adjuster, and Edwards, who is 51 and works for a cellphone carrier, aren’t new. Most of East Portland was annexed in the early 1980s and in many places still lacks basic services, such as paved roads and sidewalks. Residents have long complained they only get the attention of City Hall during election season (“The Other Portland,” WW, Oct. 12, 2011). But Swenson and Edwards, both active in the Hazelwood Neighborhood Association, have taken their animosity toward City Hall further than anyone else, seeking a citywide vote in November 2016 to de-annex 13 neighborhoods in the East Portland Neighborhood Association. Swenson, Edwards and their supporters need 31,345 signatures to force a vote. Portland officials rejected their first petition two weeks ago on technical grounds. The secessionists say they will be back with a new petition—and finally force City Hall to listen to East Portland’s grievances. WW: So you’re not going to let this drop after the city rejected your first petition? Pat Edwards: We’ll refile it until the cows come home. It’s time for the city of Portland to get a dear John letter. We want to break up. Collene Swenson: When we filed it, we knew they wouldn’t take it. They have to come back with an answer of what laws they want us to address. So, in a way, the rejection is extremely helpful. What was the last straw that made you want to secede? Edwards: We don’t get the attention that other parts of the city get. Gentrification is in full force, but we can’t even get the streets paved. We also learned some very disturbing things about how public safety was being allocated to our community: Between 11 pm and, like, 4 am or 6 am—we had two patrolling officers. That’s all we could get from the city. Two. East Precinct, for that matter— Swenson: Closed on weekends. Edwards: It’s a law enforcement agency that’s closed on the weekends.

SINKHOLE: Residents of East Portland have long complained about City Hall’s neglect of their area, including miles of unpaved streets, such as Northeast Couch Street near 117th Avenue.

What doesn’t City Hall understand about East Portland? Swenson: They think we’re troublemakers. Complainers. We’re not complainers. There’s nothing really different about us. We’re different because we don’t have the services that everybody else has. If they stop separating us out, we’re just more people in the city who want a quality of life. What’s broken in your neighborhood? Swenson: It’s the same thing that’s broken in every neighborhood. It’s the same thing in the Pearl. We see the same things they do, on a different scale, in a different manner. Edwards: But the Pearl doesn’t have unpaved streets. Does leaving the city really provide the answers? Swenson: Our form of government [city commissioners elected citywide, instead of from districts] doesn’t work. We don’t want that future, where you can’t control what’s going on in your borders. Do you think this idea would really have enough support? Edwards: We’re coming, and we are going to make a relentless effort. I can’t emphasize that word enough: absolutely relentless effort. [The city] needs to take this seriously, we have an overwhelming positive response to this. Swenson: From all over the city. I have little old ladies, little old men calling. All of my neighbors—they want to pass out petitions. They’re from all walks of life. Young, old, hard-working people. You’re also talking about creating a new city out of the neighborhoods you seek to de-annex from Portland. Most of Portland’s property tax value is west of I-205. Won’t it be difficult to make up the difference if you create a new city? Swenson: In the beginning, yes. In the two-mile area we’re sitting in right now [at the Elmer’s Restaurant at Mall 205], there are five strip clubs, six pot shops, hookah bars, vapor lounges. This is the kind of business they give us. [West of I-205] doesn’t supplement us. So it’s stacked against us. You have to have the services, you have to have the assets back. You change the zoning to attract more residents. We’re not saying it’s not going to be hard at first; it’s already hard with the money we have right now. All of our improvements are paid for with urban renew-

al money—generated through our area, and it’s spent in our area. On the other hand, every neighborhood’s [taxes] go into a pool for the area that has the most daytime employees and the most daytime residents. Where is that? Downtown? Swenson: Right. They think we’re a charity case. They’re wrong. No more than they’re a charity case. The only charity case that’s around is downtown. Edwards: Twenty percent of taxes come from this area. This area is in a state of serious, rapid deterioration. We don’t see 20 percent of [Portland’s] tax dollars coming back in our community. What would you call the new city? Swenson: I’ve been asked that 4 million times—more than anything else. That belongs to the people who are here. They get to pick. Would you form your own police and fi re bureaus or contract for services? Swenson: All of those decisions ultimately end up being [up to] the new city. People keep asking about Metro, or school districts, or neighborhood associations, the county. We’re not trying to remove them. You’d have the same neighborhood association, the same Metro, the same county. The only thing going away would be Portland. SECTION OF CITY THAT WOULD BE DE-ANNEXED

Columbia River

illa

The East Portland separatists seek a November 2016 vote that would de-annex 13 neighborhoods from the city of Portland. Willamette Week MARCH 18, 2015 wweek.com

PHOTOS BY WILL CORWIN 12

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Get yo hair cut You, me and $1

Tecate

Movies Cheap ballz

LIVING CHEAP AND WELL IN PORTLAND: $1 BEERS, $1 BOWLING AND THE $20 ONE-HOUR MASSAGE.

Time to pay

up.

emember when the Great Recession ended? Neither do we. While economists say the nation has been on the mend, and the Dow reached a new high this month, it sure doesn’t feel that way in Portland. Maybe that’s because America’s richest 1 percent captured about 95 percent of the income gained since the recession ended, according to Thomas Piketty, author of Capital. More specifically, it’s because you haven’t had a raise since Obama’s first term, your rent has gone up $100 and your friends with tech jobs insist on dinner at a place with boar street tacos that cost $4 each. Sure, you’re feeling more secure than you were in 2008. You’re going out for dinner again—you just need some deals to stay solvent. How does one survive this new Gilded Age? Well, until it’s time to storm the Bastille, why not a $3.99 Sunday brunch at a dive bar followed by a $20 one-hour massage, and a couple $2 craft IPAs on one of Portland’s most underrated patios? Fuck it, let’s go bowling—we know a place where you can roll for $1 per game on Sundays. Below, you’ll find a selection of the best deals we’ve found in town. CHEAP LIFE CONT. on page 14

Willamette Week MARCH 18, 2015 wweek.com

CHEAP LIFE

CONT.

A Full Breakfast Under $4… $3.99 breakfast special at the Mock Crest Tavern “Give me a fucking screwdriver!” booms a convivial man in a Hawaiian shirt. It’s 9:30 a.m. on a weekday and the elderly, housecoat-and-slippers-clad regulars at the video lottery machines don’t even look up. Everyone inside Mock Crest Tavern (3435 N Lombard St., 283-5014, mockcrest. com) has ordered the special: a hefty egg, ham and cheese English muffin sandwich, easily $8 at the average brunch spot but half the price here. (Leaving just enough in the budget for that screwdriver.) KAT MERCK.

$2.50 for hash browns and toast at the Cheerful Tortoise The Cheerful Tortoise (1939 SW 6th Ave., 224-3377, cheerfultortoise.com) can’t decide whether it is a Coors Light bar or a Bud Light bar, as demonstrated by the dozens of competing knickknacks lining the walls. But Portland State’s wood-paneled dive bar lets the neon pretend to be daylight, which works well when you’ve spent all night on the floor of your late-bloomer friend’s dorm room. What you need now is breakfast, as quick and cheap as possible. At $2.50, perfectly browned and crispy hash browns and toast are only a quarter more than a bottomless cup of black coffee, and endlessly more energizing, allowing you to step squinty-eyed into the sunlight anew, like the head of a turtle peeking out if its shell when the birds are finally gone. PARKER HALL.

Deuces breakfast at Marathon Taverna You have to wander through a crowd of 11 am regulars and their slurred demands for crisp $1 bills as change for a morning tallboy of Rolling Rock, but the cheapest breakfast in town is at Marathon Taverna (1735 W Burnside St., 224-1341, marathontaverna.com). For just $2, crisp bills or not, you will get two eggs, bacon and toast, cooked in the classic diner style, to enjoy with a hung-over grin while you watch whatever European soccer or golf programming is on offer. This morning marathon is the finish line for the previous night’s. It’s a throbby-headed New Year’s Day miracle. PARKER HALL.

$3 Safeway breakfast burritos While the service is wildly inconsistent from one Safeway deli counter to the next, most customer service-related affronts to your busy schedule are easily forgiven when one considers the size and price of Safeway’s breakfast burrito. It’s basic—just eggs, cheese, jojos and a choice of deli meat topped with a zesty ranch sauce—but it’s easily twice the size and half the price of just about any other competing burrito. Earlier is better, as there’s rarely more than one employee working, and Subway sandwich artists they are not. But the likelihood they’ll forget to ring you up for add-ons like bell peppers or tomatoes amid the logjam of savvy morning commuters is quite high. Pro tip: The cold case at the downtown location (1010 SW Jefferson St., 205-1849, safeway.com) is always stocked with the pre-made versions of these protein grenades in case you’d rather skip the line and use your Oregon Trail card to foot the bill. PETE COTTELL.

Willamette Week MARCH 18, 2015 wweek.com

Cheap Massages, Acupuncture and Haircuts… The $20 one-hour massage

They call it a foot massage. How can it possibly take an hour? Can someone really rub your feet for 60 minutes? The secret, of course, is that in the art of reflexology, the foot is broadly defined and also includes the areas attached to your feet by nerves, such as your back and neck. You can spot places offering reflexology up and down 82nd Avenue. I can vouch for Regal Foot Spa (8001 SE Powell Blvd., Suite F, 964-0139), which massages you temple to toe for just $20. My wife compared it to the massage she got on the beaches of Thailand—and for about the same price. Afterward, go all out by hitting the nearby Bambu for a choice of 100-some Thai desserts. MARTIN CIZMAR.

Ancient Chinese medicine for $15 With three Portland locations, Working Class Acupuncture (3526 NE 57th Ave., 335-9440; 4410 SW BeavertonHillsdale Highway, 244-7525; 5814 SE 92nd Ave., 477-7115; workingclassacupuncture.org) is on a mission to make ancient Chinese medicine readily available to everyone. Treatment is on sliding scale, from $15 to $35, and you decide what you can pay. Whether you’re in mental or physical pain, the friendly acupuncturists deliver a few precise pokes, while soothing music (OK, occasionally the

snoring of another patient—treatment is done in a shared room) lulls you to sleep. When you wake up, you’ll feel better. Or, if nothing else, it’s a great excuse to take a socially acceptable nap. BROOKE GEERY.

The $7 haircut An especially fine specimen preserved in the timeless amber that is blue-collar Kenton, 7 Bucks a Wack (8321 N Denver Ave., 236-1010) is, has always been, and will probably always be just as the name says: $7. You may have to step around Elvis the dog, or steer clear of the rice cooker stationed next to the combs and clippers, or listen to the salty proprietress, Darlene, air grievances of city RV parking regulations while reruns of The People’s Court blare in the background, but the ratio of price to quality is unparalleled. Darlene has been doing this longer than many neighborhood residents have been alive, and it shows. You may not get a free Miller High Life with your haircut, but you’ll have enough money left over to buy a six-pack. KAT MERCK.

A $10 haircut downtown Beau Monde Beauty School (1221 SW 12th Ave., 2267355, beaumondecollege.com. 10:30 am-9:30 pm TuesdayFriday, 9:30 am-5 pm Saturday). The pecking order goes: level 2, level 3, and “salon-ready” for stylists at Beau Monde, but you’ll pay the same for any of the three. Walk-ins are welcome but appointments encouraged on busy Fridays and Saturdays. You can request a certain level when booking or take your chances. For some reason, shampooing has the only price levels: $4 for a novice sudser, $9 for a pro. Warning: Calling ahead will subject you to the most awkward hold-line recording playing on a loop. ENID SPITZ.

CONT.

A $6 haircut in Hollywood

Phagans’ School of Hair Design (1542 NE Weidler St., 239-0838, phagans.com. 10 am-10 pm Tuesday-Friday, 9 am-4 pm Saturday). Last call at Phagans’ is 8:30 pm, later than most, but they say definitely book ahead. Occasional specials pop up, like $6 haircuts in March (usually $8), but otherwise prices are fixed even for different experience levels. No requests here; you get the next available pair of hands whether they’re a freshman or senior. ENID SPITZ.

A $5 cut and $2 blow-dry on Northeast 82nd Portland Beauty School (8230 NE Siskiyou St., 255-6303, portlandbeautyschool.com. 10 am-8 pm Tuesday-Friday, 9 am-5 pm Saturday). Cheapest in the land, Portland Beauty School trims locks at 5 bucks a pop if you make the trip out to Northeast. They strongly advise appointments, but you can’t request an experience level, so cross your fingers and hope for the best. If it’s a bust, you can always get your wig styled for $8. ENID SPITZ.

Boozing… The cheapest beers in town… Sure, you’ve come to expect the $2 Pabst as your Portland birthright, even at restaurants with $15 corkage fees. But why stop there, when the beers get even cheaper? MATTHEW KORFHAGE.

Cheap punk-rock cans LoBu’s B-Side Tavern (632 E Burnside St., 2333113) serves $1 Tecate, Rainier and Hamms tallboys to old-guard rockers and longtime regulars every day from 4 to 7 pm, under the watchful eye of a psychedelic portrait of “Tronicorn” that will—according to a Post-it note—“fuck your girlfriend.” In a parallel northern universe, Alberta’s The Know (2026 NE Alberta St., 473-8729, theknowpdx.com) throws down $1.50 PBR, Hamms and Rainier tallboys at the exact same time, to

CHEAP LIFE

the exact the same people, in a bar with almost the exact same amount of graffiti. The Florida Room (435 N Killingsworth St., 287-5658), meanwhile, offers $1 Olympias around the clock, under the glow of a sign that says, helpfully, “YOU’LL NEVER GET LAID DRESSED LIKE THAT.”

Old Town old men Brave the Yamhill Pub (223 SW Yamhill St., 295-6613) and get your reward: $1.50 Pabst tallboys before 8 pm. Ash Street Saloon (225 SW Ash St., 226-0430, ashstreetsaloon.com), Lefty the One-Armed Guitarist’s favorite day-drinking bar for many years, serves $1.25 PBR drafts from 4 to 8 pm daily (11 am-8 pm Wednesdays).

Eastside lean-tos With a marketing sensibility that’s either daffy or completely brilliant, Da Hui (6504 SE Foster Road, 477-7224) offers $1 Pabst and $2 well shots during three different happy hours, from noon to 1 pm, 6 to 7 pm and 11 pm to midnight. The Hutch (4606 NE Glisan St., 235-4729, thehutchonglisan.com) also offers a $1 Pabst pint happy hour for its neighborhood regulars from 4 to 7 pm weekdays, but only if you pay cash.

$1 beer invasion For a crowd mixing eager, penurious 21-yearolds with mildly annoyed regulars who’ve had their bar invaded for the night, marvel at the efficiency (pints in the fridge!) at the packed $1 Hamms night at The Standard (14 NE 22nd Ave., 233-4181, thestandardpdx.com) on Wednesdays. Witness a similar spectacle on $1 Pabst night at decor-free dive North (5008 SE Division St., 546-9973, northbarpdx.com) on Wednesdays. Or, if you prefer, go to the Barmuda Triangle’s Bar of the Gods (4801 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 232-2037, barofthegods.com) for $1 Pabsts on Thursdays.

CHEAP LIFE CONT. on page 17

Willamette Week MARCH 18, 2015 wweek.com

CHEAP LIFE

Follow your feet to Footwise for culinary shoes. sandals•shoes•clogs•boots

CONT.

1433 NE Broadway • 503.493.0070 Hours: Mon-Sat 10-6; Sun 11-5 Facebook.com/footwiseportland

Pizza, pizza, beer Order two slices at Brooklynized Baby Doll Pizza (835 SE Stark St., 459-4450, babydollpizza.com)—just like Radio Raheem in Do the Right Thing—and get a $1.50 Rainier instead of a street riot.

The invisible lakeshore At Rae’s Lakeview Lounge (1900 NW 27th Ave., 719-6494, raesportland.com), where there is neither a lake nor a view, you can sip a $1 Rainier draft on the back porch every night after 9. And every weekend morning after 9, you can get $5 bottomless mimosas till 2 in the afternoon. Choose your poison, choose your meridian, and toast the parking lot.

Cheap fancy beer every day of the week… Way back when, $4 pints were common in Portland. That was before the city became a relocation destination for out-of-work creative types from all over the nation. Luckily there are still a brave, lonely few who are keeping the dream of the ’90s alive with $3 craft pints available all day. EZRA JOHNSON-GREENOUGH MONDAY: Wash down $5 nachos at Lompoc Tavern (1620 NW

23rd Ave., 894-9374, lompocbrewing.com) or $4 totchos at Sellwood’s Oaks Bottom Pub (1621 SE Bybee Blvd., 232-1728, lompocbrewing.com) all day. Other days of the week, you can get $2.50 pints from 4 to 6 pm and 10 pm to close.

TUESDAY: Choose between $2.50 pints at EastBurn (1800 E Burnside St., 236-2876, theeastburn.com) with sensitive-minded bros or $2.50 pints at Lompoc’s Fifth Quadrant (3901 N Williams Ave., 288-3996, lompocbrewing.com) or Hedge House (3412 SE Division St., 235-2215, lompocbrewing.com) locations with unemployed regulars and middle-class, dog-loving families. WEDNESDAY: One of Portland’s best beer bars and bottle shops,

Belmont Station (4500 SE Stark St., 232-8538, belmont-station. com) has a rotating $3-a-pint beer special, and they always have great stuff on.

THURSDAY: It’s Throwback Thursdays, a perfect time to look back at an era when Portland Brewing (2730 NW 31st Ave., 228-5269, portlandbrewing.com) was MacTarnahan’s and pints were still $2 after 6 pm. If you don’t feel like driving to industrial Northwest, then how about the inner-Southeast Pod Bar (5205 SE Foster Road, 853-3541) for $2.50 beers and $3 ciders among food carts and strippers on their lunch break from Devils Point? CHEAP LIFE CONT. on page 18 16

Willamette Week MARCH 18, 2015 wweek.com

Mind Games Get lOSt At

Wednesday, Mar. 25 | 6â&#x20AC;&#x201C;10pm Get lost at OMSI and find yourself immersed in the science behind your brain on games. Adults 21+ only. omsi.edu/afterdark

Willamette Week MARCH 18, 2015 wweek.com

CHEAP LIFE

CONT. in a normal library. The suggested donation is $1 per tool, and the library is open 5 to 7:30 pm Tuesdays and 9 am to 2 pm Saturdays. Just don’t hide out with the miter saw too long—borrowed tools have late fees, too. PARKER HALL.

Cheap Laundry... When your clothes are worn, they get dirty. While it would sometimes be cheaper just to buy new ones at The Bins, many people prefer to launder them. Here are the best deals we know of for doing that. ENID SPITZ.

Eliot E-Mat Cafe 2808 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 280-8889, eliotematcafe.com. 8 am-9 pm Monday-Friday, 8 am-6 pm Saturday-Sunday. $1.50 wash, 25¢ per six minutes of drying. This laundromat keeps a low profile, with the only street signage boasting of bagels and “Eliot’s famous subs.” Well, they also have the cheapest washing machines we found in town and free Wi-Fi, so your leftover quarters can go toward bagels, sandwiches and beer.

Spin Laundry Lounge 750 N Fremont St., 477-5382, spinlaundrylounge.com. 8 ammidnight daily. $3.25 wash, 25¢ per six minutes of drying. Leave it to Portland to twee-ify a corrugated iron warehouse into Spin “Laundry Lounge,” complete with candy apple IKEA stools, teal accent walls and chalkboard cafe menus (you can order a coconut muffin and sip coffee from branded mugs). The quick and basic wash is $3.35, but it’s a huge machine that can hold up to 70 pounds of clothing, meaning it’s still a bargain. And you can drink a beer while your Dockers dry.

Alpine 24-Hour Laundry FRIDAY: Vintage dive bar Hannigan’s (2622 SE Belmont St.,

233-7851)—more lovingly referred to as “the Vern”—has a daily $3 microbrew pint special. SATURDAY: Life of Pie (3632 N Williams Ave., 719-7321,

lifeofpiepizza.com) has more going for it than just Ang Lee movie references; they also have $3 draft beers from 11 am to 6 pm, plus $5 margherita pizzas. It’s way better than being trapped on a small dinghy with a tiger. More into house parties? Alameda Brewing (4765 NE Fremont St., 460-9025, alamedabrewing.com) offers $5 growler fills. SUNDAY: And…the greatest deal of them all is at The Standard (14 NE 22nd Ave., 233-4181), which has $2 microbrews all day on Sundays. Capture the moment in their onsite photo booth.

Gas, Laundry and Other Necessities... The Bins When regular Goodwills are just too pricey, pay by the pound for clothing (and lots of other stuff ) at the Goodwill outlet, better known as “The Bins” (1740 SE Ochoco St., Milwaukie, 230-2076). Here, you can find screaming deals on winter clothes in the summer, and summer clothes in the winter. There’s also that ironic, long-sleeve Austin Powers shirt from Hollywood Video with Beyoncé on it 18

Willamette Week MARCH 18, 2015 wweek.com

that you can sell to an overpriced vintage store on Hawthorne when it has faded just so. Whatever you do, wash those items before use, unless you enjoy slightly irritated skin and the smell that comes from the thousands of fingers that passed over it before tossing it back in the pile. PARKER HALL.

Southeast Tool Library If you live in Southeast—and more of you do than anywhere else in this city, S-E-P! S-E-P!—there is very little reason to go to the hardware store. Why, when you can borrow a lawnmower, saw, hedge clippers or pretty much whatever else you need from the Southeast Tool Library (2800 SE Harrison St., septl.org). It’s inside an Episcopal church, and they will ask for a utility bill to prove you’re not Irvington trash trying to sneak in and steal our tools like the dirtbag criminal we know you are. Also, it’s only open Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays. Many of the good tools are gone early. Donations suggested. Still, it’s one of the perks of life south of Burnside and east of the river. MARTIN CIZMAR.

North Portland Tool Library They don’t have any gas tools, so you won’t find a pressure washer, but the North Portland Tool Library (2209 N Schofield St., 823-0209 northportlandtoollibrary.org) does have all the electric power tools and push mowers you need to keep up that rental you pay too much for, or to cut some boards for those raised beds you always wanted. Just like at the tool library in Southeast, bring a piece of mail as proof of address to join, or have your truck-owning girlfriend register with her car’s title, and borrow tools using her ID number, you know, like you do with books

231 N Lombard St., 289-7529, alpine24hourlaundromat. com. Open 24 hours daily. $2 wash, 25¢ per seven minutes of drying. One of the only 24-hour laundromats in the city, Alpine is also among the cheapest: Washes start at $2, and a quarter gets you seven minutes of dry time instead of the usual six. North Lombard might not be a prime 2 am haunt, except here: The computer corner alternately attracts homeless and hordes of small children watching Dora on YouTube. There is a massage chair (use at your own risk), a high-def big screen playing TV ministers or Lifetime miniseries, and one summer they raffled off a pink beach cruiser. Local churches and groceries sometimes drop day-old donations at the dry-cleaning desk that are up for grabs.

Cheapest Gas... Gas prices are a mercurial thing, of course. So it wouldn’t be prudent of us, as a newspaper fixed in time, to tell you the cheapest place to fill up—especially when there’s an app for that. Gas Buddy (gasbuddy.com) is basically the Yelp of filling stations, minus reviews of the snack-shop hot dogs and complaints about attendants not smiling enough during service. It sticks to the most useful information, including amenities and regular user updates on shifting petrol prices across town. A quick perusal suggests the farther east you go, the cheaper it gets, so keep that in mind when planning your next day trip to Gresham. Viewable at portlandgasprices.com. MATTHEW SINGER.

CONT.

CHEAP LIFE

Workouts…

Crunch, Boom and Planet Fitness You can get a two-hour spiel on free weights, a contact testosterone high and five pounds of chemicalized protein dust any day, any time, at a range of chrome-plated fitness chains. A few might actually be worth the sweat. They’re a little far from the city center (Beaverton, Gresham and Division), but Crunch’s (crunch.com) three locations offer $10-a-month memberships (plus a $30 annual fee) by keeping things spartan. There’s an army of treadmills and weight machines but no frills. No pool, sauna or courts, but they do boast unlimited tanning and fitness classes. Similarly named Boom (boomfitnesspdx.com) grants 24-hour access for $12.95 a month if you commit to a year and don’t mind driving to Bridgeport or Tanasbourne. At Planet Fitness (planetfitness.com) $10 gets you a T-shirt, pizza Mondays, bagel Tuesdays (irony?) and “no gymtimidation.” It’s $10 more a month for half-price cooler drinks, unlimited hydromassage, and haircuts. ENID SPITZ.

Yoga... Enlightenment is expensive—at least the Lululemon-clad version that runs around $17 per class at many studios. But for less affluent down-doggers, good news: Yoga is built on tenets such as asteya (nonstealing), brahmacharya (moderation), and kula (community), so many studios do their karma yoga by offering cheap classes. Assuming you’ve already used every fi rst-timer deal, and don’t want to abuse the donation system at Yoga on Yamhill, you could still practice at a different Stumptown studio every day for a week for under $35. It’s even cheaper if you repeat. Ready to go? Namaste! (One disclaimer: As a yoga instructor, I’ve worked for some of these studios and practiced at most.) ENID SPITZ.

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MONDAYS: Early happy hour (4 pm) at Southeast’s brightly-hued

BhaktiShop (2500 SE 26th Ave., 244-0108, thebhaktishop. com) is $5. They also offer a Hard Times scholarship, cheaper early-morning classes, and occasional sing-along kirtan.

T UE S DAY S : Yoga Union (2043 SE 50th Ave., 235 -9642 , yogaunioncwc.com) has free beginner and meditation classes almost daily; 2 pm yoga basics classes are cheap or free every weekday. WEDNESDAYS: Awkward midafternoon classes (3 pm) at the

Pearl’s YoYoYogi (1306 NW Hoyt St., 688-5120, yoyoyogi.com) are only $8 since the teachers are “blossoming yogis” finishing up their teacher training.

THURSDAYS: North Portland Yoga’s (55 NE Farragut St., 9287473, northportlandyoga.com) hour-and-a-half Hatha Flow class (5:45 pm) is cheaper than thirsty Thursday at $7 and includes meditation for good measure. FRIDAYS: Happy Hour Vinyasa Flow pre-tox detoxes the weekend for $10 at 5:45 pm at Sellwood Yoga (7970 SE 13th Ave., 575-9982, sellwoodyoga.com) every Friday. SATURDAYS: Nothing beats free at the Pearl’s newest yoga spot

(it’s next to the newest climbing gym, Planet Granite). At 5 pm, PodFlow at YogaPod (1335 NW 14th Ave., 841-5870, portland. yogapodcommunity.com) is lightly heated. Expect to sweat.

SUNDAYS: “Awakening the Power of Spirit,” aka Community Yoga Flow, costs $5 at 9:30 am at the Movement Center (1021 NE 33rd Ave., 231-0383, themovementcenter.com).

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CHEAP LIFE CONT. on page 20 Willamette Week MARCH 18, 2015 wweek.com

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CONT.

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At Dave’s Killer Bread’s nondescript little shop in a Milwaukie industrial park (5209 SE International Way, Milwaukie, 335-8077, daveskillerbread.com) you’ll find day-old, frozen and imperfect loaves of Dave’s Killer Bread that usually retail between $5.50 and $6 at prices hovering between and $2.65 and $3. Even less if you buy a dozen or more. Throw the bounty in the freezer as soon as you get home and take loaves out as needed; you’ll fi nd they stay fresh just as long as the ones you pay full price for. KAT MERCK.

Grocery Outlet Sure, it’s a chain (albeit with individually owned franchises), but where else in the city can you buy a decent bottle of wine and a wheel of brand-name brie for under $5, total? “Grossout,” as it’s affectionately called by its legion of devotees, is a budget-shopping institution with three city locations and an ever-expanding stock of organic and specialty items (think coconut oil, chia seeds and gluten-free flours) for a quarter of what you’d pay at Whole Foods. Just make sure to stock up when you find something you like—the inventory changes constantly. Portland-area locations include: Hollywood, 4420 NE Hancock St., 282-5248; St. Johns, 7741 N Lombard St., 688-5565; Brentwood-Darlington, 7120 SE Flavel St., 445-0425. groceryoutlet.com. KAT MERCK.

Large cheese pie from Rovente’s 3240 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 234-7777, roventepizzeria.com. In an age of $5 Hot-N-Ready combos and $12 Cowboys from Papa Murphy’s, it’s tough for any local pizzeria to compete with budget offerings from national chains. And yet, somehow, Rovente’s does it. The deal is very specific: an extra-large 18-inch cheese pizza for $12.99. Carry-out only, and if you want pepperoni, the pie jumps to $20. But that cheese pizza is a huge New York-style pie with dough so taut and thin you can see shadows through it. It’s very tasty, and your best bet for getting a local pizza that can serve three for under $13. MARTIN CIZMAR.

Steak at Blush 5145 SE McLoughlin Blvd., 236-8559, blushgentlemensclub.com. While a gauntlet of entertainers that often outnumbers patrons 2-to-1 does the night work on stage, the bartender is pulling triple duty by intermittently dancing numbers onstage, pouring Budweisers and tending to 16-ounce hunks of wildly underpriced sirloins ($6.95 with fries) on the broiler in back. Though Blush is often passed over in favor of nearby Acropolis, the economics of this neon-pink nook of naughtiness—there’s never a cover and the cut of steak is about twice the size—makes it the clear-cut winner of McLoughlin Boulevard’s battle for stripsteak supremacy. PETE COTTELL.

A bucket of doughnuts Donuts are a luxury food, but you should never pay more than you need to. For a mere sawbuck ($10), you can pull a solid twogallon bucket of day-old doughnuts at Voodoo—provided the shop hasn’t reserved them for a school or charity. But otherwise? Something like five to 10 pounds of pure doughnut, with the necessary caveat that 90 percent of them are stuck together in a weird clump and all of them are a little stale. Just show up at the Sandy Boulevard Voodoo Doughnut (1501 NE Davis St., 235-2666, voodoodoughnut.com) to claim your day-old prize. But there are no guarantees. Sometimes there are no buckets. Insider sources say the best times to try are 6 am, 2 pm and 9 pm. Try your luck. MATTHEW KORFHAGE.

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CONT.

CHEAP LIFE

Dollar bowling at Interstate Lanes 6049 N Interstate Ave., 285-9881, interstatelanespdx.com. With the demise of Hollywood Bowl last year, Portland’s bowling landscape is now desolate enough that you’d think the remaining musty old dives could start gouging the purists who’d rather join a footbag league than step inside one of those glorified nightclubs that pass for alleys these days. But if your idea of Sunday brunch is downing a pitcher of Coors Light and greasy slices from a faux-Sbarro pizza window while rolling a few frames in a building seemingly untouched since the Atari era, Interstate Lanes offers $1 games weekly, from 10 am until 1 pm— perfect for a young kids’ birthday party, if you don’t mind the company of, y’know, the kind of people who go bowling first thing in the morning. MATTHEW SINGER.

Unlimited play at Ground Kontrol 511 NW Couch St., 796-9364, groundkontrol.com.

Food Liquidators Yes, you know that furniture has liquidators, but food does, too. If it doesn’t creep you out, Everyday Deals (17310 SE Division St., 7624970) serves up the food that Safeway won’t. Dented cans? No problem. Past date but still up to health department codes? Entirely within the business model. Bread a little hard? Organic caulif lower off-white? Hurry up and eat it. This is where you get your $2 packs of bacon, your 75 percent-off cans of beans, your $2 per pound pork loin. It’s like gleaning the fields in the Middle Ages, but with fluorescent lights. MATTHEW KORFHAGE.

Fun & Games... Beer, dice and pizza at Guardian Games 345 SE Taylor St., 238-4000, ggportland.com. The concept of #value is a mantra of sorts for local Magic: The Gathering players, but the appreciation of a good deal on games and pizza goes well beyond the klatch of dice-chuckers and mana-tappers that pack the tables of Guardian Games on a nightly basis. Nerd culture has never had as many safe spaces as it does now, and thanks to this massive inner Southeast gaming institution it’s easier than ever for n00bs and nobles alike to put down a few cold ones while giving a trial run to any of Guardian’s 500-plus games available to demo for free. The real deal is “Beer, Pizza and Games” night, which goes down the third Thursday of every month. In addition to free play, $10 gets you four tokens that can be traded for slices of Hot Lips pizza beers from a variety of rotating local taps as well as dive bar staples like Mickey’s and High Life—both of which are a steal at $2 bottle any day of the week. PETE COTTELL.

Portland’s iconic retro arcade is stocked with cabinets from the golden age of arcades. But after you’ve plugged $5 worth of quarters into NBA Jam to settle a bet about Shaq’s ability to defend Karl Malone and then spent another $5 just trying to get Sub-Zero to do one damned ice blast on Mortal Kombat, you realize that you are spending your beer budget on games. And thus the beauty of Free Play Nights. On the second Thursday and last Wednesday of every month, you pay a $5 cover and get access to all the adult arcade’s 100-plus games. The doors open at 5 pm and it’s 21-and-up. MARTIN CIZMAR.

Dentistry In The Pearl That’s Something To Smile About!

Night skate at Lloyd Center Ice Rink Lloyd Center Mall, 2201 Lloyd Center, 288-6073, lloydcenterice.com. At a time when shifting economic and cultural realities are bringing levels of civic pride to all-time lows, Portland’s undying fondness for its one and only ice rink just gets more charming. Prices don’t fluctuate much throughout the week, but the sweet spot is Friday and Saturday nights after 7:30 pm, when $10 will pay for admission and your skate rental. That’ll only save you about $2, but put that toward an Orange Julius and get the full experience of a fun night in the suburbs while never leaving the city. MATTHEW SINGER.

New Patient

$74 Exam and X-rays

New Patient

Dr. Viseh Sundberg

Children’s

$59 Exam

1945 SE Water Ave., 797-4000, omsi.edu.

CHEAP LIFE cont. on page 22

Cleaning

(exam required)

First Sunday at OMSI Everyone knows the Oregon Museum of Science and Industry is best experienced with a good buzz and without a bunch of screaming kids running headlong into your shins, which is why OMSI After Dark is often so crowded it’s not worth the $13 admission. If you’re actually looking to tour the Earthquake House and that creepy hall of fetuses rather than treat the place like the city’s nerdiest meat market, the better bang for your buck is the first Sunday of each month, when general admission is only $2. You’ll have to put up with all the brats, but without the

$49 Basic

& Cleaning

(new patients age 12 and under)

Professional

$99 Home

Whitening

(exam required)

(503) 546-9079 222 NW 10th Avenue www.sundbergdentistry.com Willamette Week MARCH 18, 2015 wweek.com

Willamette Week MARCH 18, 2015 wweek.com

CONT.

CHEAP LIFE

alcohol, maybe you’ll finally solve one of those damned brain puzzles. MATTHEW SINGER.

Fourth Friday at PAM 1219 SW Park Ave., 226-2811, portlandartmuseum.org. Unless you’re on a K-12 field trip, it’ll cost $15 to tour the Portland Art Museum. Or make it your Friday happy hour. On the last Friday of every month, you can avoid the school tours and admire the Crumpcracker Family Library and extensive Native art collection. There’s nothing more rewarding than getting priceless for free, from 5 to 8 pm on the last Friday of every month. ENID SPITZ.

World Forestry Center A fixture of Washington Park since 1971, the World Forestry Center’s Discovery Museum (4033 SW Canyon Road, 228-1367, worldforestry.org) boasts that “it will change the way you look at trees,” which seems mighty presumptuous. Through its virtual tours of various forest types, the museum insists it will convince skeptics that these arboreal nuisances exist for reasons other than just keeping leaf removal companies in business. Admission is typically $9 for adults, but gets lowered to $3 on the first Thursday of the month, which is a hell of a deal to gaze upon the center’s collection of petrified wood. MATTHEW SINGER.

Free Pool... Like swimming pools, pool tables should always be free. Here’s why: If you’re terrible, it’s no fun, and if you’re excellent, it’s too fast. Anyway, here are the free Portland tables, by neighborhood, in a list by no means exhaustive. MATTHEW KORFHAGE. BURNSIDE/STARK: Goodfoot (2845 SE Stark St., 239-9292,

thegoodfoot.com) has free pool on four tables till 9 pm.

Angelo’s (4620 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 231-0337) is free all day, as are two tables at Hawthorne Hideaway (2221 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 445-4600). On Sundays, Back Stage Bar (3702 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 249-7474, mcmenamins.com) has free pool in a setting that looks like Tom Waits’ dreams. Belmont Inn (3357 SE Belmont St., 232-1998, belmontsinn.com), which looks like Waits’ actual memories, has free pool Sundays, Thursdays and every day before 4 pm. HAWTHORNE/BELMONT:

ern & Pool (1716 NW 23rd Ave., 227-0929, mcmenamins. com) has free pool until 5 pm and all day Mondays. Every other Monday is league play, however. Alberta/Killingsworth: Concordia Ale House (3276 NE Killingsworth St., 287-3929, concordia-ale.com) has an insane mess of beer taps and bottles, and free pool all day. Kenton: Amid ramshackle beauty, the World Famous Kenton Club (2025 N Kilpatrick St., 285-3718, kentonclub. com) has free pool till 6 pm daily, plus all day Tuesday.

DIVISION/CLINTON: Clinton Street Pub (2516 SE Clinton

St., 236-7137) has free pool, if you’re lucky enough to get a table.

FOSTER-POWELL: DV8 strip club (5021 SE Powell Blvd., 772-

2907, dv8.cc) has free tables Sundays in a bar section separate from the dancin’. SELLWOOD: Sellwood Public House (8132 SE 13th Ave.,

736-0179, sellwoodpublichouse.com) has public pool, free. Riverside Corral strip club (525 SE Tacoma St., 2326813, riversidecorral.com) has free pool Sunday all day and Mondays after 7 pm.

DOWNTOWN: Rialto (529 SW 4th Ave., 228-7605, rialtopoolroom.com) has two hours of free pool Sundays and Mondays, with too many tables to count on two hands, provided you buy a drink or a meal. Berbati (10 SW 3rd Ave., 226-2122, berbati.com) is free Sunday and 4 to 7 pm daily.

The Pearl: Brix Tavern (1338 NW Hoyt St., 943-5995, brixtavern.com) is always free for snooker, and has the weirdest drink specials in Portland. McMenamins Tav-

Cheap Flicks... People have been bitching about the price of movies since the days of penny matinees, but with multiplex prices hitting an all-time high—most major-chain matinees start at $8.50, and that’s before 3-D and IMAX boosts—those miserly gripes are finally justified. Luckily, Portland’s in the golden age of cheapskate moviegoing. And luckier still, the majority of theaters serve beer. AP KRYZA. Looking for a first-run blockbuster? Matinees at the underrated Cinemagic (2021 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 2317919, thecinemagictheater.com) are only $5. If you’re looking for something more arthouse or grindhouse, the Hollywood Theatre (4122 NE Sandy Blvd., 281-4215, hollywoodtheatre.org) is also $5, the same price as artier films Monday and Tuesday at the posh Living Room Theaters (341 SW 10th Ave., 222-2010, pdx.livingroomtheaters.com).

If you’re willing to wait for certain blockbusters, you can watch them on the region’s biggest screen at OMSI’s Empirical Theater (1945 SE Water Ave., 955-6674, omsi.edu) for $7—that’s $10 less than the inferior IMAX theaters, and with cheaper beer (yup, OMSI is a beer theater). And, of course, if first-run, high-quality stuff isn’t your bag, you’re in paradise. $4 gets you a wide variety of second-run and revival screenings, including 35 mm revivals at PSU’s student-run 5th Avenue Cinema (510 SW Hall St., 725-3551, 5thavecinema.com); Hollywood films at Kennedy School (5736 NE 33rd Ave., 248-3983, mcmenamins.com) and Mission Theater (1624 NW Glisan St., 223-4527, missiontheaterpdx.com); and a mix of revivals and not-yet-Netflix-available fare screened with pizza and cheap beer at Laurelhurst Theater (2735 E Burnside St., 232-5511, laurelhursttheater.com) and the Academy (7818 SE Stark St., 252-0500, academytheaterpdx.com). Still pinching your Goobers money? Kennedy School has a standing deal that gets you a pint, a ticket and a slice of pizza for $12. Mission Theater offers $2 tickets on Tuesday, and on the same day the Academy offers them for $2 each if you buy four. And if you’re feeling really cheap, the Joy Cinema (11959 SW Pacific Highway, Tigard, 971-245-6467, thejoycinema. com) offers a free Weird Wednesday series, where booze runs cheap and you get free admission to the bizarre revival screenings. They’re usually obscure horror flicks, though if you’re driving all the way out to Tigard just to save money on movies, you’ve already got a pretty good grasp on horror. Willamette Week MARCH 18, 2015 wweek.com

COMING SOON! Portland, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re used to reading what Willamette Week thinks is best. Now, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s your turn to tell us your favorites! Nominate who you think is the Best of Portland March 25th to April 29th Voting process for the winners will be June 3rd to June 30th. For more information visit wweek.com/top200ww For advertising opportunities email advertising@wweek.com 24

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STREET

LOOKS WE LIKE SNAPSHOTS FROM THE WEEK. Photos by Katie Den n is wweek.com/street

Willamette Week MARCH 18, 2015 wweek.com

FOOD: Fire and Stone makes great pies. ARCHITECTURE: A tastefully decadent city office building. MUSIC: Down the Wikipedia wormhole with Rasheed Jamal. MOVIES: Dystopian YA that isn’t The Hunger Games.

28 31 33 48

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COOLER THAN A COOLER. M AT T H e W S I N G e R

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words and guitar: She’s on your television and in your headphones, and come this fall, she’ll be on your bookshelf. Carrie Brownstein’s memoir will be published Oct. 27. Taking its title from a Sleater-Kinney lyric, Hunger Makes Me a Modern Girl is described by the publisher as a “d eeply personal and revealing narrative of Brownstein’s life in music, from ardent fan brownstein to pioneering female guitarist to comedic performer and luminary in the independent rock world.” According to NME, the book ends with Sleater-Kinney’s initial breakup in 2006 and doesn’t delve much into Portlandia. So if you’re mostly familiar with Brownstein as an actress, consider this an easy way to catch up on her pre-Armisen years. all about the branding: Hawthorne Strip will join an elite club this year, alongside Apizza Scholls, Belmont Station and Old Town Music: places whose names no longer make any sense whatsoever. The tiny strip club closed in February at its Hawthorne Boulevard location because the landlord is rehabbing the building, and will move to Southeast 35th Avenue and Powell Boulevard, in the old Glimmers space. But it’s keeping the name, says owner Jared Gallop. Apparently “Powell Strip” just doesn’t ring the same bell.

less hand-to-Mouth: Hand2Mouth theater company got a big break this month. Actually, three. Artistic director Jonathan Walters will finally get a salary thanks to $25,000 from the Meyer Memorial Trust. Another $8,000 grant, from the Collins Foundation, means no more hustling to produce Hand2Mouth’s new project, Time, a Fair Hustler, premiering this July. And one more: Oregon Humanities gave $3,375 for the company’s reworking of My Own Private Idaho, a retrospective on how Portland has changed since Gus Van Sant’s film, including three public panel discussions. Hand2Mouth is touring Oregon with a sportsthemed, femaleempowerment play, Pep Talk, including a gig at Coffee Creek Correctional Facility, a women’s prison in PeP Talk Wilsonville. 26

Willamette Week MARCH 18, 2015 wweek.com

ANNA CAMPBell

Conduit shown the door: International fitness company StudioNia is evicting Conduit Dance studio and school after 20 years in the Pythian Building’s fourth-floor studio at 918 SW Yamhill St. When the economy tanked, StudioNia bought out Conduit’s lease and sublet the studio for a price the nonprofit could afford. The two had “irreconcilable differences,” according to Conduit’s announcement. “Like any roommates, we’ve had our differences,” artistic co-director Tere Mathern told WW. Negotiations started in February with Conduit lobbying to stay in the space through December, but last week StudioNia announced March 18 as move-out day. “It was a sudden request,” Mathern says. Conduit appealed for manpower and storage space and is searching for new locations. StudioNia representatives declined to comment and founder Debbie Rosas was traveling when we called.

F HEADOUT O A E TALE L A H AW

GO: March 21 to 28 is whale-watching week at the Oregon Coast. Information at oregonstateparks.org.

WILLAMETTE WEEK

WHAT TO DO THIS WEEK IN ARTS & CULTURE

THE STORY OF ETHELBERT, THE BRAVE LITTLE ORCA WHO SWAM TO PORTLAND.

One day, while swimming along in the cold sea, Ethelbert became curious about the warm waters flowing from the river in a little village called Astoria.

The waters of the river were nice and warm, so Ethelbert kept swimming. Farther and farther he went, up and up the river.

Ethelbert went past the smelly town of Longview where he held his breath under the water and past the tall totem pole in Kalama.

After 100 miles of swimming, Ethelbert got to a spot where the river split in two. He got confused, and swam around in circles.

Eventually, Ethelbert got so confused that he accidentally swam into the Columbia Slough, a shallow, narrow floodplain where he got stuck in the mud.

Around and around he swam in the warm and shallow waters.

This was in a village called Portland. A man who drove a milk wagon saw Ethelbert from the shore and called for others to come take a look.

A good and wise man named Julius Meier, who owned a prosperous village store and was governor of the state, yelled at the villagers to stop shooting, and they did.

The villagers were scared because he was so large and strong and black, so they started shooting at him.

The Oregon Humane Society came to see Ethelbert. They knew that Ethelbert would never get back to sea, and they were sad. They said Ethelbert should be “painlessly destroyed by dynamite.” That’s what people in Oregon thought you should do with beached whales before 1970.

The men killed Ethelbert but were arrested before they could take away his body. They escaped jail but were so hated that they moved to St. Helens, downwind of Longview.

But before they could blow up Ethelbert with dynamite, two very bad men named Edward and Joseph Lessard got a blacksmith to make a harpoon. They chartered a motorboat to go out and stab the whale.

And that is the story of Ethelbert, the whale who swam to Portland.

S O U R C E S : “ P O R T L A N D ’ S E T H E L B E R T, ” T I M E M A G A Z I N E , N O V. 9 , 1 9 3 1 , A N D “ T H E S H O R T, T R A G I C H I S T O R Y O F W H A L I N G I N S I D E P O R T L A N D C I T Y L I M I T S , ” T H E P E N D L E T O N R E C O R D , N O V. 6 , 2 0 1 4 . / I L L U S T R AT I O N B Y K E N N E T H H U E Y

WEDNESDAY MARCH 18

any years ago, an orca whale named Ethelbert lived in the Pacific Ocean where he swam around in a pod with his family and friends who he loved very much.

TALIB KWELI AND IMMORTAL TECHNIQUE [HIP-HOP’S CONSCIENCE] These conscious-rap kings are both nearing 40, but while their youth may be fading, their popularity has not. Both are fervent sociopolitical critics, have anticipated 2015 solo releases and remain two of underground hip-hop’s long-recognized masters of the verbal quick jab. Roseland Theater, 8 NW 6th Ave., 230-0033. 8 pm. $23. All ages. THIRD MAN [FILM] Berlin-based performance artist Erik Bünger argues the sound of music is infectious in a multimedia presentation on film sounds, from The Sound of Music to Dawn of the Dead. See AP Film Studies for more. PICA, 415 SW 10th Ave., 242-1419, pica.org. 7:30 pm. $8. All ages.

FRIDAY MARCH 20 AMY SCHUMER [COMEDY] Inside Amy Schumer was Comedy Central’s highest-rated premier in 2013, and she’s gained fame since poking fun at sexy selfies and Say Yes to the Dress of Mostly Sex Stuff. This summer she’ll star alongside Tilda Swinton in Judd Apatow’s Trainwreck, which she cowrote. Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, 1037 SW Broadway, 248-4335. 8 pm. $46.50-$54.50. LOUDER THAN WORDS [DANCE] The world premier of London dancer Ihsan Rustem’s “New Creation” marks his reunion with Northwest Dance Project after their 2010 Sadler’s Wells Global Dance Contest victory. It’s followed by NW Dance favorites “Blue” and “Casual Act,” on a rotating stage. Newmark Theater, 1111 SW Broadway, 248-4335. 7:30 pm. $29-$52.

SATURDAY MARCH 21 CIDER RITE OF SPRING [GENRE] The fruits of the local cider boom, all in the same place: 30 nearby cideries, from Reverend Nat’s and Wandering Aengus to hotoff-the-juice-press nanocideries like Hedgerow and Alter Ego. Food will be available, as will bluegrass. Tiffany Center, 1410 SW Morrison St., 2345404, ext. 25. Noon-5 pm. $25-$30 for 10 tastings.

MONDAY MARCH 23 THE DONKEYS [GOOD VIBRATIONS] The Donkeys are a quintessential California band whose recent effort, Ride the Black Wave, brims with Pavement-esque solos, spacey vocals, CSNY harmonies and a vibe fit to soundtrack a surfing documentary. Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison St., 239-7639, holocene. org. 8:30 pm. $10. 21+. COCKTAILS ON TAP [BOOZE] Multnomah Whiskey Library’s Jacob Grier stumps for beer cocktails in his new book, Cocktails on Tap. To prove his point, he’ll march everyone over to the Whiskey Library after the bookstore event to ply them with beer cocktails. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside, 228-4651, powells.com. 7:30 pm. Free.

Willamette Week MARCH 18, 2015 wweek.com

FOOD & DRINK JENNIFER MARIE PLITZKO

REVIEW

= WW Pick. Highly recommended. By MATTHEW KORFHAGE. Editor: MARTIN CIZMAR. Email: dish@wweek.com. See page 3 for submission instructions.

THURSDAY, MARCH 19 Brew Hog

Each Thursday, North 45 features a different brewer to host on their taps, with cheap brews from each. This time around, you’ll get $3 Pfriem from one of Pfriem’s own brewers, in a place that serves smoked ribs. North 45, 517 NW 21st Ave, 248-6317. 6-9 pm.

FRIDAY, MARCH 20 Macaron Day PDX

Fifteen shops, from Pix to Farina to Maurice to Papa Haydn to event sponsor Nuvrei, will offer a free macaron—possibly a special macaron created just for that day—provided you donate to Meals on Wheels. Two dollars is the suggested donation, so mostly what’s happening is that you donate to charity and so does the baker. But you—you lucky devil— you eat a macaron in the bargain. Make Nuvrei your first stop and get a tote bag with a map, and a chance to get a $100 gift certificate to Nuvrei. See macarondaypdx.com for details. Multiple locations.

SATURDAY, MARCH 21 Thali Supper Club

cookbook swaps, and kids’ activities like scavenger hunts and chicken-coop tours. The Redd, 831 SE Salmon St. 10 am-2 pm. Free.

Cider Rite of Spring

Want to sample the fruits of the local cider boom all in the same place? Portland’s ode to hometown craft cider, Cider Rite of Spring, goes into its second year this month with at least 25 nearby cideries, from the big boys like Reverend Nat’s, Wandering Aengus and Square Mile to hot-off-the-juicepresses nanocideries like Hedgerow and Alter Ego. Food will be available, as will bluegrass. Tiffany Center, 1410 SW Morrison St., 234-5404, ext. 25. Noon-5 pm. $25-$30 for 10 tastings.

Where to eat this week 1. Tapalaya

28 NE 28th Ave., 232-6652, tapalaya.com. Chef Anh Luu’s Viet-Cajun mash-up is bringing the real flavors of modern New Orleans, with star anise in the crawfish boil and shrimp paste and lime and chili in the étouffée. Check out the specials menu for the fun stuff. $$.

The Indian pop-up’s next dinner will be a 12-course meal themed as a culinary journey along the Grand Trunk Road from Kabul to Kolkata, beginning with lamb kabobs with cashew and white poppy, continuing through a pistachioalmond quail and mango- and fennelstuffed okra, before rounding out with a jaggery-sweetened spiced yogurt dessert. BYOB. Din Din Supper Club, 920 NE Glisan St., 544-1350. 6 pm. $70.

2. Pollo-tico

Lucubrator Release and Pig Roast

2816 SE Stark St., 922-1858, canteenpdx.com. The little black box on Stark Street may be known for kale smoothies, but in a taste test, we found Canteen’s vegan bowls to be the best in the city, especially the barbecue soy curled Southern bowl. $.

Beer and a big ol’ pig roast. In honor of, but not quite on, St. Joseph’s feast day, Occidental will be tapping a barrel-aged version of their Lucubrator doppelbock—which, as the name says, will lubricate you quite handily. It’s also a pig roast, however, which means the smell of pork will fill the air. For $15, you’ll get both a beer and a mighty, mighty—almost medieval—pork sandwich. Occidental Brewing Co., 6635 N Baltimore Ave., 719-7102. 1 pm.

CSA Share Fair

Oh dear Lord, speed dating for crop shares. Show up to Ecotrust’s new eastside building the Redd on Saturday morning and be greeted with 30 or more farmers with CSA options, and be matched with the one who best suits your needs. It sure beats being stuck with 16 pounds of kale when all you eat is gluten. Being that this is a wholesome thing run by wholesome people, there will also be chef demos,

Southwest 3rd Avenue and Oak street, 971-258-2845, pollo-tico.com. Peruvian-style rotisserie chicken, cooked on a real charcoal rotisserie imported from Lima till it gets that dark and crusty spiced skin you want. Order it online by 2:30 pm, pick it up by 6 pm on your way home. Perfecto. $-$$.

3. Canteen

4. Kabob House

11795 SW Beaverton-Hillsdale Highway, Beaverton, 672-9229. Maybe I’m an unserious person, but every time Obama and Bibi get in a fight about Iran, my stomach growls. The Kabob House is comfort food straight from the Persian soul. $-$$.

5. Farina Bakery

1852 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 971-340-9734, farinabakery.com. Macaron Day is March 20, man. Time to get some—and, you know, be nice to charity and such. Farina’s macarons are the best in town, so you should make sure that’s a stop on the trail (but don’t neglect Maurice, Nuvrei, etc.). $.

Cuisine of Northern China 3724 NE Broadway (503) 287-0331 28

Willamette Week MARCH 18, 2015 wweek.com

Pies On POint: Fire and stone’s pizza is already among northeast’s best.

STONE IN SHOE

worse: nothing but monkey bread ($3), a very cakey version without much sugar or cinnamon, and with no stickiness to speak of. Obviously, any new spot has to balance supply and demand, but given the typical markup, most bakeries err on the side of leftovers. Sometimes it’s the simple things that make an experience. Fire and Stone opened with an oddly strict seating policy, which may annoy some would-be regulars. My very pregnant wife was told By Ma rTin CizM a r mcizmar@wweek.com to stand waiting for 10 minutes because not everyone in the party was present, even as four tables sat Fire and Stone says it wants to be a “neighborhood empty. On a subsequent visit, I was shown right to spot.” That’s always sounded like a sheepish goal a table, where I waited comfortably with my beer. And yet, all is forgiven when the pizzas ($12-$15) to me. Why not be a destination? Home to the best Patagonian-style salchichas con chucrut in the coun- show up. These are traditional Neapolitan pies, try! A devoted crowd and fawning from the foodie- with only a slight char and crust that’s paper thin and hyperelastic, recalling gluten-based Lycra, sphere! It makes things easy on writers, at least. It wasn’t until my fifth visit to this new pizzeria and does a wonderful job of showcasing the slightly and bakery on Northeast Fremont Street that the fruity marinara and goopy mozzarella. Best of all difficulty of opening a successful new “neighbor- is a salami pie with gamey Molinari ($12), which hood spot” registered. Here we have a place with has a nice interplay of heat, sweetness and salt. The drink program, on the other hand, needs an experienced staff focused on a trending dish a tuneup. I send back wine or beer and doing a lot right, and yet, after maybe once a year, but have returned three months, they still have so Order this: Salami pizza ($12) and lamb shank ($28). both at Fire and Stone. An Oregon much to work on. Fire and Stone opened in late i’ll pass: Breakfast, meatballs, pinot blanc on tap was oxidized and eggplant parmesan. an Upright dark rye was flat and staleDecember in a former mini-mart, tasting. A mix-it-yourself ginger syrup which has been pa inted brig ht orange and outfitted with big, sturdy reclaimed fir and soda quickly became ginger-touched water. booths and long banquettes. Behind the bar, shiny Appetizers and entrees are a roller-coaster ride. black-charred beams are inlaid to make a handAmong the starters, a plate of “warm” olives some mural. The marquee goes to wood-fired pizza ($4) is magma hot, with tongue-singeing pits. A on a springy, Neapolitan-style crust, but there’s plate of meatballs ($11) is packed like slushy snowalso a cafe and bakery making palmiers, monkey balls and served in a discordant and aggressively bread and coffee. smoky marinara. But the house bread is excellent, Leave it to a veteran crew to try all this. Owner especially a tangy brown sourdough, as is a citrus Jeff Smalley comes from Grand Central Bakery. salad ($11) made from a haystack of pleasantly bitThe other principals include former Little Bird ter stalks accented with a few slices of citrus and Bistro GM Juliana Santos and Joey Alvarez, for- buttery oven-roasted almonds. merly of Ken’s Artisan Pizza. The neighborhood Vegetarians, beware: Among the entrees is an is by all appearances desperate for family-friendly oil-soggy and overly salty eggplant Parmesan ($15). middlebrow dining—service staff at nearby bars in But lamb-lovers, rejoice: The spendiest dish on the area call it “Blow-mont,” and not because of the the menu, a princely $28 shank that’s served with coke. Yet, if there’s anything a neighborhood spot earthy onion bulbs, slightly chewy white beans and needs to offer, it’s a consistent experience. Fire and an umami-intense gravy, is incredible. Between Stone is still struggling with that. that lamb and the pizza, Fire and Stone has dishes Let’s start with breakfast, which is served out of I’d happily make a 15-minute drive for. But to get the side room where the Forno Bravo oven sits. I’ve the family down the street to stop in every Friday? had two unlucky visits, once at 8 am and once at Well, that suddenly seems like a tougher goal. 10 am. On my first visit, they had but four pastries left. “Somebody just came and cleaned us out for a GO: Fire and Stone, 3707 NE Fremont St., 7197195, fireandstonepdx.com. work meeting,” the clerk said. The 10 am visit was

FIRE AND STONE NEEDS SOME POLISH TO BE BEAUMONT’S PIZZERIA.

D AV I D L . R E A M E R

DRANK

FOOD & DRINK Happy Hour Monday–Saturday 4–6pm & 8pm–close

Walk-Up Window 11am - 2pm

La Calaca Comelona 2304 SE Belmont | 503-239-9675 4-10pm Mon–Sat

JACOB GRIER, COCKTAILS ON TAP One week, it seems every fashionable cocktail is supposed to include some defunct European digestif resurrected for obscurity’s sake, and the next it’s bacon-infused everything. So why’s it an important gesture to plunk a beer into a mai tai—even if adding Oregon’s favorite export to an overly sweet standby makes complete sense? Multnomah Whiskey Library bartender and cocktail impresario Jacob Grier has devoted an entire book, Cocktails on Tap: The Art of Mixing Spirits and Beer (Stewart, Tabori & Chang, 160 pages, $24.95), to making a case for the IPA or IRA as mixer. Grier, a D.C. native who’s worked in Portland bars from Carlyle to Metrovino, began playing with the beer cocktail after meeting New School Beer’s Ezra Johnson-Greenough while behind the bar at the Hop & Vine. Johnson-Greenough, a fellow beer nerd, saw no good reason not to punch up stodgy cocktail classics with the adventurous brews of Portland’s booming craft-beer scene. Grier tried his hand at a 2009 Oregon Bartender’s Guild event and was drawn to the bitter, aromatic quality of Northwest IPAs, an ingredient that appears frequently throughout Cocktails on Tap. At his home, Grier made the aforementioned mai tai using Breakside’s award-winning IPA, and its bitterness and floral finish did wonders to balance the cloying sweetness that otherwise plagues the mai tai. Grier’s kitchen was stocked with more than 30 types of bitters, but he believes IPAs can do the same job as that much more common whiskey-drink mixer. Cocktails on Tap largely neglects some logical frontiers like the use of stouts and porters in sweet after-dinner cocktails, but the book does go the extra mile to offer insights and history of the craft to accompany his relatively easy-to-follow recipes, from a hefeweizen-spiced Harvey Wallbanger or sidecar to a caipirinha bittered with IPA. He wants you to try most of these drinks, and devotes considerable attention to making the recipes as accessible as possible. But it’s just as important to him to advocate for craft beer as a valid cocktail mixer, not just—as some might suspect—a diluting agent in otherwise potent drinks. The last-minute addition of an index with personal renditions of popular cocktails is worth the price of the book alone, but you’ve got to dig through the back pages to find it. Grier is still experimenting with beertails, and his work is far from done, but the knowledge he’s gained in the past seven years offers a great starting point for armchair bartenders trying to ratchet up the sophistication of their home experiments. That is, unless you just want to keep on adding orange juice and tequila to a High Life and calling it a Milwaukee sunrise. PETE COTTELL. GO: Jacob Grier speaks at Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside, on Monday, March 23. 7:30 pm. Free. The event resumes at 9 pm at Multnomah Whiskey Library, 1124 SW Alder St., with beer cocktails and punches from Grier’s book. 21+ at the Whiskey Library.

Springwater Farm

Wild & Exotic Mushrooms

9-2 Sat Portland Farmer’s Market Nettles in Season

Beyond the Print

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*Le Cordon Bleu in North America had more culinary graduates in the USA than any other national network of culinary schools, for the years 2006 to 2013 Source: IPEDS. **By texting to the short code, you acknowledge giving Le Cordon Bleu consent to contact you by phone or text message. You understand these calls/texts are generated using automated dialing systems and this consent is not required to purchase services from Le Cordon Bleu. Le Cordon Bleu® and the Le Cordon Bleu logo are registered marks of Career Education Corporation in North America for educational services. Find employment rates, financial obligations and other disclosures at www.chefs.edu/disclosures. Le Cordon Bleu cannot guarantee employment or salary. Credits are unlikely to transfer. 806977 10/14 Willamette Week MARCH 18, 2015 wweek.com

FIND A PAPER

420 GUIDE

Find all oF our WW Box locations at

Reserve your ad in WW’s 420 Guide today! This special section will feature a complete listing of 420 events, a look at Weedery Tours, throwback strains, women in weed, and more!

wweek.com/findapaper

GEORGE CLINTON MEET & GREET / AUTOGRAPH SESSION Wednesday, March 18th, 4PM Meet the Prime Minister of Funk, George Clinton, the founder and frontman of legendary groups like Parliament, Funkadelic & Parliament Funkadelic, making an appearance in support of his new album with Funkadelic, ‘First Ya Gotta Shake The Gate’, and his memoir, “Brothas Be, Yo, Like George, Ain’t That Funkin’ Kinda Hard on You?”.

Hear ‘Carrie & Lowell’, the new album from Sufjan Stevens, 10 days before the official release! Saturday, 3/21 @ 1PM

WIL BLADES

Saturday, March 21st @ 3PM Blades, a native Chicagoan, has become the San Francisco Bay Area’s first call organist and is rapidly gaining momentum internationally. His new album with Jeff Parker & Simon Lott is titled, ‘Field Notes’.

COOLEY

Publishes: April 15, 2015 Space Reservation & Materials Deadline: Thursday, April 9 at 10am

Call: 503.243.2122 | Email: advertising@wweek.com

BAR GUIDE

PORTLAND GUIDES WILLAMETTE WEEK

Portland Guides

2014

RESTAURANT OF THE

BEER GUIDE

INSIDE

YEAR

Saturday, March 21st @ 5PM Singer, songwriter, and entertainer David Cooley presents ‘COOLEY’, a diverse 10 song original music CD that spans at least five musical genres – effortlessly – reflecting years of performing covers in cocktail bars, rock clubs and event centers.

PORTLAND GUIDES

WILLAMETTE WEEK

DARIUS LUX

Monday, March 23rd @ 6PM Combining his love of 60’s songwriting, 70’s soul, 80’s pop and 90’s hip-hop into a current mix of soulful, rock-edged pop tunes, Darius has found his voice on his new album, “We The Living”.

BUXTON

Thursday, March 26th @ 6PM Buxton’s forthcoming album, Half A Native, signals a departure from the rustic sound they have become known for and adds elements of indie rock, psychedelia, honky-tonk, ambience and distortion, resulting in their most realized album to date.

So many bars, so little time. Our annual Bar Guide gives readers the lowdown on where to load up. We do the dirty work of exploring the city’s bars, taverns, lounges, and pubs to produce a curated list of the best and most interesting places to imbibe, including our Bar of The Year.

BARPublishes: GUIDE April 15, 2015 willamette week’s

april 9, 2014

willamette week

Space Reservation & Materials Deadline: Thursday, April 2 at 10am

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Willamette Week MARCH 18, 2015 wweek.com

DESIGN

E N v i R O N m E N TA L S E R v i c E S , c i T y O F P O R T L A N D

culture

M M M

L A

A D

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J eco roof

A M

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M M

PuBlic area off limits

O S

F O P

E B B R

ON THE GROUNDS:

MUSEUM QUALITY: Critics call this $11.5 million office building for 38 city employees wasteful, but no one alleges it’s tacky.

E R i c H A R D S c H U LT z ’ S PEDAL cOLLEcTiON w H i T E D i N i N G TA b L E

R i c H A R D S c H U LT z ’ S 1 9 6 6 cOLLEcTiON SiNGLE ROckER & DOUbLE ROckER

R i c H A R D S c H U LT z ’ S 1 9 6 6 cOLLEcTiON DiNiNG cHAiRS

A. Eight dining chairs from Richard Schultz’s 1966 collection ($833 each) / B. Two rocking chairs from Schultz’s 1966 collection ($1,189 each) / C. One double rocking chair from Schultz’s 1966 collection ($1,546) / D. Two white petal dining tables from Schultz’s petal collection ($1,535 each) / E. One white petal coffee table from Schultz’s petal collection ($1,482) / F. Two Jehs & Laub lounge chairs with pedestal bases ($1,933 each) / G. Two Ross Lovegrove rectangular tables ($1,789 each) / H. 79 square feet of Tai Ping carpet ($5,200) / I. Tile mosaic of the aerial view of Portland ($19,225, plus an additional $40,000 to modify materials during construction because “the specified system for printing aerial photograph on glazed tiles had not been tested during design.”) / J. Thirteen-plane, grass-covered eco-roof ($30,000 to add barriers to prevent soil from sliding off because the angle is too steep. $80,000 in other design changes) / K. Gas grill built into the patio / L. Bastion, an unfinished sculpture commissioned for the Percent for Art program. Expected to be installed in five years ($125,000 per the audit report, not based on final budget) / M. Large windowpanes along exterior that were more expensive because they were not available locally. / N. Heron etching on front door / O. Restroom doors with human silhouettes made from images of local wildlife / P. Stainless steel sink with canal to reduce spillage ($15,000) / Q. Taller restroom-stall doors that match the height of the mirror to improve overall feng shui / R. Unnecessary miniature second patio / S. Free reading material for the public

JEHS & LAUb LOUNGE cHAiR

DEAN MARRIOTT’S SEWER PALACE SURE, THE CITY’S $11.5 MILLION OFFICE BUILDING FOR SEWAGE ENGINEERS IS UNNECESSARILY DECADENT. BUT IT’S ALSO QUITE TASTEFUL. By j o h n l o c a n t h i

jlocanthi@wweek .com

Mallard-hen couples rest on concrete beds in a pond off to the side of the patio. The sun, strong but not overbearing, gleams down on this abnormally idyllic March afternoon. I rest my arm on the top of the stainless steel grill—one of two on this swanky patio—to enjoy the view of a neighboring pond, which is sometimes stocked with goldfish. “Looks like the 3:05 blue heron isn’t here yet,” an engineer says. “Mind if I use this grill while we wait for it?” I ask. I have two sausages from Fred Meyer’s deli counter in my messenger bag, and they aren’t getting any fresher. “I can’t see any reason to fire up the grill,” says Linc Mann, spokesman for the Portland Bureau of Environmental Services and today’s tour guide. I am in a city-owned space—this patio is

part of an office complex Portlanders paid which insisted on Tai Ping carpet squares $11.5 million for and which houses just to go under Jehs & Laub lounge chairs sold 38 employees—and yet I am not welcome at Design Within Reach—the deck overto use this grill. That privilege is reserved looking the pond and kitchen may open to for the people who work here at Dean the public starting this summer. Marriott’s Sewer Palace, home to what So WW decided to revisit this monumay number among the finest collections ment to lax oversight and great taste. But of Richard Schultz’s furniture outside of alas, much of the art is in the private galthe Museum of Modern Art in New York, lery. (Read: not in the lobby or restrooms.) Some background: In 2007, the BES where he once had a one-man show. It’s easy to forget when you’re at 5001 N recognized it needed a new, permanent Columbia Blvd. that you’re bu i ld i ng to replace t he moldy trailers its employkicking back at one of the premier publicly f unded ONLINE: See our video tour ees had been working in for 15 yea rs (“Space of boondoggles of the past few at wweek.com/sewerpalace. years. Dean Marriott’s Folly, Wa st e,” W W, A pr i l 30, the Shining Porta-John on 2014). The initial budget the Hill or, if you’re being official about it, approved in 2009 was $3.2 million. By the time the BES moved into the finished “the Columbia Building.” It ’s been a year and a half after it Columbia Building, the price had swelled opened to anger and guffaws because to $11.5 million. That averages to just over the cost of the building ballooned to over $300,000 per worker. As many observthree times its initial budget under the ers have noted, that’s enough to buy each watchful eye of Marriott, the former BES engineer a house. One might raise an eyebrow over director (and unofficial art curator) who approving a budget before consulting resigned earlier this year. After much outcry—WW, KOIN, The either a designer or architect. Or then Oregonian and others covered the wild choosing Skylab Architecture, a firm most cost overruns that came from hiring one famous for designing the posh rooftop bar of the city’s trendiest architecture firms, Departure. Or letting an architect who

isn’t licensed in the state lead the project. Or spending only $27,000 on “design oversight,” and $110,000 to fix the problems caused by the overly steep roof favored by the aforementioned architect. Or spending $408,000 on furnishings, including two $1,500 dining tables and eight $830 matching dining chairs. Or why, given the ostensible justification for the chic furnishings—an advisor y committee requested that the building offer public meeting space—the building is still not available to the public nearly a year and a half after completion. Does a publicly funded building need a $2,000 midcentury modern lounge chair? (Keep in mind that the bargain-hunting BES acquired these Jehs & Laub lounge chairs with pedestal bases for $1,933 each, over $1,000 less than they retail at Design Within Reach.) Or a $1,500 Richard Schultz white petal coffee table? Or a $15,000 restroom sink with a malfunctioning soap dispenser? It doesn’t matter, Portland. The money is spent. We, the taxpayers, own a decadent yet tasteful workspace for wastewater engineers that includes two grills on a private patio overlooking a pond and a $19,225 tile mosaic of Portland from above. All we can do now is try to enjoy it as best we can. At the top of the page, you’ll find some of the more gripping and luxuriant works in Dean Marriott’s Sewer Palace. Willamette Week MARCH 18, 2015 wweek.com

Willamette Week MARCH 18, 2015 wweek.com

MUSIC

march 18–24 PROFILE

= WW Pick. Highly recommended.

M A R T I N VA N L O N D E N / V L V I S U A L S

Prices listed are sometimes for advance ticket sales. At-the-door increases and socalled convenience charges may apply. Event lineups are subject to change after WW’s press deadlines. Editor: MATTHEW SINGER. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, go to wweek.com/ submitevents and follow submission directions. All shows should be submitted two weeks or more in advance of event. Press kits, CDs and especially vinyl can be sent to Music Desk, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Please include show or release date information with all physical mailings. Email: msinger@wweek.com. Fax: 243-1115.

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 18 Bakermat, Tyler Tastemaker, Drexler

[DUTCH HOUSE] My liberal arts education has primed me to bristle at cultural appropriation, so when a Dutch DJ positively strip-mines mid-20thcentury black culture—the “I Have a Dream” speech and double-dutch jump-rope chants both turn up in Bakermat’s handful of singles—I get the bad kind of goose bumps. “Teach Me,” Bakermat’s just-printed Ultra Records release, is less an original track than a rearrangement of Shirley Caesar’s gospel clapper “Teach Me Master,” and while the production— which absolutely gives his background away—is sharp and clean, he relies too heavily on sampling, at best. MITCH LILLIE. Branx, 320 SE 2nd Ave., 2345683. 9 pm. $15. 21+.

Frankie and the Witch Fingers, Jackson Boone

[FAR OUT] On the spectrum of “psych rock,” these two bands deliver nearly pure-cut psychedelia. Jackson Boone’s 2014 debut, Starlit, sounds like Pink Floyd if Syd Barrett had stuck around for the Meddle years, and Frankie and the Witch Fingers, who also released their debut last year, evoke images of thick, colorful smoke pumping from twinkling organs. It’ll be a beautiful way to come down from your springbreak acid trip. SHANNON GORMLEY. Bunk Bar, 1028 SE Water Ave., 8949708. 9:30 pm. $5. 21+.

George Clinton & ParliamentFunkadelic, Dirty Revival

[FUNK ON A WHOLE NEWISH LEVEL] George Clinton and whatever assemblage of musicians he happens to be calling Parliament-Funkadelic have made regular trips to Portland the last few years, coasting on a back catalog so significant Clinton himself need only make cameo appearances onstage. But this show may prove slightly different, as this time around, the Godfather of Funk actually has something relatively new to promote. Released last November, First Ya Gotta Shake the Gate, is technically the first album bearing the Funkadelic name in three decades. And it’s a whopper, too: three discs, 33 songs, totaling three and a half hours. It is, expectedly, a mixed bag, with extended groove workouts ranging in tone from the silly to the sociopolitical. It’s not a classic P-Funk album by any means, but if you actually take the time to wade through it all and cherry-pick the highlights, you could pare it down to a solid personal edit. MATTHEW SINGER. Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside St., 2250047. 9 pm. $25 advance, $27 day of show. 21+.

Hank & Cupcakes, Purse Candy, Coco Columbia

[WAGES OF SYNTH POP] The saga of literal drum-and-bass duo—her behind the mic and sticks, him handling the low notes—Hank & Cupcakes reads like a peculiarly Brooklyn fairy tale. Sagit Shir and Ariel Scherbacovsky meet cute as teens in the Israeli Army, study polyrhythmic immersion in Havana, move digs to Williamsburg for rockband dreams, realize their simmering electro-stomp needs no further members, cut ties with BMG after the usual major-label problems with 2013 debut Naked!, and release follow-up Cash 4 Gold late last year. It’s a hugevoiced clubland romp through varied influences surely destined to unite all the world’s peoples along a technicolor dance-floor stretching to the stars. JAY HORTON. Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison St., 239-7639. 8:30 pm. $7 advance, $8 day of show. All ages.

Petunia and the Vipers, Mission Spotlight

[YODEL POWER] Petunia and the Vipers are quite easily one of the most genuine old-time acts out there today. The Canadian group, led by the unmistakable twang of Ron Fortugno, beautifully mash up the dusty, airy sounds of the Old West with rockabilly and Roy Orbison-esque rock ’n’ roll. The group’s self-released, self-titled 2012 album still stands as one of the best leather-clad folk albums of the past decade. It’s the stuff of starry nights in the open country, a cup of coffee in one hand and whiskey in the other. And, if you’re lucky, there might just be some yodeling. MARK STOCK. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 288-3895. 8 pm. $15. 21+.

Immortal Technique and Talib Kweli, Niko Is, CF, Hasan Salaam

[HIP-HOP’S CONSCIENCE] When youth fades, popularity often goes with it, but Immortal Technique and Talib Kweli, two of underground hiphop’s long-recognized masters of the verbal quick jab, haven’t had that problem. The near-40 conscious-rap kings made their names separately but around the same time—Technique as a lauded turn-of-the-century battle-rapper, and Kweli as one-half of Black Star, alongside Mos Def. Both are fervent sociopolitical critics, and have anticipated 2015 solo releases. While they might not be the cutting edge anymore, they still remain two of the best MCs in their lane. PARKER HALL. Roseland Theater, 8 NW 6th Ave., 2242038. 8 pm. $23. All ages.

THURSDAY, MARCH 19 The Weather Machine, Tango Alpha Tango, Human Ottoman

[FOLK] The five-piece Portland folkrock ensemble the Weather Machine— perhaps you recognize them from their rather impressive video shot in every state park in Oregon—celebrates the release of its second album, Peach. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 288-3895. 9 pm. $5. 21+.

Anvil, Lord Dying, Sunlord, Weresquatch

[ANTIQUE METAL] By virtue of the acclaimed 2008 documentary Anvil! The Story of Anvil, the titular ‘80s Canadian metalheads—a real-life Spinal Tap if there ever was one—were, for a fleeting moment, a hard-rock cause celebre. A couple years removed, the band’s settled back into relative obscurity, but to be honest, “unsung hero” is the status that fits them best. Tonic Lounge, 3100 NE Sandy Blvd., 238-0543. 8 pm. $15 advance, $20 day of show. 21+.

FRIDAY, MARCH 20 Rodrigo y Gabriela

[FLAMENCORE] Rodrigo Sanchez and Gabriela Quintero have always wielded their classical guitars as if they were Flying Vs, merging virtuosic flamencostye playing with metal bombast. But last year’s 9 Dead Alive might be the Mexico City duo’s heaviest offering yet. It’s still just the two guitarists, weaving around one another, the only rhythm provided by the percussive strumming. But the tone is darker, the riffs more explicitly rock-influenced, and thematically, it’s crouched in one of metal’s favorite subjects: dead people. Each song is dedicated to influential figures who’ve passed into afterworld, from Harriet Tubman to Fyodor Dostoyevsky. As one might

CONT. on page 34

INFO OVERLOAD RASHEED JAMAL HAS A LOT ON HIS MIND. HE PUT IT ALL ON HIS GREAT NEW ALBUM. BY maTTh EW SIN GEr

msinger@wweek.com

A conversation with Rasheed Jamal is like falling down a Wikipedia rabbit hole. One minute you’re talking about Allen Iverson shoe commercials, then caste systems, then Jean Baudrillard’s Simulacra and Simulation, and as time goes on the path from one subject to another grows increasingly indistinct. The 28-year-old, who’s one-third of Portland rap crew the Resistance, speaks at a more reserved clip than he rhymes, but it’s clear that, behind those thin-rimmed glasses, his synapses are always firing. It’s a byproduct of how he was raised, in a house filled with newspapers, encyclopedias and issues of National Geographic, and a reflection of his divergent career aspirations, which at one point or another have included basketball player, cartoonist, psychiatrist and nuclear physicist. “I read about the life of Buddha in sixth grade,” says Jamal from a table inside Pioneer Place, tugging a black hoodie over his thicket of thin dreads. “That shit affected me so heavy, because he lived so many different lives within that one life, trying to figure out his path. I’ve sort of lived my life that way.” As an outlet for all the information pinging around in his head, rap is the path that has so far served Jamal the best. In the Resistance, if his partners Glenn Waco and Mic Capes embody Chuck D’s adage about hip-hop being the CNN of the streets, then Jamal is the History Channel, peppering his verses with references to Greek mythology, the Bible, geometry and the Illuminati. Where his compatriots have adopted the role of documentarians, dedicated to capturing life in the Other Portland, Jamal prefers to play teacher-philosopher, addressing the same issues—racism, gentrification, social injustice—through a broader historical context. And with Sankofa, his ferocious new album, the lessons are derived primarily from a history he knows well: his own. “The concept refers to looking to the past in order to come up with solutions to the present,” he says, explaining that the title comes from a Ghanaian tribal word meaning “to fetch and bring

forward.” In essence, he says, it’s about “never forgetting where you come from.” For Jamal, that’s Hot Springs, Ark., where he was born and, until coming to Portland seven years ago, raised. Music was a tangential part of his childhood, mostly through the church, where his mother and grandparents sang in the choir. At a young age, he’d memorize Tupac and Bone Thugs-n-Harmony songs, and in fourth grade began writing his own lyrics, but for a long time, he was too shy to rap in public—until his cousin called him out during a freestyle session. “I was like, ‘Man, you ain’t gonna do me like that,’” Jamal says. “So I started rhyming, and I caught the bug. I got back home, and that’s all I wanted to do.” In high school, using a cheap RadioShack mic and computer recording program, Jamal and his friends started cranking out CDs, which they’d sell out of their backpacks. “It probably sounded like boo-boo,” he says, “but it sounded like the truth to us.” For Sankofa, Jamal says he put himself back in that teenage mindset, when he used to write almost unconsciously. What came out is part autobiography, part thesis. “This is not music you can club to,” he announces early on, “be cool, sell drugs and make love to.” Instead, it’s music that commands simply to be listened to. On record as in conversation, Jamal has a lot to say, whether it’s about the way materialism destroys cultures (“Urban Decay”), the women in his life (“MonaLisa Brown”) or, most personally, his complicated relationship with his late father (“Condolences”). Words spill out of him as if he’s rifling through that deep internal reference file, tearing out pages as he goes. Back in his high-school days, Jamal was often forced to record verses in single takes, and that’s still how he prefers to operate. At times, you can practically hear his mind racing against his lungs, and it’s as breathless as any cinematic car chase. Sankofa is a powerful introduction, even if it’s hardly his debut. But, as one might expect of someone whose brain is set to hyperdrive, Jamal is already moving on. “I embody that struggling, frustrated artist,” he says, “the crazy motherfucker who’s doing great shit but doesn’t think it’s good enough.” It’s not that he loses sleep over what he could’ve done better, he clarifies. It’s always, he says, a matter of “What’s next?” SEE IT: Rasheed Jamal plays Kelly’s Olympian, 426 SW Washington St., with Big Mo, Lang, Naturally Born Misfits and Drae Slapz, on Friday, March 20. 9 pm. $10. 21+. Willamette Week MARCH 18, 2015 wweek.com

MUSIC

friday

expect, a mournful pall covers much of the album, but it doesn’t dampen the invigorating instrumental interplay that has sustained Rodrigo y Gabriela’s popularity long after people got over its novel concept. MATTHEW SINGER. Keller Auditorium, 222 SW Clay St., 2484335. 8 pm. $42-$58.50 advance, $47-$63.50 day of show. All ages.

Three For Silver, Sepiatonic, Paul Schlesinger, the Ukelaides

[PROGRESSIVE FOLK] The lush, boundary-expanding Portland folk band Three For Silver celebrates the release of its new album, Bury Me Standing. The Secret Society, 116 NE Russell St., 493-3600. 9 pm. $10. 21+.

Djemba Djemba, Most Custom, Lil Clark

J A S O N FA LC H O O K

[TRAP STAR] Eric DjembaDjemba—the Cameroonian soccer player from whom beatmaker Andrew Swanson takes his name—is a former Manchester United never-was who has turned to the international circuit to make

a living. This Djemba Djemba plays for the agile and star-studded Real Madrid of labels, Mad Decent. A month ago he dropped a SoundCloud playlist of “Leftover Beats,” a collection of everything from pop soundscapes to moody trap to—and only Djemba Djemba would consider this “left over”—a pair of collabs with Soulection member Mr. Carmack. MITCH LILLIE. The Whiskey Bar, 31 NW 1st Ave., 227-0405. 10 pm. $13. 21+.

Echosmith, the Colourist

[TEEN POP] Pairing Echosmith with the Colourist is a match made in dance-floor pop heaven. Both love hi-hat-heavy drums, girl-guy vocal tradeoffs and expansive, anthemic choruses. Los Angeles quartet the Colourist lays the sugary sweetness on thick, with shimmering synth lines, punches of jangly guitar and upbeat stories about never wanting the night to end. It’s not all fun times for Echosmith, though. An all-sibling group also out of L.A., the band is just as prone to morose reflections on “cool kids” and being

INTRODUCING GIRLS IN TROUBLE Who: Alicia Jo Rabins (vocals, violin), Aaron Hartman (bass). Sounds like: Soaring folk ballads mixed with dark 1990s alt-rock and Jewish theology. For fans of: Andrew Bird, Nina Nastasia, the Torah.

For anyone who ever recycled the classic “dog ate my homework” line to get out of a school assignment, local singer-songwriter Alicia Jo Rabins will do you one better. “It started as a way to get out of writing a master’s thesis, but it actually ended up being one of my main musical projects,” Rabins says of her Girls in Trouble project, which she formed in 2007 while studying Jewish women’s studies at the Jewish Theological Seminary in New York City. After struggling to come up with thesis ideas, one of Rabins’ professors, who had seen her play in bands around New York City, suggested she combine her music with her research. The result is what Rabins calls “indiefolk art pop,” centered on women of the Torah. Growing up in a non-practicing Jewish family, Rabins became curious about her heritage and studied in Jerusalem for two years while still in school. There, she learned Hebrew and ancient Aramaic so she could read the original texts. This exploration didn’t stop with her education. Rabins—along with her husband and bassist, Aaron Hartman, and a rotating cast of musicians—have since put out two full-length albums, on which Andrew Bird comes to mind as much as Miriam or the Three Patriarchs. Classically trained in violin from age 3, Rabin is also passionate about traditional American folk, often looping melodies around layers of jangly guitar, low and lilting cello or more polished pop elements. “Because I’ve played all this different kind of music in my life,” Rabins says, “one of the fun things about this project is that I get to decide kind of playfully and artistically which song is going to be in which genre and how to best interpret the characters.” On the latest Girls in Trouble album, Open the Ground, the story of the daughters of Zelophehad, the first female landowners, is told over the upbeat disco rock of “New Arithmetic.” Later, “Separate Histories,” an African-influenced song with staccato plucks of distorted violin, explores Ruth, the first Jewish convert, and how Rabins herself relates to her plight. “I’m really fascinated by the idea that life was always supercomplicated, and that it’s not just a modern phenomenon to feel like your life is really messed up,” she says. “That’s true in these really old holy texts, too.” KAITIE TODD. SEE IT: Girls in Trouble plays Turn! Turn! Turn!, 8 NE Killingsworth St., with Cynthia Nelson and Sex and Insects, on Saturday, March 21. 8 pm. Free. 21+. 34

Willamette Week MARCH 18, 2015 wweek.com

FRIDAY–SUNDAY PROFILE

E R I N PAT R I C E O ’ B R I E N

honest with your partner as it is to energetic handclaps and cheerful “whoa-ohs.” KAITIE TODD. Wonder Ballroom, 128 NE Russell St., 2848686. 9 pm. $15. All ages.

MUSIC

SATURDAY, MARCH 21 The Decemberists, the Minus 5

[FOLK POP] During the course of the past 15 years, the Decemberists have built a feverish following with songs about suicide pacts, mining disputes of the early 1900s and all manner of bookish tales. Still, What a Terrible World, What a Beautiful World, the band’s first album following a four-year hiatus, is less about theatrics than middle-road simplicity. Tunes still segue from dusty, Americana-tinged jaunts to fleecy ’70s pop at a moment’s notice, but frontman Colin Meloy now seems more concerned with modern complexities than Victorian ones, crooning about oral sex and reflecting upon the atrocities of the Sandy Hook shooting. The band’s trademark whimsy is still there, it’s just more accessible this time around. BRANDON WIDDER. Keller Auditorium, 222 SW Clay St., 800745-3000. 8 pm. Sold out. All ages.

XRAY.fm’s 1st Birthday Party: Minden, Holiday Friends, Secret Drum Band [ANNIVERSARY PARTY] There are certainly some who doubted it would even happen, so the fact that Portland-based community radio station XRAY.fm has been on the air for one year is deﬁnitely a cause for celebration. And celebrate they will, with a public birthday party featuring nu-disco romantics Minden, indie-pop upstarts Holiday Friends and the percussive adventurers the Secret Drum Band. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 288-3895. 9 pm. $10 general admission, $5 XRAY.fm members. 21+.

The Gaslight Anthem, Northcote, Sammy Kay

[MALL-PUNK JERSEY MEN] The Gaslight Anthem’s Brian Fallon is all grown up. He’s long chronicled the pangs of romance, but now, he’s been through the kind of heartbreak that involves a lawyer. On Get Hurt, the band’s latest, Fallon documents the aftermath of his divorce in gripping ﬁrst-person narration. It’s a departure from the diesel-fueled dynamics of Gaslight’s earlier days, and the band even hired a bigname British producer, Mike Crossey (Keane, Jake Bugg) to make the grungier bits sound glamorous, but there’s still inklings of that vulnerable, heart-on-a-half-sleeve appeal that initially drew you in. Just don’t ask the band to play any old shit. CRIS LANKENAU. Wonder Ballroom, 128 NE Russell St., 284-8686. 8 pm. $25. All ages.

SUNDAY, MARCH 22 Hurray For The Riff Raff, Adia Victoria

[NOLA DEPRESSION] A Bronx-bred Puerto Rican of hardcore tastes and restless spirits, Alynda Lee Segarra famously left home at 17 to ride the rails before chancing upon her signature parched-roots idiom during an elongated busk with folk-steeped fellow travellers around her adopted home of New Orleans. Small Town Heroes, Segarra’s fifth proper album as Hurray for the Riff Raff— it’s her project, though a quartet of local sidemen accompanies on tour—doesn’t so much upend genre conventions as reverse-engineer the proto-folk blueprint for lovely, tuneful, achingly personalized musings that never betray her peers’ too-worshipful timidity or accessorized artifice. This machine kills fashion. JAY HORTON. Aladdin Theater, 3017 SE Milwaukie Ave., 234-9694. 8 pm. $18 advance, $20 day of show. Under 21 permitted with legal guardian.

Sunny Jain (center) and Red Baraat.

RED BARAAT MONDAY, MARCH 23 Good party music, like most of the world’s best comfort food, is a form of stew—highenergy melodies, swinging rhythms and the ability to force people onto their feet combined with local flavors and slow-cooked in the heads of cool-minded musicians. In the case of New York’s Red Baraat (pronounced “bar-oth”), the ingredients include Washington, D.C., go-go funk, New Orleans second line, Atlanta hip-hop and the Punjabi music of Northern India, served up as a spicy-hot, heavy-stepping dance fusion. Like any good jambalaya, Red Baraat’s ingredients are added to taste, with each member tossing in his own ethno-musical experiences to form a cohesive sound. According to band leader Sunny Jain, the vibe came together “not necessarily in a contrived way, but just because we were a bunch of musicians in New York who studied a lot of music to be versatile—to get work. I was specifically looking for people who were going to bring different influences to the band.” Jain, who plays the dhol, a sort of two-headed bass drum, grew up listening to Bollywood soundtracks on reel-to-reel tape, which his father brought with him when he came to the United States in the 1970s. Indian film music, along with Casey Kasem’s Top 40 countdown and hip-hop, composed the wallpaper of sounds that informed Jain’s childhood. But that diverse array didn’t strike him as particularly interesting until later in life, when Jain turned 18 and began formally studying Hindustani music, eventually transitioning from tabla to the larger and more powerful instrument he now pounds onstage. As far as Red Baraat’s success goes, the band, which formed in 2008, hasn’t made it to Portland until now, but it hits about 150 stages per year, including NPR’s famed Tiny Desk in 2012 and, more recently, Europe. The eight-piece tuba, horn, guitar and drum ensemble sounds like go-go pioneer Chuck Brown gone to India, reflecting the vibrancy of the region’s wedding celebrations (“baraat” is Hindi for “wedding procession”) and colorful parades, creating a kind of North Indian second-line brass music. Red Baraat’s quirky amalgamation has fostered continued interest from other musicians, because there is nothing quite like it. “We did a couple nights in New York recently and had Delicate Steve at the show,” Jain says. “David Byrne has been to our show, and the Snarky Puppy guys. A good portion of our crowd was and still is musicians.” For a group riding a wave of high-intensity musical fusion, steadily rising demand is a good sign. It all stems from the sparkling energy of Red Baraat’s show, where the band’s original intent is still very apparent and appreciated by the audience. Jain makes it clear his band is there not necessarily to “have a show that is a band and an audience separated, but is very much a communal experience for everyone. “We are always just trying to make music that we love,” he says, “and that we want to put out there in the world.” PARKER HALL. It’s a party in the U.S.A.—and Northern India.

SEE IT: Red Baraat plays Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., on Monday, March 23. 8 pm. $15. 21+.

CONT. on page 36 Willamette Week MARCH 18, 2015 wweek.com

NEVER MISS A BEAT.

SUNDAY–MONDAY/CLASSICAL, ETC.

Beyond the Print

JEFF WENZEL

#WWEEK

MUSIC

@wweek

@WillametteWeek

A BUNCH OF JACKASSES: The Donkeys play Holocene on Monday, March 23.

Hobosexual, Wooden Indian Burial Ground, the Young Evils

[HEAD BANGING] Most times, a band’s sound gets described in terms of oxymoronic adjectives and microgenres that may or may not actually exist. But you can probably get an accurate idea of Seattle’s Hobosexual if I ﬁle the group simply under “rock.” Since its 2010 debut, the band has been pursuing its professed goal of reviving pre-1982 levels of “rad.” Think dirty guitar hooks and screeching vocals, something like AC/DC meets Led Zeppelin grandiosity. Or if that’s too convoluted, just think indulgent guitar solos played by a scruﬀy guy with long hair, because that’s all you really need to know. SHANNON GORMLEY. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., 231-9663. 9 pm. $10 advance, $12 day of show. 21+.

Leon Atkinson

[GUITAR MASTER] Leon Atkinson’s guitar education mirrors the instrument’s incomparable diversity. As a kid in New York, he heard bluesman Josh White play at the great cradle of African-American music, the Apollo Theater. He then took lessons from a folk guitarist and played in Greenwich Village coﬀee houses during the ’60s folk revival, learned classical guitar from a Cuban-American teacher, performed in Broadway shows and with jazz legends like Bud Powell and Ron Carter. He’s also accompanied Alvin Ailey’s dance company, and given solo recitals at Carnegie Hall. Now teaching at Gonzaga University, Atkinson also hosts NPR’s The Guitar Hour. Given his varied experience, Atkinson’s solo recital seems likely to encompass a broad range of styles and genres. BRETT CAMPBELL. The Old Church, 1422 SW 11th Ave., 222-2031. 3 pm. $20. All ages.

An Evening with Kristin Hersh

[STRIPPED-DOWN ALT-ROCK] The multifaceted singer-songwriter best known as the frontwoman for alternative era idols Throwing Muses plays intimate selections from her vast discography. The Old Church, 1422 SW 11th Ave., 222-2031. 7 pm. $16 advance, $18 day of show. All ages.

MONDAY, MARCH 23 OK Go

[POWERBOOK POP] Even while advancing technologies killed the radio star, OK Go has hardly been congratulated for keeping videos alive through a succession of unabashedly eye-popping self-proclaimed “short ﬁlms” dismissively dubbed viral stunts, as if considered artistry in service of mass enter-

Willamette Week MARCH 18, 2015 wweek.com

tainment could ever be an infectious threat. The best moments of the band’s ﬁrst album in four years, Hungry Ghosts—the arena-sized hooks, the winning melodies, the funkiﬁed falsetto croon of frontman Damian Kulash, the craft-intensive exploration of fun—may indeed cry out for cinematic accompaniment, but a spoonful of sugar helps the media critics get down. JAY HORTON. Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside St., 225-0047. 8 pm. $20 advance, $23 day of show. All ages.

This Will Destroy You, Cymbals Eat Guitars

[ASCENDENT AMBIENCE] It’s not hard to understand This Will Destroy You’s persistent desire to get out from under the shadow of Texas’ other crew of instrumental crescendo crusaders. But the dry melodies and distant meandering of 2011’s Tunnel Blanket felt more like a middle finger to latecomers to the post-rock game than a stylistic maneuver to shake off comparisons to Explosions in the Sky. By what means the San Marcos quartet ended up returning to its panoramic, melodically rich form on last year’s Another Language is anyone’s guess. But the confidence with which these musicians navigate one opus of ambient feedback squalls and silver-screen bombast makes it clear that they’ve reconciled the nature of their songcraft with the newfound popularity their ubiquity in the postrock realm has garnered them. PETE COTTELL. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., 231-9663. 9 pm. $14 advance, $16 day of show. 21+.

The Donkeys, And And And, Bubble Cats

[GOOD VIBRATIONS] The Donkeys are a quintessential California band, as “Sunny Daze,” the opening song on the band’s most recent effort, Ride the Black Wave, can attest. Like the rest of the outfit’s colorful discography, it’s brimming with chiming, Pavement-esque solos, with a vibe fit to soundtrack a surf video. Drummer-vocalist Sam Sprague’s spacey voice hovers above it all, wry and soulful, drifting over sitar melodies and harmonies culled directly from the pages of the CSNY songbook. “I don’t want you to change,” he sings against the bright chugging of “Shines.” It’s about a girl, but given the album’s context, it could just as easily be about the Golden State itself. BRANDON WIDDER. Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison St., 2397639. 8:30 pm. $10. 21+.

Bad Religion, Off!, Rendered Useless [POP PUNK] At one point, there wasn’t much diﬀerence between Bad Religion and the Descendents. That brief moment in punk during the early 1980s when what would

become hardcore got shot through with a distinct pop sensibility yielded some of the genre’s most enduring recordings. And while it’s been more than 30 years since Bad Religion issued its first work, the fact that the band’s still recording stuff like “Vanity,” off its last proper full-length, 2013’s True North, replete with Greg Graffin’s perspective on the tragedy of society, points to the music’s durability. There’s just maybe a bit too much doublekick drum, though. DAVE CANTOR. Roseland Theater, 8 NW 6th Ave., 224-2038. 8 pm. $25 general admission, $40 balcony seating. All ages.

CLASSICAL, JAZZ & WORLD Oregon Symphony plays Symphonie Fantastique

[CLASSICAL’S FLOYD] A psychedelic story of hopeless love as seen through the eyes of an opium-using 19th-century musician, Symphonie Fantastique was the largest symphonic orchestration in the history of the world at the time it was written. Romantic composer Berlioz used the full might of the orchestra, with soft meandering daydreams that build to unnervingly dark and introverted musical monoliths. The French composer, himself on opium as he wrote some of the it, stares deep into the dilated black of your pupils, taking the listener into a melancholic, bipolar human void, where drugs ease your pain while at the same time reminding you of it. It’ll be interesting to see how the Oregon Symphony pulls it all oﬀ. PARKER HALL. Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, 1037 SW Broadway, 248-4335. 7:30 pm Saturday and Sunday, March 21-22. $28-$99. All ages.

Farnell Newton’s Birthday Bash

[SOUL-O RELEASE] Trumpet phenom Farnell Newton has spent the past few years backing up legendary soul and funk musicians such as Jill Scott and Bootsy Collins on tour, while saving up energy for his own releases. His latest record, Ready to Roll, will be released tonight. The album, which features Collins along with the top tier of Portland’s groove-heavy talent, strolls somewhere between dirty, D’Angelo-style R&B crawl and upbeat Parliament funkadelica. PARKER HALL. Jimmy Mak’s, 221 NW 10th Ave., 295-6542. 8 pm Saturday, March 21. $15. Under 21 permitted until 9:30 pm.

Portland Gay Men’s Chorus

[LGBT HISTORY IN MUSIC] To celebrate its 35th anniversary, Portland Gay Men’s Chorus did what more local music institutions should do:

classical, etc. Rather than merely wallow in past glories, the 100-voice choir simultaneously looked forward and back by commissioning A Brighter Day, a new song cycle composed by veteran Portland singer Scot Crandal, with libretto by PGMC’s Doug Bom, that embraces the history of the gay community and the journey toward inclusion and equality. That journey has never been easy, as demonstrated by the other contemporary piece on the program, the Northwest premiere of Broadway composer Andrew Lippa’s I Am Harvey Milk, commemorating the trailblazing San Francisco city supervisor murdered by a fanatical fellow supervisor in 1978. BRETT CAMPBELL. Kaul Auditorium at Reed College, 3203 SE Woodstock Blvd. 8 pm Saturday and 3 pm Sunday, March 21-22. $15. All ages.

Josh Feinberg and Arup Sen Gupta

[INDIAN CLASSICAL] Portland’s Kalakendra organization has been presenting some of India’s finest classical musicians for years now, but it’s relatively rare to see a local artist on the program. Portland sitarist Josh Feinberg is a fine choice for such a prized slot. A disciple of the renowned Ali Akbar Khan, the 30-year-old sitarist has recorded with Indian music veterans Anindo Chatterjee and Swapan Chaudhuri, has studied in India and is increasingly touring and performing outside Portland. In this concert with tablawallah Arup Sen Gupta, he’ll perform traditional and modern sitar music from the Maihar Gharana school of Hindustani music. BRETT CAMPBELL. The Old Church, 1422 SW 11th Ave., 222-2031. 7:30 pm Saturday, March 21. $10-$20. All ages.

MUSIC

The Ensemble

[RENAISSANCE CHORAL] The all-star vocal ensemble, this time composed of seven of the top singers from various Portland choirs, performs one of the finest musical creations of the Renaissance, Orlando di Lasso’s The Tears of St. Peter, a sublime cycle of 20 spiritual madrigals. The Flemish composer’s final creation, completed only weeks before his death, retains its emotional power more than four centuries later. BRETT CAMPBELL. St. Stephen’s Church, 1112 SE 41st Ave. 4 pm Sunday, March 22. $10-$20. All ages.

Portland Opera Presents The Great American Songbook

[AMERICAN WOMEN] Before there was Taylor, there was Kay Swift. The Portland Opera puts on its second concert featuring the classics of the great American songbook, this time highlighting female composers such as Swift, the first woman to write a hit musical, 1930’s Fine and Dandy. The songs, many of which went on to be reinterpreted for the club as jazz standards by the likes of Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong, serve as a gentle reminder that not all this country’s classics were written by men named Gershwin. The concert will feature Portland Opera artists in residence, alongside a few special guests. PARKER HALL. Alberta Rose Theatre, 3000 NE Alberta St., 719-6055. 7:30 pm Tuesday, March 24. $12 advance, $15 day of show. Under 21 permitted with legal guardian.

For more Music listings, visit

COuRTESy OF ARTISTS FIRST

PREVIEW

Turquoise Jeep, Vinnie Dewayne, Maze Koroma [FRAT-HOUSE TRAP] If the schlocky kegger rap of the Turquoise Jeep collective feels like a giant joke, what’s more absurd than the cheeseball approach to hip-hop standards of sex, drugs and sweatpants is the punch line: These dudes are not joking. Surely one does not rack up millions of YouTube hits with tracks like “Lemme Smang It” and “Did I Mention I Like to Dance” without some iota of giving a fuck, right? Like a PG-13 version of Mickey Avalon’s coke-fueled sleaze bangers, the high-end production and wildly ambitious subject matter of TJ’s latest mix, Existing Musical Beings, provides the booty bass and the “Whoa, bro!” lyrics that slot perfectly on that scratched “Summer Party” CD-R between Beastie Boys’ “Girls” and Asher Roth’s paint-by-numbers smash hit “I Love College.” There’s no denying the chops of Flynt Flossy and Whatchyamacallit when they beckon young babes to “Treat Me Like a Pirate” and give up that booty, but your threshold for their unique brand of garbled juvenilia is entirely dependent on that day’s intake of Coors Light and Rockstar energy drink. PETE COTTELL. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 288-3895. 9 pm Tuesday, March 24. $12. 21+.

Willamette Willamette Week WeekMARCH MARCH 18,18, 20152015wweek.com wweek.com

MUSIC CALENDAR

[MARCH 18-24] Fri. March 20

= WW Pick. highly recommended. Editor: Mitch Lillie. TO HAVE YOUR EVENT LISTED, send show information at least two weeks in advance on the web at wweek.com/submitevents. Press kits, CDs and especially vinyl can be sent to Music Desk, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Please include show or release date information with all physical mailings. Email: music@wweek.com. For more listings, check out wweek.com.

aladdin Theater

3017 SE Milwaukie Ave. Tyrone Wells, Roll With It 2015 Tour

alberta rose Theatre 3000 NE Alberta St. Taylor John Williams

LAST WEEK LIVE

Blue diamond

JEREk HOLLENDER

2016 NE Sandy Blvd. Tracey Fordice and the 8 Balls

clyde’s Prime rib restaurant & Bar

5474 NE Sandy Blvd. Randy Starr

crystal Ballroom

1332 W Burnside Street Umphrey’s McGee, The Revivalists

doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St. Pigs On The Wing (Pink Floyd Tribute), Weld (Tribute to Neil Young and Crazy Horse)

duff’s Garage

2530 NE 82nd Ave The 44’s

edgefield

2126 SW Halsey St. Kris Deelane’s Sun Celebration

Forest Grove high School 1401 Nichols Lane The All-Northwest Barbershop Quartet Contest

MODERN KIN: Tweedy is a family affair—it’s even in the name. What started as a solo project of Wilco’s Jeff Tweedy has quickly blossomed into a shared creative endeavor with his 18-year-old son, drummer Spencer, culminating in an album dedicated to Jeff’s wife and Spencer’s mother. Despite the disheartening nature of the songs—much of Sukierae revolves around her recent battle with lymphoma—Tweedy and co. took the Crystal Ballroom stage March 14 with a presence that was anything but demoralized. “This song is dedicated to all of you,” he said before launching into “High As Hello” and its luscious set of harmonies. “Every time I pass people in this town, it smells like marijuana.” The true highlights, though, came when Jeff performed solo and dug into his back catalog, culling songs from his earlier days in Wilco and Uncle Tupelo. “I’m looking at this request sheet you guys filled out on our Web site…there’s a lot of sad fucking songs on here,” he joked. “Are you guys all right?” BRANDON WIDDER. See the full review at wweek.com/lastweeklive.

Wed. March 18 al’s den

303 SW 12th Ave. Ghost to Falco

Bunk Bar

1028 SE Water Ave. Frankie and the Witch Fingers, Jackson Boone

crystal Ballroom

1332 W Burnside Street George Clinton & Parliament Funkadelic

dante’s

350 West Burnside KD and the Hurt

doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St. Dr Spaceman David Bowie Tribute

eastBurn

1800 E Burnside St. Candy Lee, Rachael Miles

holocene

1001 SE Morrison St. Hank & Cupcakes, Purse Candy, Coco Columbia

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave. The Christopher Brown Quartet, Mel Brown Quartet

LaurelThirst Public house

2958 NE Glisan St. Ali Clarys, Fragile Lung, Pat Hull (9 pm); Love Gigantic (6 pm)

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Petunia and the Vipers, Mission Spotlight

roseland Theater

alberta Street Public house

1036 NE Alberta St. Ezra Bell, Jenna Ellefson, Candy Lee

Mississippi Pizza Pub.

3552 N. Misssissippi Ave Wild Rabbit, Anne-Marie Sanderson

Mississippi Studios

8 NW 6th Ave. Immortal Technique and Talib Kweli, Niko Is, CF, Hasan Salaam

alhambra Theatre

4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Two Planets, ZuhG, Addverse Effects

3939 N Mississippi Ave. The Weather Machine, Tango Alpha Tango, Human Ottoman

The Know

Blue diamond

roseland Theater

2026 NE Alberta St. Broken Water, Deface Man, Havania Whaal

The Lodge Bar & Grill 6605 SE Powell Blvd. Pete Ford Band

The Tonic Lounge

3100 NE Sandy Blvd. Rachel Lark, Delaney & Paris, Mr. Plow

White eagle Saloon 836 N Russell St. Reverb Brothers

Wilf’s restaurant & Bar 800 NW 6th Ave. Ron Steen Band

Thu. March 19 al’s den

303 SW 12th Ave. Ghost to Falco

alberta rose Theatre 3000 NE Alberta St. Farm Animals, Helper, Radio Wolf

Willamette Week MARCH 18, 2015 wweek.com

2016 NE Sandy Blvd. Ben Jones and Friends

chapel Pub

430 N Killingworth St. Steve Kerin

crystal Ballroom

1332 W Burnside Street Umphrey’s McGee, The Revivalists

edgefield

2126 SW Halsey St. The Old Yellers

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave. Dana Fuchs

LaurelThirst Public house

2958 NE Glisan St. James Martin Sasser, Evening Bell, Cedar Shakes (9:30 pm) Lewi and the Left Coast Roasters (6 pm)

Magnolia’s corner

4075 NE Sandy Blvd Doug Shafer

8 NW 6th Ave. Walk The Moon, The Griswolds

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St. Rllbll, Zouaves, Blesst Chest

hawthorne Theatre

1507 SE 39th Ave. Mod Sun, Dillon Cooper, Blackbear, KR, Karizma, DJ Gnash

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave. The Ty Curtis Band

Keller auditorium

222 SW Clay St. Rodrigo Y Gabriela

Kelly’s Olympian

426 SW Washington St. Rasheed Jamal, Big Mo, Lang and Naturally Born Misfits, Drae Slapz

LaurelThirst Public house

2958 NE Glisan St. Denver, the Low Bones (9:30 pm); Michael Hurley and the Croakers (6 pm)

Magnolia’s corner

4075 NE Sandy Blvd The Flat Nines

Mississippi Pizza Pub.

3552 N. Misssissippi Ave Darlin’ Blackbirds

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Box Set Duo

Peter’s room

8 NW 6th Ave Blackbird Raum, Dirty Kid Discount

Plews Brews

8409 N. Lombard St. Garry Meziere

The Secret Society 116 NE Russell St. Three for Silver, The Sportin’ Lifers

Turn! Turn! Turn!

8 NE Killingsworth St. Vernor Pantons, Kybele, Sharks from Mars

White eagle Saloon

836 N Russell St. Don’t Tell Mary, Haley and Trevin

Wonder Ballroom 128 NE Russell St. Echosmith & The Colourist

SaT. March 21 aladdin Theater

3017 SE Milwaukie Ave. Savoy Brown, Kim Simmonds

alberta rose Theatre 3000 NE Alberta St. Women with The Blues

alhambra Theatre

4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Garcia Birthday Band, Feat. Lewi Longmire and the Left Coast Roasters

arlene Schnitzer concert hall

1037 SW Broadway Oregon Symphony plays Symphonie Fantastique

Blue diamond

2016 NE Sandy Blvd. Bill Rhoades

clyde’s Prime rib restaurant & Bar

5474 NE Sandy Blvd. Andy Stokes

dante’s

350 W Burnside St Spring Break Tribute to Sublime, Weezer, and Cake

doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St. Redwood Son & The Revelry, Daniel Kirkpatrick, The Brian Odell Band

eastBurn

1800 E Burnside St. Ben Larsen and Friends

edgefield

2126 SW Halsey St. Tony Smiley

hawthorne Theatre

1507 SE 39th Ave. The Devil Wears Prada, Born Of Osiris, The Word Alive, Secrets

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave. Farnell Newton’s Birthday Bash

Kaul auditorium

SE 28th Ave. & Botsford Dr. Portland Gay Men’s Chorus

Keller auditorium

222 SW Clay St. The Decemberists, the Minus 5

Ponderosa Lounge

LaurelThirst Public house

8105 SE 7th Ave. Sleepy Eyed Johns

10350 N Vancouver Way Ben Rue, Slicker

The Secret Society

Portland Spirit Salmon Street dock

Mississippi Studios

The Muddy rudder Public house

116 NE Russell St. Pink Lady & John Bennett Jazz Band, Last Century Boys

The Tonic Lounge

SW Salmon Street And SW Naito Centennial Salute to Sister Rosetta Tharpe

3100 NE Sandy Blvd. Anvil & Lord Dying, Sunlord, Weresquatch

roseland Theater

Turn! Turn! Turn!

The Know

8 NE Killingsworth St. Michael Wohl, Folding Chairs, Jordan Anderson

White eagle Saloon 836 N Russell St. Cherimoya

8 NW 6th Ave. Adventure Club

2026 NE Alberta St. Lesbian, Roland

The Muddy rudder Public house 8105 SE 7th Ave. Junebugs

2958 NE Glisan St. Prairie Dogs (9:30 pm); Redray Frazier (6 pm) 3939 N Mississippi Ave. Xray.fm 1st Birthday Party: Minden, Holiday Friends, Secret Drum Band

Ponderosa Lounge

10350 N Vancouver Way Jessie Leigh

The heathman restaurant & Bar

1001 SW Broadway Lyndee Mah

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St. The Ballantynes, Moon By You

The Muddy rudder Public house 8105 SE 7th Ave. Chris Miller Duo

The ranger Station PdX

4260 SE Hawthorne Blvd Hot Club Time Machine & Guests

White eagle Saloon

The Old church

836 N Russell St. Rob Johnston, Doc Brown Experience

The Secret Society

Blue diamond

1422 SW 11th Ave. Josh Feinberg and Arup Sen Gupta 116 NE Russell St. La Rivera, Big E and the Stomp, Lowlight, Everything’s Jake

Turn! Turn! Turn!

MOn. March 23 2016 NE Sandy Blvd. Hot Tea Cold

crystal Ballroom

1332 W Burnside Street OK Go

8 NE Killingsworth St. Girls In Trouble (Record Release), Cynthia Nelson, Sex & Insects

dante’s

Vie de Boheme

830 E Burnside St. This Will Destroy You, Cymbals Eat Guitars

1530 SE 7th Ave. Ma Fondue

White eagle Saloon 836 N Russell St. Pert Near Sandstone, Whitewater Ramble

Wonder Ballroom

128 NE Russell St. The Gaslight Anthem, Northcote, Sammy Kay

Sun. March 22 al’s den

303 SW 12th Ave. Caleb Caudle

aladdin Theater

3017 SE Milwaukie Ave. Hurray for The Riff Raff, Adia Victoria

alberta rose Theatre 3000 NE Alberta St. Altan, Liz Carroll

arlene Schnitzer concert hall

1037 SW Broadway Oregon Symphony plays Symphonie Fantastique

doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St. Hobosexual, Wooden Indian Burial Ground, the Young Evils

duff’s Garage

2530 NE 82nd Ave The Rhythm Renegades

edgefield

2126 SW Halsey St. Fractal Quintet

hawthorne Theatre

1507 SE 39th Ave. Thee Old Farts Of Today, E-13, Osgood Slaughter, The Thornes

Kelly’s Olympian

426 SW Washington St. Willow House, Candy Lee

LaurelThirst Public house

2958 NE Glisan St. Open Mic (9 pm); Freak Mountain Ramblers (6 pm)

Mississippi Studios

350 West Burnside Karaoke From Hell

doug Fir Lounge

edgefield

2126 SW Halsey St. Groovy Wallpaper, Christopher Neil Young

holocene

1001 SE Morrison St. The Donkeys, And And And, Bubble Cats

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave. Mel Brown Septet

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Red Baraat

roseland Theater 8 NW 6th Ave. Bad Religion, Off!, Rendered Useless

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St. Hounds fo Hate, Busted Outlook

Tue. March 24 aladdin Theater

3017 SE Milwaukie Ave. Ewan Dobson

alberta rose Theatre 3000 NE Alberta St. Portland Opera: The Unsung Women of the Great American Songbook

cadigan’s corner Bar 5501 SE 72nd Ave. Soul Provider, Naomi T

doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St. Bike Thief, Just Lions, Small Skies (formerly Stepkid)

edgefield

2126 SW Halsey St. Steve Bradley and Scott Ackers

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Yob, Intronaut, Author & Punisher, Graver at Sea, Muscle & Marrow

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Snowblind Traveler

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Turquoise Jeep

Peter’s room

The Know

8 NW 6th Ave Futuristic & Sam Lachow, Stevo The Weirdo

rontoms

600 E. Burnside St. Fog Father, Light Thieves

rotture

2026 NE Alberta St. Esses, The Heligoats

The Waypost

3120 N Williams Ave. Grex (SF), Sarcastic Dharma Society, ElectroKraken, Tim DuRoche

315 SE 3rd Ave. Christian Mistress, Sons of Huns, RIP, Moondrake

St. Stephen’s catholic church 1112 SE 41st Avenue The Ensemble

The Old church

1422 SW 11th Ave. Leon Atkinson

CONT. on page 41

Willamette Week MARCH 18, 2015 wweek.com

Willamette Week’s

SUNDAY, APRIL 26 • 1:00PM TO 5:30PM Two Pods, 30+ carts Ticket sales beginning April 1 Gerding Theater at the Armory 128 NW Eleventh Avenue

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SHOW SPONSORS

This project is supported in part by an award from the National Endowment for the Arts.

Willamette Week MARCH 18, 2015 wweek.com

Don and Mary Blair Andy and Nancy Bryant Arlene Schnitzer Helen and Jerry Stern

march 18–24

MUSIC CALENDAR Jennifer Plitzko

BAR REVIEW

Where to drink this week. 1. Donnie Vegas

1203 NE Alberta St. for every fictional character, a taptail: the flanders is a wine spritzer embittered by Aperol and drinking vinegar. the Dude is—duh—a classy take on a white russian. Because the Dude is pure class.

2. charlie horse Saloon

637 SE Morrison St. Portland’s weirdest and most makeshift bar—Sway Bar—has just become a fine facsimile of an old West saloon, with your bachelor dad’s floor-toceiling paneling, cheap drinks and more taxidermy than the Bates Motel.

3. Black Water

835 NE Broadway, 546-1682. fast on the heels of Slabtown’s closure, punk-metal Black Water is already worshipping at the altar of seitan, throwing together sold-out rock shows, saucy vegan cheesesteaks and occasional tarantino marathons.

4. Lompoc Tavern

1620 NW 23rd Ave, 894-9374, lompocbrewing.com. everybody’s eerily quiet about this, but lompoc Brewing makes a new iPA—like, a whole new kind of iPA—pretty much every week. And some of them are pretty damn good. And on Monday, it’s only $2.50.

5. The Liquor Store

3341 SE Belmont St., 421-4483, theliquorstorepdx.com. With old papers, old records, a basement dance club, a seamless horseshoe of a bar and housemade Blue Curacao memorializing its predecessor, the Blue Monk, this bar is off to a hell of a good start.

GROAN: The first thing you notice when entering the South Waterfront’s first and only gastropub, The Groaning Board (3500 SW River Parkway, 971-254-9785, thegroaningboardpdx.com), is how many light bulbs are housed in things not originally intended to hold light bulbs. This former Asian fusion restaurant has bulbs in bottles, birdcages and even plumbing. The space, shadowed by a condo tower and without a river view, is otherwise a relatively unassuming remodel. Sitting alone at a round two-top, surrounded by booths and a wood-backed bar, one realizes this isn’t really a pub, but the sort of place that offers a $29 three-course meal for Portland Dining Month and has $10 cocktails and $6 beers. Thank God for happy hour, when one of those cocktails is half price—on my visit, a lemongrass orange drop. But the Spiegelau martini glass couldn’t hide the drink’s astringent orange flavor, which recalled the 151-infused orange daiquiri I once paid $3.50 for on spring break in New Orleans. Four silver-dollarsized, slightly undercooked, ricotta-filled fritters cost another $5. Isn’t a housemade mustard designed for mini corn dogs supposed to be ground and dippable, instead of a seed paste requiring a knife? And why did a margarita come in a lowball glass with an orange garnish… and why was it pink?… and why did it taste like it had neither lime nor agave syrup in it? How did it end up so bad? Well, if you visited some hip Portland bars’ websites, stole the adjectives, then tried to re-create menu items without tasting anything, you might end up here. And if you end up here? Well, happy-hour pints are $4, and they have sports on two TVs above the bar. PARKER HALL.

Star Theater

13 NW Sixth Avenue Bloco Alegria Samba Band, Fantasia Carioca:A Samba Equinox Celebration

The GoodFoot Lounge

Wed. March 18 Bar XV

15 SW 2nd Ave. Deep House Wednesday’s

Branx

320 SE 2nd Ave. Bakermat

Moloko Plus

3967 N Mississippi Ave. The Diamond stylus with King Tim 33 1/3

The Lovecraft

421 SE Grand Ave. Event Horizon, Industrial Dance Night

Thu. March 19 holocene

1001 SE Morrison St. #Testify: DJ Honest John, New Dadz DJs

Moloko Plus

3967 N Mississippi Ave. Brazilian Night

The Spare room

4830 NE 42nd Ave Wrestling For Rock

Fri. March 20 Branx

320 SE 2nd Ave. Whiiite, Bennyrox, Night City, & Klyde Drexler

2845 SE Stark St. Soul Stew: DJ Aquaman

The Whiskey Bar

31 NW 1st Ave Djemba Djemba, Most Custom, Lil Clark

SaT. March 21

511 NW Couch St. Metal Mondays, Metal Kyle and DJ Shreddy Krueger

The Lovecraft

Moloko Plus

analog cafe & Theater

1001 SE Morrison St. Gaycation: Mr. Charming, DJ Snowtiger

holocene

roseland Theater

Lola’s room

Star Theater

1332 W Burnside 80s Video Dance Attack

Mon. March 23 Ground Kontrol classic arcade

421 SE Grand Ave. Departures, DJ Waisted and Friends

3967 N Mississippi Ave. The Central Experience with Gulls & Mr. Peepers

1001 SE Morrison St. Rockbox: DJ Kez, Matt Nelkin

19 SW 2nd Ave. Future Bass

holocene

eastBurn

1800 E Burnside St. DJ Asher Fulero

Sun. March 22 Berbati

8 NW 6th Ave. Shpongle, Phutureprimitive 13 NW 6th Ave. Glow Job 7: Junglow Love

Tue. March 24 720 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Boombox

The Lodge Bar & Grill 6605 SE Powell Blvd. DJ Easy Finger

The rose Bar 111 SW Ash St Fresh

Willamette Week MARCH 18, 2015 wweek.com

march 18–24

= WW Pick. Highly recommended. Most prices listed are for advance ticket sales. At-the-door increases and so-called convenience charges may apply, so it’s best to call ahead. Editor: ENID SPITZ. Theater: ENID SPITZ. (espitz@wweek.com). Dance: KAITIE TODD (dance@wweek.com). TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit information at least two weeks in advance to: espitz@wweek.com.

a meet-and-greet with Salt & Straw owner Kim Malek (yes, she’s bringing ice cream, too) to benefit Portland arts education. Alberta Abbey, 126 NE Alberta St., 897-7037. 6:30 pm Saturday, March 21. $45-$75.

ALSO PLAYING Durang Durang

RICHARD HUBERT SMITH

Post5 Theatre’s collection of six one-act plays by absurdist playwright Christopher Durang touches on grave issues but doesn’t go deep. Instead, things get weird. Ridiculous lines fly fast, and the play’s physical movements are extreme. But the ensemble cast handles absurd theater without missing a beat. Entire lines were drowned out by audience laughter at an opening-weekend performance. One solemn moment resurfaces throughout, however: Unconnected characters softly repeat the line, “Now, if only I was happy.” But you’re not supposed to think about the sadness, plus there’s hardly time for philosophizing between laughs. Post5 Theatre, 1666 SE Lambert St., 971-258-8584. 7:30 pm Fridays-Sundays through March 28. $15-$20.

Main St., Hillsboro, 693-3953. 7:30 pm Thursdays-Saturdays, 2 pm Sundays, through March 22. $26-30.

Timmy Failure: Mistakes Were Made

In addition to writing and illustrating the comic strip Pearls Before Swine, Stephan Pastis has started penning kids’ chapter books. Now, the protagonist of that series—a wannabe detective with a giant polar bear for a business partner—makes it onstage, courtesy of a world-premiere play at Oregon Children’s Theatre. Best for ages 8 and up. Winningstad Theatre, 1111 SW Broadway, 228-9571. 2 and 5 pm Saturdays and 2 pm Sundays through March 22. $15-$28.

COMEDY & VARIETY (Still) Surrounded By Idiots

Last year Brody Theater’s founder Tom Johnson was surrounded by idiots. Hasn’t changed, hence this self-produced follow-up that’ll try to match 2014’s sold-out success. This season Brody comics Kerry Leek and Mike Karras join the show. Brody Theater, 16 NW Broadway, 224-2227. 7:30 pm Saturdays, March 7, 14, 21 and 28. $12.

Amy Schumer

The effusive star of Inside Amy Schumer gets a lot of attention for her raunchy sex material, but this potty mouth is also an advocate of free speech and gender equality: We can

CONT. on page 44

PREVIEW PAT R I C K M O R A N

PERFORMANCE

Mary Stuart

Northwest Classical Theater and Cygnet Productions pair award-winning “favorites” Luisa Sermol and Lorraine Bahr for the classic catfight between cousins. Mary Stuart faces death after threatening the crown of her cousin, Queen Elizabeth I. Expect love and bodices in this seven-time Tony Award-nominated play by Peter Oswald, directed by Elizabeth Huffman. Shoebox Theater, 2110 SE 10th Ave., 971-244-3740. 7:30 pm Thursday-Saturday, 2 pm Sunday through March 29. $22.

Other Desert Cities

Beyond the Beautiful forevers

THEATRE OPENINGS & PREVIEWS Beyond the Beautiful Forevers

On the dilapidated fringes of opulent Mumbai, mother Zehrunisa and son Abdul ambitiously sort recycling to fund a home. Each neighboring character has escapist goals: Tiny Sunil aspires to height and Manju dreams of higher education. But drama in the slums and global market trends don’t bode well for their dreams. Author Katherine Boo lived in India to write the novel, which David Hare adapted into theater, which National Theater director Rufus Norris staged, which Third Rail Theater is screening in Portland. World Trade Center Theater, 121 SW Salmon St. 2 and 7 pm Sunday, March 22, and Saturday, April 4. $20.

BioGRAYph: Invocating the Audience

For this homage to monologist Spalding Gray, Portland performer Matthew Mathis invites audience members onstage to do “participatory spoken word karaoke.” Volunteers read from Gray’s intimate works, including Sex and Death to the Age 14, Swimming to Cambodia and Gray’s Anatomy (Steven Soderbergh directed the 1996 film version). Black Door #1, 3324 SE Waverleigh Blvd. 7:30 pm Friday-Saturday, March 20-21. $5-$10 suggested donation.

Chippendales

Another day, another dollar. With just cuffs, a tie and collar—better gather your ogling horde and try to play on that washboard. Hawthorne Theatre, 1507 SE Cesar E. Chavez Blvd., 2337100. 8 pm Thursday, March 19. $35$65. 21+.

God of Carnage

A playground squabble gets even more childish when the parents attempt resolution in this ominouslytitled Tony Award-winner adapted from the original French and staged by Two Rooks Productions, a GoFundMebacked project from local director Bob Parsons. Lincoln Hall, Portland State University, 1620 SW Park Ave., 7253307. 7:30 pm Thursdays-Saturdays, 2 pm Sundays through March 29. $12.

The Great Love Debate

One hundred single men and 100 single women get to attend this touring, town-hall-style exploration of loneliness, love and Tinder gone wrong. Cocktail hour to follow, so it’s basically a massive blind date disguised as educational theater. Preregistration required. Imago Theatre, 17 SE 8th Ave., 231-3959. 7:30 pm Wednesday, March 18. $40.

The Invisible Hand

Allen Nause, former artistic director of Artists Rep, directs Ayad Akhtar’s political thriller about a captured American investments trader playing the stock market to win freedom from his militant Pakistani captors. Artists Rep’s production kept getting shelved. Now, after multiple rewrites from Pulitzer-Prize winning playwright Akhtar, Nause is pairing with Seattle’s ACT production company to stage the controversial exploration of Islam-phobia and economics. Artists Repertory Theatre, 1515 SW Morrison St., 241-1278. 7:30 pm WednesdaysSundays and 2 pm Sundays through April 5. $25-$49.

Saffron Supper Club

North Portland’s young actors perform a variety show for this Bollywoodinspired theatrical fundraiser and family-style dinner. The night includes Indian cuisine from Rajiv Harry and

Portland Center Stage’s production of Jon Robin Baitz’s political dramedy begins as a white-washed and washedout every-family drama. Brooke Wyeth (D’arcy Dersham) is a travel writer who returns home for Christmas, bringing her unpublished novel, which could stain the family reputation and endanger Polly the overbearing mom (Barbara Broughton), polo-clad dad Lyman (Ned Schmidtke), black sheep aunt Silda (Susan Cella) and a showstealing Joel Reuben Ganz as brother Trip. An eventual plot twist adds complexity, but the production mostly stays its narrow course through the well-trodden territory of the troubled rich. Gerding Theater, 128 NW 11th Ave., 445-3700. 7:30 pm Tuesdays-Sundays, 2 pm Saturdays-Sundays and noon Thursdays through March 22. $39-$69.

Precious Little

Defunkt Theatre presents Madeleine George’s play about a gay linguist in her early 40s who decides to have a child on her own. When she learns her child might have a genetic abnormality, she’s launched down a path that introduces her to—among others—the last speaker of a dying language and a gorilla at the zoo. The Back Door Theater, 4319 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 4812960. 7:30 pm Thursdays-Sundays through March 21 (no shows Feb. 15 and 22). $15-$25 Fridays-Saturdays, “pay what you can” Thursdays and Sundays.

The Other Place

Privileged perfectionist Juliana Smithton is a pharmaceutical rep for dementia drugs who gets a rude awakening when her own mind goes a little off. Portland Playhouse’s artistic director Brian Weaver directs Sharr White’s heady, existential drama. Portland Playhouse, 602 NE Prescott St., 4885822. 7:30 pm Wednesdays-Saturdays, 2 pm Sundays, March 21 through April 12. $20-$36.

The Six Gentlepersons of Verona

Bag & Baggage puts its usual boxbreaking spin on Shakespeare’s first comedy, employing six actresses (and an endearing canine) to play the 12 characters on a completely blank stage. An original score and onstage swordplay promise plenty of intrigue, but we’re really just going for the pug. Venetian Theatre, 253 E

drama In 3-d: rosko and ayling in from Beyond.

ACTION/ADVENTURE’S PILOT SEASON: FROM BEYOND Who says theater has to be highbrow? Can’t there be quality for the TV crowd? Action/Adventure Theatre’s second Pilot Season recaptures audiences numbed by endless zombie killing and incestual hate sex with the magic of theater. Like TV networks, Action/Adventure solicited pilot pitches for their next serial production and picked four shows for four weekends. Audiences vote for their favorite, and the winner gets a fully produced main-stage run next season. The first pilot in Action/Adventure’s small, converted warehouse was the period horror comedy From Beyond, aptly described by creator Brian Kuwabara as a “Lovecraftian farce.” With blood splatters and creative shadow puppetry, From Beyond finds friends and colleagues Randolph Carter (Adam Rosko) and Dexter Tillinghast (Nathan Ayling) in search of a rare translation of the Necronomicon, a text so evil it transforms sane men into raving, self-pleasuring deviants. What follows is a gleeful romp through murder and mayhem, complete with a mad scientist, reanimated witch, lengthy monologues about peeling flesh from bone, plus cake and hate-fucking. Think The Evil Dead as directed by Terry Gilliam. Like Carter and Tillinghast, our intentions may be earnest, but when dark desires break free it’s a slippery slope to murder by bludgeoning. Creating well-realized characters and a satisfyingly absurd storyline in the barely 60-minute run time is a feat from Kuwabara (and the fourmember cast). But with almost everyone dead at the end of the show, it’s difficult to say where the story would go from here if intended to be a serial production. From Beyond’s run is over, but there are three remaining pilots: Punching and Wizardry by Ben Coleman, a comedy of relationship issues and Dungeons and Dragons (March 19-22); Joel Patrick Durham’s Nesting, a semi-improvised horror thriller a la David Lynch (March 26-29); and Brenan Dwyer’s No Man’s Land, which follows three Catholic schoolgirls in a semi-improvised comedy (April 2-5). With TV networks continually recycling tropes and aging actors, it’s heartening to find fresh creativity nurtured on local stages. Action/ Adventure deserves kudos for highlighting Portland’s burgeoning talent and actually giving screen addicts a good reason to like theater. It’s not like there’s anything good on TV. PENELOPE BASS.

Theater for the screenaddicted masses, with cake and hate-fucking.

see IT: Pilot Season: Punching Wizardry is at Action/Adventure Theater, 1050 SE Clinton St., action-adventure.squarespace.com. 8 pm Thursday-Sunday, March 19-22. $12. Willamette Week MARCH 18, 2015 wweek.com

PERFORMANCE

march 18–24

thank her for the word “pussy” now being allowed on Comedy Central. Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, 1037 SW Broadway, 248-4335. 8 pm Friday, March 20. $46.50$54.50.

Curious Comedy Open Mic

Curious hosts a weekly open-mic night. Sign-ups begin at 7:15, and comics get three minutes of stage time apiece. Curious Comedy, 5225 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 477-9477. 8 pm every Sunday. Free.

Friday Night Fights

Competitive improv, with two teams battling for stage time. Curious Comedy, 5225 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 477-9477. 9:30 pm every first and third Friday. $5; free with the purchase of a ticket to the 7:30 pm show.

Funny Humans vs. the Wheel

Curious Comedy’s improvisers duke it out, in hopes of winning audience votes and advancing to the next round of competition. Curious Comedy, 5225 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 477-9477. 7:30 pm every Friday and Saturday. $12-$15.

If you go to enough shows around town, you start to memorize comedians’ sets. Think of this weekly show, hosted by silly duo Adam Pasi and David Mascorro, as an antidote to all that repetition: Comedians start out with a planned set, but halfway through, they have to spin a wheel to determine what comes next—crowd work, one-liners, maybe even a heckle battle. Bar of the Gods, 4801 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 2322037. 9 pm every Sunday. Free. 21+.

Earthquake Hurricane

Helium Open Mic

Curious Comedy Showdown

An army of impressive Portland comedians—Curtis Cook, Alex Falcone, Bri Pruett and Anthony Lopez—host a weekly standup showcase with some of the funniest people you’ll ever see in the basement of a bike shop. Kickstand Comedy Space, 1969 NE 42nd Ave., 937-219-1334. 8:30 pm every Wednesday. $5 suggested.

Flair: An Office Space Parody

Use all your willpower not to quote along with local director Trenton Shine’s staging of that movie everyone has seen. Wear your flair. We’re lazy, but we just might care. Yeaaaaah, so we’ll see you on Saturday. Funhouse Lounge, 2432 SE 11th Ave., 841-6734. 7 pm Thursday-Saturday through March 28. $12.

Generally regarded as the best open-mic night in town, Helium’s sign-ups fill quickly. Show up between 6 and 7 pm to snag some stage time. Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9th Ave., 888-643-8669. 8 pm every Tuesday. Free with a twoitem minimum. 21+.

Hella Feller!

A proletariat-themed Comedy Party rally featuring locals Kristine Levine, Jason Traeger, Jeremy Eli and Neeraj Srinivasan and Bridgetown Comedy Fest’s Zak Toscani and Veronica Heath. Their motto is “funny for the people!” Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., 231-9663. 8 pm Thursday, March 19. $12. 21+.

Co U r T E SY o F A PA AG E N C Y

PREVIEW

STORYTELLER: The Michael McDonald headlining Helium Comedy Club is not a silver fox serenader from the Doobie Brothers. But he is silvering, and that’s rare in standup. While SNL retirees go silver on the big screen, 10 years on Mad TV apparently leads to the stage. The Scrubs writer, who cut his teeth at L.A.’s famous Groundlings theater, does “old-school storytelling like George Carlin and…I used to include Bill Cosby, but never mind.” After getting a business degree from USC, McDonald took “dozens of roles in terrible movies,” acted in Family Matters and as Stuart in Mad TV’s longest-running role. “They wanted to buy me a professional wig, but I was superstitious and insisted on my ratty old one,” he explains. “I was happy to have a steady job after 10 years of free theater and waiting tables.” Things improved. “One guest brought a pig onto the set and it relieved itself while the cameras rolled,” he says. “Look up ‘Mad TV potty pig blooper’ on Youtube.” McDonald graduated to a producer role for Cougar Town (irony?) and is starting stand-up now with this freshman tour. “I used to perform on radio between Roosevelt’s fireside chats,” he says. “Now I have a private nurse help me onstage and monitor my heart.” ENID SPITZ. SEE IT: Michael McDonald is at Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9th Ave., 888-643-8669, on Friday and Saturday, March 20-21. 7:30 and 10 pm. $22-$30. 44

Willamette Week MARCH 18, 2015 wweek.com

MARCH 18–24

WWE Hall of Famer turned standup comic Mick Foley is on a world tour with his tales of international travel, life in the ring and admiration for an adult entertainer he once witnessed working despite a knee brace. In ﬂannel and a full beard, all 6 feet, 2 inches, of Foley ﬁts well in Portland. Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9th Ave., 888-643-8669. 7 pm Sunday, March 22. $27-$35. 21+.

Michael McDonald

The Austin Powers actor was Stuart for a decade on Mad TV and now mainly writes and produces TV, like Cougar Town. This is his ﬁrst standup tour, digging into topics like family Christmas cards and his selfprovlaimed love of lesbians. Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9th Ave., 888-643-8669. 7:30 pm and 10:30 pn March 20-21. $22-$30. 21+.

Naked Comedy Open Mic

and ﬁre dancer Ivizia. Crush, 1400 SE Morrison St, 235-8150. 8 pm Tuesday, March 24. $10. 21+.

New Israeli Voices in Dance

Dance presenter White Bird brings two of Israel’s rising choreographers and former Batsheva dancers to the Portland stage. Founder of Ate9 Dance Company out of Los Angeles, Danielle Agami kicks things oﬀ with the debut of her piece Exhibit b. Commissioned by White Bird, details of the world premiere dance have yet to be released, but if the teaser trailer is any indication, expect movement ranging from sudden jerks and tight, precise spins to repetitive, mechanical motions. Kogan follows with his work We Love Arabs, a duet that won the Israeli Dance Critics’ Circle’s

Outstanding Creative Prize in 2013. Centered on cultural diﬀerences, the piece mixes Kogan’s signature wit and reﬂection with spoken word and stark physicality…and he may or may not smear hummus all over his face. Discussion with both choreographers will follow each show. Lincoln Hall, Portland State University, 1620 SW Park Ave., 245-1600. 8 pm Thursday-Saturday, March 19-21. $25-$30.

For more Performance listings, visit

PROFILE BLAINE TRUITT COVERT

Mick Foley

PERFORMANCE

The Brody hosts a thrice-weekly open-mic night. Comics get fourminute standup slots and can sign up online. Brody Theater, 16 NW Broadway, 224-2227. 9:30 pm every Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. Free with one-item minimum purchase.

Naked Comedy Open Mic

Open Court

Team-based, long-form improv open to audience members and performers of all stripes. Curious Comedy, 5225 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 477-9477. 7:30 pm every Thursday. $5.

Random Acts of Comedy

Curious Comedy puts on a freewheeling show that brings together sketch, standup and improv. Curious Comedy, 5225 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 477-9477. 9:30 pm every Saturday. $7-$10.

Stand Up for Yourself

Skits and psychotherapy combine on stage as Portland comedy’s main lady Amy Miller channels Freud to analyze a crew of local comics after their bits. Audience participation encouraged, daddy issues inevitable. Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9th Ave., 888-643-8669. 8 pm Wednesday, March 18. $5. 21+.

Theatresports

In 1977, Calgary, Alberta, dramatist Keith Johnstone invented Theatresports, a two-team comedy battle inspired by pro wrestling. Brody Theater hosts rotating teams for the Portland chapter (it’s now a nationwide syndicate) on Saturday nights. Brody Theater, 16 NW Broadway, 224-2227. 9:30 pm Saturdays. $8.

DANCE Burlescape!

Now one of the longest-running burlesque shows in the city, this monthly performance produced by Zora Phoenix celebrates its fourth birthday. Expect plenty of tease with its burlesque and boylesque performances, featuring acts by Tod Alan, Baby Le’Strange, Wanda Bones, Dorothea Derriere and Zora Pavonine. Crush, 1400 SE Morrison St, 235-8150. 9:30 pm Saturday, March 21. $10-$15. 21+.

CTRL-Alt-Tease

Produced by Critical Hit Burlesque and Zed Phoenix, this new monthly burlesque show focuses on geekthemed acts, with performances inspired by TV shows, sci-ﬁ and video games. This month’s show features performances by Amelia Ala Mode, Jaxin Yoﬀ, Goldie Goodnight

KILLING IT: Ching Ching Wong dances at NWDP.

CHING CHING WONG (NORTHWEST DANCE PROJECT) For one dancer, NWDP is more than a company, it’s family.

Ching Ching Wong, all 4 feet 11 inches of her, wriggles in her chair as she throws up jazz hands: “I want to dance forever. Like in retirement homes in my wheelchair, I’m going to be killing it.” She’s already killing it at Northwest Dance Project, which will be crowned the city’s largest dance center when its new space on Northeast 10th Avenue opens this month. In company dances, where it’s easy to fade into the crowd, Wong’s personality pops. Since age 3, dance studios have been Wong’s home. “When I was young I felt like dance was all I had,” Wong says. “I found comfort in being in a dance room, I found that I had a family.” Alia Harlan, a teacher at Allegria Dance Theatre in Whittier, Calif., literally adopted Wong, who was already estranged from the family she emigrated with from Manila. Under Harlan, Wong began teaching at age 13, and in 2010, NWDP founder Sarah Slipper invited Wong to join the company. On her first day at NWDP, she met British choreographer Ishan Rustem. “He pushes you physically in this way that is challenging, fastpaced and precise,” she says. “He pushes for that perfection but also lets me have this total freedom.” This week, Wong will dance Rustem’s world premiere of Yidam, the Buddhist-inspired piece opening NWDP’s Louder Than Words. Following, Sarah Slipper’s contemporary Casual Act stages dancers in a “house-copter” of three living-room sets rotating continually, and Lucas Crandell’s Blue ends the show with classical ballet. The thought of it gets her tittering. “Each choreographer is so different. And that’s the great part about working with them,” Wong says of her dance family. Their new, 8,500-square-foot home makes Wong stutter, childlike in her excitement: “We have…we have multiple…the girls and boys...we have separate bathrooms. What is that? “We have a shower,” she adds, “I’ve spent five years just being smelly in the city.” KAITIE TODD.

SEE IT: Ching Ching Wong performs Louder Than Words, with Casual Act and Blue, at the Newmark Theatre, 1111 SW Broadway, nwdanceproject.org. 7:30 pm Thursday-Saturday, March 19-21. $29-$52.

Willamette Week MARCH 18, 2015 wweek.com

VISUAL ARTS

march 18–24

Michelle Blade: If the Spirit Moves You

= WW Pick. Highly recommended. By RICHARD SPEER. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit show information—including opening and closing dates, gallery address and phone number—at least two weeks in advance to: Visual Arts, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: rspeer@wweek.com.

The newest art space at the Everett Station Lofts is called Portland Pataphysical Society—named after an esoteric, late-19th-century philosophy. The gallery is run by former Disjecta curator-in-residence Josephine Zarkovich and her husband, curator and arts administrator David Huff. Their first show, If the Spirit Moves You, features paintings and an installation by L.A.-based artist Michelle Blade. Blade has gotten a lot of press lately, including a recent spread in Juxtapoz. Her current show at PAS has two interactive elements: a Ouija board-like painting on the floor, which gallery-goers are encouraged to walk on; and a hanging painting with holes cut out for viewers to stick their faces and hands through. What the piece means thematically is not altogether clear, but it certainly makes for fun selfies. Through March 27. Portland Pataphysical Society, 625 NW Everett St., No. 104.

Nicholas Nixon: Hospice Patients

Nicholas Nixon is best known for his series The Brown Sisters, for which he’s photographed his wife and her three sisters every year since 1975. He’s showing a different body of work at Blue Sky this month, but one that also deals with the passage of time. In Hospice Patients, he trains his lens on people who are dying and their caregivers, friends and family. The patients are gaunt and careworn, but it’s their loved ones who seem to be having the roughest time. In the tender Maryann, Marianne, Madelon, and Elen Brinker, Wellesley, Massachusetts, an elderly woman lies in her bed at home, eyes closed, surrounded by onlookers. There is tacky wallpaper and kitschy furniture all around. There is a poinsettia. Three black dogs lie at the foot of the bed. It’s a scene of such comfortably mundane Americana, it seems almost incidental that a human being is living out her final moments. It’s to Nixon’s credit that he brings us such intimate moments with such a deeply humane sense of restraint and respect. Through March 29. Blue Sky Gallery, 122 NW 8th Ave., 225-0210.

Rebecca Johnson: Barns Cutthroat by Amy bernstein, PArt of testable prediCtions

Alex Lily: Another Weekend, Another Revolution

In recent shows at Cock and Mark Woolley Gallery, Alex Lilly has exhibited scorched-earth tableaux of smouldering ruins and burning buildings. Interestingly, this motif shares common ground with painter Michael Paul Miller’s paintings at Laura Russo this month. Fire, soot and destruction figure prominently in compositions that highlight the possibility of apocalypse. Lilly, who sometimes handwrites manifestos and pamphlets that explain his paintings’ implications, is a revolutionary thinker and a visionary— with a vision we certainly hope doesn’t come true. During the First Thursday (March 5) art walk, Lilly performs at Cock Gallery with his post-punk band, tour de force. Through March 22. Cock Gallery, 625 NW Everett St., No. 106, 552-8686.

Cynthia Lahti: Battle

On the heels of winning the 24th annual Bonnie Bronson Fellowship Award, Cynthia Lahti exhibits a suite of enigmatic and satisfying sculptural and photographic objects at PDX. In the past, Lahti’s idiosyncracies have occasionally veered into preciousness, but not in these works, which are at once witty and accessible. The top two-thirds of the digital print Bank, for example, shows a woman’s belly, pantyhose-clad groin and legs; the print’s bottom third shows a woman’s lips, chin and hair, but not her eyes. Like the eyeless female nudes painted by the late Pop artist Tom Wesselmann, Lahti’s image is denied the advantage of a window into the soul. Unlike Wesselmann’s objectifying paintings, Lahti’s work is neither smug

nor salacious, but very, very smart. Through March 28. PDX Contemporary Art, 925 NW Flanders St., 222-0063.

Hedonic Reversal

By now, the fetishization of urban decay (so-called “ruin porn”) has reached the point of ubiquity, if not outright obnoxiousness. In an intriguing twist, artist Rodrigo Valenzuela has kicked the genre up into a “meta-” plane. In his suite of photographs entitled Hedonic Reversal, he’s created fake ruins in his studio, then taken pictures of them. So he’s not fetishizing authentically derelict buildings; he’s critiquing the fetishization of derelict buildings, and he’s doing so as an artist buttressed by the platform and aesthetic credibility afforded by a gallery show. It’s a brain twister that Valenzuela leaves it to us as viewers to parse. Through April 4. Upfor Gallery, 929 NW Flanders St., 227-5111.

Jana Demartini: Through the Darkness

Edvard Munch’s The Scream is handsdown the most archetypal depiction of inner terror outwardly expressed. It is, shall we say, a hard one to top, but that hasn’t stopped legions of artists from trying. Jana Demartini throws her hat into the ring with her charcoal and pastel drawings, collectively entitled Through the Darkness. The artworks deal with illness, loss and fear. In one image, a human figure stands in the center of a swirling tornado, hands raised as if in surrender or awe. Despite the dire circumstances, the figure appears almost serene, perhaps searching for an inner calm in the eye of the storm. Through March 28. Blackfish Gallery, 420 NW 9th Ave., 234-2634.

Willamette Week MARCH 18, 2015 wweek.com

Lyric Truth: Paintings, Drawings and Embroideries by Rosemarie Beck

If you were an “important” New York painter in the late 1940s and 1950s, you dutifully pledged allegiance to Abstract Expressionism and trafficked in dollops, drizzles, smears and drips. Not so for Rosemarie Beck (1923-2003), subject of a rigorous exhibition at PSU organized by art historian Sue Taylor. In her mature work, Beck eschewed abstract statements, preferring to portray flesh-and-blood human beings. Sometimes, as in the oil painting Two With Horse, her depictions were frankly sensual and erotic. She also drew inspiration from the myths of Classical antiquity, a predilection that was not exactly considered forward-thinking by her contemporaries. Still, she persevered not only in the medium of painting but also in drawing and embroidery. This is the first time any of this artwork has been exhibited in Oregon. More information at rosemariebeckexhibit2015.blogspot. com. Through May 3. Broadway Lobby Gallery at Portland State University, Lincoln Hall, 1620 SW Park Ave.

Marlana Stoddard-Hayes: Agaricus

Mycology, the study of mushrooms, lies at the heart of Marlana StoddardHayes’ abstract paintings. She layers prints of different fungi into her compositions, which also integrate acrylic paint, linen and wood panels. Pieces such as Damask and Manuscript are fittingly organic, with vaguely circular blobs and knobby strings that float within the picture plane, as if in zero gravity. Taken together, the paintings are a bit one-note, but individually they’re visually and metaphorically rich. Through March 28. Butters Gallery, 520 NW Davis St., 2nd floor, 248-9378.

It’s not often that an artist statement on a press release damn near makes you weep. But Rebecca Johnson’s description of her paintings of old barns is so lyrical, it could have been a poem. “I use salvaged boards to build my paintings,” she begins. “The boards have a memory. When I paint I can hear the wind blow across open fields. Dust motes float in the shafts of light between the board and battens, I see swallows swoop from mud nests high in the rafters and eaves.. Patterns in the weathered wood read like a map of the past; one can sense the history of the tree and a way of life come and gone.” After reading a paragraph that rhapsodic, you really have to hope the paintings themselves don’t suck. Through March 28. PDX Window Project, 925 NW Flanders St., 2220063.

Showers/Gutters/Pipes/ Channels/Drips/Drifts/Tubes/ Runnels/Circles/Spirals/Boards/ Ponds/Hoses/Tunnels/Funnels/ Bubbles/Buildings/Bulbs/Speakers/ Fountains/Flowers/Showers

Only a show this cool could get away with a title this long. In early February, Austin, Texas-based artist Andy Coolquitt did a three-week residency in Portland, taking video and collecting old pipes, plastic sinks, buckets and other junk he found around town. He combined these into an immersive installation which has turned Disjecta into an eerie, vaguely postapocalyptic water-world. Everywhere you look, fountains are shooting water into distressed wooden crates; bubbly water churns mysteriously in buckets; and electric cords hanging from the rafters plunge sinisterly into vats of swirling liquid. A soundscape fills the gallery with the gurgling of water sluicing through gutters. At the show’s entrance, visitors are warned not to wander off the wood-planked path leading through this phantasmago-

ria, presumably for fear of slipping or electrocution. If you see any show at all this spring, this is the one to check out. It’s one of the most bizarre and impressive installations ever mounted at Disjecta—a tribute both to Coolquitt’s vision and the foresight of Disjecta’s departing curator-in-residence Rachel Adams, who leaves on a high—and very wet—note. Through April 26. Disjecta, 8371 N Interstate Ave., 286-9449.

Testable Predictions

Husband-and-wife curatorial team Calvin Ross Carl and Ashley Sloan have opened a new gallery in the space that used to be Nisus Gallery, on the east side of the Disjecta complex. Their first show, Testable Predictions, is a strong, three-artist debut, informed by the kind of heady but humorous aesthetic that Carl and Sloan are known for in their own artwork. Michelle Liccardo’s diminutive sculptures are fashioned from metal, concrete, paper and paint, but they look like sea creatures made out of Play-Doh. Perry Doane’s silkscreens, spartan and elegant, are punctuated by welcome bursts of saturated color. Finally, Amy Bernstein’s oil paintings wryly critique the gestures abstract painters keep in their arsenals: dollops, squiggles, arcs and simple shapes, set upon a white background. Isolated from one another, the marks are like painterly insects pinned down on an entomologist’s display board. Together, the artists’ contributions enliven this boxy, bright gallery with color, vivacity and optimism. Through April 12. Carl & Sloan Contemporary, 8371 N Interstate Ave., No. 1, 360-608-9746.

The Sum of its Parts—Part 1

When your father is a famous museum curator and your stepfather is prodigious art collector and movie star Dennis Hopper, chances are you’re going to grow up with art in your blood. Jeffrey Thomas certainly did. An art-world player in New York City for many years, he is best known in Portland for his involvement in the legendary Jamison/Thomas Gallery. His new gallery digs, Jeffrey Thomas Fine Art, shares space with Katayama Framing and Murdoch Collections, which makes for a natural aesthetic synergy. For his inaugural show, Thomas is showing works by 13 artists, some of whom are represented by other galleries but are appearing with him by special arrangement. Among the show’s highlights are Sean Healy’s gorgeously goopy cigarette sculpture, American Muscle; Laura Fritz’s immaculate tabletop display of crystalline forms; and an abstract painting by the late Mary Henry that recalls the rectilinear compositions of Piet Mondrian. These same artists will be featured in the exhibit’s second iteration, The Sum of its Parts—Part 2, which will open on March 25. Through March 21. Jeffrey Thomas Fine Art, 2219 NW Raleigh Ave., 544-3449.

To Feel What I Am

Have social media affected our body language? That’s a big question, and in the exhibition To Feel What I Am, curators Eileen Isagon Skyers and Iris Williamson answer it obliquely and incompletely. Mostly that’s because Hap is a small space, and there are a whopping eight artists in the show. As a consequence, it feels too crowded with objects and ideas. The most successful piece visually is a short film called Aquarium by Chicago-based artist Tobias Zehntner. It was shot underwater in a swimming pool, with the camera upside-down. The bathers, therefore, appear to be swimming upside-down, with their legs where we expect their heads to be. This is an extremely odd effect that you have to see to really appreciate. Does it have anything to do with social media? Damned if I know, but it’s certainly cool to look at. Through March 28. Hap Gallery, 916 NW Flanders St., 444-7101.

For more Visual Arts listings, visit

BOOKS

MARCH 18–24

= WW Pick. Highly recommended. By PENELOPE BASS. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit lecture or reading information at least two weeks in advance to: WORDS, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: words@wweek.com. Fax: 243-1115.

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 18 Red One Comic Book Signing

Sure, we may be decades past the Cold War, but the threat of the commies lurking around any corner still titillates, as evidenced in the new comic series Red One (albeit set in 1977). Vera Yelnikov, an elite agent in the Soviet Army, is sent undercover to the U.S. to become an American superhero and spread communist values through the land. Artists Terry and Rachel Dodson will sign copies of Issue No. 1. Things From Another World, 4390 SW Lloyd Ave., Beaverton, 643-4222. 6 pm. Free.

THURSDAY, MARCH 19

tor Farzana Marie will be joined by Afghan poet Somaya Ramesh to share from the new book. Powell’s on Hawthorne, 3723 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 800-878-7323. 4 pm. Free.

MONDAY, MARCH 23 Jacqueline Winspear

Continuing her internationally bestselling Maisie Dobbs mystery series, Jacqueline Winspear’s newest book, A Dangerous Place, ﬁnds psychologist and investigator Maisie in Gibraltar in 1937, entangled in the case of a brutal murder while on her way home to England. Web of intrigue! Winspear will read from her novel and sign books. Broadway Books, 1714 NE Broadway, 284-1726. 7-8 pm. Sold out.

Mary Doria Russell

Her last historical novel, Doc, was intended to stand alone. But Mary Doria Russell couldn’t resist further delving into the history of Doc Holliday and Wyatt Earp and the gunfight at the O.K. Corral. In addition to her research, Russell spent five days on horseback through the mountains around Tombstone, Ariz., to pay homage to the real lives of the historical figures in her new book, Epitaph. Not to knock the fine work of Kurt Russell and Val Kilmer. Powell’s Books at Cedar Hills Crossing, 3415 SW Cedar Hills Blvd., Beaverton, 800-878-7323. 7 pm. Free.

Stay on the Edge of the Pearl.

Walk to Timbers Games!

For more Books listings, visit

David Vann

Mention author David Vann (whose 2008 debut novel, Legend of a Suicide, vaulted him to fame) to the literati and watch the superlatives ﬂy. Seven years later, after numerous fellowships, awards and endless praise that makes Cormac McCarthy sound like a hack, Vann will release his anticipated new novel, Aquarium. Cue the hype. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 800878-7323. 7:30 pm. Free.

SATURDAY, MARCH 21 Skip Horack with Adam Johnson

For more than a decade, Roy Joseph has drifted through a solitary life after the disappearance of his brother in the Gulf War and the death of his parents, along with his own felony conviction. But a young girl claiming to be his brother’s biological daughter oﬀers him a chance for connection. In his new novel, The Other Joseph, author Skip Horack (The Eden Hunter) oﬀers his interpretation of the journey to redemption. Pulitzer Prize winner Adam Johnson (The Orphan Master’s Son) will join Horack in conversation. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 800-878-7323. 4 pm. Free.

SUNDAY, MARCH 22 The Pen is Mightier Than the Pen15

For every beloved, iconic character of film, literature and beyond, there is some pervert at a keyboard making them perform really un-PG acts for their own amusement—and ours. Come hear the filthiest of the filthy fan fiction that wasn’t allowed at the Emerald City Comic Con, written and read by disturbed individuals such as Joe Streckert, Jessica F. Hebert, Molly Newman and more. You’ll never look at Winnie the Pooh and Christopher Robin the same way. Mississippi Pizza, 3552 N Mississippi Ave., 2883231. 8 pm. $5. 21+.

Sy Safransky

More than 40 years ago, Sy Safransky borrowed $50 to start The Sun magazine, which today still holds prominence on the newsstand. Safransky’s new collection of writings, Many Alarm Clocks, gathers his work from his own section of the magazine, “Sy Safransky’s Notebook.” Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 800-878-7323. 7:30 pm. Free.

Load Poems Like Guns

The new collection Load Poems Like Guns: Women’s Poetry From Herat, Afghanistan oﬀers an English translation of the work of eight contemporary Afghan women poets. American poet and transla-

Bargain Rates Downtown

REVIEW

SMITH HENDERSON, FOURTH OF JULY CREEK Cheryl Strayed got the fancy movie premiere. Chuck Palahniuk gets the comic book. But probably the most significant book to come from a Portland writer in the past year is Smith Henderson’s Fourth of July Creek (Ecco, 480 pages, $15.99). It was a critics’ darling when it arrived last spring—it later cracked The New York More live in heartbreak. Times’ 100 notables list—but most Portland readers have been slow to catch on even to its existence. Well, now’s your second chance: The book just dropped in paperback this week, and you might as well give yourself the chance to say you knew him when. Because Fourth of July Creek is one of the most assured and accomplished debut novels in recent memory, right up there with Zadie Smith’s White Teeth. The book, like its Reagan-era, hardscrabble Montana setting, is both savage and beautiful, a survey of human wreckage. A kid and his mom “tear at each other like two wet cats in a sack.” A daddy strips his kid naked in the cold rather than take a shirt from a stranger. Pete Snow, Henderson’s protagonist, is the man from the government who’s here to help, a social worker with infi nite patience while trying to fi x ruined lives, even as his own is a never-ending hangover—estranged wife in Texas, estranged daughter whom he almost killed while drunk. His daughter’s story floats through the book in Q&As that seem removed from time, both lyrical and goofball in their abstraction: “Was ruin what they came to? Of a kind. What kind? Indianapolis.” Snow’s foil is Jeremiah Pearl—backwoods, feral and obsessed with self-sufficiency—whom Snow meets when he brings Pearl’s half-starved boy home. Pearl makes his entrance in the darkness, behind the glare of a flashlight. “You come clothed in weakness,” he tells Snow, “but I know what stands behind you…. I’ll put one in that boy’s brain before I let you have them.” But for a book steeped in the stuff of melodrama—a litany of heartbreak, a staredown with the feds—it is starkly unsentimental, attentive to precise detail that makes even tragedy funny: a waitress with “terrifyingly cold feet,” a kid who stares “dare-faced,” Pearl genuinely surprised the Antichrist was Reagan instead of some European. It is a remarkable book, hilarity and savagery balled up like a fist. MATTHEW KORFHAGE.

from $50 per night single occupancy ($55 double)

The GeorGia hoTel A Vintage Walk-Up Stroll to Powell’s, Shops, Restaurants, Theaters & Crystal Ballroom

308 SW 12th at Stark St. • 503- 227-3259

GO: Smith Henderson reads at Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 226-4681, on Thursday, March 19. 7:30 pm. Free. Willamette Week MARCH 18, 2015 wweek.com

march 18–24 FEATURE

= WW Pick. Highly recommended.

LEO ZAROSINSKI

MOVIES

Editor: JOHN LOCANTHI. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, send screening information at least two weeks in advance to Screen, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: jlocanthi@wweek.com. Fax: 243-1115.

OPENING THIS WEEK The Gunman

Sean Penn is a gunman who suffers from PTSD as a result of gunning down so many people. r. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Mill Plain, Cornelius, Oak Grove, Cinema 99, Lloyd Center, Tigard, Wilsonville, Sandy.

STILL SHOWING ’71

B+ Behind enemy lines, as seen

through the eyes of an abandoned British soldier in the midst of the Troubles of 1971 Belfast. Despite myriad explosions, onscreen deaths, and visceral emotional stereotypes associated with action thrillers, ’71’s excellent pacing and a well-crafted, character-driven plot manage to evoke comparisons to films like Scorsese’s Departed. Director Yann Demange steers remarkably clear of a political emphasis, choosing to depict a city at war with itself, where audiences may see a two-shaded conflict cast in a single solemn shade of gray. ’71 depicts the horrors of the Troubles in a personal and horrifyingly tense reality, an accomplishment that shows tremendous respect for its subject. r. PARKER HALL. Fox Tower.

American Sniper

D Chris Kyle (Bradley Cooper) shoots people. r. Showing at most Portlandarea theaters.

Annie

Annie rebooted for a modern audience. PG. Vancouver.

Ballet 422

A backstage look at up-and-coming choreographer Justin Peck as he puts together a new work for the New York City Ballet. PG. Living Room Theaters.

Big Eyes

B- For Margaret Keane, “eyes are the window to the soul.” At least, that’s the drivel the artist (a blondwigged Amy Adams) has to deliver in Tim Burton’s Big Eyes, a biopic that winds up wanting for both vision and soul. Art critics lambasted the work as sentimental kitsch, but the public adored it. And Margaret got none of the credit. Her husband, Walter (Christoph Waltz)—a charming huckster and self-deluded egotist—presented himself as the artist. Big Eyes is often tiresome, and Burton skims over thorny questions—the populist craze for kitsch, gendered expectations in art, the line between highbrow and lowbrow. PG-13. REBECCA JACOBSON. Laurelhurst Theater.

Big Hero 6

A Shelving wordy cleverness for its

own sake, ignoring parental intrusion, and allowing moral lessons to develop organically through a simplified storyline, Big Hero 6 is that rarest thing: an animated children’s adventure designed purely to delight its target audience. Substantial swaths of the picture are devoted to nothing loftier than portraying just how unstoppably cool soaring on the back of your own robot would feel. PG. JAY HORTON. Avalon, Laurelhurst Theater, Mt. Hood, Vancouver, Valley.

Birdman

B- If Birdman’s message is that the

theater, specifically Broadway, is the home of high art and Hollywood a place of debased, greed-driven entertainment, Alejandro González Iñárritu doesn’t make a convincing—or even amusingly satirical— argument. r. REBECCA JACOBSON. CineMagic, Hollywood, Bridgeport, Fox Tower.

Black Sea

B- Jude Law and his merry band of misfits search for sunken Soviet gold in Black Sea, a recession drama in the guise of a submarine thriller. r. MICHAEL NORDINE. Vancouver.

Chappie

B- Anyone expecting Chappie to match the brilliant political allegories of director Neill Blomkamp’s District 9 should know that Chappie is essentially a mashup of Short Circuit, Robocop and assorted direct-to-video action films from the ’80s. It’s all to say that Chappie is pretty fucking stupid. But if you lower your expectations, it’s also kind of a blast. r. AP KRYZA. Showing in most Portland-area theaters.

Cinderella

D+ Disney’s Cinderella is an animated classic beyond question. But what do you get when you replace the iconic singing fairy godmother with Helena Bonham Carter and a loud, repetitive score? You get Kenneth Branagh’s tiresome live-action retcon of Cinderella. In Branagh’s Cinderella, we meet not only Lily James’ Ella—yes, that is her new name—but also her perfect, happy parents, albeit briefly. Her mother’s final words: “Have courage and be kind.” (Get used to that advice— you’ll hear it often.) Her father gets remarried to her late mother’s polar opposite, the cruel, ambitious Lady Tremaine (Cate Blanchett, having a ball as the ice queen in green). While villains do tend to be more interesting than heroes, the difference is pronounced here. Blanchett plays the only character with any, well, character, while Bonham Carter channels her inner Johnny Depp, and Prince Charming (Richard Madden) gets swept off his feet by the profundity of “Have courage and be kind.” The story is changed so the prince falls for Ella before the ball. “Cinderella” is a pejorative concocted by Ella’s boorish stepsisters. So of course Ella introduces herself to the prince as Cinderella. This is one of several alterations that make little sense, but Cinderella has the courage to assume you weren’t paying attention anyway. PG. JOHN LOCANTHI. Showing at most Portlandarea theaters.

Citizenfour

B History happens in real time in Citizenfour, a behind-closed-doors account of Edward Snowden’s decision to reveal the dizzying extent of U.S. government surveillance programs. r. MICHAEL NORDINE. Laurelhurst Theater.

The DUFF

DUFF (“designated ugly fat friend”) is apparently a thing kids say these days. PG-13. Showing at most Portland-area theaters.

Fifty Shades of Grey

D Fifty Shades turns what was supposed to be a torrid affair into an overly serious episode of Beverly Hills 90210 with some timid softcore erotica thrown in. The source material might have made a decent porno. Unfortunately, Universal sued the porn studio that intended to do this movie justice. That’s a shame. r. JOHN LOCANTHI. Showing at most Portland-area theaters.

Focus

B- Great con-man movies—a subgenre old as cinema itself—strike a difficult balance between breezy capers and deeper examinations of character motives. It’s a dance between glamorizing the life of crime and facing the inevitable emptiness it begets. In this scenario, Focus hits most of the right notes. It’s a slick, funny and sometimes suspenseful yarn, a picture that’s light on its feet and mostly forgettable, but it

CONT. on page 49 48

Willamette Week MARCH 18, 2015 wweek.com

KNOW YOUR DYSTOPIA YOUNG ADULT WORLDS BEYOND THE HUNGER GAMES. BY john loca n thi

jlocanthi@wweek.com

The second film in the Divergent series hits theaters this week. Insurgent, adapted from the wildly popular series of young adult novels, centers on a gutsy heroine uniting disparate factions in a post-apocalyptic future. This might sound a little familiar, but rest assured: The Divergent series is, in fact, not The Hunger Games. The protagonists (Tris, Katniss) have completely different—well, somewhat different—names. Here is a primer to the various dystopias from the young adult section. Divergent The setting: Society is divided into five factions after Chicago has descended into a post-apocalyptic hellscape. These factions are: Abnegation (the selfless), Amity (the peaceful), Candor (the honest), Dauntless (the brave), and Erudite (the intelligent). Try to guess which one is evil. The hero: Tris shows an aptitude for three factions, because she is (dun dun dun) divergent. Tris is one of few people in future Chicago to be intelligent, brave and selfless. She joins Dauntless, falls in love with her instructor and uses her divergent superpowers to defeat the power-hungry Erudites, who are smart but totally not brave or honest or selfless. Domestic box office: $150.9 million. How is this not The Hunger Games? Tris is fighting smart people, not rich people. Dust Lands The setting: There’s a coliseum where people fight to the death. And there’s a king who controls people through an addictive drug. Oh, and there are four horsemen who kidnap people. The hero: Saba, whose twin brother is kidnapped by the four horsemen, is a good fighter who is willing to go a long way to protect her little sister. Saba eventually joins Jack and the Free Hawks, a revolutionary girl gang. Domestic box office: $0 (Ridley Scott’s U.K. studio owns the rights to adapt the first book in the series, Blood Red Road).

How is this not The Hunger Games? Battles to the death performed in front of a live studio audience. The Maze Runner The setting: There’s this place called the Glade. Every day a new boy arrives in the Glade in a box. These boys— “Gladers,” to use the world’s parlance—all perform tasks assigned by various Keepers. The Glade itself is surrounded by a large maze filled with mechanical beetles with “WICKED” scrawled on them. The hero: Thomas is a wicked good maze runner. Box office: $102.4 million worldwide. How is this not The Hunger Games? The protagonist has a penis. The Hunger Games The setting: North America is called Panem, which consists of a vibrant, vivacious Capitol and 12 districts in various states of poverty. Every year, the Capitol rounds up one girl and one boy, aged 12 to 18, from each district to compete in the brutal Hunger Games—televised lived for the amusement of the citizens in the Capitol. There can be only one winner. The hero: Katniss is from District 12, the poorest district, which is near present-day Appalachia (dystopian “future” indeed). She is also a leading figure in the Second Rebellion against the Capitol. Domestic box office: $1.17 billion. How is this not The Hunger Games? In fact, it is. Skynet The setting: In the not-too-distant future, mankind designs a software program called the Global Digital Defense Network. This backfires spectacularly and culminates in robots trying to destroy humanity. There are also time-traveling robots programmed to kill a specific person. And another time-traveling robot trying to stop the other timetraveling robots. The hero: Cyberdyne Systems Skynet is a selfaware computer that decided killing humans was the best way to preserve itself. Total domestic box office gross to date: The Terminator franchise has raked in $844.5 million (adjusted for ticket-price inflation). How is this not The Hunger Games? Robots! SEE IT: Insurgent is rated PG-13. It opens Friday at most major Portland-area theaters.

MARCH 18–24

Foxcatcher

B Michael Scott has a funny nose.

R. MATTHEW SINGER. Laurelhurst Theater, Vancouver.

A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night

A- Writer-director Ana Lily Amirpour’s A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night is an eclectic cinematic mishmash: an Iranian noir-spaghetti Western-love story with vampires. And yet, somehow, it all works. JOHN LOCANTHI. Cinema 21.

The Hunger Games: Mockingjay, Part 1 Dystopian YA film series that is not The Divergent Series. PG-13. Indoor Twin, Laurelhurst Theater, Vancouver, Joy Cinema, Valley.

The Imitation Game

Clackamas, Bridgeport, Division, Lloyd Center, Movies on TV, Valley.

MICHAEL NORDINE. Living Room Theaters.

Maps to the Stars

A Most Violent Year

B- It comes as little surprise that

David Cronenberg would eventually make a warts-and-all send-up of celebrity culture. Cronenberg’s roving ensemble in Maps to the Stars includes a Justin Bieber-like child star who calmly meets with obsessed Make-A-Wish kids and an aging actress whose glory days have faded along with her youth. Maps to the Stars can be wildly disjointed at times, its tonal range often unwieldy. This is Hollywood at its most uncensored, and there’s rarely a voice of reason or moral compass to bring things back to earth. Cronenberg doesn’t pull any punches in his excoriation of this world, but he doesn’t provide much revelatory insight either. R.

B The fi lm takes place in 1981 New York, one of the most crime-ridden years in the city’s history. From the long takes and fl uid camera movements to the color palette—icy blue nights, washed-out industrial zones and the yellow glow of dark restaurants full of sinister men—the fi lm could easily be mistaken for a vintage production. The story’s brooding, heavy heart is an ambitious Colombian immigrant named Abel—played by rising star Oscar Isaac with the looks and ferocity of a young Al Pacino—who seeks to expand his sketchy heating-oil business despite near-constant

CONT. on page 50

REVIEW ANDREW COOPER

still manages moments of intrigue. R . AP KRYZA . Showing at most Portland-area theaters.

MOVIES

B Full of childhood fl ashbacks,

handsome sets, sharp zingers and a careful dash of devastation, the Imitation Game takes a prickly prodigy—Turing pioneered the fi eld of computer science and helped crack Nazi codes—and places him in an eminently (and sometimes overly) palatable picture . PG-13. REBECCA JACOBSON. Bridgeport, Fox Tower.

Inherent Vice

A Paul Thomas Anderson’s rollicking adaptation of Thomas Pynchon’s 2009 novel. R. Academy Theater, Edgefield, Kennedy School, Laurelhurst Theater, Mission.

Interstellar

C+ The McConnaissance goes into outer space. PG-13. Academy Theater, Empirical Theater, Laurelhurst Theater, Mt. Hood, Vancouver.

Into the Woods

B+ Stephen Sondheim’s much-

loved musical has fi nally made it to the big screen. The fi lm is divided into halves: the fi rst full of payoff s and the second full of inescapable relationship truths and romantic boredom. Though timid—it waters down forest sex to an agonized make-out scene in the pines—Disney’s long-shelved adaptation is still a beautiful compromise. And hell, the mash-up of cautionary fairy tales is fun, with the Witch (Meryl Streep) pushing a young couple (James Corden and Emily Blunt) to undo a family curse they inherited . PG. SAUNDRA SORENSON. Academy Theater, Vancouver, Valley.

Jupiter Ascending

B There’s not a recognizable idea to be found in the whole of Jupiter Ascending’s grand space opera/cartoon. A plotline does exist, though the movie dispenses with the important bits as swiftly as possible. We’re scarcely introduced to Jupiter Jones (Mila Kunis), plucky cleaning woman with a penchant for stargazing, before fl oating wraiths, blue-haired bounty hunters, and dashingly feral disgraced soldier Caine Wise (Channing Tatum) appear on her trail. A wholly illogical fairy-tale denouement that leaves little expectation of sequels. Mad they may be, but the Wachowskis aren’t stupid. PG-13. JAY HORTON. Eastport, Clackamas, Cinema 99, Division, Evergreen, Movies on TV, Tigard.

Kingsman: The Secret Service

A- Remember when spy movies were fun? Kingsman: The Secret Service does. R . JOHN LOCANTHI . Showing at most Portland-area theaters.

The Lazarus Effect

Like Lazarus, Olivia Wilde is brought back from the dead, except Mark Duplass performs the miracle instead of Jesus this time . PG-13 . Cedar Hills, Eastport,

ON THE RUN: Tris, Four and Caleb are fugitives.

THE DIVERGENT SERIES: INSURGENT Killing people for being different is not good.

The Divergent Series: Insurgent is essentially a dumb action movie, except with the traditional gender roles reversed. The hero is a woman. The villain is a woman. The ever-supportive eye candy is a dude. They kill a lot of people. In the Divergent series, dystopian future Chicago is ruled by five factions, each defined by a personality trait. The second film in this series picks up where the first left off: Our hero, Tris (Shailene Woodley), is still reeling from the death of her mother (Ashley Judd), the destruction of her mother’s faction and the near annihilation of her own faction at the hands of Jeanine (Kate Winslet), who leads Erudite, yet another faction. Tris, her boyfriend, Four (Theo James), her brother and the traitorous Peter are all fugitives, with Jeanine and her minions hot on their tail. Tris has an aptitude for multiple factions and is therefore “divergent,” which is bad. Why the factions want to eliminate divergents will never fully make sense. Jeanine found a Fifth Element-style puzzle box in the house of Tris’ late mother and needs a divergent to unlock the five sides of it, which correspond to the factions. So the Erudites devise a tool that identifies a person’s divergence. Guess who is 100 percent divergent. Many weapons don’t work on divergents due to all their divergence. It’s best not to think about any of this too hard. The film is essentially one long fight with occasional scene changes—they’re on a train! Rooftop gunfight! Fisticuffs in the hallway! The PTSD, haunting images of Tris’ mother, a trial and most embarrassingly, Four’s forced drama with his estranged mother provide brief breaks from the bloodshed. Director Robert Schwenke spends some time trying to develop this drama, or at least as much as any dumb action movie invests in character development. These quiet moments are a good opportunity to use the restroom. It’s probably good that the old “chick flick” has been abandoned, and that the success of The Hunger Games and the Divergent series proves that teenage girls like watching bloodshed, explosions and mayhem, too. This is at least as much a message as the one hamfistedly stamped onto the end of the film: Don’t kill people for being different. Good advice. JOHN LOCANTHI C- SEE IT: The Divergent Series: Insurgent is rated PG-13. It opens Friday at most major Portland-area theaters.

Divergent Series: Insurgent, The XD-3D (PG13) 10:45AM 1:45PM 4:45PM 7:45PM 10:45PM Divergent Series: Insurgent, The (PG-13) 11:45AM 1:00PM 4:00PM 7:00PM 10:00PM Divergent Series: Insurgent, The 3D (PG-13) 2:45PM 5:45PM 8:45PM McFarland, USA (PG) 10:40AM 1:40PM 4:40PM 7:40PM 10:40PM Run All Night (R) 10:50AM 1:35PM 4:30PM 7:20PM 10:15PM Kingsman: The Secret Service (R) 10:40AM 1:40PM 4:40PM 7:40PM 10:40PM The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water (PG) 11:55AM 4:55PM 9:55PM Jupiter Ascending (PG-13) 10:45AM 4:45PM Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, The (PG) 10:55AM 1:45PM 4:35PM 7:30PM 10:20PM The Lazarus Effect (PG-13) 11:00AM 4:45PM 10:10PM

The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water 3D (PG) 2:25PM 7:25PM The Duff (PG-13) 11:10AM 4:30PM 9:50PM Selma (PG-13) 1:45PM 7:45PM Still Alice (PG-13) 1:50PM 7:10PM Cinderella (2015) (PG) 10:40AM 11:40AM 12:30PM 1:30PM 2:30PM 3:20PM 4:15PM 5:15PM 6:10PM 7:00PM 8:00PM 9:00PM 9:45PM 10:45PM Chappie (R) 10:50AM 1:50PM 4:50PM 7:50PM 10:40PM Jupiter Ascending 3D (PG-13) 10:45PM American Sniper (R) 1:20PM 7:05PM Focus (R) 11:50AM 2:30PM 5:10PM 7:55PM 10:35PM Gunman, The (R) 11:05AM 12:35PM 2:00PM 3:25PM 4:50PM 6:15PM 7:40PM 9:10PM 10:30PM Fifty Shades Of Grey (R) 10:45AM 1:40PM 4:35PM 7:35PM 10:35PM Do You Believe? (PG-13) 10:40AM 1:30PM 4:25PM 7:15PM 10:10PM

Divergent Series: Insurgent, The (PG-13) 11:00AM 1:50PM 4:40PM 7:40PM 10:40PM Divergent Series: Insurgent, The 3D (PG-13) 11:50AM 12:40PM 2:40PM 3:40PM 5:40PM 6:40PM 8:40PM 9:40PM McFarland, USA (PG) 1:00PM 4:00PM 7:00PM 10:00PM Kingsman: The Secret Service (R) 1:10PM 4:10PM 7:10PM 10:10PM The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water (PG) 11:20AM 1:45PM 4:10PM 6:35PM 9:00PM Run All Night (R) 11:05AM 1:50PM 4:35PM 7:20PM 10:05PM The Duff (PG-13) 11:40AM 2:15PM 4:50PM 7:25PM 10:00PM

Selma (PG-13) 3:50PM 10:05PM

Divergent Series: Insurgent, The 3D (PG-13) 11:15AM 2:25PM 4:00PM 5:35PM 10:20PM Divergent Series: Insurgent, The (PG-13) 12:50PM 7:10PM 8:45PM Kingsman: The Secret Service (R) 12:45PM 3:55PM 7:15PM 10:15PM McFarland, USA (PG) 12:30PM 3:40PM 7:05PM 10:05PM The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water (PG) 11:35AM 4:35PM 7:05PM 9:40PM Jupiter Ascending (PG-13) 1:10PM 4:10PM 7:10PM 10:10PM The Duff (PG-13) 11:25AM 2:15PM 4:55PM 7:45PM 10:25PM

The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water 3D (PG) 2:10PM Run All Night (R) 11:10AM 2:00PM 4:50PM 7:40PM 10:30PM Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, The (PG) 12:40PM 3:50PM 6:55PM 9:55PM Chappie (R) 11:10AM 2:00PM 4:50PM 7:40PM 10:30PM Cinderella (2015) (PG) 11:00AM 12:00PM 1:00PM 1:55PM 3:00PM 3:45PM 5:00PM 6:00PM 7:00PM 8:00PM 9:00PM 9:50PM Gunman, The (R) 12:45PM 3:50PM 7:00PM 10:00PM American Sniper (R) 12:55PM 7:20PM Fifty Shades Of Grey (R) 4:05PM 10:25PM Focus (R) 11:30AM 2:05PM 4:45PM 7:25PM 10:15PM

Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, The (PG) 11:00AM 1:55PM 4:50PM 7:45PM 10:35PM Chappie (R) 11:00AM 1:50PM 4:40PM 7:30PM 10:20PM American Sniper (R) 12:45PM 7:00PM Gunman, The (R) 11:10AM 2:00PM 4:50PM 7:40PM 10:30PM Cinderella (2015) (PG) 11:00AM 12:10PM 1:05PM 1:50PM 2:55PM 3:50PM 4:40PM 5:40PM 6:35PM 7:30PM 8:25PM 9:30PM 10:20PM Focus (R) 11:25AM 2:00PM 4:35PM 7:15PM 10:00PM

FRIDAY Willamette Week MARCH 18, 2015 wweek.com

MARCH 18–24

hijackings of his trucks. This is a slow, methodical character study whose title belies a relatively bloodless story. R . AP KRYZA. Academy Theater, Laurelhurt Theater.

Run All Night

Liam Neeson pits his very speciﬁ c set of skills against Ed Harris as the Neesonaissance continues unabated. R. Showing at most Portland-area theaters.

The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel

B Old folks home in India revisited. PG . JOHN LOCANTHI. Showing at most Portland-area theaters.

Selma

A- Selma, Ava DuVernay’s drama

about three 1965 civil rights marches in Alabama, is not perfect, but it arrives at a historic moment that will leave only the most blinkered viewer feeling chuff ed about the superiority of the present to the past. Violence here is never aestheticized for its own sake, but brought to life so that we might understand its escalation and impact. The fi lm is transfi xing, but not easy to watch. And it should not be easy to watch . PG-13 . CHRIS STAMM . Cedar Hills, Clackamas, Cornelius, Living Room Theaters, Bridgeport.

The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water

B SpongeBob SquarePants in 3-D ! PG . JOHN LOCANTHI . Showing at most Portland-area theaters.

Still Alice

A- Still Alice charts a linguistics pro-

fessor’s descent into early-onset Alzheimer’s disease. Richard Glatzer and Wash Westmoreland’s fi lm has an element of carefully balanced melodrama, thanks to a tightly written script and Julianne Moore’s transformative performance. Moore’s Alice begins the fi lm as a put-together Columbia professor who beats herself up for forgetting a single word in a lecture. As Alice’s memory worsens, Moore loosens her performance in a gradual, almost imperceptible manner. The fi lm is somewhat hampered by an overly dramatic score and a few lackluster performances, though Kristen Stewart’s work as Alice’s free-spirited daughter is a refreshing turn for the usually stoic actress. PG-13 . BLAIR STENVICK . Clackamas, Bridgeport, City Center, Fox Tower, Movies on TV.

Taken 3

The prequel to T4ken. PG-13 . Mt. Hood, Vancouver.

The Theory of Everything

B- A brief history of Stephen Hawking’s 30-year marriage to Jane Wilde, The Theory of Everything ﬁ ts a tad too snugly into the biopic tradition. Here, Hawking’s contributions to the ﬁ elds of physics and cosmology take a backseat to the story of his and Wilde’s courtship, marriage and eventual divorce . PG-13 . MICHAEL NORDINE . Fox Tower, Tigard.

Unfinished Business

The latest Vince Vaughnedy. R . Showing at most Portland-area theaters.

What We Do in the Shadows

B+ The last thing pop culture needs

is another vampire ﬂ ick. The secondto-last is more reality TV. Leave it to a pack of Kiwis—including Jemaine Clement of Flight of the Conchords fame—to give us both and somehow make vampires and reality TV feel fresh. JOHN LOCANTHI . Cinema 21.

Whiplash

B+ Whiplash clefts music from dance, love and spirituality. What’s left is muscle, red and raw, beating faster and faster against a drum. Damien Chazelle’s beautiful but troubling ﬁ lm centers on a battle of egos and tempos, as Andrew (Miles Teller) must decide how much of himself and his sanity he’s willing to give to music. Teller gives a close-to-the-chest performance. J.K. Simmons is certainly horrifying as his instructor. And

here’s where Whiplash is most troubling: It views the abusive instructor as a necessary evil for creating great art. This ﬂ ies in the face not just of morality but of history. R . JAMES HELMSWORTH . Fox Tower, Movies on TV.

AP FILM STUDIES

LAURA GIANETTI

MOVIES

Wild

A- Reese Witherspoon trudges

north in Wild, the ﬁ lm adaptation of Portlander Cheryl Strayed’s best-selling memoir about hiking 1,100 miles from scorched California to soggy Oregon. R. Living Room Theaters, Bridgeport.

Wild Canaries

B Bickering Brooklyn couple Barri and Noah (played by real-life couple Sophia Takal and director Lawrence Michael Levine) become bumbling detectives when their 84-year-old neighbor, Sylvia, mysteriously dies. Suspecting her down-and-out son (Kevin Corrigan), they begin a breaking-and-entering spree and blatantly stalk their neighbors while disguised in wide-brimmed hats and widerrimmed sunglasses. The couple’s lesbian roommate (Alia Shawkat) obnoxiously titters with Barri over imagined murder plots, befuddling this fast-paced whodunit even further. The two women seem more of a couple than Barri and Noah. Eventually, suspicion turns to the couple’s abusive, poker-playing, potsmoking landlord, who apparently has a fetish for creating models of his closest friends’ severed heads. All in the name of art. From the opening scene—in which a man in gloves and the iconic taupe trench coat stalks in to a ﬁ lm noir soundtrack—to the ﬁ nish, Wild Canaries is self-mocking. It mashes twee Brooklyn navel-gazing with relationship dramedy and Pink Panther-style sleuthing. Boring it’s not, but it’s not groundbreaking, either. ENID SPITZ . Laurelhurst Theater.

Wild Tales

B+ Wild Tales, Argentina’s nominee

for Best Foreign Language Film at this year’s Oscars, begins with a cold open of airline passengers coming to the realization that they wronged the same man. Who happens to be the pilot. The plane crashes and the opening credits roll. Wild Tales is a series of vignettes about revenge, ranging from run-of-the-mill homicide to cheating on your wedding day. If revenge is a dish best served cold, Wild Tales presents it as a terrible dish served hot out of the oven. Don’t let the dark subject matter fool you: Director Damián Szifron mines the humor out of all six stories. He captures the Wile E. Coyote and Roadrunner vibe of a road-raging douchebag and a crude redneck locked in an increasingly violent bout on a lonely highway. He fi nds the smirk in a chef nonchalantly suggesting that a waitress slip rat poison into a patron’s food. Szifron even squeezes a few laughs out a millionaire’s attempts to buy his drunkendriving son’s way out of prison after he kills a pregnant woman. Wild Tales’ mix of humor and darkness works because every situation escalates too quickly for the gravity to register. The fi lm even has an Aesopian moral: Sometimes it’s better to just let things go. Maybe fi ghting an unjust parking ticket isn’t worth missing your daughter’s birthday party, you know? R . JOHN LOCANTHI. Cinema 21.

The Wrecking Crew

A music documentary about the Wrecking Crew in L.A., which you’ve undoubtedly heard already, whether you know it or not. These studio musicians played on tracks for Frank Sinatra, the Beach Boys, the Mamas and and Papas, and the Monkees, among others . Hollywood, Kiggins.

For more Movies listings, visit

Willamette Week MARCH 18, 2015 wweek.com

FEAR OF MUSIC SWEDISH ARTIST ERIK BÜNGER SEES FILM MUSIC AS A VIRUS. BY A P KRYZA

apkryza@wweek.com

Since he was a child, Erik Bünger has been followed by the sinister shadow of Harry Lime. More specifically, he’s been haunted by the jaunty, ethereal zither melody of the theme from The Third Man, Carol Reed’s landmark 1949 film noir classic. So haunted that the Swedish performance artist living in Berlin has used his obsession with Anton Karas’ score as the foundation of his examination of music as a virus. Bünger presents The Third Man on Wednesday, March 18, at 7:30 pm at the Portland Institute for Contemporary Art. During his presentation, Bünger talks extensively about his childhood fascination with the music, springboarding into a discussion about the infectious nature of film music, from Reed’s classic as well as The Night of the Hunter, The Sound of Music and 2001: A Space Odyssey—with a little Kylie Minogue thrown in for good measure. Bünger Skyped in from Berlin with AP Film Studies to give us a preview of his unique take on film music. AP Film Studies: When did your obsession with The Third Man start? Erik Bünger: When I was very small, my father used to play this song, “The Third Man,” for me. He would have this score on his piano, and on the [cover] was the image of this shadow from the movie. What struck you most about it? It’s a very sweet melody. It could have been a jingle for soap or chewing gum. But since it was attached to this movie, it has this haunted quality to it. It made me think about how music is somehow empty. Empty in the same way as a virus needs a host to give it meaning. Music, then, can be seen as a virus. It could be a social context like a movie or a political movement. Or a human brain. It needs a thing to survive.

So the image of Harry Lime’s shadow is what really frightened you? I only had the shadow in my head. The content of a shadow is missing in the same way the music lacks a particular content. It manages to attach itself to what is already there, in this case a child dreaming about a shadow. Do you think music functions as kind of a character in movies? Throughout the film, you hear the song, and it somehow reminds you subconsciously about this other being controlling what happens on screen. It can operate in a devilish way that sneaks into your mind. It can bring back memories or ideas without letting you notice. What do you want people to take away from this performance? My whole piece is based on the idea of trying to warn people against the power of music. Of course, it’s an impossible thing. I’m exposing them to the music I’m warning them against. It’s like giving somebody a drug to help them understand. Once you’ve taken the drug, you’re already screwed. ALSO SHOWING: The free Weird Wednesday series continues with the wonderfully tacky 1963 “monster in a castle” schlockfest Tomb of Torture. Joy Cinema. 9:15 pm Wednesday, March 18. The Academy’s stellar noir series continues with Stanley Kubrick’s heist ﬁlm The Killing. Academy Theater. March 20-26. The NW Film Center’s Italian Style series wraps up with screenings of the Bogart classic The Barefoot Contessa (Friday and Sunday), Michelangelo Antonioni’s fashion-forward Le Amiche (Sunday) and Dino Risi’s 1962 road comedy, Il Sorpasso. NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium. March 20-22. The Hollywood is ﬁnally debuting its new 70 mm system, further solidifying its status among America’s great movie houses. First up, 2001: A Space Odyssey. Most showings were sold out at press time, but don’t discount new ones being added. Hollywood Theatre. 2 pm Saturday and 7 pm Friday-Monday, March 20-23. The revelation of Robin Williams’ tragic battle with mental illness adds a new layer of intrigue to perhaps his best performance as a whimsical, disturbed drifter seeking the Holy Grail in Terry Gilliam’s The Fisher King. Clinton Street Theater. 7 pm Friday-Sunday, March 20-22.

MOVIES

C O U R T E S Y O F WA R N E R B R O S .

MARCH 20–26

MY GOD, IT’S FULL OF STARS: See 2001: A Space Odyssey in 70 mm at Hollywood Theatre on March 21-23.

Regal Lloyd Center 10 & IMAX

1510 NE Multnomah St. THE DIVERGENT SERIES DOUBLE FEATURE IMAX CINDERELLA: THE IMAX EXPERIENCE THE DIVERGENT SERIES: INSURGENT Fri-Sun-MonTue-Wed 12:30, 03:30, 07:30 THE DIVERGENT SERIES: INSURGENT -- AN IMAX 3D EXPERIENCE Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 01:00, 04:00, 07:00, 10:00 TCM PRESENTS: REAR WINDOW Sun-Wed 02:00, 07:00 FOUR BLOOD MOONS Mon 07:30 GET HARD Fri 12:45, 03:45, 06:45, 09:45 THE BREAKFAST CLUB 30TH ANNIVERSARY HOME Fri 11:30, 04:30, 09:30 HOME 3D Fri 02:00, 07:00

Regal Division Street Stadium 13 16603 SE Division St. THE DIVERGENT SERIES: INSURGENT Fri 12:00, 03:45, 07:00 THE DIVERGENT SERIES: INSURGENT 3D Fri 12:30, 04:30, 07:30, 10:00, 10:30 DO YOU BELIEVE? Fri 12:15, 03:30, 07:15, 10:15

Bagdad Theater

3702 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 503-249-7474 CHAPPIE THE DIVERGENT SERIES: INSURGENT FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:45, 03:45, 07:00, 10:15

Cinema 21

616 NW 21st Ave., 503-223-4515 WILD TALES Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 03:45, 04:00, 06:45, 08:45, 09:15 WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 04:30, 07:00, 09:00 A GIRL WALKS HOME ALONE AT NIGHT Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 06:30

Clinton Street Theater

2522 SE Clinton St., 503-238-8899 GRAZING THE SKY THE FISHER KING Fri-Sat-Sun 07:00 THE AMAZING BUBBLE MAN Sat 11:00, 02:00 THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW Sat 12:00 Mon HOW I COPED WHEN MOMMY DIED Tue 07:00 ACTING OUT: THE SCARLET D’S ON THEIR GRIEF TRIP Tue ARCADIA BAY FILM SCREENING Wed 08:00 SOMETHING BORROWED TEN MINUTE PLAY FESTIVAL Fri 07:00

Laurelhurst Theater & Pub 2735 E Burnside St.,

503-232-5511 FOXCATCHER Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 06:30 THE HUNGER GAMES: MOCKINGJAY, PART 1 CITIZENFOUR FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 07:00 INHERENT VICE Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 06:15, 09:15 BIG EYES INTERSTELLAR Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 08:45 BACK TO THE FUTURE ROBOCOP Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 09:35 A MOST VIOLENT YEAR Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 09:25 WILD CANARIES Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 06:40 BIG HERO 6 Fri-Sat-Sun 01:30, 04:15 PADDINGTON Sat-Sun 01:10

Mission Theater and Pub

1624 NW Glisan St., 503-249-7474-5 INHERENT VICE Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 08:30 THE WIZARD OF OZ MOULIN ROUGE Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 05:30 PADDINGTON Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 03:00

Moreland Theatre

6712 SE Milwaukie Ave., 503236-5257 THE SECOND BEST EXOTIC MARIGOLD HOTEL Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 05:30, 08:00

CineMagic Theatre

2021 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 503-231-7919 BIRDMAN OR (THE UNEXPECTED VIRTUE OF IGNORANCE) CHAPPIE Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 05:30, 08:00

Kiggins Theatre

1011 Main St., 360-816-0352 NO FILMS SHOWING TODAY THE WRECKING CREW Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue 03:15, 05:30 CHAMPS Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 07:45 SONG OF THE SEA Sat-Sun 02:30

Regal City Center Stadium 12

801 C St. THE DIVERGENT SERIES: INSURGENT Sat-Sun 11:15, 02:05, 05:15 THE DIVERGENT SERIES: INSURGENT 3D Fri-Sat-Sun 12:00, 03:00, 06:00, 08:15, 09:00

Century 16 Eastport Plaza 4040 SE 82nd Ave. JUPITER ASCENDING FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 01:10, 04:10, 07:10, 10:10 JUPITER ASCENDING 3D MCFARLAND, USA Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 12:30, 03:40, 07:05, 10:05 AMERICAN SNIPER Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-

Wed 12:55, 07:20 THE SPONGEBOB MOVIE: SPONGE OUT OF WATER Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:35, 04:35, 07:05, 09:40 THE SPONGEBOB MOVIE: SPONGE OUT OF WATER 3D Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 02:10 KINGSMAN: THE SECRET SERVICE Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:45, 03:55, 07:15, 10:15 FIFTY SHADES OF GREY Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 04:05, 10:25 THE DUFF Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 11:25, 10:25 THE LAZARUS EFFECT FOCUS Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:30, 02:05, 04:45, 07:25, 10:15 CHAPPIE Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:10, 02:00, 04:50, 07:40, 10:30 UNFINISHED BUSINESS THE SECOND BEST EXOTIC MARIGOLD HOTEL FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:40, 03:50, 06:55, 09:55 CINDERELLA Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 11:00, 12:00, 01:00, 01:55, 03:00, 03:45, 05:00, 06:00, 07:00, 08:00, 09:00, 09:50 THE DIVERGENT SERIES: INSURGENT Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 12:50, 07:10, 08:45 THE DIVERGENT SERIES: INSURGENT 3D Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:15, 02:25, 04:00, 05:35, 10:20 THE GUNMAN FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:45, 03:50, 07:00, 10:00 RUN ALL NIGHT Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:10, 02:00, 04:50, 07:40, 10:30 THE DIVERGENT SERIES DOUBLE FEATURE TCM PRESENTS: REAR WINDOW Sun-Wed 02:00, 07:00 FOUR BLOOD MOONS Mon 07:30

Empirical Theatre at OMSI

1945 SE Water Ave., 503-797-4000 WALKING WITH DINOSAURS 3D Fri-Sat 03:00 SECRET OCEAN Fri-Sat-Sun 11:00, 02:00 JERUSALEM INTERSTELLAR FLIGHT OF THE BUTTERFLIES Sat-Sun 10:00 JAMES CAMERON’S DEEPSEA CHALLENGE 3D Fri-Sat-Sun 12:00 DDAY: NORMANDY 1944 JOURNEY TO SPACE FriSat-Sun 01:00 SPIRITED AWAY Fri-Sat-Sun 04:30 PAPRIKA Fri-Sat 09:30 MUMMIES: SECRETS OF THE PHARAOHS Fri 11:00 AKIRA Fri 10:30 SUMMER WARS Sat-Sun 06:45 BEARS Sun 03:00

QUEER HORROR Wed 07:00 OUR HOSPITALITY

NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium

1219 SW Park Ave., 503-221-1156 FORCE MAJEURE THE BAREFOOT CONTESSA Fri-Sun 04:00 LE AMICHE Sat-Sun 07:00 IL SORPASSO Sat 07:00 NO FILMS SHOWING TODAY Mon-Tue-Wed

Regal Pioneer Place Stadium 6

340 SW Morrison St. THE DIVERGENT SERIES: INSURGENT Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 01:00, 04:00, 07:00 THE DIVERGENT SERIES: INSURGENT 3D Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:30, 03:30, 06:30, 09:30, 10:00 TKINGSMAN: THE SECRET SERVICE THE DUFF GET HARD Fri 01:30, 04:30, 07:30, 10:15 HOME Fri 01:15, 09:45 HOME 3D Fri 04:00, 07:00

St. Johns Theater

8203 N Ivanhoe St., 503-249-7474-6 CINDERELLA Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 01:00, 04:00, 07:00, 09:45

Academy Theater

7818 SE Stark St., 503-252-0500 PADDINGTON Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 11:50, 02:25, 04:30 INHERENT VICE Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 06:45, 09:50 INTO THE WOODS Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 01:45, 07:00 THE HOBBIT: THE BATTLE OF THE FIVE ARMIES Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:30, 03:50 INTERSTELLAR Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 06:30 STRANGERS ON A TRAIN A MOST VIOLENT YEAR Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 04:20, 09:30 THE KILLING Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 01:55, 09:40 STRANGE MAGIC SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:40 MATEO

Hollywood Theatre

4122 NE Sandy Blvd., 503-281-4215 THE WRECKING CREW Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 06:45, 09:00 BIRDMAN OR (THE UNEXPECTED VIRTUE OF IGNORANCE) Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 07:15 THE DUKE OF BURGUNDY 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY Fri-SatSun-Mon 07:00 HOWARD THE DUCK Fri 09:30 THE BEYOND Tue 07:30

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END ROLL

STRAIN REVIEW: WHITE MCWIDOW The original White Widow is to Amsterdam what the cheesesteak is to Philly or the bacontopped maple doughnut is to Portland. The Widow was a breakout hit on the city’s coffeehouse scene, winning the High Times Cannabis Cup way back in 1995. Think of it this way: This is what Vincent Vega was smoking while his Malibu was in storage back in Redondo Beach. Well, it ’s been 20 years now—earlier this year, the Widow was on High Times’ list of “10 Strains From the ’90s You Don’t See Anymore.” Not in dispensaries well-stocked with oil rigs, maybe. But look up a seed bank and you’ll still fi nd “the backbone of the Dutch coffee-shop industry” is widely sought-after. It’s crossed with AK-47 to make the legenda r ily potent W hite Russian and with three other strains to make the WW house-favorite, Omega. And it’s where Agrijuana’s Mike McElveny started his efforts to re-create a long-lost B.C.-bred strain that he’d grown for a few years in the early ’80s. “I wanted to go back to my roots, something that I had grown years and years and years ago, when I was a kid,” he says. “I looked and looked

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and studied and studied.” The result is McWidow, a sativa-dominant phenotype currently on sale in Washington at North Bonneville’s Cannabis Corner and finding its way to Battle Ground’s Cannabis Country Store and Vancouver’s dispensaries. A l l W h ite Widow seeds a re the sa me genotype, meaning they have the genetic material. But every regular seed will express those traits differently after it spends a month in the ground. McWidow began as one of 10 White Widow seeds sent from Amsterdam. Unlike its cousins, it leaned heavily on its sativa heritage, growing slowly to produce tall and winnow y stalks with long, feathery flowers. Those flowers have a light and piney scent, smoking easily and producing a quick-hitting, mildly euphoric and creative high with very light body effects. “It’s not a super-high potency, and it takes a while,” McElveny says. “But it’s a great plant. Not hard to grow and it has that smell—that f loral, piney scent I was looking for, that I remembered f rom a ll those yea rs back .” MAJOR E. SKINNER.

Beyond the Print

Willamette Week MARCH 18, 2015 wweek.com

For more information on John Callahan’s memorial, see ﬀojohncallahan.tumblr.com.

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Down 1 “Sunrise at Campobello” monogram 2 Agree to another tour 3 19th-century writer Sarah ___ Jewett 4 He asked us to “Eat It” 5 Futile 6 Beer order 7 Bad place for a cat to get stuck 8 Exhaled response 9 Long look 10 Be inquisitive, in a way 11 Nostalgic song about an Oklahoma city? 12 Place for a concert 16 They get tapped 18 “Nothing but ___” 22 “___ All Ye Faithful” 24 Business school course 26 Best Picture winner set in Iran 27 Cartoon impact sound 28 Yoko ablaze? 30 Brando played him in “Julius

Caesar” 33 Dien Bien ___, Vietnam 34 “Now it makes sense!” 36 Jack on “30 Rock” 37 Blinds component 39 Staff sign for violists 41 Spanish leather bag that looks like a canteen 44 Alive partner 47 “Be that as it may ...” 49 Hint at, with “to” 50 Word in an octagon 51 “Rocky” star Shire 52 Nickelodeon feature for many years 54 Pigeon noise 56 “My Life as ___” (1985 Swedish film) 58 Having no width or depth 59 NASA scratch 62 ___-hoo (drink brand) 63 “SMH,” verbally

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TAURUS (April 20-May 20): By 1993, rock band Guns N’ Roses had released five successful albums. But on the way to record their next masterpiece, there were numerous delays and diversions. Band members feuded. Some were fired and others departed. Eventually, only one original member remained to bring the task to conclusion with the help of new musicians. The sixth album, Chinese Democracy, finally emerged in 2008. I’m seeing a similarity between Guns N’ Roses’ process and one of your ongoing projects, Taurus. The good news is that I think most of the hassles and delays are behind you, or will be if you act now. You’re primed to make a big push toward the finish line. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): The anonymous blogger at Neurolove.me gives advice on how to love a Gemini: “Don’t get impatient with their distractibility. Always make time for great conversation. Be understanding when they’re moody. Help them move past their insecurities, and tell them it’s not their job to please everyone. Let them have space but never let them be lonely.” I endorse all that good counsel, and add this: “To love Geminis, listen to them attentively, and with expansive flexibility. Don’t try to force them to be consistent; encourage them to experiment at uniting their sometimes conflicting urges. As best as you can, express appreciation not just for the parts of them that are easy to love but also for the parts that are not yet ripe or charming.” Now feel free, Gemini, to show this horoscope to those whose affection you want. CANCER (June 21-July 22): You have recently been to the mountaintop, at least metaphorically. Right? You wandered out to the high frontier and ruminated on the state of your fate from the most expansive vista you could find. Right? You have questioned the limitations you had previously accepted, and you have weaned yourself from at least one of your devitalizing comforts, and you have explored certain possibilities that had been taboo. Right? So what comes next? Here’s what I suggest: Start building a new framework or structure or system that will incorporate all that you’ve learned during your break. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): According to the international code of food standards, there are 13 possible sizes for an olive. They include large, extra large, jumbo, extra jumbo, giant, colossal, super colossal, mammoth, and super mammoth. If I had my way, Leo, you would apply this mind-set to everything you do in the coming weeks. It’s time for you to think very big. You will thrive as you expand your mind, stretch your boundaries, increase your territory, amplify your self-expression, magnify your focus, and broaden your innocence. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): “Half the troubles of this life can be traced to saying yes too quickly and not saying no soon enough,” proclaimed humorist Josh Billings. That’s an exaggeration made for comic effect, of course. (And I think that some of life’s troubles also come from saying no too much and not saying yes enough.) But for you, Virgo, Billings’ advice will be especially pertinent in the coming weeks. In fact, my hypothesis is that you will be able to keep your troubles to a minimum and boost your progress to a maximum by being frugal with yes and ample with no. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Your mind says, “I need more room to move. I’ve got to feel free to experiment.” Your heart says, “I think maybe I need more commitment and certainty.” Your astrologer suggests, “Be a bit more skeptical about the dream lover who seems to be interfering with your efforts to bond with the Real

STICKERS the easy way.

Thing.” I’m not sure which of these three sources you should heed, Libra. Do you think it might somehow be possible to honor them all? I invite you to try. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): “Without your wound where would your power be?” asked writer Thornton Wilder. “The very angels themselves cannot persuade the wretched and blundering children on earth as can one human being broken on the wheels of living.” Let’s make that one of your ongoing meditations, Scorpio. I think the coming weeks will be an excellent time to come to a greater appreciation for your past losses. What capacities has your suffering given birth to? What failures have made you stronger? What crucial lessons and unexpected benefits have emerged from your sadness and madness? SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): “Creating is not magic but work,” says Kevin Ashton, author of the book How to Fly a Horse: The Secret History of Creation, Invention, and Discovery. In other words, inspiration is a relatively small part of the creative process. Over the long haul, the more important factors are self-discipline, organized thinking, hard work, and attention to detail. And yet inspiration isn’t irrelevant, either. Brainstorms and periodic leaps of insight can be highly useful. That’s a good reminder as you enter a phase when you’re likely to be more imaginative and original than usual. I expect creative excitement to be a regular visitor. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): The fictional detective Sherlock Holmes was a good Capricorn, born January 6, 1854. In the course of Arthur Conan Doyle’s 60 stories about his life, he revealed his exceptional talent as an analytical thinker. His attention to details was essential to his success, and so was his expertise at gathering information. He did have a problem with addictive drugs, however. Morphine tempted him now and then, and cocaine more often, usually when he wasn’t feeling sufficiently challenged. Let this serve as a gentle warning, Capricorn. In the coming weeks, seek more relaxation and downtime than usual. Focus on recharging your psychic batteries. But please be sure that doesn’t cause you to get bored and then dabble with self-sabotaging stimuli. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): English is my first language. Years ago there was a time when I spoke a lot of French with my Parisian girlfriend, but my skill faded after we broke up. So I’m not bilingual in the usual sense. But I do have some mastery in the language of music, thanks to my career as a singer-songwriter. Having raised a daughter, I also learned to converse in the language of children. And I’ve remembered and worked with my nightly dreams every day for decades, so I speak the language of dreams. What about you, Aquarius? In the coming weeks, I bet you’ll be challenged to make more extensive use of one of your second languages. It’s time to be adaptable and resourceful in your approach to communication. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Do you need a reason to think sharper and work smarter and try harder? I’ll give you four reasons. 1. Because you’re finally ready to get healing for the inner saboteur who in the past has undermined your confidence. 2. Because you’re finally ready to see the objective truth about one of your selfdoubts, which is that it’s a delusion. 3. Because you’re finally ready to stop blaming an adversary for a certain obstacle you face, which means the obstacle will become easier to overcome. 4. Because you’re finally ready to understand that in order to nurture and hone your ample creativity, you have to use it to improve your life on a regular basis.

Homework See what you can do to influence an institution that influences you. Report results at FreeWillAstrology.com.

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ARIES (March 21-April 19): You’re entering a time and space known as the Adlib Zone. In this territory, fertile chaos and inspirational uncertainty are freely available. Improvised formulas will generate stronger mojo than timeworn maxims. Creativity is de rigueur, and street smarts count for more than book-learning. May I offer some mottoes to live by when “common sense” is inadequate? 1. Don’t be a slave to necessity. 2. Be as slippery as you can be and still maintain your integrity. 3. Don’t just question authority; be thrilled about every chance you get to also question habit, tradition, fashion, trendiness, apathy, and dogma.

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